#<- that tag bc yeah im too comfortable
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so… is any one else in excruciating pain when they ovulate?
#i’ve got a bunch of little cysts in only one ovary and i still ovulate/have regular periods so like…#we think it’s pocs but at the same time this pain rn isn’t normal#someone send help#my actual vagina itself aches like it’s literally throbbing and not in a good way#and i’ve got the worst cramps#tmi#<- that tag bc yeah im too comfortable#tw periods
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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NICHE FANNART GO!!!!
My fiancé just finished GOT for the first time last night (at 4am with me)
#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#game of thrones#jon snow#tormund giantsbane#jon x tormund#<< I DIDNT KNOW THIS WAS A TAG HELLO IM SO OUT OF TOUCH WITH THIS FANDOM FFR ToT#anyway yeah them <3#Im STILL working on the update dont worry i just had to watch my comfort shows/movies (GOT and Hellraiser bc im mentally unwell)#not comics#ive got another piece of them i did last night/this morning if anyone wants me to post that one too
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Evening, ladies
#🪴#im remaking this blog. if you havent noticed#i felt awkward making a big text post about it so im just keeping it condensed in the tags#but anyway all the tofupupper posts are over on @tofupupper as an archive#for anyone that wants it#im probably gonna be posting about animals and botany here.. bc its what i enjoy right now#i used to really enjoy tofupuppers content but things got rough during the pandemic#and i was in a bad place. and i was just constantly getting anons from people venting to me#or talking about their mental health and im just so bad at comforting and constantly seeing#people tell me they want to die and such on my fan blog for a shiba inu was just so stressful#even though i havent posted tofu content since 2021 i still got messages like that now and then. 700 messages in my askbox rn#but anyway#im better now and i hope everyone is too#and i will still be rbing donation posts at peoples request here#i just felt awkward rbing them to a blog i didnt use otherwise#so. yeah!. wildlife biology and plants now. maybe other stuff#you dont have to stick around if thats not your thing#goodbye for now
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i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun
#i hate that this stance is also seen as childish#like i have a full time job & often have mandatory overtime i have income already#if u need to to make ends meet then thats different do what u can to help urself live as comfortably as possible#but holy fuck pleasure as an adult is not limited to sex & money & watching tv#besides u know not a single one of the people who say this are willing to actually pay what the arts worth#its like 'well not me but other people would love it!' yeah okay u know a lot of other people are going to see the#over $100 price tag and go 'i like it but not that much! other people however' like just shut up. honestly. be quiet.#if i speed ran my art and low balled myself to a $15/hour rate the lowest would still be like $120#which is not worth it AT ALL bc i just paid MORE to sit on my ass & look at eggs#and. again. is underselling myself for both experience & time. but people think $80 full body comms are too expensive#do u think im so stupid to not expect to get scammed when even 'easy' things are over $100#but no ur right why would i have fun with something when i could instead cause myself infinite stress over it perfect thanks#do not give me advice about doing comms i do not want to do comms#if u see me doing comms im in a very dire situation. like thats a last resort for me.
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Something about sleeping in your childhood room that's too small, in your childhood bed you no longer fit in, and feeling like you can't leave because all the world is your enemy and this is the only place they won't catch you.
#original art#vent art#recall draws#my ocs#sona#idk thats just the tag ill use for now since hes becoming a bit of a repeated drawing#bc again its based on a plushie whos kind of my comfort object#but yeah. feeling rlly bad again#things are rlly bad#maybe at least itll convince me to make more art just to express the things im feeling#instead of writing bullshit at my friends whove already heard too much too often from me
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finding your stellar association
Moving Group, also called a Stellar Association.
A loose grouping of stars which travel together through space.
On their first trip to Earth, the brothers find a lost part of their family.
✨️ Click here to read on AO3 ♡
🌙 Celestial AU by @ashwii
☄️ 2,916 words || rottmnt au
☀️ based on/inspired by this ask
"I don't think this is working." Raph whispered.
"You kidding? This is working just fine!" Leo replied.
"I'm pretty sure people noticed something's off." Raph said, glancing around.
"Relaaaax big guy, just enjoy our trip in the city that never sleeps." Leo said in a laid back manner.
Raph sighed but said nothing more as Leo stepped forward, taking the lead and turning to face his brothers as he walked backward. "Raph, please, if someone had suspected anything, we wouldn't be walking around freely like that." He pointed out. "Also even if they did, we'd still be fine. We're immortal!"
