#‘i’ve been waiting my whole life for you and I’???
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NNN day 10 | Newborn Miracle
summary: the time has finally come, you and chris are going to become parents. Both of you are filled with joy and nervousness at the same time since this is a big step both of you have to make now and you’re ready more than ever for the adventures that lay ahead of you.
warnings: none, just child birth but besides it’s just chris becoming a proud father
authors note: this idea is so adorable I love the concept of babydad!chris and I need more people to write about it, so this is your sign to go do that rn 🫵 luv yall silk and hope y’all enjoy this one
no nut november | masterlist | guestlist
The sun had now began to rise, casting a golden color across the sky as I sat nervously in the passenger seat of Chris’s car, my hand clutching the hospital bag like it was a lifeline. Today was the day we had waited for, the day our lives would change forever. After months of preparing ourselves, endless conversations and debates about baby names and painting the nursery a soft shade of orange we were about to meet our little one. Chris was driving with a focused gaze I hadn’t seen before, his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.
Every so often he would spare glances at me, his blue eyes shining with excitement. “Are you ready for this?” he asked, his voice being a mix of joy and disbelief at whats going to happen today. I turned to him, my heart racing as I speak. “I think so. I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” I replied, feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach. The thought of actually becoming a parent was almost hard to believe . When we finally arrived at the hospital, the adrenaline kicked in.
We rushed through the automatic doors, our hearts pounding all together. The bright lights and the familiar smell of sanitary welcomed us as we checked in and were hushed towards the maternity section. The atmosphere was filled with anticipation but not just ours but from families around us, each with their own maternity story. After what felt like forever, it was time for me to be called in. Chris held my hand tightly as we walked together into the delivery room. My heart raced as I settled onto the hospital bed and feeling the cool sheets under me.
Nurses huddled around while preparing equipment for the delivery while Chris stood by my side, whispering soft words of motivation. Hours passed with the soft rhythm of contractions guiding us through the whole experience. Chris was never far from me and his presence felt like a warm blanket of comfort. He kept running his hands through my hair, his calming voice reminding me that we were in this together. “You’re doing amazing,” he softly whispered, his faith in me growing by the second. Finally, after what felt like an ongoing battle of will and strength, the moment arrived.
I could feel the overwhelming urge to push, and with each contraction, I used every ounce of strength I had left. In those intense moments, Chris’s eyes became my own. “You’ve got this, ma,” he reassured me, and I leaned into that support. With one final push and an intense surge of energy I didn’t know I had, we heard the most beautiful sound-our baby’s first ever cry. It was like music to our ears.
Suddenly, everything else faded away around us, the pain, the noise, the world outside. In that instant, all that mattered was the life that had just entered into our world. The doctor gently handed our baby to me, and my heart twisted with joy. I looked down and there they were, our little bundle of happiness in soft white blankets. Chris’s breath caught in his throat as he came closer with his eyes wide, filled with emotion all kinds of emotions. “Can I hold them?” he asked, his voice trembling with excitement. “Of course,” I smiled, shifting so he could take our baby.
Chris cradled our little one against his chest, and I watched as he radiated with pure love. He kissed their tiny forehead, an expression of shock shadowing his face. “You did it. You brought us this miracle,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion coming straight from the heart. Chris looked down at our baby as if they were the most precious treasure in the world. “I want to do skin-to-skin,” he said and I could see the excitement radiating from him. The nurses smiled approvingly and helped him gently remove his shirt, placing our baby against his bare chest.
The warmth of the moment hugged us as Chris’s skin touched our child’s delicate body. He looked at me, letting the little one into his now vulnerable heart. “Can you believe this?” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Our little one squirmed, their little hand reaching for where Chris’s heartbeat lies. I could see a connection forming, a bond that would last a lifetime. Tears filled my eyes as I watched the two of the most important people in my life together.
It was a moment of pure beauty, one I will cherish forever. Chris looked at me and grinned, as his face radiated with joy. “We’re parents,” he said, still star struck, “and this is just the beginning.” In that room surrounded by the warmth of new beginnings, we held each other close, both over the moon and overwhelmed by all of it. Our family was here, and we were ready for the wonderful adventure ahead.
@hearts4werka
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#✰ ! 𝐕’𝐬 𝐍𝐨 𝐍𝐮𝐭 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 ! ✰#✰ ! 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 🦌 ! ✰#✰ 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 ✰#baby daddy#baby daddy!chris#pregnancy#baby#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo fandom#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolos#matthew bernard sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#nicolas antonio sturniolo#sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets x reader#parenting#proud dad
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Your Arranged Marriage Series
Part 2: Geto Suguru
Word Count: 3k
Synopsis: You’ve always carried the weight of the Zenin name, struggling to live up to a family legacy that crushes more than it elevates. When your father demands you marry one of the few special-grade sorcerers at Jujutsu High or suffer a punishment too brutal to consider, you almost give up. Until Geto Suguru makes that decicion for you...
Warnings: reader is a member of the Zenin family so a lot of trauma lol, physical abuse, so much drama but a ton of fluff in the end, Suguru is our husband y'all
„(y/n).“
It started out like any other normal day at jujutsu high. Going to the classroom with Nanami and Yu, giving it all you’ve got despite the fact that you didn’t make it past grade 3 since you’ve started studying here, meeting up with Suguru and Satoru during break.
It’s been a comfortable life, more than you could have ever asked for. After all, you are none other than the daughter of the Zenin clan’s leader. The one who’s supposed to carry on a family of strong jujutsu sorcerers.
You. A grade 3.
“I gave you more than enough time to develop. Fuck, I even arranged you attending that cursed school!”
A rough slap that doesn’t even hurt anymore, your skin so adjusted to the sting that you felt nothing but numbness.
“Are you too dumb to understand the whole clan relies on your lousy self?”
He grabbed your hair and yanked you upwards again, forced you to stare straight into his dead eyes.
“If you aren’t capable of becoming a decent jujutsu sorcerer, you’ll have to marry one. Maybe your children will be of use.”
Your…children? Marrying someone back at jujutsu high? What a ridiculous thought, after all, you’re still way too young for something like this-
“I’ll give you three months. Three months to find a man who is a special grade jujutsu sorcerer. Three months until you have to get married.”
“But…There are only three special grade sorcerers!”, you protested out of instinct, only to get your mouth forcefully shut by another ruthless slap from your father that felt like breaking your nose.
“Seduce them. That’s the least you can do.”
Seduce them. Your gaze drifted towards Satoru and Suguru more than once, wondering if you’d ever dare to make a move on them. They greeted you so friendly, supported you as good as possible. Suguru started giving you training sessions after each and every rough day, taught you on a regular basis in order for you to become stronger.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, (y/n). Even though you’re a Zenin, you don’t have to be a special grade sorcerer”, he spoke softly while lifting you off the ground.
“Easy to say when you’re a special grade yourself…”, you muttered, careful to avoid his gentle gaze.
Suguru has always been to good for this world. Looking out for you when no one else does, supporting you through everything the best he can. Yes, Suguru Geto is the kind of husband every girl you ask for, the boy you’ve kept you’re eye on since the first time he spoke to you.
But asking him out, let alone proposing to him for the sake of your own well-being and your lousy family? You could never do that.
No, Suguru deserves way better than you. What if he thinks you only want him because of his title? What if your father digs his mighty claws into him? There’s no way in hell you’ll ever allow that.
Even if this means directing your father’s anger towards you.
“I’ve been waiting long enough, (y/n).”
His cold voice cuts through the cheerful air and interrupts even Satoru from saying another playful word. All pairs of eyes are suddenly set on you.
Those of your father included.
“Why didn’t I hear from my daughter those past weeks, huh?”
The blood in your veins freezes immediately, all color draining from your face. This is bad, very very bad. You thought you had more time, one more weeks until you’re due. Your father made it more than clear that he’s expecting a husband from you the next time both of you meet.
And you have to offer nothing but yourself.
“I didn’t make it”, you finally mutter.
“You disappoint me all over again. You’ve had one job, (y/n). Only one job.”
He steps towards you, cold eyes glaring you straight into the ground. No, not in front of your friends, not when Suguru stands right next to you-
But before you’re even able to protest, your father grabs your uniform and yanks you towards him, your feet dangling in the air.
“You useless piece of shit”, he screams on top of his lungs while shaking your, forcing every little bit of air out of your lungs.
“Too dumb to get better than grade 3 and finding a husband who’s a special grade? Maybe I should kill you right here on the spot, huh?”
Your father’s grip on your uniform tightens, his furious eyes darkening. The world starts to blur as you gasp, struggling to breathe, but then-
“Let her go.”
The command is quiet, cold. Suguru steps forward, his face calm but his eyes blazing with a determination that makes your father pause. Suguru's hand is on your father’s arm in a flash, prying his fingers off you with a force that leaves no room for resistance.
“What do you think you’re doing?”, your father hisses, venom lacing his words.
Suguru's gaze doesn’t waver.
"If you’re so insistent on a husband for her, then you’ll have one. I’ll marry her. I’m the special grade you’re asking for."
A hush falls over the room, even Satoru, who usually has a comment for everything, is left speechless. The weight of Suguru’s words hangs heavy in the air, settling over you with a mix of relief and fear. This isn’t what you wanted for him. This isn’t what he deserves. But no word of protest escapes your lips, not when your father’s eyes still linger over you dreadfully. What a coward you are, ruining Suguru’s life to safe your own.
After what feels like forever, your father scoffs, but there’s a glimmer of approval in his gaze. Of course, he’s aware of Suguru Geto’s status, the boy who isn’t part of the big jujutsu sorcerer families but still holds breath-taking skills. A pretty good match, a promise to the future.
“Fine,” he sneers.
“But if I see her slipping, she’ll answer to me.”
With that, he storms away, leaving silence and a chill in his wake.
