#<- didnt want to put it in the tag at first but then i remembered its already a mess lmao
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Thanks for the tags that's so interesting! I'm really happy you survived and that you're still alive :>
I wish I could have a free trial of death just to see if it's worth it
#unironically I've survived two ndes where i was resuscitated after my heart gave out and after surviving an accidental overdose#when you come back after being resuscitated everything HURTS#you know how your hands or feet can go numb and then hurts and feels like static??#yeah youre Entire Body will feel like that#and I remember gasping painfully and choking when I was back#the first time I remember seeing my body on the ground from outside of my body#the second time everything was just nothingness before I came back#everything faded like I was passing out#so my guess was the second time was not as severe than my first and I didnt fully leave my body yet#the first time was insane#anyway i put this in the tags to not take over your post#just wanted to add my 2¢#:)
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Happy 10th birthday to Cercerion!
OUGHHH UR RIGHT CERCIE IS 10 YEARS OLD NOW !!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY BELOVEDEST DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HIS WHOLE LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ALSO IM RLY HAPPY HIS OLD DESIGN IS NOW MUCH OLDER THAN HIS FIRST DESIGN WOAH!!!!!!#since i drew the old one SO MUCH back in 2014 i remembered it as being so super prevalent. that when i changed his head shape a couple year#it took a while to get used to the not boxy head but god it was so much more fun to draw the beak. and now its the standard#and it makes me rly happy fr fr. i actually thought i changed his design like only 2 years ago but it was SIX YEARS WHAT!! HOW TIME FLIES..#ask#cercerion#SORRY I JJST WANTED TO REPOST ALL OF THESE#omg dude this also means u and i have known each other for 10 years thats CRAZY#this photoset is so funny its like he went from being :D to being >:U over the years but i assure you now hes more chill than before#HIS COLORS HAVE NOT CHANGED FOR EIGHT YEARS ALSO WHATTTTT i just chose the perfect hues forever#sobbing and crying i love this guy so much#i dont show him online a lot or at least i didnt as muhc until recently but hes always in my brain#cercerion may as well be a part of my soul at this point#HAPPYU TENTH BIRTHDAY CERCIE I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOWING KISSES INTO A HURRICANE FOR U#windyart#sure ill put it in my tag. this is literally my art
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i think lesbians living in small homophobic towns should be allowed to fuck a girl, kill her boyfriend and then move out. whats more i think they should do that as many times as they find necessary
#notes app#my animal#<- didnt want to put it in the tag at first but then i remembered its already a mess lmao
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my brain is so evil. why do i have no energy to clean my room. why does it all go to writing weird fucked up yuri. like why am i sitting here enraptured heart and soul by a piece of writing that was meant to be a fragment at best but i am discovering has three entire parts to it. why is that where we are at. i need to clean my fucking room
#unfortunately the yuri does rule#i pitched a hannibal au for my favourite freaks like a week ago and then the other day i woke up with a fucking Vision#and so i was like okay. ill put this little fragment into my scraps collection. maybe polish it up to be enough for a screenshot to send to#invested parties (my friends). and then something fucking happened#i finished this first segment and sent out because like. i didnt have suuuuper concrete visions for the rest#and i didnt want to promise that i was going to finish the other segments and then immediately let it rot in my documents#which is usually the smart choice. however i have just woken up and written a solid chunk of the last segment so what does it even matter#we are in for the fucking long haul now. i guess#sometimes im like maybe i should post my writing on tumblr dot gay. i do keep talking about my writing all the time. maybe i should do that#and then i remember this website is public and not just me and my beautiful mutuals and im like Never Mind#thats too scary. mutuals only.#anyway i should go back to bed this has been your regular sydpost where the majority of the content is actually in the tags#original post placeholder tag
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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they are putting me into a situationnnn
#putting it in the tags#anyway it’s a state investigation so i like legally could not lie in my report and also this school will kick you out for lying#but also as a person with morals i can’t be like ohhh yeah all that happened :) cuz. I HAVE MORALS i’m not gonna condem someone like that#so at first i went in and was like nooo i didnt see any of that :) and then the lady started pulling out exact examples and i was like. uhhh#so maybe i did. see it i can’t remember though haha :)#BUT THEY COULD ALLL TELL I WAS LYING CUZ I DIDNT WANT TO TEL THE TRUTH AND SNITCH ON THIS GUY#and at the end before i left i was like look ma’am i know you have a lot of evidence i know you have to do the report#and i may have seen some of this but he’s a really good guy#and then gave a pleading 5 minute argument about how they should drop the case#THIS IS INSANEEE
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(shows up a month or so later) ✨
i shouldnt have been surprised that kagetsu won the poll ALSKDJF as soon as i saw the first votes i was like "ohhh no"
so ANYWAYS kagetsu !! and a few other doots ive done of him i wanted to show :)
#doots#the other doots i wanted to do from the polls WONT BE AS EXTENSIVE#this was just special mostly bc i drew kagetsus before but never showed on main >_>#and then decided with a DIFFERENT poll 'okay lets just show all the kagetsu dootdoots'#so here you go. some kagetsu dootdoots#i have to look at the poll again i dont remember who i put LAKSJDFHALH#ANYHOOTS#the only reason why i finished this was bc SOMEONE DIDNT WANNA SIT DOWN AND FINISH HIS LECTURES (me)#so i had to compromise and find something to make me sit while listening.#and lo and behold.#fe engage#fe17#fire emblem engage#fe kagetsu#kagetsu#damn i feel so silly tagging it w so many HRM but okay !#ALSO i love the little winter coat he has in his notebook page i think we should talk about it more#hes freezing in elusia :/ bundle him up#also that one where hes like 'its exhilarating up here!' was something i drew#when i first got his line about how tall somniel is or something like that#BUT YEAH RAMBLING TOO MUCH SORRY LMAO
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guess which part was my favorite to render challenge (impossible)
#art#artfight#this is clementine by qatoqat#gritting my teeth gnawing on the bars of my cage its fine that it looks awkward i was experimenting... its fine im normal...#i wouldve just shaded it like i normally do but i really wanted to do the eyes that way#and you cant JUST do the eyes like that. on account of the devils#i also got to contend with the new thumbnail thing today... tell me WHAT is the point of requiring a 200x200 square in the first place#if youre just gonna make me crop it again. be so for real with me#i wouldnt be that ticked about it except it started skewed off to the side when i put the thumbnail in???#so i had to. get it as close to normal as possible#instead of just importing it and being done.#glad to see that 100k being put to good use to better the site#complaining aside this is my third attack this year meaning i have reached my minigoal :3#getting to eight should be a breeze if i can keep pace. huzzah !#aaand this piece is a spiritual revenge thingy#the user had drawn my (now deleted) wc oc pretty late in the season. and at that point i had already mentally checked out from it#i cant remember whether it was i forgot to draw anything in return or that i only saw it after the event ended#but they then didnt end up participating the following year#you have no idea how many times i checked that profile.#obviously they are participating again this year so i can finally put it to rest#sidenote they almost exclusively draw cats. like 3k attacks they have probably 90% are cats. and all of their characters are cats. exquisit#after this i have one more revenge i wanna get to and then i will finish up my bookmarks#i <3 putting essays in the tags
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ohhhhhhh my god. ohhhhhhh my god. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god.
#rubys text tag#UWAAAAAA TEN GOKAIGER WAS SO GOOD!!!!! theres so much i loved about it#I LOVED SEEING EVERYONE COME BACK TOGETHER!!!! I REALLY LIKED SEEING HOW THE FIRST HALF OF THE FILM PLAYED OUT#they like took a more realistic approach to how gokaiger would be like in the 2020s and i really liked where they were going with the plot#it didnt matter that the villains ended up being alien pirates. THAT JUST MEANT MORE RIVAL PIRATE FACTIONS#which i felt gokaiger needed. to me personally. as a one piece enjoyer#I LOVED THE REFERENCES it was cute how basco's actor returned as a derby commentator and he had a cute monkey plush#i like teared up when i saw everyone do their gokai change and when they played the updated hero getter#UWAAAAAA THEY REMEMBERED CHARACTERS!!!! THEY REMEMBERED OLDER CHARACTERS NOW GROWN UP!!!!#from like early on in the show!!! okay the gokai galleon forms were a lil bit clunky looking but i love that they got their own super forms#IM ACTUALLY GLAD THE SUPER SENTAI REFERENCES IN THIS ONE WERE MORE SUBTLER!!!!#because this was a film more about gokaiger than super sentai in general (zenkaiger was airing that year we dont need another#super sentai-themed celebatory project) and seeing the bts footage of the cast hanging out and having fun its just AAAAAAA#THIS WAS A FILM WITH ALOT OF LOVE AND PASSION PUT INTO IT!!!! if gokaiger the show was a super sentai celebration#ten gokaiger was a celebration of the show it came from. why the hell arent more anniversary reunion films like this#<-shes only seen ooo 10th and she thought it was pretty good. ten gokaiger blew ooo 10th out of the water THIS WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!#gokaiger spoilers#ten gokaiger spoilers#okay okay okay i think thats all i wanted to say here its just YAAAAAAY!!!!! good fucking film i was satisfied#idk how other people felt about ten gokaiger but i really loved it
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I think if the sequels make Vanessa a love interest for Mike that would be so fucking lame. If it happens I'm gonna call it forced heterosexual representation.
#ramblings#ok wait real quick im not spoiler tagging bc the main post is spoiler-free but im gonna mention spoilers here so beware#i waunt them to become besties but i dont want a romance between them#i remember watching the movie the first time and getting to the end with her in the hospital and thinking to myself#`wait holy shit they didnt set vanessa up as a love interest`#but now im terrified that its gonna end up happening anyways#i feel like its the same way im scared that shit like remnant is gonna be put into the movies when its most likely not#i rlly do not expect them to turn vanessa into a love interest but if they do i think im gonna be so mad ugh
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i whole heartedly had the maternal aunt awakening for the kids. LIKE FROM THE FIRST SCENE WHERE THEY SAID FAMILY MAN TRAITOR AND WENT BACK YO GO HSUHSUHSUSHUS SHUSHSUSHSU IN THE CORNER!!!!! I JUMPED AND GIGGLED LIKE A MANIC AS IF I KNOW SHIT BRO 😦?
I LOVE!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I REPEAT !!!!! I LOVE THE KIDS (and their dad but anyways)
i ahve a lot of thoughst and lets jot it down in the tags muehehehhehe (aw hell naw man tumblr ate my fav tag : is doctor hwa single. or rich momma sophie? help a med kid out!!!!) ALSO ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE CONTRIBUTION TO ATEEZ FIC COMMUNITY WE CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE YAY!!!
the parent trap | KHJ
part 1 of the Night in Hollywood!series
☆ trope: exes to lovers!au, divorced!au
☆ pairing: producer!hongjoong x designer!reader, dad!joong x mom!reader
☆ warnings: nsfw (mdni), swearing, mentions of food, mentions of food poisoning, female desc. reader, drinking, suggestiveness, smut, slight!breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), overstim, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap!) nipple play, titty sucking, marking, praise, slightdom!joong, blond!joong bc that itself is too much for me, mentions of (early) pregnancy, you’re both in your early thirties and make an unbelievably stubborn couple in this!
☆ synopsis: AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each other’s houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions you’ve swept under the rug? . . .
☆ word count: 18.1k
☆ playlist: soulful strut by young-holt unlimited, l-o-v-e by nat king cole, just the way you are by billy joel, slipping through my fingers by abba, this will be (an everlasting love) by natalie cole
☆ a/n: it’s finally here. I can’t believe I’m writing this and saying it’s finally here oh my goodness. first off, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me with the series so far (shoutout to @kitten4sannie , @byuntrash101 and especially @desirehorizon for being amazing!) everyone’s sweet comments have been greatly appreciated, and I just hope this silly little fic brings a smile to your everyday lives.
ty for making writing worth it as a writer. now cue the opening credits!
“ABSOLUTELY NOT” Hongjoong says.
“But dadd,” she whines, clutching the wrinkled pamphlet closer to her chest. Eunseo’s small hands are covered in purple doodles her sister drew using a glitter pen.
“Why not?” the girl complains, shrugging her shoulders.
He sighs, pushing his glasses up with one hand as he continues typing away at the important document the producing company sent him on his laptop. He tries his best to reason with the child.
“Because, baby…” pausing to think for a moment before responding. “It would be hard for your mom and I to find a time that fits into our schedules. I’ve got work, and she must be busy as well.”
Eunseo glares at her father’s excuse.
Okay, yeah, the man knows it’s somewhat of a lie, himself.
She continues to protest by shoving the advertising pamphlet in her dads face and blocking his view of the screen. Thankfully, Hongjoong is used to these sort of work distractions, expertly avoiding her by craning his neck sideways and continuing to type away.
“But dad, it’s an amazing cottage resort! They’ve got a lake where you can go swimming in, a forest hiking trail, a bonfire to roast marshmallows and even a diner less than fifteen minutes away! So if you end up burning the camp food like last time, we can just order and eat in! Isn’t that great?” She beams.
He stops typing for a second, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he gives his first born a look that makes her immediately break into a sweet smile, batting her lashes and flashing him a look of innocence.
“Please?” She begs, standing on the edge of her feet as she gazes up at him. “The last time we went was when Eunbyul and me were toddlers.”
And how on earth could any dad’s heart not melt at the sight of his daughter trying to convince him about one harmless vacation?
Hongjoong wheels his office chair back, turning so he could look her in the eyes properly and tuck a stray hair behind her ear.
“Listen honey, I’m sorry, I really wish I could, but…” he trails off, looking back at the open tabs and file documents displayed on his computer.
Turning his head around and upon seeing a frown form on his daughter's face, he quickly reassures her.
“Once you finish your final piano recital tomorrow and your mom picks your sister up to take her to her hockey game, how about we go fishing the weekend afterwards?” he suggests, brows raising. “That’ll mean I have just the two of you all to myself.”
Eunseo mumbles under her breath, quiet but insistent enough that he catches it.
“But we’re supposed to be a family of four.”
She sulks, thinking of how that would leave you, her mother, left out of their plans. The arms holding the pamphlet up, ultimately fall down in defeat.
He places a peck on her forehead, patting her on the back. “You know, if you can get your mom to say yes, then I’ll think about it” he chuckles, knowing the highly unlikely probability of the event.
Adjusting his glasses, the producer goes back to his work, peeking his daughter slugging away from the corner of his eye.
Eunseo slumps her shoulders in defeat as she walks out of her dads office, turning the corner to see her twin sister, Eunbyeol, pressing her ears near the door with her neck outstretched. Clearly she’s been caught in the middle of trying to overhear their conversation.
The twin younger by fifteen seconds quickly rushes over, waiting expectantly.
“So? What did dad say?”
Eunseo exhales, throwing the information pamphlet away on the wooden floors and slumping against the living room couch.
“He’s totally not buggin. Said he wants to take us fishing next weekend instead. Just us three.” she grumbles.
Eunbyeol scrunches her nose at the idea.
“But dad sucks at fishing.”
Her sister groans, kicking her small feet against the couch in frustration. “I know!” Eunbyeol starts to worry, coming to sit beside her.
“Then how on earth are we going to get mom and dad to get back with each other again? They haven’t been in the same room since we were like, five!”
Her twin sister scoffs, “First, we gotta get them to have a proper conversation with each other. They barely even talk when they drop us off at each other's houses.”
Nobody truly knows why you and Hongjoong had divorced so suddenly when the girls were young. Not even themselves.
All they were used to were cold stares and one word replies shared amongst their parents, refusing to find harmony in their co-parenting.
Frankly, your girls have had enough of the performance you were both trying to maintain, looking past your expressions to realize you and your husband still held feelings for the other. It was only a matter of time and place in order to set you two up together, thus, the idea of an intimate, family getaway came into their minds.
After a few moments of letting her words hang in the air, Eunbyeol’s eyes widened to the size of saucers.
“That’s it!”
The older twin looks up quizzically, watching her sister jump off the couch and gaze at her excitedly.
“We’ll just have to force them to meet each other! We can always guilt trip them for dropping us off at their houses and making us play alone!”
Eunseo rolls her eyes at the idea. “Right, and how are we going to do that dummy? The only reason they’d do that, was if it was an emergency.”
Whoever said twin telepathy wasn’t a thing was a liar, because the second Eunseo catches onto what her sister is saying, the twins share a look of pure mischievousness, the gears in their brains working together as one.
With hushed whispers and quiet giggles, the twins immediately begin conducting their plan in secrecy near the corner of the living room, backs turned and in the middle of discussion when Hongjoong walks out of his office with an empty coffee mug.
“What are you guys doing over there?”
“Leave us alone! Family man traitor!” Eunbyeol shouts, holding a slightly hostile grudge to her father before turning back to whisper to her twin.
Hongjoong shakes his head, sighing as he heads into the kitchen.
“Then it’s perfect! I’ll stay here with dad once my piano recital is over, and then when Mom picks you up for your hockey game tomorrow, we’ll try convincing them together!”
Eunbyeol nods her head in agreement, eyes lighting up with excitement as she whispers in a hushed tone.
“And once both events end, we’ll pretend to be so sick that they have to take us to the nearby hospital.”
The other twin smirks. ”Where we’ll end up guilt tripping them into taking us to the cottage.”
They double high five in victory at their flawless plan, already waiting for tomorrow to come as soon as possible.
“A summer cottage?” you repeated, brows raising at the idea as you made a left turn onto your street.
Eunbyeol nods eagerly from the back seat after getting picked up, having ranted on and on about the ad in the pamphlet since the moment you saw her.
“It's an amazing establishment mom,” She boasts, making you laugh at her words while parking the car and unbuckling your seatbelt.
“They have everything you could possibly think of!”
