#@ the government please stop making me work retail

[chicago-geniza]

Ohhh my gd. No sleep. Showered, brushed teeth, put on clean clothes, put dirty clothes in washer, refilled weekly pills, took pills, took vitamins, did morning inhalers, checked bus schedules, checked work schedule, took nausea meds, packed instant soup & baby food for lunch because ulcers + gastroparesis are both acting up, charged headphones, have mask ready, put on neuropathy socks, took stimulants, confirmed Medicaid/SNAP redetermination appointment for next week. Don't want to go to work but at least I'm not closing today and have two days off afterwards. We're activating emergency protocols because I will be fired if I miss another shift so until I have a Red Dinner situation at the register or end up repeating the great grad conference grand mal seizure of 2020, we Do It Sick

[tobiasdrake]

Raincoat: Check. Lotion: Check. Violently assaulted a service industry worker who did nothing wrong: Check check check! What's next on the list?

Is Kurumi leaving? What about her education? She may be a homunculus but she's still a high school girl. Is she planning to study abroad?

If they've solved the feral regeneration problem then she'll have a hell of a party trick.

Kurumi: Hey guys, check this out! *slits her own throat and dies*

The funny thing is it takes 24 hours to regenerate so nobody will get it for a full day. The best kinds of pranks are the ones that traumatize an entire room full of people in ways that they'll be explaining to their therapist for decades to come!

We have fair trade and commerce coming through internationally! ^_^ I'm so happy for Kanai Ward.

Makoto's managing to handle international relations. I wonder if we've told the outside world about the homunculus situation, or if he's still using that to blackmail the Unified Government into staying back?

Makoto wants to be punished so badly but he's valuable.

Makoto: You're going to kill me. It's the right choice. Yuma: NO. STOP THAT. You have valuable skills for leading Kanai Ward. Makoto: I understand. I will turn myself over to UG police immediately. Kanai Ward: NO. STOP THAT.

He genuinely can't get his head around the idea that what he did was bad, but it wasn't so bad. It had extreme circumstances as a mitigating factor.

A heavy responsibility but one he seems qualified for. I'm glad I didn't have to furiously murder him.

She's chasing after Yuma. Got it. She intends to be the Amy Rose to his Sonic the Hedgehog.

THE PRECIOUS

The way she says this definitely makes me think Real Yuma did, indeed, crack the culinary code and find a way to create non-human food suitable for sustaining a homunculus diet.

You did it, man. You fucking did it. You had no idea what you were even doing when you did it but you did it. I hope Makoto gave Real Yuma a medal for this.

Real Yuma's left a greater mark on this city as a chef than he ever could have as a detective. I'm proud of you, man.

I. Uh. I hope Number One let you have your name back. Or you found a new name that you like better.

You were just in the wrong line of work. You've done something that Amaterasu's geneticists couldn't figure out how to do. It's clear that your culinary skills are where your calling lies.

I wonder if homunculi have to travel back here to get their ramen, or if they ship it overseas for retail? KOKORAMEN: All the nutrition a homunculus needs!

Arguments erupting on the internet because trend-following humans keep buying up the Kokoramen.

Stores in xenophobic areas of the world court controversy by stocking Kokoramen next to the pet food aisle. WE ALL SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU ASSHOLES.

...I bet you "red-blooded" becomes an exclusionary dogwhistle. "I'm just like any other red-blooded 'Murican!"

Are we finally taking the sub out of harbor? Please tell me we're finally taking the sub out of harbor.

Will Yakou be there? His presence or absence will answer the question, "Have we solved the feral regeneration problem?"

SQUEE They're all okay! ^_^ I'm so happy right now. Fubuki's safe! And Halara! Vivia's... probably around here somewhere.

You tell 'em, bestie! In fact, as Number One, I want to change the rules so that detectives are allowed to work together and cooperate. That seems like it should be the core takeaway for the WDO from this experience.

So, is Kurumi going with them? Or planning to sneak out after they leave and follow them?

HAHAHAHAHAHA HE'S LUGGAGE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

10/10 Funniest moment in the entire game

That checks out. You heard him, Desuhiko. That's your job.

Sadly, no sign of Yakou so I guess feral regeneration remains an issue.

That's okay. Maybe some of the city's homunculi can study genetics themselves and take on this problem.

Okay but are we taking the sub? Because that is the opposite of flight, Vivia.

...

I wonder.

If.

I can stiff my wealthy homunculus with the bill I've racked up. Y'know, he's basically me so... It's like co-signing on a loan.

The alternative is dipping into WDO funds to pay off Halara but. Then. That. Wouldn't be paying a debt, so much as it would be. Like. A paycheck. From their employer.

I, Halara's employer, owe them financial compensation for work performed under agreement with me. Wow, this recontextualizes our entire dynamic, doesn't it?

You should complain directly to the boss. He'll listen to you.

Oh, Makoto faked the bombing too. I knew he faked the deaths of the Master Detectives, but I didn't realize that part was fake as well.

Fake video footage, fake corpses with pink blood sprayed everywhere, and the letters full of information that nobody here knew but that were written in their handwriting. That last part's a bit hard to justify.

Wow, that's a shrug emoji if I ever saw one. Coalescence doesn't work like that. It a) copies Fortes, b) requires you to hold the hand of the person you're copying, and most importantly, c) requires their cooperation to copy their ability.

We can give the ability credit and assume it can copy more than just a Forte. That's fine. But unless Makoto as gripping everyone's hand and they were consenting to his copy of their handwriting style as he was writing, that makes no sense at all.

"Makoto hired an experienced signature forger." There you go. That's all you had to say.

Hahaha the team was kicking back in the penthouse enjoying wine and biscuits while we were running the trauma gauntlet.

HE DID WHAT

YUMA

YUMA WHAT THE FUCK

I realize you no longer have faith in the WDO's methodology but that's what reforms are for. You were the top dog of the organization. You were in a perfect position to institute necessary changes. Yuma. Yuma, why. T_T

Ohhhh, okay. That makes more sense. Yuma didn't make bad choices. He simply got screwed by Number One continuing to suck.

[doesntseeyourbeauty]

personal post about my ex so if you’re triggered by toxic relationships/emotional abuse/physical abuse/suicide, please don’t feel like you have to read anything below

I’m so just fucking fed up with him and this whole situation. Long story short, we moved in together in 2020 and he was just rude and disrespectful to my family and friends and isolated me from them to control me and keep me from running away (I was heavily abused as a child and tend to stay in bad situations because I’m terrified to leave) along with refusing to work and help me make my bills. I had to work full time in retail while doing my masters to make ends meet on top of relying on government assistance. Last year after my masters graduation, I found out that he had been cheating on me with someone that he met online and I ended our engagement, but allowed him to stay in the apartment because I felt guilty kicking him out and was suicidal at the time so I didn’t trust myself to be alone.

Well in the year that proceeded, he refused to get a job and all of the bills fell into my lap and became my responsibility on top of working full time at a job that refused to provide benefits (including sick time - if I got sick I had to take the day off with no pay) and payed well below the average for those in the field and with my educational background.

we were on the verge of being evicted because I wasn’t able to pay rent, buy groceries, or even feed my pets on top of him “needing” weed and his nicotine to function properly. Without them, he was incredibly abusive and would guilt me into buying them when we had nothing. I took out loans to make ends meet and it still wasn’t enough.

So I moved out of the apartment, payed off the rent I owed, and officially ended everything because I was tired of the abuse and feeling like I was worth nothing (mind you this happened the week of my eras tour show so I was exhausted and drained from that on top of all of that) to move in with my older brother who has let me live with him since so I can get back on my feet.

Thankfully I’ve repayed all of the loans I took out thanks to my new job which pays well and has benefits, and because I don’t have to spend at least $150 a week on his weed and nicotine (it used to be alcohol but I made him stop). It’s been five months since this all happened and he’s still bothering me to this day, to the point I’m debating changing my phone number so he and his family leave me alone.

I went to a few concerts recently and his aunt told him I was “cheating” on him - even though I ended things in July and was under the impression that he was moving on with his life - and he has been non stop messaging me since.

He even messaged me on discord on Christmas threatening to kill himself because I was “toying with him” and “leading him on”. I ignored his texts and went on and didn’t even check discord until today (the conversation was muted) because I flew to DC yesterday to visit my best friend for the first time in a year. I woke up to text coco and he had sent me over 100 messages calling me a whore, a liar, and then was telling me how much he loves me, how I’m “his ideal girl”, and that he wasn’t useless, amongst other things.

I know I can just block him, but it’s always been difficult for me to do something like that as I was taught by my grandmother and mom to love my abusers and to forgive them for what they’ve done - but my mom was also heavily abused by my dad and her family so it’s unintentional. I’m just so frustrated about the whole situation and I just want him to leave me alone but he just won’t.

My family and friends have been so incredibly supportive of me and doing everything in their power to keep me safe from him and I’m so grateful. I’m also so glad I’m in DC with my best friend because I feel safer than I have in quite a while (he knows where my family lives but doesn’t know where I live exactly). I haven’t felt this scared since I was stalked in college by someone who refused to take no as an answer and I got a restraining order and still felt unsafe.

I’m just lost and feeling like I can’t escape the guilt that I’m feeling, because I know that if he does commit suicide, his family will blame me for it. He’s always been this way and I just can’t do it anymore. I just want him to leave me alone.

I’m really sorry for the long rant and for talking about such sensitive topics, but I really needed to get it off my chest. It’s been lingering in my mind for so long and has been weighing heavily on me. He made me cry on Christmas and has made me feel like this is all my fault even though he put us both in the situation we were in.

If you read this, I’m doing okay physically and mentally and I’m in a safe place. I just needed to vent and get this off my chest, it’s been so hard for me to try and move past it….

[a-dragyns-reflections]

A Year in Review - 2022

This past year has been such a wild combination of opportunities, personal development, and professional development, as well as finding out more about myself and who I am. Let's begin shall we?

My year started off with me continuing to work overnights in retail. I had taken an online grocery picker job back in mid-2020 to just start earning some sort of income and opportunities in teaching were surprisingly few and far in between for that solid 2 years I worked there doing this kind of work. It was an okay job, but I missed out on so much working overnights- I was not able to keep up with current events, could not make plans with people, and just had to basically survive in that role instead of enjoying it. Fortunately, I would leave this role this year- thank goodness for that too because I was not sure how much longer I could handle such a job any longer than I did.

It's funny because I knew I would be leaving this role or doing this role in a smaller capacity as early as November of 2021 because I had been accepted into my school board- it was just a delayed start date by months due to constant chasing of paperwork from previous teaching opportunities both in my current city and in the UK. I finally got word in March of this year that I can start to substitute teach in April. That word and news finally was what I needed to change my overnight availability to just weekends, then spend the rest of my week doing my best to accept whatever substitute role and job was available on their platform. It was a welcomed change, but definitely an exhausting adjustment when I started the 2nd/3rd week of April- why did I start so late one might ask? Well, I had a vacation planned that was another amazing highlight to my year.

In early April-ish, my dear friend Darryl, after a long 7.5 year friendship, finally was able to safely travel up to my part of Canada from California. It was so so so fucking amazing to see him again as it had been a long time since I went to California for a long 2 week adventure back in 2015- long overdue to finally see the bestie again. We went all over my city in the 3-4 days he was here for- from seeing his reactions to poutines, Tim Hortons, and how my city had some surprising unique buildings, structures, and even venues to go visit. He had heard about these places all the time from me over the years, but to see him take it all in, in person, with him beside me? So incredibly special. I was an emotional mess for a week after he left; but I know he is going to be coming back to my city this year most likely for a convention I will be talking about later on in my year: Animethon.

Substituting then started shortly after he had to leave and it was wild jumping back into the classroom again, in person, not online. At this point, most people had stopped wearing masks as the government dropped the mandate due to insane protests for months on end. It was terrifying being there and still to this day, I am constantly aware of students and staff in schools I go too working while sick and have to be diligent and safe myself while others have stopped caring or cannot be safe any more...it is a heavy feeling, but nonetheless I made many connections immediately upon substituting, especially at my old high school oddly enough. I had been to a few schools downtown in my city, but it was near the end of April I went back to my old high school twice for social studies cover, and then near the beginning of May, I went back a third time to cover Spanish- an whole long story in itself as another opportunity came my way from accepting that first, one day job.

