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erghlrblrblrblr · 11 months ago

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A Happy Headverse Holiday

(Based on @sapphire-heart-tippy 's noncanon Sapphire Heartverse spin-off!)

--------------

Jonathan awoke in his jar with a start.

His surroundings were all the same as they always were, the cold, dimly-lit confines of Dio's fridge for as long as he can remember.

At least, now he was no longer lonely.

Around him were his fellow disembodied heads, in jars of their own, products of failed magical experiments Dio had been performing in an experimental attempt to get their rightful bodies back. Each and every time was unsuccessful, and as the fridge grew more crowded with newcomers Jonathan couldn't help but feel that Dio was just entirely reluctant to give him his body back.

At least now he wasn't lonely.

For many, many years, Jonathan dreaded the prospect of being forgotten, all alone, in the fridge. That one day, the door would never again open, and he would be left in his jar, to languish away for all eternity.

But now he wasn't alone, as the sleeping figures of his fellow severed heads now surrounded him, reclining in their jars and immersed in their life-giving fluid. Some his old friends from a time long passed, others new fellows from years after his life. And of course, a few who were once Dio's agents who recieved the most ironic of punishments for mistreating him. Only Dio himself had the privilege.

Such was the day, every single day, in his routine. But today, he knew it was a special day.

"Wake up, everyone!" he proclaimed cheerfully. "Today is a very special day!"

The other heads began to stir.

"Mmm....is it our anniversary, dear Jojo?" mumbled Erina sleepily, from the jar next to him.

"Or perhaps the day that vampire finds the mercy to give us our body back?" came the irate reply from Zeppeli, in another adjacent jar.

"No, don't be silly!" Jonathan answered with a warm, hearty laugh. "It's Christmas Eve!"

"But I don't celebrate Christmas," piped up a confused Kempo from a lower rung of the fridge. "I'm not of that...seasonal culture."

"Don't fret, mate," reasurred his partner Tattoo from the jar next to him. "You'll probably come to love it!"

"Besides, what's there to even celebrate about?" grumbled Steely Dan from a jar above his level. "We're severed heads in a fridge and you all think about the holidays?"

"Well, since there isn't anything we can do about our current state the least we can do is make the most of it!" Jonathan snapped. "Besides, it's a great relief from our monotonous decapitated life to have something to celebrate, for once!"

"So, what do you plan today, dear?" Erina asked him, sweetly.

"First thing's first," answered Jonathan. "We gotta have Vanilla take us out first."

-------------

Vanilla was in the kitchen, whipping up the ingredients for Tippy's favorite holiday pie, when an off-key chorus of Christmas carols began emanating from the fridge. The other fridge, not the one for food, which grew only louder and more grating the longer it went.

"🎵Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaayyy...🎵"

At last Vanilla could stand the ruckus no more and finally opened the fridge door to give the heads inside a stern lecture.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked Vanilla firmly, bending over to look into the level of the fridge and at those of its inhabitants. "If you would please, I am trying to work here. Please do not distract me."

"We could help," Speedwagon offered.

"Not a chance," Vanilla rebuked. "I have witnessed and cleaned up the messes you've made and the holidays are not the time for me to deal with your shenanigans!"

"Well, you could at least let us out of our jars," Jonathan pleaded. "I promise, we won't interfere with your work, but we'd like to enjoy the holidays too!"

"Please, Mr. Ice?" Erina added, giving him the sad puppy-dog eyes in an effort to convince him.

Vanilla's heart softened underneath his stern exterior.

"Alright, I will let you--" He paused as he was interrupted by a cheer from the heads, "--I will let you out! BUT! Only on the condition that you do not disturb Lord Dio in his rest, that you do not interfere with my cooking, and that you promise not to make a mess that I will have to clean up. Understood?"

The heads all sighed and groaned like a class of disgruntled preschoolers.

"Alright, we promise not to, Mr. Ice."

