#[guy who has an entire Project going involving That and also werewolves] WHAT WHAT WHAT

[chiropteracupola]

[sneaking back to animorphs to read another of the auxiliary books now]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ANIMORPHS WENT TO THE BATTLE OF AGINCOURT, WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THAT THE ANIMORPHS WENT TO THE BATTLE OF AGINCOURT

[christinesficrecs]

Hii hope everything is going well. I have a recent apetite for a fanfic where stiles is best friends with cora or a sister or brother of derek and derek is the best friends older brother and stiles has a crush and all maybe. Happy ending pretty please.

Sure!

Ecstasy by allfandoms93 | 11.3K | Explicit

Derek moves home after college in New York not expecting an instant connection to Cora's best friend, Stiles.

Crush by madsmeetsmisha | 16.3K | Explicit

What if Stiles had a little crush on Cora's brother Derek? What if he was always making a fool out of himself when the attractive werewolf was around? And what if Stiles tried his best to avoid him but Derek was suddenly everywhere...

^^^^ These were suggested additions. Thank you!! ❤️

Dude, Werewolves by mysecretashes | 29.6K

Stiles gets partnered with Cora for a history project, and they become bros. Also, he kind of falls in love with her older brother, Derek.

French Silk Pie, Baby | 2.6K

“See, your angel of a sister - ” Derek scoffs. Cora hasn’t been an angel since she was five months old. “ - agreed to date me, because my visa is about to expire and - ”

“I’d have to marry you for that, dumbass,” Cora butts in, rolling her eyes.

Dirty Little Secret by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 91K | Explicit

“Holy shit, this is a date!” he blurted out, turning back to Derek wide-eyed. “This is a date! You intended for this to be a date, this was supposed to be a date!” He figured if he said it enough times, maybe he would believe it, but so far, no dice.

Derek was scowling again—seriously, did he want wrinkles?—but he just reached into one of the bags and pulled out a burger, checking what was written on the foil in sharpie before handing it over to Stiles.

“Of course it’s a date, what did you think this was?”

Flowerwolf & Beacon Roots by alisvolatpropiis | 5.2K | Explicit

Derek tries not to show his surprise, curiously hopeful, but still suspicious of Laura’s involvement. “Oh. How do you know my coffee order then?”

He grins. “The cute baristo knows your order, dude. All I had to do was ask for Grumpy Flower Guy’s usual.”

Derek huffs. “I’m not grumpy.”

“He says grumpily,” Stiles smirks, winking.

Putting the F-U-N in Funeral by apocryphal | 10.8K 

In which Derek is a bored secretary, Stiles is a baker who may or may not have ulterior motives, and there are entirely too many macaroons.

hey asshole by everchanginginks | 15.6K | Mature

The Hales moved in next door more than a year ago and while Cora and Stiles became fast friends, Stiles has yet to meet his best friend’s big brother, Derek, who’s been attending college in New York. When Derek comes home for the summer he makes less than a stellar impression. And vice versa.

Date me or my brother by Hepzheba | 2.5K

Derek is straight and his usual grumpy self, Derek also has a twin who is Gay and a complete Player. Somehow, Derek finds himself filling in for his Twin because the Player has double booked himself on the dating seen. Enter Stiles… Maybe Derek’s not so straight.

The Wonderful Mess We Made by haleonwheels | 34.6K | Explicit

Derek is Scott's rude older brother. Scott is Stiles' new best friend. Stiles is in a really hard situation (in more ways than one).

Or the one where Stiles Stilinski moves to Beacon Hills from New York City and immediately befriends Scott McHale. Scott tells Stiles he's an only child--except he really, really isn't. So how was Stiles supposed to know Derek From The Jungle is actually Derek McHale, Scott's older brother that he kept secret for a reason?

Permanent Fixture by linksofmemories_archive | 80.7K | Explicit

Derek is Scott's older brother. Stiles is Scott's best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

[princeescaluswords]

For all they go on and on about "nothing is black and white!!!!" stans sure do have the overwhelming tendency to portray the dynamic between the two noble white families as "Hales Good, Argents Bad!!!" which utterly erases the nuances of the show. They want it both ways in where the rich white werewolves are unfairly persecuted, yet also Peter and Derek kill as casually as breathing, whether you be human or an unfortunate omega passing through.

One of the things I have learned from engaging in the Teen Wolf fandom is that the phenomenon of fandom itself has evolved to a point where they believe they  don’t actually need the shows they follow anymore.  “Fans” don’t have to attempt to understand the theme, the characters, the plot or any -- as you put it -- nuance of these works whatsoever.  I had one person tell me that they only paid attention to the scenes with Stiles in them and then turn around in the same conversation and complain to me that the writing didn’t make any sense.  They’ve been taught that it is completely acceptable to only consume the parts of the show they feel they want, like a vulture picking over a corpse for the juiciest bits.  

You might ask what’s wrong with that?  Unfortunately, the behavior allows the audience to project their own fantasies onto show narratives and to bring their own prejudices into the fandom community.  This turns fandom into a frustrating and unwelcoming place when these fantasies and prejudices involve racism, misogyny, heteronormativity and other behaviors that perpetuate cultural exclusion.

And fandom is beginning to influence more and more the way shows are made.  In the recent televised hit Wandavision, the production knew that casting Evan Peters as “Fietro” would create an amazing amount of buzz in the fandom community, which helped generate viewership, even though the character could have been played by anyone else.  Shows didn’t use to include facets that required the audience to have watched a different movie by a different studio.  That’s what fandom has done.

In Teen Wolf’s case, fandom decided who the good guys were and who the bad guys were and what their primary ship would be 16 minutes into the first episode.  Sarcastic, nerdy white boy ignored by his crush -- check.   Good-looking broody white man with a tragic past -- check.  After that, nothing else mattered to them.  Thus, the parallels between the Argents and the Hales -- families who believe they had the right to determine the course of Scott McCall’s life, families with power and wealth and privilege, families betrayed from within -- went completely over their head.  That Scott developed a relationship with Derek as a brother and as Allison as a lover -- parallel, what parallel?  The Hales and the Argents are the villains and the antagonists of the seasons of the show, because for all the tragedy of the Hale Fire and the tradition of the Argent Code, they tried to continue their battle on the backs of innocent teenagers.

Recently I asked a BNF, Athena Dark, what she thought the theme of Teen Wolf was.  Her reply was, to paraphrase, that does a television show have to have a theme?  Can’t it just be enjoyed? And this is a fan who developed a primer on color theory for the show.  This is a fan who argued that the genre of a show which scores its fight scenes with dubstep is cosmic horror.  This is a fan who suspected benevolent characters of trying to summon a demon and artificially engineering the main characters rise to be the ... main character.   This is a fan who argued the putative and often-described hero of the piece is actually a cautionary tale in the same vein as Anakin Skywalker.  This is a fan who argued, based on the main character telling someone that this was his story in the last episode, that the entire series was unreliable narration, the point of which was ... I still have no idea what the point of it would be, since it was never used for any effect by the production.