"Somewhat immortal." Donnie corrected him without looking away from the scenery around them. The skyscrapers and the giant screens with bright lights had magnified Donnie. They never had the chance to see them like this from their home. Though Leo understood his enthusiasm and shared it a bit, he was still bitter seeing the light pollution.
"It's almost the same thing." Leo shrugged. "What matters right now is our perfect surprise to April."
"We'll blow her mind!" Mikey exclaimed as he jumped by Leo's side. He wrapped one arm around Leo's shoulders and began walking backward as well.
"Definitely, her expression will be priceless." Leo grinned.
Raph swiftly scooped them up, holding them from their shells with ease, while being careful to not rip their clothes. He didn't want to lose time by going through another search for clothes that would fit and hide their... well, whole situation. "Will you two stop walking so carelessly? You'll trip and fall into a sewer or something." He scolded them. "This isn't space, this is New York."
"Thanks for the reminder, Raph."
He glared at Leo, knowing well he could see Raph's expression even though shadows covered his face thanks to his hoodie. Without thinking twice, he dropped Leo and kept walking with Mikey in his left hand.
While Leo yelped, Mikey cheered, "Free ride!"
Donnie ignored his twin as he kept walking, other than snorting at his fall. "Raph, are you sure we're on the right track?" Then he asked, eyes still glued to everything around them.
"Yeah, I have seen her walking to her apartment. More than once." The eldest replied, thinking of the days he'd try to make his friend's tiring days better with the perfect sunny weather.
"I know, and I saw her walking to her apartment too during some nights-"
"Don't underestimate yourself, Dee. We all know it's not just nights but days too, as our dear insomniac brother." His twin cut him with a smirk.
"Shut up, Leo." Donnie glared at him. "You are as guilty as I am. Anyways, what I was saying is that seeing the planet like this" -he gestured at himself to emphasize his point- "is much different than the way we watched this planet from up there."
"I know, but trust me we're not lost." Raph said.
"I trust you, Raph, but I was thinking maybe using public transport for our favors wouldn't be bad." Donnie offered.
Ah, so this is what he actually wants, Raph thought. "We're not using the subway."
"But Raph-"
"We can explore human things later." Raph stated. "Our priority is finding April. Then we can do whatever we want."
Donnie huffed but didn't say anything else. He had gotten distracted by something else once again quickly. Raph kept an eye on him, just like how he kept an eye on Leo and Mikey too. This was their first time on Earth's surface, so it was better to be careful. Something his brothers were not good at doing. He constantly had to be sure that Donnie didn't steal something that caught his attention, Mikey didn't accidentally trip and fall, and Leo-
Raph gave a startled yelp with the sudden weight on his shell. He turned quickly, only to see Leo. "What in the name of Venus are you doing on my back?"
"Simple, I wanted a free ride too." Leo answered as if it was the most normal thing ever. "No fire shell means possibly perfect traveling spot."
"Is it comfortable?" Mikey asked.
"Yep." Leo answered.
"I bid for the next shell ride." Mikey announced.
Raph rolled his eyes. Leo's weight was barely noticeable now. He kinda liked it, even. It wasn't like he could hold his brothers close before, and just like Leo mentioned, his shell wasn't on fire, and he wasn't ablaze like in his actual form-
His eyes grew with realization.
Raph, the celestial being and protector of the Sun, could hug his brothers with no issue like this.
And his first victim was Donnie. He pulled Donnie into a hug with his free arm, causing his brother to yelp with confusion. He also pulled Mikey into a proper hug. The two brothers looked at him confusedly, while Raph smiled widely. Leo had a knowing smile on his face and wrapped his arms around his big brother's neck.
"What's happening?" Donnie asked, trapped in Raph's arms.
"That's called hugging, Donnie." Leo informed helpfully.
"I know that, I don't understand why now we're hugging."
"Because this hug is different." Raph said happily. "No eclipse, no melting, no burning."
Donnie and Mikey's faces lightened up with realization.
Mikey immediately wrapped his arms around Raph's arm, "You're a genius!" he exclaimed. Donnie gave an offended gasp, and Leo laughed with joy. He wasn't sure if the happiness was simply because he enjoyed his brothers' antics or because of Raph's infectious (literally, considering how Leo could feel his emotions sometimes) joy.
They had forgotten they were standing on the pavement until someone bumped at them. To be fair they were taking the back streets to be sure no one noticed them, hiding in the shadows. And yet, Raph looked down only to be met with a really short person.