The process took a while, as Vanilla took each head out of their jar, wiped them dry, and brushed their hair one by one before letting them on their merry way. Straizo in particular held up the line as he took great pleasure in Vanilla's service.

"Ah yes! Please straighten up my frizzes, dear servant boy," he demanded. Vanilla frowned and combed away a few tangles in Straizo's hair.

"Move it along, you!" cried Dire impatiently, still in his jar. Once Vanilla had finished with Straizo and let him bounce off, he removed Dire from his jar, and prepared to wipe him dry, only for him to immediately try to hop away.

"Come back!" Vanilla insisted, managing to catch the wayward head before he could escape. "I don't want you dripping elixir all over Sire's fancy rugs!"

"Agh! No! Watch the hair!" Dire complained as he was patted dry by a towel.

Soon all the heads were freed from the fridge and ready to go about their business. There was now quite a lot of them, with all of Dio's failures in his dark magic, and the thumping of their neck bases echoed throughout the gloomy halls of Dio's mansion--ever so slightly less gloomy by the decorations the agents had been putting up.

Looking around, Jonathan could see, of course, Erina, Speedwagon and Zeppeli, his oldest friends and beloved spouse, Steely Dan, Alessi and Mariah, the bullies punished to become heads themselves, Doppio now a head separated from his other half, Zeppeli's grandson Caesar, and the others, in convenient pairs, Sorbet and Gelato, Squalo and Tiziano, Dire and Straizo, Kempo and Tattoo and the sworn enemies Kira and Kosaku, who at the moment were chasing each other around the hall with butter knives in their mouths.

Jonathan couldn't help a small smile from the sight. It was nice seeing some fellow friends, given a second chance, a time to celebrate the joy of family and friendship for the season. It was less than perfect, of course, but who else was lucky to get the chance to live another life again?

With some effort, Jonathan hopped over to a table overlooking a window and, using a footstool, a chair and a drawer as stepping-stones, bounced his way up until he was upon the tabletop, looking out at the window. It was nighttime, a bright moon hanging overhead in the sky, and in the distance city lights twinkled, far away in the unending expanse of the desert.

Jonathan sat by the windowsill for a long time, gazing out quietly. It wasn't long before Erina took notice, and with a bit of a struggle, made her way up to the tabletop to join him.

"Not very festive in the desert, isn't it?" she quipped.

"Oh!" Jonathan exclaimed in surprise, pivoting and wobbling on his neck base but managing to balance himself upright in time. "I didn't expect to see you here too, love."

"I just thought you seemed a little lonely," she added. "I suppose it doesn't snow down here in this hot tropical place."

"Oh, Dio made it snow here in Egypt once with his forbidden spells," Jonathan chuckled sheepishly. "That didn't end...very well."

He looked over to Erina, meeting the gaze of her beautiful blue eyes. Jonathan smiled, remembering how she was brought back the previous Christmas as the most precious gift of them all.

"I suppose all I really need to feel festive is to have you again," Jonathan said, with a slow sigh. "I never thought I'd ever spend time with you again and I'm more than fortunate, I suppose. Guess it's at least better than being dead."

"I suppose you could call this our first anniversary as heads?" Erina joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood. But Jonathan didn't seem his usual chipper self today.

Erina's smile faded. "Is...is there anything bothering you, darling?"

Jonathan sighed, and closed his eyes.

"I wish I could embrace you, dear Erina. I wish I could hold your hand and walk by your side, as we were meant to. But alas, we cannot."

"Don't be so gloomy, Jojo," Erina teased playfully. "Weren't you the one who encouraged me to keep going, in spite of our current state, just to stick it to Dio's face and deny him the satisfaction of making us miserable?"

Jonathan nuzzled her cheek. "I know, I know. Still, it's hard not to think about, isn't it? It's lovely having you back, but it's hard not to imagine the life we could have lived had we not been taken away from each other to begin with."

