#// but you're the Childe account I've interested with the most I feel

[viatrixtravels-a]

A dare for the greatest emergency food companion ever Paimon I dare you to scare Childe.

Send me 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 + a question or 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 + a command to get my muse's honest answer or see them do something out of character for them!

"Easy peasy, lemon squeezy~! I'll have that guy shaking in his boots in no time!"

Trying to hold herself back from chuckling and blowing her own cover, Paimon would track down and sneak up to @narvvhal, suddenly flying in front of his face while pulling a scary face.

"...Boo!"

[haunted-headset]

he looks just like a dream ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

summary: dating headcanons w/ remus lupin

a/n: hello!! this is my most recent fic on this account and my first Marauders fic, so sorry if this is bad!! also, please keep in mind that even though i'm writing a fic about something tied to the Harry Potter universe, this does NOT AT ALL mean i like JK Rowling. i've liked her books since i was a child and have been separating the art from the artist for quite some time when it comes to this. also, i've written Remus in more of a modern situation, so keep that in mind :)

tags: @back-totheoldhouse @daemontargaryennn @o-kye @unbeleevable @mochamuff1n @call-me-frosting-or-not-idc @dangerouslyyour (this is me just guessing who would be interested in this, please let me know if you would like to be removed/added from the taglist!!)

warnings: nicknames with "girl" in them but otherwise gn!reader, mentions of crying, mentions of scars

boyfriend!remus who's memorized how you like your coffee or tea. or if you don't like either, he's memorized your favorite drink and has perfected it every time he makes it. you tell him it's not needed, that you can make drinks yourself, but he says it's worth it just to see the smile on your face.

boyfriend!remus who wouldn't dare tell you to cover up with a dress or outfit you're wearing when you go out ("any guy who tells their girlfriend/partner to cover up because it makes him uncomfortable or insecure instantly just proves he has a fragile ego accompanied by a micropenis.") and he'll only suggest a jacket if he knows it'll be cold outside. if you're happy in what you're wearing, why should he stop you?

boyfriend!remus who reads the books you're reading to have an extra thing to talk to you about and to ensure he understands what you're describing when you rant about how much you either love it or hate it. "yeah I know, I can't believe he did that!" "seriously, the way the writer set up the plot is terrific." "what was the author thinking? the plot makes no sense."

boyfriend!remus who always gives you his clothes. his soft beige knit sweater? of course you can wear it to our date. you need to borrow his beanie because it's cold outside? please do. you want to wear his shirt to bed? just keep it, he thinks it looks 10x better on you.

boyfriend!remus who takes you on all sorts of dates. library dates, lego building dates (which turn into laughing hysterically because one of you doesn't understand the instructions and the other one does understand, but can't find the right piece), cafe dates, aquarium dates, baking/cooking dates, late night walk/drives dates...the list goes on (i will happily elaborate on any of these if asked). he may or may not stalk your pinterest to find out what dates you like

boyfriend!remus who subtly shows you off to the marauders. he's usually a little bit touchy with you in public (a hand on the small of your back or intertwined with yours, his arms around your waist or shoulders, etc.), but he does it more around his friends. it's not any sort of intentional possessive thing (like "grrr my bbg is mine you can't have her raaah"), he just likes people knowing he has a gorgeous partner :)

boyfriend!remus whose room is littered in random trinkets, some of which he'll randomly gift to you. a silver pocket watch he found with intricate details because he thinks you'd like it. a rock or crystal he says looks like your eyes. a flower that he found because he remembered the one time you said "what a pretty flower" when you accompanied him on a walk. a stuffed animal he found at a yard sale because it was your favorite animal. the list goes on.

boyfriend!remus who mainly shows love through acts of service and physical touch. your shoe's untied? he's getting down on his knee to tie it. your books are a bit heavy? he'll carry all of them for you. you're not feeling good? he's doing your homework.

boyfriend!remus whose nicknames for you are mainly "dove/dovey", "baby", and "darling". he calls you "sweet girl/pretty girl" when you're sick, under the weather, or sad, "my love/my dearest" when he knows you're upset, and "sweetheart" when you're in an argument.

boyfriend!remus who would be terrified of showing a lot of skin around you because of his scars mainly because he doesn't want you to be disgusted. he knows deep down that you wouldn't, but it's a deeply-rooted fear for him.

"Remus, your friends have scars. Does that make them ugly or bad people?"

"No."

"Some of the teachers you like have scars. Does that make them ugly or bad people?"

"No."

"I have scars. Does that make me ugly?"

"Of course not, dove."

"So then why do you think scars make you ugly if they don't make anyone else you care about ugly?"

[the-blossica-fan]

Blossica and A Nightmare At Green Lake

An analysis made by THE Blossica fan

Why do I love Blossica? Why is it so important for A Nightmare At Green Lake? Would the story be the same without it?

In this long rant I call "Analysis", I will tell you my thoughts, the reasons and MY opinion on this ship and its importance to the entire event.

It can not be yours, and I'll gladly listen to your thoughts and reasons, but here's why it is so important and the story wouldn't be the same without it.

It has been edited, there might be some more changes if I see any inconsistencies.

Let's start by what most people call this ship, Childhood friends to lovers. I've seen a lot of people call it that, and while it's not wrong, it's also not right.

The better term Is "Childhood crush", as Blonney (Jennifer) is Jessica's childhood crush.

Must take into account that Blonney never knew of Jessica's existence, the OG Jessica was Blonney's imaginary friend, Changeling/Jessica just happened to hear it and thought it was Blonney giving her a name.

Why childhood crush? Well, it's pretty easy to know that Jessica's infatuation that persisted through the years is far more than just friendship. From things like reviving all the stories she told, retelling them and even exhausting them for everyone else.

It's also not a secret that she has probably been looking for someone to replace Blonney's space in her heart, which is why no one has ever seen as interesting in her eyes.

In Vertin's words "What happened to those people that accepted to stay with you? When you ran out of available games, they were no longer adored by you. I can stay longer than them, but with no exceptions. I'll become boring one day." These words are a hint to something.

No one can replace Blonney's place in Jessica's heart.

And, what about Blonney?

Blonney is definitely a lesbian, but this is no headcanon, in fact, I'd argue this is definitely canon. From design hints like those hair clips (this is Bluepoch, they pay heavy detail to their models, this is definitely not a coincidence), to even more hidden hints in her stories.

Since a child, Blonney has been writing in her diary stories, but you know what's interesting? Blonney describes the women as beautiful, like in the story about the dead bride.

A bride that looks for other happy brides? Mmm, doesn't it sound weird?

Blonney also describes Anne/Anna in extra detail, as if she had some sort of fixation with her. Let's remember that this description of characters is not only a script, but Blonney's own thoughts written on paper. When she criticizes herself, saying she'll pay for her doings one day, it feels crude and out of place because that is what she thinks about herself: That she'll pay for being a liar and mean (an arcanist and a lesbian)

The event itself also tells us enough for it to not be speculation, but absolutely straight up in your face.

Blonney's denial of her arcanist self (she punched Jason and yelled that she was not an arcanist, for those with internalized homophobia, this is a common reaction. Anger), the iconic couch scene and later on, her discussion with Jessica.

"How many times do I have to tell you how much I hate being called an arcanist", this is similar to a reaction I had before, denial and anger. In this case, and during the entire event, "arcanist" is used as an allegory.

For fuck's sake, Blonney was CUDDLING with Anne right BEFORE the iconic couch scene. Jessica/Anne is the one that made Blonney start to accept that side of herself, alongside with Tooth fairy's guidance; a professional lesbian.

"You seem to really like me. You would jump off a car to rescue me, you protect me, praise me. You would even be happy because I was happy." "Because I've never seen anyone as pretty as you are. You're special, you're different to the rest of us"

Oh God do you see that? This is flirting.

And while some might say Jessica doesn't know what romance and what liking romantically means, I'd argue otherwise.

Jessica does know what romance is

Let me tell you quickly. Jessica said in "The nightmare of green lake", she has met a couple of people who have different relationships with each other. She has even interacted with them, as in, she HAS talked to them. She has 6 people (excluding Michael, Jason and Freddy) in a cave, she knows some stuff.

When she says "I like you", she knows what she means. Her desperation to get Blonney to stay is not only because she doesn't want to be alone, but because she wants Blonney and ONLY Blonney to stay.

