#‘i will not delete this until i find this person’
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hiii, idk if ur still active but I love ur writing and I was wondering if u could maybe do a james smut with a Christmas theme! tyyy💓
Merry Christmas, I miss you
james potter x f!reader
summary: you and James have been broken up since Halloween. Until he calls you on Christmas Day after finding out that you both were spending the evening alone. (muggle+modern day au)
warnings: use of y/n, reader is shorter than James, swearing, smut (MDNI!), afab reader, nipple sucking, oral/fingering (f receiving), praise!!!, penetration, multiple orgasms(2), slight dom!james, reader has hair long enough to be stroked, kind of make-up sex tbh, unprotected + use of the pill, creampie, not proofread at all 😭
a/n: thank you so so much for requesting! I immediately thought of this song, hope you like it <3
You hated spending Christmas alone.
When your family was getting plane tickets two months ago, you said you’d spend Christmas with James, who also cancelled his plans with his family, just for him to break up with you two weeks later.
There was no one you could spend the end of year holidays with, all of your friends were with their families or together.
James absolutely hated the silence in his apartment.
Sirius and Remus were spending the holiday together at cabin they found online and Peter had gone home to his family.
James hated having brought this upon himself.
Were you with somebody else out there? Were you meeting their family? Were they in your apartment?
It was killing him.
What he hated most of all was breaking up with you during a stupid fight which he didn’t even remember the reason why it happened. He just remembers being drunk and stupid.
So he called Sirius, because that was what he usually did when things went to shit, and also because Sirius was close to you and he would probably know what James had been asking himself for the past hour.
The phone rang about six times until he finally picked up.
“What do you want?”
“What do you think y/n is doing right now?” He heard Sirius groan.
“Why do you care about what she’s doing?” James didn’t answer. “She’s alone at her place, don’t call her.”
“You think I should call her?” He decided to ignore any advice that went against whatever he wanted.
“God, he’s so fucking confusing.” he heard Remus say.
“Moony, do you think I should call her?”
“James, you’re going to do whatever you want, aren’t you?”
“Always, but that’s not the point.”
“Do what your heart says and leave us alone pleeeeaseee!” Sirius said and hung up.
James dialed your number on his phone, he memorized it so there was no real meaning to why he deleted it a while ago.
When you read the name on your phone’s screen once it started vibrating you thought you’d faint.
You wished that he had butt dialed you, or that maybe he called the wrong person. You knew you were wrong.
“James?” You said as you picked up and paused the TV in front of you.
“y/n. Hi, merry Christmas.” He sat up straight on the couch. “What are you doing?”
You couldn’t believe him.
“What?” You asked, even though you heard him clearly the first time.
“What are you doing tonight?”
So he was booty calling you on Christmas, was that it?
“I’m currently watching every single sitcom Christmas episode I can think of. You?”
“I’ve been staring at the ceiling for the past three hours. Are you by yourself?”
“Yes.” You replied, almost whispering. You couldn’t understand him.
“Me too. Can I come pick you up? We could maybe watch every single sitcom Christmas episode together. I have some food here.” He was already getting up and putting on his shoes outside of the apartment.
“Sure.”
You sighed after hanging up, what could go wrong? You’d go, you’d eat his food, you wouldn’t hook up with him and you’d be home by midnight. It was fine. Everything was under control.
Until you got into his car.
Until you felt his smell, the three in one shampoo that had the sweetest smell a three in one shampoo could ever have.
“Hey, you look great.” He said, looking at you as you put on the seatbelt.
“Thanks, you too.”
“Did you change your hair?” James asked, starting to drive.
“Kind of, yes.” You looked out the window and then back at him. “You look the same.”
He let out a small laugh. “I do.”
It was usually a 10 minute drive from your apartment to his, in which you awkwardly played with the hem of your skirt and made small talk.
“I have some frozen pizza at home, we could make popcorn too if you like, I bought one of those air popping machine things a few weeks ago. Actually, Sirius got that.” He said as he parked the car on the empty street in front of the apartment complex.
“I’d like that.”
Maybe you believed everything was still in control until you entered his apartment, the floor was cold and you left your shoes at the door. He locked it behind you.
“You remember the place don’t you?” You nodded. “There’s a few blankets and a sweater on the couch and you can turn on the TV if you want to. I’ll take the pizza out of the freezer and get the popcorn machine ready.”
You decided on starting with The Office’s season two Christmas episode, then you watch the other eight. Or you’d move to New Girl, then maybe Brooklyn 99, possibly Seinfeld.
