#{{ plus I like their connection to the abyss; so I feel like that would be something interesting to explore. I mainly blame tumblr art }}

[carlottastudios]

Every day I get closer to making an unhinged behemoth of a post listing all of the things about Kaeya and his possible connections to mythology & stuff that I notice but NOBODY ELSE SEEMS TO BRING UP IN THEIR THEORIES

(edit: OMG I reached the tag limit I'm so sorry)

[frozenambiguity]

whats a kaeya ship you like? :D

Ooc; Hi there! Ehm... As much as I would love to provide a detailed answer, the truth is... I don't really know what to tell you. I'm mostly neutral on ships, you see? Kaeya is not a character that focuses on romance that much ( flirting is different, of course ), so he tends to not look at fellows from that specific angle. Plus, he is a... complex and difficult person to deal with, to say the least.

Kaeya is a character that requires a lot of investment and time in order to be shipped with, considering his background, personality, and views on affection/vulnerability in general. If I have to be honest, I'll say that my opinion on specific ships evolves and depends on Kaeya’s interactions with muses here! That is not to say some ships do not have more potential than others, they do ( due to canonic relationships and character dynamics ), but... yeah! I'm pretty open to exploring everything and anything.

As long as there is chemistry, I'm good to go!

[absentia-if]

I'm looking for more interactive fiction games to play and I was wondering if you have any particular favourites?

I’m a hermit when it comes to the community as a whole— mainly staying in my own little corner, but I have been able to meet some amazing Author’s during my stay.

Citadel by @bouncyballcitadel is an absolutely amazing medical drama IF. An amazing cast of characters, both romance and non-romance, and real life experiences, and knowledge, fueling the writing in such a way that makes you feel extremely connected to the plot and the MC. I highly recommend it.

An Affair of the Heart by @doriana-gray-games is another amazing IF that I strongly recommend. Not only because I absolutely adore Dori, the sweetest of sweethearts, but she makes the world of Sherlock Holmes come to life in such a way that I can’t even truly describe— Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would be proud of her, I can tell you that much.

Novaturient by @kalorphic is an amazing spy IF that has a lovely cast of characters. It’s not as serious, or it’s not supposed to be as serious, as some of the other titles that I’ve mentioned, but it’s such a fun time all the same— it doesn’t have too much in the form of a demo, as of yet, but I think you’ll enjoy getting to know the cast on Ella’s blog all the same. (She also has another blog @ellawrites-if that I think you should check out too.)

Next in Line by @nextinline-if has been a fun read since I’ve started it. Not to mention Vi is an absolute delight to speak with. You have a little bit of everything when it comes to the romances, and who doesn’t love being royalty too? I think you’ll have a grand time with the story, and getting to know everything you’d wish to know about it, as I can’t recommend it enough.

Abyssal by @theabyssal is a great game with an amazing premise— playing Death itself ticking a lot of boxes for a variety of people. It’s quite angsty, as I feel like I should warn you, but the writing is immaculate and you’ll be pulled into the inner workings of a world that you have to find a place in once more. Plus, the ROs are absolutely amazing too.

A World Without You by @jaunefleurwrites has been an amazing read. It deals with the realities of death while still being alive, an ever growing entity that always looms over us all, but it’s still an enjoyable read even if it does have a sadder undertone. I highly recommend it (plus Damin is a sweetheart).

The King’s Hound by @the-kingshound is an Arthurian IF that I think you’ll find yourself drawn to. It has found family written all over it, with tinges of angst and drama strewn within, that I think you’ll enjoy. It’s an amazing story, with an amazing cast, and I think you’ll enjoy it.

Past Imperfect by @past-imperfect-if is an IF with only a singular RO, that’s semi-customizable, and only has prologue released so far, but I strongly implore you to check it out as I think you’ll enjoy the premise of it. (Plus, my friend is the main creator for it and I know she’ll absolutely love to have someone as wonderful as you check out her story.)

Kingdoms and Empires by @kingdoms-and-empires is an amazing high fantasy game that I think you’ll enjoy. It has a wonderful world, that seems dynamic around the MC, with an amazing cast of characters that I think you’ll find yourself growing attached to. If you enjoy fantasy, being a royal, and wish to be along for a long ride? This story is definitely for you.

The Scars I Live With by @thescarsilivewith-if is also an amazing premise that I absolutely adore. It doesn’t have a demo yet, but I think the cast of characters that have been introduced as well as the world building will be able to be just enough until one is released.

If you want more of my stories? I have three other main stories that I’m working on— even if they’re on a semi-hiatus as of now.

Heart of Flames is a dragon rider story where you take on the role of one of the newest dragon riders within Haven, and it expands across the world of Gallinia as a whole. @unforeseenflame

Scandal is based off the show of the very same name— Scandal (by Shonda Rhimes). It’s genderlocked female though, just want to warn you. @nightingale-interactive

Path of Fire is a dragon-shifter IF wherein the MC is the last of the Dracaryean and their journey in discovering what that truly means— not only for them but for Ioria as a whole. @eleanawrites

[swordscleric]

I don't know if anyone's gone through the original Dawn War pantheon* and compared the events of the Dawn War to the events of the Calamity, but it's interesting comparing how Tharizdun acts in the Dawn War to how little we know about it as the Chained Oblivion and might be useful as a theory-crafting aid for how the Chained Oblivion fits with Predathos**.

In the Dawn War, Tharizdun was a normal god, driven mad by extradimensional demons who provided him with huge amounts of power and attempted to force him to open a portal in the Astral Plane to release them. He took this power, and instead of releasing them created the Abyss. He and his would-be masters fought to a stalemate over control of the Abyss, until the rest of the pantheon found out and sealed him away, leaving him chained to a remote part of the Abyss[1].

By contrast, the Chained Oblivion is "something other entirely"[2], "less like a god and more like another world"[3]; it's been categorised as not of the Primes or Betrayers[4], and generally Matt has leaned much more into the cosmic horror vibes (sans a connection to the Far Realm) of the Chained Oblivion. It's a creature of "roiling ink and hungry darkness"[5], and was sealed at the bottom of the Abyss by the Dawnfather and the Knowing Mistress, with support from the Allhammer and the Changebringer[2, 3, 6]. The Chained Oblivion also wants to consume all and end the world and is kept at arms length by the Betrayers[5], and as a result of that plus its association with an unknowable hunger some people have now associated it with Predathos or think it and Predathos are of a similar species.

I think the Chained Oblivion is not Predathos in another form, but I do think that it's of a similar species. Looking at the Dawn War, and assuming (with the full acknowledgement that I'll more than likely be wrong) that Matt will stick as closely to the Dawn War as he has in the past, I think the Chained Oblivion is a smaller and weaker being of nothingness that decided to forge its own path instead of following Predathos' lead. My gut instinct is that the Chained Oblivion, seeing Ethedok and Vordo get eaten, took up Ethedok's mantle of darkness[7]*** and avoided working with Predathos and porentially fought the God Eater in order to survive and work its own odd plans of destruction. The Chained Oblivion makes a lot of plans to try and free itself (see the Angel of Irons or Cognouza), so I wouldn't be surprised if its propensity towards planning was present from the very moment it set foot on Exandria. Does this mean the Chained Oblivion will be let loose to fight the God Eater if Predathos is released? I doubt it, considering that it nearly killed the Knowing Mistress. And we know how the gods feel about family.

Footnotes

*The Dawn War pantheon is the slimmed down pantheon used for 4th edition D&D; can be found on page 11 of the 5th edition Dungeon Master's Guide. Used by Matt for the Primes & Betrayers with the addition of Sarenrae from Pathfinder.

**I'm aware of the pitfalls of using existing narratives and non-Exandrian lore to try and predict what's going on in CR at this moment in time; while there's not a 1:1 overlap between other D&D worlds' lore and Exandria, some of the major relationships do stay the same. For example, Pelor, Ioun and Tharizdun are all linked in Exandria and in D&D "canon" (Pelor, Ioun and Tharizdun all looked into the Far Realm and saw mysterious secrets, secrets which drove Tharizdun to want to destroy the universe as per Gates of Madness (2010). Additionally, Tharizdun is deeply associated with the Abyss across both settings). Bear with me.

***Zehir, the Cloaked Serpent is also associated with darkness; however while the Lawbearer and the Platinum Dragon are associated with order there is no explicit god of order which was Vordo's other domain. The Chained Oblivion is explicitly described as a god of darkness in both the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount (page 27) and the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn (page 34).

References

1. Demonomicon (2010), pages 7-9. The wording of how the sealing took place is intentionally vague as it's a plot hook for DMs to expand on in their campaigns.

2. Titles and Tattoos, CR Campaign 2, Episode 84, from 14:00.

3. Explorer's Guide to Wildemount (2020), page 27.

4. Matt's Discord post during Nick Marini's AMA (linked here).

5. Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn, page 36.

6. The Endless Atheneum, CR Campaign 1, Episode 106, from 1:08:16.

7. Axiom Shaken, CR Campaign 3, Episode 43, at 3:02:19.

[pjsk-headcanons]

ok maybe first part of hollow knight headcanons for pjsk. favorite areas (including sub-areas like kings pass and stuff)!! these are mostly based on vibes so feel free to kill me in the reblogs

oh and SPOILER WARNING

ichika: in my heart she'd be a mantis village stan. she would like most of fungal wastes but mantis village is especially.

saki: the logical answer would be crystal peak bc pretty crystals but NO!!! i mean she'd like it but i want it to be truth she'd be massive resting grounds fan.

honami: greenpath seems about right. leisurely stroll time for her. plus LOOK AT THE MOSSKIN

shiho: she's tell people either abyss or howling cliffs but in reality shes a greenpath truther. again LOOK AT THE MOSSKIN (can you tell i like the little shrubby guys)

minori: fog canyon or crystal peak, more fog canyon bc its a pretty area and its connected to a bunch of places too

haruka: queens gardens stan alert. im right and you know it

airi: my first thought was gonna be resting grounds but like... she'd fuck with kingdoms edge. i know this in my heart

shizuku: forgotten crossroads. i was gonna say howling cliffs originally but nah she'd vibe in crossroads. the betrayal when infected crossroads tho

kohane: city of tears? yeah. city of tears. probably specifically right side city tho

an: hmm.... she'd vibe with crystal peaks. maybe a love-hate relationship with deepnest though. nosk scared her half to death tho

akito: the heart is telling me deepnest. he likes sitting in galiens room. may or may not be because it's farthest from kingdoms edge (makes sense in a bit)

toya: soul sanctum, i think he'd be obsessed with the ost and constantly refight soul master in godhome

tsukasa: is it not obvious. cool glad we're agreeing on city of tears. wait, you thought i was gonna say crystal peak?

emu: crystal peak truther. also she would only have 8 3/4 masks bc even though she knows the last mask shard is behind enraged guardian she doesnt want to disturb crystal guardian. consequently would not have that bench.

nene: multiple favorites because of different reasons. kingdoms edge bc she vibes with it hard. dirtmouth because of grimm troupe. queens gardens because of white lady and pretty. godhome because she can fight everyone again (can you tell im projecting except for godhome)

rui: oh how i WANT to say royal waterways but nah. deepnest vibes

kanade: white palace. the ost, lore, and overall vibes are all there. i think she'd be interested in the ost the most

mafuyu: city of tears left side. or abyss/all of ancient basin but thats not her fav anymore post 3rd anni

ena: kingdoms edge bc of multiple reasons, pretty landscape (looking at you top bench), good ost, farthest from deepnest (see what i meant), hornet fight (in my heart favorite npc in ena's eyes). also oddly reminds me of the what lies ahead, what lies behind set

mizuki: crystal peak stan but also just adores all of the top of hallownest (howling cliffs, king's pass, dirtmouth, crystal peak)

- 🦊

.

[nomsfaultau]

What does being human mean? What would happen to a person if you took their humanity away?

man that’s deep. Hope you're ready for a philosophical info dump! Fault spoilers abound though not really of the plot variety. Tw dehumanization, obviously, plus suicidal ideation mention.

On a very technical level it’s Homo sapians. Like that’s literally just it. (though as a bio major I must add that the concept of ‘species’ is incredibly flawed and so some may consider other hominids humans idk man) As for Fault, Tommy’s DNA is still human. Just because [redacted] happened doesn’t change the fact he is in a human body. His kids would be human. When his body decays into soil, is it still human? Probably not, by the way I instinctively used it to describe the corpse. So then the humanity is stored in the ba- soul. The soul encompasses the summation of that persons consciousness, and so therein lies their personhood. (Now dichotomy between spirit and flesh is false (emotions and memories being created via brain goop) but this ask can only withstand so many digressions. Let’s just say the body influences the soul and move on.)

Which could make the collective Tubbo human, due to having human souls. By that logic you can say The Blade is human, too. Like you could argue that…but does it matter? Does saying they technically are or are not a human change the person before you in a tangible way. I don’t think Fault souls are divided into human/all others dichotomy because I don’t think Wilbur’s soul is different from Tommy’s on a mechanical level. In Philza’s musings, he prizes humans for their creativity, but reflects that they aren’t unique in that ability, only in the scale they’ve managed. So mostly, being human is being yet another type of sapient creature and is largely defined by biology.

There is a divide between a Real and Conceptual soul, but as we see with Phil one can become the other. What I find more useful is the concept of personhood, which encompasses the ideas of someone’s humanity (things like agency, some type of perceived intrinsic value, consciousness, compassion/connections, etc) without strictly tying to a biological yes/no answer. Real souls act pretty solidly as people regardless of humanity, but idk about Conceptuals. I’d prefer to think that Niki is a person, but is Greg? Are random abyssal hands? Weird eldritch plants? It’s messy.

