#"Post traumatic stress disorder symptoms"

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

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[traumatizedjaguar]

[yupuffin]

Alhaitham and Neuvillette: Of Gentle Giants and Stoic Softies

⚠️Spoilers for Sumeru archon quests, as well as Fontaine archon quests acts 1 and 2 ahead. Read at your own discretion.

As a fan of Alhaitham since his initial appearance in the game (you may remember me from my "Alhaitham Propaganda" posts), I've found player reactions (as well as my own) to Neuvillette amusing to observe. Many aspects of their fan reception have been almost identical, owing to their strikingly similar mannerisms--both stoic, mysterious, and conventionally attractive, falling firmly under the "tall, dark, and handsome" archetype.

It's true that Alhaitham and Neuvillette are similar characters, both superficially and deeper down. However, they do exhibit some key differences in personality; in addition to resulting in subtle but distinct discrepancies of player opinion of these two characters, I believe this comparison makes it particularly intriguing to anticipate Neuvillette's further character development as the Fontaine lore expands and the story continues.

Alhaitham and Neuvillette both exhibit a blunted affect (also called flat affect), essentially meaning that they are not very expressive--at least, according to typical social expectations. However, this does not necessarily indicate that they don't feel emotions at all; in fact, it's possible to perceive and interpret their emotional cues, such as changes in facial expression or vocal tone, with relative ease, so long as they are not held to said social norms.

In real life, flat affect can either be simply a matter of personality, or a symptom of neurodivergent conditions such as autism, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or schizoid personality disorder (SzPD). People with blunted or flat affects are often misinterpreted as callous, hostile, or untrustworthy, or even completely emotionless, simply because their individual modes of expression do not match widely held social expectations.

This was certainly the case with Alhaitham, who, after a brief but impactful appearance in one act of the Sumeru archon quests, was almost invariably regarded by fans as highly suspicious, and commonly called a "walking red flag."

Moreover, several other characters' quotes about Alhaitham suggest that they think he is coldly rational and, according to Kaveh's opinion, has no feelings at all. While Alhaitham's extended collaboration with the Traveler ultimately proved that he was indeed a reliable ally, most other characters continue to regard him as entirely unapproachable.

Within canon, Neuvillette is also accused of being cold and apathetic. When Navia and the Traveler visit Neuvillette in his office to request records of a potential person of interest in the case regarding her late father, and come up empty-handed, Neuvillette verbally offers his sympathy; however, Navia, seized by grief, raises her voice against him for being dishonest and heartless. When Navia and company leave the palace, it is raining, indicating that Neuvillette--who is heavily implied to be the legendary Hydro Dragon by this point--was, in fact, genuinely moved to tears.

In contrast, though, beyond canon, cursory observation suggests that Neuvillette's reception by players has been largely positive, with fans readily describing him as "kind" and "sweet" despite his flat demeanor. The suspicion with which Alhaitham was met due to said demeanor appears all but absent.

Evidently, finding a potential reason for this difference requires delving deeper into their emotional patterns.

Indeed, in addition to being stoic, both Alhaitham and Neuvillette demonstrate sensitivity and openness to others' perspectives, integrity, and emotional experiences, which should accurately lend them both to the description of "sweet" or "compassionate." The Traveler's early interactions with them bear striking similarities: in the case of the Sumeru story, Alhaitham explicitly gives the Traveler the option to refuse to collaborate with him--which, historically, is highly unusual among suspiciously wealthy characters seeking a deal with the Traveler--and in Fontaine, Neuvillette's first conversation with the Traveler involve him apologizing for making the silence between them so awkward and offering to partake in conversation as a remedy.

What sets these two characters apart is their understanding of other peoples' emotional and rational processes--in Neuvillette's case, a lack thereof.

Alhaitham exhibits, through his words and actions in the Sumeru archon quests, at multiple points, a deep understanding of human emotions and thought patterns as phenomena that are at once predictable and volatile. He utilizes this understanding to forge trusting connections with strangers and to anticipate reactions of Akademiya personnel in order to infiltrate the House of Daena and overthrow the Grand Sage.

On the other hand, Neuvillette seems to lack a complete understanding of human emotional tendencies; whether this is due to a strongly held past misconception or simply naivete is still unclear. While Neuvillette is highly sensitive to other people's feelings in the moment once he becomes aware of them, he, unlike Alhaitham, acknowledges a personal failures to understand human thought processes and feelings in general, which forms the crux of his development as a character in the first two acts of the Fontaine archon quests as the true details of the Callas case come to light.

This is one aspect of Neuvillette's character that I believe contributes to his difference in fan reception from Alhaitham: inexperience and naivete are typically considered endearing traits, and, when paired with his blunted affect and seemingly permanent scowl, lend themselves to a sort of "gap moe"--perceived allure or "cuteness" stemming from a discrepancy in expectations of how a character should act based on their appearance, compared with how they actually behave.

Additionally, Neuvillette, despite his blunted affect, whether by virtue of profession or personality (likely both), appears to care a good deal about what others think of him, as suggested by his willingness to (attempt to) befriend, comfort, and reconcile with the Traveler and Navia.

As a result, Neuvillette's flat affect seems more superficially acceptable than in the case of Alhaitham, who vocally does not care at all about others' perceptions of him; Alhaitham's strong sense of self-preservation and self-assurance causes him to appear invulnerable, if not threatening, both within and beyond canon. He simply makes no attempt whatsoever to appear polite solely to appeal to social expectations. However, this is not due to a lack of kindness or compassion, as he, while highly logical and rational, by no means believes he is infallible, and readily apologizes to the Traveler upon recognizing that his actions were potentially harmful to them.

Still, the misperception of Alhaitham as a suspicious person is pervasive enough that other characters and fans alike hesitate to acknowledge him as an approachable and trustworthy person (a fact he canonically uses to his advantage to avoid "unnecessary social endeavors" and lead a peaceful life in which he largely keeps to himself).

Neuvillette might enjoy a similar luxury; his flat affect and intimidating demeanor are indeed practical in a court setting, where they amplify his authoritative presence. Like with Alhaitham, it only takes putting aside typical social expectations and getting to know him on a more individual level to understand that he is not as callous or hostile as he appears. Though the Fontaine story has yet to reveal whether this leads other characters to leave him alone in more mundane social settings, fan opinion of him certainly indicates that players have picked up on his compassionate tendencies due to quirks in his behavior, which was not more generally the case for Alhaitham, at least not until the Sumeru story had progressed much further.

Given that flat affect should itself be, ideally, not considered a character flaw, and therefore should not be "cured," I'm intrigued to see where Neuvillette's character development goes as his character story, as well as that of Fontaine at large, continues to unfold. For example, Alhaitham grew visibly more comfortable with the Traveler's presence over the course of the story, expressing more personal and emotional vulnerability and even allowing the Traveler to enter his house. I'm curious to see whether Neuvillette will follow similar tendencies.

(I'm willing to bet that he will, given that Genshin Impact is a gacha game and characters are deliberately designed to have their own personal charms to make them appealing, but I can't claim to be able to predict exactly what will happen regardless.)

[eretzyisrael]

A 22-year-old woman who survived the Hamas massacre at the Supernova music festival near Kibbutz Re’im on October 7, 2023, has taken her own life in her apartment, after suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

The family of Shirel Golan, who turned 22 today, says she suffered from post-traumatic symptoms since escaping the terror onslaught, including disassociation and withdrawal, and that she was hospitalized twice.

Her brother Eyal was quoted by Hebrew media as saying, “I saw that she had symptoms of post-traumatic stress, such as withdrawing and distancing herself from her friends. I asked her to take care of herself. She said that she doesn’t get any help from the state. She said that she only gets aid from the [Tribe of Nova Community Association].”

“If the state had taken care of her, none of this would have happened,” he says.

Israel Hayom and Ynet news both publish a denial from the Welfare and Social Services Ministry of the family’s claims, saying Golan was “recognized and treated in the welfare system even before October 7 and especially after.”