“Bad news!” You heard James say from the kitchen. “Theres no corn to pop” he said, coming out and looking at you sitting on the couch.
“It’s alright, how about we watch this one and then I can help you out with the pizza?” You moved to the right side of the couch, inviting him to sit on your left.
You did realize you had no control over anything once he sat and instinctively wrapped his left arm around your shoulder. That might’ve also been when he realized he had no control.
“What are we watching?” He asked as you covered your legs with the blanket on the couch, he pulled some of it to himself and shared with you, your knees touching under it.
“I thought we could start by the office, we obviously won’t watch all of them, so we can move to New Girl afterwards, then maybe we could do Brooklyn 99 or Seinfeld because I know you like those two.” You looked at him and he hummed.
“That’s a good plan.” You smiled at him and started the episode.
When Micheal started talking about the Yankee Swap, James took his left arm from off your shoulder and put it under the covers to scratch his calf. You missed the feeling of him over your shoulders, until he rested his hand on your upper knee.
You felt your entire body go hot until the end of the episode, when he took the blanket from off you both and supported himself on your thigh to get up from the couch, ‘accidentally’ giving it a light squeeze. You thought you were about to go insane and paused the TV, maybe it really was a Christmas booty call.
“I only have pepperoni, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t.”
“Can you put it in the oven? I’ll get us something to drink.”
“Sure.” He brushed his hand against your waist as he moved behind you to open the fridge.
“There’s Diet Coke, wine and orange juice.” He looked back at you.
“Wine.” You answered, watching him take the bottle out along with a can of Coke.
“Aren’t you going to drink with me?” You grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and moved next to him.
“I have to drive you home.” He smiled at you.
“Maybe you shouldn’t.” You smiled back at him.
“I can’t let you walk or uber home.” He put your hair behind your ear.
“I could crash here, if there’s space for me.” You almost whispered, looking at him doe eyed.
“There’s always space for you in my bed.” He stated, his voice low as he poured wine into both of the glasses.
He watched you take a sip and realized you were holding back a laugh.
“What is it?” He smiled.
“This sucks.” You giggled softly. He took a sip from his glass and made a face.
“Oh my god,” he laughed “you have to blame Remus though, I don’t think I bought wine more than once in my entire life.” You smiled, remembering the bottle he brought to your house on your third date. He moved closer to you, resting his hands on your waist.
“I’m sorry about the wine.” He whispered and you felt his breathing against your face, you hummed and looked up at him, moving your hands to the back of his neck, gently stroking his hair.
“Fuck.” He whispered, looking into your eyes. He slowly leaned in, you could feel your heartbeat as he got closer to you. You felt his lips brush against yours and then his phone’s alarm went off, scaring the both of you.
“The damn pizza” he muttered, turning off the oven but not taking the food out. You leaned against the counter and looked at James, who put his hands on your waist again, asking you “Where were we?”, making you laugh for the first time in a while.
You threw your hands over his neck as he hugged you so tightly that you thought maybe you both could merge into one.
“I missed you.” You whispered into his ear.
“Yeah?” He teased you and you hummed. “I missed you so much, love.” He started kissing your neck, holding you tightly by your lower waist.
“I’m so sorry. For everything.” He pulled away, looking into your eyes. “Let me make it up to you, please.” You nodded.
He brought his lips to yours and kissed you quickly.
“Use your words.” He muttered against your mouth and your breath hitched.
“Yes, please.” You replied and he brought his lips back against yours, this time you parted your mouth and he let his tongue slip into it. His lips moved hungrily against yours, the hands on your waist quickly moving to cup your ass firmly. Before you knew it, you were moving against him, glad you’d chosen to wear a skirt as breathy moans slipped from your lips against his.
All of a sudden James pulled his lips away from yours,
“Go to my room, I’ll be there in a second.” He said, pointing to the corridor.
You left the door open and sat on his bed, waiting for him. Everything was the same, except for the photograph of the both of you he had framed and left on his desk, which was now nowhere to be seen. He came into the room with something behind his back.
“I got this for you in November, in case we saw each other today. I know it’s not much but it reminded me of you.” He handed you a black corduroy box, which had a gold necklace with a small heart pendant.
“Oh James, this is so pretty.” You looked at him smiling and closing the box and putting it on his nightstand “I’ll put it on later, thank you so much.”
