#//god i want to make a blog for them so bad
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alwaysthefool · 2 days ago
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Dressed Up Treachery (x Sylus)
Warnings: none
Tags: f! Reader (pro trans blog), MC Reader
Synopsis: Sylus gets jealous and that’s never a good thing
You were in another room, getting ready for an event with a dress you picked out yourself. An off shoulder silk bell strap with the fabric reaching your ankles, dyed in soft colours and embellished beautifully, however needing to be zipped up from behind. You tried to reach it, but failed, eventually looking for your phone to ask Sylus to come help you, soon realising you left it in his room.
You groaned, holding up your dress on your chest with your hands, lightly taking footsteps to Sylus’ room. Before you could knock, you heard someone clear their throat behind you.
You looked back to see Luke, or perhaps Kieran, with a box of cufflinks for Sylus in his hand. “Oh, thank god you’re here.” You chimed. “Help me zip up my dress.”
“Uh…” The voice seemed like it belonged to Luke. “Are you sure boss won’t get mad at me?”
“What? That’s so silly.” You laughed. It was truly a small thing. You just needed help with a zipper. Luke gulped, setting the box on the table beside the door, and soon you felt a gloved hand lightly push your hair on your shoulder, and zip you up.
“I’ll give him these, thanks!” You said, referring to the cufflinks. Luke took a bow, and almost sprinted away. You picked up the box and knocked on his door, hearing a cold ‘come in’. You lightly came inside, seeing Sylus in front of the wall mirror, fixing his tie. Thankfully, it wasn’t positioned in such a way that you were visible, so you tried to sneak up on him.
“Terrible habit, kitten.” Sylus sighed, turning around to face you, his face breaking into a smile when he saw you dressed up. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” You feel heat rush up to your cheeks when you noticed Sylus wasn’t looking away from you. You shied away, handing him the box. “Your cufflinks.”
“Help me put them on?” Sylus asked, opening the box and taking them out. You clumsily took the cufflinks, and his large hands, taking your time with it, discarding the box on his vanity. You could tell his red eyes were still on you and that made you a little conscious. “Stop staring.”
“Do you really expect me not to? Such a pretty girl, and she’s all-“ Sylus stopped for some reason. You were almost done with his cufflinks, so you looked up at his frowning expression.
“Kitten, why do you have my cufflinks in the first place?”
“Oh. I needed help with zipping up my dress, so I came to you. But Luke— well, at least I think it was Luke— was outside so I asked him to do it!” You spoke non chalantly, finally finishing up. You expected Sylus to nod in understanding and move on, but something was suddenly off about him. He looked irritated.
“You what?”
Sylus was not looking pleased, to say the least. His eyes bore into you, accusatory and hurt, as if demanding an explanation. It almost reminded you of someone else you knew. Your relationship with Sylus was inexplicable, something between business partners and actual partners, but you never actually addressed it. He’d never said it out loud, but the way he held you, looked at you, spoke of you, made everything confusing. He acted as if the two of you already belonged to each other without even a single moment that confirmed it.
Maybe this was it.
“It’s just a dress.” You rolled your eyes, stepping away to sit on the bed, but he held you back gently by your waist, making sure not to touch your skin. You looked up at him, upset yourself, thinking you did something wrong.
Sylus sighed, trying to appear less annoyed once he saw that look. “Next time, only ask me for things like this.”
You were about to say something to protest, but he continued. “Things like zipping up your dress, helping you put your heels on, braiding your hair… leave them to me, please.”
“Why?” You pushed, defying him still. You felt bad, he was being patient and gentle, but you wanted some clarity in that matter. You pulled away from him to sit down on his bed, playing with the pearls on the skirt of the dress.
“Because.” Sylus seemed to lose his patience as he moved to tower over you, his hands on either side of you. “These small moments with you are precious to me. I want all of them. I want them, and I want you,” He moved closer, his lips next to your ear, his hair tickling your cheek, “all to myself.”
There was none of that usual snark or teasing in his voice, it was just a pure, possessive, pleading tone. You wanted him to be more explicit, but only managed to let out a ‘mhm’ as he got off you, a pat on your head.
So that’s the definition you held on to, and the fact he wouldn’t take his hand off you for the rest of the evening, asking you your views on everything, making sure you didn’t drink too much, treating you with care and affection like never before. You could only lean into him, and accept all of it shamelessly, not even thinking about the eyes on you.