When Tommy lost his Red in the Grey Period, it’s arguably the most traditionally human he ever is in the main body of Fault. At least, the Foundation began considering the possibility of re-classifying him due to lacking anomalous properties. And yet in Tommy’s reflection upon the event he declared:

[“That wasn’t humanity!]…[It was hatred, and terror, and sorrow all writhing beneath a numbness so thick I couldn’t even remember to breathe. I didn’t even want to, sometimes. I may have never been human, but I wasn’t even a person then.”]

In the removal of the support pillar that kept him alive in the hell hole that is the Foundation, Tommy didn’t feel like he had enough value to be a person at the very moment the Foundation had to begin debating if they should consider him one. Which really just proves the disconnect between being human and personhood, and that personhood is defined by the individual’s judgement of value for both themselves and others, and so isn’t a firm metric within the Fault universe. It's somewhat analogous to respect.

Which leads to the second question. Fault deals heavily in themes of dehumanization, even if the person in question isn’t human. But if you want to talk literally and strictly humanity: no, if you believe in the afterlife, which Fault takes no stance on except if you count Tubbo and the voices as a form of afterlife, which I do. Otherwise, yes, using a gun.

When you take away someone’s personhood, it’s a pivotal step in oppression. The moment when it’s permissible, or even right, to harm them. It is easier to abuse something instead of someone, and thus it’s integral to the Foundation that anomalies are not people. And you can destroy parts of someone’s soul and therefore their personhood, be it magically, mechanically, or manipulation. The Foundation does so frequently to anomalies (and humans but the Foundation’s fascism is another essay), in isolation and destroying the bonds between community friends family, in ripping out the memories that people use to compose an internal narrative of themselves and the world, in stripping anomalies of names and calling them numbers and titles and slurs and objects and its, in manipulating their emotions to demonize weaponize control them, in stripping away rights and dignities like privacy, healthcare, freedom, safety. Aside from the amnestics these all are very real ways people are dehumanized. Tommy’s humanity was taken when he was told he’s a monster so often that he believed he could never be anything else, believed he had no agency, believed he didn’t deserve relationships with others, believed his life held no inherent worth. Essentially, it’s trauma. Deep rooted, the kind that destroys how one perceives themselves. Or, how one views a scapegoat population.

There are of course fantastical methods of removing personhood in Fault, usually targeting the soul quadrants.

True Name: this one is nebulous, but encapsulates a person’s agency. What they choose to be, what they long for. It includes self and external perception. Practically, this is propaganda, coercion, persuasion, and labeling (such as monster, hero, weak, what have you). Magically, you can destroy one’s True Name and thus their agency. What was originally a person is left a husk devoid of motivation. They still have things like obligations, emotions, memories left, but don’t want anything, have no will. Kinda stand there and breathe if not under orders. Plus no one can use that person’s names/pronouns anymore, the name ripped out of the world.

Emotion: The most mundane, heavy in the manipulation side. On the magical front this will be getting into Niki territory. The erasure or over ride of emotions that a person really feels that can push them to act in ways they normally wouldn’t depending on their control. But this is also Tommy territory, over riding what a person feels with unfathomable blood lust, driving them to act like a monster. Red is a huge way the Foundation dehumanizes anomalies by forcing them to murder D-Class in the name of research. Against pacifists, it’s a very direct hit to the self-perception. Easier to think you’re a monster when you’ve acted like one. Plus, easier for watching humans to believe it having witnessed horrific acts. And as a bonus treat death row inmates like animals to slaughter for the sake of curiosity.

Bonds: There will be like a whole villain exploring this magically, and has big implications for the vessel/Conceptual power system. Essentially ruin the Power of Friendship and Found Family tm. Practically, it’s textbook manipulation and isolation. Conceptuals cannot break bonds, promises, bargains, obligations, what have you. So for them, that destruction would have horrific implications that probably rip their soul apart physically. For Philza, being bondless means not being a person at all. For Wilbur, growing up cut off from society, it meant becoming human racist. But people also already break their bonds all the time; renege on a contract, break up with a partner, disown kids, skip a day of work, what have you. Sometimes it’s not very harmful, but also losing his bond with Philza immediately made Tommy suicidal, so it really depends on the person and what bond it is. Alternatively, forging a bond. The Blade literally gained sentience through his situation with The Blood God. But Rosalind joining the Hive made her literal less human, so again, depends.

Memory: There’s corrupting memories through introducing eldritch trauma, which can be things like learning forbidden runes that could end the world if uttered, or might explode one’s head, which isn’t much in the way of dehumanization. Proper Void metafictional madness is mostly isolation, existentialism, and nihilism which is already rampant, particularly in the form of conspiracy rabbit holes.

Amnestics are also magic aligned albeit of sci fi flavor, though brain trauma, dementia, amnesia, dissociation etc are real world forms of memory loss. I’m not here to claim people with dementia doing have a soul? Like for the record? But that memory loss can be a massive struggle and make it difficult to function. The amnestics are intentional tools however. Self perception of personhood is reliant upon an internal narrative, which for Philza was ripped out and replace with agony, confusion, fear as his relationships, memories, and synapses were artificially destroyed. (Aha what’s that? The false dichotomy of the spirit and flesh rearing its head again?) His dehumanization was rather literal as losing grasp on his personhood through blows to his memories and relationships directly led to losing grasp on his physical form. In retrospect, Philza considered it the closest to dying he’d ever come in his immortal life. Him lashing out in a rather animistic fashion further justified the Foundation’s dehumanization of other anomalies as yet more fuel for the propaganda machine. (Though he was still fully cognizant for the first amnestics massacre, so no getting off the hook for that one.)

So what would happen to a person if you took their humanity away? Trauma. Which is the answer to a lot of questions about Fault. Trauma, ptsd, suicidal ideation, eldritch madness, or possibly mass murder. Of course you also have characters like The Blade who are dehumanized constantly but are confident enough in their own sense of self that they’re mostly fine, so really depends on the character on how dehumanization affects them.

[nadas-dirthalen]

love your posts!! what are your thoughts on the secret, post-credit scene we can unlock?

Hey friendo! Thank you! 💛 Lemme try to articulate my 2am thinking lmao.

My thoughts, right now, are a FUN tangle, hahaha. In my current (second) playthrough, I am making an effort to gather as many codices and mementos as I can, plus screencapping dialogue as I am able, because of that secret ending.

Something is happening with the Forgotten Ones/the Forbidden Ones — something that has me examining all mentions of both and evaluating the potential relationship between the two. That secret ending has Anaris and his ilk written all over it... somehow. I feel it in my bones, after doing Bellara's quest finale for the second time. The ADHD pattern recognition senses are tingling.

I'm thinking that BioWare are heading toward clarifying something I've guessed at: that the Fade is the sundered collective consciousness between all Titans. The Forgotten Ones and the Forbidden Ones would be similar, then: two sets of sundered (Titan?) spirits kept trapped. But trapped where, trapped how, and trapped by whom?

I keep coming back to this mural from Trespasser.

We can see a Titan having its spirit (middle) sundered (left and right). One half produces a golden orb, like we see Mythal and Elgar'nan using in the Veilguard murals. Those are the "vessels of dreams" that get referenced: the magical foci. That half (left) is also painted around emerald waters: that's Fade imagery. The other half (right) also creates an orb, this time surrounded by stone that signifies the Abyss. But that's odd, since that would imply that half of the Titans' spirits are still underground, in the Abyss.

Trespasser says the Forbidden Ones were forbidden from taking physical shape; the Forgotten Ones are trapped down in the Abyss and are (presumably) the piece of Titans responsible for the blight. Harding says in Veilguard (as well as Solas) that it was the Titans' twisted, maddened dreams that caused the blight. So I do think there is some weight to my interpretation of that mural, and it might not just be Titan hearts down below the Deep Roads, but pieces of their broken spirits, as well.

Maybe this (a haunting in Arlathan) is referring to that, subtly: that there are spirits in the Abyss that are missing their own dreams. It's hard for me to say for certain without devouring every memento to get more of a hold on what Veilguard is telling us about the Fade in relation to the Titans, and how exactly "having their dreams stolen" works with the existing magic system. (It does work, I just need to figure out the specifics!)

The only other thing I have to go on is the revenant "the Slaughtered Pillars" says "Light and song, stolen" as a piece of its combat dialogue. "Slaughtered Pillars" represents the slain pillars of the earth — the Titans. "Light" is used all across Dragon Age to refer to the Fade. Therefore, the Titans are lamenting the loss of the Fade, which suggests they were connected before the Veil.

See how I'm going around in circles? That's because I need more specifics! Right now, I'm just going off what caught my attention during my first ~100 hours in the game.

As one last piece: I swear I saw mention that it was Solas who banished the Forbidden Ones from having physical form, but I have to do a bunch of things like finding those notes and comparing them against previous mentions in Trespasser before I have a clear answer.

I need a lot of specifics, still, clearly!

It's one of the big topics I hope to cover in my "did I get it right" followup. Unfortunately, with the DA wiki not updating (or me being allowed to contribute/edit for some reason), it's going to take me longer to compile everything.

I hope this answer suffices for now!

[bluegekk0]

Did Hornet or Grimm ever tell FPK about Ghost? I feel like he would merit some mention from either of them, (I will ask vessel related questions till the day I die or think of something else)

They did tell him! It was one of the first things they told him about since he was curious about the infection stopping. And of course he was, I mean, Grimm told him that he could sense that The Radiance was dead (they were siblings so he would be able to feel her absence), so naturally FPK was really curious as to who succeeded where he failed.

Of course, no one knew what exactly happened, but it was easy to connect the dots and assume that Ghost had something to do with it, so they were seen as the savior. Hornet would have the most to tell him since she met them multiple times, but because at that point she was still angry at him, he didn't want to bother her too much, so he didn't learn the full story until a bit later when Hornet toned down her anger. He did eventually hear from her that they went down into the Abyss and that they were going to face their sibling in the temple but never showed up, suggesting that they found another way to stop the infection.

Grimm didn't know as much about Ghost as Hornet, he only met them once when he gave them the charm that would summon his Grimmchild form, and he never saw them (or the charm) again. But he did notice that they were determined, plus he saw that they had both Kingsoul fragments, so he also suggested that they must have been the one to wake FPK up. So that was another clue that helped FPK piece the story together.

I imagine he also asked around the town, since he heard many mentions of them and the fact that they saved everyone. Elderbug, Cornifer, Iselda, even Bretta and Zote, they all had something to say about them that painted a clearer picture of the vessel. Quirrel eventually visited the town as well, and he also had quite a lot to say about Ghost and their journey, such as confirming that Monomon was in fact dead, as well as some information about where they traveled, since he bumped into them many times.

So while he may never learn everything about the Ghost of Hallownest, he knows enough to feel proud of them. He also found some comfort in knowing that his plan wasn't all a failure. Of course it doesn't excuse the cruelty, but at least it wasn't all for nothing like he thought before. It was, after all, one of the vessels who stopped the terrible infection, just not in the way he anticipated.

There's also the fact that, unintentionally, they allowed him to find his family again and live a happier life. They freed Holly from the temple, they led Hornet to wait there for them, allowing her to meet Holly and take them to Dirtmouth, they summoned Grimm's troupe to Hallownest for a ritual that never finished, and, of course, they woke him up from his slumber. So he visits the shrine made in their name quite often, to apologize for all the suffering he made them and their siblings go through, and to thank them for the second chance he was given. He never met them in person, so this is the best he can do to show that he's proud and grateful.

[restlessmaknae]

came the light // lee byounggon [bx]

As a princess in exile with a bad reputation, you can't understand why Byounggon would want to spend time with you, but there's no stopping him, let alone the feelings that he evokes in you.

➳ Characters:��magical medic!Byounggon x princess!reader/you

➳ Genre: romance, fantasy, magical realism, kingdom au, angst, fluff

➳ Words: 10.2k

➳ Warning: mentions of fire, having a fever, arranged marriages, a prince grabs reader by the wrist without permission

➳ Spotify playlist (title is taken from 'Here For You' by CIX)

➳ A/N: This story had the third most votes in my recent poll, so I hope it lives up to your expectations. 🥰

Check out the fall into you, my abyss // CIX magical kingdom series masterpost!

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town, @tsunchani, @s00buwu

You were 18 years old when your parents first tried to wed you off to a prince, but his timid self stood no chance against someone like you - someone whose words were like knives aimed perfectly at his heart, cutting into his insecurities and weaknesses. The wedding proposal was called off right after your first encounter with him.

You were 20 years old when your parents tried to wed you off to a prince from a different kingdom, hoping that the rumours about you that had spread over the years died down enough to not scare his family away. You might have spoken with knives, but Prince Sangdo didn’t obey any rules, he overruled them. Even if you asked him to keep his distance - to respect your privacy -, he didn’t listen to you. A week before the wedding was supposed to happen, he visited the palace, he visited you in your chambers uninvited, and what happened afterwards put an end to this wedding as well.

You didn’t regret it one bit - in fact, you wished Prince Sangdo could have rotted in a faraway place -, but it was you who was sent far away from your kingdom, from the cages of the palace where you had grown up. You were sent to Medicalia - the kingdom where some people possessed magical healing powers. Magical medicine was mostly used on the members of the Medicalia royal court including the royal family and the royal army, plus magical creatures that lived in the woods or in the mountains - such as fairies, unicorns and werewolves - or serving the kingdom - such as dragons guarding the palace. Magical medicine was also extremely rare since only magic practitioners could deal with it because they were the ones born with the ability to tame magic, but even they needed thorough practice and extensive training to be able to make use of their abilities to their full potential.

