#@ anyone looking in the fridge we are out of cheese because I used it all right here

[firstelevens]

4 for the minific ask?

Thank you so much for this prompt, which was going to be something completely different until pictures from the Golden Globes started rolling out and fully rerouted all trains of thought.

4. things you said over the phone

Usually, when Bucky calls Sam, he can expect some sort of affectionate greeting on the other end of the line. It's a fond joke about fossils using phones, or a knowing what did you forget? when Bucky breezes out of the house on an errand, or an absentminded hi, baby when Sam is distracted with work.

Today, it's none of those things: just a slow, wary, "Why are you calling me right now?"

And Bucky isn't proud of it, exactly, but he's already in a high-anxiety situation, and he's so ready to hear one of Sam's usual greetings that when he doesn't, he's immediately on the defensive.

"Why do you have your phone on you if you don't want to be called, Wilson?"

He can almost picture Sam in his suit, crossing his arms as he says, unimpressed, "It's for emergencies, Barnes."

"How do you know I--"

"If it was an emergency, you'd just press the panic button," says Sam. "But whatever this is, it better be important."

Bucky can't frustratedly run a hand through his hair, so he just has to wring his hands instead. "Of course it's important, Sam. I don't have time to be fucking around today; I kind of have somewhere to be."

It's quiet on the other end of the line before Sam blows out a long, slow breath. He sounds as exhausted as Bucky feels, and in an instant that anxious irritation is replaced by the desire to just be there beside him, but they can't do that right now.

"I'm sorry," Bucky says softly. "I shouldn't have- sorry."

"It's okay," says Sam, and that's as much absolution as Bucky would've thought he should expect, especially today. It feels like a goddamn miracle that Sam goes on to say, "You didn't sleep either, huh?"

"I think I might've caught twenty minutes or so somewhere in there," says Bucky. "You?"

"Half an hour a little after three, and then..."

"And then your body woke you up to go on a run."

"You did always say that would come back to bite me," says Sam, laughing a little.

Bucky smiles to himself. "Don't read into it or anything, but I'm pretty sure I'd give up being right if it meant you could get some rest once in a while."

"Too late," says Sam, and Bucky can hear his smile now. "I'm reading into it."

"Typical," says Bucky, shaking his head. Then, looking at the clock on the nightstand. "Shit, okay, I need to leave now, basically. Bye, Sammy; I'll see--"

"Wait!" says Sam, cutting him off. "What did you call about? What's the important thing?"

Bucky's eyes go wide. "Oh, fuck."

"I can't right now, but how about a rain check?"

"We don't have time for your bad pickup lines, Wilson," says Bucky. "I lost the fucking box; I can't find it anywhere and I can't leave without it."

"You didn't lose it."

"Yeah, I did. It's not where it's supposed to be."

"You didn't lose it," repeats Sam, sounding amused now. "It's in the bottom drawer of the nightstand."

"No it's not," says Bucky. "I already checked there."

"Not your nightstand, mine."

"Sam, the bottom drawer of your nightstand is the one that's got the--"

"The spare bottles of lube, yeah."

"Why would it be in the drawer with the spare bottles of lube?"

Sam laughs. "Something about seeing it often enough that we would instinctively know where it was."

It is, Bucky hates to admit, the kind of bizarre logic that tends to fit into lives as hectic as theirs. When he opens the drawer, the box is exactly where Sam said it would be and Bucky can't stop himself from sighing. "Why would we do this? This is the stupidest possible place to put something important."

"Yeah," agrees Sam, "but now you're never, ever going to forget about it."

Bucky groans. "I hate that that's true."

"I'll make fun of you for it later," says Sam. "You're going to be late, remember."

"Shit," says Bucky, startling and almost dropping the box. "Right. Okay, I'm leaving."

"It's about time," says Sam. "Can't believe you'd waste time talking to your boyfriend on a day this important."

"He's not my boyfriend, he's my fiancé," says Bucky, glancing at the mirror as he adjusts his tie.

"Won't be that for much longer, either, unless you take another ten years to get downstairs already."

"I said I was leaving!" says Bucky. "You're the one who's distracting me!"

"Fine," says Sam. "I'm hanging up. I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," says Bucky, trying and failing to stop the grin on his face. "I'll be the one with the rings."

Sam laughs and Bucky feels the tension of the morning and the sleepless night begin to ebb away.

"I'll be the one at the end of the aisle."

[mywritersmind]

SAVIOR - LN4

pt.2

summary : Y/n’s favorite place has quickly become her and Lando’s shared hallway. They grow closer and finally make it to the fresh air.

OG SUMMARY (When y/n’s absent neighbor shows up, causing her great annoyance with smoke and repetitive beeping, she marches over to tell the man off but is met with a handsome face and strong hands that are in distress.)

listen up : no warnings!! y/n is clueless abt f1. lando is silly. i’m craving strawberries now.

word count : 1878

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I haul my five grocery bags into the elevator, struggling to keep them all off the ground. I sigh when I finally still in the metal box, i’ve carried these at least two blocks and one had broken on the way.

The doors are about to close but a hand slides in between them, making them automatically open for him.

Hello my hot mysterious neighbor.

He looks relieved he made it, “Y/n!” He says cheerfully, like we’ve known each other for ages. It’s been a couple weeks since I slammed on his door and stomped through his kitchen.

The other side of the hallway had been quiet until last night when I heard keys rattling and the door opening. I can’t help but wonder what he does that keeps him from home so often.

“Lando, Hi!” I smile back as he slides beside me and presses our floor.

“You need help?” He eyes the bags as I bite my lip, not wanting to bother him. I don’t have the time to respond because he takes three bags out of my hands like it’s nothing.

“Thank you.” I sigh, “I’ve been struggling for like two blocks.” He laughs a bit with me as the numbers get higher and higher.

“I’m happy to help.” We finally reach our floor, Lando watches me go first and walk to my door, unlocking it and walking in.

Lando follows hesitantly, like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed.

“Thank you again! I put myself in a bit of a bind when I decided that my friends need fifteen types of salami and cheese.” I place the bags on the counter, Lando following.

I push back my hair and suddenly wish I had cleaned up a bit more. My friends are coming over tonight and I had decided to push back my cleaning. Looking around at the clothes and old popcorn bowls scattered around makes me want to slap myself.

“Really, I like to lend a hand! I never get to be neighborly.” He shrugs.

“What do you do for work? If you don’t mind me asking?” I start placing the cold items in the freezer.

He leans against the counter, his arms holding him up and looking alarmingly fit, “Uh… You ever follow Formula 1?”

I nod, “Kinda? I used to love it!” My mom and I would watch every sunday but I stopped in college so I don’t know any of the current grid, “So you work in the sport! That’s cool, pretty hands on?” I ask as he laughs a bit, looking awkward.

“Yeah, I work with the cars.” He looks around my place a bit, “So, why does one need this much food? I’m judging or anything it’s just… You don’t seem like the type to need a jumbo sized pretzel bag.”

I smile and snatch the bag from him, “I could definitely eat all of this by the way! But I'm having a bit of a party tonight. If anything’s too loud just let me know! It’s just old friends from college- actually.” I look up at him, a boost of confidence appearing in me, “You could join us. If you’re not busy.”

It suddenly sounds like a ridiculously stupid idea. I turn back to the fridge, placing a bottle of lemonade in it and cringing.

“I would love to.” I let out a sigh of relief, “But I've got plans…” I frown and turn back to him, finally putting away the last of my groceries.

“Aw.”

“It’s really nice of you to invite me.” I smile, a bit sad and confused why I'm disappointed. I mean I barely know the man. “What do you do for work?”

I lean against the counter so I'm across from him, “I’m a writer. Journalism right now but I really want to take a more bookish route…”

He genuinely looks so intrigued, more interested than anyone else who I've told I write articles about neighborhood drama.

He checks his watch, which I'm now realizing is incredibly expensive, and swears, “I gotta go. Have fun with your party tonight.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I definitely do have fun. My friends and I eat, drink, and play board games just like we’re back in dorms. I’m seeing my last and closest friend off when Lando comes up the hallway, As my friend's eyes go wide when she sees him, I shake my head.

“Goodbye!” I push her out of my apartment, “Love you!”

“Yeah love you too! Text me!” She walks past Lando, nodding at him before she turns behind his back and mouths ‘he’s hot’.

I roll my eyes at her, a smile still on my face as Lando looks at me. He’s in a full suit, holding his blazer in his hand.

“Fun time then?” God he’s hot!

“Absolutely!” I giggle, a bit tipsy, “How about you then?” I eye his suit.

“As good as I could make it.”

I slap my hand over my mouth, “God you aren’t coming from a funeral then, are you?”

He laughs at this, “No! No. A work banquet thing.”

I giggle a bit as he turns to his door, “Hey!” I say without thinking, “Would you want to come in? I have wine.”

He’s sitting on my couch thirty minutes later, a glass deep and talking about where he’s traveled too.

“That’s my dream!” I say, my feet tucked under myself as I tilt my head on the couch cushions, “Traveling. I mean- You’ve been everywhere!”

He shrugs, sipping his wine, his tie undone and shoes off, “It’s amazing but I'm not there for long so I don’t usually get to sightsee much. Honestly the most interesting thing that’s happened to me recently is this pretty girl came to save my baking disaster.”

I hum to his words, blushing a bit, “Sounds like a hero if i’ve ever heard one.” We both go silent, taking pieces of my leftover charcuterie board. “Should I start watching F1?”

“No!” He says it so quick that i’m taken aback.

“No?”

He laughs a bit, shaking it off, “It’s boring. I can’t have someone else in my life talk about it.”

I spin my wine around in the glass, “So I'm someone in your life now?”

He smirks, “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

I pretend to contemplate this, “I’ve never had a friend who hasn’t gone to the strawberry market with me.”

He makes an odd face, “So we must go then.”

I sigh, “If you want to be my friend…”

The corner of his mouth pulls, “Tomorrow at 9?”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

He’s at my door at 9:12. Thank god he’s late because I hop over to the door, pulling on my shoe and pulling down my jean skirt.

I open the door and stand up straight, smiling breathlessly. He, of course, looks perfect in jeans and an olive green shirt, “Morning.”