Taking that Spanish cover job would lead to a long series of insanely amazing, yet stressful events. During my first day covering for the teacher, she reached out to me to ask if I could come back the following day, potentially two days. I said yes because the more you cover for a teacher, the more pay you get in my school board so I was like, sweet- yes please! Cue the next day and again, the teacher asked if I could stay the rest of the week and potentially Monday as well- shortly after that, the department head came and spoke to me seeing if I would be interested in remaining covering for this teacher for two weeks as the teacher needed more time away. I said yes, I would need resources and some help adjusting, but sure. It's an amazing opportunity, why would I turn this down? On the third day of covering for this teacher, after some observations from the department head, I was asked to come see her after the work day was done. it was that meeting that she offered me my temporary contract to remain teaching Spanish full time until the end of the school year- a 7 week temp contract that would change my life so much. It led for me to quit my overnight job on the spot that Friday night, left me scrambling to lesson plan, get resources and guidance from all kinds of people like my department head, the teacher I took over for a bit, and even my old Spanish teacher that taught me at that very high school I was now teaching at. I worked 7:30am - 5pm most week days, and worked those similar hours on the weekends at times as well as I took over everything; lesson planning, teaching, marking, assessing, etc. It was a lot and most days I felt the weight of it all, never took lunch breaks, and just kept going and going and going until the exam break hit and I could breathe a bit. My biggest win from that experience was connecting with the students to receive the kindest of emails and cards at the end of the period, and even one student thanked me so profusely for working with her to bring her mark up 30% to pass the class and move on to grade 12 this year. It was a whirlwind of stress and fear that I was failing these kids by jumping in so late and not sorting myself out right away, but in the end I did not fail them, they got to know me and i got to know them, and I gave these students opportunities to improve their marks after an awful first 2/3 of a semester with constant substitute teachers who did not know the language. We managed and got through it together; to everyone's relief. Whenever I do go back to my old high school as a substitute again, I still have some of those previous students stop by if they see me in a classroom or even ask how I am doing if I am teaching them that day. I would call that a successful experience with that reception I get going back there to this day.

Another highlight to this year was actually coming out as demisexual and pansexual. I was questioning my identity a lot during the pandemic as many failed dates and people pushing physical acts on me left me so uncomfortable I felt broken and wrong. Why wasn't this working? Why was I failing at dating and finding the wrong people? Was it because I refused to put labels on myself as a stubborn person who originally thought labels would limit myself and my experiences to what those labels were only? It was a lot of those thoughts that led me to talk to new friends and explore so many websites that shared so many positive ace experiences with great break downs of everything under that identity. In May, everything I read and experienced and talked to people about just clicked and ta-da! I am demi, I am pan, and I am so happy to be both. My first Pride ever was my first out Pride and despite knowing the stereotypes people had about ace people in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, I felt so incredibly accepted, welcomed, and celebrated in June I still get a little emotional about this to this day. Now my family do not understand or even want to know more about this part of me, so that was a bit weird to like be out, be proud, but had people ignore me that were supposed to be my loved ones and such, but honestly? Fuck them. I know who I am and do not need approval from people who are not invested in my life any more.

It was also around this May/June period I entered a mentorship program that featured all mentors from the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. I was amazed at all I had done leading up to June, but I as confused about what I should do next; do I continue to try to grow my community on Outschool and be an online teacher? Do I look for more permanent, stable work? What about the queer community and where do I or could I fit in? I met so many amazing potential mentors, but Josh was phenomenal. He had me share about my passions in that first meeting and found things for me to do to work on immediately; create business cards for substituting and my queer D&D classes on Outschool, join local queer FB groups and events, and make some new connections in my community. I worked so hard on all of these things and my August was so successful with gaining more students, going to variety of events, and planting some seeds for connections to continue to grow what I was doing- showing how inclusivity can be accessed in such fun, creative, and personal development ways. It was working, but now what? September started and things slowed down immensely Outschool wise. The second meeting led for us to discuss making a business profile of all the classes I offered as well as workshops I could offer using this inclusive lens in gaming, as well as reaching out directly to local organizations such as the Pride Centre here in my city. Receiving the next steps and reflecting on how much my work meant to me, I had the confidence to start doing these bigger things that led for me to receive paid opportunities to teach Queer D&D sessions at the Pride Centre! Those went so well and bringing in the fun, quirky, and respected queer NPCs I had developed for my students led to amazing success. 2023 they want me back fairly regularly and we will be sorting out a contract on that in the New Year! I have also been asked to work on ensuring curriculum is inclusive in both Toastmasters and in another opportunity I will be talking about a bit further down. Not only did I find myself as a queer person, I found my community, and I am helping to ensure these communities are well respected and represented in every aspect of gaming and education. What a year! Thank you Josh, you were the greatest mentor I could have ever had this year.

Now back to the summer a bit- not only did I attend Pride, but I volunteered and attended so many other events. I volunteered at Pride where those connections first began and started. Also, I volunteered at the Heritage Festival in my city that brings so many people and cultures together in a large park outdoors where over a 130 countries had pavilions/tents selling food and so many amazing other things they could share about their culture. It was hot, it stormed, but I enjoyed helping people find the tents they wanted to go too and learning so much about different cultures there as a volunteer- the best way to travel to a country without actually going there. Worth the sunburns and rain soaked clothes that weekend. I also attended a TikTok Marketing Conference that summer as well- which was valuable and insightful as taking on a new Public Relations role in Toastmasters for my one club. Learning the peak times to post clips, what tags to include, how many times to post any content in a week would lead to the amazing success of ExtraLife this year (see my last post for more details). While I may not use TikTok that often any more- I can see the value of it and hope to explore more in the New Year after that event. I then attended Animethon and it was amazing- the cosplays I saw and took photos of, the people I met, the artists I adored and their work, plus discovering new shows and characters made that event amazing for me. I also recognized that going to an event like that by yourself is very difficult- surrounded by people, being pushed around, feeling lost, and the anxiety of, again, many people unmasked, left me having a few anxiety attacks that con, but at least there were quiet anime viewing rooms where I discovered SpyxFamily and Scarlet Nexus- my two favourites of the year. Hence why, hopefully, Darryl can come to Animethon 2023 with me so that won't happen again. Last but not least, I then attended and volunteered at my city's Fringe Festival. It was an 11 day festival with so many different plays, shows, acts, and more. I volunteered for 4 days, but also went for an additional 4 days to support so amazing acts such as yegDND, Iago vs. Hamlet, Mark of the Minotaur, Queer History: A Queer Musical, Undead Newlyweds, Mi Habana Querida, and many many more shows. Being an Ambassador, it was almost expected for us to go to as many shows as possible so we could hype up local and international acts, help people find venues, and hand out little stickers that made both kids and adults so excited- a beautifully busy event but I so so so enjoyed it, every moment and every show.

The next big opportunity that came my way in 2022 was becoming a Public Speaking Coach for a start up company called TalkMaze! It started out as teaching only one group class every Monday evening, to then teaching two students 1-1, and as of this past month, being promoted to being a Coach Coordinator for the company that has so many aspects to the role on top of continuing to teach public speaking and confidence as well. The goal of this company is to help youth develop a sense of self-confidence through public speaking, debate, and eventually through model UN as well. I currently am working on the public speaking and speech classes to help these students achieve this goal, but my more recent role is also becoming very valuable as well. As the Coaching Coordinator, I am currently developing and revamping the 1-1 Program curriculum to ensure that every lesson does add value to the student in regards to building communication and public speaking skills, as well as developing their sense of self-confidence. When this development and revamping is finished in a few months from now, I will also be helping to hire new coaches, train them, develop SOPs for their various roles, and even provide feedback to the coaches on how well their lessons are going as I get to observe them as well. Such a valuable role and if I continue to do well, there is a chance to jump to full time and lead the entire Education side to the company- a goal to achieve in 2023!

2022 has given me so much in so many unexpected ways; from finding my confidence in teaching again and leaving a toxic overnight work environment, to even finding myself and creating a safe community for myself as demisexual and pansexual, to so many opportunities in teaching D&D, teaching public speaking, and now developing curriculum that gives me so much meaning and purpose in my life, to also hitting an amazing fundraising goal for ExtraLife 2022.

What does 2023 look like for me?

Hopefully working hard and becoming that Education lead for TalkMaze, travel at least once this year somewhere again as I miss traveling a LOT, have Darryl come visit me for Animethon, continue to offer inclusive gaming and education workshops in various capacities, fundraise $1250 USD for ExtraLife, and make so many new friends. I want to do so much with my life, and if I do not aim high? I will get stuck, and what fun is getting stuck when I now know how much I can offer to the world, and how genuinely proud of myself I am. Hopefully you all will be here with me during this journey and I cannot wait to see where 2023 will take all of us.

Happy New Year everyone and stay golden~

PS. Toastmasters reflection will come in June of 2023 as Toastmasters goes from July-June year wise! Stay tuned~

[willinglyghoulified]

Art Commissions and Why I'll Be Doing them

Starting on the 5th of April (2023), I'll be taking commissions. I've gotten roughly 12 requests within the span of a 2-day-period, and I agreed to do all of them for free because practice makes my artwork better. But, with the commissions, I'll be getting paid for the requests, and the requests should also slow down because as soon as people realize I am not doing this for free, they tend to shy away from having to pay.

Don't worry, if you've already got a request from me, I'm still doing it free of charge, and will continue to take free requests until April 5th as long as I get caught up on all of them.

It's no secret that I'm unemployed at the moment and my husband is graciously allowing me to work on my artwork and writing while he works a $20-an-hour job (huge thanks to the hubbs ♥). So this will be my main source of income, most of which will be saved so that we can move to a new home within 5 years and also pay for healthcare (because we have NO health insurance).

Not to mention that my husband and I owe $270 on our taxes this year instead of getting anything back (god forbid you make a certain amount of money with NO CHILDREN, because the US government will BLEED YOU DRY because of it -- I'm just happy they stopped penalizing people that don't have health insurance).

I suffer from generalized anxiety, social anxiety, ADHD, and I can't drive because of all of those things. I am not taking medication or receiving therapy like I should because, again, I have no insurance and it's not within budget. So getting a job is somewhat of a challenge. I worked at Walmart for all of 4 years, which gave me a few health problems -- such as cysts on my siatic nerves and an ulcer from stress -- so my husband and I quit working there as soon as we were able. Fuck retail, and I feel so bad for those that still have to put up with shit customers and even shittier managers.

Thanks in advance to anyone that requests from me after I start taking commissions, it means the absolute world to me. Please continue to support me in other ways as well, including sharing or favoriting my art on DeviantArt and Tumblr, or tipping me on Tumblr and Ko-Fi. ♥ And as thanks, I'll continue to work hard on improving my art to make it more and more professional and worthy of more pay in the future.

[greythonconstruction]

Greython Construction

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[nickersonagency2q]

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[jiminrings]

umm maybe this is me projecting bc i am messaging you during my break but for a drabble request, yoongi in a retail setting???? 😐😐😐😐 oc could either be a co-worker or a regular customer who asks too many questions 😔😌

retail-type beat

drabble week: day three

drabble week masterlist

pairing: customer!yoongi x retail worker!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "hi! almost thought you were hiding from me for a second. anyways, is this sweater wool or cotton?"

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

the last time you checked, work doesn’t start until nine

you kNEW it doesn’t start until 9 in the morning, so clearly that’s why you’re just wearing slides instead of your sneakers

the company uniform is either black or purple (it has to be from what the store is selling though so you can get to choose) with of course!!!! a lanyard!!!!

and you know this, because you’re still wearing your slides from home because it isn’t opening time yet

“goddamn it, i forgot to bring my slippers,” jin moans the moment he walks to see you, looking down on your feet that only reminds him he’d be stuck in his cool yet painfully uncomfy sneakers

he’s probably the only co-worker that you’re truly close with, not feeling the urge to sell him just to get a free day

“i told you to get the sneakers that nurses use!!”

hands-down one of the best purchases you’ve ever made

retail’s hard and it’s not exactly the best-paying job!!! thankfully the franchise owner is a bit more generous so that’s why you get slightly-higher hourly pay

“i would if they looked a little more seasoned,” jin snorts and stubbornly crosses his arms, “i might sacrifice my pride and buy some compression socks.”