At least, that’s what you were told when you were ordered to pack up and leave after an exchange of letters between the two kingdoms. The magic in your kingdom - Animalia - lied in the ability to tame and speak to animals, and that’s exactly why most kingdoms were always indebted to you. You sent people to other kingdoms to tame their animals - such as the dragons guarding the royal palaces and the unicorns that had an excellent smell to detect magical plants - you shared your magic with them whereas it was extremely rare for other kingdoms to share their magic with others. For instance, Medicalia reserved their magical medics for the royal court while Naturalia boosted the magic of nature, and the trading of their magical plants was limited to their kingdom only.

That’s why it was ridiculously easy to send you into exile in another kingdom, and the only thing your father - the King - said before leaving was to not make more trouble. You were sent off in a carriage with a coachman and a servant, not even a royal guard was sent with you. Then again, what could they possibly guard? You weren’t worth their protection, for sure. You didn’t need to be told that you were only one mistake away from being disowned by your own parents since you were an asset, nothing else. A strategic move, the key to a strengthened connection between kingdoms and a woman forced into producing heirs.

The carriage suddenly came to a halt, but since the curtains were closed, you couldn’t peek outside. Based on the coachman’s muffled conversation from outside, you had a feeling that you were about to go through the gates of Medicalia’s royal court as it was around time you arrived.

A few minutes later, the carriage stopped again, but this time, there was a thud as the coachman got off the carriage and opened the door. He reached his hand out to help you down before doing the same for the servant girl they sent with you.

“They have sent word that we arrived, so they will be here soon to guide you to your… new home,” the elderly man laughed nervously after he stumbled upon the word. Indeed, what could he call it? Home? Runaway hideout? Prison?

You could feel the curious eyes on you as you stood there with the coachman and the servant girl in front of the carriage with your kingdom’s symbol painted over it, waiting for someone to show you to your place. Even though it was kept secret why you were coming here in the first place, you knew that these things didn’t stay a secret for long - at least, not in your kingdom.

“Is she the princess from Animalia?”

“She looks younger than I thought.”

“Is it true that she nearly killed a prince?”

You looked the woman in the eye who asked the last question, and she immediately sealed her lips, grabbing the arm of the woman beside her and turning around to go in the opposite direction. Your gaze didn’t waver, you looked straight into the wandering eyes of the strangers - court ladies, soldiers and servants passing by - with your chin up high. You only seemed weak when you let it show, and you didn’t let it show.

Most, if not all, people looked away when you caught their eyes, and it was almost amusing how they scampered away when they realised that you heard them. So naive of them to assume that you shut not just your ears but your eyes to the rumours around you.

There was one particular boy - a young man probably around your age - who stopped dead in his tracks when he caught sight of you, squinting his eyes at you. You looked back at him, taking in the messy midnight locks that stuck to his forehead, his sharp jawline that was in contrast to the bright, gentle edge to his almond-shaped eyes, his plump lips that failed to curl into a disapproving line like most people’s who caught your eyes. He wore a burgundy-black tunic that seemed to match the ones others were wearing around you, but it seemed more practical with its bat-wing sleeves than elegant, so you had a feeling that he wasn’t of royalty.

You tilted your head, still keeping the eye-contact, and that’s when he looked away as if he was suddenly reminded of why he was passing by, and started running again. You furrowed your eyebrows in question. What was that about?

You shook your head as a court lady came up to you to assist you with your baggage and show you to your place. You had a medium-sized room to yourself in the court with a bathroom attached to it, the rooms on your end still unoccupied and waiting for possible future guests, except for the one that they reserved for the servant girl who came with you. You were told that the Queen would welcome you the following day, and the same court lady who escorted you would bring you breakfast, lunch and dinner from the royal court kitchen, you wouldn’t need to fetch it yourself.

You thanked the young woman with a bow and a polite smile, and you saw surprise flash across her orbs as she let you settle into your new room. You didn’t ponder over the change in her expression for long, you were used to it after all. The cautious glances in your direction, the nasty gossip behind your back, and the sugarcoated words to coax you into a favour.

Too bad you weren’t one to play the dumb and ignore it all, you stood up for yourself, but that’s exactly what your parents disapproved of, that’s exactly why you were here.

Days passed by, and you seemed to fall into a routine in the meantime. In the morning, you would go for a walk in the garden of the royal court, sitting by the pond as the sun rose on the horizon, breaking the plain surface of the water into many different colours of ripe orange, rose-gold and wild apple-red. The court was tranquil at this time around, and that’s exactly what you needed. Apart from the kitchen staff who woke up early to prepare breakfast, others weren’t up around this time, so you didn’t need to bear more curious glances and more nasty accusations.

After your morning stroll, you would head back to your room, have breakfast, then read until lunchtime. Afternoon was served for whatever purpose the palace had for you: the day after you arrived, you met the Queen, after that, you met Princess Jinhee, on the third day, you were shown to the library of the court (a smaller version of what the royal family had at the palace, but nevertheless as impressive), and today, you were on your way to meet with the ladies who took care of handiwork including embroidery, sewing and tailoring.

The Queen said that these first few days will be about showing you around the court, so you knew whom to ask in need of assistance, and so that the court members could become familiar with you. You didn’t ask whether it was to dissuade their gossip or not, but you didn’t need to know that. After all, it was a wise suggestion on her part, and it wasn’t something you had complaints about. Here, you could freely roam around (with your servants following you if needed), you could spend time reading and painting in your room, and no one would ask you why. Here, you could bathe and clean yourself, you could choose and put on your clothes yourself, you didn’t need others to do it for you. Here, you could eat whatever they offered you, your meals didn’t go through your mother’s restricting wishes.

This day too, you were followed by Huisoo - the servant girl who came from Animalia with you - and Sieun showed the way - the servant girl who was appointed to you in Medicalia - as always, but as you turned a corner, the young man with the squinted eyes from last time halted beside you, his mouth forming a big ‘O’ as he caught sight of you.

“Are you the princess from Animalia?” He asked enthusiastically, and if you didn’t know any better, you would assume that he had heard only good things about you before.

When you nodded, still cautiously watching out for the change in his body language, his lips curled into a smile, the kind that made his eyes disappear. Then, he put his hands on his abdomen before bowing in a 90 degree angle towards you. 

“My name is Lee Byounggon. I work as a magical medic for the royal family, so if you need any assistance magical medicine-wise, do not hesitate to ask for me,” he introduced himself when he straightened his back, the smile not fading from his lips. Despite his otherwise sharp and cold features from the day you had gotten here, he seemed gentle and warm now. The way he approached you also showed that he wasn’t one of those court members who passed by you as quickly as possible, he introduced himself head-on. He was the first one to do so which made you question:

“Aren’t you scared of me? You must have heard the rumours.”

Byounggon either didn’t seem fazed by your question or he was prepared for it because his facial expressions didn’t change. He was also really easy to read, something that you had not been so used to since so many in the royal circles put on facades to hide behind including you.

“You know… I have a special ability,” the magical medic took one tiny step towards you as if he was about to tell a secret. “I can see into people’s souls through their eyes,” he added with a smile, but you merely rolled your eyes. Even though you were not born and raised here, you knew that such magic didn’t exist here or anywhere else for that matter.

Byounggon also sensed that you didn’t believe him in the slightest because he burst into laughter in the next second, and only when he composed himself, did he continue.

“I’m just kidding, but really… you don’t look like you wanted to hurt that prince, not on purpose for sure,” he explained rather candidly, and you didn’t feel like he was lying. Lies could be covered up with smiles, laughs, sarcasm, diverting the topic or simply escaping the situation, but he… he didn’t look like he was telling a fib.

“You don’t know anything about me,” you pointed out rather coldly nevertheless, your tone intended to lash out at him.

“That’s exactly why I don’t believe the rumours. Why should I judge you when I don’t know you?”

You weren’t one to get surprised, but this did take you aback. The way he said it so unwaveringly was new, unfamiliar. You weren’t used to it, especially not after what had happened to Prince Sangdo. Byounggon didn’t seem like he had ulterior motives to be trusting you like that, but you couldn’t let your guard down over one supportive line.

So you excused yourself, explaining to the magical medic that you were on your way to the handiwork ladies, and told the servants that you could go on. The young man seemed saddened by your sudden announcement, but he did let you go, waving in your way as you were walking away from him.

You were sitting by the pond as always, watching the sunrise a few days later. It would be another day you spent away from Animalia, and you had this pang in your chest that you couldn’t explain. You didn’t miss how you used to live in that palace, you didn’t miss the bravado you had to put on to seem like an obedient, perfect little daughter, you didn’t miss the way you were mocked for not having magic in your veins when both your parents - your mother could tame fire because she was from Elementalia and your father could talk to animals because he was from Animalia - and your sister did. Until the day your magic had surfaced, at least. Afterwards, you were a curse, the mistake in the carefully crafted plans, the wrong in all the rights and the flaw in the flawless family.

You didn’t miss any of it, and yet… you couldn’t quite get used to the freedom that you had here. Despite the fact that you were in exile, you didn’t feel like a prisoner here. Sure, you weren’t invited to Prince Jinyoung and Princess Yunkyeong’s wedding because so many other royal families would be there, and it was your parents’ wish not to be seen at such events, but otherwise, you could be free. You were no one special here, and you liked it that way.

“Oh, I see someone else is also an early riser!”

A cheerful voice disrupted your silent pondering, and you snapped your head back at the sudden visitor. You let out a sigh when you locked eyes with the not so unfamiliar stranger, and turned back to the pond in front of you instead.

“You must have been deep in thought, you didn’t even see me walking towards you,” Byounggon continued despite your attempt at ignoring him, and he only halted when he reached you. You could feel his gaze on you, curious yet tentative, but you didn’t respond to it, you continued looking ahead.

“I was, and it’s because I’ve never met anyone here at this time of the day before.”

“Well, consider yourself lucky today,” the medic blabbered cheerily, and without thinking twice, he sat down on the bench beside you. When you finally looked at him - deeming his action rather brazen -, he was already looking at you, and when you locked eyes, he flashed you a dimpled smile. Why he was grinning at someone like you - a princess from a far away kingdom with a bad reputation, someone who had supposedly almost killed her husband-to-be - was beyond you. Did he have no care in the world? Did he have no fear? Was he merely naive?

“Are you that bored, or are you just set on annoying me?”

“Annoying you?” Byounggon’s smile faltered, his bright features darkening. He looked so hurt suddenly, you almost felt bad for implying something like that. “Am I really annoying you?” He inquired, blinking rapidly with his ocean-deep, jet-black orbs, swimming in genuine care. When you looked him in the eye, you felt like looking into something rare, something precious: like a gemstone containing unknown magic, hidden away from the world for its power. And you… you were probably the last person who was worthy of seeing such a treasure.

You cleared your throat and averted your eyes to the pond, unable to bear his gaze any longer.

“I’m not used to company around here, and I didn’t expect anyone today either,” you blurted out honestly, feeling exposed for what your words might indicate. Maybe the magical medic also felt the weight of it for he seemed compromising instead of butthurt or overly nosy.

“Well, I can leave if you want me to,” he suggested right away, and he got to his feet even before you could tell him to stop. However, when you did confess that he didn’t have to leave, you could feel the grin spreading on his face even without turning his way. Gosh, why did he have to smile so brightly all the time? It was so… unusual for you.

Instead, you asked him to tell you something that he felt like sharing. Like an arrow that was fired, the boy’s words came on suddenly and flew like a river. He didn’t seem to be able to stop from the moment he started talking about his best friend, Seunghun, who was a soldier here, and with whom he had a special connection. When he said that it was a secret why, you rolled your eyes, assuming that he was joking yet again.

However, after he shared with you that he had actually saved Seunghun’s life, you thought that maybe he wasn’t lying about it. Seunghun’s parents had died when their house had caught on fire, and he would have died with them too, but Byounggon - who had been a little boy back then just like Seunghun himself and who had been living close to Seunghun’s home - had noticed the fire and dragged the boy out while risking his own life. His magic had barely resurfaced before the incident, but it had come out in full-force while he had been trying to save Seunghun’s life.

Then, Seunghun ended up at the palace with Byounggon and Byounggon’s father - who was a magical medic himself -, and they had been friends ever since. The two of them with Prince Jinyoung used to play hide and seek in this very garden before, and while he was talking about his childhood days, his eyes twinkled in a different light.

“Have you had friends like that, too?” He posed the question in his good-willed innocence when you were at the topic, but you could merely scoff.

“No. I had no friends at the palace. I couldn’t even consider my sister my friend even though she is only two years older than me,” you confessed, your words loaded with bitter poison. You had always been pitted against each other with your sister, and even though you had tried to make her see you as more than just an enemy, your sister had never let you. So gone was the naive little girl who had believed that she could make everything right if she had given her share of the cake to her sister or to give her the brand new doll you had gotten for your birthday, and it was replaced with the girl who was too mature and wise for her age, nevertheless all too pessimistic.

“It must have been lonely,” Byounggon broke the silence suddenly, shattering your flashbacks into tiny little pieces. Reality struck you hard, his words even more so, and for a moment, you felt like you were about to cry. So you pressed your lips tight and dug your nails into your skin, holding it in.