[kira-fluff]

haikyuu!! neurodivergent headcanons 💕

tw: several listed mental illnesses, some of these are solely off of vibes but most of them I have reasons lol note! I do not believe autism is a mental illness or something that is "wrong" with an individual, hence why the title is "neurodivergent" rather than "mental illness". just had to put that out there! to all my neurodivergent babies I love you! a/n: hello! as a neurodivergent like myself (depression, anxiety, ptsd, bulimia, etc etc) i thought it would be really cool to do an analysis on one of my biggest hobbies (psychological illnesses) and relate them to haikyuu characters! some of them have a deeper explanation because I feel so strongly about it.

attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) BOKUTO, hinata, NISHINOYA, atsumu, lev

generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) sugawara, OIKAWA, asahi, yamaguchi, yachi, aone, akaashi, tendo

social anxiety disorder (SAD) asahi, KENMA

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) oikawa

depression (MDD) oikawa, KENMA, kuroo, suna, matsukawa, tendo

autism sakusa, USHIJIMA, kageyama, kyotani, kenma

eating disorder(s) (AND, BND, BED) OIKAWA, KENMA

obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) oikawa

borderline personality disorder (BPD) daishou

insomnia kuroo, kenma, osamu

hypersomnia suna

analysis under the cut

it's pretty obvious that bokuto struggles the most to self-regulate, even to others, but I personally believe that oikawa struggles the most with his mental health.

like almost everyone in haikyuu, oikawa is obsessed with volleyball, but he takes it to a point of overexertion and taking his anger and frustration at his own inadequacies out on others.

I really think oikawa's relationship between he and kageyama and he and ushijima are the ones that show how bad his anxiety is

ushijima and kageyama both don't understand the emotions oikawa is feeling which could be written off as them not understanding their talents, but I think it's something more

to me, I feel it is blatantly obvious that ushijima is autistic. he just so frequently seems to be unable to read the emotions of others or takes things literally when it's something else intended. I'm not autistic, though, so autistic community, let me know your thoughts!

bokuto and hinata both have an insane amount of energy, but struggle to be successful in school. sports works for both of them because their focus is constantly needed to be diverted or "all over the place" that it helps them be great players

kuroo is one of those other characters that I feel like I'm reaching to say he has mental health struggles but to me it just comes off in vibes. first of all, any kid with divorced parents should be in therapy so I feel there's definitely some struggles there.

I think kuroo is the type that hides his struggles and pretends they aren't happening. he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the best at everything he does, and so he feels he doesn't have time to deal with the emotions that leave him feeling empty

kenma was someone I immediately felt was autistic. he has so many key factors like an obsession/hyperfocus on his hobbies and trouble socializing (social anxiety).

kenma has some of the strongest evidence toward my beliefs, specifically in this quote: "I'm not good with people, and I don't want to interact with them. and yet, I'm very concerned about what others think of me." like, tell me that doesn't radiate autistic/SAD vibes!!!!

idk what it is, like inadequacies or what but I genuinely believe oikawa has some kind of trauma. like he's definitely carrying something that so heavily effected him that it controls the choices he makes in life

I don't have much evidence that suna has depression, it's just a vibe because of his mannerisms and what he says. I think it's the kind where it's well-managed, but it shows up in physical symptoms like apathy more than anything.

atsumu gives ADHD vibes solely because of like how all over the place he is and how he can't always seem to properly get out what he's trying to say lol

sakusa is one that to me could be seen as "done with your bullshit" but I think he also hates crowds (like me, I mean who doesn't) and struggles socially probably because of anxiety or autism. not sure!

basing daishou off of vibes, too, because if I'm being honest all I've seen in the show is him having hostile relationships or being on-off with them, though its certain I could be reading too much into it, but that's the fun of headcanons.

do you agree with what I wrote? I would love to hear your thoughts!

[myfandomrambles]

C-PTSD & BPD Thirteenth Doctor pt. 2

(Doctor Character Study part 3E.2) E.1, E.3

An analysis of The Doctor as having Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) along with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). If you read my ADHD & Autistic doctor posts you will notice some symptoms overlap mostly with impulsivity. I chose to put C-PTSD and BPD as one post because symptom overlap is strong, and the disorders are highly comorbid

[Thirteenth Doctor will be in 3 parts due to length. Find the whole thing on AO3]

13th Doctor 2: Morals & her Trauma Informed Identity

Thirteen also shows a need to be seen as moral and a good person in situations including in TV: Resolution when facing the Dalek. She wants to be seen as a good person to her friends, letting them see her anxiety while also having previously hidden the fact she enjoyed scaring the Dalek. 

“Dalek: Hide behind your shield, Doctor, you and your human friends. You have failed. Doctor: Say hello to a Dalek. Dalek: Signal activation in nine rels. The fleet shall be summoned. Doctor: No, it won't. No matter how many times you try, no matter how long you wait, I'll always be in your way, backed up by the best of humanity. Now, final, final, final warning, cos I'm nice. I really do try my best. Stop the signal, get off this planet. Dalek: You are not my commander. Doctor: I tried. You heard me, right? I tried! I gave it a chance. Yasmin: Yeah. Ryan: Yep. Graham: You did.”

She wants to be viewed as good by those she loves and upholds part of her worldview where she matters as a hero. But also can not truly hold to the idealised version of ‘The Doctor’ We see this in TV: The Woman Who Fell To Earth, we see it in how she won’t shoot Tzim-Sha, becoming mad when Tzim-Sha is kicked off the edge, while she put DNA bombs. The idea of The Doctor is still removed from the personal status. A similar contradiction shows up in TV: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos 

“Doctor: Equipment. Doctor: I borrowed all this from your ship, Paltraki. These throat mics work like commdots. Side of the neck. Stay in contact. Take one each. Grenades. Codebreakers for doors. Also, a bomb. Ryan: What happened to never do weapons? Doctor: It's a flexible creed. Doors, locks, walls, buildings, fair game. If it can be rebuilt, I'll allow it. Ryan: No, no. You stopped me shooting at Sniperbots before. Doctor: You were new. I have to lay down the rules if someone's new. Also, don't quote that back to me. My rules change all the time.”

The Doctor is willing to use weapons while having been deeply against them, which is remarked on by Ryan because she told him off for using weapons in TV: The Ghost Monument. This hypocritical state isn’t incongruous with The Doctor’s history, not using guns is something she has built her sense of self around the idea of a pacifist hero with words is something she needs to grasp onto. Her willingness to wipe out her enemies wholesale she argues in TV: War of the Sontarans that they shouldn’t have killed the retreating Sontarans to then kill mass numbers of them along with Daleks and Cybermen in TV: The Vanquishers. In Prose: Combat Magicks she uses her experience with understanding war and alienation to choose to kill aliens who are exploiting Earth with minimal time spent trying to negotiate. Her complicated moral stances and actions reflect a lot of who they want to be but also who they are when it comes down to choosing to save the most people possible. 

Connections with her past in war had less of an impact on her to start with due to being more removed from war trauma. Both the Time War and Trenzalore are at a distance from her. Though we do know she does carry it with her in Prose: The Day of The Doctor [novelisation]. She does return to give Cass a proper burial. Her dislike of war showed through in the above discussion of speaking against weapons while still knowing how to use them also points to her current connection to violence,

War and her connection to it still have a strong effect on her identity. (TV: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos, TV: resolution, TV: Fugitive of The Judoon, TV: Ascension of The Cybermen, TV: War of the Sontarans, Prose: Combat Magicks, Prose: The Good Doctor, Comic: Hidden Human History, Comic: New Beginnings, Comic: Old friends & Comic: Alternating Current )

In TV: Demons of the Punjab we see an interesting connection related to the wars being discussed during the episode. Prem’s history with war and loss feels very impactful. The Doctor wants to go with him when he is going to be killed, offering kindness and something we know has helped them with previous losses. Her belief in the goodness of Prem for wanting to avoid war shows a great deal of resonance. 

The Thijarians' goal of remembering the forgotten dead also mirrors The Doctor’s own history of dying alone and the way The Doctor has a history of leaving forgotten dead behind her. Her own planet had been destroyed by war, The Doctor does believe Gallifrey exists at this point but it was still ravaged, so connecting to people who lost everything and committed to kindness resonates with her. 

Connected to her views on weapons and war as bases of her identity we also have her overt moralising to other characters in their actions. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: The Ghost Monument, TV: Demons of the Punjab, TV: Kerblam!, TV: Fugitive of The Judoon, Prose: Combat Magicks, Comic: Hidden Human History, Comic: Old friends)

In TV: Arachnids in The UK as a very prominent example of her moral ideals when faced with innocent spiders suffering and causing suffering. 