-x-
Bonus;
As you and Sylus retuned home, something felt amiss. “Hey, where’s Luke?” You asked Sylus, as Kieran took the keys to take the car into parking.
“He’s on clean-up duty.” You cringed hearing that. That was never a fun task.
“And for something he didn’t even do.” Kieran whispered to himself, stifling a laugh.
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kinki-cami · 1 day ago
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Nah because i would FLORISH being an independent in affini society
Like first off, im not isolated immediately that brings me up by like 45% like i can go see that forest, hang out with the (hopefully not going to bite me or give me rabies) animals pet some squirrels say hi to the hummingbirds, i can go into public and walk around, id honestly probably start skipping bc thats what ive imagined so far considering i wouldnt be as depressed as i am now
Secondly, FULL customization of what i wear just be able to look how i want without fear, probably wear my denim look but with some extra like, an ACTUAL denim skirt that looks nice, maybe makeup if i was feeling up to it
Thirdly, just exploration. This is pretty much the miscellaneous second of this post. Because theres probably no money (i assume i need to do more research) before i get to that i fuckin love research i would know every fuckin affini custom by year 5, anyway because of presumeably no money, fake shop at the mall bc hell yeah fuckin love the mall its like a mini city, youd go in like you were going to the mall and like fake "check out" with like a fake credit card or something and yahh fun but also id just like go get coffee, possibly some matcha, skip around town wearing heels WITH my denim outfit, looking all fuckin cute, go see the plants (not affini like houseplants like mint) fuck id grow some bleeding hearts, some mint, make sure to pick up plant food, bc even tho i CAN do it in the hab unit, its more fun leaving to pick stuff up, it gives you a sense of accomplishment like "yahhhh i did something today 🥰 (its a crime theres no 'fist pump' emoji, i swear there are more useless emojis than practical ones)" and because i wouldnt be in one location for 6+ hours a day (excluding sleep) i would have time to do things that i WANNA do, like finish that pokemon book that im only on kakuna out of pecharunt. And i could drink my coffee/tea and go to the game store and play magic with peoples or pokemon, i could go play some dnd, write my damn books, skip around in heels bc skipping is happy but i wanna wear heels soo yahhhh
Yeah i may occassionally get harrassed but like if im polite and express boundries im sure theyll leave me alone or at least relatively along
By the way im going based off of the two stories ive read so far aight, so if this is very biased aight. Too bad i need to read more. But also like, i can express myself two 2 stories ok? Like a girl can fantasize anyway back my fantasy
Eventually id want an affini to adopt me but like, god id be pretty happy without drugs theyd need to actively make my life miserable to make me want the drugs, like, damn. Also with the number of times im cursing in this post any and all affini rp blogs are gonna be like "stop fucking cursing little indie" and to be fair i dont like cursing at people the only time i do is when im expressing myself or am pissed off i never call anyone curse words because its mean and i dont like being mean 🥺
Uhh and i think thats all my thoughts god i had Sadistic glee read the bonus chapters of hdg a bit ago anyway gotta gp finish those, then go finish the other one that im halfway through then go read more, if anyone has any not emotionally wrecking stories feel free to send them via asks or something like i dont wanna see characters despairing but i dont mind seeing their personality erased, as long as the struggle isnt super visible or is minimal
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r1poutmygvtz · 2 days ago
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°•*⁀➷ Introduction °•*⁀➷
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TRIGGERING BLOG: BLOCK DONT REPORT
cws for my blog: ed, weed, alcohol, and nicotine use, occasional sh and suicidal thoughts/talks about attempts, occasional mentions of abuse/trauma, religious trauma, pet/family death, medicine misuse, and overdoses
please tag any posts about christianity/god with "tw christianity" and any sh posts with either "tw sh" or "tw sh implied"
links proof-checked by my awesome moot @/atlasisneverenoughx