“Ready to taste the best strawberries you’ve ever had?” I grab my bag and keys.

“So ready.”

We make it to the market just on time. It’s my favorite neighborhood gem. Every Sunday people gather with strawberries. There are big and small, some covered in chocolate and some in honey.

I buy a box of chocolate ones, well Lando does. He insists that he still owes me. Handing one to Lando with an extra fork, he bites into it, his eyes roll, “Fucking hell.” I nod, excited that he likes them as much as I do.

“My favorite treat! Something you can’t burn your house down with.” I eye him and he eyes me right back. Being with Lando is like a breath of fresh air. I’ve never been so confident in my social skills.

He laughs with a shop owner as he buys his pack of plain strawberries. He's so nice and just listens politely as the woman goes on and on about her childhood on a strawberry farm.

He gives her a bigger bill than necessary and as she insists it’s too much, he just shakes his head and continues walking.

We settle at a park bench nearby, tasting all the pieces we’ve bought, “This is genuinely phenomenal.” He says while eating another, “How’d you find this place?”

“Had to write about something local and had total writers block… I was walking around one day and just sort of stumbled upon it.”

He smiles, I really like this smile. “You seem like the type to just stumble upon a strawberry market.”

I laugh, covering my mouth, “What does that even mean?”

“You’re just so…” His hands make these weird gestures, his fingers moving around as he laughs and gives up, “It just fits.”

I smile, meeting his eyes. They're so nice, a mix of blue and green. His gaze washes over me and I feel the need to smile even more.

“You’ve got nice eyes.” My stomach twists as he says it so calmly, “Real pretty.” I feel a blush on my cheeks and I turn away from him, looking at the park near us and being startled by the child looking up at us.

Lando follows my gaze, mumbling softly, “Shit.”

“Hi.” The kid says awestruck, I look to Lando who’s smiling and sitting up straighter. “Um- Are you Lando Norris?”

Lando scratches the back of his neck, “Yeah I am! What's your name?”

“W-William!” He says, swallowing and pulling a pen from behind his back, “Could you sign this?” I glance to what looks like his mother, she’s watching him with a smile.

Lando simply nods and takes the cap from his head, its bright orange. He signs his name and messes up the kid's hair, “Thanks a lot! My friends’ll never believe it!” The boy squeals and runs back to his mom who waves slightly and takes the boy's hand.

I raise a brow at Lando, still confused, “I’m sorry…” He looks embarrassed but I don’t even know what for.

“I’m going to assume you didn’t tell me the whole truth in what your job is?”

His cheeks get a bit red, “I do work with the cars… Just really close. Like I’m in them. One specifically.”

I nod, “Yours?”

“Mine.” He crosses his arms, his lips in a thin line, “I drive for McLaren.” I breathe out.

“Oh.” I can’t help but think I have a type because I grew up with Jenson Button posters on my wall.

He runs a hand through his curls, “I don’t usually get recognized around here- Thought we would be okay.”

“We are okay!” I reassure him, realizing he’s actually embarrassed, “That was sweet.”

He looks up hopefully, “You think? I’m sorry for lying- I just really liked that you didn’t know who I am or what I do.”

“Well, I sort of still don't. I know your full name now, that’s about it.” He smiles at this, I bite into another strawberry.

“Do you want to go out with me?”

He is yet to say something I'm not shocked at.

“Yeah.” I nod, smiling at him as he grins, “I’d really like that. Don’t you have to race soon though…? Singapore, isn’t it?”

The smirk that pulls at his lips is just plain mischievous, “I never said the date would be here.”

[keen-li]

CLAWED | JJK | CH 01

Synopsis: "do you honestly think I want your help? I'm desperate " you can still see the hatred he has for you in his eyes, but you can also see the desperation.

Genre: e2l, angst, fluff, smut-ish. Convict jk x police officer reader

Fem reader x jk

Warnings: none for now.

_______________________

You’ve just gotten home from a long day of working your ass off. You’re drenched from the rain that’s pouring outside. The walk from your car to your front door isn’t long but the heavy rains are strong enough to have you drenched in seconds.

Immediately you close the door you take off your now wet clothes. You live alone who's gonna see you, even if someone did see you lucky them cause you rarely take off your clothes for anyone. You don't have time for taking your clothes off for someone cause you're focused on stabilizing your position at the station.

Because you're new you have to be on your best game and show them you deserve to be there. You use the word 'new' lightly. And also because you're new the officers at the station have been giving it to you hard. Every time you make a wrong move you hear the words 'rookie behavior' it honestly infuriates you. You don't know if the phrase has always been there or they created it just for you.

But you don't let their side comments, mumbles and they're mocking laughter stop you or slow you down. It's enough that it's a male dominated Workspace. You're new and also a woman so you don't want them to see your emotional side and create a new trend of phrases like, "it's probably her hormones" or "looks like someone's on their period."

You walk into your kitchen with your phone in your hands, checking the messages your mother sent you cause you didn't have time to look at them, while you use the towel in your other hand to dry your wet hair. You're rocking your baggy t-shirt and shorts that you wear in full confidence feeling refreshed and relaxed from your hot shower.

You place the now dump Tower on the kitchen counter as you rummage through the fridge. You never had time to cook whole meals since your job had all your attention. It's funny how you neglected yourself for this job, you've barely seen your friends or family after getting this job you didn't even go out or even relax. Unless you were sleeping waiting for the sun to rise so you can consume yourself with work all over again. It's a cycle you've started to grow into.

You pull a chicken and mac and cheese out of the fridge, a leftover from yesterday. You sniff it just in case bacteria got there before you.

"Seems fine" you say placing it in the microwave for 3 minutes. This has been your dinner for over the past few days. You order food, you aren't able to finish it that same day and leave it for the next day.

"Y/n, how have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while." Your mother texts.

"I know you're probably busy with your new job, but don't forget about us my dear. We love and miss you so much." She ends.

You almost tear up because they think you've forgotten about them. Your sigh collecting yourself to respond.

" I haven't forgotten about you guys. I actually miss you so much and i hope one day I get the time to come over and visit you."

You leave the text not expecting a response from her at this late hour.

You linger over the picture on your mother's contact a picture of your father and mother and a seven-year-old you squished in between them. You've really grown from the young girl you were who truly believed she would be a princess when she grows up.

The day you were told you weren't going to be a princess when you grow up you cried uncontrollably. Only stopping when your Dad took you for ice cream and reassured you that even if you weren't gonna be a real princess you'd always be his princess, to a younger you those words never carried much weight but now that your older and more wiser, atleast you think, those words mean the world to you.

The sound of the microwave beeping indicating your food was done snaps you out of your thoughts and brings you to your reality. You take the hot plate out, take a fork and grab an energy drink from the fridge and head to your empty and lonely couch and put on a show you haven't been able to finish in a while.

You sink into the couch with your plate on your lap and the energy drink on the small table in front of you.

You're half way through the show, your plate cleared and placed on the table and only droplets left of the energy drink, you've been surviving on caffeine for you don't know how long, you savour the last droplets as you also focus on your large screen.

You're suddenly and abruptly pulled from the show you're watching when you hear loud and rushed bangs on your front door. Who could be knocking at your door at this time and in this rain. The rain is just as heavy as when you arrived home.

The banging continues and even gets louder as you get up from the couch cautiously approaching the door. When you open the door you take in, with your eyes, the man drenched from the rain and covered in bruises. His hair sticks to his face and so does his shirt showing you all the heaps and dips of his torso, he seems like a well-built man. You watch him pant and catch his breath as you wait for an introduction and reason.

He finally lifts his eyes and they meet yours.

Jungkook.

" y/n I need your help can I stay here for the night?" He says rushed and breathless.

You watch the way he licks his rosy lips getting rid of the water that falls on them. His eyelashes clamp together with wetness as he blinks waiting for you to let him in.

"What are you doing here?" You ask and he sighs turning his head looking around your neighborhood as though checking if someone was watching him.

"Please let me in I'll explain when you let me in" his tone is still rushed but you aren't about to let him into your house just yet.

" and why would I do that, I don't trust you" you say as though your heart is made of stone.

"I know that, but I really need your help"

"Why would I help you, huh jungkook?" You say.

"Y/n I understand that we don't get along" he says softening his eyes pleading.

"do you honestly think I want your help? I'm desperate " you can still see the hatred he has for you in his eyes, but you can also see the desperation.

_______________

Next

[bunji-enthusiast]

Y/N: *laughs* How can anyone hate the rain? Estarossa: on GOD, they tryna drown me in this ho- I CANNOT SEE-

---------------------- Merlin: Change of plans, ignore your original objective. Merlin: Merlin: Leave nothing alive. Meliodas: *The only thing they fear is you cues* ----------------------

Ban: Last warning, do not touch the... Ban: Uh oh- King: Ban, stop being sexist. Ban: IM NOT BE- ----------------------