“Doctor: Whatever happened, there are living, breathing organisms out there and we treat them with dignity. So here's what we're going to do. Robertson: Shoot them! Doctor: We're not going to shoot them! Robertson: What's wrong with you people? What is wrong with this country? Why don't you do what normal people do? Get a gun, shoot things, like a civilised person. Doctor: Because I've got a much better idea. Spiders are roaming this hotel searching for food. We're going to lure them in here with the promise of food, then deal with the spider mother in the ballroom. Oh, that sounds like the best novel Edith Wharton never wrote. Najia: Once they're in here, what happens? Jade: We shut them in and isolate them. Robertson: You're going to let spiders use my panic room? Jade: They deserve a humane, natural death.” & “Jade: She's suffocating. She's got too big to breathe efficiently. Even moving around in here, it's using up what little oxygen she can absorb. She won't survive for long. She's more scared of us than we are of her. Doctor: I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Graham: So what do we do, just leave her? (Robertson enters.) Doctor: No. Absolutely not. Robertson: My hotel, my rules. I am the future President of the United States. How's this for fire and fury? Doctor: No, don't! (He shoots the spider and she falls on her back, nearly hitting The Doctor.) Doctor: Put the gun down. She wasn't a real threat. She was dying anyway. Robertson: Ah, well, then it's a mercy killing. Doctor: I don't see any mercy in you.”

This decision The Doctor wants to make for the smaller spiders to starve or dehydrate to death. She backs the idea of a “natural death” even when it could be kinder to shoot them. The Spider Mother is also going to suffocate to death, an extremely painful way to die. Robertson is clearly acting out of a love for violence and selfishness, not truly wanting to be merciful. But his impure motives do not change the fact that there is a conversation to be had about euthanizing them instead of giving them painful ‘natural’ deaths. The Doctor may be correct but it's still interesting there were no consideration given by any of the characters who are worth hearing out. 

We see another strong outward moralising moment in TV: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos. She argues with Graham about his wanting revenge by killing Tzim Sha. She is against, even telling him to leave, she is right to warn him against murder. Which makes sense as they have killed before and she’s never liked it in any regeneration. 

“Graham: Doc, can I have a word? Doctor: Of course. Graham: Just the two of us? Ryan: Fine. Come on, Yaz. Graham: I need to be honest with you, cos I am really grateful for everything you've done for me. Well, for us, you know? Everywhere we've been, all the adventures, been amazing. But if that is the creature from Sheffield, I will kill it if I can. For what it did to Grace. Doctor: Go back to the Tardis, Graham. Graham: No. Doctor: I won't let you do that. Graham: You ain't going to have a say in it. Doctor: You're better than this. You are. You have to be. If you kill him, I can't have you travel with me. That's if you even live. Graham: I understand. Doctor: No, you don't. We're going to rescue hostages. Anything that compromises them is dangerous. And if you kill him, you become the same as him. Graham: I ain't having that. Doctor: I'm serious, Graham. (She walks on.) Graham: And so am I.”

&

“Doctor: Where's Tim Shaw? Graham: Oh, he's taking a very long nap in a very small stasis chamber. Ryan: Of his own making. I like that. Graham: Yeah. Oh, I couldn't do it, Doc. Yeah, I had the chance. Too weak. Doctor: Graham O'Brien, you're the strongest person I know. Well, one of a few.”

The Doctor is trying to protect Graham and maintain her moral ground, something she is very devoted to. In this self view she supports putting Tzim-Sha in a tortuous situation is more moral than killing them, clearly showing how she interprets these moral quandaries. Another example of this is her monologuing  in TV: Orphan 55 :

“Doctor: ... I know what you're thinking, but it's one possible future. It's one timeline. You want me to tell you that Earth's going to be okay? Cos I can't. In your time, humanity is busy arguing over the washing-up while the house burns down. Unless people face facts and change, catastrophe is coming. But it's not decided. You know that. The future is not fixed. It depends on billions of decisions, and actions, and people stepping up. Humans. I think you forget how powerful you are. Lives change worlds. People can save planets, or wreck them. That's the choice. Be the best of humanity.”

This highlights that her moralising comes also from her years of experience, making it a clear connective tissue between Doctors and something that characterises this Doctor on her own terms. 

Another facet of Thirteen’s identity formation is her tendency to have a false self. A trait that comes from personality disorders, especially in Cluster B personality disorders; Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

This is most clearly referenced by King James in TV: The Witchfinders

“Doctor: Yeah, yeah, I know. It must be comforting playing that role, hiding behind a title. James: Just as you hide behind Doctor, perhaps?”

This is an important way she intersects with the world, especially in Series Eleven where she is putting on this mask of being happy-go-lucky. The above symptoms and some later described here show that she is already struggling but is doing her best to act like she is someone she isn’t. Her false self and masking make her interactions feel stilted and start the above-discussed film between her and her companions. 

The Doctor concept is bolstered when saving people and being gratified by helping, this heroic idea of what ‘The Doctor’ is meant to be is something The Doctor will hold on to. (TV: The Woman Who Fell to Earth, TV: Arachnids In The UK, TV: Kerblam!, TV: The Witchfinders, TV: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror, TV: Praxeus, TV: Can You Hear Me, TV: The Halloween Apocalypse, TV: Eve of The Daleks, Prose: Combat Magicks, Prose: Molten Heart, & Prose: The Secret in Vault 13)

TV: It Takes You Away shows her putting herself in the hero role doing her best to protect everyone and having a fight response towards the Solitract. Once everyone is safe she lets the arousal in her body go down and she connects with the Solitract. This shows her heroic tendencies and some of her most honest kindness.

  In TV: The Haunting Villa Diodati Along with coming into a space of control when dealing with the historical figures, especially Byron, and while this control is a huge part of her actions in the story we also see when she comes it she wants to protect other people, even when it leaves her  very stressed. This carries into TV: Ascension of The Cybermen & TV: The Timeless Children.

A key aspect of identity and the way her trauma shows through for Thirteen is the revelations of the Timeless Child and the way this reframes who they think they are and their history. 

The beginning of this arc with the destruction of Gallifrey (TV: Spyfall pt1) acts as a deeply re-traumatizing event. Dealing with being forced to view your planet in a state of destruction and the loss of her people for another time causes her to struggle and leaves her in a bit of an obsessive and dissociative state. During TV: Fugitive of The Judoon the repercussion of what she was forced to view others can see how she is fixating on the loss and the violence of The Master. Dissociative and repetitive behaviours become so disruptive that those around her notice:

“Ryan: She's doing it again. Spending hours at the controls looking for something. Thinks we haven't noticed. Graham: I'll ask her. Hey, Doc, what are you looking for? Doctor: How long have you been there? Yasmin: Twenty minutes? Doctor: You haven't. Ryan: What you looking for? Doctor: Not looking for anything. Yasmin: Don't lie to us. Doctor: The Master. Graham: Why would you do that? Yasmin: The Kasaavin took him. Doctor: Yes. They transported him to their dimension and I can't get there in the Tardis, but I thought if he escaped, I could track him. There's no sign. Ryan: I thought he'd be the last person you'd want to see. Doctor: He left a message for me. Graham: Saying what? Doctor: It's personal. Yasmin: Is that where you go, when you leave us to explore and you say you'll be back in an hour but you never are? Are you out looking for him? Where do you go? Doctor: Home. On my own. Yasmin: Why? Why not with us? Doctor: Cos you ask too many questions.”

In the same episode, there is a similar invocation of the trauma of having a place she cared about taken from her. The trauma reactions come out when in a high-stress situation. She doesn’t just point out something is wrong with the timeline, she says so graphically and mentions she’s seen it multiple times, she has no tact to be had here and she doesn’t even fully grasp what Gallifrey had done to her yet. 

“Gat: There won't be two payments, because two of the same Time Lord can't occupy the same space at the same time. It's an abomination. It'll destroy the time streams before you get anywhere near Gallifrey. Doctor: What did you say?...Gallifreyan. You're from home. Gat: I serve for the glory of Gallifrey. Doctor: Then both of you can only be my past. But that's impossible, because I know my own past. I lived through it. All of it. Fugitive!Doctor: You're wrong.

Doctor: I'm not wrong. I've seen Gallifrey destroyed. Twice. First by a war, second by a lunatic who I'm still trying to find. In my time, Gallifrey doesn't exist. It's gone. Forever. And if you don't know that, you're in my past. So, you are only serving at the glory of ash and bone.”

This episode was overall very upsetting. She deals with flashbacks during this episode, we notice the hypervigilance and fight-bound procedural memories go back to the Fugitive!Doctor. Even when she has been fob-watched she already couldn’t hide who she was on the inside fully. 

