#//I say that as an (SELF DIAGNOSED) adhd guy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

calware · 4 months ago

Text

post about me. i added pictures to keep it interesting

i've had a problem for most of my life that i'm currently visualizing as a gray dorito poking into me. it's frustrating, inconvenient, difficult to deal with, and overall makes everything suck a little. many people have told me that this problem is most likely adhd, such as my therapist in high school who said it was "textbook." unfortunately, she was just a therapist, not a psychiatrist, and therefore wasn't actually qualified to diagnose me with anything. this was in 2021 when there were no child psychiatrists in my area accepting new patients (thanks, covid), so instead my doctor gave me a few adhd meds at differing doses to see if any of them stuck (i had literally no reaction to Any of them) and the whole thing went nowhere

so, is the problem actually adhd? i'm an adult now and could pay several hundred dollars (of my parent's money) to get a proper test, but it would make no difference as my issues would not be solved by adhd medication (maybe. i'm worried i somehow messed it up) or any form of accommodations. i don't want to ask my parents to pay for something that likely won't have much impact (and my mom wouldn't be fully convinced anyway. both parents are pretty sure there's nothing wrong with me). i want to know, but the time and money don't justify it. so the best solution i have is to keep going, keep learning which lifestyle changes to make and how to "work smarter". i'll be okay. and i say that with sincerity

whoops, forgot my glasses here. this is another gray dorito-shaped problem, only this one is much smaller. i rarely notice it, and when i do, it's superficial. it's only gotten genuinely bad twice in my life. it's my paranoia, obsessiveness, and, on occasion, compulsions that follow those obsessions. now, i know what you're thinking, which is that it kind of sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. frankly, from my understanding, my issue is so negligible that it doesn't qualify as OCD. like i said, it barely affects me. it still bothers me that it's there, though. i do my best to deal with it, letting my thoughts pass as they come to me and not trying not to give into/breaking out of compulsions, but i just don't want it there at all

this is another thing i could see a therapist about, but does a problem this small really justify the time and expenses of seeing a professional? not in my case (not for me, at least. don't apply this to your own problems if you genuinely want to seek professional help)

i have a goal to have enough disposable income later in life to justify paying a scientist to pick through my brain for my own amusement. because, despite no substantial foreseeable improvements to my mental health after getting a psych evaluation, i still find the idea to be really exciting. i have a strong desire to understand how my mind works, how my brain ticks, why i am the person i am. that's how i know that if i ever played sburb, id have the heart aspect (that's right. you thought that this was just a personal post on my homestuck blog that had nothing to do with homestuck. do you really think i would do that? make off-topic posts solely about me on a homestuck blog? look, i even remembered to draw my glasses this time and i made them homestuck glasses. because i care about you guys) and i am vain and self-centered enough to desperately want someone with a phd to talk about me for an hour. and no, i don't need a therapist to tell me why that is, i already figured that one out allllll on my own

#long post #me when i me

92 notes · View notes

nerdy-nook · 25 days ago

Note

Favorite nuerodivergant headcannons for Voltron LD?

Ooo I like this one! I’m going to do neurodivergent headcanons as well as mental health headcanons because I don’t think all of the characters are neurodivergent. Ok let’s start!

Voltron Paladins:

Shiro: He canonically has PTSD, although the show stopped focusing on it after season 2. So I’m going to keep that. He definitely has panic attacks (as we have seen) but has a good control on his triggers. He has to, to keep himself and his team safe in battle.

Keith: BPD and autism you cannot change my mind. You can’t tell me that after all the shit that poor kid went through in his childhood that he doesn’t have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). He checks a lot off the boxes. The sudden mood changes, aggression, abandonment issues, and feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy. As for the autism he mainly experiences sensory issues surrounding sounds and touch. We all know about his social skills. He also has insomnia.

Hunk: I think Hunk has GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). He’s had it since he was in elementary school. It mainly consists of catastrophizing and physical symptoms. His heart races, and he sweats a lot.

Lance: He has combined ADHD. A classic case as a kid: SUPER hyperactive, couldn’t sit still, and couldn’t focus. His processing speed is a lot slower making it harder for him to learn in an average school environment. This made him self conscious growing up, thinking he was stupid. It’s something he still struggles with.

Pidge: Best girl disease! Jk. She has ADHD, autism, and is also a fellow insomniac. This girl will hyperfixate and work herself for hours. The team comes to do routine checks on her when she’s researching to make sure she rests. She isn’t really hyperactive but does have a hard time staying still. Catch her rotating clockwise as she types away on her laptop.

