#/ i really expected these to be different lmao
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urinarythreatinfection · 2 days ago
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Alright since you want requests, how about good ol Sanji figuring out that he likes a guy? Lmao.
Poor Sangni. You know for all the shit people (me too) give him, he kinda turned out really good compared to all the things he went through. Also I ❤️ comments on my fics.
Confusion in My Love
Sanji x male reader. fluff. tw for for internalized homophobia. Contains a medium fishman island spoiler. 1375 words.
It’s known that Sanji has an innate preference towards women, and an innate hate towards men. It’s a fact of life the same way the sky is blue, or it was until you. He acts differently around you, a man. Not how he treats Luffy or Zoro, no, there’s something else. Something that makes him weak towards you, something that makes it so when you make a mistake he doesn’t feel like getting angry or mocking you. Something that’s making him feel different.
“Sanji!” His heart skips a beat when he hears your voice while giving Nami and Robin their beverages. “Can I get one too?” You ask with a smile. Everyone expects him to say no, right about now he’d be too “busy” fawning over the women, after all. Schedule full. However…
“Alright.” …he agrees. Like it was instinct, before he could even realize what he was agreeing to. It causes everyone to go silent except for Luffy, who hadn’t realized what was weird until Usopp whispered it in his ear. Sanji knows it’s weird too, but he’d already said yes to you, and he just can’t bring himself to change his mind. So he retreats instead. To the kitchen, his oasis, to make your drink. Once he’s inside he crouches down and puts his head in his hands. “Why did I say that!?” He yells at himself. This stupid something has only been getting worse. Not being as angry at you to not wanting to get angry at you to complimenting you. Now he’s even making a midday beverage for you like he would with a lady! “Why am I doing this!?” He stands up and starts to make the drink, keeping himself busy will surely help him stop thinking about it, but it fails. It’s only when he’s poured the finished product inside the glass that he spots his reflection, his face with flushed cheeks. He touches them as his heart beats faster, is he sick? That has to be it there’s now way, right? Nonono he loves women he’s a woman lover, men are disgusting creatures that he would never develop romantic love for! However the more he thinks about it the more everything he feared and denied is coming together, making his repressed emotions crash down on him.
“Hey, Sanji?” You walk into the kitchen and find him with his elbows on the counter, head in his hands. “Damn if you really didn’t want to make me the drink you don’t have to force yoursel-” You notice tears dripping on the marble “-are you crying!?” When he spots you they flow from his eyes harder.
“hic..unng…” He puts his face back into his hands, sobbing as his emotions overwhelm him, stronger from all the years of internalized homophobia from misinformation. If he’s gay does that mean he has to crossdress all the time now? He likes his suit though… now he just made himself cry more. He feels like a stupid little kid again. You go up to him, confused but rubbing his back as he lets everything out and tries to imagine all the things he’s going to end up doing now that he’s gay. Cooking with long nails, fighting with dresses, having to do makeup every morning, saying kya…
“Sanji what’s up with you, man? Did having to make a free drink for a guy make you this heartbroken?” Crazy conclusion but he’s almost died from a nosebleed so it isn’t that out of the question.
“I’m gay…” He sniffles. “What do I do?”
“Huh??” You look at him with a confused expression. “You’re crying because you’re gay? Sanji it’s not something to be ashamed of, Luffy isn’t going to kick you off the ship. I’m not even sure he knows or even cares what that means.”
“Maybe, but how am I going to cook with long nails?” He looks at his hands in despair. “And is he going to accept me if I wear dresses and makeup?”
“Do you… want to wear dresses and makeup?” The blonde wipes his eyes when you question him.
“..maybe.” Sanji mumbles then quickly yells after. “I don’t know!”
“I feel like you have a misconception on what being gay is. I don’t know what you’re thinking but you don’t have to do anything to be gay besides being attracted to the same sex.”
“But the ladies…” He still wants to like women, he doesn’t know what that means.
“Sanji there are other options besides gay or straight, you can like both men and women, and you don’t have to do whatever you’re thinking if you don’t want to. You’d be a beautiful crossdresser or non-crossdresser. In fact, you don’t even need to be a crossdresser to wear makeup. I don’t- I- How did you even come to this conclusion.”