It's possible she's not sure she's in love, but she knows her feelings go far more deep than just a normal friendship. Plus, she has lived with Blonney's childhood stories, and those horror stories do have romance (The pathetic bride includes romance, Jessica is the one behind the pathetic bride, she knows). She's not oblivious nor stupid, she's just inexperienced. She knows she likes Blonney more than a common friend (based on how she treats others), and I think she would never like anyone that's not Blonney.

And what about their relationship?

People think they're master and pet, owner and pet, and I don't think they realize how deep that goes. Blonney is definitely in need of a person like Jessica, who fully supports her and her unique ideas. Jessica loves Blonney unconditionally, there's no reason to not think so. Their relationship is perfectly healthy, Jessica loves being adored and treated as a pet by Blonney, and Blonney is happy to see her happy.

That line of dialogue about a collar, despite how sexual it might be, is made out of innocence. They're not just master and pet, they're girlfriends and, don't we all have weird relationships with each other? They're happy, they're good for each other and are what the other needs.

So... What's their importance to the event? Are they really that important?

Yes.

The event wouldn't exist without that crush and romance. If Jessica didn't think romantically of Blonney, the event would be different, she wouldn't try hard enough to just keep Blonney and much less plan to get rid of everyone around Blonney so it's just the two of them.

If Blonney wasn't in denial of her homosexuality (and arcanum?), the event wouldn't be about accepting yourself as you are, it wouldn't be a story about coming out and the morals wouldn't be as impactful.

It would be a lackluster event.

Their relationship with each other is of heavy importance because it's that crush and denial that make up the entire story. The horror is just a side dish, the murderer and all of it, because this is not a horror story.

It's a love story

"I don't care whether my parents allow it or not!"

"I will quickly reveal this true look of mine, and everyone will look at me as if I've done something wrong"

Huh? Are we still talking about arcanists?

These lines are out of place for a 'friendship', or a discussion about staying or not. This is romantic, and especially in the homosexual way.

This true "look" of mine, doesn't it mean love? People do look at same-sex couples as if they've done something wrong, and while Jessica is talking about her changing abilities, we all knows this is about her crush on Blonney and how society would look at her wrongly.

Because, if she truly didn't know about her crush on Blonney which is the basic of all; everyone knows about crushes and romance, then how would she know people would look at her wrongly?

"I don't care whether my parents allow this or not"? Is a line said in ROMANCE. All romance stories with a 'secret romance' have this sort of line, whether straight or gay, this is a basic must-have in this sort of relationships.

She's not only talking about Jessica's changing abilities and arcanum, she's talking about her own blossoming love.

Especially when Jessica asks if Blonney liked her story, she's seeking approval and a hint Blonney will stay by her side, this is a confession. Which is why she gets so down when she gets a "yes, I like it very much". That's not a yes, it's a dismissal, a 'not so important' thing. This is a rejection of her feelings, even if on accident.

And, why does Vertin intervene? Why does she have the talk to Jessica about staying?

Because Vertin more than anyone knows what it's like to let go of a lover, she knows about not being able to confess in time and she knows that if she doesn't intervene, this will be like her and Schneider all over again. Regrets. She's being supportive, she's trying to do what she couldn't do. She's playing cupid.

A place where no one would judge Jessica for her looks, also known as the homosexual suitcase. We all know that no one in Reverse is straight, or at least, 99% aren't. We all know no one would bat an eye if a deer girl was kissing an 80's horror movie girl in the middle of the wilderness.

This is the perfect place for both, Blonney and Jessica, a place where they can be together while not being judged.

And what about Horropedia, Sonetto and Tooth Fairy? What part do they play in this Horror story?

Oh, they're very important as well. In fact, all of them are.

Horropedia, despite interrupting the girls RIGHT BEFORE KISSING, is the reason they're there. Without him, this would be a psychological horror story. And Blonney and him are the wlw and mlm hostility, they're so hating on each other but they do care. Sonetto has helped Blonney in silent ways, not only by helping her become more herself and supporting her fully, something she needed, but she's also an example of someone who's tied down. They've become good friends because they both used to be in similar situations mentally and emotionally.

But out of the two, Tooth Fairy is definitely the most important. She has gone through the same experiences as Blonney. Arcanist living in human society and a lesbian. She knows what Blonney is going through so she's helping, in her own way. She's the one who makes Blonney start to accept herself, to accept the fact that she is the only one Jessica wants and the one who understands her the most. Blonney softens because of both, Jessica and Tooth Fairy.

Tooth Fairy was the key to Blonney's acceptance, and it's because of her talk to Tooth Fairy that Blonney treats Anne better, that she's willing to share more of herself, that she's more physical. It's not a coincidence that after slowly accepting the fact she's an arcanist (lesbian) that she gets more flirty and physical with Anne/Jessica.

This entire event was a way to talk about coming out, and I've watched this event so many times I wrote this out of memory. It feels this way because it's INTENDED to be that way. It's real, it's crude. It's so direct because that's what it is.

A coming out story, a horror story

A love story

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I've been dreaming of the Rose-Red Ruler.

Happy birthday, our most beloved Queen of Hearts.

May your smile be like a never fading flower.

How does a moment last forever? How can a story never die?

A soft knock is at his door.

Riddle tears away from his current textbook--a volume of advanced potions, open to Recipe for Happiness. On the list of ingredients were faith, trust, a little pixie dust, and...

"Come in," he calls, letting the contents of the book fall from his memory.

His mother enters, bearing a tray with a tall pitcher and a glass. As usual, her hair is pulled back into a tight bun and she is dressed impeccably: a scarlet pantsuit, heels, black lace gloves, and a necklace drawn tight across her neck, creating the illusion of beading blood. Mrs. Rosehearts gives her son a stern yet warm smile.

"Happy birthday, Riddle. You're still studying, even on your big day?"

"Yes, mother. This will be the year I apply for internships, so I cannot afford to slack off in my studies. I want to ensure I am the strongest possible candidate for the law and medical internships I'm interested in."

She nods approvingly, setting the tray upon his desk. "It's good to be thinking about your future now--but be sure to take breaks when appropriate. I've brought you some Darjeeling, first flush. Its light and delicate flavor is perfectly refreshing for a sweltering day."

Mrs. Rosehearts starts to pour the chilled tea for him. Right as the aromatic, golden brown stream ceases, she lets out a small gasp. "Ah, yes--your schedule is open tonight, correct? Your father will be fetching a strawberry tart on his way home from work, and I've prepared all your favorite foods. You can eat as much as you like!"

Riddle's stomach flutters.

There are so many things wrong with what she has said, but he exclaims the first question to emerge in his mind.

"We're having a celebration? Together?"

"Of course we are. It's your birthday," his mom replies plainly. "Why wouldn't we celebrate our special little boy?"

"I... I don't know," Riddle confesses. For reasons he cannot explain, his head suddenly feels foggy. "I just can't recall the last time we did something like this as a family."

You've never seemed happy with one another.

He does not dare say it out loud.

Mrs. Rosehearts carefully regards her child.

"Certainly, your father and I have very busy schedules on account of our work at the hospital. You've immersed yourself in your schoolwork. It can be difficult making plans that align with all three of us--but we make time to spend with our loved ones."

Mrs. Rosehearts leans down and plants a feathery kiss on his head, a hand lovingly stroking his hair. So soft, so tender. She smells of roses on a bed of vanilla and amber, the same heady comfort as the exhilaration of collapsing, out of breath, after spinning in circles in the summertime.

The frantic thudding in Riddle's chest slows. He leans into her touch, her fragrance.

"Okay," he says quietly. A slight wetness prickles his vision. "I think... I'd really like that, mom."

He stays there, in her embrace, for longer than he thinks he should. The minutes are slipping away from him, but Riddle cannot bring himself to pull away. The cradle of roses is enchanting, spilling wool over his eyes.

He is completely, utterly, certifiably entranced.

Ding-dong!

Mrs. Rosehearts lifts her head. "Hm? That's strange. That can't be your father. He doesn't get out of work for at least another hour--and he wouldn't need to ring the doorbell, he has his keys."

"It is odd," Riddle agrees.

"Excuse me, it will take just a moment to check. Perhaps it's the mailman."

