#//BUT ALSO LASTS SEVERAL TURNS TOO
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orphiicheartd · 2 months ago
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HE IS HOME!!!!!
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science-lings · 3 months ago
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I need some direction,
*an important part of this idea is the part where Bruce takes this opportunity to be affectionate towards his angry son and gets his hunch of Jason still having a strong soft side reaffirmed. He was pretty sure his son was still a sweetie pie but it's nice to see it first hand bc he sure as hell wouldn't do that kind of thing in front of his dad. He's that stubborn cat that sits on Jason's chest to force him to rest and takes advantage of his adorable new form to take care of his reckless son. Also after trying for a few days to pass along the message that he's not just a cat and Jason would not catch on he just gave up and set his objective to Being Clingy.
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aria0fgold · 11 months ago
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Thinking bout how Josephandre felt during that time in his journey where everyone started praising him as a chosen one or someone with a rich lineage of heroes and what not. I think he'd feel similar to Mira but couldn't show it outwardly at all or even tell anything bout it towards his own companions for fear of them being hurt or leaving. I think the reveal about his true identity came off similar in the way that Mira admitted about the fact that it wasn't the Change God that blessed her.
So the reveal hit Mira harder than it should that in a life and death situation like the one they were in, she just couldn't process it well enough that her favourite series' main character, that her favourite character especially, had the Same Troubles as her. I think Mira has been relying on Josephandre as a "he's a chosen one and he's able to do aalll these great things..." and she thinks a little less of herself cuz she Isn't a chosen one like how Josephandre has been praised so far. Only for the series' last issue to show that "Hey, Josephandre wasn't actually a chosen one. He's just an ordinary guy that wanted to help people." Mira emotions must've been a wreck at that revelation that, "Oh... he's just like me."
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 3 months ago
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I don’t get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I don’t know if I’d win, but I don’t think I’d lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think I’d survive at least and that’s not really winning but also not losing.
You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!
#emma posts#I used google translate for help because they haven’t taught me the phrase ‘kill me’ yet#taught me the word for beer øle but not the more important words like ‘kill’#as far as I can tell everything else in that sentence checks out so I figured the translation was good enough#not sure if it’s in the right order or if you use better that way in Norwegian. but good enough for a tumblr flop post#Emma’s adventures in using Duolingo#I should honestly use that as a tag for it#I post enough venting about that app#until I find out if I’m dyslexic for sure and there’s a way to help that with other languages. I’m not going to pay for Babbel yet#Babbel has Icelandic lessons too I think and that is my final boss tbh#I’ve been going from easiest for English speakers to hardest as my plan#and it turns out that I forgot how much some of my issues affect learning new languages#last time I learned another language it was Spanish and I’m not fluent but I’ve had classes and been around it for so long#that i kinda forgot what it’s like to start from scratch#I didn’t start trying to learn Norwegian until I was 26#or was it my 27th birthday? I could check my streak#I was like ‘psh. it will be harder with my disabilities. but I should be able to read. my top priority with this language’#and then I realized I had been somehow adapting to the other two languages since childhood and forgot how much I had to work around#I mean. I knew I was worse at language arts in school than I was in literature and writing. but still#I also already knew I was worse at making new sentences in other languages than I was figuring out ones that someone else made#but I thought that was just because I hadn’t used Spanish much for several years now#every time I try to re-learn Spanish it just ends up with me being able to figure out what someone said to me but not how to answer#if i brushed up on it again i could probably have a conversation with someone who understood English but better spoke Spanish#someone with the same problem as me but reversed language wise#please don’t take this as me saying I could currently have an entire conversation with someone speaking Spanish#I’m better than someone who never learned it and didn’t encounter it’s use a lot. but I really don’t think I could have a real conversation#not at the moment at least#I have been meaning to brush up on Spanish again too. there are at least real classes in my area for it and not just an app#the last time there were Norwegian classes around here my dad was in college and old people still spoke it#no one around here speaks it anymore
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cryolyst · 2 months ago
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i've been thinking a lot about how the need for efficiency can contribute to dangerous driving. it isn't the only factor, of course, but there's this desire to get things done as fast as possible, and get mad at people for having the audacity to not go at your pace. people honking as soon as the light turns, running lights, not bothering to properly check before going at intersections, cutting people off, to name some common examples. it's a manifestation of "time is money" and we have to rush things. in all cases, including driving, impatience is often discourteous, but with driving it can also become deadly.
