#/ i really expected these to be different lmao
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[tfp] optimus prime x human!reader
summary: you had to go on a business trip. optimus doesn't take it too well
cw: obsessed!optimus, hardcore pinning, angst, i wanted to practice writing dialogues and it shows lmao
word count: 1800
an: i want you guys to know that i am reading EVERY reblog and comment from you swirling my hair and kicking my legs like a schoolgirl
you are so real for that anon
When you, out of your own free will, expressed the desire to join him on patrol, Optimus was overjoyed. You rarely got the chance to be together, just the two of you, always consumed by work or saving the world. And although Optimus wouldn’t dare ask you outright to accompany him on patrols (because the last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable), he deeply longed to spend more time with you alone. He knew he was feeding only his own illusions, fueling the machinery of madness, but by this point, he couldn’t stop. Not when you sat comfortably on his seat, gazing at the views outside the window, visibly content with your outing together.
He wanted so badly for this to be your everyday reality. Maybe then he could finally find some relief from his fixation, maybe you would even save him.
"Hey," you started, and his entire attention focused on you. "Actually, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while."
Oh.
Did your feelings match his? Did you feel affection for him as well? Had you noticed his suffering? Or maybe you wanted to reject him, once and for all, to make him understand that his passion was an illusion, that no matter how much he wanted it, the two of you could never be together — too incompatible, too different. That he had developed this coping mechanism, exhausted by the war.
But before Optimus could spiral further, you crushed his hopes.
"The company I work for is sending me on a business trip," you sighed, clearly dissatisfied with the news. "It’s supposed to take two weeks, but you never really know with these trips, especially since they’re sending me across the continent."
"I understand," he replied, his tone not betraying the turmoil within. "What does this business trip involve?"
"Oh, shoot, sorry! I should have explained that right away," you laughed casually as if you hadn’t just delivered news that shattered his spark. "Business trip is assigned by an employer for training sessions, conferences, exhibitions, and other boring stuff. Kind of like a mission, but without explosions, action, or danger."
It was good to hear that you’d be safe, though you would truly be safest only at the base, under his watchful optics.
Pessimistic, ugly thoughts churned in his processor. Of all the things he expected to hear from you, this wasn’t one of them. Suddenly, he feared being alone, feared his own dreams. Because he knew you wouldn’t be there to comfort him after a nightmare, and nothing else could bring him peace.
"I am sorry to hear we will not see each other for two weeks," he said, "but I am confident you will do exceptionally well on this assignment. You are dependable, unyielding. You can handle anything."
"Oh, thank you," you answered, a bit flustered. You hadn’t expected a compliment. "It just makes me sad to leave Jasper. I don’t say it often enough, but I have a wonderful time with all of you. With you."
"Likewise, [Name]. When are you leaving?"
"The day after tomorrow. Tomorrow after work, I’ll say goodbye to everyone else."
So soon. Too soon. He’d hoped you wouldn’t leave until next week, to at least give him time to mentally prepare for the separation, but you denied him that luxury. Not that any amount of time would have prepared him for this.
Slowly, subtly enough that you wouldn’t notice the change, he reduced his speed, prolonging your shared drive.
"I’m not sure I’ll have time to write," you warned. "Unfortunately, they’ve given me a really tight schedule. But! If I can, I’ll write to the kids. Oh, and expect some souvenirs — I’ll bring something back for you all."
"You do not need to spend your valuable time searching for trinkets. But if you insist, I will cherish anything you bring me."
"Aw, don’t worry—it’ll be no trouble." You waved your hand dismissively. "You do so much for me, for the kids, for the whole Earth without asking for anything in return. You deserve something nice."
"I do not protect your planet for glory or offerings."
"I know, I know. That’s very noble. And amazing. So many years, sticking firmly to your values."
He eagerly soaked up your praise, allowing himself, if only for a brief moment, to forget the world around him, to forget his duties, unfulfilled promises, fallen brothers and sisters. He’d never describe himself as 'amazing', nor did he believe the praise his own kind gave him about his greatness. But for you, he could believe it. If only for a moment, a few seconds, so that you’d leave on your mission thinking warmly of your time together and of him.
"Thank you, [Name]. Please know that I value your words tremendously."
"Oh," you blushed, "that’s nice to hear."
Embarrassed, you quickly changed the subject, unaware that Optimus was watching you closely, curious about your reaction. For now, he pushed thoughts of your departure to the back of his processor, wanting to fully enjoy your presence. You recommended songs from the country genre, one of his favorite discoveries on Earth, which he promised to listen to later. He knew well that this would lead to more daydreaming, imagining a future that would never be. Because no matter how hard he tried, his tomorrow would not be entwined with yours. His desires would forever remain mere fantasies born out of desperation, longing, and sorrow.