Mrs. Rosehearts gathers herself and departs. From the study, Riddle can hear the front door swinging open, followed by muffled chatter. Excited, boyish.

His mother's voice, raising.

Dread fills him.

He abruptly stands, his chair harshly skidding back with an unpleasant whine.

Riddle races into the hallway and to the foyer. He's not sure which is faster: his heart, or his feet? His mind struggles to catch up, to process everything--

The front door is ajar.

His mother, on one side. And on the other...

Two young men.

One with short hair in dark green and bright yellow eyes peering out from behind thick frames. He holds a hefty cake in his hands--a shortcake iced in whipped cream frosting. The strawberries piled on top shine like forbidden jewels.

Beside him is a boy with choppy bangs, a pair of feline ears bearing a plethora of earrings pokes out from his head. He has a lazy grin and disheveled clothes, reclining like a sunbathing cat against the first visitor.

His friends spot him before his mom does, and their faces light up.

"Uh-oh, guess the cat's out of the bag now," Che'nya giggles.

"Wh-What are you two doing here?!" Riddle demands. Not angry, but fearful. He nervously glances at Trey--Trey, whom his mother had angrily banished from their home until the end of time.

"We wanted to drop by and surprise you," Trey explains. He's too calm for this situation--especially when Mrs. Rosehearts is standing right there.

Any minute now, Riddle suspects she will explode. She will scream at Trey and Che'nya until she is a darker red than her hair. She will slam the door in their faces. She will threaten to call the police. She will--

"Riddle, you didn't tell me your friends would be joining us this evening!" Mrs. Rosehearts beams, stepping aside and waving for the boys to enter. "Please, come in! You can spend some time together before dinner.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Myaaa-uch appreciated!”

Trey and Che’nya cross the threshold with ease.

Riddle blinks. “But what about my studies…?”

“Studies? At a time like this?” Trey gives a light laugh. “We’re not at school, Riddle. You can relax a little. Just let me put this cake away and then we can all hang out, okay?”

“My father is already going to be bringing a tart later…”

“Oooh, double the desserts? Don’t mind if I do! I’ll swipe two slices of both.”

“Don’t be greedy, Che’nya! You have to save some for the rest of us, especially the birthday boy.”

“Me?” Riddle’s brows crease. “I…”

“It’s fine,” his mother coaxes. “Go and be with your friends.”

“Is that okay? Is that… really, really okay?”

Mrs. Rosehearts steps toward him, taking his hands in hers. Her eyes are dewey, and her face looks more gentle than he has ever seen it.

“Yes. This is your youth, Riddle. You only live once—so live this life to its fullest. If you could promise me that, then nothing would make me happier.”

“Mother…!”

Riddle tugs her into a hug. It is fast, it is fleeting, it is a flicker of light peeking through a keyhole. He opens that locked door and emerges on the other end.

He chokes out his response.

Two simple words, carrying all his hopes and dreams.

“I promise.”

And for the first time in forever, he smiles with all of his heart.

But beyond the happy boy, cheeks streaked with tears, beyond the door that divided him from the world... a shadow hides in the shade of a rose tree.

It looks on, and smiles too.

"... It appears as though Rosehearts has have found his happily ever after at long last, fufu. How wonderful.”

[olderthannetfic]

Just curious, is Astolat fine with often being brought up in these talks and arguments about AO3's reason for existing? Just as a general thing, not like "talking about her being the origin for AO3" but more the focus on her works and her as a creator-expanding towards her work as a person in fandom.

I mean, I guess if things came down to it she could just dive down and make a new account for full anonymity for her fics again, but her Astolat name will still be THE ASTOLAT". I'm just interested from a perspective of interest I guess. Not to shame, or be like "How dare you drag someone into your arguments", and I'm not trying to make it sound like that! I genuinely I'm just curious about her stance on it, and since you apparently know her in a way I thought it was a simple way to ask. I know some creators, writers, artists try to distance themselves from certain things, and people parroting that to anyone who asks, so it's interesting to see someone not seemingly have a problem with it at first glance?

--

LOL.

Dude, astolat is a fellow fan. If you want to know how she feels about things, you should ask her.

I used to go to cons further from the West Coast, including ones she went to. I know her generally, just like a hell of a lot of LJ Olds know each other generally. We aren't, like, bosom buddies or anything, and IDK where she's actually hanging out these days. Her tumblr's pretty dead most of the time.

But as for whether she minds people bringing up Thorki... why would she mind?

Astolat is a bit older than I am, so she's, what, around 50? Why would she ~distance~ herself from perfectly good fic like a craven child?

Anyone who's a fandom old used to get flamed for liking m/m and had to build spaces that deterred the haters. AO3 is one of those spaces. We would no more take "Boo hoo, fictional incest turns people into perverts!" seriously than we would any of the other accusations we've gotten over the decades.

Anonymity isn't really a thing for that kind of fandom either. Sure, many people do hide their wallet name from the internet (though at this point, astolat's wallet name is extremely well known and she has openly connected her names online a few times), but I don't mean this.

I mean that for people of the LJ era or 90s slash zine era or whathaveyou, you pick one fannish handle and you stick with it. You're the same you forever and the people around you know you even if you aren't a BNF. I've had friends of friends of friends from LJ recognize me by my old LJ icon. It's a very small world.

It's a type of fandom that discusses. To write fic anyone at all bothered to read is to be discussed. Astolat has written more fic that more people have liked over a long period of time, so she's more discussed, but it's just a question of degree.

I assume she rolls her eyes when people treat her like an alien or a celebrity instead of a more-popular peer, but I've never actually asked her.

[gentlelass]

Hey there.

I know this isn't mainly a social platform of writing, and if you don't care for reading my long-ass bullshit, you're free to scroll. But I was very eager to post here a summary of my Oc, Marjorie's Ford life since her birth to when she first joined the Marigold Gang, at least for that couple of people who will care enough to bother reading, since I've always left you in the dark about most of her past up until now. I will make a storyboard with actual drawings to make it more interesting to the eye at some point, but it'll take long, so for now, enjoy what I have to offer.

The recurring year is 1894, and yet another baby girl is born under the prosperous (not for too much longer) Kingdom of Italy. But not just any child, falling short of aristocracy in terms of wealth: daughter to the Opera singer Caterina Casiraghi (Ford) and the handsome but opportunist American notary who snatched the Italian beauty as soon as he saw her, Christian C. Ford. Second to nobody in her own home but her older brother, Malcom Ford, Marjorie was still spoiled and pampered from all sides, and for a while, they were happy. 

But of course it was too good to be true, and soon enough Christian's misdeeds came biting back to him, after a life time of biting more than he could chew: the notary and most of his official possessions burnt to ashes in a fire, and although the cause was officially concluded to be an accident, his family knew in their hearts it was nothing but arson: between what remained of the man's belongings, in fact, the wife found multiple letters of a minatory nature coming from some unspecified shady client of the man's, that he had evidently proceeded to ignore. The widow, left on her own with a man to bury and two children to raise,  had no choice but to roll up her sleeves, and the broken family spent the next six years of their lives incessantly hopping from place to place, partially for the matron's role she played in different courts across all Europe as a requested and appreciated soprano, partially to avoid meeting the same early end as the late father and husband may his killers spot them if they stop in a single place too long.

Such circumstances weren't the most normal for the youths to grow up in, and the siblings came out as... not any normal really: while the weight of responsibility hung on the eldest's shoulders, stuck in the role of the "man of the house" and becoming gloomier with each day, the younger could only long to receive that much attention. Daughter unsuitable of inheriting anything, too young to get married to another rich man, and with a voice too small to follow her mother's footsteps into the world of Opera, she soon veered towards theater, her frame, just as small as her voice, nimble and agile, her movements graceful, her scenic presence lovely as she had learnt to emulate from her mother. Still feeling the psychological pressure that was truly only inside her own head from being both female and the younger child, where she couldn't follow her mother's footsteps she instead followed her late father's, soon adopting less-than-savory methods to get ahead in her career, eliminating the competition before it even got the chance to become such.

All prestigious careers however have as much of a raise as they are doomed to have a fall, and in 1914, when the Great War officially broke out, the entertainment business collapsed, specially fields as frivolous as dancing and singing, and the next thing which dropped at dizzingly fast speeds was... the Ford Family's bank account.

