#{thERE. DOESN'T ERASE ANY CANON BUT STILL HAS EVERYTHING.}

[valar-did-me-wrong]

Hey buzzword crowd, here's the simplest, most basic way I could put the core of the problem that imo is happening between you people and most of the fandom..

(won't call you Shippers here because I know some shippers who don't use your language or agree with your opinions )

This is also me trying to convey what I believe is why people have problems with you people's essays & posts (because it is not the ship that most people have problem with, I'll elaborate) maybe this will help prevent future toxicity..

Spoiler it has everything to do with the respect you give other people & their blorbos and nothing to do with everyone except you all being anti-feminist, anti-sex, anti-shipping, anti-biotic, anti-ageing, anti-oxidant, anti-body etc etc etc..

I'll use 3 characters and 5 points, here we go!

(Ditch the namecalling and insults before you interact)

(again this is my opinion & interpretation of the situation)

1. Elrond in Adar's Tent

If you read it as Sauron as Elrond

What it adds to the story: one ship & it's characters' dynamics with each other and othes in that tent

What it takes away from the story: Elrond coming to himself as a leader, his quick thinking, his skill with words and politics, the growth of his character

What it gives Galadriel: a non consenting kiss & more ship dynamics

What it takes away from Galadriel: her friend saying sorry for treating her horribly through out S2

If you read it as Elrond in the tent

What it adds to the story: a young man coming into himself as a future leader, a friend realising his mistake and asking for forgiveness, a half elf being reminded that he has a powerful Maia in his family (he isn't less than any elf lord)

What it takes away from the story: nothing imo because the siege still happens and it doesn't negate Sauron & Galadriel's S1 dynamics so Your ship can still sail

What it gives Galadriel: she gets the apology she deserved and reconciliation with her friend

What it takes away from Galadriel: a non con kiss

You see how your interpretation of this as canon erases a whole character and his arc but the version most Elrond fan's prefer doesn't affect your ship a bit..

Now this interpretation wouldn't have been a problem if you all weren't framing your posts as feminist & show canon & the correct way of interpreting media & then start name calling & insulting anyone and everyone who disagrees.

Just like you guys don't like the show haters on reddit etc trying to disrespect you & the whole Haladriel dynamics, other fan's also don't like to be called assholes, misogynists, conservatives & Haters etc etc for simply liking the show in another way.

2. Celebrimbor and the elven rings

If you read it as Sauron's engagement rings

What it adds to the story: one ship's dynamics

What it takes away from the story: Celebrimbor's part in their creation & his talents as the greatest Elven smith of his time, the show runners statments that Sauron is not there when the rings are being actually forged

What it gives Galadriel: a personalised ring specifically for her from her enemy and all the dynamics of it

What it takes away from Galadriel: her knowledge, her trust in her family member Celebrimbor.. all of which backs her claim that the rings are untouched by Sauron

If you read it as Celebrimbor's elven rings made with Sauron's help

What it adds to the story: Celebrimbor's hardwork, his skills that he has in part learned from his grandfather THE Feanor of Noldor, his ambition, his Feanorian hubris, his partnership of equals with Annatar, call back to his love for Galadriel in a version by Tolkien (for Nenya seeming to choose Galadriel)

What it takes away from the story: a plot hole imo of Sauron having the skill to make rings of power all by himself this early in the story & not using that to make the other rings alone.. still doesn't invalidate any of Galadriel & Halbrand dynamics so Your ship can still sail

What it gives Galadriel: a correct opinion about the nature of the rings that all her people eventually come to agree with

What it takes away from Galadriel: a mistake imo which is either not correctly judging the nature of the rings or knowing and still risking the future of all middle earth by insisting every time that the rings are safe

You see how wanting the rings to Not Be engagment rings doesn't do any harm to your ship and it's dynamics & neither does it reduce Sauron's talents as a Smith.. he is still a Maia who worked under Aulë and helped in Creation Of The World & who will go on to make the One.

But constantly saying that the rings are Sauron's engagement rings erases the whole point of Celebrimbor as a character.. not to mention his talents that Sauron needed to make the other rings and Celebrimbor's input that also helps him in making the One.

And understandaby Celebrimbor fans don't like this interpretation that reduces & erases him. But nobody would have had problems if again you guys weren't framing your headcanon essays as absolute feminist truths & calling other takes Bad Takes.

3. Nenya healing Adar

If you read it as Nenya giving him redemption by fixing his evilness

What it adds to the story: a plot hole with this magic healing ability that can fix everything and everyone who falls to darkness and evil, making way for sauron to find quick redemption

What it takes away from the story: a realistic worldview where individual choices have impact not only on the person themselves but also to everyone around them, an understanding of how healing works irl

What it gives Galadriel: a mistake for not giving away a ring of power to Sauron to heal him

What it takes away from Galadriel: her wisdom that one cannot heal another person out of their evil or mistakes (heal yourself)

If you read it as Adar gets redemption because of choosing to see his mistakes & trying to correct them after being healed by Nenya out of the torture and dark magic that turned him into uruk

What it adds to the story: Adar's commendable ability to see his huge mistakes and accept them infront of his enemy & try to fix them

What it takes away the story: the ability of the rings to heal Sauron

because in this reading it requires acceptance to look your mistakes in the eye & choice to do better that redeems a person which Sauron in show gets many chances to do but doesn't repeatedly. This still doesn't invalidate Sauron & Galadriel's dynamics so Your ship can still sail

What it gives Galadriel: an example that if someone who was under the shadow for so long as Adar can come to the light by choosing to accept their mistakes then she too despite her tryst with darkness can still come to the light by acceptance if she chooses

What it takes away from Galadriel: the burden of healing her abuser

Again reading Adar's redemption as his own achievement doesn't affect your ship at all & neither does it prevent Sauron from ever getting redeemed. It just gives him a truer to life way to get redeemed someday; even makes his future redemption more compelling imo.

But when you make the redemption all about Nenya it takes away the little good this already tragic & tortured character of Adar has. Add that to the usual insensitive framing & you'll get Me in response, an Adar fan fuming.

4. Adar's villian arc

If you read him as solely a villain

What it adds to the story: another villian

What it takes away from the story: Sauron's narrative foil and all the complexity that has been put into his character from his introduction in S1

What it gives Galadriel: a mistake imo it makes Galadriel's pity & understanding of the suffering of Adar & Uruk a mistake if he is only a villain & does everything wrong in all lights.

What it takes away from Galadriel: an example of what becomes of people who accept darkness despite love still existing in their heart and also an example of how good intentions and horrible actions can go hand in hand

If you read him as a morally grey character who had a villain's arc in one light but an anti-hero's arc in another light

What it adds to the story: a complex character that creates an emotional connection with some people who might see flashes of their persecution in the Uruk, a character who grounds the story in real world by having elements of freedom fighters & rebels choosing wrong paths in desperation, a great portrayal of the Cycle of Abuse creating abusers out of some victims

What it takes away from the story: a similar or less complex villian than Sauron but doesn't affect the dynamics of Sauron & Galadriel so Your ship can still sail

Again see how having Adar as not fullly a villain doesn't affect even a bit of your ship. It also doesn't affect Sauron and his existence as a compelling villian with a repentance arc & some good intention behind all the deception. You can still read good in Sauron's actions, Adar doesn't need to be a villain to make Sauron's goodness more visible.

But your insistence that he can only be read as a villain & people who see him as anything else are supporting genocide can irk Adar fans because the scenes showing his good traits exist & were placed conciously & weren't a collective hallucination.

5. Gay Adar being forced into ships with women

This one I'll just simply say.. The people who insist that he's gay are also the ones I see that say his relationship with Sauron was only one sided where Adar was in love but Sauron wasn't.

Here are my problems with this reading:

Adar is queercoded.. the showrunners' interview from SDCC mentions LGBTQIA+ & we all assume it was about him right..

Nowhere is it specificed that he's gay.. why can't he be Bisexual? Pansexual? Or something else or just Queer who doesn't want to be labelled by anything?

Why is this one specific way of reading him so important to you by invalidating everyone else's reading when nothing is concrete canon about this anyway?

Why can't all kinds of people from LGBTQIA+ explore their sexuality via Adar just like you all like to explore female sexuality & dark fantasies etc via Galadriel & Sauron? Because it isn't wrong in anyway I agree, I used to ship them too in S1. And most people you call names every day will agree with that too!

All this was the long way of saying, if you'll be mean to people, their reading of the story, their fav characters and their author.. some will retaliate in the same way.

It's not because they hate your ship or women or women's sexuality or villain ships or gays etc etc etc it's just simply about the respect you give out into the world & the ability to differentiate between fans of the show who like other things than you and Haters of the show.

[hikarry]

Badass Aziraphale is fun. We love to see him with all the divine wrath and playing the protector he was meant to be, blinded by love and duty. Eyes everywhere and flaming sword at hand ready to smite or confront anyone that dares step his way

And that's the version we see the most in the fandom. Vengeful angel Aziraphale Guard of the Eastern Gate raining righteous fury over anyone who dares harm Crowley

It's beautiful. Poetic even. I love it

BUT

There is nothing in this whole fandom that's more powerful and gorgeous than protective Crowley

That man knows what is like to lose the love of his life. He has lived it, for as brief as it might have been. All the despair, the lost of hope, the absolute loneliness. He has been there and that's a place he refuses to go back to

All the fear turned into rage. Ready to burn down Heaven and flood Hell to protect his angel. He might not be the strongest and he might not be a match for more than one archangel at a time, but he would rather die than let anyone take Aziraphale away from him again

He would become so blindsided by terror he wouldn't stop to think about the consequences. His only target is Aziraphale and Aziraphale only and he would pull any stunt to make sure he was safe and, do you wanna know the best part? This is canon

We have snippets of protective Crowley all throughout season 2 but this scene? Oh boy, this scene

Crowley doesn't trust Gabriel. He tolerates him because he promised Aziraphale he would help, but he is on high alert

As soon as Shax shows up and threatens Aziraphale, he redirects his fear turned rage towards his main target: Gabriel. Because this is his fault. Beelzebub is looking for HIM. They/Heaven indirectly threatened Aziraphale with being erased from the Book of Life because of HIM. If something happens to Aziraphale because of this stupid charade he got himself involved with because he promised to protect Gabriel, Crowley will hold no punches

He's already full to the brim with the stunt Gabriel pulled during Aziraphale's "trial". Oh no, Crowley hasn't forgotten his words and his righteous smile while he condemned the man he loves to death even though some years have gone by and he is still furious about it

He is a wrong step away from exploding and destroying everything that presents itself as a threat to Aziraphale in the moment.

