#<- man who is still affected by something that happened to them at 18/19

[carrieway]

almost 4got my goodnight image. Goodnight Stay Safe I Love You So Very Much.

ok goodnight. we will shadoop shooby doo our way out of this one team.

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Prompt-a-palooza; cw for bodily functions]

(1) (2) (3) (4) 5: awkward (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

Sharing a home with someone, regardless of square footage or relationship, involves an unavoidable amount of intimate physical knowledge. As an army mate of John's had once said eloquently, 'Well, I know what your shit smells like, don't I?'

Those things, John is prepared for. Has got used to, even, in his once-and-future living arrangement. He's a doctor, a combat veteran, and a widowed father. He's not exactly squeamish.

And he can personally attest, on several levels, to the fact that Sherlock is not a machine. You can't share a bathroom and not learn a few things about a person.

But… it's like some switch got turned on after their 'moment' in the stairwell.

(Because no, they had not marched back upstairs and worked things out per Mrs Hudson's request. As will shock no one, they had instead gone on their stubborn ways, and are ploughing through their daily lives willy-nilly as long as they can.)

(Which is not very long.)

Things keep happening.

- John, sitting guilelessly at the table, makes to stand just as Sherlock is walking by, and ends up with his nose essentially in the armpit of Sherlock's dressing gown. Which Sherlock is still wearing. After sleeping several hours in it and old pyjamas.

- John, Rosie in his lap, snorts awake to find himself-- well, both him and his daughter-- slumped into Sherlock on the sofa, credits scrolling on the television screen while Sherlock scrolls through his phone. And, unfortunately, both John and his daughter have managed to leave sleep-warm saliva on Sherlock's person, in two round spots on his breathtakingly expensive shirt. Sherlock, who must have noticed, seems unconcerned. John wonders briefly if he's woken up in an alternate dimension, then realises they'd been watching Doctor Who and it must have seeped into his psyche.

- John, now one hundred percent accustomed to wiping his toddler's nose, is so focused on his laptop screen when he hears a sneeze that he doesn't think (at all) before pulling out a tissue and reaching over to the face of the sneezer. That it's Sherlock is only a fact he recognises a split second too late.

- John, brain uncaffeinated, yawns while reaching across Sherlock to grab something off the table, and realises with a start that it's 6am and neither of them have cleaned their teeth. He stares at the mouth so close to his, at the man whose breath is bitter, yes, but somehow not unagreeable, then jerks away gracelessly. 'I'll just--' He points his thumb over his shoulder at the loo, and escapes, face flaming.

- And finally: John, going quietly mad when Rosie gets her first real, frightening fever. His training doesn't stand a chance of overriding his lizard brain, so he spends three days ignoring absolutely all personal hygiene and never leaving his daughter's side. When it finally breaks, when John feels like he can breathe again, he notices Sherlock is there, too, beside him, quietly watching her sleep restfully for the first time in what feels like long, dusty years. And he suddenly realises he must smell like -- well, like a locker room and a crowded pub rolled around in the dirt then pissed off a skunk, probably. And Sherlock is standing next to him as if he smells like roses. This, unexpectedly, makes John's stomach broil under a surge of affection, and he feels his eyes stinging for one horrifying, sleep-deprived moment.

Soon, after so many of these things, he can't help wondering if God or whomever is taking the piss. If fate is having a good old go at John H Watson by giving him the closest, most fulfilling relationship he's ever had-- and making it with the one person who can knock him flat on his arse and keep him there.

He's tempted, more than once, to give the sky two fingers. But he has yet to get around to doing it. He's too busy, for once, actually living.

[❤️]

[altocat]

all 50 of those Honest fave character prompts for Sephiroth

( @izunias-meme-hole )

........*cracks knuckles* OKAY.

1. Do you project onto this character?

All the time, every day. Like Sephiroth, I can often be avoidant, depressed, and overly attached to my loved ones. The struggle is real lmao

2. Did you always like this character?

Before falling into fandom hell, I didn't really notice him much other than Kingdom Hearts stuff. Or the occasional thirst post online.

3. What first drew you to this character?

Crisis Core making him a sad soft baby that everyone is mean to lmao

4. Did you initially dislike/hate this character?

No. I always thought he had a cool design and a badass voice.

5. If this character were a woman, would you honestly still like them? Or in reverse, what if they were a man?

Of course! Sephiroth is a fascinating character regardless. His backstory is very unique and I don't think that would change.

6. Do you have any nicknames or pet names you use for this character?

I mostly just call him Seph. Sometimes Kittyroth. Sometimes "Mr. Compassion" whenever I'm being sarcastic about him. And sometimes just SMUGFUCK because that's what he is.

7. Does the character’s age matter to you?

Nah. Like I said, he's a fascinating character regardless.

8. Does the character’s looks/design matter to you?

I feel like there are certain aspects of his character that you NEED to keep in--his catlike pupils, silver hair, etc. They are plot-related indicators of his heritage and genetics. Thirstposts aside, they are reminder that he is a lab-grown monster with alien blood running through his veins.

9. Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Not really. Seph is pretty unique. And honestly I'd rather not know someone like him irl lolol

10. Do you see yourself in this character even without projecting?

Physically? Hell no. Emotionally? Sometimes. But that's on rare occasions where we can actually tell what he's thinking and feeling.

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Watching Crisis Core cutscenes one rainy night in 2021.

12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

AU Redemption arc trilogy in which Zack and Aerith save Sephiroth from himself and he dismantles Shinra to become the planet's hero.

13. If you could draw effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what scene (s) would you draw for this character?

I'd really like to illustrate a lot of fic scenes. Especially the trippier Jenova-focused ones.

14. Are you physically attracted to this character?

...Yeah lmao But I don't ship myself or my self-insert with him because NO lolol I think he's aesthetically pleasing but I don't associate myself with him in any romantic sense. That's just weird to me.

15. Are your thoughts surrounding this character usually sexual, non-sexual, or a mix of both?

Non-sexual. I'm more interested in his character progression/fall into villainy. Like yeah he's attractive and there are some seductive aspects of his personality. But he's just more interesting to dissect as a villain.

16. Have you ever cried when thinking about this character? Genuinely?

Several times lolol usually after First Soldier updates.

17. Have you ever felt physical pain over this character? (ex: physical heartache).

Miiiight have happened once in dms with other fans (thanks @heraldofcrow)

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

SUFFER. SUFFERRRRRRR 😈NO COMFORT FOR YOU ALL IS PAIN AND ANGUISH.

19. Does this character serve as a stress ball/ security blanket for you? Something you run to after a bad day to feel safe or happier?

Oh totally. All the time. Imagine cute aggression but it's more angsty lol Angst aggression.

20. Do you feel affectionate towards this character?

For Sane!Sephiroth, yes. Very much so. Not so much after Nibelheim. Then he's just an evil little shit who needs to get clowned by Cloud again.

21. Are your feelings about this character platonic, romantic, or familial? All of these feelings at once maybe?

Platonic-familial. He's my precious baby boy. Who I have to hurt. LET ME HURT HIM.

22. Do you think you will always love this character?

I hope so! Assuming Square doesn't do something stupid.

23. Has this character permanently altered or impacted your psyche in a way you won’t forget?

I'm HERE. lmao There's your evidence.

24. Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

I never have dreams about him and it makes me SO MAD SZDFGHFDSA EVERYONE ELSE GETS BLORBO DREAMS EXCEPT FOR ME.

25. What kind of fan-fiction do you read about this character? If you don’t read fan-fics about them, why not?

I mostly like character studies. Or slow-burn AU fics with him. I'm currently reading The Fear of Falling Stars and it's sooooo good.

26. If you look for this character’s name on AO3, what tags are you including or excluding?

It really depends on the fic tbh.

27. Do you like to ship this character with other characters or do you prefer not to?

I SHIP HIM WITH EVERYONE *feral noises*

28. Do you get defensive about this character? If yes, then why?

Only in select instances. I don't like the dudebro logic of "well Sephiroth was always arrogant/evil even before Nibelheim and he can't be vulnerable or sensitive because that's not badass" because those are fundamentally not true. And an extreme disservice to his writing.

29. Do you affectionately bully this character?

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

30. Are you especially sensitive about this character?

He makes me sad. His story is heartbreaking.

31. Are you ashamed of liking this character?

Nope. Not at all.

32. If you could make this character a meal, what would you make them?

Pumpkin soup, of course!

33. Are you “blinded by love” for this character or do you accept any flaws they may have?

Oh not at all. I have said many many times and will keep saying that Sephiroth does not deserve a happy ending after everything he's done. He deserves to be destroyed for good. He's NOT a good guy, not any more at least. He's caused so much damage in so many horrible ways. There's no going back from that. I love the guy and I feel for him. But that's still no excuse for what he did.

34. Does this character inspire you with little things in your daily life?

Uhhhh no.

35. Has this character ever prevented you from sleeping because you can’t stop thinking about them?

@ me whenever First Soldier updates.

36. Do you feel a spiritual/soulmate connection with this character?

Idk. Probably not. He's my angsty trauma son. But I wouldn't go THAT far lol

37. Is your love for this character a secret from people you know in real life?

Nope. I will literally never shut up about Sephiroth to family or friends lololol

38. Do you tend to joke more about dying or killing for this character? Both? What causes the distinction?

NO because Sephiroth is a villain and the goal is to not become like him lolol

39. Do you feel lovesick over this character?

Nope. He just makes me casually distraught.

40. Are you very empathetic towards this character? When they feel a certain way in the story, do you feel those emotions too?

Very much so. Like I said before, his story is heartbreaking. I've ugly cried about him so many times in the past.

41. Do you prefer to interact with this character directly via self-insert/reader type content? Or do you enjoy seeing them mostly with other characters in the story and/or your OCs?

Other than background OCs, no. I prefer mostly just his relationship with canon characters.

42. If you could, would you write this character a song or poem?

It'd be cool to do something creepy with his relationship with Jenova...

43. What type of weather makes you think of this character?

Rainy days. Because he's depressing.

44. Which season makes you think of this character?

Fall.

45. Do you feel as if you are intimately familiar with this character?

At this point, I'd really like to hope so. They have certainly added a lot of new stuff that feels on point with my previous ideas for him. But I'm open to new stuff too!

46. How much do bad interpretations of this character upset you?

It really depends on how they characterize him as a person before Nibelheim. I don't really like how people sometimes equate his evil/smug/arrogant post-Nibelheim personality with his CC-era one. They're really completely different.

47. Does this character ever make you laugh sincerely?

He made some the FUNNIEST goddamn faces in Rebirth, just sayin'.

48. What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

R trilogy has the best overall design. Hair, eyes, and the sheer SIZE of him. All perfect.

49. What’s your favorite personality trait in this character?

Sane!Seph: His love for his friends

Insane!Seph: Him being a huge petty dick just for the sake of it

50. Link your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character. Whichever one (s) you are most comfortable with!

UHHHHHHHHHHH I'm just going to cheat and say THIS ENTIRE COMMUNITY because Seph-fans are BEST fans and we get along and get shit done. Best content. Best fandom space. No in-fighting or drama on his character. We're ALL peak 😎

[kitkatperce]

hey guys kuzaang headcanons.