OOOOOH THOSE ARE GOOD TOO

makes you feel like ur walking on air

but lol no seokjin isn’t ready to buy those just yet

he’ll settle on some blisters and putting salonpas patches because they look cooler that way, thank u very much <3

jin yawns, talking about finding a steam iron somewhere to replace a blowdryer so he could break in his shoes

“you wipe the glass this time.”

oh right he absolutely hates wiping down the glass — even before opening!!! even when there aren’t any grubby kids that would soil it instantly with their equally as grubby hands

you don’t mind it honestly

you might honestly like it

you prefer wiping the glass a hundred times over than steaming clothes

there is nOT a single thought in your head when you spray on the solution to the glass, rag and squeegee tucked between your fingers when-

maybe you should’ve hOLY FUCKING SHIT

it’s not opening!!!! it is nOT nine o’clock in the morning!!!!

you know that the shop you’re working in is pretty fucking famous and it’s located on one of the most populated streets ever BUT THERE’S ALREADY SOMEONE

although the bucket hat seems familiar from a distance and-

oh it’s just yoongi

yoongi?

yoongi’s already here????

:O

yoongi, the guy in question, is an always customer!!

no, not a regular customer — an always customer

he comes every week and maybe even twice within that period

he’s a nice talkative customer who likes asking questions and even occasionally guides the other customers on what to buy and where to find it

he’s yoongi!!! of course that’s expected of him

he’s been going here long since you ever started working here, and jin keeps iNSISTING that he’s been here more frequently since you started like a year ago

but doesn’t he come at eleven in the morning?

“woah, yoongi’s already here? — doesn’t he come at eleven in the morning?”

?!!?!!

“i was just thinking the exact same thing.”

jin bangs the glass with his fist and you automatically wince and frown

you dO like cleaning the glass panes!! you didn’t say you liked cleaning them a second time :(

“YOONGI!”

“YES??”

you push jin’s fist away to wipe at the smudge his hand left

“IT’S NOT OPENING YET!”

“I KNOW!!”

wow they’re uh

they’re really loud

sometimes you forget how seokjin could be since it’s been awhile since you heard him yell

lol no one’s been shoplifting recently so you haven’t been hearing him

a mind-blowing idea is for jin to come outside and talk to him in a normal talking voice, so your ears would stop ringing

“HEY! WHAT IF YOU JUST ENTER EARLY IN?”

“REALLY? IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED??”

"YOONGI, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR KNOWS YOUR NAME. NAMJOON EVEN GAVE YOU A CUSTOMARY BIRTHDAY GIFT, AND WE DON'T GIVE CUSTOMARY BIRTHDAY GIFTS TO ANY OTHER CUSTOMER!!"

namjoon, who technically should be called mr. kim because no one really thinks to call the franchise owner with their government first name, is actually pretty cool

but he's too busy these days and haven't been visiting because he's too busy tending to his newly-opened coffee shop

as if the money he earns from opening his franchise in a day alone isn’t enough :0

"IF YOU SAY SO?"

you’re the one who hikes up the roll-up door in the slightest, enough for only yoongi to enter and not encourage anyone else to nOT enter when it’s still not opening time!!!!

he only has to crouch a little but he still has to dust his thousand-dollar pants as if he crawled through mud

his cream-colored slacks with a large black hoodie that has a giant bear embroidered on the middle of it and mules

... you don't hate his outfits

pretty cute, actually

it's yoongi!!

you'd never catch him lacking!!!

you don't even have to envision him rocking the shit out a paper bag

one time, he came in the store wearing the WRINKLIEST brown linen jumpsuit that no iron could possibly fix and he still pulled it off

toon-teen-ten!

oh god that’s the sound of the intercom

and the sound of the intercom equates to jungkook

... as in jeon jungkook who’s the floor manager and his constant top one goal for every month is to endearingly annoy seokjin

he’s young and mischievous!! but if you were to ask him, only you and jungkook are the people in this floor he’d actually get drinks with outside the shop

“seokjin come to the lingerie department right now, please.”

you see the thing is :D

“now this is just funny

there’s walkie-talkies for everyone here!! jungkook likes intercoms, and seokjin like yelling!!

“WHY ME AGAIN?? I’VE ALREADY FOLDED-“

“there’s a literal rat and i need yOU to catch it!! you know that i hate rodents!!”

him and jungkook are forever gonna be on this eldest-youngest brother dynamic and while jungkook pouts and shared the extras that he gets, jin is the one who kills the bugs :D

10/10 totally fair

fine then!! he’ll catch that goddamn rat

that leaves you and yoongi. alone.

“why did you come so early this time?”

you ask out of courtesy, genuinely baffled too because you know that yoongi’s a creature of habit

yoongi’s eyes pop out, head fervently shaking no

“i’m typically not the type to do that, no.”

???

is he-

are you-

are you both talking about the same thing

yoongi’s face flushes in embarrassment, his mind just then registering what you were actually saying

“o-oh! it’s because last night, i dreamt of the sweater i saw here last week!!"

oh right

typical :D

"need me to find it for you or do you already know the aisle?"

you align the folded shirts by the corners as you pass, looking at yoongi briefly while he trails behind yoh

“not unless you pulled it out already."

he's hoping that dear god you haven't

the black sweater with the moon aND buildings on it and when you turn on the flash, the windows of said building reflect it right back???

he SHUDDERS just by thinking about it

it’s gonna go with everything!!! an instant boost of serotonin every time he sees it

"for you, yoongi?" you shake your head, a small smile on your face that he only sees every once in a while, "i'd comb through the entire stock room."

wait

that’s sweet :((

“i’ll hold you to that.”

you know what??? you're less cranky when it's only him, and a couple of hundred people less

your smiles aren't for customer-service and you don't have misplaced clothes hanging from your shoulders and your walkie-talkie isn't talking in latin

or when no one’s asking you to reach something from the top shelf

or when you’re on the way to the intercom because a kid got separated from their mother

or when someone’s approaching for a refund for a shirt who has a stain that’s 100% no doubt customer error

his feet immediately move on its own because he’s memorized the outline of this too many times

there it is!!!

the sweater he’s dreamt about is already on his hands, only a handful few left

the piece is considerably more expensive than majority of the items here, so that’s why they’re all spaced-out instead of being clustered altogether

yoongi rarely goes to the dressing room, regardless if it's a full-house or not!!

he could just look at an item and immediately tell that it’s made for him ta know

he's beyond sure that this sweater fits him perfectly, but he may want to be here a little longer

yoongi may have say inside one of the fitting rooms and spent a little time in it just to sit on the chair inside, not fitting the sweater at all

he's gotten his item SO quick and he wished he could've just walked slower or pretended to not know where it was!!!

he wants to spend a little more time here

you don't hate yoongi!!! but sometimes he could just be... yoongi

he's quite talkative and strikes it whenever, making you unguarded

he could be overbearing but like an overbearing kind of nice

yoongi’s nice!! he’s the type to ask a lot of questions sure, but he’s also the type that would point the other customers what to buy and where to find it

he’s the type to find an obvious faulty stitch on a shirt, but he’d just quietly exchange it instead of asking for the manager

he’s the type you wouldn’t want to stand behind in line because it would take a long time for him to finish, but he’s also the same one who buys giftcards with generous amounts for family and friends

yoongi’s kind of cool and that’s cemented on your mind

"what do you got for me?"

he materializes out of nowhere, spooked because you thought he already ringed up and was out of the store already

it just happens to be ten minutes before opening and you’re doing last-minute arrangements on a new spread

well, yoongi most certainly is still here and his attention’s piqued

“we have... a new collection."

you clear your theory, awkwardly gesturing because you’re more than aware that yoongi hasn’t seen this either

“yeah, i know that. but like, what's going on??" he gestures to the displays and racks, squinting his eyes, "what's the theme? what's the material?"

:O

uhm you haven't read the brief about this

you aren't even sURE if there is one!!

doesn't everyone make up something on the spot in retail

or atleast that’s what seokjin tells you

“the theme," you clear your throat, scratching your temple before gesturing towards the full rack, "is everything."

“everything?

yoongi’s eyebrow is raised, not expecting that answer at all

you look back to the new feature, and nOW that you think about it,, there's no cohesion at all

“y-yes. the shop was going for the theme of uhm, everything... all at once — yeah, that's it. everything all at once."

it’s a nice way to put it when not one bit of the new collection goes together

“hmmmm. i like it,” yoongi nods solemnly and tilts his head, “and the material?"

"the material?"

you repeat, eyesight not the best so you can’t really tell anything off the bat or uh aNYTHING really

"t-the material is shirt."

they're all shirts!!! that’s it

yoongi grimaces in disgust, the first time you’ve seen of it

“what?? you can't say that.”

he outsretches his hand to the nearest article, holding it up by the hanger

"this, right here, is satin. see how it shines like silk, but doesn't feel like silk?"

uhm yes

you have a gist of what he’s saying but yes

yoongi picks up a pink button shirt this time, flipping it inside out

"this, is silk charmeuse. look at the inside, is it smooth?"

okay where is he going with this

he urges you to put your hand on the fabric and uhhh you didn't sign up for this???

it looks smooth, sure!! end of discussion

"yea-..."

“it's not. it's rough. it is smooth, but it's dull. silk charmeuse is still silk, but the backing it has is different from the lustrous part."

okay yoongi

you’re starting to feel uncomfortable and it has to do something with the tone he’s using on you

“can't believe you didn't know that!! how about this," he plucks out a shirt with a tiny print at the middle of it, "cotton or polyester and rayon?"

"i don't-"

there’s an itch in your neck that you want to scratch, a tell-tale sign that you just wANT to remove yourself from this situation

“come on!! it's a dead giveaway!!"

:((

why is he being like this?

toon-teen-ten!

“y/n, panty section please. jin almost got bit by a mouse and he needs comforting. two minutes until opening, people!!"

jungkook speaks at the right moment, and jin’s little incident is enough of a reason for you to bolt

yoongi's still looking at you but you can't afford to embarrass yourself further

“bye. happy shopping."

huh?

yoongi’s face falls when you leave as cold as that!! typically when you were going to show him out (when it’s regular shop hours), there’d be a smile :((

there's not even a customer service smile :(((

yoongi goes to the only cashier that's open so far and it happens to be far away from you and a teary seokjin

seokjin's fine he didn't even get bit!! that much he could say

but are you okay? uhhh you kinda went cold on him by the end and he thought he started on a good note

yoongi doesn't visit for another week and you don't find yourself counting the days until you meet him again

you did not have a devil wears prada moment where anne hathaway has an epiphany for fashion knowledge

you just felt belittled at a job that isn’t exactly what you wanted anyways

needed, yes. but wanted? not exactly

you know that basic knowledge about clothes is required in a retail job like this and you have it!! you do!!!!

you’d know more if only there were actual available resources for employees to know!!! nobody besides yoongi asks anyways

you’d know if you have time to yourself and aren’t working two jobs trying to make ends meet and tHEN you could pull up a book or something!!!

you’d know if your life is as lax as yoongi’s and could have the budget to buy new things for yourself every single week

“jin, i need to ask you something.”

he hums as called, looking at you briefly until you get on with it

“do you know the difference between silk and silk charmeuse?"

he shrugs casually while you're sitting inside one of the closed-off fitting rooms to catch a break, sharing a burger because the store’s packed-packed

why did you ask him? it’s too easy

“one's made by worms, and the other's a pokémon."

that,.,., could not possibly be righti* it brings you a laugh and you honestly don’t even try to correct him

it’s 11:15 and you kNOW it’s time to resume your shift, straightening your shirt because atleast one (1) person would hound you when they see a familiar red lanyard

oh you’re hounded alright

“hi! almost thought you were hiding from me for a second.”

yoongi????

oh

you haven’t seen him for a week and you don’t know what to feel in all honesty

"anyways, is this sweater wool or cotton?"

wow

you're quite speechless as he holds up the item

really?

this thing all over again???

why are you even surprised

the only thing that yoongi gets your customer service smile, fishing your hand from inside the sweater to show him

“70% wool."

that's it???