MFE Pilots (this is self indulgent):

James: With his strong sense of justice I can see him having a little bit of the ‘tism. I used to headcanon him as having BPD as well but now I’m more leaning towards Bipolar II. This goes a long with some other headcanons I have for him, I’ll make a hc sheet for him soon.

Ina: She has autism. She was diagnosed at 3 years old. Her parents were tipped off by the fact that she was selectively mute when she was younger.

Nadia: Also has ADHD She mainly struggles with her impulsivity issues. She has a really hardy time keeping organized. Did someone say organized chaos? Her rooms always a little bit of a mess but she knows where everything is. Once she sets something down she can never find it.

Ryan: I literally can’t think of anything for him, he’s just a neurotypical guy. Nothing wrong with that.

Thanks for the ask BTW!!

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #keith kogane #pidge holt #katie holt #pidge gunderson #hunk garrett #lance mcclain #shiro voltron #james griffin #nadia rizavi #ina leifsdottir #ryan kinkade #voltron headcanons

48 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 7 months ago

Note

I just got a comment saying I should have tagged for dom/sub undertones and I'm a little confused. In canon, this guy always bosses his wife around re: doing shit that's healthy for her - napping, drinking water, remembering to eat more than once a day, getting more than 3 hours of sleep - and she lovingly calls him "Boss Man" as a nickname because of it. On some occasions where she's gone more than a day without eating he'll swipe her phone and order her to eat before she gets it back, something she always seems to find endearing. There's a lot of 'I didn't mean to worry you', 'you're worth worrying about, now here's your favorite homemade walnut bread' stuff, all there in canon, just lifted from canon and transplanted into my fic.

Is this dom/sub stuff? I'm aroace so I've never been in a relationship, but I assumed "take care of yourself" "I will but I will call you a silly nickname over it" was regular relationship stuff. Or is it that the frequency of it makes it dom/sub stuff, and I'm just not grasping that because my neurodivergency is making me not read the social cues correctly? I was only recently diagnosed but this has been a problem for a long time, the whole line between normal and abnormal behavior, so I thought I'd ask you. You're much more well-read than I am and know a lot more about shipping dynamics and how they're tagged. I feel like you're an expert whose opinion carries a lot of conclusions-informed-by-knowledge and so your take could help me figure this out.

People who are doms or subs or write them, if you have a guide on this stuff, that'd be cool, too. I want to educate myself more so I know if I should tag something. After all, I can't get my story to people who want to read it if it doesn't show up in the tags they're searching for. Readers aren't mindreaders. It's on me to make sure they can get ahold of the things they're looking for. I just need to work around my own ADHD-addled brain to do it.

I think this is the usual pattern of demanding silly tags that would only make sense in that reader's own bookmarks.

Yes, caretaking and food control of various kinds can be a part of BDSM. No, your description of canon does not make it sound like this has obvious undertones.

Readers are going to have different interpretations. It's possible that other readers would agree with this one. I have my doubts. I suspect they're projecting. But sure, maybe other people would think there was some of that vibe.

However, if you did not intend the fic to read this way, I would not add the tag. This is not what the fic is about.

As for what this kind of thing can look like when it is intended as a dom/sub activity, the movie Secretary has a bunch of examples. She calls him on the phone to tell him what her family's dinner looks like that night; he gives her instructions about which things she can eat how much of. The way she acts while making that phone call makes it clear it's an exciting game to her. Another time, he tells her she's not allowed to cut herself anymore: he will provide what she needs.

Even if the characters are being playful, just nagging someone to do basic self care doesn't really come across as this. It's more charged when it's an intentional power exchange thing.

It's more like... hmm... if you and a friend agreed to LARP as characters for a day. Even if you were acting fairly normal and doing things you'd often do anyway, there would be this added extra vibe to it that someone who knew you well could probably detect.

It's not so much about the specific behaviors: it's about the extra meaning those people ascribe to them. If it doesn't seem like the canon characters think of this caretaking any specific way and you, as the fic author, don't see it that way, then I don't think it will generally read as a dom/sub thing to most readers.