“Oh, really?” You say skeptically, opening the door for her.
Eunbyeol is lost in the middle of passionately describing all the relaxing activities you could do by yourself, or rather per se, with a special partner together.
“There’s couples hiking retreats, couples canoeing, couples yoga… did I mention couples hiking retreats?” She confuses, retracing her words.
You roll your eyes and smile, keys jangling as you walk through the entrance of your apartment flat while balancing the bags and items in your hands.
Being a wedding dress designer and yet picking up your daughter from your ex-husband's house could’ve been ironic to some people. But after having split with Hongjoong since the girls were so young, you came to grow fond of having some independence as a divorcee, channeling your main focus into setting up your own bridal shop downtown.
It was through that hard work and focus that you did it all by yourself with no additional help.
You’d be lying if you said you haven't opened a bottle of red wine some nights due to loneliness as a divorced single mother, but at least that was what you had your daughters for.
You made sure to work just as hard as you did enjoy playing and spending time with them. After all, they were the light of your life and purpose for living.
Balancing the pizza you picked up on the way home, you set it down on the kitchen island, telling Eunbyeol to go wash her hands in the sink. The girl doesn’t stop ranting.
“There’s usually only two rooms in the cottage, so you’ll have to sleep together with dad, but I guess you won't mind, would you? After all, you were once married” She rolls her eyes, reaching for the soap.
You shake your head with a sigh. ”What is up with you and getting me and your father together in the same room?” you muttered as you took out the plates and utensils.
Eunbyeol eventually walks back to you, wiping her hands on her baggy jeans before sitting on the kitchen stool.
“It’s not that I’m obsessed, Mom. Actually, Eunseo and I are just dying to get away this summer now that school is over.”
Turning around from plating the pizza and salad, you chastise your daughter, telling her to sit with her bum flat on the stool so she doesn’t fall. She immediately listens, carrying on with her persuasion.
“We just want you and dad to get the chance to relax as well, that’s all!” her mouth full from a bite of hot, greasy pizza.
You smile, wiping your washed hands on the kitchen towel and coming over to wrap your arms around her affectionately.
“Spending time with you and Eunseo every week is how I relax,” you assured her, smothering your baby with kisses on her cheek.
Byeol lets out a squeal of annoyance, taking another bite of her pizza. “You’re squishing me!” She tries hiding her smile, failing when you lean in closer.
You pull back in laughter, ruffling her hair as you walk away while reminding her.
“Oh! Don’t forget you’ve got your hockey game tonight!”
Byeol chews faster, munching on the soft crust and counting down the hours on the kitchen clock.
She smiles to herself.
“Don’t worry, I know!”
“What do you mean you need to go to the hospital?” Hongjoong asks in a worried voice, standing against the women’s washroom stall. He holds Eunseo’s congratulatory flower bouquet for first place in hand, feeling the stares of multiple women passing by, clearly judging him for being in the ladies room with them.
“Honey, is everything all right?” He asks worriedly. A string of groans come from behind the door.
“You need to leave!” one old lady thrusts her walking cane at the father, lips pursed in dissatisfaction.
Eunseo did such a phenomenal job tonight for her piano recital, that Hongjoong was shocked to see his daughter clutch her stomach first thing after running down the steps of the stage, dashing to the washrooms.
He whips his head back. “My daughter’s having a bit of a situation in here, okay miss? Have a bit of understanding!” He barks frustratedly out loud to the onlookers before speaking softly back to the stall door.
“Eunseo, baby, talk to me, is everything alright in there? Are you sure you need to go to the hospital? Is it that bad?”
The girl continues her acting performance, letting out fake groans while typing furiously on her cellphone.
“Oh the pain! I think I might have food poisoning, dad!”
Seolie: How far along are u
Byeolie: Mom’s outside, banging to come in.
Seolie: same, I told dad I needed to go to the hospital.
Eunseo lets out another groan of pain, causing Hongjoong to worry even more.
“That’s it, Eunseo. Let me in and help you” he decides, searching his bag for a painkiller or at least some sort of medication for relief.
The girl frantically checks her phone, eyes lighting up at the new message.
Byeolie: Mom’s getting the car to take me to the hospital. I’ve got her convinced to call dad soon.
Eunseo types as fast as her small fingers can move, even faster than when she performed her piano solo from before.
Seolie: Then what do I do????
Hongjoong gets slightly suspicious at the lack of sound coming from the stall, calling to his daughter again.
“Eunseo? Everything alright?”
At the next notification, the girl makes up her mind, getting the signal from her sister.
Byeolie: play dead. Mom calling soon. See ya there.
The actress gets into character, gaining her composure before unlocking the washroom stall and holding her stomach as she stumbles into her dad’s surprised arms.
“Eunseo!”
She wails, falling limp. “Oh, dad! Please! Take me to the hospital, it hurts too much!”
It’s truly a mystery which parent she got her acting skills from.
But she doesn’t have to tell him twice at that point. The man is already piggy backing his fainted daughter and sprinting out of the ladies washroom, reassuring her with soothing comments as he makes a beeline for the parking lot.
“Stay with me baby!” He huffs, unbeknownst to Eunseo who peeks one eye open.
Only after he straps his daughter in the backseat and is turning on the engine does he receive a sudden phone call from you, pressing the speaker for the whole car to hear your panicked voice. You break the news to him first.
“Eunbyeol’s severely sick. She fainted right after her hockey game.”
Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “What?”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “She was holding her stomach saying she ate something wrong. Is Eunseo okay?”
Hongjoong puts the stick into drive, backing out of the parking lot and replying in a hurry.
“She’s hit with the same thing right now. I’ll meet you at the Hospital in ten” he grunts, sweat forming on his brow as he speeds through traffic, not caring if he gets a ticket.
Had he looked in his rear view mirror, he would have seen Eunseo sagging near the car door, clutching her stomach with a small grin on her face.
You never liked the hospital.
The sounds of babies crying and hospital beds wheeling become the background noise, shifting nervously in your seat that was in the emergency pediatrics unit waiting area.
Hongjoong has his eyebrows furrowed, hunched over one seat beside you as he hangs his head in his hands, knees bouncing up and down. A middle aged nurse nasally calls on the next family waiting from the front desk, boredom laced in her voice.
You sigh, uncrossing your legs and choosing to bite at the fingernail on your right hand once realizing you’ve already done the same to all the ones on your left.
“It’s all my fault.” Hongjoong confesses, suddenly sitting still.
You glance to your left, watching as he sits up slowly.
“Last thing they ate together would’ve been at my house. I probably made them sick with something I fed them,” he dejects, hanging his head down in shame.
“It’s all my fault, god I’m so stupid!” He beats himself up.
You have half the mind to snap at your ex-husband, anger already filling up inside you earlier when you heard Eunbyeol suggest it was something she ate at her dad’s house. You really did want to yell at him for being so bad of a chef that he sent his own daughters to the emergency pediatrics unit, undeniably relieved that Seonghwa was working tonight’s shift.
But those cruel words sitting on the tip of your tongue are thrown away when you glance down to see your ex-husband missing a shoe on one of his feet.
Hongjoong rushed over here so fast with Eunseo that he left his shoe behind like some sort of fairytale, Cinderella. He hasn’t even realized he wasn’t wearing one right now.
You exhaled, knowing that if there's one thing you’ve learned while parenting, it was that to have patience and understanding was a virtue. Even for your ex-husband.
“It’s not your fault,” you sighed, staring at your hands folded in your lap.
It feels awkward when Hongjoong stops tugging at his blond locks to look at you in surprise, continuing to speak as you place a gentle hand on his thigh.
“That could’ve happened to anyone. We don’t know yet if it was because of the food. Let’s just pray and wait and see” your voice being a sign of reliability to him.
The man is a little shocked at your supportive nature to tell you truthfully. He delivers all the things he needs to say through his grateful gaze alone, reciprocating a small smile.
“Didn’t think I’d see you guys tonight.” Seonghwa chuckles, walking in before Hongjoong has the chance to reply. He comes from the patient's room wearing his dashing, white doctor's coat. “Together, at that” he mumbles under his breath before looking up and flashing you a polite smile while giving his worried friend a soft pat on the back.
Hongjoong holds his breath when he asks: “How are they?”
“Better,” he tells him, flipping through some papers on his clipboard. “But it was a big shock to their bodies. They need some rest at the moment.”
The pediatrician tries not to show his smile, standing in front of you and Hongjoong while hiding his expression behind his clipboard as per his niece’s request.
To be fair, if someone had told Seonghwa earlier that evening that he would receive a fifteen minute pep talk from his best friend's twin daughters that day in the emergency unit, he would’ve laughed in their faces.
Alas, life was always filled with surprises. Here’s what went down thirty minutes earlier in the hospital room:
“We’re trying to get them back together,” Eunseo announced confidently, sitting next to her sister on the hospital bed.
Eunbyeol nodded, eyeing the dumbfounded medical professional standing in front of them with his clipboard tucked under his arm, hands in his pockets.
“So.. you guys don’t need an IV drip?”
“It’s this whole entire thing, Uncle Hwa, we’ll explain to you later.”
It took a minute before Seonghwa reclaimed his composure as an adult, chastising the twins for pulling a false alarm over something like this. He made sure to make them promise him they wouldn’t do something stupid like this again. But after that, of course Seonghwa is immediately pairing to help them with their plan on getting his best friend back together with his ex-wife. The man is just tired of watching Hongjoong beat himself up half the time about missing you.
“So you essentially want me to lie about the fact that you guys don’t have food poisoning, and were just faking this whole thing so your mom and dad would have a reason to see each other.”
The twins nod, one of them pointing out. “And make sure to tell them we’re fine of course. Maybe throw in we’re like, really sick, but that we’ll live so it’s best if we get rest.”
“At like a cottage or something” the other chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows at the hint.
The doctor sighs, scratching his neck sheepishly.
When Seonghwa leads you and Hongjoong into the hospital room, both of you feel awful seeing your babies laying in their beds, dressed in the children’s gowns.
Eunbyeol peeks open her eyes first, voice hoarse (she practiced).
“Mom? Dad? Is that you?” she groans, pretending to clutch her stomach in pain.
Both you and Hongjoong rush to each child, grasping their hands and stroking their heads softly with sympathy.
“Hey baby, I’m here” you coo.
“I’m so, so sorry girls, it was probably all my fault. I should’ve never cooked for you guys earlier today.” their dad cries out painfully, looking down in shame.
You come to stand beside him, reassuring them both. “But what’s important is that you guys get better now. We want to make sure you get the rest you need” you say, making eye contact with your ex-husband.
Seonghwa clears his throat, crossing his arms as he flashes a wink to the girls behind your backs.
“They seemed to have been mentally exhausted as well,” He asks on purpose, watching as you and Hongjoong share a look with each other. “Have they been receiving proper familial support at home?”
“I can’t even remember the last time I saw my parents in the same room together.” Eunseo weakly admits, showing a faint smile.
As parents, you and Joong feel the most amount of guilt anyone could ever feel. You realize how exhausting and stressful the pickups and drop offs to each other's houses could’ve been, especially when you two were so busy with your respective jobs to spend time with your daughters now that it was summer break for them.
Hongjoong smiles, holding both their hands and making a promise to them.
“Make sure to rest you two. Tell me, is there anything you guys need right now? Anything you guys want I'll make sure to get it for you.”
”Do you guys have crunchy ice?” Eunbyeol blurts out loud, breaking her weak facade.
Eunseo almost wants to shoot a glare at her sister but she realizes both of you are still looking at them.
“I can get you some ice!” Seonghwa quickly assures you and his nieces, mouthing to them good luck for support as he shuts the door behind him.
You sigh, coming over to stroke Eunseo’s hair and caress Eunbyeol’s hand.
“Well? Is there anything else you guys need from us?” Hongjoong states, eyes soft in sympathy. You nod, waiting to hear their response.
“Let us know girls, anything at all.”
Eunbyeol and Eunseo finally take their chance, sharing a hesitant look before speaking at the same time.
“We want to go to the cottage”
“Together,” Eunseo says.
“As a family.” Eunbyeol adds in.
You and Hongjoong share a silent look.
Later into the night, the twins are finally discharged from the hospital, deciding that they would stay at Hongjoong’s mothers apartment which was closest nearby, considering they were both tired and immediately needed a place to rest.
The car ride home is awkwardly silent, even as the kids are (what you think) to be fast asleep, hockey gear and a bouquet of flowers riding with them in the backseat.
It was at their request for you to drive them to their grandmother's house, wanting both their parents with them till the ride home. Hongjoong settled on driving your car and dropping all of you off, planning to take a taxi back home and pick up his own car in the morning. Despite your protest on how inconvenient that was, he insisted as he didn’t want to disappoint the twins.
But suddenly the man begins to regret his offer, currently driving in complete silence on the highway, eyes facing forward and shoulders tense. Quiet FM nightly jazz plays from the radio.
You’re sitting passenger seat up front with him in what feels like forever, looking solely at the reflections in the window, the street lamp lights scattering across your face as you travel through the nighttime traffic. It’s awkward being together like this.
You hear him clear his voice, speaking softly so he doesn’t wake up the girls.
“So, are we really considering that cottage retreat?” he glances back at you.
You sit up, straightening your back and exhaling as you secretly wanted to have avoided that topic of discussion.
“We can’t Hongjoong,” you reasoned, shaking your head. “I couldn’t possibly take a whole vacation from the dress shop. Not unless I had someone take care of it for me, which my staff probably aren’t ready to do.” you explained, voice tense.
Hongjoong nodded, understanding your point of view. “I realize that. I’ve got a few projects I have to record and demo with Eden.” he tells you, an arm placed on the wheel with his sleeve rolled up. His veins become perfectly outlined as he passionately tells you about his producing job.
He’s so hot like that.
Jesus what were you thinking? Cursing your mind as you clear your voice and try to change the topic.
“How’s everything been going then?” you say stiffly. He nods, still awkward with sharing conversation with you.
“Um, it's going good. You?” he asks.
“Fine.” you swallow.
Silence prevails. He’s first to speak again, building the courage to say the next thing in his mind.
“I’m willing to put things on hold if I need to.” He confesses.
Hongjoong continues to drive normally after having said that. Now it becomes your turn to stare at him now, watching how he glances at the side mirror, switching lanes swiftly like the pro-driver he was.
“What do you mean?”
“Honestly, I think it would be good for the girls,” he admits, calling you by your name. Even hearing him call you your name feels weird. It feels foreign, like it almost wasn’t yours.
“Hongjoong-” you warn, shaking your head at the warry possibility.
“Just hear me out, alright?” He states firmly, making you quiet.
He glances back into the rear view mirror, watching your girls peacefully asleep with their heads leaning against each other.
“It’s been almost seven years. Seven years since they’ve last seen their parents speak to each other without breaking into a fight. Tonight was the first time they saw us together without having to plan a drop off and pick up in god knows how long.”
Hongjoong licks his lips, gripping the wheel as he emphasizes. “Seven years since they’ve gotten a goodnight hug and kiss from us at the same time in one place.”
You scoff, turning to face him properly this time. “I don’t know why you’re acting as though we can make this request of theirs come true Hongjoong. This is a big deal-”
“It is a big deal!” he exclaims, trying to get his point across. “I can see how badly our daughters want us to both be in their lives more, to acknowledge the fact that the other still exists after splitting apart.”
He sighs. “Us, not acknowledging each other’s existence at all is worse than if we had to see each other regularly.”
You bite your lip, getting angry. “So what Hongjoong? You’re saying you want to suddenly play family with them at the cottage?”
You shrug your shoulders. “Do you really think we can pretend to be normal parents to them without fighting like we are now? There’s a reason why our current schedules work. Don’t make me seem like the bad guy for not wanting to take them.” You glared, pointing a finger at him. His jaw locks.
“You fully knew the lifestyle changes we would need to make as a couple when you signed those legal papers—”
“Well then did you also predict everything that happened after you brought me those papers?” He spits like venom, gaze hard as he clenches the wheel.
You blink your eyes at his words, pressing your knees together at his sudden attack.
You don’t remember clearly if you even meant what you said at the time when you threw those papers at him seven years ago. But all you still know is that Hongjoong was just as stubborn as you were, making up his mind to sign them in the end regardless.
Looking in the rear view mirror, you muttered to him quietly.
“Don’t raise your voice. The kids are sleeping.”
Their dad scoffs, muttering a sure, under his breath as he switches lanes.
The kids were in fact, not sleeping, and very much awake. Eyes closed but ears wide, as they were listening in to the first real discussion their parents were having in so long. Or perhaps it was an argument?
At the right turn into his mother’s apartment’s underground parking lot, Hongjoong shuts off the engine, getting out of the car without another word and shutting the door in your face.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, hear the back door open.
You watch in the corner of your vision as his demeanor immediately changes, softly caressing Eunseo and Eunbyeol’s hair.
“Hey girls, we’re here now. You gotta wake up.” He coos.
They yawn theatrically, pretending to stretch their arms.
“So soon?” Eunbyeol mumbles.
A few feet ahead, you see your mother in law walking out from the elevators, a knit cardigan wrapped around her small frame. You smiled, getting out of the car and greeting her first.
“We’ll leave Eunbyeol’s hockey gear with you for the night if that’s alright Mom-”
Hongjoong’s words are cut off as the woman who birthed him walks straight past him, ignoring him and immediately taking you in her warm embrace, eyes forming crescent moons.
“How are you my dear?” she asks, causing you to smile and hug your mother in law affectionately. “It’s been so long, I’ve missed you so much!”
Despite the break up between you and Hongjoong, you were thankful for one thing, and that was the fact that your relationship with Hongjoong’s family stayed strong, especially with Mrs. Kim.