(most found in my dc server........) 1; ok this MAY seem stupid though i Dont Care if anyone here thinks it is but avatars have like dreams of their memories from their past lives and can get like something close to psychosomatic pain ? The Point is aang getting these nightmares and crap at a sleepover w kuzon nd kuzon comforts him after cuz he woke kuzon up by screaming 2; kuzon would have loved the marble trick (which was replied to with 'kuzon would go beast mode over the marble trick actually' by tumblr user meeyow4419 which i think explains it very well very true.) 3; kuzon cant cook for shit 4; kuzon did NOt believe whatever sozin was sending out he gave each newspaper the stink eye. 5; kuzon taught aang all the fire nation dances and bumi cheered them on in the bg 6; bumi was definitely their wing man 7; we all know therescultural differences between the 4 nations. what i need to see is kuzon explaining things of rthe fire nation that aang doesnt understand and vice versa 8; kuzon kissing each and every one of aangs arrows. thank you 9; physical touch. slinging an arm over each others shoulder, hugging, kissing, holding hands, holding arms, laying on top of each other, putting legs over each other legs, touching knees, standing close to each other, kuzon doesn't know what personal space is!, kicking the others foot to get their attention, leaning into each others space, aang doing/playing with kuzons hair, falling asleep on each other, and more. they are really big on physical affection 10; dancing. just dancing I don't feel the need to elaborate. at festivals, in the kitchen, in the middle of a forest, wherever. just dancing 11; they frequently send letters to each other, and when they started dating there was an occasional love letter in there. 12; kuzaang kinda just happened they never actually were like. date me. they just. started dating I guess. they don't even know when it occured 13: drool when they sleep. 14; they also uh. cuddle when they sleep. kuzons woken up with a wet shirt more than once. he gets embarrassed when he realizes he drooled on his pillow the whole night. actually have an art piece 4 this! https://www.tumblr.com/kitkatperce/748416474997260288/wow-this-is-gay

15; promises that sound oddly like wedding vows. 16; hip hip hooray!!! x LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (after their first kiss) 17; moles x freckles 18; they share their food w each other. aang splits a lot of fruits (its usually an orange because he somehow always has one on hand) 19; aang gets very giggly and avoids eye contact after like. they kiss on the lips even once. 20; they both still blush like madmen with any physical affection 21; uncontrollable laughter 22; they don't care what time it is if the other is upset they r GOING to comfort them 23; aang sending super intense vibes to kuzon so he dreams of them sharing a sandwich together (im jk) 24; devotion. yeah ur my bsf ofc im in love with you and will find you and hang out with you in every universe. lets kiss 25; they both yap a whole lot but when it comes down to it kuzon loves to listen to aang blabber about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time 26; cheesy nicknames 27; air nomads dont marry but aang doesnt actually mind if kuzon is like 'my husband' or whatever he thinks its super endearing. some ppl say they are too young for marriage and aang has to explain tho LMAO 28; idiots doing idiotic things. get down from that tall ass mountain 29; aang likes to fidget with kuzons hands. kuzon lets him

30; aang ranting to gyatso abt kuzon

31; gyatso finds it so fucking funny when aang gets jealous bcuz aang says “jealousy is not a good thing. let go of it” and he gets all pissy when hes jealous

32. aang at a sleepover with kuzon removing jewelry and stuff basically js getting ready to mimimimi time and kuzon (whos been ready for a lil bit honestly) just watching him lovingly from the bed. sighhh

33. aang saying he doesnt accept long lasting things and kuzon like. oh ok. yoi dont have to. and aangs like can u put it on 4 me….. he only takes it off for the night (and whenever he has a sleepover w kuzon kuzon unclasps it for him)

34. kuzons firebending with aang is super gentle comparitively

[unwillingtoreachout]

Helloooo darling I'm here to tell you about butcher!Neil 🤭 sorry it's so long omg—I completely understand it takes a while for you to respond dw ❤️ actually your don't even have to respond to it at all if you don't want, I won't be offended :)

So in this au, for whatever reason, Nathan was allowed to keep Nathaniel and train him up as a second butcher, which means that this Neil is a very different Neil to the one we get in canon. He knows his way around a knife. He is a fighter, not a runner, but neither is he the Exy prodigy he would have been if he'd gone to the Nest. His father banned him from playing Exy when it started getting in the way of his training.

He never knew Riko, but he did get know Ichirou very well. I have to say that this au is mostly based on two moments from canon. Number one:

This single throwaway line really struck me in my reread. ‘Your father was someone to me.’ Like oh my god. From most people this would be a nice, if perhaps bland, sentiment. From Ichirou Moriyama, this is a strange and unexpected vulnerability that (the way I see it) betrays something more than a professional relationship. I'm not saying that they were best buds who had sleepovers and confessed all their darkest secrets and crushes to each other but like. I think Ichirou admired Nathan at the very least, and clearly held just enough affection for him that he wanted to talk to Neil and made him more inclined to give him a chance. ‘Your father was someone to me.’ Did Nathan care for Ichirou how he never cared for his own son? Did Ichirou respect Nathan the way he never respected his own uncle? We'll never know, but I'm sure as hell going to think about it. Anyway so this got me thinking about how close Ichirou and Neil would have been if they grew up together, and one potential answer is: very. So that's where this comes from.

In this fic, their relationship is really fucked up, and I have to put a disclaimer before I start properly explaining that I don't condone any of this lmao, I'm just exploring a fictional concept. In this fic, their relationship lies somewhere between brothers, best friends, lovers, and a ‘master and his dog’ dynamic. It's not really any of those things, but it's a weird fucked up combination of elements of them. Nathaniel has been taught from a very young age that the power dynamics in this world are strict. He is better than most people, above them, and he has to know this. He carries himself with a swagger and an arrogance that comes with knowing ten ways to gut a man and the power to make it happen. But he's also hyperaware of anyone who's above him in the pecking order, and it's automatic for him to submit to them easily, never putting up a fight or speaking out of turn (okay he's still not perfected this one, this is Neil we're talking about, but he's more restrained than in canon). This means that, no matter how close he is with Ichirou, and how much Ichirou cares for him, they sre never going to be equals. Ichirou is always going to have power over him, even if that power exists solely in Nathaniel's mind—it's so drilled in, he's never going to get away from it. (Think of Jean and his submissiveness, his need for structure. It's just devastatingly ingrained in him by this point.)

It was always said that Nathaniel was going to be part of Ichirou's personal guard/squad, that's what he was trained for, and he finally took up that position when he was 14/15 and Ichirou was 18/19. For a couple years, he accompanied Ichirou everywhere, guarding him, protecting him, carrying out his dirty work. Falling slightly, obsessively, in love with him. He always knew that he would die for Ichirou without any hesitation. If Ichirou handed him a gun and told him to pull the trigger, he did it, no matter who was on the other end. He usually preferred knives, though. Ichirou accommodated this.

This is getting LONG omg sorry so I'm not gonna go too in depth on Ichirou's feelings for Nathaniel but basically he trusts and cares and worries about him, and he feels a sense of duty and responsibility for him that I think is natural in anyone who has a friend a few years younger than them, yk? But he's not a good person, and he knows that Nathaniel will do anything for him, and he isn't going to not use that to his advantage.

Now on to the actual plot lmao sorry. Here comes in the second canon moment that inspired this:

That got me thinking.........what if Neil actually was a mole?

The summer before Riko breaks Kevin's hand, when Nathaniel is 16, Ichirou grows worried about Riko, and it's partially concern for his brother, but mostly just concern for how his ways (and Tetsuji's) might affect their business. So, secretly, because he doesn't want Kengo to grow worried or angry, he decides to send Nathaniel into the Ravens, undercover, to spy on them. This starts with his year in Millport (though it might make more sense if it was a more well known highschool because this time the whole point is for him to be recruited...idk), where he gets to play Exy again for the first time in years. Here, he becomes Neil Josten. Despite himself, despite knowing that it's immature and he has more important things to worry about, that this is just a game, just a means to an end, Neil is absolutely thrilled. So fucking excited to be back, especially because this year he doesn't have anything to worry about except improving and getting recruited to the Ravens. It's basically everything he's ever wanted but couldn't have, and now he's being ordered to do it. Literally the dream.

Except, Kevin leaves the Ravens, and with him goes Neil's chances of being recruited. They'd counted on Kevin's unorthodox recruitment methods to get Neil on, knowing Riko wouldn't give a shit about a newbie unless Kevin convinced him to give him a chance. Now, they were fucked. They decided to wait out the rest of the season just in case, and were just about to give up on it all when Wymack approached Neil. This wasn't what Ichirou had planned at all, but he realised it was an opportunity he couldn't turn down. Neil wouldn't be up close and personal with Riko like he'd wanted, but this way he could at least keep an eye on Kevin and make sure he wasn't spilling all of their secrets, and it could prove to be useful in a whole host of other ways. So, Neil accepts.

I think the fic would have very similar events to the canon trilogy, but it would feature Neil being even more mysterious than canon (if that's possible lmao) and keeping Ichirou informed of all the goings on, and Andrew would definitely be even more suspicious of him and not let him off as easily, so they'd probably have a much stronger rivalry, but Neil still manages to work his way into the Foxes's hearts somehow. He's very resourceful.

Not entirely certain how I'd end this but I like the idea of Ichirou realising that Neil is much happier like this and (once he becomes the head of the empire) releasing him from his duties, instead allowing him to just spend his life playing Exy.

Jesus Christ, sorry that this is so long, I was certain it was going to be a short explanation but then I just kept going 😭😭😭 I hope it makes sense, at least!!

First of all, sorry if you sent this some time ago and I'm just now replying 😭

Second of all tho, AHHHHHH!!!! THIS IS SO EXCITING, I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!!

Okay so, the whole "your father was someone to me" I did not remember at all but that's really interesting because that could imply so many things, and it makes me wonder if Neil feels like he has to live up to Nathan's standard in a way in order to gain Ichirou's approval (idk this setting is kind of reminding me of how Riko is always trying to get Kengo and Ichirou's attention, so maybe Neil is willing to do anything for Ichirou because he thinks that's how Ichirou will pay attention to him??) maybe I'm reaching but even if that's not the case I'm still really intrigued by their dynamic

I love the idea of Neil actually being a mole and the only person who truly suspects anything is Andrew (and maybe Aaron a little bit), and also Neil trying to act like a normal person when he hasn't been normal a single second of his life. It makes me wonder if he'd fall for the stuff that Neil does in canon, like does he figure out the twins swapped places quicker? Does he suspect Andrew is trying to drug him and he goes along with it to not raise more suspicions?

Alsoooo, Neil getting back into exy and loving it??? I'm gonna cry because I always loved how it's pretty clear that Neil could have always ended up like his father or like Riko but instead he chose to obsessively play a sport with his found family instead of violence. And I feel like, in this case, it's similar in the sense that when he is given the choice he would still choose exy and still choose the foxes

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #37

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [Intermission] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36]

[AO3] [wattpad]

*CW-Long term affects of medical denial & child abuse, living with PTSD *Kink & toys mentioned

((I keep forgetting to tell you guys: Lyly is pronounced "lee-lee." It's short for their middle name, Llyn/Lynn (<-genderfluid affected spelling)))

~POV Mori~ I woke up gasping. I sat up and wrapped my arms around myself so I could tell the difference between actual physical touch and the phantoms left over from my night terror. My body wouldn't stop shaking; I needed Lyly's help. When I got out of bed I froze. Not only did my bed not have curtains, this wasn't my room. No. This was my room. Sinbad picked it out for me in the guest tower. I was in Sindria; in a whole different dimension. All of the adrenaline supporting me left and I sank to the floor. I was still trembling but I wasn't scared anymore. The people who hurt me couldn't reach me here. I had that dream because after spending the past month hyperfixated on the present, I had been triggered into remembering one of the worst parts of my past, so now I was remembering the rest too. 'Sorry, Lyly.' The safety I had gained in this world was invaluable. I couldn't imagine going home willing. Based on how little light was getting through the curtains it was still the middle of the night. I was drained from my dream, and my hips were still aching but it took a while for my mind to calm back down. Tomorrow and the distractions that came from it couldn't come soon enough.