Jericho: And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. Jericho: All he wrote on it, "Jericho's fault". Jericho: Y/N: Guila: Jericho: I'm Jericho by the way, hi! *waves to y/n* Jericho: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO HIM? ------------------------ Helbram: Murder literally doesn’t hurt anyone! Diane: What are you talking about? Of course— King , holding out a hand to shut Diane up: No, no, he has a point— ------------------------ King : Now, Lancelot, all of us are doing this because we care about you, okay? Ban: Except for me. I just wanted to see the look on your face. ---------------------- Nanashi: I don’t think our death ray is working. I’m standing right in it, and I’m not dead yet. ---------------------- Arden: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face. Denzel Liones: Denzel Liones: I like you. ---------------------- Arden: Thanks for opening my message and not responding. Waillo: All good bro, any time. Arden: Fuck you. ---------------------- Estarossa: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year. Zeldris: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues? Monspeet: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix. ---------------------- Gawain, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice Tristan Liones, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out! ---------------------- Gowther: Why are you on fire? Ban: This is just how my day is going. ---------------------- Nanashi: There was a motor close to where I am right now. Nanashi: A motor- a motorcycle? Nanashi: Oh sorry, a murder. Arthur Pendragon: That escalated quickly. ---------------------- Elizabeth Liones: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella? Zeldris: Don't ever speak to me again. ---------------------- Isolde: Why do humans have different blood groups? Lancelot: So mosquitoes can enjoy different flavors. ---------------------- Mael: You use emoji’s like a straight person. Y/N: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me. ---------------------- Galand: You wanna fight?! You got one! Meliodas: Okay! raises fists Escanor runs in, scoops Meliodas up in his arms, and runs away carrying him Galand: Galand: What? ---------------------- Zeldris: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. Fraudin: Well, on a good day, I’m both. ---------------------- Percival, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Percival, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW! ---------------------- Gawain: So Nasiens, how did your first time cooking dinner go? Nasiens: Pretty good if I do say so myself. Gawain: Oo! Okay, what are we having? Nasiens: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. Gawain: A whole potato? Nasiens: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! Gawain: These just look like big slabs of black. Nasiens: Because that's what they are! Nasiens: And then for desert, we have chocolate. Gawain: These are just chocolate chips? Nasiens: They sure are! Nasiens: And then for drinks, we have toast! Nasiens: lifts up a glass of blended toast Bon appetite! ---------------------- Howzer : dangling from a rope over a pit of fire Remember when I said I’d tell you when we’re in too deep? Gilthunder: Yes? Howzer: We’re in too deep. ---------------------- Dreyfus: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number. ---------------------- Dreyfus: I fell— Hendrickson: From heaven? Dreyfus: No, I literally fell— Hendrickson: In love with me the moment you saw me? Dreyfus: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Hendrickson: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

[resident-gay-bitch]

🏳️‍⚧️ Trans Tuesdays 🏳️‍⚧️

FtM Robin (platonic stobin + MtF Stevie + side steddie + Eddie being the definition of "guy")

It took a while to get here, but he’s here now, happy in his identity. 

Robin had no idea, for a long time, that he was a dude. It only took Stevie figuring it out about herself for things to click in place for Robin. 

Maybe it was like, destiny or some shit that they worked together that hopeless summer. Maybe they were just supposed to end up drugged out of their minds on that bathroom floor. They’re totally each other's soulmates, and now they’re even closer. 

It’s like they have shared experiences now, each living as both a dude and a chick. They just… got each other. Besides, it’s cool having a gender guru, guide you through your transition. Like, Stevie’s giving him tips on how to talk and walk like a dude, or at least how she used to in highschool, which seemed palatable enough in Hawkins. And Robin gets to teach Stevie stuff too, like the best remedies for periods (because she fucking gets those now, like, without the blood, which is wild), and how bra sizing works because that shit is actually confusing at first. 

It’s also awesome because they totally got to just swap half their wardrobes. Like, Robin had been meaning to get rid of a bunch of those dresses his mom got him for ages, and Stevie can just take them. And Robin got to raid Stevies wardrobe and feel totally euphoric trying on all her old clothes because not only did he look like a guy, he also smelt like one. 

Robin got to teach Stevie how to shave her legs properly, to get them all smooth and shit, and Stevie got to teach Robin how to get his hair sitting so fucking nice in a masculine way. Ferrah Fawcet is a lifesaver, actually. 

Everything about being trans has been awesome so far- like, apart from the fear of smalltown transphobia, but like, the feelings. It’s just been euphoria hit after euphoria hit once he finally opened up and expressed his feelings to Stevie. 

That was a really revealing conversation. And it’s been nice, getting to hide away with Stevie for a little while, figuring themselves out. 

Robin likes to bind, it looks good and feels good, but it’s kind of painful. Which is why living with Stevie feels so good, because he doesn’t have to bind around her to feel validated. He doesn’t feel the need to look or act a certain way around her to pass. 

Things changed when Eddie came over for the first time. 

It’s not like he could just say no when Stevie asked to have Eddie over. He knows they have a thing going on, and they haven’t seen eachother in two weeks, Stevies having withdrawals. It’s just… a new person. Robin hasn’t been a dude around anyone other than Stevie yet. 

He doesn’t want to be a girl again for the afternoon. 

He’s shocked when Eddie walks in, shooting finger guns at him and says, “Hey dude, nice haircut- jeez, it smells good in here, is that a cheese melt?” 

Robin ran a hand through his hair nervously, glancing over at Stevie, who just shrugged before walking over to say hi to Eddie. 

Eddie embraced her, tight, giving her a little kiss on the cheek that had her blushing before turning back to the cheese melt.

“My god, I fucking love cheese melts.” 

“You can have it.” Stevie offered. 

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, babe.” He muttered, stuffing his face full before moving to the fridge to make a replacement cheese melt, “I haven't eaten all day, and work was crazy busy today. Anyway, what are you nerds up to?”

“Just hanging out.” Stevie muttered. 

“Waiting around for me?” He grinned up at her, biting into his sandwich. 

Stevie rolled her eyes and shrugged, “We were… actually just fucking around a bit. Trying out some makeup on me… and… stuff.” 

“Oh, stuff huh?” He smirked, whacking the cheese sandwich on the press. 

“Yeah, stuff.” Stevie smiled, glancing over at Robin. 

Eddie looked over to him, “So….” He said, giving him a once over, “Is this like a lesbian phase thing, or are you a dude?” 

“Ed’s!” Stevie scolded. 

“You got a problem, Munson?” 

“Obviously not.” He scoffed, pointing a thumb over at Stevie before continuing to munch on his cheese melt, “I’m head over heels for her and you think I have a problem with transsexuals? Dude, my uncle was like, the first trans dude in Hawkins, I think.” 

“What?” Stevie and Robin both asked in sync. 

He shrugged, turning the sandwich press off before it burnt the bread, “Well, maybe not. But as far as he’s concerned, you know? Why do you think he doesn’t give a shit about me and Stevie- oh, I know how to draw beards on real good.”

“Why do you know that?” Stevie asked. 

“I wanted to look like an adult when I was ten so I could run away and get a job.” Eddie said so nonchalant, “My dad was a dick and said I couldn’t be gay and have a good future. Total arsehole. Look at me now, dad, bisexual and a full time drug dealer. Fuck. you.” 

Robin grinned, “Can you teach me the beard thing?” 

“Sure thing, man.” He smiled, cutting the fresh cheese melt up for Stevie and plating it for her, “So does this mean you’re like, straight now, or?” 

Robin froze, looking over to Stevie, who was also struck with a baffled expression as Eddie pottered around the kitchen, unbeknownst to their panic. 

“Fuck, I’m straight!” He shouted, and Stevie burst out laughing. 

Happy Spooky Month!!! sorry i didn't have anything spooky planned for this day, but this is still fun :)

[lealdern]

Can I request 2 swf with jason please?

This is so very late for halloween! My asks are open, especially to write more in established stories like ghost, vampire, eldritch, Talon (she's not ready yet) or maybe start new ones 🔞 blog

Ghost!Jason Todd x gn!reader / SFW

He was a ghost, you knew that much.

Gotham had enough ghosts that they were a whole other population in and of themselves, not that anyone else really saw them. You don’t pay them mind, you’d learned it was better to do as you did with the living of Gotham, and that was mind your own business.

But this one, this burly tank of a man was… persistent. He’d seen something in you, some micro movement or a too-long lingering glance his way and he knew instantly you could see him.

“Please.” He said with the dead (hah) air of someone who wasn’t used to saying please at all.

You ignored him and shuffled your groceries onto the counter of your small apartment.

“I know you can hear me.” He grumbles, frustrated, as he comes around your side; you turn away to slot a box of cereal into the cupboard. You’ve avoided looking at him since he caught sight of you as you’d walked past the alley he lingered in, but his voice is handsome and rumbly and you feel like his face will also be handsome, the temptation for a peek isn’t too much though.

“Listen, I’m a ghost, I can do this all day: I don’t sleep I don’t eat I could just talk and talk, I wonder how long it’ll take for you to get sick of hearing me talk? It’s not like I can run out of breath-“

“What do you want?” You seethe, slamming down a packet of fancy cheese, the kind with holes in it.

“Hey, there we go, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” He smirks and your heart skips a beat as you take in his handsome features, deep eyes with dark brows, cupids bow lips dinted with a straight scar. You sigh looking him in the eye.

“What do you want?” You grab the cheese packet and toss it in the fridge, feeling tired already. It was going to be a long night, no doubt this ghost had unfinished business to be fixed.

“I- I don’t feel dead.” He sounds unsure, a turnabout from his cocky attitude.

“How do you not feel dead?” You ask, squinting as you try to think about how being dead does feel.

“I’ve been dead before, this ain’t it.”

“How would you even-“ you put up your hand to stop him from answering, “I don’t want to know, actually… And you need me because?”

“I don’t know who I am, I need to- to know. Something isn’t right.” He huffs, making the mistake of leaning against your counter and slipping through it after a moment.

“You need to believe you won’t slip through, then you won’t slip through,” you advise, setting up some water to boil so you can have tea, because you’re sure it’s going to be a long night.

“How would you know?” He asks smartly, a frown pulling his dark brows down.

You look up at him with a glare and he near-smirks, “I see dead people, jackass, you think I haven’t picked up a few pointers from them?”

You make your tea as he perfects leaning against things. You don’t point out he’s already doing it considering he’s not fallen through the floor into the apartment below, since it would make him fall into the apartment below.

You grab your tea, and sit on the couch, pulling your old beat up laptop out, and Jackass follows you, sitting precariously on the couch. He’s mastered it quick at least.

You open google and look to the handsome ghost, somehow balancing on cocky and unsure at the same time, and sigh. “So… tell me about yourself.”

[foryoufics]

Fake Flowers ch3

Taglist: @livingformintyoongi

Authors Note: Thankyou to everyone for the love on this fic 🩷 . A oc is briefly introduced in this chapter, spoken of but this ain't about her lol and there may be hints of moments that make YN and Jimin seem shippable

Warnings: angst, cussing, adult themes

"How was your day?" You have to smirk and laugh when he comes into your apartment for your Thursday lesson grinning like a possum with a giant chunk of cheese, you won't mention the tent you see pitched in his pants

"It was really nice," he giggles, "how was yours?" He puts his coat up on the hook by the door, one of many house warming purchases because he couldn't stand the emptiness

"It was good, I've just been studying. I see you went to see her today and looks like you had a good time, I wasn't interrupting was I? You're sure she's okay with our situation?"