I choose to believe that Athena Dark didn’t really confuse ‘theme’ with ‘moral,’ but I still have to point out that her conclusion supports the premise of this post.  She is an exemplar of the fandom.  They, too, can work out elaborate theories and headcanons which ignore parts of the show for which they didn’t care or to which they didn’t pay attention.  They don’t need a theme because a theme encompasses the entire show and not just the depth of Peter’s v-necks.  It’s all for their enjoyment, so if they create an alternate reading of the production where Scott is a bad friend and Stiles and Derek were destined to be an eternal love, what’s the harm?  

But there is harm.  I could point you to Stitch’s articles in Teen Vogue about the harm fandom does with its misogynoir all the time.  I could ask you think about the hijinks endemic in the Supernatural fandom.  Or to think about the damage done to the Star Wars franchise when the fandom got obsessed with a patricidal Space Nazi.   Teen Wolf’s been finished for three-and-a-half years, and we’re still arguing if Scott McCall was Latino and, if so, if he was a hero or just a monster in disguise.

Anyone who watched the show for the show would have seen that both the Hales and the Argents were antagonists to Scott and helped forge him into the protagonist as he helped reclaim both of the families from evil and tragedy.  It wasn’t Stiles that brought Derek to the point he was in the series finale.  Derek didn’t come back for Stiles, he came back for Scott.  It wasn’t Peter who brought Chris Argent to the point he was in the series finale.  He got a new family because he came back to help Scott.   

And the only way for Fandom to deny it is to pretend they were watching something else.

[bangtansflower]

Smitten Chapter 4

A/N: Uploading on my mobile as laptop acting up! Will sort out the links later when I'm home 😊 it may be a mess at the moment but mobile doesn't really help with formatting so I'll be editing a lot when home I just wanted jt to upload now! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Word count: 1,961

Warnings: Jungkook being a jealous little bean and Y/N being full of happiness.

Masterlist / Previous / Next

Tag list: @captainsjoongs @xanny91

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Jungkook sat in the middle of the floor eyebrows furrowed deep in thought. Chungha looked at him worried biting her lip, something she did when she too was deep in thought. Namjoon, who had heard of the newcomer and effect he had on Y/N sat on the couch racking his brain for some sort of indication on this guy, he knew everyone in the town, it wasn’t hard after all. A groan of frustration came from a black haired man who was too pale for his own good. “Yoongi, don’t stress yourself” Namjoon spoke in a calm voice, he hated seeing his pack mate like this. “Yes, but I need to find out, he is an anomaly we are supposed to know everything about everyone and this guy has nothing. And so does his friends!” Biting the skin around his nail he leaned forward rubbing his eyes with his other hand before focusing on the screen in front of him “He could be a hunter after all, we need to get to the bottom of this and fast.” Jungkooks positioned tensed a low growl coming from him, “A hunter? My mate may be best friends with a hunter?! Not just one but three” Anger slowly bubbling up inside him. Chungha leapt forward and rubbed his back trying to calm her friend, “It will be okay Jungkook, let’s just wait until Yoongi and the others find something”. At her words, Jungkook slowly calmed down, but the anger was still evident. “Well it best be soon”. He glared at the wooden floor in front of him. “Chunga” At the sound of her alpha calling her, she snapped her head up towards him showing she was listening, “Are you sure you don’t know anything about him? Out of all of us you are the one that was raised practically by her side”. Nodding slowly Chungha started to bite her lip again continuing to try and keep Jungkook calm. “It may be true that we are sisters by bond not blood and that we tell everything to each other but this is something unusual. All I can think of is when she goes away each year on a trip with just her and her mother, but it is always a different place never the same”.

Glancing over at Chungha Yoongi licked his dry lips, “list all the places she has been too, there must be a connection somehow. We need to find out as soon as possible about this new guy for Jungkooks sanity and the packs safety”. Just as she was going to reply loud noises of the other guys arriving distracted their attention. “Have you guys heard about the new guys?” Taehyung casually slipped into the conversation taking a seat next to Namjoon on the couch. Eyebrows furrowing more Namjoon questioned “New guys? I thought there was only three?” He took a look towards Jungkook only to see confusion plasted on the younger boys face. “There was only just the three?” He said tilting his head trying to remember if there were more boys involved. No he would have noticed if there were. Jimin stretched and muttered “there are a few guys in the year below and some in our year. I think they mentioned that there was a big group of them that moved here” He stated not noticing Jungkook get more and more tense. “I think some are related, the very best that they treat each other as family just like us” Jin piped in eating some of his crisps. Looking at the youngest member Jin narrowed his eyes clockings something was wrong. “Why what is wrong”. Hoseok who was silent all this time tilted his head slightly “Is there something going on with the arrival of these new guys and Y/N?” Namjoon sighed and nodded. “Jungkook, explain from the start”, the younger groaned not wanting too but knowing that he must if they were to get to the bottom of it all. “It started this morning in science class”

“Class this is Kim Mingyu he will be joining us so please be nice to him” At this you were radiating happiness much to Jungkook's demise. He noticed your not so hidden pout when Mingyu was partened up with Jenny who hadn't had a partner, he also noticed the two of you constantly making eye contact whenever you could making him and Jenny, who was trying to gain his attention, turn sour. Noticing Jungkooks face had fallen you look at him in confusion, why was he so moody all of a sudden you thought to yourself not putting the pieces together. He looks so cute, you didn't realise until it was too late that you poked his cheek, making him jump in shock looking at you with big doe eyes, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the right words to say, a slight blush adorning his face. He nearly forgot why he was mad for a moment. Making a little giggle you apologised “Sorry Jungkook, you were in a world of your own then, everything okay?” He nodded and looked away pouting a little “Yeah just a little tired”. You decided to poke his cheek once more before focusing on the task in front of you “Well the quicker we get a move on with this the quicker the day will go on” Smiling you carry on with the experiment making Jungkook smile, least you weren’t paying attention to that Mingyu guy anymore.