You don’t even dare to look at Suguru, embarrassment now swallowing you whole. This can’t be true, has to be one of your countless nightmares. Your father basically forcing Suguru to marry you while you stand next to him, doing nothing but watching?
“Hey, are you alright?”, he questions before gently placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You…You don’t have to do this. I need to find another way-“
“By marrying another special grade sorcerer? You know that Satoru and I are your only options here at jujutsu high? I can allow him to hurt you.”
“I…I just need to get stronger”, you press out.
“You need to accept my help. Please, let me do this for you. I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt by your father.”
“But that means marrying me. That means marrying into that family, that you won’t be able to leave. I…I can’t ask for something like this. We can’t do this.”
You feel like throwing up any given minute, the sudden wave of emotions making you feel dizzy. What are you supposed to do? Why didn’t you try harder? There has to be a way out of this, a way to avoid ruining Suguru’s life together with yours.
But to be honest, your head is empty. There isn’t a single potential solution you didn’t think through already, no way out you didn’t try over those past weeks.
You are too weak to meet your father’s standards on your own and Suguru is the only way for this arranged marriage to involve someone decent. What if your father decides to find a husband for you?
A dry cough escapes your lips while you try to stop yourself from puking.
Is marrying Suguru really the only way?
-after the ceremony-
The evening is still, blanketed in a quiet Suguru and you can feel as the last traces of daylight fade from the sky. Soft candlelight fills the room, casting a gentle, muted glow on the walls - a stark contrast to the earlier chaos of the ceremony. Despite the festivities, the muted joy, and the unspoken words from family and friends, the reality of this arrangement sits heavy in your chest, and a kind of emptiness clings to you like your skin.
Suguru stands across from you, his tall frame outlined by the flickering light. He looks so calm, so composed, as he usually does, but the gentleness in his eyes now holds something deeper, something unreadable. He’s here, bound to you, tied to the Zenin family and all of its darkness and expectations, and it’s a thought that makes your stomach twist with guilt.
You can barely look at him as he steps closer, and the silence stretches, each heartbeat a drumbeat of regret echoing in your mind. How you could let things get this far, why did your weakness led you to this night where Suguru is forced to bear a burden that should have never been his? And all of this while he looks so handsome in that dark blue suit.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” you finally murmur, your voice small, almost inaudible.
The words tremble out of you as a flood of emotions swells within, too much to keep contained. Your voice breaks as you continue.
“Suguru, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t want this for you.”
“(Y/n),” he says softly, reaching out to you, his hand hovering just above your shoulder as if asking permission to comfort you.
You close your eyes, ashamed, willing yourself not to break down, not to let him see just how torn apart you feel. But his hand gently settles on your shoulder, and it’s enough to dissolve whatever flimsy resolve you had left.
A sob escapes before you can stop it, and the weight of everything, your father, the impossible expectations, the years of feeling like not being good enough and now this forced bond, comes crashing down. Your knees start to give way, and you sink to the floor, unable to hold it in anymore.
“I never wanted this for you,” you whisper between shallow breaths, looking down as you feel tears streak down your face.
“You deserve…you deserve someone better, someone who doesn’t drag you into this horrible family, into this endless cycle of cruelty and control. I should have stopped you, I should have trained harder, should have been…better…”
Suguru kneels beside you, one hand gently resting on your back as the other moves to tilt your face up to his. His touch is tender, his gaze unwavering, and he watches you as if you’re the only person in the world who matters.
“I chose this,” he says firmly, his voice steady, a calm assurance anchoring every word.
“(Y/n), you have to understand that I’m here because I want to be here. I’m not doing this because of your father, or even for him. I did this because I couldn’t stand the thought of you suffering any longer. Because I… I’ve wanted to be by your side for a long time.”
The intensity of his words shakes you into a completely different direction. You blink hasty against the coat of tears in your eyes, stunned as his confession begins to sink in. Him…wanting to be by your side for a long time?
“I’ve loved you for years, (y/n),” he continues, his voice softer now, but still steady.
“I don’t know when it started. Maybe it was the way you never gave up, even when everyone seemed to be against you, or maybe it was the way you always cared about others, even if they couldn’t see it. You have this strength that you don’t even realize. And I fell in love with that strength, with your kindness, your resilience. I fell in love with you.”
Suguru’s words hang in the air, filling the quiet with an overwhelming warmth. Your mind races, trying to comprehend what he’s saying, how he could feel that way, how he could possibly think of you with such admiration. Is it a cruel joke, a nightmare, maybe? How could a man like Suguru Geto ever love someone like you? You can’t meet his gaze, your heart pounding, his confession echoing in your mind.
“You…you’re saying that you…”
The words falter, disbelief woven through them. You’ll never be good enough for a man like him. You, the lousiest member of the Zenin clan, a grade 3 sorcerer while he’s a special grade. Him who is popular wherever he goes, who has countless girls secretly keeping up with his tracks while you always lived in the shadows back at jujutsu high.
He…he loves you?
“Yes,” he whispers, his thumb gently brushing a stray tear from your cheek.
“I’ve dreamed of being with you, (y/n). I wished for a future together, one where we could be together without any of this mess, without your father’s interference, without any expectations from anyone but ourselves. I wanted us to grow into that future slowly, to experience life together on our own terms. But maybe fate had something else in mind.”
His words are steady, but there’s a hint of sorrow in them, an echo of the hope for something simpler, something kinder. You can see that he had imagined a different path for the two of you, one free of constraints and family legacies, a journey that would’ve let him show you his love in its purest form.
“But Suguru,” you begin, choking back the tears.
“This family, my family, will try to use you. They’ll see your strength and skill as a means to control, a way to fulfill their ambitions. They’ll tie you to this name, weigh you down with the same expectations they forced on me. The only reason for our marriage is the fact that they expect my future children to fill the void my uselessness left.”
Suguru’s gaze hardens slightly, a flicker of defiance breaking through his usual calm.
“Let them try. I’m not afraid of the Zenin family. I don’t want you to worry about that. And if they think they can manipulate me, they’re wrong.”
His hand finds yours, fingers lacing together with a gentle squeeze.
“I am here because I want to be here. Not because I owe them anything, or because I’m part of their plan, let alone because I pity you. And no matter what they say or do, my loyalty is to you, and you alone.”
A wave of emotion surges up in your chest again, but this time it’s not guilt or shame. It’s relief, gratitude, and a kind of hesitant joy that Suguru’s love is real, not just something forced by circumstance. You gaze down at your entwined hands, gaping at the warmth of his skin, the reassurance in his touch and a new sense of calm fills the room.
“Can you forgive me?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.
“For dragging you into this mess, for… everything?”
Suguru’s hand lifts to cup your face, his fingers tracing your jaw with a softness you never experienced before.
“There’s nothing to forgive. If anything, you gave me a way to protect you, a chance to stand beside you. I can’t think of anything I’d want more.”
Slowly, he leans forward, his forehead resting gently against yours, and you close your eyes, feeling the weight of his presence, the steady rhythm of his breathing matching your own. The world outside slowly but surely fades away, leaving only the two of you, together in this fragile, newfound peace.
“(Y/n),” he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin.
“Let’s make this ours. This life, this future… we can shape it however we want. Let’s find happiness on our terms, not theirs.”
Tears spill over again, but this time, they’re different - softer, lighter, filled with joy instead of dread. It’s as if Suguru’s words have lifted something from you, a burden that you’d carried for too long. For the first time, you allow yourself to imagine a future without fear, a future where you and Suguru can build something beautiful together.
You nod slowly, still overwhelmed, but there’s a quiet strength blooming inside you, the beginnings of hope.
“I’d like that,” you whisper.
“I’d like that a lot.”
Suguru’s arms wrap around you ever so gently, pulling you close, his embrace steady and unwavering. You allow yourself to relax against him, finally surrendering to the comfort he offers, allowing yourself to feel safe in his arms. Oh, it feels so much better than it did those countless times in you imagination. Not even in your dreams, you allowed yourself the dangerous thought of being by his side. And now? Now this man is your husband, not because he has to, but because he wanted to.
Minutes pass, the silence comfortable, his fingers gently running through your hair as he holds you. Finally, you pull back slightly, meeting his gaze, and you can’t help but notice the faint smile on his lips - a smile that seems to hold promises, a shared understanding that goes beyond words.
“We’ll take this one step at a time,” he says. We’ll face whatever comes our way together. I don’t care what your father or the Zenin clan throws at us. They don’t define us.”
You nod, a faint smile breaking through the lingering sadness.
“I think I’m starting to believe that too…Maybe.”
Suguru’s smile widens, and he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment before he pulls back.
“We’ll make it work,” he assures you, his voice a soothing balm to your soul.
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𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲
(human!Alastor x f!reader drabble)
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Some poetic and reminiscing thoughts from (human) Alastor about his darling-doe. This is unlike anything I've written before. Honestly, I’m not even sure what this is. I wrote it a while ago when I was severely sleep-deprived.
I know he's no longer human in this, but he's telling us about a time when he still was. That's why I tagged it as human!Alastor.
CW: Possessive thoughts, mention of murder and manipulation
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
I remember the day I first saw you so clearly as if it didn’t happen almost a hundred years ago – back then, when we were still human, nothing but mere people made of flesh and bone, born to live, and living to die. Oh, what a beautiful sight you were, so beautiful – the most beautiful creature of them all. Not only your face resembled the image of a goddess, but your soul shone so bright it made even the darkest of times turn day. You were a true angel sent from heaven, a kind soul and oh so fragile. Glancing into those beautiful doe eyes of yours made me want to ruin you. To take you with me, poison your every being and make you mine – and mine only.
