#parents playing dumb

[furiousgoldfish]

Hello, so I checked the checklist thing and I realized that the things I experienced aren’t normal but I also don’t think my parents do this intentionally. I think that this is just the only way they know how to do things, like they just don’t know anything else. Neither of them had particularly good parents so I just don’t think they realize that some of the things they do aren’t good. They try their best to be supportive and stuff but they do control some of my things and hit me when I do bad things, I’m a minor btw. I think that since they grew up with that they think it’s normal.

Yeah I get what you're saying! I felt these exact same things as a minor, and could see very well that from the perspective of my parents, they are doing what they think is correct, and it's how they've been taught, and of course there's no way for them to know they're doing damage or neglecting you because this is all they know.

However, from an adult standpoint, I know that parents are responsible for taking care of their children, and that neglect, ignoring issues, or particularly hateful and cruel behaviour is very obviously, not a mistake or just parents 'not knowing how to do any better'. They know how to treat other adults as human beings. They know to be polite and sensitive with their boss, with people they're trying to impress. They know to be kind to their guests and relatives they want to be in good graces of. They know how to take care of themselves and give themselves the attention and care they want, and even get other people to do it.

While it's impossible for children to know better than they've been taught, adults absolutely know better, and you know, even if nobody ever taught them directly, they could have, picked up a book on parenting! They could have shown interest in gentle parenting or looked it up, they could have researched all possible illnesses and signs of trauma and distress on their child - btw I did all of those things, even not planning to have children, I read those books, I researched those things, just for a mere chance that one day I end up caring for a child. It's not out of this world to expect parents to give a shit about learning how to parent! To just repeat whatever their parents did to them (which they often complain was so tough and cruel and hard on them) is an excuse to be willfully neglectful, willfully abusive.

When you're a kid, you're convinced that you're doing a perfect job of hiding just how alone, sad, scared, upset and traumatized you are, but to an adult it's pretty obvious, you're not really capable of hiding it that well. And it begs the question - why do kids even hide it, why do they conceal their fear and pain? The answer is, because they've been trained to, because they've been punished for expressing that same pain in the past, because they've been humiliated, hurt, ignored or attacked for it. So the mere fact that you are concealing how their parenting is affecting you, proves that they did something to compel you to hide, to not bother them with your needs and fears anymore, they don't want to be responsible for taking care of it, for being your parents.

I know I made a lot of assumptions here, and I'm sorry if this is all completely out of the mark! It's just that I could have written this ask myself as a minor, and I thought these exact things, and then later on it turned out I've been groomed to think like this, and to not see abuse or recognize it at any cost. If it feels dangerous or wrong to acknowledge the abuse, or to hold your parents accountable for it, you can just ignore this for now, and not think about it. It is sometimes, dangerous for minors to be aware, or to try to call it out, and if that's your case, I support you to just survive the best you can, believing in whatever brings you the most comfort. Because this is not your responsibility to fix, this is not your fault, this is not shameful for you, or a sign that something is wrong with you, you are fine, you're doing exactly what you're supposed to, you're surviving. Keep holding on.

[konakoro]

I was having a decent day, until I remembered a brief, easily-missable side story in one of the first levels of Bioshock 2, where a school teacher and a group of children on a field trip end up trapped in the amusement park level you’re in when the civil war started, and how you hear from her audio logs how she willingly gave up her own food to make sure all the children were well-fed, eventually finding a final audio log on how she realizes she’s dying from starvation but still worries about the kids she’s watching, and you find this audio log by a corpse positioned in a resting pose surrounded by candles and drawings and stuffed animals and I’m sobbing oh god -

[solargeist]

theres something kinda funny abt the fact that Watchers are very smart, like they’re observant and practically stalk players to learn more and more abt them and the worlds-

But they inevitably cannot help seeing them as children, despite all the studying and watching, they will think players are small, cute, and dumb !

The urge to guide and foster them into strong wise warriors is too much. The players need them to survive, surely.

Though seeing them as kids might be too kind to say actually, Watchers look at players like…. Maybe a new puppy… Ready to train, but then if the barking is too much, if they don’t listen, if they cry and they bite.. The Watchers don’t want it anymore.

Really depends on who you ask ! You’re in better luck if the Watcher sees kids over animals tho

[theotherbuckley]

Another reason Buck just thought he was a really good Ally is that Eddie literally took him on a whole ass romantic date but like as friends so how was he supposed to know.

[comic-sans-chan]

I adore how unhinged Garak is about the people he likes, because there's this theme of them being similarly unhinged. Like that colleague from the Order in Second Skin that he had to shoot and was like, "Aw :( ...Well Anyway" about. Or like Tain and Mila, both crazy bitches, imo. Or his last remaining contacts on Cardassia who he called up in In The Pale Moonlight who were all down to raid the Dominion’s underwear drawer at the drop of a hat. Like that's what Garak is used to. He likes excitement, he likes a bit of malice, he likes some cunning. And that's part of what makes Garashir so goddamn funny is Julian is actually a bit of a cunning, malicious little shit sometimes. If you watch the series knowing Julian's an augment, these moments come up all the time where it's clear he's fucking with people for his own amusement. Taking people for a bit of a ride just to see what happens. Then ofc there are all the gross incel fuckboy moments, but. 