A week had passed since you left. In the lives of the Autobots, not much had changed because of your absence; they went on with their chaotic schedule. The kids, however, missed you. No more evenings spent helping them with their homework, working on your reports, playing games, or simply chatting. The worst part was that no one really knew what was going on with you. You rarely messaged, didn’t have time to talk, and when you did, it was just to say, "I’m alive, it’s boring, I’ll message you on Thursday." Life continued, despite how much Miko wished she could play games with you instead of doing her homework.
Everyone managed to adapt to your absence.
With one exception.
At first glance, it seemed like Optimus, the bot with whom you shared the closest bond, hadn’t been affected by such a drastic change. Nothing in his behavior indicated any longing. He didn’t express his opinion on the matter, didn’t ask, didn’t demand. As always, he buried his feelings deep within, playing the role of a diligent leader, hiding from everyone the nightmares running through his processor, now even more intense because of your absence.
He was withering, quietly and alone.
Until now, he had been content simply watching you. He had established a routine, unhealthy as it was, that kept him going. He knew that most of the time when he returned from patrol or a mission, you would be at the base. Even if you came every other or every third day, Optimus knew that eventually, you would show up. It gave him a sense of stability amidst the chaos surrounding him. But now? Maybe two weeks wasn’t a big challenge for you, but he was done after one.
Now, he wanted to be more than a passive observer. He craved physical contact, to hold you close, to feel your heartbeat against his metal. He wanted to know you were alive, to feel your pulse under his digit, to listen to its rhythm, to understand how your chest moved against his metal. He wanted to feel, taste, touch, enter.
He kept glancing at the spot on the couch where you usually sat with your laptop on your lap or spent time with the kids as if hoping that if he looked just one more time, you would materialize there. That everything would return to normal, that he wouldn’t suffer so much, that you would give him the daily dose of antidote he needed to function without plunging deeper into despair. But no matter how many times he looked, you weren’t there, and wouldn’t be for another week.
At some point, however, someone noticed their leader’s miserable mood.
"I can’t quite figure out what kind of bond you have with that woman," Ratchet said, pausing his work to look at Optimus. Before his friend could answer, he continued, "But she’ll be back soon. And whatever she’s doing, she’ll do it well. She’s tough."
"Thank you, old friend. I have no doubt in her abilities. But I would feel better if she were stationed closer to the base in case of a Decepticon attack."
"Mm-hmm," the medic scoffed. "Sure, that’s all it’s about."
Optimus had no response to that. He wasn’t surprised that Ratchet noticed his infatuation, but he would prefer that his friend not delve into the details of their relationship. At least, not yet. Not while Optimus himself was a wreck.
"Hey, hey! [Name] messaged!" Miko yelled.
The Autobot leader immediately approached the platform, finally abandoning his conversation with Ratchet, aware that it would only spark more suspicions. But he didn’t care anymore, not in such an important moment.
He stood directly behind Miko, with Bumblebee and Bulkhead beside him, equally curious to know what you had been up to over the past week.
"She sent photos, too! Look!"
Miko turned to show the messages to the others but paused when she noticed Optimus’s helm close to her.
“Whoa,” she whispered, surprised that out of all the bots, he was the one standing the closest. She swallowed, but her confidence quickly returned.
Holding her phone firmly, she displayed a close-up selfie of you. You were smiling, though the bags under your eyes betrayed that you were sleep-deprived, probably exhausted.
Optimus felt the accumulated stress, pain, and longing of the past week slowly dissipate. Everything was fine with you. You were alive, pushing forward with a smile on your face, happy to simply exist. Admiring your photo didn’t compare to seeing you in person, but it let him vent a little easier, granting him a brief respite from worry, gnawing at him from within. It was enough. For now. For a moment.
“She sends her regards to everyone,” Miko went on, “Oh, and she also asked Ratchet to take a break and mentioned she already bought a gift for Optimus and can’t wait to come back. Hey, I want a present, too!”
Optimus couldn't be certain if another week apart wouldn’t inflict even more damage on his processor and spark, or if longing would eventually consume him entirely. But he knew he was already lost, that you held sway over every aspect of his life. He was wrapped around your finger, tethered by a leash you didn’t even realize existed. And he didn’t mind one bit.
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The way Mike says “I say it,” during his argument with El about how he doesn’t say ily is very intriguing to me. He says it with so much….gravity? Solemness? Almost….somberness?? It’s so hard to pinpoint but there’s no warmth in his eyes and it almost feels like a mantra, and he does this little nod at the end of it like he’s telling himself, “Yep, that’s right, I do say it.” He says it like saying it will end the conversation. But it doesn’t.