The Ford widow, ever the loyal mother and wife, used the last funds she had to send her children to their fatherland America like many other immigrants of the time to seek luck and a better life, and we all can imagine what happened to her, next.

The sole survivors of the Ford Family, at this point aged respectively 21 and 23, were soon separated yet again, however: not any more than a few weeks after they had successfully disembarked in Mexico, in fact, the Italian government spotted them, demanding that Malcom  came immediately back to motherland to fight in the army along all other male, able-bodied Italian citizens of age. The boy, after a lifetime of accepting responsibilities, had it drilled into his very subconscious by this point to always answer the call of duty without question, and so he did one last time, taking leave from his sister and all the money they had left. He wrote his sister letters and send her more money for some time, directing them to Mexico City where he had left her. After a while however he stopped receiving answers from her altogether, an no sibling ever heard from the other ever since.

This is because Marjorie after some months of permanence in Mexico, working some gigs here and there, plus the money she was receiving from her brother, finally saw an opportunity to build a new life all for herself, where she would be the sun, the star of the scene, rather than a mere moon in the backlight of not one, but TWO suns in her case, both mother and brother. Having been a nomad all her life Marjorie never learnt to truly form bonds and emotional attachments to people, always knowing she'd lose them as soon as she had to move yet again; hence the loss of her mother and the betrayal she inflicted on her brother never weighted much on her mind, or so she tells herself. She traveled all the way up to Missouri, where she soon started working as a maid at a certain Maribel Hotel, where a "kind", if sorta odd fella by the name of Asa Sweet welcomed her in his den in exchange of a mere few favors which would cost Marjorie nothing but a constant smell of bleach on her person, due a variety of reasons, and the sanity she had already long lost anyways.

Opportunist sociopath born out of heritage, of circumstances and most importantly of the intrusive thoughts of inferiority inside her own head nobody ever bothered teaching her the strength to fend off, the rest is history.

[maccamania-fnaf-sideblog]

Summery: I made this blog to satisfy my hyperfixation so that my main account (@maccamania) can be used more for my original characters and fanart from stuff I dont focas on as much. Since many people seemed to like my fnaf art, and I really like to draw it, I've decided to make art for it on this blog. I will start by reblogging any of the fnaf art from my main account on here and then any new stuff I make will only be posted on this blog :] but don't expect this to be updated everyday since I tend to shift my focus on to other interests (if I get bored of fnaf stuff I won't post anymore, and then when I get back into it ill pick it back up lol)

Is this an au?: Yes! It's mostly the same, but I've changed bits of the timeline to fit my ideas better.

Most of my designs and lore is from a little bit of everything, the games, the movie, a tinsy bit of the books, and loads of my own personal headcanons :D

Is fanart allowed?: YES 1000% go nuts I love to see it! You can use my art in pfp's too, just make sure to credit me :]

DNI: proshippers, zoo's, transphobes, homophobes, etc.

This blog is 14+ cuz yknow, child murder, dark topics, spooky stuff like that it's fnaf, I don't wanna see any single digits exposed to that stuff on my behalf so pls avoid this blog if you're too young

As I've stated before, idc what you're views on Scott Cawthon are as long as you don't argue with me or others on my blog, if you do you're gonna be blocked, keep that drama outta here because this blog is not about that, please and thank you!

Asks?: Yes :D Please feel free to ask about the lore or characters of my au or anything at all! I can't garrentee that ill answer right away, it really depends on what you ask lol

[furiousgoldfish]

Hello, so I checked the checklist thing and I realized that the things I experienced aren’t normal but I also don’t think my parents do this intentionally. I think that this is just the only way they know how to do things, like they just don’t know anything else. Neither of them had particularly good parents so I just don’t think they realize that some of the things they do aren’t good. They try their best to be supportive and stuff but they do control some of my things and hit me when I do bad things, I’m a minor btw. I think that since they grew up with that they think it’s normal.

Yeah I get what you're saying! I felt these exact same things as a minor, and could see very well that from the perspective of my parents, they are doing what they think is correct, and it's how they've been taught, and of course there's no way for them to know they're doing damage or neglecting you because this is all they know.

However, from an adult standpoint, I know that parents are responsible for taking care of their children, and that neglect, ignoring issues, or particularly hateful and cruel behaviour is very obviously, not a mistake or just parents 'not knowing how to do any better'. They know how to treat other adults as human beings. They know to be polite and sensitive with their boss, with people they're trying to impress. They know to be kind to their guests and relatives they want to be in good graces of. They know how to take care of themselves and give themselves the attention and care they want, and even get other people to do it.

While it's impossible for children to know better than they've been taught, adults absolutely know better, and you know, even if nobody ever taught them directly, they could have, picked up a book on parenting! They could have shown interest in gentle parenting or looked it up, they could have researched all possible illnesses and signs of trauma and distress on their child - btw I did all of those things, even not planning to have children, I read those books, I researched those things, just for a mere chance that one day I end up caring for a child. It's not out of this world to expect parents to give a shit about learning how to parent! To just repeat whatever their parents did to them (which they often complain was so tough and cruel and hard on them) is an excuse to be willfully neglectful, willfully abusive.

When you're a kid, you're convinced that you're doing a perfect job of hiding just how alone, sad, scared, upset and traumatized you are, but to an adult it's pretty obvious, you're not really capable of hiding it that well. And it begs the question - why do kids even hide it, why do they conceal their fear and pain? The answer is, because they've been trained to, because they've been punished for expressing that same pain in the past, because they've been humiliated, hurt, ignored or attacked for it. So the mere fact that you are concealing how their parenting is affecting you, proves that they did something to compel you to hide, to not bother them with your needs and fears anymore, they don't want to be responsible for taking care of it, for being your parents.

I know I made a lot of assumptions here, and I'm sorry if this is all completely out of the mark! It's just that I could have written this ask myself as a minor, and I thought these exact things, and then later on it turned out I've been groomed to think like this, and to not see abuse or recognize it at any cost. If it feels dangerous or wrong to acknowledge the abuse, or to hold your parents accountable for it, you can just ignore this for now, and not think about it. It is sometimes, dangerous for minors to be aware, or to try to call it out, and if that's your case, I support you to just survive the best you can, believing in whatever brings you the most comfort. Because this is not your responsibility to fix, this is not your fault, this is not shameful for you, or a sign that something is wrong with you, you are fine, you're doing exactly what you're supposed to, you're surviving. Keep holding on.

[eyeris-moni]

are jeff and raz.. kissboys..???!?!

This ask's wording had me DYING HELP

Forever adding that to my mental dictionary HAHAHA

I have to be completely honest with you, I myself have no hecking clue what their relationship is.

And I HAVE TRIED TO FIGURE OUT OK OTL

The TLDR is that I don't know!! and that you're welcome to HC and see them how you want as of now.

My own reins are loose and I just draw what feels in character (:

Thought-vomit below in case you want to hear my thoughts on it. It's long because i cannot for the life of me remember how much I've talked about before--

__________________

Most of the time I'm more focused on exploring the intricate, intimate feelings of their dynamic (something I just can't do justice with a couple of doodles here and there aughh).

Like--

Let's talk about the almost infantilized elements of Raz's repressed nature.

(Btw, this is not an issue to me - don't feel bad if you genuinely, or even on a meme level, refer to him as a baby. From Raz's perspective, that's how you're meant to, and in turn, that's the narrative I often draw. I draw him cute - he is cute!)

Every character, viewer included, is invited to see Raz as 'babi OwO', because that's a part of Raz's wants. When he feels threatening, he will literally make himself smaller, visually plead for you to see him that way.

Not because he is a tiny baby, but because he has learnt that doing so makes people nicer to him. He doesn't actually ever become a child. Instead he will look the part to spark care in others, and adapt a very simplistic worldview when needed. Not because he cannot grasp anything more complicated, but because it's too distressing to do so!

Like imagine how you might start thinking politics in term of simple 'bad' vs. 'good'. Not because there isn't nuance, but because it's stressful and exhausting and takes away your ability to be happy.

Sometimes Raz does that, but instead of it being politics, it's everything!

And I think it's genuinely interesting how Jeff kind of knows this and once he gets an idea of how it works, he doesn't coddle or treat Raz like a child.

In part because he's a stubborn asshole and kind of refuses to infantilize Raz beyond what is 'healthy'.