He is so scared of everything (Gabriel, Beelzebub, Shax, Heaven in general, the Book of Life) that he spends most of the season compressed like a spring ready to pounce at the minimal real show of danger

The only reason he leaves Aziraphale with the demons in the bookshop to go and try to figure out what the absolute fuck is going on is exactly because the demons can't enter said bookshop and he trusts everyone present not to be stupid enough to let them in (I'm sorry, Maggie. I still love you babes)

The worst part is: all his fury, all his rage and fear are useless in the end because Aziraphale walks into the danger willingly and Crowley would face anyone that tried to hurt his angel, but the angel himself

Don't get me wrong, he sees the danger. Maybe a tad to late. After the demons are gone and so is Gabriel and Beelzebub, he let's his guard down and allows himself to truly relax, planning their little breakfast at the Ritz

Because he thinks it's over. He was completely blindsided by Metatron. He himself says "Go angel. No problem. Can't get weirder than whatever the fuck just happened". Oh my poor sweet summer child

But he does see the danger eventually and goes on high alert again, but it's too late. He would never hurt Aziraphale, but he pulls all the weapons on his arsenal to try and stop him from going where he can't follow. Where he can't protect him

And he fails. Like he always feared he would. Not only showing his hand to Aziraphale in a desperate attempt to protect him but also losing him in the process with nothing he can do about it but watch his angel go until the very last second

[burst-of-iridescent]

I hate when people say(*writers*) when zuko is an emo bad boy. When zuko acts "emo" and "badboy" as they say it's him reacting to his trauma and abuse as a kid(most of time. Zuko is still badass. But badboy no). Is it an excuse? No. But when zuko is acting that way in canon, his obsession with honor, his yelling, his moodiness, his short temper. That is the product of having his empathy literally beaten/burned out of him by his father(and mocked and emotionally abused by Azula). The reason Zuko is doing this whole thing is because he wants to please his father. Become someone he's not. His struggle of who his father wants to be with who he is. It's because of the abuse of his father and his family. As the series goes on you get more and more flashes of the person Zuko was and the person he can become. By the end of the series it's such a great contrast and Zuko is much more happier because he's with the gaang. His family. He got out of that abusive situation he was in and finally became himself. A dorky, empathetic, caring, skilled swords men, a balanced person. Does he still have moments of anger? Yes. But over all Zuko becomes a fully balanced person.

gasp! but if we don't call zuko a bad boy, however will we make sure people don't get any ideas about shipping him with katara?

jokes aside, you're absolutely right and i roll my eyes so hard when people point to bad things zuko did, or his behaviour pre-redemption as indisputable proof of the kind of person he'd be post-redemption. like you said, a lot of zuko's actions and mannerisms before day of black sun is a direct result of the trauma he suffered, and though that doesn't excuse him - and neither does the show allow it to - discounting it entirely is to erase the abuse zuko endured and how that shaped him.

using the first half of book 3 as evidence of zuko being a supposed bad boy irks me in particular because a) the narrative makes it pretty clear that this is zuko as the worst version of himself, the opposite of everything he actually is and could be, and b) he is stuck in an abusive household at the mercy of his abusers, in an actively life-threatening situation.

zuko knows that he is in a situation where he has no real agency, freedom or control. he knows that aang is alive, that azula has turned him into a scapegoat and that his life will be forfeit if his father finds out the truth. that is an incredibly terrifying and stressful situation to be put in and it's worsened by the fact that he can't even admit it - not just because doing so would mean accepting that he gave up everything that actually mattered in the catacombs to gain nothing in return, but also because no one around him will allow him to do so.

his girlfriend can't understand his experiences or his turmoil and doesn't seem to particularly want to, brushing off his anxieties and encouraging him to stay the course. he is manipulated by his father and gaslighted by his sister, aware deep down that he is entirely under their control and that they have a vested interest in keeping him helpless, yet forced to pretend as though nothing is wrong. he is isolated from the one person who could help - his uncle - physically and emotionally, both because visiting iroh puts zuko in danger, and because zuko's choices have created a rift in their relationship.

all of this compounds the psychological stress zuko is experiencing, forcing him into a constant state of fight-or-flight, and this context is vital to understanding many of the decisions he makes and how he behaves in the first half of book 3.

(this is why i don't agree with the take that hiring combustion man is an ooc moment for zuko because even though i think the idea of combustion man himself is stupid - not to mention disrespectful to the hindu origins it's pulling from - it's a fundamentally desperate move, and zuko at this point is more desperate than he's ever been.)

that's why it's unlikely that zuko post-redemption would behave similarly since many of the factors that contributed to his anger, hostility and moodiness would no longer exist! judging zuko's future behaviour based on a time when he was constantly abused, gaslighted and threatened is just not an accurate or fair means of measurement, especially since we know what he's like at his best. the zuko we see with the gaang still has a bit of a short fuse, sure, but he's also sincere, honest, awkward, shy and far happier than he's ever been. because shocker, people tend not to act the same way in healthy, supportive environments as they do in abusive, traumatic ones. who would've thought?

people who make this argument also usually tend to compare zuko to aang, especially to glorify how aang remains cheerful and peaceful despite his trauma, and... no. just no. first of all, the show barely gives a fuck about developing aang's trauma the way it does zuko's so of course it seems to affect him less, and secondly, there's something to be said about how trauma responses like aang's are a lot more palatable and comfortable for audiences than responses like zuko's, or even katara's in the southern raiders.

anger or moodiness, or wanting to punish the people who hurt you, are not inherently wrong ways to react when you've been wronged and traumatized. praising aang for remaining cheerful and forgiving while calling zuko a bad boy for being angry and moody implies a sense of moral superiority that comes with reacting to trauma in the "right" way, which is both inaccurate and insensitive.

zuko will never be aang, and that's fine. he doesn't have to be. he ends the show reclaiming everything his abusers tried to take from him, having found himself and his destiny, in a place of healing that is all his own. that is an incredibly meaningful and powerful narrative, and the last thing zuko deserves is to have all of his complexity and development stripped just to be reduced to the tired trope of a "bad boy" when he was never one in the first place.

[haikirii]

Thinking about q!Cellbit's life: before, during and after the war

Recently, q!Cellbit talked a bit more about his wartime background alongside q!Badboyhalo - let's pretend I'm not freaking out about my hcs being canonized - and I wanted to reflect a little bit on everything he said. Mainly, reflecting on how tragic q!Cellbit's life is and how he can only have a normal routine after arriving on the island.

First of all, I would like to remind you of a rather sad fact that gives us some clues about your childhood that is still a mystery. One day, q!Cellbit was having a picnic with Richarlyson and he says "Did you know I've never been on a picnic before on this island?", which made me think about something so simple never having happened even in his childhood. Maybe I'm making a simple sentence a lot deeper than it should be, but when q!Cellbit confirmed that he entered the war at just 14/15 years old, my mind can't help but wander to that sentence and that day.

Come on, from what little q!Cellbit elaborated from the war for Richarlyson - which I'll talk more about later - leads me to believe that at the very least you'd have to have some heavy training to survive in it as an average soldier. However, q!Cellbit was not just any soldier, he was one of the best of his time at just 14 years old. How long did he train? Who trained his? How intense and cruel does training have to be for a 14-year-old teenager to be a killing machine amidst the chaos of the battlefield? What all this makes me think is that he was specifically trained from childhood to be a soldier. Sure, the training might not have been able to erase his teenage recklessness and rebelliousness, but it's still the only thing I can think of for him to have been such a good fighter. q!Cellbit didn't have comfort, he didn't rest, he never did normal child things and maybe that's why he values so much that Richarlyson lives like a normal child even with all the dangers of the island. Even though Richarlyson would also have to have been raised as a warrior to protect himself, q!Cellbit still doesn't want him to have the same fate as him.

And then we go to war and that's when q!Badboyhalo enters. He confirmed, once again, that the demon was with him and that they fought side by side. Of the things that q!Cellbit told him, one of them was that he was an Endergage - outside of roleplay: one of hg's classes. With that, I can only think of a scene where a hyperactive teenager goes around teleporting everyone close to him and killing them with impressive skill while an ancient demon screams at him to be careful and stop cursing while delivering blows. Because killing is OK, but swearing was the limit - and of course q!Cellbit was terrified of q!Badboyhalo cleaning his mouth with soap after battles.

He also mentioned a little bit of how the war worked, which was literally the hg: they were thrown into the arena, without resources and either you were the last one to survive or you would die. q!Cellbit told how there were cowards - his words - who hid in block towers. He seems to hate Stompers quite a bit, citing how he hunted them and how they didn't expect him to be so good with his teleportation power.

And then q!Cellbit tells Richarlyson that "These were simpler times, where I had to fight for my life every day." How troubled does your life have to have been for THIS to have been simpler times? Fight for your life in a cruel battle of life and death every day. He said it was fun days even with fear plaguing his skin, his fun time was on the battlefield.

After that, he says "Then I went to jail […] it has more or less to do (with the war)". And that's what intrigues me the most: even in Fuga Impossível, we never found out why he was arrested. This information is completely new, which leads me to believe in two things: war crime or that he is too strong to let him free in society. I think a lot about the possibility of war crime due to cannibalism, but he himself said he didn't actually commit that much - I just honestly don't know how much we can trust q!Cellbit's words on this because of how unreliable he is when it comes to some prison stuff, tending to smooth things over to his side. Aside from cannibalism, which we're not sure he actually committed in the war as only q!Pac's bites and leg have been confirmed, I think about how he was a good enough killing machine to have a special government interest in leaving him in jail.

Think with me: he entered the war at 14/15 years old, but a lot of things lead me to believe that he was arrested at about 18 years old. He talks about how he and q!Badboyhalo broke up after the war was over and after that the arrest occurred. Maybe that break after the war has made him even more mentally unstable? q!Cellbit still spent a few years in Alcatraz, but we don't know if he was already unstable when he arrived in prison or if the prison messed with his head over the years. His behavior may have been generated as a defense mechanism against other more aggressive inmates along with a reflection of the traumas of battles, he barely had time to process all the years he lived there.

q!Cellbit emphasizes the "kill or die" a lot, it hurts to imagine what that did to his mind. On how after parting with q!Badboyhalo, he was alone and with no one to trust again. He dominated the prison alone, made protection pacts with other gangs alone without being able to really trust them. I've already talked about how important trust is to q!Cellbit, and now it just makes me think that he only had one person to really trust before his arrest.

Quoting myself:

"In Fuga Impossível, the only thing he asked f!Tazercraft was "Don't break my trust". I mean, we can't judge them because f!Cellbit wasn't the sanest person to have a relationship with inside the jail - considering the events that followed and the consequences like f!Felps killed in a riot, f!Pac having his leg eaten, f!Jvnq murdered and f!Celbit abandoned on an island.

However, he still tried to trust in f!Tazercrat. he tried to take a chance, even if you can't see that chance with the best of intentions."

Trust is the central point of this character, it's something essential for him. And he eventually escapes from this other hell he got himself into, alone and with no one to trust after being betrayed and also doing horrible things to his fellow escapees because q!Cellbit is no saint. And once again he has to get back on his own.

And a great deal of time has passed since then. He does some miraculous therapy and gets better, q!Cellbit finds the q!Tazercraft on the ship but they still maintain that distrust from years ago. He also has q!Felps to rely on now and is introduced to q!Forever, nothing is the same as years before.

q!Cellbit finds q!Badboyhalo, his war buddy. Two wounded veterans who've been through life's hell before and after everything, who've split up. Where q!Badboyhalo sees that already grown teenager, full of scars, dark circles and trauma and thinks "What happened to you all this time?".

And it hurts me a lot to think that only now q!Cellbit has found the happiness and confidence he's always been looking for. That being forced onto this island where he was tortured, tricked by the federation several times; kidnapped; had parts of his memories erased from the time he worked there; he suffered for having broken his family at the time of the betrayal; it was only on this damn island that he managed to find people to love and trust.

q!Cellbit loves his family and would do anything for them. He loves his son to the point of considering giving up everything just so he can have a better future than he had; he loves his Guapito, who has his full trust and unconditional love to the point of almost having a relapse when their relationship was threatened.