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°•*⁀➷ About Me °•*⁀➷
Name: Vivian
Age: 16 (17 next month) im ok with adults interacting just don't be weird yk? id prefer followers/moots aged 15-22 but i'm ok with people older or younger following, i just may not interact as much (unless were already moots)
Gender/Pronouns/Sexuality: im gender apathetic/non-binary, i could care less about my gender or how i'm perceived. i use all pronouns but when asked i just say they/them or they/xem if we're close. (moots are allowed to use xey/xem for me freely btw and i encourage it!! :3) i'm aroace and pan (more specifically i rarely get crushes on people but still find some people attractive regardless of gender and i'm a sex repulsed asexual)
Diagnoses: depression, anxiety, and derealization (depersonalization is not diagnosed however im aware i deal with it and need to bring it up next session) my therapist is trying to diagnose me with ptsd and my mom wants me to get diagnosed with anorexia
Be Aware: i don't censor most things but i will tag everything i post according to what's mentioned. Another thing; i block freely and often so i apologize if you end up blocked
DNI: basic dni stuff (racist, homophobic, sexist, etc) generally bad people, NSFW/18+ blogs, anyone under 13 and men over 23 (unless we're already moots)
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Blog stuff, stats/goals, and personal tag guide below cut
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°•*⁀➷•* Blog °•*⁀➷•*
Rules
Be respectful towards everyone on my page, if you have a problem with someone then please take it to the dms
Dont argue with people through my comments or through reblogs under my posts, again, take it to the dms
Please don't cal check my wieiads, i have a food scale and weigh just about everything to be as accurate as possible, cal checking just makes me anxious about nothing
Don't send me asks saying that i need to recover, im aware but saying that means and does nothing for me, it just makes me more motivated because someone's worried about me
If i reblog something that has misinformation or something that's accidentally offensive, pleaseee let me know so i can take it down, i don't always double check like i should
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Send gr0ssp0, d!3t, m3alsp0, and occasional th!nsp0 requests to my askbox, anons are on!!
Fill out this form to get your name on my taglist for picrew/reblog games, do not reblog with tags list, and to get any trigger you want tagged with a tw tagged, staying anonymous is an option here as well!!
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°•*⁀➷•* Links °•*⁀➷•*
Apps
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Tiktok
Breezer
Step up
Masterlinks (in progress)
Wieiads
M3alsp0
Diets
Gr0ssp0
Th!nsp0
Tips/Advice
Music
Picrews
Tag/Reblog Games
Ask Games
Moot Related
Recipes
Others
Anonymous Emojis in Use
TWS Added to Posts
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°•*⁀➷•* Stats °•*⁀➷•*
Height: 166cm
HW/SW: 136.6lbs
HBMI/SBMI: 25
LW: 98.6lbs
LBMI: 16.2
CW: ~113lbs
CBMI: 18.6
UGW: 90lbs
UGBMI: 15
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°•*⁀➷•* Goals °•*⁀➷•*
GW1: 110lbs
GW2: 105lbs
GW3: 100lbs
GW4: 95lbs
UGW: 90lbs
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°•*⁀➷ Tag Guide °•*⁀➷
There's a lot and most are self explanatory but in case you were wondering here's all of them :3
#gvtz- all my posts/reblogs
#gvtz life- talking about what's going on in my life, reblogging things i relate to
#gvtz rants/vents/rambles- my posts where i rant/vent/ramble and talk too much or let my mind wander while typing
#gvtz eats- wieiad
#gvtz cooks- recipes or talking about cooking
#gvtz works out- talks about exercising, progress, and anything fitness related
#gvtz asks- answering asks!!
#gvtz moots- reblogging moots stuff, playing reblog games with moots, moot related posts, or when my moot sends an ask
#gvtz will eat- meal plans/ideas
#gvtz 👙- th1nsp0
#gvtz 🍽️- m3alsp0
#gvtz diets- diet requests or diet related posts
#gvtz 🤢- gr0ssp0
#gvtz music- sharing my music or talking about music
#gvtz wants to eat :((- complaining about cravings probably, or complaining about not having food that i want
#gvtz advice- giving advice to asks!!
#gvtz is unstable- talking about mental problems other than an ed like mood swings, hallucinations, etc
#gvtz is productive??- talking about things/chores i did, planning my day
#gvtz kitty :3- posts about harley!!