He learns to treat Raz as an adult, but obviously simplifies and helps out when Raz is overwhelmed. Example:

The rest of the times he and EJ do their best to help Raz learn how to be responsible and build healthier relationship. How to be self-sufficient.

And it's important because it's Jeff that's pushing for Slender to let him into the mansion, arguing that Raz isn't just a kid, but an adult that can take responsibility for his actions. He's pushing and arguing for Raz to be viewed the same way Jeff knows he can be, capable and responsible.

THAT IS ALL TO SAY I find it genuinely interesting and endearing how Jeff is able to connect with Raz (by being a stubborn asshole) and in turn helps Raz by holding him accountable. To see the glimpses of Ezca before they ever truly met, and how he shuts down Raz's unhealthy habits of making himself smaller, while idolizing everyone around him.

It's cool and I do think it makes their specific relationship special.

I mostly talked about Jeff's influence on Raz, but I could also talk for hours about how my version of Jeff slowly learns to be more patient and more emotional from Raz being around. (I imagine he lost a lot of his ability to be emotional ever since he entered a pact with Slenderman.)

I think their friendship is really cool and complicated and full of little intricate parts and having to label that is HARD GKDNDN

I wouldn't know if there's anything romantic in there - I've never drawn anything with that explicitly in mind?

But I draw them very close! Raz enjoys physical touch and closeness, and as they learn to work together, (especially post roadtrip together,) Jeff is kinda chill having Raz just laying/hanging/sitting around and on him.

Really the one concerned should be Raz because lord knows when Jeff last has showered and washed his clothes but i guess that's a benefit of being non-human NFKDNSJS

_________

I'm so sorry for the insanely long rambly answers!

I've been walking around with these characters in my head for years and it's HARD EXPLAINING STUFF

Also yall keep asking genuinely interesting question about them and the fan/nerd in me desires to make sure I cover my bases-

[lilbabystuffieluver]

Welcome to my blog!

What's my blog about?

This blog is dedicated to educating people on age regression and the misconceptions of it! This is a safe space to ask any and all questions about age regression.

DNI

Here's a list of things/people I DO NOT want to interact with my blog! And if you do . . . Surprise! You're getting blocked! :D I reserve the right to block anyone with or without reason provided.

DNI if . . .

You participate in DDLG, DDLB, MDLB, MBLG, ABDL, CGL or anything similar!

If your profile is NSFW

You are/support endogenic system(s)

You support pro-shipping

If you're anti-recovery

If you're anti-agere

You're a p3do/MAP

If you're homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist, or anything similar

Zoophile or necrophiliac

If you're gonna talk about politics

Support problematic people

You support autism speaks or similar things

Gore/sh/ed accounts

About Me

Hihi! I'm Alex! I've been an age regressor since I was 14, and I'm 20 years old now! I'm autistic and have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and a few other things. Learning about mental health stuff (including age regression) is my special interest! I prefer to interact with adults only, so please do not dm me if you're under 18. I run a sfw 18+ Agere server on discord so DM me if you want the link! I also have a partner/cg so please don't flirt with me or be a creep otherwise I'm gonna block you! I'm very excited to be able to teach others about age regression and hope I can help some people :D

What is age regression?

Age regression is a sfw coping mechanism used to cope with past trauma, or to heal your inner child. Regression can be voluntary or involuntary. It can also just be used for fun or as a way to relax. People who age regress mentally regress to the age of a child. This can be to any age but for a lot of people it will typically be from the ages of 1-6 years old. Age regression can present itself in many forms such as baby talk, playing with toys, watching cartoons, doing kid-like activities, being more vulnerable, using pacis, bottles, and sippy cups, dressing in a childlike manner, difficulty regulating emotions and more!

Can age regression be NSFW?

No! Age regression is strictly SFW and should be kept as such. The reason being is people who regress are in the mental state of a child, and children CANNOT consent. Anyone who makes it NSFW is taking advantage of the regressed person because again, they cannot consent to NSFW activities.

Why do some people have the misconception that it's NSFW?

When people think of age regression as NSFW, they're actually thinking about something called ag3 play. Ag3 play is a k1nk where someone roleplays being a child while their "daddy/mommy/d0m" (i do understand that lots of regressors use daddy/mommy in a sfw way tho!) interacts with them in an NSFW way. Ag3 play is borderline p3dophilic as someone is "getting off" to someone who dresses/acts like a child, and it's morally wrong. (If you support ag3 play, DDLG, DDLB, MDLB, MDLG, or ABDL YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!! 🙂)The difference between age regression and ag3 play is that age regression is actually mentally reverting to the mindset of a child, ag3 play is only roleplay. If you're making your "regression" s3xual, you're not actually regressing. It's just a k1nk and roleplay.

Is there a wrong way to age regress?

Absolutely not! Age regression comes in many different forms and the way you regress isn't wrong or bad! There's not a wrong way to dress, play, talk, or interact with other regressors (just remember to be kind!). Just because you don't fit the stereotype of pastels, pink, teddy bears and hello kitty doesn't mean you're any less valid as a regressor! You can even like scary stuff while regressed and that's perfectly okay! You don't have to be picture perfect to be able to regress. You can be messy and loud and anything you want! Just do what makes you feel most comfortable!

Do you have to have a caregiver to be a regressor?

Nope! Not all age regressors have, need or want a caregiver! Caregivers are completely optional to have as a regressor and some people feel more comfortable regressing alone!

What's the difference between a good and bad caregiver?

Here are some tips for weeding out good vs bad caregivers!

Good caregivers

Speaks in a gentle tone and doesn't yell or raise their voice to get their point across

Respects their littles boundaries

Doesn't use physical punishments (hitting, spanking, etc.)

Is understanding, patient and kind

Rewards their little for good behavior

Comforts their little when they are upset

Finds other ways of communication when their little is nonverbal/semi-verbal

Bad "caregivers"

Punishes their little for "not obeying" them

Hits or spanks their little

Yells or raises their voice

Is manipulative (ex: saying if their little doesn't do something they'll be punished)

Involved in any k1nk communities such as ddlg, mdlb, abdl, etc.

Doesn't try to get to know the big side of their regressor only talks to them when they're little

Calling their little mean names

Tries to make their little touch them inappropriately/touches their little inappropriately

Downplays their littles feelings

Keep in mind that every caregiver/regressor dynamic is different but these are some green vs red flags to watch out for when finding a caregiver. I'll add more to this list later!

What are some common disorders that cause age regression?

Age regression is very common in those with (c) PTSD, Borderline personality disorder (BPD), schizophrenia, major depressive disorder (MDD), and dissociative disorders.

This post is a wip and more will be added later! Thank you for reading! :)

[doctorbunny]

So I thought it'd be silly and detract from this post to talk about fandom underneath it But I've been looking for a way to talk about this and I think this is as good a start as any.

I keep seeing a lot of people confused as to why Kazui, assuming he is a gay/aro/other closet LGBT man would want to 'decieve' Hinako by lying to her about being in romantic love with her and marrying her

It makes sense, if you're young and from the right area, you might not know a lot of history, its certainly not taught in schools. For example, to many people 'gay panic' is a cute trope, wherein a person struggles with their newly discovered identity and not a legal defence people used to excuse the beating and murder of gay people

Kazui is 39 years old. He would've turned 40 in August 2020, meaning he was born in 1980

When the comic above about Bert and Ernie getting a civil union (not even marraige yet) was made in 2003, he would've been 23.

By the time gay marraige was legalised in the US, it was 2015, Kazui would've been 35 (and despite Kazui being Japanese, because other countries like to copy America, the US legalising gay marraige was absolutely celebrated by LGBT people worldwide)

(here's a section of Our Dreams At Dusk a manga that began publication months before the legalisation of gay marraige in the US showing just two states legalising gay marraige as being news worthy to LGBT people in Japan) The first Asian country to legalise gay marraige was Taiwan in 2019 Japan is expected to be the second... but they're taking their time

Gender identity and sexual orientation are also not nationally protected civil rights, meaning protection from discrimination depends on the prefecture you live in.

