#//there's been a lot going on and this will clear things up if anyone is confused as to why I've been so spotty lately or if I've accidental

[rafesbuzzcutseason]

chasing city lights

chapter 11 - flatline

synopsis: you move to new york to start fresh, hoping to find comfort in the city’s atmosphere. that’s when you meet sarah cameron, where she takes you to a concert and you catch sight of the lead band member, rafe cameron. it only takes a moment for you to realize you’re captivated by him. as sarah helps you navigate your new life in the city, you start to get pulled deeper into rafe's world—the music, the fame, the chaos. the more you get to know him, the more you realise that rafe is not just the rock star he seems to be. he’s wrestling with his own demons, and the last thing he needs is someone like you getting close.

masterlist

cw: language

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

after your day with rafe yesterday, the girls had so many questions and you told them everything, down to the song he wrote for you. what you didn't expect however, was that the song was going to be released in a few days time.

"i genuinely can't believe this," sarah started, "i mean him opening up to you? the commincation? the song? where is rafe and what have you done with him." she giggled.

"no y/n i don't think you understand the extent of this. like we've all been friends with rafe for a good 6 years, and i have never seen a girl have this affect on him before."

"guys stop you're making me think i'm some kind of miracle." you laughed with them.

"that's because you are a miracle." cleo joined in.

"so do you think you'll become official soon...?" sarah questioned.

"i don't know, the fans already think we are." you stated.

"the fans are fucking crazy. you'll get used to that i promise. when me and pope started dating everyone went bonkers over it." cleo reassured you.

"i guess so, it's okay i don't mind it, it's just getting used to seeing my face whenever i open twitter." you said. "whatever, we've got a flight to catch." you all finished your last minute packing and made your way into the car that was waiting for you outside the hotel.

part of you was sad to be leaving the state you had made so many memories in, but you knew heading back to new york all together was just the beginning for this new chapter for you and rafe.

once you made it to the airport, you found the rest of the boys who had left earlier as they all entered 'dad mode' and were getting stressed, john b to blame for that.

"finally you're here!" john b began as he saw you walk through the door.

"yeah thought we were gonna have to leave without you." pope said sarcastically.

"enough. we're here now aren't we?" cleo said rhetorically.

"yes ma'am" jj joined in, everyone was in agreement that cleo was the boss of the group.

you made your way to say hi to topper, who was slowly starting to become his usual self again, you assumed him and rafe had a conversation to try and clear the air.

but you eventually made it to rafe, who looked like his was patiently waiting his turn to get your attention, "hey you" he said.

"hey" you replied with a slight blush, "i didn't know you were actually going to release the song." you rushed out.

a look of concern took over him, "do you mind?" he asked worriedly.

"no! no i'm happy" you started, "but the fans are a little crazy."

"yeah i know they are and i should've warned you about that, but the best ones mean no harm and all you can try and do is ignore them." he replied.

"hard to ignore them when they're commenting on everything i post." you quietly said.

"i can say something if it really bothers you, okay?" he softly reached out to give your hand a squeeze.

"okay" you smiled at him, always putting you at ease.

"ok love birds pack it in," jj hollered "i don't think this plane is going to wait for us."

"whatever dude" rafe grinned, "ready?" he turned to you.

"ready."

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

a/n: sorry guys i made this chapter a lot more smau, just as i had the idea to do the thread (which took me ages LAWD) and also wanted to get the song mentioned ! 5 points to anyone who knows the actual song and band🙈

taglist: @hoefordrewstarkey @marleymarleymarleymarley @bee-43 @cherryhoneybabe @skye-44 @drewrry @drewrry  @yesterdaysproblemm @pogueprincesa @dylsdaily @rafeysworldim19 @valyrianflower @kaiparkerwifes @judesgfirl @4urvalidation @chillgal135 @drewstarkeyslover @yesshewrites1@amterasuu@babykhloutofthisworld @blushmimi  @moonywhisp3rs @rafeysworldim19 @marleymarleymarleymarley@sabrina-carpenter-stan-account@vcnillafairy @bambii1i @sammyrenae68 @popou61

[stringofswineteeth]

I wasn't going to respond because I wasn't confident in my previous response so didn't that adding on to whatever response anyone had was going to be helpful, wasn't much to add that would be worth disagreeing with whoever responds, they'd have it handled.

I'm responding because I don't think your addition is worth disagreeing with. But, you said you can't wrap your head around it, so I am going to explain my concerns because I think they're important to understand.

There ARE people impersonating legitimate researchers right now for nefarious purposes. And it's not about it not being the "perfect time" it is about it being outright terrifying time, where I'm not even convinced getting gender related healthcare from verifiable organizations is safe. This isn't something I'd advocate against doing because there's a lot of complexities to personal situations and everyone must take calculated risks.

There's plenty of links I wouldn't trust and risks I wouldn't take that I wouldn't get in the way of others' decisions surrounding, at least without verifying that it is ONLY dangerous.

Basically, I don't think my response should've been what it was, but I also think it is worth considering why I would respond that way. The level of danger related to all things being openly queer, especially getting entered into a database as such, is unprecedented in my lifetime, not just imperfect. On top of that, the people involved are very young, and the economic situation might encourage making rash decisions when money is involved. Also ig worth noting that the dangers of unknown links have only grown.

Again, I think I probably should've minded my own business, especially if I'm not willing to do research into the organization I am concerned about or click links provided. I also think what I was advocating for, hiding, can be damaging because part of the goal is not just to kill us, but also to make those of us who remain invisible, and I hadn't thought through the implications of that.

I'm editing in an addition because I'd rather be done with this, but I am still thinking about it. All the above that I said holds true, but I don't feel right about leaving it there. Yes, we need to be loud and make sure our voices and history is not erased. At the same time, it is extremely important to be aware of the risks you are taking and make your choices very intentionally. If you have investigated this source and have decided they are trustworthy and contributing to their study is important enough that it is worth the risk, absolutely be brave and go forward with that. I don't want your voice erased, I just don't want you to put yourself in danger that isn't balanced out by the good it does. please be extremely careful. I wouldn't feel okay about leaving this up without really making that point clear. Especially under unverified links to the same type of content we KNOW is being imitated by people who wish us harm.

I am not encouraging you to roll over, I am encouraging you to tread extremely carefully while acknowledging that there are some risks worth taking. It is up to you to decide what those are.

Researchers at the Lyda Hill Institute for Human Resilience with the University of Colorado Colorado Springs are recruiting LGBTQ+ teens (ages 15-18) and their caregivers for a study of an online group program.

Parents and teens can EACH earn up to $160 for their participation.

Click the link below to learn more!

[lumdays]

please notice me, prince!! ♡

au by @alli-ily << i've been meaning to join this au for a little while now hehehe

*click for better quality LMAO,,, sorry i have no idea why it's so fucked up but i did transcript the important stuff down here if you want

sir? dame? siyun (aka azul's worst nightmare)

"though they are very capable, they're quite unpopular with nobles as they tend to disobey even direct orders if they figure that there is a more efficient way to do things. they're also a little too honest for high society's taste."

siyun hails from far away lands, practically another world (hehe nod to them being a yuu). it is known that they have two younger siblings and that their parents are both well but it seems that they are no longer in contact.

...ashengrotto despises them (they give him SO many headaches, FREE HIM 🙏🙏)

some more stuff utc,, ARGHHH I BRAINROT OVER AUS LIKE THIS SO FAST💔💔💔 it's the evil manhwa lover in me

ALRIGHT SOOO.... the reason why i keep mentioning azul is because In My Head (please correct me if i'm wrong/you don't want me making up stuff HELPPP i didn't know what to go off aside that there's a bunch of kingdoms and nobles), he was accused/is suspected of embezzlement and siyun was dispatched to monitor him.