NO GOOD MORNING????

you're mad at him, aren't you?

he knew it :((

he knew something was wrong but he just didn’t know what

he’s gonna fix this!! he will

which is why the very next day, he takes the day off from his work and comes to the store at a time he knows you’d surely be there

you're on cashier duty and you like it actually :D

you have an option to sit and the way you’re just gonna scan pricetags (and occasionally enter the code if it doesn’t work) is really appealing

“good morning!"

you’re about to grab the items from the basket laid on the counter and your eyes could only see the very familiar hand

the same one you’ve seen go through racks and racks

yoongi??

he sets his items one by one, buying himself more time

the first one is the same exact sweater he came to wait for before opening

“you already bought this."

you tell him even before you could hold it back, looking back at him briefly before you scan the tag

“i know. i just wanted to see you."

oh

oh

yoongi threw a bunch of other items (individually) so it would be a longer talk, but you scan each item quickly that he’s grabbing things from the counter

hand sanitizer!!! hair ties!!! keychains!!!! yeah he needs them

“i'm sorry that i tend to spring shit on you most of the time. you don't need to know the difference between silk and silk charmeuse."

you only chuckle then, a meek smile on your face

"it's okay, yoongi.”

“it's not."

... it’s not?

yoongi fidgets, opening and closing his mouth like he’s nervous!!! he’s never had his credit card cancelled but he could only feel that this type of jitterness is more than the former

“can i make it up to you? no lanyards, no baskets, no customer service?? i don't wanna fuck things up with you."

“don't feel obligated-"

“i know i could be a condescending ass who expects people to automatically know fabric and whatnot, but i wanna make it up to you."

alright yoongi’s a really good apology-maker

you mIGHT be even flustered a little

“you're holding the line, yoongi.”

“i cleared my schedule."

“i haven’t!!!!!” - guy in the back

“dinner at my place at 8. i-i promise to make your hard-earned break after your shift worthwhile!!!"

hmmm

maybe that wouldn’t hurt

“okay. just because you're holding the line."

“fine by me."

:))

yoongi transfers all the items he bought, all but one, to his tote bag

he hands back the paper bag to you, scribbling his address on the back of the receipt before he does

he lingers a little while at the counter, the people behind him ALREADY switching lanes to the one seokjin’s just opened beside you

it's the sweater that he has too

yoongi scratches the back of his head, this time being the meek one

“what? m-matching sweaters for our first date. s'cute."

[arcadejohn127-9]

Hi if your requests are still open can you do something with the demon brothers + new datables (or not if that's too much!) comforting an MC who just got off a shift at work and is frustrated from customers and needs some reassuring words/cuddles to make them feel better? Thanks so much~😊💞

A message for all the workers who are employed despite the pandemic or were employed but had to stop due to the pandemic, YOU ARE THE REAL ONES!!

Thank you so much for all the hard work you're doing/done, especially retail. You guys are always being supportive and understanding.

I'm so sorry for all you who's had to deal with Karen's and uncomfortable customer's who's tried hitting on you or just being disturbing

I wish the government wasn't doing you all dirty. Money can be such a serious issue and now it's gotten even worse, I just wanna say I'm proud and thankful!

Brothers + undateables comfort MC who just finished a hard day of work

Lucifer:

You found him in his study, hunched over his desk

Seeing him so deep into work made you regret coming to him

You were just about to head back up but he spotted you

"Welcome back, I'll be with you in a moment, I I just need to- Dear? What's wrong?"

You immediately broke down into tears

In seconds you were being cradled in his arms, sitting in his lap and having soothing circles rubbed into your back

He's letting you release your frustrations, ignoring how wet his shirt was getting

When you finally calmed down, you apologized for getting his shirt wet

"Nonsense, tell me what's upset you, was it your manager again?"

You explained how your day went, how costumers were yelling at you and the work getting overwhelming

"You did everything you could, they're lucky to have such a hard worker like yourself, I'll be phoning your boss as soon as I can to get you a raise."

Mammon:

He picked you up in his car, waving you over with some take out sitting in your seat

As soon as you buckled in you took your portion of take out

"So, how was work? Did you finally get your pay check?"

You sighed, shoving your face with food as you ranted about how difficult today has been

The more you spoke the more upset you got, sniffling and trying to hide your sobs

He couldn't stand it; he pulled over as soon as he could and turned to you

"They can't be treating you like that! What are their names and faces? I'll go sort them out, no one treats my baby like that!"

You laughed, telling him he can't beat up your costumers

"You can't do it but I can, don't worry I'll find a way."

He pulled you into a hug, both of you laughing when he choked himself on his seatbelt

After you two unbuckled he just let you lean against him, having how own mini rant about how amazing you are and people not treating you like you're the most valuable treasure in the world

Levithan:

He was gaming, of course, when he heard you knock he immediately asked what's the secret password

"Please, not today, I can barely think right now, can I just come in?"

Usually he's more stubborn than that but hearing how desperate your voice was, he let you in

Knew something was bad when you immediately climbed into his bed tub and smother yourself with his body pillow

He let his game play in the background, ignoring the angry messages from his team mates

"Work stress?"

All he heard was a muffled sound of agreement

"Those damn normies-! What did they do to you? Was it the Karen's again?"

You yelled into the pillow, ranting about your day and letting it be muffled but still loud enough for him to hear

He scooted over in his chair, watching you peak your head out

Tears staining your cheeks as you frowned at him

He blushed as he immediately kissed both of your cheeks, cupping your face

"wanna play employee simulator? It lets you fight the annoying customers."

Satan:

"There's my hard worker." He kissed your cheek, greeting you at your bedroom door

"You seem upset, what's the matter?"

You immediately started explaining what happened toward, leaning against him as you went on and on

Satan could feel his anger flair up as he listened

He couldn't stand how the customer's have been treating you and the fact no one was willing to give you some emotional support at work?

Not even a pat on the shoulder or words of praise of how you handled it

But he kept himself in check, holding you close

"That must of been horrible, I can't imagine how tired you must be, let's go rest, okay? You did amazing today, kitten."

You sniffled, asking if he really meant what he said

He nodded, dragging you to your bed and telling you how proud he is

Asmodeus:

"My poor sweetheart! You look absolutely exhausted! What happened today?!"

He caressed and rubbed your skin, soothing out your frown lines and any sign of stress

You let him pamper you whilst you went off about how work was

Recieving alot of 'No!'s, 'They didn't!' and hums of displeasure

He tsked, rubbing the soothing cream into your palm

"They're just awful, aren't they? This kind of stress isn't good for you, Perhaps I should come with you! See how great you are in person."

You immediately butted in, not wanting him to force himself to do something he didn't want to do

Knowing he's very mindful of his appearance and status among people

"I'll do it for you~ besides, people love me! I'll charm those horrible costumers and they'll never be rude to you again."

You insisted that he didn't have to

He then rambled on about how attractive you look when you're focused and doing work

You just laughed, sinking into his touch as he went on

Beezlebub:

He frowned when he noticed you didn't give him his 'im back' kiss

He immediately went searching for you and found you in your room

Face buried in your pillow and your body shaking

"You're crying."

A pit formed in his stomach, wondering what upset you

You told him how horrible today was, going into detail about how hard you were trying to fix the issues but they just wouldn't stop

You almost got in trouble with your manger! You could of been fired!

"You did everything you could and still kept your cool, the place would be lost without you there."

You smiled, shuffling over and giving him a big hug, he immediately returned it

He was giving you gentle comforting squeezes

slowly rocking you both side to side

"I'll eat them if they keep harassing you."

Belphegor:

"Come to your favourite demon, tell him everything that happened."

He did the grabby hands, looking up at you

You sighed, letting yourself flop in his arms as you hugged him

You wondered how he could tell how upset you were

He just grinned

"I'm smart, remember? I know when my teddy bear is upset."

You just rolled your eyes, staring off to the side as tears formed

He didn't expect you to yell in frustration

You ranted about how work was today

How costumers yelled at you and kept insisting you were lying about the products

Critizing your job and assuming things about you

Even having a few creeps come in and try to flirt with you

"Don't listen to any of them, I know who you are and you know who you are, It's impressive how professional you can be when they act like that, I would of killed them."

He listened to you ramble, hugging you and stroking up and down your back

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

"I didn't expect you to come back so late, did something happen?"

You explained how your job forced you to do extra hours, despite not getting over time pay

He made a mental note to visit your workplace on one of your day's off

You then proceeded to go on about how the costumer's were treating you

How stressful and harsh today was

Diavolo just listened, nodding along

He felt his jaw clench

"Tell me more on the bed, your feet must be aching."

You both laid on his bed, you continued your story about today whilst he held your hand

"This is unforgivable, I cannot stand to imagine people being so rude to you, I know you do your very best and would never deserve such treatment."

He was cuddling you all night, wanting to sooth your upset heart

Whenever he felt you shake against him, trying to combat your tears he just gently patted you

Encouraging you to just let it all out, praising you for how amazing you are

Barbatos:

As soon as you arrived back, he was quick to help you undress

Handing you your pajamas and helped you take off your shoes

He noticed a new blister and your sigh of content when you were finally out of them

He works aswell so he understands the struggles

"another long day? tell me what happened, you need to let your frustrations out."

And you did just that

You poured your heart and soul into your stressed out grunts

Becoming more upset the more you spoke about your tough day

Getting more upset when your manager only made it worse by blaming the costumers anger on you

All you did was tell her what you were taught to say!

"That won't do, I'll be sure to have my lord handle things with your boss, tomorrow."

You told him that you didn't want to be a hassle but he silenced you

Suddenly embarassing you as he patted your head

"I'll fix this for you, while I cannot change the customer's I can change how your higher ups are treating you, you don't deserve this."

Solomon:

When you met up with him, you had to try and hide how much you've been stressing

But Solomon was known to be wise for a reason

He immediately figured out something was wrong

"I'm Solomon the wise, you cannot fool me, what happened today?"

As soon as you tell him what happened today

He pulls out a potion, suspiciously doesn't tell you what it does, and tells you to splash it in difficult customers eyes

You were sure it was posion or some weird liquid that came from his cooking attempts

Then again those were basically the same thing

"if the eyes don't work, I could put it in a spray, it'll stop them from yelling at you again~!"

You were very tempted

You never wanted to be yelled or harassed by a customer again

But you didn't want to get fired for assaulting a customer or even worse, killing one

"You followed protocol exactly as you were told, they shouldn't be mad at you for doing your job but don't worry, I'll make all your tears-"

He suddenly wiped under your eyes, catching you off guard

"Disappear!"

Simeon:

"My little lamb, tell me what's bothering you."

He sat you down on the sofa, grasping your hand

You deflated

You rested your head on his chest and played with his hand

He listened to you rant and ramble about your horrible day at work

He couldn't believe what he was hearing; how rude they were and had no right to treat you like that!

"Perhaps, I shall bless you with a miracle and get rid of those rude customer's."

As wonderful as that sounded

You joked how unangelic it seemed; using his power to 'get rid of people'

Hearing a dangerous implication in his voice

"It is a good deed that will do many a favour, I believe it to be extremely kind, after all, you didn't do anything wrong."

Stayed and cuddled with you until you fell asleep, preferring how happy and peaceful you looked than how you looked before

Stressed and clearly upset

Luke:

"Those demons!! I've been telling you they're horrible creatures, they can't be treating you like that!"

Perhaps ranting to him wasn't the wisest decision

But he was so eager to see you after work and wanted to know what was wrong

He was hugging your hips, stomping his foot when he spoke

"You're an angel in human disguise! There's no way they could be so horrible to out without being truely evil beings!"

You tried to calm him down by picking him up

Telling him you were able to handle the situation like a champ

He felt better knowing you were able to come out on top

He hugged you as you took him back to his room

Tucking him into bed but was surprised when he grabbed you

"You're a really good person and I know you work harder than anyone else, I hope they don't be mean to you like that again."