“In Kambakka.” He states, that makes sense.
“Oh.” You scratch the back of your neck. “Well I don't think them being gay is the reason they’re that way. Did they not tell you this?” He shakes his head. “Yeah well I guess they wouldn’t have expected for you to be this-” ‘ignorant’ “-uh.. mal-informed. Anyway I mean what I say. You’re still you and you get to be you. How did you end up figuring out you liked men anyway?
“Ugh…” He feels stupid now, getting emotional over nothing as he wipes his eyes. “It’s because I like y-” Sanji stops, immediately sobering up once he realizes his mistake. “yyyyoung men my age.”
“Oh? Did you see someone you liked at the last island?” You’re starting to get curious and his face goes red again as he sputters, blue eyes swimming around for an escape when he remembers the drink he made you. He grabs it and quickly gives it to you.
“Here! I finished it not too long ago, drink it while it’s still fresh.” You grab onto it, accepting he doesn’t want to talk. This must be a vulnerable moment for him.
“Well, okay. Just know whatever you end up being, I still care about you, kay?” You smile at him and he heats up more, his feelings stronger now that he realizes what they are.
“Me too, I.. care about you—too.” He’s struggling, jolting when you rub his back.
“We care about each other then, and thanks for the drink.” You walk out of the kitchen with a wink. Once you’re gone Sanji slowly sinks to his knees, sighing. His hand goes to his chest, feeling his beating heart.
“This…feels so weird..!” He rests his back on a shelf door, pupils into hearts as he gets dizzy. “Love love love..” That repeats in his head. He loves you, adores you, filled with nice feelings the moment you look his way. “
There’s a lot to think about now that he’s realized this but if this light, pleasant feeling he’s getting is because he loves you.. maybe a crush on a guy isn’t so bad.
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Bonus past memory from Kamabakka:
“GAHH GET AWAY FROM ME! I’M NOT GAY!!” Sanji screams while running from the Okamas. He’d been running the whole day now and eventually manages to lose them, that's what he thinks anyway. They’re actually just hiding to let him rest.
“He keeps calling us gay, we’re Okamas.” One of them says, an idea popping up. “You… don’t think he thinks all queer people are like us, right?”
“No way~” They all brush it off as another speaks up. “I mean it’s pretty obvious what the difference is, he’s gone traveling he’s must’ve met another queer person.”
“Right right.”
“I’m never going to be like them, I like women. I’m not an Okama.” They hear him say as he catches his breath, making them pause.
“Ah…” They nervously look at eachother
“Well.. he’s going to be here for two years. He should figure it out eventually, right?”
“Yeah, we’ll try and help him too! He’s precious after all.”
Unknown to them, he hadn’t figured it out. In fact, he was so terrified of them that even when they did try giving him pointers he kept blocking it out. But it’s alright, there’s no way he’d do something like think it’s mandatory for gay people to crossdress… probably.
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harrowing-of-hell · 2 days ago
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I was looking at chapter 53 of Harrow the Ninth for other reasons, but it reminded me of something else.
I've seen the theory that Harrow, since she no longer is capable of remembering Gideon, is projecting her feelings for Gideon onto the Body and she isn't really in love with the Body/Alecto. Often accompanying this theory is the idea that this is why the Body has yellow eyes now when previously Harrow saw them as being black like her own.
I don't think that's true for several reasons that I'll go into, but here's the TLDR:
1.) The narrative treats the memories that Harrow has of the Body very different from how it treats the memories she has of Gideon.
2.) There's a lot of evidence to suggest that the Body and the way the Body has changed over time has to do with the fact that Body is an aspect of Alecto's soul, as opposed to those changes resulting from the lobotomy and Harrow projecting suppressed memories and feelings for Gideon onto a "safe" subject.
To start with, Harrow's feelings for the Body is not the result of her suppressed memories of Gideon:
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This isn't the only time Harrow refers to the Body/Alecto as her "one true love" or something equally romantic. This, however, one of the times it's from Harrow's third person POV, completely absent of the influence from lobotomy. At this point in the book, she is fully herself again and remembers Gideon. I feel like the language is pretty clear cut so I won't expand upon this particular excerpt lmao.
