#<- bc theyre a large part of it.
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my guilty pleasure is watching izethetic's mcyt music videos
#honestly im not all that guilty about it they are absolute FIREEEEEE#their work is so good idec#dsmp#<- bc theyre a large part of it.
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I wonder what the kids and teachers in luz's school think of her now. Shes stopped "terrorizing" other kids, mainly because she seems to have stopped engaging with most of her classmates period. She no longer brings live animals or taxidermy to school. She even participates in english class occasionally, even if she doesnt "get" the point of the book. Her rants only clock as suicidal if you know about her time in the boiling isles which the people at her school do not.
I wonder if luz's teachers and schoolmates think that luz mellowed out over the summer. If the principal/counselor that suggested she go to the camp patted himself on the back because shes "improved."
#the owl house#toh#shut up pandora#luz noceda#something something people see a neurodivergent kid having depression and breathe a sigh of relief bc now theyre finally 'normal'#people speculate maybe luz would have been fine going to the summer camp and while i agree she would have made friends#she would not have been fine! she would have just learned to suppress her identity like camila did#but going to the boiling isles was her only option bc she either gets suppressed quickly at the summer camp#or she keeps acting out at school and eventually society wears her down and shames her into conforming like it did to her mom#something about how even if the camp helps luz act like a 'normal person' she still would have been miserable bc she couldnt be herself#it temporarily benefits her by giving her friends and benefits ppl around her by making her act 'normal'#but the kids there are still weird at heart! they have a community to be weird around now but society at large will still look down on them#unless they put on a front all the time to fit in#and the boiling isles isnt perfect either its society still looks down on luz for being different#but it accepts her neurodivergence and her new friends are all neurodivergent like her so she still has a community to be herself around#and while it looks down on her for having no natural magic it isnt something shes been shamed about growing up like her neurodivergence was#anyway the camp wasnt as catastrophic as luz thought it would be and vee benefitted from it#but it still represented a slow rot. the kind that eats away at neurodivergent kids as they grow up#slowly shaming them to hide away parts of themselves deemed unfit for society#and when you hide behind a front and are exhausted and miserable from it#everyone applauds you for your 'recovery.' youve improved yourself. they never liked the old you#good job on destroying yourself and shoving the pieces into a facsimile of what the people around you think you ought to be
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i think bell's hells is the most realistic depiction of what would actually happen if you took a group of random people and told them the fate of the world was on their shoulders.
#critical role#bell's hells#like i still need to watch some of the previous episodes but like#bell's hells are so tragic#and i think that might be why theyre less popular than previous campaigns#bc people came in expecting a heros journey#and they instead got a complete deconstruction of why herosim is a curse#part of me feels like i need to rewatch from the beginning#just so i can fully appreciate everything that got us to this point#like largely these people never wanted to be heroes#at least not on this scale#and all of a sudden they got wrapped up in something so much bigger#and theyre BREAKING under the weight of it all
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image I.D. below the cut
image description start:
[a promotional picture of Sam and Dean Winchester, Sam on the left and Dean on the right, their images from circa 2010. They both stare challengingly into the camera with their arms crossed, though Dean also holds a large blade. The background is a two lane blacktop with an older style of power line and corn on either side. At the top and bottom are flames. Sam says "im restricting", Dean says "and im bingeing" and the flaming text gif at the bottom reads "the eating disorder brothers.]
image description end.
#theyre both so unwell#grew up in a financially unstable environment and coped opposite ways.#and i left it broad on purpose bc theres a lot of ways you can interpret their weird shit about food#bc i too am deeply unwell i counted every time sam eats on screen (not sits next to a plate of food–actually puts it in his mouth) and its#22 times. less than twice a season. i realize this could be in large part bc jared didnt want to have to act that but im choosing to Believe#not in him but my mentally ill agenda. bc you wanna look at me and say that hes totally normal aboht this when he has a guilt complex#autonomy issues a holdup with purity/cleanliness a boatload of self-loathing and an obsession with control.#and this feels familiar so just message or comment for credit or removal :)#i dont mean to plagiarize#also i didnt talk about it much but. dean definitely sees food as an assurance of safety and turns to it when under duress to the point of#excess. and also gets very specific and protective/territorial about his food.#so.#this is a silly meme but there are so many thoughts behind it#sam winchester#dean winchester#spn#ed mention
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See, i love the war dogs, like, as characters. Narratively great. Unfortunately they remind me too much of Guys I Grew Up With, and all those guys had something dweebish lurking under the thin veneer of "Cool Guy" they cultivated. So my interpretation of the war dogs is. Perhaps less cool than they are supposed to be within kayfabe.