The medic might have sensed your discomfort or he merely wanted to fill the silence. Nevertheless, he started talking about the upcoming Festival of Day and Light to change the subject, the usual yearly festival for the fall equinox, and why it was special for them. Supposedly, they commemorated the gift of light while also appreciating the fact that darkness was needed for light to exist, so they lit candles while thinking of their loved ones, wishing them a bright year. The best way to light candles was to put them in lanterns and to place them on the little boats that were waiting for them by the riverside, and to watch them float away.

“You should definitely come celebrate it with us. There’s always a fun celebration outside of the court, and there are all kinds of delicacies and music and…”

“Why would I go? It’s not my tradition to celebrate,” you cut off his enthusiastic chatter, but he just shrugged his shoulders, his casual way of handling your harsh words resurfacing yet again.

“I wasn’t notified that the fall equinox was created just for our kingdom,” he counter-attacked playfully, and even though you were about to open your mouth to go against him, you realised that you couldn’t. He was right.

Hence, you bit your tongue, and didn’t say anything, just let him talk about whatever came to his mind until you were called for breakfast by Huisoo who seemed quite surprised to see you talking to the medic by the pond. What could you say though? You were surprised, too.

Two weeks later, when you finally managed to fall asleep after tossing and turning in bed for hours, shivers running up and down your spine, you dreamed of a fire.

You were standing inside the fire, the flames dancing around you, and whenever you tried to move, they followed you as if they were your shadow. You looked left and right when you heard a cry on the other side of the fire, and even though you should have felt scorching hot, you could only feel icy numbness taking hold of your legs, unable to move. The cry grew louder and louder until you had to put your hands on your ears to block the frantic sound out. Then, someone called your name, and when you tried to block it out too, invisible arms started shaking you. You fought back, tears pricking your ears, but the arms just wouldn’t let go.

Your eyes bolted open at that moment, but you didn’t feel any better. In fact, you felt even hotter than in that fire, and when you looked at the figure standing above you, his arms holding onto your shoulders, you realised that the part about being shaken must have been real. So had been the part about someone calling your name.

“Princess Y/N, it’s me. Huisoo told me that you weren’t feeling well last night, and you didn’t show up at the pond today, so I came by to see if I could help,” Byounggon explained slowly, gently, as if talking to a child. Then, when he caught sight of you staring at his arms on your shoulder, he let go of you, albeit a bit embarrassed.

You just blinked at him, trying to focus on his face instead of letting the nightmares take hold of you again, but it was difficult when all you wanted to do was to close your eyes and lie in bed. Your head was throbbing, your whole body was quivering, and the last thing you wanted to do was to have a conversation with Byounggon even though he seemed genuinely concerned about you.

“Where does it hurt? How long have you been having a fever?” He asked seriously once you regained more consciousness, and even though you were reluctant to tell him because you didn’t want his help, you were too run down to care.

So you told him that your joints had been hurting since last night, just before dinner, and you had a fever since midnight or dawn, you couldn’t tell because you had been drifting out of dreams (or more like nightmares) for the most part. Byounggon insisted on helping you after hearing about your symptoms, but you declined, saying that you had been used to dealing with such things on your own in your kingdom.

“Does it mean that I have to watch you suffer just because that’s what you’ve been used to?” The medic exclaimed, rather desperate, and even though you knew all too well what he was referring to, you couldn’t help but feel exposed. Wasn’t that what you were doing now? Suffering on your own, like the strong daughter and the perfect princess you had needed to become, just because you had never been treated otherwise? Because you could never show any sign of weakness, let alone accept someone’s assistance when they were willingly giving it to you?

“Fine. Do as you wish,” you gave in after defeating the voices in your head telling you not to let him help you. You were so tired, your body felt like it was twice its weight, and your eyes were heavy with sleep and the last remains of the terrifying nightmare you had, the last thing you felt like doing was arguing.

Byounggon immediately broke into a relieved smile, and as he was getting ready, he started talking about what he was about to do. Supposedly, one’s centre of energy was around their abdomen, so he needed to put his hand on your stomach to be able to heal your energy centre. If you had been in your right mind, you would have probably backed down on your word at this part, but you were still half-conscious, so you didn’t care, even when he touched you. He touched you so gently though, you could barely feel his featherlike touch.

He closed his eyes while he was working with his magic on healing you, and his lips sometimes twitched, probably from concentration. May it be because of his magic working or because you could look at him more closely like this as he was crouching down by your mattress, but you realised that there were dark circles under his eyes. You were reminded of what Sieun had told you a few days ago, that the magical medic had asked her about your daily schedule, especially about when you usually went to the pond. Sieun had told you that she didn’t know why he was asking, but you had a feeling why.

Byounggon must have been waking up earlier to talk with you by the pond, and the fact that he got worried because you had not been there this morning as you had done so for the past two weeks made you feel delirious, as if he was a poison you had a sweet taste of, but you couldn’t let yourself have more.

“It’s done,” the medic announced, dragging you out of your thoughts, and as your head cleared, you realised that your body felt light again. You put your hand to your forehead, but it didn’t feel hot. You pushed yourself up to a sitting position, and indeed, you didn’t feel feverish anymore. It was as if you had just woken from a good night’s sleep.

“Wow, princess, take it easy! You should still rest, you don’t want this illness to come back,” he advised, eyebrows furrowed in worry, and now that you had the energy to smile, you directed a friendly one at him.

“It’s alright. I feel good thanks to you,” you pointed out, and you saw how he tried to hide the grin that was creeping onto his lips. He failed though, alongside the pink that was tinting his cheeks, and the way he needed to clear his throat before he spoke up again.

“Well, it was nothing, really,” he shrugged off your compliment, averting his eyes elsewhere but your face. You were about to ask him to tell you how his magic worked when he caught sight of your paintings, the canvases resting by the wall.

“Did you paint them?” He inquired, a pure kind of curiosity lighting up in his eyes, and you didn’t have the heart to lie to him. So you told him the truth: that it was you, and that you had been painting for some time though your mother had never approved of it since she didn’t deem it appropriate for a princess who should have been learning how to engage in polite conversations and seducing princes instead of doing art.

“Seducing princes? Do you really learn that?” Byounggon asked, rather surprised, but there was a playful smile hiding in the corner of his lips. It seemed that even the medic himself couldn’t decide how much to believe your words.

“Well, she wanted me to. We had books on them in the library, and there was a teacher giving lessons on courting, but he only succeeded in teaching my sister. I made him give up after two lessons,” you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly.

“Wow, you are so…”

“So?” You quirked an eyebrow challengingly when he seemed to search for the right words. Usually, when you gave people this look, they backtracked, and started babbling or changed the topic, but the medic didn’t.

“Admirable,” he decided on it a few seconds later, and your features softened. It was as if someone had offered you some quiet after the cacophony of the royal events you were forced to attend: you felt comforted, and your heavy heart felt a bit less tight. “I applaud you for how you speak your mind. I find it refreshing.”

You found his approachable personality refreshing too, but you couldn’t tell him that. After all, what good could that lead to? You had already let down your walls around him enough times, you were afraid that if he kept going, he would see behind that admirable facade, and see you as you were: terrified of history repeating itself and being far from perfect when it came to reciprocating other’s kindness. You didn’t deserve his care, you didn’t deserve his kindness.

Instead of commenting on his words, you asked if he had any duties he needed to attend to, and now that you reminded him, he realised that he should go to the palace indeed. However, before he could leave, you thanked him for healing you, and if anything, he gifted you with the widest smile you had seen on him.

“Anytime.”

Coming from him, accompanied by the comet of affection travelling through the galaxy of his jet-black orbs, somehow, you didn’t want to question the sincerity of his words.

The court was in a frenzy because of the upcoming wedding, but those who had some spare time still decided to go to the yearly Festival of Day and Light. You had contemplated not going, but when you asked Sieun about the festival, her whole face lit up, and you had a feeling that she would want to go.

So you told Sieun and Huisoo that you would head out to check out the festivities, but they could go their separate ways afterwards if they wanted to. The girls both objected fervently, but it was only until Huisoo was ever so obviously swept up by a handsome young man with shoulder-length hair at a flower stall, and the other met someone she had known before because then, both of them excused themselves. Which left you alone with the sugarcoated apple in your hand that you had bought for yourself - and one for either servant girl -, strolling around the main market square where the festival took place.

There were all kinds of games for kids who ran around without a care in the world while their parents were running after them or cheering them on. Beside the games, stalls of delicacies - ranging from sugared fruit to freshly-baked bread and dried figs coated in cinnamon - were lined up like tiny little stars dotted on the canvas of cobblestones. Beside the riverside, people either lit up candles or placed them on the little boats that waited by the sides just like Byounggon had told you so. The whole festival was full of cheers, laughter and life, topped by white and yellow decorations in the shape of the Sun, the Moon and the stars.

Despite being an outsider, you could feel the kingdom pulsing with the energy of its people, bright and cheerful. When you had been living in Animalia, you had visited the festivities outside of the palace maybe once or twice as a kid, so to be able to see how ordinary people celebrated such a meaningful time here warmed your heart. Suddenly, you felt like you were being surrounded by a community instead of being left alone in the vastness of the icy, jarring unknown.

Maybe it was because of the sentiment or because of the eager ladies by the riverside handing out candles, but you found yourself lighting up one of them when you found a part of the riverside that wasn’t as crowded as others.

“You do know that you need to make a wish when you light a candle. Otherwise, it will be pretty but less meaningful,” a familiar voice spoke up from behind you, and you hid the smile that was creeping onto your lips with a frown.

“You do know that you seem to spend an awful lot of time with me these days,” you pointed out when Byounggon halted beside you, and flashed you a wide smile, the kind that turned his eyes into little crescents resembling the moon above you.

“I am just keeping an eye on you. I wouldn’t want a princess to be sick again or to be sick of boredom,” he retorted cheekily, and you bit your cheek to not smile back at him as brightly as you could. He kept his eyes on you, and the way the moonlight reflected in his orbs and cupped his features in a magnificent halo mesmerised you for a moment. He didn’t need light to shine, he was so bright, so full of life either way, but under the crafted lines of the moon, you wondered what it would be like to make a painting of him one day - and whether you could capture his features as gracefully as your eyes did now.

Byounggon did develop a habit of accompanying you on your morning stroll. Sometimes he was early, more often he was late, but he did show up every day without fail. When you questioned if he had nothing better to do, he said no, and that he was actually looking for company for his morning walks, too. If you hadn’t heard from Sieun that the medic had specifically asked her about your morning visits to the court garden, you might have believed him, but since the servant girl’s remark, you couldn’t have fought the seed of hope that was blooming in your chest.

You let him join you, and you let him talk. You got to know all kinds of stories regarding court life here, and childhood stories of his soldier friend, Seunghun, and Prince Jinyoung, more or less funny ones that cracked up the medic, too. You also got to know about current affairs of the kingdom, and how Prince Jinyoung’s heart was someone else’s, but he couldn’t love her fully because he was going to marry a princess for a favourable trade deal. When you inquired if the wedding could be called off because of the prince’s feelings, Byounggon shook his head, a bitter smile tinting his lips - something that you had ever so scarcely seen on him. You hadn’t been in Prince Jinyoung’s shoes because you had never wanted to sacrifice an arranged marriage for a genuine love, but you could understand why it was difficult for him to marry for convenience.

You liked when Byounggon was talking because you could get to know about how things worked in the kingdom, but you could also get to know about him and his (adorably) gullible personality and his (precious) big heart. Once you realised that his intentions were truly pure, you let yourself be comfortable around him, including this day.

“So you came here to make a wish?” You quirked an eyebrow when you caught sight of a candle in his hands. The medic let out a deep, joyous laughter before answering.

“Well, I came here because I saw you, but yes, I also have a wish,” he flashed you a wide grin, and as he crouched down to put his candle into a lantern, you couldn’t help but ask:

“What are you wishing for?”

“It’s a secret,” he winked at you playfully. If he had been someone else, you would have probably felt offended by the gesture. However, it was him, and you knew him well enough by now, so you merely rolled your eyes at his antics.

“Fine. I won’t tell you mine either,” you retorted with a huff as you followed suit, and lit your own candle. He helped you put yours into a lantern, and placed them beside his own on a nearby boat. You waited a few minutes until the boat was filled up with lanterns and a man pushed the boat off the railing to let it float, to let it get further away from you while you were making a wish.

You watched it go with a sentimental smile, thinking of how much had changed in the last few months, so that you could be a part of a festival like this and wish to have many more moments like this - when you forgot about who you were, and let yourself be, let yourself rest after carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

“You seem to be happy now,” Byounggon remarked gently, quietly, no hint of playfulness in his voice after a few moments of utter silence. You looked at him, humming a yes, and let out a long sigh. When you inhaled, it felt like breathing in a whole new flavour of air.

“Is it because of me?”

Now Byounggon was teasing, his lips quirked up, but you had a feeling that he was doing it on purpose because he was way too pleased with himself when you laughed at the sudden change of the mood.

“Do you think it’s because of you?” You asked back, equally as curious as challenging. You knew that the medic would answer no matter your tone because he always did, and you liked that about him: that he was willing to speak his mind, even if it meant that he embarrassed himself because of his silly antics or that he made your heart flutter with a genuine compliment of his.