“I’ve missed you too” you tell her genuinely. “I’ve been good, I’m just sorry for dropping them off so suddenly at your place,” You say, feeling apologetic for waking her up late into the night.
“We had a bit of a situation,” you explain, watching as Hongjoong collects their things.
She shakes her head, reassuring you. “Nonsense! Why would you be sorry for that.” she grins, turning her head at the car. “And where are my girls, may I ask?”
At the sound of her voice, Eunbyeol and Eunseo dash out from the back seat and into their grandmother's welcoming arms, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks.
Hongjoong is the only person that stands all alone, awkwardly holding the bouquet of flowers with heavy hockey gear and a duffle bag perched on his shoulder.
“Oh, how I’ve missed my little squirrels!” she exclaims using their signature pet name and happily reuniting with her grandchildren.
She turns her head, face falling at the sight of her son and lips pursing into a frown.
“And where on earth have you been? Not giving me a call!” she snaps, slapping her son on his back. Eunbyeol laughs out loud while Eunseo tries to keep her giggles in.
You hear your ex husband protest to her while you close the back seat door.
“OW! I’ve been busy alright?” he mumbles, massaging his sore arm.
Your mother in law takes both the twins hand’s on each side, nodding her head to you.
“Leave all the kid’s stuff to Hongjoong, he’ll take care of it darling” she smiles sweetly, sending a glare to her son to take a hint and be more of a gentleman to you. She walks away with her smiling granddaughters, exchanging light-hearted giggles and excitement. “Bye, mom!” The twins wave back.
Hongjoong cranes his head up, sighing at the ceiling before taking Eunseo’s piano bag that you were holding in your hand in one swift motion, walking reluctantly behind the three.
“Stay here. I’ll drop them off.” he briskly walks away, leaving you stunned.
Hongjoongs words from before can’t help but replay inside your head as you wait for him to come back down.
Before you guessed it, it was already the ride back home, and the car was painfully silent once again. In reality, you were each thinking deeply to yourselves about the possibility of the cottage retreat. Could you really be a mom and dad together as a couple to your kids?
“Are you giving your plants enough water?” He brings you out of thought, the car slowing down as he turns onto your street.
You look up, giving him a confused look.
Hongjoong nods in direction, following his eyes to look at the measly, dying flower pot perched on the steps of your flat’s entrance as the car stopped to a halt. “You know, it’s really hard for plants to die when they’re outside.” He says in amazement at your shit gardening.
You scowl at him, asking him when he became such a plant expert all of a sudden.
He continues to poke fun at you, smirking when he undoes his seat belt. Hongjoong suddenly leans over to help you unbuckle your own, face dangerously close to yours as he lowers his voice.
“Unless their owner just really sucks at taking care of them.”
His eyes gaze into yours for a split second, feeling your face heat up from the proximity. You let out a tiny gasp for air when he leans back in his own seat.
“Fuck off” you replied harshly.
“You should give them some more care,” he suggests, ignoring your swearing.
You don’t reply to his stupid comment, refusing to look at him as you get out of the car.
“I can go in by myself” you press, adjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder. You didn’t think it was necessary to draw out your time with this man any further.
Hongjoong straightens his dress shirt as he moves to your side of the car, shoving his own car keys in his trousers as he locks your doors and hands over the keys. You take them hesitantly, watching as he rests against the car door, strong arms crossing against his chest.
“Think about it at least.” he mutters to you.
You look at him, eyes shutting softly when you realize he was still talking about the cottage getaway. Sighing his name is exasperation, you run a hand through your hair.
“Hongjoong-”
“Would it kill you to spend a week with me and our daughters?” He scoffs as he asks you straight up, looking at you in a way that makes you hesitate to say your next words. You observed one hand come to shuffle with the silver lighter in his trouser pockets.
You stayed silent for a moment, genuinely thinking back to your daughters and what this meant to them if you went. What this would mean for you two as well.
Finally, you look up to him, returning his gaze.
“I need time.”
He nods, face serious. “I understand.”
“Let me think about it.” You mumbled.
And with that you turn around, walking up the steps to your front door. At the sight of your flowerpot, you quickly remember his comment and snatch it in your hands, slamming the door shut to Hongjoong as he finally lets a soft grin break out on his face. Letting his back come up from leaning against the door, Hongjoong nods his head, satisfied enough at that answer, as he walks silently down the road while opening his Uber app.
At least you’d give it some thought.
Okay, maybe now you’ve given it too much thought.
Sipping your fifth glass of wine of the night, you’re sitting, back hunched over with your knees tucked into your chest on the breakfast table chair, zoning out as your best friend Sophie continues barking at you and your inconsistent commitment.
“I don’t even understand why you’re considering going! Does the man realize what it takes to leave your own shop for a full week?” she fumes, adjusting her royal jelly sheet mask while cursing at your ex-husband for pressuring you into going to the family retreat.
“Not everyone can just pack their bags and go swimming at the cottage, Jesus Christ” she rolls her eyes.
“He didn’t pressure me,” you told her pouting. “He wants to do it for the kids” you mumbled looking down as you defended him.
You invited your best friend Sophie over to your apartment that evening for your weekly slumber party, a time you each looked forward to dedicating a bottle of wine and chardonnay over some gossip, spilling all the uneventful drama in your lives.
Perhaps you revealed too much drama to your best friend tonight.
“I don’t think I would mind going, to be honest” you hiccup, words slurring. “I haven’t had a vacation in so long, Sophie, and the girls really want to go! I would feel bad for leaving them with nothing to do this summer.” confessing through the alcohol.
Cheeks flushed, you sigh as you play with your silk robe mindlessly while Sophie shakes her head at you, one hand coming up to snap at you and bring you back to reality.
“Hello? Earth to Ms. Divorcee?” She sighs, rolling her eyes in frustration. “You said you wanted to set boundaries with him! To cut the line straight and keep your distance so you could get over your feelings for him! Show him who’s boss!”
“He said he’s willing to put his music projects on hold for us,” you muttered quietly, the thought making your heart weak as you smiled at the memory of Hongjoong teasing you about your flower pot. Your chest blossomed with warmth now.
Sophie sighs, shaking her head as she thinks just how differently you were feeling four wine glasses ago.
“Listen, honey, I’m just warning you in advance” she sips the golden liquid in her glass before placing it on the table.
“Take it from a girl who’s had three divorces. I mean look at me! I’m still somewhat young, I’ve got no kids, no responsibilities, filthily rich, and not once have I had to pay for my own divorce settlement fees!”
You nod mindlessly, eyes blinking softly under the bright kitchen lights.
“What you need is a provider, sweetheart,” she crooned, caressing your head.
“A guy who won’t leave you stressed and unimpressed like Hongjoong does.”
You continue mindlessly nodding your head at her words, ears perking up when you hear small footsteps come down the stairs.
“Hi mom, Hi aunt Sophie.” Eunbyeol greets, eyes glued to her iPad that Eunseo trails after from behind, whining how it was now her turn to play Super Mario.
“Hi girls,” Sophie replies like the cool, hot aunt she is, eyes shut as she’s concentrating on giving herself a collarbone massage right now.
“Hey sweetheart,” you mumbled, smiling at your daughters standing near the fridge getting a glass of water.
“Say, did your dad tell you guys anything about the cottage?” You blurt out loud, avoiding the look that Sophie gives you. Eunbyeol looks up from the glowing screen, ears perking in interest. “No, not much, why?”
Eunseo snatches the iPad from her twin, coming over to you. “Did Dad say we’re going?” She asks enthusiastically, eyes widening. Sophie is quick to assure them.
“Now of course not girls, your mother here was just-”
“Oh fuck it, why not?” you say confidentially, shining a bright smile. “Let’s go to the cottage!” You exclaimed in drunk excitement, all three girls staring at you with their jaws hanging at your sudden profanity as well as your final decision.
Oh, how dangerous the effects of a bottle of wine were.
Eunseo and Eunbyeol immediately embrace each other in a passionate hug, squealing in excitement that their plan actually worked. You and Hongjoong were now both convinced. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to go as a family!” They cried in happiness. You giggled at their joy, reciprocating their enthusiasm.
Sophie leans back in her seat defeated, shaking her head with pursed lips as she picks up the whole Chardonnay bottle and sips it.
“Oh whatever. . . This isn’t my problem anyways.”
When Hongjoong drops by the next morning to pick up Eunbyeol and Eunseo from your house for the weekend, he can’t lie but be a little heartbroken at the way his daughters ignore his kiss to them first thing. They instead, immediately shove the cottage advertising pamphlet in his face with victorious grins.
“See! We told you mom would say yes!”
“Say yes to what?” He pouts, avoiding the paper and obsessively trying to peck a kiss to each of his daughter's cheeks. The idea of going to the cottage almost slipped the busy man’s mind after almost a week of no news from you.
“What’s so important that you guys don’t even say hi to me anymore?” he sulks.
Eunseo giggles, fighting back her laughter when her dad tries to tickle her with his kisses.
“We’re going to the cottage!”
Hongjoong stills himself, leaning back to make sure he heard her correctly.
“We’re what?”
Eunbyeol, taking after her mother, has a cheeky expression on her face as she places her hands on her hips and sasses her father.
“Pack your bags and swimming shorts, daddy, we’re going on a family vacation!”
In perfect timing, you manage to stumble out your front door, coffee mug in hand and mid-yawn when you realize Hongjoong is already staring at you in shock.
“What?” you snap, still grumpy from your slight hangover. “You’ve never seen a woman wake up before?” You replied, asking your kids if they packed all their stuff.
The twins watch as their dad stands up from his crouched position.
“You’re going to go to the cottage?”
At Hongjoongs words you freeze, everything coming back to you all at once. The wine, the twins, the promises, it hits you like a moving truck.
“Well…”
“No take backs mom! You said it yourself last night that you were excited to go to the cottage!” One of the twins pointed out.
Hongjoong doesn’t take his eyes off of you.
“I-I did say that, didn’t I?” You chuckled sheepishly, toes curling at the rookie mistake you made in parenting 101: saying yes when you should’ve said no.
Your ex-husband quickly tells the kids to put their things in the trunk, promising he’ll be right with them after talking to you. As Hongjoong dashes up the stairs in his white polo golf shirt, you feel slightly exposed being in only your silk slip dress and robe.
“I didn’t realize you’d be here so early” you mumbled, looking down at your toes.
He ignores you. “So I’m guessing we’re going then?” He smirks, looking at you with an expression of undeniable cockiness and peaked interest.
You shrug nonchalantly. “Let’s surround the focus of this trip towards the kids” you remind him, straightening your back.
Hongjoong nods, agreeing with you wholeheartedly. “Of course, that was my intention from the beginning,” he smiles.
You swallow the lump in your throat, unnoticing his stare drop at your breasts perking up from the cool morning air. You jump in surprise as you hear the honking of the car.
“Come on, love birds! We gotta go back to dad’s to get our swimming stuff!” Eunbyeol cackles, leaning from the backseat into the driver's seat window. Eunseo already begins journaling in her hello kitty note book, an organized list of what she’ll need to bring to the cottage.
Hongjoong looks back at his daughters, before looking back at you with a smile.
“Let’s keep in touch about details, alright?”
You nod silently, gripping your mug. At the sound of your nextdoor neighbor coming out, Hongjoong contemplates for a moment before quickly leaning forward, shielding you from their view with his backside. Clearing his throat, Hongjoong nods his head to the inside of your house, leaning forward to whisper to you.
“Think, um, you should get inside, it’s getting cold,” he mutters, his dimples faintly showing. You glare up at him, “I’m going to say goodbye to my own daughters”. Still clueless to what he was referring to. He grins, shrugging his shoulders before looking at you.
“If you insist. Just thought you wouldn’t want your neighbor to see what I can see, would you?”
You gasp at his words, looking down at your chest to see what he means before wrapping your robe around you. You quickly waved goodbye to your girls before you shut the door in Hongjoong’s smug face.
It’s now become the second time you’ve done that.
Thankfully, the next time you see Hongjoong you’re wearing a much more appropriate outfit. In a white cotton blouse and casual jean shorts, your effortlessly chic vacation outfit was the only highlight today, considering the day you had been internally dreading for so long was finally here.
You tried to take deep breaths while scurrying all over your house and finishing some last minute packing. Reassuring yourself that a family getaway couldn’t kill you.
Right?
Reservations at the cottage were made over the phone last week, booking a house with the perfect lake side view, access to the forest trail and close proximity to the offered activities. It would only be a seven day stay, both in your respective rooms, (you clearly emphasized you and Hongjoong had to have separate ones) while the twins would lodge together. You had no intention of interacting with your husband alone together on this trip, apart from the quote on quote, ‘family bonding times’ you promised your daughters. And yet why were you here sweating nervously like a sinner in church?
“What a hot lady!” Eunbyeol wolf-whistles at your outfit when she walks through your bedroom doors. You jump at the sudden entrance, realizing Hongjoong was already here to pick you up with the girls.
A pair of black designer sunglasses slightly too big for her sat perched on her nose. Eunbyeol smiles before jumping onto your bed of clothes. You already know Hongjoong must’ve spoiled her and her sister with those, buying them a pair each.
“C’mon Byeol, off the bed” you quipped, packing your toothbrush as she reluctantly slugged off the covers.
Your suspicions of Hongjoong buying them designer items are correct when Eunseo walks in, classily perching her matching white ones on her head before chastising her sister's tasteless compliment.
“Elegant. She’s Elegant, Byeol. You don’t just go around wolf-whistling at people.” she rolls her eyes.
“You look very pretty by the way, mom”
You smiled, nevertheless pleased at both their compliments and thanking them before going back to doing a last minute check of your things.
Sun cream, clothes, makeup bag, swimsuit…
At the thought of your swimsuit you immediately blush, thinking back to how Sophie forced you to borrow her yellow bikini that left very little to the imagination. Despite your protests that you wouldn’t be needing it, she insisted.
Hongjoong is last to walk through your front doors, swinging his car keys around his index finger and calling to his three girls from the downstairs foyer of your apartment. The man is clearly excited for the trip, he can’t lie.
“Come on ladies, we’re gonna miss the chance to swim in that lake if we don't leave soon!”
Hongjoong is your typical dad, except for the fact that he does not mess with dad!fashion. The producer is dressed classily from top to bottom in a loose-fitting designer button up with a pair of reformed denim pants, his pearl earrings and gold piercings complementing his outfit perfectly.
Kim Hongjoong didn't play when it came to fashion. Even as a father.
“Coming!” You exclaimed, ushering your kids out of your bedroom and making your way down the stairs with your suitcase. Seeing that it would only be a week at the cottage, you tried to pack light, though you may have to reconsider that thought with the way you struggled to lift the case properly.
“Need some help?”
A strong hand comes to help you, immediately inhaling the scent of Hongjoong’s cologne as he brushes his knuckles near yours. “Here, I’ve got it” he assures, making you step back and admire your undeniably fine husband.
Ex-husband. You meant Ex-husband. Scratch out the fine as well.
You watch from behind as he struts out the foyer, smiling and joking playfully with his twin daughters, carrying your luggage out the door with them.
What was this trip doing to you?
Once you’re on route to the cottage resort and the GPS is set, the car is blissfully quiet, each and every one of you surprisingly at peace. Jittery excitement still lays deep in your daughters' minds as you overhear them talk about what they want to do first once they arrive.
Hongjoong’s 2000s soft rock and ballad playlist is playing quietly throughout the speakers right now, relishing in the music as luscious, green trees flash by you from the passenger window.
While Byeol and Eunseo distract each other on their own, Hongjoong turns to talk to you.
“I’m not going to lie, it’s been forever since I’ve been on a road trip” he smiles.
You copy him, feeling good in the moment. “Same, I don’t remember the last time I went to one.” you confessed, thinking only of all the times you had in the past when you were a child and as a teenager.
Even back to when you were a young college student, wide eyed and so innocent to the chaos of your first college retreat with Hongjoong. That was the summer you two began dating, and boy were you fools in love. You cautiously look to your husband driving, bringing up past memories.
“Do you remember that one college retreat we went on during second year?”
The corners of Hongjoong’s lips are already grinning upwards, smiling as he reciprocates your expression.
“Right, like I could forget that summer” he replies sarcastically, gripping the steering wheel.
It’s an easy memory to digest. A time when you were both so young, filled with nothing but dreams and passionate love for one another. Love so deep, that you remember the nights you’d spend locked up with Hongjoong under the sweaty bed sheets inside your cabin, blissfully making love until the sun would rise and he would finally kiss you to sleep. Perhaps, it was that summer when you realized you were going to marry and be with Kim Hongjoong forever someday.
Though it’s too bad, someday already passed.
“Do you remember when Seonghwa got so drunk he ended up confessing to Jieun in front of all the girl’s sleeping cabins?” Hongjoong snickers, relishing in the embarrassing memory his friend always hates him for bringing up. You laugh out loud, remembering the memory. “Oh my god, yes!” You turned to face him, shaking your head. “In nothing but his underwear, right?”
Hongjoong nodded, smiling with one hand on the steering wheel as he drove.
“Didn’t he end up jumping into the lake afterwards? With you having to go in and save him as well?” You share your laughter with one another, catching up on past memories as your twin daughters listened attentively in the back, reliving them with you together.
That's what makes the hour and half drive from the city into the wilderness feel so short, finally pulling into the graveled parking lot of the vast cottage resort. White suburban cottages lined along one another, a good amount of distance in between each for every family staying.
As Hongjoong parked the car, the view outside was so glorious you had to hold your breath. Glistening clear blue waves in the lake reflect the bright sunshine from above. A light breeze is present today with the way the willow and oak trees swayed gently.
“It’s beautiful” you gasped from as far as you got out of the car, stretching your upper body with eyes closed as you inhaled the fresh air.
Hongjoong stills his movements, shutting the door before replying with his gaze caught at your backside.
