#//also this reply is terrible

[mohntilyet]

about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.

im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown

no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i don’t remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. i’m discounting possessions and dwarves)

i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear there’s a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big “illario is being influenced and doesn’t even know” reveal— same as you anon like great minds am i right— but i’m not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by “oh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magic”

it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so i’m not too fussed abt these details lol🤔

the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spite’s wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)

[chloesimaginationthings]

Shueisha color teasers dropped! thoughts on the pallettes?

Okay quick rundown of what I think!

I think Jodio and Dragona look the best, I’m glad they kept Jodio’s colours, and Dragona looks more or less what I expected!

Though I’m not in love with the orange outfit for dragona, I think green or purple would have looked way better! Paco is fine, though I think his hair should have been a dirty blonde.

And I’m so sorry Usagi enjoyers, he’s a lost cause, they made him tingle. They feared to let him slay, they debuffed him. It almost looks alright but then they made the hat neon blue,,, should of been at least red to at least compliment just a lil

I think everyone else’s colours are fine! Though kinda just standard, and I do love November rain, I won with him having blue!! (Looks like weather report which is super cool)

Tbh I can get use to these colours, EVEN though I’ll probably still use the colour palettes I’ve been using, not like Shueisha colours are canon, It’s disappointing they just used palettes from certain Araki paintings over trying to make their own decisions on palettes

Jodio is fine, seeing Araki used it multiple times so it feels like that is what Jodio is supposed to look like, but taking from a painting where the whole point is to be one certain colour scheme, where everyone matches (Araki does these types of paintings a lot) feels somewhat misguided and will make Dragona, Paco and Usagi blend together and while Jodio will stand out.

I feel like there should be more variety of colours amongst the group, similar to how Golden Winds cast are all defined by one colour. I felt like it was too soon to give them colours, but again maybe I’ll warm up to them,

Definitely still using my own palettes whenever I feel like drawing them again🩵🩵🩵

[seriousbrat]

you said james changed but did he? no apology in sight... still tricking lily and going behind her back to hex snape.. leaving his wife and newborn alone in their secret hiding spot to mess with muggles..

genuinely lol what is this 'leaving their hiding spot to mess with muggles' thing, I think you're the second anon who has claimed something like that recently and it's like.... where lmao. when did that happen? who r these muggles? 😭

if you're referring to the prequel, that was almost certainly, like 100% certainly, before harry was born when lily and james were fighting for the Order along with the rest of the Marauders and not in hiding. This is what Lily says, years later, in her letter to Sirius:

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell -- also, Dumbledore's still got his Invisibility Cloak, so no chance of little excursions. If you could visit, it would cheer him up so much.

doesn't that imply he wasn't sneaking out? and if he had left the hiding spot in the past it was "little excursions" with Lily's full knowledge and approval, with the safety of the cloak. I don't see the big deal, and it's possible that Lily was leaving the house on occasion too when they had the cloak.

people are so determined to see things in the worst possible light it's kind of funny. It's not enough that James was a dickhead and a bully in canon, he has to be this insidious abusive master manipulator guy who somehow conned Lily "you make me SICK" Evans into marrying her and having a kid with him. Like, no offence but it's just not that deep.

We don't see how he changed because the story isn't about him, it's about his son, but there's plenty of evidence that he did, a BIG example being that a girl who couldn't stand the sight of him and was extremely vocal about the fact ended up marrying him. Something changed, and it's just highly unlikely that James, a fictional character, constructed an elaborate ruse behind the scenes that we see no evidence for to trick Lily, and every other character, into thinking he was an entirely different person. If that had been the author's intent for these characters who, btw, do not exist outside the text we're given, there would be proof of it. Rather, we're given evidence he 'deflated his head' and that lily fell in love with him and that they were happy together.

I've already said it but I don't think James not telling her about fighting with Snape (who, let it be said, at that point was also instigating) is a good thing. Obviously. It's dishonest and he should have told her. But I also think a likely reason he didn't tell her was not wanting to hurt her. That doesn't make it okay, but there can be problems and slip-ups and things to work through in a relationship without it being some big evil insidious manipulation.