The day passed by fast, fate seemingly to be on Jungkooks side as you were paired with him in most classes for projects, though when it came to the last class of the day, history, Jungkook truly could have ripped someones head off. Not only was he having to deal with this Mingyu guy but not he had to deal with you being all buddy buddy with these two other guys, if he remembered correctly their names were Ming Hao who was from China and Seokmin who was loud when he was joking with Mingyu making you laugh. How did you know those three, he looked at the three of you and clenched his fists. If it was just one then he would have been okay but three? Fate really was testing him. To make things worst he had to deal with all four of you messing around being best of friends for the rest of term as you all have been assigned on the same project. Oh how Jungkook wished he could pick you up and whisk you away, considering all he felt at this moment in time was anger his heart did leaps when you smiled. He swore if you smiled at him like that he would turn into mush and do whatever you asked him to do. He would do whatever you asked him to do either way but still, that smile he would protect with his life. Feeling a tug you sneak a glance at Jungkook and felt butterflies in your stomach, noticing the way he looked at you it seemed like you held his entire world in the palm of your hands. Shoving the thought out of your head you giggled at something Seokmin said which resulted in Ming Hao glaring at the latter. The bell signalling the end of class made all of you jump slightly, grinning you all quickly packed your things away and made the way to the door. “Chungha I am getting a lift with the guys okay?” You beamed at the girl who nodded slowly in confusion “You sure Y/N? I don’t mind taking you home, besides I don't trust people we don't know” she stated trying to convince you to go with her instead which usually worked. Shaking your head you hummed “Nope it's okay! I’ll see you tomorrow!” You gave her a big hug which she reciprocated. Wandering off Jungkook made eye contact with the tall guy named Mingyu who slunk his arm around your shoulders, eyes narrowing when he saw the other guy smirk. Chunga pulled him out of his angry thoughts “Lets go back to yours, we need to inform Namjoon and try and find out about them.” “Especially that Mingyu guy” he replied following Chunga he got into her car messaging the others he was getting a lift with Chunga. They both missed the big excited squeal you gave when you saw some other recognisable faces, also missing you tackling them into a big group hug.

The room was silent. Everyone soaking in what they heard. “We need to get others involved, we need to determine if they are a threat” Namjoon stated, “we also need to make sure that they don’t take Y/N away from Jungkook, which means Jungkook you cannot wait any longer” He commanded. Jungkook's eyes widened and nodded in response. “Jungkook we understand that you don't want her being dragged into our world just yet but it has gone on too long, both your minds will be destroyed if you don't do anything soon. And with these new guys appearing as the hunters draw closer just make things worse for us. Especially if they are close to Y/N.” Hoseok added. He was usually one of the most optomistic members, but when he is serious, he means business . Swallowing  Jungkook glanced around the room, a serious look on his face “Lets get more information on them whilst I think of how to break it to Y/N”. At this everyone moved some leaving the room to gather information, others going on their phones or laptops. A sense of dread basking the room, all worried about what was to come.

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Letting out a scream you dragged Mingyu into the pool with you. “Yah you baboon you got me all wet” You shouted with a smile on your face. “You got me wet too if you haven't noticed” Minyu rebutted splashing you some more. Watching from the side of the pool Joshua sat with Jeonghan and Seungcheol half in discussion. “Seokmin come here a moment” Seungcheol called making the latter look in his direction before wandering over “You called?~” he grinned. “Did the other werewolves notice anything suspicous ? When you were at school?” shaking his head he took a bite out of his ice cream “Nope they didn’t, these pendants do a great job at covering our scent so why would they?” He shrugged not at all bothered by it. “There are other werewolves at the school? Oh wow how did I not notice all this time” You laugh drying your hair with a towel not at all bothered by the news of werewolves. “That's because you don't pay attention as usual” Jeonghan smirked as you faked being hurt “Wow. I can feel the love” You pout heart over chest making the others laugh. "Hey Y/N… Did you know your female friend…. Eh What's her name… Chungha? She is a werewolf too!" Ming Hao added, your eyes widened ending mouth wide open like a fish, you were truly and utterly shocked. "really!? Man I'm a crap friend for not noticing but she hasn't told me" you pouted a little upset but shrugged it off. "oh well she will tell me when she is ready!" you beamed at the others and their hearts melted. You were the one thing that tied all the pack together. A small howl made you all turn your head and you grin running over to a tawny brown wolf who broke through the greenary. “Chan!” You tackle the wolf who yipped in happiness licking your face. Other wolfs broke into the garden and you squealed even more in happiness. Oh how you were glad that the boys were here.

[mimzy-writing-online]

I'm incredibly sorry for this ask , but I'd like the opinion of different writers. I have this story I have finished. It's has been re-read, edited, polished. It's technically done. The story is consistent, the pacing is okay. But what I don't like is how the characters are portrayed. They lack life, and I think it may be because during the years I improved my writing, and now I'm sure I'd be able to do better. What would you do? Would you rewrite the story from scratch? Thanks in advance.

First, no worries about asking for advice. That’s legit what I’m here for. And having been in the same position you are now, (twice) I know how impossible it feels.

Off the bat, advice I would recommend: 

Beta Reading: Get some fresh eyes to look at it, ideally someone who 1) reads books in that genre and that age range, and 2) has no obligation to worry about your feelings.

Thoroughly consider why you want to rewrite it: make an actual pros and cons list. It sounds silly, but it helps because you realize what decision you’re arguing for, what your instinct says.

Give yourself a shot at attempting a rewrite. Give yourself a set time limit to try it out. Your current book isn’t going anywhere and publishing takes forever anyway, so what’s another month or another three months?

At the end of this trial run you can ask yourself: Did a rewrite make it better? Do the characters and their world feel more alive? Even if it looks like a mess, given more time to finish and edit, would it look better than the original?

If you find you like the characters better, if you feel like you know them better, then you can consider going through the book and highlighting where they feel out of character compared to your new understanding of the characters

Watch Whispers of the Heart. I mean it! It’s a Studio Ghibli movie, and I swear to god it will inspire you and make this decision a little easier. The whole movie is about developing your creative craft. Its overall analogy is that of a geode. Your craft looks rough and sloppy on the outside, but with time, practice, and love you’ll find the beauty hidden underneath and make it shine. Amazing movie, it will change how you think about writing.

Now, finally, ask yourself: Is this the story I want to debut with? Is this the story I want to begin my writing career with?

This will be when you make your decision.

That’s the most objective advice I can give you. Since you’re asking a lot of writers for their stance, you’ll probably have a few different opinions, but I think running through this troubleshoot method will give you a chance to see for yourself.

My biased opinion?

It comes from my own experience with A Witch’s Memory. 

This is about to be a very long story, fair warning, but it’s my entire thought process over 7-8 years of working on and off with the same project. A big part of the reason why I’m going in depth about the experience is because I keep going back to what you said:

“I think it may be because during the years I improved my writing, and now I'm sure I'd be able to do better. What would you do?”

The same thing happened to be. I started the series when I was much younger, but in the 7.5 years since then I’ve changed a lot as both a person (not adult/not teenager) and as a writer (who’s had several projects since then). I’m gonna walk you through 7.5 years of personal development and how it affected the project.