It feels as if it was yesterday that you introduced yourself to me. That radiant smile on your lips, those long lashes framing those shining eyes like they’re the most valuable painting in this world, and I've lost myself in you. You made me feel things I’ve never felt before. Things, I didn’t even consider I was able to feel – because I never felt them before. I've heard those tales. Even read those tales about unconditional love. About how the heartbeat increases whenever you’re close to the one you desire. About how much you crave their touch, their voice, their love – completely and utterly devoted to the one person in this world. One out of billions of people. But I never dared to think I would ever feel the same. Did I feel the same? I was obsessed with you; wanted to possess you in every way possible. And when those full lips of yours parted and your angelic voice entered my ears for the first time, you already had it all. And I knew I wanted you to be mine – and mine only.
Were you fascinated by me? Oh, you were. I saw it on your face. In the tiniest details that betrayed your overly polite expression that you so strongly tried to keep professional. I saw that you were intrigued the very moment you laid your eyes on me. It was like fate had sent you to me. Like my mother in heaven twisted all the odds in my favor, just so I could meet you. Oh, the way you smiled at me. The way you looked at me. How your voice slightly raised when you spoke directly to me. It made my heart flutter and it filled me with an emotion I never thought to ever be able to feel my whole life. And I wanted you to be mine – and mine only.
We met again, after that night. More often than appropriate. In parks, at the bank of the Mississippi, at professional events and at a restaurant I so carefully chose. One that I knew would only serve the best of New Orleans’ cuisine. To make you acquainted with my home and my culture. To prepare you to be on my side. I saw you once, I saw you twice. I saw you an umpteenth times. And yet I was waiting for the perfect moment to ruin you – to make you mine – and mine only.
Were you as corrupted as I? Were you – beside your angel-like nature – capable to make the change, to become one like me, and sacrifice your very being to the darkness of twisted human nature? The desire to kill, the desire to hunt with you grew with every passing day. Day to day I've been waiting for the moment. For the perfect opportunity to make you see my true nature. To make you see my grim twisted morality, to make you see my darkest of secrets, to make you accept it with a smile, to make you succumb to your own darkness, to make you fall, to make you mine – and mine only.
The night we first shared a kiss felt like a dream. An oh so beautiful, yet so tragic dream – because I knew that once your lips touched mine, everything between us would change forever. I remember how you stood before me, much like the day we met, though that angelic smile of yours was replaced by a warmth that exceeded every ounce of adoration you gifted to me before. And then you leaned in, and we kissed. That feeling of your soft lips against mine wasn’t anything like I imagined before. It was so much more, an overwhelming explosion of fireworks. Oh, the hunger that roared on my inside, the need to pull you closer and take everything of you – in this very moment – was unbearable. But I waited. Because at this moment I already knew you were mine – and mine only.
Oh, you were my darling.
My darling-doe.
My angel.
My everything.
And now, I will make you fall.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
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“Of course,” he whispered back, pressing a kiss to your thigh and lifting his head with a smile. The darkness had left his eyes. How long until it returned? “Thank you for calming me down.” “Of course,” you echoed because what else could you do?
Truly 🥲
His brows pinched a little as his hands gently framed your cheeks. “Kotyonok, why do you sound so upset?” He asked, his thumbs moving in a soothing motion as you took a deep breath. “Wait, are you scared that I’d be mad at you?” “I… I don’t know,” you said. You didn’t necessarily think he’d be upset with you, but after his mood swings at lunch and everything else so far you weren't sure what to expect. “I just don't know.”
He is so erratic, it's hard to tell anything at all 🥴
“I appreciate you telling me, but you have nothing to worry about. Just have a good rest of the day.” With a kiss to the corner of your mouth, he whispered, “I’ll be thinking of you until I see you again.”
I'm sure he is 🥲
She clapped her hands. “Oh, that’s wonderful! And don’t you dare be modest. Let him spoil you.” “I have a feeling he’ll spoil me even if I don't ask him to,” you said. Your whole experience with Bucky was whether you wanted it or not, so why would he stop now?
🥴😬🫣
He held your arm when you tried to get out. “You express yourself through Acts of Service with loving gestures and helping with tasks, but what you crave is Quality Time because you value meaningful interactions and connecting with people on a more personal level.” You nodded slowly. It was why you loved hanging out with your girlfriends. You cherished making memories with them.
Which is very natural and reasonable, if you choose these times yourself 🙈
“Right. Not for our first time.” He tipped his head back as he took a breath, no doubt trying to control himself. “Just one more kiss, Kotyonok. One more for me to dream about tonight,” he groaned, bringing his face back to yours for one more kiss with fervor. Just when you thought it would turn more ravenous, he shifted to something soft, tender. A feeling that had both of you shaking when it ended, but likely for different reasons.
Very different reasons 🥴
“It doesn't matter, but if you really want to see and hear me, please, pay attention,” you said, yanking your arm away. “I want to go home.” “Why? Is it because that kiss meant something to you and you don't want to admit it?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “If you're embarrassed that it made you wet, don't be. I'm flattered. Besides, it got me hard.”
Geez Barnes just listen to her 🤦🏻♀️
Heat filled your cheeks and you wanted to smack him. There was a fine line between the delusion he had in his head and the reality of the situation. The tightrope you were walking was close to snapping. “I’m not embarrassed. I can't breathe.” You stepped back, trying to give yourself space. Was Ray watching from the car? “Everything in my life recently has revolved around you or you being there. Say what you want about me being lonely, it doesn't give you an excuse to take over.”
I beg you, please smack some sense into him!
Bucky’s smile slipped, like he was really seeing how bothered you were. “I told you I just want to love you. And you enjoy Quality Time.” “Quality Time when we agree upon it. And love itself should be the thing to take my breath away, not you smothering me,” you gently stated.
This!!!
“I’m not trying to smother you.” He shifted like he was the one uncomfortable, his gaze flicking to the ground. “I… I know you can't breathe,” he said, lifting a hand as if to reach out before he dropped it and took a deep breath. “That’s why I'm leaving you alone tomorrow,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You're what?” You asked in disbelief, catching the hint of vulnerability in his eyes as his shoulders dropped. He hadn't left you alone since he broke in. Why in the world would he stop now? “I was going to bring it up when I dropped you off.” His hand worked its way through his hair. “I’ve been thinking about it and talking and… I’m smothering you. I know I am. Rearranging your schedule, making you meet my friends, and everything else. So…” He reached for you this time and took your hand. “I’m giving you a breather and I’m not going to be around tomorrow. No surprise visits. No calls. Maybe a text, but nothing more.”
Good god it's so up and down with him, im gonna get whiplash 🥴
You blinked. “So, we won't see each other tomorrow?” You tried not to get too excited. It was only a day, but between that and the girls day that was still something. You had to go the cautiously optimistic route again and take what you got.
She's better than me, I would have done a happy dance or something lol
“That’s my girl.” He turned and paused at the door with a smile. “Can I at least help you try on the dress? Or you can model it for me and I'll tell you how beautiful you are.” You smiled back a little. “Don't push your luck,”
For real 😒
Hold You Tight: Part 12
Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 11 | Series Masterlist | Part 13
Chapter Word Count: Over 4.7k
Chapter Summary: Bucky gets under your skin when he takes you shopping.
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, dirty talk, mild dubcon (kissing, touching), tension, unease, possessiveness, inner turmoil, gaslighting, manipulation, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight and hope you enjoy! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
You weren’t sure how much time passed with Bucky’s head resting in your lap, your fingers absentmindedly moving through his hair. While his body relaxed, you remained rigid. You tried to think of positive things. Your upcoming trip to the winery, Addison’s wedding. The images in your mind darkened though as if a cloud loomed over them. In a way, it did because you didn’t know what Bucky had planned for those events. Because even if Bucky really let you go to the winery alone, someone would be watching.
You forced the cloud in your mind to lift. Things could still be positive. You could still have a good day and have the best time with your friends.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get back to work,” you whispered.
“Of course,” he whispered back, pressing a kiss to your thigh and lifting his head with a smile. The darkness had left his eyes. How long until it returned? “Thank you for calming me down.”
“Of course,” you echoed because what else could you do?
Brushing his pants off once he got to his feet, he helped you up and didn’t let go of your hand. You didn’t attempt to pull away. He made sure to grab the money you left on the table before he paid the server and you tried to give the poor guy a smile when you thanked him. You just wanted to get on with your day.
As Bucky led you out of the cafe and back to the shop, you caught Ray’s gaze as he stood by the car and waited for his boss. Whatever concern he showed for you faded when he blinked. How did he deal with this life? Would he ever walk away from it?
“I’ll pick you up after work then?” Bucky asked.
“Sure,” you said. You didn’t tell him when your shift ended, but he knew, didn’t he? “Thanks for lunch.”
“It was my pleasure, but one more thing.” Bucky stopped you before you could enter the shop. “This regular customer you mentioned earlier. How often does he stop in?”
He asked as if he had no idea and maybe he didn’t in this case. That assumption didn’t ease your worries. “Once a month,” you said, your stomach turning slightly. “Listen, the roses he tried to give to me, I gave them to him first. They were his usual order and I thought it would be nice gesture and I was just-”
His brows pinched a little as his hands gently framed your cheeks. “Kotyonok, why do you sound so upset?” He asked, his thumbs moving in a soothing motion as you took a deep breath. “Wait, are you scared that I’d be mad at you?”
“I… I don’t know,” you said. You didn’t necessarily think he’d be upset with you, but after his mood swings at lunch and everything else so far you weren't sure what to expect. “I just don't know.”
“No, no, no, I’m not mad at you. Why would I be mad that you were kind to another person? That’s one of the things I love about you. It drew me to you,” he assured you. You oddly felt better by his assurance. “I don’t want you to stop doing kind things for others because you’re worried it might upset me.”
“So, it doesn’t upset you?”
“You being you would never upset me,” he smiled. He had said more than once that he loved you as a person, so maybe he was telling the truth. “A man trying to give flowers to you while going through a break-up is, at the very least, a little strange.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” you said, not wanting to admit that he had a point and that you were slightly put off when Clark tried to give the roses to you.
“I’m also well aware that you don’t hit on any guy who comes into your shop, so I wouldn’t view any act of kindness to a customer as trying to get their attention.”