Sev hid all sorts of things from her too, important things like "I'm thinking about joining the Death Eaters btw lol". People lie and hide things, especially teens. Maybe the simplest explanation here, rather than this weird jamespiracy thing, is that a seventeen year old boy was kind of shit sometimes but ultimately dedicated his life to protecting others, fought bravely in a war, grew tf up, and sacrificed himself to save his wife and child.

idk like to me it's not that deep, and it's continually bonkers to me that some snape fans will have wildly different standards for their innocent baby boy (idk him) than they do for every other character. bro did way worse stuff than not telling his gf he was getting into fights, james did worse stuff, and yet I still love them both and u wont convince me not to

[rapidhighway]

Ahahaaaa oh my goddd can you not make "ADHD undereating" and "ADHD overeating" into a competition of who has it worse and who has nothing to complain about, that'd be awesome

[homielander]

that scene of homelander assuring ryan he doesn't have to do any stupid tv shows was really sweet. (taking that guy's wallet and keys was hilarious 😭) love how he's always asking ryan how he's feeling and making sure to make decisions based on what's best for him, i know people are going to say he's manipulating him but it's wholesome and shows how much hl wants better for ryan!! he outright said the equivalent of "i'm sorry for manipulating you"

i think you're correct in how you interpreted homelander's intentions. he really does want to do better for his son and allow him autonomy. of course, the way homelander is raising ryan is (despite his very best intentions) coloured by a severely warped worldview. homelander genuinely does not see the point in helping regular people as ryan hopes to do. it's clear from past seasons that he enjoys his saves for two reasons: the validation and approval he receives from the people he saves, and the opportunity to inflict harm on the people he should simply be apprehending. and he's resolved to no longer rely on people's approval, so even though he immediately supports ryan's stated goal, humiliating adam is the only way he can conceive of making this moment fun and fulfilling for both of them. and he wants to share everything with his son, after all! so i wouldn't label it deliberate manipulation... more like a misguided bonding attempt. at worst, homelander would say he was trying to ensure ryan saw eye-to-eye with him.

i think what people can fail to grasp when it comes to less-than-ideal relationships in fiction (yes, i know this is an understatement for ryan and homelander) is that there is often love there, and sometimes there is even growth, and acknowledging that does not mean that everyone is blind to the more troubling aspects of these relationships. you can enjoy what positive moments do exist. i support your right to find these scenes sweet!!

[many-but-one]

Trauma Informed Biases and TERFs

In light of my ex-best friend being outed as a TERF, I think I want to have a series of discussions. Mainly about the biases that we (community "we") can have and that trauma and biases work hand in hand, and how we cannot allow trauma-informed biases impact our decision making or critical thinking skills, but also a bit about my experiences as a trans man and how being trans yourself doesn't mean you automatically escape transmisogyny. (Spoiler alert: while I'd never say I was transmisogynistic in action, I was in some part biased due to my past traumas, and having a transfemme partner and seeing the way she's treated by others just for existing had to make me rethink everything I understood about what it meant to be a trans woman, which has made me a better person--and I believe a better partner, too.)

First, I'm going to talk a bit about trauma-informed biases. As trauma survivors, we all have them. For example, we were primarily abused by white, Christian men. By all accounts, when we encounter a white, Christian man, we are immediately wary of his intentions. Often without even knowing him or trying to know him, we will already assume he's just like our abusers deep down. While that may sometimes be true, more often than not, a white Christian male who hasn't done much self reflection and growth will mainly just be misogynistic to various degrees and probably not understand the weight of his privilege. That doesn't automatically make him a pedophile who tortures kids like our abusers were.

Branching off from that, and narrowing it down, we get to the meat of the problem, which is men. We have met and known cis men who are by all accounts nothing like our abusers, in fact, the exact opposite. They are sensitive, they are caring, they know their privilege and use it to uplift the voices of their female friends. They are avid supporters of the queer community even if they aren't a part of it. While they are sometimes misguided, they are also always open to learn more and be corrected and change. There are good men out there. However, this doesn't make our bias towards men change. We were hurt by men, we know others who have been hurt by men. People both AFAB and AMAB have been harmed and subjugated by men for centuries, so it's not like it's coming from only our experiences with men.