“Let me make everything up to you, I truly am sorry.” He said, taking off his glasses and sitting in front of you on the bed. You put your hands behind his neck and pulled him in, kissing him gently as he moved closer to you, his knee between your legs.
You laid down and his mouth started to make its way to your neck, giving it soft kisses then gently biting and sucking, making sure to leave a few marks. Meanwhile, his hands trailed their way to your breasts, going under your already loose bra and playing with your nipples. He quickly helped you take off your shirt, also removing his own.
James quickly kissed your mouth and started to trail small kisses from it to your right nipple, which he brought to his mouth and sucked on, nipping at it with his front teeth every once in a while, meanwhile his left hand stimulated your other nipple.
Your hands moved to his hair, stroking it and tugging on it every once in a while, leading to groans that would send vibrations to your breasts.
Suddenly, he pressed his knee against your damp underwear as you desperately tried to get more friction from it, until he held down your hips.
“Let me help you, baby.” he hummed against your chest. “I’m going to take care of you, don’t worry.”
He helped you take off your skirt as you raised your hips, tossing it next to the bed and kissing your tummy, making his way down to your underwear, lowering it and kissing the skin right above your slit, almost where you needed him the most. He started to kiss your inner thighs, going up to your clothed core, pressing another kiss right on top of your covered clit, making you moan as he took off your panties, carefully placing them on top of your skirt on the floor.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, his breath fanning against your pussy.
He started slowly at first, licking from your entrance to your clit, sucking it in the most careful way he could. Until you couldn’t hold back your moaning and you remembered how James Potter gave head like a starved man.
He held your thighs open as he sucked on your sensitive bud and fucked two fingers into you, making your back arch and causing you release the most incoherent sentences from your mouth, a mix of swearing, the word god and his name, but really, in that moment, the later two were probably the same to you.
Your hands tugged onto his hair as you reached your high, he looked up at you and kept stimulating your clit with his thumb, inserting a third finger into your hole.
“Cum for me, honey.” He said, sensing you were close to your high and going back to sucking your bud.
Your eyes rolled back in pleasure as you moaned out his name, squeezing his head in between your thighs as he carried you through your orgasm.
Once you were finished, James moved up to kiss you. His mouth moving hungrily against yours.
“I want you.” you said as you pulled away, looking into his eyes.
“You already have me, sweetheart.” He smiled, getting up to get something to clean you up with. You pulled him back by the wrist.
“No, I want you in me. Please. ‘Need more.” You said lowly, giving him a quick peck.
“You sure?” You knew he wanted it too, he just wanted to make you feel good and forget about himself for the rest of the night.
“Yes, please James.” You replied, pulling him by the wrist again once he went to reach for a condom in the nightstand drawer. “I want to feel you. I’m on the pill, please.”
He smiled, taking off his sweatpants and going on top of you, his knees pressed against the mattress next to your thighs as he kissed you, tilting your head to deepen it.
He started kissing your neck, giving soft pecks on the marks he had left behind earlier, while taking his length out of his underwear and lining himself up against your entrance, teasing you with his tip as you practically begged him to get inside of you.
“Patience, baby.” He muttered, slowly starting to thrust into your needy hole whilst pulling your right leg up and bending it, almost making your leg shin touch your thigh as he tried to go as deep as possible.
You couldn’t help but moan out his name once he started thrusting and kept hitting the most perfect spot he could whilst stimulating your bean with his thumb. You clenched around his cock as he started to thrust rapidly into you.
“That’s it baby, you’re doing so good.” He’d whisper in between grunts in your ear while you scratched his back in pleasure. “So- mhm so good for me, baby.” He said, his mouth clashing against yours, his tongue entering your mouth as you opened it. You clenched your pussy around him and you both can’t help but moan into each other’s mouths, his thrusts getting faster and his grunts and moans only louder, showing you how close he also is.
You felt your second orgasm building up as he pinched your clit and you squealed onto his tongue, your teeth clashing, causing him to pull away and smile against your mouth, his teeth against your lips.
“Are you close, princess?” He whispered and you replied with a nod, your nose against his cheek. He thrusted quickly and made circular motions on your clit at the same pace. “Hm, cum for me baby, cum on my cock.” He commanded as you reached your second high, pulling him in by the back of his neck to kiss you again. The kiss was sloppy as he shot his load into you and you clenched around him, his thrusts faltering.
He collapsed right next to you, grabbing his glasses on the bedside table to look at you properly.