Erina pressed her cheek against Jonathan's, the best she could do in a reassuring hug. "Well, what's important is that I'm here with you again. And I'll be here with you, no matter what, because after having lived a full life and growing old without you--I'm not letting you go again."

Jonathan returned a warm smile. She really did brighten up his holiday, even if it, like himself and her, were missing something.

But as the two severed heads sat at the tabletop, warmly snuggling, they neglected to notice a pair of bright orange eyes watching from the darkness above. Ignoring the unseen spectator, they paid no heed as the figure retreated back into the shadows.

----------

"I could uthe a lithle athistance!" Speedwagon shouted in a muffled voice, hanging onto a holiday garland with his teeth and flailing his neck stump uselessly.

"Ugh, get down from there!" Vanilla demanded, reaching out his arms. Speedwagon loosed his grip from the garland and dropped right into Vanilla's grasp, safely landing in his outstretched arms.

"What on earth were you doing?" Vanilla demanded. "I told you to stay put!"

Speedwagon spat out some glitter from the garland. "We were only trying to help you decorate, Mr. Ice!"

"I appreciate the intent," Vanilla admitted. "But your efforts are less than...satisfactory," he said, gesturing to Zeppeli trying to help refill the punch bowl using only a scoop held in his mouth, spilling drops all over the table.

Zeppeli put down the scoop to free his mouth for speaking. "Look, my good man, we may have no hands but we're still trying our best!"

"And you don't need to try at all," Vanilla insisted, wiping the table and Zeppeli's mouth with a paper towel. "Besides, where are the others?"

Over at the balcony Sorbet had managed to pull one of the decorative balloons off with his mouth. He sucked in its contents then released it, sending it whizzing across the room and landing smack on the wall.

"Hey, check this out!" Sorbet said in a tiny, squeaky voice. "I sound like the chipmunks from TV!"

"Wait a sec," Gelato asked. "How does that even work if we don't have any lungs?"

"Beats me," squeaked Sorbet.

Beneath the mistletoe under the windowsill, Squalo and Tiziano shared a passionate kiss in the moonlight.

"Ti amo, mia cara," Squalo said, before planting the loudest, noisiest smooch on Tiziano's awaiting lips.

"Get a room, or a jar, you two!" squeaked Sorbet from across the hall.

"EAAAGHHHHH!" came a scream, and all the heads turned to Alessi bouncing around in a panic with his hair ablaze...again.

"Stop, drop and roll, man!" Steely Dan yelled, trying to hop after him while pushing a fire extinguisher with his forehead.

"How do you work thith thing?" Mariah exclaimed, trying to work the extinguisher handle with her teeth.

"In the sink!" Vanilla demanded. "IN THE SINK!" He grabbed Alessi by his smoldering hairdo and dunked him in the running water, extinguishing the flame and drawing a relieved sigh from the head.

"Alright, you all!" Vanilla demanded, pulling Alessi back up from the sink and placing him on the counter. "Do you want me to put you all back in the fridge to miss out on the holidays?"

"NO!!" came the unified reply.

"Yes," groaned Alessi with a defeated sigh, his hair still smoking.

"I don't have the patience for you all right now," Vanilla grumbled. "I'm leaving you in the care of Ramon and Okuyasu while I get my cooking done!"

"Again?" Ramon moaned. Vanilla patted his fluffy hair gently.

"Just for this one time, alright?" Vanilla said reassuringly. "Papa has important things to do, and I did promise to let them enjoy the holidays."

"Don't you worry, Mister Ice!" Okuyasu chuckled. "This is gonna be a piece of cake!"

----------

It was not a piece of cake.

"Boy, you guys sure are a handful," Ramon gave an exhausted huff as he removed the candy canes from Kosaku and Kira's mouths that they were using to sword-fight each other with, and picked them both up.

"He started it!" Kosaku snapped, struggling in one of Ramon's hands.

"Like you always do," Kira morosely grumbled from Ramon's other hand as the young lad tried to keep them separated.