...they might as well be the bane of his existence honestly. embezzlement is likely the one crime he has yet to commit but with a highly competent knight keeping a close eye on him, it's gotten a lot harder for him to do anything that is remotely not outstanding-member-of-society material, which pisses him off to no end (...that's kinda just his own assumptions though LMAO, siyun does NOT care that much about the matters of some rich merchant,, unless someone gets hurt that is).

ANYWAYS. this made me think i should probably write down how they feel about lady ariya and prince shin

starting with lady ariya

siyun truly admires her resolve to clear her family's name. but they also can't help but feel something akin pity for her, the path she chose for herself will be long and arduous, especially alone—very few manage to walk out, head held high and pride intact. still, she seems like a promising young lady and siyun is a hopeful person, "i will assist you should you ever call for me."

prince shin (@liyuviq)

humble beginnings, big responsibilities. it's a bit presumptuous, but siyun sort of relates to the illegitimate prince. perhaps not fully—they never experienced Suddenly Being A Royal and sincerely hoped they never would, even in another universe. however, they can relate to the whiplash, the struggle to cram into a few months—no, weeks—everything the other nobles learned over the years, the stares, the whispers... they remember how it all felt, and when they look at their highness shin, they can only hope that they will rise through it all. "then again, i do know i am not your highness. perhaps you don't feel even a fraction of the dread that filled me back then—i would be very glad if so."

i hope i'm not overstepping 👉👈,, aghh also open for interactions for anyone interested hdhdhhdshd, i haven't checked the tag yet HELP

as for the hypothetical target of their affection,,, i fear it may be butler jade 💀💀........... I'M A SUCKER FOR BUTLER X KNIGHT ARCHETYPE 💔💔💔ALSO I BRAINROT OVER YUNDE 2MUCH💔AH AND quick lore rundown

i imagine their knighthood still stands in another empire—or kingdom,,, sorry my knowledge of the world building here is a little vague HDUAJHF. anyway the point is that they are skilled enough for the royal family themselves to take them under their heavy golden wing—until the ashengrotto accusations and they're given bits and pieces of their freedom back.

I'M REALLY SORRY MOOTS THIS IS JUST ME YAPPING ON AND ON..... but like this au's really sick‼️‼️‼️ tags - @heyhellohihowareyou @elenauaurs @distant-velleity @twistedwonderlandshenanigans @skriblee-ksk @sickle-stick @puowei @jadelover69 @tixdixl @nemisisnemi @angelwishess @theleechyskrunkly @chillygourami @bunniehunn @cheerleaderman UUUH DID I FORGET ANYONE.....

[cloverapple]

How To Let Go

First things first; drop the idea that reading this will magically make you shift. If you’re here thinking “Oh, I’ll read this, I’ll let go, and then I’ll shift” stop! right! there! I know you want to shift, I know you want to get your desire, but you are missing the whole point of why you want to let go in the first place!

Second if all; there’s no one way to let go because there’s no one thing you’re letting go of. And that’s where most people trip up. You hear it everywhere:

”Just let go!”

“Release!”

“Detach!”

Like it’s some effortless switch you can flip on command regardless of how your unique mind works 😑

And then when you can’t, you start to feel like a failure, like you cannot accomplish this very basic thing that everyone seems to be doing so effortlessly.

Well my darling, listen to me: this is not your fault. You not being able to let go has nothing to do with how capable you are, how lucky you are, or how “primed” your mind is. None of that.

The mind fixates. That’s what it does. If shifting is a huge desire for you, you don’t just drop it overnight. If your DR is playing on a loop in your head, of course you’re going to latch onto it. If every time you go to bed, you secretly hope to wake up in your DR, your brain is still holding on. And yeah, it sucks. Because suddenly your dedication feels like a burden. You start asking “Why can’t I just let go? What’s wrong with me?”

Been there, felt that.

I’m going to tell you exactly why letting go is something anyone can do, and how you can start immediately—without the mental stress that usually comes with it.

But first, let’s clear something up: Letting go is not a quick fix for shifting. It’s not some miracle pill that guarantees success. For some people, yes, letting go is the missing piece. But for others, the real problem isn’t that they need to let go—it’s that they need trust and patience in themselves. And because they’ve been told that “letting go” is the thing to do, they beat themselves up for not being able to do it. When in reality, they were fine all along.

So first of all, figure out if letting go is what you actually need in your journey. If it's not, and you suddenly remember that you’ve found success while holding on, great! If not, let's move on.

So, what does “letting go” actually mean?

A lot of people hear it and think it means quitting, cutting shifting out of their lives, turning away from their DR, walking away completely. And yeah, that is one way to let go. But it’s not the only way. Let’s break it down the different ways there are to let go:

• Letting go of trying to shift – A.K.A what I talked about in this post. You still think of your DR, you still daydream, maybe you meditate at night with no intention to shift, you go about it like you already have it because you do. Stop it. Stop trying to shift.

• Letting go of expectation – You keep doing your methods, you stick to your routine, but you drop the pressure. No more “when will it happen?” You do it just because you enjoy it. You stop putting a deadline on shifting. You let go of when it will happen and just let it unfold.

• Letting go of your DR – You still shift, but you step back from your DR itself. Maybe you try a different DR for fun, maybe you explore WRs or fun, relaxing realities. You turn your focus elsewhere.

• Letting go of shifting itself – You stay in tune with expanding your awareness, but you do this by focusing on lucid dreaming, astral projection, or any other practice for a while. You take the pressure off shifting entirely by trying something new.

• The ‘fuck this shit’ mentality – You throw your hands up and stop giving a damn. Ironically, this one works better than you’d think.

• Letting go of perfection – You don’t need to do everything perfectly, follow every method flawlessly, or maintain some imagined “high vibrational state” 24/7. Stop striving for an ideal and just exist.

• Letting go of comparison – Stop looking at other people who claim to have shifted and measuring yourself against them. Their journey is not yours, and comparison only fuels frustration. Can you imagine driving your car, on the way to go pick up your brand new sport’s car, but you keep looking out the window because someone in the next lane is already driving a sport’s car?? YOU’RE GOING TO CRASH. EYES ON THE ROAD.

• Letting go of guilt – If you feel bad for not shifting yet, for wanting a break, or for feeling stuck, release that guilt. You don’t owe shifting anything. Shifting is you. You don’t owe yourself anything other than peace, trust and love.

• Letting go of attachment to results – Focus on the process rather than the outcome. Enjoy the journey, the experiences, and the growth that come with it. This is the thing I wish I knew at the very start of my journey, not because it would have made me shift faster, but because in hindsight, there’s so much fun in figuring out what works for you, discovering yourself, and the excitement pre-shifting to your DR.

• Letting go of fear – Fear of failure, fear of missing out, fear of doing something wrong, fear of shifting (which warrants another post in itself). Releasing fear allows for a more open, relaxed mindset.

• Letting go of overthinking and self-doubt – Stop analyzing every little thought, feeling, or experience. Your mind doesn’t need to be in constant problem-solving mode. You already know how to shift. You already have your desire/ your desire will manifest in the 3D. You are a creator. You are the god of your reality. If overthinking and stressing out solved anything, no one in the world would have problems.

• Letting go of rules – There are no strict guidelines for shifting. You don’t have to follow what someone else says. Make your own path.

But how do you actually let go?

When you let go, you do so from one of three places: peace, exhaustion, or indifference. To truly let go, you need to lean into one of these.

1. Peace – If what your mind craves is peace, you let go by accepting that your desires are either already yours or inevitably coming. You trust your ability to create and shift, so you stop chasing and start relaxing. Letting go from this state means stepping back, breathing easy, and knowing there’s nothing more you need to do—just be.