"Oh, pardon me." Raph apologized, stepping back. He didn't notice the trash bins behind him, which he (and his brothers) fell into.
The stranger only could watch as the boys immediately squirmed out of the trash pile. Leo's face was in disgust, Donnie looked like he was going to throw up, and Mikey casually shook all the trash off him. Raph groaned at the smell, "April will not like this surprise."
They all seemed to have forgotten about their disguise and about the stranger until they heard a weak whisper:
"My sons?.."
The brothers, with a mix of panic and confusion, suddenly remembered the stranger. After a second of silence, "Excuse me, what?" Leo asked.
"How... what..?" The man whispered again, looking as confused as they were.
"Sir, I think you're mixing us up with someone else." Raph said, trying to stay calm.
"Definitely, with some other teenagers with greenish skin-" Donnie started but couldn't finish when Leo elbowed and glared at him. "-which is certainly because of all of this trash. Definitely." Donnie quickly added, trying to save the situation.
"You're turtles." The stranger stated.
"See, you ruined everything." Leo glared at Donnie.
"It's you who doesn't have his hoodie anymore." The twin with the purple moon-themed hoodie retorted.
Leo gasped and looked at himself, realizing that Donnie was right.
Mikey giggled while Raph tried hard to not push them back to the trash bin.
"You..." The small man's whispers turned to soft sobs, gaining their attention again.
Now, they may be celestial beings in disguise of mortals (kind of) with great power, but when it came to comforting a stranger, the only thing the boys could do was stare at him or look at each other in hopes someone knew what exactly to do.
In short, they didn't know what to do.
Mikey walked towards the man, putting a hand on his shoulder, "There, there..." he said comfortingly. Then turned to his brothers in a scolding manner, "I can't believe you guys made an old man cry!"
"O-old man?!" The stranger stuttered in an offended way, turning his head to face Mikey.
That was when Mikey saw that the man was not exactly a man, but a rat... rat-man? He gasped, "OMIGOSH ARE YOU LIKE US?"
"What do you mean like- IS HE A RAT?" Raph said, maybe a little too loudly, once he joined Mikey's side.
Both were hit in the face with the rat-man's tail. "You boys need a lesson on manners." He scolded as he wiped his tears. Then he smiled softly, looking at each of them one by one, "But I think it is right to say I am like you. Sort of."
"What, no, how? We never heard of another celestial being. We've been around for years! There is no way I or Leo or any of us could miss out on someone else out there." Donnie circled the man, no more uncomfortable around him. Instead, his eyes shined with interest toward the new information and person.
"Celestial beings? Oh, no, boys. You are wrong." The stranger shook his head with a sheepish smile.
"Then what are you?" Donnie asked.
"A mutant."
"What's a mutant?" Mikey asked this time.
"Me, and you?"
"No, we're not mutants. We'd know if we were mutants." Leo said, getting more and more confused by the passing seconds.
"Then what are you?" The rat-man asked, raising a brow.
"Uh, celestial beings. Protectors of space stuff." Leo answered. "You know... stars, moon, sun, comets..."
The stranger looked at them as if they had grown another head. He looked confused, then like he was grieving, and then strangely relieved. Finally, he sighed. "We can talk about it later. Now, I believe I never introduced myself. I am Splinter."
Raph shook his hand. "I am Raph, this is Mikey," -Mikey waved- "Leo," -Leo smiled- "and Donnie." -Donnie nodded.
"Nice to meet you, boys." Splinter smiled. Something told Leo that smile hid more emotions.
"Since we have met, may you explain why you called us your sons now?" Donnie interrupted.
All the eyes turned to Splinter, awaiting an answer. He was clearly hurt, but also there was a small piece of joy sparkling in his eyes. "Of course, but it would be better if we talked about it somewhere else." He looked around him. Right, they were still standing on the pavement. "Somewhere safer would be much better."
For some reason, Raph trusted him. Something about the way he looked at them, the way he talked... it was comforting. Almost familiar. Almost. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I know somewhere we could talk." He said. "A friend... I bet she wouldn't mind."
☆☆☆
"You brought a stranger?!" April whisper-yelled.
"I wouldn't call him a stranger." Leo said, looking back at the living room his brothers and Splinter were chilling in.
"Leo, you literally met the guy half an hour ago!"
He turned his attention back to her, "Look. I know it sounds weird, but I feel like I know this guy."