65 notes · View notes

transmutationisms · 10 months ago

Note

what do you think about ketamine treatment for treatment resistant depression? Not to be the guy on tumblr that goes like WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE DEATH PENALTY!!! And stuff but I was just thinking about how wild it is as a drug user that suddenly it’s fine to be dependent on a drug if it’s in a hospital. Like suddenly you’re not a drug addict. You could say this about antidepressants in general as well or for adhd medication and it’s just crazy to me

ketamine tx doesn't work like that you usually have to go to a special clinic for an infusion for it like 2x a week at most. like even in people who experience long term effects of it, that's not because the drug is bioactive for that entire time. i think it peaks at like 10 hours or 24 or something. so we're not talking 'dependence' chemically in the same way that you can see with drugs that are taken daily or more frequently.

mostly what i find funny with stuff like "ketamine has an antidepressant effect" is like, depression (like every psych dx) is identified by how the person feels; there is no biomarker or brain scan or whatever. so really all we are saying is "ketamine makes people feel good" and then expressing that with terminology considered sufficiently 'scientific' to justify the observation. it's just another manifestation of the way medical and legal authorities are so squeamish about experiencing pleasure, and professionally dependent on regulating it, that they have to pathologise either the pleasure itself ('cheap dopamine' -> behavioural addictions) or the lack of it ('chemical imbalance' myths, getting diagnosed as aberrantly sad so that doing a drug that feels good is not self indulgent but medically necessary).

anyway personally i would deeply and genuinely rather kill myself in public than do any kind of dissociative in front of a) doctors or b) mba degree holders, so these ketamine clinics are not for me, but i hope everyone using them is having fun or whatever

#drugs

70 notes · View notes

prismdrive · 6 months ago

Note

WYM LEO GAGS HALF HIS GUTS DOWN THE DRAIN

SORRY I LET THIS ONE SIT IN THE ASKBOX FOR SO LONG AAAGHHH

Let's just say, they have issues....

Mikey's got the longest list BY FAR; CPTSD, severe phantom pains, severe depression, self-harm (mainly hair-pulling, so he keeps his hair short/covered to try and prevent it) and is an absolute heartbreaker/serial hookupper.

Then there's Leo, anorexia (binge eating/purging) and dysphoria. The anorexia isn't as noticeable because of her body type (she'd naturally be on the beefier side, which causes dysphoria which worsens the anorexia), she's INCREDIBLY picky with what she eats and refuses to eat in public, gets cold very easily but shrugs it off as "being cold-blooded" (they aren't).

Leo is the only one that knows about Mikey's self-harm and Mikey is the only one to know about Leo's anorexia, so you can guess how tense family dinners are.

Raph has only been diagnosed with ADHD so far, but he's also got the tism. He's got trouble managing his emotions which often causes outbursts, but he's promised himself not to punch people in the face.... When Lita's around, otherwise you're fucked.

Donnie was more recently diagnosed with quiet BPD. He's grown... incredibly fond of a pizza delivery guy called Timothy, trying to spend as much time with him as possible.

#tmnt #art #tmnt fanart #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt: eden #tmnt fan iteration

42 notes · View notes

galactica7071 · 1 year ago

Text

let's diagnose the Irish guy from punch-out

disclaimer: I am but a lass with ADD, so while I do know a lot from both my own experiences and research, you should still take my ramblings with a few grains of salt. I encourage anyone reading to form their own headcanons, and would love to hear them!

So, the Punch-Out wiki (in its current state) implies that Aran Ryan has some sort of mental disorder, so I projected onto dissected him like a deep sea specimen, and may have found out what's going on in his very empty and screwed up head

🎉congrats! it's attention deficit hyperactivity disorder! (probably)🎉

ADHD has a bunch of characteristics that go with it, but I'll only be going over the ones that apply to Aran and are displayed in canon. Of course, I'll insert some speculation here and there to further support and reason through some of my points. For more reading, I suggest checking out organizations like Mayo Clinic and the National Institute of Mental Health, as well as any self-reports and blogs by people with ADHD (the latter tends to be more personal and far less clinical-sounding, but are just as helpful). Wikipedia is also a good place to go for anything, and you might even find yourself down a few rabbit holes!

Hyperactivity and restlessness

Aran exhibits this in PO Wii heavily. He has a high-stamina fighting style with lots of shuffling around, always bouncing around Little Mac. He can only be stunned through counter-punches and being faster than him (During round breaks, Doc Louis literally says "beat Aran Ryan to the punch"). It is extremely difficult to KO or TKO Aran without intercepting him due to this mechanic. During round breaks, regardless of how beaten and bruised he is, Aran will bounce his leg constantly in Contender and harass the audience in Title Defense.

