#@epic games hire me

[clingyduoapologist]

c!tommy Fortnite skin is such a funny concept to me like… c!tommy could two-tap sasuke uchiha with a pump then hit the Griddy on his corpse HOW are Epic Games missing all this free publicity???? Are they stupid???

[soliusss]

happy Valentine's Day ^_^

[frumfrumfroo]

A few years ago, I was discussing The Last Jedi with a classmate and he said something like “It was a good movie, just not a good Star Wars movie”. At the time, I chalked it up to the fact that he was a teenage boy who was probably parroting the vague and irritating criticism that the movie faced at the time. Years later, I began to think about that moment more and more. Despite hearing that critique so many times, hearing it from him made me reflect on the concept of “getting” Star Wars and what fans perceive as “getting” Star Wars.

What the last few years (and the stream of post-TROS shows) have taught me, is that a large portion of fans don’t actually get what Star Wars is. The same is true for those who are currently planning the future of the franchise. They don’t see the value in the mythical framework of the series or care to understand it, it seems like they overlook it entirely. They’re so consumed by the fidelity to “the lore” that they can’t take step back and see the (mythical) elements that drew them to the story in the first place. It feels a bit arrogant of me to say that, but it’s a feeling that’s been bothering me.

Yes, part of the core of the problem is that even the people who actually like SW that DLF hired seem to be mostly fans of the old EU who are fundamentally unconcerned with what SW is actually about. People who prioritise 'lore' and minutiae, who think trivia is worldbuilding or that 'worldbuilding' is what defines the GFFA.

Whereas what actually defines the GFFA is the themes ('love people, that's all Star Wars is' -George Lucas). The universe exists to tell the story and the story exists to communicate the themes. It is character-driven, not plot or setting driven. Things making emotional sense is the only thing that matters in the OT, the logistics are irrelevant and incidental. It's not sci-fi and never has been, there is no interest in explaining the rules of the technology or codifying the Force into a structured system. There is no exploration of the relationship of society with technology because this is an epic fantasy story focussing on the conflict going on in the human spirit between selfishness and love; it's about the coming of age of an individual where the entire setting is established to facilitate that. SW is a story about individuals and their journey to ethical adulthood.

TLJ is written to the mythic archetype and themes of SW, its basic narrative shape is absolutely textbook exactly what anyone who understands literary criticism should have expected. It is exactly what a SW sequel to TFA should and needed to be. Which is why so many people doing that kind of analysis were able to accurately predict its main story beats.

The lore fans who want 'realism', video game power system Force magic, and the kind of moral ambiguity which is foundationally incompatible with SW are not fans of the story, they are fans of the trappings. These are the people who dismiss Vader's redemption as a unforunate incidental that 'everyone' can ignore because the rest of RotJ is good (paraphrase of an actual post I saw).

THE moral victory, the protagonist's moment of vindication, the entire POINT of the story and this dude thinks it's like, an accidental blooper that just kinda snuck into the edit because he wants Luke to be a standard American hero and not to have his worldview challenged.

I am totally comfortable saying they don't get SW no matter how much trivia they've memorised and merch they've collected.

[sweet-s0rr0w]

day 18 of @hprecfest - a fic that makes you laugh

Little Red Courgette, by @blamebrampton - T, 31k, 2009

Summary: When this season's purple courgettes are woefully thin, Draco Malfoy thinks it amounts to small beans. Next thing he knows, the Department of Standards is over-run with leeks, Brussels sprouts all sorts of legislative difficulties, and somebody appears to have put a roquette under Harry Potter. Can Draco seize a marrow victory? Or will his plans for peas be squashed?

All along, Kingsley Shacklebolt finds himself pining for the good old days, when, instead of governing, all you had to worry about were Dark Lords and imminent death.

Excerpt:

They each made it through a bowl of chocolate with sundry other flavours garnishing it. And three large glasses of wine. This was the only excuse Draco could find for the fact that he found himself asking Potter: 'So what's your game?'

'Quidditch,' Potter replied instantly. 'Or Exploding Snap.'

'Here. What's your game here.'

'I'm not with you.'

A part of Draco's brain screamed at him to stop, but the alcohol-soaked part, in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Smythe's, encouraged him to go on. 'Are you working with Kingsley to enlist me as your pawn in a clean out of the Ministry? You were very quick to agree when I asked you to warn The Quibbler off, was it all a ruse?'

'I thought you were engaged in your own hands-on grass-roots Ministry reform, making the one department work well, with an eye to expanding in the future,' Potter rebutted.

'Well I am, so you needn't try making use of me in your nefarious scheme.'

'I don't have a nefarious scheme.'

'So is it all a complicated plan to take some highly personal and embarrassing revenge for the Potter Stinks badges? Because that was years ago. And although I feel a little badly about it now, they were excellent work for a wizard that age.'

'They were, I was impressed. I still have one at home, you know.'

'Really?'

'Yup. I thought you were a wanker at the time, but I have to say, that was a quality Charm.'

'Thanks. So what's left? You're in the hire of someone keen to assassinate the last of the Malfoys; it's all an elaborate if somewhat clumsy plan at seduction; or you're desperate for someone to talk to now that all your friends are getting married and having children.'

'Those are my options? I'll take two, clumsy seduction.'

'Really?'