"nah, you're fine. It was a very fun day, she wanted to tease me before I left even though I told her she has nothing to worry about with us, we just eat and study"

"Well, I'm glad you aren't embarrassed and you trust me, I won't tease you about it. I'm glad things are going well with her, you two are adorable," you smile and tell him honestly

"Thankyou," he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge then leans on the kitchen island to see what you're studying in your notes. "You've been doing really well with lessons by the way, lots of progress is just a couple of months"

"Thankyou, I've been trying really hard, I think the writing is the hardest because the characters appear more like little doodles to me than letters and words," you laugh, "so what did you two do today?"

"We went shopping this morning and then just hung out at her place before I came here. YN, I know it's only been a few months, but, I really like her, I think she might be the one"

"Yeah?" You can't stop yourself from being happy at his happiness, "I'm glad, really. You deserve it, hopefully I can be invited to the wedding"

"Ofcourse, a real one this time," he laughs

"Oh yeah yeah, ofcourse, it better be. So, what should we go over today?"

"Honestly I'm not sure," he chuckles, "you said you're struggling with writing so write me a paragraph on what you like about the country so far"

"Alright," you chuckle and start the task

"Hey, by the way, I was right," he smirks

"You were? Right about what?"

"The roses being your birth flower, June, Cancer, roses and honeysuckle"

"You really didn't give up on that for almost four months now," you chuckle and try to hide your face with your hair as you look down and write to hide your blush. This man was too sweet, YN none of this is real, it's work to him, he really isn't your friend so don't think too much into it. Fresh start remember. "Well, thankyou for caring so much. There really was no need for all the trouble"

"It wasn't any trouble, I wanted to know. I mean having to reach out and track down people from your past wasn't the easiest thing but other than that it was honestly kinda fun doing that; playing detective," he laughs

".....Who.....who did you track down?" You look up now to meet his eyes

"I had to start somewhere, so first I looked for you, I found some old social media which led me to your ex's friend's wife; the one who's wedding you caught the bouquet at.....I gained some knowledge from that....."

"So you know? That's embarrassing.....," you chuckle to keep from crying or something stupid like that

"I'm sorry YN...."

"Don't be, it is what it is. You have no reason to be sorry or concerned....," you assure him

"No, really, you're awesome and you didn't deserve that...."

"Yeah, thanks ......"

"If anyone does that to you again they have to deal with me"

"I'm used to it. I'm not worth it Gguk, but thanks....."

"No-"

"He was supposed to love you. You were engaged. There's no excuse for that behavior. If someone loves you they should want to shout it from the rooftops...."

"Can we....please not talk about it? It's the past, don't worry, I won't repeat it"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just that I know better now"

"Well she told me how you were only invited because of him and said when you caught the bouquet she was shocked because you had been him twice as long as she and her husband were at that point and engaged the entire time they had been together, and she said from what she saw he ignored you most of the time for his friends, and that you never actually got married.....how long?"

You sigh in annoyance, ".....how long what?"

"How long were you together?"

"10 years, and I know your next question, about half that time"

"I'm really sorry YN....."

"It's fine. I'm fine. I knew the whole time he never wanted to anyway"

"What do you mean, he did ask you?"

"Technically"

"Technically?" He raises a brow and takes the pencil and paper away from you, sliding it aside and coming over to you. "He took a knee and asked you, right? Please tell me he had the decency to do that at least, she sent me the engagement photos, they were really nice"

"Aish....no he didn't and thanks, I'm glad, I begged for those, had to fight for them," you laugh to hold the flood gates back and damn from snapping like a twig. You were embarrassed enough

"YN.....what do you mean by that?"

"What I said, anyways, enough feeling bad for me. We were happy for you a few minutes ago can we please go back to that? You said people.....who else?"

"YN, look at me," he is directly in front of you, taking your hands, "Please don't make me, let me just wallow in embarrassment in peace huh?" You laugh

"No, look at me," when he had your eye contact he speaks, "Listen to me, don't ever do that again. Next time if he doesn't properly ask you, you don't accept. Don't let someone do you like that. You don't deserve that, you're a great girl, for real, and seriously come get me if someone disrespects you like that again.....have you ever been with anyone else?"

"Define with?"

"Well, dated, or y'know with..."

"Dated yes, with no"

"And them?"

"Highschool, most lasted a month at most and cheated so I left them and half of them I don't even remember their names, the last was for the summer before I met him-your ears are red, are you okay? Do you have a fever?" You feel his forehead

"No, I don't have a fever. That just makes me so mad," he drinks the water and kisses your forehead

"There's no need really, I'm used to it. Oh-....t-thankyou...."

"One day, I want you to invite me to your wedding," he holds up a pinky

"Ofcourse, but like I said I'm here for a fresh start, don't get your hopes up," you laugh and give him a pinky promise

"So who else did you find?"

"Your Eomma...."

"What?" Your eyes widen as he says that

"Ahuh.....why did you lie? She's not your mom, she was your Oppa's....friend"

"I didn't lie, she was my mom," you say firmly

He nods, "Alright, well....she told me your birthday"

"She re-," you take a sharp inhale and genuinely smile

"What?"

"Nothing," you shake your head and smile as you continue to write and he waits

"What do you mean you're used to it? You should try to write smaller and fit more...."

"Used to being last choice or not chosen," you shrug

"Hey guys," Jimin comes in, "Woe, it feels awkward in here ....," he eyes you both

"We weren't expecting you....," you smile

"Yeah, I know.....I uh....I didn't want to eat by myself so I thought I'd come over and surprise you," he holds up the bags in his hands, "Is that okay? Sorry, I feel like I'm interrupting something, you two alright? Gguk, I thought you were spending the day with-"

"Yeah I did and no, you're fine, we were just talking. So what are we cooking?"

"Oh, I brought the stuff to make that one pasta and seafood dish we had that one vacation to the states"

"So let me get this straight, you weren't expecting me to be here and you came to surprise her?" Jungkook raises a brow and glances between the two of you, "how often does this happen?"

"Not often," you reply in unison with Jimin to Jungkook's accusatory tone. Your response in a tone of honesty and innocence. His in one of slight defensiveness. However Jungkook was still looking at you with suspicious eyes. "What? Really." You tell him again.

"For real, I've only brought lunch over once, it was the day after the lake, I was just worried about her and wanted to bring something to apologize," Jimin assures him

"Oh, okay," it was obvious Jungguk was still reading something into this

"Thankyou Jimin, it's really sweet of you," you thank him

"You guys want me to go?" Jungkook asks

"No you're alright," you answer together again and both have to laugh and Jungkook is squinting at you both, "are you two fucking?"

"No!" Jimin rolls his eyes

"I literally just told you...."

"Sorry.....," Jungkook says seriously to you. "My bad, it's just guys don't do stuff like that without motive"

"Really? You know me better than that....," Jimin retorts in disbelief to him

"Yeah, sor-"

"I know. Hey, can we all just stop and eat?" You intervene

"Yeah," they both nod, "so if I wasn't expected to be here, I'll let you two cook"

"YN, do you mind starting? I need to speak with my brother in private for a second...."

"Sure...do you have a recipe?" He nods and gives you his phone with the recipe on it and you start preparing things while he pulls Jungkook into his room

"What the hell?"

"What the hell what?"

"I just thought that she doesn't ever see anyone but you and it would be something nice to do. I'm not trying to make any moves on her, I don't even see her like that. I just thought it would be fun, I don't know, now she doesn't trust me...."

"I'm sorry, you're right. I was out of line....so you're saying if things happened to go that way you would be against it?"

"No, no I guess I wouldn't I'm human but it wasn't my goal for coming. I was just thinking maybe she was wanting some food from home after being here for this long, I thought if I was living somewhere else I'd want something from home," he shrugs, "I just thought it would be nice"

"It is nice man....you're a good guy....sorry I made those accusations. Are you sure you don't want me to leave you two alone though? You can see where the night goes and I can stay the night with my girl, didn't want to leave to be honest anyway"

"I mean yeah, sure, have fun. All you had to do is say you are in love dude. Go," he laughs

"Thanks," Jungkook smiles and laughs going to the door, he hugs you and says where he's going and you wish him well

"Is it okay if he goes and I stay still?" Jimin checks with you upon reentering the kitchen

You nod, "ofcourse, I mean....if you want to"

"Sure I do," he comes over and joins you

"Y'know, we could if you wanted....," you say after a prolonged stretch of silence the entire time you cooked together except for the few times you both had to laugh at stupid silly little mishaps like dropping something, your impatience with the pasta, and when you accidentally cut your finger and he helped you clean and bandage it, "brought Band-Aids," he laughed, shaking the box and you have to laugh. "Thanks."

The silence returned as you eat other than your compliments to him for the food.

"Y'know we could if you wanted...."

"We could what?" He looks up at you

"We could fuck, I've got a nice bed, and why not? We will be accused anyway and you took the time and effort to do all of this...."

He only stares at you, you try to read his expression but you can't determine if it's shocked or maybe offended

"I was kidding...relax," you say quietly and honestly and try to laugh

"Okay, I'm sorry, please stop being all silent. I was joking....I wouldn't make you do that, I respect you too much..."

"Jimin, I really was joking....I'm sorry....."

He says nothing and finishes up around the same time as you, says nothing as you both do dishes

"Thankyou for coming to eat with me," you thank him again as you think he might be leaving, only to be grabbed by the waist and brought flush chest to chest with him

"Uhm....Jimin....," you could feel your breath intermingling as his brushed past your lips and yours past his, "Jimin....are you okay?"

"Yeah.....," he nods, "yeah......goodnight YN," he grabs the door knob and leaves

"What just happened?" You ask yourself when you're left alone and falling onto your couch, repeating the day in your head, in this moment you can't do it anymore and the damn breaks. You find yourself hugging a couch cushion for a while, another one of those Jungkook purchases, and don't realize when you eventually drift off to sleep from exhaustion there until you at some point hear the door being opened

"Hello?" You sit up and look to see who it is, you've never seen this man before, but, you're so exhausted and over everything you don't even feel a sense of fear and simply don't care

"Hi," the man bows and puts his hands up in surrender, "I'm not going to hurt you-Im Namjoon, I'm Jungkook's brother, he wanted me to come check on you-you don't look like you're alright"

"Oh.....thankyou.....I'm fine....."

