gentlespace

[gentlespace]

The Neurodivergent Writer’s Guide to Fun and Productivity

(Even when life beats you down)

Look, I’m a mom, I have ADHD, I’m a spoonie. To say that I don’t have heaps of energy to spare and I struggle with consistency is an understatement. For years, I tried to write consistently, but I couldn’t manage to keep up with habits I built and deadlines I set.

So fuck neurodivergent guides on building habits, fuck “eat the frog first”, fuck “it’s all in the grind”, and fuck “you just need time management”—here is how I manage to write often and a lot.

Focus on having fun, not on the outcome

This was the groundwork I had to lay before I could even start my streak. At an online writing conference, someone said: “If you push yourself and meet your goals, and you publish your book, but you haven’t enjoyed the process… What’s the point?” and hoo boy, that question hit me like a truck.

I was so caught up in the narrative of “You’ve got to show up for what’s important” and “Push through if you really want to get it done”. For a few years, I used to read all these productivity books about grinding your way to success, and along the way I started using the same language as they did. And I notice a lot of you do so, too.

But your brain doesn’t like to grind. No-one’s brain does, and especially no neurodivergent brain. If having to write gives you stress or if you put pressure on yourself for not writing (enough), your brain’s going to say: “Huh. Writing gives us stress, we’re going to try to avoid it in the future.”

So before I could even try to write regularly, I needed to teach my brain once again that writing is fun. I switched from countable goals like words or time to non-countable goals like “fun” and “flow”.

Rewire my brain: writing is fun and I’m good at it

I used everything I knew about neuroscience, psychology, and social sciences. These are some of the things I did before and during a writing session. Usually not all at once, and after a while I didn’t need these strategies anymore, although I sometimes go back to them when necessary.

I journalled all the negative thoughts I had around writing and try to reason them away, using arguments I knew in my heart were true. (The last part is the crux.) Imagine being supportive to a writer friend with crippling insecurities, only the friend is you.

Not setting any goals didn’t work for me—I still nurtured unwanted expectations. So I did set goals, but made them non-countable, like “have fun”, “get in the flow”, or “write”. Did I write? Yes. Success! Your brain doesn’t actually care about how high the goal is, it cares about meeting whatever goal you set.

I didn’t even track how many words I wrote. Not relevant.

I set an alarm for a short time (like 10 minutes) and forbade myself to exceed that time. The idea was that if I write until I run out of mojo, my brain learns that writing drains the mojo. If I write for 10 minutes and have fun, my brain learns that writing is fun and wants to do it again.

Reinforce the fact that writing makes you happy by rewarding your brain immediately afterwards. You know what works best for you: a walk, a golden sticker, chocolate, cuddle your dog, whatever makes you happy.

I conditioned myself to associate writing with specific stimuli: that album, that smell, that tea, that place. Any stimulus can work, so pick one you like. I consciously chose several stimuli so I could switch them up, and the conditioning stays active as long as I don’t muddle it with other associations.

Use a ritual to signal to your brain that Writing Time is about to begin to get into the zone easier and faster. I guess this is a kind of conditioning as well? Meditation, music, lighting a candle… Pick your stimulus and stick with it.

Specifically for rewiring my brain, I started a new WIP that had no emotional connotations attached to it, nor any pressure to get finished or, heaven forbid, meet quality norms. I don’t think these techniques above would have worked as well if I had applied them on writing my novel.

It wasn’t until I could confidently say I enjoyed writing again, that I could start building up a consistent habit. No more pushing myself.

I lowered my definition for success

When I say that nowadays I write every day, that’s literally it. I don’t set out to write 1,000 or 500 or 10 words every day (tried it, failed to keep up with it every time)—the only marker for success when it comes to my streak is to write at least one word, even on the days when my brain goes “naaahhh”. On those days, it suffices to send myself a text with a few keywords or a snippet. It’s not “success on a technicality (derogatory)”, because most of those snippets and ideas get used in actual stories later. And if they don’t, they don’t. It’s still writing. No writing is ever wasted.

A side note on high expectations, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism

Obviously, “Setting a ridiculously low goal” isn’t something I invented. I actually got it from those productivity books, only I never got it to work. I used to tell myself: “It’s okay if I don’t write for an hour, because my goal is to write for 20 minutes and if I happen to keep going for, say, an hour, that’s a bonus.” Right? So I set the goal for 20 minutes, wrote for 35 minutes, and instead of feeling like I exceeded my goal, I felt disappointed because apparently I was still hoping for the bonus scenario to happen. I didn’t know how to set a goal so low and believe it.

I think the trick to making it work this time lies more in the groundwork of training my brain to enjoy writing again than in the fact that my daily goal is ridiculously low. I believe I’m a writer, because I prove it to myself every day. Every success I hit reinforces the idea that I’m a writer. It’s an extra ward against imposter syndrome.

