#//i also have a scene with Martyr but i'm not happy enough with it to post it loll

[keeps-ache]

and ANOTHER !!

[sevicia]

Watched Hellraiser 2022 with my sister over lunch and :( I'm so sad I really didn't like it almost at all. She thinks it's a really good movie though and after it ended we watched reviews of it (lol), a positive one and a more negative one and while I guess I could like, see? the points the girl from the positive review was making I just didn't find any of it impressive or super eye-catching, and she kept mentioning how this remake has super well laid-out and explicit lore re: the cenobites and how she really likes that instead of the vagueness of the original, but I seriously could never disagree more? The cenobites are alluring and intimidating because you'll DIE wondering. They're otherwordly and unfeeling to the point I could never call them villains, just merciless deliverers of their gifts...

BUUUT the girl from the 2nd review had apparently rummaged around my brain and taken it all out it was CRAZY

Like as the movie went on I kept thinking about how thoroughly UNsexy the remake is, it drove me INSANE. It's THE goopy gory sexy horror movie and this version had 0 goop, mildly unsatisfying gore, and felt incredibly tame sexually. No joke I was thinking WHERE'S THE SEX!!!!! for most of the movie

I don't have any sort of attachment to any other horror franchises so I've never been let down by a remake like this and I always thought that I'd be able to see all remakes as just another view to an established story, but it turns out I DRASTICALLY underestimated how much Hellraiser means to me.

The cenobite designs were cool and very beautiful visually, but I seriously missed the leather SOOO much.... this was also such a confusing let down for me

I will always be insane about gore but in this case it was just not gory enough? Even though the body horror related aspects were (once again) beautifully done, only a few of them felt visceral enough to be satisfying.

Towards the end where that one guy is becoming like, a cenobite-ling(?) and is getting his body peeled here and there and there and there I just really wanted to see him bleed more and scream with MORE anguish and writhe and cry. It was just not enough for me. There's also the fact that that scene in particular felt visually similar to the ending of Martyrs (also one of my favorite movies of all time), so it was just a complete letdown.

There's also the fact that I found none of the characters particularly interesting, which is crazy because I love Terrifier and that one's notorious for lack of character depth. But in Terrifier you had Brooke and Tara being silly friends together!!! There was not a single time I can think of where the characters in Hellraiser '22 had any sort of... joy? displayed between them. I don't need there to be super wholesome happy and clean relationships, I do, in fact, prefer the opposite when it comes to horror, but weren't these guys supposed to be friends? It just felt like they didn't even particularly like each other.

It also makes me think of how they handled (or rather Didn't handle) Riley's struggles as an addict. Of COURSE it's gonna raise tensions with the people who care for her! It's not an easy situation/topic to navigate, ever, but after one point it just felt irrelevant to the story when I feel they could've explored it in an interesting way that also aligns with the themes of temptation we see in the original. Frank went to such an extreme place while looking for sexual pleasure after all!?! I would've loved to see Riley struggle more explicitly with addiction, have more involved relationships with the other characters, have the cenobites use her addiction against her as a way to tempt her, and ALSO make the surreal aspects of '22 feel SO much weirder and anxiety-inducing!!

But in the end the most massive and shocking letdown is, once again, the lack of eroticism within the film. I want it to be scandalous! I want to feel thrilled! I want to look at the cenobites and be able to imagine what it'd be like to grab and twist and poke at their exposed flesh and bone and every sharp edge I could possibly reach! I want to look at gore and feel the way meat and guts and blood run through hands, wet and slimy and soft and red and disgusting, I want to think of a body's warm insides becoming colder as I hold them! There was no grime in this movie at all, and the gory scenes felt like they were only half-done!! I want to see it all, but the fact there was unreached potential will ALWAYS be so much more frustrating than just cutting it out entirely.

It was just not remotely what I wanted from a new Hellraiser movie, because it's an entirely different focus!! x( but its story couldn't have been told without the presence of the cenobites and the puzzle box, so ????

[honeycreammilkshake]

I'm sorry, call me cruel, but I'm happy the toxic gojo stans got their karma. Sukuna got a happy ending and a potential continuation while gojo didn't even get a funeral. Good. They are also coping with KENJAKU IS MUCH BETTER AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE MAIN VILLAIN sure thing, that's why nobody cared about his whole culling games scenes, his fights and how convenient that Gojo needs to be the one killing Sukuna (for being such a shitty villain, you sure want Gojo to fight him, and not kenjaku) and not yuji

yeah, anon, i get you completely.

it's clear sukuna is far more threatening of a villain. not just for his power level, but also because he's quite cunning, too. maybe not a mastermind like kenjaku was, but sukuna can hold his own and make intelligent moves as well. which is why he won against gojo: he didn't use pure strength alone, he was smart enough to learn from mahoraga in order to use cleave to Infinity itself, and thus kill gojo as well. fans were calling this unfair and saying gojo was the clear winner and gege just wanted to kill gojo off. but i think that isn't truly the case. gojo lost because sukuna had a plan. he learned new things. he adapted. gojo doesn't. for all intents and purposes, gojo relies almost purely on his strength and had too much confidence in it, unlike sukuna who knew he needed to compensate by not being at his full power and saw opportunity with megumi's ten shadows technique.

however, people are only obsessed with gojo vs sukuna because they look at it only as a battle of inherent strength. they fail to see how strategy and opportunity also come into play during a battle. they all wanted gojo to win because, to them, he loses value for not being the strongest. which, i don't mean to be cruel, but that's a terrible way to treat a character you claim to love so much: by only reducing him down to being "the strongest who can never lose" you actually take away so much more from him, such as his vulnerabilities, his flaws, his weaknesses. they don't want him to show weakness at all, unless it's for geto/kenjaku, and i find that boring. a character without weaknesses is often a badly written one who might even hurt the story, and that's what i think gojo would have done if he'd won.

he lost to sukuna, it was fair and needed in my opinion. gojo was a great character precisely because he served the martyr role and was an inspiration for the trio and the rest of the new generation to change the jujutsu world. (though we don't see too much of that change yet.) putting gojo at the center of everything, instead of yuuji (who actually serves as much more complex and fascinating character, imo) just ruins the overall story. and everybody who hated how gojo didn't get a funeral: hardly anybody else did either! not nanami, not choso, not junpei, not even yuuji when he first "died." this is the jujutsu world we're talking about: they treated everyone like tools, not just gojo. in fact, his death did the most by cementing the fact that he died peacefully, that he had trust that the fate of the jujutsu world was in good hands with yuuji and the others. people who fail to see this are claiming that gege ruined gojo's character, but in reality gege honestly put a lot of value in gojo's role.

it's annoying how a lot of supposed gojo fans are treating him like a tool as they curse gege out for doing the same thing :/

[darkkbluee]

Your Top 5 ships? :3

Hi there, so nice to see you in my inbox again <3

My top 5 ships, hmm? Let's start with the death note ones:

Lawlight: What can I say, enemies to lovers is my favorite. And these two are the best at it, so iconic that they could even be enemies and lovers.

Near/Sayu: Listen, I know these two don't ever meet in canon. But there is something so right about it. Sayu is Light's younger sister, Near can be considered the youngest of L's successors. They both have that younger sibling energy that fits so well together. They can even get together and bitch about their respective older sibling/guardian who are hopelessly stupid in love and then laugh about it too. I ship it.