Back in 2019 when I rediscovered the joys of fanfic after over a decade out, I started off the way any (less tech-savvy) millennial would, by googling 'Drarry fanfiction'. blamebrampton's works were some of the first that I found, and I was immediately entranced. They're such an incredible variety, from the Muggle World-set Doing the Lambeth Walk, to travel fic Beneath Boundless Skies, to wartime epic (and longtime @tackytigerfic obsession) And Save Me From Bloody Men. No matter what the topic, though, blamebrampton's sense of humour always shines through in her sharp observations and witty dialogue, and in Little Red Courgette she's able to showcase this to the fullest extent. It's a hilarious examination of government bureaucracy from the world-weary point of view of one Draco Malfoy, an employee of the Office for the Volumetric Standardisation of Edible Wizarding Greengrocery Produce. The veg related puns are numerous, and excellent, and both Draco and Harry are incredibly endearing. Big rec, for all her works!

If you read it, and especially if you love it, please do let me know! And as always, please do take the time to leave the author a kudos/comment <3

day 1 - first fic you remember reading

day 2 - a fic rated G

day 3 - a fic not on ao3

day 4 - a comfort fic

day 5 - a romantic fic

day 6 - a fic for a ship you don’t normally read

day 7 - the best of your OTP

day 8 - a fic that was recced to you

day 9 - a WIP

day 10 - a fest/event fic

day 11 - an underrated fic

day 12 - a fic from your favourite author

day 13 - a rare pair

day 14 - a fic rated T

day 15 - a fic over 50k

day 16 - a podfic

day 17 - a fic that makes you cry

[barbwritesstuff]

Gaius left me alone, too. And I was so surprised, but I really like it! My MC had been telling everyone (but especially Gaius) "I hate you and I'm not playing these games," which meant Tracy left me alone, Marcel was an amicable stranger (RIP), and Iliya was kind of my buddy-for-hire, and Gaius just kind of went "Oh, you! 🤭" every time.

So it was unexpectedly fulfilling to see Gaius go all "Lisa Simpson's Dinner Meme" looking for something in MC's head only to find "She hates me and isn't going to play." Weirdly cathartic. Disappointed and disappearing into the night. Yeah dude, sorry, but I told you.

I even managed to convince Nathan to abandon everything and come with me - and I'm really excited to see how that plays out, because it may have been a fulfilling conclusion for me, but since Nathan had ALSO been prepping for "epic battle," and was already conflicted about running, I don't know how he'll respond to "He left? We're really not gonna fight??? Nobody was obliterated?"

Perfect.

Gaius thinks this is a big game. He thinks Blackwell is playing with him. He thinks he's going to get his big, epic war...

...and Blackwell just hates him. Just wants to leave. Just wants to check-the-fuck-out. No fucks given. No games played. No lie.

Perfect way to shatter a bloodthirsty god's self worth.

[suzume2moon]

blue lock random headcanons_1/part2

including: reo, chigiri, isagi, hiori, kunigami, kaiser, zantetsu

Reo is the kind of guy who, when started to train for soccer, didn't know how to do the streching. It would have affected his pride to just ask a random soccer club member to teach him, so he hired a professional masseur instead. He learnt not just the streching, but the massaging so well, that in the Blue Lock, the players usually decide by rock-scissors-paper, who will he massage at first - although Nagi always comes in priority. What did you think.

Chigiri is the kind of guy who mastered the perfectly fixed hair braiding techniques already before coming to Blue Lock. He got so much comment on BLTV, like "how are you doing it" and "teach me plsssss" so after a while he got enough of it and recorded a tutorial video. It was the most popular content of the week.

Isagi is the kind of guy who could never properly learn a European language. He has tried English in school, French when he got to know Noel Noa is from France, and German because of his fav team, Bastard München. None of them turned out well. He's just cursed with the grammar and thinks it's even worse than the Japanese law system. Those micro-interpreters are a blessing to him.

Hiori is the kind of guy who plays the most bloody FPS games, and curses in his microphone with a deadpan face and monotone voice. When Karasu once saw/heard him like this, he just thought his teammate is a psychopath and didn't dare to sleep without a lamp for three days.

Kunigami is the kind of guy who can cook curry and only curry amazing. When he was younger, he should often take care of his younger sister, and curry is the ultimate favourite food for both of them, so he relatively early learned it from his older sister. Even Wild Card couldn't erase his cooking skills but he would now rather die than admitting it to anyone.

Kaiser is the kind of guy who, when he heard that they have to go to Japan, started to watch Attack on Titan, because Google said this is the most popular anime. He couldn't get over how seiyuus pronounce German names and places. Now he thinks all Japanese are insane. (He secretly LOVES the ost called Vogel im Kafig bc it's epic).

Zantetsu is the kind of guy who listens podcasts in his free time in order to get smarter. It's rare when he understands a thing, but he is willing to learn and always asks his brother, what do the difficult words mean. He even writes them in a notebook and since his brother has gone abroad to university, the notebook reminds Zantetsu of him.

first part here

©suzume2moon 2024.10.14.

[theology101]

Fallout 4 Enhanced, part 2 - minor factions

People seemed to like part 1 so I'm going in for round two! Last time, we discussed the main endings for the Commonwealth with the primary factions but we all know that there is more to the Commonwealth than that. We're talking small fry this time. Let's go with the new kids on the block

Gunners

In the base game, Gunners are just higher-level, better-armed Raiders. They're a well organized 'Mercanary' group with multiple outposts connected via Radio at Gunner's Plaza. They seem to be either new immigrants to the Commonwealth or (if the Vault 75 theory is true) have only just emerged. Personally, I think they're moving in from the South - most of their territory is located in the south of the Commonwealth, baring a few outposts further north that are well fortified.