His Guapito, who was your anchor. The one who trusted and defended him when everyone was against him, the one who supported him in everything he did. The one with whom q!Cellbit made a mistake, but was forgiven and tries to be someone better every day so as not to fail anymore.

q!Forever, who trusts him SO MUCH to the point of not even being interested in knowing information if that put his family at risk. The one who even after hearing so much shit coming out of q!Cellbit's mouth, still had a glimmer of hope that it was all a lie for trusting him.

q!Tazercraft, who forgave him even after everything he'd done. After he killed his friend, who help him because they know that family is all they have.

q!Felps, who is the person he knows best. His best friend who made him go through hell just to find him.

It is on this island, with codes, with a cruel organization that manipulates everyone, with unbelievable entities and mysteries, that he can finally have a normal life. He can finally wake up and have coffee with his son and husband, q!Cellbit can finally just build his castle and do things he never could like a simple picnic with the other eggs on the island.

And when he told q!Forever that "I don't have anyone off this island, everyone I love is here" he was right. Even if he was pretending to infiltrate, that sentence was totally true. q!Cellbit has no one outside Quesadilla Island, he has no reason to want to leave it.

But even so, all he wants is for the people he loves the most to be free. And that's what I love most about this character. I love how he suffered so much, how he saw the worst in people and still wants the best for them.

I love how flawed he is, how he fucks up and acknowledges it. And even when he doesn't recognize it and tries to smooth it over, to me that just makes him even more real. q!Cellbit is full of flaws and full of love, he understands others, he takes care of what is his.

q!Cellbit is human.

tradução pt-br

Recentemente, q!Cellbit falou um pouco mais sobre o seu passado na guerra junto de q!Badboyhalo - vamos fingir que eu não estou surtando pelos meus hcs serem canonizados - e eu queria refletir um pouco sobre tudo o que ele falou. Principalmente, refletir sobre o quão trágica é a vida de q!Cellbit e sobre como ele só pode ter uma rotina normal depois de chegar na ilha.

Primeiro tudo, gostaria de relembrar um fato meio triste que nos dá um pouco de pistas sobre a sua infância que ainda é um mistério. Um dia, q!Cellbit estava fazendo um piquenique com Richarlyson e ele fala "Sabia que eu nunca fui em um piquenique antes dessa ilha?", o que já tinha me despertado uma pulga atrás da orelha sobre uma coisa tão simples nunca ter acontecido nem em sua infância. Talvez eu esteja tornando uma frase simples muito mais profunda do que deveria, mas quando o q!Cellbit confirmou que ele entrou na guerra com apenas 14/15 anos de idade, minha mente não pode deixar de vagar para essa frase e esse dia.

Vamos lá, pelo pouco que o q!Cellbit elaborou da guerra para Richarlyson - que vou falar mais sobre depois - me leva a acreditar que no mínimo você teria que ter um treinamento pesado para sobreviver nela como um soldado mediano. Porém, q!Cellbit não era qualquer soldado, ele era um dos melhores da sua época com apenas 14 anos de idade. Por quanto tempo ele treinou? Quem o treinou? O quão intenso e cruel um treinamento tem que ser para um adolescente de apenas 14 anos de idade ser uma máquina de matar em meio ao caos do campo de batalha? O que tudo isso me faz pensar é que ele foi específicamente treinado desde a infância para ser um soldado. Claro, o treinamento pode não ter sido capaz de apagar a imprudência e rebeldia adolescente, mas ainda assim é a única coisa que eu consigo pensar para ele ter sido um lutador tão bom. q!Cellbit não teve aconchego, não teve descanso, nunca fez coisas normais de uma criança e talvez seja por isso que ele preze tanto para que Richarlyson viva como uma criança normal mesmo com todos os perigos da ilha. Mesmo que Richarlyson tenha que também ter sido criado como um guerreiro para se proteger, ainda assim q!Cellbit não quer que ele tenha o mesmo destino que ele.

E aí vamos para a guerra e é nesse momento que q!Badboyhalo entra. Ele confirmou, mais uma vez, que o demônio estava com ele e que eles lutaram lado a ladoDas coisas que q!Cellbit contou, uma delas era que ele era um Endermage - fora de roleplay: uma das classes de hg. Com isso, eu só consigo pensar em uma cena onde uma adolescente hiperativo saindo por aí teleportando todo mundo para perto de si e matando eles com uma habilidade impressionante enquanto um demônio milenar gritava para ele tomar cuidado e parar de falar palavrão enquanto desferia os golpes. Porque matar? Ok, mas palavrão era o limite - e claro que q!Cellbit morria de medo de q!Badboyhalo limpar sua boca com sabão depois das batalhas.

Ele também citou um pouquinho de como funcionava a guerra, que era literalmente o hg: eles eram jogados na arena, sem recursos e ou você era último a sobreviver ou você morreria. q!Cellbit contou como existiam covardes - palavras dele - que se escondiam em torres de blocos. Ele parece odiar bastante Stompers na real, citando como ele os caçava e como eles não esperava que ele fosse tão bom com seu poder de teleporte.

E então q!Cellbit fala para Richarlyson que "Eram tempos mais simples, onde eu tinha que lutar pela minha vida todos os dias." O quão conturbada a sua vida tem que ter sido para ISSO terem sido tempos mais simples? Lutar por sua vida em uma batalha cruel de vida ou morte todos os dias. Ele ter dito que era dias divertidos mesmo com o medo assolando sua pele, seu momento de diversão era no campo de batalha.

Depois disso, ele diz "Depois eu fui pra cadeia [...] tem mais ou menos relação (com a guerra)". E isso é o que mais me intriga: mesmo em Fuga Impossível, a gente nunca descobriu o porquê de ele ter sido preso. Essa informação é totalmente nova, o que me leva a crer em duas coisas: crime de guerra ou ele ser muito forte para deixar ele livre em sociedade. Eu penso muito sobre a possibilidade do crime de guerra por conta do canibalismo, mas ele mesmo disse que não chegou a cometer tanto assim - só que sinceramente não sei o quanto podemos confiar nas palavras de q!Cellbit sobre isso por conta do quão pouco confiável ele é quando se trata de algumas coisas da prisão, tendendo a amenizar situações para o seu lado. Fora o canibalismo, que não temos certeza se ele chegou a cometer na guerra já que apenas foram confirmados mordidas e a perna de q!Pac, penso em como ele era uma máquina de matar boa o suficiente para ter um interesse especial do governo em deixá-lo preso.

Pensa comigo: ele entrou na guerra com 14/15 anos, mas muita coisa me leva a crer que ele foi preso com uns 18 anos. Ele fala sobre como ele e q!Badboyhalo se separaram depois que a guerra acabou e depois disso ocorreu a prisão. Talvez essa quebra depois da guerra tenha tornado ele ainda mais mentalmente instável? q!Cellbit ainda ficou alguns anos em Alcatraz, mas não sabemos se ele já era instável quando chegou na prisão ou se a cadeia mexeu com a cabeça dele durante os anos. O seu comportamento pode ter sido gerado como um mecanismo de defesa contra outros presos mais agressivos junto de um reflexo dos traumas das batalhas, ele mal pôde ter tempo de processar todos os anos que ele viveu ali.

q!Cellbit frisa muito o "era matar ou morrer", dói muito imaginar o que isso fez com a mente dele. Em como ao se separar de q!Badboyhalo, ele estava sozinho e sem ninguém para confiar de novo. Ele dominou a prisão sozinho, fez pactos de proteção com outras gangues sozinho sem poder realmente confiar neles. Já falei sobre como confiança é importante para q!Cellbit, e agora isso só me faz pensar que ele apenas teve uma pessoa para realmente confiar antes da prisão.

Citando eu mesmo:

"Em Fuga Impossível, a única coisa que ele pediu para os moços foi "Não quebrem a minha confiança". Quero dizer, não podemos julgá-los pois f!Cellbit não era a pessoa mais sã de se ter uma relação dentro da cadeia - considerando nos fatos que se sucederam e nas consequências de um f!Felps morto em uma rebelião, f!Pac tendo sua perna comida, f!Jvnq assassinado e f!Cellbit abandonado em uma ilha.

Porém, ainda assim ele tentou confiar nos moços. Ele tentou dar uma chance, mesmo que você não possa ver essa chance com a melhores das intenções."

Confiança é o ponto central desse personagem, é algo essencial para ele. E ele eventualmente foge desse outro inferno que ele se meteu, sozinho e sem ninguém para confiar depois de ter sido traído e também ter feito coisas horríveis para seus companheiros de fuga porque q!Cellbit não é nenhum santo. E mais uma vez ele tem que dar a volta por cima sozinho.

E um grande espaço de tempo se passa desde então. Ele faz alguma terapia milagrosa e melhora, q!Cellbit reencontra os q!Tazercraft no navio mas eles ainda mantém essa relação de desconfiança de anos atrás. Ele também tem q!Felps para confiar agora e conhece q!Forever, nada é o mesmo que anos antes.

q!Cellbit reencontra q!Badboyhalo, seu companheiro de guerra. Dois veteranos machucados que passaram pelo inferno na vida antes e depois de tudo, que se separaram. Onde q!Badboyhalo vê aquele adolescente já crescido, cheio de cicatrizes, olheiras e traumas e pensa "O que aconteceu com você durante todo esse tempo?".

E me dói muito pensar que apenas agora q!Cellbit encontrou a felicidade e confiança que sempre procurou. Que sendo enfiado a força nessa ilha onde ele foi torturado, enganado pela federação várias vezes; sequestrado; teve partes das suas memórias apagadas do tempo que ele trabalhou ali; sofreu por ter quebrado a sua família na época da traição; foi só nessa maldita ilha que ele conseguiu encontrar pessoas para amar e confiar.

q!Cellbit ama a sua família e faria de tudo por ela. Ele ama o seu filho ao ponto de cogitar desistir de tudo só para que ele tenha um futuro melhor do que ele mesmo teve; ama seu Guapito, que tem sua plena confiança e amor incondicional ao ponto de quase ter uma recaída quando seu relacionamento foi ameaçado.

Seu Guapito, que foi sua âncora. Aquele que confiou e defendeu ele quando todos estavam contra, aquele que lhe deu suporte para tudo o que fizesse. Aquele que q!Cellbit errou, mas foi perdoado e tenta ser alguém melhor todos os dias para não falhar mais.

q!Forever, que confia TANTO nele ao ponto de nem ter interesse de saber uma informação se aquilo por sua família em risco. Aquele que mesmo depois de ouvir tanta merda saindo da boca de q!Cellbit, ainda assim tinha uma ponta de esperança de que era tudo mentira por confiar nele.

q!Tazercraft, que o perdoou mesmo depois de tudo o que ele fez. Depois de ele ter matado o seu amigo, que ajudam ele pois sabem que família é tudo que eles tem.

q!Felps, que é a pessoa que ele mais conhece. Seu melhor amigo, que fez ele ir ao inferno só para achá-lo.

É nessa ilha, com códigos, com uma organização cruel que manipula a todos, com entidades e mistérios inacreditáveis, que ele pode finalmente ter uma vida normal. Ele finalmente pode acordar e tomar um café com seu filho e seu marido, q!Cellbit finalmente pode apenas ficar construindo seu castelo e fazer coisas que ele nunca pôde como um piquenique simples com os outros ovos da ilha.