Impulsivity and recklessness

This one's consistent between his two appearances, surprisingly. In Wii, Aran is portrayed as a dirty cheater who would "do anything to win", according to supplementary comics. He has the most rule infractions in the Punch-Out series, at 32 combined. He stuffs his gloves with horseshoes before his Contender fight and brings a homemade flail made from a broken boxing glove to his bout with Little Mac in Title Defense. During matches, he makes use of headbutts and elbows quite frequently. These are both illegal and very stupid moves, due to the potential of self-inflicted trauma. His flail in Title Defense could be a sign of creativity by thinking outside the box, which is often seen in people with ADHD. In supplementary material for Super Punch-Out!!, it's implied that a fight usually broke out whenever Aran was made fun of in school, showing that he was reckless during his childhood as well.

Emotional dysregulation

In Super Punch-Out!!, Aran Ryan is rather grumpy, and is one of two characters in the entire game to never smile in any of his sprites (the other being Nick Bruiser). Compared to his Wii portrayal, Aran is as clean as it gets in this game, even complimenting the player during the credits. Supplementary material attributes his lower mood to the teasing he endured during his childhood, and that he got into boxing to channel some of his pent-up anger. Depending on how you view it, him being so angry over his peers making fun of his name could be an overblown reaction. This hot-headedness is retained in PO Wii (which could be a sign of impulsivity), but he's essentially the inverse of how he was in Super. He's boisterous, reckless, dishonest, and smiles even while he's stunned. Many of Aran's reactions to being hit are him laughing, which might imply masochism on some level, but is nonetheless seen as an inappropriate response to being hit. He displays some antisocial traits, even, as seen when he throws aside the referee in Title Defense. This is likely caused by a low tolerance of authority, but is still an extreme reaction to the referee just trying to maintain order in the ring (good luck with that, ref...).

Difficulty starting tasks

This is a sign of executive dysfunction, which is closely linked to inattention in people with ADHD. It's exhibited in his Contender intro, where he spends the first three frames of the cutscene messing around. For this one, I'm going to compare Aran's behavior in his Contender intro to all the other boxers that spend their entire intro cutscene in a gym/dojo/training environment, spend the majority of their cutscene explicitly training, or are in several training environments. Here's a neat little chart, where the numbers represent how many slides they spent being "off-task":

can you tell that graphic design is my passion

I've counted any activity that builds strength and endurance (like eating, running, lifting, or practicing magic in Tiger's case), or requires a large amount of work put in to do (like chopping trees or playing hockey, for Bear Hugger). Some of you might be wondering why I didn't include certain characters, but that's because they're either in a combat setting, switch from training to non-training settings, or are doing unrelated things in what could be a training setting.

If Aran has 3 instances of being off-task, he ties with TD Kaiser, Don, and Macho in terms of how long they're off-task for. If "gearing up" is being counted as being on-task, he only ties with TD Kaiser and himself. Of course, context matters heavily. TD Kaiser, Don, and Macho aren't off-task purely for the sake of slacking off, but show developments of their story throughout Career Mode. TD Aran is off-task for storytelling as well, but it's not motivated by a grudge towards Mac like the other three and falls under the normal definition of "slacking off". Speaking of cutscenes,

Inattention and distractibility

Aran shows this several times in Title Defense. In his intro, he notices a rope in the trash can and gets the idea of making his flail, seemingly forgetting all about training for his match with Little Mac. During round intermissions, he's distracted by the audience throwing objects at him, and threatens them instead of spending the break resting or strategizing.

Anxiety

ADHD is highly comorbid with anxiety, due to executive dysfunction (mainly sensory processing), and the risk of overthinking. I admit that this one is a bit of a stretch, since general restlessness and anxiety are linked in many mood disorders, but it's shared between both of his appearances. Super's version of Aran being caught up in his own past can be a sign of social anxiety as well as falling victim to overthinking. In PO Wii, the leg bouncing can be a sign of anxiety for various reasons, whether it be physiological (ex. outside stimuli being unpleasant) or psychological (ex. overthinking the match). His stance in Exhibition's menu for his Contender match is also a little shaky, which is common in fight-or-flight reactions, though it could also be plain hyperactivity.

Pressured speech

In PO Wii. Aran usually talks very quickly, which can be caused by the classic ADHD experience of "having a lot to say, and feeling like there's no time to say it". It's very likely that it's just be a characteristic of his accent, though.

🍀🌠🌈this is a cool section break🌈🌠🍀

There's plenty more symptoms you could make arguments for, but these were some of his more prominent traits. ADHD shares symptoms with a lot of other disorders, though, so let's see some other possibilities...