I agree with other analyses that say he’s trying to gaslight himself in this scene too because what an odd delivery.
Also, have we ever really broken down why this entire scene proves that him not saying I love you isn’t born out of insecurity or, like he later claims, saying it would make El realize he’s just a loser soon? Because for one thing, it’s not like this is something that is disappointing El but she’s keeping it to herself and only confiding it in others. She makes it so damn clear that she wants Mike to say it, that it’s reached the point where she doesn’t think he loves her romantically anymore—if he loves her romantically but is insecure, then El confronting him on not saying it to her should actually make him feel more secure because it’s confirmation that she wants me to love her romantically. And it’s also showing him that he’d actually lose her faster by not saying it than by saying it so what the hell does he have to lose?
But more importantly, Mike insists that he does tell her he loves her.
So how the fuck would that work, Wheeler?? You’re afraid of saying the words I love you to her because you think you’ll lose her faster if you do but also you insist that you do say it?? So if you want El to believe that you do tell her you love her even though apparently her being told by you that you love her would facilitate you losing her??????
Bullshit, Michael Wheeler!
And I think you were the one who pointed out that Mike doesn’t say, “You know how I feel about you,” but rather, “You know what I think of you.” which is like, such a huge Freudian slip imo, especially because he then goes on to say only 2 things about her: she’s the most incredible person in the world, and she’s a superhero.
Nothing about how he feels about her. Just what he thinks of her as. And guess who also calls El a superhero? Her other friends. Mike says two things about El in this scene that literally anyone else in their party would. Compared to Will’s van confession where he talks about how Mike makes him feel—like he’s better for being different, like he’s not a mistake, and gives him the courage to keep going. That’s fucking romantic love right there.
Lastly I want to praise Finn Wolfhard for his microexpressions during that entire argument because I rewatched it over and over for this comment to try and find words to describe how he delivers that one line, but damn after El says, “You can’t even write it,” he has the most fleeting microexpression of panic that is honestly so impressive—it’s this eye twitch/muscle flex by his right eye and this tiny little flinch forward, it almost looks like the right side of his face minutely trembles, A+ acting right there👏👏👏
Hello!
First of all I'm hella sick and I just took some medicine so if I don't make any sense you can blame it on that lmao.
First of all, I just rewatched the scene to see if I could pick it up and my diseased riddled brain did notice what you're talking about. Firstly, he says with such certainty that you'd almost believe it if it weren't for the fact we saw how he signed his letters to El.
And secondly, is almost as if he's trying to convince himself and her that he does say it, probably because as you said, he expected this to end the conversation.
And see, it bothers me so much that people (the GA) don't notice the inconsistency in Mike's behavior because had not one, but two moments that should tell him exactly what he claims he needs to hear. The first is when El tells him point blank that she loves him too, and the second is this one.
Like, what sense does it make that he says he doesn't say the one thing he knows she wants him to say because he's afraid that it'll hurt if he loses her, but him not saying is clearly what's hurting her therefore might be the thing that can make him lose her, so WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT, MICHAEL?
And it's like you said, he says be does say it like he believes it, like he thinks he does which opens another Pandora box, because is like you said, he's telling El he says he loved and then turns around and says he didn't say it because he's afraid to lose her so WHICH IS IT? Can't be fucking both.
And yup, I'm the one who said that about him saying what he thinks of her and not what he feels.
He never says he likes her or anything remotely singular to her personality, is just about the things he thinks she can do which I still insist connects to her he associates El with physical and emotional security that he lacks.
But yes, he never said what she really needed to her, he said the opposite as a matter of fact.
I hope this made sense lmao
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stancest prompt :3 teen! stans getting handsy in the locker room after a boxing match
another one im combining together and um anon sorry this took soooo long, im gomma be honest this was my most excited to write but it turned out sm more experimental than i expected. not sure about the end result but i suppose i could always write a second version because i just had too many ideas for this one in particular lmaooo I went with Ford having some secret sadism he is very badly repressing so thats where the freaky style comes in
And uh, another ford pov. ive gotta write one in stans eventually lmao
~~
Ford never liked boxing lessons.
He never liked that the air was rich with sweat and dust barely ventilated through the hotbox of a gym, leaving every kid melting into pools of themselves. He never liked the sounds of rubber gloves meeting skin in vicious smacks. He never liked how their god awful, shitty coach would pit his favorites against the littlest guys of the rack, watching the big kids pummel new and inexperienced in some sick delusion that he was honing their skills but really, he was nothing more than a bully letting other bullies have a sick little power trip. Ford has been on the opposite side of those fists, in and out of the ring. He knows how this works, he knows how it plays out.