E quando ele falou para o q!Forever que "Eu não tenho ninguém fora dessa ilha, todo mundo que eu amo está aqui" ele estava certo. Mesmo que estivesse fingindo para se infiltrar, essa frase era totalmente verdade. q!Cellbit não tem ninguém fora da Ilha Quesadilha, ele não tem para quê querer sair dela.

Mas mesmo assim, tudo o que ele quer é que as pessoas que ele mais ama sejam livres. E é isso que eu mais amo nesse personagem. Eu amo como ele sofreu tanto, como ele viu o pior das pessoas e mesmo assim quer o melhor para elas.

Eu amo como ele é falho, como ele faz merda e reconhece. E mesmo quando ele não reconhece e tenta amenizar, para mim isso só faz dele ainda mais real. q!Cellbit é cheio de falhas e cheio de amor, é compreensível, é preocupado com os seus.

q!Cellbit é humano.

[91vaults]

Ok so here's the thing: I totally get where the Fallout New Vegas crowd are coming from

(Note: I haven't watched the show yet I'm only going off what's come across my dash so keep that in mind)

Fallout New Vegas is and always will be my favorite fallout game. But I also love Fallout 4. I'm a member of both camps.

I'm also weird in that I love Fallout but absolutely will not touch anything else in the post-apocalyptic genre because...I kinda hate it.

Fallout is Post apocalyptic, but not in the same way something like "The Last of Us" is. It's not grounded in reality for one, and whilst society isn't necessarily moving "forward"...it does exist in one form or another...and it is moving.

And then you have Fallout New Vegas which is very much post-post apocalyptic. It's not just about the wasteland and survival and fighting: Society is moving forward What direction do we want it to go? (oh that and Casinos! you have to admin the casinos were fun)

People are absolutely correct in that the games still exist. Nothing is stopping you from playing them It's not erasing the whole game from canon (I think?) and in a game series like Fallout canon isn't the most important thing anyway.

But here's the thing: By wiping out all that stuff on the west coast, the NCR etc. It shows us how Bethesda see's the series. You know that thing you don't see as much nowadays: when a movie had a sequel they would just undo everything that happens in the first one off screen?

It's like that: We have to maintain the status quo: . Because it seems to Bethesda, fallout is about pew pew chaos in the wasteland! it's why it still looks like the bombs dropped last week even though it's been like (200 years?). It's all wasteland rubble and shanty towns! Because it's fallout, that's the brand. Thats what people expect. The FNV fans are frustrated because it's Bethesda sending a clear message that their vision for the series is very much "stuck in one place perpetually" as is often the case with the genre. forever looking back, never looking forward.

But it doesn't have to be like that! the series can move forward whilst still being Fallout. In fact it would be super cool to see a setting where society has started to built more. Like we saw in F:NV . It opens up new story opportunities. New factions, all kind of cool new shit.

This isn't about who likes what games or why or even about the show (I've heard good things, so honestly I hope I like it) . I don't care. I just think I can see the argument that Bethesds wouldn't really want to take the series in any particular new direction because they've settled into "the brand"

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

There's something I don't see talked about enough in the SVSSS fandom.

The System.

I just received a comment on one of my fics - which has post-canon SQQ and SQH able to still use social media - suggesting that it would be very easy for people in the real world to point out that these characters using fake accounts to post on real life social media sites would easily be doxxed and the System would have no ability to do anything about that.

Something I have noticed among a lot of people who read this particular book is that not a lot of consideration is given to the very thing orchestrating everything. We often think of the system as a ridiculous guide or rule book that exists solely to give the protagonist what he wants/deserves. We don't really approach it for what it is.

This was my reply to that comment:

Doubt it. The System is able to kidnap people from their worlds and place them in other worlds and bodies in those worlds as punishment. And if you don't do as it wants, to the specification it doesn't directly detail, it can send your soul to an alternate version of the present world to be tortured in another body. I sincerely doubt an abstract, otherworldly being like that, which never receives consequences for anything it does because there is apparently nothing that can canonically challenge it, is going to be threatened by doxxing. If it can create things, link universes together, steal souls, and can be anywhere at any time, I wouldn't expect it to be incapable of manipulating people's perception. I even mentioned how in this fic, it WILL erase SQQ's sister's memories if he chooses to reveal his identity to her, but it becomes too much for her to handle. This suggests it has power anywhere and can do whatever it wants. So, in my mind, if someone actually tried to doxx their accounts, it's either going to lead nowhere, lead to somewhere fake, or the info will be stripped from their lives entirely the moment they find anything/nothing.

It was a very nitpicky kind of comment in my opinion, which warranted this response, but my response just made me realize that the System is effectively an amortal, omnipresent, and omnipotent Entity. It literally doesn't go away. We even think it's over and the Extras tell us, via SQH, that it's still there and still in control.

Think about it.

Think about every single thing that happened because of the System's actions or demands. It literally never faces consequences because there is nothing that could hope to punish it. I've only read 1 fic where higher beings step in to punish the System for kidnapping, coercing, and torturing innocent people for its amusement.

Because that IS something it can do. With ease. And seems all too happy to do.

The System is very dangerous and it's weird how this is something people forget when reading fanfics. SVSSS is the kind of book where crack ideas can work in the frame of the canon story because a character like SQH exists. Because he wrote PIDW with every single plothole and contrived story beat for the sake of money and survival, we can have the weirdest shit happen and blame it on his lack of imagination when writing PIDW. It doesn't need in-depth nitpicking to make it make sense. MXTX gave us a very large and generous sandbox to play in.

You don't need to rationalize a crack plot. And you should always keep in mind that canonically, the System is a terrifying Entity capable of outrageous things. It shouldn't be the deal-breaker that the Entity that kidnaps, gaslights, coerces, tortures, and manipulates people is capable of fantastical feats in a fanfic.

[tumblingxelian]

The "real" Batman

I see people complain about the emphasis some people put on Batmans more negative character traits a lot.

"That's not the real Batman, that's flanderiztion, fanon, a few bad but popular adaptions, the 90's only" and the like are common refrains and it really gets to me. Cos see, while I am aware no incarnation of Batman is totally one note, I emphasize the more negative sides of Batman for reasons that aren't "Edgy, badass, GRRR, Toxic masculinity woooh" bullshit and I hate being dismissed as such.

So, here's why I do it:

First is because of general frustration at the dismissal of any incarnation of Batman, regardless of popularity, or ongoing presence in the main-line comics and timelines, being invalid. IE, the "HE's not the real Batman so he doesn't count" when he canonically is, & as done stuff like that.

60s/80s Batman smiles after sending a purse snatcher away in an Ambulance, kidnaps & others relies on torture style interrogations. Just like 90s/2000's Batman threatens people with assault in prison & looms over a Mugger he slammed so hard into a wall it left a giant blood splatter.

It is fair to ague that brutality is not all of what he is, that's valid. But that side of him is not something I feel one can just handwaved away as "not canon" & people doing so frustrate me in large part because it feels intellectually dishonest. Its refusing to engage with a metric ton of the canonical lore of a character they are discussing.

Secondly is the fact that a lot of the lore, history, character development, derailment, treatment, tone, framing and more for characters OTHER than Batman relies on him having a history of problematic behavior.

Cassandra basically living in a Bat-Cave with no civilian life or identity because Bruce is giving her what HE wants for himself even though its bad for both of them is just an example of a huge part of their dynamic. One that can be deeply damaging, self destructive and messy, but also makes perfect sense given the characters involved.

How Jason's entire shift in character and framing was done largely to insulate Bruce from criticism over his death, IE, Jason being characterized post death as violent, arrogant, not particularly bright and then coming back as a villain also ties into 20 something years of smearing his name to protect Bruce's.

Stephanie's entire character history begins falling apart if Batman doesn't treat her like the trash he did in canonical mainline comics, and leaves her with only a couple of borderline cameos at best. Hell, even 'new' stuff where he's "nicer" still has him do things like fake therapy appointments to trick her.

Hell, even Dick in a lot of incarnations as well as mainline comics at different times has a lot of issues that came from being raised/trained by Bruce. No, it isn't universal, but it is far too common & recurring of an element to just say "doesn't count!" & declare the discussion over.

& the thing is, when people say they want the "Real" batman or the "Good" Batman, they not only erase these characters histories. They don't replace it with anything worthwhile for anyone but Bruce himself.

If ignoring all that meant replacing it with stuff like Jason never died & or never became Red Hood & is a totally different character. Or Cassandra and Bruce having arcs about their obsessions with vigilantism at the expense of their personal lives, or Stephanie actually getting to be ROBIN. Then it would be something at least somewhat interesting to engage with. But they don't, instead Jason still became a supervillain & is the Red Hood, Stephanie still got fired if she was Robin at all.

They are either forgotten (Cass & Steph) or end up being warped (Jason) so their characters history, everything is different and all to better serve making Bruce look good. I really find it vexing that even in "Batman is not a jerk" stuff, he still warps the narrative to everyone else's detriments.

[yawnderu]

She Wants Me Dead — Miguel O'Hara x Reader | Part III

1 2 3

"You have tits now." The sentence is so blunt it almost makes Miguel laugh for the first time ever since the incident.

"Pecs." Is all he can reply, barely even finding the energy to keep his eyes open. He has been working himself to the bone ever since he broke the canon and erased an entire dimension, looking for an explanation, a solution, anything.

"Mhm." Everything felt so cold ever since. 5 months in and you couldn't handle the pressure of dealing with Miguel, who was barely home and didn't even have the energy to do anything with you, spending all day in his office, planning with the AI you came to love, Lyla. You left him at his lowest, appearing only a year after the incident, once Miguel had it together, in a way. The Miguel you're looking at isn't the Miguel you fell in love with.

"I have nothing for you, so you might as well shock off." He dismisses you without even sparing a glance at you, his red eyes focused on the projection of his adoptive daughter— the life he wished he could have and got to experience for a short while before reality came crashing down in him, destroying any piece of what the old Miguel was like. Friendly, nice. He was now full of snark, sarcasm, and a moodiness that seemed to spread to everyone around him, infecting them like a virus.

"I just wanted to see you. See if I got lucky enough to be in your bed again." There's a playful pout on your lips, doing nothing to ease the tension. He wasn't expecting to see you ever since you dumped him, and he could feel his muscles tensing at your mere presence.

"Not happening. Not after what you did." He's stern, cold. His red eyes set on you for a second before returning to his monitor, both wounds still fresh in his soul.

"You're still mad about that? I said sorry." The charming smile you shoot his way is enough to make his blood boil. It's something he has seen far too many times during your toxic relationship, something that previously made him fold and submit to you, despite knowing you're both pure poison to each other.

"Sorry." He repeats with a scoff, hands on his hips as he finally looks down at you. He's much... bigger, in every way. The lanky guy you knew is now towering at 6'9, his body nothing short of pure muscle that could easily crush you like a bug.

"If you want back in, you're gonna have to try much harder. You can't just keep doing stuff like that, not anymore." He's a lot more mature now, even if only a year has passed. You know he suffers from great trauma— hell, you were there to see that for yourself, until you ran away.

"Fine. I'll do anything, Miggy." You reply with a sigh, hands gently tracing his waist before wrapping around it, bringing him in for the so dreaded hug. In reality, you don't feel much about it, but for him... it's like another punch to the gut. He has way too much on his plate, the last thing he needs is his ex-girlfriend, a villain, pretending to be sweet just to get forgiveness.

"Just... be there for me and don't piss me off." He says after hesitantly pushing your body away, being careful enough to not use a lot of force.