“You’re so beautiful.” He praised you, smiling as he stroked your hair. “Thank you for picking up. Thank you for being here. For everything.” He whispered.
“Thank you for calling.” You smiled.
“The pizza’s probably cold.” He muttered, looking at his bedroom door.
“I don’t care.” You gave him a peck. “Merry Christmas, James.”
“Merry Christmas, love.”
#lila writes#silencesscreams#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter fic#james potter x y/n#james potter smut#james potter oneshot#james potter fanfiction#james potter x you#james potter imagine#james fleamont potter#James potter x reader smut
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MR SCRATCH?
STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING MR SCRATCH GOD DAMN FOOL NIGHTMARE EATING DUST HATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING MR SCRATCH. STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT MR SCRATCH I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO WITH ARTHURS FUCKED UP BOOK WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE HYPNOS IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME.
if i wanted to get into heaven and god said Mr Scratch is waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down. if i have to deal with Mr Scratch speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive. i dont even know why i hate him so much. he spreads nightmares but i am just mad because i am ANGY. he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham. BETTER have had a book make him trapped in Maries attic cuz if he didnt Im going to make him.
paypal. Com/IFuckingHateMrScratch
episode's not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his non fractured form and I lost it. where the fuck is Mr Scratch if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt.
crusty old man. ill punch Scratch and his sad frail non corporeal violet old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and hammer and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish. im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point. i hope theres a date given for when Scratch died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone, and everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who created so many fucked up if true nightmarish suffering.
Turns out what was really in Oscars letter was just the Jurgen Leitner rant named swapped to be Scratch
#Allright here ya go#malevolent#malevolent spoilers#malevolent podcast#oscar malevolent#malevolent 49#malevolent shitpost#arthur lester
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OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN . . . single dad! meian + f!reader
DELETE DELETE DELETE
✮⋆˙ notes/CWs - suggestive, 17+ to read, language, meian is insanely flirty, formatted differently than my usual so lmk if we like it! I probably won't stick to it but I like it in this instance :), not proofread bc I'm lazy sorry, dedicated to the wonderful, amazing, best friend forever @nekozaki who truly outdid herself for my secret santa gift so I'm here returning the favor!! you're amazing ellie thank you for being such a wonderful person and writer, I hope you enjoy <33
Re: today is awful From: Meian Shūgo I can make your day 10 times better if you come over tonight ;)
The woman stared down at the email with baited breath, held it so long she thought she might get dizzy. Until finally a strangled breath passed her lips, filled her lungs before she swallowed harshly. Over and over, she read the sentence; over and over until her heart surged to her throat with her cheeks hot.
He sent that to her work email.
A cheeky habit the pair had, emailing each other. A nice surprise to see kind, often silly emails, throughout the day - sometimes he sent pictures from practice, but more often than not he sent terrible dad jokes - so she always replied. Normally, she would send an update about her day, and he would always reply with an endearing message back. But today was different, today was spicy; Meian had a fire underneath him and didn't mind the consequences.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she swiped away from the email; torn between wanting to smile and wanting to tear him apart for sending something like that. Her fingers were quick to find his contact and hit call, and she decided to draw and quarter him the moment he picked up.
The man was at practice around this time, and she knew he had slinked himself away just to answer - which only made her more riled. He answered because he knew what the call was about, no doubt.
“You got my email, didn't you?” A coy question that made her stomach drop and twist in knots; the man had the unique affinity of leaving her breathless. “You miss me that much, sweetheart?” His voice was laced with a faux sense of sympathy, a teasing aura muddled behind a true care and compassion for the woman.
“You can't send shit like that through a work email, Meian!” A hushed tone as she put force behind the man's name, which only made a chuckle sound from the other end of the line. “Oh yeah, laugh it up, those emails are screened by the way. Let's not forget I work at a school.”
“It wasn't even that bad,” he reasoned. “So put the family name away, I could've sent a lot worse.”
“I bet you could've, jackass,” she rolled her eyes at his brashness. Her eyes flickered up to the closed door of her classroom, then to the clock on the back end of the wall. At least he knew the times when people weren't in her classroom, that was the only redeeming arc of it all. “Not the point though. Use your brain before you send an email like that again. Think to yourself: is this helpful, is this kind, will it get flagged by my girlfriend's work because I don't know how to contain myself?”