L/Light/Misa: When two people obsessed with the same person take a look at their love rival and go "huh, I'm impressed at how you chase, we also have a lot in common, how about we get together and enlighten (heh) the one in denial?"

Remisa: Rem is Misa's constant companion and support and I believe if they had been given enough time together, Misa could have come to love and appreciate that too. This is, probably, the healthiest relationship in my ships, given that it's based on a solid foundation (of Gelus's sacrifice), and emotions over time.

A/B: I could have put mellodramatic here. The only reason A and B are here is because, well, they're a mystery with a lot of available fill-in-the-blanks-of-our-love-story. We know A died and B ran away soon after. It leads to conclusion that A mattered so much to B that B could drop everything Wammy's orphanage offered (the private education, the support structure, the connections, the money, a bright future, everything) just because A died. Imo, that takes a lot. A lot. The tragedy of their shrodinger's love story has me place them at fifth place over melodramatic.

Other ships:

I love death note but! I do have ships from other fandom that would be in the top 5 above if it weren't for the fact that most ppl expect to see a death note post on my blog. So, here's other ships below

Naruto and Sasuke (and Sakura): Using an 'and' instead of a slash or a ship name because apparently, the order of the slash is important? I think Naruto and Sasuke have a lot of chemistry and they should get together and elope together away from Konoha lmao. And and and, add Sakura in there. Sakura is determined, driven and obsessive enough to put even the biological Uchiha obsession and Uzumaki energy to shame. She wanted an Uchiha and she got herself an Uchiha, no matter a few literal Gods in her path. They all three deserve each other, to be together and have an happy ever after. Romantic or platonic, I ship them together as a Team <3

Tomarry: No, listen. In Chamber of Secrets, in the book, Harry calls Tom Riddle handsome three times. It's like he took one look at Diary Tom and forgot any word except 'handsome' existed. In Half Blood Prince, when Harry sees the pensive memories, his thoughts about Tom Riddle are all "he's going to grow up to be handsome", "even at this age, he was handsome", "his features were waxy and skin too pale but he was still a handsome man". You see? You get it? All Ginny gets is 'nice skin' and 'nice teeth', Cho Chang gets 'shiny hair'. Tom fucking Riddle gets "so handsome i forget any other word exists oh sorry you were saying Professor Dumbledore?" The movie has a lot of good scenes but it takes away Harry's internal narration that makes me me think he's so gay for Tom Riddle.

Sherliam: I don't know if you've seen Moriarty The Patriot. It's an anime adaptation of the Sherlock books with its own twist. I love it. And the Sherlock/Moriarty (William Moriarty, to be specific) is so blatant. They don't need an on-screen kiss, their chemistry is so good. Sherlock is determined to save William from himself and William is determined to martyr himself to save the world. It's so tender, I can't <3

Wangxian: wei wuxian and lan wanji have such character development, relationship development, such pining and longing and then such shamelessness, I love them. They're relationship goals, once they fix their communication misunderstanding.

[silver-wield]

Hey just wanna ask. I read a clerith claiming that the Jail scene dialogue from OG is the ultimate Clerith scene ever because Cloud chose to flirt with Tifa with aerith in front of her. Enough to put her off. Uh I'm still currently replaying OG on my 2nd run but sources stating "there's obvious mutual attraction" going on with them? Makes my stomach churn for some reason probably because I'm kind of pissed off of Soldier Cloud being this way. Why did SE gotta do Tifa like that and put them together in one jail cell only for her to get hurt like that?? Wtf?

I swear to God if they don't make up a CLOSURE on why he's supposedly "attracted" "mutual attraction" to aerith, flirting with her saying wtvr in OG (Im not thinking of what's canon, the act itself exist it shows a perspective) I'm never going to forgive SE.

Im tired of them making Tifa out to be the second choice, or an aftermath after (she's always been the first choice wtf!? Where are all these shitty "he liked A more but settled with T" coming from??). She wasn't like Aerith who openly flirted with cloud because ignorance is a bliss. She liked Cloud the most but held back the most for obvious reasons out of worry, and they be letting cloud hurt her like that?? Wtf?? Tifa doesn't deserve that! She deserves so much more.

HELL NO WAY, I'm not gonna accept that True Cloud had a tinge of romantic interest / infatuation in aerith, that thing be better related to Zack or his Soldier Persona's needs (a fantasy that needs to be reciprocated to exist).

Plus if it was so important, wtf take away that scene all together? Why make cloud like he couldn't care less about aerith after saving her in remake (Barret doesn't even say stuff about him caring so much for A unlike in OG)? Even though a part of me sees this whole charade as a red herring, it pisses me off to my core that it's hardly given closure.

Ugh if they didn't just wanted to make sure people would be saddened by her death, they wouldn't need to put Tifa in the back burner for a huge chunk of the first parts because she gonna die early then. I'm so glad they've focused more on Tifa early on and you sure as hell would count on me to pray that her date would be the only one we'd be gettin on rebirth.

PS I just want to see Tifa happy, without the feelings of inadequacy. That she's the only one True Cloud ever loved and was attracted for. Otherwise, people will think again she's some martyr when her promise and moments literally gets NTR'd by aerith who took advantage of cloud to reminisce about Zack. I swear Tifa's a saint for caring about aerith in OG when the latter treated her really awfully. Ugh, she better be the enlightened version in remake because I sure as hell don't forgive OG aerith for causing her such sadness and pain (ngl A's pretty spoiled compared to what the others have gone through, I'm kinda pissed because most of the time she doesn't even deserve it).

Also, Claudia's line where city girls might be a source of temptation and distraction made me think of Jessie and aerith. Wherein he'd be needing Tifa, the mature one to balance him out.

Sorry, got pretty pissed. the only reason I'm tolerating and trying to understand Cloud here is because I love Tifa. And because I love her, I do really want to Like him too. Damn I feel like a combination of Marle and Brian.

It's okay, they're dumb and deluded. Also, that jail cell scene doesn't exist in remake so they're clinging to something Nojima removed because it didn't fit how the characters and plot were set out.

Fun fact: Toriyama wrote all of Aerith's scenes with Cloud in Midgar, so all annoying nonsense is his fanfiction at work since Nojima literally took it all out 🤣

They bring this up every few months because they think there was flirting and they love that mistranslation they throw around because to them "peevish/complicated" means jealousy and that there's something between Cloud and some chick he literally just met when he's been pining for Tifa since he was nine.

Basically it's about Tifa's feelings of insecurity and that as much as she likes Cloud, she feels like he's out of her league. It doesn't really have anything to do with Aerith, it could be any girl making her feel inadequate, but she feels out of sorts because she considers Aerith a friend and doesn't know how to resolve these conflicting emotions.

Never mind the devs put Cloud and Tifa in the same cell together, but sure, there's totally a moment happening elsewhere. If that was true, why is he with Tifa? That's basically saying the devs are assholes who wanna make Tifa miserable for kicks.

Yeah, I doubt it. Nomura said this in '97 that Tifa's the canon route and Aerith is the extra for players who wanna. With Remake they're not even entertaining that shit and having Cloud all over Tifa like the game is M rated and they'll be banging any second 🤭

[dystopicjumpsuit]

I'm not sure how many of these you've already answered so I hope you don't mind me sending you a hand full! B F H K and Y for the fanfic game, also, I'm sending you all the happy weekend vibes your way cos you deserve it!