Four months in and you've broken that promise more times than he can count, yet the obsession and love cloud his judgement. You're the only thing he can cling on besides his obsession with the canon, and so when he needs a break... he knows you'll be there. Doesn't matter if he wants to talk, cuddle in silence, or fuck. You're always available, ready for anything he has in mind.

"Así, mi amor." He guided your hips up and down his cock, arms wrapped around you like a lifeline as he used your cunt to jerk himself off.

"Too much—" He shushes you with a kiss, bringing your body closer to his until he can thrust into you faster, your whiny moans doing nothing but become fuel to his already exhausted body. His kisses are sloppy, desperate, tongues wrapping around each other in a mess of saliva.

''Wanna prove how much you're sorry? For all the broken promises?'' You regret nodding your head, because now your body is now pinned down on a mating press as he fucks his stupidly big cock into you, pulling out only to slam himself back in, the lewd sounds of your squelching cunt and mixed moaning bouncing off the walls of his room in a melody that you both know too well.

''Want it inside?'' He already knows the answer, but he always asks just to confirm. His thumb rubs on your clit while he holds your thighs up with both hands, looking at the way his cock disappears into your cunt, barely managing to take him all the way. The new position allows him to see more of you in a vulnerable light, and he truly appreciates just how much power he holds over you in this moment, your much smaller body writhing underneath him as your second orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave, unable to focus on anything going on around you except just how good his cock feels. You manage to give him a desperate nod, too overwhelmed to even speak, only whiny moans being able to push past your lips.

''Good girl.'' He praises in a whisper, burying himself all the way inside as he climaxes, pearly white and thick cum filling your insides, painting them a pretty color in what he hopes will finally be the time he gets you pregnant. Hopes, because he knows you're on birth control, and he knows he'll get made fun of if he ever suggests starting a family with you.

He slowly pulls out of you, tired body collapsing right next to you, holding you in his arms like you're made of glass, plump lips planting gentle kisses on your forehead, a total contrast to the man fucking you earlier.

''I love you.'' He confesses softly, the weight of the three words crushing him down every single time they come out of his lips no matter how many times he says them. Despite the lack of energy, you tilt your head, a teasing smile on your lips as you look up at him. He know that look too well, rolling his eyes and groaning in annoyance. You're definitely going to make him grow gray hairs before he even reaches 40.

[islandtarochips]

Shadow Company OC #2

Talofa everyone! I proudly would like to share another masterpiece that I got from @temeyes! Another Art Commission that I have requested from her! But before I showed this to you. I know most of you already know that OCs aren't Canon Characters. Even When making an OC that is like CHILDREN for the Canon Characters. Which it's FINE! And awesome too! Love those kinds of OCs that are connected with the Canons.

But this one is a bit different for me. Because the OC that I'm going to show you is actually related to the Canon who is like BLOOD SIBLING likes. And I gotta tell you. There are some online 'friends' that I've made a long time ago (I cut them off since they were complaining too much about how I made my OCs). That they were not very thrilled with how I made my OCs who are BLOOD RELATED to the family, like being siblings or cousins. Instead of putting my OCs as being the future CHILDREN. It kinda really put me down that I started to erase those OCs and just never mention them again.

It kinda hurts me sometimes and it's hard for me to make some OCs again. But after a few years, my OTHER good online friend, which is @forestgreenbunny, showed me the COD MW2. I have been so obsessed with it that I started to make OCs from it. And when I saw Graves on screen and watched him how he acted in every single scene. I just started to have an idea of giving him a sibling. The one who he will spoil rotten with! But…it started to taunt me again about my past experience showing someone my ideas. Except Bunny here had always shared me with their OCs so I thought that I could show her mine. And she had made me happy about it because she likes the ideas of having the OCs actually related to the Canon characters. Just need to make sure to let everyone know about it.

So...if you guys are interested. Here is my Shadow Company OC! Everyone! I would like for you to meet Graves's Sister!

Lieutenant Callie "Snipe" Graves!

One of the members of the Shadow Company and also Commander Graves's sister!

Before I continue on with this. How old do you guys think she is huh? Lol.

Anyway, Callie has the same personality as her older brother and she always admired him the most. From her childhood, she always looked up to him and wanted to be like him as well. She also saw him as their father's favorite. She doesn't pay much attention to it as she was focusing on being just like Phillip.

She had also wanted her father's attention but didn't get any for some reason. It upsets her most of the time but she forgets about it when Phillip came in and gave HIS attention to her instead. She loved her older brother and would follow him all the way till the end.

So she went with him to join the Marines Corps and later on joined in the Shadow Company. You could imagine that Phillip and Callie are like the most obnoxious duo in this world. Cocky enough to now care for ANYTHING or ANYONE. And will always get the things that they wanted.

You can say that Phillip's attitude had really become bad intentions for Callie. But she doesn't care. As long as she stays with her brother. Everything will be hell of a life! So thank you guys for reading this far! And want to let everyone know that Tim here is still open for Commission! So if you're interested, take a look through here to see the price of it! And give her your GREAT support! Love ya, peles! 😘❤️

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[mikakuna]

ok but i saw an ask on your feed talking about pretty boy jason and i agree hardcore! i'm such sucker for pretty boy jason and you can pry it from my cold dead hands. while i think he has some facial scarring, i don't think it would be any more than any of the other bats? he wears a helmet for fuck's sake, so. i always hate when people depict jason as ugly with heavy scarring on his face and the rest of the bats as flawless (as if scarring makes someone ugly).

like do people forget that dick and jason canonically look really similar?? and if dick is considered handsome, then logically jason must also be?? i love the idea of jason taking off his helmet and people being so thrown at how fucking pretty he is. ugh.

my theory (i may be thinking about it too much), but i feel like people depict jason as uglier or more scarred than the rest of the bats because they feel like his morals are a more grey area. there are studies that show people associate morality with physical appearance and because jason has questionable morals, people write him as less attractive than the other bats. the bats are righteous with good morals = beautiful people, whereas jason kills to protect others = must be ugly.

i want to say somehow classism links into all this as well, but i'm probably being too cynical and reading too much into it. although, the way jason is written as a stupid brute sometimes has me suspecting classism hm.

omg yes to everything

i'm all for jason having scars, i love it, but i also think he would have less facial scars than the other bats. jason most definitely looks extremely young. he's barely out of his teen years and you're telling me he looks like almost 40 year old bruce wayne? even him looking older than dick is a stretch. they have a good 6 years between them.

i don't care if jason's ugly or pretty but i mean it's just not possible to be unattractive if he was physically similar to dick in his robin days. coming back to life doesn't erase what jason used to look like-- he doesn't have a new face. if anything, his face would look even younger/"prettier" (since people equate beauty with next to no facial flaws) because of the lazarus pit removing any scarring he had from both his childhood and robin days (this is considered during the period he was back in gotham).

you're definitely right about the simply put "bad people=ugly" theory. it really just depends on the artist in charge but it's still questionable when jason is drawn as this harsh, extremely masculine brute in comparison to the other bats. i love his character design, i love that he's rlly muscular and scary! but i also like considering why he's drawn like this and why dick/bruce are the same but are given more grace.

[mari-lair]

Let's talk about terukaneaoi! I love them too much to be normal, so expect everything to be based on canon but without the polish of a 'proper analysis'

Let's start with something simple: Aoi is scared of thunder, Teru can create it.

Teru's presence puts her on edge when he uses his powers, but slowly I can see him make her get used to lightning.

Teru's bracelet already gives her a connection between lightning and protection. She seems troubled when she uses it, but she does appreciate this protection, to the point she wears it in school even on her play outfit.

The more she gets used to Teru lightning, and the more her fondness for him as a person grows, the stronger this association will become, and with time I can see her fear of storms disappearing. She associates Teru with a big doggy after all, it's not a very scary view.

Akane will stop being worried about Aoi every time it storms, and start associating lightning with something that makes his partners happy.

Speaking of which, Teru and Aoi have similar interests: Aoi likes shark movies, and teru is cool watching horror movies with people he treasures. Aoi likes sweets and games, Teru likes arcade games and places that sell sugary sweets.

Teru has a more 'out of home/extreme' version of Aoi's hobby.

Teru would force her out of her comfort zone which can be wonderful, specially with how gentle he is with Aoi but I can see him getting too excited when he have fun and going overboard.

Thankfully Akane is the kind of guy who will take bullets for Aoi, so if Teru carries the Aois around like he does with Kou and Nene, Akane would either offer himself a sacrificial lamb so Aoi can rest or protect her from his more extreme ideas. Protecting Aoi is like an instinct for Akane at this point.

(unrelated but Akane calling Teru 'sir', and Aoi always holding to Akane's sleeve when she wants to get closer to him is very cute to me)

Now let's talk about something that would make their relationship a tad complicated and all the more interesting: their view on romance.

Aoi and Akane have jealousy issues and are too proud to admit when they are being possessive.

The romance in their head is super old-fashioned, they don't do casual dating, and if there is romantic interest involved they expect a marriage: Akane immediately imagines Teru and Aoi getting married when teru threatens to ask her out on a date in chapter 59, and Aoi's excuse not to date Akane is that she can't marry a guy that will make her be named Aoi Aoi.

Teru can fix this issue by making the two adopt the Minamoto surname, erasing Aoi's best excuse and likely forcing the poor coward to take a step.

However, if the Aois eventually cave in to Teru barging into their lives, and include him in their hopelessly romantic standards they would gain a problem, a very annoying problem called "Teru has a lot of fans and he actually likes the attention and doesn't wish any harm on them, so Akane can't hit his admires with a baseball bat like he does with Aoi's ." cause teru wouldn't like that and Akane is the kind of guy that would get horrified if he learns he is hurting a loved one and immediately try to fix it.

With nothing else to be done, the two would be very salty about it.

Aoi would easily be hit the worst. Her whole day gets ruined when Akane gets 1 admirer that he bluntly rejects, refusing to even take the chocolate, much less the girl's feelings.

So dating Teru, who smiles sweetly at his fans and does not care about his class making a pavilion of him with merchandise available, would be her worst nightmare.

Just picturing how she would react to moments where Teru is adored is so pitiful to me, cause I guarantee teru will still have a million fans after they starts dating, he has celebrity status. His fans love him even after they give up on a relationship with him, even Nene, who is far from his biggest fan, takes time to fully let go of her worship with him.

Aoi is also very self-conscious, the poor girl acts like people's perception of her doesn't matter but she is extremely arrogant, she will fight her crush on Teru harder than her crush on Akane because she refuses to believe she is on the same level as his fangirls.

She look down on Teru's fangirls, to some extent, telling people teru is the kind of boy every girl can fall in love with, but making sure to establish he is not her type. She used to only ever mention him to try to connect with Nene, acting so fake it's straight up condescending.

So geting a crush on Teru would give Aoi a gigantic crisis.

Both Akanes love to pretend they aren't the jealous tipe, but since they have no issues looking after each other, they would consistently use each other as excuses to reprimand Teru. So we have both Aois going "I am not bothered, not at all, but think about how much Ao-chan/Akane-kun is affected by it."

I feel like Teru would make the Aois jealous on purpose at first because he likes to torment them, and because it makes him feel special, he adores attention, but when he realizes how much it bothers Aoi he'll try to set boundaries with his fans, while simultaneously calling her out for being overly insecure, something Akane is too smitten to do when not in extreme scenarios.