Another chuckle, and she let out a loud groan. “Pretty hot when you use that tone with me,” he chided, she could practically hear him smirking through the line. “You should use it when-”
“Dear god, don't finish that sentence right now.” She closed her eyes and groaned once more, and the twinge of exhaustion that settled upon her was apparent even over the phone. He frowned once the tone had shifted, although she couldn't see it.
“Alright, alright, I'm sorry.” Spoken genuinely, with a small breath, before she heard him smile again. “‘Love you.”
There was a small pause, one she could’ve excused as poor signal, but didn’t as she took a sharp inhale. The pair had just recently shared the intimacy of such words of adoration, pouring their hearts out on a drunken escapade that spilled over into the next day, and the day after that. The freshness of the statement still made her stomach fill with butterflies and her cheeks hot; for once, she was glad he wasn’t around to see just how flustered he made her.
“I love you, too.”
She heard him hum just before the loud bang of a door swinging open on his end rang through. “I’ve been found,” he chuckled, “I’ll talk to you later, alright?”
“Have fun at practice, Shū.” Instead of his own voice ringing through; however, another took its place. Farther back from the phone, as if they were in front of the man she wished to speak to, and loud - obnoxious.
“Holy fuck is that your girlfriend? Let me talk to her!”
The click of the call ending was loud, and she only chuckled when she took the phone from her ear.
3 new notifications from Shū ❤️🏐 never said I wouldn't text you though [image attachment] you should still come over 😏 I can make you forget all about your bad day
taglist (open, send an ask)
@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses
@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks
@yogurtkags @bakery-anon @totallytatum @mollyrolls @standcom
@jadeoru @hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @sandwhitches
@knightofwands-upright @angelichwv @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @arusio
#hq x reader#haikyuu#hq#haikyuu smau#meian shugo x reader#meian x reader#hq meian#meian shugo#haikyuu x reader#hq smau#series: oh captain my captain
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a lot of you need to learn to not be freaks about simone and/or jonny’s respective partners! thanks!
#‘i will not delete this until i find this person’#congratulations you just admitted you’re a stalker on the internet!#how does it feel to be a weirdo? do you feel cool? do you feel sexy? do you feel important?
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contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk
#.bdo#i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year#can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow#and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings#i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made#& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing#like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back#i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong#i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified#that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling#i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here#it's also the only social media i use currently#but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post#just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all#it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real#i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing#shit than I've ever said#but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad#and i find out through public ridicule#well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale#last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends#called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong#and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of#i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again#almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that#but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on
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Publicly posting creative work when you have *severe* rejection sensitive dysphoria is such a bitch. I can't even look at chapter 2 of this new story without being upset, and all I have to do is edit it to post... but my brain won't stop with the "why bother?" and "no one wants this."
Scratch that, I can't even be excited about it or think positively about it at this point. The whole thing is tainted because I'm misdirecting mountains of very real IRL stress and frustration right into convincing myself that my creative work is shit, while using single digit engagement numbers on Twitter and AO3 evidence of that. (I gave up on tumblr a long time ago, and good thing, too, considering how much stuff I chuck here and get... literally zero response.)
And then, of course, there's the guilt associated with this blanket-statement kind of thinking - you know, "no one wants this" - when at least a couple of people like it. I know I'm being ungrateful and that the standard of "success" isn't how many internet strangers decided to click a like button.
But I still can't help thinking, like... at what point do you take a hint and just stop?
#also lack of response in fandom servers#but I also am posting dark fantasy with angst during the genderswap lesbian zeitgeist so#just feels like if I'm not drawing (the right kind of) spice nobody really cares#and in response to feeling rejected I have fully withdrawn#so I'm not in there talking about other people's works or just chatting#so of course no one's going to want to extend the same courtesy to me#it's a two way street and I'm part of the problem#at this point it's either find a way around this feeling of rejection and misery or stop#I was having fun until I saw someone's (now deleted) twitter post about a year ago#that was like “I dislike that I have to engage with this one specific piece of art to make it stop appearing on my timeline”#and it was right when I'd just posted something that was doing fairly well (for me anyway)#and that same person then went and dropped a like on it#a person who had up until that point regularly interacted with me#and hasn't really since#so the timing is suspect and my brain won't let it go#what if everyone's humoring me?#what if likes are really just “I don't want to see this any more?”
