#||gordon||

[hev-mark-iv]

[angicoforest]

No anatomy just darkness

[forgetfulsynapsid]

Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.

[dishwasherfish]

I think we should bring back that thing everyone did in 2014 where you badly photoshop two characters from entirely different media together to look like they’re in love. This is my proposal for doc ock x glados please consider

[bruhstation]

you’re just like the rest of them

[waveoftheocean]

wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!

[video320]

I drew the bat family

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.

Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.

Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.

Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).

Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.

Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.

Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.

Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.

Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Bruce: *Posts a super low-quality image to the family group chat*

Dick: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Jason: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Barbara: Actually I did the math, Dick would have $225, not $0.15.

Steph: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Dick: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please

Steph: Sorry I only have a dollar

Dick: :(

Barbara: correction, Dick would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Steph: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Damian: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Jason: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Dick: Apply juice to what

Steph: Directly to the forehead

Tim: Great chat everyone

[demonicsuffrage]

Jason definitely tries his best to keep his siblings out of crime alley but they just. Don't listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim, arriving into crime alley while Jason's injured, to solve a case that Jason had stopped him from meddling in: Finally, He's not here

Jason, standing directly behind Tim, with a punctured lung and a gun full of horse tranquilisers: Boo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason, putting up a barricade in front of the alley: Stop coming into my territory already!

Dick, backflipping over the barricade and into Crime Alley: It's payback for when you cosplayed Nightwing and came into Bludhaven.

Jason: ...Fine

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, at family dinner: Todd, I demand that you allow me entrance to the alley-

Jason, spraying him with water like a misbehaving cat: no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steph, wearing camo print and openly walking into crime alley: You can't see me right now, so you can't kick me out

Jason:

Jason: Good one. You can come in for ten minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Barbara, trying to fly a drone over crime alley because Bruce wanted reports: This is foolproof

Jason, sniping down the drone: No.

Barbara: I jinxed it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke just waltzes in and out because he works during the day and Jason doesn't. Cass also waltzes in and out because she blends so well with the shadows and he never spots her.

[littlediscoveredstars]

Headcanon that Jim Gordon used to think Dick’s real name was just Robin. It’s not an unusual name honestly, and there’s nothing particularly bird about his outfit, so Gordon thought nothing more about it when they first met.

Gordon: “Uh, kid, this is a crime scene-“

Dick, hands on his hips (and no pants):“My name is Robin!”

Gordon catches Batman’s frown and assumes it’s because Robin isn’t being careful enough about his name.

But time goes on and no one finds out where the kid lives, so Gordon lets it slide. He’s a cute kid, if a little intense, but it’s fun to watch him grow up with Barbara (yes, he knows about batgirl. Yes, he chewed Batman out for it but decided to ultimately ignore it like everything else).

But then a new Robin comes in. This is a kid again, not a full adult like he was a year ago.

Gordon: “Hey, Batman? What happened to Robin?”

Batman: “This is Robin.” He sounds so unbothered, like he doesn’t realize this is a completely different kid!

Gordon’s concern for this half-mad vigilante skyrockets. Batman has convinced himself that this kid is the same as the first. He’s going through it and the mental gymnastics are more than Gordon can take.

So, he lets it go.

But then that Robin disappears and Batman’s acting up. Nightwing shows up a few times and it never really helps things. Gordon’s getting more headaches than smoke breaks and at this point, he’s really to pull the plug on this whole bat business.

But then Robin comes back again and Gordon’s has it. He confronts this kid, fully prepared to push through whatever gaslighting’s been happening, only for Tim to look at him like he’s stupid.

Gordon: “Kid, who are you really? Because the Robin I met graduated collage years ago and the one after that is dead!”

Tim, with the most judge mental look physically possible: “Commissioner…Robin’s my hero name.”

Gordon: “…Your hero name?”

Tim: “Yeah. I’m Robin, like the bird. Batman and Robin. Heroes. Why would I go around using my real name? That would be stupid and dangerous.”

And Gordon has to call off for the rest of the day, he’s so pissed.

[excarow]

The joke that the bats see their contingency plans as a form of love is super fucking funny, don't get me wrong but honestly they probably do see it as that cause they just forget to say the second part out loud.

"after I've taken you down, obviously I'd find whatever made you like this and then find the cure."

They come from gotham where mind altering substances are basically everywhere. One of the most profound ways a gothamite could say 'i care about you' is admitting to having a plan to disarm/capture you in the case you go off the deep end, so that they could then get you a cure.

Unfortunately for the bats, no one else thinks like that cause what the actual fucks guys

[meep-meep-richie]

They are so unserious😭

[galaxymagitech]

Batfamily Nickname Headcanons

Dick and Jason sometimes went by Dickie and Jay when they were younger. Bruce, Dick, Barbara, and Jason, who were around for this period, will occasionally use those nicknames. The younger Bats will not, because “it just feels weird.”

The first time Damian used Tim’s first name, he called him Timothy. Tim, who was incredibly sleep-deprived and in the middle of a League of Assassins case, thought it was Ra’s and reacted poorly (that is to say, he attempted to slash him across the face with his surprise bo staff knife, but Damian was saved by the fact that he’s over a foot shorter than his grandfather). Damian believed that Tim took offense and returned to calling him Drake. Tim filed the incident as a hallucination in his memories. This misunderstanding took an inordinately long time to clear up.

The nickname “B” was coined by an eight-year-old Dick after he accidentally called Bruce “Batman” following a civilian kidnapping. Thankfully, his words were slurred, so Bruce convinced the police he was saying “bad man” about the kidnappers. To avoid this mistake happening again, Dick started using “B” in situations where he wasn’t paying much attention to his words or was uncertain. As he grew older, he didn’t need the crutch anymore due to his compartmentalization skills, but he kept it as an affectionate nickname.

After Dick got into an argument with Bruce and Jason accidentally interfered in Dick’s work, Dick called Jason something in Tamaranean a couple times which basically equates to our understanding of “little shit”. Jason decided it sounded awesome. A couple months later, Jason asked Dick what it meant. Dick, who felt really bad, didn’t want to hurt Jason’s feelings and told him it meant “little brother”. Jason now calls his little brothers that word when talking to Starfire. She never corrects him, because she figures he has the correct translation and knows what he’s saying—Tim and Damian are indeed little shits.

[vodrae]

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

[payasobabas69]

Bathroom Buddies