They're plot irrelevant save for one thing: they're responsible for the Quincy Massacre, polishing off the Minutemen, and sending Preston Garvey running North. That is it. There is no major quests for them, no one comments if you wipe them out - you don't even know who their clients are. Okay, that's not true - the Diamond City robot chef hired them to steal a Deathclaw egg and Old Man Stockton (and thus the Railroad by consequence) protects his caravans. Every other client is a mystery. A common theory is the Institute but they would have to recognize that Stockton's activities, especially because his use to the Railroad is through his trade network.

So we have a group of highly militant if disorganized gang of private soldiers who have beef with the Minutemen and aren't scared of the Commonwealth's boogieman.

I think they should've been joinable or at the very least interactable. If I approach one of their bases, they should tell me to back off and leave, threaten me, etc. Just opening fire on every random person is what makes them just raiders. Should they suddenly be friendly? Absolutely not, despite their relationship with Stockton (and how I want the Railroad to be more focussed on slavery in general) the Gunners are canonically slavers so if a Gunner patrol comes across you in a random encounter, have them open dialogue to try and kidnap Sole, or have Minutemen quests to rescue kidnapped settlers

I also don't think they should have a single "Boss". Maybe a client who is specifically targeting the Minutemen for some fucking reason (Maybe it's a Drug Kingpin out of Goodneighbor, or some rich raider boss - or maybe they did it on their own volition because the Minutemen made it harder to do their job) but I think for every single operation they have in the game (Which is when they're specifically doing something, like being in Mass Fusion, Hallucigen or Greentech, and not holding territory) there should be a client that we can find in the game, and they should have a reason to do it.

The Gunners can also fulfill something that Fallout 4 desperately needed: an act 4. Now that X has claimed the Commonwealth, the Gunners being dealt with are probably high up on their list of actually establishing control. In part 1, I talked about how the Battle of Quincy should be this big epic battle involving multiple major factions as Quincy is taken back once and for all, freeing the captured townspeople and taking back the commonwealth - the Gunners are kinda just Bad Guys to Kill. But you know what? Great. Give them more men, more machine guns, etc. After that, taking Gunner Plaza should have had a major impact on the Commonwealth - the Gunners could no longer communicate between groups, the Minutemen Radio had further range than ever before, and their leadership was decapitated. This should send them scrambling - maybe even warranting a force from outside the commonwealth coming in to relieve their comrades. I think the Gunner-Minuteman war would've been dope

Children of Atom

The Children of Atom are Great. I love them. They're silly, cool, and low-key, right? Like, Eldritch Entitities exist in Fallout and they are typically related to radiation. This is just canon, there are beings beyond our comprehension who exist outside of our Reality.

But that's not important - why are they all so angry?

When I rock up to Kingsport Lighthouse, I want to talk to them and say "Hey, I support your religion, but can I make a settlement here?" and then BOOM! Unlocked Children Of Atom Settlement Items. Simple as, they're just a religion, I can allow them in my settlements - just stay away from the water, okay? Some of the radiant quests should just be going to your settlements and figuring out a solution between the Children of Atom and your settlers / Brotherhood / Institute. This goes double if you are a full member up in Far Harbor (which, legit I will not touch it cause it's great) as you spread your religion across the Commonwealth. Or at the very least, you tolerate them and control them

It's wild to me that they're hostile on-site. If I rock up to the Crater House to get baptized, they should let me be baptized! It's weird that they're just on-site for NO REASON! I want to see Children of Atom in every major city (they know the most about energy so they run the power grid, we just have to put up with the preaching) and follow every major caravan (they can help with a lot of radiation diseases on the road) to make the Church of Atom something that you might actually look at and go "Oh hey yeah that seems like a good idea."

Interestingly, I think they could be an ally for the Railroad of all people. If they give a Synth the identity of a Children of Atom Follower, they can live fine (some are immune to radiation, some aren't, it depends) in the Glowing Sea.

I could also see the Children of Atom and the Brotherhood of Steel having an Adeptus Mechanicus-Adeptus Astartes kind of relationship. Like, they view the Brotherhood as Atom's Fury taking and holding Atom's holy relics from Abominations. Oh, and by the way - the Children of Atom Cult almost took over the Commonwealth the winter before we woke up. Maybe some people should bring that up, especially because a peaceful variant of the faith won out in the end.

Raider Gangs

This pisses me off so much, cause Bethesda did the work to give each of the raider bosses personal beef and relationships with each other and have fairly consistent borders/areas of control that they work with - and then didn't do anything with them. There are six major factions of Raiders. I'm just going to briefly describe them, their attitudes and what I would change

Tourette Gang - They occupy the Federal Ration Reserve, so they should be incredibly well-armed, well-armored, and well-fed. The group is kept small and they focus on longe range weapons to make sure no one they dislike can get too close. Hate Tower Tom's gang, should wear surplus military or police gear. Near no major trade lines, but also don't need to be.