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re:hbomberguy, on the topic of citing sources, i want to say:
it is insane how many people on here don't even click the sources op links on their own post to learn more and just hit reblog saying "oh my i didn't know about this thank you for teaching me!". like guys CLICK THE LINK!! CHECK THE NOTES!!! CHECK THE SOURCE!.... i swear half the time the link is dead or takes you to a nonsense page (i see this a lot with art specifically???? and excerpts from magazines??) and some times the linked source disproves a claim the very post that linked it made and people just. don't bother to check, no one bothers to even reblog saying "hey that link is dead! here's a new, working link!" or "hey that link doesn't work, can you link the source again?" and when it comes to misinformation people just share without checking or looking at the notes where numerous people will (in the best case scenario) already be pointing out the misinformation
"OH BUT I CAN'T CHECK EVERYTHING I SEE ON THE INTERNET" there is a surefire way to prevent spreading this kind of stuff even if you don't have the time to fact check immediately. just accept it's fine to save a post for later if you can't look deeper into it right now!!!!! literally just reblog it in private or save the post as a draft so you can come back to it later and check. it won't kill you and in fact it will actually make your life a lot better lol
#hbomberguy#misinformation#plagiarism#adding those for reach honestly because im kinda pissed rn#heres some more on citing sources for this week! sometimes people cite sources and THEY DON'T EXIST. it is REALLY frustrating#people do this to PRETEND they linked to the original artist a lot here on tumblr when theyre actually linking 1- nothing or 2- google imgs#it drives me INSANE#and sometimes they will add “source: xyz magazine” and then you go look for it and there is no available source. its just a loop of-#one person quoting another on where the source came from and none of them actually checked the source#ALSO sometimes journalists will do this kind of crazy bullshit where they quote something from wikipedia thinking the wiki source is real-#and it turns out to not align with the statement in the wiki and so the journalist claims that without checking or sourcing and then#other news sources will quote the journalist on that cyclically up until the point where the journalist that used wikipedia as a source-#becomes a source for wikipedia#'confirming' the statement that actually came from there in the first place#there is a name for this phenomenom but i cant remember it if i find it i'll reblog with an addition#sorry if you saw this before i deleted it to word it better
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oh man no wonder i'm missing my little guys recently. we haven't seen kaeya in almost a year
#personal stuff#delete later#a month from now marks one year since his hangout....#head in hands.... kaeya come back i miss you#yes i Know he has a hangout i can replay at any time that also has his brother in it. not the same#diluc showed up back in march with his normalguysona and kaeya sent a letter but it's just not the same...#i miss the ragbros insanity that 2.8 and 3.1 inflicted upon me. i miss bouncing off the walls thinking about them and their new lore#can they come back and do something that makes me relive that sometime soon. please. for me#not sure who's going to be in the summer event this year. probably not going to be either of them but can it be Someone i care abt#for the most part they have been? like 1.6 was THE found family slash siblings vacation#2.8 was my girlie fischl and also hidden strife#then 3.8 was kaeya and klee and collei and kokomi#come on let's keep up this energy. this will be THE mondstadt update TRUST#like come onn venti and lisa both told us to come back to mondstadt before setting off for somewhere new......#like at this point i have very little hope for mondstadt character story quest 2. i used to hope for it w every update but now it's like#who fucking knows. we'll wait until snezhnaya i guess. that's when venti and diluc will probably be relevant again#jean miiight get a second one after natlan depending on what happens to varka's expedition? since her mom is there i think#manifesting a second razor quest then too. we know what the rifthounds are now + varka coming back would be a good setup#and klee might get one whenever we meet alice. i have my thoughts but idk when Exactly that'll be#but lisa's thing probably won't be relevant for a while either considering its connection to the abyss order#and kaeya and albedo... yeah.#but like. i'd love to see amber go to liyue and find her grandpa or something :(#and like. fuck it i would love to see a second xiangling quest too.