As we move forward with this arc (TV: Timeless Children) we end up with The Doctor learning about the abusive situation and mind-wiping that she went through repeatedly for an uncountable number of lives. She starts out being very confused and disbelieving;

“Doctor: I know my life. I know... I know who I am. Master: No, you don't. You never have. Your life has been hidden from you. Our founding parents wanted a noble creation myth for the Time Lords. Born To Rule. Doctor: I remember my home. I remember growing up. I remember you and me at the Academy together. Master: That happened. It just wasn't your first life. Doctor: Why would they lie? Why would they do that? Master: I wish it wasn't true, but it is. You know what I find the most infuriating? You always behaved like you were different, like you were... like you were special. And you were. You can see... you can see why I'm angry. A little piece of you is in me. All I am is somehow because of you, and believe me when I say, I cannot bear that. Doctor: Show me the rest. Master: I'm not sure you can cope with much... Doctor: Show me the rest! I have a right to know my own life.”

She starts to work through it when she is left in The Matrix by The Master.

“Fugitive!Doctor: Don't ask me, I'm as lost as you are in here. Maybe you just summoned me. Doctor: Where do you fit into all this? Were you me all that time ago? Were all my memories of you erased? Did they force me back into becoming a child? How many more of me are out there? Fugitive!Doctor: I don't have those answers. But say I did, would they even help? Doctor: Of course they would. All this, it means I'm not who I thought I was. Fugitive!Doctor: Because your memories aren't compatible with what you learnt today. Doctor: Yes. Fugitive!Doctor: Have you ever been limited by who you were before? Doctor: Ah. Now, that does sound like me talking. I'm so tired. The Matrix is sapping all the energy of out of me. Fugitive!Doctor: No time to be tired. Still, work to do out there. Lives at stake. Armies being born. People need The Doctor. Doctor: I don't know how to stop The Master. Fugitive!Doctor: Course you do. That one question that's nagging at you, the one thing he said that you didn't understand. Doctor: The one thing who said? The Master? Fugitive!Doctor: No. Get out of here. I know this place has blown your mind. Maybe you should return the compliment. Doctor: No, wait. Are you still there? Of course, she's still there. If you were me, you're buried within me, buried within... Too many thoughts. All right, first things first, what did she say? Mind blown. Yes! Of course! All this history, all these lies, it's too much stimulus. It might work. I've fought the Matrix before, denied its reality, I can do it again. Maybe...”

This moment is followed by a conversation with The Master within the same episode:

“Master: ... I have broken you and created a new race. And now? Now I shall conquer... everything. Oh. Doctor: You think you've broken me? You'll have to try harder than that. You've given me a gift. Of myself. You think that could destroy me? You think that makes me lesser? It makes me more. I contain multitudes more than I ever thought or knew. You want me to be scared of it because you're scared of everything. But I am so much more than you.”

While these words are good we know that this mental state isn’t the truth. The Flux arc shows that these positive statements do not fully resonate with her ability to fully integrate these revelations. In a sense, she wants to integrate these revelations about her history of abuse and trauma into her already scarred psyche. The Doctor is stubborn, inquisitive and brave by temperament, integration without action wasn’t going to come easy.

The memories of the Timeless Children being stolen also relate to the history The Doctor has with mind wipes with Donna (TV: Journey's End) and Clara (TV: Hell Bent) . A lot of pain is linked to the loss of memory. Swarm and Azure took the Fob Watch holding The Doctor’s memories away from her, opening them up to fracture her memories reinviting traumatic content to come up in her. (TV: The Vanquishers)

She is left with confusion about her past and pretty strong losses even if Gallifrey wasn’t kind to her she still grew up there and put themselves through hell to protect the common people of Gallifrey. To have lost herself, her past home and knowing another person died for her is exhausting to her mind and body. (TV: Timeless Children)

Instead of being free to process her trauma in a way that she could engage with other people, get trauma energy from her nervous system and even just get some fresh air she is taken into custody by the Judoon. She is left in a place that forces isolation and static movements. She is incapable of doing anything to help herself. She is forced into a situation that is already traumatic, being stressed in a situation with no escape, and carrying recent wounds that can’t heal. Terror without escape and resolution is the basis of trauma.

She mentions that she was imprisoned and that it hurt her in TV: Revolution of The Daleks.

“Harkness: Why were you in prison in the first place? Doctor: Evading the Judoon. Twice at once. Then once I was in, they took 7,000 other offences into consideration. Harkness: They stopped at seven? Doctor: I was in prison for being me... right at the point when I wasn't sure what that meant. Ah, it's been a tough few decades. Harkness: You're okay now, yeah? Doctor: Oh, I guess we'll find out. Wakey-wakey. Harkness: Hey! Doctor: Nice nap? Thanks for waiting. I had a lot to think about in there. And three very special people I've missed. Harkness: One of them was me, right? Doctor: You never change. Harkness: Wish I could say the same. Doctor: Right. Find me my fam.”

Panic and obsession she had about her lost memories became intensely powerful over time. This leads to trying to interrogate Karvanista in TV: Halloween Apocalypse mirrors a very real need people with dissociative amnesia have to understand what they have lost. This extends to  TV: Once, Upon Time we see flashbacks happen a lot tied into some of the sci-fi elements. Her getting lost in time reliving a traumatic incident that The Fugitive!Doctor experienced. It’s stronger than Yasmin Khan and Vinder experienced. While not directly flashbacks as it’s time distortions and the Mouri it very much mirrors when you have complete flashbacks and lose track of reality, and can’t let go easily of trying leaving her very distressed when she loses that connection psychically with her past. 

“Doctor: No, no, no. Put me back, put me back. I want to go back in there. I have to get back in! Yasmin: Doctor, it's okay. Doctor: It's not okay! Not for me! You don't understand anything. Yasmin: All right. Doctor: I had a chance while it was broken. Vinder: Well, it's not now. The Mouri, they're all back. Yasmin: You saved our lives.”

(TV: Once, Upon Time)

Her memories and fears around her stolen past come to a head in TV: Survivors of The Flux when she is able to meet Tecteun face to face. This woman we know medically, psychologically, and emotionally abused The Doctor for a very long time. Tecteun used The Doctor as a science experiment for her own gain and after that as a weapon. It’s horrific for a child to have been tortured medically so much she died repeatedly. The Doctor confronts her adoptive ‘mother’ about the situation and instead of truly getting answers or help she has to deal with the violence her ‘mother’ enacted on her and the universe being manipulative. 

“Tecteun: Yes. I found you. A lost child, alone, beneath a monument on a deserted planet, seemingly deposited thereby a wormhole. No way back, no one to care for you. Doctor: You took something that didn't belong to you. Tecteun: I rescued you. Would you prefer to have been left? Doctor: You assumed I came through that wormhole, but you don't know. What if I was waiting there to collected? What if I was supposed to be taken through it? What if whoever left me there was taken by that wormhole? Tecteun: What if, what if, what if? Doctor: You denied me my life! Tecteun: I gave you a life. Everything you are is because of me. But I understand. You think you could have been something else, someone else. Doctor: Maybe. I'll never know. Tecteun: You judge me for giving you the journey of your lifetime. What do you do, Doctor? Pick people up, take them with you? You adopt them, use them, for reassurance, for company. They're your experiments, just as you were mine. Doctor: We are not the same. Tecteun: This just shows I was right to order your memories erased.” & “Doctor: A Galifreyan device for the protecting and storage of memories and identities. Of course, you kept them, the memories you took from me. Tecteun: A good scientist never throws away their workings. We had them quantum stored for a long time in the Weeping Angel who tracked you and betrayed you but don't worry, it didn't escape. Everything has been transferred now, stored in that fob watch. Doctor: How much was lost? How many lives? How many people have I been? Dozens? Hundreds? Thousands? Tecteun: What would you give to know? What if I offered you a choice? You can return to the dying universe you left, defend it from its inevitable destruction and fail, or rejoin Division. Rejoin me. Come with us into the next universe, into the beyond. Help me build! With your memories restored. Be complete again. The next universe holds the other end of the wormhole where I found you. That universe may be where you're from, where you began. Your origins, perhaps. Think of the discoveries that would await us both there. A new start. Doctor: If you really knew me, you'd know I'd never agree to any of this, no matter how strong the incentive.”

Tecteun takes credit for all of the good Thirteen and The Doctor more widely had and done and her tendency to pick up people across time. And blames The Doctor for why they continued her abuse of The Doctor by forcing her to lose part of herself and her history. Pretending to know The Doctor and leaving The Doctor afraid of herself and angry at her story. More so than just losing the memories there is also a lot of anger at the way someone would do that to her. The Flux being sent out to the world is something The Doctor would never allow, showing that even when Tecteun tries to manipulate she doesn’t understand everything The Doctor is.