“Yeah, it is” he smiles.
Both of you turn around at a loud voice coming from behind. “We’re gonna explore the campsites and souvenir shops first!” Eunbyeol shouts as she runs away with her sister's hand in hers, towards the wooden cabin that's settled further away.
“What about lunch?” you call to them.
“We’re not hungry!”
Hongjoong tells them to be safe, and to stick around nearby. You smirked, helping him unload the trunk as you told him. “They’ll be fine. They’re probably too excited to even think right now” you giggled, bumping shoulders with him.
You feel the tension that was once so strong between you two fade slowly, walking up the wooden steps of your lodge and exchanging conversation with each other.
“Hey, I just want my babies to be safe” he admits, a grin on his face as he holds the cooler in his hands. You chuckle, shaking your head at his protectiveness.
“Here it is!” he exclaims, setting the suitcases in the front foyer as he opens the door. “Lodge number 1117”
The two story cottage is larger than it appears from the outside, having a modern yet rustic interior that you and Hongjoong admired. It had everything you would need, from a well designed kitchen area to a cozy living room space.
“It’s perfect, the kids will love it” you beam, looking at the hanging hammock chair in the corner of the living room and the gray stone fireplace. It fit perfectly for your family.
Hongjoong smiles, sunglasses perched on top of his head as he sets the luggage down near the kitchen. Walking up beside him, you help him unload the cooler and ice boxes first, settling into your new home for the next few days.
“I’m guessing you still drink?” you ask, looking in his direction as you unloaded the case of beer you saw him bring from the trunk.
He gestured to the booze. “C’mon, it wouldn’t be a vacation without it, would it?”
You wholeheartedly agreed, placing a few in the fridge before you shut it closed.
“Hopefully, this time we won’t end up shit faced like we did back in college” you laugh, turning to face him.
“I can already picture that time we got so drunk from that bottle of tequila my friend brought, we snuck out of the campsite and went to the forest and got lost.” you spoke, the memory a little foggy but nonetheless fresh in your mind.
Hongjoong smiles, listening as you speak.
“There wasn’t anything but trees and bushes in that forest!” You exclaimed, shaking your head. “What did we even do there?”
Hongjoong replies nonchalantly, folding the cardboard box in his hands.
“I’m pretty sure we fucked.”
You momentarily freeze at his words, before letting out a soft awkward laugh, causing him to look up.
“No we didn’t, Hongjoong” you immediately deny, not believing his words. But your brows began furrowing at the foggy memory, starting to realize you really couldn’t trust your alcohol tolerance, now as an adult and even back when you were a college student. Did you guys have sex? In a forest out of all places?
Hongjoong leans against the kitchen counter, across from you as he crosses his arms in front of his chest and smirks smugly.
“Nope, I distinctly remember it” he recalls, taking a step closer so he was now in your space.
“I held your hand in mind as we walked up that trail by the cliff. And gosh, were we horny that night, because I remember you complaining about all that dirt you got on your knees from giving me the greatest head i've ever experienced in my entire life-”
Slapping your hands over his mouth to stop him from going on, you blushed as you glared at him.
“Jesus christ,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before confessing.
“I get it, we fucked.”
Suddenly, you and Hongjoong break out into giggles like varsity sweethearts again at the story. Though embarrassed and cringing internally from the way you acted as young adults, it was nice to share them together now. At the proximity in which you’re standing in, you can't help but stare at each other softly. A hand wraps around your waist, making your breath hitch as he pulls you closer.
“What are you doing?” you grin, watching him.
He looms over you, able to tell that something sits right at the tip of his tongue that he hesitantly decides to say. “I’m pretty sure,” he mutters, staring at your face and cautiously grazing the skin under your blouse. You feel your breathing speed up.
“I also held you like this in my arms as you were leaning against that tree” his grip gentle and immediately transporting you back to the scenery that night. His sharp tone contrasts his touch.
“Yknow, the one we fucked against?” he teases to you one more time.
The scent of burning campfire. A cold, midnight breeze. The feeling of the rough cedar tree against your back as Hongjoong thrusted inside you with every delirious snap of his hips, holding you close while he fucked you to oblivion with only the forest animals standing witness to your sinful actions. The film replays like a cheesy R-rated romance movie in your mind.
“Did you, now?” You gulp, looking up at him as you adjust to the foreign feeling of his touch on your hips.
“Yeah. I remember it all” he states, smirking down at you with an intense gaze.
The memory dies down when you catch yourself staring at his lips, arms finding their way around his neck as he dives down to whisper softly to you.
“Do you remember too?” He asks.
How he held you in his arms. How he whispered in your ear while you came around his cock, drool and traces of cum littering the corners of your mouth while Hongjoong didn’t care if you were stretching his flannel from how hard you were tugging at the material.
You nod. “I do,” you muttered, lashes fluttering as you felt as though your heart wouldn’t stop beating. “I remember you kissed me on the lips,” you confessed.
Perhaps you wanted him to do it again right now.
He looks in your eyes, searching for your approval that you desperately give, breath hitting each other's faces as he slowly leaned down to try and connect your lips. His chest is pressed against yours, and you begin to realize you haven’t shared the same breath like that in so long. You were so close to kissing right then and there.
If only you leaned in closer…
“We’re back!”
You push Hongjoong across the kitchen, shoving his hip painfully into the marble counter and ignoring his high-pitched groan of agony as you immediately look away to avoid suspicion, continuing to grab the beer from the icebox in front of you.
“Girls!” you exclaimed, voice wavering.
Of course, Eunbyeol and Eunseo walk in with matching postcards and goodies from the souvenir shop in their hands, their sunglasses perched on their heads as their eyes lit up with excitement. They were still oblivious to the fact that they almost caught their parents about to make out in the kitchen.
“Dad, this place is amazing!” Eunbyeol deadpans, telling her father. “They even have jet skiing on the other side of the lake! We gotta go now!”
Hongjoong clutches his hip, pursing his lips as he hides his expression of pain and surprise.
“Really? That's great sweetie”
Eunseo however, is quick to catch on.
“What were you guys doing?” she looks at you suspiciously. Her words hang in the air for a moment.
“Were you guys about to kis-”
Hongjoong and you frantically scurry to find a plausible excuse, shuffling awkwardly.
“I was helping your dad unload the cooler”
“I was helping your mom get something out of her eye”
Both girls stare at you meekly. Eunbyeol scrunches her nose. “Huh?”
Plastering on a fake smile, you briskly leaped over the luggage nearby, ushering them upstairs before they had the chance to ask anymore questions.
“I think it’s time to unpack your things.” you watched their eyebrows quirk at the way you pushed them out the kitchen.
“We can do it on our own, mom! It’s really no big d-”
You clamp Eunbyeol’s mouth shut with your hand, blushing profusely as you walk away with them.
Hongjoong stands there alone in the kitchen, rubbing his hip and wondering what the hell just almost happened.
The next few days, you and Hongjoong don’t discuss the incident between you two. Rather, the beginning of the trip after that event has become a painful performance trying your best to be eerily polite yet distant to each other in front of your children, as if that would make you forget the fact that you two almost kissed in the kitchen.
“Could you pass the sunscreen, honey?” Hongjoong would say awkwardly, turning his back to flash you a cheery smile on the lake deck as Eunbyeol and Eunseo watched you interact while floating in the cool, summer waters.
You passed the bottle to your ex-husband while maintaining awkward distance. “Of course, darling!”
“Thanks honey!”
“No problem sweetheart!”
This resulted in Eunbyeol and Eunseo looking at their parents in horror, the youngest twin muttering under her breath as they discussed an urgent change of plans.
“We have to get them to stop being weird.”
Apart from that, the ‘family bonding time’ promise to your daughters was maintained, and each day was an adventure for all of you in terms of what you would do together next. An accumulation of forest trekking, water-skiing and outdoors barbeques on the patio of your cottage made everyday feel more and more special for your girls, seeing how they relished in having both their parents with them at the same place and time. It became moments of peace and resolution that eventually became special for you and Hongjoong too.
“I hope we stay here forever,” Eunseo blurted out one evening after a blissful day near the lakeshore, watching as the sun began to go down. She was busy licking the sticky sides of her melting ice cream cone in one hand, the other one held in yours.
Hongjoong and Eunbyeol were a few feet ahead, laughing loudly and holding hands as they compared their fruit popsicles with one another to see whose was bigger.
“You and Byeol would eventually get sick of going to the lake all the time” You smiled, the corners of your mouth turning up before her next words made the strings of your heart tug.
“Sure, but at least you and dad could be together with us too.”
You watched as she ran up to her sister and dad, joining in on their fun as she began boasting that her ice cream was better than theirs. Hongjoong’s smile is the biggest you’ve ever seen it to be, looking down at his girls with a golden tan from the past few days spent outside, and hair slightly damp from swimming.
Any person could tell the love in his eyes was as pure a father’s love for his girls could be.
Her words stuck with you until that very night, where after dinner, board games, and much pacing back and forth in your own room before getting into bed, you decided to cautiously approach Hongjoong’s room on the opposite side of the second floor.
Bare feet padded across the wooden floors as you peeked through the sliver of the open door.
He's wearing an oversized sleep tee and blue pajama pants, getting in some nighttime reading before bed. His glasses are perched on his nose, intently reading his paperback novel. He looks as domestic as a husband gets.
At the sound of your steps though, he sits up from his relaxed state on his bed, one arm that was supporting his head coming out as the other hand settles the book down on his abdomen. He looks surprised to see you.
“Hi” he states, looking at you.
“Hey”
Hongjoong’s expression immediately softened at your figure, watching as you shuffled awkwardly in front of him. The room is quiet.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course,” He nods, setting his bookmark in the spine of the cover and turning his attention to you, offering you to take a seat on his linen covers. You see his polaroid camera with photos taken of Eunbyeol and Eunseo perched on a desk nearby.
You don’t see the ones he secretly took of you, as those are in his drawers.
“Don’t tell me you can’t sleep by yourself” he gently teases before watching as your smile doesn't reach the ends of your eyes. You wrap your silk robe closer to your body, feeling sort of vulnerable.
“How do you like the resort so far?” He asks, watching as you played with your fingers absentmindedly. “Is the room okay?”
“It’s wonderful Hongjoong, better than I could ever have hoped for.” You spoke up, telling the truth.
It’s hard to arrange your thoughts in your head when it’s just the two of you in his room. The kids were already fast asleep. Now was your chance to just tell him how you felt. Why were you hesitating so much?
“Hey, look at me.” Hongjoong’s soft voice calls out to you, a protective hand coming out to caress the back of your head in habit. He can tell you want to say something, and the gesture makes you emotional, remembering how he always used to do that to ease your nerves when you were younger.
“What’s wrong? Am I making things uncomfortable on the trip?” he worries about the boundaries you established with him at the beginning, watching as your lip begins to quiver and the emotions suddenly overcome you.
“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” you sniffled, tears forming near the brim of your eyes as you looked up at the father of your children.
Hongjoong’s eyes widened, shifting through the covers over to you. “Woah, hey, shh that’s alright I got you” he coos, immediately going into dad mode and embracing you in his arms, letting your head rest against his chest.
The action is natural, no longer foreign or weird, and you silently thank him for leaving reassuring circles on your back. Husband or not, Hongjoong would always be your best friend first. You had forgotten how much you missed this comforting side to him.
“Tell me what you’re sorry about” he states, chest tightening at your wet cheeks before he slowly raises your chin to look him in the eyes.
“For being mean to you for so long” you sniffle, a weakened state of emotional guilt eating away at you. You let him watch you carefully.
“I’ve been thinking about how happy the girls have been during this trip. A-And it kills me that we’ve been fighting for the past seven years, and that they’ve grown up seeing such bad parts of ourselves, of my own self” you ramble, confessing how you felt.
You look up. “They’re happy because we’re together Joong. Because we’re not fighting or avoiding each other like we used to do before.”
He watches as you look up at him with tears forming in your eyes.
“You’re such a good dad. And I realized you deserve to hear that.”
At the sounds of more sniffles, Hongjoong finally speaks, smiling as he brushes stray hair from your face.
“I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to be the mother of our children, I hope you know that”
His truthfulness throws you off guard.
“I’m sorry too” he sighs, letting you sit up straight and look him in the eyes properly. “I haven’t been the best partner either, baby. We were both mean to each other.” he says, brushing a tear away from your face.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve thrown a hair dryer at me once before as well” he attempts to make you laugh, affection blooming in his chest when he sees he succeeds, wiping your tears.
“But I already knew how you felt, sweetheart. I always know” he smiles, eyes mirroring a weak ache in his heart.
“Married or not, we were once friends. And now we’re family” His voice turns deep, strong and dependable like the father he’s become.
“We can start over” you tell him, smiling as he folds his hands over your palm. “We can always do better from now and going forward. For ourselves, and for Eunseo and Eunbyeol.”
Hongjoong nods, hesitantly for a split second before he leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek, showing a gesture of affection that you longed for so long.
You shut your eyes, the kiss making your heart flutter.
“Friends again?” He whispers, though silently wanting something more.
You sighed, pulling him in closer to embrace in a hug. “Friends” you nodded while inhaling his comforting scent.
The next morning, and for the rest of the remaining trip onwards, you and Hongjoong’s relationship dynamics did the equivalent of a 180 degree turn.
It’s hard to believe you two really just wanted to be ‘friends’
Eunbyeol and Eunseo could tell by the way you talked to each other more, noticing you share more secret glances and fleeting touches that were innocent to the eye, but concealing a longing that you both tried to hide. You knew you couldn’t get carried away. You and Hongjoong were simply resolving a rough patch in your parenting. Not getting back together in a relationship.
But after spending more time together while Eunbyeol and Eunseo became occupied on their own, it was hard keeping the interactions to a justified amount. Long walks in the forest, evenings spent cooking together, even cuddling together on the couch during family movie night. Thinking your kids were too busy watching the vintage Disney movie play on screen, when in fact, the real love story they were more invested in was happening right in front of their eyes, watching their parents falling in love again.
This led to the last event in their plan that they hoped would finally seal the deal.
On Saturday night, the last night of your trip before you had to go back to the city, you and Hongjoong are surprised to find mini invitations left on your beds, scribbled in glitter pen and cursive handwriting reading out the following:
Gourmet Dinner Date for 2
Time: 7:30 pm
Location: Outdoor patio
Dress code: Formal and Classy
You and your husband chuckled at the cards left on your beds, suddenly finding a twin each by your side and ushering you to get ready.
“Do you and your sister even know how to cook dinner, Eunbyeol?” You questioned as your daughter rushed to push you into your walk-in closet, forcing you to get ready.
She huffs, placing her hands on her hips looking offended.
“At least my cooking skills don’t take after Dad’s, mom.” She mumbled, choosing your shoes for you. “Have some trust in a girl!”
Meanwhile, Hongjoong gets pampered by Eunseo in the other room, though in reality, her blunt critiques on her dads fashion are bruising his pride at the moment.
“Dad, you have many normal clothes to wear. You have to chill with the ripped baggy jeans.” she demands, trudging through his closet to find something formal for him to wear.
He begins to protest but his daughter shakes her head. “You’re supposed to look good for mom!” she huffs, searching on her own. At Eunseo’s words, the man starts to slightly worry, scratching the back of his head.
“You and Byeol are gonna join too, right?”
She stops for a second, looking back to her father as she avoids the question and instead retorts back.
“It’s just a date, Dad. Relax”
Back to what was happening in the other room at the end of the hallway, you huffed in frustration when you walked back into your closet after Byeol rejected another one of your outfits for the dinner date.
“I have nothing else to wear, sweetie, these are all the clothes I have.” you came to terms with a hand coming to your forehead after having searched in despair.
The ten year old shakes her head before pushing you out of the way and digging deep into your suitcase. She reveals a delicate piece of material you didn’t even realize you packed.
“We got some help from Aunt Sophie and Uncle Hwa to pack you guys clothes that you could wear for a special occasion.” she wiggles her eyebrows, a smug grin on her face as you gap in shock.
You inspect the dress, lips parting in disbelief as you feel the material.
“I haven’t worn this since I was in college.” You uttered softly to yourself.
At one longing look of the short dress, you shake your head, walking back into the closet to find something else. “I-I can’t wear this Byeol, what would your dad think?“ you asked nervously.
“Dad said he thinks your boobs looked hot in this dress so Aunt Sophie and I picked it specially” she looks up at you, proud of what she just said.
You whip your head around, mouth hanging open in shock.
“Byeol! Where did you hear that from?”
She sighs. “Dad had one too many drinks this one time and started talking about you guys back in college” she explained before shoving the infamous black dress in your hands.
“Talked a lot about how pretty you were,” she draws out her words in a teasing voice. You curse your husband for his mistake.
You bite your lip as you stare down at the fabric in your hands.
It was undeniable. You knew you looked amazing in this dress. You could testify from the amount of times Hongjoong ripped it off of you after countless night out’s filled with sexual tension and playful flirting. For god's sake, Eunbyeol and Eunseo could’ve almost had another sibling thanks to that dress.
“Fine.” you muttered bashfully, turning away as you walked into the closet to change.
“But I’m just gonna try it on.”
Thirty minutes, one mental breakdown and too many outfit changes to count later, you walk down the stairs wearing the dress Eunbyeol had successfully persuaded you to wear.
What do you know, the kid was right. Your boobs looked amazing in that dress.
Not just your boobs, your whole body looked incredible with its strong curves and the beautiful fill it gave to the dress, making it slightly tighter than when you wore it as a twenty year old, but still all the more mature and sophisticated. You really did look hot.
Eunbyeol rushes down the stairs before you, catching up with her sister to inspect her job on their fathers preparation.
“Well?” She says expectedly, looking at her dad. “Let’s take a look!”