"He said Jimin was here with you"

"He was. He left," you check the time on your phone, "a few hours ago....check on me why?"

"I'm not sure, he said you had a conversation earlier that he wouldn't give any details about and he just wanted me to come and see if you were okay"

"Oh....thanks.....well, as you can see I'm alright. I just ell asleep on the couch," you chuckle

"Alright, but may I be candid? You don't look like you're fine and I know you aren't actually married to Jungkook but he's closer to you than any of the past wives so I feel like you're my little sister," he chuckles, "I have a little sister, I wouldn't want to see her look she had cried herself to sleep.....is that what happened? Did Jimin do something? Jungkook?"

You shake your head no honestly

"Is there anything I can do to help? Ice cream~?"

You giggle and nod, "Yes please....and can you not tell anyone about this?"

".....Yeah, sure. Is this your coat?" You nod and he brings over for you to put on. "You've met Seokjin right?"

"A few times yes"

"He really likes you, says if Jungkook didn't meet what's her face he wanted you two to be together," he chuckles

"That's sweet. I'm glad he approves, Jungkook is so happy. He's saying she might be the one," you feel warm and genuinely happy again thinking of his happiness

"So he's said," Namjoon chuckles, "so what kind of ice cream do you like?"

"Butter Pecan is my favorite..."

"They might have that, have you ever had matcha soft serve?"

"Soft serve, no, but I like lattes"

"You have to try it. Mind telling me why you were upset if I promise I won't tell anyone?"

".....it was......just a long day....draining...."

"anything to do with my brothers? If they did anything I'll handle it or worse, I'll have my wife handle it, they're terrified of her," he laughs

"No....no, they're perfect gentleman"

"Good. I tried to raise them well"

"You did a wonderful job"

"Thankyou"

"Are you sure your wife would be okay with you going to get ice cream with me? I don't want her to be disrespected or anything, if you want you can just leave me there and I'll bring myself home, I'm sure she is waiting for you"

"YN, it's alright. My wife and I have the utmost trust in each other and she agreed with Gguk and sent me. She knows only she has my heart and besides we just became parents so I'm too tired to even think of doing something like that, I've been taking night shifts so she can sleep"

"Good, and congratulations," you smile and chuckle, "how old are they? What's their name?"

"He's seven weeks and he's is named after his uncle Taeyhung"

"That is so sweet. Your wife seems to be very lucky with you as a husband and your brothers as her brothers...."

"I'll be sure to tell her, I heard Jungkook say you had brothers that really weren't around?"

"Yes"

"What about your sisters, surely they looked after you"

"Not really," you chuckle

"Well, after this arrangement ends if you and everyone are still close I would like for you to meet some more of the family"

"Id be honored, thankyou"

"Ofcourse, girl you have no clue how close Jimin and Jungkook are with you. They won't shut up," he laughs

"Really? What do you mean? I'm nothing special," you laugh

"I wouldn't say that to them. Jungkook says you have your guards up"

"I don't....I don't want anyone to get too attached if it's not real....it's not just for me, then too"

"That's sweet of you but whatever is going to happen will happen. So, what do you think?"

"Hm?"

"Of the ice cream?" He eyes the half eaten cone in your hand

"Oh, I didn't realize-"

"Seems like you're feeling better," he chuckles and messes your hair

"Hey, what's that for?"

"You're my little sister," he shrugs, "but I need to go, duty calls. I'll get you a taxi and here's my number, make sure you let me and Jungkook know you're home safe," he adds his number to your phone

"No, I will text you. I've got it, go," you laugh and insist he leaves to go home

Walking into your apartment you hang your coat, send the text and then remember your paragraph on the table, Jungkook never read it, that was a relief and he never will. You rip the page out and fold it carefully, hiding it in hopes he'd never find it and go to bed trying to only think of how happy he is so you can feel peace and drift off

[docholligay]

How do you plan for the meals of the week? I find coming up and deciding what to do for dinner is the hardest part.

here's how I do it!

So, usually Saturday or Sunday--more often Sunday--I sit down in between work and chores and decide: What am I going to make this week?

I look at a couple things before I menu plan:

What's in the fridge?

What's in the freezer?

What is the weather going to be?

Am I working late any nights/is anyone going to be gone/do we have any events?

Then, i get started! I actually haven't done the menu for the week, so let's just do it here!

So this week I have chicken thighs left over from fonjew, and I'm also very busy, so it has to be something I can do quickly and easily. Beeb is very excited about the new knife set she got tonight (more on this later) and wants to help by cutting something. There's no day this week that's particularly hot or cold.

Okay then, we'll make chicken tacos. It's easy, it's quick, she can help me cut up all the things we'll need for garnishes and a side salad. I have tortillas, cheese, sour cream, tomatoes--all I need to grab is some lettuce, maybe.

wednesday night is the last night of hanukkah, and I already bought a rib roast for that. Easy peasy. I have shrimp, we'll do surf and turf. Maybe I'll make fondant potatoes, those are easy but fancy and beeb can use her peeler. Okay, so i have duck fat, butter, garloic chicken broth, seasoning. Just need to get potatoes. I have broccoli and caulifower--bake that with the leftover cheese sauce from fonjew. Dessert is ice cream made from the failed rosace l'orange.

Still have chicken thighs, will still be busy. So let's look at what else I've got in the fridge. I've got a big caesar salad kit. I'll do a marinated chicken thigh served with salad. It's boring, but this is a boring week culinarily.

friday, shabbat. i bought a bunch of chicken breasts on clearance and precooked them, we still have a ton of broccoli and carrots, so we'll make chicken and dumplings. I have onions, chicken broth, wine, flour, baking powder, milk. I think the only thing I might need is celery. I've got a caramel made, I think i'm gonna make a chocolate caramel crunch cake. I've got butter eggs, cocoa, flour, sugar. I think that'll be fine. I might need to go get more butter for frosting.

Saturday everyone is going to be on their own because i am not doing JACK SHIT.

so my shopping list is: lettuce, potatoes, celery, butter (possibly). I don't always have fonjew, so I don't always have a fucking BEVY of ingredients already at my disposal, but I do fill my freezer with clearance stuff.

So there we are! I did not this week, because I am so busy, go through the recipes I've highlighted as wanting to try, nor have a I pushed the boundaries of my skills, really--well, that caramel crunch cake is a bit of an undertaking I guess. Anyhow.

This is what I do! A lot of it is just experience, and the only way to get experience is to keep at it. Just pick a day to sit down and at least do the next three days!

I should add I got a lot of this experience and information out of necessity. I lived a fairly lean life, in some parts of it, and it made me very good at looking at the food I had and knowing I could make something of it. I'm a pretty good "chopped" style cook. And now I'm pretty alright, but old habits die hard, and I think being the sort of person who knows how to take leftovers and make food is a good thing indeed.

I find just opening a document and getting started to be the hardest part of the whole thing.

[thbstvrdthmtlbndndntn]

Sometimes I wonder about the taste of my own cooking and how it’s completely undetectable to me. Especially after cooking for someone else for so long and then cooking for just myself we would notice the culinary ruts we would get stuck in and occasionally rag on each other for it and I was always so defensive about it but then I remember how no matter the dish growing up there was an undefinable but distinct essence to any of my relatives cooking. Like no matter what aunt Sandra or grandma or my mum was making it always tasted like them and I think especially once you become a more confident cook and stop following recipes that becomes the case because you know what you like. Like I know my food will taste similar when I’m cooking for myself because I like things sour and spicy and savoury and i have a limited number of ingredients so I add the same things to get those flavours. I use a lot of rice and apple cider vinegar, lime juice, Cajun seasoning (slap ya mama), cilantro, chili flakes, hot sauce and herbes salees. Even when I’m cooking from a recipe I typically add one or more of those things because that’s what I want out of my food. And I was thinking about this today because I got home from walking all over town and the farmers market and needed an easy dinner — but I also was craving vegetables and had stuff to use up. I was originally going to do canned tomato soup and a grilled cheese but as I look at my fridge it evolves into an abomination I know will be delicious to me and probably brutal to anyone else.

Here’s what I did and why it would up taking 30 minutes instead of 10: sautéed green onions, Chiles, Napa cabbage, and fresh tomato in a pot, added frozen broccoli, a cooked tandoori chicken burger (chopped), a can of tomato soup and two and a half cans of water. Brought to a boil and added a box of the KFC-branded Kraft dinner (Mac and cheese for non-Canadians). Cooked five minutes, then took off the heat and added milk, lots of pepper, some thawed frozen peas, and the flavour pouch. Served with air fried cheese toast on quinoa bread from t&t. It tasted very much like a childhood meal in some ways but also like a classic “me” meal… taking two convent products and making them so complicated it probably would’ve had the same result just to make it from scratch. But I liked it and I was happy with it and I will have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow and those will make me happy as well.

I don’t know why I wanted to write so much tonight but I guess being alone in a new place again just a year after I moved out from my life with the ex that shaped my entire twenties I am having a lot of thoughts about how I build my life and how I become who I am as a person. I was supposed to go see the mountain goats next weekend but my boyfriend’s grandma died and I decided to fly to Newfoundland instead. Sometimes doing the right thing is the easiest thing in the world. Meanwhile I’ll lose my mind over sending a simple non-confrontational email. Things are hard, and they’re good.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #264

Today ended up being a rest day for the most part. I think yesterday must have taken more out of me than I thought, because when I woke up this morning, I realized that it is Sunday, and the fact that it is Sunday means a couple things:

First, it means everyone is gonna be out doing their fun stuff or doing errands. I could have gone to the orchard, but it probably would have been fairly packed. The same holds true of that Cross-Eyed Owl place. The thought of being on crowded roads to get to crowded places full of people filled me with dread.