"Oh, easier said than done!" Yeah, that’s why we have the next two.

2. Exhaustion – If you’ve reached the point where you’re just tired, use it. Letting go through exhaustion means recognizing that you physically and mentally can’t keep stressing over this anymore. You’ve burned yourself out, and the only thing left to do is stop. Stop trying so hard, stop overthinking, stop forcing. Let yourself collapse into that exhaustion and let go because you have no energy left to hold on.

3. Indifference – This is the "fuck it" approach. Letting go through indifference means deciding that you simply do not care anymore—about shifting, about waiting, about the whole damn thing. Not in a bitter way, not in a frustrated way, just… whatever. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, you’ll be fine. You’ve got a life to live, and you’re not about to waste it worrying over something that isn’t here yet.

No matter which one you lean into, the result is the same: freedom. You stop gripping so tightly. You stop making shifting feel like a desperate struggle. And in that space—wherever you land—letting go happens naturally.

There’s no right or wrong way to let go

Think of it as a spectrum. You let go at your own pace, in a way that feels right for you. Because here’s the truth—holding onto your DR, staying in the cycle of frustration, it hurts. But it’s also comfortable. It’s familiar. And the mind loves familiarity.

Everyone has something different they need to let go of. For some, it’s their attachment to results. For others, it’s the pressure to be perfect. Maybe it’s the need to control the process or the fear of what happens if they succeed. Letting go isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution/It’s about recognizing what is keeping you stuck and unhappy, and making the conscious choice to release it.

So, instead of forcing yourself to drown in the ocean of your desire, because you thought throwing youself in would force yourself to know how to shift, just grab a floatie. You already know how to swim. You just have to remember, and until you do, relax and let go.

[coraniaid]

I know I keep going on about this, but I really do think that the majority of the Buffy fandom downplays the importance of Buffy's relationship with her mother to, at times, an almost ludicrous extent. Obviously it's not a perfect relationship (if you think Buffy has a perfect relationship with anyone on the show you've really not been paying attention) and indeed at times it's a very strained one, but it's a central part of understanding who Buffy is and why she says and does things that a lot of writing about Buffy on this site just ... pretends isn't there.

There are more or less extreme examples of this -- I saw a "Giles should have adopted Buffy!" post a couple of years ago that didn't even acknowledge that Buffy had a mother who might have objected -- but so much analysis of the show seems not to engage seriously with the thought that Buffy might care about her mother as a person or worry about her mother's opinion of her. And really, the show is very, very clear about this. There are multiple episodes in the high school seasons where the emotional stakes only make sense if you accept that 'demons from hell might end the world' and 'Joyce might think her daughter is getting into trouble at school' are two roughly equivalent problems for Buffy to navigate.

I recently saw a post about Season 5 that listed Joyce's death as just one of several different reasons for Buffy's burgeoning depression that season -- along with Riley leaving and her having to drop out of college -- but .... that's not right, is it? Those aren't three isolated and independent issues at all. All of those factors go back to Buffy's mom. Riley leaves her in Into The Woods because he decided the fact she's too worried about her mom getting sick to spend time humoring his fragile ego means she doesn't really love him. Buffy drops out of college in Tough Love because her mother died and she has to take care of her sister ... which, when you remember that Dawn is explicitly presented as a stand-in for Buffy ("she's more than [my sister]," Buffy tells us in The Gift, "she's me"), can only be read as Buffy dropping out because she has to take care of herself. "Who's going to take care of us?" as she asked Dawn in Forever.

Buffy's depressive spiral in Season 5 happens because her mother dies. There are aggravating factors, sure, but this is surely the heart of it. It's not because her crappy boyfriend left or she suddenly remembered she was a Slayer. It's because her mom gets sick and dies, and Buffy Summers -- who is afraid of hospitals, who blames herself for every death in Sunnydale, who has been trying to protect her mother from the supernatural for years, who hates the very thought of there being problems in the world she can't solve, who loves her mother more than she can say -- doesn't know what to do about it.

"I don't know how to live in the world [...] if everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish my mom was here," she tells Giles in The Gift. It's Buffy who turns to the door to let the shadow of her mother back inside in Forever, and Dawn who has to break the spell that brought her back. In Season 6, Buffy is trapped by a demon in a fantasy world where she was never the Slayer and her mother is still alive, and it's that image of her mother, telling her that she's strong and urging her not to give up which allows her to break free. When Giles comes back to England that season, and offers Buffy a temporary reprieve from all her new financial worries, the highest praise Buffy has for him is that this uncharacteristic generosity on his part is "a little like having Mom back".

There are people in the world Buffy cares about as much as her mother (but not as many as some of you think), and there are perhaps a dozen characters who appear in the show more or get more speaking time than Joyce Summers, and there are certainly lots of characters the writers obviously care much more about as people in their own right. (Like many of you, the writers seem pretty dubious about the idea that middle-aged women could ever be interesting.)

But there is nobody in the world who means more to Buffy than her mother, and I think trying to analyze the show as if there were is going to give you a very strange impression of what's actually going on. Ideas like, well, maybe Giles should have adopted Buffy.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Hi! I've seen a lot of antis saying that lwj using the silencing spell on jin ling (at the dafan mountain) is a form of 'abuse' because apparently it could really hurt him and he has no rights to do so as he is not his guardian. Would love to hear your thoughts on it. (They also made jc a victim here somehow?)

It's just bull shit. They try to use the point that "Lan Wangji is disciplining a child that is not his" and that is disrespectful. Said child had also just stated if the people that had been caught in his traps died by the monsters around Dafan Mountain, that was not his fault. He was willing to endanger strangers for potential profit, and does think this is okay because his Uncle has no respect for others and his helping him to cheat.

He made a child who was saying extremely rude things be quiet. Without doing anything physically cruel, and as stated by Lan Sizhui it would clear up without any extra harm to Jin Ling. And once more we get "Jiang Cheng is not respected". Which yes, that's exactly what it is because why should a privileged man be respected when he dismisses others is cruel and tells his own nephew to be cruel to get what he wants.

Lan Wangji sees no need to suck up to the gentry and has no interest in throwing aside his own morals. The shame of Jin Ling's introduction is that a child is raised with so little care he thinks he can treat others as lesser and bully them.

He gets better because he actually does not want to be anything like Jiang Cheng and does begin to see Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian as his ideal role models. You don't see him running away from anyone but Jiang Cheng and actively chooses to go on Night Hunts that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are a part of and actively is uplifted when he is praised instead of constantly insulted.

The disrespectful figure was never Lan Wangji, and Jin Ling comes to learn that.

[angelfvngss]

*ೃ༄ Thanos Dating HC’s - ANGST !!

Dating Thanos has its challenges, and trying to be his friend is nearly impossible. He’s very guarded, he’s not sure who to trust or who to love these days. He may seem childish and arrogant on the outside but that’s far from the truth.

If you’re lucky enough to see his softer side, you’ll be able to notice he’s got a lot of unresolved problems, most of which are due to other people in his life. Not everything is his own doing; he’s been heavily influenced and hurt by others.

Thanos doesn’t like to cry in front of you. He thinks it makes him look weak, and he doesn’t want you to think he can’t “be a man” — remind him that it’s okay to break down, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to have emotions. Offer him a safe place to talk and he might crack a little.

BE PATIENT. It’s not something he can do within a few days, it will take continuous uncomfortable and vulnerable conversations. He needs time to let his mind feel safe enough to cling to someone.

Love scares him. Despite what many people think, he’s honestly incapable of cheating or physically harming his partner. He may be rude at times, or even cold, but the thought of leaving you for someone else has NEVER crossed his mind. In fact, he’s more worried you will leave him.