#not really a point to this it's just been on my mind and last reblog just brought it up to me again#obligatory yes i know there are cases where people make honest mistakes or have other things going on that are in fact time sensitive#and that driving too slowly or overly cautiously can also be dangerous and cause accidents#but overall i'm just commenting on how especially in the city there's this mindset of going fast all the time.#like. we can and should practice taking a few extra seconds to let someone cross the road.#this applies to pedestrians too! like too often i see ppl running out onto really fast oncoming traffic!!#like yeah jaywalk if there aren't many cars or they're far off down the road or the light is just turning. whatever.#but ppl will cross in the middle of streets across several lanes of traffic that is going. so fast. like let's wait a little bit yeah?#the road may be hostile to pedestrians and designed in a way that doesn't account for how we need to cross#but the way ppl will refuse to wait a few seconds for the walk light on intersections with walk lights#or walk the few meters to get to the intersection. it's endangering and for what? to stick it to the car drivers? to shave 30 seconds?#idk. just think we need to all slow down a bit. it's ok to take time to do things.#before we had standardized time and shit i don't think ppl got this mad that someone showed up to a scheduled thing 16 insect chirps late#it's really annoying that everyone feels this sense of urgency all the time even when there isn't anything truly urgent happening#not on an individual sense but in a societal one. it's baked in with the capitalism and all.#they speak!
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trash-can-sam · 2 years ago
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OKAY this is a long one but I dont see people talk about Grace and I deeply adore her shes my second favorite (almost tied with first (Qi) tbh) and deserves more love.
Heres the line that I pretty much based this on:
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When I fist saw that line I was like oh thats interesting but then I learned about what she was and I was like OH MY GOD SHES TALKING ABOUT HERSELF. Because what are the chances she just happens to have a sister with a very similar job as her, and the wouldnt you get sick of a life like that implies she doesnt like her job even if she does actually have a sister.
(Also this line from her engagement letter)
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NOW THINGS THAT I IMPLY THAT ARE NOT CERTAIN BUT ARE TRUE TO ME (you do not have to read this to understand anything I just want to talk about her):
She genuinely is interested in archeology. Her collecting various things for archeolgy could have just been her making herself seem more convincing, but she does genuinely seem very informed on the topic. AGAIN, could be her being more convincing, but I wouldnt doubt if she actually majored in it (or at least took a few classes) because it would make sense to play a character with something youre kind of knowlegable about, and she seems to know quite a bit about specific school practices and genuinely be opinionated on archeology's place in the world. Also, her likes indicate this is something shes genuinely interested in and passionate about. THE DIGGING HOLES IN THE GARDEN THING ALSO IS NOT MADE UP, and she says "Old habits die hard I guess", implying (at least to me) that she did it for similar reasons or maybe that she found something that inspired her to be interested in archeology.
She definetly seems to not really have faith in the system shes in, or at least doubt in it. Im not saying shes radical or anything (IF WE ARE GETTING SPECIFIC (Using current day terms) she seems reasonably moderate, pretty center left yk but I wouldnt be surprised if she believed in more socialist policies and shes clearly informed in whats going on, partially because of her job and also because I think being informed is important to her) and she still does work for the government, but she seems to not really be completely content with it. I dont really have any concrete proof for that besides this line which is really just how she thinks:
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NOW she says she wasnt really involved in politics, which I think at the time shes saying this is true. I wouldnt be surprised if she was more involved when she was younger, but I think for the most part she has ideas. She really likes to think (also proved by this line, I think she thinks a lot of thoughts in a similar vein but for the most part doesnt share them because they dont really fit her brand) and I feel like that would translate more into thinking more of ideals than actual politics, especially since she feels like people who are noble and want to make a difference cannot under the current system.
I feel like there were more lines in quests and what not with her being more disillusioned but full disclosure this could entirely be an illlusion of the mind palace.