“That’s true,” you agreed. Even Ray had pointed out to you that you didn’t give guys in the shop the time of day. Why would you when most of them were buying flowers for someone else? “But I just wanted you to know.”
“I appreciate you telling me, but you have nothing to worry about. Just have a good rest of the day.” With a kiss to the corner of your mouth, he whispered, “I’ll be thinking of you until I see you again.”
You weren’t sure why your heart fluttered. Relief that Bucky reacted calmly to what you said? You didn’t dwell on it as he held the door open and smiled after you as you went back into the shop. It was time to concentrate on work again.
Mrs. Crandle smiled and waved to Bucky through the door. “Oh, he is a looker,” she winked. “How was lunch, dear?”
“The food was good and Bucky and I got to talk a bit, which was… nice,” you answered, glancing around the shop and wondering if the place was bugged, too. Could he get access to the shop? Letting you continue to work seemed too good to be true, but he’d have nothing to worry about if he had eyes and ears there, too. “He’s taking me shopping tonight.”
She clapped her hands. “Oh, that’s wonderful! And don’t you dare be modest. Let him spoil you.”
“I have a feeling he’ll spoil me even if I don't ask him to,” you said.
Your whole experience with Bucky was whether you wanted it or not, so why would he stop now?
As expected, Bucky arrived back at the shop a few hours later to pick you up. Instead of giving him the chance to go inside and speak to Mrs. Crandle again, you grabbed your bag and rushed out the door to greet him. He caught you easily when you nearly collided with him, and for the first time, you felt like you were intruding in his space instead of the other way around.
“Eager to see me?” He smiled, his voice teasing as he kept a hand on your shoulder and helped you into the vehicle when you didn’t immediately answer. “How was the rest of your shift? I hope no one else bothered you.”
Just you.
“It was uneventful. I got a lot done,” you replied, feeling a warmth spread through you from the normalcy of your afternoon. “And no one bothered me.” Your gaze flickered to him and he was hanging onto your every word. He also looked much more relaxed, like the moodiness at lunch never happened. “How about you? How was your day?”
“Also uneventful. A couple of boring calls. Kept thinking about you though and it got me through the day,” he said, slipping an arm around you as the car door closed. The way you two were speaking to each other sounded almost normal. Checking in on each other, seeing how the other was doing. “Steve asked about that double date.”
“I’m sure he’s excited for that,” you said, wondering if that poor coat check girl had any idea.
“We both are. You can find a dress for that, too,” he smiled fondly. “In fact, what would you think of me getting you a new wardrobe when you move in? Your style, your choice on everything. You name it.”
You raised an eyebrow, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty washing over you. “Is there something wrong with my current wardrobe?” You hadn’t done anything to deserve a whole new set of clothes and you hoped he wasn’t suggesting it to mold you more to his liking.
“Nothing wrong with it at all. You have great taste and I just want to spoil you,” he said, running a finger down your side. This was the man who let you go into his exclusive club wearing a dressed down outfit simply because it was you, so he’d probably let you get away with any sort of wardrobe you wanted. “Do you know how ravishing you look right now?”
“I’m not ravishing. I’m in my work clothes,” you muttered.
“You are ravishing,” he said, moving his finger back up as you shivered. “We should get some stargazer lilies for your first night in our home. I could strip you down, lay you out on our bed, and brush one of the petals along your skin.”
You inhaled sharply and closed your eyes, trying not to picture him spreading you out on a luxurious bed. He would say something like that when he was right in your space and you had nowhere to go. The man went from zero to sixty in seconds. No doubt he could feel you tremble and knew your heart was racing.
“Bet it’ll feel soft against your nipples,” he whispered, exhaling against your ear. “And your pussy.”
Your next breath was shallow, but you managed not to whimper. “Where are we going shopping?” You asked evenly, hoping to get to the destination sooner rather than later.
You stubbornly kept your eyes shut when he chuckled. “You’re changing the topic because you’re thinking about it, aren’t you? Worried you’ll get your panties soaked before we get to the shop?” He questioned, your heart thudding. You didn’t want to think about it at all. You wanted out of the car so you could properly breathe again. “I’m sorry. I’m not playing nice, am I? We’re going to one of your favorite stores and you can pick out whatever you want.”
You’d no doubt look at the price tags out of habit since you shopped on a budget and bought your nicer pieces on sale. “Do you ever really play nice?” You asked, opening your eyes. “One moment you’re being vulnerable and talking about your family and the next time I see you you’re talking about sleeping with me. I’m shocked the whiplash hasn’t scrambled my brain.”
The image of him destroying the utensil at lunch like it was nothing flashed in your mind for some reason. And him and his gang beating up John. Just how strong was he? Was he a killer?
“Sometimes we’ll talk about something tough or serious and the next it may be something more fun or intimate. That’s part of being in a relationship,” he said. If only it were an authentic relationship. “I want that with you, telling you what’s on my mind and how I feel.”
If he cared about what was on your mind or how you felt, he’d back off and let you have a bit of space. “Relationships are built on mutual respect and trust,” you said. Did he not see that the mutual respect wasn't there since he pushed for things to be his way? And trust was something he couldn't force no matter how powerful he was.
“I understand that. You also said a first date was getting to know each other and seeing if there's a mutual connection. I'm opening up to you, letting you get to know me. I’m getting to know you, too, beyond the things I knew in advance,” he said. What was he learning about you that he didn’t already know? “And you can't tell me you don't feel something for me.”
“Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear, Bucky? That I want you and want to be with you?” You asked. Even if you did develop feelings for him, it would have to be classified as some form of stockholm syndrome. And even then, strong feelings wouldn’t be enough. He wanted everything from you. “That I don’t want anyone else?”
The hand along your side crept up to your neck, tension heightening when he gently squeezed. He loved putting his hand around your throat. “You do want me, you do want to be with me, you’ll never want anyone else once I have you and I know you love how much I want you,” he spoke with confidence, like he could make the words come true as you took your next breath. “Should I check your panties before we go inside and feel how wet they are?”
You needed to distract him. Fight him. Do something. “What’s your love language?” You blurted out. “Physical Touch?”
“What?” He whispered, your heart still pounding when he slowly moved his hand away from your throat.
“Your love language. You constantly touch me when I’m close to you, so I guessed Physical Touch,” you explained. He always had a hand on you.
He sat back with a pensive look. “No one has ever asked me that.”
“Oh,” you said as the car rolled to a stop. You blindly reached for the door handle. “Well, it’s something to think about if you don’t know.”
He held your arm when you tried to get out. “You express yourself through Acts of Service with loving gestures and helping with tasks, but what you crave is Quality Time because you value meaningful interactions and connecting with people on a more personal level.”
You nodded slowly. It was why you loved hanging out with your girlfriends. You cherished making memories with them.
“You also appreciate Words of Affirmation, even if compliments make you feel uncertain because you sometimes feel overlooked. The combination of those languages makes you feel seen and heard,” he continued, giving you a tender smile. “I can hear and see you if you let me.”
You found yourself unable to speak as he gauged your reaction, your throat tight as if gripped by an unseen force. He nailed it right on the head about your love languages, didn't he? “I need air,” you whispered, letting yourself out of the car once he let you go.
The tightness in your throat moved to your heart. Bucky saw and heard you in his own way, didn't he? Not just as a passing thought but because he genuinely believed he loved you, deeply and wholeheartedly. The more he sank his fangs in, the more venom he injected. You had to be your own antidote.
With a shake of your head, you glanced up at the shop. True to his word, it was one you loved. Another piece of yourself that would now be tied to him.
You jumped when Bucky appeared beside you and took your arm. “You okay?” He asked, studying your face with gentle eyes.
“Just fine,” you replied, smiling for his sake. “Let's go shopping.”
You walked into the boutique together, the air filled with a subtle mix of lavender and something sweet that made you feel right at home. The space was a blend of trendy and rustic, exuding charm and intimacy. Clothes lined the wooden shelves and vintage racks, showcasing a variety of styles that ranged from casual to bold. Delicate accessories sparkled in the soft light, inviting you to explore.
You could easily find the perfect dress for the winery here.
“Hello! Welcome to… Oh! Mr. Barnes,” the associate smiled, her heels clicking on the floor. She was a picture perfect example of style and beauty. “I have the back dressing room set up and I’ll be sure no one disturbs you or your girlfriend. It was sundresses you requested, correct?”
Bucky looked proud of himself. “Yes, the perfect sundress for my girl,” he smiled, his blue eyes sparkling as he looked at you. “And whatever dress you choose, you’ll need jewelry. Oh, and a clutch.”
“Girlfriend?” You asked. He must not have wanted a repeat of how the hostess treated the two of you at lunch. “Wait, you already have dresses selected for me to try on?”
“He called and gave us all the details. And we’ll make sure you have everything you need,” the associate promised as Bucky nudged you ahead of him to follow her. Was anyone else in the shop? “Would either of you like a water?”
“No thank you,” you said. You were never offered a water when you shopped there before, but you were never there with Bucky Barnes.
“Just let me know if you need anything at all,” she smiled, opening the dressing room door.
Bucky thanked her as he took a seat in one of the chairs across from the door, watching you expectantly. “If you don't like any of them, we can go somewhere else.”
“I’m sure they're fine,” you said, going into the room and shutting the door before he could say anything else.
Quickly slipping off your shoes, pants, and top, you turned your attention to a small rack with a range of sundresses. Checking each tag as you pushed through them, none of them on sale, it wasn't a surprise that they were all your size. And all something you'd consider wearing. After flipping through the dresses twice, you decided to try on a sleeveless white dress with small rosebuds. It would be nice for a vineyard.
Before you could put the dress on, the door opened. “Need any help?” Bucky asked as you spun around in your bra and underwear, his eyes slowly scanning your body before you had a chance to cover yourself.
“No. I…” you trailed off as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him.