--- "Alright now, Mx. Prophet," the doctor gave me my diagnosis. Sinbad had him sent first thing in the morning, and his arrival woke me up. "You need to rest for a few days. I'll have painkillers sent over to help with your hip pain, fever, and migraine." With his job done, he saw himself out. 'I can't miss the Morning Assembly! ...But-!' I knew the doctor was right deep down. I was in no condition to do much of anything. I was fine resting when I didn't have obligations, but I had a job now. If I was back home I would have had to give Lyly my keys so I couldn't leave. Five years just wasn't enough to fully rewrite my base instincts. Although, from the new memories I was gaining, the me back home was doing a bit better. Those new memories were why I was healed and practiced enough to stop myself even if a doctor hadn't told me to... especially since I had a fever. As long as both me's kept whatever this connection was then maybe we would also keep the benefits from both sides. --- ~POV Sharrkon~ Mori was the only person that missed the morning Assembly. Yamuraiha had a growing smile throughout the meetings, and now that it ended she mumbled something to Pisti. Shar groaned; he knew where this was going. "Yup." Pisti giggled. "I heard from a reliable source," probably 1 of her boyfriends, "that Mori's not 'sick'. Her hips were injured and her body over worked last night." The King refused to look at the gossips. His silence spoke volumes compared to the past month of him adamantly defending that there was nothing special between him and 'his Beautiful Prophet.' "Oh ho~! It finally happened after I left!" Hina slapped Sharrkan on the back with a laugh. "Looks like the 2 of us have to pay up! But I guess you lost the most, huh?" "Oh, no! I ain't paying nothing! Nothing happened!!" Shar had a hurt ego to nurse and he would not let them step on it harder. "Mori got hurt dancing. Our King had nothing to do with it!" Sharrkon felt a shiver run down his spine that made him hold his tongue. Hina looked to the others for confirmation. "Is that true?" Drakon answered him. "It's true. However, it's also true that Sin carried Mori all the way to their room from the festival." "Oh~? That's proof enough for me." Drakon, Ja'far, Yam, and Pisti agreed with their own comments. The man in question still refused to comment, so Hinahoho addressed him directly. "You're really not going to say anything, Sin? After all of that time, telling us how you don't want to get married?" "Fine. Fine." King Sinbad finally turned to them with his arms crossed. "It's simple really. You know I'm not the type to reveal my hand until I'm certain." Sinbad was smiling, but Shar knew instinctually the King was the threat that told him to stop talking. The giant laughed. "Is that so?" "I know you're aware this is a first for me." Sharkkon's wallet cried with him. He had lost 2 out of 3 bets. It was only a matter of time before he lost the 3rd.

---- ~POV Mori~ The Great Bell rang out. The morning Assembly was definitely over. There were several things I had wanted to do today, and I couldn't do any of them since I had to rest. I needed to meet with Queen Artemina before she left Sindria. I had to solidify our connection as allies, but she was set to leave in a day. As I wrote a letter to send her, the waves shifted. This was the right choice for me, and the future I wanted. The letter would need time to dry before I could send it. I got up from my chair and stopped. I didn't want to lay down again yet no matter how much my body needed it. 'Damnit! How much more of my life am I going to spend sick??' I groaned into my hands. I was born with a weak raspatory system, so I get sick multiple times a year and often end up bedridden. "I am allowed to rest even though I can sit up and walk. Pushing will only make it worse." My mom eventually stopped acknowledging when I would get sick due to the expense which is why I struggle to let myself rest as an adult. I made a point of putting the truth into words to fight her conditioning. I climbed back in bed even though I knew that meant I would be stuck with just my thoughts until I fell back asleep. This was the perfect opportunity to process everything that had happened with Sinbad, but I couldn't think about it at all. Being triggered, recognizing these new memories, and that night terror just made me think about home more -well the place I came from. Even when I was in my room there I often couldn't help but think 'I want to go home' because even though it was comfortable and familiar, I couldn't feel safe. My last therapist told me that as long as I stayed in that house full of reminders there was only a slim chance of me recovering from my CPTSD. If only I could have afforded to move out.

In the new memories I got, our dad finally agreed to reorganize all of the living spaces, so that me and Lyly weren't getting as many flashbacks anymore. Hell, he even apologized for everything and started acting like a real dad some of the time. The me that stayed home was able to persevere until an opening for change finally came. 'If they got Isekai now I wonder if they would want to go home?' The thought had never occurred to this me -just like it never did back when I was in in-patient. Although I was still worried about Lyly like I was then. I rolled over to pull out a scroll from the bedside dressers. When I was on the ship I had worked on all sorts of scrolls and one was a memoir of my life back home. One of the first things I did was draw the people important to me before I'll inevitably forget their faces. I unrolled the scroll. Lyly's face stared up at me from the page. As difficult as that place was to live in all of my loved ones were there. In this world there was no one that knew me, and I wasn't sure if I could let my self get that close to anyone here -especially Sinbad. He already knew how deep some of the scars on my heart are. I didn't want him to think any less of me, or use my pain against me. And even more than that, I was scared that the safety I had here would shatter if I made a wrong step. 'I thought I was doing better.' This world had treated me so well that I fell into a false sense of security. Not being surrounded by reminders of my traumas made me feel like I was somehow cured and could restart from scratch. But that's not how healing works... Being away from triggers just made it easier to avoid having an attack. It's only after feeling safe that we let ourselves feel the emotions that are unsafe to feel in the moment. A few tears fell down my cheeks. I placed the scroll on the bedside table and rolled back towards the middle of the bed. Surely it was okay for me to cry in a situation like this. I allowed myself the luxury even though the tears didn't last long. When I was young I cried just as often from joy as sadness. The abuse I experienced made it unsafe to cry at all, so I learned to cry silently until I eventually stopped crying altogether. Being in this world made me feel like it was okay again. Letting myself actually feel these emotions was an important step in the healing process. Beating myself up for getting triggered and relapsing wouldn't help at all. I needed to forgive myself.

--- One day of rest should be enough, right? It's not like I still had a fever. I didn't want to stay in my room and make an even worse impression. My hips would hurt a little if I over worked them, but that would just act as a limiter. ((<<= This person is in denial))

I got dressed after breakfast, but as soon as I grabbed the doorknob I froze. "Yeah, no." I was not in the mood to see Sinbad in person yet, and I would have to if I left my room. As soon as I took Queen Sinbad's choker back off I felt a wave of relief. It had given me so much dopamine and serotonin when it was part of a fantasy, but now it was a reminder of my fears. How could I mark myself with it when I couldn't feel safe in my own desires? Wearing it felt like a lie. I definitely wouldn't be able to wear it for a while.

'Guess I haven't completely lost my sense of self-preservation.' Besides, I hadn't actually had time to do most of the things I like doing to relax since I got to this world. Going out in this state would be worse than not going out. Another day off as I recover from the stress had to be reasonable.

But what options did I have to relax?

Everyone else was busy with work at this time of day, so I could masturbate without having to worry about being interrupted. But my toybox didn't isekai with me; I only have my hands, and some ribbons for mild shibari. Sinbad said I could make requests, but there was no way in hell I was letting him find about this, let alone use his money for my sex toys. I'll figure out where to get some after payday. The night terror was still fresh in my memory anyway.

Video games, comics, and anime were obviously out of the question. Printing still isn't big enough for fiction to be popular to write -that's part of why Sinbad's Adventure story was such a huge success. I had 3 cats back home, but I can't exactly adopt a new pet while sick. I do sing a lot to relieve stress, but it would be embarrassing to be overheard without knowing. 'Note to self: get carpets to hang up to dampen the sound.' There were places I could go that would be harder to be heard but leaving wasn't an option until I was better. That only left me: writing and drawing.

'Working on Fate scrolls it is!'

The flow of ink was good for my brain. It did more than help calm me; it gave me more perspective but it couldn't give me true answers. 'I wish we could just go back to how things were before that night. How am I supposed to know when I will be ready to see Sinbad again?' He isn't any of the people that hurt me, so why can't I just like him without being afraid of betrayal?

Were Sinbad's actions manipulation, or earnest? Could I trust the safety I felt around him? It was definitely a combination of how he treated me, what I knew from reading his Fate, and how familiar I was with being around those types of manipulation. But there was something strange. When I looked for signs of his manipulation in how he dealt with me, or any expected fallout, nothing came from it. In fact, everything kept ending in my favor. The cycle I was expecting was coming from me, not Sinbad. The waves swirled as I finally let myself think about it.

What was he actually going to say when I cut him off? Even if it was what I thought, would I be able to believe him? Even if I didn't have relationship trauma I don't think I could trust him romantically after reading his Fate. He claimed he wasn't playing the flirting game, but that could have been manipulation. Was it my heart or pride that would be hurt more if he was lying? I couldn't tell yet.

I was lonely. Both in general, and in this world. There was no one that knew me here. And I was too scared to trust the person getting closest to my heart. Even though I didn't want to be seen like this, I didn't actually want to be alone; I just couldn't shake the fear of rejection or punishment I thought was inevitable. I left my windows open just in case. ---

~POV Sinbad~ The King sat on the edge of Mori's bed. He had been unable to visit the first time she was sick. Now that he understood his own feelings he couldn't stay away unless he was on the other side of the world. The only reason he didn't visit the first day was because he knew she needed space away from him. The waves had been trying to guide him here for a while though. Who was he to deny them? No one answered the door when he knocked or called out. The silence and waves worried him. The last report said her current fever was mild, but it could have spiked since then. Mori developed an extremely high fever on the ship several hours after everyone saw she was unwell. He entered without permission only to find his Beautiful Prophet was sleeping peacefully. He had gotten to see her; that would have to be enough. Mori turned her head in her sleep and her bangs fell onto her eye lashes. Sinbad leaned over to move her hair out of the way. He tried to keep his touch light to not wake her, but her eyes fluttered open. Unfocused eyes watched him. "Sin..?" The sound of their voice was a relief. It didn't sound strained at all, only weak from sleep.

"How are you feeling?" They weren't anywhere near as bad as last time. "~*yawn* Better now that I'm awake." "Oh? Did you have a bad dream?" They watched him as what he asked slowly processed in their newly conscious state. "Yeah, I did. Thank you for waking me." "Anytime." Sinbad returned their weak smile with his own. "I guess that's why it wasn't just my waves leading me here." He hesitated. "Mori, what do you think about moving into the Purple Leo Tower? It will be easier to care for you when you get sick. You'll be safer there. And your waves could reach me faster." The same fear from the other night started seeping into their expression. "I'm fine here." But he wasn't fine. "Besides, it will be harder when I have to move out of the Palace." For a moment he forgot how to breathe. "Why would you have to move out?" Why would she ever think she had to leave?? "Would you really be okay with me staying after my visions run out?" The King couldn't stop his hand from reaching to caress their cheek, but he was able to hold back from making contact. "Of course." Mori's brow creased farther and they glanced at his hand. "What about after I share all the knowledge I have from my world? I wasn't an engineer. I only know the basics." Sinbad's heart dropped. From the beginning Mori had been marketing herself as a resource, and he had only ever responded positively. Yet another way he'd messed up without even realizing it. "Of course, I'll still want you by my side." The more he was able to peer into Mori's heart the more worried he got. "You are a person, not a resource. You do know that, don't you?" Mori closed their eyes and leaned their head towards his hand; he took that as permission. Their cheek didn't feel feverish. They spoke flatly about their emotions like they did the night of the Announcement. "I know that logically, but I struggle with knowing how to act if I'm not helping someone." They brought a hand up to his. "I really do like helping people, but sometimes it feels like that's all I am. It's what I had to do to survive since I was little." Ah. He could understand that thought process. Sinbad had been a caregiver for his mother and village from a very young age, and went straight from that to king's candidate. There was very little time in his life when he wasn't working towards helping someone. Drinking, and philandering became his break from that -although he would hopefully be narrowing that last point to one person soon. "You seemed to do just fine at the festival." So fine that he couldn't deny his feelings anymore. "Huh? -Oh. Yeah. I guess I did." Her expression softened into a genuine smile. "It was probably going around the festival that got me sick though." It was mainly stress according to the doctors' report. Mori closed her eyes with a yawn. "I'll have to keep more distance between me and the citizens next time. I didn't realize I was so interesting." "You're incredibly interesting." They let out a quiet chuckle. "If you say so." Sinbad watched and felt as they turned their face into his palm, and sighed. Mori relaxed more into his hand with each breath as if his scent and touch were comforting. It bubbled up desires he knew he shouldn't act upon with a sick or unconscious person and yet he couldn't make himself leave either. He took a moment to ground himself but it did little good. He couldn't bring himself to leave until after Mori let go of his hand. To think another person would have this much power over him. "You really are amazing." There was absolutely no way he'd ever allow anyone else to see this side of them. Mori would be moved to the Purple Leo Tower in time, and would just have to learn through experience that he had no intentions of letting them go. ---

~POV Mori~ I woke up to the Great Bell the next morning. Sinbad being here was not a dream. I had just been too groggy to question the situation. What was the point of staying home, if he was going to visit me in person?

On the plus side, seeing Sinbad while I wasn't stuck in my trauma brain helped break the cycle of questions. Sinbad might be stubborn but through his whole life he is shown being someone fully willing to change his mind when given enough information. At this point in the story he is someone with conviction who says his truth directly -even if he often speaks in a manipulative way. So when he said he's chosen a new path, he meant it -even if I don't know what that means yet. And when he is shown seducing women, the idea of moving any of them into the Purple Leo Tower would never be considered, let alone offered -even in private. And yet he offered that to me.