She huffed, leaning on the kitchen counter. "It does sound weird, Leonardo."
Eugh boy, she's using full names.
"Maybe he is just a guy you saw while watching Earth on a nice night."
"No, April, this is different." Leo insistent. "Way too different."
April looked towards the living room, "I can't believe you manage to come for a visit with a 'trick' you figured out and on your first trip you end up befriending a stranger who calls you his sons and bring him into my apartment ." She looked back at him tiredly. "Have you ever heard of 'stranger danger' by any chance?"
"Aww, come on April. You're happy that we are here, aren't you? So what if we got company, it's fine." He pulled her into a side hug. "If he does anything bad, we can handle it."
"If he does anything bad, I am throwing you all out of my window." She stated.
"Isn't it a bit brutal?"
"With my bat." She added.
"Gee, okay, okay." Leo moved away with his hands up. "You win. Now, can we listen to his tale?"
April sighed, "Alright. Let's hear what rat-man has to say."
Leo beamed with a wide grin.
"And you better take a bath, you all stink!" She gagged as they walked towards the living room.
"Priorities, April. Priorities." Leo sang.
She rolled her eyes.
In the living room, Splinter was sipping from the tea April had offered him. A stranger he may be, he still was her guest. Meanwhile, the boys had sat on the couch, facing Splinter, who sat on the chair. There was an awkward quiet in the room, but Leo wouldn't call it an uncomfortable one.
"Alright, we all are here and ready." Leo announced, sitting on the couch's arm. April leaned against the wall, standing next to him. "You can start your tale."
Splinter took a breath. Then he began talking. He talked about the years he fought as a movie star and then as a Battle Nexus champion (whatever that meant, the boys didn't know). He told them how a yokai-
"What's a yokai?" Mikey interrupted, gaining a shush! from the others. Yet Splinter explained to them that the yokai were people who looked similar to them since birth.
Then he continued to explain that a yokai named Draxum caused the whole mess. "He wanted to mutate… mutate four turtles." Splinter said, words as if they hurt him physically, grimaced. It wasn't hard to guess this memory was painful for him. "You." He gestured at them. "He believed with my DNA, you'd be the perfect warriors. For what, I do not know exactly. I disagreed and fought against him. Things… got out of control pretty fast." He looked down at his hands. There was a moment of silence. None of the boys or April talked, giving him the time to gain the strength to continue.
Finally, Splinter talked again, "I ended up like this. A mutant."
"And the turtles?" Mikey asked.
"They… they didn't make it out… alive." Splinter shut his teary eyes tightly. Then he opened them to look at the celestials with a new emotion. "At least, I thought so until tonight."
"But how can we be them?" Donnie questioned. "It doesn't make sense."
"I'd recognize you no matter what. I don't know how, but you're them. Even your names, they're the same." Splinter's voice was excited, and he smiled widely. "Raphael, Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo. The names of the four Renaissance painters."
"You're telling me you named mutated turtles after Renaissance painters?" Leo asked with a smile.
"Yes, for reasons. But that's unimportant. What is important is, do you know how you got your names?" Splinter leaned towards the boys with determined eyes. He knew he could prove the truth. He had to.
Leo opened his mouth and then closed it. Noticing he had no answer, he turned to Raph. He was the oldest of them, he'd know this, right? But Raph looked as lost as he was.
"I never thought how we always knew our names actually." Raph revealed. "I just knew mine and yours my whole life."
"See? And I believe you have some knowledge of fighting, correct?" Splinter asked.
April answered instead of them this time, "Surprisingly, they know some fighting moves." Then she turned to them. "You never explained where you learned them or how you ended up with your weapons."
Raph looked lost once again. "Fighting is more of an instincts thing." He admitted.
"But our weapons are inspired by our observation of humans." Mikey chimed in.
"What even this has to do with all of this?" Donnie turned to Splinter.
"Draxum created you using my DNA so he could have the perfect fighters." Splinter explained. "The perfect warriors." He repeated.
"And you're a fighter, right." Donnie was putting the pieces together, still unbelievingly.
"See? How else would I know all of that?" Splinter laughed, even though his boys looked uncertain.
Until Mikey's face lit up with realization as if he remembered something he had forgotten, a memory buried deep down. Something from a long time ago. "You are the one that wished for a chance for his lost sons." He gasped. Everyone turned to look at him. "Please, give them another chance in life. Let their souls live the life they deserved, and..."