While Tecteun did change The Doctor on a deep level by what she did to them as a child, it doesn’t define everything The Doctor has been and can be. While Teteun views The Doctor as a daughter she has no grasp of the love and loss The Doctor has been through, who she is now.

The Doctor recovers the fob watch with her memories, given what she wanted but after more violence and loss. Realising she was keeping people at bay.

“Doctor: ... Yaz. I'm sorry. I didn't let you into what I was doing. Going after Karvanista. What I was looking for. I shouldn't have shut you out. Yasmin: No. You shouldn't have. Doctor: I was looking for information about me. A life I never knew. I want to tell you everything. Yasmin: I'd like that. DAN: Did you say left or right? Yasmin: Come on, Scouse, let Yorkshire show you the way. (The Doctor takes the fob watch out of her pocket, then removes a blue globe from the console and holds it over the long, long tunnel down into the workings of the Tardis.) Doctor: Do me a favour. Keep this safe somewhere deep within this Tardis. Somewhere I can never find it. (Drops it and replaces the globe.) Doctor: Unless I really ask for it.”

This shows that The Doctor can't deal with everything at that point when it comes to her possible memories or fully connecting with Yasmin Khan. That she doesn’t show or explain the fob watch Yaz is purposeful, she trusts Yaz very much but she doesn't trust herself to fully connect with her past. The way she phrases it to the TARDIS also points to a cold fear/anger flight mindset, showing she is still struggling to process her trauma. No matter if it is a good idea or not, she can’t deal with it all right now. But her true confidant here is her TARDIS, no matter how much she loves Yaz.

[delicatebluebirdruins]

Ethan's Diary

February 6th, 2021 Mia and I had another fight. I accidentally mentioned what happened there three years ago and she blew up at me. We finally settled down in our new life in Europe and can bring Rose up properly. But... I still feel like a part of me is trapped in that hell hole back in Louisiana.

I know Mia doesn't like to talk about it, but can we really just forget everything and pretend it didn't happen? Shouldn't we face what happened there so we can live our lives with Rose without it hanging over our heads? We owe her that much at least... I know Mia knows this too. She wouldn't have exploded like that at the hospital if she didn't care.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

emphasis mine: Mia feels a tremendous level of guilt for a) joining the connections b) starting with Evie at what ever point she did c) letting Evie get away whilst getting Alan away from when the incident took place d) trying to keep Ethan away but failing i have already said why the message wouldn't have fucking gone through and that is because storm and evie made her lose a door idk what to tell you e) Ethan gets hurt by her first of all under the influence of Evie

Mia in the bakers incident report (obligitory it should have been part of basic game and it should have had a moment of BSAA confirming they got all information about the connections she could give them) says she wants "to forget everything"

its normal to shy away from something painful, she spent 3 years in padded cell thinking of everything (when not in Evie La La Land). there is also a element of how her mold infection affected her after being treated by the BSAA. I got asked by @mushroomwithsomeink some time ago if Mia has abanonment issues and to an extent she does (the answer was not very good). Mia was part of a hive mind for years she knew where Jack was and was probably aware of everything else happening around her (all because of her not being able to convince Evie to stop or have the guts to break out the murder kit). The thought that the BSAA apparently let them live but without setting them up with therapists? (though the BSAA are the same people who let Chris still recovering from amnesia and binge drinking into the field- also plugging the fanfic catch me floating circles in fish bowl)

random thing as I was tying "forget everything" I had a thought about Riley Flynn from Midnight Mass (and ended up looking for quotes from the show and interesting ones will be under the read more- give them a look and see why i thought of Mia when i reread these)

Both Mia and Ethan have CPTSD I have no real thoughts what i shared is honestly explanation enough

from the NHS website

Complex PTSD - Post-traumatic stress disorder

You may have complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) if you have some of the symptoms of PTSD, and also have problems with managing your emotions and having relationships.

Symptoms of complex PTSD

The symptoms of complex PTSD are similar to symptoms of PTSD, but may also include:

feelings of worthlessness, shame and guilt

problems controlling your emotions

finding it hard to feel connected with other people

relationship problems, like having trouble keeping friends and partners

Causes of complex PTSD

Complex PTSD may be caused by experiencing recurring or long-term traumatic events, for example:

childhood abuse or neglect; domestic violence; sexual abuse

torture, sex trafficking, or slavery; war

You may also be more likely to develop complex PTSD if:

you experienced trauma at a young age

you were harmed by someone close to you who you trusted

you were unable to escape the trauma

treatment for PTSD and CPTSD is hard and when the other person your primary support is also dealing with it? that is even worse honestly there is a thing called secondary trauma

from mind: 'Secondary' means that although the original (primary) trauma happened to someone else, the impact it's having in your life is traumatic for you. It doesn't mean it's any less significant than any other kind of PTSD, or any easier to deal with. Our page for friends and family has some tips on looking after yourself.

both Mia and Ethan are dealing with the primary trauma from the baker estates and secondary trauma from each other

from PTSD UK

"Anyone who cares for a person living with PTSD can reduce the impact secondary trauma has on them if they carefully approach the situation. The first step is to learn the signs of secondary trauma:

– Emotional exhaustion – Increasingly negative perception of self – Depression – Anxiety – Difficulty eating or sleeping – Feelings of hopelessness"

ETA1 Speaking about it would be a way to make it all real again to acknowledge this horrible shit that Mia is partially responsible for (i know its not part of RE universe but the fic bruise won't heal the stain stays put from the numbers show is pretty much the thought i had with this addition for sure)

Riley: I don't know. That's kind of the whole thing. I don't know. I have no idea. I mean, in prison, it was easy. I had things to do, you know? Count the days. Count down the sentence. Eat, sleep, read. It's all pretty spelled out for you. Regimented. But here? Here I have nothing. What, am I going to get a job? Go to school? I have no money, no prospects. I just exist now. That's it. I have absolutely no purpose at all. I'm just sitting in my parents' house, breathing, and serving no purpose to anyone whatsoever. I'm just living. [long pause] And that's the worst part. Because I shouldn't be alive, Erin. So I don't know. What do I do here? I eat. Sleep. Shit. I don't know. Walk home now, eat dinner, wait out this fucking storm.

-i think the debrief and everything directly after might have been anywhere between six months and a year for Ethan and Mia

Riley: No, alcohol isn't good or bad. But the version of me that would come out when I had enough to drink, he was bad. He was selfish and careless and he ruined my life. There is a saboteur inside of me, and I always thought, you know, we'd work it out. We'd learn to live with each other, because he wouldn't really hurt me. Not me. I fed him, so he wouldn't hurt me. And then one morning I woke up and found out he killed someone. I had killed someone. So who's to blame there? I am to blame there. And God? He just kind of let it happen, didn't he? See, that's the part I cannot square. Because you're right, there is so much suffering in the world. So much. And then there's this higher power. This higher power who could erase all that pain, just wave his hand and make it all go away, but doesn't? No. No thank you. The worst part is that it lets all the rest of us off the hook. We can watch so many people just slip into these bottomless pits of awful and we can stand it. We can tolerate it because we say things like, "God works in mysterious ways." Like there's a plan? Like something good's going to come out of it? Nothing good came out of my drinking. Nothing good came out of me killing that poor girl. Nothing good came out of Joe Collie's drinking. And not a single good thing comes out of Leeza never being able to walk again. Nothing good came out of a metric ton of crude oil filling up the bay. And the only thing, the only fucking things that lets people stand by, watching all this suffering, doing nothing, doing fucking nothing, is the idea that suffering can be a gift from God. What a monstrous idea, Father.

"No Pain. No Memory, No Awareness That I Ever Was. That I Ever Hurt Someone."

eta 1 I mentioned their fics in this post so it makes sense in my head to plug them @screechthemighty @talistheintrovert

[lil-cutesy-things]

Understanding BPD, part 2 (Kisses from July 2024 #4)

Or How I Successfully Recovered from BPD

Hi pumpkins 🧡 Welcome back to "Kisses from July 2024"!

TODAY'S TOPIC

In the fourth part of this series, I will talk about my personal recovery from BPD.

THE ORIGINS

As you may already know, I was bullied by some of my classmates when I was a child.

Because I suffered from urinary incontinence, they said I was disgusting, that I had no hygiene, etc. They would move away and call me names whenever they saw me. They would verbally abuse me whenever they saw me.