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#still think abt the time an (adult) male relative told me (when i was 10) that I 'needed to lose weight or no man would ever find me sexy'#which IDK feels like a shitty thing to say to anyone but especially a girl who had yet to even reach puberty lmao#and who wasn't even That overweight at the time Nor had body image issues until that moment going forward lol#ironically... I ended up having some ED issues and gained a bunch of weight from then on#mainly bc i had some CSA trauma in my early childhood way before that conversation so I internalized the idea#that if I was fat no man would give me unwanted attention#however... this thought process (on top of other things) led me to believe for almost my entire life that no man would find me attractive#or like me or love me at ALL unless I either lose a bunch of weight and maybe not even then#which is kinda why I'm overall uninterested in men even if the attraction is technically there?#I lost interest in even male Friendships tbh bc i internalized this idea that no man would be interested in me even platonically 🤔#anyway. just something I'm working through in therapy but every once in a while I wonder why it's so hard for me to lose weight#and then I remember... ah yes.. '✨trauma✨' lol#funky's personal tag#delete later probs#anyway. I can't really talk about this stuff easily outside of therapy irl so I just be yelling into the void sorry guys :(
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#i hate getting crushes on people lmao#bc my brain treats it like a special interest#and i obsessively think about them#when they’re in my vicinity (thank you adhd)#until it gets bored and finds an ick to make them less interesting to me again#which is a legit fear i have of being in a relationship#that i’ll get bored of the person#like i get bored of tv shows#lyriumsings txt#just feelings in having that i wanted to vent about and delete later lol#god my head really can’t half ass anything#truly is all or nothing
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⁺ ⛧ ﹒ jurgen leitner ? — ˚ 🕯️ ⌢
“ stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner god damn fool book collecting , dust eating , rat old bastard , shithead , idiot , avatar of the whore - ”
><﹐six , sixxol , sol , uc , cryptid , loop﹐🦇
🕯️﹐any / all + 17 + aroaceapl + abro ﹐★
﹑likes - tma , homestuck , lego monkie kid , persona series , drawing , figure skating , fanfiction﹒⟡﹒⤿
⛧ ﹔🥀﹒dislikes - bigots , wasps , needles﹐ıllı
!About you/info - pls save me from the self - inflicted suffering that is called “ drawing my characters reference sheet “﹒🪦
” - biggest clown in the circus , laughed out of town , cowboy motherfucking jurgen leitner ”
#intro post#tags are stupid#stop pinning me when i talk about jurgen leitner i hate him so much why does he have so many fucked up books ?#why did he decide to fuck around and find out just to set them loose#is he dead is he a bastard man has such a visceral affect on me not even in the room never seen this mans face and i know he has the worlds#shittiest beard get away from me#if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgen leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent#back down#if i have to deal with jurgen leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my#bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the purpose of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned#or alive#i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am angy#he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version#ill go ham#better have had a book make him kill a man because if he didnt im going to make him#paypal dot com slash i fucking hate jurgen leitner#episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be in his library and i fuckibg lost it#where the fuck is jurgen leinter if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt#crusty old man#ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until#all thats left is one final book he kept on him simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish#im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point#i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone#every day once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books#holy fuck i just hand typed the entire leitner rant /srs#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.
#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO#he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too#his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve#made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person.#and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a#plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either#mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me#in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that#it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose#and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired.#he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ#he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state.#despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol#hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too#me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life#may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes#i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge#people. unlike him :)#vampire pit#like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it.#jam posts
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Raynes songs always go hard, but the lyrics for Tie Me To The Tracks are something else:
"You showed me what you are but I couldn't believe you. Assumed you were a star, and never really wondered why your eyes were burning red."
"I see the carrion crows, I hear the whistle blow, I know it's coming soon. I'll close my eyes, imagine what the big surprise could be and say goodbye. Wish I didn't have to die, but I'm not gonna see you again."
"You can tie me to the tracks if you wanna. You can stab me in the back, and I'll take a moment to relax cause at least I'm not gonna see you again."
#no screenshots of the lyrics bc they're not on spotify yet and I was too lazy to google trying to find a site that had them.#morrigan.text#lyrics#raynes#tie me to the tracks#funnily enough when this song came out a few months ago I got a tumblr DM from someone who said they were Raynes's publicity person#asking me to go listen to this song. And that's how I found out about it being out. But it took a while to grow on me as all things do.#I deleted the DM and I'm not posting this bc of that just because these lyrics are so fucking wild I need more people to see them.#but it's a weird funny story.#who knows if it was true or not but still.#weird experience to have lmao.#also god I love the bit between the chorus and the bridge where ''tie me to the tracks'' is being sung in the background. Very pretty.#that last line of ''you can stab me in the back and I'll take a moment to relax'' is so insane but SO FUCKING GOOD.#also I was looking at this band's show dates on spotify and they had one in a city with the same name as my hometown and I got SO excited#for all of 5 seconds until I remembered there's a real city with that name and that my hometown is too tiny for concerts. (it has no venues#if only they would come to the nearest city instead... I would go to a concert of theirs.