#its difficult bc the fan works of them theyre by and large having crazy sex and being cool#and im liks hm i want to put them in a terrarium#this is how i feel abt all bullet club gaijin for the most part. tbf#actually. most of bullet club period#idk its something abt the insisting theyre straight g killers w body counts in all their theme music#and having alcohol amd gun themed nicknames#it makes me nostalgic for the loser boys that think theyre hot shit for liking rap and having access to pas liquor cabinet#tussling
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& well ok there's the kakashi/tobi ship and I just cannot get behind it bc I hate tobi so much like I'm not that big into kakashi/iruka but I can still appreciate it but kakashi/tobi is just like. Get that pasty bitch away from kakashi!!!!! He doesn't deserve him!!!!! And something something forgiveness and history yada yada whatever. I think kakashi deserves better.
And here's my 5 millions slides long presentation on why Gai is the best person for Kakashi [insert every picture of them loving and supporting one another and lifting each other up and playing around and being goofy and trusting each other immensely etc etc etc]
Yeah.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#tangentially related. lol.#listen im a multishipper and unless theres smth morally ugh with a ship i generally dont passionately hate any ship#but them. fuck U t/obi i hate ur ass#and like ok i havent gotten to that part in the story yet maybe my mind will be changed#but as-is it feels like smth that people largely ship bc theyre two 'attractive' characters that have a history#WHEREAS GAI. THE ONE WHO IS GENUINELY GOOD FOR KAKASHI. gets ignored by a lot of fans#bc he's goofy and kind of stupid and not angsty emo uchiha Ya Kno. ya kno.#but hes genuinely just. i could write entire essays. i feel so passionately about this#im still trying to avoid this coming up in anything related to the ship in question#bc i dont wanna poop on people's fun. so im sorry if this does show up somewhere in a search 😭😭😭#i just. need to get this off my chest hfkshfkd i just HATE HIMMMMMMMMMMM SO MUCH im sorry 😭😭😭😭😭#(him being the stupid uchiha bitch. ugh.)
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once again my deepest thanks to etoiles english updates on twitter who always managed to translate his tone and second degré correctly
#jay liveblogs#le second degré is a bit of a culture shock i guess bc if you’re not used to it you think the cc is being serious but no theyre just french#and irony and satire is a large essential part of french humourl
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One thing ive been thinking about lately is that like
Its okay to only ever make bad art. Its okay to only paint "boring" things or only draw the same thing a million times or only be "okay" at sewing or crochet. Sometimes i think theres this idea that its okay to make bad art because its part of the process of making good art, but i think its fine to make art that is bad or just okay and not keep looking at it thinking about ways it is flawed or ways to make it better. If you want to improve and grow, thats great and you will through the process of just doing something over and over or looking for advice or other ways of learning.
But its also totally okay to only ever want to make bad art
#art#delete later#idk ive been thinking a lot about how like#for the last few years the vast majority of my art has been drawing d&d characters largely by tracing over refs#and just drawing the same things over and over#because it makes me happy!#and sometimes i just see this come off as like. a way to moralize taste/lack of satisfaction with how your work turned out#because that peice doesnt matter its just one step on the way to making better ones#but if you only ever make lumpy pottery thats fine! you made a lumpy pottery!#like my great aunts house is covered in paintings shes made#and theyre not to my taste they feel kinda generic and bland to me#but she is showing more of her art in her house than i am in mine and im like. which of us is happier as an artist#value your art where it is#especially if its a fucking hobby! jesus christ!#if its a hobby do you want to spend so much time and energy hating it you dont enjoy it anymore? fuck!#like i just finished a sweater and now a part of me wants to break fom knitting/crochet for a bit bc ive been working hard at it for a whil#and it turned out fine but with some fit issues i know to fix in future projects#but idk#i need to allow myself the freedom to let bad art be completed art#anyway this got weirdly sentimental#i should go paint some weird fish now#also from my own experience. it helps me appreciate other artists more#because it helps me stop going oh i could do that/could never do that#and i can just go. wow look at the cool art and technical skill on display
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I finally had a good dream ab the crabs!!