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ask-ruikasa-official · 1 year ago
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Kohane, can I give you a hug and a forehead kiss? You’re just adorable and remind me of my little cousins-
”oh, sure! thank you!” [ 🐹 ]
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heartorbit · 1 year ago
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a mob of emus for an artstyle game on twt! ^_^
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hermitcraftx · 2 months ago
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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hero-dualies-3 · 5 months ago
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i think i finally get all those “maybe we could do with a little less shipping in fandom. this is not a complaint but a cry for help” aromantic posts
#>be me#>aro#>find a piece of work that speaks to me deeply#>the character dynamics are fascinating and i want to see more of it#>check out the fandom#>half of it is shipping#>not only that but there is also a fuck ton of absolutely rancid ship discourse#>so shippers act like they are absolutely persecuted for shipping x ship#>see the absolutely batshit take of “seeing the characters as siblings is bad because they act toxic to each other-#obviously the better interpretation is toxic yaoi”#>also see the equally as bad take “these characters are BASICALLY BROTHERS and if you ship them IT’S BASICALLY INCEST”#>they are not canonically lovers nor siblings#>they just exist in the same space#>… why#>it’s like wanting to study bugs in a place with no bugs. so you import the bugs. like yeah it’s harmless but why did you go to the trouble#of bringing the bugs here when there aren’t any bugs and people aren’t here for bugs. instead of idk. going to a place with bugs??#>the shippers are complaining about how people hate their ship and there’s not enough of it (at least half of the fandom ships them)#>not a whole lot of people but a few hate on the ship and like 6x the amount of haters immediately start screaming at the haters#>the homestuck fandom handled this better. please guys#>people may not like your ship. block. move on#>people may ship something that you see as an absolute insult to the themes of the work. block. move on#>and like yeah i get that this is the singular ship in the entire fandom so there’s gonna be more of it#>but i am starving for purely platonic content. please.#>i do not want to continue having to willfully misinterpret romantic/familial content as platonic#>i’m going back to the “homestuck fandom handled this better” point actually#>like there is an honest to god blog called “this ship is better than davekat”#>and i can guarantee that if i tried to make an equivalent blog in this fandom i would be killed instantly#>generally it’s not a great place to be as a platonic relationships enjoyer which sucks because the canon material is cool as shit#>the only thing i can think of to do is wait like a year to see if this situation resolves itself#>and hope to god that there’s more platonic content by then
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triglycercule · 15 days ago
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yada yada happy halloween to these FREAKS (and you guys :3 and myself i gusss :3) doodle from art class that i GUESS could be considered halloween...... idk ok idk ok something was up with me when i drew this
#look killer would like being praised more but to be fair since when has anyone been truly canon with him#to make myself not tweak out i can just pretend this is my fanon#i mean like mtt to me is the epitome of finding slight comfort in suffering when theyre not beating eachother up#dust and horror are affirming killer's terrible thoughts about himself!! how sweet :3 <3 theyre so made for eachother#horror looks like he has a second eye but dont be fooled i just didnt shade that in#i NEED to lock in on that animation. i dont think i have any homework today#i just have a short worksheet and then i'm good to draw i really should really really should im so sorry#disappointed in myself smh more than any of YOU ever will be#originally this was gonna be them in their halloween costumes looking down but then i was like#wait i dont wanna draw killer so ierased him and then just put horror and dust in their normal outfits bc i liked it#and i was like hold up hold up i gotta include killer somehow. SOMEHOW.and then this is the resuly#listen these guys dont freak around but they do various other things that are almost just as freaky as sex#that was more of a side blog thought triglycercule. i know. i will elaborate more there i guess#i ate so much candy today!!! and i didnt even go trick or treating!!!!!#theyre so smitted and enamoured with eachother :333 i love that for them#theyre so cannibalism core. theyre so if i cant have you nobody can core. theyre not soulmates but instead eachothers curse. theyre so UGH#only the murder time trio can match the other 2's freaks i fear nobody else can#its either less crazy or more crazy and these 3 are the perfect amount of balanced to even the other 2 out#i love that one kist animatic that that one really cool twitter kist artist drew#i know theres probably a really good horrordust animatic out there somewhere 2#WHERES THE HORRORKILLER ANIMATIC HUH!!!! WHERE!!!!!!!#horrorkiller once again left out of the trio duo ships......... this is biased i fear#people just hate to see unhealthy bitched unhealthy smh. they can handle toxic kist but they cant handle toxic hrkl???? BLASPHEMY#triglycercule's rambling again (like a dementia patient) i should get to work#i found my first ever sand au fan out in the wild today. this is a moment in history i fear#i will never find another sans au fan in the world until i pass 30 years of age and im sad but whatever#i cant wait to get a job so i can start ordering stickers of my trio#i cant WAIT to get a pinmaker one day and start my very own mtt ita bag#i want a pinmaker so bad god. just so i can staple their faces all over#tricule rant
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wolpatinga · 3 months ago
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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flight-freedom · 4 months ago
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Sext: Let me cook you something...