Beantown Boys - Tower Tom's group, they are sitting near no major trade or supply lines, and the only reason they're alive is that they can sell bear to Triggermen, other Raiders and also hold Red Tourette's Sister hostage (actually dead) so Red keeps sending them food. Sent people all the way out to BADFTL and they can see the writing on the walls and that a gang led by drunks is not going to thrive. Because they're so drunk, they focus more on melee weapons or things where they don't need to aim all too much like shotguns or machine guns

Boston Bandits - Led by Bosco, these Raiders should be the most 'classic' raiders. Controlling the majority of Boston and a chunk of Cambridge, his gang shouldn't have a particular focus, just to sell home that they're generic. Wide range of loot from the better equiped and skilled to the randos who just joined up. They should also have a BUNCH of traps to defend themselves from the ‘Beast’

Libertalia - this gang is different, led by a former Minuteman and his company, these guys should still have their laser muskets, Minuteman outfits, etc. For a group in the 'slow decline from guardians into raiders' they seem to have adopted the tattoos and grisly displays pretty damn fast. These Raiders should seem a lot more well maintained, more hygienic - probably a lot less chems too.

The Forged - The Forged are actually great, wish I could've seen em more though.

Judge Zeller - He tortures people into working for him until they're insane and fanatics. That to me sounds like either they sprint in with knives like crazy people or just insane spray-and-pray types. Lets give them automatic weapons and grenades to see what happens

I doubt the Engine could've handled it, but it would've been cool seeing these factions fighting over Raider camps and stuff after we clear it out, see how the territory changes through our actions and the various gangs. Giving them a unique feel on top of gang war violence is just fun.

Special mention to the Triggermen who really seemed like they would be important, but just weren't. I want them to act as the unofficial middleman between Raiders and Goodneighbor - Goodnighbor as a respectable trading town would never sell to violent evil raiders.... but they sell to the Triggermen and they don't have such compunctions. I'd also like to see a few of them lurking around Diamond City, giving the city a bit of crime or occasionally showing up in your settlements as black market salesmen

Caravan Collective

This is a new faction, but I could also call it Bunker Hill Plus. There are several traders and they’re all based out of Bunker Hill but in spite of that, there is no organization. No collective trade power. Nothing like Crimson Caravan or the Mojave Express. I think that the Caravan Collective should be a sorta rump state to the Commonwealth Provisional Government - while the actual government collapsed, the organized trade network and regulations that they made has survived the massacre

They shouldn’t have the big of an effect on the story - maybe a quest were you help Old Man Stockton root out Institute Spies - but negotiating them to go to your settlements instead of them just appearing one day. Similarly, the traders should pop up in Goodneighbor or Diamond City instead of just settlements and Bunker Hill. With the deal Bunker Hill has with the Raiders, they can travel pretty much unimpeded. This faction won’t be claiming the commonwealth, but they should have a presence and a decent size of Caravan security - if you don’t mess with them, they won’t mess with you

Super Mutants

These guys are unique amongst Super Mutants as they have no methods to reproduce themselves. Out west, there are a number of FEV vaults out there making more, though it’s rare - and in DC they have a whole Vault to make more, while the Appalachian guys have a few sources.

All Super Mutants in the Commonwealth come from the Institute’s experiments. And by “Experiments” i mean Shaun intentionally destabilizing the region, Virgil himself says they aren’t accomplishing anything. Super Mutants are just made from random kidnapped people, a Synth replaces them and the mutant is set to rampage. And I think that these mutants should be aware of that fact.

All Super Mutants are communalist and love each other as ‘Brothers’ - basically Warhammer Orks - but these brothers no that they are a limitted supply. I don’t think these super mutants should be any smarter then their cousins, but perhaps more cautious? They can’t just make more, every Super Mutant is a rare resource. Suicide Super Mutants; while cool, don’t fit this model but every society needs its Lunatics

I even think you should be able to make a deal with them if you’re the Institute - promise them to keep filling up their numbers, and in exchange get an army of green shocktroops. The Institute doesnt care if the Greenskins rampage about - if anything, the Institute is already the Super Mutant’s greatest ally

Up Next - Companions and/or Settlements

[smokescreenimusprime]

On the trend of using EPIC The Musical for the ask game (thanks anon), here's a good one:

Choose. You, or your crew. (Song source: Thunder Bringer)

"Choose. You, or your crew." the stranger growled, shoving the muzzle of his blaster into the side of Smokescreen's helm.

Smokescreen bit back a sigh, knowing full well that it would not help the situation.

The situation was fairly unusual. Most days were pretty quiet in the Archives with the most exciting thing being a new datapad being added to their stores, or on rarer occasions a bot starting drama over some novel or other they didn't have and needing to be escorted out.

An armed robbery was definitely a new occurrence. Usually when bots wanted to steal the relics, they opted for more covert methods.

But not these ones apparently. They showed up, quite literally guns blazing, and held the staff and visitors who hadn't managed to flee in the initial chaos hostage. The enforcers had of course been called, but they couldn't get in yet without risking the attackers doing something dangerous.

That led to right now, him, his employees, and a couple others all gathered in the back of one of the bigger rooms as one of the attackers tried to threaten Smokescreen into telling them the vault passcodes by dragging him forward and pressing a gun to his helm.

Primus he was going to have to fill out so much paperwork after this. Maybe he could convince Ultra Magnus to pull some strings so he wouldn't have to.

"I said choose," the mech growled again, jabbing Smokescreen's helm with the blaster again, this time hard enough to scratch the paint which made Smokescreen tense.