Counter-Diagnosis #1: Bipolar II Disorder

Bipolar II, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, is characterized by a a pattern of depressive states and hypomanic states (notice the hypo- prefix). We can attribute Aran's demeanor in Super to a depressive state, and his demeanor in Wii to a hypomanic state. I've chosen bipolar II instead of I due to the specifications of a "manic state" not fitting his Wii portrayal as closely.

Hypomania (literally meaning "less than mania") shares many characteristics with full-blown mania, but is more toned-down. People who have experienced genuine hypomanic states usually describe it as helpful towards their productivity, while manic states are notoriously more harmful and often directly affect productivity. Symptoms of mania include restlessness, racing thoughts, pressured speech, overconfidence, increased agitation, impulsiveness, a disconnect from one's surroundings, extreme anxiousness, and many others. Already, we can observe many of these symptoms in Aran's Wii portrayal that are shared with the ADHD diagnosis. However, hypomania tends to lack the "reality disconnect", and we can see that Aran is very aware of his surroundings. Him being in the World Circuit in both Super and Wii can be interpreted as a sign of the hypomanic states being more helpful than detrimental (maybe less so in Super because of the existence of the Special Circuit, but I digress).

I think this take has a lot of ground, maybe more than the ADHD hypothesis. A lot of my earlier points in favor of him having ADHD can also apply to him being bipolar (specifically hyperactivity, recklessness, and especially emotional dysregulation) as well, which blurs the line in some places, but it's still a very strong argument.

Counter-Diagnosis #2: Oppositional Defiant Disorder

According to Mayo Clinic, ODD is "a frequent and ongoing pattern of anger, irritability, arguing and defiance towards parents and other authority figures". The characteristics of ODD can be observed in both SPO's and Wii's Aran.

I think this one's weaker, for a few reasons. First, ODD is considered clinically relevant only during childhood; from then, it can "evolve" into a number of other conditions, including but not limited to borderline personality disorder and the aforementioned bipolar disorder. Obviously, Aran isn't a child, but he could have had this disorder in the past and "grew out of it" from a clinical standpoint.

You could make an argument for the anger issues due to a few of his behaviors, as well as his voice lines in Wii having a sort of "growl" to them, but his irritability is infrequent and mild enough to where it can be attributed back to emotional dysregulation, and the "growl" could just be how the character or his voice actor naturally sounds (I haven't found any clips of Stephen Webster speaking out-of-character, but if anyone has any, I'd love to hear them).

Counter-Diagnosis #3: Antisocial Personality Disorder

The DSM-5 defines APD as consistent displays of deceitfulness, issues with authority, impulsivity, irritability, recklessness, and a diminished capacity for remorse after hurting someone. Again, a few of these symptoms are shared with ADHD, so there's a significant grey area here. Yet, I believe it's stronger than the ODD argument, since his cheating can be a sign of deceitfulness and his apparent antisocial traits in Wii. However, boxing as a combat sport doesn't leave much room for feeling remorse, since doing so can result in throwing or forfeiting a match. I'm not going to count the lack of remorse due to the nature of the sport, but you as a reader can interpret it how you like.

Counter-Diagnosis #4: Autism Spectrum Disorder

Because of how broad the autism spectrum is, you could easily go crazy in-depth with this. I'll do a miniature version of the ADHD symptom setup, which includes traits observed in canon. I won't be including every shared trait, but do keep in mind that ADHD is comorbid with a bunch of different spectrum disorders, and misdiagnoses, especially in women, are fairly common in the real world because of it. I know I'm going to fail to list certain symptoms due to just how many ASD traits there are, so if anyone reading has any more connections to make, be my guest! This "counter-diagnosis" section is for provoking further discussion, after all, and I'm happy to learn from you all.

Hyposensitivity

In PO Wii. To wind up for his right uppercut, Aran hits himself in the side of the head, and after round breaks in Contender, he hits himself repeatedly. Considering his gloves are confirmed to be loaded in his Contender fight, his relative indifference might be a sign of this. People with autism have reported tuning out various stimuli if they become overwhelmed by a bunch of them (sometimes related to meltdown or shutdown), and it's possible that that's what Aran is doing here. The bright lights of the venue combined with the crowd noise and the feeling of being sweaty could be overstimulating, and the supposed hyposensitivity towards being hit is caused by this "tuning out" to avoid a shutdown mid-bout.

Stimming (repetitive movements)

In PO Wii. The leg bounce in his Contender round break can be interpreted as a stim, as well as the wind-ups for his right uppercut (bopping himself in the head) and headbutt (choosing to wind up on the ropes). His bouncing around Mac could also be stimming.