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girlwiththegreenhat · 9 months ago
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you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance
and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now
#liz blogs#vocaloid#this post is about project se\\kai. what a garbage ass replacement of project diva oh my god#i dont care about any of these random ass teenagers why does my vocaloid game have all these other guys in it#why are there 238928934 currencies why does it take so long to unlock new songs its just all too much and so convoluted#i wanted a rhythm game not a rhythm game that takes a backseat to visual novel and gacha game and watch 3298 ads#GET THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUTTA HERE#i thought rhythm game on a touchscreen was a bad enough idea but i wanted to be FAIR because project diva doesnt get updated anymore#even though that was THE vocaloid game for a fucking decade and they replaced it with hot flaming dogshit oh my god#its just every other fucking mobile game im gonna start biting people#im in my Hater Year but i'm actually fucking right about everything aaaAAAAAAAAA#and look. i didn't play it for too long because it was just too fucking annoying and overwhelming. but it seems like you can only#play x amount of songs in a day before you run out of energy. which you need to Buy#you get more when you level up! it recharges! but it seems that it takes longer and longer to do that#thts the only Complaint i have that i cant actually verify because i would need to play longer and i am Not doing that#but if im right. thats the biggest load of shit of all#just go back to making project diva games. let me pay for the game so i can play interrupted without all this other BS in my face#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#the like... two little visual novel bits i saw that Just had vocaloids in them were cute. i will be real with u. but who are these like#six teams of random ass teenagers i dont know and dont care about. why did u put non vocaloids in da vocaloid game. are you nuts#maybe i just need to figure out how to mod project diva cuz at this point lord knows theyre not doing anything else with it#if you wanted to have other characters sega do u know how many Other vocaloids there are. you didnt have to invent random boring teenagers#pullin a fuckin transformers and backseating your Title Characters to a bunch of random ass humans im not here for#except you charlie watson from bumblebee i love you mwah
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moonlit-orchid · 6 months ago
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good evening to everyone except a certain few fucking anons
#go fuck yourselves like seriously what the fuck#im so sick of this#this is about the last two anons by the way. i havent gotten any more because i turned off anon asks#if you wanna know why anon asks are off blame those two assholes#seriously that stupid shits been getting to my head#you know why? because every fucking person around here (especially my mum) LOVES to criticise me and accuse me of victimising myself#literally every fucking thing i do is wrong around here down to my hair#all these fucking adults like to bully me about MY hair#fuck you if i want bangs I'll keep the bangs#literally it seems like they're just doing whatever they can to change me into someone else. someone they want#this fucking culture of mine is so shitty i swear to god#like they think that BULLYING you is people being honest with you#and that if someone's nice to you theyre shittalking you behind your back#(honestly considering some of the people i see i wouldn't be surprised)#and im not even doing anything thats WRONG either. im different and not one of these people can tolerate that#yeah my mum sent me a video of a goat with curly hair and implied she thinks my bangs are like that. in a derogatory manner btw#so yeah that's had me pissed and then the fucking anons were also making me pissed#fuck you I'm gonna be as selfish as i want when i post on MY blog#this blog is MINE#I decide what i write and how much i wanna shittalk someone who upset me to get my feelings out. if anyone wants to call me selfish fuck you#and you know what? fuck That Person too. they geniunely messed me up more than they helped me#yes. im still gonna talk about them. im still gonna complain because FUCK YOU I NEED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW OKAY#I NEED THIS SHIT OUT OF ME AND IT GETS BACK INTO MY HEAD SO I NEED IT OUTSIDE#and fuck you anons who gave your unwanted opinion. if you cant say anything nice SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS#i was taken advantage of and manipulated#and apparently I'm the bad guy for small mistakes like excuse me#and then that person even told a friend of theirs once to attack me (over text) like what#i just cant anymore it needs to be fucking out#and im not sorry for complaining about this because this is my blog and i will complain on here. this blog is for ME. for MY happiness.#and as such i will fucking complain shit and i will fucking post my vents because thats the only way i can send these emotions off for good
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soweli-musi · 7 months ago
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Yous should see our lists of drawings to do....... and half abandoned projects ehehe. Oh god and how often we remember to message people oh dear me my texting records,
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firendgold · 1 year ago
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If you're still doing the choose violence ask game: 2 (👀), 9, 10, 22 ?
I got such a rush from finally answering the first ask that I'm doing this for as long as people send me questions. So here we go again!
2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom
anon, I'm at work. I'm seeing this at work. :'D
Okay, serious face. Albus Dumbledore is probably my fave if I have to choose between him and Harry on this blog. I just have to figure out why he would never...