He stared at you for what felt like an eternity before he breathed your name, want written all over his face. The dressing room felt small. Hot. You could hardly breathe as panic threatened to overwhelm you. And you couldn't do anything but step back as he stepped closer, a predator ready to capture his prey.
Your back hit the mirror when he brought a hand to your chin, your knees shaking as he leaned in. “You’re right about one thing,” he said in a husky tone. “I do crave Physical Touch. Yours.”
He pressed his lips to yours, keeping you still and giving you no chance to turn your head away. It was a light, feathering sort of kiss before his tongue flicked out to trace your lips. He teased you until you opened up for him and allowed his tongue to sweep into your mouth. You couldn't think as he groaned and continued his claim. It was only a matter of time until he claimed you completely.
Bucky pulled away a little, his free hand moving down your torso in a possessive path. “Fuck, you taste so sweet,” he rasped. You felt so small, your insides both frozen and melting from his touch. “Just wanna take you home and make you ride my face before I fuck you.”
You gasped when his knee moved between your legs, your hands flying up to hold his arms. He rocked his leg and you felt power in the motion, a promise of what was to come once he had you where he wanted you. “Bucky,” you whispered. The next word out of your mouth was smothered by his lips, but he didn't increase the urgency in his kisses. He took his time. Like the world could be burning around you and he’d let the flames take over as long as he was kissing you.
You bit back a whimper when he rocked his knee harder, the friction sending heat to your core. Another roll of his body and you were certain you felt the outline of his cock. Bringing a hand to his chest, you lightly pushed. It was already going too far. To your surprise, he broke the kiss. His eyes were still hungry though. “You said you want to hear me?” You asked breathlessly, your lip trembling when his thumb brushed it. “Then not here, please,” you whispered, praying he'd stop.
If he was going to have you, it wouldn't be in a dressing room.
“Right. Not for our first time.” He tipped his head back as he took a breath, no doubt trying to control himself. “Just one more kiss, Kotyonok. One more for me to dream about tonight,” he groaned, bringing his face back to yours for one more kiss with fervor. Just when you thought it would turn more ravenous, he shifted to something soft, tender. A feeling that had both of you shaking when it ended, but likely for different reasons.
You stayed upright when he stepped back and gave you space, but your legs still shook as he straightened up his clothes and looked you over once more. If he could devour you with a look... “Thank you.” He actually listened to you and didn't push it any further.
He glanced down as he adjusted his pants and you tried to avoid looking at the tent he began to sport. Horror filled you when your gaze went lower to the wet spot by his knee. He hadn't gotten you off, but you both knew he sparked some arousal within you. “Can’t wait ‘til you really make a mess on my pants,” he smirked, walking out just as quietly as he entered the tiny room.
Fighting back tears once he shut the door, you touched your lips. Bucky finally kissed you. Your mouth still tingled. You still felt him there.
Glancing at the rack of dresses, you wished he really was a sweet boyfriend trying to spoil you just because he could. But he hadn't given you a chance to pick them out yourself. He spoke for you, like you were a doll. It was just another piece he put in place for his twisted puzzle of your relationship.
What was wrong with you?
You pulled your clothes back on and flung the door open so hard it almost hit the wall. Bucky’s smug look immediately changed to concern when you walked out holding a sundress. “This one's fine,” you said in a flat tone.
“Are you sure?” He asked, sitting up more in his chair. “You didn't try it on, did you?”
“It’s the one I want,” you said, calling for the associate before Bucky had a chance to argue. You gave her a stiff smile when she joined you and handed over the garment, feeling Bucky’s eyes on you. “Whatever jewelry and handbag you think will go with this, I’ll take it. I trust your judgment.”
“Oh, this dress is lovely and we have the perfect accessories for this. Would you like to look at shoes as well? Or maybe something to go with any of the other dresses?” She asked, her eyes wide as you brushed past her. “Miss?”
“I’m sorry. I need to step outside,” you said, not wanting to be rude to her.
Bucky called after you, but you ignored him. You were furious with yourself. You let him kiss you and allowed some of his words to get under your skin. He didn't fuck you, but he still won, didn't he? And you were letting him. Just like with everything else.
You took two steps out of the shop before you felt a grip on your arm. “Woah. Slow down,” Bucky said, turning you to face him. “What’s wrong?”
Everything.
“It doesn't matter, but if you really want to see and hear me, please, pay attention,” you said, yanking your arm away. “I want to go home.”
“Why? Is it because that kiss meant something to you and you don't want to admit it?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “If you're embarrassed that it made you wet, don't be. I'm flattered. Besides, it got me hard.”
Heat filled your cheeks and you wanted to smack him. There was a fine line between the delusion he had in his head and the reality of the situation. The tightrope you were walking was close to snapping. “I’m not embarrassed. I can't breathe.” You stepped back, trying to give yourself space. Was Ray watching from the car? “Everything in my life recently has revolved around you or you being there. Say what you want about me being lonely, it doesn't give you an excuse to take over.”
Bucky’s smile slipped, like he was really seeing how bothered you were. “I told you I just want to love you. And you enjoy Quality Time.”
“Quality Time when we agree upon it. And love itself should be the thing to take my breath away, not you smothering me,” you gently stated.
“I’m not trying to smother you.” He shifted like he was the one uncomfortable, his gaze flicking to the ground. “I… I know you can't breathe,” he said, lifting a hand as if to reach out before he dropped it and took a deep breath. “That’s why I'm leaving you alone tomorrow,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“You're what?” You asked in disbelief, catching the hint of vulnerability in his eyes as his shoulders dropped. He hadn't left you alone since he broke in. Why in the world would he stop now?
“I was going to bring it up when I dropped you off.” His hand worked its way through his hair. “I’ve been thinking about it and talking and… I’m smothering you. I know I am. Rearranging your schedule, making you meet my friends, and everything else. So…” He reached for you this time and took your hand. “I’m giving you a breather and I’m not going to be around tomorrow. No surprise visits. No calls. Maybe a text, but nothing more.”
You blinked. “So, we won't see each other tomorrow?” You tried not to get too excited. It was only a day, but between that and the girls day that was still something. You had to go the cautiously optimistic route again and take what you got.
But you also couldn't help but wonder why he was really giving you that space. Did Ray or someone say something to him? Was this another ploy to keep you in line?
“You won't see me. God knows I’ll miss you, but it's just a day, right?” He squeezed your hand. “Maybe you’ll miss me, too.”
“I appreciate you giving me that space,” you said sincerely. He needed that space, too, even if he didn't believe it. “And maybe I will.”
“We won't have to miss each other much longer once we're together in the penthouse,” he said, his tone soft and your heart sinking. “Will you answer one thing: Did that kiss mean something to you?”
You didn't want to answer that. If you denied it, it would be a lie or he’d either see through it or snap. If you confirmed it, it would feed him more hope. You still had to examine your feelings because you were afraid and you couldn't think with him staring at you with those longing eyes.
“It meant something,” you answered, not expanding on what exactly it meant when he exhaled. It wasn't smart to let him decipher it how he wished because he could use it against you later.
He took your breath away once more when he pulled you close and brushed his lips against yours. Just as quickly as he started, he stopped and brushed his nose against yours. Any passerby would think it was a sweet moment between a couple making up from an argument. “Thank you,” he whispered, his thumb moving along the racing pulse in your wrist. “Come back inside, please? Pick out a few things for real and then I’ll take you home so you can relax.”
You remembered that the bugs were still in your apartment, which took some more of your enthusiasm away. But if Bucky was really going to leave you alone tomorrow, you’d have to appreciate the time to yourself. Maybe you could pack a bag and get out of the city even sooner than planned.
It wouldn't hurt to try, right? What was the worst that could happen? Making him freak out over your safety? That could be bad.
“Okay. A few things for real and then home,” you agreed.
“That’s my girl.” He turned and paused at the door with a smile. “Can I at least help you try on the dress? Or you can model it for me and I'll tell you how beautiful you are.”
You smiled back a little. “Don't push your luck,” you said, missing the pair of blue eyes that watched you and Bucky go back into the shop.
So, a little bit of action. 😏 Will it be enough to tide Bucky over? Is he really going to leave you alone for a day? Who was watching you? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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1#-> 💌: a letter has arrived from satoru gojo.
dear y/n.
hii baby! im on my mission today!! i know i told you all about it yesterday but i miss you already!! :( i've been thinking about you since i left. it's starting to become a bit of a problem, not that mind of course! i love when your on my mind :3 but i mean, it's hard to concentrate on anything else when you're on my mind 24/7. you'd think that being the strongest jujutsu sorcerer would make it easier to ignore distractions, but nope. you're the distraction. and i'm okay with that. i don’t know how you do it, how you make me feel so soft? and i'm not talking about the "cool, untouchable, i-have-everything-under-control" satoru gojo that so many know of. no. i’m talking about the version of me that gets weak in the knees when you smile, the version of me that wants to drop all of my missions just to spend a little more time with you. i’m supposed to be this unstoppable force— a walking legend— but here i am, completely lovestruck for you. but i guess that’s just how it goes when someone as incredible as you walks into my life. i don’t mind being out of control for you. i’ve got a lot of important stuff to do (you know, beating the shit out of curses on this looonggg mission and just being super duper cool), but you should know that no matter how busy i am, you’re always at the top of my thoughts. always.
anyways here’s the deal: i'm yours, your mine. completely. i don’t care about the whole “strongest sorcerer” thing when it comes to you. i’m comfortable being around you, i like being me with you. i’ll be waiting for you when i get home, per usual, for the next time i can see that intoxicating smile of yours. until then, just know that you’re always in my heart.
from yours, satoru.
p.s. don’t forget, i’m the one who always has your back. and it's pretty impossible to let my favorite person down. so.. see you soon!!!