However, this is where the problem lies. While it's okay to be wary of men for our safety, outright hating ALL men is where it gets dicey. That's where radfem ideology will suck people in, specifically AFAB people. They feel wronged by men, they have been hurt by men, so of course in their mind, men have to pay in some way. Feminism on its own sets to destroy the patriarchy and keep everyone on even ground, whereas radfem ideology often trickles into spaces related to that vengeance aspect of men needing to pay for what they have done in some way. And truly, I can understand. From the bottom of my heart, I can understand. I want the men who hurt me and hurt my friends to pay too. Vengeance (or justice, as many would prefer to call it) is a tantalizing concept, even if only in theory due to how shoddy the justice system is at actually bringing any justice to survivors' lives.

And when an AFAB person enters a radfem space, they will immediately be in danger of developing TERF ideology. This is what happened to the aforementioned friend. Most people will already know who I'm talking about. I think they started in a good place, but the biases that they already held within them were taken advantage of, and they let their trauma-informed biases take root and allow them to follow that TERF path. For the record, they still deny being a TERF, but as everyone has already seen, they most certainly are. TERFs will *rarely* actually self-identify as a TERF, even if they are spouting the most clearly TERF-ridden ideology known to man. The reason for this is because TERF is a "bad word" (rightfully so) and the baby radfems out there who are trying to avoid becoming a TERF are going to start by avoiding anyone who self-identifies as a TERF. Which of course, is not what TERFs want. They want baby radfems to feel welcome and not immediately shun what they teach them, because TERFs do eventually want those anti-TERF baby radfems to eventually become TERFs just like them.

[As a side tangent: I know I sound like I'm calling TERFs predatory in the way I describe their tactics, but I'm going to be completely honest in the way I believe a lot of TERFs utilize cult tactics to find new radfems or radfems who are on the fence between feminism and radical feminism and get them to join their cause. If you examine the BITE model (Behavior, Information, Thought, Emotion)--what is often used to define a cult--it's very clear that TERFs WILL use emotion-based tactics and manipulative tactics to get baby radfems to join their cause, and once their thought processes get changed and they lose their friends who don't jive with those beliefs, they get stuck in the echo chamber. And then they'll get pressured to believe more and more extreme things with the threat of ostracization from the "in-group" for not agreeing. And if someone has already lost all of their friends for joining this in-group in the first place, where else to go but to stay? See what I'm getting at, here? While they may not be as damaging to their own members as some cults, they DO cause a threat to others, namely transfemmes. People in power who share those beliefs make laws that distinctly work to harm transfemmes, e.g. JK Rowling providing massive amounts of funding towards anti-trans legislature.]

So how does this relate to trauma-informed biases? How do we get from disliking or hating men to becoming a TERF? Well, because TERFs utilize bioessentialism as a weapon. They reduce everyone down to the parts that they have (or were observed to have) at birth. While a TERF may not outright say "everyone born with a penis deserves to die" they WILL outright say things like "well, I just think AFAB people ("real women") should be allowed to have spaces that are only for them, you know? They shouldn't be forced to be around women who aren't AFAB" (if they will even acknowledge that trans women are women at all, more often they consider trans women to be men masquerading as women or accuse transfemmes of outright trying to invade women's spaces to hurt them). This is especially apparent in the lesbian side of TERFdom, where they try to use the justification of "not being attracted to penises" to explain that trans women shouldn't be allowed in their spaces. Which, to be completely honest, I do think it's fine to be attracted to certain genitalia and turned off by other people's genitalia, but you also shouldn't let that guide you toward completely excluding trans women from lesbian spaces. You can just choose to not date trans women and call it a day. Is it pretty lame to reduce someone to a set of parts and only date someone based on a set of parts? Yeah, it is, but you're within your rights to date who you want to. You just shouldn't exclude them from the entire space altogether based on your preferences.