Not in fear like the mech seemed to think, no, but growing frustration. He just got buffed the other day! Knockout was going to peel his paint when he found out he ruined his work so soon.

Yeah, okay, waiting for the enforcers to do something clearly wasn't working out.

Guess he had to handle this himself.

This time he actually let himself sigh, not caring about keeping his attacker docile.

"Yeaaaaaah, gonna have to say no to that one, chief."

And then he grabbed the gun's barrel.

His attacker's optics went wide but he didn't even have time before he was swiftly disarmed (he wasn't even using servo modifications! talk about amateur hour, as Miko would say). It only took a second to pistol whip him across the temple, then whip around and shoot the three other bots in the room just as they began to realize things were not going to plan.

Nonlethally of course. Sure it would count as self defense and he'd be let off without much trouble, but that would just make even MORE paperwork.

Once he was confident the other three were down for the count and that his employees and even a few of the other hostages were able to disarm and take care of them, he turned back to the first mech.

"First mistake," Smokescreen began, flipping him onto his front and forcing his servos behind his back in a submission hold. "Getting within grabbing distance."

"Second mistake," he patted down his frame to grab the key for the handcuffs. "Cuffing me too loose and then not being able to see what I was doing with my servos."

"Third and most damning of all," he threw the key over to a very shell shocked looking Coil, who fumbled the catch with his cuffed servos but managed to not drop it.

He liked Coil. He was a new hire, but Smokescreen could already tell he'd be sticking around. He was a hard worker, a bit sarcastic at times, and cared a lot about keeping things organized.

His now ex-attacker looked up at him with wide optics, confused and afraid, and Smokescreen just met his gaze with a bored expression.

"Not doing your fragging research."

-------

OR, a lot of bots aren't aware of the fact their local librarian is ex-military, and every once in a while there arises circumstances for him to show them :D

[jiggowatts]

sorry for the inactivity y’all, I got sick LOL but I’m BACK with a new fixation (yay)!!!!!

Drew Buzzy from Cranium Command in the style of Epic Mickey! Missed opportunity from Disney to include Wonders of Life / Cranium Command in the games (Disney hire me please I have a great idea for the 3rd game)

[ndostairlyrium]

Blabbering ahead about the game in my usual broken English lol

Warning: General, mildly spoiler-y stuff. But still spoilery. Dead dove, yada yada

I tried to avoid reading opinions as much as possible, so I could share my own without filters <<

...this will be a looooong post so I'm putting everything under the cut :'

I've enjoyed this game greatly.

I loved Rook, each companion, the more synthesized visual style, and the majority of the changes they did to make this game stand out among the others. In some parts, it really reminded me of Mass Effect, and those parts I truly adored in a visceral way.

I get the criticism about Rook's tone, but I didn't mind that they had a specific personality and you could work around it. They're a mess of a person, showing a great deal of immaturity in some parts, forced to call the shots, and to be a compass for others while trying to keep everything from falling from their hands. They're just not as player-nuanced (like, it's not on us?) personality-wise as Hawke, I think? Which is a bummer for some, and I get it, but I didn't mind :'D I'm one that deflects a lot with humor, that's my jam

I think I did good approaching this game blindly, and to keep going despite encountering some major disappointments along the way (y'all saw me complaining, I'm a "yes, but" hoe). In the end, I was enthusiast about playing it, I've been enthusiast while playing it, and I'm enthusiast now that it's over (in a very positive way).

Also, to me the combat system was super fun (I had a blast playing orb+dagger mage with the necromancer spec). I liked that it was more dynamic, that you were in control of your character only, and I adored the cheerleading going on within the team during the fights, also the action scenes were SO EPIC. There are a couple of cutscenes in particular that I watch on a daily and feel the tension on my shoulders as if I didn't know the results already :'D

Hate to bring out Mass Effect again, but... I felt that same kind of powerless urgency throughout Veilguard. Except that you're not Shepard, already a hero, you're a nobody in disgrace, somebody looking for a purpose, for then being hired by someone who has a history of dooming whoever he works with :'D in my head, my Rook has accepted because he needed something to go right. Very lol. Much lmao.

Again, bringing out Mass Effect. I always adored Mass Effect important NPCs outside the party, like Bakara for example. I experienced the same kind of attachment to those here, and I was truly frightened for some of them throughout the game, especially the ones I've known from Tevinter Nights.

...now, to the "Yes, but" that had me so frustrated to the point of wanting to stop playing:

I just wish a little bit more sensitivity by the team when approaching specific cultural references. These, along with stereotypes, have always been blatant throughout the games, and I was hoping that in this one we would move past them rather than the doubling down I saw. I can't talk on others behalf, but I could elaborate for hours on why the whole deal of Treviso and the romanticising of Crows (to the point of painting them as the good guys) are such a point of offense for me, even if I'm tired to explain that there's nothing romantic when organized crime takes control over an entire country and call it "patriotism". Moral code my ass. Glorification of mafia is never okay.

Don't pillage take stuff from real life if you're gonna turn them like living stereotypes and excuse that behavior by calling it "inspiration". It's cheap and disrespectful. Fandom has been repeating this for more than 10 years and nobody corrected this trajectory. That's sad, to say the least.

[sylvan-librarian]

In response to the (really good!) story for Murders at Karlov Manor, I've been seeing some (thankfully limited) discourse on the same old tired argument that Magic story has no stakes because characters can die and then come back to life as a ghost or get (seemingly permanently) turned into robot monsters and then get better eventually.