The other reason I don't think that theory is true is because the lobotomy was very precise and indiscriminate about suppressing the memory of all things related to Gideon (even indiscriminately suppressing the existence of her name in every possible context).
Therefore, to make sense of things that otherwise wouldn't make sense without Gideon's presence, Harrow's mind is actively and clumsily trying to make sense of the events of the past (the Canaan House bubble). That, or it just conveniently skips over Gideon's involvement because she physically can't think about it too hard without her brain hemorrhaging:
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There's either a surprising lack of detail or just complete falsehoods provided about situations we'd expect Harrow to remember clearly. On the other hand, the memories of the Body and Harrow's affection for her are all in pretty explicit detail, such that it'd be weird for this affection to also have been a consequence of the lobotomy.
There's also this other detail that I had completely forgotten:
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So, Harrow hasn't even hallucinated the Body since she was just starting to enter adolescence. She would only see the Body when she was asleep (an interesting detail that has something in common with the Canaan House bubble in the River....).
There are also other changes that have occurred with the Body since Harrow last saw her:
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Harrowhark only physically saw the Body for some time after she opened the tomb, and then only saw her in dreams or what I can only assume was some River dream bubble akin to the Canaan House one. She also hasn't heard the Body speak since then.
Now, Harrow is hallucinating her again, she's speaking to her again, and for some reason she has a different eye color.
With all of this in mind, I really don't think anything going on with the Body in HtN is about Gideon at all. I think it's only a coincidence that the Body's physical reappearance lines up with the lobotomy.
Unlike the memories Harrow has of Gideon or memories that are direct cause of Gideon's actions, there's really nothing to clue us into the fact that these memories of the Body might also be altered/fabricated. And, given the first excerpt I referenced, we know for certain Harrow's affection for the Body/Alecto is real and not a result of the lobotomy. Even the yellow eyes that the Body now has doesn't have anything to do with Gideon.
However, there is another big change in Harrow's life beyond lyctorhood and the lobotomy; the fact that she and whatever aspect of Alecto's soul that's attached itself to her are now both in the presence of John, who has the other half of Alecto's soul.
It would make sense that the same behavior the Body had when Harrow was last in direct contact with Alecto's soul, the same behavior that stopped as she got further and further from that moment of contact, is re-emerging now that she's in direct contact again.
It would also make sense that, where Harrowhark could only impose an eye color on the Body based off of what she was familiar with herself, the Body would now instead appear with her own, true eye color.
I do have more evidence for the Body being a part of Alecto's soul rather than just a hallucination like all the others Harrow experiences, but that will have to wait for another post.
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1tsstargaze59 · 1 day ago
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OK, I know I said I wouldn't post but like I HYPERFIXED SO HARD THAT HM-
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ANXIFEAR FANKID?????
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Also some college au anxifear doodles below the cut hehe /TW for slightly suggestive content?? Ever so slightly XD
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So basically them ^^^^^ /hj
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I love them sm like I was just making a fankid for fun, I DIDNT EXPECT TO LOVE THEM THIS MUCH THO TWT💕💕💕
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She's 17, she plays Overwatch, her fav food is cosmic brownies, she's a spelling bee champion and future literature major (I've been thinking about them all weekend-)
Pls be nice to Panic guys, they're TEENAGE CODED‼️and definitely a minor in the college au OK?
Anyway, imma yap about them for a bit now, so you can leave if you're not interested XD
Panic's actual size is this, just a bit taller then his mom (ft.Me intruding on the concept art LMAO)
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Their design is based off mainly the little shocked expression sign, yk the 🗯, their hair I saw a design that had this hair style and I really loved it and it made me think of @/re-colligere's design for Professor Terror, aka spy AU Fear, how his prosthetic arm is shaped like a neuron! I thought that was very clever, so I was inspired by that ovob Lastly, we have the concept art for the second movie and the character of Rebellion! They have similar shape language and I knew I wanted to give Panic a different fashion style from her parents. It resulted in an inspiration from street wear and traffic signs, signaling how Panic is slightly~ well dangerous XD
Personality wise, Panic is very calm surprisingly! They talk sparingly, only when they want a specific idea conveyed to others; this usually results in them intruding on conversations with really unsettling statements ^^""" They hang out under headquarters with the other complex emotions, usually just entertaining themselves, reading, playing, napping; I suggest you not do anything to... brutal? Or loud around them, they are very sensitive and if ANYTHING triggers them, THEY CAN SPEND A REALLY LONG TIME JUST YELLING until someone manages to calm them down. ^^"" The comfort blanket is a gift from auntie Ennui, I'll draw them with the rest of the fam later ^^
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flingza-roller · 9 months ago
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woah ok ive been seeing an insane amount of hate for side order so yknow what fuck you. this blog is a safe space i love octo expansion and i also love side order im having a very good time with this game. set urself free, release expectations, embrace fun
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possamble · 7 months ago
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do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up
i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.