For the record, I used to be part of this group of people right here. There was nothing I had against trans women, I was just extremely terrified of the parts they have due to my past traumas, and I didn't want to make a trans woman feel like I was afraid of them for the parts that they have. I didn't want my fear of sexual situations with her to ruin whatever romantic attraction we could have, and I was certain for a long time that this would be true forever.

Until I met my current partner, who is a trans woman.

I'm going to segue into how being a trans man (technically we are genderfluid but we usually present as a trans man to most people) doesn't automatically mean you cannot hold biases against trans women or even be outright transmisogynistic, and that while I do believe trans men have their own slew of issues related to being trans men (such as being perceived as a traitor to your AGAB, or the first time you get clocked as your correct gender but not in the gender affirming way, in the way that the women that you have always held so much community with think you're a cis man and are afraid of you. That's a tough one to come to terms with, personally, and is also why our system tends to lay within the "butch lesbian/faggy trans guy" section of transmasc, so that while we definitely do get clocked more often, it also helps the women we care about so much in our communities know we're not cis. Because no, our goal is not to be to be as cis as cis can be and so our gender ambiguity that we express does us a lot of favors while also opening other doors for trouble, like harassment for appearing as a faggy trans guy or as someone who's clocked as a lesbian) they are a completely different ballgame than what trans women have to deal with on a daily basis just for existing as they do.

Things I've learned about trans women's experiences that I never knew before:

-They may never be able to fully pass and that puts them in danger of harassment or even death for the rest of their lives

-if they come off as too loud or too intense for someone, they will immediately see them as a danger even if the transfemme in question is one of the kindest human beings you've ever had the pleasure of meeting

-if they don't talk in the somewhat-stereotypical "quiet, demure, trans girl" voice or for any reason dress in a more butch or non-hyperfeminine style, they are going to be seen as a threat despite any actions they will have done to prove they are not a threat

-if a trans woman likes to be around kids, some people are going to immediately assume they're a pedophile. This one deeply saddens and disgusts me more than I can even describe

-if they are talkative or ask a lot of questions about something and they come off as a little too pushy or are socially awkward/autistic, people are going to immediately assume they need to be afraid of her despite there being no evidence of that being a conclusion that needs to be jumped to, or they may label her as "creepy"

-if she decides not to opt for sex change surgeries then she's clearly just a man pretending to be a woman, if she opts for sex change surgeries, she's a trap. Same for if she passes well or not. If she passes well, she's a trap, if she doesn't pass well, she's a freak

-people will assume she's always trying to manipulate them in some way, as mentioned above. If she passes well, she's manipulating them and tricked them (usually for sex, but could also happen in a romantic situation). If she tries to disclose that she's trans early on, she might risk out on them leaving her just for being trans and not actually getting to know her as a person

-if she's into sex or hypersexual and comes off strong, at best she might be labeled as pushy or creepy, at worse she may be labeled as a rapist

-additionally, trans women are extremely fetishized, but once she has autonomy and is seen as an actual person and not a fetish object, all of that attraction goes away and she's seen as a trap or gross or whatever other vile concoctions people have come up with to describe trans women in a sexual light.

-many, many more things that I couldn't even begin to list in this post.

All of these affect a trans woman every single day. She's at nearly just as much if not just as much at risk of attack as cis women are. She's much more likely to hear the word tranny in a negative context than a trans guy is. While a trans guy could get called a tranny, sure, they're significantly less likely to be attacked or even killed for being trans. Trans men are often labeled as "confused little girls" which is infantalizing, yes, but trans women are often labeled as creeps, rapists, or manipulative/evil people. Imagine what that does to a person's sense of self? Their self image? Even if she's never done anything remotely that bad, she's going to be labeled that anyway.