Bottom. Albus would never, I'm sorry. He won't. He can't. Like, maybe when he was having his whirlwind summer romance with Gellert, he bottomed every single time they fucked because he was so in love and this was his equal and his partner and so what if he was a little rough and distant sometimes in the bedroom, and always wanted to top and tug his hair and hiss out orders? This was The Man The Universe Had Crafted For Him, and he would absolutely bottom for him every time... and then the summer of 1899 ends. And Ariana dies. And Aberforth breaks Albus' nose. And Gellert fucks off to go be a fascist.
And Albus, alone and heartbroken, resolves to never trust someone that completely again, never love someone that same way, and never let anyone get into a position of power over him where they might be able to use his knowledge and talents for ill. That means physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically... carnally. So he has sex with plenty of other people, and even falls in love with a few of them, but he is in control at all times. He never bottoms again.
That's all I've got for that one.
9. worst part of canon
So the first answer that came to mind is posted here, but for fairness' sake I'll try to come up with another worst thing. (That's not related to ships, because I'm trying really hard not to be THAT violent on the violence ask game.)
I think... that if That Woman was going to introduce international schools, students and characters in the middle book of the series, she should have done more with them than having them vanish after Goblet of Fire, only to come back for either fake romantic tension and one line of exposition about the Hitler allegory Dark Lord of the Before-Times (Krum, Deathly Hallows) or to be married off to a Weasley for an aesop of It's Not About His Looks Now That They're Jacked Up (Fleur, Half-Blood Prince). I'm not saying Fleur and Viktor HAD to be best buddies forever with Harry, but it is weird that they have this unique bond that no other young students have had with each other in hundreds of years, they even lost one of their fellow champions, Dumbledore gives this very moving speech about remaining connected and not letting darkness and prejudice sever new ties, and then... nothing. No side adventures in France or wherever Durmstrang is, no communication from either side, nothing.
Feels like a huge letdown in hindsight.
10. worst part of fanon
Oh, no. That's not fair. There's just so many.
If I had to consolidate what I currently don't like about the HP fandom/fanon into a few lines, I think I would say that I hate the pureblood/Dark side apologism. I do believe in nuance in characters. I do believe redemption and/or walking different paths is an important theme in Harry Potter, and I think it's fascinating to explore that with any and every character you can think of, even characters I may not personally like. But I really, really hate the way the fandom has taken that and twisted it into this idea that we were sold a lie at the start: that the British magical government was fine the way it was, and so was the society around it; that Dark magic Isn't All That Bad, Really, and there are actually Good and non-prejudiced things about a few rich bitches passing down their knowledge and secrets and slurs for generations within the Family, and keeping the Family "Pure" is cool actually, and none of this has any relation to real life ideas about miscegenation and classism and racism and eugenics, what are you talking about?
It's just so worrying. As a minority, when I see people on tumblr/twitter/AO3 gleefully agreeing that we need to eat the rich and fix society and eradicate all the horrid -isms and -archys ruining all our lives, then watch them turn around and write a 200k epic where Dumbledore was the evil one for locking the Horcrux books away and championing marginalized members of society, Hermione is just uppity for wanting to make necessary changes to the darker parts of magical society that That Woman was literally pointing out for a reason, and Tom Riddle is only bad because he took the good segregationist pureblood ideas and added murder to them... and when that fic gets thousands of comments agreeing with them full stop with no examination of any of that... it makes me anxious, at a minimum. The same thing is happening now with Grindelwald now that he's actually a figure on the screen and not just some dude mentioned a few times in the book series: same apologism, same justification of atrocities, same good-guy-blame-games, same blorbofication even.
On the one hand... fiction doesn't always directly reflect or affect reality. On the other... this unironic pro-pureblood meta is a pervasive concept that has popped up in thousands of fics written by thousands of fanfic writers. It's happened for years, and it keeps happening, and I see very few fans speaking out against it or even acknowledging it as a problem. So that makes me ask myself, who actually is willing and able to examine the injustices of our society and build a better imaginary society through the lens of HP fanfiction, and who's okay with the prejudice in the HP world as long as it's coming from the faves they're attracted to?
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
Happily, this is a harder question to answer because I've been finding so many like minds in the past 5 years who go feral over the same 20 HP scenes as I do. ^^ But give me a sec, I'll think of something.
...
Okay. Got it.