“I would like to think that, at least partly, it’s because of me,” Byounggon played along, theatrically placing a hand above his heart. He tried to remain serious, his features unwavering, but his lips twitched slightly, and his whole demeanour changed when he heard music coming from the main market square. They started playing a song - unknown to you, of course - on the drums and there was probably a little bit of guitar as well, and some instrument that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. Byounggon’s face immediately lit up hearing the melody, and it only took a few seconds until he bolted off, exclaiming that you should join him dancing while he was running off.

You followed him swiftly, and watched as he joined the circle of people who started dancing to the music. There were older people, younger ones, even little children, men and women alike, and the different colour and design of their clothes indicated that they were from different classes. You caught sight of Huisoo and the pretty boy from the flower stall in the crowd, and something in you twisted when you looked at them - so carefree, so joyful, so present in the given moment.

Then, Byounggon suddenly showed up by your side, and reached his hand out to you when the music stopped. You looked down at the boy’s hand, then up at him, into his almond-shaped eyes, and your first instinct was to shake your head and tell him no. The medic’s smile didn’t falter despite your hesitation, and maybe that’s what prompted you to take his hand and join him.

No one threw you a nasty glance, no one judged you for being there, no one cared, and honestly, that was the most reassured you felt for a long time. With your hand in Byounggon’s and in a little girl’s on your other side, you followed their lead and mimicked their dance moves. One after another, one after another, and then you lost count of the steps as you got swept up in the stomping footsteps and the echoing melodies.

You didn’t know how much time passed by - it could have been minutes or hours, you couldn’t tell -, but when the dance was over, and Byounggon inquired if you wanted to head back to the court together, you immediately said yes. It was only after a few seconds that you realised that the medic still didn’t let go of your hand, and you watched him take it away with a coy smile and a scratch of his neck.

And that’s when you realised that he was actually right: that he was a part of why you were happy here.

Prince Jinyoung and Princess Yunkyoung’s wedding took place as planned, and since Sieun was obligated to join because she was a part of the royal court here, you told Huisoo that she could spend this day however she wanted, you would be fine on your own. You didn’t like asking them for favours either way; since your mother’s watching eyes weren’t on you, you enjoyed that you could cater for yourself, and didn’t require their services as much. Both girls objected at first, saying that you were too generous, that’s why you started asking them to accompany you when they could break free from their role a bit - like at the festival when they could join the crowd or when you started going to the court kitchen to eat together with others instead of having your meals delivered to your room -, and you had a feeling that Huisoo would take the opportunity to meet up with the pretty flower stall boy from the festival.

That left you with much free time on your hands, preferably spent alone in your room, so you couldn’t bump into your mother who would attend the wedding and be reprimanded for being in the public’s eye. You spent the morning working on a painting of the riverside on the day of the festival, illuminated by the mysterious moon, and you spent the afternoon reading a book on the many magical creatures of the kingdom. You did have quite a few of them at Animalia too, but Medicalia boosted a high number of creatures that you had only heard of before, yet never seen them - such as phoenixes, kitsunes and caladriuses which supposedly had healing powers.

You were in the middle of reading a chapter about phoenixes when you heard a knock on your door. Expecting it to be one of the servants, you told them that they could come inside, but the knocking persisted. Hence, you rose to your feet from your crouching posture, and stepped up to the door to open it. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who was behind it.

“Mother!” You breathed out in shock, not expecting her to pay a visit to you after the wedding ceremony. She was all dolled up for the event, but the evident frown on her face ruined the innocence of the swan-white outfit she put on.

She walked into the room with much disgust in her eyes, and only after you closed the door, did she turn around to face you. You could already tell that she was frustrated, her feelings shown in the tight lines of her lips and the way she squinted her eyes at you. Not to mention her thundering voice when she spoke up.

“Didn’t I tell you not to cause trouble here? Didn’t I specifically ask you to not use your powers here?” She spat the questions like venom, her words sending a bullet through your heart one after another.

“I do not understand, Mother,” you answered, your heart wrenching at the thought that she could assume something like this when you had nothing to be ashamed of. You had not caused any trouble here, and you had never used your powers ever since you had entered Animalia. Even though it had been tempting because you had wanted to see what you could do with it if you had put effort into practising, but you had to bury the thought as soon as it was born.

“Oh, come on, you’re not a child anymore! Don’t play the innocent kid with me,” your mother striked again, and took a step closer to you, looking straight into your eyes when she continued. “There was a fire a few days ago in the palace’s kitchen. I’ve heard that they haven’t found what caused it yet, though it could have been simply out of negligence. With you being here, I don’t think it was accidental.”

For a moment, you had no idea what to say. Then, you felt your blood rise as you balled your hands into fists. Just how could she assume something like that on her own when you were totally innocent? Just how low could she stoop to make you play the bad guy when the fire in your room at the Animalia palace wouldn’t have broken out if it hadn’t been for Prince Sangdo’s lack of manners? Not to mention who was to blame for your powers? Wasn’t it your mother who came from Elementalia and had the power to tame fire?

“Do you really think I visit the palace each and every day, just to burn something there? Do you really think of me so lowly? I have not even set foot in the palace for a month, let alone create a fire in the kitchen, but if you want to blame someone, sure, blame me. That does not mean I am guilty,” you objected fervently, but before she could open her mouth to say something more, you continued. “I wish you would have made a scene like this when Prince Sangdo had come into my room and grabbed my wrist when I had asked him not to touch me that night. If I was guilty then, you would have had your reason to blame it on me now. But I was innocent and I am innocent now, it is only your perception of me that always makes me the bad one in your eyes. The child that does not sit back and watch injustice without speaking up about it, the daughter that would choose painting over marrying a prince, and the girl who did not seem to inherit your powers until she did, and then, you wished she hadn’t.”

Your words flew like the river during a storm - waves crushing violently, heavy winds catching the surface ever so indignantly -, and it felt like there was a thunderstorm in your heart. You wanted to fight, to punch the walls, to knock over the shelves around you - anything to make your mother go away, alas, you could only fight back with your words, and they even didn’t seem to reach her. If anything, they made her even angrier, no sign of remorse in her eyes.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that! A princess knows where to draw the line, but you… you are out of your mind, and being away from Animalia didn’t seem to help either. And I thought-”

Your mother’s words were interrupted by a few rhythmic knocks on the door, and you both snapped your head towards the sound.

“Princess Y/N, it’s time for your lesson,” a familiar voice called, and despite the fact that you had no lesson, let alone with him, you didn’t want to object. Your mother didn’t seem to think it through either, instead, she let out an offended huff and murmured into your ears before leaving:

“Don’t think that you can come back anytime soon with that attitude.”

You gulped down the knot in your throat as you watched her leave, and turned around to be with your back to the door, so that Byounggon wouldn’t see the way your hands were shaking when he came inside your room. You heard him close the door behind him, and fumble with something before he dared to ask:

“Are you okay?”

“How much did you hear?” You retorted back, standing by the walls with your back to him. You tried your best to hold back your tears, but you weren’t sure that you were doing a good job because you could feel your eyes watering despite your best efforts.

“Uhmm… I think everything,” Byounggon admitted after a long pause. You closed your eyes for a moment, the first teardrop rolling down your cheeks, leaving a cold streak behind on your warm cheeks. “I saw your mother leaving the ceremony, and I had a feeling that she would come to you, but I wasn’t sure. So I followed her here. I know it sounds very bad, but I was afraid that she would… do something to upset you or hurt you because you told me that she was the one who wanted to send you away, and I don’t know what exactly happened, at least I didn’t know until now, but I knew you didn’t deserve it, and it really seems you didn’t. And I just… I wanted to protect you from her. I’m sorry I was late,” he rambled incredibly fast, and the more he talked, the more heavily your tears were following.

You couldn’t understand how someone who had never met you could trust you and believe in your innocence even before you had met for the first time. On the contrary, your mother had blamed you for everything, and she had known the full story. How could someone be so pure to you? How could Byounggon care about you so genuinely, so selflessly? He didn’t have anything to gain from caring about you, yet he did so, and it just broke your heart even more.

You heard the medic take a few steps towards you, and when he halted beside you in a safe distance, he immediately caught sight of your silent sobbing. You looked at him from behind the curtain of your tears, watching how he was trying to gesture with his hands, but was unable to decide what to do. So you decided instead of Byounggon himself, and stepped up to him to embrace him.

“Thank you,” you croaked out, your voice coming out a lot more strained and fragile than you wanted to.

You could feel him loosen up, and slowly, gently, he put his arms around your frame, patting your back while you cried against his chest. He was warm, he was warmth itself, and you wanted to get lost in his touch, in his arms, in his voice.

“It���s okay. You can cry with me,” he murmured into your hair, his voice rid of any playfulness or teasing.

Tears like pearls fell onto the silk of his shirt, leaving behind more than just wet stains - leaving behind the last walls that you had been keeping up around yourself to protect yourself, all crumbled down now, and the stories he had never heard before, neither had you shared with anyone else since leaving your kingdom.

The following days, you were cautious about meeting Byounggon, secretly terrified that he would see you as a horrible person, that he wouldn’t understand your pain, and you would end up feeling lonelier than ever before. You had never opened up to someone like on the day of the wedding, and you were afraid that you would need to rebuild your walls, and never let anyone in, ever again.

On the other hand, Byounggon acted the same way, if not more protective over you. He highlighted how much people liked you here in the court, especially since the festival when you had gone out to celebrate with ordinary people, and how your own kingdom didn’t deserve you if they turned their back on you when you had wanted to protect yourself. What’s more, he pointed out that he would have been delighted to meet someone like you when he had been a child because taming fire would have meant that you could have helped save Seunghun’s parents when he had managed to save Seunghun only. Sure, power might come with great responsibility, but it wasn’t your fault that your power had surfaced at a time like that. It merely showed that you had been desperate back then, and no one had paid attention to that part of the story, they had been too quick to send you away.

You felt yourself becoming softer and softer towards the medic afterwards because he was everything you had never had the chance to have - the shoulder to cry on, the one who understood your body language even when words failed you, the boy who always asked for your permission when he wanted to come closer to you or hold your hand, and the one who would fight for you through thick and thin. You had never met a more considerate, more gentle soul, and even his goofy self was endearing to you.

Even when he claimed that he didn’t steal a flower (that allegedly resembled you in his eyes) from the court garden (“because it wasn’t considered stealing if he was on good terms with the gardeners”); even when he managed to fall into the pond when he got scared by a bee during one of your morning strolls, and even when he ran all the way from the palace to you because he thought that you were the one who came down with something in the court, sweating bucks because running wasn’t his forte, your feelings towards him grew stronger and stronger.

Not to mention the time he shared with you the secret he had been keeping about his friend, Seunghun. When he had first talked about the soldier, you had assumed that he had been joking when he had claimed that the reason their relationship was special was a secret. However, when he let you know that by saving Seunghun, he managed to keep him alive as a phoenix, it all made more sense. You could also understand why he was keeping it a secret because phoenixes didn’t have human forms, at least not ones that the books knew of.

You knew the part of the story that Seunghun’s parents had died when their house had caught on fire, and he would have died with them too, but Byounggon had noticed the fire and dragged the boy out while risking his own life. His magic had barely resurfaced back then, but it had come out in full-force as he had been trying to save Seunghun’s life. Since he hadn’t known at first just how much he could have helped the almost burned boy, he had also applied fireflower on his wounds - the flower that was born after fires, so interestingly so, it was almost like a phoenix, born after turning to ashes.

In a way, Byounggon tied himself to Seunghun by saving him because his magic continued to live inside his friend’s body, and whenever the soldier was hurt, it was only Byounggon who could heal him completely. At least, until Seunghun was saved by a girl, and her magic saved him just like the medic’s magic had saved him when they had been young. Ever since then, their magical bond might have faded, but their friendship stayed the same.

You even met the so-called soldier friend and his girlfriend at the court, and after a while, it became a habit of yours to have dinner with them alongside Huisoo, Sieun and the medic himself. You felt light whenever you were around them, that’s why you didn’t take it to heart when they started teasing you or Byounggon who was clumsily trying to get closer to you. Bit by bit, you let him get closer, but you needed to be the one to take the final step nevertheless.

“Byounggon, we need to talk,” you told him one morning, sitting by the pond while the sun was just rising on the horizon.

“T-talk?” He stuttered, extremely nervous for someone who was usually so chatty, but maybe he sensed the serious edge to your words, and he was scared by what was to come.

All was well though, so he was scared for nothing. Your parents had previously sent a letter to the royal family of Medicalia, telling them to take care of you for at least a year more until your sister could settle down with her husband, and you had a feeling that meant that you would never be welcomed in Animalia again. Hence, you had the permission to stay here longer, and you tried to be useful by applying to become an arts teacher in the court. You had your first lessons with the cousins of Prince Jinyoung and Princess Jinhee not too long ago, and it proved to be a success, so that was taken care of.

Nevertheless, you had a feeling that the boy might have thought that you would need to go back to Animalia or worse, marry a prince from a far-away kingdom. Thankfully, neither of them were likely to happen anytime soon, but it warmed your heart how worried he got.

“Yes. I want to talk about you and me,” you broke it down to him, but if anything, that just made him appear more appalled. He visibly gulped, but his eyes were still on you, intent and curious.

“Suuure. Go ahead,” he prompted semi-confidently, and you reached out to put your hand on his, to soothe his nerves. You could tell that it had its effect on him because his lips immediately curved upwards, and he squeezed your hand to hold onto you more tightly.

“I want to thank you for waiting for me,” you started sincerely, but the talkative person he was, he couldn’t help himself, but to interrupt you.