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sometimes I wish I had the guts to leave the rpc ._. it would probably do me so much good lmao but idk if the pros outweigh the cons. I genuinely do not know how or where I would socialize outside of the rpc. I know chronically online isn't healthy in general, but... I don't really have other options ? and idk where else I could go online. maybe its something I could talk to my therapist about, idk.
even if I don't roleplay or write consistently. I do enjoy the engagement here. and I'm appreciative of everyone who takes the time to talk with me and interact with me <3
#《 ° puffin.exe 》 im a puffin ! i dont do much#° to be deleted !#° personal !#until i find something else to do with myself that satisfies my need for engagement and validation... yall are stuck with me rip
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#okayokayokay though#i just had the cutest fucking video call with a guy who's so unbelievably sweet#we've been on and off slow-burning for like a year now and the more we talk the more i like him#and DUDE#i just had the gayest interaction#i'm floored by the fanfic nature of this exchange#because this is a long distance 'what even are we' dynamic so it's not like we're gonna say i love you really casually#and idk for sure that i would in person (i probably would have ages ago but that's not the point)#but i said i wished i could kiss him good night and he said he would like that too#and that he'd like to hold me and that it would feel meaningful#and i said 'i would find meaning in holding you too' and OMG#it didn't *totally* whollop me until I'd sent it that that's a really fucking good line (also this last exchange was textjng after the call)#fuckin...#on signal we don't say i love you we say i'd find meaning in holding you and i think that's beautiful#likely this will get deleted someday but i had to freak out about it somewhere#he's so hot and kind and genuinely interesting! and he likes hearing me talk about stuff too!
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don't feel bad about self reblogs, it's always awesome to see your art on my dash and I'm sure I'm not alone with this!
Awe, that's very sweet of you to say!
Tbth i have a really strange relationship with posting online – on one hand, I love just posting whatever and really really enjoy interacting with others, but on the other hand, I'm not sure if it's RSD or what, but i experience like. Social recoil? Where i tend to immediately regret and/or worry over the perception of stuff i post (way more than would be considered normal), especially with posts or reblogs that hardly really garner any interaction at all.
I know it's normal for artists of all kinds to be disheartened by things like that, and I don't necessarily create for others, but that is why i post it online- i mean...why else would you? I see that a lot, people feeling poorly about low interaction, and others trying to encourage them by telling them to make art for themselves and to not worry about it, but that's always come across a little odd to me. No, you probably shouldn't be doing something if you're only doing it for attention, but isn't interaction the point of sharing the things you make online?
Especially so in the case of people who really want to make a living being an artist in their chosen "field". To some degree, you do have to treat it like a business. You do have to sell yourself and try to "grow your audience" if you have any chance of making any sort of income at all, just like any self employment type of job. It feels condescending to see others tell artists who get frustrated with social media constantly doing things to make it harder to have any reach at all that they should care less about the algorithm or numbers when a lot of these people don't have a choice. It feels like hardly a day goes by I don't see posts on twitter or tumblr of someone taking emergency commissions just to cover rent or food for a few days.
Got a bit off topic there, but i sort of rest in a very strange place with my art in that, skill level wise, I'm very much an amateur, but due to Life Issues I won't get into, I can't hold a "normal" job, and I've been constantly kind of battling myself for a couple years now on how to approach trying to make Doing Art Online my career.
I need to put in the work to improve my art so i can not just post more frequently but hopefully get more commission work (which i would honestly also enjoy, I love making things for others, it's one of my favorite things about being able to post online), but i also want to improve my skill level so i can make the things I want to as well (I'm also unfortunately plagued by the Kind Of Wants To Do Everything desires and also want to make plush, music, 3D and live 2D models, and I'd love to get into streaming proper at some point).
So aaallllll of this to say, self reblogging is a big thing for artists on tumblr these days, esp as i see more and more talk about how low interactions gotten on here in the past few years, it's rough! But i also feel like im not...skilled(?) enough to do Proper Online Artist things. I guess. Which is dumb but ah I do not control the chokehold whichever mental issue has on me
#was gunna delete all of this and just respond like a normal person but I'm very sleep deprived right now so you get the evil version#might wind up coming back and doing that anyway via edit if the Fear finds me#my cat just came over and yelled until i lowered my hand to pet her and she rubbed her nose on me and left 😭#she used me as a damn tissue#okay anyway#sorry anon you were being nice and i made it weird </3#/lh#anonymous#i have a super complicated relationship with posting online and being annoying and struggling with Life Things#it's a balancing act for sure#ty all the same#clear sky sunset#sunny with clouds#edit: put his ass under a read more bc ough
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