she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.
never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-
i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:
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okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.
the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page
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she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later
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so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions
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"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"
"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"
Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.
I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.
On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.
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Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.
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And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.
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Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.
Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it
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and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks
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And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.
(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)
The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.
And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)
I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.
and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured
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In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.
(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)
#asks#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#marcille donato#manga panel analysis#this is probably riddled with typos sorry#readmore cut bc it got long lmao#i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me#bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling.#the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her#the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc.#otherwise it just..#literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all#the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level#she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are#she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments#its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up#but who doesn't yknow#i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there#the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards#it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around#she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people#i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but#dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right.#a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all#that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment#the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are#always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home#and dungeon meshi gets that.#edit: cleaned it up a little
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volcanicsleep · 1 year ago
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i want to have these guys wear clothes- but mike here isn't even the type to wear shorts longer than mid thigh lmao
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squidslugs · 2 days ago
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okay thoughts from having played 1. exclusively the dragons (fuck them fairies) 2. only for like a few minutes each.
every dragon has two unique minigames each (to start with? theres a money collecting mechanic i dont know if that unlocks more things) and a bunch of cute little animations you can select from some of which being unique to each dragon. they all have kind of unique designs too which is cool instead of them just being appropriately recoloured for the element. they are mostly the same since its just a dragon base with a few unique elements on each one, but some of them are still really cool as ill show off later lmao. i was expecting less out of a game that was like, a mcdonalds toy in 2008.
its obviously a little designed for older computers, as some of the minigames take place in their own seperated box, which creates a fake "greyed out" effect on your desktop behind it - which is also super zoomed in, because its not designed for this aspect ratio. oops!
everything else runs pretty smoothly though.
OPINIONS ON EACH DRAGON NOW!!!
ice dragon: unfortunately he is the worst one minigame wise. im sorry ice dragon i love you really. his minigames are a memory game and a little sidescroller where you just kind of destroy random walls in a cave to get coins. not bad but once you get to the other 3 you realize poor ice dragon got the short end of the stick
design wise actually fire and ice are kind of just recolours of eachother with slightly different spike placement. earth and wind are the more unique designs trust me
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fire dragon: THE BEST ONE. it was definitely that one i had as a kid and i was sooo beautiful and true for it. his minigames are a similar sidescroller to ice but you're destroying a big ass castle instead and we ALL KNOW the coolest games in the universe are when you get to play as a dragon and KILL EVERYONE. and the first of the dragons to show off why its on your desktop, since its other minigame is a little shoot the targets thing where it actually takes place on your desktop instead of in its own seperated box! the little fire dragon sits on its platform and fires at the targets from there! unfortunately ice is also the only one without a game like this, which is SO SAD. justice for mcdonalds ice dragon.
design wise exactly what i said before, since ice and fire are bordering on identical, but this guy has a lot more to offer in the games department so they unfortunately edge out the competition here
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earth dragon: VERY fun. second best minigames wise, has a top-down endless runner type where you have to fly between platforms and defeat bug enemies and destroy rocks with a weird ground stomp you have. i found its mechanics kind of confusing but it was fun. and its other game (which takes place over the desktop like the fire one) has you summoning rocks to hit baseball style with their club tail, and scores you based on the accuracy of your hits. VERY cool.
this guy is definitely a bigger hitter in terms of design - still samey thanks too all the dragons being on that same base, but i think their tail (which i admittedly didnt get much of here) and extra webbing and stuff in their design is a way better hook than the previous two
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wind dragon: this guy is like, the best design, but objectively loses a lot in the minigame department. their main game is another topdown one that has you flying around destroying clouds for... random coloured balls??? idk. it was really strange to control and it didnt super communicate its mechanics very well (its the only one that gives you free range of motion and a very limited breath meter). the on the desktop minigame here was equally as fun as the others though, where you get a bunch of bones thrown in the air and you have to click to make the dragon pounce on them.