I joke that A Witch’s Memory has three universes, and those universes are all different rewrites. I first started the series I was seventeen. I finished the rough drafts of three books in the series and got down to full on editing the first book after I graduated high school. Within a year I had a finished novel that wasn’t necessarily polished (not by my standards today) but at the time I was ready to move forward and publish. I sent query letters out to lit agents but didn’t get any bites back. I didn’t get to work at it for long due to health issues, my whole body kind of just crashed so for six months I was too sick to do much of anything, let alone stress myself out over query letters. I started community college the next semester and got more involved in school than in writing.

17 when I started, 18 when I started editing, 19 when I queried and got sick, almost turning 20 when I started college.

I put the book on hold for another year and focused on school. During that time I had a lot of personal development as a person. I got more experience being myself, being an adult who can make decisions for themself.

And I realized that at age 19 I’d developed a lot of insecurities about my book.

In my case, it was the world building. I love my characters, and at their heart they’re still the same, albeit a bit more realistic. I re-examined what about the world building I didn’t like.

It felt too much like Twilight to start, with the way vampires and werewolves were supposed to hate each other, and witches and fairies hated each other, because that just made sense to a 17 year old who had never read paranormal before Twilight changed the direction of the genre.

I didn’t like magic being a secret that no human could know about, so I changed that. I didn’t like my character’s backstories too much, so I tweaked that too. For the best.

At age 20/21 (it was right around my birthday) I rewrote the entire first book. After finishing the rough draft I looked at editing it, looked at starting the rough draft of the second book, and I realized I didn’t like this version either.

So I put it on hold for anther two years. I worked on two different projects, experimented with writing style, got to know myself as a person better.

At 23 I reexamined what I didn’t like about “Universe 2″ and I realized-

I wasn’t comfortable with the way the book was written now. Too many main characters meant to many pov changes and too many personal plot lines to plan. I could see from the beginning how much I favored Anna and Ulric and Felix over my other main characters, so I cut my cast of six main characters down to three, focusing on my favorites. I also saw that the setting wasn’t working for me and it would be a lot less stress for me to chance the setting to somewhere I was more familiar with, setting it mostly in America instead of the U.K.

And I decided to stop worrying about what my past beta readers would think if the book didn’t look the same in “Universe 3″ and to just run with my heart.

(For any wondering, the beta reader in question is my mum, who has been the biggest supporter of my writing since I was 14 and believed I would be published even when I was ready to give up writing and work at a different career. She’s very attached to “Universe 1″ but it’s not where I want to go, and I know she’ll love this new direction when she reads it)

I started the rough draft for Universe 3 in January of 2019 (almost a year ago to the day I’m writing this). I did it on a whim. I had a dream of Anna and Ulric flying to safety from a villain on a broomstick and I asked myself why witches never had broomsticks in my old world, and I was like “why not, let’s add it”

And I just messed with world building. I aimed it for a more whimsical feel than my older angsty versions. I’m gonna blame all the Studio Ghibli movies I saw that year. Some of my local theatres have been doing special weekends where they show the movies, and I’ve gone to see four in the last year or so. I saw Kiki’s Delivery Service a few months earlier with my best friend (A) and then a month after starting the new draft I saw Howls Moving Castle and Spirited Away (same week, I think, all in theatre) and then as I was finishing the rough draft I saw Whispers of the Heart for the first time.

(this was the moment I realized that specific movie would help A LOT on this decision making process, so I included it above)

Anyway, I just gave myself permission to go in a completely different direction with my book.

I should note, that at 23 I had been visually impaired/blind for some 3 years, although it wasn’t medically official until I was 22. I’d also fallen in love for the first time and broken my own heart. I’d also spent the last two years struggling with gender and sexual identity and really starting to understand that part of myself. 

So in general, the whole experience with those last two years of my life really changed the direction I took the book. 

I focused more on internal struggle as well as the outside “main bad guy” I’d always been planning to work with. It 

I kept the heart of my characters the same. Anna is still the kindest person you’ll ever meet, as well as sarcastic and brilliant and studious. Ulric is an anxious mess who is crazy loyal to his friends and who wants to gain his own independence. Felix is still a brat, but a loving one with the dryest sarcasm and a penchant for mischief.

Anna’s more cautious than her original incarnation. Ulric wasn’t disabled in previous versions (but at 23 I was disabled and I wanted to write a blind character, but I didn’t want blindness to be their only trait, so I took my most developed character and made him blind). Some of the characters are POC instead of white, I let myself have multiple LGBTQ characters (because 17 year old me thought the token queer was the norm because I only had one queer friend before that and we weren’t that close) and I changed some origin stories. It’s much better for that.

Growing up taught me how to put more life in my books, how to write more realistically less melodramatically, and what it feels like to have friends. Seventeen year old me didn’t have many friends in life, but 24 year old me has some wonderful friends.

Summary in Short?? (can I even do that?)

This advice post is getting long and I’m feeling bad, so okay, here I am: I’m almost 25 (in March). 17 and 23 year old me were very different people with different priorities and different levels of experience. And if I had to choose which book I would go with? 

I’d stay with Universe 3 (and Universe 1 will just be a thing my mum and I know and keep to ourselves, mostly)

I’m nearly done with the 1st edit. I still have days of self doubt, but they’re nothing like what I had years ago. I’m closer to publishing than I was before, mostly because I have a solid plan now and I’ll be self-publishing, allowing me to publish on my own.

In my case, rewriting was the best decision I could have made. I’m not everyone else though, nor am I you. You know yourself and your story better than anyone, and I know you are the most qualified person to make that decision. I have confidence in your ability.

[letscuttothefeeling]

season three episode two

Before we get into the intricacies of this subpar episode, I want you to close your eyes, inhale, and reflect: is the guy you’re dating your boyfriend, or is he a father figure to you? Think about it. Now let’s cut to the feeling.

I don’t know about you, but seeing a groggy Old Man Ish clumsily lumber around in a backwards hat and a short-sleeved gorilla tee while holding his morning coffee made me immediately sick. And I’m just watching it on TV. Imagine being Madisson and waking up to that. Like, yes, this show is my sole will to live, but even I can’t stomach this. It really can’t get worse. Oh my God. Ish just described Brandon as “agro.” It did get worse. 

Thank god Ish is finally off my screen and I’m back to looking at G baby and BG. Appetite restored. Jared’s also there, so I’m unable to entirely recover from the Ish debacle, but I guess this is the best I can hope for. And may I just add that I am absolutely loving this playful “boys” scene? Seeing the guys boolin with their goon squad is bringing the vibes up big time. BG doesn’t even seem upset about Dadisson – in fact, he begins talking about a potential budding romance with Amanda! And just like that, we’re back on track.  