He sports a simple yet timeless white collar dress shirt, the first few buttons undone as he wears a form fitting black dress-vest that accentuates his waist, dress pants paired to go along with it. Though simple, his silver rings pulled the outfit together, making him just as good looking and sophisticated as you were.
Hongjoong’s back faces towards your front, watching as the man nervously shuffles his hands in his pockets.
“How do I look guys?” He gulps, adjusting his collar and sweeping his blond hair back.
Eunseo rolls her eyes, a grin on her proud little face. “Do you even have to ask, dad?” She’s more than confident in the outfit she and Seonghwa coordinated together.
He chuckles, shaking his head as he nervously tells them.
“I want to look good for your mom, you know what I mean? She's a difficult woman to impress sometimes.”
“I’m difficult?” You tease, walking down the last few steps of the stairs.
The man turns his head around, losing his breath at the sight of you standing there in front of him, wearing that dress that he hadn’t seen you wear for so long, looking breathtaking in every possible way.
“Hi” you grinned softly, feeling sort of shy.
The way you fit in that dress made an insatiable hunger fuel inside Hongjoongs chest, eyes gazing at the way you strutted over in the black, lace covered material with your hair tied back and glossed lips turned upwards as your dimples showed. He breaks from his admiration when you quirk a brow at him, making the man almost fall to his knees and stutter uncontrollably.
“I-I No I didn’t mean that-“
You giggle as you bravely take Hongjoongs hands in your own, shutting him up as you turn to your daughters standing in front of you, starstruck at your aura.
“Outside, right?” you winked at them.
“Right this way!” Eunseo enthusiastically leads you out back to the outdoor patio, a perfect view of the garden and lakeside coming into effect. Hongjoong slips his hand from yours, and slides it across your waist, pulling you into his side.
“My parents are too cool” Eunbyeol sighs under her breath, watching from behind in awe.
Your ex-husband makes you swoon when he leans in to whisper softly. “You look breathtaking, sweetheart.” feeling an immense sense of pride at how lucky he was to make you the mother of his children.
You blush, turning to him to whisper playfully back.
“Not bad yourself.”
You both look forward when you come to a stop at the patio steps, sheer amazement at the full preparation your daughters did for this event. Fairy lights were hung around the area, a table with two chairs on either side placed with a white table cloth and a bouquet of freshly hand picked flowers from the forest, battery powered candles that were sold at the souvenir shop lit in the middle and glowing softly.
Eunbyeol dashes to the door when it rings, making you and Hongjoong furrow your brows.
“Is someone here?” he asks, watching Eunseo fold a napkin over her arm like the pro waiter she was. The other one walks out, an oily fast food paper bag in her hands as she smiles. “Dinner is served!”
“Turns out that diner 15 minutes away also delivers!” She chuckled, helping her sister plate the two cheeseburgers, fries, and vanilla and strawberry milkshakes.
You and Hongjoong continue to watch in stunned amazement as the girls prepare the not exactly gourmet(?) but still impressive meal in front of you, their small hands working swiftly.
“You guys prepared all of this?” You asked, getting a little emotional. They grin proudly, nodding their heads. “We called the place earlier and planned it all by ourselves!”
You pressed a kiss to each of their soft cheeks, thanking them both as Hongjoong did the same.
“What did I do to get so lucky with my girls?” he smiles, ruffling their heads.
“What about you guys?” You asked, watching as they slowly backed away to give you two some privacy.
“Natalie and her mom invited us over for dinner and a sleepover tonight at her cottage,” Eunbyeol smiles. At the mention of their newly made friend that they had gotten close to over the week, Hongjoong looks at you then back at them.
“What? But- ”
She cuts him off, rolling her eyes. “Her mom said it’s totally fine with her. She’s only two cottages down, and she’ll make sure we’re back in time again for tomorrow when we leave!”
The two girls smile in excitement, though the both of you have your parental instincts kick in.
“Please?” they begged, wanting you to let them go so that they could do this for you guys as much as they wanted to do it for themselves. “She’s waiting for us now!”
Hongjoong feels guilty. “C’mon, you guys should still join us!”
Eunseo immediately shakes her head, declining the offer.
“Tonight is all about you guys. We don’t want to intrude” she chuckles, bumping shoulders with her sister who chips in.
“We’ll text you guys in the middle to let you know everything’s good of course”
You and Hongjoong smile, a feeling of immense proudness overwhelming you from seeing your daughters act so grown up. There wasn’t anything else you felt grateful for more.
“Thank you girls.” you muttered softly, watching as they flashed you a wink before hurrying out through the backyard door.
“Don’t get all kissy in the backyard!” Eunbyeol teases, making cheesy smooching sounds with the back of her hand as her sister rolls her eyes and shoves her out.
Before you know it, you’re left standing with just the sound of smooth jazz playing on the patio speakers and the buzzing of the summer cicadas.
“She takes after you, I hope you know that” You told Hongjoong softly.
He chuckles, “Not as much as you.” He gestures to the table. “Shall we?”
And that’s how the next few hours seem to pass by without even realizing.
You see, there was a reason why you fell in love with the man sitting in front of you, and you’re just beginning to remember it now. Being with Hongjoong felt as if the moment was everlasting, and you could testify that from the amount of laughter and deep conversation that was shared over dinner, bringing you to sit on that patio until the sun had set. Every so often you’d smile again at the thought of the twins preparing this all for you.
“I don’t remember the last time I’ve been on a date like this” You blurted out after laughing about something, taking a sip of your strawberry milkshake through a straw.
“Oh, so we’re going on dates now, are we?” Hongjoong grins, making you roll your eyes at him.
You lean forward on the table cloth, watching as a glimmer passes through your husband’s eyes while he sits back in his chair, cocking his head to the side as he clears his voice.
“But you’ve gone on dates after we split, haven’t you?” he asks, leaning forward in interest now, letting his chin rest on his palm.
You shook your head slowly.
“Nope. Not since signing those papers” you revealed.
Hongjoong furrows his brows in surprise. “And why’s that?”
You suddenly didn’t have an answer. “I-I don’t know, I just…” You began, watching how he looked at you with an unreadable expression. You smiled, looking down and suddenly feeling embarrassed.
“I guess I was too focused on running the bridal shop, I couldn’t find the time to.” You use as a cliche excuse.
“Bullshit” he retorts back immediately.
“It’s true!” You protested, throwing a fry at him that he dodges, landing on his finished plate.
“You always did say back when we were younger that you wanted to be a designer. And look at you now” he admires, letting the candle lights shine a youthful glow to your face.
“You always said you wanted to become a music producer and write your own songs.” you reciprocated, smiling as you soaked in the presence of one another. “And here you are now.”
You think for a moment before asking the same question.
“How about you?”
Hongjoong silently shakes his head as his answer, though silently thinking about something else. The music changes to some old Billy Joel song in the back. You don’t realize it, but Hongjoong smiles to himself when he realizes the girls added it to the playlist. Of course they had to, it was one of the songs you played at your wedding.
“What were we thinking when we got married like that?” You asked out loud, looking at how far you’d both come. You definitely skipped some of the order of the stages of a normal relationship.
“I mean, we had no money, no prospects. Hell, we didn’t even have a car, Hongjoong!” you realized.
Your husband laughs, sitting straight and letting some skin show through his unbuttoned collar.
“We were young” he justifies.
“Yeah, and stupid too,” you pointed out, feeling the summer breeze pass by. It felt good to sit here like this with him.
You wondered, could sitting here like this with Hongjoong be a regular thing? After this trip, would you be able to walk back into each other’s lives again like this?
As both parents and lovers?
Hongjoong brings up something you wouldn’t have expected him to.
“Do you remember when we first found out about Eunseo and Eunbyeol?” he questioned softly, looking at you.
You blink, taken aback. Suddenly you’re back in your college dorm washroom, sobs wracking through your body as Hongjoong who had only just sent his first few mixtapes to recording stations and companies nearby, pulled you close into his chest, eyeing the two lines left on the counter while he caressed your back. Only twenty years old and figuring out what you wanted to do with your lives, you were suddenly stuck in a sudden situation that had made you feel like your dreams would have been given up on completely.
“I do,” you told him, pulling yourself from the memory.
“I remember because in that moment I felt like the whole world was caving in”. You laughed, though it wasn’t fully cheerful.
“I don’t regret it, though” Hongjoong replies after some thought, gazing at you with truth in his eyes.
You shook your head. “Of course. Neither do I.”
It was a blessing to have two beautiful daughters as the product of your love.
“I don’t regret you either.” Hongjoong states.
You lock gazes, unable to take your eyes off of his face.
“I loved you when I first met you and I still loved you when we divorced,” he says all at once, making your breath hitch and heart waver.
“Don’t say that.” you tell him, looking away and suddenly reminding yourself you’re still divorced from the man sitting in front of you.
How could he still love you after all this time? How could you feel the same about him?
Hongjoong continues, shaking his head as he bites back the lodge in his throat and makes up his mind. He has to tell you.
“Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”
Don’t do this to me you begged silently.
“I’ve hurt you just as much as you’ve hurt me.” He swallows, thinking back to the times you already knew he was referring to. The times where you fought to the point where there wasn’t even anything worth fighting for anymore.
“But you have given me the greatest gifts of my life.” He smiles, holding his tears back.
“And for that I will always love you.”
You push your seat from the table, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and wanting to avoid him.
“I can’t do this anymore.” you dejected, walking away from the patio and from Hongjoong.
There wasn’t anything else you could fake anymore. You couldn’t bear to hear the man you once loved, possibly even still love, say these things like he had a dagger lodged in his heart. Didn’t he know he was only going to do the same to you?
Hongjoong is quick to catch up, holding onto your wrist and turning you around, that your back collides with the nearest wall inside, pressing your fronts together and closing the distance.
“Why do you always run away from me? From the possibility of us?” He exclaimed, voice breaking. His heart crushed at the way you turned your head, hot tears already clouding your vision.
“Because ‘us’ can’t happen again, Hongjoong!” You cried, staring up at the man you once promised your life to.
“Don’t you get it? Us going on this trip isn’t a sign to get back together. What would we do seven years after breaking up?”
“We could do it” He states firmly, staring you down, both your chests heaving.
You bite your tears back again. “No we couldn’t, honey. We would be pretending to think we solved our marriage. What would we do about our daughters? After putting them through our constant fighting— ”
He slams his lips to your own, shutting you up as you painfully resist his touch. Your hands came up to push him away, but at the sudden gesture, you’re already giving in and sobbing softly, letting him hold you for just one last time.
Your lips mold so perfectly, it almost hurts how much you missed this feeling. To have him slot his arms around your waist, pull you in close, and cherish you. You almost forgot this feeling.
He pulls away softly, watching your lashes flutter, pleading to you for a chance as he leans closer, making your breath hitch.
“We could be together as a family again,” he states firmly, your name leaving his lips in a desperate plea. “We never know if we try—”
You drown out his words, looking up with tears falling as you cut him off.
“Seven years ago I gave you those papers to sign, thinking that you would’ve chased after me,”
Hongjoong holds his breath, watching as the next words stumble from your mouth.
“I realize now, how stupid I was to think that.”
“I didn’t know you wanted me to chase you”
Shoving his chest away while mustering the last of your strength you uttered. “Of course I wanted you to chase me.” You let go of his hands. “It’s too late either way”, walking away from the defeated man.
Hongjoong stands alone near the patio entrance, watching his tears fall to the wooden floorboards. Holding the ring he had kept hidden in his trouser pocket, he plays with it in his fingers, silently wishing he had given it to you sooner.
It rains the next morning on your departure back to the city. Perfect, considering it reflects the sudden storm of utter depression that falls upon your family. Long gone are the cheerful giggles and longing stares that were shared between you and Hongjoong during the ride to the cottage.
There was no room for that, not after last night.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo sat slumped in the backseat, rain hitting the roof of the car as they mindlessly played on their cell phones. Really, they were peeking from behind every so often and watching their parents sit in the front seat with tension so thick, you could’ve cut it with a knife.
What had they done wrong? They planned the trip, the activities, the dinner— it was all perfect. And yet why were you still fighting with each other?
These questions racked in their brains, baffled to have witnessed the sight of their parents refusing to talk to each other after walking back from their friends' sleepover.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo felt as useful as matchmakers without a couple, feeling their efforts all gone down the drain.
At the sudden ring of your cell phone, you pick up, answering at the voice of your assistant.
“I’m driving back up right now”
Hongjoong continues focusing on the road, the occasional wiping of rain from the windshield wipers on the front window.
“Yes. That’s okay, I'll take care of it.” You muttered, glancing at the rear view mirror for a moment. Your twin daughters immediately sigh, having an idea of what to expect when you say those familiar words.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
You hang up the phone,
“One of us isn’t going with you, are we?” Eunseo asks, making you look back at her with a sigh.
“No, you’re not” You confess, apologetic. ‘I’m sorry honey. I really am.”
You look back facing the front, swallowing as you told Hongjoong.
“You’ll have to drop me off at the studio. Some things aren’t working out with the client so they need me to come in and take care of it.”
He nods, unphased as he continues to look straight.
“Will you be fine with the girls?” You asked carefully, watching them as they were slumped in the backseat.
Hongjoong grips the wheel before turning to you.
“I‘ll be fine. Don’t worry about it” sending a small smile, though it doesn’t fully reach his eyes.
The twins thank god that at least neither of them had to choose to go back home with either parent.
They would’ve hated that more.
After barely being able to depart and say goodbye to your daughters in front of your studio, holding them close for a warm embrace and thanking them for an unforgettable weekend, Hongjoong drives off with his daughters, an empty feeling cascading his thoughts. He puts on a smile still, trying to cheer up his girls.
“What do you want to do first when we go home? Want to unpack and then eat? We can eat and then unpack. Or we could- ”
Eunseo crosses her arms, having been fed up for far too long.
“Dad, you must be out of your mind.”
Hongjoong stills, furrowing his brows and peeking at the first born who crosses her arms, holding an attitude.
“Eunseo, what are you- ”
“You’re telling me you and Mom just spent a whole entire week together at the cottage, had the best time of your lives since separating with one another, and now you’re just going to go back to not speaking or talking to each other again?”
Hongjoong blinks at his daughter’s sudden outburst, already making a turn into the driveway of his house.
Eunbyeol now reciprocates her twin, looking at her dad as she slouches beside him, coming near the front seat area.
“She’s got a point dad. Do you really just not love mom anymore?” She worries, looking up at him genuinely concerned.
Hongjoong doesn’t know how to answer these sudden questions right now, stuttering to reply.
“Me and your mother are fine!” He lies, trying to reassure them. “That trip wasn’t just for us, it was also for you two to enjoy— ”
Eunseo asks the million dollar question.
“If you still love Mom, why are you letting her go a second time?”
With the engine turned off, it's gone silent. Two pairs of eyes staring at their father, awaiting his response.
“Well? Are you going to chase after her or not?!” Eunbyeol groans, her fathers lack of response making her pull her hair.
They were right. How could he have made the same stupid mistake twice?
Hongjoong struggles to put the keys back in the engine, telling them to put their seat belts back on. Their eyes begin to glow with hope.
“Do you girls mind staying at your uncle’s for a bit?” He asks hurriedly, punching into his cell phone to call his brother for a favor as he pulls out of the driveway. Eunbyeol squeals, hands clamping over her mouth as her sister speaks on behalf of them both.
“Dad, if you don’t drop us off and get your butt over to mom’s right away, I’m gonna report you to child services.” she threatens, watching as he steps on the accelerator, heart pumping so fast as he smiles through the rear view mirror.
You sighed, holding up your cellphone to your ear.
“Call me once she approves the design then,” you told your assistant through the receiver, one hand looking over the sheets of paper, highlighting the changes to the new blueprint.
“Alright then, bye.”
After hanging up the phone, you rubbed your temples, head pounding as you tucked the files back into the folder.
The clock in your studio showed the hands about to reach seven pm. A few hours had already passed since coming back from your trip to the cottage, trying to forget everything by burying your focus into the new dress prints a client of yours requested, remodeling them after the original was rejected.
Fingers worked away swiftly, comparing textiles and fabrics as you looked at the piles of papers and messy sticky notes in front of you. But yet the gears in your mind seemed to churn achingly slow, sighing as you repeatedly told yourself the same thing.
Just focus on the dress, focus on the dress, focus on the dress.
Don’t think about him.
The task is impossible. Your mind can’t help but slip back to what your relationship has become with Hongjoong, and what you were going to do now that those seven days were over. For so long you had deprived yourself from indulging in your love life, prioritizing taking care of Eunseo and Eunbyeol while juggling your job as a designer. Had you been doing it all wrong?
Hongjoong’s words repeat in your head like a broken record player.
I will always love you
Lies. That promise couldn’t be kept. Your divorce was a clear outcome of it. You and Hongjoong were two people not meant for one another. You were too different, all you would do is hurt one another, make life an unbearable living hell—
And yet you missed him. You missed Hongjoong so much.
What was fucking keeping you from loving him? Was it your stubbornness? Was it really the fact that he didn’t chase after you? Or was it none of that and just your own self being stupid?
The front door of the studio opens, pulling you from your thoughts as you got back to the sketches. You called up from your desk as you worked quietly.
“The studios closed for the- ”
Heavy breathing. The man who just walked in catches his breath from dashing out of his car and up the three flights of stairs, driving through almost an hour of traffic in pouring rain to be here in this moment with you.
“Hongjoong?”
He’s drenched, making a mess on the floor of the studio as the droplets fall softly one by one.
Suddenly he's striding over to where you’re sitting in long steps before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss throws you off guard, the shock of his cold hands cradling your face makes you close the gap unknowingly.
Linking your arms around his neck while kissing back passionately, you let your hands rest on his shoulders, pulling back for air as you panted heavily, catching your breaths and looking at each other with pure love and lust.