Knowing that I can still come up with a few lines of dialogue on the Really Bad Days—days when I struggle to brush my teeth, the day when I had a panic attack in the supermarket, or the day my kid got hit by a car—teaches me that I can write on the mere Bad-ish Days.

The more I do it, the more I do it

The irony is that setting a ridiculously low goal almost immediately led to writing more and more often. The most difficult step is to start a new habit. After just a few weeks, I noticed that I needed less time and energy to get into the zone. I no longer needed all the strategies I listed above.

Another perk I noticed, was an increased writing speed. After just a few months of writing every day, my average speed went from 600 words per hour to 1,500 wph, regularly exceeding 2,000 wph without any loss of quality.

Talking about quality: I could see myself becoming a better writer with every passing month. Writing better dialogue, interiority, chemistry, humour, descriptions, whatever: they all improved noticeably, and I wasn’t a bad writer to begin with.

The increased speed means I get more done with the same amount of energy spent. I used to write around 2,000-5,000 words per month, some months none at all. Nowadays I effortlessly write 30,000 words per month. I didn’t set out to write more, it’s just a nice perk.

Look, I’m not saying you should write every day if it doesn’t work for you. My point is: the more often you write, the easier it will be.

No pressure

Yes, I’m still working on my novel, but I’m not racing through it. I produce two or three chapters per month, and the rest of my time goes to short stories my brain keeps projecting on the inside of my eyelids when I’m trying to sleep. I might as well write them down, right?

These short stories started out as self-indulgence, and even now that I take them more seriously, they are still just for me. I don’t intend to ever publish them, no-one will ever read them, they can suck if they suck. The unintended consequence was that my short stories are some of my best writing, because there’s no pressure, it’s pure fun.

Does it make sense to spend, say, 90% of my output on stories no-one else will ever read? Wouldn’t it be better to spend all that creative energy and time on my novel? Well, yes. If you find the magic trick, let me know, because I haven’t found it yet. The short stories don’t cannibalize on the novel, because they require different mindsets. If I stopped writing the short stories, I wouldn’t produce more chapters. (I tried. Maybe in the future? Fingers crossed.)

Don’t wait for inspiration to hit

There’s a quote by Picasso: “Inspiration hits, but it has to find you working.” I strongly agree. Writing is not some mystical, muse-y gift, it’s a skill and inspiration does exist, but usually it’s brought on by doing the work. So just get started and inspiration will come to you.

Accountability and community

Having social factors in your toolbox is invaluable. I have an offline writing friend I take long walks with, I host a monthly writing club on Discord, and I have another group on Discord that holds me accountable every day. They all motivate me in different ways and it’s such a nice thing to share my successes with people who truly understand how hard it can be.

The productivity books taught me that if you want to make a big change in your life or attitude, surrounding yourself with people who already embody your ideal or your goal huuuugely helps. The fact that I have these productive people around me who also prioritize writing, makes it easier for me to stick to my own priorities.

Your toolbox

The idea is to have several techniques at your disposal to help you stay consistent. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket by focussing on just one technique. Keep all of them close, and if one stops working or doesn’t inspire you today, pivot and pick another one.

After a while, most “tools” run in the background once they are established. Things like surrounding myself with my writing friends, keeping up with my daily streak, and listening to the album I conditioned myself with don’t require any energy, and they still remain hugely beneficial.

Do you have any other techniques? I’d love to hear about them!

I hope this was useful. Happy writing!

[gentlespace]

work in progress

[gentlespace]

HEARTBREAKING: band you just discovered doesn't have any other songs that sound like that

[gentlespace]

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

[gentlespace]

reylo was probably THE worst thing to happen to star wars. just had to drool over a genocidal 6 and help encourage the derailing of an entire trilogy. no luke skywalker shouldn’t have killed him bc it would have gone against his morals but he should have phoned a friend

[gentlespace]

the thing about being nonbinary is that you really do start to forget that other people have such strict walls around what is and isn’t allowed for genders. i thought we all agreed that we made that up. could you climb out of the cave real quick and feel the sunshine for a minute.