Strap in. The scene I’ve been waiting for. Dadisson’s reveal to her actual, biological father. Fade in. Jon, Madisson’s bio dad, is seated outside at a cute restaurant, completely unaware of the bomb that is about to explode in his face. As he looks up and sees his daughter walking over with her former producer, you can see the confusion setting in. Wait, what? Why is my youngest daughter walking in with Ish, the show’s old producer? Isn’t she supposed to be introducing me to her boyfriend? Oh, no . . . I think at that point, Jon must know, but he’s remaining willfully ignorant for as long as possible. And I get that, Jon. I do.

 Ish has this special oafish trudge that seriously makes him look like some sort of ogre and I am absolutely living for it. When the lovebirds take their seats, a dark cloud rolls over the Key. Reality sets in. Madisson starts telling her real father about her new Daddy, and my heart is racing. After establishing their respective ages, Jon takes a deep breath and calmly asks the most uncomfortable question your Dad could ever ask you about your boyfriend: “Is he a father figure to you?”

Let’s decompress. This has to be one of the rawest scenes on reality TV, so pour one out for Jon, who at this point was undoubtedly racking his brain trying to recall the exact moment he fucked Madisson up so badly that she now actively chooses to bang 50-year olds. I feel bad for you, Jon. Back to the show.

Madisson is crying, Jon is reeling over his mistakes, and Ish is trying to defend his relationship. As for me, I have one question: could Siesta Key have provided these poor souls with drinks before forcing them to do this on camera?

After that cringey scene, I’m more than happy to watch Amanda and BG have a SPICY meetuppé. Unfortunately, Amanda begins serving me really strange vibes and I’m kind of scared of her. There’s too much licking involved on this date and I’m not interested. Let’s cut to the next scene, where Madisson and Brandon meet to hopefully get closure.

Finally, we get a glimpse of the breakuppé timeline! If you remember correctly, Season 2 ended with us thinking we’d get a glorious Bradisson reunion in Season 3. Alas, we have Dadisson instead. Please don’t misconstrue this as a complaint, because it’s very far from that. I’m just a little confused as to how Dadisson came about, and apparently, so is BG. Madisson explains that after she moved to LA, she no longer felt connected to Brandon. Two months after breaking things off, she began taking to Ish. Brandon isn’t buying it. He’s convinced their relationship has been brewing for some time. Personally, I believe her. She’s never lied and I think Brandon is projecting his own issues onto Madisson. Thoughts?

Lots of tough conversations today – now we’re at Cara’s waiting anxiously for her to drop the news we all knew was coming from the moment she started dating Garrett. That she wants to break up. I think now is as good a time as any to unpack Garrett’s love life. Garrett. Get it together. The whole “hot but stupid” narrative is something the producers are pushing . . . right? You cannot possibly be this idiotic IRL. But love is blinding, I guess. Garrett was cheated on by Kelsey (with Alex), used by Juliette to make someone jealous (Alex), and used by Cara to piss off Kelsey and Juliette (and Alex.) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, and you can call me Garrett Miller.

 Okay, time for Kelsey and Juliette’s housewarming / rosé party! That had to be the whitest sentence I’ve ever written. The party begins and everyone seems to be in good spirits. Side note – I really applaud the film crew for catching everything that they do. They even got a short clip of Garrett having difficulty opening the front door and included it to perpetuate the very true belief that Garrett is actually a failed artificial intelligence robot project gone wrong.

Chloe arrives with a shot ski, but “Con Artist” Robby has to one-up her by bringing a TV. She’s convinced he’s bringing it to make up for how small his dick is. Boys, you heard it here first – don’t even THINK about bringing a TV to a party unless you want everyone to know how small your penis is! Madisson’s not even paying attention to Boring Robby’s embarrassing genital blunder because she’s too busy eyeing Amanda and Brandon. She even has the audacity to whisper, “I just hope he has the best intentions.” Right, because Ish definitely has the best intentions with you. Okay, Madisson.

 Notably missing from the soirée is Cara and my new favorite cast member, Victoria. Kelsey obviously vetoed Cara’s invite, so C and V decided to get a romantic relaxing beachside massage instead. Cara begins explaining that she’s only stringing Garrett along because he functions as her safety net. Meanwhile, at the party, Juliette is having to spell this out to simple Garrett. He looks glum. Suddenly, Garrett’s “unhappy hour” t-shirt seems much more fitting.

 Chloe and Amanda are in a corner, and shocker, they’re talking shit about Juliette and Robby. Juliette overhears, confronts them, and tensions rise. Chloe and Juliette step outside to discuss it further, and it becomes very apparent to me that Juliette is utterly plastered. Chloe is basically sober. What could go wrong?

 Everything! Chloe starts off by asking Juliette what she thinks about their friendship. Obviously, these two have a sordid past, but Juliette is literally too blackout to articulate anything, so Chloe’s immediately won this before it even really begins. Towards the end of the conversation, Juliette starts wagging her finger in Chloe’s face. Chloe slaps it away, so naturally, Juliette retaliates by PUNCHING HER IN THE HEAD. Juliette, I love you, and I’m normally on your side, but this is just not a good lewk. Chloe is straight chilling while Juliette attempts to rip out her extensions. So of course, Chloe looks like the normal one, and Juliette looks like she’s on The Bad Girls Club instead of Siesta Key. Hopefully, she’ll learn a lesson from this, because violence is never the answer!

Unfortunately, Juliette doesn’t learn that lesson! As soon as Amanda steps in to break up the fight, Juliette also tries to hit her. She also can’t understand why Amanda is being so harsh when Amanda was the one who punched Chloe in the face and broke her nose two years ago. Which I feel like is valid! Everyone is screaming, running around and fighting. Genuine chaos. Anarchy. The only person there who is remaining calm is Brandon. He is quite literally the human embodiment of Switzerland. Immediately I’m reminded of that part in Twilight’s third book, Eclipse, when Bella is forced to be the voice of reason and soothe the tensions between vampire Edward and werewolf Jacob. In order to fight the vampire army that Victoria’s newborn lover has created, the vampires and werewolves must put aside their inherent differences and join forces. If not, they could totally ravage Seattle, travel to the quaint town of Forks, and potentially eat Police Chief Charlie Swan!! By becoming a neutral Switzerland, Bella narrowly avoids this horrific fate. Like Bella, Brandon remains neutral in a time of utter disaster. Thanks, Brandon. But more importantly, thank YOU, Stephanie Meyer.

 Kelsey swiftly removes everyone from her home and starts looking for Amanda’s lost phone while Boring Robby hugs Juliette and tries to make her feel better about being the worst. And Kelsey standing around in the background after having to forcibly remove all her friends from her property while her roommate makes out with her boyfriend is such a vibe.

After Cara comes to the rescue to pickuppé the stranded party guests, the episode ends. Overall, I was pretty unhappy with this episode, but I feel that it was a necessary step to get us back in the right direction. I just miss Alex. He needs to return from Europe immediately. I’m tired of all of this girl drama and I want Boring Robby to become Interesting Robby. The next episode seems promising – but we’ll have to wait and see.