Because I was autistic (non-diagnosed at that time), they said I was weird. They would laugh and imitate my posture (I was very much curled up in myself), my way of walking (I was always tip-toeing around), etc.

Nobody cared enough to defend me. My friends thought the verbal abuse was no big deal. They would hear my bullies call me names and yet do nothing about it.

On the few times I tried to talk about it with the adults I knew, they put the blame on me. Depending on who I was talking to, I was too shy to fit properly, too haughty, not forgiving enough...

As for myself, I was terrified of what could happen if I dared fight back. Would my bullies hurt me? Would the verbal abuse turn into physical or sexual abuse?

Because I was constantly worried about my security and well-being, running through the worst-case scenarios, I developed stress and anxiety issues.

Because I firmly believed that everyone would eventually leave me behind, I developed a strong fear of abandonment, which is one of the main symptoms of BPD.

FROM CHILDHOOD TO ADOLESCENCE

When I left middle school, the bullying stopped since me and my bullies were going to different schools.

I did my best to be the good girl people wanted me to be. I suppressed my feelings of despair and anger; I put on a smiling mask and hid the me who was deeply hurt and insecure.

This game of hide-and-seek lasted for several years before my mask started to crack and chip. It eventually shattered, exposing my vulnerable true self.

To quote my post on anger management and acceptance, "I hated myself, but I was the only person I could trust to take me forward. Even if I was blaming myself for the traumatic events that were happening to me, even if I felt completely powerless, I could not afford to rely on anyone else."

Driven by a fierce desire to live, I swore to myself I would ensure my own safety and keep myself healthy.

NO HOPE WHATSOEVER?

When I was diagnosed with BPD in early 2023, I was not that surprised. I have been suspecting I had it for a few years.

Despite that, I could never bring myself to hope recovering from this disorder. While doing some research, I read that BPD has a high rate of suicide.

Because I still believed that I would eventually succeed in taking my own life, I did not hope for a complete recovery. I did not think this was even a possibility.

WHAT ABOUT NOW?

In early 2024, I asked my psychiatrist if I still have BPD. He said no, I do not suffer from BPD anymore since my symptoms have changed over the years.

CONCLUSION

Just as there is not a single universal cause of BPD, there is not a single universal way to recover from this disorder.

Nevertheless, I will leave some basic advice below.

★ Choosing yourself over and over again helps a lot with the fear of abandonment. You will feel less and less scared of being left behind if you know for sure that you can rely on yourself.

★ Finding some healthy ways to express your feelings helps a lot with self-harm. Try to find creative outlets to get your anger out. If you can't think of any options, I would suggest taking a look at the first part of this series, "It's okay to feel something", which offers advice on expressing your feelings instead of suppressing them.

★ Anticipate your mood swings. Identify your triggers – how does this or that make you feel? What coping mechanisms do you end up using?

★ Prepare an emergency plan. Therefore, when you find yourself in a stressful or dangerous situation, you will be ready for any eventuality. I would advise you to have a list of emergency contact numbers.

★ Get yourself a first aid kit to carry everywhere. A fillable drinking bottle, snacks, pain relievers, medicines, sanitary pads, tampons, condoms, contraceptives, you name it. If it helps you, then take it with you.

BLOGS TO FOLLOW ON TUMBLR

• @borderlinereminders ➙ Kind reminders and positivity for people with BPD.

• @traumasurvivors ➙ Support and validation for trauma survivors.

Love,

Bay 💋

[steveharrington]

Sarah! Happy Birthday! I recently reread "things to come" since it's a personal all time favorite, and while it's both amazingly written and structured, there was just this "something" it had that made me go gooey in every way. It took awhile to really pinpoint what it was but I realize that it's how you view and characterize Steve as a whole. I know there's a largely accepted headcanon of Steve having unhealed trauma, unhealthy habits, and PTSD (very reasonable because all of the characters have been through so much), but in a lot of the other fanfiction works I've read, his episodes or possible symptoms are depicted in a very fetishistic way. In a way he is "babygirlified", or put into a submissive role that is more like an uncomfortable caricature of who he really is. This has shown up in general works as well as NSFW work.

Everyone is free to interpret things how they choose, but I have a particular itch I must scratch since I'm a lover of psychology and the affects of mental illness on the brain. I also actually really support the adopted headcanon of the Stranger Things characters developing some form of post traumatic stress as a result of the continuous near death experiences they've faced.

A direct quote explaining Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD: "Survivors with Complex PTSD have a very difficult time with emotions -- experiencing them, controlling them, and for many, just being able to comprehend or label them accurately..." [beautyafterbruises.org] this website actually does a great job of explaining the affects of this illness if you ever want to read about it.

This can be labelled as Emotional Disregulation. The symptoms and reactions aren't something to be romanticized: episodes can cause one to lash out in defense, lie for fear of what "is" or what they suspect is happening (could be a physical or emotional flashback), isolate themselves to feel "safe", dissociation and a low self esteem, guilt delusions that have your entire body feeling "wrong", an inability to see yourself as anything other than bad or shameful or different even when told otherwise, issues with memory. Your brain is working on a completely different level than someone else; all the cogs working ten times harder.

And I think there's just such a human beauty to how you depict Steve [as well as the other characters] because I very much see reflections of the real side of this illness in your characterization. Intentional or not. Yes, he is flawed: he was a bully, he lies, he makes mistakes, he gets defensive, and he pushes and pushes until his body can't bear it anymore. On all accounts, it makes sense why he's so willing to give himself up at any given chance and I wouldn't be surprised if he expects the people he loves to abandon him. Steve may be damaged, but he makes up for it in his loyalty and character. He tries and tries, a protector through and through, he's understanding and soft, kind and blessed with a snarky attitude, he loves deeply and gives it his all even when it's unrequited. Most importantly though, despite Steve being a contender for mental illness in this form, you still stay true to him as a person. He isn't boiled down to be this one dimensional post it note of a character. You've executed this with all of the cast actually - they feel fleshed out and real and so so human. You emphasize the importance of connection, of care, of patience and understanding. Whether that's through his friendship with Robin, his interactions with Jim and Wayne, or his relationship with Eddie. To have true friendships, people that truly care to sit with you through the ugly side of things, it's amazing. You've written a delicious piece of literature that has so many layers; I still find myself studying how you did it. But I'm so glad you did. I cannot wait to read your newest update as I'm sure it will be just as good as the last. This message extends to @lesbianrobin since they seem to be your "partner in crime", blessed thanks to the both of you.

🧜‍♂️

THANK YOU this is so sweet and means so much to me <3 :’) i spend so much time thinking abt how everything that’s happened would affect steve, and if the show doesn’t want to talk about it then i will!!! i was also a psych major so i am glad i can at least use my degree to write stranger things fanfiction hehe

[dissociativediscourse]

Hello! This is a question regarding complex childhood trauma and how it could lead to CDDs-

So, background info, I’ve been questioning whether or not I’m a system for a while. Other people have also basically gone ‘🤨’ at me and have told me that my experiences seem rather similar to OSDD. I may quote someone as saying ‘yeah that’s some OSDD shit’. Includinggg one Dxed DID system. Which is. Hm!

It’s gotten to where the woman doing my intake appointment for my college counseling sessions has suspected me of it. (Though I wouldn’t call them… the MOST ah, experienced institution for it considering a lot of their knowledge is from one 1-week seminar that was done last year)

One thing that I tend to get hung up on is what exactly my trauma was to cause this, or at least a level of dissociation to resemble a CDD at all.

Now, I know that it’s not the best idea to go digging for trauma, but I’m a very curious person at heart, and it’s less digging up memories and more ‘which already known memory or events could have caused this?’

One of my leading hypotheses is: literally just having untreated generalized anxiety disorder through my WHOLE childhood. It’s genetic so it was there biting my ass the whole time.

This does beg the question; CAN such a thing cause a CDD or CDD-presenting symptoms?

I’ve heard that it’s chronic trauma, or repeat chronic stressors that lead to the development of CDDs. A sort of constant fight or flight mode.

What’s fucky about GAD is that it can give ya that shit for free! No outside stressors needed!

Note that, like disorders do, my GAD is far greater in severity now than it was in my childhood, but my example still stands…

TLDR: could someone develop a CDD from untreated childhood generalized anxiety disorder while having a pretty good life otherwise, because generalized anxiety can mayhaps ‘substitute’ for a stressful environment in childhood with its own, shall I say, ‘home-grown’ stress? Could just having a genetic anxiety disorder throughout childhood lead to such stress as to cause dissociation to cope with it?