People can obviously feel what they feel and believe what they believe about Magic story, but personally, I'm just so tired of this argument. Magic story is largely a marriage of high fantasy and superhero comics. These two types of literature have much in common, but one similarity stands out in my mind: the impermanence of character death. Comic book superheroes famously won't stay dead, and while this fact has been controversial for decades, it is nonetheless a cornerstone of the genre. And hell, even in The Lord of Rings - the god-emperor and founding text of the entire fantasy genre (for better or worse) - Tolkien's wizard OC Gandalf dies and comes back to life STRONGER ... nigh invincibly powerful (if LotR was written today, people would call Gandalf [and probably Aragorn for that matter] a Mary Sue).

This not my attempt to shill for a corporation, mind you. In contrast, I'd rather see MORE people complaining about things worth complaining about:

The increasing price of the game gatekeeping so many from the hobby

Hasbro firing 1,000 employees right before Christmas

WotC sending hired thugs to someone's house over a mistake the company itself made

The focus on the collectability of cards over how they play

And I'm not even saying there aren't aspects of Magic story itself worth critiquing. To note:

The enjoyability of its prose is inconsistent at times (reread the Magic Origins stories, for example)

The messaging is sometimes off (i.e. - the worst bad guys in the entire universe are folks who use science to make their bodies more in line with their view of themselves)

The stories - especially the big epic ones - are rarely given time to breathe, and the authors are clearly asked to do a lot with very little

War of the Spark: Forsaken

Maybe asking people to have a more nuanced take on the storyline of a children's card game is too much, but I think that "story bad" is far too dismissive. I remember reading through the All Will Be One stories thinking: "Well, there is actually NO WAY WotC is going to kill off ALL of these characters that got phyrexianized." Jace and Ajani are literally two of the main characters of Magic; Nissa, Vraska, and Nahiri are maybe less popular and important to the overall setting, but they all nonetheless have their extremely devoted fans (me; I'm one of those fans; bet you can't guess of which 'walker). I find it a bit silly to assume that the mass permadeath of named characters would be how the Phyrexian arc would end. Modern Magic is just not the type of story where the creators will merc half of their cast just to appease certain sentiments about its literary value.

This post has turned into a lot of meandering nonsense, but here's what I'm largely trying to get across: I wish more people would accept Magic story for what it is, not for what they think it should be. I'm NOT saying people shouldn't have standards for their entertainment, but they also shouldn't expect Shakespeare* - or even Tolkien - from a story about wizard superheroes written to provide a backdrop for a children's card game.

*I also want to mention here: characters dying and then coming back is also present in Shakespeare.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/6/2024

people mad at a video game for being woke, i'm mad at it for not being woke enough. so it goes.

also i wrote a yeehawgust fic

listening

another addition to the "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)" playlist, thank u charli xcx and billie eilish

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reading

im still really annoyed with Retraction Watch for platforming a terf last year and then not doing any sort of sockpuppet damage control in the comments. since they got acquired by crossref they've done way less guest editorials. not to be all "stick to sports!" but stick to sports, retraction watch.

they did introduce me to this substack series i will be following with great interest about the rise and fall of hindawi. wiley acquired a paper mill a few years back, bc they seemingly did zero diligence, and then blithely ignored the problem for two years before being forced to do the single largest retraction of papers in scientific publishing history, somewhere above ten thousand articles because it is STILL ONGOING.

i do love following various retractions bc i like seeing what finally made someone go "wait a minute", and, as i have just written in a cover letter, "I studied astronomy and have held several data jobs because I’m fascinated with how and why systems work and fail..."

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watching

my best friend has decided while i'm at her home in the evenings eating her food and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i am fed tiny bits of mushed up banana by hand by her one-year-old), our new project is watching all the xmen movies. i have no particular desire to do this or special affinity for the xmen, and i would like to keep eating very good texmex and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i play hot wheels with the five-year-old). this sounds so super bitchy of me but it's hard to convey that these are essentially on for background noise.

saw the first two. the two things i know about them are that hugh jackman is in them and they're at the statue of liberty in one

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playing

an ideologically baffling little environmental game free in the epic store this week, LumberJack. this is on PC and Switch for $13, which is far more money than the playtime anyone can get out of this game. tiny tiny tiny little Spain-headquartered studio without an active website, it looks like one guy hired out to make this and two more games and then went back to single-dev projects. i can respect that!

steam reviewers are mad at this game for being woke, and i'm mad at it for being woke in a very strange way. your one mechanic, as a bear, is swinging a big axe to remove cars and trailer offices and portapotties and various garbage from the landscape.

i wish the movement and look controls are inverted, and i wish they weren't, or at least had an option to make them normal. i know Why this isn't a mobile game (can't monetize something with twoish hours of gameplay and twenty levels) but it's a very straightforward and simple game that would translate very well to mobile. much like donut county.

now for being picky about the political mindset of the developers: as much fun as it is to be a bear swinging an axe around, lumberjacks are not the people i associate with wild preservation movements.

saving the land and turning it back into pristine and perfect land for wild animals in this game looks like erasing every hint of human activity from a site and turning it into sheer recreational use. many levels are heavily polluted, but some can definitely be read as recycling centers. im confused by the erasing every hint of humans in early levels, and then this level where you break down a radio station, slap the host with your axe, and she turns into a park ranger who starts gardening and taking care of chickens?