Unfortunately arguments are common and frequent until you’ve been with him long enough. For the first year, it’s rough. He’s paranoid. He’s in active addiction. He’s borderline manic and partakes in dangerous behavior every day. Once he’s at the point of wanting to be sober for himself, that’s when your relationship improves immensely.

Thanos will sob in your arms when everything catches up to him. After his mind clears up from being sober for so many months— he realizes all the bridges he had burned for no reason, and he knows he hurt you more than anyone else.

He sobs and begs for forgiveness. He swears to any god above that he will prove his worth to you, and he promises to never hurt you the way he did ever again.

It’s entirely up to you if you accept it or decline it, although he won’t give up easy if you try breaking up with him.

Borderline stalker; he will blow up your phone, come by your house, at your work, literally everywhere you could go, he’s going to be there in hopes he can talk to you. Even if you don’t take him back, he still feels happy (still heartbroken) to see your face and to hear your voice.

Dating him isn’t easy. It’s not the worst, either. It all depends on how both of you react and handle things.

[iguessitsjustme]

When It Rains It Pours Ep 3 & 4 Thoughts

Listen. I am currently at work and not about to watch this show (for at least a few more hours) but I after deciding to wait to watch the next episode and sleeping on it, my little brain wheels started turning and I have some thoughts to get out about the first two episodes before I start the next one. So this time there is more than just a liveblog under the cut:

I wrote that and then immediately had to actually do work. Alas. Anygay

So I was thinking about why the relationship between our boy and his girlfriend felt off to me and I think I puzzled it out. She takes immaculate care of his nails. To the point that other people notice. But his nails are where her care starts and ends. He is initiating all of their conversations basically. She will engage with him but she won't start anything. Except the nail thing. It's why he wants her to be jealous. Because then he will have some sort of proof that she cares. Cause at this point it doesn't feel like she cares about him as a person. She cares about his nails and their appearance because if they look bad that is a poor reflection on her as a girlfriend. But his actual well being and how he feels? She's not present for it. Sure, she'll turn around before she leaves and asks for a hug, but it's so out of character and out of place that our boy doesn't even realize that's what she's asking for at first. He needs to communicate his needs with words, but he has definitely been indirectly communicating his needs and she's not paying attention. Or she is and she doesn't care. And she is not communicating anything either. Their beds have separated to the point there is a table between them. A clear indicator that what they had before is changed. It can easily be moved back to how it was but neither one of them is doing it. No one is even making an attempt. Who put that bedside table there? Because my bet is that it was her. A signal to him that something had changed, but she doesn't have the guts to actually say it. Or even to admit it to herself probably. Anyway I still think she's cheating.

And now I want to talk about Sei and his boyfriend (?). It seems like Sei has made an awful lot of compromises. Does Sei have any say in anything to do with that relationship? How much of himself has he given? Way too much. And I'm not saying his boyfriend (?) needs to compromise on having sex with him if that's not something he wants. But he can compromise on other things. That's what a relationship is. He gets jealous of Sei having someone else to talk to. But Sei can't be in the apartment because of an interviewer coming over. Sei is obviously a homebody but his boyfriend (?) seems to go out a lot. Does he ever make the time to stay home with Sei. Sei has proven he is willing to leave the apartment for his boyfriend (?). So why not invite him to something. Even if it's just the two of them. Why is Sei supposed to give up all of himself and have no control over anything at all?

Okay. That's a lot of words and I haven't even started episode 3. I didn't even mention the plastic umbrellas. Lord jesus.

OKAY. The fact that she TOLD him he has rice on his face instead of removing it for him. Something is not right. She doesn't love him. At least not any more. They don't have any sense of domesticity.

Oh so not boyfriends. Best friends. Okay that tracks. Except the jealousy thing. Also Sei has still given waaaayyyy too much of himself to this dude. He needs to be free to be himself. There's something there about being closeted.

I am watching. I am listening. I am learning. *hyper focuses on arms full of umbrellas*

Man I really wish I had the spoons to talk about the music in this show cause it is phenomenal. Someone remind me this weekend. That is if anyone wants that.

Something something framing. My brain is currently hibernating.

They are about to find out aren't they? God bless.

THEY BOTH EMAILED ABOUT THE STATUE. ARE THEY NOW GONNA LOOK AT EACH OTHER?

God bless.

Episode 4 time? Episode 4 time. (but only if this truck goes away it's shaking my whole apartment.)

Truck is gone. I am free. Episode 4 let me look at ya with my eyeballs

…have I mentioned that I haven't been getting much sleep lately?

Something something going down an escalator. He's going down. Towards hell? Making poor decisions cause he's gonna cheat on his girlfriend? Going to hell because he's going to learn about his attraction to men? And obviously gay people go to hell? I need a shot of those two together going up the escalator or I'm gonna scream.

Oh he's me. This is the literal exact thing I would say to my friend in this situation.

Okay I get it. I get it. I'm gonna be thinking about this scene for a while. The way Sei thought the messages as knew them were over. The way instead he was asked out to dinner. Because both of them need each other. They understand each other in a way no one has understood them before. They see themselves in each other. I'm fine. I'm totally and completely fine. Where are the umbrellas.

Oh the toe.

DID HIS FRIEND DESIGN THE CARD HOLDER? IS THAT WHAT THE SOMETHING IS. Or one of the somethings. Everything is connected.

"When he shows his masculine side it kills the mood" girl WHAT. Are you even attracted to him? Do you even like men? Girl. Be so fucking for real right now.

So I hate both of their partners. The girlfriend and the best friend. They are both keeping these two trapped and I HATE it.

Should I watch episode 5? *looks at the time*

[lolkency]

Swan Song 🩰

┆your dance partner and childhood best friend eren gets jealous during practice so he eats you out in the changing rooms

❥ eren x reader

cw: oral sex, vaginal fingering <3

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

BALLET PRACTICE

You arrived to the dance studio, scanning the people around you, to find your childhood best friend.

A familiar voice called out your name from behind you, it was Eren, who was just arriving to practice. He wore his usual black leggings and a tight black shirt to match. His thigh muscles pulsed with each stride.

"Hey, how was study night?" You asked, a hint of guilt washing over you, since you missed it to go on a date.

“Well you know it wasn't the same without you, so we obviously ended things early" he honked his shoulders.

"Oh my god I swear you guys can't do anything without me, I'm the glue of the group" you sarcastically replied.

Eren rolled his eyes "but seriously, it wasn't the same without that brain of yours", he smirked at his own remark.

"Hm I see what you did there, not funny. Actually it was the most unfunny thing I've heard all morning" you playfully pouted, now walking to your normal stretching spot.

"It's six in the m-"

"Shush" you chuckled, playfully putting your hand over his mouth. "Let's stretch."

You both sat down across from each other, beginning your floor stretches, your legs spread with ease. You hoped your instructor didn't pop in today, since you weren't wearing your leotard. Though she usually expected you to practice without her.

The drive from your date's house was too far to have stopped home, so you opted for the white tank and tights in your car, along with the blush skirt you found in your dance bag.

Eren held his hands out in front of him. You took them, letting him pull you towards him, stretching you out. You stretched down to the floor, your face directly between his legs.

You lifted up and pulled him towards you, his face now between your legs.

Eren had been your best friend since you were assigned to be dance partners for a recital, when you were 5. You bonded so well, that your parents insisted on you both staying partners. Fifteen years later, and you were still dancing together.

"So what happened with you and the mystery dude last night?" He asked, lifting up and moving to his individual stretches.

To others he was a bit too interested in your love life, but you were best friends, you shared everything with each other.

"Uhh where do I even start?" you thought back to the previous night. You gave him every detail of your date, explicit and all, knowing it secretly riled him up.