"Can't you two just get along for the holidays?" Ramon sighed.

In the meantime, at the living room, Okuyasu was preoccupied with dressing up the other heads for the occasion.

"Don't you look splendid!" he cheerfully exclaimed, as he crossed his arms and admired his handiwork.

"Personally, I look downright ridiculous," Dire complained, as he looked in the mirror at his festive elf hat and jingling bell neck base.

"Oh, speak for yourself, dear friend!" Straizo retorted, admiring his Santa hat and fluffy woolen neck base, the closest thing he could wear to a Christmas sweater. "You look beautifully festive!"

Dire frowned and began to bounce away, jingling and ringing as he went.

Ramon gave Okuyasu a friendly pat on the back. "Looks like someone doesn't like your fashion sense, bro!" Okuyasu laughed back, but his face visibly sank at the mention of "bro".

Ramon noticed his friend's slight change in mood. "You okay there, my man?"

"I miss my bro," Okuyasu admitted.

"Oh," Ramon said sympathetically. "Where is he?"

"Oh, well...he, uh...died." Okyuasu sadly explained. "Sure, he was kind of mean and pushy, but...he was my bro, bro?"

Jonathan noticed Okuyasu's gloomy mood and hopped over to his side, tapping his leg with his forehead. "You okay there?" Jonathan asked. "You suddenly felt less jolly."

"I'm okay," Okuyasu answered, trying to smile once more. He looked down at Jonathan, who grinned up at him from the floor with a warm cheerful smile and bright friendly eyes.

And suddenly, Okuyasu had an idea...

"Say, Mr. Jojo, how exactly did Mr. Dio bring back your friends?"

"Oh, he used a strand of their hair and a spell from his Big Evil Spellbook Edition IV, in his dreary dark magic lab, if I remember. Why he once did--" Jonathan paused at the realization. "Wait. You're not telling me you're planning to--"

But Okuyasu had already run off, faster than Jonathan could bounce after him.

"Mr. Zeppeli, Mr. Zeppeli! Which way to Mr. Dio's dreary dark magic lab?" he asked the moustached head, who was hopping along the hall.

"Why would you even ask such a thing?" Zeppeli replied. "You're not planning to do anything, are you?"

"Just tell me and I'll let you have a nice, cold rum when we have dinner." Okuyasu bargained.

"Ah, it's at the second floor near the lounge room, dear boy!" Zeppeli said without hesitation. "See you at dinner!" he added, and happily hopped away with an excited spring in his bounce.

Okuyasu gave a mischievous grin, as he peeked into his wallet and looked at the single blond hair he had found among his old stuff.

-------

At last, dinner was ready, and the agents, the heads, and all of Dio's villainous guests gathered around the long table for the evening toast.

"A toast, to a wickedly fabulous year in this manor," Dio cackled from the end of the long end of the table, holding up a wine glass filled with what probably wasn't red wine given its bearer was, well, a vampire.

"A toast to another year with my two wonderful husbands!" Tippy cheered, cuddling up to Vanilla and Bel while holding up a glass of bright blue soda.

"A toast to our successful La Squadra businesses that are totally not fronts for illegal activities!" added an unnaturally-happy Risotto, brandishing a cup of Ghiaccio's bubble tea.

"A toast for hopefully getting our body back," groaned a snarky Zeppeli, staring helplessly at his glass of rum. Ramon gave an amused giggle and lifted the glass for him.

"A toast for...whatever it is people of this century and age toast about," Wamuu added, taking a bite out of his wineglass and spitting in disgust.

"And a toast for our kind, generous and compassionate host, Lord Dio!" Vanilla finished off, prompting a subtle eye roll from Jonathan.

"Let's get this party started!" Bel exclaimed, setting off a couple of party poppers.

Slow, classical music began to play on the disc player.

"Hey!" Hol Horse complained. "That's not the proper song!"

"They don't come in Braille!" N'doul complained, fumbling around among the music tapes.