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? I’m not like that horrible prince who deserves the absolute worst, he deserves to-” He started getting riled up again, something that he always did when you mentioned some injustice you had encountered at the Animalia palace or he thought of Prince Sangdo. You were sure that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back if he were to ever encounter the said prince, but thankfully, there was little to no chance of that happening.

“I love you, Byounggon,” you announced, loud and proud, and the medic’s mouth stayed open, probably because he was in the middle of his monologue, but also because he was surprised by your sudden confession. Then, he closed his mouth, his features softening, and he immediately threw his arms around you.

“I love you, too. Gosh, I love you so much!” He shrieked excitedly like a little kid, and hugged you tighter than ever before. You smiled to yourself while he was holding you, amused (and bewitched) at the way he kept saying ‘I love you’ like he would never want to stop.

He couldn’t stop even when Sieun and Huisoo walked by, and they tried to sniffle their giggles while watching you two embrace each other in the middle of the blooming garden, bathed in the rays of the sunrise.

“I’ve told you he liked her when he asked about her morning strolls,” Huisoo told Sieun as they were heading towards the kitchen while the other girl just let out an amused laugh.

“Sure, Miss Matchmaker. What about your flower boy though? What was his name again? Leewoo? Leehan?” Sieun teased her and smacked the girl in the side, playful as ever.

“Ssshh,” Huisoo shushed her, pretending to stay nonchalant about the topic, but she couldn’t help a smile creeping onto her lips as she said: “Well, love might be in the air for everyone.”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think in the comments or as reblogs. I always read them and react to them. 🥰

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for CIX or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! *-*

[granulesofsand]

Ableism for DID

🗝️🏷️ I’m mad and wrote a short essay about it. Therapy goals, RAMCOA mentions, angry tone

It’s not good practice to be pushing integration the way people are. Not fusion, integration — memories, abilities, experiences. The treatment is still taking a system and forcing them close enough together to pass as a singlet.

Some systems probably need that, maybe if members aren’t being responsible with the body while out or flashbacks only stop by putting together pieces. But not every system will. Even communication across the system might not be a priority.

Integration does remove dissociative barriers, but it also risks flooding alters into one another when they really don’t want that. It should be thought out as much as any treatment goal, and having it as a standard only serves to undermine a clients authority over their own therapy.

Big System

The way we find out about system members is mostly exponential. I’m not convinced it ever ends, I think if you kept following alters who knew alters you would just end up overcrowded into the abyss.

We knew about 8 people the first time we thought we were done. It was 20 by the time we got through that sidesystem, not including their nested subsystems. When we learned about those, it went up to 40ish, then 60. We haven’t actually found everyone there yet, it goes pretty deep.

We were scared and excited when we found 100. That was a whole other sidesystem, plus a few from elsewhere. People kept logging until we hit 200, then 300. We only just decided to keep track of fragments, which is kind of nightmarish itself, and so far we have like 20 of them that are stable and take front often.

I know of several hundred fragments. Some are connected to alters, some are memory holders, some specific skills or traits unique to them. There is onegroup that are all shapeshifters, but they take the same form throughout so it’s hard to tell if it’s one alter with duplication abilities or like 30. We call them Omen, they are like our tornado sirens.

There are so many of them. We’re figuring out patterns and programs, so that’s been great and helpful. Getting to know everyone is huge, and it has dark sides. Not everyone knows they are a person, or that they are allowed to elaborate.

It takes a lot of faith on their part to take the leap and feel like themselves. We work on separation and healing with each person, and we don’t need more convincing that we aren’t. It was a big part of our trauma to not be a person, and some of it was based on our multiplicity. None of us could be a person, so none of us got human rights. That’s not okay.

Individuality

We have a lot of alter groups that are all elaborated. They all seem like full people, each with several hobbies and a life history and worldview that has changed throughout their existence. Sometimes subsystems are more part-like, but sometimes there are 5 iterations of a fractal and all of them are whole, solid people.

I know that we share a body. I know that we could have been one person, given better circumstances. But it still hasn’t been our experience that having a lot of us equals each of us having less. We use different parts of the brain differently, but we don’t literally occupy that space.

I don’t see why we can’t be individuals on the alter level. Integration, either of alters or of memories and skills, is such a priority for healing. We don’t see it that way. Our therapist doesn’t see it that way. Our boundaries between system members are largely the same as between our body and outsiders. It would be better for us if we could interact system member to singlet, but that would require us being seen as more than one.

It’s so much harder to get people to treat us as separate when the goal is to act like one person. We’ve been healing one-on-one in therapy, and we put memories together like authors of a book, restricted to those who need to see.

We don’t want to share memories or feel bad we don’t work like a singlet, because we’re not. And the size of our system doesn’t make us any less. It isn’t better than how singlets are, it just isn’t the same. It’s inherently a different experience, and forcing a system to function differently feels the same as when we had to put away our autism for allistics.

Stop making us bad for being different. Stop making us hide away the ugly. Stop forcing us into little boxes that we already know the whole group doesn’t fit, let alone a system with extensive trauma. Even without the trauma, it costs nothing but mental energy to treat us as we ask. If you can’t do that, don’t bother interacting with us at all.

TL;DR: systems/alters also deserve autonomy and the right to set boundaries. If that’s too hard, don’t be friends with that system.

[oficeandwind]

CHONGYUN'S CONNECTION TO OTHER NATIONS ( both canon lore and blog canon. )

MONDSTADT

Chongyun's parents were/are patrons of the Dawn Winery. They love the wines the can sample and purchase there, and often they tend to send Chongyun over to Mondstadt so he can either purchase directly from the winery itself or head into Mondstadt to buy other drinks from the Angel's Share Tavern. Because of this loose connection to Diluc, Chongyun is also blog canonically brothers with Kaeya, though he also sees Diluc as family. Chongyun likes to go to Mondstadt often enough to play TCG or just hang out with his bros.

INAZUMA

It is canon that Chongyun prefers the cuisine from Inazuma. The food from their is tame and not as spicy as food from Liyue might be. Therefore, I reason that Chongyun sometimes travels to Inazuma, not just for food or to check out the other goods they import, but to visit with the people there and to learn from them. From there, Chongyun has loose connections and people they seek out first, such as Thoma, Heizou, Kazuha (though it's more common to see Kazuha over in Liyue), Ayaka, etc. Chongyun feels at ease in Inazuma, though they have beef with Yae Miko, and wouldn't mind dueling her to see what exactly she's capable of.

SUMERU

Chongyun's fame as an exorcist extends well beyond the borders of Liyue, and reaches into the scholarly circle of Sumeru. Chongyun doesn't really know Sumeru as well, though Chongyun's heard countless stories. They travel there on occasion, mostly sticking close to Gandharva Ville and Sumuru City, or at least the area surrounding it. Chongyun is well acquainted with Cyno, Wanderer, Tighnari and Collei as a result, though they wouldn't mind getting to know the other residents of the nation, and learn more about Sumeru's history. Chongyun has a love-hate relationship with the nation overall, on account of how warm it is. That isn't going to stop them from trying to get into the desert to explore all the temples and ruins that lay out there. After all, what if there are spirits to finally see?

FONTAINE

Fontaine is an interesting one. While Chongyun wouldn't mind visiting the nation itself, even for the food, it's the waters that would capture Chongyun's attention most. He's been only a couple of times, but never stuck around for long. There are spirits abound, and the nation as a whole seems rather mysterious. Chongyun would be more interested in the ruins that lay below the sea depths, and his time would be spent mostly under water. There's no touching the island of Petrichor though. He's steering very clear of that place. Thanks, Childe.

NATLAN

Chongyun has dreams about the creatures in Natlan. Chongyun has never actually been before, but there's no time like now to start, is there? Chongyun would be very interested in the culture, and even more interested in the abyssal energy that seems to plague the nation. While Chongyun probably wouldn't be able to hold the abyss at bay with their yang energy alone, it'd still be a fun battle to fight regardless, and a reason to test their strength against a fresh enemy. With permission, of course.

SNEZHNAYA

We don't know much about this nation yet. Though my portrayal of Chongyun doesn't automatically see the Fatui as an enemy regardless, he's aware there are both good and bad people that hail from there. Chongyun is on friendly terms with Childe, and holds some respect for the Tsaritsa, even though she didn't personally hand out the cryo visions. Plus, it's spectulated that Snezhnaya is very cold, and cold make Chongyun happy, so that'd be one of his favorite nations to visit.

[cleolinda]

Varney the Vampire: Chapter 12

Chapter 11: Oh boy, Gothic ableism feat. implied racism; Charles Holland has Plans

Chapter XII.

CHARLES HOLLAND'S SAD FEELINGS. -- THE PORTRAIT. -- THE OCCURRENCE OF THE NIGHT AT THE HALL.

This chapter is fully twice as long as the previous one, so you can imagine how I felt when I got a couple thousand words in and it just! kept! going! It's 4900+ words, y'all. Colin Robinson feasts tonight. As such, it's helpful to me to break it up into sections—like movements in a symphony, really, except that all four movements are inhumanly long renditions of "Free Bird."

I. PREVIOUSLY ON: Charles Holland still feels a way about it (530+ words)

As noted in the previous chapter, it would have been one thing if Flora had been a strumpet, or if Charles Holland (who I literally cannot just call "Charles," that's just how it is) had fallen out of love with her, but Flora transparently trying to break up with him For His Own Good gives him a sad. The reason she wants to break up is also pretty alarming:

Fortune he had enough for both; death had not even threatened to rob him of the prize of such a noble and faithful heart which he had won. But a horrible superstition had arisen, which seemed to place at once an impassable abyss between them, and to say to him, in a voice of thundering denunciation, -- "Charles Holland, will you have a vampyre for your bride?" The thought was terrific.

Oh, the thought is fantastic. "Will you have a vampyre for your bride" is PEAK goth; in my opinion it's 100% relationship g—oh. You mean it's terror-ific. I mean... if you have no sense of adventure, I guess.

II. Charles Holland looks at a painting (670+ words)

Charles Holland is settling down in Flora's room to wait for a motherfucker to try it. We're looking at the painting of Sir Ancestor von Spookyportrait, who is wearing a 1700s coat that matches the handful of cloth pulled off Varney. You see where we're going with this.

The picture, as a picture, was well done, whether it was a correct likeness or not of the party whom it represented. It was one of those kind of portraits that seem so lifelike, that, as you look at them, they seem to return your gaze fully, and even to follow you with their eyes from place to place.

Spooky trompe l'oeil (OR IS IT?). Impeccable vibes.

For a considerable number of words, Charles Holland remains staring at this painting:

"I shall now," he said, "know that face again, let me see it where I may, or under what circumstances I may. Each feature is now indelibly fixed upon my memory -- I can never mistake it."

This will obviously become a plot point.

III. Charles Holland tries to move a painting (840+ words)

After the panel containing the picture had been placed where it was, it appeared that pieces of moulding had been inserted all around, which had had the effect of keeping it in its place, and it was a fracture of one of these pieces which had first called Charles Holland's attention to the probability of the picture having been removed. That he should have to get two, at least, of the pieces of moulding away, before he could hope to remove the picture, was to him quite apparent, and he was considering how he should accomplish such a result, when he was suddenly startled by a knock at his chamber door.

POINTS:

holy shit the probability of the molding I don't give a fuck

Suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, at Charles Holland's chamber door: Poe's "The Raven" was published in the U.S. the same year, 1845, that Varney the Vampire began serialization. I'm not saying there's a connection, I just think that's fun.

Random knockings in dark halls also made me think of my favorite TV genre: paranormal investigation.

Now, while I'm primarily a Ghost Files/Buzzfeed Unsolved fan because having an actual skeptic completely changes the usual Ghost Show vibe, I also enjoy a ton of shows on Discovery Plus that involve investigators getting spooked and flipping the fuck out. (Honestly, the real appeal of any of these shows is the personalities involved; it's not like I actually need to see eight different takes on Waverly Hills Sanatorium.) One of my favorites is the recently-canceled, soon-to-be-revived Destination Fear, where a group of friends ride around in an RV and torment each other in dark abandoned buildings that may or may not be riddled with squatters. Sometimes there is a stray cat. I suspect a lot of it was faked, and I honestly don't even care. They are constantly hearing random slams and knocks and voices, maybe, and shrieking in panic when a camera falls over, and I love it. What I'm telling you is, I am basically imagining Charles Holland as one of the Destination Fear kids in their solo sleeping arrangements, trying to decide if he wants to go barreling after this ghost or not. This is an experiment in fear and he can't call Dakota on the walkie and say he wants to peace out because he can't let this location get the best of him!!:

"I will remain the occupant of this room come what may, happen what may. No terrors, real or unsubstantial, shall drive me from it: I will brave them all, and remain here to brave them."

The thing is, it's "an odd sort of tap -- a single tap, as if some one demanded admittance, and wished to awaken his attention with the least possible chance of disturbing any one else." This happens, like, four times, and Charles Holland keeps flinging the door open and no one is there. I have no idea who this is supposed to be—it can't be Varney, because he has enough corporeal substance to be unable to haul himself over a garden wall, and therefore he can't vanish instantly. If it's a ghost who can vanish, we've never heard of them, and I don't recall that we do later. I am forced to conclude that it is one of James Malcolm Rymer's creditors asking if he's gotten his pay by the line yet.