If there was one thing to like about boxing lessons, it was how getting called a "freak" im the middle of a match had gotten him a couple unsavory wins (but wins nonetheless) himself through sheer rage. Ford hadn't cared about playing fair then— he doesn't have anything to prove. Not to them.
Stan would usually agree, but this is where another one of their most fundamental differences rises: Stan loves boxing.
Ford doesn't know why, nor can he truly begin to fathom how. Back when they were children, Stan had a bigger target on his back for their instructors to send their seasoned trainees after. He was tempermental, but he didn't have Ford's wit and only ever swung his fists around desperately. He got provoked into losing his focus so easily, one second he's standing, the other he's being pinned on the mat. He was always the stronger twin between them, sure, but what's good with being a strong kid in a room full of stronger kids? Most of all: he was an emotional wreck after losing, which happened really often.
Stan fell hard and cried harder. And he was beaten down for it even more in the ring, and even outside of it. Moses knows their father didn't take Stan 'embarrassing' the family very well.
And Ford knows the way he used to have swab cotton and disinfectant onto his brother's swelling face.
Ford never liked that. Ford hated that.
But Stan didn't. Stan always came back, barely healed and raring for more
And now—
"And the winner— Stanley Pines!"
The name call catches Ford off guard, dragging him back into reality as the crowd around them whoops excitedly. Up in the ring, Stan is pumping his fists in a little victory lap while his opponent slinked off to the opposite corner. Ford scans, his attention on Stan's body, seeing the usual bruises that would litter his sweaty chest and broad shoulders, some landing even on his jaw. Stan rips his gloves off and spits out his mouthguard and that's when Ford sees it.
There's a cut on his top lip, small but red and angry, bleeding into his mouth. Stan's eyes meet Ford's and he grins, not bothered by the injury as soon as he saw his brother, teeth stained red and wet with blood and spit.
For whatever unholy reason, Ford's stomach stirs at the sight of it, an aching need popping but not that Ford knows what that need actually is. The need to take care of Stan again? The need to strangle Stan because even though he clearly doesn't need these classes anymore, he still keeps going? The need to take Stan by the shoulders and—
Then Stan winks at Ford. And that makes Ford's body stiffen, skin burning, making the quiet twist in his gut deepen further.
"And you're going to drop out after this, right?"
They're in the locker room, lucky to have it all to themselves after everyone else has packed up and left after the final fight. Something had come up in shop and their parents hadn't been able to watch Stan's match, but Stan was excited to retell his great victory or whatever it is. That's not Ford's priority, and hell it shouldn't even be Stan's.
"Wha?" Stan asks incredously, to which Stanford immediately muffles with a damp towel pressing against his lip. The bleeding has slowed down enough for Ford to finally focus on after checking the other bruises and inspecting the rest of Stan's body for any more injuries before he showers. There wasn't any more, thank God, but Ford hates having to check in the first place. His brother's casual confusion ate at his nerves now too, as if Ford said something ridiculous, or he just didn't hear Ford right.
Well, Ford has no issue repeating.
"You're going to stop taking boxing classes, right?" Ford say again. Stan's brow furrowed in confusion, which Ford ignores, as he carefully dabs at his lip. "I mean, at this point it's just pointless to keep it up when you've been going for years."
"Pff, as if. I ain't stopping now," Stan replies, and Ford frowns. "Why would I?"
"Stan... you're bleeding. You're hurt."
Stan chuckles. "Yeah? I always am after a match. Earth to Super Genius Poindexter: the point is to hit each other."
"You shouldn't be bleeding this much," Ford says, gesturing to his brother's face, the cut open lip.
"Aw, Sixer, you've seen worse on my face than that, and look at it. Still prettier than yours."
"Ha, ha. Very funny." Ford huffs, annoyed that Stan clearly isn't taking this seriously. Of course Ford has seen worse, has taken care of Stan when it was worse, but it doesn't mean he likes it. It doesn't mean he likes watching Stan get pummeled even if he wins. Doesn't mean he likes that Stan is sore and winded out after a match. Doesn't mean he likes seeing his brother sweaty and exhausted and turning to Ford's hands for care and comfort, malleable into whatever Ford could want.
He doesn't like that. At all.
Stan chuckles. "I got a match next Thursday, I can't stop now!"
Ford pouts, not understanding how that could possibly more important to Stan than his own brother's request. As if he's saying he doesn't believe that stopping his lessons, stopping this, is what Ford would actually want. Which is—
"Besides," Stan interrupts his train of thought, leaning into Ford slightly, palm on the bench they occupied. "You know I ain't mind the pain, whatever it is you're freaking out about. I'm used to it."