I just love the idea of Julian going on some insane borderline villainous monologue about something or other and Garak sitting there with hearts swirling around his head. Don't get me wrong, Garak loves Julian for his goodness first and foremost, but Julian's not perfect and I think that makes the ship so much more interesting because I can't really see Garak finding most of Julian's worst flaws anything but thrilling. We go on about Garak loving Julian's infodumping and argumentativeness, but after the augment thing comes out, I think he equally enjoys watching Julian play dumb with people and Knowing he's playing dumb. It compliments his own Just a Simple Tailor routine so perfectly. They're just normal men. Just innocent men.

[tea-drinking-bitch]

Rotmhs au where everything is the same except Chung Myung was reincarnated into a body of a five year old

[aquarterasian]

character like Alice but she’s very much not on the precure side at first but she’s not on the villains side either she’s just a kid who likes knowing a secret nobody else does and being able to hold it over their heads. Then she ends up helping the villains in some way resulting in them nearly being defeated and she realizes she made a huge mistake and ends up becoming the mid season cure

[musubiki]

i always ponder about to what degree limes family knows about magic and how much hes involved in it....like it is one of those things where he has to constantly make weird excuses for where hes been and where all these injuries are coming from? do they know and help cover for him when they need to?? it remains to be seen

because i think that the capitol guard uniforms are similar enough between the regiments that post-timeskip they know he joined the capitol guard, but dont necessarily know hes in the magic-specialized regiment, so its just one of those "How are things going over there?" "Oh you know. Catching criminals, protecting the general public, the usual." while he fights magic creatures on a daily basis

[lightningzbolt]

Awsten Knight Hair (Two different files)

I started with showing Red & Black first as it's the latest but I made 17 swatches. I think I covered every significant color, skipping most Greatest Hits hairs as those are a pain okay, I am but a single person with GIMP. I did do the scene hair but I would like to some day do it on another mesh. I sorted and organized all my pictures of Awsten, over 400 btw, by hair color, to help me figure out the best examples of each, and to figure out which ones were just faded versions of the others, a few swatches are 'faded' colors, and which looked distinct enough to make swatches for. Green seems most consistent, I have the most pics of blue. Greatest Hits tricolor and red & black are my favorites. The blue is the first color that shows up on the swatches so the thumbnail shows blue hair to make finding it easy. I tried to mimic that the two distinct reds were not exactly the same. I've gotten way too fucking good at telling when a picture came from even if the color is gone from it. None of these are what hair my Awsten Sim normally has tho.

This is. I made this a couple years ago and never changed it from most outfits as it just makes him stand out and it took hours to make, I wanted to get the most out of it. Just one swatch here. Both of these are base game mesh recolors, so nothing else is needed. Standalone files. Also I went out of my way to grab werewolfy poses and emotions because I think it's adorable, okay. He's the least intimidating werewolf, but still my favorite. Forgive Jack's face and body and everything being in frame a lot I am playing as him.

Hair 1

Hair 2

[makkie-is-screaming]

I hate how many opportunities I didn’t get because I was a girl and no one cared about me enough to help me

[demonwebs]

who needs unconditional love and support from your parents anyways?? losers. that's whom. vitriol and eternal disappointment is where it's at.

[cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga]

Ah yes that bullshit forced engagement shit from schools.

Let's make everyone miserable by making people that hate this shit do it and force those that love it and would volunteer for it watch someone hate and probably be bad at it.

Though I can tell this mangaka agrees with me on this point what with this surprisingly accurate joke here.

[ruanais]

beating myself up over finding out one of my closest mutals support Israel and I’m gonna cry cause I KNOW I got too attached to them. rah. expect angst lovelies <3

[eclipsewxtch]

TWELVE EXES? whore 💀 in three years no less, slut 🏃‍➡️ he was introducing people to his parents every holiday, labour's day and he was there "ma I swear this one's the one🥰" help 😭 his parents must be so tired of his ass

vance when they said they wanted you to make them breathless it wasn't that what they mean... robin don't hook up at all?? damn 🙏🫥

oh no he didn’t introduce them to HIS parents, but he consistently got introduced to theirs😭 he was nottt bringing them home to his ma he knew deep in his heart of hearts that would not be a good idea😭

[isekyaaa]

Inazuma and Sumeru have such huge problems, Liyue is dealing with their loss of a god, and then there's Mondstadt whose biggest social problem is alcoholism.

[darthrrevan]

sometimes I hate my brother, sometimes he apparently thinks the only thing holding me back from a relationship from Henry Cavill is that he's married