[the-storyteller-and-her-soldiers]

I'm Not Dead!

Hey everyone! I'm sure none of y'all been asking, "Where's Becca? Has she stopped self-shipping? Does she not care about us??" The answer to the last two questions is a big, fat, no!

As for where I've been, well, I turned 20 on January 25th and I thank everyone who sent in well wishes, I just got swamped with more in real life stuff! Like I'm on the Dean's list at my college, I was nominated and accepted into the National Society of Leadership and Success, so now I'm working on becoming a fully inducted member, plus I have all my school work and my job in retail. Not to mention that I also have been working on my court hearing over the phone to prove to the government I am disabled which I'm absolutely dreading... I've also had some other bumps and highs in my life that I just don't feel the need to mention... OKAY, one more thing is that my real life girlfriend and I went hatchet throwing for her birthday and it was tons of fun and I love her!!!

During all this, I've still been thinking of selfship stuff daily! Robby Keene has all my love but Yagami, Raiden, Kaito, and Nero have all been casting feels on me... How dare they?! -_-

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY!! I want y'all to know that I'm still completely invested and always dying to hear more about your ships! I'm sorry if I haven't gotten to a message or sent out asks as I really mean to but then I just crash ;x; SO PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE KNOW THAT I'M ALWAYS UP TO HEAR FROM Y'ALL responses just escape me sometimes!!

But I love you all I'll do my best to start posting more imagines and sending out asks again! I hope you all have a splendid day and get all the love you deserve from your f/os!!

Also just so I make sure friends and people I care for see this (Only reason for no tag is either I forgot or you're on hiatus/busy so I don't wanna bug you!)

@disneymarina @hadesgoddess @heavenshipped @lonelyselfship

@goldenworldsabound@rain-selfships

@malewifehenrycooldown @dragongambler @ignited-lovers

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter eleven

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3560

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: none

Note: Honestly, this chapter reads a little weird to me but my friend who helps me edit said it was fine. IDK going from the 40s to 2012 is weird when trying to write.

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Masterlist

Seven months had gone by since Steve and I had been unfrozen. This new world I suddenly woke up in was exhausting. Everything had changed from the simplest thing like manners to complicated things like technology.

Days after waking up, we had been sent to a place called “The Retreat” so we could catch up on the seventy years we had missed out on. There was so much that we took to writing everything down in small notebooks, so we could remember.

I caught onto using the new technology quicker than Steve since I had worked with Howard Stark for several years. Being able to adapt to strange and new tech on the fly was a requirement when working with him.

After those few weeks there, we were both moved into two separate government apartments located in New York. I wish I could say that it got easier with time, but it didn’t. Instead of going to hang out with Steve or actually trying to make acquaintances with anyone, I just stayed in my room, locked away from everything. Coping with being in the future was the easy part, learning to live without everyone I ever knew was hard.

I hadn't known peaceful sleep in a long time. Every time I closed my eyes I am met with nightmares. The softness of the mattress had made it feel like I would fall through at any moment, back into the ice. To try and combat this I pushed my bed into the far corner of the room and made a cot directly under the frame. It felt safer to lay on the hard floor in the dark. The nightmares still came through, sometimes they were battles, sometimes they were of the plane crashing, but most of the time they were about losing Bucky. Every time I woke up in a cold sweat and never went back to bed. I just stared unblinking at the metal that made the bed frame.

One night after a particularly taxing dream I decided to take a walk. It was three in the morning, so I wouldn't have to deal with a lot of people. I changed out of my pajamas into some of the clothes I had been provided. The clothes of the future were tighter than in the forties. It had taken me a while to get used to the feeling of fabric clinging to my legs and upper body. The outside world was quiet except for the occasional car passing by. I kept my eyes to the ground, not really caring where I ended up. I only looked up when I was almost run over by another late-night walker. Peering from left to right, my eyes fixed on an old faded sign hanging above me. The letters were just barely readable and said in large letters ‘Boxing gym’. With another survey of the area, I realized where I was. This was the gym that Bucky used to take Steve when teaching him self-defense. I had tagged along a couple of times before I had joined the SSR, I was surprised it was still here. I smiled weakly and turned to the door. The light inside was on, it couldn’t hurt to see if they were open. The door creaked open and I slipped in quietly. The sound of someone working out came down the long brick hallway. Hesitantly I made my way to the open doors that led to the sparring room.

Stopping just past the threshold, to my surprise, I spotted Steve, who was busy punching the life out of a punching bag. I walked through the small office and around the boxing rings before I stopped again and leaned against one of the columns a few feet away from where Steve stood. I watched him for a while before he landed a hard punch on the bag and it flew off into the distance. I started clapping slowly and he turned around in shock.

“Good job, you broke the bag, but you do know you’re gonna have to pay for that right?”

“Hey kid, I haven’t seen you in a while. I came by your apartment but you didn’t answer.”

“I know Stevie, I just haven't felt up to company since we got back to New York. I hope you can forgive me.” He looked at me with sad eyes and took three long steps in my direction. His arms came out to engulf me in a hug.

“It’s okay, I understand. Promise you’ll tell me if something's wrong, okay?” I nodded into his chest and he squeezed me tighter.

“I couldn't sleep, I guess you couldn't either.”

“No, too many thoughts.” He let go of me and went to get two more punching bags. He hung them up a few feet away from one another before turning to me and asking if I wanted to join. Pretty soon we were both laughing together if it felt almost like we were back home before everything happened. That was until the same dark-skinned man from that day seven months ago showed up. I later learned he was Nick Fury, director of SHIELD.

“I’m glad to find you both here.” He stated.

“Are you here with a mission, Sir?” Steve asked.

“I am.”

“Is this to try and get us back out in the world?” I asked.

“No, I'm trying to save it.” he thrust out an open manila folder. I grabbed it slowly and brought it to where Steve and I could both look at it. The blue cube that had evaporated Johann Schmidt was in the photograph pinned to the first page. In large bold letters beside the pictures spelled out TESSERACT. We slowly walked to a nearby bench and sat down.

“That's HYDRA’s secret weapon. I thought it fell into the ocean that day,” I whispered.

“Howard fished it out of the water when they went looking for you both. He thought what we think, that this cube could be an unlimited sustainable energy source.” Fury informed us.

“Who took it from you?” Steve questioned.

“He’s called Loki, he’s not from around here. We have a lot we're gonna need to catch you both up on if you agree to help. This world has gotten stranger than you already know.”

“I doubt anything could surprise us anymore, right Stevie?”

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Ten bucks says you’re both wrong.” Fury bet. We both got up from our seats and handed the file back. Steve went and grabbed another bag from the floor and I just headed straight for the door.

“There are debriefing packets at your apartments, read through them and get back to me by tomorrow afternoon. And before you leave, is there anything we should know about the tesseract?”

“You should have left it in the ocean.” Steve and I said at once before walking out of the gym. Once we were outside on the sidewalk we hugged and said our goodbyes for the moment and then went our separate ways.

The walk home felt longer than the walk to the gym, but this gave me time to think about what I wanted to do. Whether I wanted to go on this mission, or if I just wanted to lay low and live my life. By the time I walked through my front door I had almost made my decision, but I was waiting to read the file before I decided for good. With a quick look through the minimal information provided I sighed and threw the papers down onto my kitchen counter. Shaking my head I murmured to myself.

“No, I am not doing this. This cube is not worth it.” Rubbing my eyes I went back to my room and crawled under the bed, not caring that I was still in jeans and a t-shirt. I was not going to walk blindly into anything dealing with that cube again. I lost my fiance and everyone I have ever known because of that stupid blue thing, I'm not going to go anywhere near it again. I laid there quietly for a while before I eventually drifted off into a restless sleep.

The next morning I woke up with a start, almost hitting my head on the bed above me. Furious honking made its way from the street into my room. One thing I definitely missed from the past was how quiet it once was at seven a.m.

Along with the decision to not join the mission, I had also made up my mind about leaving New York. This had been a long decision in the making and the talk with Fury last night was enough to make the choice for me. I couldn't live in this city anymore. The places I used to hang out at were still here, but they had been renovated so many times that they were unrecognizable. Everywhere I turned It was like I was walking through a strange alternate reality. I saw glimpses of the past, like ghosts around every corner, it was worse when it was a place Bucky and I frequented.

When I had gotten back from the Retreat I made the mistake of going to mine and Steve’s old apartment. It had been torn down to construct a bookstore, along with several other retail shops. I broke down in the street when I saw it, waves upon waves of emotions crashed into me. All the memories I had there with Steve, mom, and Bucky had no place to live now other than in my mind. The next mistake I made was to go down the next few blocks to Bucky’s apartment he shared with his mom and sister, Rebecca. It was no longer there either, a bakery stood in its place. I turned and left before the onslaught of tears came. After that day I thought it would be best to go somewhere else, somewhere I had no memories.

I crawled out from under the bed and slowly moved to the bathroom to start getting ready for the long day to come. Once I had showered and gotten dressed I sat myself down on the living room sofa, looking wearily at the telephone on the end table. Hesitantly I picked up the receiver and dialed the number that had been in the tesseract briefing file. It rang twice before Nick Fury answered.

“Mr. Fury, I’m calling to tell you that I won’t be joining your team for whatever mission you have going on. I just want to lay low and rebuild my life and live it quietly without interruption.” I let out a long breath.

“Well, that’s unfortunate. Was really hoping to have you fight with us. If you change your mind, you know where to contact me. Goodbye Agent Rogers.” He hung up quickly after that, not giving me a chance to tell him goodbye as well. The next call was going to be the hard one, I had to tell Steve my plans. I dialed his number slowly as I raised the receiver to my ear. It didn’t even have time to get through the first ring before Steve picked up.

“Hello?” He asked on the other end.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“What’s up kid. Have you called Fury about joining the mission? I called about an hour ago letting them know I’d help.” He sounded a little enthusiastic.

“That’s actually what I’m calling about. I’m not sure how you’ll feel about this but I’m not going to help with the mission.”

“Oh,” he sounded surprised. “Why not? I thought you’d want to help get rid of that thing once and for all.”

“It’s not that, I want nothing more than for the tesseract to be gone for good. I just don’t think I can be a part of it, I don’t want this thing to take over my life if we can’t get rid of it. This brings me to another important thing I need to tell you. I can’t stay here in New York, so I’m moving to DC.” He was quiet for a while after I had said that, the only thing I could hear coming from his side was his breath. I grew more anxious by the minute waiting for him to say something.

“What do you mean you’re moving? Why can’t you stay here with me?”

“Don’t be selfish.” I snapped.

“I’m not being selfish, you are.” he raised his voice. I huffed through my nose, getting annoyed.

“I can’t stay here any longer. I have no idea what it is like for you, but for me, being in this city is torture. I see ghosts from the past every time I leave my house. I can’t go anywhere without seeing him, and every time I see him, I break down. I never got to say goodbye and that day plays over and over in my head. Steve, I’m being tormented with nightmares to the point where I have barely gotten five hours of sleep in the past week. I need to get out of here whether you like it or not.” Tears had started to stream down my face as I yelled into the phone.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have helped you, I still can help you if you let me. If you leave I can’t keep you safe, I can’t protect you like I’m supposed to.” He was using his soft “grown-up” voice he always used with me when I was younger to try and calm me down but the tears kept streaming down my cheeks at a rapid pace.

“I can protect myself, we did take the same serum,” I choked out. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to bother you with my problems, I can deal with them myself. Plus you have your own things to deal with, you don’t need to help me with mine.” My head was starting to hurt now and my cheeks and neck itched with quickly drying tears.

“Fine. The only way I will be okay with you leaving is if you promise to call me at least twice a week and you let me help you move.” I gave a strained laugh and nodded, even if he couldn't see it.

“Okay, it’s a deal. I actually already have an apartment lined up, so you can come over and help me pack everything up whenever you want to. I’m going to try and be out of New York by the end of next week.”