"Stan—"
"In fact," Stan continues, using that voice he pulls to mock Ford's use of that very phrase. He grins that bloody, toothed grin again. "I kinda like it."
The twist in Ford's gut tightens once more, and all he can think is fine. Fine.
Taking his free hand to the back of Stan's neck, he crushes his mouth against Stan's, ignoring his twin's pained gasp when the split lip comes in hard contact with Ford's. He doesn't push or pull away, and doesn't protest when Ford doesn't let up, kissing him and sucking on his lips like a man on a mission. The rich, rusty tang of blood lands on his tongue, filling up his mouth and Ford moans against Stan.
Stan barely exhales out of amusement. "I knew you were into freaky stuff like that."
"Shut up."
Smashing their mouths again, Ford drops the towel in his hand to run hands through the sweat drenched hair. Practically crawling onto Stan's lap, his warm, meaty thighs under his ass. God. Ford's been waiting for this. If anything was worth sitting through another one of those matches it was seeing his brother, dripping with sweat and bulging with muscles.
And having him all alone in his hands for 'immediate care'.
And feeling his hips grind against Stan's own underneath him or having Stan's hand around his leaking cock while they finish each other in the confines of the locker room like they have so many times before.
Cupping Stanley's face and craning his neck up, pulling him into a deeper kiss while Stan's hands go under his shirt, calloused hands on Ford's back and belly and squeeze. Ford makes a sound at the back of his throat, making him ache for some kind of retaliation. Instead of allowing Stan's prodding tongue access, Ford pulls back, taking Stan's bottom lip in his teeth and biting down. Hard. Stan jolts underneath him.
"Ow. Fuck, Ford."
"Oh, I though you liked that?" Ford sarcastically quips, not waiting to hear the "yeah, yeah, keep going" to continue kissing and abusing Stan's already injured lips. Blood is in his mouth again from the earlier cut, and damn it it tastes good and it feels good. It's raw. Violent.
For a second Ford almost felt the appeal of the sport itself. The primal and animalistic need to hurt someone asking for it presents itself in Ford in hearing the pained moans Stan makes the more he roughly grinds his hips and presses fingers into bruises and nip at his lips and pull at his hair. It's cathartic, and it twists sparks in him like a lightning bolt, setting nerves on fire.
And this time Ford caused it to Stan. His dick is straining against his pants, begging for release, with Stan's hand rubbing against him through the fabric. Ford's own were running over his bruised, sweaty skin and sore muscles that he hadn't realized that Stan hadn't even showered yet. But Ford is going to need one too when they're done anyway, so he pulls the band of Stan's shorts enough to release his hard cock. Stan unbuttons his own pants, eyes on their cocks now, licking at his red, abused lips while Ford steadies himself on his shoulder, touching them both into completion.
"Ford..." Stan mutters adoringly and Stanford just loves the way he lets Ford take care of him like this, loves the way he goes weak in Ford's hands. Loves the way he shakes while he comes Ford's hands, and loves the way Stan obeys while Ford drags him to the shower, ready to arrive home late after another good match.
Ford liked that. Ford loved that. And he dislikes boxing lessons a little less everytime.
#stancest#OKAY IN MY DEFENSE FOR THIS#I WAS SLEEPY ALL WEEKEND#ask#my writing#i really like fords pov i really like ford being into blood
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This may be a bit broad but for the RO who have loving parents, what would they think of MC when
They first meet them
Vs
They start dating their kid
Vs
They marry them
The way I had to sit and and actually think about who of the RO's actually have a healthy family dynamic lmao! I mean, it's technically just Valeria and Cassandra but because I don't want to give just the Castellions some love; I'll include Aurelio even though his dad passes just before the story technically starts.
-
They first meet them:
Cassandra: Alejandro dislikes MC upon first meeting because Cass is his world and nobody in his eyes will ever be good enough for his little girl. Would act extra scary on purpose and while Cass knows he is just putting on a show, MC 100% doesn't see it that way.
Insert meme of: 'Get your dog!' 'He don't bite.' 'YES HE DOES!'
Valeria: Her parents are weary of outsiders like everyone else in the town, they have no issues being polite at first meeting but they warn Valeria not to be too trusting of strangers and exercise caution. Would ask her brothers to keep an eye on MC while they are around Valeria, they love their daughter dearly and think her too naive to be left alone with a stranger.