Pathological demand avoidance

This phenomenon can also be comorbid with anxiety, which happens to be a risk factor for ADHD, so we're looping back around with this one. PDA is characterized by a person exhibiting an intense aversion to something that is asked of them, even if they wanted to do it beforehand. It can be associated with feelings of unfairness and like they don't have any control, so someone with PDA may "break the rules" to feel as though they have some control over what happens to them. Aran's high infraction count in Wii could be a sign of a more obsessive form of this. Avoiding the process of carrying out the demand can be conflated with executive dysfunction as well.

TL;DR get this man into a psychiatrist's office ASAP

#punch out!!#punch out wii #super punch out #aran ryan #punch out headcanons #your honor he's screwed up in the head /lh #neurodivergent #adhd #it's canon I'm sorry I don't make the rules

72 notes · View notes

unfunnyaceartist · 7 months ago

Text

Au be upon ye. I NEED A NAME GUYS HDWUBFIHOIW

Again, i feel the need to say: I am not a professional by any means and just wanted to make an interesting au that could be fun.(im diagnosed with ADHD anxiety and depression, im 98% sure I have Bipolar disorder, and im 90% sure i have OCD, so Id be basing it off of what I know plus personal experiences) Please inform me of any misinformation I may have spread, as this was not even remotely intended to come off as offensive.

ANYWAY I SHOULD EXPLAIN THE DESIGNS

I think Gangle is self explanatory. Tragedy and Comedy? Bipolar?

Zooble is based on what kinda made me think I had it. Everything needs to be a specific way. I wanted it to be ironic as they have a protractor and pencil and eraser to fix things to their liking, but then their design itself is a bit chaotic.

Kinger already gave adhd energy originally so i kinda just bade the boy unable to sit still LOL if anyone has ideas let me know

Ragatha, I wanted to dress her in something physically and mentally comfortable tbh

NOW I DIDNT CHANGE MUCH OF POMNI AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY! 1. Pomnis design draw attention EASILY with its colors, which makes her feel like everyones looking at her. 2. Shes a jester, so it feels to her like everyone is laughing at and judging her. 3 i wanted to incorporate ways for her to self sooth. Grabbing her hat, flicking her bells, rubbing the soft fabric, squeezing the chest and torso puffs, etc.

Jax? Well I just wanted to make him look comfy and confident. He WANTS eyes on him, unlike Pomni, and he goes out of his way to make others pay attention to him.

but uh yeah. thoughts?

#rdufyitugbuyfgyi you wouldnt cancel me right?#GANGLE IS BIPOLAR LOL MY BAD YALL

52 notes · View notes

yourlocalbadgerscales · 5 months ago

Text

My OFFICIAL intro post, since I never actually made one!

Hi!! I’m yourlocalbadgerscales ^^ My name is a reference to me being a Slytherpuff 💚💛

Yes, I’m a diehard Harry Potter fan and a Slytherpuff for life!

A little something about me then. I go by she/her pronouns and I am currently questioning my sexuality, but I’m pretty sure I am at least panromantic. And I feel like that’s all you need to know about my sexuality to know that this profile is a safe place for all you fellow queers (:

I feel like it’s also important to know that I am a teenager and therefore a minor, so any predators, please leave my profile immediately (I have already encountered one, sadly, and I’m new here! I made an account on Tumblr last week or so)!

But I do not mind making friends or just chatting with adults ^^

My interests:

• Music! I love singing and I want to learn playing the piano. I also love listening to music and I do it 24/7. My favourite artists right now are Conan Gray and Taylor Swift, but I also love a little bit of Eminem ^^ • Books! I read a lot, lately I have mostly read fanfiction but I want to change that, hehe. I also enjoy writing books myself (and fanfics).

• Harry Potter! I read the books when I was just a little kid, but I never really discovered the charm of Potterverse until last summer (when I btw realised that I was queer). I have strong opinions on many things in Harry Potter but there’s room for discussion! Feel free to comment on my posts and reblog, or just write to me privately so we can discuss!

• Marauders Era! I love the Marauders so much guys you don’t understand 😭 My favourite ships are Jegulus and Wolfstar! My favourite marauders era characters are James and Regulus!

•LGBTQIA+!

These are topics I will post a lot of stuff about on here!

Things I don’t like and won’t accept on my profile:

• Homophobes, transphobes etc.

• Racists

• People against feminism

• Bullies

• Snape apologists (unless you just want to have a polite, nice chat about your reasons and opinions, I love learning new things and trying to see stuff from a different POV!)