"... wherever they are, let them be happy." Splinter finished with tears in his eyes once again. "Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, my sons."
The gap between the silence and loud exclamations was no longer than a millisecond.
Mikey ran and hugged Splinter, holding him tightly. Raph was laughing while Donnie smiled and teared up, and Leo was speaking about how he couldn't believe all of this.
"First we get a sister," He gestured to April, who in return smiled at him with equal excitement, "and now a dad! What are the chances of this?"
"Life's full of surprises." April sang.
Leo grinned at her. "It sure is."
He suddenly got pulled into the hug with April by none other than the eldest turtle. Donnie was already a part of it, and Leo could see how he seemed to like it.
And while none of them said, the boys felt something missing in their lives being filled. They knew the hug was right. Being together with Splinter- their dad!- and April was right. This was right. They knew it.
That night the stars glowed brighter, and so did the moon. There was an unexpected comet passing by Earth. The next morning the sun had never been this bright and warm, yet not tiringly hot. It was like everything was right. Everything was perfect.
#its short but i think i wrote good?#i like how it turned out :] hope you'll like it too#this au makes me very happy#rottmnt#rottmnt fanfic#rottmnt celestial au#what was my writing tag again???#uh oh#i forgor#im either too good with titles or too bad if you cant tell#ooh also yeah new fic format bc i want my posts to be pretty hehe#aaand im rabling in tags again bye ✨️#hurt/comfort#maybe???#it gets emotional#fluff#Implied/Referenced Character Death#but not really#nighty write y
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today i realized ive had my loser plush for.....what...2 years now??? and already shes a bit worn from all hte time ive spent w her (colors are a bit de-saturated, has some wrinkles/creases, shes a bit dirty too but im gna clean her again soon)
it makes me kinda emotional like . wow to be loved is to be changed
#idol cube#ive been sleeping w this plush like every night and i love bringing her with me when i go out (not all the time bc im embarrassed)#i mostly just bring her to these groups i go to + therapy seshes#dont think ive ever had a comfort item like this before#but yeah i noticed shes a bit disheveled looking when i saw my buddy's loser plush n i was like#WOW urs looks brand new still (we got ours at around the same time) SO I WAS LIKE omg. ok . wow i rlly do love this plush huh#object love#<- i feel like it goes into my obj tag too i love plushies so much
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i kinda forgot how mochizuki does expressions so well that they speak more than texts in an image
esp for someone like oz who has identity crisis going on for him that he doesn't really care who he is as a person so long as it makes others happy (the way later he could care less if people see him as jack the hero rather than just oz)
but the shock in oz's expression as though he had been read so clearly by sharon's words.
also idk it never crossed my mind while i was rereading, but i love that this is just in chapter 2 -- that things would go bad if oz should ever lose sight of himself
bc that's the gist of oz's whole character arc, inching away from just being whatever people want him to be, shying away from his emotions, and accepting himself and what it means to be himself - emotions and past - alike.
#'avil why are you reading pandora hearts again' girl's depressed. turns to comfort media.#tbh im kinda surprised though that i can still pick up new stuff with oz bc oz is my big comfort character#however i also feel like i know /enough/ that i didnt think id pick up more#the treasure lies in the little details lol#also yeah im just liveblogging/trying to infodump to cheer myself up lmao#feel free to block the liveblog tag idk how long ill be reading ph today before i switch to things i should probably be working on#anyways#the thing about oz is that hes always rejected himself#you see it in the way he talks to break about himself#or like. he hates himself so much that he rejects alice and gilbert later down the line when he finds out the truth about himself#to lose sight of himself like that means the end#i guess for me his story has always been about growth from that and it feels nice to fall back into that and watch him grow#anyways if i turn into an oz blog. you know lmao#avil reads ph#i always wanted to reread ph again but the starting chapters are kinda too slow for me alksjdfalkh#just throw me straight into the isla yura arc and beyond#you know another thing though. that rejection of oz himself. parallel that with leo's rejection of self later that he hides away and allows#oswald to take over blahblah#*i dont think this makes sense im just blabbing now*
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Yall,,,,,,,,,, im modding my pc copy of p4g to hell and back bc ive finished the game 3 times and homies,,,,,, some of the comments on these mods are sending me.
(On the gay romance mod) "this mod is incredibly creepy, this chara is a minor and we shouldnt be modding in dating options for them. Probably best to report this"
Bruh. One its cut content still in the game files, and just made active again. Two look me in the eyes and tell me word for word what the canon lovers romance flag is. Tell me exactly how the 16yr old protag starts dating rise. Ill wait.