No problem at all! I love this game.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

I work in academia, so I definitely was inspired by that when I was writing "Martyrs and Kings." Things like the endless deluge of administrative tasks, and also the gala scene with the lecherous donor--those were pulled straight from life (except my organization named a museum after him, not just a wing 🤢). Beyond that, I think most/all of my fics have some element of displacement or migration/diaspora. My family fled my home country when I was a teenager to escape cartel violence, so those themes of alienation and struggle to find a place that feels like home tend to work their way into most things that I write. Finally, I am bisexual, and I seem to include a lot of queer characters in my stories.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

I'm pretty happy with this scene in "Martyrs and Kings." I think it shows so much of Kix's charm, and I enjoyed throwing Maree off her game. I also liked the inversion of roles for Kix, the medic who now is getting medical "care" from someone who is very much Not That Kind of Doctor:

“Where else are you hurt?” she demanded.

“Nowhere,” he said, avoiding her gaze.

He took a hitching breath, and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“Take off your shirt,” she ordered.

He shot her a startled glance.

“What?” he asked.

“Off. Take it off. I know you’re hiding more injuries.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, rising to comply.

He shed his jacket and then slipped his shirt over his head with a tiny grunt of pain.

She hissed in a breath and unleashed a torrent of curses that made Kix’s mouth drop open in awe. The entire left side of his ribcage was covered in dark bruises.

“Will you teach me how to swear like that, doc?” he asked as some of the tension in his face began to ease. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

H: How would you describe your style?

Oh, that's tough! 😂

I think I'd describe it as introspective. I like to explore the characters' inner lives, and sometimes I do it to the detriment of the action. My next longfic will be more action-oriented, so I'm hoping to strike a balance there.

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

It's a spoiler for the next fic, alas! I will say that it gave me writer's block for two weeks because it hurt my feelings every time I opened the doc. 😭

Y: A character you want to protect.

Oh my god, every clone. All of them. Just let me gather them up like ducklings and take them somewhere safe and warm and happy. Most specifically, Echo and Gregor. I know I'm hyperfixating on them right now because they're the heroes of my WIP, but damn, they've been through enough. Let me protect them.

[mad-rdr]

All of Us Villians Duology - Amanda Foody and C.L. Herman

★ ★ ★ ★/5 (both)

I've said before and I'll say it again; bring back fantasy duologies!! All of Us Villians and All of Our Demise were such fun reads. For being young adult books, they were well stocked of morally gray characters, violence, and betrayal. I loved this series and each of the characters, with a competition resembling that of the Hunger Games, the addition of magic, and 7 power-hungry families, this was an intriguing set up. Every champion entered this competition with expectations set on their shoulders and every one defied them. There's much to discuss so this is just going to be a ramble of my thoughts. In the first book, I really liked Isobel and Alistair's scenes, how she realizes he isn't the monster everyone thinks he is and then death-curses him anyways. Isobel was such a fascinating character; she's branded as the "pretty girl," but my god is she one of the most vicious. She literally cast a death curse as she was kissing Alistair... enough said. Not to mention in the second book she literally plots out everyone's deaths while they sleep in the rooms next door. I love her. Moving on to Alistair though, homie just needs a hug and someone to care about him. I loved how he tried to act like a monster (though sometimes he really was) but eventually everyone realizes he just traumatized and clumsy (and a loverboy at heart...). He is also one of my favorite characters and I'm glad he gets to leave everything (his grief, trauma, horrible family name and legacy) behind at the end of book 2. Not to mention his relationship with Gavin- genuinely one of the best slow burn, enemies-to-lovers storylines I have ever seen. Their relationship was so cleverly thought out and I'm glad that after they fight through many death experiences to end the tournament, that they can be happy together. Honorable mentions to Finley, Briony, and Reid, whom I didn't love but enjoyed their POVs anyways. I feel like of any of the MCs to die, Briony made the most sense and I wasn't even surprised as I read the chapter. She always wanted to be the hero, so she got the martyr role in the end. I know there's more I'm leaving out, but in the interest of this being relatively short, I'll just say this; you will not regret picking up this series!

[1000punks]

extras/comments under the cut!

overall, this is a playlist about religious trauma. roiben is a bhaalspawn, there's no two ways about it. his feelings towards it are that he can't fight destiny, and resigns himself to being an assassin in bhaal's name, albeit reluctantly. "this is all i can be," he thinks. "so i'll be the best."

king for a day - ptv

Please, won't you push me for the last time? Let's scream until there's nothing left So sick of playing, I don't want this anymore The thought of you is no fucking fun You want a martyr? I'll be one Because enough's enough, we're done

You told me think about it, well I did Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore I'm tired of begging for the things that I want I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor

roiben sees a lot of his relationship with bhaal mirrored in his relationship with astarion, and as such, he'll be a martyr for both of them. two birds, one stone, right? the only way that relationship is gonna end is if one kills the other. but until that happens, roiben is happy to be astarion's blunt little instrument.

knockin' on heaven's door - bob dylan

Mama put my guns in the ground I can't shoot them anymore That cold black cloud is comin' down Feels like I'm knockin' on Heaven's door

what a twisted, cynical version of heaven. heaven for a bhaalist, i imagine, would be dying bloody and screaming.

desolation row - my chemical romance (bob dylan cover)

They're selling postcards of the hanging Well, they're painting the passports brown Yeah, the beauty parlor's filled with sailors The circus is in town

the bob dylan version is more extensive but i just felt this fit the vibe of cynicism and mass destruction that roiben would cause during and after the events of the netherbrain crisis. especially with astarion. gods below.

r*** me - nirvana

i won't post any lyrics for this one, but the overall tone of it is "fine. take everything from me. you'll get it back tenfold."

the killing moon - echo and the bunnymen

Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him

it's about bhaal. or is it about astarion? who can say for sure? roiben's head hurts.

sacred - depeche mode

Sacred, holy To put it in words, to write it down That is walking on hallowed ground But it's my duty, I'm a missionary

So here is my confession It's an obsession I'm a firm believer And a warm receiver

it's about astarion. or is it about bhaal? who can say for sure? roiben's head still hurts.

crimewave - crystal castles

Eyes lit on sharp threats from dark lips The lights press the soft skin to rough hands Eyes lit on sharp threats from dark lips The lights press the soft skin to rough hands

i have a scene in my head about the way that roiben approaches physical intimacy the same way he approaches murder. enough said.

marduk - heilung

i won't post lyrics here, but the lyrics are just all of the different names for marduk by the babylonians. i also encourage you to look at the marduk -> bel -> baal connections in ancient history. the name "marduk" translates to "lord," or "master."

engin miskunn (no mercy) - hatari

Eldur mun gleypa veröldu þína Haldreipi áttu engu að fagna Enga miskunn!