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x gn!reader#jjk x gender neutral reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujustu kaisen x you#jjk satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo#love#love notes#love letters#fluffy#fluff#jujustu kaisen fluff#jjk fluff#seraphina's letters ✎
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Rose helping out Jason
Rose sat on the couch in her duplex apartment, her mouth agape in disbelief as she listened to the story of how Jason had died and then been revived. She had always been curious about the details but was hesitant to ask, worried she might be stepping on a landmine. Their relationship was still new, and she wanted to ensure Jason didn’t feel pressured to share anything he wasn’t ready to discuss.
Yet, as he recounted everything he remembered, she could see that, despite the pain of the experience, he didn’t resent reliving it. He seemed to find a certain catharsis in sharing his story, and she felt honored that he chose to open up to her.
Rose (stunned): That's... How you died?
Jason nodded then sighed.
Jason: The craziest part was stepping out of the Lazarus Pit covered in—wait, why do you look mad?
Rose (fixating on one detail): That bitch egg donor sold you out to the Joker to save her own skin?!
Jason (laughing dryly): Yeah, pretty much. She’s not around anymore. She wasn’t exactly the best mom to the bitter end. Honestly, it was stupid of me to even go see her that night.
Rose frowned softly, covering her mouth in disbelief.
Rose (reassuringly): Jace, it’s not your fault you were deceived by someone so terrible. I’m sorry for insulting her, but that infuriates me—along with the fact of your death itself. The whole situation makes me so mad. And my dad? He’s just as bad. Oh my God.
Jason chuckled, rubbing his forehead.
Jason: You’re fine, trust me. It’s crazy to think about dying, but I’ve managed to adjust to this new life pretty well.
Rose (smiling): You really have.
She exhaled, gently rubbing the top of Jason’s hand. He smiled in response.
Rose (holding back her anger): But the Joker is still… alive and walking? Not okay with that.
Jason: That’s a whole different mess. I don’t want to think about him right now; sorry for unloading so much on you.
Rose (smiling softly): It’s fine, I asked. I showed you my missing eye, and in return, you gave me a detailed account of your death. Just so you know, I could take care of him for you since Batman won’t.
Jason chuckled, quickly pressing a kiss to Rose's cheek.
Jason: Nah, his misery is enough for me.
Rose (with a mischievous glint in her eyes): His misery is enough? I like the way you think.
She leaned in closer, kissing him passionately as she pushed him down onto the couch.
Jason (sly smile): That turned you on?
Rose (whispering near his ear): Are you turned on?
Jason (blushing): I definitely am now.
Rose smiled, deepening the kiss as she felt the chemistry between them simmer. With a carefree motion, she tossed aside his shirt and kissed him again, all while her mind began weaving a plot for revenge against the Joker.
---Later that night---
Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke, sat in his prison cell, engrossed in Shawshank Redemption.
Slade (towards the end of the book): Huh, he dug a hole in the wall? Amateur.
He chuckled softly, continuing to read until his phone rang just moments later. Without bothering to check the caller ID, he answered.
Slade: Go for Deathstroke.
Rose (whispering): Death—Sla—Da—Nope… Father, yeah, that works. Father, I have a request that you definitely won’t turn down.
Slade's interest piqued as he continued to read.
Slade: I’m listening.
Rose: The Joker’s in Arkham with you. I want you to beat him to a bloody pulp. He probably won’t die easily, but don’t kill him. Go all out. I’ll bring you muffins when I visit next week.
Slade snapped the book shut, excitement coursing through him as he stood up.
Slade (pumped up): I’d do that regardless of an award! Regardless! You’re not joking about him not dying, either. I saw someone push him off the railing near the stairs and that clown jumped to his feet while laughing. I will smash his face to a pulp regardless! Guard! Bring me my brass knuckles! Code J!
Rose (sighing happily): Thank you.
Slade: No problem, Jeri—Which child are you?
Rose paused, remembering who her father was and that this was just typical of him, even during her time as his loyal brainwashed agent. She mentally noted to bring this up during her 'sucky dad' contest with Raven later.
Rose: It's Rose.
Slade fell silent as he slipped on his brass knuckles.
Rose (pinching the bridge of her nose): I cut my working eye out for you.
Slade: Oh! The one who proved her loyalty to me. Got it… Daughter? Right, Rose is my daughter. Just remember to bring me blueberry muffins on visitors' day.
Rose: You really don’t want to hear the reason behind—
Slade (with a hint of hatred for the Joker in his tone): Rose, regardless!
Rose: Cool, thanks. Loyal to ya.
Slade (with a cocky grin): I know you are.
With that, he abruptly ended the call and strode out of his cell.
Slade: Hey, jester man! Get over here!
---Meanwhile at Rose's house---
Rose ended the call, feeling a sense of satisfaction.
Rose (whispering to herself): Thank God he hasn’t realized I hate his guts. I really am such a good person.
Jason: You done with the call? I’m getting cold in here, come back to bed.
Rose smiled as she let her robe fall to the floor, heading back to her room. She closed the door quietly behind her, keeping her plan to punish the Joker in prison a secret from Jason—at least for now, until the moment felt just right.
#jayrose ship#jayrose#rose wilson#jason x rose#rose x jason#jason and rose#rose and jason#jason todd#red hood#ravager#microfiction#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#batfamily#batman#batfamily chronicles#batfamily shenanigans#headcanon batfamily#batfamily headcanons#batfamily microseries#batfamily fanfiction#script fic#part of my batfamily microseries#batfamily fic#batfamily funny#batfamily fluff#batfamily microfiction#part of my batfamily flash fiction#dc fanfiction#batfamily chronicles flash fiction
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This may be a stupid question, but don’t you think that Aang and Katara living in Air Temple Island is kinda ooc? They’re both such community-driven and family-oriented people that I can’t imagine them carving out an island and living in isolation
Not a stupid question! I agree, especially since they’re both community-oriented AND adventure-oriented! I could see them living in a place where many of their friends and families are, or being entirely nomadic, and Air Temple island is neither. The Water Tribes are the ones who are community-oriented, so I could see Katara wanting to stay in the SWT, but living on Air Temple Island makes no sense for either of them.
Which is, yet again, my beef with Bryke. I think in many ways Ka/taang actually could’ve worked well post-canon, based on what we got in ATLA, but they fumbled the aftermath so badly by making their relationship all about Aang. Katara is the last waterbender in the South Pole, and that was at least theoretically something that could’ve united both of them as victims of imperialist genocide…oh but wait, there are actually more SWT waterbenders, so Katara can dedicate her life to restoring Air Nomad culture instead, how convenient. I’ve ranted before about how Katara totally could’ve been the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, or a Councilmember of Republic City (representing either the SWT or even Air Temple Island), or whatever job that allows her to help a lot of people and maybe get in the occasional fight or two. Any of that would’ve fit very well with Kataang as an endgame ship, because unlike Zuko, Aang doesn’t have to be tied to a specific location. But no! Bryke just had to go and make everything in that relationship revolve around Aang, even when it makes no sense for their characters.
In a way I really don’t envy Ka/taang shippers. I’d have an aneurysm if I was forced to justify things like “my fave got the girl then she changed her whole personality” and “my fave had kids and favoured the one who was like him.” If Bryke had made Zutara canon and then made Katara into an ornamental Fire Lady who never engaged with politics, only did healing, followed the agenda of her husband, and played favourites with her kids, I’d feel like it’s deliberate sabotage lol
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under the stars~ Pope heyward
Wearning: +18,smut, english is not my first language.
You’re standing on a lonely dock, staring at the ocean stretching out in front of you. The full moon casts silver trails across the waves, the water glistening as it laps against the shore. The quiet of the night, with only the sound of the waves and the breeze tousling your hair, creates a magical and intimate atmosphere, and for a moment, you almost forget you’re not alone. Then, you hear footsteps behind you.
“I thought I’d find you here,” Pope says, with that sweet, sincere smile only he can pull off. He joins you and sits down by your side, leaving you momentarily speechless. He’s always been your friend—the one who listens without judging—and you didn’t expect to find him here, not at a time like this.
“You really can’t stay away from this place, can you?” you say, trying to lighten the sudden tension that’s settled between you two. He glances at you quickly, as though he’s searching for something hidden in your words.
“There are a lot of places I’d rather be,” he replies, and his gaze lingers on you a little too long. That silence, the soft light playing across his face and illuminating his eyes, seems to say something neither of you has ever dared to put into words.
You blush, looking down at your hands resting on the rough wooden planks of the dock. “We’ve always been friends, you and I,” you murmur, as if trying to remind both of you of your place in this story, though you’re not sure you really believe it yourself.
“It hasn’t always been enough for me,” he says quietly, his voice so soft that you almost don’t hear him. Then he moves a little closer, and you can feel the warmth of his skin next to yours.
“What are you trying to tell me, Pope?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
He hesitates, but in his eyes, you see a new determination, something you’ve never seen there before. “I’m saying that… every time I see you, every time you talk to me, there’s only one thing I can think about. I can’t help it. I’ve tried, really, but…”
The words hang in the air, and your heart races in your chest. Part of you wants to stop him, to remind him of everything complicated that’s happened among the Pogues, between your life and his. But there’s another part of you that can’t resist wanting to know what it would feel like.
“Pope…” you whisper, as he leans in a little closer.
Then, without any more hesitation, he looks straight into your eyes, and his face moves slowly toward yours. “I can’t keep holding back how I feel,” he murmurs just before his lips brush against yours.
The kiss is gentle, almost hesitant, as if he’s afraid of breaking something fragile between you. But then you feel his hands holding your face, and you realize this is something you’ve both been waiting for far longer than either of you ever wanted to admit.
And in that moment, under the starry sky and the sound of the waves, every thought fades, leaving only the two of you and that perfect moment you’ve both kept hidden inside.
The kiss intensifies, like an explosion held too long, and the whole world around you seems to dissolve. His lips are soft and slow, but there is a growing passion, something deep that leaves you breathless. Feel his hands gliding down your back and holding you with a delicacy but with a determination you had never felt before.