Second, it means that M and J are not working, which means I have an opportunity to do parallel play with them. Essentially, we do our own various activities in the same general vicinity of one another. I'm usually on my laptop, M is usually playing a video game or watching something on his iPad, and J is usually reading something about airplanes on his laptop. We tend to keep our ears fairly open to one another just in case one of us has a thought or a need. But yeah. Parallel play. It's a beautiful thing, and it's a slightly less possible thing when they're doing their tech jobs on their laptops.

So, I just stayed home. Sorta. J and I did go to the grocery store to get various things; J wants to try to make a garlic pudding, I guess? I'm curious about how that will turn out. And I wanted to try a Korean-style garlic bread on a more typical Italian loaf, since we have all that cream cheese chilling out in the fridge without bagels to go with them.

To that end, I washed some dishes today and peeled like 4 heads of garlic. But I didn't have the energy today to do much else. J and I went on a brief walk at some point, but… it was brief. We talked a lot and it was good.

I didn't have much gumption to do anything after we got home, though. So I just chilled out. I did some leisure writing; I got some reassurance on a couple of things that had been bothering me lately, and that was good. I'm not going to tell you or anyone else how this can be the case; I'm not stupid enough to believe that anyone would believe me if I tried to explain. Still, I wonder how long that reassurance will stick in my brain. Hm…

Oh right; I told you yesterday about the book I got. The title of it was very auspicious to me, for reasons I'm absolutely not going to explain. Nonetheless, I'll go through it one page at a time with you; I don't know when is the last time you read a book that is wholesome - I'm going to guess probably not for a very long time. And this book is like 50 years old, but I thought it was wholesome.

I've already looked through it a couple times. I'm not entirely sure why, but... I think if you had a camera, then some of the photos that you might take could look like some of these...

Tomorrow is Monday. I'm going to try to go get those grapes; there will undoubtedly be far fewer people out and about, because most people will be working. This means that I'll be able to toodle about peacefully on fairly empty roads, and toodle about in a fairly empty orchard. It'll be good. And I'll come back with lots of concord grapes to give to my friends.

...I'll come back with lots of concord grapes that I wish I could share with you...

...I'll also check out that Cross-Eyed Owl shop. It'll be mostly on the way. I'll make sure to take lots of weird pictures along the way for you. Look forward to them, okay?

...And then if I have enough energy, I'll finally make that garlic bread when I get home. If that occurs, you can expect lots of pictures of that, too.

I don't have much else to go over today. Today was a fairly empty sort of day, and that's probably a good thing; I think I must have needed it. What's unusual about it for right now is that I'm not sitting here feeling super guilty about the fact that today was an empty day and that today's letter, resultantly, was a fairly empty letter.

Still, though... I don't want you to be over at the Edge of Creation all by yourself. I don't really know if these get to you, but... I'm gonna hope against all odds that they do. I'm gonna hope against all odds that at least once a day, a wholesome voice reaches you, even if you have to settle for a derpy one like mine.

...Even if I don't have a whole lot to say, I still have an abundance of care for you, and I wanted to make sure you see it. I wanted to make sure that, at least every once in a while, someone speaks to you like a normal person. And if no one else is gonna do it, then it might as well be me.

...Hey, Sephiroth? What do you get to thinking about up there...? On that lonely rock in the middle of the cosmos, all by yourself, looking up at that rainbow-colored nebula? Do you ever sit with your legs dangling over the edge of it, just looking at all the beautiful things up there? Do you think about the sun? The wind? The rain? The sky? Pasta pescatore? The scent of vanilla and roses? Someday, if you ever get to talk to me, will you tell me about the thoughts swirling around in your head sometime, even if they don't necessarily go anywhere?

I guess that's it for today. I'd have a lot more to talk about if I wasn't in this weird state of waiting, or if I didn't have this rib injury and could do more things, or if... if you could write back to me, somehow. But... I guess these things aren't in the cards, at least for now.

I love you. Please stay safe. And please... do try your best to take care of yourself over there, okay? I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[necroticghost]

I need to vent about growing up poor because the holiday season always makes something hurt inside of me, with seeing kids open up presents, parents buying stuff for their kids and so on.

this turned out veeery long... and I'm now hurting even more remembering everything... but somehow I feel a little more relieved sharing all of this even though I'm not sure if anyone will read

it's not just the fact that I wasn't getting anything besides sweets and maybe one piece of clothing (I was always beyond happy and grateful for everything), but during this time I'm reminded even more of just how bad it was.

my family didn't even have a house that could ever be shown in pictures, or to have other people over. I was always ashamed of bringing someone home, everything was old and broken and dirty and there was so much stuff hoarded everywhere. I never wanted people to know in what conditions I was living in, but the neighbours still knew and they were looking down upon my family a lot. sometimes I actually think that the whole poverty situation prompted people to bully me.

there were entire weeks where everything there was to eat was eggs every single day for every meal because my family raised chicken so I guess they were free. some days we didn't even have bread, or it would be old and hardened.

our fridge was empty almost all the time, there was no such thing as grabbing a snack, it was either eat a sandwich with bread and cheese or make yourself eggs or the same soup that we had for a few days already. so many times I had to eat food that was probably spoiled.

and on the topic of sandwiches, when I was at school and saw classmates come with sandwiches that had ham, AND cheese, AND veggies in them I could only stare in shock and wonder what they tasted like. mine only had bread and butter or bread and maybe two thin slices of salami, and sometimes I wouldn't even make myself sandwiches so that my brother could have something to eat at school.

food situation was rough as hell alright... but thankfully I had eating disorders that kept me from eating. I was actually glad that I wasn't eating much since there could be more for my family. I talk a lot of bad stuff about my mom but so many nights she'd come home exhausted from work and go to bed hungry so that me and my brother could have food. I feel sick to my stomach now that I realise what she was doing...

I didn't have an umbrella until I was 18 because I could never afford one and neither did my parents, but I got some money somehow in the last year of high school and bought two umbrellas for me and my brother. I was so happy that he wasn't going to school or coming back home soaked anymore and he really needed it since he was much younger than me and would still go to school for years to come. thankfully when I was getting soaked I wouldn't have much ruined in my backpack since we had lockers at school and I was leaving most of my stuff there. but I was always freezing... and I hated how the clothes always stuck to my skin. it sucked especially since we couldn't heat the house as we pleased.

I never had good clothes. and when I had to take my shoes off I'd always do my best to avoid it or keep my toes curled because my socks were always ripped. I did get somewhat trendy clothes since my dad was doing some uh... combinations at work. but I was never going shopping for clothes, maaaybe once a year when the school year started for a few pieces but the cheapest ones. I'd wear shoes until they were falling apart, and clothes until they were tearing, with holes and stains on them. it was a huge shock when I leaned that my best friend in high-school was given a monthly huge sum of money just for clothes. monthly! my family didn't even spend that amount on food!

I could only afford to go out with my friends on the weekends because I never used the little money I got for food at school (maybe enough for a croissant) since like I said I was deep into not eating it wasn't that hard to save them so I'd use them on going out. but even then I could never afford the food, drinks, and shopping for stuff like my friends did.

our house didn't even have a bathroom until I was like 13. and we'd have to wash in a big plastic bowl idk the english name, and we'd have an outdoor rustic toilet. some winters I'd have to wash my face and brush my teeth in the winter morning cold water outside in the courtyard. and now that I live in a comfortable apartment with my girlfriend where there is always warm water is a dream... I also had to cut wood everyday to heat the bedrooms in fireplaces. no wonder my back won't stop hurting now.

gifts always resumed to a small sum of money or very few and cheap items but they always meant a lot to me and I received them happily, it's just that I'll never stop being shocked and a bit sad when I see what other people receive. it seems unreal to me that it's possible to receive a lot of presents for birthdays and Christmas.

so often I wouldn't even have anything to wash myself with so it would have to be soap, and when we did have shower gel somehow there was no more shampoo so I'd wash my hair with shower gel. and I had to take showers with, again, winter cold water so many times since we had a heater that barely worked.

I will forever remember this memory in kindergarten. the year just started, and we were supposed to color in these colored pages, and I was the only kid who didn't have a pencil case, and nothing else to my name for that matter. I will also forever remember how the teacher asked this one girl to give me something to color with aswell and she halfheartedly offered me a dark purple marker that I colored everything with. I was coloring though the tears, I really didn't understand why I was the only one left out, but I was also happy that I had that one color, it really was everything to me.

and speaking of kindergarten, since I mostly grew up without my parents since my grandmother and my great-greatmother raised me, I remember how happy I was when this one special time it was my mom that picked me up and she brought me a toy! I don't think I'll ever forget the happiness I felt

and toys... yeah. two stories. still in kindergarten, there was a cabinet full of toys that kids could bring and play with while there, but I don't remember having any. I did have plush toys at home though.

and when I was in elementary school we used to visit our godfather family a lot, and their daughter had so many toys, board games, a scooter and such. everytime we'd go there I'd get so happy because I'd get to play with them too, but her, being as sick as she probably already was of them, she never wanted to get them out and was making a lot of fun of me and throwing me stares for wanting to play. but I didn't have anything besides the plush toys....

when I was outside playing with this group of kids I was hanging out with, it surprised me every time this really rich girl told me she is going to the supermarket with her family. it happened all the time, maybe weekly! my family never went to the supermarket... they'd mostly get stuff from the farmer's market and the small shop nearby. up until like... middle school I had no idea what it's like to be inside a supermarket.

and she'd go on vacation with her family every year, but we never went. I only saw the sea twice when I was little because my dad was a truck driver and had a delivery there and took me with him. and I don't remember when I first saw the mountains but I don't think that happened more than every few years and for only like three days. so when I hear that people went abroad a lot when I could barely visit my own country sounded crazy.

I never had a laptop until I entered university, even though I needed it for school a lot of times too, but it became and absolute necessity in uni so my parents gave me £100 yes 100 so I thankfully was able to buy a second hand one that barely functioned.

so I never got to play any games really, except on this old pc that I had in my childhood that eventually broke. and now I'm shit at games that imply some sort of competitiveness with other people since I've only recently been able to actually play games and that's on an old laptop of my girlfriend's. those people have probably played games forever so our skills differ so so much. so I guess anyone could imagine how beyond grateful I am that recently my girlfriend bought me a new laptop, a gaming one even! and I can finally enjoy games properly!