Since she also mentions specifically making a difference, I also decided to extrapolate that was strongly about her as well. Wanting to make a difference being attatched to her choosing the job is also something not said at all, but something I decided to connect because it makes sm sense to me
I THINK THATS ALL. But a lot of this is largely headcanon since we dont have that much info on her (Character development is still low, therefore I cry and sob and make things up completely BECAUSE ITS FUN.)
please think about her more so i dont have to make another 12 page kind of comic, mostly illustrated writing.
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immortalled · 7 months ago
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I forgot that I had all of Misfits S1 and 2 on my old iPod.
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Watched in the worst quality, on the tiniest screen, pirated from YouTube and smuggled onto an iPod Classic, as intended.
This just feels correct.
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stardestroyer81 · 1 year ago
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Five Nights at Freddy's 2 saw its ninth anniversary just a couple of days ago, and to celebrate, I wanted to attempt a redesign of perhaps my favorite animatronic from the game (And one of my favorite animatronics overall)— Toy Chica! 💛✨🍕
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wizardnuke · 6 months ago
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bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.
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neverendingford · 24 days ago
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#tag talk#yayyy first day at work went well.#woke up an hour before my alarm and then dozed fitfully with several severance themed stress dreams but not the worst#had the inevitable hella stressed out stomach problems but nothing some good breathing exercises couldn't help#I showered last night so I just adjusted my hair and then had some soup like normal.#I didn't quite account for having to wait at the railroad crossing but I still managed to arrive exactly on time.#did like two and a half hours of training online (tbh the workplace sensitivity training here is pretty good and does make me feel safer)#and then went up front to meet people. all my supervisors so far are really nice and helpful.#someone asked about and complimented me earring which is always nice.#why do people always seem to assume my earrings are from anime? I don't think they do but I get that question relatively frequently.#like. do I look like I watch a ton of anime? I really don't but of well.#oh hmm. I bet he asked about that because he watches anime. I bet I could ask him about anime next time I see him.#that would be a good way to make friends I think.#anyway. the store manager is also nice and said I have great energy and a good handshake which was pleasant.#tbh compliments from grown adult men make me wanna simp and turn into a dog immediately. I'm a pushover#uhh... who said that? anyway#this store's hr person is WAY nicer and more effective than my last store. the last guy fucking sucked ugh I hate him.#but yeah. hr lady is very nice and I like her so far.#I already got asked about maybe picking up a shift which might be a red flag? but I know how to say no if I need to so I'll be fine#oh! my work schedule literally just updated so it looks like I am covering that shift (I did volunteer for it so I'm chill)#I got to say hi to two customers' dogs too which was also cool and fun.#and even had the chance to use my small bit of Spanish with a customer which was cool.#I think work is close enough to bike to? but I'll need to lab out my route because traffic here is not very bike friendly at all#so I'm driving for the immediate future.#it's a relatively small store so it feels pretty cozy and laid back.#anyway. I'm gonna go explore the railroad track some. byeeeeee
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autisticlee · 10 months ago
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it's so hard to tell if i'm getting sick or not. throat pain and muscle pain you get from the flu? I have very similar feeling randomly all the time when it's not flu. so it's always like....which is it? regular expected pains or sick? I assume i'm getting sick when it happens at the same time. but that's usually a 50/50 chance. I don't know unless it either goes away in a few days or get worse.
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reasonsforhope · 1 year ago
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No paywall version here.
"Two and a half years ago, when I was asked to help write the most authoritative report on climate change in the United States, I hesitated...
In the end, I said yes, but reluctantly. Frankly, I was sick of admonishing people about how bad things could get. Scientists have raised the alarm over and over again, and still the temperature rises. Extreme events like heat waves, floods and droughts are becoming more severe and frequent, exactly as we predicted they would. We were proved right. It didn’t seem to matter.
Our report, which was released on Tuesday, contains more dire warnings. There are plenty of new reasons for despair. Thanks to recent scientific advances, we can now link climate change to specific extreme weather disasters, and we have a better understanding of how the feedback loops in the climate system can make warming even worse. We can also now more confidently forecast catastrophic outcomes if global emissions continue on their current trajectory.