i don't think that removing all the traces of people from the landscape will magically fix everything, nor do i think simply being in unspoiled wilderness will magically fix me.

there's a golfing level where you whack bombs into various small buildings. i think golfing to save the environment is a strange choice to make for designing a game.

i also briefly thought this bird in every level was an extinct ivory-billed woodpecker, which was a little alarming bc there are some real nutjobs out there with very strong beliefs about this bird and government overreach and how much the government is lying to you about the extinctness of various animals.

i stopped playing about halfway through bc i was not having fun and found the underlying environmental message a little confused. they've managed to sell at least 10k units which is...not very good. i am not surprised this is free on epic, and i wonder what their payout for that was. would not be surprised if they negotiated a payment to their nonprofit partner ecologi as part of that.

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making

yeehawgust fill! i have another bitchy blond babygirl!

what the fuck is the prisoner? cult 60s british spy tv. with all the surreality and anxieties about the cold war and midcentury psychological horror you could possibly want

He’d been drugged enough times to recognize the splitting migraine rapidly galloping down his neurons. “Where am I?” He fought down the taste of bile (ketamine? xylazine, by the aftertaste) and the rising panic. Oddly enough, the migraine was always worse with veterinary sedatives. One would think a mind would adapt to nearly three hundred years of irregular drugging and constant experiments. One’s body had adapted and ghoulified, but in equally unhelpful ways. The tycoon flickered, approximating an appraising blink. “This meeting has been a long time coming, hasn't it? You've come a long ways, literally and, I suspect, figuratively as well. You’re in the Free Economic Zone of New Vegas.” They’d pretended the prisons were so many different places: across the Continent, in various parts of London, up and down and all around the East Coast of these wretched States. Rarely this far west, aside from the awful escapade in the faux pre-War Western town. “What do you want?” He managed to swing his ankles off the saddle (also pre-War? Heavily used. It certainly wasn’t his, the equestrian event had always been his worst event in the pentathalon) and jolted what felt like every half-dead nerve in his half-dead body.

[what-even-is-thiss]

There’s a new quest in anniversary edition Skyrim that I finally tried out. And it frustrated me. And I loved it. And it frustrated me to no end.

Imagine, if you will, the mythic dawn cult returning and tricking the Dragonborn into helping them reopening a portal to oblivion. Faithful and beautiful recreations of the plains of oblivion and mythic dawn bases and unique dungeon types unseen in the rest of the game. Fighting your way through an oblivion gate to get unique Daedric weapons. Infiltrating your way into a mythic dawn base in disguise. Fighting alongside the vigilants of stendaar, getting attacked by them if you’re in disguise as a mythic dawn cultist in an epic adventure that feels like a faithful callback to Oblivion and fits within Skyrim’s canon.

And there’s no unique voice lines.

I was expecting to get some unique dialogue from literally anyone, but no. Just standard “need something?” and “Skyrim belongs to the nords!”

I’m aware that most of the anniversary stuff is basically Bethesda approved mods but seriously? Bethesda is making a bunch of money off of this. They couldn’t have hired one voice actor to give a monologue? One? Even one? A singular guy from any side of the conflict? The main bad guy and final boss of the mythic dawn base had such a cool backstory and incredibly evil motivation and I had to learn everything about him from a journal entry.

[littleladymab]

What is HOWL? 👀

This one also goes out to @strangeharpy who asked

For the WIP title game, I am curious about HOWL!

So HOWL is a sci-fi project in which I take a cast of characters I made up with no plot and then smush it together with my "space lesbeans" project that had a decent plot but not fully fleshed out cast.

It's also what I'm doing with Kerri as a fully separated from FTL character LOL so when I was writing notes for the gorls, I had to make sure I didn't make it too similar to what I plan on doing for HOWL.

HOWL, largely, is inspired by the fact that there was something in SW that was cool and creepy in concept and I thought it absolutely FAILED on the delivery. You got a cosmic horror beast of a creature that consumes the living force from people and turns them into husks and then DON'T make it scary? Fuck, what are you doing with your life?! Anyway I also like to call it "what if I made star wars gay and scary" project.

So anyway, I do have to better figure out how to merge the two projects together into one coherent project but there's going to be not!jedi and epic betrayal and political intrigue, and yeah some scary cosmic monsters that will eat the essence of you right out of your body.

Kerri (human what can do magic) hires Nelo (cyborg what stole someone's identity) to be a bodyguard and get her home, and somewhere along they way they run into Jack (human what can also do magic) and their crew (Casper, Yasmine, and Ursula, who are all different kinds of aliens) on their ship called HOWL. Jack has a REAL MESSY HISTORY with the antagonist (I've been calling him Daniel for Reasons(TM), and his co-conspirator Mateen), and you know, plot will ensue.

As a fun side note, on the pin board I made for HOWL I saved one (1) picture of Timothee Chalamet in error and my friend never let me live it down and now my WIP channel for this project in our group chat is also the "i'm going to wonkapost here, to torment you".

Here's a passage I had written from years ago, when they were separate projects and I was experimenting with Jack's voice!