Fire will consume your entire world No lifeline to hold on to No mercy!

in the end, roiben is really in it alone. bhaal wants to use him as an instrument. so does astarion. so has everyone else in his life. the rage that must go along with that, hoo boy.

after dark - alper6nen

We're swaying; To drum beats In motion; I'm feeling My patience; Controlling The question; I won't speak We're telling; The stories Our laughter; He knows me We're leaving; We're talking You're closer; It's calming

all things considered, astarion is still the first person to show roiben an ounce of care. and under the cover of night, he can open up a little bit. a close second is shadowheart. he's never had friends before this, guys - give him a break :') also don't give mr. kitty money/streams - that's why i used this version.

join me in death - HIM

This world is a cruel place And we're here only to lose So before life tears us apart let Death bless me with you

there are only two things certain to roiben; astarion, and everything dies eventually. he loves him, but he's scared of love, he's never felt it. so it comes out this twisted broken thing as he watches the person he loves become the worst possible version of himself. roiben has to wonder, how did the two of them get here? is everything he touches destined to break?

PRAYER - HYDE

I'm crossing the borderline Without a sound A wilderness No one could ever know The sadness How it brings me down I know I have no choice

Is it wise? Taking a life?

this is specifically about the Urge. the lyrics in general kill me, it sounds so hopeless. and it is.

zetsubou billy (billy in despair) - maximum the hormone

愛　知恵比べ　緊迫 エゴの屈折サディスト 断片邪念の鉄槌 奪れゆく生命

臓器広げ懺悔 ほくそ笑む死神　因果関係なぜ？

Love, a battle of wits, tension, bending of the ego, a sadist Fragments from the hammer of an evil mind, robbing one of life Saturated with criminals, the urgent murder of a sinner Snickering gods of death, why this repercussion?

these two parts, specifically? shit, dude. more about destiny and the fight, the death, the potential repurcussions, the emptiness it leaves in the chosen vessel. you get it.

dead souls - NIN

Someone take these dreams away That point me to another day A duel of personalities That stretch all true realities

That keep calling me They keep calling me Keep on calling me They keep calling me

the urge, and also the meta associated with roiben outside of the events of the game (inside the events of the tri-soul, for example).

tear you apart - she wants revenge

It's only just a crush, it'll go away It's just like all the others it'll go away Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know You pray it all away but it continues to grow

i don't know that i have to explain this one lmfao but it's about astarion.

i don't wanna be me - type o negative

i think this one does what it says on the can!

aerials - system of a down

When you lose small mind, you free your life Aerials, so up high When you free your eyes, eternal prize

this one is the theme song for roiben embracing his urge. it was touch and go in act 2, he didn't get isobel immediately but he got her in the end.

pretty handsome awkward - the used

Your market value Your resurrection (your resurrection) Your shallow concept help yourself I hope you choke and you die I know you meant it Nice fucking disguise (so hollow) Embrace the burn You bleed just like you puke while running a mile

you know that banter line you sometimes get when you click back to Durge? it goes "Wretched thing, pull yourself together." this song reminds me of that, like an inner monologue.

dig up her bones - misfits

I have seen the demon's face I have heard of her death place I fall down on my knees in praise of the Horrible things that took her away

And death climbs up the steps one by one To give you the rose that's been burnt by her son

this gives me a very post-orin battle vibe. i think roiben would ultimately feel guilty about it but carry on dutifully regardless.

kiss the ring - my chemical romance

Move back the walls And keep the faith Don't leave a dry eye left in the back of place Is it hard To stay clean? And if you all keep believing I'll keep believing

another embracing the urge anthem, it just gets harder to push aside from here on out, and roiben's head hurts.

leviathan - leathermouth

i'm not posting lyrics because i think you really need to experience this song itself. think, inner monologue. think, losing your mind. think, bloodthirsty.

smells blood - kensuke ushio

God can't stop me, we are coming You are one of us, remember God can't stop me, we are coming You are one of us, remember

God can't stop me, we are coming You are one of us, remember God can't stop me, we are coming You are one of us, remember

I don't need God Because I'm him I don't need God Because I'm him (ah)

this song is from devilman crybaby and it plays (almost) every time that asuka/satan does something. consider the lore of the fall of lucifer here. :0

the murderer - alesana

The knife slides down to the tip of my tongue. I'm finding pleasure in watching you writhe. I lean in just to lick the sweat off your face. I taste the reverence dripping down my throat.

shuffles notes uhhh, nuff said.

terrible lie - NIN

Hey God, why are you doing this to me? Am I not living up to what I'm supposed to be? Why am I seething with this animosity? Hey God, I think you owe me a great big apology Terrible lie Hey God, I really don't know what you mean Seems like salvation comes only in our dreams I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme Hey God, can this world really be as sad as it seems?

i think this is the song that plays in the distance when roiben is standing in the wreckage of the apocalypse and is maybe, considering the weight of what his hands have done.

gimme danger - the stooges

Now, if you will be my lover I will shiver and sing But if you can be my master I will do anything

this one really has to do with helping astarion ascend, and being his right hand. is he a lover? is he a master with an iron hand? yes!

head like a hole - NIN

God Money I'll do anything for you God Money just tell me what you want me to God Money nail me up against the wall God Money don't want everything he wants it all No you can't take it No no you can't take it (You can't take that away from me) Head like a hole Black as your soul I'd rather die than give you control

regrets? maybe there are some down the line. maybe when roiben gets a little older he'll wish he hadn't caused so much destruction. maybe later if there's any wiggle room he'll resist the urge to kill.

the hills - the weeknd

I only call you when it's half-past five The only time that I'll be by your side I only love it when you touch me, not feel me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah

i definitely see a!a/roiben's relationship changing a lot after the events of the game. getting tired of one another emotionally, still craving that physical connection. roiben especially tiring of the theatrics and the promiscuity (i feel like a!a would be promiscuous as a power grab, but that's just my mind palace). their relationship is something that happens only in the dark of night.

came for the low - ZHU

We can be alone Push it 'til you're gone Tripping with the low I know you wanna go again

speaking of things that happen in the dark of night... their relationship is more of necessity than love after so long. it's a power struggle. very "you're the only motherfucker that can handle me (derogatory)"

hysteria - muse

'Cause I want it now I want it now Give me your heart and your soul And I'm breaking out I'm breaking out Last chance to lose control

i'm really hoping to explore these themes in a fic, so i won't say too much. maybe things eventually end for the both of them. sips drink

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

alright fuckers let me tell you about how the founding fathers are responsible for me ruining a couch cushion

not like that get your head out of the gutter ya nasty

so its the fourth of july today, which i only like because it's my dog's birthday (so everyone say happy fifth birthday to maij). It also happens to be the day a bunch of fuckers in the 1700s decided they weren't getting enough attention from daddy britain and wanted to do their own thing

yada yada, war and shit and now a rednecks in my city like to set off explosives that scare both maij and I, leaving us to play the age-old american game of "fireworks or gunshots?"

anyway in typical adhd fashion, i waited until the last possible day to pick up my ritalin. because its the fourth, all the pharmacies in my area are closed, but I didn't KNOW THAT so I drove all the way to my pharmacy and braved downtown traffic (i'm a martyr, yes) only for them to tell me I couldn't get my normal pills and to come back tomorrow. well, that sucks, but no biggie. work's gonna be a bitch-and-a-half, but I've dealt with it before.

AU CONTRAIRE DEAR READER

because I don't have my meds, I've been chewing gm like I'm a crack addict. it helps me focus, but I also tend to forget about it and put it weird places because I can't fuckign remember to throw it away. keep that in your back pocket, friends

I was finally in a groove, gettin' my shit done, when i needed to get up (distracted, yet again) and then I realized there was a streak of fucking GUM on my PANTS and also now on my COUCH CUSHION.