Aurelio: His father would be sickly at this point and likely bedridden but if Aurelio trusts MC enough to introduce them he would trust his son's opinion and welcome MC with open arms. Making jokes and inviting them to stay for dinner so he could get to know them better.
They start dating their kid:
Cassandra: If MC did not make a good enough impression on him yet, then he openly disapproves. Would see MC as unworthy and would try, in private, to talk is daughter out of it. At the end of the day he would respect her decision, but would be passive aggressive with MC until they win him over.
If MC got on his good side he would begrudgingly agree, MC still has to put in some work to win him over completely but Alejandro would actually try to get closer to MC and invite them on hangouts so he can try to get to know them better and see if they are really a good fit for his daughter.
Valeria: If MC passes the vibe check from her brothers and actually comes over to meet them, then they would be open minded. They would prefer Val be with someone in the village but would not be so close minded to absolutely reject someone who might be open to moving into the village one day. Might have some beef if MC talks about taking Val somewhere far away one day.
Aurelio: His father, who's name is also Aurelio, don't know if I've mentioned that before. Current Aurelio is the Jr, his father is Aurelio senior. But to be entirely honest... Aurelio Sr. knows his son and he would smile and congratulate the two but would honestly not take it seriously because he figures it wouldn't last. His son is the perfect copy of himself, he himself never fell in love again after his childhood love and mother of his son passed many years ago. He would spend majority of his son's development years surrounded by many different 'girlfriends' and being married to his work. He expects his son would be the same, if anything he pities MC for taking the relationship seriously.
They marry them:
Cassandra: If he likes MC he's pretty happy, if MC is a guy then he would see him as the son he never had and would ask him often to go and have father son nights with him. He would low key try to steal a good chunk of MC's time and would tell Cass to share him lol. If MC is a woman then he is happy to have another daughter (He would never call it a marriage though sadly, Alejandro is devout and would see the relationship more as a domestic partnership). In Castellio Gay marriages are not a thing, people can file for domestic partnerships and would publicly be seen as "best friends" even though most people know what it really means. He would never be rude to MC or his daughter about it though, he is happy that you both are happy and would just tell himself it's a very close friendship (read: is in denial and is okay with that). He would refer to MC as his other or adopted daughter when people ask who is MC to Cassandra, and would shut down any hate being thrown towards his daughters. He would also invite MC out with him and Cass to go out on fun trips and activities together.
If he hates MC? Rolls his eyes so much they might fall out of his head, highly disapproves of the union but will accept whatever makes his daughter happy. Expect many sarcastic comments 24/7.
Valeria: Very happy that their little girl is getting married and hopes that MC is forever blind to just how crazy this family is, tries to rush the marriage so MC can't change their mind lol. They would welcome MC as one of their own and would expect them to move into their house or build their own in the village. The only huge beef they would have is again, if MC suggests taking Val away to Sanctuario or something. That would bring a huge issue and their would need to be peace talks.
Aurelio: He would not believe it at first, his son? MARRIED? What manner of witchcraft is at work here? He would be convinced his son is either under a spell or is being blackmailed, after confirming his son is being serious he would honestly still be in disbelief for a while. Once it all sinks in, he would cry tears of joy. He never thought his son could find someone who would accept all of him with all his flaws and still want to stick around. He is so happy his son has finally found his person and is so happy he got to be alive long enough to see it... even though in reality that sadly never got to be. 😭
#omwat#ask#ludovica#elio#tomas#aurelio#cassandra#valeria#interactive fiction#if#interact if#if game#interactive game#interactive games#work in progress
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woah ok ive been seeing an insane amount of hate for side order so yknow what fuck you. this blog is a safe space i love octo expansion and i also love side order im having a very good time with this game. set urself free, release expectations, embrace fun
#text#splatoon#side order#JUST IN CASE anybody decides to be Like That:#im not saying u cant criticise it or whatever. im just sick of ppl hating bc they were expecting oe 2#and like most splatoon fans just dont play any other videogame ever so they hate roguelites lmao#its a completely different style of game. that is the point.#if ur angry i think u should take a seat and just watch marina lezzing out over pearl. feel some joy#AND DEDF1SH CANONICALLY USES THEY!! WHY ARENT WE MORE EXCITED ABOUT THIS#(also maybe im built different but this dlc really isnt that hard. i find it very fun)#ur not superior for disliking side order. get off ur fuckin high horse#ppl are allowed to enjoy things actually
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do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up
i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.
she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.
never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-
i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:
okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.
the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page
she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later
so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions
"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"
"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"
Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.
I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.
On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.
Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.
And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.
Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.
Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it
and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks
And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.
(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)
The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.
And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)
I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.
and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured
In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.