“Why are you here?” you asked, feeling dumb because your heart already knew the answer. His hands wrap around your waist, desperate as if you would leave him again.
But he’s just so fucking tired of that now. He just wants to love you now.
“I lost you once.” He breathes, eyes watering.
“I’m not going to lose you again��.
Suddenly, everything that kept you from being with each other is thrown away.
That hate, that fear, everything is gone because you realize you still needed each other. You’re still the same twenty year old couple standing in that dorm washroom, holding each other close and knowing it’ll be okay because at least you had each other.
You grasp onto his damp shirt, pulling him down with such force that your lips meet again, taking charge as you finally allowed him to have you.
“You’re a fucking idiot” you whined between kisses, curses escaping your lips when he softly bites the flesh of your neck to test the waters. “I hope you know that”
He agrees wholeheartedly, nodding as if he was already getting pussydrunk.
“I’m an idiot” he mumbles to himself, letting it escape his lips like a mantra. Well, he was stupid enough to only chase after you this late, so if his wife told him he was an idiot, then so he was.
“Let me prove how much I love you,” a hand comes to graze near the collar of your shirt.
You gasped, watching as Hongjoong lifted you from your seat and rutted his hips against your core pathetically, your ass digging into the edge of the table.
“Here?” Your eyes widened, watching his expression turn dark. He presses kisses on your collarbone, making your hands grasp the wood for support. “Hongjoong wait,” you exhaled in a deep breath, heart beating against your chest.
But he doesn’t give a shit. He’s tired of waiting.
“It’s been too fucking long” he protests, ripping your top off. You’re dizzy from how abruptly he’s stripping you, latching onto his shoulders for support as you wobble from him unzipping your jeans and pushing them down, exposing you in nothing but your underwear and bra.
And like the good little whore you are, you immediately spread your legs, letting Hongjoong get a view of the embarrassingly wet patch leaking through your panties as he’s crouched down to let you step out of the denim near your ankles.
Holy fucking shit
You stand bashfully, toes curling from how exposed and vulnerable you were being the only one naked.
“Please?” you asked nicely, letting your foot rest on his shoulder as your pussy was now on full display for him.
You don’t have time to even finish the last word before Hongjoong dives in, lapping at your soaking cunt and humming in pure ecstasy at the taste. The muffled vibrations make you throw your head back, tugging on his locks to shove his face further.
Hongjoong’s hands press into your thighs that cage his head in, leaving a grip that you guarantee with littering the flesh with red splotchy bruises. Did you mind? Not at all.
When his tongue pokes at the gummy flesh of your walls, you let out a full moan, echoing throughout the studio as the air begins to smell like sex.
“Right there, yes” you urged him, leg beginning to shake from how weak it was getting.
He's so invested, you fear he might suffocate any longer if he doesn’t pull back for air. So you grasp his head, pushing him away from his meal while you both gasped lightly.
You watch him wipe his slick covered chin with the back of his hand, not breaking eye contact as he stares.
“You were just begging to be fucked for all these years, weren’t you sweetheart?” He teases.
Though you wanted him to lap at your juices until you came, you knew you needed to still feel his cock inside after so long.
Your fingers played with the hem of your underwear, smiling back at your husband.
“And you were just begging to get a taste of this pussy, weren’t you, Joong?” wiping that smug grin off his face.
”Lay down for me” he demands, getting up so that one hand finds its way to the back of your bra to unclasp it. The other clears half your desk covered in wedding dress blueprints and sketches, making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name.
And people said romance was dead.
When the bra slides off and your bare back hits your desk, you suddenly realize what Hongjoong’s intention was when he ordered you to do that.
Soft mounds spill out as your breasts take their natural form, giving Hongjoong the perfect view of your tits. Pervert.
He immediately latches his tongue on a nipple, taking his hand and playing with the other, twisting painfully.
A cry escapes your lips, parting them open as you let him play with them as much as he wanted to. He smiles against the motherfuckers, knowing that shut you up perfectly.
“Are you ready for me to fuck you now?”
“Please, Joong, I need you” you whined, submitting yourself to your husband. He already knows you’re in need of one last kiss, coming up to give his wife what she wants by slotting his lips against yours again, this time much harsher.
“Tell me so that I treat you good, baby” he mumbles, pulling back and making you clench your thighs together. He undoes his shirt in the meantime, unbuckling his belt and pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek when you sobbed.
“Fuck me, please”
His fingers slide your panties to the side to press his aching tip to your wet core.
“Like this?” He teases.
“Inside, Hongjoong” you emphasized, meaning what you said with the way your nails dug into a pile of papers nearby. Biting your lip from how sensitive and needy your cunt was.
“I know, I know,” he murmured, smiling to himself after messing with you.
“I just missed this pretty cunt” before in one strong thrust, Hongjoong’s bulging tip enters inside your walls, giving you a stretch you forgot how much you loved. You whined softly.
“Shit” he curses, relishing how the buildup finally led to this moment.
The man is ravenous, but he’s genuinely trying his best to ease the painful stretch as you adjust to his thickness, nipping your neck in a trail of hickeys and love bites posessively.
With every thrust he makes, you arch your back, pencils and papers shuffling near by you.
“Fucking look at my wife” he admires proudly, watching the woman he loves bounce her tits at every thrust of his cock.
“S’too much” you caved in, shaking your head at the stimulation.
You claw at his arms, head turning to the side as your eyes roll back from pleasure.
“I know, mama, I know”
He grabs a tit in his left hand, the right one coming down to play with your clit, pressing slow circles near where you were connected.
“Fuck, I missed these” He rasps, savouring the feeling of your soft flesh in his hand, making you throw your head back.
“Missed how they looked when you were pregnant” he says, thinking of how ethereal you looked when you were knocked up with his kids.
“God, at this point I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant again” Hongjoong grunts, snapping his hips deliriously back and forth. He envisions you round and full, fulfilling his inner fantasy.
“Shut up.” You spat, breaking the mood as you bit your lip to suppress a moan. He almost laughs when you then crane your hips back to give him easier access to keep penetrating you. The desk shuffles.
“Your mouth is saying one thing, honey, but your body is saying something else”
After hearing his words, you suck him in further, both of you now getting close.
“M’close. M’so close!” you whimpered, sitting up so that now Hongjoong could hold you in his arms, caging your body so his cock could stuff you better.
Your mouth hangs open in silent bliss, hands scratching his back. You leaned into his ear, making the final chord inside him snap.
“Make me cum, daddy”
And just like that, you’re clenching around Hongjoong’s massive cock as a creamy white ring begins to form. Hot ropes fill you up inside, tangled in a sweaty mess as he purrs, caressing the back of your head again in habit.
“So fucking good, sweetheart. You did so good for me”
The sounds of your breathing fill the studio, a pencil or two rolling quietly away on the ground from being shoved off the desk. He shakes his head when you try to pull your sweaty bodies away, hair sticking to your neck but feeling the way he refuses.
“Just let me love you,” he mumbles into your shoulder, dick softening inside you. “Just for a moment.”
You’re too tired to say anything back, so you finally give in.
Seven years passed by you two without even realizing how much you still loved each other. Though you wouldn’t be able to get that time back, for once, there was something that you and Hongjoong agreed upon.
You had no intention of wasting that time any more.
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄:
Months later, and it still takes everything in Eunbyeol and Eunseo hearts to not scream at the sight of their parents when they walk hand in hand, smiling happily in public as they pick their daughters up from the first day of school.
The girls jump into their parent’s embrace, eying the two silver rings they now wore proudly together.
“How was school, darlings?” Hongjoong asks, pressing a kiss to Eunseo and Eunbyeol.
“It was fun! We watched a documentary about lovebirds” she smiled, looking back up. You laughed softly.
“Which reminded me to tell you,” she grins, watching as you, her sister, and father all looked at her.
“I hope you know that getting you and dad back together was my plan from the start.” she confesses, smirking at Eunbyeol who scoffs, crossing her arms.
“Nuh uh, this was my idea first!”
Before her sister could yell at her twin, you jumped in.
“Plan? What plan?” You asked quizzically, both you and Hongjoong standing there confused.
“To get you guys to fall back in love again, of course!” Eunseo smiles, both her and her sister now giggling softly together.
“How am I just finding out that there was a plan?” Hongjoong mutters, scratching his neck in confusion. You turned to the two girls, stopping in your tracks on your way to the car
“When did you two even think of all this?” grinning in astonishment as you felt Hongjoong slot his hand and intertwine it with yours. It felt natural now.
“Yeah, I'm curious too” he states, leaning close and becoming intrigued.
Your daughters look at each other before smiling.
“It’s a long story.”
But at last, time is something you finally now have as a reunited family of four, walking back to your car, holding hands with a twin on each side.
Listening carefully, as your daughters start from the very beginning.
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#wet kissy on ur forehead for writing the best pussy drunk stupid dad!hj#as a certified pyeongie and a fast reader i took a lot of time to consume 18k fic...u HAD ME DOING JUMPING JACKS EXCUSME?#reactions so haywired i ahd to use these bigass gifs and pictures to convey my feelings.#FIRST AND FOREMOST#THESE TWO KIDS ARE ACTING IN PAIN AND HOW TF DID THEY BOTH NOT NOTICE!!!!#like i would be drooling all over the backsear and that one turn would wake me up making me act and my PARENTS WILLL NOTICE😭#but the twinsies are so cute my god they are the icons of this fics i lobe them#wish i could record myself because the dialogues are what made this fic so interactive for me. each one of them had elicited a response out#im a theatre kid and the dialogues oh wow#let me in i need some script advice.#and it has ruinef me for other fics once again.#WHEN OC PICKED UP THE POT BC OF HIS COMMENT AND SLAMMED THE DOOR AND HE GRINNED. IM ON THE FLOOR. TAKE ME. RN.#HOW OBVIOUS BOTH OF THEM WERE#kinda made me realise i can never be eunseo and eunbyeol of my parents bc they would actually throw the pots at eo N E WAYS#“im pretty sure we fucked” im pretty sure u both are still in love cmon shut up now.#WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE POINT WHY DID THE ACTUALLY DIVORCE???? WHAT WAS THE REASON??? FIGHTS??? MARRIAGE HAPPENED TOO SOON???? OING????#i feel the need to put it out in the world that them using “we were mean to eo” “friends?” is eldest sibling in their safe space coded.#idk thats a stupid logic but it was my uncensored thought to that moment#both of them are so sexy for the gourmet dinner scene i almost pissed#THE WAY I JUMPED WHEN THE TWINS SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY LIKE#U DIDNT JUST I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND OC TELLING U TO CHASE AND U GO WELP *cries internally im sorry BLAH BLAH BLHA#BITCH RUN FOR UR LIFE THATS THE MOTHER OF UR CHILDREN!!!!#i genuinely tweaked everytime they used mother of my children father of my children...all the possesive terms oh lord.#so vcutparis lore coded. we love the above tag.#“making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name. ”#DAMN FUCKING RIGHT AN DTHEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD. THE WAY I BANGED MY 2000 PAGES OF NOTES ?#i love this fic sm#and another favourite scene is when grandma hong calls twins HER LITTELE SQUIRRELS ACK ACK ACK ACKCKCCCCCCCCCCKK just set me on fire.#AND WHEN EUNSEO BLURTS OUT SHE WANNA STAY AT THE RESORT FOREVER? and then the scene changes to tanned hongjoong laughing smiling.#i curled over and cried
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behind the camera. (light yagami)
↷ A/N ─ my first tumblr post ever <3 i hope i didnt go overboard with this (?) also IM SORRY for the abrupt ending i swear
★ COUNT ─ 0.6k
!! TAGS ─ f!reader, stalking, yandere!light, masturbation, fantasization
★ PROLOGUE ─ your over-obsessed overprotective boyfriend set up cameras around your house to watch his pretty little girl
SMUT, 18+, MDNI
You sighed as you felt the warm water droplets pour down on your skin. It was this that calmed you after a stressful day at work - massaging your body lightly with a loofah and washing the soap away gently. Slowly, you turned the temperature down, soaking you with cold water, and soothing your skin after the hot shower.
Getting out of the shower, you wiped your hair softly with a small towel. Tonight was one of the few when you were going to treat yourself with haircare and skincare, something you usually didn't get too much time for.
As you sat down on the bed in front of a mirror, your body completely naked, you turned on some music and started applying body lotion over yourself, smiling all the while. Little did you know, your boyfriend grinned, pausing his work to check your bare body out.
Light's pen hovered over a name in the Death Note as he watched you, not blinking even once in case he missed the beautiful sight on his computer screen.
He watched your hands glide from your chest, circling each of your breasts, to your waist. God knew how much he wished to touch you in the places you were touching yourself right now. Light saw you squeeze the lotion tube, applying some on your legs and thighs, and then his eyes fell on your pretty little pussy.
Your legs were spread apart as if inviting his dick to slide inside. His pen still held by his right hand, his left hand slipped to his growing bulge, his breath fastening and hitching.
His father was still working. His mother had gone out somewhere and his sister was at her friend's house at a sleepover. He did not have to be quiet while stroking himself watching you this time.
You spread your legs a bit farther apart to massage your ass and pussy, and he threw the pen down to unbuckle his pants as quickly as he could. He couldn't wait anymore.
Light pulled his boxers down, freeing his boner as his hands clenched around it. As you applied lotion on your pussy, he imagined his hand to be yours, and ran it up and down his hard dick, just like you did whenever you two had sex.
Slowly, he picked up the pace and pumped his dick faster and faster, all the while remembering how your breathy voice moaned from underneath him whenever he teased your clit.
Light watched through the camera as you stood up. He didn't want you to wear clothes just yet. He couldn't let you cover yourself while he was still relishing the sight of your beautiful body. He waited with bated breath for you to sit back down.
You lay down on the bed, still naked, feeling the blanket underneath you. Little did you know, your boyfriend breathed a sigh of relief in his house, which quickly turned into a groan. He visualized your smirking face, your head bobbing as you sucked him, and his cum dripping from your mouth as you licked him dry.
You felt your eyes droop as you struggled to stay awake, and thought you might as well put on a face mask while you were at it. Light howled in annoyance when you covered your glimmering eyes, his hands still doing the work. He instead imagined how you would make eye contact while constantly licking and sucking his dick, and he felt himself getting hot.
Every movement of your sleeping face and breathing chest drove him crazy, edging him closer to his climax. Finally, after a particularly loud moan, he came all over his chair and the floor, the image of your messy hair and lustful screaming fresh in his mind.
© chuulyssa, 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
#light#light yagami#death note#smut#death note smut#yagami light#light yagami x reader#light yagami x you#light yagami x y/n#light yagami smut#death note x reader#death note x you#death note x y/n#light yagami death note#yandere#yandere!light
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Better than Almond Tofu
Xiao x GN!Reader Smut, MDNI!
CW: blowjob (Reader giving), established relationship, semi-public (?), kissing (hehe :3), shy Xiao, swallowing, comfort/aftercare
NSFW under the cut
series tag: #●BTAT
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Working as the new chef at Wangshu Inn had put a lot of stress on you. After Smiley retired, it was up to you (his apprentice) to maintain the culinary reputation of Liyues favorite Inn.
No pressure.
However, despite the weight of high expectations, you never woke up feeling stressed or overwhelmed (well, there would always be off days, but those were off days)- partially because you loved your job, and partially because your long time crush, and now boyfriend, considered the Inn as his "lair." Which, speaking of- you had tried to suggest terms other than "lair" because it sounded very villainous, but Xiao had no intention of changing his vocabulary. You would sigh and narrow your eyes, but despite his stubborn continued use of the deviously connotated word and how it made you shiver at first, you eventually came around, finding the title rather endearing and ending up using it yourself.
♡
It had been a long, busy day, and now that the sun was set, the workers of Wangshu Inn all collectively sighed in relief, retreating to their respective abodes for a good nights rest. Saturdays were always busy.
"Im heading up to Xiao, g'night Ms. Goldett!" You said to the boss of the Inn with a friendly wave, grabbing the plate of Almond Tofu you had made for Xiao. By now, it was your nightly routine- finish cleaning, make Xiaos meal, say goodnight to the boss, and head up to his lair before bed (though, more often than not, you fell asleep laying on Xiaos lap, insisting that it was better than your cold, lonely bed).
The boss waved right back at you as she shoved the last of her belongings into her bag, preparing to retire for the night herself.
Making your way up the stairs with two hands on the plate of steaming food (archons forbid you drop it like that one time), a smile began to tug at the corners of your lips just as it did every other night. You couldnt help it, not with the way Xiao smiled so softly and graced you with little kisses, followed by a barrage of "thank you"s as though he were indebted to you and your cooking, even after telling him each night that you cooked for him because you loved him.
"Xiao?" You softly peeped, not wanting to startle him as you stepped up onto the balcony.
The Yaksha was leaning against the railing and staring out at the expanse of Liyue, only peering over his shoulder once you called his name, "Hm? Oh, (y/n), its you," he gave a gentle smile and left the railing to meet you half way, his hands rising from his sides to hold the plate over your own, making you blush. You noticed how his gloves were taken off, your heart fluttering as you realized that he remembered how much you loved it the last time he took them off.
You would think his body cold and calloused, but it was quite the contrary- his touch was as gentle as that of a tiny canary, his warmth as soothing as a fond childhood memory, and his skin silkier than even the finest silks of Teyvat. He was so soft, sweet, tender- it was intoxicating and you were never able to get enough, even if you were to spend every waking moment of the day with him.
He took the plate of tofu with a "thank you" and set it aside, focusing his attention on you, "You look so sleepy. Are you feeling alright?" He asked, his voice a soft coo.