And this is without getting into darker subjects like higher self harm/suicide rates or violent crimes against LGBT people

I don't want to be doom and gloom, many people are becoming more aware and accepting of LGBT people. But Kazui had every reason to wish to remain closeted

For all people talk about a 'divorce stigma' I believe it is silly to have expected a gay man in the 2000's, when many people even in the states thought gay marraige was unattainable in their lifetime, to have considered that when he got married to someone in an attempt to conform to society Especially because most difficulty to remarry after divorce comes from views surrounding custody laws and adoption. A lot of people don't want to get in a relationship with someone who already has children since they don't view them as their own on account of being blood related. This is probably why Fuuta's mother left Fuuta and his sister with their father. It's very notable that Milgram lampshades how by Kazui's age he was 'expected' to have children but didn't. We don't know Hinako's opinion on having children, but its possible Kazui intentionally didn't have any with her for this reason (despite feeling melancholy he could've had a child Muu's age by now)

Shidou had children (the eldest of which he likely sired while still being in medical school), Mahiru was still in university and thinking about planning a family, Amane notes that her mother gave birth to her when she was Mahiru's age. (TLs from Rochisama)

These aren't malicious feelings imo. This is Kazui noticing a coworker he likes is romantically interested in him and taking a chance on her in the hopes that playing a role as a straight man will make him into one. (unfortunately the suit doesn't fit) There is a Japanese saying of 出る杭は打たれる 'the nail that sticks out gets hammered in' suggesting it is better to not stand out (interestingly, the below lyric is the same in Japanese and English but in French its more like 'I can't take it anymore, I'm different')

It's also worth noting that gay people getting into heterosexual relationships even outside of Japan, used to be Extremely Common. Like my mother has a co-worker who did it

In addition, Yokohama is one of the more expensive places to live in Japan. Mixed with his expensive looking wedding and the traditonal dress of the family at his wedding. It's very likely he comes from a wealthy (conservative) background which would contribute to pressures

I'm rambling a little, i'm quite tired. But I don't want people to think this means they Have to vote Kazui innocent. I don't know your theories. Maybe you think he's straight or sexuality is entirely irrelavent to his crime or you think he's gay but you just want to vote him guilty for some other reason. Any reason is allowed (although non-milgram fans trying to use him as a luck shrine has to be pretty weird)

I just think that when you judge Kazui as a gay man who 'lied' to a straight woman, you need to look at the context it happened in and the many real people who still exist in marraiges like that. Beware whomst you call deceptive or manipulative in a world were heterosexuals feel entitled to your immediate coming out.

[dionysism]

do u want to rant abt theseus or any greek hero with various perceptions here ??

why yes! i certainly do!

okay theseus. this is my personal thoughts on him and it's not all based in mythos (some is but i definitely derail from it a bit with him i just Love to spin him around in my brain) and some of it does happen to line up with how the hades game characterized him which is funny and so personally catering to me but i'm not necessarily referring to his hades counterpart. but you could certainly read it in relation to him if you wanted!

i think theseus is really interesting and part of this comes from him having varying mythos from various accounts that all have their own take on him. some are sympathetic towards him (forced by dionysus to leave ariadne behind & he was so distraught that's what caused him to forget to change his sails) while others paint him in a less kind light (he just ditched her) and sometimes he's kind of stupid (going into the underworld with his best friend thinking they could capture persephone for the best friend to marry) and yet he's also very clever (out-witting and reversering the tatics onto his enemies in his six labors) so he's really fun to play with as a character because there's a lot you can do with him without really being "wrong" because it just depends on what you're pulling from & he has a lot. someone else mentioned it before in my tags and it's something i also find neat about him and it's that he's there for other hereos at their lowest (when herakles kills megara & the kids and his kindness to oedipus when everyone else is afraid his mere presence will curse them by proxy)

an interpretation of him i've always had (and i say interpretation because there isn't really anything that says theseus' confidence is a front in antiquity) is that he is secretly insecure and just overcompensates by acting very confident. and it's not to say that his insecurity has any real basis, with the six labors, the minotaur, divine parentage and so forth, he obviously is very successful and a great warrior. but you know. he had to earn it. he grew up in his mother's village and it wasn't until he moved the rock and claimed his father's sword & sandals and went to athens that he got his birth right. and his dad almost let him get poisoned until he recognized said sandals and sword 😭 and not long after that off to serve the city and slay the minotaur and it's like this post which is more about hades theseus but a good point and relevant he is the savior (and in many ways the mascot) of athens and poseidon is his parent too and i feel like all together this could add up to an extreme unwillingness to ever fail at anything ever. for god child theseus to fail is for athens to fail, and, you wouldn't want athens to fail, would you? of course not. i mean even the six labors. he didn't have to do that. he could have gone the quick & safe route by sea, and i mean yeah, obviously he didn't because this is greek mythology and there's no myth if he takes the easy path but it's also interesting to think about in the light of him needing to prove himself. and also, i think, he's a bit of an adrenaline junkie. like really enjoys the thrill of battle. maybe a little too much. like he's kind of a freak. i imagine a variation of him where the minotaur fight, with his bare hands (my fav depiction) was the most exciting experience of his life & he genuinely enjoyed the fight.

and him and ariadne. oh i love all kinds of varying takes and accounts and interpretations of them. theseus and ariadne are so fun. i mean really, any way you spin it (spin it.. like thread..). deceitful cunning theseus who feigns love for aid and leaves her behind once he gets what he needed. and yet, even then, he still took her with him. could've left her there in crete to face her treachery, if he cared so little, but he allowed her to flee with him. interesting! or perhaps, no, he did love her, perhaps more than anyone ever again, but a god had set his sights on her and so theseus had to let her go. and so stricken with grief was he that he forgot to change his sails, and well, how fitting, because he said he would change them if he was victorious, and was he? or even a ulysses dies at dawn type spin on them: neither of them care for the other at all! her using him purely as pr, "look how i've aided the hero in slaying the monster! and we're going to get married!" and him, "why, yes, of course i love you, and of course everyone will know we did it together!" only to spin around, take all the credit, and scorn her. (if you can't tell from my other posts i love udad theseus & ariadne lol) there's even one account he forgot her on naxos totally on accident and by the time he got back dionysus had already married her. which is just so?:$/?/ how do you forget to pack your fiancé 😭😭 i also like a take where he did love her, yes, but going back to that insecurity and unwillingness to fail i think he would be the type of person that would overthink things, assume you're going to leave him, and immediate respond by trying to save face and pride by leaving you first. i could see him on naxos in a moment of weakness and doubt thinking love gives her too much power over him and leaving her before she could hurt him. which, had they worked out, i don't think she ever would have. but i do like her with dionysus better anyway :P but ultimately no matter the variation i do believe theseus loved ariadne. even when he left her without divine influence, even in variations where it's despite himself. but i don't think they were meant to be.

and phaedra, oh god. he really did love phaedra. "how I long for it! long to lie dead. robbed as i am of the world of your love. your death is my death." & "you left me, you left, beloved one, finest of women seen by the light of the sun, or the starfaced night." (anne carson hippolytus trans) like i'm actually sick... robbed as i am of the world of your love are you kidding me. i think theseus is capable of so much love despite how many people think he's an asshole of a character. and i won't argue that he isn't also an asshole. because i mean yeah. but the love is there and i think you should know the love is there! theseus and phaedra. theseus "stain my clothes with the blood of your children i don't care i'm your friend." (paraphrased anne carson's herakles trans) theseus "never, i tell you, i will never shrink from a stranger, lost as you are now, or fail to lend a hand and save a life." (fagles oedipus at colonus trans) theseus "hateful to me is a gratitude that grows old. a friend who enjoys your prosperity but refuses to sail with your grief." (anne carson herakles trans) i mean i just. god. he's such a character to me.

but yeah tl:dr the theseus in my brain is a kind of insecure, overcompensating with over confidence, borderline adrenaline junkie that's ever endlessly proving he is The Great Theseus they all perceive him to be and gripping to this perception like a life line. if i am not the greatest i am nothing etc etc you get me. i think he can be selfish & an asshole but he is also full of love and proves this in how hes shown with phaedra, herakles, oedipus and, depending on your variation, ariadne. and again i definitely stray a little from mythos with my perception of him but it has its roots

& since you said "or any greek hero" i was also going to prattle off about my fav of all favs, odysseus, but this was wayyyyy longer than i intended it to be so i think i'm just gonna let theseus have this one for himself 😭

[koduflower2000]

"It's time to think outside the box 🤔🧐"

Hi! I'm Kevin, but you can also call me Kodu, if you prefer. I'm the actual guy from Twitter (X).