• Predators, pedophiles

• Trump supporters

• No picking sides between Israel and Hamas on here ‼️‼️‼️

• Nazis

• People who deny climate change

• People why deny that kids can have depression, anxiety etc.

• People who look down on other people with disorders or diagnoses

• Genuinely just people who look down on other, hate people for things they can’t control or are bullies. Yeah, you get it.

Other things to know about me:

• Don’t assume stuff about me

• I’m from Europe. Wtf is 5’6 and all that shi /j

• I don’t plan on showing my face on here. Ever. But I might reconsider.

• If you want to follow me elsewhere I am also on Pinterest and Spotify. Write to me and I’ll give you the links :)

• I am not diagnosed yet, however I am pretty damn sure I’m autistic and have ADD (ADHD), based on a lot of research and what professionals have said about me. So I am not self-diagnosed :)

• No slander of any kind on here. If you disagree with me or others here, be polite about it. I am kind of sensitive when it comes to destructive critism… learnt that the hard way.

• UNLESS I accidentally say something really hurtful! Don’t be scared to point that out! I can assure you I never meant to hurt anyone, if that’s the case.

Now you know a little more about me! I may have forgotten something so I might add stuff later!

I often follow back, BUT I would love if all my followers are just people who genuinely enjoy my content and not following me only to get more followers themselves.

Have a nice day and drink some water! ;) Your favourite badger xx ❤️

22 notes · View notes

prototypesteve · 2 months ago

Text

Late thaw.

⚠️CW: I spend some time here, processing my complicated and raw feelings of resentment for the early-life developmental effects of undiagnosed neurodivergences and undiscovered asexuality & aromanticism. Skip this post if you sometimes (even secretly) don’t like who you are because of what you are.⚠️

So… thanks to a toxic mix of late-diagnosed autism, ADHD, and a pair of stoic parents (British and Japanese) I didn’t even begin to learn to express my feelings until my mid 20s, and until my early 30s I was able to talk about my feelings at a level you’d expect from someone in their early teens.

Now, that would probably be kind of cute in a “quirky shy nerdy guy” way if I weren’t also aromantic and asexual without knowing I was aromantic or asexual because I didn’t know anything that serious about myself because I didn’t have the emotional development to even know that I ought to know things like that about myself by my mid-20s.

That’s the background/context for the next bit.

The first book I read about asexuality was Ace by Angela Chen. I had pieced together that I was aromantic and asexual a few months prior, and everyone was (at the time) hyping Ace and Loveless as the two best “starter” books. Ace was a straightforward read. The only hard bit came when she discussed the complexities racialized aces faced, but I pushed through and finished it feeling like I had a good foundation to start having conversations, etc. so, naturally I grabbed the Audible copy of Loveless, as my summer road-trip vacation read. (This was back in 2023.)

I had to pull my car over and scream and have a cathartic cry every few chapters. Not just because the book was such a beautiful depiction of asexual self-discovery, but because oh my fucking God, it hurt so much to see such beautiful examples of people able to have grown up conversations about their feelings, and express their feelings to one another, and fuck, it hurt realizing I didn’t have that until well after some of the most tumultuous years of my life.

I felt like I missed every important conversation I was supposed to have while I was growing up.

I felt doubly robbed. Here I was going through the acceptance that love was for me, like Georgia put it in the novel, a mirage. And on top of that I felt robbed of years of ordinary emotional closeness with friends because of my fucking neurodivergences.

I haven’t talked about this, and honestly maybe this isn’t something to talk about, because it might dig up some feelings in other people like me, but I’m just tired of not talking about it. There really are days where I feel like the mix of my neurodivergences and my orientations robbed me of the kinds of friendships I see in Oseman’s novels.

[I’m not saying this next bit to show off. I’m saying this next bit because it leaves me feeling conflicted about having the audacity to feel bad about missing out on a richer emotional life:] I’ve had a phenomenal life. I have amazing friends. My emotional underdevelopment probably gave me the extra bandwidth to become very, very good at my career and my hobbies, and my apparent distance probably also made me a convenient “safe” everyday friend for most people I know. Meanwhile, for my present-day friends, my late development probably made me seem like someone who hasn’t grown emotionally distant with age. I’m not saying my neurodivergences or orientations wrecked my life. They gave me lots of amazing experiences and material perks. I’m blessed. But despite all that, I still just wish I had the ability to talk to people back when I really, really needed to talk to people.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I should probably have reworked it five times over before posting it, but I’m binging Heartstopper seasons 1 & 2 before season 3 drops, and having to pause each episode every ten minutes to silently have a five second meltdown, remembering things that could have gone better.