#im just gonna send this out into thw wild without tags and hope no one cancels me#to any of my followers who care#its been a while since i played so i dont remember exactly why shes bawling#i think bc she decided she did wanna go back to showbiz but her movie role was replaced by a competitor#anywho she is sobbing buckets#and the protag can either hug her or stand there like a fucking clown and let her cry publically at the steak skewer place#i didnt realize thats the romance flag so i went#my protag isnt going to be an asshole so im going to comfort her and give her a hug#and then the romance flag pinged#note i was trying for yukiko or chie at the time but that cancelled that#my boy is not a two timer#but yeah our bestie that we fished out of the garbage telling us that were special to him and that he wants to hold our hand CANNOT#be worse than that#maybe after i mod all this ill finish my aa playthrough#my switch copy is just sitting there and i feel bad since a few of my mutuals love it and i feel like it too could take over my head hole#but souyo has owned my entire ass for the past 4 years so alas im gonna put another 200hrs into a 60hr game
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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thinking abt linebeck’s coat. something very alluring about it for some reason. so im just gonna ramble about it here instead of in the tags for once
you can probably start a fight between the people who think it’s a coat and people who think it’s a jacket but i think it’s a coat moving on
the character designs are interesting to look at due to the proportions and art style so it is hard to imagine how long his coat would be but i think it would go down to a bit above ankles because i think that’s good. it’s a bit more dramatic a bit more impressive(?) that way and would probably lead to problems tbh
based on some of the official art i imagine that the stripe at the bottom might’ve been a late addition since it’s missing in the bit of official art most used to represent linebeck. tbh linebeck is inconsistent in very tiny ways in the official art but that’s mostly if you’re gonna be nit-picky or bored enough to notice
his coat is so good it’s simple but very recognizable and stands out among the other character designs in ph and its just. yknow good character design
its also surprisingly good for headcanons and stuff and because i mostly take a lot of canon as suggestion i have a good handful of headcanons tagged specifically onto his coat (one of which is the length of it ig)
i like to imagine that he made it himself. i’ve seen stuff where people write linebeck as being able to fix link’s tunic when it gets torn and i feel like the logical extreme of that is that he made his own coat. i think that adds a layer of. importance to it? it’s unique it’s solely linebeck’s it’s tied to him because he made it with his own hands and maybe it can represent something about him that way?
i like to imagine that in addition to the normal pockets one the outside he’s got a whole lot of little pockets on the inside of the coat, like so many pockets that he hides little trinkets or tools or things he steals in either to keep or to take back to his ship for whatever reason. some of the pockets have little flaps of whatever they’re called that can be secured in place with a small button to keep stuff in
he’s got like pencils and a compass and little notes and tiny figurines and cool rocks and feathers and all kinds of little things he thought was worth keeping around and due to that his coat is uncomfortable sometimes but if he knows for certain he’s going to be busy doing stuff he’ll empty out all of the pockets and only leave the important stuff so that it’s lighter and less uncomfortable. link finds his coat lying around at some point and is caught so badly off-guard by how surprisingly heavy it is with all of the bullshit he keeps in all of his pockets
i also imagine he values it a lot, maybe to the point of being really possessive and protective of it, not letting link touch it and if it gets torn or stained he shuts down and has to fix it before he can move on to anything else, and if he can’t fix it at the time it leave him kind of overwhelmed or upset until he can fix it. he has a lot stocked-up materials specifically for his coat to avoid a situation where he has to go for while with his coat damaged
backing away from headcanon territory, his coat is just a cool bit of character design and has just been lodged in my mind for a while. its cool and never brought up within the game (obviously) and i guess a last little closing thought is that in the cutscene where oshus teleports link above linebeck it kinda looks like his coat moves when he tries to catch link and i think that’s cool