Teru is not nearly as possessive as the Aois: As of now in the manga, it realistically doesn't matter if Teru likes Aoi, Akane, or the two, cause his chance of scoring a date with either is zero. At the start of the manga, he doesn't seem jealous when Akane gushes about his undying love for Aoi or when guys throw themselves at Aoi's feet. Teru is chill. It's not like anyone is making any progress so why worry?

BUT the second he catches Aoi and Akane near kissing he does not even think about doing the whole 'oh I will suppress my feelings so I do not burden them' cliché, he slams himself into their relationship, while simultaneously pushing Aoi and Akane together.

Teru talks a lot about stealing Aoi from Akane but he has no intention of doing so: He waited until the two resolved their issue in chapter 69 before barging in. He let them have a moment in the tunnel despite knowing it could be Aoi's last day 'alive'. He tries to hang out with both whenever possible. He let Akane go after Aoi in the rescue, and so on. It's not like he wants them away from each other, he just wants to be there with them.

Unrelated, but Teru's shocked "whoa" is so funny to me, cause it was revealed in the relay interview that the one thing Teru has issues with regarding Akane is his approach to win Aoi's heart.

The approach he is talking about here is before the grim reaper arc, when Akane used to tactlessly confess his love everyday and treat her like an untouchable goddess. So the 'male lead of a romance manga' approach Akane has going on in chapter 69 must truly have been a shock to Teru.

"whoa." feels as if he is shocked, appalled, but also reluctantly impressed.

Aoi and Akane are so pretty in Teru's eyes, is insane actually.

In short: I think Teru would not care if people flirt with Aoi and Akane, but he will get jealous and more clingy if Akane gives Aoi too much attention, or Aoi neglects him. The only people he can ever be jealous of are the Akanes themselves.

They all have interesting connections separated too.

Akane bonded with Teru about their mutual duties as student council members, which makes them used to work together, and also bond over their core belief when it comes to human life: both value it, albeit for different reasons, and share a similar kind of hatred for the supernaturals that endanger it.

Akane and Aoi bond about being childhood friends and having the same core belief when it comes to romance. They are fundamental parts of each other's life, witnessing the other grow, how they changed and how they stayed the same. They know each other better than anyone.

Teru and Aoi bond over feeling alienated from their peers. They don't understand each other, and their experiences and reasons for feeling this way are incredibly different, but they understand the feeling of being different better than any other human character.

One of the things the three share in common is that they are all petty with each other.

Teru wants to be a good guide in chapter 70, but both Aois are still salty about the kiss he interrupted and refuse to take his hand. Akane is always delighted to drag Teru down, just as Teru is to bully him, and Aoi looks happy propositionally making Akane jealous.

It combines into the best kind of 'wow they are awful, I love them' interactions.

It's like Teru's mere presence brings the worst out of the Aois, but despite Akane and Aoi's confusion when it comes to Teru a lot of times, they don't hate him. They grow fond of him.

Akane grow to respect Teru. I would go as far as to say that deep down he always admired him a little, because his perception of Teru changes from "a demon" to "a nice husband that would make Aoi happy" in the span of 20 chapters.

The three can be unconventional about their care for each other, but to me, it is undeniable they value each other opinions and well being.

Even Aoi grows a soft spot for Teru, and this strange but prevalent display of care in their actions speaks volumes.

Terukaneaoi can make each other better just as easily as they can make each other worse. They balance each other out while leaving space for a lot of conflicts that can be explored, honestly, they are plain fun, and I adore them.

Bonus: Their height difference is beautiful, just look at them!

[pokemon-ash-aus]

Your Dead AU gives me brain rot. I dunno if this was asked yet or not, but I wanted to know your thoughts on Ash’s other rivals finding out about his status as deceased. Hypothetical what-it’s if you don’t honestly see them finding out for one reason or another in canon to the AU, but I’m curious as to your thoughts on how they’d find out.

I guess I should better specify Barry, Paul, Trip, and Alain, how they’d react to Ash’s being dead?

OKAY!;

Barry doesn't believe it at all. Even when given hard definitive truth, he's under the assumption that all of this? All this deadness? It's just a cruel prank that needs to be fined for!

Paul... I imagine Paul is the one to outright calling him pathetic for dying so soon. It's both malicious in intent and not.

He wants to call Ash Pathetic, he wants to make him hurt and make him feel inferior. He wants to revel that Ash will never succeed with the methods he's going by.

But Paul isnt a cruel person by nature. The moment he says it, he's filled wih so much dread and disgust. He just called a dead person pathetic for... For DYING, nothing on his actions or movements. He's just pathetic for dying.

He avoids Ash for awhile after that. Even when Ash instigates. It's just that much level of disgust with himself. Eventually he does apologize. I can see it being at the league. When he walks up to Ash after loosing their battle and apologizes without any eyes or ears around. He's not good at it.

"That really hurt me." Ash grimaces. "Ive never been called Pathetic for Dying..."

"Im sorry you felt that way." Paul tries. "I didnt mean to say it the way i did."

Its a lot of awkward dancing before Ash realizes Paul is really Socially inept and has to clarify. It's a shitty apology for a Shitty action, but Paul is absolutely trying and Ash cannot fault him for that.

Trip. See my bias shows here because I absolutely believe Trip is 100% an asshole Racist.

But would Trip insult Ash's dead status? I think so. I think he'd sprinkle it in with all his other racists remarks. Never outright outing him, but also never letting him forget that Trip KNOWS.

And fuck if that doesnt wear Ash down. And When Iris and Cilan find out, they back Ash up without a thought but it doesnt erase how much Trip taunts how Ash died. Doesnt erase that Trip continuously makes snide remarks about it.

I think this is the one and only time Ash truly uses his own abilities and powers to make Trip HURT.

And it doesnt even give him any satisfaction! Cause Trip had successfully made him feel disgusted by his own dead status. Something mind you, he had been over for fucking YEARS, by that point!

So yeah I think Trip is the worst one and my bias will not falter.

Alain. I imagine he finds out at the BRINK of Ash getting mind controlled. And he's fucking horrified. He truly does believe that He led Ash to his death and then his partner Pikachu as well.

Just fully goes into Shock after everything calms down.

He killed someone he considered a friend.

He killed them.

And Even through soft reassurances from everyone else, it weighs so heavily on his mind. It takes Ash slapping him for him to come back to a reality where he can actually understand what their saying.

And Then Ash explains it all, how he died, how long its been, and NO Alain did not kill him, but the backstabbing was painful as shit and that would take time for Ash to get over.

Alain both believes it and doesnt, but he's still horrified his friend is fucking DEAD.

[maryaandmorevna]

What is it in Aemond’s personality that you characterize makes him a good yandere?

Ohhh I am so happy you gave me this question dear anon. So I truly believe Aemond could/would be dark!, obsessive (and possessive omg) due to several factors.

I know people will disagree and he probably would not act like this in canon (or maybe he will? idk what they will do with Alys).

Please don't come to this post just to criticize me, we all have different interpretations of a character! I fully respect good/soft/kind Aemond depictions. Still, I intend to keep Aemond a villain in A Song of Swan and Dragons, so...

He is an intensely emotional man. YES, despite trying to pretend he's a cool, cold glacier who is pragmatical to the bone, Aemond's emotions run deep. He is deeply attached to his mother, and their fallout even makes him run to the brothel (something his right and proper rule-following ideal of himself would never do otherwise. that's for nasty weaklings like aegon). He is temperamental, as fiery as archetypal Targaryen, and ruthless. The way he slowly but surely pursues strength and respect (and what he believes should belong to him, power) makes me think he'd pursue his object of desire/love/affection with the same unrelenting tenacity.

Aemond is a perfectionist and a control freak. That's a recipe for possessiveness in my opinion. He seeks control over his environment, emotions, and everything else due to feeling inadequate (he lacks an eye and he is a spare/second son).

Again, deep down his feelings of inadequacy and rejection are only masked (not erased) by acquiring Vhagar and becoming a proficient warrior. He gave me the impression of a lonely kid since Aegon and Rhaenyra's kids seemed to be in cohort while he alone had no dragon and was mocked for it. Aemond is lonely and insecure and that would make him clingy as hell once there's true trust/connection (yes I know that sounds ridiculous, clingy is such a non-Aemond word). One of the reasons I wanted a pretty, desirable OC was that Aemond would not just want anyone. Arranged marriage aside, if left to his own devices, he will have the court's darling, the-girl-everyone-thinks-could/would-be-future-queen just because he's driven by the idea that nothing should be above his reach. He could've tried claiming any hatchling on Dragonstone, but he didn't. He rather risked his life and went after Vhagar.

Aemond has no balance, he's all-or-nothing, and his actions all kickstart the war, and many tragic/major things happening after. Maybe in love he'd be the same? He is of extremes, his feelings consume him to the point normal, balanced person would consider it obsession.

That man cannot LET GO. His thirst for vengeance against Lucerys and others who slighted him? If he falls in love, he doesn't know how to fall out of it the normal way. Even if his love vanes it doesn't disappear, it just means he will hate and obsess until the earth cracks open and swallows him.

[andreal831]

What do you think of Kol/Davina?

Y'all already know you aren't going to like this one.

But Kolvina is probably my least favorite of the Mikaelson canon ships. And yes some of that is due to the fact that Kol is my least favorite Mikaelson. But a lot of it is just based on how young Davina is and how young the show continues to remind us she is. Also, how little effort was put into this ship.

In season 1, Davina is 16 years old, only a year younger than Elena was in season 1 of TVD. Davina, I believe is the same age as Jeremy. However, with everything being aged up in TO (the characters, the love interests, the maturity/violence), Davina comes across as even younger. And this is done purposefully. Davina in season 1 is put into these white, babydoll dresses for most of the season, despite it being unnecessary as she's living in an attic. Her hair is typically very simple and her makeup minimal to give her a youthful look. The show is trying to remind us how young she truly is.

This is not only done with her clothes, makeup, hair, etc. But also with how the characters talk about her. I made an edit one time of how differently Rebekah treated Elena and her friends versus Davina. She treats Davina like a child, like a daughter, when Davina is only a year or two younger than the teenagers Rebekah and her siblings had just spent a couple of years harassing/killing. You also have Vincent, Cami, and Marcel treating her like a child (cause she is one) and worrying about the responsibility that has been put on her. Even her relationship with Josh keeps reminding us of how young and even naïve she is when she isn't aware of things he talks about because she's been so sheltered and is a literal teenager.

The show is reminding us how young and innocent she is so she appears much younger than the characters in the show we just watched (TVD). This is because we need to be angry at the ancestors and the witches for what they've done to her. But mostly because we need to separate it from Klaus sacrificing a 17 year old just a couple of seasons before. Elena was made to seem older so that we could set aside the fact that these 100+ year old men were not only sleeping with her, but continually putting her life in danger. But the opposite is true for Davina.

So then when, in season 2, Kol is brought back as a witch sent to charm Davina, she is still a child to the audience. Yes, she's gained more agency, but you can't just erase all of the footwork the show did to make her appear so much younger than everyone else. And yes, I know the argument that Kol was turned at 17 so they are basically the same age. But I've already discussed how that argument doesn't hold weight with me here.