If it were just me, I wouldn't be panicking as much, but my partner and I JUST BOUGHT THIS GODDAMN COUCH, so I'm like, shit. And my partner works night shifts, so ze was still sleeping (thank god) but income crisis mode.

I tried the ice method to get the gum up, it didn't work. I tried regular soap and water, also didn't work, and now the couch is damp. I finally decided to bring out the artillery and try goo gone. It worked great! except because I was distracted, I set the open bottle on the upholstered ottoman, and spilled it everywhere. All over the fabric, and the floor.

For those uninitiated, goo gone is OIL BASED. so now I'm like, shitting bricks, because my partner will be up in like half an hour. (There's no major consequences, I'm just out here acting a damn fool and don't want my partner to see lmaooo)

I speed clean like my life depends on it with a sponge and some dish soap, but the SOAP IS NOT WASHING AWAY. Like I just keep trying to dab at it and nothing is happening.

So I apologize to the couch before stripping it of its dignity, and hand wash the damn fabric in the sink. I'm sitting next to the foam carcass as I write this, the poor lad.

Anyway, I'm hoping the dryer is done soon so my partner doesn't have to see the mutilated corpse of our new couch when ze wakes up.

tl;dr because its the fourth, I couldn't get my adhd meds, forgot about my gum, sat on said gum and stained my new couch, made a fucking mess, and now must live with my shame, all because of good ole George, hammy, Jeff, and the rest of those bastards

[end scene]

[gutz-radio]

Stranger things spoilers below:

This season sucked BALLS. I shouldn't be but yet I am still amazed at how the Duffer Balls manage to have literal gold in their hands and chose to shit on it. Eddie's death was lazy writing. It was poor and just a quick and cheap way to wash away the whole 'Satanic Cult' bullshit. Also what is it with leaving his fucking CORPSE in the Upside Down for christ's sake. You couldn't even bring his fucking corpse back?? Nah fuck that. Disrespect to Eddie and a waste of a fucking brilliant actor like Joseph Quinn. And if that didn't make me angry enough, let me proceed with the rest of the mountains of bullshit. 1. This constant flip flop between Stancy and Jancy. Honest to fucking god I hate love triangles enough as a trope itself but for god's fucking sake this is basically taking a SEMI TRUCK INTO STEVE AND NANCY'S GODDAMN DEVELOPMENT. Steve's whole shit was learning to move from Nancy and Nancy finding a better connection with Jonathan. Oh, and Jonathan was treated like SHIT by the Duffers this season. Him being a stoner makes no fucking sense it was pulled out of goddamn fucking nowhere. 2. Whatever they were trying to pull with Will's sexuality flopped harder than Chrissy's corpse on the floor of the Munson's trailer. Like I don't even like Byler but A. it was vague as shit and B. They really used him just to push the Mileven agenda. Good job on completely fucking up Duffers. Brilliant

3. THE WHOLE FUCKING BULLSHIT WITH DEMONISING BILLY FOR THE 483TH TIME GOD'S SAKE. My man is dead. He has been fucking skewered like a fucking kebab and never got to live his fucking life and better himself and get away from his shit garbage father. I accepted that at the end that he's not coming back, but by god the Duffers can't just let my man die in fucking peace. No, instead they have to drag him through the goddamn mud again with Max's bullshit speech that I hate with all my might. That he 'didn't deserve to be saved'. Nice message there, telling people who have been in Billy's shoes that because they have been abused and mistreated and lash out because VICTIM'S AREN'T FUCKING PERFECT THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH SHIT NO PERSON SHOULD EVER GO THROUGH, may or may not deserve a change for a better life. Billy SACRIFICED HIMSELF and became a fucking MARTYR over a memory of when he was happy and the smallest show of tenderness and caring from a child he DOESN'T EVEN KNOW that made him overpower a GODDAMN MIND CONTROLLING ELDRITCH ABOMINATION MONSTER AND SAVE EVERYONE. And the thanks he gets is the Duffers pissing on his grave. I will forever be fucking pissed at this writing and the Duffers should NEVER try write a character in an abusive situation again because by GOD they did it POORLY.

4. The sympathy bullshit for Brenner and Henry/Vecna/One. So you are telling me they made Brenner sympathetic with this "I oNlY wAnTeD tO hElP yOu" bullshit, and did this whole melancholy music scene. No fuck that. This man stole CHILDREN from their mothers and fried Terry Ives' brains to the point she can't have a normal fucking life and is stuck in a vegetable state for the rest of her life. He also abused these fucking kids and tortured them. FUCK HIM. And sympathy because of Henry/Vecna/One because of what Brenner did? saying he's not a monster? After he fucking killed INNOCENT KIDS and his own goddamn family? Getting his dad thrown into a mental asylum for a crime he didn't commit? Basically having an ideology that would involve fucking murdering all of humanity? And we had glimpses of sympathy through Eleven telling him he didn't need to do this? FUCK THAT TOO.

The ONLY redeeming things in this hellfire garbage shit show was

Lucas beating Jason

Jopper and the Russia stuff

Mike's speech to Eleven because I'm a sucker for Mileven

The smallest fizzle of hope that Robin might get a romantic interest

This season was executed poorly. It was so bad it made me miss the dumpster fire of Season 3. That's how bad it was. And I have no hope for Season 5, the only reason I'll watch it because I hate not knowing how a story ends, even if in the end it sucks ass and I'm left forever disappointed at how what once was a good story with a good plot and characters I adored and cared for became a complete fucking mess of fanservice, 80s pop culture references, lazy writing, and shitty horror for the sake of 'edge' and 'shock'.

I said it once and I'll say it again: Stanger Things should have ended in Season fucking TWO.

[raposarealm]

Rena

I saw this coming from a mile away, ehe

Why I like them:

First, I'm a sucker for well-written tsunderes. I have a type, I know.

Secondly, Rena's really relatable to me. She's from a relatively normal background, but she nonetheless ended up with a bad hand. She's not introverted and shy, per se, but she's really bad at reading the room and the people in it, and she doesn't get what things need to be not said -- so she comes across as extremely blunt and mean, and gets picked on and harassed for it enough that she closed herself off and started acting like the 'mean streak' was on purpose. She pushes her friends away because she sees herself as a burden to them, and doubles down when they confront her about it. And like, god, f4, could you possibly call me out more? Rena's desire to constantly be someone she's not, to the point of abusing her magic to copy others, really kinda hits the nail on the head; like, I bring hardships on myself and start arguments and fights in order to punish myself, but also to make myself feel like the martyr that I'm not.

Why I don’t:

The writers sometimes go overboard with Rena's 'mean' attitude, and have her act really out of line -- like the scene from the anime's first season where, after the gang save Kaede from the Friendship Ending Staircase, Rena is too scared to ask Kaede to be her friend again, and instead tells her to be 'her slave', like, what. That's just mean. I mean, it's funny, but it's harsh in a way that doesn't match Rena's constantly-misinterpreted bluntness. Sometimes the writers just have her be mean to be mean, too, like her scene in Yachiyo's MSS where she just steals one of Yachiyo's donuts and then tries to pretend she didn't just steal someone's food? That's not a social rule, that's morality, y'all.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

There's a lot of possibilities, but I'd say either A) the game version of Chapter 10's Eve fight, where she copies Kaede's magic and the two work together to tie down Eve with a bunch of vines, or B) the Arc 2 Chapter 7 Rena/Ranka reunion, which I won't describe here because spoilers, but it's so good and also I like Ranka a lot because of Rena.