And gods forbid she ever does anything that could be seen as kinda "weird" or "bad"--not in the morally reprehensible sense. I mean like she cheated on someone or she does drugs or she says something a little tone deaf ten years ago. Trans women are forced to live life on their tiptoes for fear of being told they are evil monsters. I've seen with my own fucking eyes someone who I thought was an ally to transfemmes (they were dating a transfemme!!!) who immediately demonized another trans girl because she was socially awkward and autistic. Tried to make assumptions that she must be abusive to her partner, tried to claim that because of one interaction with this girl, they already knew that she had antisocial behavior (which I find funny that she says this to us, someone who has significant ASPD traits), which to me alludes that they believe she could be manipulative and hurtful. All because she was a bit awkward in a social gathering! I was appalled and disgusted by this, and it really opened the door beyond what I'd heard from my partner already the types of things that trans girls have to deal with from people that are within their own community that they should be able to trust.

So what does this have to do with not letting our trauma-informed biases rule the way we think about others? I'll keep it as simple as possible with this little flow chart:

Someone (usually AFAB) has trauma with men -> they hate men -> they join the feminism movement -> they veer into radfem spaces because of how vocal radfems are about hating men and they feel they are justified to believe this because of the harm men have caused them personally -> they become a TERF because radfems see people as a set of parts rather than what they actually are -> TERFs spread hatred and vitriol towards trans women in particular -> that hate and vitriol leaks into the LGBTQ+ community because a large number of TERFs are lesbian cis women -> trans women are unable to feel safe even in their own communities

Trans women deserve to feel safe in their own communities. You can be the biggest trans woman supporter ever and still not be a good ally. I thought I was a great ally to trans women before I realized that I was equating trans women's struggles with my struggle as a trans man. And until you really understand what they go through and see it with your own eyes, you may never truly realize just how difficult it is to exist as a trans woman AND you may realize you had biases you didn't even know you had. Existing as a trans man =/= existing as a trans woman. I didn't even realize I had any bias towards trans girls until I realized that I had decided (rather young I might add) that I wouldn't date a trans girl because of the fact that she was AMAB. I didn't realize how much this completely screwed up my view of trans women until I examined it under a microscope, AFTER I fell in love with a trans girl. I don't want y'all to feel like you have to fall in love with a trans girl to understand their struggle and to question your own biases. (though I will say, dating a trans woman has been the best relationship of my life, I love her so much).

Examining your biases and understanding what is trauma-informed and what is an actual issue is paramount. Being wary of cis men is kind of a given, considering the amounts of violence cis men do upon people and have been doing upon people for hundreds upon hundreds of years, but you can't let yourself get into the rut of outright hating cis men just because you've been hurt by cis men in the past.

Interestingly, I've also been abused by cis women, though rarely in as violent of contexts as cis men. I've made myself look at that under a lens too and it made me realize that I greatly distaste old women, and for me, especially if they are 50 and older--though some parts of my system also struggle with any woman older than her mid thirties. I will almost immediately assume an old woman doesn't have my best interests at heart, though it's different than with cis men. While I may assume a cis man might violently assault me in one form or another, I typically have different assumptions with older women and it's definitely something I'm going to have to also examine under a microscope and try to pick apart to really understand if my assumptions are based on verifiable truth ("all old women are bad," like the "all men are bad" assumption) or based on my traumas. My traumas are my own personal truth, but I can't let that affect my relationships I have with men and older women for the rest of my life. Or I could end up a TERF, or like one of those people who were happy that old people were dying of COVID. What a miserable way to live, you know?

-Delphine (she/her)

[ingravinoveritas]

Georgia talking about staged again and now their…… flirting? Is that what you would call putting a heart on Anna and her calling Georgia a flirt?? Radio silence from the both of them and now randomly there’s this.

Hi there! Well, I'm not sure it's really random. But let's get the visual up here first, for those who haven't seen Georgia/AL's Insta stories today:

So this seemed to start with Georgia posting the story about Staged playing on BBC iPlayer after she finished watching OFMD. The second story is the one with Georgia drawing the heart around AL, followed by the story with her drawing a heart around the glass of wine Michael is holding, and then Anna shared Georgia's story and called her a flirt.