the REALLY weird thing about wind dragon though? is their sound design. every dragon makes dragonlike growls... except this one. wind dragon makes like. human sounds. they laugh during the bone catching game and make WEIRD humanlike groans when hit during the flying one. its so weird. why'd they do that
designwise the best though. the bright blue and silver colours are awesome and the curled horns, beard and feathered wings are like. overload of unique traits on one guy in this game. i kinda wish they gave something to poor ice and fire because this design just RIPS by hogging all the unique traits. it slaps though so no complaining really. just take out the weird human sounds and we'll be good, wind dragon.
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so uhh. review? of mcdonalds dragons? not really. i havent exactly played it super comprehensively. i do like the funny dragons though. gonna have to keep a copy of my desktop background saved for a little while
remembered a little childhood game of mine i remember being obsessed with and its on the internet archive. god bless im downloading that shit NOW
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morrigan-sims · 3 days ago
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P:WotR Portraits: Wenduag & Daeran
I did the one for Wenduag back when I was testing her legs, but today I got the idea to recreate Daeran's portrait image. I think it turned out really well, even if the colors aren't quite right and the pose is a bit awkward.
[reference pics and alternate crop of Daeran's portrait under the cut]
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eebie · 8 months ago
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trashfactorysstuff · 1 year ago
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I keep forgetting all the Azulon art I have and never show, so I tried to recollect all the drawings I could find. Also I think Azulon’s fire was blue as well, move on.
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Also using this post to tell a bit of my hc that Azulon created the lightning bending for the reason that he uses the same poses and movements that Sozin uses to re-direct heat; my hc is that he learns that from Sozin (thinking that Sozin teach him phew things since he was the prodigy). Other hc that goes along is that Iroh learns that from him and the re-direction base on his father’s teaching and water tribe people.
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Also the fact that no one talks about his general years and how he was consider one the “greatest firebender in the world” by his time. Great reflexes, general Azulon.👌
And random doodle I found of the dragon au 🧍‍♂️
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Father and son quality time is trying to erase an entire race.
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cosmic-hypnotic · 23 hours ago
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something like forgiveness
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dazais-guardian-angel · 7 months ago
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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hirazuki · 2 years ago
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I did a costest of Mairon today (and an impromptu Almaren-era look, because why not) -- he's ready for con! I'm really happy with how he looks and too excited to wait to share photos until I'm done editing, so have some unedited shots plus two quick memes & the last thing you see when you dare imply Melkor might have not done nothing wrong XD
Inspiration for the memes came from this amazing poll by @kanafinwe-makalaure.
Edit: Ahaha okay this got A LOT more attention than I anticipated, for being just some test shots and silliness ^^; I usually don't include costume credits in costest photo dump posts, only on finished photos, but now I feel like I need to include them here too, so here you go: Wig: Arda Wigs (Grace, in "Fire Orange") Contacts: Uniqso (Sweety Crazy Red Demon Eye) Ears: Aradani Costumes (Sun Elf Ears) Circlet: PernCirclets (on Etsy) Gorget: Crystalsidyll (on Etsy) Gauntlets: Jadekei (on Etsy) Leather armor: LederFantasies (on Etsy) Fangs: Scarecrow (Small Deluxe Fangs) Gloves, dress base, and finger armor are mass-produced/store-bought; shirt is my own. I'm honestly shocked at the reception and everyone's really kind and supportive words! ♡♡♡
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lenjaminmacbuttons · 5 months ago
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does anyone know where i might find a post about how post-apocalyptic scavenging stories, specifically noting the last of us and the walking dead, are fundamentally reflective of a fear of homelessness. i know i saw one when the tlou series was first releasing but i cannot for the life of me think of where to find it
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batfossil-fr · 6 months ago
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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bevioletskies · 1 year ago
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my school president + character fashion | episode one (our skyy 2) ↳ gun’s long-sleeve polo
“Hold me tight. Fast engine, you know.”
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