"Was he good?" he abruptly asked.

"I mean..Of course he was" you shrugged your shoulders, stretching your hands over to your left foot.

"He was a hell of a lot better than I expected him to be when I first met him, you know. Thought I was gonna have to do all the work, I was pleasantly surprised" you added, reminiscing your eventful night.

Eren stood up, stretching his hand out for you to grab it, helping you to your feet.

"He better than me?" his tone darker than before. He pulled you closer to him, beginning your routine.

You braced yourself against him, hands flush against his chest. Guess he wasn't enthusiastic with your words. He wore jealousy so well.

"And if I said he was?" You whispered into his ear, just as he grabbed your hips to lift you into the air. He spun around, holding you above his head.

Swiftly bringing you back down, he briefly let you go, until your bodies intertwined with one another again.

"Then you'd be lying" he scoffed, one of his hands at your hip, as the other glided up your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

You cleared your throat as you both finished up your routine, heading to get a drink of water.

He was right, your date wasn't as good as him, and you didn't think anyone ever would be. But, he only gave you attention when you decided you didn't want him. Eren loved the chase and you...loved being the catch.

You waited until everyone else finished dressing so you could both go into the changing rooms together, like you did most of the time.

In the room, you took off your skirt to change, but noticed Eren hadn't moved to change out of his clothes.

"It just keeps getting bigger by the day...maybe I should help you out with that?" He smirked, grabbing a handful of your ass.

'So it was going to be one of those days' you thought to yourself.

Eren's hands moved down your thighs. "You sure bout this?" You hesitantly asked, knowing the answer. "You know I am " he whispered as he softly bit your ear, before moving down to your neck.

Everyone else should have left by now and you both had around 10 minutes until the next batch of dancers arrived for their session.

Your past sexual experiences with Eren were always at least an hour 'so how the hell would he cum in 10 minutes' you thought to yourself.

"I'm all for a good fuck buddy session, but are you gonna be able to cum in 10 minutes?" You asked, as his tongue continued to lap at your neck, like he always did. His lips latched onto you, teeth sinking into your skin. You let a soft hiss.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing, I'm not tryna cum today, just wanna remind you who's better" Eren slowly got onto his knees, his eyes never leaving yours.

Your hand reached down to caress his cheek beneath you. Leaning into your hold, he grabbed your wrist, kissing the palm of your hand and dropping it at your side.

He didn't even give you a second to think, as he pushed your tights and lace panties down in unison, revealing your wet cunt.

" I'll never get tired of this" he smiled as he began peppering your thigh with kisses. Opening your legs wider to get better access, he left pretty little marks on your inner thighs, marking his territory.

You struggled to compose yourself under his touch with your back against the changing room mirror.

He left trails of kisses up your thighs at an excruciatingly slow pace until he reached your pussy.

"Ready?" He asked, hungrily looking up at you for your answer.

You frantically nodded waiting to be touched by his lips again.

He smiled at your frustration, as he lifted one of your legs, placing it over his broad shoulder. You stumbled a bit, attempting to hold your balance.

His hand wrapped around your thigh, keeping you in place. He opened his mouth, sticking out his tongue, sliding it in between your soaked lips.

Your legs trembled at the contact, as he sucked on your painfully throbbing clit, begging for attention. You let out a sigh, attempting compose yourself against the mirror.

Eren hungrily devoured you. He sucked your throbbing clit, lapping up anything that escaped.

Dipping his tongue inside you, he licked down from your ass, up until he latched back on your clit. He moaned against the sensitive bud, coaxing your hand to grab his hair.

His grip on your thigh grew tighter, his fingers now digging into your skin. "Mmm fuck Eren" you moaned.

You could feel his lips form into a smirk against you, releasing your clit with a 'pop'.

He moved his other hand up to your cunt, two fingers entering you. They moved in a beckoning motion, pressing against your sweet spot.

His lips attached to your pussy once again, lapping at you, hungrily, greedily. Your mind in a haze, you pulled his hair, ripping it from its bun. Eren groaned against you, the vibration sending pleasure through your core.

"Fuck" you moaned, beginning to grind against his face. Your grip on his hair tight, pressing him against you, using him to your advantage.

His fingers continued pumping into you as you fucked his face. "I'm gonna c-" before you could announce your climax, Eren ripped his face away from you, his fingers still knuckles deep inside you.

"Say it, say I'm better" he commanded, glancing up at you, his face flushed, wet with...you.

It was times like this, you wished you had photographic memory, the ability to capture this moment forever. You sighed, attempting to catch your breath.

"Yes, you're better, you always have been, and you always will be. Now pl-"

He swiftly took his fingers out of you, lifting your other leg over his shoulder. Your hands immediately attached to his head for balance.

His tongue swiped between your lips, teasingly, before his lips latched around your clit...again. Your fingers tangled into his hair, digging into his scalp.

Eren lapped at your pussy, pleasure building up once again, coaxing your climax.

Feeling the knot in your stomach, you knew you were going to cum all over your childhood best friend's face . You pushed his head further down into your cunt.

Tightening his hold on your thighs, Eren aggressively sucked and slurped every drop of you.

You let out a cry, feeling that knot unravel, still grinding against his face, coming down from your high. "Nobody like you" you shakily praised him, as he lifted one leg, then the other off his shoulders.

"I know, just needed to remind you" he took his clothes off, changing out of his practice clothes.

You could see that he was rock hard. He noticed you staring "We don't have time right now, you can repay me another time" he smirked, as he finished changing.

You did the same and put on your clothes, noting to shower as soon as you got home.

Ending your session right on time, you heard the next batch of dancers enter the changing rooms. You both finished freshening up before you left out and headed outside.

✎first fic on here kinda nervy lol, hope you enjoyed!

-ciara💻

[luiluvr]

ok disclaimer this request is based off tiktok comments which we don't know are true 😭 but you and college!luigi are part of the same friend group and you all go on a camping trip together, you *thought* you'd be sharing a tent with one of your best girl friends but turns out she's brought her bf last minute leaving you without one so you tent up with luigi. but that. mother. FUCKER!! cannot stop snoring and you can't fall asleep at all so eventually you wake him up and are like bro please 😭 but he's so sweet about it and a lil embarrassed and offers to stay up while you fall asleep so he doesn't bug you cause he's a cutie

oh boy oh boy i have been ACHING to write something about his snoring ☹️☹️

WARNINGS: none! just lu being sweet to you and snoring.. a lot, and uses of Y/N.. this is also shorter i'm working on another request that'll be longer <333

“Should I kill her now or later?” You thought, as your best friend broke news you both would not be sharing a tent. When this camping trip was planned, you specifically wanted to share a tent with her. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing, it was the fact you had always shared a tent with her in the past — so you were naturally used to her presence when your friend group had these little trips. That was a lost cause now. Unbeknownst to you, she invited her boyfriend last minute and decided they would be sharing a tent.

You stare at her blankly as her boyfriend smiles, “So…What am I supposed to do?” You ask her.

“Uhh, I don’t know.” She says quietly, clearly she didn’t think it through either. It was a few minutes of silence before her boyfriend spoke up and responded, “Luigi’s not sharing a tent with anyone. you may ask him. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind it.”

Luigi Mangione. One of the more loved people at college, you had ended up in a bigger friend group with him; so you knew him but only so much. He was a typical person that all the girls were always crushing on, sneaking pictures of, there was even a rumored group chat where they’d talk and send pictures of him. Sure, he was handsome but was it that serious?