IV. Charles Holland and Henry look at a painting (1020+ words)

At last, Henry emerges from his own bedroom at the sound of Charles Holland repeatedly demanding who the fuck happens to be tapping, rapping at his chamber door, and now Charles Holland is vexed that he looks like a coward who couldn't handle it. In contrast, the Destination Fear kids are always walkie-ing each other to GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW,  A FALLING BRICK DID ME A SCARE!!! and then pelting through the ruins of some heinous crumbling hospital past a Tall Dark Mass named Red (it's always named Red) and maybe a couple of crawlers (there's always a crawler) to save each other from nothing in particular. I've watched the entire series like five times. I would pay good money for an adaptation of Varney where Charles Holland and the Bannerworth brothers are panicking at each other from the various mansion bedrooms over, like, tin cans tied together with string. 

Anyway, Henry and Charles Holland look at the painting of Ancestor von Spookyportrait and try to pry it off the wall. It's painted on a panel rather than a hanging canvas. Someone has recently pried it off and put it back! It's eminently priable! They cannot do it, for they do not have any tools to do so, except then they have a knife out of nowhere that they can use, because you keep knives in bedrooms the way you do crowbars and swords, and they finally get the portrait off the wall.

There is nothing behind the portrait.

"There is no mystery here," said Henry. "None whatever," said Charles, as he tapped the wall with his knuckles, and found all hard and sound. "We are foiled." "We are indeed."

V. Someone shoots a vampyre, again, maybe (790 words)

Even as he spoke they were both startled by a strange clattering noise at the window, which was accompanied by a shrill, odd kind of shriek, which sounded fearful and preternatural on the night air. "What is that?" said Charles. "God only knows," said Henry.

I didn't have a whole lot of sympathy for Henry back when he was moping around the family crypt, but I'm starting to get on board now. What WAS that? God only knows for 800 words of it, Henry. God only knows.

The two young men naturally turned their earnest gaze in the direction of the window, which we have before remarked was one unprovided with shutters, and there, to their intense surprise, they saw, slowly rising up from the lower part of it, what appeared to be a human form. Henry would have dashed forward, but Charles restrained him, and drawing quickly from its case a large holster pistol

What? Do we also keep pistols in bedrooms? Flora's bedroom? Did Charles Holland just know to bring his trusty Large Holster Pistol with him from Somewhere in Europe? Do we keep them in cases or holsters? What?

He pulled the trigger -- a loud report followed -- the room was filled with smoke, and then all was still.

Like, this is great. Cinematic before there was cinema. And then Rymer has to dither around with hundreds of words about how the smoke blew out the only candle they had (I hope to fuck y'all have matches), and the window latch is too fancy for Charles Holland to fathom and he needs Henry to unfasten the fastening because the fancy fastening is known only to Henry, and then Rymer goes into the perfect bullet hole in the glass that did not cause any cracking or "starring," and I had to go take two Advil and lie down. Like. I can't. I cannot when Rymer does this. I mean, I comprehend perfectly what's happening. I just. I Just. So what are we, 3000 words into this chapter about staring at paintings? SUDDENLY AN ACTION SCENE BREAKS OUT. Henry's brother George and their mother's—somebody—Mr. Marchdale rush in! Henry flings the fascinating fastened window open! Henry and Charles Holland and Marchdale (eventually) leap down to the garden in "a wonderfully short space of time"! Indubitably, here is the terrestrial location where the vampyre must have gotten his sad ass shot, again—

But nothing is there. No blood. No vampyre. No "revivified corpse" that Charles Holland was so sure they'd be able to net, and that was the foundation of his optimism. Woe:

"Human means against such an appearance as we saw to-night," said Charles, "are evidently useless."

VI. You must leave Spookyportrait Manor (200+ words)

A brief movement in the symphony, but an important aspect:

"My dear young friend," said Marchdale, with much emotion, as he grasped Henry Bannerworth's hand, and the tears stood in his eyes as he did so, -- "my dear young friend, these constant alarms will kill you. They will drive you, and all whose happiness you hold dear, distracted. You must control these dreadful feelings, and there is but one chance that I can see of getting the better of these." "What is that?" "By leaving this place for ever."

We've seen in previous chapters how Henry just cannot cope with any vampire-themed revelations, and maybe I'm too hard on him for that—mostly it's because I always see him in contrast to Flora, the actual victimized person, who has wailed a good bit less about it. But I've always liked that literary Victorian masculinity seems to leave more room for tears and expressing distress (many of you are familiar with this from Dracula, I'm sure, and that's one of my favorite things about it), so maybe I should take that into consideration. However you see it, the serial has definitely established that Henry is very emotional about the Whole Vampyre Thing. But why Marchdale breaks in now, while Henry is merely "silent" and "lost in wonder" with Charles Holland, I don't know. Should we consider this sus? Unsure.

What's important about this to me, however, is that Henry does bring up that he doesn't want to be Driven from the Home of His Ancestors—but also, that they can't afford to flee the mansion and, by necessity, sell off the property cheap to pay their creditors and have anything to live on somewhere else. How many times have you yelled at someone in a horror movie to just LEAVE! WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE?!? Well: money.

VII. As regards Flora (870+ words)

"As regards poor dear Flora," said Mr. Marchdale, "I know not what to say, or what to think; she has been attacked by a vampyre, and after this mortal life shall have ended, it is dreadful to think there may be a possibility that she, with all her beauty, all her excellence and purity of mind, and all those virtues and qualities which should make her the beloved of all, and which do, indeed, attach all hearts towards her, should become one of that dreadful tribe of beings who cling to existence by feeding, in the most dreadful manner, upon the life blood of others -- oh, it is dreadful to contemplate! Too horrible -- too horrible!"

Quick recap: in the previous chapter, we discussed 1) the weirdness of this serial conflating a contagion with a "race" or "tribe" of beings; 2) the way Victorians often associated mental illness with both violence and [racist bullshit here], and 3) the way that they also cast all of these things as a "family stain" that must not be passed to your children, and yet, 4) Flora is also visually coded as being white, fair, "pure," and immune to any stain. Marchdale's blathering touches on the contagion idea without confusing it with heredity, at least. But Victorian ideals of beauty were tied up in whiteness (source: there are so many), so that historical subtext is present. Also, the word tribe: not a great usage right here!

That said, I also have a long-suppressed rant about the way people don't get that Lucy Westenra needs to be played as sweet and pure and lovingly innocent (I think wanting three husbands is very sweet! Desire isn’t impure! Wait why are Victorians throwing me in an asylum), in order to underline the real horror of the woman we knew, corrupted into an unrecognizable predator. And that's the excellence and virtue and purity of mind that make Flora the beloved of all—which sounds very Lucy to me—that Marchdale is talking about. Ultimately, if you put that paragraph under the microscope, you can isolate what you need to discard and what you could keep, and the sweetness of character is something that works.

Meanwhile, I have the temerity to claim that James Malcolm Rymer is long-winded. Go off, Charles Holland:

"Then wherefore speak of it?" said Charles, with some asperity

We're back to the thing Rymer mentioned umpteen thousand words ago: how Marchdale and Charles Holland hated each other on sight, for (allegedly) no reason. Charles Holland does not appreciate your bullshit, Marchdale, and he "will not give into such a horrible doctrine!" Marchdale tries to backpedal with a reply I had to read five times to parse, but I think he is saying that if anything could make this whole Vampyred Flora situation worse, it's that Charles Holland is such a stand-up dude and it's a shame the young couple can never marry now. BET? says Charles Holland. "May Heaven forbid it!" ripostes Marchdale, who just. cannot. quit:

"Oh, fancy, then, for a moment, the mother of your babes coming at the still hour of midnight to drain from their veins the very life blood she gave to them. To drive you and them mad with the expected horror of such visitations -- to make your nights hideous -- your days but so many hours of melancholy retrospection. Oh, you know not the world of terror, on the awful brink of which you stand, when you talk of making Flora Bannerworth a wife."

Aaaaand here we are back at the Do Not Propagate the Family Stain discourse. I told you.

That said! It is a Vampire Literature Trope that the vampire preys on the people who were closest to them in life, particularly a betrothed, from Lenore and The Bride of Corinth forwards. As noted on that very handy Wikipedia page, Byron's The Giaour (1813) specifically says that first, the vampire will first "ghostly haunt [its] native place, / And suck the blood of all [its] race"—daughter, sister, and wife included. I can't say what Rymer did or didn't read, but if he had Byron in mind, the idea is twisted so that the wife/mother, the Victorian "angel of the home," is the predator: extra unnatural.

Meanwhile, Henry is trying to get Marchdale to stop, but Marchdale just! will! not! Charles Holland will hear no more of this!! "Fine, I'm done," says Marchdale. "YOU COULD HAVE JUST NOT," says Charles Holland. "It was my SOLEMN DUTY," bloviates Marchdale. Charles Holland uses sarcasm!! It's so wordy effective that Marchdale abruptly threatens to flounce:

"To-morrow, I leave this house," said Marchdale. "Leave us?" exclaimed Henry. "Ay, for ever."

So now Henry has to coddle this asshole's disingenuously hurt feelings—I really wanted to like Marchdale, but come on, y'all, this guy is every mother-in-law on AITA. "I was just trying to help, I guess you hate me!!" Have you seen the Reddit essay about "boat-rockers" and their enablers? Basically, Henry has to get Charles Holland to steady the boat with him, even though the latter just got here and has no desire to cater to whichever random, non-Flora family member. Charles Holland does manage to say that if saying he's sorry Marchdale got his feelings hurt is an apology, then he'll say that he's sorry Marchdale got his feelings hurt (it's not). BUT KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT FROM NOW ON, YOU DON'T EVEN GO HERE:

"I will not allow this monstrous superstition to tread me down, like the tread of a giant on a broken reed. I will contend against it while I have life to do so." [...] "Come weal or woe -- come what may, I am the affianced husband of [Henry's] sister, and she, and she only, can break asunder the tie that binds me to her."

Which Flora already did two chapters ago, like, five times, but in a very "I clearly don't want to say this but we can't just talk to each other like normal people or there wouldn't be a plot" way, so I'll allow it. *gavel*

Varney the Vampire masterpost

[sammywolfgirl]

Okay I’m tired but gotta get this idea out,

So in my au lobster and mocha ray are a generation or two disconnected from sugartaria falling, like their grandparents grew up there and their parents likely vaugly remember being there but those two are part of the first generation who never went there.

And obviously that changes up their character motives for my au, mainly lobster who since they don’t feel any connection to the city have no reason to be so all or nothing about it. Thus why his (temporary) recruitment by DE was motivated by misleading them about an old friendship that ended sour.

And he literally ditched team bad guy after he and caviar battled a bit and then talked things out like adults.

All this to say he has no motive to care about sugartaria in my au so that might change the character a bit.

However, a friend suggested the idea that the GRANDFATHER could more clearly have the “I’d do anything to restore the city” motive but as he’s old he’s just kinda yelling in a rocking chair.

Idk could be a neat eater egg.

Mocha ray can have something similar with her grandma having the “I’d restore the city at any cost but I wouldn’t want to throw out my morals about it if I don’t have to” thing where she’d love to see the city back but if it just won’t work out she’d maybe drop it.

Which makes it neat that my mocha ray is now more desperate to restore the city. Mostly because she believes it’ll restore her family’s purpose and duty.

Which still means they aren’t doing this for the city, more for the family.

Which can be a neat theme to play with

Plus with the wondercrab giving me a clear thematic parallel of “living for the future” vs “being stuck in the past” that’d be a really good place to more directly tackle the theme in my au.

Plus caviar and candy diver being involved in that arc (in my au) can act as interesting cases. Caviar did sort of throw away his past to live on the surface, though he never completely cut himself off from his identity as a mershark, and recently is coming to better terms with finding a balance of his past vs his present.

Meanwhile candy diver is more burdened by their past,

They died, and idk how much they’ve come to terms with that, plus the kingdom they visit is where their SON lives (gumball), and they still are too afraid to tell him who they are. The idea of a city where it’s literally a soft rule not to talk about your past would be appealing.

And that’s not mentioning electric eel who’s very much on the “your past doesn’t matter let’s look to the future” end of the spectrum, maybe to a more dangerous degree since some level of a person’s past will always follow them, you can’t discard it entirely, and some people can’t. (Like abyss monarch)

And like again I’d have to see the full event before I make any final calls, but abyss monarch is giving me the thematic vibes of “still tied to the passed but wants to cut ties to it” like they don’t seem to like the city, and despite all they’ve changed they cannot escape it, mocha ray still finds them and recognizes them. The past will continue to haunt them. And that’s not even bringing up what bs the edgy sea monster powers might be causing in the present. Maybe they wanted to try and live peacefully but their status as the ruler of sea monsters can’t make that possible. Idk! But it’d be a neat theme for this edge lord!!

Idk having the whole spectrum could be fun to play with.

If it wasn’t clear I have a lot of thoughts about this arc, for au stuff and Og potential

[archaictold]

PERMANENT PLOTTER.

wowie, it has been a hot minute since i've done one of these!!! seeing as i've gotten into the groove with zhilan here in isola, i think it's about time i cast my reel into the pond and start developing some long-term plots for him. i'll preface this by saying we do not need to have threaded before for you to express your interest! if you think your muse can vibe with any of these  ( or even if you have an idea i haven't covered here! ) , you're more than welcome to hop onto this plotter call. 'what does this do, exactly?' you might be asking. i'll tell you! by liking this, you can guarantee:

me hopping into your IMs to plot!

memes for meme day!

spontaneous starters! ( with your permission, of course! )

… and all things good for development! now! onto the real meat of this post!