You nodded, bringing your hands up to hold his cheeks, "Mhm. Just a long day, but i dont mind. Come here," you purred, leaning in and pressing your lips on his. You thought he would only reciprocate like he usually did- pressing his lips against yours before pulling away to cover his blushing face- but tonight was different. He slid his hands onto your waist and pulled you closer, kissing you back with a passion you didnt know he had in him yet. Gently pulling away, he gazed into your eyes, an intense blush creeping over both of your faces.
Your hands fell from his cheeks to his shoulders and your words seemed to catch in your throat from the pounding of your heart in your chest. Xiao brought one hand up to caress the soft skin of your cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth as he studied your eyes, "Was... was that okay?" He asked, his voice gentle and soothing, pulling you out of your racing thoughts.
You smied and nodded leaning into the comforting touch of his warm hand on your face, "Can I have another?"
Xiaos eyes widened a bit, not having expected you to ask for more- though it was a welcome surprise. He leaned in and kissed you again, this time deeper than before. His tongue swiped against your lips and you parted your mouth, inviting him deeper. Your tongues pushed against one another in a messy kiss, swapping saliva as his hand moved from your cheek to the back of your head, his fingers threading into your hair. You instinctively rested your body against his, making his breath hitch in his throat with a quiet gasp.
It continued like this for several minutes- you were lost in his embrace, the sweetness of his mouth, the warmth of his body pressing against yours. Time melted away and all you could think about was the way his tongue felt inside your mouth, and the more he kissed you, the more you wanted.
You couldnt help but quietly moan into his lips as the hand that was once gripping your waist moved to the dip in your lower back just above the hem of your pants, pulling you against him. Xiao didnt seem to realize, but by pulling you that much closer, you could now feel the tightness that was forming in his pants, causing your once steady breathing and quiet moans to stutter. That, Xiao did notice. He gently broke the kiss, lightly panting, "A-are you okay?" He asked, concern lacing his voice.
You licked your lips and nodded, "Hm? Why wouldnt i be? I was just a little... surprised, is all," you explained, your gaze softening and a reassuring smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
Xiao seemed a bit confused, his brows slightly pushing together in thought, "Surprised..?"
It suddenly hit you that Xiao hadnt exactly noticed the tent in his pants. You leaned in, "You... have an erection, Xiao," you explained, your voice soft and lightly laced with desire.
Xiaos eyes instantly widened and his entire face turned red as he froze up, glancing down to where he had pulled you closer as if to make sure he wasnt hearing things. When his gaze rose back to you, you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was mortified, so before he could spew out a tsunami of apologies and disappear, you tightened your grip on his shoulders to ground him, "Xiao, its nothing to be embarrassed about, please dont go!" You plead, earning an apologetic expression from him.
"B-but-"
"Please...?" You said, cutting him off.
"I-it... wont go away on its own, i have to go s-so i can take ca-
"Let me do it for you," you offered, looking up at him with puppy-dog eyes, "I-i... i want to help you... please, dont go."
Xiao gulped hard, thinking for a moment. He had never done such a thing before (which was to be expected considering his lack of experence with, well, anything and everything to do with humans), having always taken care of it himself, but he knew for a while now that this would have eventually come up. He knew that when humans got in relationships they indulged in frivolous, physical romantics, but he never understood any of it- until he met you. The way your fingers moved so grasciously over his each time you held hands, the way the sweet taste of your lips lingered on his after each little kiss, the way he couldnt help but stare a moment longer than he should whenever you would wear revealing or form-fitting clothing- it all made him start to catch himself thinking shameful, perverted things about you and your body. Thats when he understood human romantics- thats when he started looking forward to the day he got to experience it with you.
With a shakey breath, Xiao nodded, agreeing to let you help him, "J-just... be careful, a-and dont push yourself..."
Your eyes lit up with excitement and you couldnt help but press an adorable little kiss to his bright red face as a genuine smile spread across yours, "Ill be gentle, i promise."
If you had a tail like General Gorou, it would be wagging like crazy right now.
You had Xiao sit in one of the two chairs you brought up to his lair quite some time ago before carefully dropping to your knees before him. You looked up into his gaze with those pretty doe-eyes of yours, making sure he was comfortable and okay as your hands slid up his clothed thighs. He brought one arm up to his face, covering his mouth with the back of his hand to try and stifle the little whimper that fell from his lips as your thumbs caressed his inner thighs. He watched as your fingers wrapped around the hem of his pants and gently tugged them down, guiding the restrictive fabric off his bulge. Xiao gave a strained groan as his erection sprung free- if it was possible for his face to turn any redder, it would have.
Your mouth instantly watered at the sight of his member and how hard it was just for you, forcing you to swallow down the saliva pooling in your mouth. His erotic scent filled your nose as you squeezed his thighs and leaned forward to kiss the precum drooling from his tip, your eyes never leaving his. You wanted so badly to tell him how cute his whimpers and gasps were, how you wanted him to not hold his voice back, but you kept it to yourself, not wanting to make him self conscious. You pressed your lips against the base of his cock, leaving a trail of heated kisses along the entire length before wrapping your lips around his leaking tip and circling your tongue around it. You watched with satisfaction as Xiaos eyes rolled back into his head and his brows furrowed together in pleasure, a full-blown moan rolling from his throat. His hand found its way to the back of your head, his fingers tangling into your hair as you began bobbing your head over his cock, taking the time to ensure that every inch was given the special attention it deserved.
"Ngh~... (y/n)..." Xiao breathlessly said between whimpers and moans, his eyes meeting yours once again as you managed to deepthroat his entire length, if only for a moment. Your thumbs massaged circles into his inner thighs and you moaned onto his cock at the taste of his delicious precum coating your mouth, a tiny tear pricking in the corner or your eye as you gag around his length.
"F-feels so... a-ah~ good..." Xiao whimpered, his grip on your head tightening. You felt his cock begin to twitch in your mouth and his hips slightly buck up into you as he drew closer to climax. Lewd, wet sounds of you sucking him off filled the air and you purposefully moaned more to send vibrations through his throbbing length as his breathing evolved into desperate panting and moaning.
"(y/n)... (y/n), i-im," he said before being interrupted by his own embarrassingly loud moan, "im gonna- haahh- cum, im gonna cum, l-let go before it gos in your m-mou-"
Before Xiao could even finish his sentence, you sucked harder and faster, running your tongue along the sensitive underside of his cock before deepthroating him one last time. With a sharp cry of your name, he pushed your head down further and released his hot seed deep inside your throat. You continued sucking and running your tongue over what you could reach to milk him of every last drop he had. He gasped hard, fully covering his mouth with his hand and squeezing his eyes shut as he hunched forwards from the intense waves of pure ecstacy, his hand clenching a fistful of your hair. You bobbed your head over his throbbing length a few more times to help him ride out his climax before pulling back and swallowing. Drool was smeared over your lips and chin and a little teartrack shone on your cheek, but the only thing Xiao saw was the happy, satisfied smile on your lips as you fixed his pants back around his waist and gazed up at him.
"(y/n)..." He said under his breath, still feeling aftershocks of pleasure.
"Did you enjoy it?" You asked with a lustful twinge in your voice, wiping your face clean with the sleeve of your shirt.
Xiao weakly nodded, still catching his breath and blushing hard, "Y-you... didnt have to... swallow it..." He murmured, stammering and tripping over his own words.
"Why wouldnt i?" You asked, fixing your hair.
"I-it... it cant taste good, y-you shouldve spit it ou-" Xiao began, only to be cut off by your finger on his lips to shush him.
You got off your knees and moved to straddle his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck, "I liked it. It tasted good, like you," you quietly explained, feeling his arms hug around your waist, "You know, from now on, i-if you... want to do it again... id be more than happy to."
"... I-i... wouldnt mind that..." Xiao admits, nuzzling his cheek into your hair as he holds you close.
"I love you, Xiao."
"I love you too, (y/n). Always."
There was a brief moment of silence as the two of you basked in one anothers embrace. Had you been cats, your purring would be so loud that you wouldnt be able to hear even the loudest of thunder claps.
"(y/n)?"
"Hm? Something wrong?"
"No, no, i was just thinking, uhm... if you wouldnt mind, id like to help you next time, too."
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a/n: i hope it was enjoyable :) apologies for how long it is, i got a bit carried away! Should i try and keep these shorter in the future? idk what you all prefer ~w~
a/n²: rip that almond tofu its cold as hell now qwq
#genshin fanfic#genshin impact x you#genshin x reader#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#xiao fanfic#genshin impact xiao#xiao x reader#xiao#adeptus xiao#xiao genshin impact#xiao smut#xiao x y/n#xiao x reader smut#●BTAT
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im such a fool for this actually i could’ve gone a much better route here this is so wishy washy. girl wtf do u mean “roman believes ambition is bad so he’s a dark side” BUT “roman believes ambition isn’t all bad which is why he becomes a dark side” youre a goddamn FOOL me of july 2020
bc obviously what happens is that roman thinks ambition is bad. he knows it’s bad and it is him accepting that ambition can be good that drags him out of this situation
and yes, he starts out being ambition as a result of janus telling him he was wrong + janus being accepted
only, why would the conclusion he draws be that ambition is good when janus, in his mind, is evil?
no, the conclusion is that selfishness, that ambition gets things done.
with roman’s black and white view of the world, how could i have misunderstood him so thoroughly as to believe he just. changed his mind on the fundamental truth of the morality of ambition?
rather, i think it’s a more accurate interpretation that against his will, he chooses the option that gets things done rather than what he perceives as The Right Thing To Do
because, as janus’ acceptance proves, it’s doing what gets things done that makes you the hero now, not doing The Right Thing
so no, roman’s worldview doesn’t change. his understanding of what c!thomas and the other sides want from him does.
so he becomes ambition!roman while still believing ambition is evil. he allows himself to become cutthroat and and selfish and desire things for thomas’ gain
but.
the thing about what happens in this version is that roman hates himself for his choice.
that’s why he’s a dark side.
that’s why accepting that ambition can be a good thing allows him to be just roman again.
and isn't that so much better than the contradictions of my explanation before?
in my head and my heart, roman’s view of the other sides is part of what divides them into dark and light.
yes, patton as morality plays a part in that.
no, i have not rewatched the series in probably nearing two years at this point.
however. i have some recollection that in that dramatic way of his, roman was the first to vocalize the term dark sides
SO i will run with that idea and suggest that however much of a role patton may have played in the divide of the sides into light and dark, roman with his all-or-nothing mindset would have pushed that divide to the logical extreme, giving the dark sides their own specific name and deliberate association with evil
if so much of what the dark sides are is in their name and roman gave that name to them, it stands to reason that he’d be able to give it to himself as well
in dismissing his own interpretation of what is good, roman becomes the very thing he despises. he ignores what he believes to be The Right Thing in order to be loved and appreciated instead.
no wonder he hates himself for that fundamental betrayal of himself.
(yes, this reinterpretation would affect some of the other things i’ve written for ambition!roman, particularly the aftermath (which, tbh, would make more sense w this version lol it’s also wishy washy as it’s written rn). but not much externally since he Is an actor and not enough for me to do this for all of my posts lol)
i wanna hear more about how roman takes his ambitions to the extreme please and thank you!!!
!!!!!!! meri you spark indescribable amounts of joy
,,cue me trying Desperately to remember What The Hell i was thinking about when i made that post last night
okay so context from the original ambition!roman post: “i can easily see roman pushing back against his own failings by taking the ambitions that he’d been ignoring before and just... pushing them to the extreme.”
i’m pretty sure what i meant when i said there was more here was just that it isn’t as simple as i ended up putting it, because roman wouldn’t decide to do something so dramatically against what he’d previously stood for without more reason than “janus said so,” which is essentially what it appeared to boil down to in the post. there’s more that happened before that, and more that will happen after that if roman were to truly become ambition!roman.
to start,, there’s obviously the mental awakening of janus telling him that he chose wrong in pof, but it goes even past that, because janus is at least tentatively accepted almost immediately after that
now, what conclusion is roman going to come to but “ambition might be good, actually”
(note that this conclusion likely wouldn’t be conscious. it’s going to take a little bit more than that to get roman to change his entire worldview, after all, but it’s a start, at least. it plants the seeds of doubt, and all that.)
in an ideal world, i would be able to remember Several More Examples where it was proven to roman that “ambition might be good, actually,” but alas,,, it is not an ideal world and i have No Idea if those other examples even exist in canon, though in my head the world of ambition!roman, at least, they very much do.
point is, though, that roman has to believe that ambition isn’t all bad if he is to embody it.
even when he believes that he is completely dark, there is a small part of him that holds onto the idea of him being a pure, chivalrous hero
and that small part is what stops him from giving up on himself entirely
so! we now have a set up where roman realizes that ambition might just be what he needs to have to get Everything He Wanted (rooooll credits!)
and it’s vitally important to note that he still wants stuff. he’s thomas’s hopes and dreams, of course he wants stuff!
and of course he wants what’s best for thomas
and with janus’s “you made the wrong choice” spiel fresh in his mind... what if he just did... what ever it took... to make thomas happy... to give him what he wants, not what morality might dictate is right? what if he just... wanted to prove... that he wasn’t useless? that he could still achieve things, still help thomas achieve things?
what if he just wanted to be appreciated?
well.
doing Whatever It Takes to get what you want?
that’s ambition, babey!!
yeah, roman would try to deny it at first. it’s in his nature to denounce anything he considers evil at this point in his arc, isn’t it?
but when it starts working? when the other sides start appreciating what he’s doing for them again?
when thomas starts appreciating him again?
well.
maybe he is ambitious, and maybe it’s not so bad.
so he starts doing more. starts convincing thomas to push away the friends that don’t do something for him, that don’t increase his social standing, don’t improve his image. he starts becoming just a bit more ruthless. if thomas comes across someone he’s auditioning against, someone who poses a threat to his career and they just happen to be near a flight of stairs... what’s the harm in a little nudge, right? “oh, calm down patton. it was a short flight of stairs!” the other sides—thomas—deserve to get what they want, after all.
even if it means stepping on anyone who gets in the way.
at least they’re all happy now.
at least they all appreciate him.
right?
#ambition!roman#sanders sides#this addition is inspired by me receiving a notif on one of the ambition!roman posts#and then by my going into my tag to re read all of them#as u do. and realizing that oh god i was so stupid this could be so much better#i do wonder how much of my ambition!roman writing is inspired by my mental state at the time#and how much of my reinterpretation is just me becoming cleverer or better at coming up with character arcs/motivations#bc ik when i wrote this before i was obsessed with the idea of fundamental good and fundamental evil and how it wasnt real and#that you could be a Good Person while also being selfish or ambitious or any number of things where you put yourself first#and now i care less abt that and a lot more about the idea of acting for yourself instead of for others which.#i think that theme is fairly evident here#the moral of the story is that no matter how many years go by i will inevitably project onto roman. its like clockwork its all cyclical#i cannot escape it i will always be here thats all thank you#(also the link in the og post didnt have the right username when i wrote this. but its updated in the og post just not from this rb#i hope that explanation was coherent. anyway thats for if u want the context to wtf im talking abt lawl)#ALSO SIDE NOTE I CHECKED AFTER I FINISHED WRITING THIS#AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABT THE ROMAN SAYING THE DARK SIDES FIRST THING. BTW.#he also Explicitly says hes the one who made it up god im so smart and clever and and and#i was right i rlly cannot escape its been like two years and i still remembered. insane behavior
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charles x alive reader w a sprinkle of angst? established relationship pls? maybe the reader is going off to college (american reader) and like the reader is getting older but charles is not and maybe there’s a little sprinkle of fear with that? happy ending tho pls!! tysm i love ur writing!
tysm for the request !! hope i didnt keep you waiting too long and this is what you had in mind
charles / alive!reader - getting older and going to college
a/n: for the purposes of this fic reader is going to college early at around 17
wc: 1027
tags: gender neutral reader, alive reader, american reader
your fingers trembled as you moved the cursor to the email from the college you had applied to. standing above you, charles guided your hand, keeping it steady. "whatever happens, i love you, yeah?"
you huffed a laugh. "i know that, silly."
"just trying to reassure my awesome, genius [boy/girlfriend/partner]."
rolling your eyes, you clicked on the email. your gaze zeroed in on the word at the top, in big bold letters: CONGRATULATIONS.
"holy shit," you breathed. you stood up to look at charles incredulously.
"HOLY SHIT!" charles yelled, grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you excitedly. "i TOLD you!" he tugged you into a hug, jumping up and down. you pulled apart, only for him to kiss you and draw your bodies together again. you grinned into his lips.
"you." charles punctured his worlds with kisses to your cheek. "are. amazing."
you laughed at his antics. this was your dream college, and you would be happy about it. you wouldn't think about how, when you inevitably left, charles might not be there to cheer you on like he was right now.
no - what mattered was that he was here, and you were together in this moment, at least.
you kissed him again.
⌦ ---
edwin and crystal were on your right, and charles was on your left, rubbing circles into your hand. jenny had closed down her butcher shop for the night, because 'it's your birthday. it's a special occasion.' you had smiled then, and hugged her tight to show your gratitude.
the lights were dimmed, and niko's decor expertise meant fairy lights draped across every available surface, including the moose taxidermy head. she had also tied pink ribbons to its antlers.
jenny and niko emerged from the back room - jenny held a cake, lit with 17 candles. niko animatedly followed her. "jenny was scared i'd drop the cake," she informed everyone. "but i placed the candles - that's why they're in a heart! and i wrote the message in frosting."
"aww, they do make a heart," you said. "that's so cute."
jenny carefully put down the cake in front of you. you leaned forward and grinned at what niko wrote on it - 'WE LOVE YOU!!' in impeccable cursive, and then a small 'happy birthday' underneath it. niko hurried to stand next to charles, and jenny went to stand across from you all.
jenny pulled out her phone and held it up to record a video (even if ghosts couldn't show up on recordings). "sing happy birthday, guys!" she said.
everyone sang - even edwin. you smiled sincerely at all your friends, and mouthed a 'thank you' to jenny behind the camera.