(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)
#asks#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#marcille donato#manga panel analysis#this is probably riddled with typos sorry#readmore cut bc it got long lmao#i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me#bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling.#the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her#the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc.#otherwise it just..#literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all#the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level#she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are#she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments#its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up#but who doesn't yknow#i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there#the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards#it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around#she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people#i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but#dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right.#a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all#that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment#the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are#always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home#and dungeon meshi gets that.#edit: cleaned it up a little
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i want to have these guys wear clothes- but mike here isn't even the type to wear shorts longer than mid thigh lmao
#tmnt#tmnt au#i let ahs look at the setting and the next thing i knew there was a mountain of world building#not that i'm complaining. but i really should have expected that lmao#fun tidbit of that world building!#while all the boy are different turtles and were mutated at different times- they're all still full brothers#mike here was quite literally born mutated#magma.jpg
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P:WotR Portraits: Wenduag & Daeran
I did the one for Wenduag back when I was testing her legs, but today I got the idea to recreate Daeran's portrait image. I think it turned out really well, even if the colors aren't quite right and the pose is a bit awkward.
[reference pics and alternate crop of Daeran's portrait under the cut]
#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 fantasy#sims 4 fantasy#fandom sims#p:wotr#pwotr#pathfinder wrath of the righteous#wenduag#wenduag pwotr#pwotr wenduag#daeran arendae#daeran pwotr#pwotr daeran#wenduag's pose is much better bc I didn't make it lmao.#I need to give wenduag different (short) hair though.#and unfortunately I wasn't able to make hers be underground without either building some kind of cave room or going to the hidden lot.#which takes a lot of effort or several cheats so I just didn't bother. Especially since even then it doesn't match what I had in mind.#I am really happy with how Daeran's turned out though. The ''set'' turned out better than I expected and relight made the lighting better.#I made his pose too. It's not very good but it's decent enough for a quick screenshot.#these aren't edited at all aside from cropping and running my usual smoothing and sharpening actions.#but I still like how they turned out.#I'm typing this at 2am but the post is gonna go up at 2am.#hopefully I actually get to play pathfinder tomorrow/later today...#I did have a TON of fun just hanging out with my dnd group tonight though so I'm not mad at all. We all needed a break lmao.#a bunch of shitty days/weeks all around.#(izzy scout if you see this... 💖💖💖💖💖💖)
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#i personally feel like it's somewhere in between#like sexuality and gender i think it's where you decide to choose what label your experiences/feelings fall under#it's decided between the two people in the relationship#like intimacy can exist in every kind of relationship and it's upsetting to hear people say it can only happen in romantic ones#if i were in a relationship with someone i trusted Who had an intimate relationship with someone else#if i really trusted that person i'd have no problem with it Unless it very clearly started to affect our relationship#i don't think i'd call myself a very jealous person#maybe a little envious but not jealous lol#i think restricting intimacy to one person isn't very. healthy? i don't know#like there should be other people too. support networks#we're a social animal yknow ?#it can't be possible for one person to fulfill every single need#that's an unhealthy expectation that can put a strain on many relationships i think#there's a reason spider webs are made from joined threads of silk#they don't dangle from a single piece They'd get blown away in the wind#reason why i bring this up now is bc i just discussed this with my parents who hold very traditional views#idk how i ended up being so different from them LMAO#thanks steven universe i guess!!!
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I keep forgetting all the Azulon art I have and never show, so I tried to recollect all the drawings I could find. Also I think Azulon’s fire was blue as well, move on.
Also using this post to tell a bit of my hc that Azulon created the lightning bending for the reason that he uses the same poses and movements that Sozin uses to re-direct heat; my hc is that he learns that from Sozin (thinking that Sozin teach him phew things since he was the prodigy). Other hc that goes along is that Iroh learns that from him and the re-direction base on his father’s teaching and water tribe people.
Also the fact that no one talks about his general years and how he was consider one the “greatest firebender in the world” by his time. Great reflexes, general Azulon.👌
And random doodle I found of the dragon au 🧍♂️
Father and son quality time is trying to erase an entire race.
#oof long post#but there you go globin simps❤️#i really never expect people like my Azulon drawings so much LMAO#but Azulon is such a character I wish to know more#anyways done of talking#probably gonna show an animatic of the dragon au with different drawings as well#azulon
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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I did a costest of Mairon today (and an impromptu Almaren-era look, because why not) -- he's ready for con! I'm really happy with how he looks and too excited to wait to share photos until I'm done editing, so have some unedited shots plus two quick memes & the last thing you see when you dare imply Melkor might have not done nothing wrong XD
Inspiration for the memes came from this amazing poll by @kanafinwe-makalaure.