Favorite season/movie:

I'm gonna pretend half the anime didn't happen, so I'll cheat and say her MSS, which is really good anyways.

Favorite line:

From her story select: "Even Rena hates Minami Rena..."

Favorite outfit:

Her normal Magical Girl uniform, I've come to love it.

OTP:

KaeRena or IroRena are both very good.

Brotp:

Momoko/Rena and Ranka/Rena (game please let them be happy!)

Head Canon:

Her bluntness and awkwardness reminds me heavily of autistic behavior (and by this I mean myself but shhh)

Also, she probably slays at karaoke when she's not around other people.

Unpopular opinion:

I.. don't think I hold much in this category?

A wish:

F4 please give her better outfits beyond her normal uniform and MG outfit... her winter one's ok but... her Christmas one's an atrocity.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

I don't know what I'd do if she died and/or witched out. (knocks on ood)

5 words to best describe them:

"Grumpy", "Tryhard", "Blunt", "Dedicated", "Loyal"

My nickname for them:

Honestly, I just call her 'Rena'.

[chaos-and-recover]

Trust me, we have all noticed you are a catty bitch like 90% to the time to almost all your anons, we read your tags we know you've made being a haughty superior bitch your tumblr persona, and it is usually mildly chuckle inducing, but this time it just kinda seems less snarky and more bully. The difference now is you are just wrong. We all get it, your ships never went canon and you are fine with that but theirs did, and their movement isn't about the ship so much as the repeated history of treating queer representation like garbage. This was the straw, is all. Also yeah Jensen isn't great but the scene would not have happened without his permission and he himself has been hyping that scene more than the finale and has it filmed on his phone. We all know he isnt destiel's biggest fan but over the past year his attitude changed to admitting it was ambiguous. So just give it a rest and stop the martyr act. When someone tried to explain, you lashed out and you know you did. Stop acting dumb. It isn't that you disagree, it is how you do it, and your repeated mocking in your tags. Obviously I follow you and like your content enough to keep following you but how many times do you have to get anons from various fandoms telling you that you're rude before you give up the "but I'm not rude????" act. Every few weeks someone sends you an anon calling you out and you do this every time, the only difference is now it isn't a difference in opinion so much as you arguing against actual evidence that really happened and went viral. It isn't difficult. I already know how your response is gonna be but sometimes you have to just take the L and move on. I feel sorry for the dub person. Just hoping this gave you some clarification, even if you might just double down on how not wrong you are and unfair you're being treated. Which is fine because that is always my first reaction too.

Okay. I hear you. Can I sincerely ask where I went wrong in my replies to dub anon? I know I upset them but I genuinely thought I was giving a differing point of view on the whole thing so I'm not sure WHAT did it, you know? Like I truly do not know.

I think what we're disagreeing on isn't that evidence like the Spanish dub exists, because obviously it does, but the intention of the network and the show. Because I still find it hard to believe that if they wanted to erase all signs of Dean's reciprocation that they would've let the Spanish dub go to air like that, and I also do not believe they would've backed down to protect some mythical straight adult male demo who has never been a target of the CW, or the conservative Christian demo who would be fine with killing the literal Christian God but not two men confessing feelings for each other.

I think they wanted to leave it one-sided, or ambiguous, because that's what they've ALWAYS done with destiel shippers, and I'm sure I mentioned somewhere in another post that it isn't the fans who are the bad guys here, you've been jerked around by this show for 15 years. They ALWAYS do this. They wink and nod to the fandom, they know the shippers are out there, but then they mock them in text. I never thought the introduction of Chuck and then the fandom surrounding his books and the musical and all that was a friendly wink wink nudge nudge to real life spn fandom, I always thought it was a little mocking, so I guess I'm surprised everyone is in fact happy about canon destiel, and why I've reblogged the memes and shit making fun of how stupid it all was. A sincere "you were right all along" doesn't fit the tone I got from the way the show has dealt with this stuff in the past. That's it. That's what I was getting at.

[overthinkingkdrama]

I'm the kind of person who doesn't write a thing about what I'm watching, but, I have to say I love Money Flower, and I love every post you make about it. You're not alone (?) ;) As a spoiler but something I have to say, I'm dying with Boo Cheon going badly, and it hurts that what finally crack him was Pil Joo's betrayal. Jang Hyuk's final face was too much :v

Thanks for dropping by to throw some gasoline onto the fires of my own personal hell, anon. I think I spent 3 hours ranting to my BFF about this exact subject yesterday. I was trying to organize my thoughts to write a post about it but I couldn’t. I feel ya. Oh yea, you and I are in the same boat.

In all seriousness, I love it when I get anonymous message that give me an excuse to write about something I was already privately ranty about. So thank you, lol.

[Fair warning…I went HAM on my reply. Sorry?? Huge spoilers for the show past this point, y���all.]

It was hard watching my three crazy kids fall apart this week. Especially Boo. The turn his character took this week broke my damn heart. Full disclosure: Boo Cheon is my favorite character in this garbage fire of a show. Has been for weeks now. I feel like I’m pretty much alone in that opinion. My mind twin, agaggleoffandoms (for whatever reason tumblr is refusing to let me @ her) and I are on the same page, but for the most part people seem to really hate Boo. I don’t get it. I can’t wrap my head around how you could love and root for Pil Joo in this whole thing, and yet have no sympathy for Boo Cheon whatsoever. Like, I get it, but I really don’t get it.

Okay, so, I think Kang Pil Joo is actually Satan himself and this is why…

First, let me disclaim and say that I like Pil Joo as a character. I like him a lot. I like the way Jang Hyuk is playing him. I like his scenes. I like him because he’s twisted and terrifying. I like what a manipulative monster he is. I went into the drama expecting it and I was not disappointed at all. He’s every bit the sociopathic puppet master the poster promised me. I watch this show because it’s a crazy-sauce makjang mess. I enjoy the characters because of how insurmountably dysfunctional they are.

Additionally, this isn’t supposed to be a post to justify Boo’s actions, or claims that he’s done nothing wrong. Clearly that’s not the case. I’m just trying to understand the audience’s reaction to him. Why I find myself rooting for him so much, and other people have no time for him at all.

The first thing Boo Cheon does at the beginning of episode 17 is threaten the mother of his child making it clear in no uncertain terms that if she goes through with the press conference and torpedo’s his chances to be chairman she’s as good as dead. That’s monstrous. I make no bones about that. I would just argue that Boo is merely the monster that Pil Joo has made of him.

If we’re going to completely jettison the possibility of Boo’s redemption arc based on that scene, Pil Joo shouldn’t be getting a pass. In the moral landscape of the show, Pil Joo has done everything Boo has done, but three shades darker.

Pil Joo has personally laid hands on Seo Won not once…

But two separate times….

He has also directly threatened her life on multiple occasions. He’s the Jang family fixer. We know how dirty his hands can get. The show has shown us. And we can argue all day long that Pil Joo never would have actually harmed her. That he was trying to put the fear of god into her because he was also a victim of Jang family violence toward mistresses and their unacknowledged children…but does that justify it? Boo has also on multiple occasions attempted to remove her from the situation, and taken steps to protect her from his family by bringing their son to Mooshimwon. Seo Won is either too foolhardy or too determined to take the hint. She revealed herself to Mo Hyun with malicious intent and became indirectly responsible for the loss of his unborn child.