The reason I don't believe this is random is because for the last several days, all everyone has been talking about online is Ineffable Con and Rob/Gavin's comments about the kiss between Michael/Aziraphale and David/Crowley. And as we've seen before, just when the conversation gets too focused on Michael and David, Georgia and AL post a story or photo to bring the attention back to them. It's actually fairly predictable at this point, since it's happened multiple times previously (though I would say this seems a bit more blatant than other instances, given that there isn't any reason for either of them to promote Staged right now).

My thought in regard to the "flirt" comment is that I agree with you in not understanding exactly how that reads as flirting (as it didn't come across that way to me). I do wonder if this is another attempt at Georgia and AL trying to be the female analogues to David and Michael (which we've also seen before), but it again doesn't work because they don't have that same chemistry or flirty dynamic that Michael and David have. Also, if this actually was "flirting," what was the purpose in GT circling the glass of wine? Is she flirting with the wine as much as AL? Once you look past the straightforward promotional aspect of these stories, it just seems very weird.

Weirdness is apparently the theme for the day, however, as there was also this reply from AL on Twitter earlier:

If you look at the timestamps, AL replied to this tweet/Michael's tweet exactly one minute after Michael replied. Going back to the idea of predictability, there's been nonstop discussion for the past several days about Michael and David kissing, and my first thought was that she seemed to just be looking for a reply that she could jump on and insert herself, to where I would not be surprised if she has notifications set up for his tweets for just such an occasion.

Upon further consideration, I did get the feeling that her "Where can I get one?" was not at all sincere in the way that Michael's was. It came across to me as a passive-aggressive way of reasserting her position (i.e., "I'm the only one who actually gets to love Michael Sheen"). It also makes it seem like she is fighting with the fans for Michael's attention, on top of already competing with David (although let's be honest, there is no competition there). More than that, however, I also got the feeling that AL copying his comment was her way of mocking him for wanting the t-shirt at all (i.e., "Look how stupid he is for wanting this stupid shirt"). Which of course is not something she would actually say, but the copied text along with the reply coming only one minute later makes it seem a bit circumspect. And it makes me feel sad for the fan who made the original post who may not realize what is really going on.

In any case, those are my thoughts on GT and AL's social media posts today. As I've always said before, I know I could be completely wrong in my interpretations, but the timing is just too strange for me to believe it's a coincidence. I'm happy to hear others' thoughts, though...

[gremzon]

what's a onceler

It's like an adoptable species on deviantart but with that ugly twink illumination made back in 2012

[erabu-san]

TIGHNARI GETTING EMOTIONAL BECAUSE COLLEI DIDN'T PICK THE POISONOUS MUSHROOM IN THE AU IS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND REALAKSJJDXNOWLSMKS-

HAHAHAHAAHA I KNOW RIGHT ???? Sometime when I am brainrotting, I just laugh out loud (alone), because I think about a lot of funny scenarios. I sweaaar I wish I could print my mind to share my thought because there is so many thing in my brain and I have SO MUCH FUN imaging silly scenario ! I am so glad I am not the one who think Tighnari being so emotional because someone decided to not pick poisonous mushroom is funny.

[potatobugz]

arguing on the internet is the worst thing ever. message to all beloved followers and mutuals. dont do this

[sailoryooons]

Are you rooting for the Dodgers or the Yankees?

[bonkalore]

I don't have Netflix, so until the reblog of that video last night, it never struck me that Daniel Spellbound was actually a series 😅

Tbh, your art of it looks so rad, I thought it was a whole awesome ass story coming out of YOUR brain! 👀

Heck, I still do! My brain can't seem to connect your badass art to the CGI video from that post.

Haha yeaaahh... You're definitely not the first to think that I was just making them up!! Not too many online have heard of the show or seen anything for it outside of my art, but I am definitely working from a base here! XD But thank you! Tbf, a lot of it is still technically is coming from my brain bc I have very much created my own storyline out of it that differs wildly from the original for a lot of it. The trajectory of the storyline is still kind of the same at the baseline, but at this point, it really could become an original if I wanted to (have thought about doing so eventually, but just isn't on my mind much for now).