But to me, the most surprising new finding in the Fifth National Climate Assessment is this: There has been genuine progress, too.
I’m used to mind-boggling numbers, and there are many of them in this report. Human beings have put about 1.6 trillion tons of carbon in the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution — more than the weight of every living thing on Earth combined. But as we wrote the report, I learned other, even more mind-boggling numbers. In the last decade, the cost of wind energy has declined by 70 percent and solar has declined 90 percent. Renewables now make up 80 percent of new electricity generation capacity. Our country’s greenhouse gas emissions are falling, even as our G.D.P. and population grow.
In the report, we were tasked with projecting future climate change. We showed what the United States would look like if the world warms by 2 degrees Celsius. It wasn’t a pretty picture: more heat waves, more uncomfortably hot nights, more downpours, more droughts. If greenhouse emissions continue to rise, we could reach that point in the next couple of decades. If they fall a little, maybe we can stave it off until the middle of the century. But our findings also offered a glimmer of hope: If emissions fall dramatically, as the report suggested they could, we may never reach 2 degrees Celsius at all.
For the first time in my career, I felt something strange: optimism.
And that simple realization was enough to convince me that releasing yet another climate report was worthwhile.
Something has changed in the United States, and not just the climate. State, local and tribal governments all around the country have begun to take action. Some politicians now actually campaign on climate change, instead of ignoring or lying about it. Congress passed federal climate legislation — something I’d long regarded as impossible — in 2022 as we turned in the first draft.
[Note: She's talking about the Inflation Reduction Act and the Infrastructure Act, which despite the names were the two biggest climate packages passed in US history. And their passage in mid 2022 was a big turning point: that's when, for the first time in decades, a lot of scientists started looking at the numbers - esp the ones that would come from the IRA's funding - and said "Wait, holy shit, we have an actual chance."]
And while the report stresses the urgency of limiting warming to prevent terrible risks, it has a new message, too: We can do this. We now know how to make the dramatic emissions cuts we’d need to limit warming, and it’s very possible to do this in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fair.
The conversation has moved on, and the role of scientists has changed. We’re not just warning of danger anymore. We’re showing the way to safety.
I was wrong about those previous reports: They did matter, after all. While climate scientists were warning the world of disaster, a small army of scientists, engineers, policymakers and others were getting to work. These first responders have helped move us toward our climate goals. Our warnings did their job.
To limit global warming, we need many more people to get on board... We need to reach those who haven’t yet been moved by our warnings. I’m not talking about the fossil fuel industry here; nor do I particularly care about winning over the small but noisy group of committed climate deniers. But I believe we can reach the many people whose eyes glaze over when they hear yet another dire warning or see another report like the one we just published.
The reason is that now, we have a better story to tell. The evidence is clear: Responding to climate change will not only create a better world for our children and grandchildren, but it will also make the world better for us right now.
Eliminating the sources of greenhouse gas emissions will make our air and water cleaner, our economy stronger and our quality of life better. It could save hundreds of thousands or even millions of lives across the country through air quality benefits alone. Using land more wisely can both limit climate change and protect biodiversity. Climate change most strongly affects communities that get a raw deal in our society: people with low incomes, people of color, children and the elderly. And climate action can be an opportunity to redress legacies of racism, neglect and injustice.
I could still tell you scary stories about a future ravaged by climate change, and they’d be true, at least on the trajectory we’re currently on. But it’s also true that we have a once-in-human-history chance not only to prevent the worst effects but also to make the world better right now. It would be a shame to squander this opportunity. So I don’t just want to talk about the problems anymore. I want to talk about the solutions. Consider this your last warning from me."
-via New York Times. Opinion essay by leading climate scientist Kate Marvel. November 18, 2023.
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noirandchocolate · 10 months ago
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Several weeks ago one of my coworkers called me over into her cubicle and gave me a very unexpected gift. Her mother passed away recently, and she'd been packing stuff up at her condo to give to relatives and sell, so the home could be sold. The mother was an avid knitter and crocheter, and when my coworker came upon her stash of equipment, she told me, she "immediately thought of me as someone who might get some use out of it."