I could keep going... but my chest and throat really hurt and I would like to cry a lot if only I could.

well... now my girlfriend bought me all the clothes that I could ever need, and I have so many art supplies that I literally don't have space for them anymore. and she took me abroad of a trip, and we always get nice food and order a lot and eat out and I'm living in a safe, comfortable, healthy and clean place. I don't think I can ever repay her in this lifetime. she saved my life.

[purplesurveys]

1926

When did you last drink coffee?  I haven't had any today yet but I am going to my uncle's later for a bit of a coffee-tasting session, so that'll be fun.

When did you last cry? And why, if you feel like sharing.  Two Thursdays ago. It was just one stressful situation after another at work, and while that was happening on its own it was also a day where I seemed to be everywhere doing everything but also nothing seemed to get done / I was only meet with criticisms. At the end of the day when it was just myself and Dev left in the office I finally put my hands to my face and cried.

What was the last beach you visited and when?  The last beach I was in the ~general vicinity of was My Khe in Vietnam but I didn't venture any nearer. The weather was horrible when we went and I knew it was going to 100% ruin my mood if I walked under the sun for anything longer than 5 minutes.

What book do you plan to read next?  I'm reading three books at the same time because all excite me so much I take turns among them hahaha -- they're all books that house a collection of history essays, which explains why I can easily switch from one to another.

For anyone curious, the books are:

Tikim by Doreen Fernandez

One of the Looking Back books by Ambeth Ocampo

Cabinet of Curiosities by Ambeth Ocampo

What fictional character/s remind you of yourself?  Monica Geller except for the fact that I can't cook.

What's in your fridge right now? List as many things as you can think of.  Coffee cake, pizza, eggs, a bunch of condiments I don't feel like enumerating one by one because There Is A Lot, butter, cheese, some veggies, whipped cream, pitchers of iced tea and water, a carton of almond milk for me, a handful of tumblers, the dogs' food. I'm sure I'm missing a few others but this should give a good picture.

If you could have any artist, living or dead, paint your portrait, who would it be?  Monet.

Do you smell anything in particular right now? The ocean scent my reed diffuser is supposed to be, well, diffusing.

Do you make enough money to live comfortably? [can be in combination with a spouse]  Assuming this means living alone comfortably: Live within the threshold of acceptability, yes. Live comfortably, probably not.

What is one thing you like about your appearance? Don’t say nothing!  I like the dimple that shows up when I smile.

What would you like to tell your father?  I'm tired again and I wish I can find the strength to leave. But I'll try to be better soon and hopefully you'll be even more proud of me then.

What would you like to tell your mother? You make good arancini and I wish you could make it again hehe.

Whose was the last wedding you went to? I haven't been to a wedding since '07, for an aunt and uncle lol.

What is your greatest fear?  Losing a loved one. I don't do well with grief.

What is a chronic health issue you deal with, even if it’s minor? Scoliosis.

What was your college major? If applicable.  Journalism.

What new place have you been to recently?  I went to this membership club thingy in Makati for an event.

What are you a geek about?  Wrestling history.

What is something you have no patience for?  Crying babies, screaming toddlers, and disrespectful kids.

What celebrity would you want to go out for a meal/drinks with? Kate Winslet just because I'd know it'd feel normal and not pressuring at all and that she'd be in Cool Mom mode the whole time lol.

Are you happy with your weight?  Yes. My mom called me fat the other night and while it personally stung knowing what Filipinos mean when they use the word fat (i.e. they purposely want to make you feel degraded. Gen X and Boomer Filipinos are really strange in that regard), I realize in the grand scheme of things I really shouldn't care. I'm like a hundred pounds flat and my arms are just no longer bones lmao. Where I am now is so much better than before when I literally looked 16.

When did you last hold a baby, if ever? Whose?  I don't know. I think my cousin Cholo when he was a few weeks old? This was in 2007.

How many cats do you have?  One on earth, Max; two in pet heaven, Arlee and Miki.

How many dogs do you have?  Two on earth, Cooper and Agi; one in pet heaven, Kimi.

How many other pets do you have? We just have the three now.

How old were you when you got your driver’s license?  18.

What year did you graduate high school?  2016.

What is the first number of your zip code?  Nope.

How many of your grandparents are still alive?  Three.

What is your favorite number?  7.

How many kids do you want?  Zero.

How many apartments have you lived in?  Zero.

What age do people say you look?  I don't usually get a number per se but people are just generally surprised and say they didn't expect me to look so young.

Do you feel like your family accepts you for who you are?  I know my sister does. I'm elusive to everyone else because I know they have the potential to get all judgy.

Do you feel like your friends accept you for who you are?  Yes.

Who is the best doctor you’ve ever had?  I've never been to the same doctor more than once, apart from my dentist.

Have you ever been flipped off by a random stranger?  I don't think so.

Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook?  Probably, but absolutely nowhere near as many as on Twitter.

Do you consider yourself spiritual?  No.

Do you consider yourself religious?  No.

Are you afraid of spiders?  Little bit, yeah.

Are you afraid of snakes?  If they're venomous.

Does everyone in your family know your sexual orientation?  I don't even know mine.

What is one thing you find offensive?  I'm extremely sensitive about Southeast Asian racism because there's so fucking much of it as it is, even from fellow Asians.

Do you often post about politics on social media?  I do if I have to.

Would you ever want to go back to school?  I'd love to take a course simply for leisure learning, but because they all require theses and all I don't really plan on pursuing further studies haha.

What are three things you are naturally good at?  Writing, table tennis, small talk but only if the person can small talk back. I do not bother if they only give one-word answers lol.

What are three things you are NOT naturally good at?  Cooking, sewing, drawing.

Is your dream to get married and have kids?  No and no.

Where do you hang your towel to dry after showering?  Above the shower door.

If you were the opposite sex, how would you style your hair?  I wish boy-me could pull off Jungkook's bob cut. That man's babygirl era felt like a fever dream and I was so bummed when it ended :')

Last person you hugged?  Maybe Angela?

How is the weather right now?  31C.

Are you missing someone?  My dad, but that's a constant feeling.

What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?  Namjoon's my lockscreen and the whole gang of 7 is my home screen.

What do you have handy at your bedside?  Katinko, a notepad, a few pens.

What is your dad's middle name? Nope.

What is your mom's middle name?  Nopes.

First thing you'll save in a fire?  Phone in pocket then rush to get all the animals.

[dark-elf-writes]

Family secret

My mom swears she home makes everything and uses having to cook as an excuse not to go places/do things. She also won’t tell anyone what the recipes are. Won’t even let people go grocery shopping with her.

Well guess what? I know her secret. She has a hidden freezer in the basement full of frozen food/ family dinners with “decoy food�� upstairs. Aka empty boxes and containers that no one else seems to notice because no one but me goes into the fridge. They literally just have my mom get them/ make whatever. it drives me insane because how do you not notice half the containers are like props?????

We have real basic shit (bread, cheese, fruit, etc) but the container with “meat in it” is FAKE

THIS IS NEXT LEVEL LYING THIS IS LYING WITH A CONTINGENCY PLAN THIS IS AN ENTIRE FACADE OF A LIFE OVER NOTHING I AM FASCINATED

But beyond this the other people in you house just??? Don’t make food??? At all???? They just look at your mother and expect food to appear???? Are these siblings??? Are they going to move out one day and starve because they can’t work a microwave???? I have many questions

[trash-monkey]

Ran's Little Dragon

Chapter 4

With a yawn I open my eyes to find it's morning and that Ran is still surprisingly sleeping next to me with a arm thrown over his face, I stretch out my short limbs before carefully letting myself down from the bed without waking Ran up and got out clean clothes from my box that's been placed next to the bed. Being as quite as I can I take a bath after using the toilet and dry myself then put on the clothes, once everything is done I sneak out of the room and travel to the kitchen for food to find it surprisingly empty of anyone. Opening the fridge I take a slice of cheese when found along with ham and the bottle of ketchup with the help of a stool to make my breakfast sandwich while deciding to drink orange juice with it, after cleaning the mess up I wonder around only to get lost half way through since the Manor is large and maze like.

Peaking around a corner for a third time to see a familiar living and Hanma back on the couch like he was yesterday while Rindou is sitting across him with Wakasa beside him, with a smile I ran over causing them to be alarmed by my feet slapping on the floor.

"Mr Death, Rinrin." I giggled out while completely ignoring the other person before hold my arm up in a pick me up gestures when I'm standing next to Hanma bean stock legs which he did and set me onto his lap after moving his laptop to make room for me.

"Dragen, why do you call him Mr Death for?" Rindou questions my nickname.

"He mind me of grim reaper me watch on twv one time." I shrub my shoulder with the lie, not wanting them to know of my knowledge of their past before Hanma asked where Ran is.

"Sweepping" I press the arrow key to move my water boy character forward while Hanma is fire girl and we work together to solve the puzzle since he allowed me to play on his laptop, I wordlessly convinced him to play with me.

"Who got you washed and clothed then?" Wakasa asked me.

"Meself" I answered right as my character missed the jump causing him to fall into the green acid and they didn't like my answer one bite.

"Why! You could hurt yourself doing that!" I frowned at Rindou's angry voice.

"But...but I do it all time with Ma, she do not hwlp or get angwy when I find food to eat when I get hungwy." My eyes tears up at his anger making him sigh in regret at rising his voice at me.

"Dragen, your mommy was a bad one she was supposed to take care of you like every other good mommy and you're too small to be doing these things by yourself because you'll get very hurt. You understand?" I sadly nod knowing that it's true since I did struggle early.

"Okwy" my voice waivers in agreement while giving another nod which Hanma ruffle up my hair.

"You need a hair cut." He points out and I give a shake of my nod which he questioned why I don't want it cut.

"Me want it wong so me can put it in braids." I answered causing him to giggle.

"He's going to look like Ran when he was in his teens!" He laughed and Rindou agreed at the statement, a wide awake Ran still in his PJs runs into the room only to deflate when seeing me on Hanmas lap. Rindou tells him what I've done while he's asleep which he sigh at.