There was or had been a female purple pincher in the tank (but she wasnt there) and she and Gurkle had two babies!! One was a pinkish tan crab, and the other was a very very pale tan. They had shells that matched closely to their colorings so I named them Peaches & Cream respectively. I think Peaches was a boy, but I know Cream was a girl and slightly smaller
Anyway Gurkle LOVED them 😭 he was teaching them to climb in the dream and he would climb something and then come down and watch the babies try and idk how but I just knew he loved them 😭 he would watch them with such intense focus and interest and when they would inevitably fall (as they were learning) he would run to them and use his feeler antennae to make sure they were okay 😭
They, like their dad, kept trying to break out of the tank and succeeded at least once bc I saw them climbing on the curtains in my room agdgdgd little shits
I remember thinking in my dream "damn I wonder why people say hermit crabs can't reproduce successfully in captivity bc these fuckers sure grew FAST" like they had went from teeny tiny larvae looking things to full blown 3/4in and 1/2in sized crabs FAST
Idk where Scupa was in the dream, but I remember being proud of Gurkle that he got to be the one to fertilize the clutch sgdgdgdg weird that there was only 2 though
Anyway Peaches and Cream were like best buds in the dream and always following each other around and playing together when they weren't following their dad sgdggdgd it was too cute
#marquilla#now the rest of my dream was ehhhh bc i was watching a horror movie for some reason and it was very vivid but also kinda funny#but the part with the crabs was soo cute 😭😭 i think Cream was my favorite of the pair dgdgdgdg idk why but she was so cute little babyyy#peaches was a mischievous little shit i do remember that and cream was like oh okay yay :) ab whatever he was doing as she followed sgdggdg#but gurkle was such a good dad 😭 he would sit with them at the food bowl even if he wasnt hungry so he could make sure they ate well#it was just the cutest thing especially bc most dreams ab them are like theres many crabs in the tank and theyre LARGE like giant conch#shells but the tank size never increases in the dream it's always my 40gal (i think thats the size idr)
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The meower
#Queued... technically March 23rd?#I mean its march 22nd in oregon. but im not there rn lolz#either way im late. SORRY !! i forfor to queue on the 20th then i was on planes for like 21 hrs total#well no 5 of those were a layover @ the airport but#ANYWAYYYYY hi future me !!!#Howww was the trip? im on my first (second actually- its 4am of the second day if u coukd the arrival) day in Hong Kong#Its rlly hot and humid so I think im gonna die. BUT ITS ALSO SUPER COOL !!#Even just from the few hours I had out earlier its amazingggg. The lights and the buildings are so cool and theres such a fun but chaotic#atmosphere - idk if its just bcs its a big city or specific to HK?#I loveee large cities in general. New york. Tokyo. HK. thats all of the ones ive been to ig#I havent seen even close to all of HK. Im in central rn but we're goin to other parts later#Dad says the other parts are totally different- Like theres LOADS of gisnt buildings here (WAY MORE THAN U SEE IN ******!!! u know that tho#and theyre almost all residential of the ones I passed. Im sure theres offices n stuff i just didnt see them in the likd 20 minutes cab#ride lolz. U know all tuis already tho#ig what im getting at is HOW WAS THE TRIP !!!!! How was the rest of HK? WHAT WAS KYOTO LIKE??#augh soo many cool things.....#Also also !! Have you learned any mire katakana?#ive JUST learned the vowel line so maybe u lesrned the k line now too?#I cant imagine school is any different. OHH DID U FINISH THE M P 10P COMIC??#I started it and got abt one page done on the plane#I think it should only end up being two or three pages idk#Ohh !! Hows the new meds going !! I think u should have ur blood test done by now so do u know if it helped at all?#I hope soooooooooooo#Mm I think thats all I have to say .... NO WAIT HAVE U HUNG OUT W/ JACKIE??#i rlly want to b friends with her ^.^#Alright Thats all !! HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYYY I LOVE U#queue drop#weather report#WAIT EDIT DID THE TRIGUN VOLUME COME. HOW IS IT
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i have obtained a SIGNIFICANT and POTENTIALLY CARCINOGENIC BIOHAZARD and im BEYOND EXCITED ABOUT THIS
#the bhiohazard in question? a couple of nastyass turnouts!!!! a jacket and some pants!!!!!#yeah theyre sitting abt three feet away from me but dw!!! theyre in a big garbage bag so its ok ^-^#basically the EMT program (that im almost done with. as a side note but woot woot) is selling their old student ambulances#since theyre a bitch to maintain and we have a newer indoors simulator (its like. the back of an ambulace built into a room)#(like the back and one of the sides are open and it doesnt have a drivers compartment (duh) and no tires but is otherwise a Real Ambulance#which we use for practicing)#anyways so these old student ambulances gotta get cleaned out before they can be sold yeah?