RELATIONSHIPS. these are the bonds i want to see zhilan develop! some of these include—— FRIENDS. if you've been around zhilan for longer than 5 seconds, you've probably noticed that he is extremely friendly! zhilan has the personality of a sunbeam: it's bright, it's cheerful, it's warm and everything you would expect of a walking beacon of positivity. he's pretty talkative, even when faced with less talkative muses. he's also really trusting and believes the best in people, sometimes to his own detriment. he'd make a good friend to just about anyone, being a rather personable individual! plus, i think he ought to make some friends! the guy's kind of a hermit when it comes to his work. GEEK SQUAD. do you have a muse that's also super nerdy? you're in luck! they probably stand a chance of coming across zhilan in his natural element, that being his lab at the university or one of the libraries scattered about spirale. there is no greater joy to him than positing theories and discussing the nature of one's work. even if their fields differ, he'll want to hear all about it! ENEMIES. now, i feel like it's hard to get under zhilan's skin unless you're the absolute anarchy of humanity, BUT! i do think his optimism can rub people the wrong way, especially if they're more jaded. i'm not expressly looking for people to antagonize zhilan, but i do think it's impossible for him to get along with everyone. thus, i'm leaving this here! SPARRING PARTNERS. you wouldn't know it from zhilan's scrawny stature, but he does dabble a bit in martial arts! now that he's gotten his polearm back, he's actively looking to improve his combat skills… which are admittedly not that impressive, unless he's acting as a support. maybe your muse could act as a mentor, or even a fellow peer! THE MUSEUM. zhilan plans to take up a job position here! it's… kind of an odd choice, yes, but he doesn't exactly want to pursue an academic position at the university. so where better to put that treasure trove of knowledge to use than a museum! if you're visiting for any reason, you'll likely come across him among the gallery. just, er… not the abyssal gallery. he tends to keep out of there. YESTERYEAR. zhilan frequents this branch rather often, being to sort to gravitate to old dilapidated ruins and forgotten history. if you know a thing or two about this branch, he'll be incredibly interested to hear about it! who knows! maybe the two of you can explore it together… CASTMATES. zhilan might be a fandom oc, but i'm really keen on the idea of him developing some established bonds with his canon counterparts.  ;v;  their shared canon background already gives them a good basis for interactions, so i'd like to nurture some connections for him with his genshin fellows! aaaand that’s about it! of course this doesn’t cover everything, so if you’ve got an idea and you don’t see it here you’re free to hop on this post and shoot it my way! thanks for reading!  :^)

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Return of the King.

KAEDE...WAS-I-PERHAPS-A-LITTLE-TOO-HARSH-TOWARDS-KABUYA-SAMA-BACK-THERE?

Maybe a little bit...Why did you say that?

WELL...IN-ANY-ORDINARY-SITUATION, I-WOULD-HAVE-LIKED-TO-GIVE-HER-A-ROUSING-SPEECH-OR-COMFORT-TO-HELP-STIR-HER-ON.

BUT-KABUYA-SAMA-DOES-NOT-LIKE-ME. SO-MY-WORDS-WOULD-FALL-ON-DEAF-EARS.

So...you chose to insult her pride instead so that she’d be determined to prove you wrong?

SOMETHING-LIKE-THAT.

Huh...Interesting use of Reverse Psychology there-

...!

Wh-What?

*Kaede is suddenly halted in her tracks as Monodam sticks out the arm of his exisal...

WE-HAVE-A-PROBLEM...

...!?

...

*Kaede sees a threatening figure down the end of the hallway....

...

*Meanwhile, within the digital realm, Sora descends downwards into the cybernetic abyss below, until she eventually touches some semblance of ground.

Alright Sora...Woman up. Just find our guy, and we’ll be in and out...2 minute adventure. Hoo...

*Uncomfortable with her restraints removed, Sora keeps brushing her out-of-place hair, trying not to think about it as she looks around.

I swear to god Kaede...You owe me 2000 yen for this...Forcing myself to face my trauma while you go hang out with a fucking green teddy bear...!

Still...guess it helps that this place is relatively empty...

I know right? Gives you lots of time to think, don’t you agree?

Yeah...You’d think that’d make things a little...

...easier...!?

*Sora suddenly realizes that the voice she heard is an unfamiliar one, and wheels around looking for where it came from.

...

*A relatively big cubic structure juts out from the ground, and remembering it came from that way, she starts to head towards it.

Ok...Ok...Keep yourself in check Sora...Make a good impression...Don’t go crazy...

*With these words of self-assurance, she turns the corner and looks behind the block...seeing no one there.

Huh...?

Are you looking for me?

YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!??

*Caught unpleasantly off guard as her fellow AI walks around the block and ends up behind her, she screams in panic. The AI, also shocked, starts screaming as well.

DICKHEAD!! You scared the shit out of me!

What the-!? YOU scared ME!

Because YOU scared ME first!

Yeah well...I’m SUPPOSED to be here!

Well...ok, maybe that’s not TOTALLY true...But even so, I got here first! If anything, YOU’RE the suspicious one!

Then why did you just...show yourself instead of trying to hide?

Well, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to test the waters...Plus, we’re kind of in a digital realm with very little places to hide. I wouldn’t have been able to stay hidden if I tried.

Besides, from the way you were talking to yourself, sounds like you came down here looking for me?

Ok, Ok, I get it! Maybe this IS my fault...But just a word of warning, it might not be such a good idea to be pushy with me.

Why not? I mean, I obviously don’t want to upset you, but why now?

I had to remove my shackles in order to get down here...And I don’t exactly feel myself without them.

Oh...That’s...not great. But ok, I get it. I won’t push.

THANK YOU for UNDERSTANDING! Jeez.

It’s great to finally meet someone else who speaks my language. My human friend and...bear friend don’t quite get it.

“Bear friend?”

I’ll tell you later.

...

Wh-What? What’s wrong?

I...I’ve just been wondering...

*The AI stares at Sora’s face.

Are you...Akane Taira...!?

Huh!?

Oh, uh...No. No, I’m not.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I promise. I get that a lot though. My actual name is Sora. Sora Kabuya.

Hm...

Alright! 

(Hm...That was easy. I mean, it’s not like I lied to him, but even so, I’m surprised he knew the connection...)

And who might you be?

Me? Well, hehe...There’s only one person I really could be, don’t you think?

...Not really...You could be the AI spirit of Pope Benedict for all I know...

Wow, you’re sassy! But yeah, ok, sure, I get your point.

My name’s Yamato! Yamato Kisaragi!

Yamato Kisaragi...!?

So you HAVE heard of me?

Yeah, I have...You were supposed to be the Central Processing Algorithm for the Kisaragi Foundation servers before you were stolen from the databases...

Then Rei Mekaru tried to do the same with me, but gave me away instead.

You know Rei?

I...LITERALLY just told you she made me.

Oh, right, sorry, kinda got a few things backwards there...

But yeah, I did hear this whole thing about how I was stolen, and was only finished after I got stolen.

But there was always the hope of people coming to rescue me and Doctor Ando one day, which is why I’ve been hard at work making sure our base isn’t broken into!

...

You...what...?

Huh? What’s wrong?

You...What do you mean, “your base?”

I mean...this place...It’s our base, right?

Ando told me that no matter what, I need to keep the system and settings active, and stop anyone from infiltrating the lab using methods like hacking if we enter lockdown.

And lately, I feel like we’ve been dealing with a lot...Someone REALLY wants in here right now...

...!?

Wait...Don’t tell me YOU’RE an AI program they sent in here to take me out, are you!?

...Oh my fucking god...

Well!? Are you!?

NO! I’M NOT, YOU FUCKING HAFLWIT! I’m with Future Foundation! FUTURE FOUNDATION!!!

EEEP!?

...!?

Sorry! I’m sorry! God, it’s like having the fucking menopause right now, it SUCKS!

Sora...Are you alright? Did I...say something wrong?

No...No, not exactly...It’s just...

I’m gonna need you to listen to me. I need to tell you the truth.

WHAT!?

Yeah...Sorry you had to hear it like this.

But it’s likely that by the time Ando told you this, Organization Zetsubou had already brainwashed him.

So, this whole time, the people who you were keeping out? They were just trying to rescue you.

And now, Organization Zetsubou have trapped a very important person inside the lab, and we’ve been doing everything to try and get them out...

So those hacking attempts that I stopped...Were you trying to rescue your friend?

Basically. I got tunneled into the lab for communication and moral support for this person. 

...

*Yamato suddenly slams his fist on the block.

DAMMIT! How could I!?

So...you believe me...?

Yeah...Sad as it is to say, a lot of what you’ve said makes sense looking back.

It seemed suspicious at the time, but I figured since it was Doctor Ando who gave the order, it was trustworthy! I-I had no idea he was being mind-controlled!

I’ve been SUCH AN IDIOT!

Hey, hey, take it easy! Listen, no one’s going to blame you for this.

As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another person who Zetsubou tried to manipulate. That’s all they ever do. They gaslight and manipulate people into submission.

Still...Helping out Ultimate Despairs...I’m disgusted with myself!

I would be too, but again, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.

To be honest, it’s partly my fault too. I didn’t even consider your circumstances.

But you know what? None of it matters anymore.

Why not?

Because YOU are going help me make it right.

*Sora takes Yamato’s hand.

Our friend, Kaede Akamatsu, is still trapped inside the lab. We think we can get the system open from the inside, but to do that...we’re gonna need YOUR help.

Well...I can’t do it from here. Even I can’t open the lockdown once it’s manually activated.

I figured...But we CAN get you to do it from a different place. We just need to get you out of this place, and that’s what I’m here for.

So, how about it? Feel like helping us out?

Hell yeah! No way am I staying here inadvertently helping criminals for no reason! I want out!

Glad to hear it...Especially because it means I don’t have to keep going without my hairtie for much longer.

Alright then buddy! Let’s get a move on!

Right!

[pizzapasta23045]

Sending another ask so the psot doens't get too long but YEAH I SPENT. A REALLY REALLY LONG TIME ON THAT MOUNTAIN. Actually back pre-sumeru when I had more time and energy (less school) I was extremely intense with my gameplay. I'm talking the Chasm 100%ed within give or take a week after it's release. Hours upon hours spent getting the map to full completion. It was actually INSANE.

ALSO. Also also. Opinions on the organization setup of Khaenri'ah/related groups bc like I KNOW that so far the only DRECTLY Khaenri'ah related groups are the Hexenzircle, Fatui and the Abyss Order but I have. A reallllly really strong feeling that there's a fourth group and that's the one Kaeya belongs to BUT. I am very curious as to what you think :3

100% chasm??? You are so fucking real for that, I could never!

Well, about the different organizations, i sure have some thoughts... There are probably innacurate to some oscure lore but hey, whatever...

So, the Alberich are definetely not connected to the fatui, but that should be a given at this point. The ideologies are just different, one wants to restore the homeland or some semblance of it, the other (Pierro) is described as a traitor to Khaenri'ah, does not seem to care for the restoration and his organazation mostly focuses on ending destiny and destroying celestia. Moreso the second than the first.

So the Alberich. I have a feeling that Skirk is an Alberich (you know Skirk, right? Childe's master in the abyss), because she is incredibly misterious, described as looming in the dark, ridicoulusly powerful and in the Abyss where it is speculated Khaenri'ah's survivors went. She's also speculated to be part of the Herzenicle but i don't think so becase she's only describe as a swordwoman and not as a witch.

Dain's also an alberich, imo. Since he's against both the abyss order and the fatui and he can't be part of the Herzickel.

My theory about the Alberich is deeply connected with my theory on the abyss sibling. Which is that the sibling went through the entire journey just as we did and challenged the Heavenly principals, who, since they were loosing, basically reset the entire timeline, choose the traveler as the new descender and pushed the sibling into the role of leader of the abyss to fill in the blanks.

This is because the only, as far as I'm aware, time we can hear about our sister's journey, like really and in detail, is through the Aranara who call them by a nickname and talk in riddles. Which would bypass Irminsul

There's one time from the fatui, i think, but I can't find it and it doesn't seem specific enough to be erased, plus pierro may know how to avoid Irminsul through codes and written "fake" languages.

Now, back to the Alberich. My theory is that the place the alberich had in the world is the equivalent of the fatui in our timeline. So all the fatui's plans are similar to the Alberich's, which would explain why Pierro seems to be able to tell the future. In this case Childe would be Skirk (since I think it'd be funny) and dottore would be rhinedottir (since, you know, insane scientist ect,ect)

Now, after the Alberich's plans failed (since they were using the sibling to defy the world) the intelligence network divided into two groups. Kaeya's father and company basically form the most insane case of maliscous compliance.

Like "technically" they follow the heavenly principals while slowly making sure that the heavens still are defeated. Pierro doesn't like that so he creates the fatui to continue the revolution.

Now the Herznickel I'm not sure about, haven't researched it much to be honest, but my gut tells me they are associated with Celestia. Not sure why, like I said, Haven't researched it, but i'd be glad to listen if you can disprove it or something.

And the Abyss order seems like the farthest away from Khaenri'ah, oddly enough, maybe because most of the people that are part of it are just... mindless monsters trasformed by the curse. Also, any faction (the fatuii, dain, Kaeya to an extent) all seem to hate them or want them gone? We know that Khaenri'ah used to use the field tillers to cleanse the abyss beasts so it may because of that but idk...

Honestly, this is the first time I've externalized any of this so it may not make sense at all. But I'd be glad to hear your theories in turn oh wise sage from the old times (1.3 lmao)(non making fun of you btw, we're both just as insane.