[theofficialstereklibrary]

Top 18 Sterek Fics 2017

Hello, our lovely followers!

For the past two years, we’ve been giving you guys a list of our favorite fics that we read and we are back at it again! These are the fics that really stood out to us in 2017. (here are our faves from 2016 and 2015)

Like always, this fandom came through with so many good fics this past year and we hope to see more and more sterek fics posted even with the show done.

We wish you all the best in 2018 <3

Kass’:

There Are No Wolves In California by kitsunequeen (1/1 | 7,579 | G)

Hunter!Stiles accidentally hits a wolf with his car and can't bear to leave him in the road to die. It's not till he gets the wolf home that he sees its eyes glow red... ------- Even everyday roadkill is upsetting, but this thing… Moments ago it was probably a majestic beast, and now it’s a mangled pile of soon-to-be rotting flesh. He presses a shaking hand to the only part of its chest left intact, not even thinking about whether it'll give him rabies or some other awful disease.

He’s about to pull back when something even crazier happens.

He realizes the wolf is breathing.

We Have Potential by dragon_temeraire (2/2 | 10,196 | PG13)

Derek has finally been invited to the annual North American Werewolf Convention. The only problem? They’re expecting him to bring a significant other. He doesn’t actually have one, but everyone volunteers Stiles for the job.

A Royal Christmas Engagement by skoosiepants (1/1 | 25,865 | NC17)

Young omega Warden Lord Mieczysław Stilinski, given the royal request of marrying Crown Prince Derek Hale of Triskelion, predictably messes the whole entire thing up.

Or –

An arranged marriage, mistaken identity, a/b/o, accidental heat fic

Hale’s Modern Encyclopedia of Playing Cards (and Dating Humans) by thepsychicclam (1/1 | 49,698 | R)

Wolves don't date humans. And Derek's okay with that. He's got his Pack, his friends in the Pack network, and lacrosse. Plus, he plays cards with his grandma all the time. Stiles Stilinski definitely doesn't factor into his life - no matter how much of a crush Derek has on him.

But when bird creatures attack Derek, Stiles, and their friends in the Preserve, Stiles finds out about werewolves and things get pretty complicated. For Derek at least. And he thought school was his only problem, but now he's grounded and Stiles is hanging around way too much for Derek to ignore him any longer.

Slow Hands by aussiebee (1/1 | 8,489 | NC17)

Derek is suddenly made aware of Stiles in an entirely new and uncomfortable way; specifically, his hands. His wide, strong, clever and dextrous hands.

Derek is kinda screwed.

The Start of Our Forever by Cobrilee (1/1 | 20,546 | NC17)

Stiles is ready to get out of Beacon Hills and start his new life, free of the supernatural. A random discovery in an antique store in Denver proves you can never leave it all behind... and encourages him to find it again. What ensues is four and a half years of pining, self-discovery, personal growth, a whole hell of a lot of love, and a realization that nightmares can still become fairy tales (happily-ever-afters included).

In Which Laura Is Never Going To Let Derek Live This Down by Omimouse (1/1 | 1,587 | PG13)

Prompt: A soulmate fic where you’ve got “Help! Save me!” on your wrist. So you do the martial arts classes, and ROTC, and get a concealed carry permit, you are READY, you are SO up for this… and then one day you’re at a friend’s house, and someone comes pounding down the stairs laughing and ducks behind you and goes “Help! Save me!” and that’s how you find out your soulmate was escaping a tickle fight.

“Laura, for the love of god, stop laughing and get him off of me.”

Gnashing Teeth and Criminal Tongues (conspire against the odds) by LadySlytherin (1/1 | 14,269 | R)

When Stiles mouths off to the wrong set of witches, he finds himself unable to control his tongue around a certain alpha werewolf. As Stiles struggles with the lesson the witches want him to learn, he knows it's only a matter of time until the truth comes out. It always does.

This is Not (In Fact) Okay by rileywrites (1/1 | 3,062 | PG13)

Derek and Stiles end up partnered for a project, and Derek contents himself with being a part of Stiles' life. For a while. ... Derek meets Stiles in his political science class. It's a 200-level class, so he doesn't expect any seniors to be involved. He definitely doesn't expect the hotshot senior midfielder from the lacrosse team to be in the class, let alone sitting beside him.

Tine's:

pick it up if we're moving too slow by standinginanicedress (12/12 | 139,856 | NC17)

“…I want a dude who’s going to take me out on dates. And I want him to meet my dad in, like, a sweater vest and khakis and shake his hand and talk about sports with the guy. And I want him to have a car and an apartment – not like, nice ones? But ones, you know? He’s got a dog, too. He drives me around and buys me stuff and is nice to my dad and my friends but then, like,” he squeezes the basketball extra hard and is sure he feels some air being let out of it, “…he ties me up sometimes, too. Is that too much to ask for? Am I reaching for the stars?”

Scott shakes his head, shuffling the cards and making piles out of them, likely by category. “There are no kinksters in Beacon Hills. We’ve been over this.”

To Make It Right by kitsunequeen (41/? | 121,147 | R)

In a society where the werewolves have been enslaved by the humans, Derek has had enough owners to know who the real monsters are. He's also had enough to know not to trust a word out of Stiles' mouth, no matter how nice an act he puts on.

The only thing that's kept Derek going for all these years is guilt. Now, though, he has a mission that might just allow him to set some of this right...

If only he can get away from Stiles.

-----

In which Derek's been abused all his life, Stiles just wants to show him he's not like his past owners, and they've both got a plan. The only question is, whose is more flawed?

And the Cold Pulls You Down by blacktofade (1/1 | 12,967 | NC17)

“Do you believe in ghosts?” Stiles asks Derek one night after he’s settled into bed, listening to the sound of Derek brushing his teeth in the bathroom.

“Ghosts?” Derek asks, voice muffled by toothbrush and paste as he stands in the doorway to stare at Stiles.

Or, the one where Stiles is 99.9% sure their house is haunted and no one believes him.

Seat Belts & Gravity by calrissian18 (1/1 | 22,411 | NC17)

People leave in Beacon Hills, give up on the town, the people, on life itself. And he and Derek are still here, six years later, still able to drink a beer and share space. It’s kind of remarkable in a really understated way.

Constantly on the Cusp by alisvolatpropiis (13/13 | 40,884 | NC17)

Stiles is gay, out and proud, and a Beacon Hills deputy. Derek is a firefighter and war veteran who thinks he's straight; or, Derek and Stiles have lots of semi-public hatesex on the road to Love.

Bruises and Hickies, Stitches and Scars by ElisAttack (12/12 | 89,808 | NC17)

“You’re my lawyer, Derek. What are you going to do, draft up a contract for yourself?”