#and as it HAPPENS!! theyve been storing a SHIT TON of nasty filthy smelly turnouts in there for the past While#like probably 12-16 Large garbage bags full#(for those who dont know: turnouts are what those fucking. firefighter uniforms are called. like the ones they wear In Fires)#and they dont know what to do with them so theyre gonna get thrown away next week#so my TEACHER!!! was like 'yall if anyone Wants any of that shit you can literally just help urself'#so i went down today and poked thru some bags and GOT STUFFS!!!#anyways i am excited not only bc Turnouts Cool but ALSO bc theyre Super Fucking Insulated#bc theyre meant to be worn inside Massive and Super Hot fires#which yeah protects u from extreme heat but my GENUOS BRAIN also realized this: they would be STUPID COZY in cold weather#and i happen to be moving to a rather cold part of the states in a few months!!!!#so now i have free winter gear and its EXTRA SEXY STYLE#however u CANNOT clean turnouts at home bc#a) they gotta be washed with Extra Strong Industrial Fucking Machines#(called 'extractors' not 'washing machines')#and b)#they can and WILL leech nasty fucking toxins from structural fires into your machine and contaminate everything forever <3#so ive reached out to some 'send away' turnout laundry services#idk if theyre gonna do it tho cuz um. im Not associated with a fire department <3#so if that fails ill just do the best i can at home!!! <- research mode Engaged#either way theyre sexy and Yes i can still smell them despite them being bagged in a Super Rugged Industrial Manly Garbage Bag#(i didnt tie it super tight)#btu thats ok whats life without Danger <3#whatever the fuck
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sorry yall ik this is a controversial opinion that plenty of my friends disagree with (or at least a few). but i do not care about skyclan at all
#i have both firestars quest and skyclans destiny and ngl i cant tell you most of what happened#the most interesting aspect is the daylight warriors but even those are treated as a flaw of skyclan that is to be shamed and ditched#they have funny names which is cool…. i do like that.#but i hear about the individual characters and im like ‘’oh yeah….. sharpclaw…… that guy…. uh huh’’#i think part of why i dropped around avos was bc it involved them and i was like ‘’ok why though’’#i think moving them to the lake is a bad decision on concept for a lot of reasons tbh but once we get there lets see#(mostly its the bloat for me. and getting rid of the few interesting things about it)#like youd think a clan that suffered so much because of starclan and the other clans#who were cast out and forgotten by history and who’s current cats are largely former kittypets and rogues#would be….. at least a little less xenophobic and hardass about the code?#yes they allow the daylight warriors but theyre constantly treated like dogshit and even get blamed for the darktail loss#they dont do much with the fact that theyre an isolated clan that can make their own rules
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kinda want to attempt a psuedo rt rewrite like @/084392 or milos from home but idk how or when i could do that
#ive had the idea of azalea/leopold being parallels to gengar/gardevoir for a while#where leopold is sort of blindly kind to a fault and azalea takes a while to actually like him bc shes a bit selfish#(but ofc both would improve throughout the story and form a genuine unbreakable bond)#and gengar like. projects on both of them HARD#hes similar to azalea in personality in that theyre both pretty self serving but at first the difference between them is respect#azalea actually likes being a pokemon more than she’d like to admit bc shes been closer to them than humans her whole life#so has no problem integrating into their society and treating them as equals#while gengar still sees himself as superior to pokemon for being a human and views his teammates as pokemon hes ‘’caught’’#even though that dynamic no longer exists properly in this world. he doesnt view medicham and ekans as his equals in any way#and though he cared about gardevoir a large part of her sacrifice was him not thinking she was ‘’worth’’ saving??? idk#but he gets turned into a pokemon in like a brother bear way bc#of that and he has to learn to treat pokemon better#this is also a broad hc but i imagine the attitude towards humans is different in each game#and in rt there are still some around but the pokemon generally dont trust them#which is part of the fugitive arc. i think the ninetales myth is not really a prophecy#but like a story that got twisted into a myth to justify why humans cant be trusted and scapegoating them for the disasters#which is why everyone turns on azalea so easily. theyre all paranoid and on edge and that broke the dam#echoed voice
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the probably most defining thing that shrike 1 did that made shrike 2 the thing that it was when that character started getting made was the fight where shrike 1 - a person who does not have or fight with a mech, and instead largely uses his own body & a few short range tools like knives - jumped up onto one of the mechs the group was facing off against and started breaking the mech apart with his hands and claws to get to and kill the person inside of it. very central moment for thanatos (shrike 2), the giantkiller