Sinbad was changing and I'd never be able to accept how if I stayed cooped up in my room. To understand myself, and Sinbad I needed to spend more time around him. My rest was over. I didn't need to jump all the way in at once. I'd see him at the morning Assemblies, swap pleasantries, and part ways until the next day. 'Slow and steady.' --- ~POV Sinbad~ Was this how Hina and Drakon felt when they looked at their wives before they got together? Just seeing Mori enter the halls of the White Capricorn Tower made his heart swell. And hearing their voice? Well, he was starting to understand why Ja'far had been so upset with him since they returned from Balbadd. Even seeing Mori dressed androgynously didn't shake his feelings -though it was a bit jarring after how they dressed for the Announcement. It just cemented that what he felt wasn't simply based on how Mori presented. They were undeniably the most beautiful person in the world to him now.

After going through more options than necessary, the first thing the Dungeon Capturer managed to say to Mori was, "I'm happy to see you're feeling better."

"Yes. And thank you for visiting me while I was resting." Mori's smile made him feel at peace. Seeing them up close confirmed that they cut their bangs some. "But never enter my room without explicit permission again." Their sharper tone pierced him repeatedly with each sentence. "That includes the bird by the way. If my curtains are closed or I don't answer the door: don't enter my room."

He wore a smile to ease their anger. "Of course. It won't happen again."

Even as Mori accepted his response and left, the King couldn't get his heart to stop racing. Why did there have to be so many large risks of ruining his chances when he already knew she liked him from reading his Fate?

--- ~POV Mori~

As soon as the Assembly was over, I fled to the Black Libra Tower. 'He said he was happy I was better! AND he didn't say anything about about my change of gender expression!' Sinbad said all of two words directly to me and I started short circuiting. I remembered that he offered to move me to his tower -the one he sleeps in???- and immediately went on the defensive. I was not as ready as I thought!! I was going to need my favorite hyperfixation to survive the rollercoaster I was trapped on. And if it didn't exits yet, then I was going to reinvent it myself! It would be relatively easy to make a printing press since this fanfic was in English instead of whichever Arabic language was the region's canonical one, or Japanese like the series was originated in. Both require significantly more characters than English, and some kanji can be too intricate to make with this world's current level of technology. Speaking of which, this world had stamps and seals so this next level of printing shouldn't be too crazy of a change. I took some print making classes in high school and college, so I got to use a few different scale printing presses. I knew enough to draft prototypes. I excelled at typography in college too -so well that the department head signed off on me skipping a few courses so I could get to the high level stuff faster. The typography was digital, but I still learned enough to draft prototypes of stamps and such. ('A shame I couldn't afford higher than an Associates Degrees.) Since I was working on a table in the middle of one of the libraries, people came up to ask me about what I was doing. I gave a brief summary to the latest onlooker, before I pointed to the examples I was drafting. "I see." His voice was familiar but I was too focused to register it. The person moved around the table to read the part I had finished this morning. He made a few sounds of recognition as he read. "Won't spelling out each word every time be a hassle?" "Well, yeah. It's better to have most words premade. And full lines of text can be fused together to make reprinting more issues easier and faster." He pointed to a spot on the parchment. "Ah- that's what this part is then." My eyes were drawn to the glint of his rings. Every cell in my body remade itself as my brain finally acknowledged who was talking to me. "That is convenient." Sinbad's voice was unmistakable now that I was paying attention. I prayed to every God I knew of that my emotions didn't show in my actions or voice. "This might be a new technology here, but you won't have to completely reinvent the wheel thanks to my 'visions.'" I had to focus on my breathing to keep my heart rate down. I was able to keep the conversation moving, but I wasn't sure I would remember it well. I was more focused on not looking like an idiot. We had exchanged greetings at the morning assembly but this was the first time I was talking to him fully sober in days. His polite gestures and this conversation made my heart swell, but he wasn't flirting; he was just existing while being attractive. 'Why did I have to start thinking it could be mutual??? I can't even enjoy it like this!' If anything starts there's going to be an end.

--- ~POV Sinbad~ Sinbad didn't have a 'real' reason for visiting Mori in Black Libra Tower on their first day back, but, as King, there was no one who would question him. Although, Ja'far would come to get him if he's away from his responsibilities for too long. He arrived a bit after lunch to find Mori sitting at a table in the middle of the library where anyone could and did come talk to them. The proof being that they didn't beat an eye at his questions. In fact, it sounded like they had explained about this stamp system multiple times. Mori needed their own office in the tower. He'd make sure they got one asap. As interesting as this new technology was, Sinbad kept finding himself staring at his Beautiful Prophet more. It was hard enough to focus at his own desk -let alone when Mori was right in front of him. Sinbad had heard that acknowledging the feeling makes it stronger, but he wasn't expecting this. Mori tensed for a moment before scooting their chair away from him. He had been leaning closer to them without realizing, and they moved away. How was this the same person that fell asleep holding his hand the previous day? Were they just too tired back then to remember what was going on? Did they think it was a dream? He definitely shouldn't flirt with them while they were this uncomfortable to be around him. Would they even be willing to hold his arm while they walked together? He didn't think so. Sinbad took a moment to ground. Even if Mori had turned into a feral cat or wild rabbit around him, the way they watched him when they thought he wasn't looking was a sign that they wouldn't mind being tamed by him. They had enjoyed his company before; he just needed to remind them of that. The only question was if he could regain Mori's trust before he had to leave for the Kou Empire.

((OMGOSH I did not expect this to take this long. At least a month of that gap was from back-to-back illness too, so it took even longer. My digestive track turned off for 24 hours and took 48 to fully come back online. While I was in recovery I caught a really bad upper raspatory infection that gave me a 103F fever for a week. So of course my period hit me like a freight train a week later. Somehow I was ill the weeks around the holidays and not on them, but it was a still a super rough couple of weeks. I'm better now :D which is why I was able to have the energy to write.

I processed a lot of my emotions while working on these chapters. They're all things I already knew, but consolidating them like this helped me see more of the places they were affecting me, and cement in my head that it is okay to move forward. :D

This arc is 3 chapters long including this one. Since I do have the next 2 written already, I just need to refine them and make the art, so there shouldn't be as long as a break for the next chapter. Like this chapter, they will have scenes of Mori processing their emotions. I needed a lot of time to edit them down a ton since there's obviously things I don't intend to post on the internet, and I want the story to feel good to read chapter to chapter. I've already got the next arc started too. It's a lot of character confrontations that became discarded drafts of earlier arcs, but definitely need to happen now. Since I have those drafts as a basis, I hope to get that arc ready before I finish posting this one. I have another DeadEnd chapter to post, and a few one shots I almost have ready. I've been posting wips and art for for them on patreon, but I won't be posting them here until I have full chapters ready U-U))

[averyaddamsromance]

Ok, Hunter in the pool was supposed to get your attention X_D sorry!

The last few days may have been somehow tough for our wyler community. Shippers and their ships could be the core of fandoms, and I am really sorry that in 2023 someone still doesn't get the lesson…anyway…

I decided to make a post sharing some of the fan-fictions which made the last 2 days brighter after knowing that Jenna Ortega is killing the romance in Wednesday- which I repeat, is not bad for Wyler since we couldn't get any romance in s2 anyway as you can read in my previous post. I just hope this is not going to affect the unresolved sexual tension between Tyler and Wednesday. I am curious to see if views won't drop without that. Because audience is fickle and untamable: dear Jenna, today they are clapping when you say "no romance" then in 2 years (when we will be even farther from the effects of covid 19 on people's emotional life) will start complaining about the lack of intensity in the series. For me, this is a challenge and I am curious to see who's right here.

We are forced to accept the decision to castrate Wednesday Addams, dark and sarcastic woman, yes, but still daughter of one of the most passionate couples (Morticia and Gomez Addams). How is possible that to prove women's independence and strength in 2023 we still have to castrate them? Did men do anything like this since the beginning of civilization? Wouldn't be great to affirm our sexuality together with indipendence and strenght? Is it so dangerous for a woman to get an orgasm thanks to a man, really?

Anyway, now back to fanfic:

ALL IT TOOK WAS YOUR SPARK by @wincestation

For me this is royal blood among the fan-fictions I read, latest chapter was out just a few hours before or after (don't remember) the interview Jenna did at The Tonight Show.

It's impossible to describe how much I love this fanfic- and how much I laugh when I read it. Wincestation has established herself as one of the best wylers writers already. She is building an AU and her Tyler and Wednesday can actually challenge in terms of quality the original characters of the series.

Wincestation, I am one of your cheerleaders.

YOU ARE STILL A TRAITOR by @suchaladyy

Another gem I read immediately after Jenna's interview and I loved the warm feeling left in my heart -I really needed it.

Suchalady is producing fanfictions at an impressive speed and her +18 explicit collections is for true connoisseurs. And I won't even bother to hide that after Jenna's attempt to castrate Wednesday I feel even more sadistic pleasure to read explicit +18 fanfictions where she is completely unleashed by Tyler -sorry Hunter, you find yourself in the middle of a war.

I AM TYLER, BY THE WAY by Kiranightshade @therulerofallpotatos

Gosh how I loved this piece! And I am seconding all the comments asking for the sequel! But I know that Kira is working on another more complex fanfic, so I patiently wait here.

+18 EXPLICIT that as I already said I am enjoying even more after Jenna's interview, as useless absolutely pointless personal vendetta.

BUT IT'S NOT REAL (AND YOU DON'T EXIST) by @the-strangest-person

WOW. I am new to Stranger Person'fanfic but this one hit me really hard.

There's some drama but I am pretty sure that if those poor screenwriters (Wednesday's ones) were allowed to write their own thing we would have gotten something similar.

ROUGH DAY by @realmermaid333

Realmermaid333 won't disappoint you, ever. I loved this explicit fanfic! It was fresh air, really hot but somehow sweet (Tyler can't disappoint you either) as only realmermaid can be.

THE WOES OF SELF DISCOVERY by SwedishlittleOwl @fandom-geek17

So damn hot, I started to read it and then I was like "noooooo it's not completeeee" I need others chapters! I am so curious to know what's gonna happen!

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

OKAY SO- I have developed way too much of an attachment to my "dream man" Bel. (which if you aren't familiar here's some explanation of who he is: dream man! full body dream man!)

So I've decided to kind of change and add some stuff to the sequel of the Sapphire Heartverse, Sugar Crash Void Bash:

Before we begin, here are some links:

Sapphire Heartverse fanfic (in the works)

"Brief summary" of the SHV lore and beyond

Ramón's first appearance

Talking about Sugar Crash Void Bash a bit

Blue Raspberry Slush Float (Razz) The TipVans fusion

Emmanuel Nemesis (Vanilla's cousin)

^^^ These will all be important!

Okay so, Bel just recently came to me in a dream. I was having trouble coming up with an idea for a villain in this next installment of my au lore, and then all of a sudden he showed up!

Prologue

Beleza was one of Dio's servants way back in the day. He was actually his first second in command before Vanilla came along. Bel immigrated from Portugal to Egypt and got a job as Dio's servant for some extra cash and a luxurious place to stay. Dio absolutely adored Bel's personality and sense of fashion, as did the other servants there. They all would look to xem for guidance, much to Dio's relief. Dio doesn't care much for talking a lot to his servants.

When Vanilla was taken in by Dio, fed, bathed, and given a place to stay under the condition that he will remain his servant for the rest of his life. It was Bel's responsibility to teach Vanilla the ropes and prepare him for being a servant. Vanilla learned all of the things to do, the chores around the mansion, and the daily/nightly routines to follow. Vanilla was 19 at the time and Beleza was 18.

Bel was even the first to introduce Vanilla to Jonathan's head. Vanilla was horrified until Bel had explained everything. He explained to Vanilla how to care for him, what to and not to do, how to pick him up, how to place him back in his resting tank, and everything. However, Vanilla was the one to discover that Jonathan could eat food and it would disappear.

Over the years, Vanilla felt like he was competing for Dio's affections and praise. Bel was always the first to be praised for a job well done. Xe was well liked, xe was popular, xe had the ability to smoothly persuade the other servants beneath him to do his bidding, and most of all, xe was Dio's favorite servant. This tore Vanilla up inside. He wanted so badly to have that love and praise he was deprived of for so long.