Or the one where Stiles is a professional dominant, Derek is his lawyer, and their professional relationship suddenly becomes not so professional.

Also, faeries.

Start Small, Like Oak Trees by SmallBirds (1/1 | 24,234 | R)

The months following Allison's death have passed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem to lose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts. Eventually, he thinks, he'll just fade away. He isn't sure anyone would notice. Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Hale attempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory the world doesn't seem so awful. He's not sure what he'd been expecting when he eventually convinces Derek to move into the Stilinski's spare bedroom, but a newfound passion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn't it.

Can't Take the Heat? by Ilovesocks_24 (15/15 | 55,425 | PG13)

“Hi, I’m Stiles, and what I have for you today is…”

“Stop, just stop.” Grumpy Eyebrows interrupted. “That is honestly the worst looking Pasta Primavera I have ever seen. I don’t even want to eat it, it looks so bad.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes. No one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara without even trying it. And no one insulted his creamy bacon carbonara after they tried it either.

“It’s actually a Creamy Bacon Carbonara, asshole,” Stiles snapped. “And for the record, it’s supposed to look like that.” Or the one where Stiles is a new sous chef at Full Moon Steakhouse and Derek is the Gordon Ramsay of all head chefs. So of course they fall in love.

Written in the Stars by Quixoticity (6/6 | 26,596 | R)

Derek Hale is a lucky guy. He's got a great family, good friends, and a fulfilling job as a tattoo artist.

He's also one of the twenty-five per cent of the population born with a soul mark.

He likes his life, but he's waiting for his soul-match. The odds of meeting them aren't great but hey, Derek's a lucky guy. He has faith.

He can't believe how good his luck really is when one day his soul-match wanders right into his studio, all long limbs and copper eyes. There's just one problem: Stiles is there to get his soul mark covered up. Permanently.

[elenajohansenauthor]

Fictober, Day 6: “I’ve heard enough, this ends now.”

OCs: Shannon and Noah

Project: Untitled paranormal romance for Fictober18, now tagged #spookyromancenovel on my blog

Potential Triggers: really emotional shouting!

Word Count: 2,432 (um, wow, I had no idea I’d written so much today, it was just flowing out of me)

About: The rest of the scene I started with yesterday’s prompt. The first big fight between my lovebirds, and the first time I get to make it clear what they each value most.

Again, #spookyromancenovel has a WIP page now, where you can find all the Fictober posts if you need to catch up, as well as the novel’s [temporary] blurb, character info, and eventually world-building stuff! I’d really appreciate asks from anyone who’s interested in knowing more.

Eating the pizza seemed to improve his mood, but I bit my lip against giggling when his stomach growled loudly—after he'd finished the slice. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“Don't worry about it. Let's get started, so you can get out as soon as the sun's down.”

He surveyed the table. “This looks alarmingly like all the times we crammed for tests together.”

Just like that, a hundred memories competed for space in my head all at once. Being neighbors had led to us being friends, in the way that kids will when they're young and geography is more important than shared interests. Staying friends throughout high school had naturally evolved into study partners. Both sets of our parents approved, which was great—as long as we studied camped out in the living room at his house, at least. Noah's mother was the type convinced that “studying” in private meant something entirely different, and no way was her son going to waste his education kissing girls.

My parents hadn't cared one bit where we studied, because as far as they were concerned, if I couldn't find a nice Vietnamese boy to settled down with, at least Noah was some form of Asian. Half-Japanese was fine with them, so if we wanted to canoodle, that was all good, as long as I didn't “get into trouble.”

The only sex talk I'd ever gotten from my parents was a repeated string of warnings not to get into trouble. I couldn't blame them, though, for my complete lack of a sex life. I was never the type to rebel against authority just because, and I realized early on that dating someone who didn't look like me just to annoy my parents—anyone, white or black or brown—would make me pretty awful. So I tried to have crushes, and I tried not to restrict myself to any one type of guy.

It didn't end up mattering, because I'd had my heart set on Noah since I was six years old. No one else measured up.

But I wasn't supposed to be mooning over him now, while he watched me space out with a faintly curious and concerned expression. Good sign—he wasn't as numb to emotion as he feared. I rallied myself by grabbing the nearest notebook and looking through it with one hand, while picking up a fresh piece of pizza with the other. “So, let's break this problem down to basics, which means even obvious shit is back on the table. What makes you, Noah Hargrove, different from any other human afflicted by the gargoyle curse?”

“Other humans didn't have their heart removed and replaced with a magically driven construct.” He thought for a moment.

I switched to my current Noah-notebook and started a fresh page with “BRAINSTORMING” in giant letters across the blank space at the top. His response became item number one on a list under the heading Noah's Not Normal. “What else makes you different? Literally anything you can think of. Like—a congenital defect of some kind. Asthma. Whatever.”

“You know I don't have asthma. But, uh...I had my appendix out, remember? When I was ten.” He smiled. “I think I still have the get-well card you made me, in a box somewhere. Or, my parents do, I mean.”

Noah's current relationship with them was far too complicated for me to touch, not now, when we needed to focus. “Right. I doubt the lack of appendix is helping you resist the curse, but it goes on the list.”

By the time I'd finished the pizza, we hadn't come up with anything else relating to his body. He'd been a generally healthy kid, aside from an occasional injury or case of the sniffles. And we'd ruled out any neurodivergence, because he thought his mild social anxiety as a teen couldn't possibly have been a factor, not when he'd taken steps to get over it long before the curse hit him.

“It's weird, though,” he added thoughtfully. “In a lot of ways, this, this isolation, like you called it, reminds me of how I felt then, when I could hardly talk to anyone.”

“Except me.” The parallel was obvious, as soon as he mentioned it.

“Except you. Thanks for always being there for me.”

That. That right there was why I'd been in love with Noah as long as I'd known him, even before I'd realized that how I felt had a name. He'd never pretended he was tough, that he didn't feel things. And he never let an opportunity to thank someone pass him by.

I studied the two-item list so I didn't have to keep looking into his eyes. Missing heart, missing appendix. “This is an ancient curse, and ways of thinking always shape magic. It's from a time before people understood that the brain is the organ of reason, intelligence, and personality. So taking out your heart is what's preventing the transformation from completing.”

“I'm glad you didn't try to take out my brain instead.” Completely serious. “But how did you know what to do?”

“Honestly? Best guess. I know I seemed calm, but I was panicking inside. You were dying.” It was easy to admit when I didn't have to see his reaction. “But most curses involve blood, somehow. If not in casting or transmission, at least to spread it through the body. There's a reason blood magic has such an unsavory reputation. Blood is power. It can be used to good purpose, but it lends itself far better to evil.”