"Let me try," Hol Horse grumbled, and popped in the disk for "Jingle Bell Rock".

"Ah, that's more like it." he added.

In the mansion's main hall celebrants both bodied and bodiless partied the whole night, reveling in the festivities. Heroes and villains called a truce for the night, setting aside their differences for one evening as they instead preoccupied themselves with their festivities and welcoming a new year ahead, of which both Dio and Jonathan had done a hundred times and Wamuu over a thousand.

"No hard feelings, little head man?" Wamuu asked Caesar, giving him a pat on his hair.

"I mean, you did squish me, but it's not like we get anything from being angry about it 'till now." Caesar said matter-of-factly, taking a sip from a wine glass using his lips and spilling them all over himself.

"This salsa is great!" Doppio exclaimed as he messily wolfed down the condiment from atop the table.

"Agh, not the SALSA!" Diavolo cried, as his stomach was linked to Doppio just as Dio's was to Jonathan. "I'm allergic to salsa! Urkgh--" he choked, and fell to the ground.

"Is he...dead?" Ghiaccio asked, poking him with his foot.

"He dies a lot, don't worry," Sorbet reassured.

"He'll be fine in about 30 seconds." Gelato added.

"Say, where IS Okuyasu, by the way?" Ramon asked, noticing his friend's absence.

"Heh, I suppose he'll join us later, I guess?" Zeppeli laughed sheepishly as he delicately took a swig of rum from his glass.

The festivities continued all until dawn, when the sky at last began to faintly brighten.

"Well, it has been a pleasure to host your party night but I must be on my way. Off to bed I go!" Dio concluded urgently before withdrawing to his room before the sun rose. Vampires were most certainly not morning people.

And eventually, tuckered out from all the partying through the night and until morning, Vanilla, with a yawn, began to round up all the heads one by one, returning them to their jars.

"Already?" Tattoo complained. "We were just getting started."

"I suppose we've had too much for one day," sighed Kempo as he was lowered into his jar.

"Straizo, here, Dire, here, Zeppeli, here, Speedwagon, here," Vanilla mumbled as he finished his head-count. With the heads all snugly back in the fridge, Vanilla began to close the door.

"Hey," Jonathan added just as the door closed. Vanilla gave a pause.

"A happy holidays to you, Mr. Ice."

"And to you as well, Mr. Jojo." Vanilla replied, with a warm smile atypical of his stern face, before he shut the door.

Soon it was dark and cold again.

Sleepy from the whole night's party, and from all the merry-making that took the entire evening, Jonathan gave one final happy glance at the now-sleeping Erina in the jar next door, before falling into a deep and restful slumber.

...one so restful that, later that night, he did not even wake as a pair of clawed hands silently opened the fridge door and gently lifted his jar out, with him asleep inside.

------------

"Wake up, Jojo!" came Erina's voice.

"Huh?" Jonathan mumbled as he scratched his hair with his hand. "How long was I asleep?"

Jonathan paused in shocked realization.

Hand?

Jonathan looked down. At first, he thought he had been laid on somebody's shirtless chest, and whoever that was had been the one to give his head a scratch.

But something felt different.

Jonathan tried to wiggle his neck stump, but to his surprise, the body he was laying on lurched to the side too, tumbling off the bed. He braced himself, expecting to roll away underneath a table and get stuck again, except he didn't roll.

He wasn't laying on top of someone's body, he was...attached to it. Jonathan gasped in disbelief.

"I have a body."

"I HAVE A BODY!" Jonathan joyfully exclaimed as the realization set in.

He thought hard about moving his arms, and to his amazement, the arms, his arms, moved in unison with his thoughts. He thought of kicking his legs, and to his delight, his legs kicked in unison.

"I have a body, dear Erina." he said with unbridled mirth, tears of happiness welling up in his eyes. He tried to wipe them off, and clumsily slapped himself in the face.

Erina giggled. "Yes, Jojo. You do have a body. It seems...you're a little out of practice though."