You nod. Luigi was a really nice person, so you didn’t doubt he would tell you no. It’s the fact your best friend should’ve mentioned it two hours ago when you all originally left for the trip. “Alright.” You said quietly, by now everyone was arranging their tents and Luigi — he was busy watching the stream. He always enjoyed the little things and admired nature. He was- from what you knew- fairly shy. For someone always so out there, so smart and always up for going places besides campus; he was incredibly introverted.

He had plenty of friends, but he never bonded on a deep level, you knew that much from other people who knew him better.

You shove your hands in your pocket and sigh, walking over to him, smiling awkwardly as you watch the current rush and wash over the rocks inside. Occasionally a small fish would wiggle and swim in the crystal colored waters. You clear your throat and speak up finally, “Hey, Luigi?”

His head turns — his jawline dotted with stubble, and a warm smile welcomes you. “Hey, Y/N, what’s up?” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t get caught up in his gaze, his hazel eyes are so entrancing. You can’t help but look away as you ask, “Would you be alright if I stay in your tent? Riri brought her boyfriend and decided at the last minute to tell me they’re bunking together so I don’t have anywhere to sleep now.” He chuckles, nodding to you. “Yeah, of course. I don’t mind.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, “Thank you so much, Luigi.”

“Of course.”

You and your friends spent most of the afternoon setting up, you’d spend the rest of the weekend hiking, exploring and enjoying each other’s company. Luigi had taken your sleeping bag and set up the inside of the tent, he didn’t make you do anything, you were “his” guest—as he put it.

By evening, the campfire was lit, lighting up the smiles of your friends; the mix of conversation and laughs filled the air. You sat comfortably on your favorite lawn chair, a maroon rackety-old thing that held up like a warrior. Luigi moved closer beside you, quietly and shimmied comfortably in his chair.

“Oh yeah, Y/N, heads up, Luigi snores a lot, so good luck.” You tilt your head, Luigi? Snores? You highly doubted that. But oh, was Riri’s boyfriend right.

Before you initially got in the tent, you had spent a few minutes talking to your other friends about things you all may do tomorrow, you heard some noises but passed it off. That was, until you climbed into the tent, Luigi was already passed out, softly snoring. It’s not that bad. You thought. It was rather chilly, but he still slept shirtless, comfortably curled up in the sleeping bag. His curls were the only sight from this angle.

You got comfortable in your own sleeping bag and exhaled, relieved to finally get to rest after the long trip. Inevitably, as your eyes began to flutter shut, Luigi let out this snore. It scared you back awake. You realized it was just him; and nothing of actual worry — you slightly peered over at him, although the tent was dark, the tiny bits of moonlight that managed its way through freckled his calm, handsome complexion.

He had stopped for the moment, so you assume he only does it every so often and you could stand sleeping with his snores beside you.

Alas, you huddled down, zipped the sleeping bag and nuzzled into the soft cushioning. Your eyes closed, body relaxed. The quiet buzzes of nature make it feel more realistic and comforting.

Then he snored.

It wasn’t that bad, so you let him snore on; and continued to try and pursue slumber, but as the night progressed, it got deeper and louder. You had managed to fall asleep but were woken right away by his snores, it was honestly annoying but simultaneously endearing. He was so sweet you couldn’t be mad at him for it, though anyone else you would have woken and told to go sleep somewhere else — it was different with Lu.

After some time though, you realized how late it had gotten, almost 4AM, you needed to sleep or you wouldn’t want to do anything tomorrow with the group. Gently, you grasp his shoulder and shake him. It only elicits a bigger snore, and a flinch from yourself. You give it a moment, not wanting to scare him awake.

“Luigi.” You whispered, nudging him a little harder this time. He groans, shifting ever so slightly and slowly coming to.

“Y/N?” His tone was so sleepy, mumbled and kind of cute.

“Hey…I’m not trying to be rude, but you’re snoring a lot.” You chuckle, quietly.

“I’m so sorry,” He says as he sits up, his muscles flexed as he stretched a bit. “I know I snore pretty roughly, my older sister hated sharing a room with me when we were younger.”

You can’t help but laugh a little, “I get it, I didn’t want to seem like an asshole about it or act like it’s a world-ending thing that you’re snoring…”

“No, no. You’re fine Y/N, thanks for waking me up. I had a lot of signs of sleep apnea when I was younger, I struggled with it for a while. When I snore all night it makes my throat hurt.” He states, rubbing his arm. You nod, he was too nice about it. Whenever you confronted a sibling or roommate about snoring they told you to ignore it or get earplugs. Not Luigi.

“How about this,” He says, staying quiet so as to not wake everyone sleeping in the tents beside yours. “I’ll stay awake until you fall asleep and you’re good — then I’ll go back to sleep too so I won’t disturb you. Is that okay?”

He was offering such a sweet little thing, it wasn’t that big of a deal but for you it meant everything.

You agreed, it seemed the only logical conclusion and he was willing to lack his own sleep just so you could rest comfortably without his snoring. “That’s really nice of you, Luigi, thank you.”

“Of course.” Even in the dim light, his smile lines carved and dimples became more prominent, somehow his face lit the darkness alone.

And that’s exactly what you did, he shared a blanket he brought, covered you and as you tucked yourself in, he stayed sitting up and relaxed, he wouldn’t admit it but he did watch you for a bit just to make sure you were comfortable and you were able to fall asleep — which you were; and you did.

The next morning — almost afternoon, the group was buzzing as they snacked on granola bars and sipped on water or coffee they kept in thermal cups. Luigi had exchanged into a blue tank top with a Lion King reference on the front and those lousy basketball shorts all the boys seemed to enjoy wearing, despite them looking goofy.

As you managed around, got changed in your tent for a day of exploring and probable hiking, Lu approached you with a sly smile.

“Good morning.” He hums.

“Morning, Luigi.” You replied.

“Did you sleep well last night?”

“Yes, I actually did. Thank you, again by the way.” You said cheerfully.

“Yeah, it’s no problem! I guess that’ll be our routine while we’re tenting up together.” He laughs, leaning against a small tree nearby.

“Suppose so.” You nod.

“Oh and by the way, Y/N?”

“Yes, Luigi?”

“You snore. A lot.”

[kimmi-never-dies]

Yandere!Hyun-Ju x fem!reader head canons

(A/N): I know the poll is still up and is likely gonna change when I'm in the process of finishing this up but I had time now and this prompt was in the lead so I just decided this is what I'm writing.

TW: yandere, obsessive behavior, mentions of but never graphic violence, mentions of stalking and implied kidnapping, drugging.

Her behavior:

Again, she’s definitely a hopeless romantic, Hyun-Ju seems like the type to crave intimacy, affection, and all the other cheesy romance things, but never knows how to ask for it.

And adding that, along with the fact that society practically turned its back on her the second she wanted to openly be the woman she was on the inside, kinda turned her into an obsessive, clingy person.

She doesn’t mean to be this way, she’s just scared of being abandoned again.

Hyun-Ju never thought she’d end up becoming so infatuated with someone, but when you entered her life, everything changed.

You were so different from everyone else, you accepted her, you were so understanding and gentle…

She needed you more than life itself…you were a lifeline for her.

I kinda see Hyun-Ju being two sub-types of yandere, delusional and dependent.

She’d definitely disguise most of her delusions as jokes, for example:

“What do you mean you’re going on a date? But you’re my wife! You can’t be unfaithful!”

But her dependency is very clear, but dependency can be easily explained by abandonment issues, so you’d never guess it was really because she was practically addicted to you.

But she really can’t help it! After the games…after all the people she’d lost…she needed to keep you safe, she needed you to stay.

Dealing with rivals:

Definitely a jealous type, literally wants to scream, cry, and physically rip you away from anyone who’s not her.

Hyun-Ju doesn’t wanna share your attention, you should only focus on her!

HYUN-JU WAS A SARGENT IN THE SPECIAL FORCES

She is SCARY.