"presents time!" niko squealed.
"ooh, me first," crystal said. she held out to you a box that had materialised from seemingly from nowhere. it was a simple brown, with a dark purple bow. you opened the box to find a novel you had been searching for for ages now - you were touched she remembered - and a soft sweater. you 'aww'ed' at her and gave her a hug.
edwin handed you a leather-bound notebook and a fancy pen - both of which were engraved with your name on it. "i happened to know a person who did custom engravements," he said simply, when you tried to thank him.
jenny gave you a pair of headphones from a brand you knew was not cheap. you gaped at her. "seriously?" you squealed.
"what? isn't it what teenagers like nowadays?"
you tackled her into a hug.
niko gifted you a very detailed drawing of you, her, crystal, edwin, and charles. "i wanted you to have a picture of all of us for when you go to college, but we can't exactly photograph the boys."
you smiled at her sincerely, even as something anxious twisted in your chest. charles was last to give you your present, and your forced smile barely concealed the sadness welling up inside you. from the pockets of his jacket, he pulled out a metal... contraption about the size of a phone.
"it's a music box kind of thing," he explained. "i got it at tragic mick's, and it's got all your favourite songs in it, plus a few others that reminded me of you."
you kissed him in lieu of a ‘thanks’, cradling the gift gently in your hands.
even with all the celebration and presents, though, you couldn't shake the underlying fear in you at the thought of getting older, and having to move on - move away - to other things.
⌦ ---
after cake and good-natured banter around the table, everyone returned to their rooms - crystal went to bed, but you could hear the soft sound of scooby doo and edwin's inquiring voice from niko's room. charles had followed you to yours, not that you were complaining.
"i know we still have a lot of time till i leave," you said immediately after you shut the door. "but i'm gonna miss you a lot."
"hey, listen," charles said, taking your face in his hands. "i promise, [name], that i will mirror travel to you no matter what, at least once a week. although we both know it'll be more than that, yeah? cause i could never be away from you for that long."
you laughed. "yeah."
"and that's why i'm giving this to you." charles reached into his pocket again, this time withdrawing a cloth satchet. "open it," he said as he placed it into your hands.
you complied, gasping in surprise as you found a gorgeously crafted pocket mirror.
"i'll mirror travel through it. it works - i've already tried." he said. "i know you're scared about what might happen, and i am too. but let's just take things day by day, yeah?" his hands moved from your face to your shoulders, then down your arms - you shivered at his gentle touch - eventually coming to intertwine your fingers.
"cause right now," he continued. "you're my [boy/girlfiend/partner] and i'll put in all the needed effort to keep it this way. that sound good?"
you laughed in relief, a huge weight having been lifted off your shoulders and a bit teary-eyed. "yeah. that sounds brills."
#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#dead boy detectives fic#dead boy detectives x reader#charles rowland x reader#charles rowland x you#charles rowland/reader#charles rowland/you#dbd
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Achilles - H.Yunjin
Sypnosis: Throughout their whole lives, Yunjin has adored her Patroclus.
Tags: fluff, mentions of mythology, mentions of Song Of Achilles, just Yn being stupid and Yunjin being a simp
Pairing: Nonidol!Yunjin x Nonidol!Reader:
Authors Note: I tried to write like madeline miller (it didnt work)
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Yn always loved dawn.
Its steady crimson painting of the horizon brings a certain warmth to yn, one that only its vanquishing of darkness can bring, and its pastel aftermath deemed it as the sole guardian of her happiness.
Until Yunjin.
Yn was 10 when she first met yunjin. Stiff and uncomfortable, she remembered stuffing herself in the corner of the classrom nose-deep in a book. Her eyes squinted with concentration, and a small pout donned her face as she struggled to read the words under the flourescent lighting.
She had no friends, not that she needed them. The worlds she read about were enough—worlds where heroes loved and fought, where people were grander, braver than anything in reality.
As usual, The Song Of Achilles was clutched tightly in her hand.
Even though the book was not meant for her age, due to a innaprorpiate scene (Yn always skips her part so that in her mothers words, “She could keep her innocence”), but she loved it nonetheless. The descriptions of Achilles’ brillliant skill and Patroclus’ steady devotion blew her away with amazement. As she flips page to page, her intense glare starts to lessen, and she almost feels better.
As if.
Until a voice, bright and sudden, shattered her peace.
“Is that The Song Of Achilles?”
There, between the wide array of books, stood a girl.
Her hair a deep muted brown that was identical to the oak of the library Yn loved so much. Her doed eyes, though also brown, held a different form of warmth, one that drew her in at an instant. Her cheeks were round and slightly chubby, having a sense of childishness to them that was almost cute.
It was strange to see this girl among the books she loved so much, how she seemingly erased them from sight with Yn’s sight with a single question.
Yn bit her lip, the familiar sting grounding her in the present. Yet, beneath the sharpness, there was a restlessness—a ripple in her otherwise steady world, a world that Yunjin, with her radiant curiosity, had already begun to disturb.
“Yn bit down on her lip, feeling the brief sting pull her back into the present, grounding her in her discomfort. 'Yes…' The word lingered in the air, fragile, before she could catch it. 'It’s my favorite book—one of them, at least.' The girl’s gaze held fast, each word Yn spoke sinking deep into her like roots seeking water.
Yn felt, for the first time in a long while, the weight of someone listening, truly listening. It was almost enough to make her want to say more, to let the words spill, but her pride stopped her.
She would not yield.
Really?' There was a flicker in Yunjin’s eyes, something like the dawn she loved so much. Soft and patient, waiting.
It was almost god-like.
It unnerved Yn how open her expression was, unguarded and full of hope.
That openness felt like an invitation, and in it, Yn sensed the edge of vulnerability that made her…scared.
'…yes.' The word slipped out like a confession. As if summoned, Yunjin stepped closer, her presence warm like the hazy setting of the horizon as it creeped across the room.
Yn watched, helpless, as the girl settled beside her, limbs unfolding with the lazy grace of a mountain lion at rest. There was something disarming about Yunjin—something that softened the edges of Yn’s usual defenses, making the tightness in her shoulders ebb away. What spell did this girl put on her?
“Who’s your favourite in the book?” The words seemed to come naturally to Yn this time, tumbling out before she could stop them. She bit her bottom lip, almost also in intervening from any more questions from spilling as the girl pursed her lip in thought.
“I like….Achilles.” A small smile appeared on the girls face, one seemingly brimming with satisfation at her answer.
“Achilles?”
“Oh.”
Achilles, the brilliant, the fast, the genius. Yn noted how the girl’s vibrant presence seemed to echo the character's brilliance. In that moment, she couldn’t help but see something of him in the way Yunjin smiled, unshakable and bright, like the sun.”
Yn tilted her head slightly, her gaze narrowing as the girl’s smile broadened. The soft light from the dim lamps barely reached them, yet Yunjin seemed to carry her own radiance, something that, despite her hesitance, drew Yn in.
“My name is Yunjin! Im new here.” the girl announced, her eyes crinkling with a warmth that Yn couldn’t even pretend to have.
So this was the new girl everyone was talking about, the one that was “bound to become the new popular kid”.
“That’s so pretty!”
So why was she here?
“What’s yours?” Yunjin once again questioned, blinking as she watched the girl flinch.
“….Yn.”
Yn avoided her gaze as she bit her lip nervously.
“Really?”
“Yeah!”
Yn peered at Yunjin, searching for any hint of mockery, but found none. Instead, Yunjin’s grin only widened.
Why was this girl so simple?
“We should be friends.” ”Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Huh.
As she looked back at her pages, a familiar warmth settled in her chest.
For the first time in a long while, the dawn seemed a little brighter.
Yn felt a smile creep up her lips.
In the summer they turned 16 Yn’s classmates prediction proved correct. It was as though the world had been waiting to notice her, and when it finally did, her popularity skyrocketed.
But Yunjin had help.
With Yunjin’s constant sunshine and laughter, Yn was now labelled as her silent but steady companion. Known for her devoted nature, Yn’s cat-eyed stares kept their followers at bay, always remaining at least 3 meters away from them. (Im canadian, sue me)
But now matter how intimidating she tried to seem, it seemed some fans would always slip through.
Yn leaned foward on board surrounding the volleyball court, watching as Yunjin got surrounded by students.
It was a breaktime before the second set, and she watched as Yunjin grinned at her disciples, toothy and goofily shaking the hands reached out to touch her, as if she was a god.
Yn rolled her eyes, before leaning into the boards even more to get her attention.
Yn raised a hand in a wave, and, without hesitation, Yunjin ran forward, tearing through the crowd like a hungry animal. She wrapped Yn in an embrace that was as fierce as it was sudden, her arms tight, almost crushing, around her. The way she gave so much of herself without holding back was slightly overwhelming, but it felt nice.
It felt like Yunjin.
In the press of Yunjin’s body against hers, in the unchecked joy that radiated from her, Yn felt a breath of something warm in her chest.
“Hi.” She heard the the taller girl whisper, pressing her face into Yn’s neck as she pulled her impossibly closer.
“You’re choking me.” Yn grumbled, her voice muffled.
“Oopsies.” Unwinding herself, Yunjin still kept her arms around Yn’s waist as she observed her outfit.
Yn remembered the day Yunjin had gotten into their team. Her excited banging on her door and she engulfed her with giggles. Yn remembers being thrown a black jersey with a bright number 10, and Yunjin’s anticipated blinks.
“Please wear it to our games.” She remembered Yunjin pleading, avoiding her gaze as she intertwiend their fingers together in desperation.
So, she wore it to the game this afternoon.
“You’re staring.”
“Oh.”
Yunjin’s gaze was unwavering, her eyes tracing the contours of Yn’s jersey with a soft smile. “You look…” She hesitated, then added, “Good.”
Yn snorted lightly. “Litearlly everyone’s wearing the same exact jersey, ‘ace’.” She teased slightly, using the nickname the crowd seemed to love.
“Still, yours is…” She didnt need to finish that sentence. They both knew.
“Whatever.” Yn peeked out a smile, grabbing Yunjin’s attention in a flash.
Suddenly, the coach blew their whistle noisily, causing the two to jump slightly.
Yn snickred as Yunjin muttered slightly, seemingly frustrated at their moment being interrupted.
“You smiled too!” Yunjin groaned as she slumped over, pouting.
“I’m still going to watch.” Yn pushed the girl gently, rolling her eyes in amusement.
“Go on, win for me ‘ace’.” Yn watched as the girl blinked, processing her sentence, before flushing a dark red and nodding furiously.
“Bet.”
As the girl jumped over the board and made her way to the net, a new determination in her, Yn sighed slightly as she leaned back.
She watched as Yunjin readied herself, the concentration in her eyes was something not even Yn could created. Yn never admitted it, but something about this side of Yunjin made her smile.
Its silence, its waiting.
She watched as the volleyball smashed through, as the setter drew herself to prepare.
Yunjin took back steps percisely, something that always amazed her. Its accuracy, its power.
Yn knew it all too well.
Yunjin suddenly stumbled, waking Yn from her trance. The opponents paused, confusion obvious in their expression, but they should have known better.
Yn should have known better.
Just then, a jump, and a tap.
Yunjin feinted the ball, and the crowd was silent as the ball dropped.
There was no stumble, no clumsyness in her actions.
Yunjin, just like Achilles always did, used the ever so trickable human error against the other team.
Yn blinked. Even from within their childhood to now, Yn has never seen Yunjin trip. The way she walked, ran, did anything, was always so smooth, it was like gliding.
It was almost unreal.
The crowd cheered.
As they locked eyes, Yunjin pointed at her with a beam.
“This is for you.” Yunjin mouthed, drawing her lips up to a childish grin.
As always, there was no taunting in her words. In her eyes, full of affection and victory, help something behind its layers of joy.
Yn bit her lip, torn between Yunjin’s contagious delight and her confusion.
The question lingered in her mind, one that stayed until night:
Why did Yunjin like her so much?
Strayed romances and beloved heartbreaks seemed to wage like war, cupids arrows flying wildly and Yn and Yuniin stayed in their sanctuary.
Yn closed her eyes, enjoying the hushed raindrops that surrounded Yunjin’s room. As always, her lifetime companion laid beside her, eyes concentrated on the blurry tv screen.
As part of their routine, Yunjin was watching mean girls on the shitty television, one they had bought at a garage sale with their combined budget.
Yn rolled her eyes as Yunjin giggled at Regina George’s song, kicking her feet as if in love. “At this point i should just break this television.” Yn scoffed, squinting her eyes at Yunjin’s romantic admiration.
“You wouldnt understand my love for her.” Yunjin pouted, widening her mouth at love as she shaped a heart with her fingers. Yn gagged, pushing the girl away with a sneer as Yunjin laughed.
Suddenly, a call came from outside. “Yunjin!”
Yunjin groaned slightly, before throwing the blanket off herself with a huff.
“I’ll be back.” She mumbles, before shutting the door behind her.
As Yunjin was off, Yn glanced around her room. Despite being more in Yunjin’s room than her own, there was always a feeling the lighting and plants gave off that seemed to relax Yn.
Due to Yunjins bubbly and loud personality, Yn always thought that her room would be extremely messy and out-of-place.
However, looking at the room’s decoration, it felt nothing like that.
Yes, the room was slightly tumbled around, with its off centre paintings covering the walls, but it felt sharp, calm, real.
It felt like Yunjin.
Slipping out of bed, she made way to the small bookshelf in Yunjin’s corner, one full of different books that both she and Yn collected throughout the summers. Tracing her fingers across the books spines, she stopped at a specific title. The Song Of Achilles. Pulling the book out gently, Yn observed how the book seemed weared down. Between the yellowing pages were different labels and highlights, but the condition of the paper seemed to be fully taken care of, as if every page was traced with love.
Yunjin always seemed to do that.
As she flipped through the pages, she paused slightly, tilting her head slightly as a bright yellow flashed by. Stopping at the page, she squinted. On the page, underneath a pink highlight of the word love, stuck a bright yellow note, vandalized by Yunjin’s messy handwriting. On it, it read:
“Yn makes me feel this…i hope i can make her feel it too”
A breathe,
A blink.
In the comfort of Yunjins room, with it’s fairy lights and over-the-place positioning, her heart squeezed. It was a slight feeling, but one, despite its small clench, that changed Yn.
In her smiles and eye crinkles, in her goofy humor, in her doe-eyed observation, Yn found something.
In Yunjin, Yn found love.
A small grin made its way to Yunjin’s face as she flipped her page. The small tunes of a song played behind them, and, with that, hushed rain as well.
As time flew by, Yunjin, being the puppy she is, followed Yn to university. She remembered her eye-crinkling grin as she pushed open Yn’s door (as usual) to celebrate getting in, only to get the alchohol in her hand to get thrown out Yn’s window.
Now, the duo made an effort to re-enter their usual routine. (Wihtout the shitty television this time)
Yn sighed slightly, lying on her bed as she glanced around her room.
Despite being at the university for 2 years already, the dorm was fairly clean. Even with Yunjin’s begging, Yn refused to share a dorm with her. Mainly based on how overbearing she constantly was, but also because she probably couldnt handle living with a girl she was in love with.
However, as always, Yunjin rammed down her door with popcorn and books, demanding to hang out.
That was how it came to now, how, even though she was supposed to be taking a nap, Yn now found herself entangled in Yunjin’s attention-seeking whines.
“Yn?” Yunjin’s voice called, snapping her back to the present.
“Hm?” Yn hummed, putting her arm over her eyes to cover the light (yunjin) hovering over her.
“What do you think would be the perfect confession?”
Yn’s breathe hitched.
Refusing to let herself overthink, Yn pursed her lip in thought.
“Mm…a bouquet of flowers and and a hi.” Yn smiled, Yunjin’s graceful charm bugging the back of her mind.
“Really?”
Then, without warning, Yunjin rose quickly to her feet, her movements a blur of speed. Before Yn could fully register what was happening, Yunjin was halfway to the door, her fiery spirit always one step ahead.
“Wait!” Just before Yunjin rushed through the door, Yn managed to grab the skin of her sweater, furrowing her brows in annoyance.
“Its pouring outside, where are you going to go in this weather?” She panted.
“Emergency.” Yunjin said, her grin lopsided and full of mischief, the kind of smile that made Yn’s heart breathe everytime.
Then, before she could respond, Yn felt the door click.
“Where did Yunjin go?” Ryujin, her dormmate called from the kitchen.
“Only god knows.” Yn grumbled under her breath, slumping back to her bedroom to clean up the mess Yunjin made in her hurry.
A few hours later, Yn was taking care of her billion plants. As usual, they were all from Yunjin, who decided to ruin Yn’s peace with another horrific task that took hours. But, when she saw her raw joy and brilliant smile, she couldnt refuse.
Walking by all the plants, she fiddled with their leaves and stems, gently handling the blooming flowers as she fed them water.
Just as she was watering the last one, one Yunjin demanded to call Patro (for patroclus) near the entrance, the door swung open, revealling a soggy Yunjin. Yn gasped as she took her in, her usual fiery red hair now in wet strands that were damp and low. In her clenched fist, a bouquet of flowers sprung open, seemingly dry compared to the person.
Yn looked in Yunjin’s eyes, slight hesitance showing through despite the amount of hope she conveyed.
Her hair, her eyes her smile, all things that belonged to Yunijn and Yunjin only.
“Hi.” Yunjin breathed.
But Yunjin’s heart?
Yunjin’s heart was hers.
Her Achilles.
Her dawn.
Yn always loved dawn.
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