“I’ll be right over.” I laughed as I told him that I’d be waiting. I laid the receiver back down in its spot and stood up to go to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror, thinking. I was glad my relationship with Steve could handle an argument, understand one another, then go right back to normal, I don’t think we would be this close if it couldn't. I blinked back a few stubborn tears and bent down to grab a rag from the sink cabinet, I dampened it in warm water then wiped the dried tears from my face. The warm water felt wonderful on my skin.

Over the next week and a half, Steve and I boxed up what few belongings I had and packed them and the furniture into a moving truck. I didn’t own a car so the moving truck would be my transportation to DC. One of the many things SHIELD had us do was take a modern driving test, which wasn’t hard, just a few more signs to remember and more gadgets in the car than there used to be, I ended up passing with flying colors.

By Friday morning we had everything ready to go. Steve would follow me on his motorcycle and I would drive the truck the whole three and a half hours to my new apartment.

We stopped several times on the way down, mainly so Steve didn’t have to sit on the bike for the whole three hours straight. We also stopped for lunch. All in all the trip took us about five hours, with traffic added. We made it to my new home just after two and we started moving my belongings in immediately.

Admittedly the apartment was way too big for just me but I liked the extra space, it was different from the tiny two-bedroom apartment I had grown up in. The first thing I made sure to unpack and put up was the bed. I still hadn't told Steve I wasn’t actually sleeping in the bed, but he didn’t need to know that. After that clothes were sorted through and put in their respective places. With our enhanced strength and stamina, we had the whole place relatively furnished in just under two hours. We stopped for dinner when everything had been brought up from the moving truck.

The day went by fast with us talking and laughing like we used to, it was a good change of pace from my usual aimlessly roaming around my apartment alone. But, all good things have to come to an end and Steve had to leave. He pulled me into a tight hug, almost crushing me, and wouldn’t let go until I pinky promised to call him several times a week. I just laughed and promised him I would. I was sad watching him walk down the hallway to the stairs.

I turned back into my apartment and closed the door, locking it behind me. I stared at the box littering the floor and decided to get to work unpacking the rest of what we hadn’t gotten earlier.

Most of my belongings I found in thrift stores and antique shops around the city. It may have been the twenty-first century now, but that wasn’t stopping me from making my home a comfortable, familiar space. If you walked in from the outside world, you would have thought you had been transported to the past with how much authentic 1940s and before things I had littered about. Some things had been saved from the apartment we lived in in the forties. I learned a few weeks before we came back from the retreat that Peggy had been the one to put everything in storage after they had failed to find Steve and me in the ice. I had gone through all of it and took out what I wanted to take with me and Steve had done the same. I was thankful Peggy had done what she did, otherwise, everything would have been lost to time.

That night as I tried to sleep, I realized it was a little easier to relax. DC was a whole lot quieter than New York, there was no honking or yelling every two seconds to keep me awake. I was left alone in almost complete silence, which for others may be worse than being bombarded with noise, but I didn’t mind. I fell asleep almost an hour after laying down for the night and had a restless sleep. I woke up many times in the night covered in sweat, but I couldn't remember the dreams, anything I could remember dissipated as soon as I opened my eyes.

I woke up again very early the next morning, the clock on my wall said it was four forty-five. It was still dark out, but I could hear birds starting to chirp. I crawled out from under the bed frame and went to put on some exercise clothes. Running always helped to clear my mind after not being able to get any sort of rest. The run itself didn’t take long, even though it was seven miles, any normal person would be exhausted but I had barely broken a sweat. I did get to see some nice places, taking a route around the zoo, to the National Cathedral, and then back around to the Dupont Circle neighborhood, where my apartment was. The sun was just starting to come up as I made my way back into my building.

Although I had just moved in the day before, I was ready to start finding some sort of job. The money SHIELD was giving me to help assimilate back into the world comfortably was appreciated, but I wanted to make my own way in life without their help. Finding a job was going to be harder than it used to be, but I did have expertise in several areas. Upon being unfrozen, along with the driving tests, SHIELD created a new resume for me. I had degrees in history pertaining to the 1940s, World War II, and several of the New Deal programs, with a specialty in the SSR. I was also given a Veteran ID, although I don’t really know how that one works because I definitely was not a part of the apparent ongoing fighting in Afghanistan. I still looked twenty-four, I doubt anyone would believe it.

Anyway, I had interviews lined up for today at the Smithsonian, and hopefully, the resume that SHIELD created and my knowledge would be enough to land a job. I had already figured that I would be volunteering at the local VFW. I knew I could find people there to relate to and hopefully be able to make some friends.

Tag List: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae @starkleila

[hypmic-translation]

Naniwa Paradise Sake

CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing (1) Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit

SASARA Osaka Division’s formation celebration ROSHO Naniwa’s neon lights are looming overhead (2) SASARA The truth is, it’s difficult to know where to go REI How ‘bout a night of mistakes around Chayamachi? (3) SASARA Having a lively talk about nothing important is Nurude Sasara and his merry band of friends ROSHO Passing through Ame-mura, noisily wasting time (4) REI Crossing that border brings you into a new world SASARA Okonomi! (5) ROSHO Kushikatsu! (6) REI This is the nation’s kitchen (7) SASARA Let’s have a toast! Count to ten, if ya please REI Hey, we only just got here ROSHO That was very sudden (8) SASARA Our suddenly-formed team is sure to run into trouble It’s not really worth much, but I still wanna thank you (9) Us three are the best! SASASA/REI Cheers to that! SASARA We’ll be champions! ROSHO Yeah, champions of flour-food (10) ALL Those eastern divisions aren’t such a big deal (11)

CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit

REI Alcohol is the best medicine around Kill the beat, make some noise, 108 desires in all (12) Word games are just instances of luck So it’s been decided, I’m tonight’s designated driver Irregular noise, a gold driver’s license (13) In our own private world, go straight Don’t drink if you drive, don’t drive if you drink (14) You’re only allowed to ride this track tonight

ROSHO Drank so much saké that I can’t stop laughing Stuck here in the same boat as this crook (15) Authority and wolves both will be forced to bow down (16) (24) Rivalry naturally gets me fired up (hic!) REI In simpler words, chop end-roll (17) ROSHO We’re gonna climb to the very top of this thing SASARA Aren’t you raring to go, Rosho~ Hm? ROSHO Huh? SASARA Oh, it’s your eyes? They don’t seem focused?

CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit

REI Without following trends we’re burning through spirits (18) Instead of chilling at home, this is the DH way SASARA Wholeheartedly playing around? Overdrinking Chamisul, the Makgeolli’s here! (19) REI Before dawn arrives we’ll keep emptying shot glasses Quietly smoking cigars with unsteady hands Celebrating life is us nightwalkers C’mon, until the morning sun rises, let’s go SASARA Drinking a lil too much turns into a touching memory ROSHO It’s always the same with you, isn’t it (20) The good and the bad, all of it bare (21) We’ll find a clear solution to that centre party for a one-shot, one-kill (22) SASARA I don’t like rock as much as hip-hop, yanno Once the beer gets here I’m gonna gulp it all down with a “bang!” and a “boom!” ROSHO Hold on! What are you talking about! SASARA This was all un-alcohoidable! (23) ROSHO The hell are you saying? Whatever, that’s enough! I’m done here!

CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit

NOTES (Under the read-more because they got very long!)

I’m so sorry for this one, but it was the only way I could think to incorporate the joke here organically. The line reads “ナニワともあれ歌いましょ (naniwa tomoare utaimasho)”, Naniwa being Osaka’s original name, as well as the name of one of its wards. The pun here is that “naniwa tomoare” sounds a lot like “何はともあれ (naniha-tomoare)”, which means “at any rate/in any case”, so a more literal translation would be “regardless, Naniwa, let’s sing”.

A more literal translation of “looming all around” would be “forward-bent posture”.

Chayamachi is a popular downtown district among young people in Osaka’s Kita ward. The shops there sell various kinds of food, fashion and forms of amusement.

“Ame-mura” or “Amerikamura” (American Village) is another one of Osaka’s popular entertainment areas, this time in their Chuuo ward. Has many Western fashion retail shops, bars, and nightclubs.

“Okonomi”, short for okonomiyaki, which is Sasara’s favourite food. “Okonomi” on its own means “how/what you want” while “yaki” is “cooked”, so altogether it’s “cooked how you want”, referring to it’s versatile fillings. I think this is probably supposed to be a pun, but I wasn’t sure how to reflect that and Rosho carries on with the food naming anyway, so I went more literal here.

Kushikatsu is deep-fried meat and vegetables on skewers. Its origins can be found in Osaka, and both it and okonomiyaki are popular there.

Osaka was once called “the kitchen of the nation” during the Edo period, where many different kinds of food from all over Japan gathered due to the city being a warehouse and trading port.

This is a nice example of how these three use wordplay very effectively - Sasara says “ten-count”, written in katakana. Rei uses a word that can be read as “ten” (but isn’t, in this case) and Rosho does the same with “count”. Likewise in the line following, although Sasara doesn’t use the same word for “sudden” he does use onomatopoeia that essentially means the same thing, bringing the joke full circle.

“碌でもない” means “good for nothing/worthless”. “後光がさしてる” means “to be very thankful towards someone” (enough to make them look like an angel with a halo). I’m not sure I got the meaning of what Sasara’s saying exactly right, but this is how I’m interpreting it. I didn’t pick up on this myself, but someone pointed out to me how this section is in itself a count-down from ten - Rei and Rosho say 10 and 9 respectively, and then Sasara incorporates the rest of the numbers into his lines from 8 to 1. I have no idea how to make that look good in English though...

“Flour-food” refers to how most classic Osakan foods such as okonomiyaki and takoyaki are made with flour.

“Aren’t such a big deal” is more literally read as “how much is monjayaki worth” (なんぼのもんじゃい), the answer being “not much”.

“Kill the beat” (apparently a common phrase in breakdancing referring to being able to skillfully stay on rhythm) and “make some noise” are two different sentences in this line, but they both include a use of the word “hame” (はめ/ハメ) which, when put next to each other, is slang for “having sex”. “108 desires in all” is a reference to the Buddhist belief that humans have a total of 108 “worldly desires”, or polluted thoughts. “Worldly desires” is usually written as “煩悩”, however Rei uses “欲望” which also means desire but in a lustful sense.

A gold driver’s license is what you can get if you’re a “safe driver” in Japan with a standard license (you get points for driving violations, so only people with 0 points can get gold). Apparently these can occasionally get you discounts in hotels and shops.

This is apparently a popular slogan in Japan in order to discourage drunk driving, and according to one source I saw while investigating it’s been in use for over 30 years.

“Stuck in the same boat” is my loose interpretation of “呉越同舟”, which is the concept of working with someone you consider an enemy in order to achieve a common goal.

Rosho says “okami” twice in this line - or at least that’s how it sounds. The first is “okami (御上)” and means “authority”, so referring to the government/Chuuoku. The second is “ookami (狼)” which literally just means wolf, likely referencing Matenrou as the 1st Division Battle winners.

This gave me agony for ages, and to be entirely sure I’m still not sure if it’s right, but whatever. Tell me if you have a better alternative. I’m choosing to interpret “chop end-roll” as “cutting off before the end of a movie”, as “end-roll” in Japanese is how you refer to end credits, so I guess what Rei’s saying is basically “we’re finishing this now”. Also he uses “言の葉” for “words” which is also the name for the Party of Words - but he doesn’t actually say “party (党)” so I don’t think he was referring to them.

“Spirits” being liquors.

Chamisul and Makgeokki are both Korean alcoholic drinks. Also, I was informed that the line “Makgeokki’s here” (”Makkori ga kuru”) sounds a lot like “Maddotorigākurū”, which is “Mad Trigger Crew”.

So this gets interesting. The things Rosho says in both this and the next line are slurred, which gives them a double meaning - he’s saying one thing, but what they sound like are alcohol puns. In this case, “always/frequently (shotchū)” sounds like “shōchū”, which is a kind of Japanese liquor.

Here, “good and (iimo)” sounds like “potato (imo)”, which is something you can make alcohol out of. The same goes for “bare (mukidashi)”, the first half of which sounds like “wheat (mugi)”.