In order to answer this question, I have to go back to the first time I, young teenager, avid reader, recent reader of the HP series once book 5 was out, realized that Harry and Dumbledore had a much deeper relationship than just headmaster and student. The thing that made me latch on to them and project like crazy, basically.
It's the scene in Goblet of Fire chapter 36 where Harry has been rescued from Fake Moody and he's in Dumbledore's office with Dumbledore and Sirius. Dumbledore asks Harry to relay everything that happened to him once he touched the Portkey in the maze—and immediately Sirius tries to protect Harry from having to relive it now, so soon after it's happened. And then this scene happens.
Dumbledore stopped talking. He sat down opposite Harry, behind his desk. He was looking at Harry, who avoided his eyes. Dumbledore was going to question him. He was going to make Harry relive everything. “I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry,” said Dumbledore. “We can leave that till morning, can’t we, Dumbledore?” said Sirius harshly. He had put a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Let him have a sleep. Let him rest.” Harry felt a rush of gratitude toward Sirius, but Dumbledore took no notice of Sirius’s words. He leaned forward toward Harry. Very unwillingly, Harry raised his head and looked into those blue eyes. “If I thought I could help you,” Dumbledore said gently, “by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell us what happened.” The phoenix let out one soft, quavering note. It shivered in the air, and Harry felt as though a drop of hot liquid had slipped down his throat into his stomach, warming him, and strengthening him. He took a deep breath and began to tell them. As he spoke, visions of everything that had passed that night seemed to rise before his eyes; he saw the sparkling surface of the potion that had revived Voldemort; he saw the Death Eaters Apparating between the graves around them; he saw Cedric’s body, lying on the ground beside the cup. Once or twice, Sirius made a noise as though about to say something, his hand still tight on Harry’s shoulder, but Dumbledore raised his hand to stop him, and Harry was glad of this, because it was easier to keep going now he had started. It was even a relief; he felt almost as though something poisonous were being extracted from him. It was costing him every bit of determination he had to keep talking, yet he sensed that once he had finished, he would feel better.
This is one of the best scenes in the entire book, the entire series. It completely refutes the fanon Dumbledore who is often cold, cruel, inflexible and unrelenting in his quest for whatever the author wants him to be inflexible and cruel about at the time. It shows that Dumbledore, the real Albus Dumbledore, is one of the few people who understands what Harry needs and is able to provide it to him, even when others who also care for Harry would rather protect him or shield him from what he needs.
Kid me was particularly taken by how gentle Dumbledore is with Harry here. It made me look back and see how in some ways this scene, this closeness, is the culmination of all the times they've met and spoken before.
(You can imagine how painful it was reading Order of the Phoenix right after this.)
But yeah, that's probably one of my favorite scenes that other people ignore or haven't talked about/drawn/written about much. Which is ironic, because the scene right after that where Harry talks about Voldemort taking his blood and Dumbledore's eyes do the triumphant "lol Voldemort just fucked up" gleam is probably one of THE most talked-about scenes in the fandom (even though to this fucking day in 2023 people still don't realize what the gleam meant, when even That Woman has clarified what it meant in INTERVIEWS).
...And for me, safely at the end of the questions, that's all she wrote.
#fireandgoldposts#thanks for the ask!#choose violence ask game#Albus Dumbledore#not y'all making me put more gr*ndeld*re on this blog :') I forgive you tho#it's my own fault for having that headcanon. and to think I didn't think I'd be able to answer that question#I'm poking a real bear by finally talking about how much I hate the pureblood politics/pureblood supremacy/misunderstood bad guys trifecta#another thing that was perhaps interesting 20 years ago when people first started doing it but is now stale and infuriating#since it's now seen as fact and not fiction#the fiction of fiction even#I can't believe I didn't just write ''the worst part of fanon is every independent!Harry/manipulative!Dumbledore fanfic ever written#that's growth for me#oh god the worst part about no expanded roles for Fleur and Krum is that most fans only give Fleur an extended role#when they're SHIPPING HER WITH HARRY as some kind of ''ooh foreign beauty'' thing where he naturally resists her allure#and oh my god here comes the nausea again because flowerpot is another ship that's been done to death the very same way haphne/wolfstar has#and I love Krum/Hermione as much as the next person but fanon Krum is like NEVER allowed to move on from Hermione unless he's gay/bi#which is VERY rare to see. like please give me Harry/Krum fanfic recs if you have them#or Ron/Krum because that is so narratively satisfying#honorable mention for question 22 would probably go to the scene where Hermione and Ron try to get Harry to go to Dumbledore in year 5#after they find out what Umbridge is doing to him in detention and Harry just. CAN'T. properly explain why he doesn't want to go#but he's thinking about how Dumbledore has ''ignored him since last June'' and it's one of the few times we see him acknowledge that hurts#he mentions it several times throughout the book in his thoughts but that's one of the first times he refuses help from Albus#even though Albus would help him in a heartbeat oh my GOD it's been like 20 years since that book came out and I'm still feral about those#Goblet of Fire#Fleur Delacour#Viktor Krum#pureblood propaganda#and how much I am anti-that lmao#not fireandgold#oh my god having to reformat this every 3 hours because the bolds and italics won't stick is a fucking NIGHTMARE
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deathxproof · 1 year ago
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hm, out of all of the things I was expecting when I slowly started putting myself back in fandom spaces, “unresolved trauma from being an autistic kid/teen who was always perceived as Too Much” wasn’t on the list, to be quite honest.