If she did happen to somehow gain a romantic rival she’d first stalk them online until she’s figured out everything about them.

She’s gotten a lot of people cut off from your life by digging up old tweets…

But if that doesn’t work, she isn’t above getting her hands dirty…

I don’t think Hyun-Ju could actually bring herself to just straight up murder someone, I know she went crazy on those guards but ACTUAL murder I don’t think so.

But she’s definitely not afraid to follow someone home and beat the ever-loving shit out of them as a warning.

Confessing to her darling:

There’s two ways this could go, and it really depends on you: Tonight was *finally* the night, Hyun-Ju was gonna tell (Y/n) how she felt about her! Everything was prepped and ready, she decorated her apartment with fairy lights, lit a couple of (Y/n)’s favorite scented candles, and made dinner. Hyun-Ju was now just getting dressed and awaiting her sweet-girls arrival.

She was dressed up in a beautiful forest-green dress with a gold necklace with an (your first initial) shaped pendent, which she got a while ago, playing it off as “there were no H’s and it made me think of you.” Her makeup was also simple, her signature brown winged liner, some mascara, and a bit of red tinted-gloss

The silence of Hyun-Ju’s apartment was suddenly interrupted by a knocking at the door.

‘She’s here!’ Hyun-Ju thought to herself excitedly as she rushed to open the door.

She could’ve fallen to her knee and proposed right then and there…

(Y/n) was stunning…her dress/suit hugging her body in all the right ways, and her hair was done perfectly, just like always…

-a few hours later-

After a while of eating dinner and watching some stupid comedy movie, Hyun-Ju finally worked up her courage and turned to face (Y/n). Her hands were shaking as she paused the tv, looking into her (e/c) eyes with nothing but love and a small twinge go something…darker…

“Sweet girl…I know we’ve been good friends for such a long time but…over these past few years I’ve wanted something more, I love you, and I wanna be your wife one day…so with that being said, please…will you be my girlfriend…?”

You sat shocked for a few minutes before responding to her, you couldn’t help but notice the desperate yet hopeful look on her face.

“Oh Hyun-Ju…”

Yes

"I'd love to..."

did she hear that right?

yes??

she would grin from ear to ear, pull you close as gently as she could, and kiss you.

this first kiss and every kiss after that would be full of love, passion, and happiness, masking the obsessive and violent feelings that got here to this moment, here with you...

And she was never letting you go...

No

"I'm sorry...I don't feel the same...but I'd love to still be your friend."

friend?

FRIEND??

all of this, following you everywhere, taking all those pictures of you, fighting off rivals left and right, only for you to wanna be FRIENDS!?

Hyun-Ju was NOT accepting this, but luckily she already had a backup plan.

struggling didn't help much when she lunged at you, pinning you to the ground effortlessly as she pulled something out of her dress pocket.

and once you felt that prick in your neck, and the sedative hit, you didn't struggle at all.

don't be scared sweet girl, she won't hurt you.

she'll make sure no one can hurt you...or even find you again...

[nahisummerhold]

Emotional Lock Down

Daily Writing Challenge

February 2025

Day Two - Cage

“So your new house is coming together,” Jamis said she had been telling him about it since she got it. The towering ex-Argent healer and therapist continued, “Are you glad you bought it? 

Nahi hadn’t seen him since they went on leave, but she was experiencing a lot recently and no longer knew exactly who to talk to. Or even what it was that she felt she needed to share… that was it wasn’t it? She felt she couldn’t share with almost anyone…. Nahi smiled and nodded, noticing a fleck of paint on her nail, she thought she got all of it off. Maybe a new scrub for her shower or a nail brush.

Jamis cleared his throat, “The house?”

Blinking up at him, “Hmm? Oh yes! It is not much but I love it and I don’t need much space anyway. It is really lovely, I have been making some changes to make it more me.”

Picking up a mug of kava and nudging another at Nahi, they were in a little place up on a hill in Dornagal where there was as much privacy as they could find in neutral ground. Stone chairs were not very comfortable, but talking with him was never comfortable but that was the nature of the work she was doing, “Your messages have been coming more often lately. Going to guess it  is not the house troubling you.” 

“Well,” a dark hand reached out to tug the handle of her mug to her, then she used a single finger to push the mug by the handle in a circle on the table, “there are a lot of changes lately in my life.” He said nothing, just waiting for her to talk about why she wanted to meet, not just text. “I met with Iren.” That night bothered her more than just introducing one of her lovers to her step-father, the meeting she needed to deal with, but that wasn’t something she needed his help with, handling Je’champe would be done on her own.

His hand came up and rubbed his beard, “Tell me how that went.”

Uncrossing and recrossing her legs at her ankles, her proper posture a habit, “It was great, I was going to tell him about the house, that I was going to live in the city when I didn’t have gigs.”

“But not that you are part of the company,” he said, guessing that caveat. 

“No,” she said, it was one of the things she hadn't done that Jamis suggested. “He has enough to worry about with my mother, he said she is fading more.”

Jamis took a drink and looked into her eyes, her legs bounced nervously, and then she went on, “I don’t want him to worry more, maybe after…”

“After your mother dies.” He finished, “You know her death will not undo all the fucked up shit she put in your head right? It might even get worse. What happens when she dies and you have complicated feelings about it. Will you just lock those away in that place with your other emotions?”

She looked at him, aghast, a trembling started in her shoulders, and her lips parted, tears filled the inner corners of her eyes, picking up the purple in the reflection as well as some gold from the candle on the table. A defiant tip of her chin drew her head up, her bottom lip shook, then she took a deep breath through her nose and every sign of her impending breakdown locked away. 

“Just… like… that…” he stated. “Nahi, you need to fix this, you need to unlock your emotions, it is alright to be mad, sad, happy, enraged, despondent, ecstasy, fear, surprise. Any of the thousands of emotions we feel on a regular basis.” He let his words of permission sit so that maybe they would take root, “You have them, I have seen them in your eyes, in the things we talk about, you just don’t trust letting anyone see them.”

Nahilvi took a shuddering breath, “I show emotion, they are not all locked away. I am making friends, letting people close.”

He looked her over, more than a hint of interest in his gaze, letting her continue as he took a drink of the hot liquid. 

“Have even been getting to know people inside of the company,” she said, with a hint of ‘I am doing it ok!’ To her tone,

“Of all the people in the company, who would you consider as a friend?” He asked her. 

The first was an easy answer, “Tinn, maybe Fio, they know more about me except Nara, but she is different.” After that she hesitated. “I like others too, but I have trouble defining connections with them.”

Jamis nodded, “What about these people outside the company?”

“There are the Commanders of the guard, Kelz’thalas B’andtherion and Allasticus B’andtherion, I like them and have had both over to the house. Lynesse, who you know, I have been working in the Shielded Mind with her training me. There is a man that knows some people in the company, you might even know him, Sol Cindersong and some people Naralinthe knows around the city.” She was rattling off names quickly but after the first few some of the warmth in her tone faded a bit.

“Very nice little list, did you just rattle off most of the people you know in the city now?” He watched her lower her eyes, “In some ways you are much younger than your years, Nahilvi.”

That drew a scowl and harsh huff, “I am fucking tired of that thought.”

A smile curved his lips, “Others have said something? Well, you are older than many in some ways too, just ways you choose not to show. Now that list? I am going to guess that you haven’t really spent meaningful time with any of them.”

 “Tinn has come over and we have chatted, so have the B’andtherions, I still spend time with others in the city, always nice to see those in the company, and the volunteering at the clinic a couple times a week.” Nahi rattled off the information for him like they were accomplishments on a resume, a resume of being an emotionally open person.