He goes to the hotel room to meet Seo Won because Pil Joo sent him there. He threatens her with a knife–Pil Joo’s knife interestingly enough–making good on his promise not to let anyone stand between him and the chairman position. Why does he even want the chairman position? Because that’s what Pil Joo groomed him to want:

Sure, Boo has said that he wanted to become chairman for his own reasons now. He is motivated to succeed so that Mo Hyun will praise him and feel proud of him. He’s motivated to do it because he’s developed a real affection for his wife. He loves her enough to feel jealous over the prospect of losing her, to go head to head with his mother over her, and even to put his own life at risk for her. Why is he even married to Mo Hyun? Because of Pil Joo’s manipulations.

Everyone is in the position they’re in because of Pil Joo’s manipulations. Look at what he’s done to Mo Hyun! He lied repeatedly, fed Boo lines, write apology letters for him, engineered situations to further the seduction plot for his own personal benefit. He has continually withheld crucial information from her in order to control her actions. Because it all forwards his revenge plot.

Furthermore, he resents Mo Hyun for falling in love with Boo according to his own plot.

This is a pattern we have seen repeatedly. Since as early as episode 4:

Pil Joo blames other people for falling into his traps. He doesn’t take responsibility himself. He is “unable to stop himself” so they have to be the ones to resist him. He merely writes the scripts, he sets up the pieces, but if you fall for his tricks then it’s your own fault. That’s the attitude we’ve seen again and again.

And sure, he’s in denial. He obviously still has feelings for Mo Hyun. But those feelings have always been subordinate to his need for revenge, and continue to be sacrificed in the name of his goals. Along with the people around him, their lives and their happiness. Whether they deserve it or not. Everyone is expendable in the name of revenge.

He sets Mo Hyun up to hear the ugly truth about their deception and her arranged marriage as though he’s about to tell her everything, but then he only tells her enough to break her and drive her away from Mooshimwon. He didn’t even tell her why he, the real Jang Eun Cheon, is hiding his identity and staying in that family. He didn’t tell her why he was doing what he was doing. He didn’t explain why he became the Jang family dog. He only told her enough to devastate her and driver her away. Let me repeat that: he didn’t even tell her the whole truth. His whole “confession” was just another one of his manipulations!

This has nothing to do with making a clean breast of it with Mo Hyun, and everything to do with the revenge plot. Pil Joo isn’t a martyr. He’s a monster.

Immediately after the confession, where is he? Planning his take over of Cheong A. He doesn’t even take a breath to recover. He immediately asks Yong Goo to go over the final leg of the plan with him:

After intentionally breaking Mo Hyun’s spirit and wrecking his supposed “friend’s” sham marriage of his own design, Pil Joo is right back on his slash and burn war path toward the utter destruction of Cheong A. We may want to attribute all these suppressed emotions and noble feelings to Pil Joo to try to mollify his guilt in some way. His mysterious friend/helper Yong Goo sure seems to want to. But you know what kind of person consistently suppresses their better feelings in the name of goal oriented, ends-justify-the-means pragmatism?

A cold blooded, sociopath. Which is what Pil Joo is.

By contrast, where do we find Boo after he threatens to kill the mother of his child in the name of his goals? Sobbing like a child in his car:

Where is he after his wife’s very understandable mental breakdown upon find out that the last five years of her life have been one long series of lies and manipulations orchestrated by and large by the man she loves? Watching over her as she sleeps.

Of the two of them, Boo is the one most visibly shaken and horrified by his actions. And it’s honestly a wonder that Boo isn’t more messed up than he is, morally speaking. Considering that he’s been physically and emotionally abused by his terrifying mother and manipulative friend for the past 20 years.

Oh yeah, remember how Pil Joo frequently uses violence with him when Boo doesn’t do what he’s supposed to do?

Boo still has a soul and is capable of feeling things like remorse and betrayal. Like the desire to protect his son.

While I feel terrible for Mo Hyun, because her life has been utterly and undeservedly wrecked by these people, I think she’s capable of recovery. After all, she already suspected what kind of people lived a Mooshimwon. She has had multiple indications of what kind of situation she is willingly placing herself in. Boo is coping with the shock that everything he believed about his life for almost 20 years is a lie. His sense of identity has been shaken–everything he’s wanted, everything he’s ever attained is part of this lie. He was forced into an arranged marriage that he didn’t even want at the time and now that he truly loves his wife, she’s calling out Pil Joo’s name in her sleep! He just found out that his only friend has never been sincere with him. Rather, he approached him maliciously with the intention of ruining his family and taking his place. Not only that, he’s found out that he’s not even the biological son of the father that he idolizes. Pil Joo is the true heir, here to take everything away he’s ever taught Boo to want.

Anybody would crack up in these circumstances. And he can’t even talk to anyone about it. He can’t tell his mother or confide in wife or the person who was supposed to be his best friend. He ends up going to his unacknowledged father (I think he knows, or at least strongly suspects who Driver Oh is) to vent some of his grief.

He talks about the truth of Pil Joo’s deception being enough to kill Mal Ran if she was to ever find out. But I think the same scene can be taken a different way. He doesn’t want his mom to find out the truth, because he doesn’t want her to feel the way he feels right now. Like he might die from it. Because Boo really loved Pil Joo, damn it! If we can say nothing else about Boo Cheon, we have to at least give him that.

Even if they intend to make Boo the antagonist from this point until the end of the drama, I just can’t bring myself to hate him. He’s too pitiful. Sure, he’s weak and selfish and entitled. But he is what he was conditioned to be from a very young age. His mother has treated him like an incompetent disappointment and Pil Joo has turned him into a puppet. If things had played out different, who knows where he would be right now? If not for Pil Joo’s interference, who knows what kind of person he could have become?

One big thing that the shooting range scene demonstrates (besides the fact that Boo has officially been driven around the bend) is that when he isn’t comparing himself to or being hopelessly dependent on Pil Joo, he can actually perform very well.

As much as I despise his cousin, I think Yeo Cheon was right about something:

Anyway…that’s why I can’t help but root for and feel sorry for Boo. I hope that he’s not past the point of no return. And I’m still waiting for Pil Joo to recognize the fact that a) Boo is a victim of this corrupt family as much as he is himself and b) he doesn’t have the right to manipulate and destroy other people’s lives like some kind of vengeful god. Even when the deserve it.

If it’s not evident from what I’ve written above: I really, really like this show. It’s mad entertaining, and the character arcs are as complex as they are tragic. I am still hoping for Pil Joo’s redemption, I think the man is utterly fascinating. I don’t see this train wreck having a happy ending. But I’m still waiting for Pil Joo and Boo to actually have it out about Pil Joo’s lies before someone gets shot or stabbed. I want to believe, even at this point, that Pil Joo really did come to care for Boo. Even if he started out hating him, I can’t believe all he feels for Boo is hate, anymore than I believe he really put a stop to his feelings for Mo Hyun. Forgiveness might not be possible at this point, but at the very least I’m hoping for closure. A lot can happen in 6 hours, so lets keep our fingers crossed.

Anyway, those are my TL;DR feelings about Money Flower. Raw and  unabridged. Thanks for your patience while I worked on your ask, and thanks for sticking with me if you read this far. Goodnight, my lovely followers. You’re all so beautiful.