#i use the shrike 1/2 shorthand and not much else to talk about these characters & nobody outside of nc & lulav would have any idea#who either of them are. ummm#shrike 1 is shrike & the ground bled (his real name) - a former soldier who was part of a weird supersoldier program & who#works as a mercenary/assassin after being discharged 4 an injury. no real moral stances beyond#violence is the solution to most problems/flesh is inferior to metal/my allegiance is always for sale#& hes frommm a. 2018-19 technoir game#shrike 2 is from a 21-22ish beam saber game#its technical professional callsign is thanatos#but is called informally both shrike and butcher for its. well. tendency to tear both mechs and people apart#its a giantkiller & is very actually opposed to both mechs and war & sees violence and aggression as largely just a necessary tool#but before it cares about that moral it cares about loyalty. & the people its loyal to are#its superior officer & former team who are very involved in the war.#neither of them really think about themselves as people#but shrike 1 considers himself like. an intelligent machine more than anything else#& like. a wolf.#shrike 2 very firmly believes itself to be a tool & an attack dog. the purpose is to be subservient & be wielded#theyre fun theyre more different iterations on similar concepts than a linear improvement or w/e i just use 1/2 bc of chronologh#personal
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i really like mole because it's like. it's about a lot of things. but one of the biggest parts to me is the paranoia . like. "i know what you want and you know what i want" is already so incredibly damning bc that's not how human interaction works so at least one of these parties is making assumptions. and then just following that line up with "information, information". again its the assumption bc neither party is saying with any clarity what the information is so they could be communicating on totally different wavelengths but there's still just that unspoken level of assumption. you know what i want. i know what you want. we don't need to specify at all. you know. i know.
#sorry im like. hghghhghj. march makes me weird#im also. god. i feel bad because i cannot be normal about this#no longer talking abt the goats btw feel free to ignore if youre not invested in my personal life#but ive figured out whats setting me off and its so strange#bc i thought i got over it. this is a thing of the past. literally nearly a decade ago by this point#there is not a single me that remembers it and those that do are seeing someone else's warped vision of it#but it's. a thing. and it's messing me up. and i can't stop it and it frustrates me#i tried to ask my brain to stop it and they explicitly told me 'you don't get to make that request'.#and like. on monday i thought they were deliberating about what to do but it seems like theyre not or if they are they just wont tell me#and its. sucks. cause i dont like being excluded from conversations in the first place#and then theres people talking about things that im not present for which is a large part of what is freaking me out#(i say large part. i mean a small part interwoven w the rest but i don't know for sure bc i literally don't know)#but theyre just. im not. nobody is telling me anything. and im all alone and im getting paranoid about it. so hence the moleposting#its just frustrating cause some parts are avoidable and others arent#like shes always going to know things we dont know bc thats the basic idea of it#but she doesnt have to lie. about it. and misleading.#i dont want to confront her but i get the feeling that at some point i will not be given a choice which is unfortunate#considering that's likely to be big and loud and public#and i dont like that theyre collaborating without telling us. when the informed consent is sus. but thats gonna stop soon#they said its gonna stop soon and i have no choice but to believe them bc i cant. do anything. if theyre lying#i will say i cant like. speak for all parts but some of them have been sliding me notes under the table so to speak and theyre on my side#so that's something#but i really don't wanna have to explain anything. especially not publicly especially not to her etc etc#aand im getting the headache again so that is a sign to stop. goobaba all i hope tomorrow will be better#post
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are u telling me there are ppl who don't like rise from the ashes not bc of the video tapes or the blue badger vase but bc it expanded on edgeworth as a character and provides a good bridge between his aa1 self & aa2 self ??? explode
#CANT BELIEVE THIS SHIT#cannot trust ppl to have good opinions on whats good in ace attorney at all i guess !!!!!!!!#like yeah the video tape and the fucking vase are AWFUL but that does mean that the rest of the case isnt . good#and specifically the edgeworth part of the case is like. literally arguably the best part of it#(to me the best part is the skye sisters but im biased so-)#but like same fandom that largely went APOLLO JUSTICE IS A BAD GAME when theyre literally so so wrong#sometimes i see ppl be like yeah aa5 & 6 are better than aa4 and IN WHAT WORLD . IS THAT TRUE#im gonna drink apple juice now im so mad#rando thoughtz#its ranty but not as serious as my other rants have been lately#oh btw they argued rfta edgeworth was bad bc it was revealed he didnt Actually forge evidence#so it apparently ruined miles whole character#but it literally doesnt so . shut the hell up?#ogh i have a better way to explain this that im not doing rn but im hungry and want apple juice so i dont have energy to type it
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