Jonathan gingerly reached out to Erina, careful not to knock her off the bedside table. She gently nuzzled his hand.

"Wait, whose body is this?" Jonathan pondered. He tried to stand up to see in the mirror, but unaccustomed to having legs again, he stumbled and fell to the floor.

He clumsily crawled his way over to the mirror, Erina hopping off the table and bouncing over to Jonathan's side.

He inspected himself in the mirror.

He was wearing a pair of of black shorts (and gave a sigh of relief that he wasn't naked), and slowly he ran his newfound fingers over his muscular form that once again was his. There was no mistaking it--the dark hairs that the body had matched his dark blue crowning glory, the scar across the neck traced where his body had been rightfully rejoined to his head, and, most tellingly, there was the star. The birthmark upon his shoulder that confirmed beyond doubt that Jonathan's body had been returned to its proper owner.

Balancing onto his knees, Jonathan gently picked up Erina's head--or rather, Erina-- and laid her gently across his chest. She smiled proudly at him.

"Now that you have arms...let me give you a kiss, Jojo." He lifted her up to his face, and she gave him a loving peck on the cheek.

"Come on, my dear," Jonathan said. "Let's come and show the others!"

-------------

Tippy, Bel and Vanilla were busy opening up gifts in the living room when they heard a series of loud thumps, coming from the spare bedroom. Tippy thought at first that it was just the heads bouncing around, but this one seemed...louder. Heavier, even.

And, to everyone's surprise, as the noise reached its loudest, out of the corner came--none other than Jonathan.

Jonathan...with a body.

"Dear lord, you're HUGE!" Bel exclaimed, seeing the towering figure that he'd gotten so used to seeing as just a severed head.

"No way!" Tippy agreed, looking up at the six-foot-five former head. Jonathan felt rather...odd, looking down at Tippy who now was much smaller.

Jonathan hopped over to the counter, feet firmly together, and awkwardly placed Erina on the counter with trembling hands.

"Don't be silly, Jojo!" Erina laughed. "You don't need to hop around anymore!"

"Sorry," Jonathan laughed in an embarrased tone. "Force of habit."

"My, you are...quite a sight," Vanilla said, impressed at how tall Jonathan was with his full body. "I do feel you haven't quite gotten used to having a body again, but...congratulations, Jojo."

"He'll get used to it again soon enough."

The voice came from Dio's room, and sure enough the vampire stepped forth from his boudoir, gracefully and elegantly stepping down the staircase.

"Wait a second!" Jonathan said. "If this is MY body, then whose--"

"Don't fret, dear brother. Besides, you haven't even thanked me for the favor I gave you. I heard you weeping all night to her about how you missed your body, and it was pathetic. Unbearably irritating. Now say thanks, Jojo."

Jonathan sighed. "Thank you, Dio," he huffed, just to humor him. "Again, whose...body is that?"

"Oh, of course I wasn't just giving up the convenience of having such a powerful body as yours, as generous as I did feel this year! I found the next best and closest thing there is," he slyly said, turning his back and pointing to the star on his shoulder.

"HEY! You double-crossing blonde bastard! This wasn't part of the deal!" cried an angry voice from the floor, as a very displeased disembodied head came chin-scooting after Dio, tumbling down the stairs and rolling to a stop near his feet.

"JOSEPH?" Erina exclaimed in bewilderment.

"You said you needed my help to give Grandpa his body back!" screamed Joseph's head, rolling around in frustration.

"And thank you for letting me...borrow yours for a while." Dio laughed, picking up Joseph's head and putting him next to Caesar on the countertop.

"Come on, Jojo, it's not too bad being a head!" teased Caesar with a playful bump of his forehead. "Heh, at least NOW we're even!"

Joseph sighed. "Fine! I suppose Grandpa Jonathan does deserve his body back. But you better give back mine soon, you wretched plasma-sipper, or else--"

A loud scream from the kitchen interrupted the exchange caught everyone's attention, as Okuyasu rushed into the room, carrying a noisy bundle under his arm.