I'll move on from the age thing though. Another one of my issues with the ship is the bait-and-switch Kol essentially does to Davina. Davina was the biggest Mikaelson-anti. Some of it I think was exaggerated to create conflict in season 1, but no matter what the reason was, she wanted them dead. Kol enters, lying to her about who he is and she is swept away by his charm. Kol spends the better part of a month manipulating a teenager who feels abandoned by everyone. Only to learn the truth and feel betrayed by him. He winds up winning her over because he wants her help to take down Klaus. Only to then betray her once again as soon as Klaus gives him any attention. Where is the Davina we know and love from season 1 who had Marcel, Elijah, and Klaus literally on their knees for lying and betraying her??

I've talked about Kol's development falling flat to me before, so I won't go into too much depth here. But Kol was the stereotypical younger brother. He pretends he is too good for his family, but as soon as Klaus gives Kol any type of attention, even negative, Kol is buddy-buddy with him again. The scene where Davina is watching Kol hug Klaus after Klaus nearly attacked her will always stand out to me. The look of betrayal in her face.

We never really see Kol work to gain Davina's trust or love. He just has it. It doesn't help that a lot of their relationship happens off screen, but what we do see just makes me sad for Davina. Also just the fact that Kol is Marcel's least favorite of the Mikaelsons since, you know, he actively tried to kill Marcel as a child, would make it even harder for Davina. She is constantly being pulled in different directions and at no point do we see Kol trying to make it easier on her. He doesn't work to rebuild his relationship with Marcel or the witches or even Josh. He just pops in and out (yes, I know it was partly due to them both dying constantly) of her life and her feelings are just expected to be there.

This idea that Davina sees Kol as "the best of the Mikaelsons" also just highlights how little she actually knows about him. At least with Cami and Klaus, Klaus has told Cami nearly every awful thing he's done. She is going in with eyes wide open. Even Elijah and Hayley, Hayley knows who he is and even goes into his mind and sees it first hand. Whether they would have ever gotten back together after that is up for debate (they would have, there's no debate), but again, she is making an informed decision. Davina sees Kol in isolated instances where their goals align. And when they don't Davina is just expected to put hers aside and go along with Kol, which the audience is okay with since it's supporting the fan fav family.

The version of Kol we get in season 4 and 5, the small glimpses we see, are don't have anything in common with the Kol we knew throughout TVDU. Like I said in my post about Kol's development, he essentially becomes whatever character the show wants him to be. There is zero reason given for his development other than him falling for Davina. I'm sorry, but men do not just change who they fundamentally are because they fall in love and that is a dangerous message to put out there.

To me Kol and Davina were a plot device to make Davina more hesitant to go after the Mikaelsons and to also cause conflict within the family. They have some cute moments, but I never truly believed their love for each other was anything more than infatuation.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry if it wasn't what you wanted

<3

*Marcel when he finds out Kol is the witch Davina's been seeing*

[cowgurrrl]

Killer

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's Note: FINALLY

Summary: “God is fucking with my oblivion. If he wants forgiveness, he shouldn’t have given us memory.” — Fish in Exile by Vi Khi Nao [2.7k]

Warnings: canonical type violence, PTSD symptoms, implied past violence, probably incorrect wound care, vague mention of Joel's sobriety, maybe love is enough to keep us alive

She's still shaking when you manage to get her to sit down long enough to look at the blood on her face and hands. Most of it isn't hers, but you can tell by the disengaged look in her eyes that she still paid for it. It isn't until you get some food and water in her that she seems more present, more there. You somehow convince Joel to wait for you in the living room instead of standing menacingly in the doorway with the shotgun still slung over his shoulder. Besides, he definitely popped his stitches and got a few more injuries for his troubles and should not be standing longer than necessary. 

"I'm gonna clean you up and then see what I can do about your bumps and bruises. Is that okay?" You ask as you pull out the first aid kit you managed to save from the flames. She just nods, and her fingers flex against the lip of the tub she's sitting on when you raise your hands. 

You explain every movement as you swipe the cold washcloth across her sensitive skin. She flinches if you move too fast or unexpectedly, her body jerking in the direction of the door. You have to shush her and drop everything when she does to show her your nonthreatening hands. As if seeing the empty space in your palms will ease the tension in her shoulders and erase the memories from her head. You breathe deeply, and she copies you until she relaxes enough for you to continue. It takes a long time to get a full inventory of her injuries. 

The notch on her nose isn't deep enough to need stitches, but you can tell it's shattered. From what you can immediately see, she has a broken nose, a concussion, and signs of smoke inhalation. Most of her injuries seem internal, too far away, and come with weeks of recovery time. The only ones you can treat outright are the burns and cuts on her hands and forearms. Even those you can only bandage and wait.  

"Is anything hurting that I can't see?" You ask gently, and she nods. "Where?"

"My…" her voice is crackly and seemingly too deep to be hers. She has to clear her throat to continue. "My ribs."

"Is it okay if I feel around to see if any are broken?" You ask, and she nods hesitantly. Carefully, you put your hands on her sides and apply some pressure every time you feel a set of ribs. She hisses when you press on the seventh and nearly jumps away when you move down to the eighth. "Hey, you're okay. I'm not trying to hurt you," you soothe. "It feels like you've got at least two that are broken, okay? They'll heal on their own, but it's gonna hurt like hell for a few weeks."

"Hurts like hell now." She mumbles.

"I know." You say, wishing there was more you could do. Little by little, she tells you everything that hurts, and you can tell her what's wrong— or, at least, what you're pretty sure is wrong. Without access to X-rays or real tests, everything is a best-guess diagnosis. "It looks like I've got some ibuprofen in here. That'll help with your pain for a while. It's completely safe." You say as you dig through the first aid kit and put two tablets in her hand. She hesitates, her eyes flicking to the door, hiding the two of you in the bathroom. 

"What about Joel?" She asks.

"There's more than enough in here for the both of you," you say and pass her a half-empty water bottle. "Please, just take them." It takes her looking at your supplies and ensuring you have enough to take them. She winces when she swallows but doesn't complain as you search for bandaids to cover her nose and burn cream for her fingers.

"Is he okay?" She asks so quietly you almost missed it. She's really asking if he's gonna die. If something is going to go wrong again and pull him into the bottomless pit of unconsciousness. If you're going to lose him. You screamed at her the last time she asked you that, and the memory makes you sick. She's staring at you like a dog waiting to be kicked when you nod. 

"He's gonna be fine. Might've ripped a stitch or two, but it's nothing we can't handle." You say, but she doesn't look comforted by your report. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I'm okay." It's easier than talking about the burns on your arm from trying to get in the building. Or the painful creaking in your hand that's surely the result of breaking bones across men's faces. Or the devastating flashbacks you fought through when Ellie tried to tell you what happened. 

"I'm sorry." She mumbles. You press your elbows to your knees and lean forward so she can't avoid you. 

"Look at me," you urge, not daring to say another word until she does. "I'm not mad at you. Joel is not mad at you. None of this is your fault," she tries to open her mouth to argue, but you raise your hand to stop her. "I was too hard on you when Joel got hurt. I expected too much of you, and that's not fair. I'm the adult. I should've been shouldering the brunt of it, not you. I'm sorry." She doesn't say anything, and you shift uncomfortably as you think. 

"Y'know, there was a long time when I didn't travel with Joel. It was just me. I was trying to get to Boston, and I tried to do everything right. I didn't get too close to QZs. I didn't light fires. I didn't trust anyone else because I…" you stumble. "I know what men do to women who are alone with no one protecting them." The confession settles in the space separating you. You don't need to say anything more, and she doesn't need to hear more. Your eyes sting, and you take a shaky breath to compose yourself. "Nobody can blame you for doing what you did, is what I'm trying to say, I guess."

"I… I didn't know what else to do," she whispers, tears shining in her eyes. "I was so scared. He got in my head. He wouldn't stop talking. I just..." she trails off and shakes her head. "He said I was like him."

"Sweet girl, you are nothing like him." You say, but her jaw flexes in protest, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'm violent. And angry."

"So am I," you say. "I'm angry every day, and I don't handle it well. You've seen it. Am I like him, too?" You ask, reaching out to wipe a tear away before it can fall down her chin. She freezes for just a second before leaning into you, letting you take the weight of her head in your hand. You tuck her into your chest while she's still pliant and rub her back as her cries turn more into anguished sobs. "I know. I know," you tell her over and over again because you do know. "You're nothing like him, honey. Not even close."

She cries and bangs her fists against your chest angrily and spits every curse she knows. She will never get to be the little girl she was when she left Boston. He took that from her, and she has to learn to live with that. You can handle a few more bruises if it means she feels better for even half a second. You let her do whatever she needs to do until she wears herself out and her tears slow. When she's done, you give her more water and food before scooping her in your arms and carrying her out to where Joel is waiting.

He looks up from where he's anxiously pacing, his right foot taking more of his weight than his left, and glances between you and Ellie. Quickly, he sets up a makeshift bed for her on the old couch equipped with a sleeping bag and blankets, balling up his jacket as a pillow. You lay her body down as softly as possible, mindful of her broken ribs, and she curls up the second she touches the familiar material. You sit on the couch with her, playing with her hair and rubbing her back until she falls asleep. She smells like smoke and sweat, but you don't care. Joel acts as a quiet sentinel by bouncing his eyes from you two to the room around you like someone could come in at any point with weapons and ill intent. 

Your fingers linger on the side of her neck, feeling her pulse against your skin as if to affirm that she's real and alive and here before you look at Joel. He looks as shaken as you feel. It was close. Closer than you've been in a long time, but she's alive. All three of you are, but at what cost? You swallow thickly and hesitantly stand from your perch next to Ellie, and Joel reaches for you, but you put a finger to your lips and gesture toward the bathroom. If she wakes up, she'll never go back to sleep, and she desperately needs rest after the past few weeks. He obediently follows you into the bathroom, and you leave the door cracked enough to see Ellie sleeping on the couch and for her to see you if she wakes up. You can keep both of them safe from here.

"Your turn, cowboy," you say as you put on a clean pair of gloves. He settles against the sink, sighing and shakily lifting his shirt to show you his stitches. About half of them held, and there's a slow flow of blood from the cut. Nothing to worry about. "You want anything for the pain?" You ask, and he shakes his head, jaw flexing. 

"No, no. It's fine. There's probably some adrenaline left or somethin'." He grumbles. 

"I'm sure that's how science works," you tease to lighten the mood as you gather the suturing supplies. He watches you with weary eyes like he's waiting for you to inject him with something else. You show him your gloved hands, containing only the needle and thread, and he takes a deep breath as he looks at you.

"I trust you," he says quietly. You think about pushing him to take something— anything— if it means he won't suffer, but you know it's a battle you'll lose like you always do. You might as well save time and just work. 

He's mostly quiet during the whole procedure, only letting out little huffs and grunts when you get to particularly sensitive areas. You mumble apologies and updates as you maneuver the needle as seamlessly as possible. Before, you didn't have the brain power to count his stitches and were, honestly, too scared to. There were too many factors against you, too much blood, too much fear. This time, you count all twenty-seven of them. He bleeds a little more, but it clots quickly and doesn't happen again once there's a neat line of real sutures across his stomach. You tape the bandage to his skin and pull his shirt back to cover it. He'll need a new one soon or, at least, a wash. 

Ellie's breathing is the only sound as you look for newer injuries. Bruises here and there and more broken or fractured bones in his already half-healed hand, but that's it. You stand from your place on the closed toilet lid to check his pupils for any signs of a concussion, but the second your face is close to his, he leans in just enough to kiss you. It's a welcome shock. 