Bel found out that Vanilla was jealous of xem rather quickly. They absolutely relished in that fact, and would hang it over Vanilla's head. Bel and Vanilla would hurl childish insults at each other and make fun of each others' sense of fashion. Every now and then, they would piss each other off so badly that they would physically attack one another.

Dio, being kind of a jerk, would actually enjoy seeing these men fight over him. However, he knew that the two of them hating each other wouldn't do any good when it came to getting work done around the mansion. Dio scolded them both and told them that they needed to at least get along in public and in front of the others. Vanilla was still extremely jealous of Bel and wanted to be the center of Dio's attention. Unfortunately, his fixation on Dio's affection took a toll on his mental health as a whole.

Bel was still very popular, especially with the gentlemen. Bel could have any fella he wanted, but for the sole purpose of messing with Vanilla, he always stroked Dio's massive....... ego. Vanilla would suck up to Dio so much that the other agents and servants really disliked him. In their eyes, he was pathetic and served no other purpose being there aside from being yet another one of Dio's boy toys.

A few years later (Bel: 25, Vanilla: 26), on one fateful day, something strange happened with Bel. He just... suddenly stopped caring about tormenting Vanilla. Bel started developing more of an interest in money, flashy items, and gaining power over others. Dio praised him for being greedy and prideful, but told him not to let all that power go to his head and remember who the real king is.

"Remember who the real king is..." Those words rang in Bel's ears and made xem very upset. Xe stewed in his thoughts for a few days, looking around the mansion and taking note of all the treasures. Vanilla followed xem around as stealthily as he could. Of course, Vanilla is very clumsy and trips over his own feet. Bel heard Vanilla and gave him a scolding for knocking over expensive items.

That morning, Bel waited until Dio was asleep in his coffin. There are several booby traps that they have bypassed many times before. They snuck their way into Dio's true slumber chamber. Ever so carefully, they opened the lid to his coffin. With wooden stake in hand, Bel plunged the weapon into Dio's-!!!

Hand! Dio had stopped the wood would-be vampire slayer with the palm of his hand. Dio awoken from his vampiric slumber as soon as he heard the lid to his coffin open. He had pretended to be asleep to see what would happen. If Dio hadn't been quick enough, Bel surely would've slain Dio.

They both stared at each other for a while. Bel, completely wide eyed and stunned that his plan didn't work... Dio, glaring with his glowing amber eyes straight into Bel's soul... After a few long moments of staring at each other, Dio uttered the words,

"Get out..."

Bel released their grip on the wooden stake, still stuck in the palm of their once-master's hand. They knew he didn't mean "get out of my chambers"... he meant "get out of this mansion."

Instead of killing Bel, or having the rest of his minions tear him apart, he decided to have Bel exiled. Bel was to never return to the mansion for as long as he lived. He was no longer welcome there. Not as a servant, not as a guest, nothing. Bel had very little time to get all of his things and leave. He was gone before Vanilla even woke up.

After that, Vanilla became the man everyone knows today. He picked up the slack Bel left behind. Although he is not as charismatic, attentive, or persuasive as Bel was, Vanilla still got a lot done around the mansion and then some.

Now onto Sugar Crash Void Bash (this is the gist of it as well as the ending scene. I will HOPEFULLY actually get to writing the SCVB fanfic. In case that never happens, here's what goes down in the lore!)

(there are spoilers beyond this point, but I want to get it out anyway!)

Bel's return! He was also affected by the Big Bloop like the others in our story. But there's something off about him... he's immortal! But how?! He's not a vampire! Why does he still look like he did back in the 80s? Why didn't he age a little bit like Vanilla, Tippy, and the gang?

It's the crown he wears... Though, it didn't always look like that. The reason why Bel started acting strange so suddenly way back then, was because he was snooping around in Dio's forbidden treasures. One of them was supposed to be destroyed. If even Dio didn't want it, you know it's bad. Bel placed the crown upon his head and something changed in him. (think Majora's Mask)

Bel immediately pried out the jewel from the crown and stole it. They went on to carry it around with them at all times. It even manifested itself onto Bel's stand, Gilded Cobra (the look is permanent, the power is not). They gained super intelligence and even more ability to persuade people into doing what they want. The jewel also granted them immortality without the added vampirism.

Later on, Vanilla and Tippy (as their fusion, Razz) discover that Bel is being mind-controlled by the jewel in his crown. Razz tells Ramon what's going on and they all have to try to get that crown away from him and destroy it. Bel attacks Razz with a beam that seemingly did nothing to them. Through panting, Bel tells them that he made him immortal so he'll just keep fighting him forever. Razz is confused because he will always look like he did when his separates were younger, no matter how much his separates age. But there is one problem... Razz can only exist for 24 hours at a time, and it's almost been 24 hours.

Bel gets attacked by Razz's stand, Volatile Amethyst. This is when they realize they may be immortal but they are not immune to physical attacks on his body. Bel tries to kill Razz, but Ramon uses Sugar Crash to attack Bel. Sugar Crash knocks the crown off of Bel's head... but that's not enough. Bel still tries to kill Razz.

Ramon finds that he needs to destroy the jewel inside of the crown to prevent anyone else from being corrupted by its power. Ramon desperately smashes the jewel with Sugar Crash's fists, breaking the floor in Bel's palace.

Bel and Razz are fighting each other physically as well as having their stands attack each other. Both of them are badly bruised and bloody, all while Ramon is frantically trying to destroy this evil jewel. With one final blow to the jewel and a cry from the poor boy, the jewel cracks.

Bel staggers a bit, his eyes are wide. Razz looks confused, then he notices Ramon breaking the jewel. Suddenly, Razz is slowly pulling apart. It's been 24 hours and Razz splits apart into Vanilla and Tippy. They watch Bel twitch around and contort a bit as the jewel is being shattered by Ramon.

Finally, Ramon shatters the evil jewel to pieces. Bel contorts backwards and the demon of the jewel releases them from their grasp. They fall backwards, appearing to have been killed.

Vanilla and Tippy have the same injuries all over their bodies, they look over at one another. Vanilla smiles,

"You look 15 years younger." Tippy touches his bruised cheek and smiles back,

"You too..."

They hear Bel groaning in pain. Vanilla, Tippy, and Ramon are all on guard. Bel sits up and gets on his knees,

"Wh....what? Where the hell am I?" He looks up, completely shocked. He doesn't even know he's in his own palace. Everyone discovers that Bel hardly remembers anything after the jewel took him over all those years ago. Dio explains that he doesn't know where the original crown came from, but he knew that it needed to be destroyed. As soon as he saw Bel was wearing that jewel, he had to banish him.

But that wasn't the only reason he didn't have Bel killed. Dio respected the hell out of them. They were so intelligent and cunning, so charming and manipulative that they were able to trick even Dio.

Bel truly never even liked Dio in the first place. They were planning on forming a rebellion against him to take over his mansion, but the jewel only sped up the process.

They soon learn Bel's full name is Beleza Muscadine as well.

Also over time, Vanilla and Tippy get to know Bel a lot better, and they all fall in love with each other.

The End??

(more to add and edit soon!!)

[sluttyhenley]

4, 15, 18, 19!

a story idea you haven’t written yet

there are so many i have floating around in my head that i haven't written yet, but ummm, i'm gonna go with the mavnix soulmates au i floated a while back where neither of them have soulmate marks. and this is a fact that affects them both differently. for phoenix is relief, there's no one out there who's her match, who she will get so attached to that it will kill her when they leave her. and for maverick it's a gutwrenching disappointment, because that man has spent so much time chasing love, so like. he doesn't even get a soulmate mark?? and anyway. they're not soulmates but they choose each other anyway. yeah. that. it'd be fun to write that some day.

15. favorite weather for writing

god idk. probably rainy because then i'm not sitting there like, but what if i were doing something else, because i don't like going to do stuff when it's rainy

18. If you keep them, share a deleted scene or paragraph from a published fic

huh, they mostly just kind of get deleted since 99.99% of the time i edit the same document i wrote in rather than a copy. (the exception being #NotDating). i know i've deleted whole paragraphs before, but i can't remember any of them to share. so uhhh, i'll idk cheat and go with the bit that i know i won't write that would technically belong in this mota voyeurism fic i'm trying to write:

gale has to go into work (he used up his fucking leave when he went hitchhiking (???) after the war) but bucky is still in casper visiting. so it's just him and marge in the cleven house. and here's the thing. marge is trying to make this work, because she Loves gale so much. and gale and bucky have a love that is so deep that she doesn't want to break that. and she's falling in love with bucky. but bucky (giant fucking messy king of unhealthy coping mechanisms) is being so weird around her that she comes to the inevitable conclusion that he doesn't even like her. so she confronts him while he's sitting on their couch reading, like 'do you like me, bucky?' and he just kind of looks at her like ...... and she clarifies all that. how she can see how much he loves her husband. how she loves them both. and she's not going to do anything to disrupt the two of them and they'll figure something out but it will hurt like hell if he doesn't even like her. and he just blurts out 'i do! i do like you, marge' to which she says, 'don't you dare lie to me john egan,' and he promises her he's not, but he doesn't deserve them, either of them, doesn't deserve this. and blah blah blah, conversation happens, and uhhh she makes him help her with dinner, and that's how gale comes home to find the two people he loves most in the world actually enjoying each other's company in the kitchen.

how's that for a deleted scene?

19. The most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic.

ok so you remember that spuhura fic that like technically finished but also definitely didn't because it definitely deserves more work? i spent a lot of time researching specific linguistics topics for that, and that was genuinely so much fun. i was basically out there being like, this is the paper i'd write if i were still in an academic setting, because it's so interesting and compelling To Me

ask me about my writing!

[golbrocklovely]

it's been a minute since i posted one of these so..

here’s some of colby’s tweets from 2021.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Jan. 2 - thank you all so much i love you don’t forget

Jan. 6 - just got yelled at on my walk by a 93 year old grandma it was dope how’s your day goin

on another note , so sad to see what’s been happening today at the capitol .. this is ridiculous. i’m worried.

(the issue with this time period is that colby was getting a lot of heat for shit he shouldn't have been. so… some of these tweets are gonna trigger me, and this is one of them lmao)

Jan. 8 - seems like the older i get the more independent i become

*@/mikes_dead: seems like the older u get the more u forget to call me back headass sorry bb 🖤

don’t crave that personal life human affection like i used to i’m cool with being by myself

always feel like i’m living in a dreamy reality until i get caffeine. blurry vision blurry mind

Jan. 9 - learned how to drive manual for the first then drifted that car today i’m surprised i didn’t kill anyone

you in January

Jan. 12 - fan: hi i love yOu…@/ColbyBrock

hiii i love you

fan: It’s my 2,000 day supporting Sam and colby. That’s fucking insnae man. Mental. I love you 2. Always and forever thank you for being such huge parts in my life @/SamGolbach @/ColbyBrock @/SamandColby

thank you for being a part of our life journey 🙏🏼🖤

Jan. 14 - time to conquer my anxiety

Jan. 16 - tonight , two years ago i was sleeping in a little jail cell wondering how long i’d be in there without Sam. life is fuckin crazy hahah, freedom is a gift

fan: i cant believe that most of the fandom slept on the floor when @/SamandColby 2 years when they got arrested #FreeSamAndColby

the best fans in the world

Jan. 18 - oh how time can heal and change everything

fan: no fr he’s been working so hard and you can really tell. proud of you @/ColbyBrock

thank you darlin

Jan. 19 - my fear won’t be something that i let control the way i live

Jan. 20 - fan: colby ur tweets r always so deep

twitters my personal little mind dump

(wish this was still the case… but i get why he is barely on there)

Jan. 22 - it’s underwater shipwreck dive today

feels good to feel proud of myself

Jan. 24 - fan: @/ColbyBrock can you teach me your ways of being okay with being single bc i’m tired of asshole guys fucking around with my feelings

one day you’ll learn that the only happiness you need comes from within, once you’ve learned to really enjoy youre own company you don’t need anyone else! practice makes perfect 🖤

Jan. 25 - why do i push away everyone who tries to get me to open up?