"It's alright, bro! Happy holidays!" Okuyasu said in an anxious voice.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY BODY?!" replied a voice from the bundle.

Okuyasu noticed the awkward stares of the crowd. "Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I'd just like you to meet by brother, Keicho!" he said with a grin, lifting up the struggling and clearly displeased head for everyone to see.

"YOU RESURRECTED A HEAD WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?!" Dio cried furiously. "Do you know how WRONG you could have gotten that spell?"

"I'm impressed someone like you could actually pull it off," Vanilla shrugged.

"Oh, it's just like playing a video game! He seems alright. Er...mostly," Okuyasu boasted. "Welcome back, big bro, and merry Christmas?"

Keicho's head glared at Okuyasu from his arms. "You have a LOT of explaining to do, young man."

---------

"So now that Jonathan's gotten his body back, what about the rest of us?" Zeppeli complained.

"I suppose Lord Dio found him an easier subject given he had a pre-existing body to begin with." Vanilla explained. "Yours will be harder, given his magic will have to recreate yours from scratch..."

"What about OUR bodies?" Steely Dan demanded. "They're still out there, aren't they?"

"If we can convince them to come back," Vanilla warned. "Last I heard they were cross-country skiing in Canada!"

A collective groan came from Alessi, Steely Dan and Mariah.

"Sucks to be you!" Okuyasu laughed at the trio of bullies.

"And to be me, huh?" Keicho mumbled from inside his jar.

"Oh, no no!" Okuyasu fumbled at his faux pas. "I promise I'll find a way to get your body back! Eventually..." he gave an awkward giggle.

Meanwhile on the floor, Caesar gave a nudge to Joseph as the latter tried to bounce.

"Ugh! I did NOT expect to spend the holidays stuck like you, Caesarino!" Joseph whined. "Now how can I pull off my Secret Joestar Technique with no legs to run with?!"

"You don't," Caesar stated flatly.

"Don't you have any classes or something to learn how to pull this off?!" Joseph complained.

"Well, I suppose Headucation 101 is cancelled for the semester, now that our lead teacher isn't a head anymore..." Caesar quipped, as he bounced over to the ledge overlooking the guest room, with Joseph clumsily following suit.

There, in the guest room, was Jonathan, dressed in a formal suit for the first time in a hundred years, on a body to call his own. Next to him was Erina, placed atop a mannequin body from the department store where Jonathan had worked as a display dummy when he was a head. She was "wearing" a bright red ballroom gown, and the mannequin was mounted on a set of swivel chair wheels, allowing Jonathan to tow her along.

"May I have the last dance with you, my dear?" Jonathan said, as he reached out to gently hold one of Erina's rubbery mannequin hands. Though she couldn't feel it, she felt his loving touch anyway.

"Of course you can, Jojo," Erina smiled. "I have waited a lifetime to dance with you again."

"As have I," Jonathan smiled. "Perhaps once your true body is restored we may dance together as we should...but for now, this will have to do."

As the festive music played on the radio, Jonathan held Erina's mannequin hands as they twirled about on the dance floor, smiling with pure joy as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Aww, that's so cute!" Tippy quipped.

"And weird," Bel added.

"But mostly cute," Vanilla concluded. "I suppose Mr. Jojo deserves it."

It wasn't quite the perfect way to cap off the bizarre adventures of the mansion, but for once, one problem had been fixed. The rest...would be harder and could come later.

But for now, there was only a moment that had waited a century. And to the two, all that mattered was the last dance put on hold for too long to wait.

"This is the best gift you could have ever given me, even if this mannequin body isn't exactly dance-worthy..." Erina said. "But it's a gift I treasure from the bottom of my metaphorical heart."

"And same to you, dear Erina," Jonathan said as he pulled her in for a hug, for the first time in many years.

"A happy holiday to you, my beloved."

"And to you as well."