Feels good to get that out.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #asexuality #aromantic asexual #aromanticism #aspec #neurodivergent #friendship #venting #osemanverse #heartstopper

17 notes · View notes

imqueerandadeer · 3 months ago

Text

Okay it's time again for rants and personal stories no one fucking asked for. Todays topic: How fucking rampant and normalized ableism is, with comments from @pansgoobernonsense as usual.

Really long post ahead guys you've been warned.

The reason it has been featured in the last post and now this one is because it's also ND and Asian and I wanted to get other peoples experiences with ableism.

It also said that I can interview it for practice because journalism sounds cool to me and I might want to be a journalist.

Anyways obligatory disclaimer/reminder. I don't speak for all mentally disabled people because we are not a monolith!! For example I am great at masking my ADHD and Autism (I'll get into that with more context later) and it's somthing I've picked up subconsciously. Other people with my same conditions may not be good at masking.

Also this post will mostly center around mental disabilities, specifically ADHD and autism because thats what we have and know most about. Neither me nor my friend are physically disabled (to my knowledge) so I won't speak much on it because It's not my place.

Alright with that out of the way lets add some context.

Hi, if you don't know me or haven't seen my blog before (most of you probably have though in some shape or form) I'm Ollie or Cupid. I have ADHD, self diagnosed (and peer diagnosed) autism, and possible dyscalculia. Theres also a millon other things I'm suspicious about having but I won't get into those.

Lets start with this, imagine (or don't idc) that your back in *gasp* middle school. Terrifying. Now since this is tumblr I'm gonna assume most of you have autism and/or ADHD so y'all most likely know what it's like to be in middle school and be ND. But still I wanted to talk about my experiences with ableism in school.

Okay I've noticed that the difference of how I get treated because I mask and those that can't mask for whatever reason is wildly different. I have instructional support which is technically special ed and no one has ever called me "Sped" or the R-slur. Versus the the kids who visibly have support needs and their disabilities are present. They get called those things all the fucking time.

The hypocrisy of it all is what really gets me. Kids at my school will really stand there and call these other kids dehumanizing things while I stand there as a person with ADHD and autism having to akwardly laugh it off and pretend it doesn't effect me. Yes of course I tell them off but it doesn't work, because they have been taught that what they're saying is fine and people who have higher support needs are not human, which is wrong and ablesist.

Thats not even their fault really it's what they were taught. Although if they weren't taught it and they know It's wrong but still do it then it's their fault

It genuinely got so bad that me and my friends wrote a letter to the office telling them about the ablesist language at our school, I don't think the letters ever got sent but yeah it was that bad.

On another note I don't think my schools very wheelchair accessible at all, although I wouldn't know really because I don't use a wheelchair.

Now heres @pansgoobernonsense experiences woth ableism as a whole, while mine were mostly about school its are more personal

"My personal experiences with ableism are mostly from my parents, and since I have not one but two neurodevelopmental disorders I’ve experienced it a lot. The most notable of these experiences come from my parents reaction to my autism.

A notable example was the time I was crying because I didn’t want to go to a party (I had had a panic attack at another similar party at the same place with similar people) and my dad had said I didn’t need to go but my mom made me.

I tried to explain (through tears) that I didn’t want to go and my dad angrily called me “autistic”. I’ve also been told to just “act normal” in social situations (despite the textbook definition of autism being essentially “I can’t act normal in social situations”). My parents have also neglected to tell me about my diagnosis for basically my entire life.

I was diagnosed when I was 2-3 and only found out this year. The reason behind this decision was “if I knew I’d tell everyone and use it as a get out of jail free card”.

They seem to treat my diagnosis as a label rather than an actual disability. It makes sense, since historically mental disabilities haven’t been treated the same as physical disabilities, but it’s still an awful experience."

While my experiences with things like this haven't been as severe as Nicks experiences I do have some of my own.

One time I was talking to my mother and she said that they suspected I had ADHD but didn't get me tested until I was 12 because she didn't want me on meds that early, which yes is a semi fair point but still why would you keep your suspicions a secret until I startes to notice and suspect it myself. That seems so weird to me and it could have saved me a lot if trouble if she had just told me.

Anyways thats it, sorry if it's not cohesive or coherent it's 1:00 am for me, I need to sleep

#cupids not so silly thoughts #cupids rants #abelism #autistic #autism #Adh #adhd #adhd problems #audhd

12 notes · View notes