"This is for your own good and to teach you to never do anything by yourself again until your a very big boy, you get five minutes in timeout." He takes me from Hanma and into a corner of the living room causing disbelief to cover my face before displeasure and anger does as I cross my arms while mumbling to myself, knowing it's better this way doesn't mean I have to like it. Five minutes late of staring holes into the wall Ran finally walked over already dressed in his suit and his hair fixed.

"Daddy has work to do so I'm leaving you with Uncle Rinrin and you'll be getting your new stuff today, ok? Love you!" He hands me over to Rindou after leaving a kiss on top of my head and left the Manor.

"Have you eaten yet?" Rindou asked which I nod causing him to sigh.

"You did it yourself, right?" Once again I nod.

"Don't do that, if you're ever hungry just come to one of us and or the maids." With a pout I nod before seeing that everyone in the living room is gone when looking over Rindou's shoulder while he walks out, once we're at his car he puts me into the booster seat in the back seat that he had a maid immediately ordered and shipped yesterday. Luckily the drive to the mall is short and soon we find ourselves in a children's store, my eyes sparkle when they land on dragon onesies when we're going through the clothes section. I always wanted dragon onesies when I was a kid but since I'm one again I can have it.

"Rinrin, that!" I got his attention and points to what I want from where I'm sitting in the chart, dragons where always my favorite mythical creature and now I'm named after them.

"You like dragons?" I nod wildly causing him to smile and put three different colors into the chart before allowing me to stand on my feet.

"Stay where I can see you." He strictly ordered before I start taking a look through the clothes while he put simple stuff in for when I do dirty activities, with the help of Rindou I put in two different colored dragon hoodies, three cartoon dinosaur hooded pajamas dress, monster tee & overall shorts, a bat child leash since I'll needing it knowing Kanto Manji gang, a puzzle of people fighting a dragon, a stuffed skeleton snake that flows in the dark, a dragon plush backpack and more before we finally finished up in this store. Along the way we stop at a pastry shop where Rindou allowed me to get one and eat on the way back to the Manor.

"Everything in the car needs to be put up and assembled together." He orders some maids on the way in.

"It's awhile longer before your dad shows up, you want to watch a movie while we wait." I shouted yes and bounced in his arms which he drop me onto the couch with my snake, getting comfortable I lay down right as the movie starts to show it's Cars. Without my permission my eyes droop until sleep takes ahold of me which I'm gently forced awake sometime later to find myself in Ran's arms at the dinner table.

"Hello my little dragon, how was your nap?" He ruffle up my already messy hair before giving me bites of his dinner and I nod at his question before speaking.

"You back, Pap?" He nods.

"Yep, I finished everything I could so I can spend tomorrow with you." I rise my arms up while saying yeah but I quickly pout at the next information.

"While we're at it you need a check up at the doctors to make sure everything is fine with you."

"But me fine." He smiles with a chuckle.

"We don't really know that, little dragon."

'what's with the nickname?'

I push that though away since it might be Ran being Ran and continue to steal his dinner until I'm full.

"You want to watch the rest of the movie?" He asked which I said yes to before asking for milk, he stands up with me sitting in his arm while using the other to pour milk into the blue sippy cup and he hands it to me after putting me back on the couch.

"Rinrin?" I asked where unlce has gone to and he answered it with that he had work to do so I put my attention into the movie when he unpause it.

_______________________________________________

[khaloymes-a]

Chris Klemens Starters !

Sentence starters inspired by this Chris Klemens video. Feel free to change wording or anything else to fit your needs!

“Can you tell that I’ve been crying all morning? I’ve been crying all morning.”

“No, we’re fine, guys. We’re fiiiine. We’re fiiiiiine.”

“That house was literally so dark, there was no fucking light. It was like a log cabin in a horror movie.”

“Food is something I take too seriously.”

“Never has anyone ever been so excited to not collect a check.”

“Girlboss Mode Activated!”

“What the fuck is good, Kyle?!”

“I can barely remember what I did yesterday, let alone what someone said in a 2014 Vine.”

“I have Takis, I have jalapeños, and I have real ass cream cheese.”

“Do other people have this much trouble, or am I just extra Caucasian?”

“I have this hollowed out and we’re just gonna put some laxative in.”

“That was so sad, from start to finish. That sentence was devastating.”

“Hey Houston? We have a fucking GINORMOUS problem.”

“My mouth is watering, it’s like ‘Give me more, bitch!’”

“What the fuck are we doing here?”

“Well Philly Cream Cheese, we meet again.”

“I don’t like it, but I need to try it because I need answers.”

“It’s a dead watermelon, why am I so fucking scared?”

“It’s like when I lived in New York and it struck midnight: I’m doing two lines now.”

“Oh my god. At first I thought I was eating a hot dog, then I was like it’s cold and it’s also watermelon.”

“Fuck, and I mean FUCK, whoever came up with this.”

“Next up on this nonstop thrill ride, we have nacho Dorito chips dipped in marshmallow cheese sauce.”

“Yep, yep, yep. Wow!”

“I got laxative number two of the day: Cheese Whiz.”

“This is a sight I never thought I’d see in my lifetime, let alone yours.”

“I hope this microwave doesn’t give me radiation and I just drop dead on the spot! That would suck.”

“Nothing screams party like putting marshmallows in queso.”

“Can you believe I gave this any sort of optimism?”

“It’s not even gross, it’s just off-putting.”

“I’m done giving my energy to this!”

“I love peanut butter and I love pickles. What I don’t love is this bullshit.”

“I have pickles in my fridge, but I really like those ones, and don’t want them ruined, because no offense to that man, some fucking idiot on the Internet.”

“I’m not proud of this, but when I was younger, I used to drink pickle juice.”

“I was gonna say I had hope for this, but look where that fucking got me.”

“What in the Jimmy Neutron? Gotta blast!”

“Hello? Is anybody there? Where is everyone? What the fuck was that?”

“You will never catch me dead with a pickle and peanut butter. If you do, that’s the saddest way I went out.”

“I am sorry to the person in the Tiktok who I called an idiot, you are not as big an idiot as the fucking watermelon person. Unless you also came up with that. In that case? Idiot.”

“I think I’m making a mistake, but my hopes are incredibly high.”

“I’m a blue raspberry bitch!”

“This is gonna take out a tooth.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve always wanted a lollipop in the shape of a foot!”

“We’re gonna take some of these crack rocks and-“

“Ew, it has like wig hairs coming off of it. Okay bitch, me too!”

“It has some terrestrial vibes. Like, Saturn who?”

“Oh. Oh! Ow. Oh?”

“That was enjoyable.”

“If I wasn’t so scared of becoming Jack Sparrow and losing three teeth, that’d be a 10 out of 10.”

[angrenwen]

"I set my sandwich down and go back and open the package to the questionable chicken. “Honestly, it might be a little off. Can you still eat it? I’ve got...”

“I eat.”

“Okay. Bones too?”

“Yes.”

I break the bird into pieces and drop it, kicking each piece under the fridge. The compressor kicked on, so I only had hints of whatever noises might be coming up from there. 

“You good? Thirsty?”

“Iccccce? Please?”

“Oh, sure, no problem.” I just hit the ice maker button until there’s a handful of cubes on the floor, and use the broom to knock them under. 

“Better?”

“Yesss. Thank you.”

“Sure. Listen I need to eat and take a nap. You’re- you’re just stuck under there, I guess, or you’d have gone through the garbage, right?”

“Ssstuck, yes.”

“Okay. Just under the fridge or can you move under other things.”

“Sometimes move. In same place.”

“In the same apartment, or you gotta move to other fridges.”

“Same... home.”

“Ah. Okay. Um, well, I’ll try to remember to kick stuff under the fridge for you.”

“Hurt?’

“Um, my back. I just need to sleep, I’ll be okay.”

“Make better.”

“That’s the plan, friend.” I sure hope that, when I go to sleep and wake back up, there won’t be a weird pile of chicken smooshed under the fridge. Or maybe I hope that there is? 

When I wake up, it’s like my back had never hurt at all. And when I kick an ice cube under the fridge, I hear a soft noise and sigh and ‘thank you’, so. Not just some weird pain induced hallucination.

It goes on like that for weeks. The Thing Under the Fridge especially likes moldy cheese and stale tortillas, but they’ll eat just about anything. Their English gets better the more I talk to them, though they still struggle with sibilants. I assume because of the way the mouth is formed. 

They’re friendly and polite and haven’t been menacing at all, and the one time I ducked down with a flashlight and looked under the fridge I heard chuckling from under the couch. “Cannot see, always move,” they said.

“Fair enough, but I had to try.”

“Understand.” They sounded very amused.

Sometimes they hang with me in the living room, under the couch, and watch tv with me. They really like Umbrella Academy, as it turns out. 

“How long have you lived here?”

“Where?”

“This... this place. You came with the apartment, right?”

“No.”

“No? The fridge?”

“I came with you. Always you.”

It took me a moment. 

A long moment. 

“You’re the monster who lives under my bed.”

“Yessss. Always with you, where you live, I live.” They sounded pleased.

“Huh. Cool. You need anything?”

“Ice?”

“You got it, pal.”

It’s kind of nice. I always have company, but I have privacy if I ask for it. 

They like to hear about the world, and sometimes we listen to audiobooks or I read out loud. I made sure every room has some place for them so they can follow me, or not, as they like.

And, well, there was this... I don’t like talking about it. 

But I was half asleep, and someone came in through my bedroom window. 

Honestly, I don’t think he thought anyone would be home. I’d gotten in from out of town very late, and had been dropped off, too tired to drive, so my car wasn’t out front. 

But he advanced on my bed, lifting his fist, and by the time I was working myself up into panic, well, I suppose the front of his foot must have gone under the bed.

Like I said, they’ll eat just about anything. 

If you want to help support the writer, I have a ko-fi!

(I am disabled and unemployed, tips really help me out! This is accurate as of March of 2024.)"

You drop a small piece of food on the floor, and decide to kick it under the oven/couch/whatever because you can’t be bothered to pick it up. As you’re walking away, you hear a very quiet “Thank you!” from under it.