(what a juxtaposition lol)

Jan. 28 - crows are honestly just death metal chickens

Jan. 30 - don’t wanna jinx this like last time but XPLR gods have definitely been on our side recently again … Alaska has been an adventure of a lifetime

Feb. 1 - don’t let anyone tell you who YOU are and how to think

fan: Currently listening to We Love Our Friends @/SamGolbach @/ColbyBrock @/SamandColby

a bop

Feb. 2 - fan: Thinking about @/ColbyBrock hours

💭🖤

*fan: @/ColbyBrock u should get a tongue piercingggg

*ouchh

fan: As part of 25x25 @/ColbyBrock needs to come out with music

🤫😏

(he needs to come out with more music asap)

*fan: @/ColbyBrock u said no to the tongue piercing what about u getting a nipple piercing??

ouchhh

(what's with fans wanting him to get random parts of his body pierced lmao)

wake me up after valentine’s day

Feb. 4 - what’s one thing you wanna do before you die ?

Feb. 7 - my dream is to show you the beauty in life .. no matter how hard it can get

really opened up on my ongoing experience with anxiety in today’s video , i hope it resonates with some of you. we’re not alone

Feb. 8 - fan: bro @/ColbyBrock do you always get your tats in the early hours of the morning??

yes hahah

just gettin started on this sleeve. lots of work to do

Feb. 10 - fan: @/ColbyBrock I need some advice for anxiety lately my anxiety is playing up and I keeps having anxiety/panics attacks and idk how to calm my self the best thing I can do so far is watch ur vids but still sometimes I just can’t hold it in do u have any advice

box method breathing really helps.. soft music.. meditation. anything that can relax the mind. usually it stems from overthinking so if you can somehow distract yourself with an activity of some sort that could help too 🖤

i’m so emotional sometimes and for what

Feb. 13 - so who’s down to hangout tomorrow

fan: i could really use a hug from @/ColbyBrock rn /: sigh i miss him sm

🖤 sending virtual hugs

fan: Hey Colby … just checking in…. are you okay? Taking care of yourself? @/ColbyBrock

thank you for being so sweet i love you. yes i’m okay i have my good and bad days

Feb. 17 - sang for the first time on camera yesterday

Feb. 20 - this pill that i don’t wanna taste

fan: Are you okay??? Or one of your song lyrics

song lyrics .. probably should have explained that a lil more. it’s not a literal thing i promise hahah

Feb. 22 - damn i miss the big trap house parties we use to throw at our old place. 500 people plus in our living room.. David dobrik always comin in randomly with flame throwers hahah legendary times

Feb. 24 - i was so happy in my dream last night .. felt so real.

simply a wonderful sight to see

Feb. 28 - Dear @/ColbyBrock I would REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DYED YOUR HAIR BACK TO BROWN I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT

my purple is pretty much out ! so it’ll be all the way brown soon

fan: Apparently the guys are in Las Vegas and Las Vegas is probably like oh no not these guys again. @/ColbyBrock don't go for a midnight stroll and almost get mugged or kick a cactus this time

palm springs was when the mugging and cactus assault happened hahah but we will do our best to stay outta trouble .. maybe

March 2 - i feel like i don’t fit in with that many people in LA

@/jccaylen: let’s move to Texas.

looking for houses now

March 6 - take a chance with me

head down, headphones in

March 8 - happy #InternationalWomensDay , women are fuckin powerful, thank you for all that you do

(another triggering tweet sksks)

March 10 - maybe i just knew i had to wait for you

March 15 - fan: I just know deep in my soul @ColbyBrock had an angsty sad boi tumblr back in the day and I just wanna scroll thru it. Sir pls hand me the link thx :)

i wish i had tumblr. but wasn’t in to social media until i was like 18. only had a facebook until 2014

(….interesting lol)

fan: @/ColbyBrock do u have any advice on keeping productive on something even though it isn’t ur favourite thing to do but u need to get it done

set goals and make sure you do things in little pieces. if you don’t like something you’re doing just make sure you’re getting it done in the way YOU want to. take it day by day instead of procrastinating and doing it last minute

fan: y r u awake @/colbybrock

same reason you are

March 16 - things change, people change. but in the end i’ll always wish the best for my friends

March 17 - i can’t help but feel this way

March 18 - fan: How can you get through a break up

time. i know that’s a cliche answer. but seriously. distract your mind for a while and you’ll get over it i promise

fan: @/ColbyBrock how often do you not sleep at night because your mind is too loud?

i sleep terribly most nights. i have this weird insomnia that forces me to be up at 3am daily

are any of you hard on yourself for no reason? cause holy shit that’s me daily

fan: Better at picking others up than picking myself up

feel this so hard

fan: please call me sweetheart its my dream deadass

sweeeeeetheart 🖤

fan: @/ColbyBrock what’s your best advice to give to a teen who’s gonna turn 17 next week ? like any tips or tricks you wanna hand down bc i need help

so assuming you’re in highschool, just know that you might think your social circle means the world to you right now .. but everything can change (if you let it) after you graduate. life changes so much after graduation! focus on making good relationships and having fun :)

fan: @/ColbyBrock what’s the first thing you’ll do after all this covid stuff is over?

throw a real trap house party

March 25 - i am becoming a hummingbird father.

@/amberscholl: idk why but this is a VERY hot tweet

can’t wait to show you what i’ve been doing 😈

March 27 - just don’t have the time anymore

March 29 - friday by rebecca black is my anthem

March 30 - should i curl my hair for a youtube video

[tonberry-yoda]

hello! hope you’re having an awesome day so far. hopefully requests for matchups are still open. if not, please disregard this LMAO 😂😭 also, i apologize if this is a bit too long—

i’d like a romantic matchup for the jjba fandom please! (i’ll take anyone from parts 1-6 except villains [but i’ll make an exception for la squadra tho, they’re the only villain squad in jjba i actually love LMAO])

i’m a filipino 18 year old (turning 19 next week as of writing this!), currently in my first year of college, studying pre-nursing. my pronouns are she/her, i identify as a female, and my sexuality is straight.

i have medium-length REALLY dark brown (it looks black but in light, you can see that it’s brown) hair with bangs, tan skin, and i wear glasses.

i’m pretty shy, quiet, and introverted around strangers. i usually prefer not to go up to someone and introduce myself; i’d rather have the person go up to me. but once we become friends and i slowly open myself up to you, i can be pretty talkative, outgoing, and a bit chaotic! (if you have at least on interest in common with me, i’m probably going to become friends with you almost immediately). i usually have no trouble meeting and sending messages to people on social media since no one can be able to sense how awkward and anxious i get (i’m like an introvert IRL, but an extrovert [?] online 😂)

within my close friend group and my cousins, they consider me to be the horniest one out of the bunch, simply because of my habit of frequently making dirty jokes and thirsty comments (altho this usually happens when i simp over my favorite anime characters HAHA). also, because of my habit of finding at least one new anime husband whenever i watch a new anime, my friends also call me the “double hushando worshipper” (weird, i know, but i like it 😂)

in my free time, i enjoy watching anime, reading manga, listening to music (my favorite genres are pop, j-pop, k-pop, dance-pop, and pop rock, but i’m down to listen to anything as long as it’s catchy!), eating, and collecting plushies (i definitely love cuddling them whenever i sleep). i’m in love anything considered cute and pastel. i’m also obsessed with the brand sanrio (the one who created hello kitty), and my favorite characters are cinnamoroll and gudetama. as suggested in my college major, i’d like to be a nurse in the future, but i’m also looking into other career options still pertaining in the medical field :D

when it comes to having a partner, i really want someone who’s kind, respectful, loyal, trustworthy, and understanding. i’m someone who prefers to stay in my comfort zone almost 90% of the time, so i’d like my partner to kinda push me out of that zone, while also not being over pushing. i can also get insecure and compare myself to others from time to time, so i’d appreciate it if my partner can make me feel good about myself. i love my family a whole lot, and i’d really want my partner to get along with them; i have a group of cousins who i’m extremely close with (i consider them like my siblings), so i’d especially love my partner to get along with them too! i’m lowkey touch-starved so i’d definitely like some affection from my partner (i don’t like an excessive amount of PDA tho, an arm around me or a small kiss is fine). i don’t mind if my partner buys me items, but i’d definitely be concerned if they spend way too much, like spare your wallet some mercy please 😭 (and i’d also feel kinda guilty if i don’t have the money/time to get my partner something in return).

hopefully this is enough! <333

omg hi!!!! first of all, happy late birthday!! <33333 second of all this took me a while. i was deciding between two men and FINALLY found the PERFECT MAN FOR YOU!! so without further ado...

the character I chose for you is...

JOSUKE HIGASHIKATA!!

LIKE COME ON

HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR

he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first

LIKE COME ON

HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR

he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first

i know in my heart that this man can braid your hair

idk why i just feel it

so he does

a lot

i mean, he has gorgeous hair himself so he can really make your hair look stunning

when you and him text, it is pure chaos

you guys are so funny and cute and there are too many memes and way too many jokes

and lots of i love yous ofccc <333

it may seem like you are quiet around him sometimes to others, but josuke knows how loving and amazing of a partner you are <333

okay

you're both horny fr

like both really dirty jokes and random joking smirks from across the table at each other

it's chaos and everyone thinks you guys are hilarious

this man buys you stuffies all the time and then cuddles you and watches anime

you get him into a BUNCH of new anime

it's already canon that he's a huge manga nerd, but what if he just kept it at manga? what if he's not a huge anime watcher, but knows everything about the new animes that come out?

you get to watch the new episodes with him and see his reaction to his favorite manga scenes being fully animated

you and this man can eat for DAYS

like most of the time when you're hanging out, there are snacks involved

please give him sanrio and hello kitty pins to put on his jacket because gurl you know he's gonna wear em

and pull them off too

he loves your vibe

like the whole cutesy and pastel vibe

it's just cute and kinda awesome to him

plus the more stuffed animals, the more cuddles tee hee

he thinks it is so cool that you want to be a nurse

he has a stand that does the work for him and can heal people, but to see that you can do it without an ability has him admiring you forever

plus, with how sweet and amazing you are, of course you would do something so sweet to others and you just amaze him everyday

but dont stress yourself out! and if you ever do, he's got your back

he's always proud of you and can help you through any situation that you encounter with a hug and a kiss on the forehead

he definitely will more than respect your comfort zone, but will definitely encourage you to go on adventures with him and be his forever partner, even through the rough patches

he is more than respectful, trustworthy, and loyal to you and seriously cannot take his eyes off of you

you found yourself the most loving boyfriend who will always care for you, even if you two fight every now and again

also regarding PDA, he is completely understanding of your space in public, but will definitely be holding your hand or having his arm around your shoulder <3

he will definitely smother you in lots of love at home though and make your touch starvedness disappear, but always have you craving his hugs <3

this man loves your family and they love him

he's just so respectful and funny that it's hard not to love him

and he wants to be super close to your family because it helps him get even closer to you <3

and about the whole money thing...

sorry

this man has a problem

help him lmaoooo

but you definitely encourage him to calm down on the spending habits lol

you found yourself the perfect man <333

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[aeolianblues]

I’m finding myself listening again to the Russell Howard and Jon Richardson radio shows on 6 Music from back in the day. How different it is to the last time I listened to them. Back then, I was 19, they’d really got me into comedy, I really was buying into Russell and Jon’s youth, and I’d written and practised a whole standup set and booked myself my very first comedy gig, I, my friends, was going to do stand up. And I was right anxious to ‘make my standup debut before I turn 20’, because 20 is a really big year, it’s a significant number, you’re no longer a teen once you turn 20, and that must mean something. I had to do it. I was running though, I was flying! And reassuringly, I wasn’t the only fool with such hangups, I remember reading an interview with Russell looking back on his career starts, and he had a similar thing going on: his plan as he hit uni as an 18 year old was that he had to make his standup debut before he turned 20. He got me. I was going to do as he did, it’s a start, it gets you comfortable up on a stage after all, doesn’t it?