Jamis held up a hand, “Quite an accomplishment letting people into your space, that is a good step,” truth hung in his words, he wasn’t patronizing her.“Before we meet again, which I would recommend next week because I really need to get out of the house, the kids are driving me crazy. “A bright grin could be seen through the heavy beard.  “I want you to do something, now that you feel you are making actual friends, not just acquaintances, I want you to write down things that are personal that you have told them, and consider what the word ‘friend’ means to you. You spend a lot of time with certain people but I do not hear you call them friends, so show me what emotional openness you use to connect to the ones you call friends.” 

“Homework, why is it always homework with you?” Nahi said, letting the tension she was still holding go with a joke. 

Jamis just looked at her, not amused, her humor didn’t often hit with him either. “Because you work daily to change, not just when we are together.”

(Tags for baby mentions

@kharrisdawndancer @fio-renze @themadamelioness @kelzthalasbandtherion @allasticus @gloamingdawn @solstryce )

@daily-writing-challenge

[neversetyoufree]

Too socially anxious to interact with anyone on my actual account (it’s a problem), but I just wanted to say I love your blog! I’ve been obsessed with VNC for about a year by now, and I get really lonely sometimes cause I feel like while it’s not exactly unpopular, people tend to treat it like a “side fandom” if that makes any sense? Like, they enjoy it but don’t really engage with it past surface level. It’s especially hard as an Astolfo fan, because I think I can count the amount of people who don’t completely mischaracterize him on one hand (but I digress).

Complaining aside, it’s so refreshing to read your posts! They’re always very thoughtful and well written, and I owe a good portion of my understanding of the series to your writing. I’m not sure if you’ve posted anything about this before, but I was curious about your predictions for who will die by the end of the series. I’ve thought a lot about it because people always say Mochijun is pretty brutal, but to be honest, besides Vanitas and maybe Roland I have no idea who’s going to live or die. I’d love to hear your thoughts if you have the time! ^^

Ah, thank you so much!! It's incredibly gratifying to hear that you feel like you've gained some extra understanding of VnC by reading my posts. Don't sell your own analyses short! But this series has so much interesting stuff going on in it, and it brings me endless joy to think I've helped nudge others into appreciating all that.

As far as upcoming deaths go, having read Pandora Hearts and Crimson Shell, I'll second the take that Mochijun is pretty merciless when it comes to killing off characters. I honestly don't think anyone is safe except for Noé, and Noé is only safe since 1. he's the narrator, and 2. outliving the others is much more painful for Mr. Savior Complex than dying would be.

Vanitas is the obvious given death-wise, and I'll second you about Roland, given how things end up for his namesake in The Song of Roland. There's good odds of Olivier also dying for the same reason, since his namesake dies in The Song of Roland. I can also envision a potential plotline where, when Roland or Olivier dies, whichever one outlives the other betrays the church (esp since this was foreshadowed with that bit about Olivier threatening to leave when Roland was hurt pre-canon).

I'm also, unfortunately, not super optimistic for my girls Jeanne and Dominique. Jeanne, like Rolivier, is named after a historical figure who very famously died young. She also carries around a giant coffin wherever she goes, and that coffin contains a weapon named "Carpe Diem." The context of that name makes pretty clear that it's evoking the full version of the phrase—carpe diem quam minimum credula postero—which is a reference to living life to the fullest because you don't know if you'll live to see tomorrow. So, in the same way that Vanitas's already-run-out hourglass earring is a symbolic death flag, Carpe Diem and its case feel like potential death flags for Jeanne.

In terms of Domi, her fate is less sealed than Jeanne's, but something deep inside me is scared for her nonetheless. I think it's partially because she's featured in the "all we gained and lost" section of Noé's closing monologue from mémoire 1. She's on the "gained" panel, but still, it makes me uneasy. She's also suicidal and written as a parallel to Vanitas, which is never a good sign for the likelihood of a character's survival.

Riche is also named after a character who is very famously dead in her source material (Beatrice Portinari from the Divine Comedy). If we run with the same logic applied to Rolivier and Jeanne, that doesn't look good for her. I don't want her to die (I love her v much, and I also don't want her to be even more sidelined compared to Dante and Johann than she's been thus far), but I also feel like it's unlikely that all three dhampirs are making it out of this series unscathed.

In terms of characters I think won't die, Chloé already had her big scene of choosing to live on despite life's hardships, and I fear her imminent death would cheapen that a bit, so I think the odds for her and Jean-Jacques surviving are relatively good.

Other than that, who knows! Besides Vanitas and Noé, these are all just wild estimates. Maybe the whole cast will die except Noé, or maybe everyone but Vanitas will live. You mentioned Astolfo, and I can envision him living or dying by the end, depending on how kind Mochijun decides to be. Absolutely anything could happen.

[sturniololuvz]

Could you do a fix where Nate and the sturniolos sister have been going out for a while but haven’t put a label on anything and before Nate asks he talks to her brothers about it almost like asking their permission? It could go either way you want it either good or bad

okayy!!!

“Defining Us”

Sturniolos x nate/sister

Warnings : none

Nate had been sitting in the Sturniolos’ living room for a while, nervously bouncing his leg while pretending to watch whatever was playing on the TV. He wasn’t paying attention. His mind was too occupied with the conversation he was about to have.

Nick, Matt, and Chris were all in the room with him, joking around, completely oblivious to the fact that Nate’s stomach was in knots. He had been close with them for years—practically family at this point—but this talk felt different.

Finally, he took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “Hey, uh… can I talk to you guys about something?”

Chris, the first to notice Nate’s uneasiness, raised an eyebrow. “Dude, you good?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nate reassured quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just… about Y/N.”

At that, all three of them snapped to attention. Their sister had been hanging out with Nate for months now, and while they obviously noticed, no one had outright asked what was going on between them.

“What about her?” Nick asked, his tone neutral, but his protective instincts were definitely kicking in.

Nate hesitated. “We’ve been… I mean, I don’t know what to call it, but we’ve been together for a while now. And I really like her—a lot. I just haven’t put a label on it because I didn’t want to rush her or make things weird.”

Matt crossed his arms. “So, what are you trying to say?”

“I wanna make it official,” Nate admitted. “I want to be her boyfriend. But before I do, I wanted to talk to you guys first… you know, out of respect.”

The room was silent for a moment. Nate couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.

Then Chris broke it. “So let me get this straight… You’ve been seeing our sister, but you’re just now asking us about it?”

“Okay, yeah, when you say it like that, it sounds bad,” Nate said quickly. “But I didn’t hide it. You guys knew we were close.”

Nick sighed, rubbing his face. “I mean, we figured something was going on, but… I don’t know, man. It’s just weird.”

Matt leaned forward. “Look, we trust you. If it were anyone else, we’d probably lose our minds, but it’s you. Just… don’t screw this up.”

Chris nodded. “Yeah, because if you hurt her, we’re not just your friends anymore. We’re her brothers first.”

Nate swallowed but nodded firmly. “I’d never hurt her. I swear.”

Nick studied him for a moment before finally sighing. “Alright. Go ask her out before she gets tired of waiting for you.”

A grin spread across Nate’s face as relief flooded through him. “Thanks, guys. Seriously.”

As he left the room, Chris shook his head. “I still don’t like it.”

“Yeah, but at least it’s Nate,” Matt said. “Could’ve been worse.”

Nick just smirked. “Still doesn’t mean we’re gonna make it easy on him.”

Little did Nate know, his biggest challenge wasn’t asking Y/N out—it was dealing with her brothers afterward.

[notmoreflippingelves]

[gifti3]

is asmo the only person in the game with skin issues??

is he just unlucky or is everyone else in the game not as obsessed over super clear skin and dont worry too much when acne happens?