I've also made a lot of my own characters that are involved with the story more than what the original had. The merguy and drider lady are not in the original for example. There are many others I haven't posted about yet as well. Also Jayce and Lucy are p much always trying to kill each other in the show and definitely not a ship... X'D But the potential was there...

I often say for those wanting to check out the show after seeing my art that they need to prepare for a VERY different kind of story playing out than what I have! ^^;

[completeoveranalysis]

What do you think of Seisub shippers ?

I support them!

Ship what you like! This is all for fun!

[amethystina]

Hi <3 I just wanted to reach out and wish you all the strength and comfort in the world as you navigate this difficult time. Your writing brings so much joy to readers like me, and I hope you’re surrounded by support and love.

If you don’t mind, could you share a bit more about Yohan's thoughts in "Thou Shalt Not Covet"? I’m intrigued by your take on him as someone with darker thoughts and sides, and I’d love to understand your perspective. (you previously mentioned that he had not-so-nice thoughts, which intrigues me greatly! and i wanted to ask if u could talk a little more about them)

Thank you for all the effort you put into your stories, they’re truly inspiring!

Thank you so much 💜 Admittedly, things are still pretty rough. I keep feeling stressed and disoriented and that just adds to the overall exhaustion I'm already struggling with. But I'll get through it eventually. I always do :)

As for Yo Han and his thoughts during Thou Shalt Not Covet?

WELL.

He's a right bastard, that's what he is x'D I mean, aside from the more obvious things he does to Ga On? Like taking his phone away — which is Ga On's only way of getting a taxi AND calling someone for help should the situation escalate — more or less blocking the door to keep Ga On from leaving, and interrupting whenever Ga On tries to speak?

As if that's not enough, Yo Han also does a lot of subtle manipulations to make sure that he maintains the upper hand and that Ga On is easier to nudge in the direction Yo Han wants him. Because while Yo Han starts out confused, unsure of what's going on, he soon realises that a) Ga On is now aware of the attraction between them, b) Ga On is very insecure about said attraction, c) Ga On is unhappy with Yo Han's commitment to their attraction, and d) Ga On is outright jealous.

And that's something Yo Han can work with.

Because this is Yo Han from around episode 10 of the drama and he's not a kind or considerate man at that point in time. So while he does give both himself and Ga On what they want in the end, make no mistake — the way he goes about it is problematic.

Aside from the aforementioned physical ways Yo Han is directing the situation, he also bluntly says: "Yes, I did have sex with him." And that right there? That's him trying to throw Ga On off balance. He wants to keep Ga On in a heightened emotional state so that he's easier to manipulate. And sure, while they both want the thing Yo Han is aiming for with his manipulations, that's still a red flag. Because Yo Han doesn't have to take that route. He could be much more understanding and gentle.

But he chooses not to be.

And the main reason for that is that Yo Han still has limits to how far he's willing to go — and how much of his own pride he's willing to forsake in order to keep Ga On with him. He chose to follow Ga On back to his room, sure — which I agree is pretty monumental — but he's not giving an inch until he's sure he's actually going to be gaining something from it. He keeps asking Ga On questions, figuring the situation out, then basically launches an attack to discombobulate and convince Ga On to give a relationship a try. During the majority of that conversation, Yo Han is intentionally making Ga On more desperate because he knows that'll make Ga On more likely to succumb.

And the fact that Yo Han wants Ga On to succumb isn't just because he cares about him and wants to smooch him — far from it. Because this is Yo Han and, naturally, he's already thought through every scenario and reached the conclusion that, hey, being in a relationship with Ga On will probably be beneficial for his revenge plot because it'll tie Ga On to him more firmly. It'll make Ga On less likely to leave and Ga On is very useful to Yo Han.

(not to mention that Yo Han wants to own every tiny fraction of Ga On's body, heart, and soul)

Starting a relationship with Ga On is a good strategic move, in other words.

It's a tactical decision more so than it's an emotional one.