Edit: Ahaha okay this got A LOT more attention than I anticipated, for being just some test shots and silliness ^^; I usually don't include costume credits in costest photo dump posts, only on finished photos, but now I feel like I need to include them here too, so here you go: Wig: Arda Wigs (Grace, in "Fire Orange") Contacts: Uniqso (Sweety Crazy Red Demon Eye) Ears: Aradani Costumes (Sun Elf Ears) Circlet: PernCirclets (on Etsy) Gorget: Crystalsidyll (on Etsy) Gauntlets: Jadekei (on Etsy) Leather armor: LederFantasies (on Etsy) Fangs: Scarecrow (Small Deluxe Fangs) Gloves, dress base, and finger armor are mass-produced/store-bought; shirt is my own. I'm honestly shocked at the reception and everyone's really kind and supportive words! ♡♡♡
#mairon#sauron#cosplay#silmarillion#tolkien#i did different makeup for almaren mairon (gold/light orange) and first age mairon (red + bright orange)#but i don't think you can really tell ^^;#i wish my apartment had better lighting and a good spot for a full length mirror but alas T_T#i work with what i have#i should also probably invest in an actual camera at this point...#he's just as perfectly uncomfortable to wear as i expected lmao#but i can't wait to take him out in public all the same ♡#silm#hira cosplays mairon
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does anyone know where i might find a post about how post-apocalyptic scavenging stories, specifically noting the last of us and the walking dead, are fundamentally reflective of a fear of homelessness. i know i saw one when the tlou series was first releasing but i cannot for the life of me think of where to find it
#talkyllama#the last of us#the walking dead#tlou#tlou hbo#it's for school jsdfhj we're analyzing emplacement and positionality wrt imagination of the future#and reading octavia butler's parable of the sower which i think gives a really interestingly different point of view from other such storie#where society collapses entirely#because stores still function and you still have to spend money to buy things there. in that dystopia. which is not the case in these other#other stories#which is why i think parable of the sower may have a more compelling and more realistic depiction of homelessness as an issue of enduring a#an apocalypse. cus what do you do when it's just YOUR society that has collapsed? and the rest of civilization (ie grocery stores etc) are#still functioning and still expecting you to function as if the social contract still stands#so. if anyone could point me toward this post im thinking of thatd be gorgeous lmao
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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my school president + character fashion | episode one (our skyy 2) ↳ gun’s long-sleeve polo
“Hold me tight. Fast engine, you know.”
#my school president#my school president the series#asianlgbtqdramas#guntaphon wongwitthaya#fourth nattawat#mspfashion#mygifs#i know it's mostly the longer hair and different clothes but#fourth really does look noticeably older in os compared to msp#but i guess that's to be expected since he's still a teenager lmao
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hey folks did you know i love super dangan ronpa 2
#marzi speaks#thinking abt the themes in that story#ESPECIALLY the letting other people’s perceptions dictate who you are vs choosing who you are for yourself and not letting anyone stop you#like almost every single one of the sdr2 cast has a front they put on/identity they’re ‘supposed’ to be vs who they truly are#komaeda’s i could write an essay on so we’re gonna skip him bc. energy#hajime’s is obvious. i don’t need to explain that one. though he tries really hard to come off as more masculine as well which. augh#speaking of masculine souda is a victim of toxic masculinity. he was bullied and had a dad who sucked so he changed himself to look fiercer#ibuki left her band due to ‘creative differences’- she didn’t fit into that classic pop band mold and she allowed herself to deviate#mahiru puts extra pressure on men around her bc Her Dad Also Sucked and she’s sick of having to deal with weaponized incompetence#gundham is this sweet kind kind boy who hides it all underneath a veil of darkness. the darkness is not a lie either though he is both#sonia. literally a princess. has huge shoes to fill. in reality she’s a horror fiend who just wants to nerd out abt true crime#nekomaru’s heart condition would have taken him out of sports forever but he found another way and started team managing instead#fuyuhiko is set up to be the next head of the kuzuryu clan but on the inside he is so compassionate (and canonically a prude lmao)#peko is literally raised as a tool and tries to embrace this role even though the one she works for just wants her to be herself#i haven’t seen hiyoko’s ftes but i imagine she’d be far less cruel if she didn’t have to deal with constant infantilization and perverts#twogami just. as a whole. the whole character. yeah#there’s for sure more but i haven’t seen everyone’s ftes so. yanno#like fuck !!!!!! people will always have a perception of what they think you should be but you cannot truly be happy#until you allow yourself to disregard those expectations and forge your own path instead !!!! fuck !!!!!
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