[gentlespace]

dumb little elementary running jokes that i love:

sherlock’s conviction that the best way to hail a cab is by using a whistle, and the fact that this rarely actually works

joan’s obsession with the mafia, from her glee at any mob case to her godfather movie marathons to her dropping of mob slang

sherlock going to great lengths to come up with new novel ways to wake up joan, and her excitement when she gets to wake him

sherlock being an excellent cook who nevertheless subsists on soggy cereal and canned tomatoes

sherlock and joan’s utter devotion to their tortoise, from making him hibernation burrows to custom food to trimming his nails to the sounds of enya. sherlock also arranging that first kitty and then her son should take him when the time comes, as truly responsible pet ownership consists of planning for all hundred years of their lives.

sherlock’s absolute committal to doing any weird thing internet trolls ask him to, and his love of internet flame wars and arguments, because of course.

the fact that sherlock’s love of bees factors into so many cases, from “maybe i can torture someone with them” to “this company is obviously the murderer because they create bee killing pesticides” to “no i will not solve this crime because we are on the same bee forum and i disagree with the details of your bee husbandry.” like this adaptation really saw the “sherlock retires to the country to raise bees” ending of the books and ran with it.

joan being a fashion plate to the point that characters can tell she’s having a bad week if she wears the same sweater twice.

sherlock by the end of season one realizing that he really enjoys teaching (which holds true to the novels, where he was always eager to explain and teach his methods), and then proceeding to find or attempt to find a new protege about once a year, and then more broadly becoming flattered and convinced that any random character’s insights are due to association with him and his Amazing Influence.

whenever sherlock announces a fact mysteriously because he wants to be impressive, and instead the people around him roll their eyes, call him out, or announce or lie about other facts just to fuck with him

not quite a running gag but also: the way that after season one the wardrobe department settles on sherlock’s look, which is always very formal but just slightly off (shirts buttoned up all the way, even the collar; formal suits without a tie, always his sobriety pin on his lapel). like it’s just a very good way of communicating his character.

sherlock’s “i will uncover new facts by studying them in a new location” philosophy and the fact that you might at any point open literally any door and find him staring at a murder diorama there

[gentlespace]

hey don’t cry. trees grow out of the ground.

[gentlespace]

People are SLEEPING on the most interesting Leia & Padme comparisons because there's so much focus on Leia being "like Anakin" because she gets annoyed sometimes and Padme being this perfect moral beacon of truth and justice despite all of her very canonical lies and cover-ups and obstructing of justice.

If Luke is the Jedi that Anakin should've been, then Leia is the LEADER that Padme should've been.

Padme is a hypocrite, proclaiming that all people deserve basic decency and the right to safety, but at the same time allowing Anakin to get away with a mass murder with no consequences by covering it up.

Leia doesn't even let Han get away with being a little bit of an asshole, there's no way she'd let him get away with mass murder. She holds everyone around her to a higher standard, believing in the best of them but also but refusing to accept excuses for cowardice and selfishness.

Padme talks so much about wanting the war to end, but then allows one of the opposition's biggest generals go free just to get Anakin back because she cares about him, causing the war to continue to go on for even longer.

Leia lets Luke sacrifice himself because she knows it's possibly the only way they might have a victory and beat the Empire, even though she knows what he is to her and loves him. She knows what has to be done and respects the choice Luke is making and would never condemn their efforts just to keep him with her.

Padme's story parallels Anakin's, she devolves as the narrative goes on, until she's barely a shell of the person she used to be. That strength and moral clarity she showed as a Queen is entirely gone, leaving only a scared woman pleading with a murderer to come back to her.

Leia's story parallels Luke's, she gains more and more strength and clarity as the narrative moves forward. The bossy young woman we first met has become a confident rebel leader who knows she doesn't have to harden her heart to be strong.

[gentlespace]

generals quarters and the two bugs that keep weaseling their way in

[gentlespace]

hello x-files fandom. i love these two funny little guys

[gentlespace]

I cannot stress enough that all those things in sewing pattern instructions that seem pointless are actually very important

Yes, how you fold your fabric before putting down the pattern pieces and cutting matters, because it influences how the fabric drapes, and ignoring that can cause fit issues in ways you wouldn't expect

Yes, cutting an entire separate piece to sew to the edge to finish it is going to be better than turning the edge and stitching it on its own, because there are geometry issues in play that make it actually harder to just fold a curve to the inside.

Yes, cutting clips or notches into the seam allowance around curves should always be done, because those geometry issues will work on the seam allowances and keep the curve from laying flat (remember, clip when the curve goes in, notch when the curve goes out)

Yes, interfacing may seem completely superfluous and frustrating and an extra step to work with, but it adds rigidity and stability to areas that need it (especially under buttons)

Yes, using a fun quilting cotton print for lining looks nice, but the point of lining isn't to make the inside pretty as much as it is to make the inside slip smoothly over the layer under it, and quilting cotton is going to instead be prone to grabbing everything under it, so you really should use those annoyingly slippery lining fabrics

Yes, in general, you should use the kind of fabric the pattern tells you to use, because there have been centuries, if not millennia, of people throughout the entire world figuring out what fabric best suits what kind of garment, for reasons beyond aesthetics