Are there any studies on this? If not, anybody wanna do a study? I think people should do studies more, they can be fun to do. But not tumblr poll studies, like, actual research paper studies. With annotated bibliographies and statistical significance and all that fancy stuff.

(Additional thing: I really feel people underestimate how Fucked GAD can be as a disorder. It can fuck up your cardiovascular system! It can give you HEART PROBLEMS just because heehoo adrenaline glands go brr! No major panic attacks needed, even! Just chronic stress alone!)

I’m going to first link you to my most recent ask so that I don’t have to repeat the same things over and over. https://www.tumblr.com/dissociativediscourse/715062976412073984/hello-i-made-a-post-reaching-out-to-the-plural

And then, I’m going to restate something: I can’t diagnose you. I don’t diagnose people, and neither should anyone else on Tumblr or IRL (that isn’t a licensed professional). The words of others that say you have Vibes really don’t matter that much in the big picture because whether they have it or not or have been through a one week seminar or not, they aren’t professionals and have not been trained to spot it and diagnose it and treat it, and that’s kind of the deal with that.

Secondly, I want you to know that I’m not trying to invalidate you or say that you’re wrong or anything like that… But there are a few things I have to point out.

One of those is that a huge part of DID is disorganized attachment/lack of a trustworthy caregiver/inability to receive comfort from trauma/lack of a safe place. As well, your brain can’t traumatize itself to the point of developing a CDD. This is an immutable fact, no matter what disorder is involved. GAD alone cannot and will not ever be able to cause DID, nor will any other disorder. The question isn’t “was this traumatic”. It is “Did this disrupt this child’s brain development repeatedly in a way that would result in a CDD?”.

GAD is stressful, but it would need a few extra steps from the outside to cause a CDD to form.

Now, I don’t know whether or not those happened. And if you don’t, you shouldn’t go digging at this point. You should honestly take the advice that I linked to in the last ask. Get help, and start working on symptom management. Because it doesn’t matter whether or not you have a dissociative disorder as much as it matters that you’re okay. If you need help, you deserve it. And you deserve help that works for you. The whole point of a diagnosis is to allow you get the right help and be as safe and happy as possible.

I don’t know anything about your childhood besides what you’ve told me, so that’s about as far as my advice goes. But if you do one thing, please, *please* read the post I linked, because that’s the best starting point I can offer.

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

[tokensbossh]

What is Captain America's disorder?

Captain America, also known as Steve Rogers, is one of Marvel's most iconic superheroes. Beyond his physical abilities, his character portrays a complex psychological profile influenced by his past and the events he endured. Let's dive into an analysis of Captain America's mental health, medical history, and the broader implications of his story through the lens of trauma and resilience.

What is Captain America's disorder (2)

What Disorders Does Captain America Have?

Steve Rogers' journey is not just a tale of heroism; it’s a narrative that reflects significant medical and psychological challenges. Prior to becoming Captain America, Steve suffered from multiple medical conditions, including: - Asthma - Hypermobility - Moderate hearing loss - Red-green color blindness - Scoliosis - Heart arrhythmia - Pernicious anemia These ailments paint a picture of a young man determined to fight for justice despite his physical limitations. Even post-transformation, his mental health, particularly post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia), continues to reflect the toll of his experiences.

Exploring Captain America’s Mental Health Challenges

The psychological depth of Captain America becomes evident when analyzing his experiences through trauma theory. As a World War II veteran, Steve Rogers exhibits symptoms of PTSD and survivor’s guilt, especially after losing his closest friend, Bucky Barnes. According to a case study from The Artifice, “Steve Rogers stands as an important example of depression, its symptoms, and how it can affect the hyper-masculine archetypes of today's superheroes.” - Survivor’s Guilt: The loss of comrades during the war and his perceived role in their demise. - Displacement and Isolation: Being frozen for decades, only to wake up in a world that had moved on without him. - Persistent Grief: Over friends and loved ones lost both during and after the war. These challenges highlight the vulnerability behind his stoic demeanor, making him relatable to audiences grappling with similar issues.

What is Captain America's disorder (2)

The Role of the Super Soldier Serum

The transformation through the Super Soldier Serum eradicated Steve's physical ailments but did not shield him from emotional trauma. As a Reddit analysis noted, “Cap's immunity to diseases and pathogens does not extend to mental health conditions.” Interestingly, some theories suggest that the serum heightened his sensitivity, making him more attuned to his emotions and the world around him. This duality — physical perfection but emotional vulnerability — is central to understanding Captain America's humanity.

What Makes Captain America a Case Study in Resilience?

Despite his struggles, Steve Rogers embodies resilience. His determination to uphold justice, protect the vulnerable, and lead with integrity offers an inspiring counterbalance to his internal battles. His story illustrates how mental health challenges don’t define a person but instead add depth to their character.

What is Captain America's disorder (1) Quotes That Reflect His Resilience: - “I can do this all day.” — A testament to his unwavering spirit. - “The price of freedom is high, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

External Perspectives on Steve Rogers’ Health

Scholars and fans have delved into the symbolism of Captain America's ailments and mental health. A Wichita State University analysis describes him as a “perfect case study through the lens of trauma theory,” emphasizing how his narrative parallels real-life experiences of veterans and survivors of loss. For further reading, visit the comprehensive analysis on Wichita State University's platform or explore insights on his medical history on Wikipedia.

Ideas for Future Discussions

Captain America’s story offers numerous avenues for exploration: - The Impact of Super Soldier Serum on Mental Health: Did it amplify existing conditions? - Comparative Analysis: How do other Marvel characters' mental health journeys compare to Steve's? - Real-World Parallels: Insights from veterans coping with PTSD and survivor’s guilt. These topics provide an opportunity to delve deeper into how popular culture reflects and addresses mental health challenges, making Captain America’s journey more than just a superhero tale—it’s a story of human resilience. Read the full article

[dee-diary]

"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living." Marcus Tullius Cicero

Pieces of a Woman

“A mother's grief is as timeless as her love.” - Joanne Cacciatore. This quote acknowledges that when a mother faces the loss of her child, the grief she experiences is equally enduring. “Pieces of a Woman” is more than simply a movie; it's an emotional journey that explores the terrible effects of losing a child. Following this horrific tragedy, the woman and her partner struggle with immense grief, dissatisfaction, and emotional suffering. This blog will explore the impact of the movie in the perspective on an Occupational therapy student.

The movie follows the journey of a woman called Martha and her partner, a couple who were eagerly anticipating the birth of their first child. On the night Martha got into labour, the planned midwife was unavailable as she was assisting another woman in labour around the same time. The delayed arrival of the replacement midwife is a crucial factor in the unfolding tragedy, as it led to a prolonged labour process. Thereafter the delayed reaction of the midwife to call for emergency medical team when complications arose. Despite her efforts, they were unable to save the baby, resulting in a heartbreaking loss for the couple. “How can I give this pain to someone else?” something Martha kept uttering throughout the movie. For the remainder of the movie, we watch as Martha handles interpersonal relationships, legal disputes, and rollercoaster of emotions while going through the grieving process.

Grief is the experience of coping with loss (Professional, n.d.). “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." -Unknown. As the viewers, we are taken through Martha’s journey of grief which included different stages. A Swiss psychiatrist called Kubler-Ross introduced the five-stage grief model.

Kübler-Ross five-stage grief model.

In the Denial stage,Martha, and her partner’s refusal to accept the emergency medical team intervention can be seen as a form of denial, as they held to their lifeless newborn with the belief that everything will turn out fine. After the traumatic loss of their child both Martha and her partner experienced intense anger. In this anger stage, Martha’s partner would have random anger bursts at his colleagues at work. Martha directed her anger to her midwife whom she blamed for the tragedy. Due to their shared frustration over the loss and their failure to safeguard their newborn, this harmed their relationship. Martha's desperate legal pursuits, involving consulting lawyers and experts, serve as a form of bargaining as she seeks closure to make sense of this tragedy.

For majority of the movie, we witnessed Martha be in the depression stage where she experiences profound sadness, emotional withdrawal, and a sense of hopelessness. In addition, her struggle to engage in basic daily activities living (ADL), including work. Furthermore, impacted her relationship with her partner who she pushed away after rejecting every support from family and suggestion for therapy. The movie doesn't directly show Martha in the acceptance stage, but there are signs that Martha is slowly accepting her loss as she goes through the court case and confronts her midwife on the stand. By the end of the movie, it seems Martha is trying to find a way to move on with her life.