#ooc !#maybe I’ll unpack this more on my personal blog later. Who’s to say. not me certainly.#but yeah the amount of friendships/relationships I had from like. elementary school to high school(to even some of college)#where like. it’s suddenly revealed to me incredibly late that I’m being seen as overbearing / overwhelming / needing or being Too Much#and by then there is no fixing it yknow. by then they’re just telling you to get you to fuck off (or telling other people and not you lol)#(that happened way more often in online fandom spaces)(but tbh my hang-ups in online fandom spaces)#(come WAY MORE from like. interactions with Very Particular People)#(who self-admitted to like. actively trying to dig up dirt that didn’t exist on people ‘just in case’.)(or if they just didn’t like someone#(they aren’t around here anymore but nevertheless the few times we interacted and they tried that w me made me paranoid for ages </3333)#ANYWAYS if you read this far: hiiiiiiiii#i’m doing fine but oh god the weird nostalgic loneliness of being That Kid really hit me all at once#I’m still so bad at making friends now because of all of this naksdak#like I have to put effort into keeping up with people or else I’ll accidentally hold myself back / kind of isolate#under the assumption of like ‘oh you don’t want to scare this person away do you? you don’t want to be overbearing right?’#and it’s like. hey. hey brain. hey bitch. we gotta talk to people to actually form relationships with them. that’s how this works.#vent#anyways I gotta go build a closet now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ...
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thedreadvampy · 2 years ago
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the desperate urge to compliment someone online I think is super gorgeous and absolute Butch Goals Vs the utter terror of coming across creepy or making them feel surveilled or voyeured about: FIGHT
#red said#this is why I'm so bad at flirting. bc before i initiate contact with ANYONE I have to go through a 6 month panic period#where i run through scripts in my head and worry about coming off as weird or creepy or parasocial#and the longer that goes on the more sure i am that if i speak to them they will immediately know that bc of this anxiety#i have spent thinking about them. not bc I'm obsessed with them but bc i am concerned about how weird it might make them feel#and then I'm also like WOW NARCISSISTIC OF YOU TO THINK THEY'LL EVEN NOTICE YOUR COMMENT#LET ALONE CARE#god you are truly the WORST what an AWFUL way to think why can't you just be NORMAL#and the whole time the 'creepy' thing i wanted to say in the first place was like#'you're really cool' or 'i love your jacket' or 'i hope you're ok'#it isn't just attraction stuff either. i have invited a friend from work out for a drink ONCE in my life.#and it took a year AND only happened bc she was upset after a conflict at work so i could tell she needed to vent#like I'm SO BAD at this bc large or small any kind of initiating contact is like#wow ok so YOU THINK. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR TIME. YOU'RE GOING TO PUT THEM ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT.#and it's so ANNOYING cause it's like. my dude. nobody thinks that about you. you have friends. most people like compliments.#and anyway when i do give compliments it's always in the most casual way possible bc of these anxieties#i don't ever want anyone to feel like. trapped by my regard.#but it's so dumb it's literally the tiniest smallest things#it's why I've always been bad at making friends online. i just silently follow people's blogs and like things.#i have also been known to do the IRL version of that. hovering near the edge of people's groups trying to like. mentally project regard.#which GUESS WHAT!!! comes off way creepier than just saying hey man you look amazing i love your whole vibe#AAAAAAAAAA#(davide this is also why i followed your blog so hard for like 500 years but got very afraid of ever acknowledging you might know who i am)
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