It’s a whole other thing that lockdown hit right around my 20th birthday, and funnily enough, that gig was called off. Just a week before I was meant to go up and perform! So of course, then began this long and weird process, where I still feel a little like it just wouldn’t do to compare myself to anyone who did things in a prepandemic world. It’s just not a fair comparison, we all fell behind. We all lost that time, and I’m having to fight hard to come to terms with the fact that (way beyond just comedy) my life won’t, and likely cannot, in the light of three lost years, align with my fantasy life goals. It doesn’t mean that I have fully come to accept that, but I do have to swallow the panic that arises in my throat sometimes, that restlessness that makes you want to bolt out of your chair, pace around, do something because you’re running out of time! This primal terror does not know what the goalpost is: what do we have to do? Something! Just something meaningful, something notable, something to be what you wanted to be as a kid! When is our deadline? I don’t know! Now! Whenever someone else more successful did it in their life that was in a different context! Yesterday! Years ago! It’s just not possible.

And so listening back to these episodes is fascinating, though at times hard. When I listened to them properly last, I was ‘on track’. I was young. I was motivated, I was racing. I had time, because the only people I could visibly track the career paths of were (said comedians, and) older than I was. I suppose it’s a thing in the arts and such fields, where the ‘conventional’ roadmaps are so nonexistent that I think a lot of us take one or two high profile examples and then pin all our self-worth against completing milestones on their timeline. When in fact their timeline cannot change, cannot be affected by external factors such as your life, because it is in the past.

Now, it’s a little different. Jon was 24 and Russell 26 at the start of that 6 Music show. I’m 24 now, and listening to Jon in particular is different. Being the same age as him, there are definitely parts of his life and personality that would worry me now way more than they did when I was 19. ‘Jon, you’re 24 mate, for Christ’s sake’, says Russell, and I am more inclined to agree. Chill out mate, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. At least, I need to believe that. And then there are other times when I feel so hopelessly behind. This man’s on national radio? God, I’m rotting away beneath, completely ignoring the fact that 1) I think if I DID happen to be on national radio (CBC), I’d feel like I was in a frustrating state of rot because the target demographic of most of CBC Radio is 65. I don’t think I want to be on national radio. So where do I want to be? Who knows, but it’ll certainly be a different career trajectory to any of these comedians (unless BBC Radio 4 or 6 want me, in which case I’m available). 2) Jon was able to gig at ages 19, 20, 21. Were you? Not unless you wanted to be funny to your laptop screen at home, at 4 am, with a time difference, or in finishing classes at uni overnight with a time difference from 3-6 am, and then getting ready to do a gig at 6 pm. (Though I don’t think it was always that drastic, that may be an excuse). And that’s not the only thing in mind, for example I don’t really think I want to be a standup anymore. I don’t really know what I want, I still harbour a silly dream of at least wanting to be in a band and getting out there and being marginally good at it, before the eyes start to go and the back begins to hurt and the music gets uncomfortably loud. I just want a small chance to bask in the coolness, I’ve realised over the years that the humbler dream is maybe a little more achievable than… what was it I was saying aged 16? ‘Headline Reading festival on the Main stage’. Hahahaha.

But it’s harder to look to musicians and some such. The current crop is heartening, 2020 was the first time I saw two really cool indie rock bands fronted by people aged 31 (James from Yard Act) and 32 (Florence from Dry Cleaning). If you look too far into the past, you’ll get bummed out by people whose biggest moments of their career had happened in ways that changed guitar music forever before they turned 23. But even with the 30 year olds, you do realise that except in very few cases, you do still have to start young. James Smith was still in bands for about 10 years before Yard Act clicked, but not doing it at all kind if takes you out of the running (Flo did actually pick up singing for the first time in Dry Cleaning and it’s a fantastic tale). Even a band like Fontaines have only really hit their stride in their late 20s, some even 30s, some as they were having kids (actually, ditto for James, and he did say it was stressful dealing with finally having the sort of success that takes you on tour across the world just as you’re having your firstborn child, it must’ve been crazy to think of. YA had the most summer European dates booked in 2022, then had to cancel the last leg from mental health issues and exhaustion. Guess it does backfire). But Fonraines did start in uni (and at a music school no less, so I suppose there is a different kind of motivation in saying that you have no choice. You are a musician because what else will you do?)

I try not to overthink it. Radio’s harder, we have very few open and public examples to even look at. Who’s a young and rising music journalist? What did they do? I don’t know, they’re names on a screen/paper, voices announcing things in places I’d like to be. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell how you’re doing.

I suppose I’m not doing too badly for myself. It’s just bad when you compare and you feel like a bit a fool for not being in a completely different situation that someone else finds themselves in. Having a yardstick is a blessing and a curse, in some ways, especially when devoid of much-needed context and perspective.

But it does make some documents different to revisit. Jon’s tenure hosting a show on 6 Music (24). John Robins’ gig diaries (22 turning 23, even as this man only decided to start doing standup aged 23). I don’t know. Maybe I would really do well to stay away from that sort of mental constantly-running commentary, I know John had beaten himself up over his own (perceived) lack of success for absolute decades. We look forward, we really do. We want more, and the good thing is we are driven. The urge to not sit still is a net plus to life, you’ll never be stagnant. You’ll never be bored. There will always be something that wants and hungers, and it will force you to do things.

But you’ve got to remember not to let it drive you— to madness. You’ve got to temper it. Not necessarily look backwards, but maybe glance over your shoulder every now and then and remember that even being in the field of arts, especially as someone that comes with a family history completely devoid of arts, artist connections or advice, is an incredible first step. I could totally have not been here. I could’ve turned out someone completely normal about the things I consume, way happier to let that be a supplement to my life, happy for it to be a passive thing that could never be within my intentions to be a part of. My life could’ve been so different, I could’ve had such different afterhours. Home after a day of work. Netflix, groceries, bed. Chores on the weekends, normal social activities. A keen interest in music, go to a gig, have a drink with a friend, marvel at something that brings me joy but that does not necessarily inspire any passions in me beyond wanting to see another show again sometime.

Instead, here I am. I am a socially anxious introvert, pushing my way through an extrovert’s world (come on, the music industry, as much as introverts are the currency being traded, is run by extroverts, don’t kid yourself). I am going to those merch tables. I am sending emails way above my pay grade ($0.00). I’m being the first to say hello, I liked this, let’s have a conversation over this loud din, let’s exchange emails, let’s chat properly, let’s do an interview. Now go prep, prep, prep. Now go talk to them properly. That’s a job for the weekends. That’s an invented job for the evenings. It’s me and those 19 people tuned in on the digital dial. What a great thing to be doing! I could totally not have been here. I can pick up a guitar. I can see the ideas again. I’m reading poetry. I’m writing bits and bobs. There are some coherent ideas that I can develop further. I love banging something out late night, doing a quick cheeky record on the phone; when you wake up, there’s a little recording you might half remember, available for you to get excited and pore over, it’s great! I maintain that I don’t really know where to begin with poetry. I don’t think I’ll have the full canon for quite a while. But I’m reading! I’ve got a few books and stuff here and there. I’ve read some Larkin. I’ve read some Yeats. I’ve read some TS Eliot. I know it’s not quite a lot, but it’s a start! To my amazement, it’s not just words on a page. I pick up a Larkin poem, some meaning begins to reveal itself to me (worryingly… lol). That’s different from high school. That’s different from what I’d feared. I’m not a philistine, I’m not sitting at home uninspired. The rusty taps are getting the red, ferric water out the pipes. It’s starting to unclog. The mental block—the fear that you don’t have it in you—will fade. Dal at ti. Keep at it. There’s no timeline. Isn’t it wonderful what we’re able to do with our time??

And I’ll work on that back and those eyes. We’ll do something, and we’ll do it quick enough. We’ll do it before I get a bad back.

[the-hem]

The Casement. From Matthew 16: 13-20.

In order to understand Christianity, one has to start by asking "Who is God?"

He is the God of Israel, the Most High.

And then "Who is His Son?"

He is the Christ. The Bringer of Peace to the Earth.

To reveal these things before we attempt to study the Gospels is called the Casement. That which draws away from the middle and reveals the Light.

Think it through: something important, something really big is happening if the Boss feels the need to come to the earth an intervene Himself.

The follow up questions, who do you say He is, and what is bound on earth that is also bound in heaven? we will answer after the reading:

Peter Declares That Jesus Is the Messiah

13 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter,[a] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades[b] will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be[c] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[d] loosed in heaven.” 20 Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

Jesus, "He will save us" goes to Caesarea Philippi, "a town that is in love with its Boss, the military governor." What does this mean?

φιλος  φιλεω

The verb φιλεω (phileo) means to love, and the adjective φιλος (philos) means beloved or friend. To be more exact: these words describe a deliberately pursued synchronicity mostly between specific persons. This pursued synchronicity has not so much to do with feelings but with a state of alignment, co-existence, or even symbiosis.

The noun φιλημα (philema) may mean kiss or hug or any such expression of affection.

ππος

The familiar noun ιππος (hippos) means horse, and back when recreational riding wasn't a thing yet, transport was accomplished by using camels and donkeys, and plows were pulled by oxen. The horse was regarded as quintessential unit of the cavalry, and ultimately as a unit of military force.

We know military forces are conscripted into duty by the Emperor, the King, the governor whatever for the purposes of sustaining the security of a jurisdiction. Who are they in this parable?

Camels are the traditions that keep our spiritualities alive. They are Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism etc.

Donkeys are persons possessed of messianic qualities.

Oxen are priests and scholars who make it possible for the traditions and their soothsayers to reach the from the center to the outskirts of a civilized society, one parish field at a time.

Jesus visits a whole town of these persons in order to educate them all at once on just exactly what the Story and the Plan are.

As For Pursued Synchroniticty= These things are to be committed to memory, hence the name "Caesar of Philippi."

As for the purposes of Jesus's Questions and the reasons we answer, the Gematria is simply stunning: 463, דו‎ג אֶפֶס‎, doug efes, "Fishing for eternity in a dark river."

What are we going to find when we bait our hooks? Mankind fishes down for the Sacraments, God pushes them up:

"...whatever you bind on earth will be[c] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[d] loosed in heaven.”

=9831, טחגא‎, tah-aga tah= support for the lowest, aga= by loving that which is the most virtuous.

תחת

The common noun, adverb and preposition תחת (tahat) means beneath or under, and often expresses a balance between a load and its support rather than a mere burden or lower position.

Adjective תחתון (tahton) means lower or lowest, and adjective and substantive תחתי (tahti) or תחתית (tahtit) means low, below or lowest.

αγαθος

The adjective αγαθος (agathos) means good, virtuous or beneficial. It describes a tricky concept, especially since all things work for good for those who love God (ROMANS 8:28), but it's probably okay to assume that any movement or effort toward the inevitable and ultimate attractor of the whole of cosmic evolution (see REVELATION 21:2) can be considered good, whereas any movement or effort away from that is a waste of time and energy and thus not good.

But since the inevitable and ultimate attractor of the whole of cosmic evolution is deeply akin its most fundamental principle, namely freedom (see GALATIANS 5:1), any restriction of movement isn't good, and goodness has rather to do with liberty than with direction. The full definition of goodness cannot easily be shoehorned into the mere handful of dimensions our language supplies, but there seems to be an arrow to liberty, just like there is one to time and in fact even complexity itself.

Our adjective is used 102 times, and from it derive:

The verb αγαθοποιεω (agathopoieo), meaning to do good, which is as tricky an activity as its adjective pertains. But since ultimately all souls will fully connect, the activity described by the noun αγαπη (agape) is probably a great place to start. Our verb is used a mere 11 times, and from it in turn derive:

The noun αγαθοποιια (agathopoiia), meaning good-doing (1 PETER 4:19 only).

The adjective αγαθοποιος (agathopoios), meaning good-doing. It's used only, in 1 PETER 2:14, substantially, in the sense of someone of does good.

The noun αγαθωσυνη (agathosune), meaning goodness, that is a quality pertaining to the positive direction of liberty. It's used 4 times; 

Together with the adjective φιλος (philos), meaning beloved: The adjective φιλαγαθος (philagathos), meaning loving what is good or virtue-loving (TITUS 1:8 only). From this word derives:

What is bound on earth - poverty and corruption by what is good and noble- is bound to us by God during our swim up from the depths. Unintelligent persons cannot be counted upon for these purposes hence the arrival of the Christ to Ceasarea.

As for why Jesus asked the Disciples to keep the secret of his Name a mystery:

=3371, גג‎‎ז‎א‎, "this roof."