“I think the vampires agree with you.” He paused. “Is that why they hate gargoyles so much? I mean, I don't want to be one, but as far as monsters go, they're reasonably benign. They just, I don't know, hang out on top of the Cathedral and fly around at night to find ghouls and dead animals to eat. I've always thought—well, scavengers do have their place in the food chain.”

“Vampires hate gargoyles?” This was news to me.

“Oh, yeah,” Noah said, almost off-handedly. “It's even in the news. That Conclave that got postponed due to bomb threats? You know, in D.C., between the government and the Vampire Embassy? The proposals were posted online, and I read them. It's low on the list of priorities, but the vampires want recognized government assistance in the extermination of gargoyles.”

I remembered the Conclave being announced, but somehow its postponement hadn't been a blip on my radar, and I sure as hell hadn't paid any attention to what the vampires actually wanted. My stunned confusion that Noah had must have shown. He said, “Miss Conquer with Research doesn't pay attention to politics?”

“Mr. Ghoul Hunter on the Run does?”

“Well, if the entire vampire nation would want to hunt me down and kill me, that's worth knowing.”

“Right. Okay.” I thought for a moment. “Did they want to exterminate anyone else? Like werewolves or banshees or something?”

Noah shook his head. “The whole vampire-werewolf thing is mostly fictional, far as I can tell. Werewolves can't be turned, and vampires, being dead and all, don't get infected with lycanthropy. So they're not really a threat to each other. From what I've seen, as long as the vamps respect wolf territory, there's an understanding of mutual non-aggression.”

“Which is basically how the wolves treat everyone. Got it. I never really researched vampires much, aside from confirming that trying to turn you not only wouldn't lift the curse, it also wouldn't work. Which let me sleep better at night, I'll admit—if vampire were made of stone and could fly, it wouldn't take many of them to pretty much wipe out humans. But if I had been paying more attention, I would have heard about the work on the Archives ages ago, not just today.”

Noah made some small noise, and I looked up to find pure fear on his face. “What?”

I gave him the condensed version of what Wes had told me, finishing up with: “So, I thought, I know it's a stretch but if I could figure out some way to get in there, I'd have access to so much. I'm not expecting to spend an hour there and find a cure, I'm not that naive, but anything I can learn could help.”

“No.”

His flat denial of the first ray of hope I'd had in far too long hurt more than I'd care to admit, and when I go on the defensive, I get flustered. “I wouldn't do it if I couldn't find a way that didn't guarantee my safety--”

“No,” he repeated, louder. “Don't try to find the Archives. It's too risky.”

“But Wes--”

“Wes sounds like a magical wunderkind and all, but don't assume you understand what's going on. Vampires aren't benevolent, they don't share for no reason. If Wes has a skill they can use, they'll barter for it, and they won't turn him instead  to get it for free because vampirism wipes out magic. But you don't have that defense.”

“I'm a Healer!” I protested. I hated arguing with Noah, and this sounded like it was heading for a real fight, but if he wanted to be a sanctimonious ass about my safety, he deserved it. “What good would it do to make me into a plain-Jane vampire?”

“If they managed to get in and saw you doing research about preventing gargoyle transformation--”

“Why wouldn't they want that?” I interrupted. “If they hate gargoyles so much--”

“That would only stop more humans from becoming them, not do anything about the ones that already exist. And that's not my point. You show them you're a genius, and they'll want you to be their genius. Vampires collect people. They'd want you.” He huffed. “It wouldn't even take that. You're gorgeous, they'd turn you and make you into one of their seductresses.”

“What?” Which part of that hurt worst? That Noah casually called me “gorgeous” in the middle of a fight, or that he thought it was a bad thing which made me a candidate for vampire hooker?

He mistook my question for an actual request for enlightenment. “You know the stereotype, Shannon, pretty Asian girl, slinky dress, the fangs only come out after the guy gets what he wants--”

I stood clumsily, knocking the pizza box off the table and banging my shin painfully in the process. “I've heard enough, this ends now. I don't care if you think you're protecting me, you do not get to talk about me like that, like I'm just some, some thing, and you do not get to tell me I'm too young and pretty and unworldly and stupid not to realize that getting into the Archives would be dangerous.”

Noah stood, towering over me. “I never said--”

I was on a roll, though. I rode the momentum and really let him have it, even though part of me feared going too far. Only I didn't know if that meant saying something I could never take back, or pushing Noah to hurt me. I was so angry I almost didn't care. “You call me a genius in one breath, then act I'm an airhead too stupid to live the next. Oh, sorry, big magical protector, didn't mean to threaten your masculinity by assuming I was allowed to look out for myself. What did you think I was going to do, walk into a vampire den and calmly ask them, please don't bite me, take me to your secret collection of priceless manuscripts instead? If I do this, I will have a plan. One that doesn't involve me becoming either a vampire or a freaking prostitute, by the way!”

He grabbed my shoulders from across the table and drew me in. His hands were huge, strong, and uncomfortably cool, but the pressure was gentle. “Promise me you won't do this.”

“No.” I made the single syllable every bit as hard and cold and definite as the stone he was turning into. “How can you ask me not to pursue something that might save you? And you're not even asking, you're demanding.”

He took several heaving breaths before he spoke. I expected rage—I got sadness. “How can you ask me to stand by while you risk your life? What you've been doing so far, devoting yourself to find a solution, that's already so much of your life you've given up for me, don't think I don't understand that. If you save me, but lose yourself in the process—how could I ever live with the guilt?”

Damn him. Damn him for being right, while also being so, so wrong. I put my hands on his chest and pushed, not because I could break free, but because he would know to let me go. I couldn't win against that argument, but I was too riled to capitulate. I ran to my room instead, like any naive, stupid little girl would do. I slammed the door and locked it behind me.

Five or ten minutes into a really satisfying cry, I heard a tap on my door. “Shannon? Are you okay?”

Dumb question, but Noah had never been great at dealing with me when I cried. He did his best, he tried, but it never got easy for him, and I'd had to forgive a lot of well-meaning bumbling over the years. Being direct usually worked best. “I don't want to talk to you right now,” I told him, loudly enough to be clear through the door.

“Okay. When you are, I'd like to apologize.” Not the first time we'd had this exchange.

“Okay.”

“I'll leave you alone, then.”

I cried myself out in maybe half an hour, then lay listlessly in bed, trying not to think about the things he'd said, and failing. Another tap came on the door. He could break it down if he weren't careful, and we both knew it.

“Sun's down. I just, I wanted to let you know I'm going out. I'll try not to wake you when I come back.”

If I didn't answer, he might think I was asleep already, but I doubt he'd believe it. Too early. And he'd worry. I was still angry, but I didn't take any pleasure in being cruel to him. “Okay. Stay safe.”

“You, too.”

When the front door shut, I started to cry again, even though I didn't really understand why.