#afraid of clogging ph tag so ill just tag this as#linebeck#character development not hiding in the tags this time#salty talks#this is how i talk on discord but i fear initiating social interaction so heres this#im in some kind if weird denial ever since that last totk trailer bc i think ive been lowkey constantly overwhelmed ever since seeing it#ugh. i miss linebeck. totk scares me and so does the fact that i cant get myself to be as excited as everyone else seems to be able to be#typing this was painful bc i turned off my autocorrect on my phone a while back bc it fucking sucked and now its like#man i am bad at typing on a phone holy SHIT#coat post thinking about linebeck helps me feel good. also projection he’s my go-to for projection when like anything happens#i imagine his coat as like. a comfort item to some degree. like it’s something he made himself and he’s had it for a very long time#like i have a comfort item or two of my own so its like. yeah i get how it feels to worry about it getting damaged or lost#so within the bounds of my ideas linebeck cares about his coat in a similar manner he does his ship. hes autistic abt both of them#his scarf falls into this category too but that actually has more actual backstory about it bc i can’t be normal about anything about him#still talking in the tags. oh well. im going to snap#i have planned a 17 chapter linebeck backstory. this is not related to that but i feel like its worth just. mentioning#i could probably make his coat represent some aspect of his identity if i wanted. like. maybe its a representation of what he really wants#i keep the coat in most au designs but the two au designs that dont have the coat are where linebeck’s identity is a bit fucked
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im sooooooo fucking excited to be driving so far to see fob like genuinely i love traveling and love adventures and experiencing new places and things like this and i love fob so much i would literally do anything for them so a 13 hour drive from washington to utah is so whatever and just like. idk it's gonna be such a special whole experience it is going to be Everything im So Excited
#the only thing that would make this better would be them announcing an actual pnw date too. so i can see them twice. please fob#and like to get more deep in the tags. i rly have lost myself over the past months like. idk who i am anymore#ive lost meaning and purpose in my life but i am so ready to find it again. to find myself. to learn who i am#and i so deeply feel like this is going to be a big part of that. going on such a big trip with my sister and her bf helping pay for it all#myself doing something New and out of my comfort zone#n like i talked w my therapist a couple days ago that traveling and going to concerts and doing stuff like this like. Living. can be my new#meaning and purpose and that is everything to me. this is everything to me. fob being part of this journey so thoroughly is so important#so special bc they are like. truly and as parasocially as possible the one constant safety in my life#so yeah im just. im so excited. july could not come sooner.#txt
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ig my problem is that when ppl who ive never spoken to who dont and will never have a reason to refer to me ask my pronouns it feels too much like the "are you a boy or girl" question. like im cool when theyre asking everybody bc they plan on knowing and talking to all of us. but when they approach me and only me and i dont know them it's like Oh youre just uncomfortable with the fact that i confuse you and you need to be able to classify me
#also it's always cis ppl who do this. lol#ik they dont mean it like that and ik they think theyre being Progressive and Accepting#but it makes me feel unsafe. tbh. like theyre jst telling me that they Know#and i need to either out myself or lie and misgender myself#kind of why i dont tell anyone unless weve spoken before and they ask#much more comfortable to have plausable deniability while not rly forcing myself into the closet#i present the way i do for Me not so you can come up and say 'hey youre confusing and weird what should i call you'#like leave me aloneeee#and it's kind of insulting bc im as much a butch girl as i am a trans guy and it feels like i cant rly be that first one anymore??#like i Am trans but not every percieved girl who isnt feminine is and same with nonmasculine percieved boys#and unless that person tells you they are or someone who knows the person refers to that person that way then you shouldnt assume#idk. like it feels too close to those 'transvestigators.' even with the best intentions why are you looking so close?#like my cis dad actually made a rly good point abt it once#he was @ an orientation when he went back to college and everybody had to write their pronouns on their name tag#and obv he had the whole Old Cis Dude thing of 'im a dude cant u tell'#but also he was like 'why do you need to talk about me. when im talking to you my pronouns are you/yours and i/me'#like yeah!! why ARE you talking about me???#teachers i kind of get bc sometimes when bringing up a point someone made or saying whos in a group they use the 3rd person#but fucking Stacy sitting behind me in chemistry or some shit doesnt need to know#if u rly need to refer to me idk maybe ask what my name is??? or just say 'that person.' it's not hard.#like this last bit is just a Me thing bc both r technically correct. but id rather have someone assume one way or the other#They'ing me w/o me telling u to when u dont do that to other ppl might as well be outing me w/o us ever speaking#like i dont like being theyed for other reasons and generally i do think it's one of the more respectful options if you dont know someone#but dont!!! only refer to visibly trans/gnc ppl that way!! ur not being nice and depending on the place u cld even be putting us in danger#fred.txt