 "...in concealing His infinite presence, G‑d allows us to exist as limited and defined personalities in a physical world. Without this concealment, we would exist—but only like light within the body of the sun. There, but not as a defined or separate reality at all.

However, this concealment is only a starting point. It is not meant to remain in force forever. Our task, especially in these unprecedented and transformational times, is to seek out and perceive the truth—to remain human, yes, but in a way that allows us to relate to reality as it really is."

To be able to witness the world as it really is and remember what we have been told by our spiritual ancestors about what it must become.

To continually proclaim the Infinite from the deep within the well of the finite is the secret to understanding the furthest mysteries of the embodiment of the God of Israel called the Christ.

To steadily reveal how this path, this Casement of the cutaneous over that which is subcutaneous is called the Rock of the Church, prescribed since ancient times.

[chickennugqueen]

1-50 please

for anyone that doesn't want to know all this info, pls feel free to scroll lmao

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else? nope! i very much enjoy who i am

2: What is your full name? cortney rose lesovoy (follow me on instagram @/cortneylesovoy

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for? i'm 25, usually get mistaken for 18-22 lmao

4: Have you ever dyed your hair? yes! it was purple and pink for a bit, but i'm back to my natural color

5: What’s your eye color? dark brown

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it i like my body. i used to struggle with an eating disorder, and it's something that does still affect me to this day, but i also love myself and am learning to be as comfortable as i can be with it.

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings? some tattoos (more soon pls) and a couple piercings

8: What would you say is your best quality? my empathy and kindness

9: What are you really bad at? being patient and holding back my opinion on things

10: What talent do you wish you had? would like to get better at videography

11: Are you nice to everyone? everyone except fascists, nazis, and people who aren't accepting of all humanity

12: What do you think about the most? the man i adore

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself i really like who i am as a person. i'll always have growing to do but i'm happy with who i am, so i don't dislike anything about me.

14: What is your least favorite word? not sure i have one

15: What is your favorite word? anything that sounds like flabberghasted or bamboozled or something silly

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad? dad for sure

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger? always even though i'm shy

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone because i'm afraid of disappointment duh

19: Are you lying about anything right now? not that i'm aware of

20: Have you kissed someone older than you? of course

21: Do you believe in love at first sight? nope!

22: Do you believe in soulmates? i used to! but no, i don't. love is putting in the work.

23: Are looks important? eh, not really. looks will catch my attention but won't make me stay, whereas i can fall for someone's personality and not be attracted to them at first

24: Opinion on relationship age differences as long as its two consenting adults aka both over the age of 21, go for it.

25: Would you date someone off the Internet? for sure

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl? who hasn't?

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? of course. a universal experience

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now? nope!

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? absolutely during my teenage years

30: Have you ever liked your best friend? yes! when we were in college

31: How does someone win your heart? similar politics, can banter with me, isn't afraid of my past trauma, will just stick by me when shit gets hard, is my best friend

32: What turns you on? emotional connection

33: What turns you off? so many things lmao, but definitely people being too sexual right off the bat before i get to know them.

34: Do you get jealous easily? depends on the person! at the place i'm at right now, not usually

35: What is your definition of cheating? if you haven't discussed it with your partner and there's a reason you won't tell them, it's cheating.

36: Do you forgive betrayal? depends what it is. i'm a forgiving person, usually

37: Have you ever been cheated on? never been in a relationship

38: Have you ever cheated on someone? see above

39: How often do you listen to music? every dang day

40: First concert you attended hilary duff!!

41: Last movie you watched shit i don't really watch movies.... probably black widow??

42: Favorite type of movie sucker for drama and romcoms

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? a couple of my sexual assaults, yeah

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings? literally never

45: Do you fall in love easily? i don't think so. i've only loved one person.

46: Do you think people say I love you too much? nope! say it to your friends, your partners, your family, anyone you know! doesn't diminish its meaning

47: What’s your favorite holiday? christmas

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way? if someone apologizes and changes their actions or makes amends, yep!

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth? my bed i love sleeping

50: What’s your “type”? emo boys with long hair n pretty eyes for sure

[princelyhelp]

bestie you have such good taste in webcomics give us some recs

OH MY GOD FINALLY!!! SOMETHING IM GOOD AT!!! okay so, a lot of stuff i read are queer webcomics ( specifically with gay men bc majority of the webcomics that are online and actually GOOD,,,, are about gay men ). anyways, here's a list of my favorite webcomics and where to read them.

omgcheckplease by ngozi: a webcomic written by a black woman aka my literal role model. omgcp is about a gay man named eric bittle who gets a hockey scholarship at samwell university. we watch eric learn about being a fratbro, coming in terms with his identity, fall in love, and become confident in playing hockey. it’s really cute and completed!! homophobia isn’t a huge part of the plot ( thank god ), like it’s there but the webcomic isn’t about the homophobic world. it’s just about bitty and his baking vlogs <3

tripping over you by suzana harcum: LITERALLY MY GO TO WEBCOMIC WHENEVER I’M SAD!!! CURRENTLY ON MY FOURTH REREAD. about liam and milo who are basically high school sweethearts and their lives from their last year of high school to their first year of college. deals with depression, disconnect between children and parents, divorced parents who still argue, arguments that happen in a relationship, and just finding yourself after turning 18/19. my favorite part of this webcomic is def the wedding scene bc i love love ( despite being aromantic ). 

heartstopper by alice oseman: YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I WAS GONNA ADD THIS!!! everyone knows of this webcomic bc it’s so popular out of the three. literally makes me so happy and i relate to the characters a lot ( especially when it comes to my mental health and how that affects me on a daily ). gonna cry when the netflix series drop 

autophobia by g.h.s.t: sobbing, i love this. i think i have a thing for webcomics that deal with depression,,,,, probably bc i can relate to all of them AOGPIOAJGAOIGA also a gay love story but with high schoolers learning more about themselves, friendships coming to an end, learning to love and trust yourself again. it’s cute but also so sad. also if you talk shit about the artwork,,, i’ll throw a brick at you 

magical boy by the kao: OMG!!!! LITERALY!!! AMAZING!!! LOVE MY MANS KAO!!!! it’s a webcomic about a transman who comes from a long line of magical girls who protect the world from monsters. you can read it on tapas but you would have to pay ( VALID DO IT!!! IT’S SO GOOD!!! ). please be aware because the webcomic deals with the main character’s identity and his transphobic town and mother ( the dad is amazing, supports his beautiful son ). it’s still a huge rec

demon house by joanne kwan: this webcomic ended and im still not over it. literally a girl moves into this house with demons and it’s just her friendship with them. it’s also the first webcomic to truly draw angels how they REALLY look, which made me so happy. cried when it had to end. still crying over it OAIGJAIOGJAIG

the flying ship by jem milton: BEAUTIFUL, 10/10, I LOVE FOUND FAMILY PLOTS!!! it’s that diverse fantasy webcomic that we all need and deserve. the main character has a disability, another character is genderfluid, IT’S GAY!!!!! please read it, i need more people to read it. also the main character is written beautifully and doesn’t let their disability stop them from kicking ass ( bc people seem to think that disabled people cannot do the same shit as able bodied people )

lady knight by lion illustration: on webtoon and it’s truly amazing! about a bunch of 15 y/o who are training to become knights to beat up the darkness or whatever. but there’s a twist bc the main is a woman and usually, the knights are men but she was chosen. love her and her two best friends, ot3!!! 

hooky by miriam bonastre tur: I REMEMBER READING THIS WHEN THE VERY FIRST CHAPTER GOT DROPPED!!! about twin witches who missed the bus to their witch boarding school so they go to some random guy’s house to learn magic from him. starts off cute and silly before becoming dark and twisted. i sobbed when this ended, i’m still crying. 

other recs that i won’t go into details about: hooves of death, miss abbott and the doctor, lil char and the gang, midnight poppy land, LMLY, heir’s game, tower of god, boyfriends, space boy, siren’s lament, where tangets meet, always human, your letter, the girl from class, elena, for the sake of sita, matchmaker hero, kids are all right ( you will cry ), annarasumanara, and the stories of those around me

[terrencetheshark13]

1. Probably my Zoro tapestry I got as a gift

2. I'm not sure, my current height is good enough for me

3. It depends, if it's freshly cleaned it's a very light golden brown, in a day or two it gets dark brown

4. Uhhh I dunno!

5. Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

6. Not really, no

7. I dunno, don't remember being a kid much, probably reading?

8. Music probably?, I have others but not really any I like

9. I dunno, probably physical affection

10. Pretty often, sometimes out of nowhere

11. Maybe 1-2 of them

12. Hmm, I'm not sure, maybe Spanish?

13. Somewhere more north, colder, I like the cold and I want to see snow again

14. You'd have to ask other people that, I'm surprised by how cool people think I am if that counts

15. Three days ago... I'll take one today

16. A couple months back, when reddit started the api shit

17. Not really, not now

18. Hmm, it depends if you mean "dream" as ambition, or "dream" as in what happens during sleep, not sure what it would be for the sleep one

19. A cowboy (does this count as a job?? Just like, a ranch hand or something)

20. I dunno, something calm and warm

21. A lot

22. Somewhere not as actively dangerous for minorities as the USA

23. I don't choose favourites, but it'd have to be one of my friends

24. Yeah probably

25. Hmm, I'm not sure, perhaps the rare Thanksgiving where we can visit our grandma, and most of my dad's side of the family is there, or Christmas

26. I'm not sure, don't feel like sharing either

27. No idea, I want to be a vampire for this year though

28. Cooking probably!

29. Yeah??

30. Yes, one

31. If the world is gonna get fixed without killing off humanity, and how long is it gonna take

32. I don't even know what this question means

33. I don't know

34. Refer to question 5

35. Whenever I shower

36. Sometimes, not usually though

37. My room, or if it's late enough I'll go out to the corner of the yard and look at the stars

38. They both have their issues, but probably my dad

39. I try to stay kind

40. A couple of my friends voices, can't think of anyone else off the top of my head

41. I'm not sure, something hopeful, or telling people to be kinder

42. There's lots, ambitions, things I want to see or watch, books I want to read, and more

43. There's a lot, and I don't feel like opening that can of worms right now

44. Not until I have proof somehow

45. I prefer the book almost every time

46. Either Autumn or Winter, I like the cold

47. Either the late night (2-4 am) or the early morning (6-8 am)

48. Yes, a stuffed shark named Terrence, I named my internet persona after him

49. I don't want to talk about that sorta thing

50. (woaah we're halfway there) I bought a game that I really wanted to play only to realize it would probably not run on my laptop + it takes up a lot of space, and I missed the refund window cause it was on sale and I was thinking I could just play it when I get a better pc

51. Yes

52. Enders Game

53. I don't really hate anyone? Probably the girl who was really manipulative to me and just an all around bitch

54. I dunno man

55. I don't pick favourites with much, currently I'm really enjoying Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance again

56. I don't really know

57. No

58. No

59. Very different

60. Yeah!

61. Not really? Not that I remember (Does the app not working and me having to re-install it count?)

62. This random free puzzle game that was just a pain to play

63. Yeah, I still am

64. I usually either sorta deny them, or compliment the person back, or don't know what to say

65. Being kind, and loving me

66. Yeah

67. Does my partner count?

68. Mhm!

69. What??

70. I don't really ship people

71. Something by Queen, perhaps Too Much Love Will Kill You, but I love so many of their songs

72. No

73. Probably

74. It varies

75. Sometimes

76. Not really

77. Yes, a dog

78. A green that I really like

79. I'd worry less, and be less needy, and have a somewhat normal brain

80. Do stitches count?

81. I don't know, mosquitoes probably

82. Sleeping with a regular schedule

83. Nope

84. Sometimes

85. Yeah!

87. No, not really

88. Tumblr of course, and Discord

90. I think when it gets past noon it doesn't count as staying up anymore

91. Yes, they were annoying

92. I hate skibidi toilet.

93. Cool jackets

94. Hell yeah

95. Hell yeah! It looks neat and there's nothing wrong with it

96. Man I don't know, how can you dislike a time? It's a natural process of the universe, nothing to hate about it

97. If I notice it, yeah

98. I had it on military for a bit, but switched it back

99. Yes, it's not bad (in my experience), but if I could be somewhere else I probably would

100. Hell yeah, I'm a queer ass genderfuck

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?