Pronouns: He/Him/They/Them (any of these is fine)

Age: 19 years

Nationality: Sri Lankan

Timezone: Indian Standard Time (IST) (GMT+5:30)

A straight guy who supports the LGBTQ+ community (more specifically, I'm a straight cisgender ally)

A silly child at heart

Open talker (yes, you can be friends with me if you want)

Draws art just by using a mouse.

Speed variation of me drawing is frequent (sometimes I draw faster, other times I draw slowly)

I'm currently learning Russian BTW. Я не знаю что я делаю. 😔

Also I'm learning Spanish, and a little bit of German and French for entertainment. I hope to learn Ukrainian, Arabic and Danish any time soon.

I do music (it's actually one of my favorite things to do)

I do programming sometimes (I haven't uploaded a single cool project in here at all, as I remember) (another one of my favorites to do)

I mostly don't swear, except when I feel intense emotions. (if you're comfortable with reading my posts with swear words, go ahead. I won't judge)

I reblog a lot, so if you really wanna see what I've been working on, here are some tags in which you can look around.

#koduflower2000 art - art by me

#koduflower2000 projects - will be a tag in which i present my art and music projects.

#koduflower2000 talks - mostly something i wanna say

#koduflower2000 answers - a tag in which i answer to tumblr asks in my ask box

Interests

BFDI:TPOT (Battle For Dream Island: The Power Of Two)

BFB (Battle for BFDI)

BFDI (Battle For Dream Island)

III (Inanimate Insanity Invitational)

AvA (Animation vs Animator) series

AvM (Animation vs Minecraft) series

Bluey series from ABC Australia

Chickn Nuggit (i'm sorry i didn't tell you earlier)

Minecraft

Saw and Gaty (totally okay with those ships actually)

Airy and Popcorn from HFJONE (totally okay with those ships as well)

Fanfictions (started writing one btw)

Rhythm Games

Gaming

Computers

Linux

Information and Communication Technology

Language and Culture Learning

Science

Technology

Sports

DNI list:

Basic (you already know it)

Ableists

Anti-semitic people

Racists

Homophobic people (basically homophobes)

Pedophiles (basically MAPs)

Sexists

Xenophobic people (including islamophobes)

Transphobic people (basically transphobes)

TERFs (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists, in other words, transphobic people who spread their gender opinions which are considered to be uncomfortable to trans people)

Advanced

Extreme NSFW accounts (a.k.a. the accounts with >=90% of the posts which are NSFW)

Pro-Israel people (I support Palestine, and no one can stop me)

People neutral with Palestine and the Palestinian people (Palestinian people are the best and they're considered innocent. Period.)

Zionists (If you try to interact with my account, I would like to fight you and block you.)

Proshippers (problematic ships, not professional ships)

Comshippers

People who spread misinformation against me

On thin ice

People who harass me or any of my moots.

People who think they're superior than everyone for no reason. (the only reason why i put it there is because i want people to talk with me instead of harassing me, because i already had a lot of traumatic experiences on twitter)

Blog Landmarks

tee hee moot rose! ^ ^

me too (a tribute to all my previous moots who have been disappeared from the internet)

kinda the reason why i don't interact in here as much as i wanna

the most important thing in tumblr that hits you hard like a high speed train

elements of the intro are subject to changes which occur periodically

[marshmallowprotection]

From all game timelines... In terms of writing, do you have a favorite Rika?

Oh, hands down?

If you're asking me for the most compelling arc that not only forces her to take accountability for her crimes from the very beginning, but also helps her get to a much-needed point of self-actualization where she can work on herself from prison getting the very help she needed from the start? Then, I'm going to tell you the Rika I enjoy the most is in Ray Route and the After Ending's Normal End.

The reason why the RAE's Normal End is Normal is because Rika is the one who makes a stand against Saejoong, rather than MC who's helping Saeran get the story behind his father's life so he can process what he needed, a deeper understanding of himself and pain so he's able to move on the way he wants to.

Rika taking a stand to say to tell Saejoong what she's thinks of him and HERSELF is one of the most poignant and powerful moments for her as a character. She tells Saejoong like it is, owns her shame and grief, admits that she needs help and to face punishment for a laundry list of atrocities she's committed. She tells him he needs to pay up an face his sins as well. She doesn't mince words and to see Rika Kim own everything she's denied is cathartic.

I stand by my statement I've always said. I want Rika Kim to take accountability for her actions.

I want her to face the prison sentence she deserves for everything she's done wrong, but I also want her to have self-actualization while she is facing her punishment for the rest of her life. She has to live with what she's done, and while it is just viable to hope that she lives in discomfort for the rest of her days, much like Saeran, I want her to find some peace over what she did suffer in life at the hands of those awful adoptive parents and the pastor who did unspeakable things to her.

I want her to live with what she's done. I want her to stay awake at night and think about all the awful things she has done to other people, and I want her to understand the depth of pain that has been inflicted on people because of her actions. But, I also want her to have the opportunity to heal from what she could never heal from to begin with. She needed a therapist who would be committed to her emotional needs rather than ignore the problem at hand and treat only surface level issues.

She still needs someone to talk to about her guilt and shame over Sally, her years spent feeling like a monster as a child until she took ownership of being called the devil to fight back against her pastor and her parents, and how devil and angel themes grappled with her on the inside for years as she struggled to find a sense of self outside of masking. She deserves the opportunity to talk to someone about those things. 

Having that chance doesn't excuse or erase her actions, because cool backstory and motive doesn't equate to an excuse for crime. I can't I have to point that out but narratively speaking, Rika is hated for a lot of justifiable reasons but for the people who think she's an interesting person and want to see her find some peace while facing DESERVED PUNISHMENT FOR HER CRIMES shouldn't get kicked over and over to hell and back for saying they like her in any capacity.

That really has nothing to do with your question, I just feel the need to say it because anytime I answer a question about her or Jihyun in a capacity that talks about their crimes, sometimes it gets twisted up as people think liking a character somehow equates to justification of their crimes.

Seeing Rika Kim own up to being a criminal was cathartic to me as a victim. Sometimes, you want that person who hurt you to own up to what they've done and walk right where they deserve to be. Like my love Saeran, I hope she finds some peace with her trauma, but I don't want to see her again after this moment, and this is the end to Rika's involvement in our lives as far as I'm concerned with my timeline with Saeran Choi.

For the people who haven't played the RAE Normal Ending or aren't particularly interested in doing so, I'm just going to paste this down below for you to look at. 

[oliviax727]

I finally gotten to it, I am finally going to start learning a language (Spanish)

Wait, why should I care?

You don't need to care at all. I just want to keep a public record of my progress and see if I can pull off the effort for long enough to achieve my goals.

If you're not interested, there's no shame in scrolling past this post once a month. And dw, these posts will be at most monthly. So if you're here for something else, this won't clog things up.

If you're concerned about the physics, reminder this is my personal account, and there's another one exclusively for those who just want the science without the shitposting/personal/political stuff.

Though if you're like a linguist or something - or are interested in language stuff in general, I'm sure you can find some value in this post perhaps.

What language will it be?

tl;dr Spanish

Also I love putting all this colour in my post. It satisfies my autism so much.

Now, I've come from a very multilingual background. I learned mandarin between age 5 - 13, and latin in grades 7 thru 8.

Mandarin was a language I could never get the hang of.

It probably had to do with some child-like racism combined with a lack of motivation.

Buuuuut it most likely was a consequence of when I moved from Hong Kong to Australia, my new school did not accomodate the fact I was already experienced.

Nevertheless, I feel as if my Mandarin skills have been overshot, and I don't think I'd be motivated to re-learn it unless I overwhelmingly succeed in this.

Latin was just a dud - I decided to do it because I thought it would be interesting, but dropped it after I realised I had too much on my plate heading into 9th grade.