Jona

[sage-nebula]

"I’m bracing myself for the fact that Saeyoung’s death will be a mandatory part of Saeran’s Normal/Good End" I'm very afraid of that as well :/// It makes me wonder though, what if Saeran shooting Saeyoung is a part of the route, but the results of that depend on the end you get: normal/good end have Saeyoung survive (maybe Vanderwood saves him? Or binds his injury, like in the Secret Ends?) while bad ends have him... yeah... One big fear right here, Cheritz, one BIG fear ._.

Hmm, I don’t know. I feel doubtful about that for a few reasons.

Shooting Saeyoung but then having him survive would qualify as a Disney Death, which is out of place in a game like Mystic Messenger where characters who are killed off tend to be killed off for real (unless they’re named Rika, because she’s like a cockroach; we just can’t seem to get rid of her). When Saeran shot V in the Secret Endings, V died. Although there were people on the scene right then and there who probably would have tried to bind his wounds (including Vanderwood), he still ended up suffering a wound so fatal that it took his life. Similarly, when Saeran blew himself up in Another Story, he died. Unless V’s After Ending tries to retcon that somehow (and I don’t see how it plausibly could), Saeran’s death was permanent. He died, and Cheritz did not take it back. So when it comes to characters we actually like and care about, when Cheritz kills them off, they kill them for real. Rika being the exception is possibly because she’s the villain / Cheritz knows most of us don’t care about her, and thus we’re not going to mourn her death anyway. With Saeyoung, Cheritz knows good and goddamn well how much of the fandom positively loves him, and so he’s a character whose death would very likely be permanent. They would want that emotional impact, and they wouldn’t want to fake it by psyching everyone out.

Every single Route ends with someone dead or suffering in the Good End. Even Jaehee’s Route, which is pretty much universally agreed upon to be the softest and easiest route, has (if I’m remembering correctly, and apologies if I’m not) V imprisoned in Magenta, being tortured by Mint Eye, at the end of it. He’s not dead, but he presumably will die there, and anyway he’s suffering in a situation he can’t be saved from. (Not to mention that Saeran is still with Mint Eye as well, Saeyoung is still with the agency, and so on and so forth.) Therefore, it wouldn’t really make sense for Saeran’s Route to have everyone saved and happy at the end, when no one else’s route allowed everyone to escape unscathed. When the truest of True Ends (the Secret Endings) didn’t give us an ending where everyone good escaped unscathed, I don’t see why Saeran’s Route---a route that Cheritz originally didn’t even want to include, but is now only including because they know it will make them money---would.

As I mentioned before, as terrible as this is, Saeyoung’s presence is not as necessary a requisite for Saeran to get the ending he wants as Saeran’s presence was for Saeyoung. Saeyoung loves and cherishes his brother; he always has, and he always will. For him to have a truly happy ending, it was necessary for Saeran to be saved. He could not rest, nor could he be happy, until he knew that Saeran was safe, healing, and on his way to happiness. But the same is not true in reverse. Saeran has been brainwashed into loathing Saeyoung. Although there was that confusing chat with “Ray” where he talked about seeing his brother again (which honest to god makes no sense even in Another Story), it’s made pretty clear that Saeran still despises Saeyoung in Another Story as well, even when his “Ray” persona is at the forefront. He, as Ray, still wants Saeyoung dead, preferably by his own hand. Because of this, being a family with Saeyoung again is not something Saeran perceives as being a necessary requisite for his happy ending. In fact, all he actually wants is to live somewhere happily and comfortably with MC. And while we can argue (and I would agree) that Saeyoung is instrumental in Saeran’s healing, I don’t think that it’s necessarily about what would be best for the character in question, but rather, what they want. Since what Saeran wants is to live with MC (and Saeyoung is not part of that), I don’t think Cheritz will deem Saeyoung’s presence necessary for Saeran’s happy ending. If nothing else, it’s not Saeyoung’s presence in Saeran’s life that will be necessary, but rather, Saeyoung’s redemption in Saeran’s eyes that is.

This is why I brought up the idea of a heroic sacrifice on Saeyoung’s part. Saeran has been tortured and brainwashed by Rika and the rest of Mint Eye into believing that:

Saeyoung abandoned him because he was frail and helpless (and Saeyoung subsequently forgot about him because he was having too much fun with the RFA parties to care)

Rika is his savior, and the only one who cares about him

Magenta is a place of everlasting happiness, and Mint Eye is the organization that brings about that happiness

The drugs are medicine, and the pain and suffering Saeran feels as a result of them is a good and necessary thing

Every other character had crucial misconceptions flipped around for them over the course of their Routes (provided the player was getting the Good Ending, of course). For instance, Saeyoung learned that he didn’t have to (and shouldn’t) take every burden on his shoulders (and that accepting help and letting people into his life was a good thing), and V learned that Rika’s behavior was not his fault, nor was she his responsibility (but rather, she needed to take responsibility for herself). Having these realizations allowed them to reach their Good Endings. For Saeran, the situation is the same; the four ideas above are the ones that he needs to flip around in order to reach his Good Ending, and I could see a heroic sacrifice on Saeyoung’s part allowing him to do just that. (He also has a misconception about V, but this is about Saeyoung rather than V, so I’m not talking about that just now.)

In essence, I could see a situation where Saeyoung, MC, and Saeran are all in Magenta. The bomb has been activated, and perhaps in this Route it’s set to a timer (like the bomb in the apartment). The Believers have all evacuated, and these three are the last ones left behind, but perhaps there’s some reason why they can’t leave yet; maybe some other security system activated, maybe they have remote control over a bomb at another location, who knows. Saeran knows how to take care of this, but so does Saeyoung, and he insists that Saeran and MC leave while he stays behind to take care of it. Saeran expresses disbelief and anger that Saeyoung would “pretend to play the martyr,” but Saeyoung snaps that he’s not pretending to do anything, and Saeran needs to get out and leave. Saeran hesitates, because he doesn’t know how to process the idea that Saeyoung would risk his life for him, so Saeyoung tells MC to take Saeran and go. Because this is Saeran’s Route, MC of course agrees, and drags Saeran out of the building. Both of them escape, and Saeyoung makes good on his word to stop whatever needed to be stopped (or to open the doors for them if it was some type of security system, again, who knows), but Saeyoung is still inside when the bomb detonates. The place explodes, he dies, Saeran is horrified and wracked with grief and shock. However, a component of grief is anger, and Saeyoung’s sacrifice allows him to realize that Rika has been lying to him all these years about how his brother truly felt---that Saeyoung did love him, and didn’t willingly abandon him. This allows him to see the rest of her lies as well, and this inspires him to turn on Rika and Mint Eye for good.

In this scenario, Saeyoung dies in the Good Ending. Cheritz gets their seemingly mandatory blood sacrifce. The Choi twins still have their relationship repaired, in a fashion, even if it’s post-mortem given that Saeyoung had to give his life in order for Saeran to see the light. Given that Saeran has forgiven his brother post-mortem, I could see Cheritz taking that as a “good enough” when it comes to their relationship, and feeling like it counts as a Good Ending since Saeran still has MC. In my opinion, given their writing, a scenario like this is extremely plausible. I’m not going to be at all happy about it if it happens, but I could see it happening.