So, I have inherited a varied collection of knitting needles and crochet hooks, cable needles, sewing needles, and, best of all, now-out-of-print pattern books, mostly for blankets, because that was what this lady loved to make most. Plus, I also have a bunch of gauge swatches she made, pinned to little bits of card covered in perfect schoolteacher handwriting setting out the patterns they were made to test.
And also...
My coworker brought another bag, full of yarn and...knitted blanket squares. Her mother's last started project, before she got too sick to continue. And she asked if there was anything I could do with it.
It turned out, there are twelve completed squares, and I quickly located the pattern book they are from amid those given to me. It's a book of 60 patterns, meant to be put together however the maker wishes into blankets of 20 squares. I figured out which of the numbered patterns were already made, and selected eight more that I thought might go well with them.
So now! I am working on completing! My coworker's mother's last knitting project!
And I really am feeling very good about doing it.
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joycrispy · 2 years ago
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Awhile ago @ouidamforeman made this post:
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This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...
It. It kind of fucks. Severely.
And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.
I'll explain:
As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.
Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.
(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)
Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:
"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." --Genesis 3:24, KJV
Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.
(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.
...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)
So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.
But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:
The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.
Do you understand?
The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.
The flaming sword was given to be used against them.
So. Again. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell lures it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.
That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.
...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.
They're Crowley and Aziraphale.
(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)
In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.
It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.
...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.
And the Serpent--
(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)
--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.
As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:
"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." --Robert G. Ingersoll
The first to ask questions.
Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).
And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.
And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--
(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)
--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.
To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.
Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel, and it's ~forbidden. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.
It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.
And then you keep writing.
And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.
(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).
It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)
...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:
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I love this shot so much.
Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.
You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.
"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every single human being. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.
But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.
Godfathers. Sort of.
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nat-20s · 1 year ago
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Shaun Temple is a fucking real one actually. You meet a woman who has allegedly just had a mental breakdown so severe she's lost a year of her memory. She's loud and brash and is NOT taking your name and you are like ohhh I can't not marry her. You two have a kid, the most amazing daughter in the world. Your wife has a hole in her heart aching for something that she can't identify and your daughter feels like she's from another planet and both of them have dreams they can't explain and you probably chalk that up to them being extraordinary but in an ordinary way where their hearts are too big and their minds are too brilliant to not carry some grief. And then it turns out that oh your wife has a best friend who's a ????? years old Alien that's the last of their species and also your daughter IS part alien bc technically your wife genetically is also part alien but also maybe not now? And then your wife is like. The happiest you've ever seen her and she fucks off for two days but and the world literally starts to end but she fixes it and she brings back her ???? years old alien best friend forever and is like WE'RE KEEPING HIM AND ALSO THIS WOMAN THAT I MET LIKE TEN HOURS AGO and now he's calling you his brother-in-law and is definitely co-parenting now you're like. Just cool with all of that. Not a single hint of jealousy or nothin. Honestly king shit.
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apatheticsunday · 14 days ago
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Batfam Eldritch Horror
AKA "inspired by that one post about Danny being a flerken and living with the Batfam" idea! Except he looks pants-shitting, "oh dear god, what is that" terrifying.
I just love slightly feral animal-like Danny in a... shape. It's not immediately identifiable as a cat or dog, maybe he has a few too many legs that kind of look like a tail at one point? And when he skitters up walls like a particularly small dog-sized tarantula, it's terrifying enough to make seasoned criminals squeal.
Let's imagine Danny had some sort of accident with a portal and was Wizard-of-Oz'd into Gotham, a literal hellmouth of a city with so many curses that it'd make John Constantine start to sweat. And this city also has... weird Ecto. (In my brain, there's a connection between the Lazarus Pit and ectoplasm, like pit waters are the sewers of ectoplasm or something.) It's enough for Danny to still exist but he can't seem to stay human-shaped. It's better than being a Blob Ghost, but not by much. His fur-scales-feathers-skin-something look dark as the midnight sky.