But Spanish on the other hand, well, there are three better reasons why I choose to learn it:

I never really got an opportunity. I stopped wanting to learn from my abuela when I was 3-5 yo, and my Australian high school also didn't offer it either (my high school's curriculum was dogshit)

A big portion of my relatives are tied to Argentina, with my mum being born from Argentine immigrants. She spent her high school years doing ESL as Spanish was her second language

Aspiring to do Astrophysics is likely going to land me in Chile, as the Andes is home to telescopes-a-plenty

I could've also gone with other languages I'm interested in, like:

German (because my abuela was born from German immigrants - no they were not Nazis, they actually fled in 1936 to avoid conscription)

Croatian (my abuelo was born in Yugoslavia and fled in the 1950s)

Greek (I don't know why it was my "latin is cool" phase, so I guess I wanted to do ancient greek but I don't know how much drift there has been over the last 2000 years thanks to the romans)

And thus I go with Spanish.

But what about regional dialects?

I am very aware that there are various dialects of Spanish within Latin America, and generally, most online methods of learning will teach you Spanish Spanish.

But I think it's more important to first learn a bit of basic vocab, and the grammar, before worrying about my regional dialect. I'm still pretty sure that the most common and important grammar conventions are still shared between languages.

And I already know that people will tell I'm a foreigner, because I'll have an "English"-like accent to it. Learning a specific dialect will only make it harder to tell, not eliminate being "language clocked" entirely.

So what's this going to look like?

Every month or two I'm going to personally report, to myself, via tumblr, my progress in learning. I'll list what I learned, what I still need to work on, and what I wish I could do next.

Effectively this is going to be a public journal of sorts, to make sure I feel like I'm doing this productively.

What's the weather like now?

Given that I've already attempted to learn Spanish twice previously, and being exposed to cultural influences, I already know a bit of Spanish.

Most of it is just random bits of vocabulary, that sound a lot less impressive if you were to try and make me say a sentence:

Custom greetings "Hola", "Buenos Noches"

Expletives "¡Ay caramba!"

The basic conjunction "y"

"Niño, niña, hombre"

Agua (with the "con gas" or "sin gas" tacked on too)

Counting from "uno" to "treinta-nueve"

Some month names like "Mayo" or "Diciembre"

Some colours like "Rojo"

Some utensils and tools like "Boligrafo"

Other stuff that I won't be able to recaly suddenly

And I mostly only understand the pronunciation, most of the spellings I had to look up on google translate. Extra I's like in December or thirty, or that there's no "ph" in pen.

There are other simple grammatical rules that I know of:

Gender i.e. words that end with a you tack on a "La" and for o's you tack on "El". More generally you have to pay attention to grammatical gender

As an educated guess from knowing a bit of Latin, I'm sure there are noun and verb declensions that interact with gender as well

Word order, much like English, is SVO

Clearly, I have my work cut out for me. But I also have a head start over a lot of people primarily because I have experience in other languages related to Spanish, which can help inform me on grammar and common vocabulary. I also have some (minor) knowledge in linguistics.

Another one is that I don't just assume that Spanish is a 1:1 translation of English, where you can just swap words for others. This seems like a trivial fact. But you'd be surprised at how much "English-speaking privilege" can blind people who don't require learning second languages.

It can be much more effective to learn a language when you know your expectations.

What are my Goals?

Well, in the spirit of a SMART goal, I don't really know. Because I don't actually know how long it will take me to get to a desired level of fluency.

Sometimes a language can take years to learn, sometimes it can be picked up in just one. And there are so many different "levels" of acheivement.

Which is why my goals in the long term will be more vapid:

At some point, I want to have a semi-fluent conversation with my abuela in Spanish

I want to be able to speak and understand a proper, unbroken sentence within a few months or a year

Now, what I mean by "Sentence" is really finicky. I don't mean "Las mujers leen; ¡Soy una de las mujers!" (see I'm already learning ha ha). I mean a sentence you'd normally say like:

"Hey X, I'm gonna go to the store, what do you need me to buy? Ok see you in half an hour."

That will be a bit difficult. It requires a lot more vocab to get to that level. But of course, I know it's do-able because millions of people have done it already!

What are my short-term goals? And how will I learn?

For the short term, my goals are a little more simpler. Primarily because there will always be a course or an app that will help me learn.

And for the first few months, my goals are most likely going to align with whatever the app has designed for me to do.

The problem is that I feel like most apps will act as if they can take you from no-knowledge to fluent speaker in like 5 months tops, which for an adult sounds a little fishy if you ask me.

When reading through the recommended applications, I came across two that were appealing:

Duolingo, which is more fast-paced and short-form. It gamifies language but may not be great for formal education

Rosetta Stone, which is advertised as better for natural language learning. And requires more effort.

I decided to use both, mainly because I'm lucky enough to afford it ... for now. I don't have much other means to spend my money regardless.

The reason I choose to use both is simply because I want the best of both worlds, and that I can't tell which one is better until I try it. Duolingo makes it entertaining, Rosetta Stone makes it serious. Sort of the balance I'm looking for.

At some point I hope to stop using at least one or the other. But for now I have nothing better to do.

Anyways, that's all I gotta say on the matter for now. Wish me luck!

[squishfest]

Hello hello!!! My official blog intro because I felt like making one to explain my deal here and what for people to expect because I have nothing better to do E)

Link to my non-agere main - https://www.tumblr.com/screwboltz

Link to my non-agere board account - https://www.tumblr.com/boltzboards

Hello!!! My name is Lars! Or you can call me Fest, by my Tumblr tag!! :3

🚓I am a diagnosed autistic sixteen year old in my big age!

🚑 I am an age regressor, and my little age is exactly seven years old!!!

🚇My pronouns are He/Him, I am a boy, and my neopronouns are Volt/Voltz/Voltage!!!

🛺I am very masculine in my style, I style myself with more of an 80's jock-like clothing style! Meaning lots of bandanas, old band tees, jeans and converse-style sneakers! I even have a shag mullet-esque haircut!!

🚂I enjoy a lot of things! Mostly robots, hockey, soccer, machinery, metal and nu-metal music!

🚚I grew up in the outer suburbs with my grandpa and other men in my family, such as brothers, cousins, uncles, and more. So I'm quite masculine, alot different from usual age regressors!! And my regression comes as a form of comfort from having to grow up too fast in a setting where I had to take care of younger family members while I was still in elementary school!!!

🛻I can be very rowdy and overly excited with a lot of things! I've always been a bright colors and outdoorsy boy :]

🏈This blog is made to be an escape account for me whenever I'm feeling down or just bored! I won't always be regressing when I post, but sometimes I might be!

🏒As a primarily masculine regressor, most of my posts will fit into more stereotypically masculine-boy themes!!! But of course I will here-and-there make posts with softer/more feminine themes!! But I'm a boy and I just love robots and destruction!!!

⚽I will make primarily stimboards and moodboards, but once in awhile I may upload ramble posts about my interests and other subjects, but all will always be SFW!!

⚾I can take any kinds of asks!!! Wether it's simple questions, moodboards and stimboard requests, or just simple conversation starters! They will always be open, but that doesn't mean I'll always automatically respond! If I don't answer yours within a month, it's most likely because I didn't want to/didn't feel comfortable to!

🤖The biggest one, quite obviously, Transformers!!!

🔩Furry fandom!

🛸Cookie run, oven break & kingdom

🚀Alot of metal bands, but most notebly: Fear Factory, Powerman 5000 & Static-X!!

⚙️Funkeys

🔨Pokémon

🔗Object show community, multiple shows!!

Requests I will happily accept!!:

🦅Stimboards, moodboards, and maybe outfit boards!!

🦘Regressor and/or Caregiver themed character boards!

🐐 Agere/caregiver drawings of fictional characters!!

🐄Any child-based medias!

🐕Petregressor/petdreamer based requests

🐎Requests for fandoms I am not apart of!

🐒Character themed boards with more than one character

🐖Boards of oc's, fictional characters, songs/bands, animals, toys, and more!

Requests I will not do!!:

🐊Boards based around 18+ media and graphic 13+ even with regressor/caregiver themes! ((Aka no hazbin hotel/helluva boss, Southpark, Stranger things, The Walking Dead, most horror media, etc.))

🦕No themes with triggering topics!

🦖Absolutely NO KINK/NSFW!! This is a child-friendly blog, AND I MYSELF am a minor in my big age!!

🐢No themes of real people who have not given permission to be requested/included in agere areas! This does not include music bands.

If you're request doesn't fall under the no-do list and hasn't been replied to in over a month, it's most likely for a personal reason!