When was the last time you kissed him? Jackson? Boston? In some distant time before Ellie? You never thought he'd open his eyes ever again, let alone be standing in front of you and kissing you. His lips are cracked but firm and familiar. His beard scratches your skin, but you can't be bothered to care. There are much worse things than the sting. His hands hold your face, and you want to fall into his chest, but you don't, conscious of his fresh stitches. Ellie mumbles something in her sleep, and you immediately break away from each other to stare at her through the crack in the door. She shifts but doesn't say anything else or show any signs of distress. When you look at each other again, his shoulders fall slightly. His hand lingers on your chin and turns your head a little to the left. "You've got a black eye." He murmurs, and you shrug.

"Yeah, David's guys got a few good hits in." You say. He looks over you, silently searching for something, and all you can do is watch him. He must seen how sullen and dead your eyes have become in the past few weeks. You've lost weight, so Ellie wouldn't. Your face is still dirty, and your hands are weak. You're not much to look at, and yet, he can't stop staring. 

When Joel suddenly found strength after hearing you yell after Ellie as men surrounded the house, you didn't necessarily have time for a warm reunion. You only had time to hide and wait for them to descend the stairs to the basement, where you could knock them around until they hit the ground. Even once the wheezing lungs returned to normal breathing and silence filled the house, you didn't talk about much more than getting Ellie back. 

Then, just like you did in the QZ, you did what you do best. You hurt people to get what you needed and killed them when you did. Joel screamed in their faces and demanded answers while you wiped blood from your hands and packed up your stuff. He finished them off brutally and without hesitation. It's the meticulous strategy and killing that reminds you of the Joel Tommy and Maria were so worried about. The one who didn't give two shits about his own life, let alone somebody else's. The one who was motivated by his pre-Outbreak work ethic to keep the monsters away, even if he became one in the process. The one who you met and worked with until the lines blurred. That Joel.

But in the dim light of the bathroom, with the smell of blood tinging the air, you can't find any traces of him. You only have the Joel you've come to discover on this journey, the Joel that was always hiding under the surface, the Joel you love. You take a deep breath and stare at him like if you look away, something will happen and try to kill him again. 

There's so much you need to talk about and plan for. You all need to recover and make up for lost time. You need to apologize and take care of them until it feels like it's enough to heal the pit of guilt eating away at you. You need to figure out what's next. But you can't find it in yourself to recount the events that happened while Joel was unconscious on the basement floor. Not yet. The only thought you keep circling back to is the exact one you've spent years pushing away and berating in hopes it would stop invading your psyche. Now, it feels unavoidable.

"I love you," you say. You're not quiet or hoping that he's deaf enough to miss it. You say it with everything that you are because no part of you has gone untouched by him. He kisses your forehead and pulls you into him.

"I know," he says simply. Years of tension and unspoken thoughts release from your shoulders, and you bury your face in his neck. "I love you." The syllables sound sweet as they break over his southern accent, and you want to wrap them around you for the rest of your life. You want to try to make a life where you can do that. You want him. You want a soft, happy life with Ellie and Joel where you don't have to morph into old forms to stay alive. 

You want a soft future, and if you have to bite and kill and scream to get it, then that's what you'll do. Nobody will ever take them away from you again.

[avelera]

i agree with you and I don't like the Armand is alice theory. since Claudia died, we have 0 main female characters. This theory seems like an attempt to erase a minor female character who had an impact on a main male character life. Sometimes I felt like the iwtv fandom is hostile toward female characters. It also remind the fan that Daniel wasn't a good husband or a good father and a very flaw character who hurt a lot of women, not in a criminal way but he was surely an asshole. In fanfic, he doesn't have any flaw and is often victimize. The fan wants him to be a Marius hater, when himself forced a girl to put a paperbag on her head to have sex with her. She cried a lot but he didn't stop. I don't think he's aware of concept like "consent" or sexual assault. He was mostly a cheater with his wifes and an absent father to his daughters. And I feel like the fandom can't accept this so 1) they erased Alice 2) they made all his life about Armand when it wasn't. Because no matter how his life was, how he was a sexist asshole, it was the life he chose and Armand was a part of it but not the center. I like him, but not everything is about Armand and he's not Armand's savior or Armand's redemption or Armand's soulmate.

I think there's a lot of valid points in what you're saying!

I think fandoms in general have a tendency to polish off the rough edges of their favorite characters and Daniel is absolutely going to get this treatment by the fandom. It's pretty much inevitable but I don't blame people for doing it in their fanworks, that's just how fandom works.

I completely agree that a tendency to make Daniel's whole life about Armand would be a disservice to the character, especially Old Man Daniel who has lived a rich life on his own and if he had a relationship with Armand in the 70s, he's had half a lifetime or more since to live completely independent of Armand (perhaps thanks to Armand wiping his memory of that relationship, perhaps not). Regardless, it's a pretty common angle for fandom to take, especially when shipping two characters. The focus will be on the relationship and so the focus will be on making that relationship central to who they are often to the exclusion of all else. Certainly as maker/fledgling, these two ARE going to mean a lot to each other going forward too. But yeah I agree that erasing Alice or making Alice Armand is a denial of the long, independent and complicated life that Daniel lived completely without Armand.

But I also completely agree that Daniel was, canonically, not a good husband or father. He admits it himself. It's at the absolute core of who IWTV Show Daniel is. It's at the heart of his acerbic personality, his regrets, his terror at the thought of dying because he will be dying alone and unloved, and his relentless pursuit of the truth with Louis and Armand because he thinks the only thing valuable about himself that he has left is his skills as an investigative reporter. He has by his own admission fucked up every personal relationship he's had by being a complete asshole but that asshole flaw in his personal life was a virtue in his professional life. He is a relentless investigative reporter in part because he's a complete asshole. He wasn't able to shut that part of himself down when he was with his loved ones and that's why he has no one he loves in his life who wants to be around him, but he is still an award winning journalist. It's to me what makes him an interesting and complex character. If you polish that away, if you make him nice rather than a flawed man who is trying to do better (until maybe he's not, once he's a vampire) I'm not even sure why you'd be writing his character instead of an OC, it is what makes Bogosian's Daniel unique even as compared to the book version of the character.

The whole point of IWTV is that these characters are complex and they are ugly, they are monsters and they are human, and as Santiago says we should remember that when we put them on trial. This is a central theme of the show. This theme extends to Daniel too. Claudia is a victim of her horrible circumstances but she's also a bonafide serial killer of thousands of innocents. Louis is a soulful and tormented person who also murdered his way through the San Francisco gay population in the 70s as viciously as any epidemic. Madeleine was a collaborator during WWII and as much as we might debate how much of a choice she had in being one if she wanted to survive in WWII Paris, she was also completely unbothered by the idea of becoming a serial killer in order to gain immortality.

We are being asked by the show to hold the dichotomy of these characters in our heads, we are being asked to love them as humans and be horrified by them as monsters at the same time. Anyone who tries to polish the rough edges off these characters by having them be moral paragons is, I think, entirely missing the point of the gothic moral complexity of the show. No one is innocent, not even the interviewer. Daniel was an asshole to his loved ones. We can still feel for the fact he's afraid of dying, either to his chronic illness or to the vampires he's interviewing. That isn't something to be avoided by the viewer, that is the exact complexity we're being asked to engage with. Then again, fanworks serve a different purpose so people should do whatever they want with the characters there, this is just to say that the core story that I think is what attracted many people to IWTV is about moral complexity and it's a shame when that element is removed, at least when it comes to my personal enjoyment as I can't speak for others.

There are a couple things I disagree with though with what you said or want to address with a bit more nuance below the cut.

I don't think the fandom is hostile to women as such. I admit, I don't really know it well enough to say one way or another, but I'm always hesitant to apply such a sweeping criticism of a large group of people. M/M slash fandoms tend to focus on the male characters, it's just how it is. But IWTV gave us a beautiful f/f relationship with Claudia and Madeleine and I see a lot of appreciation of them and their relationship on my dash. Fact is, there's just not as many female characters as male characters in the Vampire Chronicles by at least 2:1. So naturally the fandom will focus on the male (and more importantly surviving) characters.

As for Marius, I don't think we have an answer about him yet within the show. What we have is that Louis called Marius Armand's pimp and we have show Armand telling us that Marius was his whole world but also that Marius prostituted him to visiting friends.

That is completely contrary to what we learn about Marius in "The Vampire Lestat" and "The Vampire Armand" books. If it's true, it's an invention of the show. Marius in the books specifically allowed Armand total autonomy in his sex life after he freed him from the brothel because he wanted Armand to have a full life before he became a vampire and Marius even then was very resistant to turning Armand or indulging in Armand's crush on him, and the only reason he turned him as young as he did was because Armand was dying. So until we get a more objective answer about what Marius and Armand's relationship was, not as it's told to us during a vicious fight between Louis and Armand or a very complex moment of self reflection tinged with bitterness, I am hesitant to say Marius is a villain in the way the fandom has decided he is.

However, if the show decides that based on Marius's actions in the book, the richer exploration in their reinterpretation of his character is that he had a highly questionable, even groomer relationship with Armand, I'd be all for it. It's a completely valid interpretation of the character in a reexamination of the text and one I trust these writers to bring a lot of complexity to. But I do think it's going to be more complicated than it appears based on the two mentions of Marius we've had so far because everything in the show has been more complex than it seems. Marius is 90% a protagonist in the book, he's one of the most universally beloved vampires in the entire vampire world for his wisdom, his humanity, his care for others, and for taking on the duty of caring for Akasha and Enkil when it was a very dangerous and tedious thing to do with little reward besides survival (and he was almost killed over it too multiple times). So it's a BIG change to make him a villain to a modern audience by making him Armand's abuser instead of his patron and inspiration (until they were cruelly separated) as he was in the books. I'm curious to see how they handle it once Marius is cast.

Now, how Daniel and Marius are going to interact is going to be based on the complexity of how we see Marius objectively in the show, outside of the flashbacks, in my opinion. I'm very curious to see how that turns out but again, remember these characters are monsters. I think assuming that Daniel's reaction to Marius will be 100% negative is premature.

And one more thing I disagree about is the idea that Daniel doesn't know what consent or sexual assault is (unless it was a typo and you were referring to him in the past, not in the present?).

I think Daniel has deep regrets about how he treated that girl when they were both teenagers, and he has deep regrets about how he treated his wives and his daughters. I believe he is haunted by these parts of himself. So I disagree with the characterization of him as being somehow unaware of consent or sexual assault. I believe that the incident with the girl when they were both teenagers was a particular shameful, ugly memory that Armand dug up specifically because it was an ugly, shameful memory of a time that Daniel was cruel and monstrous that he still feels shame about to this day. Armand dug it up not because it was something Daniel thinks is fine that he did, it's something that disgusts Daniel about himself.

But it's also, not to excuse it, but it's a story from when he was young and stupid, not a pattern of behavior we see coming up to the modern day. This is something that haunts him and that he's learned from. Old Daniel is a man who has been an asshole and who has learned a lot of lessons from it, mostly in that he gained many regrets in his life. But Old Man Daniel is introduced to us as someone who remains an investigative reporter because he wants to do some good for the world. It's the one thing he has to offer the world as he is dying. He views his job as a reporter as a sacred trust and we open with him talking about the ethics of investigative reporting. From that I think we can deduce that Daniel is very aware of consent and things like assault and just why what he did as a teenager was wrong. In his way, I think he sees being a reporter as him trying to be a good person.