I know that a lot of people new to sewing see these things and feel like they're things that just aren't necessary, because they skip them when they sew and the item ends up just fine. And if you don't mind the idea of your clothes looking homemade, then it is fine. But...if you're consistently skipping these things and end up unhappy with how homemade your items look, please consider that that result is at least partly because you're not following the entire directions

"Sewing" involves so much more than just the stitches

[gentlespace]

ezra going from being uncomfortable because he “didn’t do anything” after a tarkintown citizen thanks him for food, and not wanting to help the wookiees because it would mean sticking his neck out too far, and “who does that?”, why would he “risk his life for a bunch of strangers?” in the pilot; to sacrificing himself to an unknown fate to stop thrawn, with no second thought for his own life, but doing it simply because lothal is his home and those are his people. and he ends up saving them all and liberating them from the empire. and it is truly one of the best character arcs i’ve ever seen

[gentlespace]

if you love downloading pdfs you are likely to never use again you have GOT to get into knitting

[gentlespace]

so i am going to put a break down of all of the things with pip to help other people understand

pip is personal independence payment. it doesnt change because of your job or how much money you make already. pip exists to give people money to pay for being disabled because being disabled is more expensive than being abled

for example, mike and john work at mcdonalds. mike has a disability. john doesnt. both of them make the same amount of money. both of them spend their work money on bills.

but mike needs a wheelchair, and he has to pay for his wheelchair repairs because he didnt get it on the nhs. mike wont be given more money from his job because hes disabled, so how does mike pay for his extra costs?

mike is given pip. this helps him pay for a lot of the extra things he needs, meaning he can stay in work because without his wheelchair he wouldnt be able to work at all and would lose everything. this is why taking away pip doesnt make people start working

pip is in two categories. daily living and mobility. there are questions in both categories and you get points for them.

for example (i cant give complex and specific examples, so this wont be accurate but it is similar to the real thing)

i can eat by myself - 0 points, i can eat with a bit of help - 2 points, i can eat with a lot of help - 4 points, i need to be fully fed by another person - 8 points

the other questions are things like do you need help getting dressed, do you need help going to the toilet, and they all look something like this but the points bits are a lot more specific than the example i gave

across the whole daily living category you add all your points up to the end, and if you get 8-11 points total you get daily living pip. if you get 12+ you get enhanced pip which means more money

so for example, mike got 2 points on every single question. this means he has 20 total points, so he gets enhanced pip meaning he gets the most money he can for the daily living section

the mobility section works similar, but i am leaving it out because thats not what the uk government want to change.

labours (they are in charge of the uk government) new change says that they want you to have 4 points on at least one question in daily living, and if you dont, you dont get pip.

so lets go back to my example mike, who got 20 points because of 2 points on every question, now has his enhanced pip taken away, because he didnt get 4 points on any of them.

but, for example, mike uses his mobility pip on the motability scheme. this means all of the money he gets for the mobility section pays for his adapted car, which also gets him to work. so he would use the rest of his money from the daily living section to pay for his wheelchair.

under labours new idea, mike wont be able to pay for his wheelchair, because his daily living money will stop. mike might have to choose between his car and his wheelchair. either way, mike cant go to work anymore. now mike cant pay for his bills, and mike is very poor and suffering.

up to a million people or more might lose pip entirely. this will mostly effect people with low support needs mental disabilities, and a lot of medium support needs people too.

this will also mostly effect people with mental illnesses. these people spend their pip on things like therapy, sensory toys, medicine, easy meals, snacks, lots of things.

there are NO RULES about what you spend your pip on, but most people still spend it on things they absolutely need

i was really scared at first that i would have it taken off me. it wont because im too severe and i get enough points. someone like me with high support needs wont be affected by this change but theres another change that will.

when inflation happens, it means everything costs more money. so for example mike needs to pay for his wheelchair repair, but inflation has happened so mikes wheelchair repair went from £200 to £300.

this is okay because pip rises with inflation, which means that when everything costs more money, mike gets more money from pip to make up for it

labours idea is to freeze that. so mikes wheelchair repair has now gone up from £300 to £500, but labour froze pip so mike doesnt get more money this time, and now mike cant afford to pay for his wheelchair repair.

now mike cant go to work, and might have to wait months to get his wheelchair repaired by saving up the money, so mike loses his job anyway because hes not there for months.

all of these ideas are very bad. there are other things labour can do to get money but they dont want to do them. instead they are targeting disabled people because they dont like us and they want us to work. labour says things that make regular abled people think that disabled people are the reason the uk is struggling. we need to fight this

[gentlespace]

my dad ate a cucumber today and he was like “wow this is pretty cold” and then he just slowly put the cucumber down and stared into space for a really long time until he turned to me with wide eyes and quietly said, “oh my god. cool as a cucumber.”