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i ordered some pronoun pins from an etsy shop and they arrived fine and well.... except for a the fact that a month later the same exact pins were delivered to me. again. so ive gotten twice the pins :(
#whoops ive talked too much in the tags lol. way to much.#anywya im not sad ive gotten more i just feel a lil bad for the shop owner...#i only got charged once i think they just forgot they send it the first time?? or thought it'd gotten lost so they send it again??? idk#this was a couple months ago... i never told them bc no one likes their mistakes pointed out + thats way to confrontational for me :]#idk what to do with them tho.... i do NOT have enough bags for that.#+ i dont want pronouns on every single thing#+ i also ordered pronoun pins from another shop and they are already on my main bag....#i now have 3x he/him and 3x he/they pins :P#thats way too much gender for me tbh.#sillyposting#he/him pins bc being out as a guy is somewhat easier for me than being out as a nonbinary-guy-ish.#OOH ALSO#so i have a he/him pin on my main bag. which i took with me on vacation.#vacation with my friends who've known me before i knew i was trans. aka they use my OG name and gender etc.#i dont particularry care to tell them bc that scary + i dont like change + i dont wanna be difficult + in this case its not that bothersome#i am very comfortable around them and am fine with whatever in their case. fr.#BUT YEAH#its already (hopefully) painfully clear that im hella gay so :/ plus during some parties i have mentioned using other pronouns when...#...people asked. but ive not directly approached any of them. and im not planning to.#im just curious about what they think about it. espcially since i wont approach them. idk what theyll do since...#not many people talk in 3rd person in front of you yaknow.#oH WELL#+ i also have a lil trans flag sticker on my laptop which they definitely couldve seen so =w=bb#OH WELL#its fine theyre good people.#+ i genuinely do not care how they handle it. im okay with everything. even no change. i have the same case with my parents. lol#anyway im even more curious about how people'll handle my pre-anything trans ass. hopefully people'll see me as a guy lol. help.#imma be meeting so many new people when i start uni its so scary...#first time being properly out in a space. why am i tearing up.....#:|
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yrkeby4ur8
#hi its personal post as tho tumblr is my diary in the tags while still being vague time bc my coping strats are failing me a little and#ig being able to essentially shout into the void is kinda nice like i cld physically write things down but i did a lot of that#already today w sssitnments and my fjfknging joints hurt so here we are!#ig theres also comfort in knowing someone somewhere probably read it. regardless of what they think/feel/the impression it gives them bc.#like. i exist! i guess? idk.#anyway that being said tw for talk of sh and upsettio spaghettio n stuff.#but yeah im like 🤏 close to relapsing with cutting or some sort of. idek.#and the only reasons im resisting are like. its been so long and itd be a shame to break that streak#which funnily enohgh mskes another part of me wana do it MoRE to like. idk. remember. and. punish ?? idk.#but we're ignoring him rn hes being a little too edgy.#and then bc it would feel like im being manipulative and ik if ppl find out they would probably be very . distressed.#and if it were me and i found out i know id be incredibly distressed and maybe a little scared and just knowing other ppl like it just#would not help the situation ykwim itd probably make things worse#also kinda too tired physically emotionally etc rn to do it and go thru it and the aftermath and having to clean up and take care and#trust myself to be. safe. enough. abt it.#but. now hear me out. IF i do it somewhere that isnt super obv or visible. i doubt theyll know anytime soon.#and if things go. in a way thats.. i dont think i can cope with then well ill prob end up right back in this feeling without the like#withstraint of someone who cares and wants to care abt themselves and others and want to control themself and behaviours and health#but that thought in itself feels manipulative bc its like saying either way i wld prob do it teehee like a threat but. its. oeurghgnnfd.#i just. am struggling to cope. i feel things. so much. and. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i think if i have made it this far for this long i will be able to keep going without resorting to that?#but i really do hate that its like. wld be. yeah like turbo bad.#a very small and fucked up part of me feels like if things do go bad then what does it even matter and even better if whoever were to know#that i HAD relapsed bc ig at that point its like. idc who is upset or disappointed or uncomf or scared of/for me and thinks im terrible bc#at that point like. things are all. tumbling (lol) snd messed up so if i am messed up then whatever! ig. ????#but umm. yeah. idk i guess im just frustrated with my own . caring abt being responsible and stuff#there was a time when i was not as likely to be able to resist consequences be damned#im like over here going thru the stages of grief on god fr fr no cap on the stack or whatever ppl say#in other brighter news i managed to get a bit of work done on one of my assignments and some needed friend time but wasnt actually able to
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