I’m a little vague on this one so take it with a pinch of salt. Rosho says “チュー輩” which is “chuu” and then “party”. “Chuu” isn’t exactly “Chuuo” and “輩” is the kanji for neither “political party” nor “ward”, but considering how drunk he is here I’m willing to believe he’s referencing Chuuoku. You’re free to correct me if I’m wrong though, I’m still very unsure.

Again, I’m really sorry for this. The joke here is that Sasara says “酒ては通れない (sakete wa tōrenai)”, which… doesn’t really mean anything sensical, but literally something like “alcohol can’t pass”. However, it sounds almost identical to “避けて通れない (sakete tōrenai)” which means “unavoidable”. So… un-alcohoidable. Haha.

Bonus fun fact; “okami” is also a reading of the obscure kanji “龗”, which (basically) means “water dragon”. However, as with most kanji, “龗” has multiple readings, one of which (kan-on) has it read as “rei”, just like “零” (Rei’s name). I don’t think it’s necessarily relevant to the song because of the obscurity, but it is an interesting tidbit.

[inoceaned]

To all the people who attended the protests in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne, don’t you think that the WHOLE of Australia would have taken your protest more seriously and actually RESPECT your cause if you all wore masks and physically distanced yourselves?

Now I do empathise with people who are unemployed, financially struggling and are facing detrimental mental health issues. I am so sorry for the people who have lost thousands, their businesses and homes. I am so sorry to those who, because of the lockdowns, feel like they have lost everything and struggle to remain hopeful for the future. I really am sorry. And I guarantee that most people are sorry. I have cried for hours because of Australia’s economy and what it means for Australian citizens and how life will be different. It is scary and lockdowns predominantly have a negative impact on businesses and especially the small businesses.

It’s true, the Australian government is no longer releasing data or statistics on the suicide rate which continues to grow. Psychologists are booked out for months and people are struggling to get medical help. To the people who protested because they lost a loved one or they themselves have struggled, I am sorry. And I hear you.

I have been trying to understand every reason that people went out to protest. I genuinely wish that every single person, whether you support the lockdowns or are against it, try to gain as much knowledge as you can about both sides or both perspectives of the argument. I said not long ago that if the Australian state government put us in lockdown that people would be out protesting, maybe even riots. I was somewhat right. I can understand why some people protested and I can sympathise with you.

However, I am not happy. To the people fighting for Australia’s freedom, to “free the people”, I have a question for you, why did you not want to wear masks or try to socially distance yourselves from eachother? Okay. Let’s pretend that a few of you have Covid and spread it to other people. I know that some people who attended the protest would not get tested, would not follow the guidelines and would spread it to other people without remorse. You throw stats at us regarding the death rate and whatnot, I hear you. But what about all the people who are imunocompromised? What about the thousands of people in hospital who are sick? What about the millions of elderly people who have weaker immune systems? The people in nursing homes? I have heard some of you say “well they’re old anyway”. These people have contributed to making Australia the country it is today. They have created jobs, businesses and things that we don’t imagine living without. Even if you don’t agree with wearing masks and social distancing guidelines can’t you see how the rest of Australia would take you more seriously, sympathise with you, if you acknowledge that you care about others. Because from the perspective of those who are angry, furious at you for protesting, your actions just look selfish and ignorant.

Now I have been yelled at for wearing a mask, I have been spat at by a woman for wearing a mask. I was at work, keeping to myself, working in retail. If people chose to wear a mask to stop the spread of a virus that shows respect for others. If you didn’t wear a mask and spread Covid to others, possibly resulting with them dying, would you not feel guilty? If it was your mother, your father? Sibling? Children? Friend? Would you not feel bad if they died of Covid and it was because you didn’t want to wear a mask. It’s not hard to do the right thing. You can socially distance yourselves from others and maintain good hygiene standards. While this might be “inconvenient” to you, all I have to say is get over it. It’s a slap in the face to all health care workers, to people who have lost their loved ones from Covid simply because it’s “inconvenient” to you and because you don’t care.

Now I completely understand that the lockdowns can benefit those 1%, the rich, the upper class. I understand that people with privilege don’t care if we go into a lockdown. I know that people treat lockdowns like a holiday while others are fighting to live. To those who are oblivious to the destruction that lockdown has caused some individuals, families and businesses, wake up. Some people are struggling, losing their homes, aren’t eligible for government support and are trying to make ends meet.

Whilst the government is certainly part of the blame for Covid outbreaks and lockdowns, you, Australians could have done better too. Now I’m not perfect either but to all Australians I ask you, please support Australian businesses. The world has supporting these “I want” buying behaviours and will purchase things just because they “want” them rather than having an actual “need” for them. Stop buying from these e-commerce giants, or at least try to reduce your spending with them. Amazon are known to exploit their workers and please if you don’t even know this just Google “reasons not to shop at Amazon”. Small businesses could have done better throughout the lockdowns, survived perhaps, if people supported small businesses rather than these big multinational corporations. If everyone bought local, supported local jobs, we would have done better. So yes, we are somewhat to blame. And rather than trying to argue that or find reasons to put the blame elsewhere. It’s true. Australians should have bought and continue to buy from Australia.

Don’t get me wrong, I am angry at the government too and especially for their lack of empathy and accountability. I am sorry that they are not being the leaders we need. They are not representing us or looking after our best interests. It is hard to find a solution that suits everyone, I get that. But the middle and lower socioeconomic classes are struggling and it’s almost as if some of these politicians are turning a blind eye. So again, to those people at the protests, if you wanted change from our leaders and the government you failed to try and win over those angry at you. In my opinion, you fighting for “freedom” were not fighting for the freedom of ALL Australians, primarily just yourselves. If you acknowledged the seriousness of Covid and how people end up in intense care and thousands dying around the globe, that this virus is real and deadly especially to those who are imunocompromised, maybe, you would have been heard properly. If you fight for all Australians and want to protect all Australians and protested with these simple safety measures, perhaps you would have been heard by everyone.

For now, I do hear you, but I will not support your cause, for you do not truly understand what freedom looks like for all Australians. I genuinely don’t like talking about political issues but if anyone made it to the end the main message I want to send is: even if you are so set in your ways, in your beliefs, always be open to listening and try to understand everything you can about the other side, those who might not agree with you. Because without all the information you can possibly get, you will never find the best outcome for everyone.

[why-i-love-comics]

Why are there no new comics today?

so obviously there’s a lot going on in the world right now, and the comic industry is not immune to that, because of the virus Diamond (the company that handles pretty much all distribution of comics to local comic shops) has stopped their distribution for the foreseeable future, obviously this isn’t forever but there’s no timeline given as far as I could find. Marvel and DC are also delaying their digital released this Wednesday (I’ve seen people say they’re delaying weeks past this but I could only find statements about the 4/1/2020, if someone has sources about later weeks please let me know)

I know times are tight for a lot of people out there but this is going to hit local comic shops very hard, especially if Marvel or DC do decide to go ahead with digital distribution in the future, LCS have always been pretty fragile and not huge money makes even when times are good, if you want to support your LCS now is a great time, many are closed but I know quite a few opening back up for curb-side service, if there’s a back issue or trade you’ve been holding off on now would be a great time to pick it up (especially now that you don’t have the excuse of not having the free time to read it haha) I’m sure it would really help them out

I’m going to put Diamond’s statement under the cut because it is rather long but it has some good information to anyone interested in the situation, also I know the timing is a little unfortunate but please know none of this is an april fools joke

Steve Geppi Addresses Coronavirus’ Effect on Distribution

A Message from Steve Geppi, Chairman & CEO, Geppi Family Enterprises Founder, Diamond Comic Distributors

CORONAVIRUS EFFECTS ON DISTRIBUTION

As everyone knows, the world faces ever-increasing challenges related to the COVID-19 pandemic. Its effects on the comics & collectibles and tabletop gaming industries have been felt far and wide. We are hearing from thousands of retailers that they can no longer service their customers as they have in the past, many of them forced to close by government action or resort to in-person or curbside delivery. Even those still open are seeing reduced foot traffic in most cases, a situation that seems likely to worsen with time.

Our publishing partners are also faced with numerous issues in their supply chain, working with creators, printers, and increasing uncertainty when it comes to the production and delivery of products for us to distribute. Our freight networks are feeling the strain and are already experiencing delays, while our distribution centers in New York, California, and Pennsylvania were all closed late last week. Our own home office in Maryland instituted a work from home policy, and experts say that we can expect further closures. Therefore, my only logical conclusion is to cease the distribution of new weekly product until there is greater clarity on the progress made toward stemming the spread of this disease.

EFFECTS ON DIAMOND COMIC DISTRIBUTORS

Product distributed by Diamond and slated for an on-sale date of April 1st or later will not be shipped to retailers until further notice. For the time being, however, we have been able to develop procedures with our teams at the distribution center in Olive Branch, MS to safely continue fulfillment of direct ship reorders for the retailers who are able to receive new product and need it to service their customers. It’s unlikely that orders will be filled on the same day they are placed, and these plans are subject to change if any point we no longer feel that we can safeguard our teams while fulfilling orders.

Product distributed by Diamond UK and slated for an on-sale date of March 25th or later will not be shipped to retailers until further notice. Further updates with regard to reorders and other Diamond UK-specific information will be communicated directly to their customers as information becomes available.

EFFECTS ON ALLIANCE GAME DISTRIBUTORS

Product distributed by Alliance has been shipping from our Fort Wayne, IN and Austin, TX warehouses. Both are closing at the end of the day on Tuesday, March 24th, in the interest of employee safety and to comply with direction from local governments. Any orders not shipped by that time will not be processed until further notice. Your dedicated sales team will still be working remotely and help you with any orders you’d like to place today or questions you may have.

OUR SHARED PATH FORWARD

With these changes in our distribution strategy, we will work with our publishing partners to develop programs that will address product already in the pipeline and what will happen when we resume distribution. We know that during this time you will face many challenges, and we will direct our energies toward addressing them, rather than fighting on increasingly numerous fronts to get product out.

For those retailers who remain open in various forms, I encourage you let loose your own creativity. For the time being, you will be able to replenish your perennials from Diamond and/or Alliance, but you should also remember the stock you already have in your stores. If your doors remain open, it’s likely you will have customers who will continue to seek diversion from events of the world. Special sales, promotions, and even eBay can help you bring in cash during this trying time. Product for which you’ve already paid may well hold some of your answers. There have been many solid suggestions offered about how to help our retailers, and we will bring many of them together in future communications.

Besides the industry’s most immediate needs, we have been and will continue looking toward the future, when we see stores reopening, bringing staff back onboard, and getting customers in the door. We are looking at issues like debt accrued due to this crisis, what reduced ordering means for your discount tiers, and the availability of credit to help stores through and after this difficult time. We don’t have all those answers today, but we understand the many issues you are facing and look forward to addressing them as partners who all have an interest in the long-term health of the industry we love so much.

As I mentioned in my last update, this industry has been one of the greatest joys of my life, from my days as a collector to a retailer to today. I and my Leadership Team have made these decisions knowing full-well the effect this will have on all of you, as well as our publishing partners and our own team members around the world. At the end of the day, the safety and security of our teams and yours, along with the many customers we all serve, is paramount. I again thank you for your ongoing patience and support.

Thank You,

Steve Geppi Chairman & CEO, Geppi Family Enterprises

[lostmoonbunny]

Greetings from a Panini World

Yes, I did call this a "panini". I'm hesitant to use the word "pandemic" as I feel many of us have a knee jerk reaction to hide from everything once hearing or seeing that word. However that's the current stat of events. The year? 2021 Where I am located its very much so post quarantine and society has attempted to "return to normal" but its impossible. Between the anti- maskers, anti-vaxxers, and everything else it truly is impossible. "What do you mean?" you ask, well allow me to take you on a journey of a human that has gone through this "history in the making" and share what its been like since January 2020 to September 2021 from the eyes of someone that lived it. -I will preface this with saying, there will be gaps, I have trouble with object permanence, concept of time, and I have memory issues due to past concussions so bear with me as we stumble through the memories of my experiences.

So here we go... Let's travel back to January 2020.