Then, without warning, Pope picks you up with surprising ease. His arms are strong and secure, and you can’t help but let go. In a moment, your legs are tied around his waist, trying to get closer still, as if you were afraid that the moment might vanish.
Your hands get lost in his hair, pulling it gently, as if to hold him there with you. He lets out a slight sigh, and the sound makes you shiver. His mouth moves with a new confidence, a passion that makes you tremble. Each kiss seems deeper, as if he was trying to imprint that moment in every fiber of his being.
Your body is wrapped in its warmth, and even the cold of night seems far away, as if only he could keep you safe. You are lost in that kiss, feeling its breath mixing with yours, the beats of your hearts that accelerate in unison.
Pope pauses for a moment, leaning his forehead against yours as he breathes deeply, almost incredulous of having you there so close. In a low, broken voice she whispers to you: "I don’t know how I have been able to resist you so far."
You smile, your face still glowing, and gently caress his face. "Then stop trying," you whisper to him, not letting go of his gaze.
And so, in that silent night, under the stars and the infinite sky, he lets you go completely to that moment, holding on to him as if it was the only thing that really matters.
You were kissing with a more ardent passion while you tried to raise his shirt and he immediately pulled it out throwing it on the ground and did the same thing with yours. In a moment you undressed and the same thing did with his clothes.
He sat down and pulled you on him while both of you groaned for touching your intimacy
You wanted more and you started rubbing at him while both groan in your mouths.
"You’re so beautiful" he said as you aligned to its length.
Pope sighed as he slowly pushed it all the way in, knowing full well that his cock was too long for one shot.
Pope could only come to you as he saw you grab his dick while you clung to his back and sighed.
"More" you said as you were getting hungry for his dick, he’s satisfied.
When you took all his cock in your pussy you kept it more on his shoulders while you moaned and started to move and bounce making both moans.
"So great... so beautiful" you said whining as Pope sighed for pleasure while increasing his impulses more and more.
Pope gently stroked your side and then dropped his hand on your ass and squeezed it as he took a nipple in your mouth. You began to groan as you moved your hips more and praised his name.
"Pope more" you said moaning and he satisfied you, banging his cock more violently into your pussy making you come.
Pope pulled his mouth off your tit to give it a squeeze and then kiss you while he hammered into you at a steady pace and came inside you.
"Best night of my life" you said and he chuckled nodding and then gently kissed your forehead.
#pope heyward prompt#pope heyward imagine#pope heyward smut#pope heyward x reader#pope heyward#outer banks#outer banks imagine#outer banks rafe#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe cameron smut#jj maybank#jj x kiara#jjk x reader#jjk fanart#jjk#jj maybank smut#jj smut#jjba#jjk gojo#john b imagine#john b routledge#kiara carrera#kiara obx#sarah cameron#sarah j maas#cleo outer banks
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MAFIA X COP
mafia boss!clay beresford x cop!reader
warnings: NSFW / SMUT ; sex tapes ; kidnapping ; (unprotected) PIV sex ; long buildup to the actual sex scene
writers note: this is all fiction and probably won’t happen in real life, im not too educated in the whole mafia stuff so if there are any inconsistencies i am sorry !
You're a detective for the NYPD (new york police department) and you're running an investigation on a robbery - when you realize clay, a very powerful and dangerous man, had done it, you quickly shut down your investigation, not wanting to get involved with him. you're completely oblivious to the fact that clay had already found out every single detail about you the day you joined the force. from your appearance, to your favorite color, to a super top secret sex tape you made in college…
Clay is sitting in his hotel suite, nursing a whiskey as he watches you on top of some scrawny guy. the footage is black and white and shows you bouncing up and down on the boys lap, your back arching at a certain angle that makes your tits look amazing.
Clay sets down his drink once he feels the stirring in his pants. he grabs the phone and dials a number from memory,
“Vinnie, get me y/f/n y/l/n.” he says firmly and quickly. “Get you her…” Vinnie repeats with his thick italian accent,
“how, boss?” He asks, needing more info so he doesn’t screw anything up.
“Just bring her to my suite, as soon as possible. And listen, vinnie… be gentle, yeah?” clay replies, his tone softer than usual.
the next day, as you’re walking briskly to your apartment building, two men emerge from the shadows. one clamps a gloved hand over your mouth, before you can scream, while the other puts a bag over your head.
you get thrown into a van with three other men, the two that had kindapped you and the driver.
The men carefully guide you to sit on the van's bench seat, their grip firm but not painful. One of them speaks in a gruff whisper, “Don't make this harder than it needs to be, Detective. The boss just wants to talk.”
“W-who are you?” you ask, your voice cracking.
“Name’s vinnie, that’s marco and the driver there isn’t important. We’re taking you to clay beresford.” Vinnie grins, as if he had just told you incredible news.
“Beresford…” you repeat, the name familiar on your tongue.
Vinnie chuckles darkly. “That's right, dollface. Beresford. Now, you're gonna come with us nice and quiet, ain't ya? No fuss.”
You sit quietly, leg shaking in … fear? anticipation? just anxiety in general maybe?
They bring you to clays hotel suite discreetly. Vinnie knocks on the door and as expected, clay opens it. “leave us.” he waves off vinnie and marco.
Clay undoes your blindfold and it takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the light, your pupils dilating. “Clay,” you greet him coolly.
“Y/f/n,” he greets with the same cool tone. his gaze travels up and down your body, stopping shortly to take in your heaving chest before continuing down to your hips. “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this.”
“What do you want?” you ask, trying to mask your fear.
Clay steps closer, his hands roaming over your sides “I think you know exactly what i want.” his hand reaches to unbutton the first button on your blouse.
“You want to fuck a detective?” you ask in disbelief.
“It’s more than that, darling.” he murmurs, his finger popping the button open, “I want you to be mine. To be my wife. To carry my name. To bear my children.”
You reach up to redo the button on your blouse. this is crazy. you’re a cop, for gods sake! you can’t just marry a mafia boss. i mean- it goes against everything you believe in! “I can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?” he lets his hands drop to his sides, “last time i checked you weren’t spoken for. No husband, no boyfriend.”
“Just because im single doesn’t mean i can be with you.” You state firmly.
Clay chuckles darkly, “and why not?” He moves closer, slowly sliding his hands around your waist to pull you flush against him. “i can give you everything. money, power, protection, anything you want or need, i have it ready for you.” He murmurs against your lips, leaning in to press his against yours.
You lean up, ready to lose yourself in his lips before backing away. “no, no, i can’t do this.” You rub your temples, frustrated.
“Come on, what’s stopping you?” clay asks, crossing his arms.
“I just can’t.” You furrow your brows, confused as to why this is all happening and how it happened so quickly.
“Your lips say that, but your body says otherwise.” you’re back in the position you were before, with his arms around your waist and bodies pressed together “Can’t you see it? our bodies fit together perfectly, we’re made for each other.” Clay chuckles, exaggerating his words in a playful manner.
You back away again “i- i took an oath to serve and protect-,”
“Fuck oaths. Y/f/n, im telling you that you can have everything in the world if you just say you’ll be mine and you’re thinking about some oath?”
You stay silent, feeling way too many emotions to say anything.
Clay rubs his temples, unsure of how to convince you. “Look, i know this is a lot to take in, but i’ve been fascinated with you since the day you joined the force. I promise you, if you just say yes, you’ll be the happiest woman alive.”
He leans in close, too close, close enough for his lips to touch yours. To his surprise, you don’t pull away. He smiles softly against your lips as your tongues tangle around each other.
You’re both left breathless and panting when you pull away, “you’re a crime boss..” you whisper against his lips. “I’m a businessman.” he corrects you before claiming your lips again and letting his hands wander all over your body.
Clay lifts your leg up to hook on his hip, sliding his hand down to your ass then lifting you up. “Wrap your legs around me, darling.” He murmurs against your lips and you do as he says without thinking twice.
He carries you to the bedroom and lays you down on the king sized bed, one hand on your waist and the other spreading your legs. He starts unbuttoning your blouse eagerly, his lips still pressed against yours.
His lips wander down to your neck, sucking and biting gently. Your blouse is now half open, your tits almost spilling out of your bra.
“Say you’ll be mine, y/f/n.” he murmurs against your lips as his hands slide down your unzip your skirt. “say it.”
You pause for a moment then murmur “I’ll be yours..” against his lips.
Those three words seem to heighten clays desire, his movements become more hungry and less calculated. He slides your skirt down then takes a moment to admire your naked form.
“Holy…” He breathes then presses a kiss to the center of your chest, then your stomach, then just above the waistline of your panties. “a body like yours deserves to be worshipped.” he murmurs then crawls back up to kiss your lips.
You kiss him back hungrily, now starting to undress him. once his dress shirt is open he shrugs it off and reveals a set of toned abs. his hands swiftly unbuckle his belt and slide his pants off. your gaze drifts down his body in appreciation, stopping at his boxers to appreciate the bulge.
“Like what you see?” he smirks then hooks his fingers in your panties, silently asking for permission to tug them down. you nod and he pulls them down your legs then tosses them on the floor, reaching his hand behind your back to undo your bra.
His gaze zeros on your tits, he leans in and presses a kiss or two on your breast before sucking on your nipple gently. He releases it with a soft pop then hooks your legs over his waist.
Clay aligns himself with your entrance then slowly pushes in “stop me if it’s too much,”
You throw your head back on his pillow and moan at the feeling of his length stretching you out.
Clays eyes are shut and his brows are furrowed as he groans, pushing deeper and deeper until his base disappears inside of you.
“Oh god” he moans, stilling inside you for a moment before he starts thrusting slowly “you’re so fucking tight.”
His hands guide your hips, moving them at the same speed as his thrusts at an angle that hits your perfect spot.
“Right there!” you throw your head back, your back arching slightly, signaling that you’re close.