"You weren't telling me the whole truth!" "What does it matter?" "It matters because if he asks you to leave with him again, you might say yes!" I open my mouth, but the denial doesn't come, and Casper growls as he draws away. "Were you in love with him?" Caspar asks, and the laugh that is startled out of me is raw and wild. "Jack! Were you?" "I don't know!" I repeat, as if saying it louder makes it any more true. Casper tosses his hands in the air, and there's a glitter of goldenrod petals in their wake. He's stressed, agitated, and it's my fault. "Bullshit you don't know." "I don't. I don't--" I scrub my hands over my face and try again. "Humans are… We are a tangled mess of emotions and feelings and thoughts. What one person thinks isn't the same meaning as what someone else thinks. Emotions and interpretations. It is so impossible to know what I felt with certainty. It was so long ago. I don't know. Maybe? Maybe I did. In my own way, maybe I did." "And now?" I think about it, try to understand how I felt when I saw him standing across the airlock from me. That smile of his that always meant trouble was just around the corner, but wouldn't it be something if we could stay one step ahead the whole time? "He tried to kill you," Casper says into the silence when I take too long to answer. "He almost did. It is a fucking miracle you lived." "I know." The vines twist and grow up his forearms and he doesn't even seem to notice. "And you would still go if he asks you to leave?" I don't answer, but he fills in the blank anyway.

[[Ask me about my WIPS!!]]

[sgiandubh]

Why are some shippers trying to out them? They must have their reasons for not telling the truth ...can't they just be left alone ?

Dear Have Their Reasons Anon,

And a very good morning to you, too. Or, you know, as Truman Burbank would say, 'good afternoon, good evening and good night', heh.

I'll be as brief and (hopefully) clear as I can, as far as my own position is concerned:

I am not very sure anyone is trying to 'out' anyone, here. At any rate, it's this house's policy not to comment on other shippers' beliefs, choices and behavior, unless absolutely necessary to do so. And by 'absolutely necessary', I mean showing solidarity when people get viciously and/or unfairly attacked. This, I will always do, because this is who I am, Anon - and there is no difference between the real life me and the netizen me, unlike perhaps many people in here. However, the least thing I would like to do is to sound self righteous and/or act just like another Fandom Militiawoman. Nope. This is not going to happen here, Anon. Tempted as I might be - and often feeling so, to be honest.

And even if those fans did want to 'out' them, dear Anon, just think about it for one second: how would they do it? Hire a PI? Oh, please, spare me that spurious (but oh, so convenient) thought.

By the way, thanks for confirming there is something to be outed, after all, in the process. 😏

Last, but not least, here is a simple something I can offer: not food for thought, actually, barely a cucumber sandwich, if you will. If they really (really, really) wanted to be left alone, why all the intricate shenanigans and double entendre games, Anon? On and on and on, over and over again, for ten years? Stories, slips, interview blurbs, Twitter bantering, BTS and not BTS at all pics, and blah blah blah, to oblivion?

If I were Them (which I am obviously not), I'd think some publicity is better than no publicity at all. Being left alone is probably the least thing they want, but I think they are still doing an awful job when it comes to finding balance and/or managing that very fickle red boundary line.

Thank you for dropping by: it made for decent brain calisthenics, as I was savoring my morning porridge, Anon. And, fun fact: I love cucumber sandwiches (and so did Wilde, heh). The best I ever had was at The Strand's High Tea, in Rangoon.

That was my room at The Strand, in August 2010. It came with a personal butler (the formidable U Zaza) and you could even direct dial the hotel's own fortune teller (and probably a Bureau of Special Investigations' mole, as well). I never did, but regretted it. It would have been epically funny.

[katerinaaqu]

Even the french wikipedia recognizes that L'Odissea from 1968 is the most faithful representation of the Odyssey 😂😂. By far ! I'm pretty sure Nolan's movie won't be a big opponent on that ground (not in 2 hours anyway).

Also, since it's available on YT, it's very easily accessible, no need for Netflix. It's definitely on my watchlist.

Hahahahaha "EVEN French wikipedia"?! 🤣 what's with French Wikipedia that others do not have?! Hahahahaha

Hahahaha I swear I have nothing to do with it hahaha the entry speaks facts 😂 🤣 but yes that miniseries is a treasure of adaptations! Like I said by far the most faithful adaptation! Is it without its faults? Absolutely not. There are many things I am sorry they didn't include or why they didn't even mention it in the spoken manner such as Charybdis or Skylla even if they didn't show it I felt sad the chose to change or not include them not even as spoken manner. Or how the recognition by Eumeus happened. There are liberties even they take which I do not agree but the liberties did not affect the overall story AND they remained respectful to the material more than 90% of the time.

However it is BY FAR the most faithful adaptation I have ever seen, respectful to the source material AND the area it is featuring thus the cast reflects on that as well with the hiring of actors from the Balkan peninsula AND the effort everyone put in it to make the Epic come to life AND above all they took their time and instead of squeezing everything to one movie they produced a series consisted of 4 parts and all of them were lengthy and explored.

So yes I doubt Nolan no matter how good he is can actually beat that level in a squeezed movie even if he DID have appropriate people for casting (and appearance-wise that is doubtful so far. Not sure ahat he will do with his casting while they prepare and all). Like I said squeezing a homeric Epic in only one movie is never a good idea.

Yes it is easily accessible too and dubbed in 3 primary languages; Italian, French and German (not aware of other dubbings) so yes it is a definite recommendation from me! And it has THE BEST Polyphemus scene! By far! The way they used technology of their time and the game or shadows was a genius!