And who should stumble on this weird-looking Thing aside from Damian, secret animal-whisperer and passionate Pokemon collector? Damian, who known what a scared feral animal looks like and who can coax it into his arms? It doesn't matter that Danny has maybe five or six limbs. He can make himself slightly smaller at will (not in a Magical-Girl-Transformation way, mind you. When he changes shape, there's the distinct snap of bones breaking and wet, fleshy sounds of his organs, muscles, ligaments, tendons, everything shifting).
Damian has literally been trained by the League of Assassins under the Demon Head. He's likely seen more people's insides than an ER surgeon; he's killed more than enough people in incredibly grotesque and violent ways to be totally unphased by Danny changing shapes. Maybe he'll actually be sort of touched, a bit pleased, that his new Thing pet would change itself so violently so Damian could hold it.
What would Damian name it? He's outwardly violent and aggressive towards others, but pretty passionate and heartfelt once he cares for someone. Alfred the Cat comes to mind. So maybe Damian takes one look at this supposedly scary Thing and thinks, "It looks like Father."
As in, Dark as Night? A shadow inspiring fear amongst criminals? Spoken about in whispers, sometimes laughed off as a joke but still cautiously reverent, just in case?
Danny's new name is Batman.
Of course, this causes some confusion when Damian comes home to Wayne Manor and says, "Batman and I will retire to my room." In front of Bruce, who naturally and kind-of-correctly assumes his son picked up another animal while on patrol. Bruce had a hard time explaining this to a very concerned Dick, who was holding up a wooden stake and a bible (Dick totally wasn't going to kill Bruce if he turned out to be a vampire but it's always good to be prepared!), after Damian apparently made a wayward comment that "Batman refuses to eat anything besides raw meat."
And Danny is having a great time!! Sure, Damian treats him like a pet, but he gets affectionate pats on the head, incredibly expensive steak, and a soft place to sleep. He awkwardly dragged several blankets from the living room to Damian's room to make a bed in the kid's closet. (Alfred watched from behind the couch as this six-legged hairy-ish catlike Thing determinedly waddled with three blankets in its mouth, occasionally tripping on its own legs. He went back to dusting the crown moulding silently. So, that's why Master Damian requested uncooked sirloin steak twelve times in last few days. Hm.)
So, the Batfam accept there is another Batman in the family. Except they haven't actually seen Danny (aside from Alfred and Damian).
Until Dick needs to talk to Damian and goes into the boy's room. But it's empty?? He could've sworn he heard somebody talking or something in here, but maybe not? He turns to leave and then hears it again: a soft kind of thump coming from Damian's armoire. A shit-eating grin spreads across his face as his Older Brother Instincts kick in. Jason used to hide in closets and try to scare Dick when he was little; Damian, despite being a child soldier and trained assassin, was still a little kid at heart, right? The kid's clearly hiding from Dick to scare him or something.
(Damian was in the Batcave, studiously typing "Google, what non-Earth animals reside in Gotham, please?" into the Batcomputer. I like to think that Damian uses the internet like a 85-year old man who thinks a Google employee personally replies to each question.)
So, Dick creeps forward and abruptly slams open the armoire doors!! Only to let out an unholy shriek of terror as Danny, who was taking a nap, frantically skitters out of the closet looking like a Frankenstein cat-dog with bat wings. He crawls under Damian's bed as Dick scrambles into the hallway.
The cat-dog-Thing is out of the bag now. Damian looks utterly deadpan as he explains that Batman is his pet and not to concern themselves with it; Bruce, Tim, Jason, and a white-faced Dick disagreed. They need to see it to make sure the Thing won't harm anybody, especially considering it's fucking living with them!! How do they know it won't try to eat them in their sleep??
"Batman does not eat raw human meat, Todd. Why are you concerned now? It has resided with us for two months now."
"Two months?" Dick nearly faints (again).
"Yes, Batman is very well-behaved, Master Dick." Alfred, who's been feeding Danny for the last two months and has seen all the little quirks the Thing has, offers a consoling half-smile.
Ultimately, the Batfam decide to keep Batman in exchange for scary dog privileges. They'll have to think of another name for Danny considering having two Batmans in Gotham would be pretty confusing (especially if one of them decided they did, in fact, like raw human flesh).
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