“That’s it, baby, let go.” he smirks and keeps thrusting, gradually getting faster and harder.
You let out a high pitched moan, your legs twitching beneath him as you find your release.
Clay feels your walls clench around him and the feeling is… incredible. “fuck” he moans, “good girl.”
He holds back, determined to make you come again before he does. his fingers slide down between your thighs, rubbing and teasing your clit as he watches you writhe beneath him.
His thumb presses down and rubs your clit in time with his thrusts. His focus solely on your pleasure. “god, you’re gorgeous” his gaze locked on your face as you moan his name.
Clay lifts your hips higher, hooking your legs on his shoulders and thrusting in again, the new position allowing him to hit that perfect button inside you.
You let out a loud moan, biting your lip afterwards.
“That’s it, let me hear you.” he smiles and kisses your lips gently.
Those words make you break, your body shuddering beneath him, your back arching and your eyes rolled back. clay feels your walls clench around him once more and he lets himself let go. “fuck… fuck, FUCK!”
He stills.
Clay pulls slowly pulls out, his sheets now soaked in both of your juices and cum leaking out of your pussy.
He takes a couple of deep breaths then gets up, grabbing some paper towels “let me clean you up” he says softly and start wiping.
Once you’re both somewhat clean, he lies down next to you and pulls you close, “Thank you.” he murmurs against your neck, leaving a soft kiss on the back of it.
“For what?” you smile, amused and a bit confused.
“For agreeing to be mine.” he places another kiss to your neck then settles against the pillow, ready to fall asleep with you in his arms.
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“all i see is the best of you, and all you see is the best of me… and you bring out the best of me” god when is it my time
#this one was my ‘i have plans that i cannot share’ moment#‘i’ve been waiting my whole life for you and I’???#very fluffy idea in my brain rn#jukebox <3
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man i love open endings. the fact that thanks to yuuji there might indeed be the next time sukuna talks about in case some idiot decides to eat a finger again. and we need fics where yuuji is that idiot
#hiding this in the tags but i think jjk and mha kinda conveyed the same concept#i haven’t mentioned it because sukuita always steals 100% of my attention but gojo’s moment was great too! as i said i think gege stayed#true to his characters till the end and i’ve always thought gojo coming back to life was absolute bs not because i didn’t want him back but#because it would completely ruin what was trying to be told through his story. he carried out the destiny he was doomed to carry out and#gege even specified this for us and /why/ it’s going to be different for yuuji#it can also be found in the way gojo and sukuna fought vs yuuji and sukuna#and it’s rly similar to horikoshi’s concept of the new generation reaching out to the villains and trying to understand them & /that/ is#what ‘the greatest hero’ truly means#ok now i’m digressing because gojo was more about himself and the title he was stuck with but it’s all so similar you know#which brings me to my point (finally)#the fact that the villains always ‘loses’ in the end. and i’m thinking that letting them live would be such a risky direction to take bc#it’s so easy to make it either corny or unrealistic. if the whole thing is about succeeding in reaching out then it’s going to happen at the#very last. and realistically it’s going to be too late. they’re going to be too far gone and it sucks but that’s how it is#shoto can discuss soba with touya but he’s still slowly dying. you know#so the best we can hope for is that the battle the villain fought at least leaves a mark and they sure did#something something the bad guy changing the good guy as much as he changed him#so yeah um maybe i am making sense maybe i am not but i woke up this morning and kinda went insane because it dawned on me that yuuji gave#sukuna another chance to life taking himself out of the equation#UGH. CIGARETTE EMOJI#speaking of which i’ve been (im)patiently waiting for olasketches and cruyuu’s reactions#my fave people on tumblr are genuinely the first people i think about after something good happens#my post
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making a two minute animatic for a podcast 99% of my followers have never heard of well that’s just how it goes sometimes
#im alive hello hi can you hear me#the cycle continues#medi bee talking#i’ve never animatic’d anything before in my life this whole process has been a learning disaster#but you know what. it’s actually coming together i think#even though i started it without so much as figuring out what i want the characters to look like#i’ve drawn more humans for this stupid thing than i have in the rest of my entire life#the podcast is dungeons and daddies btw#single-handedly carried me through these past two months#binged all two season and now i’m in ‘waiting for the next episode to come out’ hell#get me out of this office i want to go home and draw‼️#i wasn’t actually sure how serious i was abt this but now i’m like. 80% done somehow?#but i am the master of jinxing myself so let’s see
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what me and armand have in common i resolved to take to the grave a really long time ago but i will say that it’s been freeing as all hell knowing there’s a character out there who’s just Me if i crashed out
#armand#iwtv#armand de nothing!!! you and i are like this 🤞🏽#processing my trauma via fic is always a gamble but holy shit. it’s never been closer to me than it is when writing armand#i’m still set on Not getting heavy with my fics just yet. gotta find my feet. but once i get armand down i think i’ll look forward to it#y’all know my whole Thing is domestic slice of life fluff with a side of depression. now enter devil’s minion from stage right#i’ve been waiting a lifetime for these two#devils minion
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One of the main reasons why I silently freak out so much after talking to people in a group setting is because I listen to them (or at least try to act like I’m listening to them) but the very instant I open my mouth to speak, they start talking to someone else, or someone else talks right fucking over me even though they know I‘m trying to speak. Every. Single. Time.
And it’s not just so-called “neurotypical” people. Oh no. It’s neurodivergent people too. And the neurodivergent people I understand; but they also have to understand that not all of us are fast talkers and some of us need people to be patient or we will never get our information out. My brain-to-mouth processing speeds are extremely extremely slow and I cannot talk quickly to save my life unless I am reciting something I already have memorized. If someone cuts me off in any way before I am finished, my brain gets stuck in a buffering mode for three seconds at the very least, and more if they continue to cut me off when I’m trying to communicate “No that’s not the end of what I’m saying and that’s not what I even meant by that. Stop making hasty generalizations about a point you haven’t even heard through yet.”
But no matter who I am talking to, right before I am able to finish my extremely well-thought-out point that I’ve been formulating in my head for months or years prior in the mirror, I always, without fail get cut off because everyone gets impatient with my long pauses and doesn’t even want to attempt to listen to what I have to say because they think what they’re about to say in reaction is more important. And it’s not like I’m taking over the conversation or talking more than I listen; I’m just taking more time than they are comfortable with to say a typical amount of words.
And then those same people always tell me, in a somewhat patronizing tone, “You’re so quiet! You’re such a good listener!” Yes because that’s what you’ve made me. Why should I talk to you if you won’t fucking listen to me for three seconds. And no, after a certain point I stopped listening to you because why should I listen to you if you don’t ever listen to me?
Everyone’s nice to me and says they want me there at their social functions but they still subtly exclude me. God damn.
I suppose they want to look at me, or perhaps inhale my aroma. Like I’m a house plant.
#Not to bitch but I’ve been cut off my whole life but never quite as blatantly as today#And I’m not even mad at the person for doing it because I understand why they’re doing it#I’m just like them. I’d love to talk people’s ears clean off and make their eyes glaze over from talking too much and too fast#that is precisely the kind of personality that I have#but my brain works in blue whale time and theirs works in fruit fly time#So I’m no match for their speed#Again: I’m not mad at THEM. I’m just bitter and tired from everyone always misinterpreting me#and this specific incident (to no fault of my conversational partner) just sent me over the edge#because I’m trying my hardest to keep up with everyone’s speed and it never works#And now to have what always happens to me happen at about twenty times the intensity it usually does#Like holy shit#So if you ever find yourself wondering why I’m so obnoxiously verbose here on Tumblr… reference this post#I’m like if Data from Star Trek had the processing speed of a Dell laptop from 2002#I want to talk that much. I can talk that much… IF YOU WAIT TWO GODDAMN SECONDS
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listening to music but only in snippets like i will replay a song and immediately skip to my fav part
#roadkill by the 1975 whwn he goes i’ve been waiting for you my whole life#that’s the best part of the song and i’ll play it over and over again!#i should clip it so i can loop it
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MY LIFE IS NOT REAL WHAT IS GOING ON
#GUYS#so for context before i get into the storytime i currently live at home with my mom and brother#and my mom came into my room at like 10:30 and said ‘i need you to go downstairs and be the adult right now because i can’t deal with this’#(my mom is 54 and i’m 20 but sure i’ll be the adult???)#so basically. my brother (13) gave our fucking address to some random person on discord who claims to be 11 but who the fuck knows#keep in mind my brother was born in 2011 so he’s grown up with the internet his whole life#and he’s been told countless times by my entire family not to give out personal information online but he has done it multiple times#anyway he says he and his friends from school have been talking to this ‘kid’ on discord for like a year#and none of them know him irl bc he lives in rhode island or something but they’ve apparently been on video calls with him and seen his face#so there’s a good chance he actually is a kid but i personally don’t trust anything online anymore so i’m not totally convinced#but anyway he apparently sent my brother what looked like a youtube link but when he clicked on it it gave this kid his ip address#i have no idea how that shit works or if that’s possible but that’s what he’s saying#and then my brother was arguing with this kid bc i guess he’s racist?? and the kid was like ‘just remember i have your address’#and my brother is being super vague about everything but i guess the kid implied he was going to send a swat team to our house or some shit#so my brother freaked out and called the cops and since my mom wanted me to be the adult i had to go sit downstairs and wait for them#and let me tell you it was so fucking embarrassing standing there while my brother told the cop this insane story#and while my brother was inside getting his phone the cop asked me ‘so what’s the deal do you think this is legit or just kids talking shit’#like bro don’t ask me i have no idea what the fuck is going on and i’m so sorry you had to come to our house to deal with this 😭#anyway he’s going to file a report so if the cops get a call anytime soon about a murder or something happening at our house—#—they’ll call me or my mom to ask what’s going on and make sure it’s not this fucking kid from rhode island swatting us#so that was my night! what the fuck#i’ve never regretted moving back home more than i do right now#lj.txt
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