2020..Ahhh the big year of "Clear vision".. HA! No, not today. What I remember was being concerned about this horrible virus but didn't think it would make its way to where I lived.. ( I would be unsurprisingly corrected shortly after this.) I worked, had my birthday, and it was quickly February. The virus was quickly spreading and making its way downtown walking fast faces past.. oops..sorry I got sidetracked, it was making its way down throughout the nation. We celebrated my partner's birthday, and soon after the month was over. February always flies by. March...ahh March, this is where everything started changing for me. Many states were shutting down around us fairly quickly too. ( I have opinions about how the US should've shut down sooner, but we're not here for politics...but yes it should've happened sooner.) My partner, younger brother and I made a last minute trip to the next state for a day trip. Which was fun don't get me wrong but the places we went to shut down for the state's quarantine the next day. My state would follow barely a week later. I was furloughed. That..that was an experience. All of us received the same message as it was a group message. It stated that we were all effectively unemployed ( so we could apply for benefits if we chose to) and that if and when we reopen that they hoped we could come back. I immediately messaged my boss and the boss that messaged us all and double checked learning that I was on the "short list" for rehires. That made me fee a bit better but I was still sad. My partner was considered "an Essential worker" so they worked through the entire lockdown. I swear Animal Crossing New Horizons is one of the only things that got me through that.. from this all the days blended together till June. Not don't get me wrong, plenty of things happened on a personal growth side that was beneficial like I started going to therapy, got even closer to my cousin that lives on the west coast, I played with my cats and dogs more, I caught up on sleep, all sorts of things but the way it had to happen sucked. Also in this time period, my favorite uncle contracts the virus and is put in the ICU on a ventilator. I don't remember how long he was in there but he made it. He is now healthy and survived the virus. So lets fast forward to June. My place of work reopened under specific guidelines. Now I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but I live in the southeast. The southeast, in summer is AWFUL. Its hot, its humid, and then if it DOES rain that humidity just goes up and it gets worse. To give you an idea while the temperature might say its 84 degrees F but the real feel might be 95F. I don't know why they don't just say 95F but that's how it is the southeast... So imagine if you will mid June, being reopened with special rules, masks required for everyone 5 years old and older, and no buildings but restrooms open to the public. The amount of rude, hateful, uncaring people almost made me lose my complete faith in humanity, and its not very high to begin with. Also for context, I work in retail. I feel that says enough there. These rules extend till the end of the year and into part of 2021. While all of this is happening the US is having their presidential elections and everyone has crawled out of the woodwork that you had hoped would stay there. At this point I'm hoping for the best because we really need a paradigm shift in society. We need to truly need to change as a society and in many way, catch up to the rest of the world. I finally gave in a got to tiktok and realize that it is very much a time devourer. I've realized that I feel as if the term "Cassflux" fits how I feel about my gender best, and fully accepted my journey on the path of being a witch.

Lets move in to October, October I ( and my partner) travel to Texas (cautiously) for my cousin's socially distant wedding and our anniversary. That was amazing and the slight escape from reality was truly needed. On our way back we made a stop in NOLA and it was a fun visit, but I realized my baby witch self hadn't veiled or warded myself nearly enough and it got all of "spidey senses" all out of wack. knowing now what I should've done, I do want to go back. The rest of the year went by both incredibly slow and yet in a flash. The US elected a new president, I was working as hard a possible to avoid the virus as much as possible and my partner had gotten a new job with a different company that was making them more happy. So this brings us to 2021. This is the year that I feel that I am truly coming into my own despite living in the middle of a global Panda Express. January brings my turning a landmark age and celebrating it with a new hair style, new outlook on life, progress made in therapy, more self acceptance, and just overall more happiness. The world is still the same, better, but also worse. The vaccine is being produced, distributed, and made accessible. February brings another birthday with my partner's birthday. March rolls around and we jokingly celebrate our work's closing a year prior and then continue to work. The vaccine is made available to retail and food workers so I go and get the first round of the "Dolly Parton" vaccine with my co workers. (If you were wondering its Moderna) We go and receive the second dose later at the correct time. April and May kind of blend together for me because that the ramp up for the busy season at work. June & July are busy but everything is moving forwards. I finally take a step more into the current era of technology and upgrade my phone and computer. ( After several years of going back and forth of not wanting current gen tech or not, because that stuff be expensive!) I reconnect with an old friend and we have a much healthier friendship.

August....hecking August.. We are short staffed at work, busy as heck! My partner is also hecking busy by being called in for almost every problem. The world is deffo changing. The US is in a state of nah nah a boo boo with vaccinating vs not, virus outbreaks having an uptick, universities starting back, Texas deciding that the government gets a say in a woman's reproductive rights... sorry I'll try to not get political. My ( like many others) using tiktok as a means of escape from this reality.. I'm so beyond mentally exhausted by everything that I just want to be somewhere that I can breathe a bit more easy... Its deffo not the southeastern US. September: I. am. exhausted. Working a bunch. Dealing with people doubting the virus, the usual Karens and Richards, counting down my days to vacation. My partner is beyond exhaustion. They've worked more in the past six weeks that they have in two years. The 20th year of 9/11 comes and goes. Not to sound like a country song, but remembering where I was at the moment the planes hit is something that has stuck with me...despite my concussions. I was in my English class and its was between classes and they had the tvs on. So many parents were coming and calling their kids out the school got to the point they weren't going to let kids leave.. ( if the parents complained enough they did.. I was a poorer kid in a more affluent school) My parents weren't going to take me out of school so I finished the day out in a state of confusion, not understanding the gravitas of what was going on, and not understanding was the emotions I was feeling watching the crashes were. I don't claim to even comprehend the emotions of this date to people who lost loved ones in the crashes, or in the oncoming days of the country going to war, I just know how it felt as a child to see something so major happening. I feel its like the kids now living through this panic at the disco. [[If you read this and you lost someone due to either of these horrific events please know that I in no way am invalidating or belittling your feelings or experiences. I merely am trying to describe all of how I feel throughout 2020- roughly current day 2021 and these are the things I was thinking and feeling on this particular day.]]

The days start to blend again as I attempt to countdown the days till my short vacation. Once that starts I get to finally relax as does my partner. The amount of sleep my partner has gotten is incredible and they deserve it dang it! This brings us to today, The last day of September 2021. This are changing at work and I'm not wholly sure of how I feel but I know it will be an interesting discussion for me to have with my therapist coming up. That's all I've got for now.. Hopefully I'll pop back in sooner to give more perspective on what its like living through all of this chaos. Just keep moving forward.

[mypuddinghasasecret]

[Page 1 front]

                                From the Desk of Erin O'Toole

My Name                                                                  August 20, 2021 My Address City Province Postal Code

Dear My Name,

      What happens now...?

      More than anything else, that's the question Canadians ask me when I speak with them about the future.

      Most Canadians - including me - supported spending money during the pandemic to help those hardest hit and prevent a total collapse of our economy.

      You probably did, too, right?

      But no one told Justin Trudeau's Liberals - and their allies in the NDP and Green Party - planned for that spending to go on FOREVER...

      ... and no one told you that, even after the worst of COVID-19 was behind us, the Liberals, NDP, and Greens planned to exploit the pandemic for risky economic experiments...

      ... and no one told you that, instead of focusing on a recovery that works for all Canadians, the Liberals, NDP and Greens would mortgage your financial future to finance a big-spending wish-list, dreamt up behind closed doors.

      My Name, they didn't tell you any of that.

      Did they?

      Let's face it... The Liberals, NDP and Greens never told the truth about their big-spending agenda for a post-COVID Canada.

      And when you cast your ballot, you'll have a chance to let them know what you think about them breaking your trust.

[Page 1 back]

      But, in the meantime, I'm writing because I want to be straight with you about Canada's Recovery Plan.

      You may be familiar with some aspects of Canada's Recovery Plan. I sent you a letter just like this one a few weeks back to tell you about it.

      It's the Conservative Party's detailed plan to put our country on the path to fiscal stability by focusing on the jobs, wages, and Securing the Future for all Canadians. And it's designed to help you right now.

      Of course, you likely have questions about how Canada's Recovery Plan will work - and what it means for you...

      That's why, shortly, I'll share with you the specific details about the plan and about how Conservatives will continue to support those hardest hit by the pandemic while returning to a balanced budget over the long term.

      But first, I think it's important I tell you what I believe this election is all about --- and why I'm so determined to earn your support for Canada's Recovery Plan...

      This election is about the economy. And it all boils down to a single choice that YOU must make. You have only two options:

              1) Make our pandemic-era spending - and all the debt and deficits that                    come with it - permannent.That's what you'll get with the Trudeau                          Liberals, NDP, and Greens who have NO PLAN to control public                          spending and NO PLAN to create new jobs.

                  Or...

              2) A plan to create jobs, Secure the Future, and return to balanced                            budgets with a careful, cautious, long-term approach. That's what                        you'll get with a new Conservative Government, focused on                                  implementing Canada's Recovery Plan.

      My friend, I hope you will agree with me when I say that, at this crucial time, Canada can't afford four more years of a Prime Minister who lacks the sense of responsibility, long-term vision, and economic competence required to steer our recovery.

      And we can't afford to send more NDP and Green MPs - who do whatever Justin Trudeau wants - to Parliament!

[Page 2 front]

      Here's a startling statistic.

      According to Bloomberg News, very soon Justin Trudeau will probably have accumulated more debt than all 22 Prime Ministers who came before him COMBINED.

      If we don't change now, I'm afraid Canada will never recover and, for too many, our dreams of "back to normal" will never be realized. But it gets worse...

      Without a plan to Secure the Future, I'm afraid our children and grandchildren will be members of the first generation in our history to inherit a Canada that's weaker, more unstable, and with less opportunity than the one you grew up in.

That's why I say this election is about the economy,

That's why now, more than ever, I believe Canada needs a new government with a plan to Secure the Future, and

That's why I truly believe our country needs you to support Canada's Recovery Plan in this crucial election.

      Canada's Recovery Plan will:

Recover the 1 million jobs lost during the pandemic in one year by overhauling our tax system, reducing red tape, building infrastructure, helping companies expand exports, encouraging the safe development of our resources, and much more!

Balance the budget over the next decade by growing our tax base through more jobs and higher wages. Canada's Conservatives will carefully and responsibly phase out emergency spending - and we won't cut transfers to the provinces, like the Liberals did the last time they were faced with a large deficit!

In fact, under Canada's Recovery Plan, almost 90% of the federal budget deficit will be erased by repairing the economy.

Create opportunity for all sectors of the economy including in the industries Justin Trudeau left

[Page 2 back]

behind, like energy, forestry, mining, fishing, and manufacturing.

Support small businesses by incentivizing Canadians to invest in new businesses, providing loans to small businesses in the tourism, hospitality, and retail sectors, and making it easier to start a business in Canada.

      My friend, the ideas I've presented you with today are just a small sampling of what's included in Canada's Recovery Plan, which you can find online at wwww.conservative.ca.

      If you agree it's time for a new government that will focus on jobs, wages and helping Canadians right now, then I urge you to vote for Canada's Recovery Plan by casting your ballot for your local Conservative Candidate.

      Thank you. Let's get Canada back on track. Please keep an eye out for my next letter. I'll be getting in touch with you again soon.

                                                                                               Sincerely,

                                                                                           Erin O'Toole

                                                                                             Erin O'Toole,                                                              Leader of Canada's Conservatives &                                                                Author of Canada's Recovery Plan

P.S. This election is about our economy. The Liberals, NDP, and Greens want this election to be about anything else because they have NO PLAN for our recovery and NO PLAN to responsibly reduce public spending after the crisis.

That's why they're using harmful, American-style politics, built around divisive and long-settled social issues to distract from their economic failures. It's a disservice to millions of Canadians who want a fair, open, honest debate about how we're going to rebuild our economy and Secure the Future.

The Liberals, NDP, and Greens may want me to stop talking about the economy, but I refuse. You deserve no less.

If you agree with me when I say the single most important issue in this election is the economy, then I urge you to take a close look at Canada's Recovery Plan.

                Authorized and paid for by Conservative Fund Canada,                 Chief Agent of the Conservative Party of Canada.