And, in a similar vein, Yo Han would have chosen not to pursue Ga On if he'd reached the conclusion that it would risk his plans. Because, at this point in the drama, in Yo Han's mind, Ga On — and Yo Han's own desires — are below his revenge on his list of priorities. If their relationship jeopardised his plans, he'd end it. Without hesitation.

So while it may seem pretty romantic that Yo Han follows Ga On to his room and asks him those questions that prove just how many exceptions Yo Han has made for him, you gotta remember that nothing Yo Han does is accidental. He knows just what to say to make Ga On more dependent on him and, when you look at everything he said? Yo Han never once mentioned his own emotions. It was all Ga On reading between the lines and giving Yo Han the benefit of the doubt. He even dodges Ga On's attempt to trap him with the "What do you want it to be?" question by turning it on Ga On, asking if he hasn't figured it out yet.

Not once does Yo Han give an actual verbal answer — he just asks questions and allows Ga On to fill in the blanks.

Because Yo Han knows that he's made Ga On desperate enough that Ga On will fill those empty spaces with what appeals to him the most. By not offering any words himself, Ga On will add the ones he wants to hear instead — and they'll be sweeter, more emotional, more romantic — without Yo Han having to do a thing or surrendering any more of his pride by actually admitting to caring about Ga On.

Ga On does it all by himself.

That doesn't make the emotions any less true — Yo Han does care about Ga On a great deal — but he's not willing to say it at this point in their relationship. He's not willing to leave himself vulnerable or at Ga On's mercy. Because, deep down, Yo Han isn't ready for that kind of commitment, nor does he feel that level of trust towards Ga On.

So, instead, Yo Han makes sure to remain in charge during that whole conversation and uses every trick in the book to manipulate Ga On to his liking.

And sure, that may sound harsh, but that's who Yo Han is. If you look at the drama, that's how he behaves. He is this much of an asshole. He would use Ga On's emotions against him and exploit every weakness he can spot, just to get what he wants.

He's just lucky that, this time, Ga On wants the same thing.

That's not to say that Yo Han comes out of this unscathed, by the way. He thinks he has, being all aloof and untouchable, not realising that he's put himself in quite the pickle once they actually start growing even closer, both physically and emotionally. Which they'll do much quicker than in canon.

Because suddenly Yo Han will be getting fond little kisses whenever Ga On is near. And soft, warm smiles whenever Yo Han does something that makes Ga On happy. And he'll find out what sounds Ga On makes when he's so overwhelmed by pleasure that he can't even form words anymore. And he'll be struck dumb by how angelic Ga On looks in the mornings, sleeping peacefully next to Yo Han.

In short: Yo Han is doomed.

He'd soften a lot quicker than in the drama and his priorities might start shifting without him noticing. Because we all know he's helpless against Ga On's doe eyes and, sooner or later, he'll become that sappy, lovesick old man we all know and love.

So sure, Yo Han is abusive and toxic during this fic — which I don't think should be forgotten or excused — but he's also given Ga On the opening to manipulate him back. And while Ga On won't do it knowingly, Yo Han still won't stand a chance.

And I don't know about you, but I love that for him.

Yo Han won't know what hit him until it's already too late and then his only option is to accept his fate and love and cherish Ga On for the rest of their lives.

A+ scheming there, Mr. Abyss.

That didn't backfire on you at all.

[averlym]

4 on the angst list with Araleyn please I need them to suffer

4 : "but it's my fault, right?" (prompt list here)

[somegrumpynerd]

I saw this was okay so I'm shooting my shot lol- are you from the UK ?

It might be weird but I like to know from which country people are so I have a rough idea of if they are awake at the same time as me or if I have to wait for nighttime when I want to talk, but I'm too scared to ask so I just try to guess with hints, for exemple you posted what time it was and it was one hour less than for me, and you wrote "coloUring book" so I just guessed UK ?? :')

Anyway hope it's not weird (I'm not gonna try and find your house lmao dw dw)

Doxxed by spelling dammit 😔

lol just kidding you're good, I am on UK time! But I'm also on a horrible sleep and/or work schedule so when I'm awake remains a mystery lol