As an Occupational therapist student, I observed her struggle with the loss and symptoms of Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), hindered her ability to engage in her ADLs and role duties. PTSD is a mental health condition that can develop in individuals who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event (Pitman et al., 2012). This was observed as she presented with impaired sleeping patterns, social participation. Simple acts like getting out of bed, going to work, or even maintaining relationships became very difficult tasks for her. All these symptoms impacted on her occupational performance.

However, with Martha's partner, the occupational barriers presented differently. His role as a provider and support system for Martha was disturbed by her emotional withdrawal and his own struggle to cope with the loss. His inability to fully understand and connect with Martha led to misunderstandings and obstacles in their bond, making it difficult for them both to work together on fulfilling their project of moving to a new town.

This movie has shown how occupational therapy could have been a valuable resource in promoting the characters' well-being and recovery, addressing these occupational barriers to promote occupational performance. Martha and refusing therapy and assistance from her surroundings played a factor in why her grieve process took long. A therapist would have played a pivotal role in helping Martha regain her self-care skills, rebuild her daily routines, and gradually reintegrate into her roles and responsibilities. For Martha’s partner, he would have benefited from occupational therapy to help with better communication and coping strategies to navigate the emotional toll of their shared loss.

This movie serves as a reminder that, as future occupational therapists, our work goes much beyond physical rehabilitation. We serve as advocates for mental health, agents of empathy, and coordinators of fulfilling work.

References: Barone, J. E., & Ivy, M. E. (2004). Resident work Hours: The Five Stages of Grief. Academic Medicine, 79(5), 379–380. https://doi.org/10.1097/00001888-200405000-00002

Professional, C. C. M. (n.d.). Grief. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24787-grief

Wortman, C. B., & Silver, R. C. (1989). The myths of coping with loss. PubMed, 57(3), 349–357. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006x.57.3.349

Pitman, R. K., Rasmusson, A. M., Koenen, K. C., Shin, L. M., Orr, S. P., Gilbertson, M. W., Milad, M. R., & Liberzon, I. (2012). Biological studies of post-traumatic stress disorder. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 13(11), 769–787. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3339

[lifecoachsabina]

Quotes from Gabor Mate:

“All of the diagnoses that you deal with - depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar illness, post traumatic stress disorder, even psychosis, are significantly rooted in trauma.

They are manifestations of trauma. Therefore the diagnoses don't explain anything.

The problem in the medical world is that we diagnose somebody and we think that is the explanation.

He's behaving that way because he is psychotic.

She's behaving that way because she has ADHD.

Nobody has ADHD, nobody has psychosis - these are processes within the individual.

It's not a thing that you have.

This is a process that expresses your life experience.

It has meaning in every single case.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So self-acceptance does not mean self-admiration or even self-liking at every moment of our lives, but tolerance for all our emotions, including those that make us feel uncomfortable.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s a subtle thing, freedom.

It takes effort; it takes attention and focus to not act something like an automaton.

Although we do have freedom, we exercise it only when we strive for awareness, when we are conscious not just of the content of the mind but also of the mind itself as a process.’

We may say, then, that in the world of the psyche, freedom is a relative concept: the power to choose exists only when our automatic mechanisms are subject to those brain systems that are able to maintain conscious awareness.

A person experiences greater or less freedom from one situation to the next, from one interaction to the next, from one moment to the next.

Anyone whose automatic brain mechanisms habitually run in overdrive has diminished capacity for free decision making, especially if the parts of the brain that facilitate conscious choice are impaired or underdeveloped.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Learn to read symptoms not only as problems to be overcome but as messages to be heeded.”

[fqirycollective]

Endogenic Systems

What is an endogenic system?

The term “endogenic system” is an umbrella term for all systems that origins of plurality did not stem from trauma. According to all research I’ve read (and if you have a source, I’d love to read it /g), this is impossible. Systems form due to prolonged and severe trauma during childhood (although severity isn’t necessarily the most important part). In essence, I’d like to believe that all endogenic systems are really traumagenic systems that don’t remember their trauma due to amnesia and they identify as endogenic because of such. I hope this is the most common type, but I know it’s not. Other reasons people may identify as endogenic systems is because they want to fake a system without faking the trauma, they have an Internal Family System (IFS, which is very different from a system of alters), or they’re tulpas/tulpamancers (which unfortunately is often a culturally appropriated version).

Harm of Endogenic Systems

Endogenic systems do a lot of harm to our community. The first way is spreading misinformation. From the idea that systems can form without trauma, to the idea of system hopping from brain to brain. This gives singlets the wrong idea and romanticizes the idea of having alters. Alters aren’t something you want, but we’ve already made a post on that. System hopping (as the endogenic red-flagged term) is impossible, as you can’t literally give a piece of your consciousness to another person. It’s also used as a form of manipulation to cause fear and anxiety around the idea of someone else entering another system and harming the alters in said system. This fear and anxiety can be used to coerce a system into doing something they don’t want to do. Not only this, but endogenic systems often message “sysmeds” for believing science over what they’re talking about and angrily talk about how we deserve our trauma, how we should be traumatized more, etc. and while I’m sure these messages aren’t only from their end, it doesn’t change that it still happens, even to those who don’t send such messages first. The idea of being endogenic is also harmful to endogenic systems themselves, as it can shatter their entire reality when they do discover their trauma (if actually traumagenic). 

“Trauma isn’t in the diagnostic criteria.”

This is absolutely true! It isn’t in the diagnostic criteria. However, do a little research on the history, and you’ll know why. But to put it simply, the phenomenon of dissociation was originally considered to be a form of hysteria. The 1st edition of the DSM differentiated “dissociative reactions” from “other reactions,” while the 2nd edition included dissociative conditions under hysteric neurosis. Eventually in the 3rd edition, the hysteria symptoms were distributed across a bunch of different diagnoses and the label of hysteria then became meaningless. Because of the history of dissociation being considered hysteria, the diagnostic criteria reflects that, NOT the overwhelming connection to trauma.

“There’s no connection between trauma and dissociation.”

In all studies shown, there has been a vigorous and consistent connection between trauma and dissociation. The connection between trauma and dissociation is so strong that the APA put dissociative amnesia, dissociative fugue, and DID under the commonly associated list for PTSD, a trauma disorder. However, things such as drug and alcohol usage can also simulate dissociative experiences. I even have quotes from an actual scientific paper to back this up.  “Most patients with dissociative identity disorder, dissociative disorder NOS, and dissociative amnesia fit readily into the disorders of extreme stress NOS or complex PTSD paradigms, or both.”  “Since the 1980’s, research has elucidated multiple lines of evidence linking dissociative disorders with antecedent trauma. In aggregate, these separate lines of evidence constitute a strong case for significant trauma as a necessary antecedent to the development of pathological dissociation.”  “The frequency of this finding for many different forms of traumatic experiences and across many cultures indicates the universality of the association between trauma and dissociation.” 

Non-disordered Systems

The only reason for a non-disordered system to exist is when a system undergoes therapy and trauma work enough to no longer qualify for a diagnosis (either through functional multiplicity or final fusion). Otherwise, there is no record of such an occurrence outside of what people just claim. The only scientific paper that I’ve read that suggested systems are formed by anything other than childhood trauma (that’s not the first few ideas) instead believed it is caused by psychologists implanting the idea of being a system into the person’s mind. Therefore, I don’t believe in non-disordered systems beyond systems formed through OSDDID who have gone through trauma work and integration. An IFS may fall under this non-disordered system idea though, so if anyone wants to comment about that and tell me for sure then I’ll gladly listen.

[notactuallyanonky0mk]

Why Even New ABA 'therapy' Is Bad.

I got bored so I decided to start a project.

Note: I write everything in the notepad app on my computer so it isn't exactly fit to Tumblr format and might look a bit wonky because I don't feel like editing it to fit. I also put off posting it for a while because it wasn't something I originally thought about posting while writing. I don't actually know what to put as a rating so I will put mature as it does make a mention to SA/Peer pressure + Bullying. I will note that even though I did do research it does not mean I am fully correct on some of these topics so feel free to correct me and remember that I am just another person on the internet and not an actual professional.

Reminder: This is all opinion backed up on personal research and experiences.

2:03 PM 2022-10-21

Why Applied Behaviour Analysis "Therapy" is Harmful.

ABA 'therapies' direct goal and main focus is to alter and/or eliminate an Autistic childs

behaviour, this holds to the fact that they think Autisic children need to be "fixed" and that

their behaviour is bad, behaviour is a from of necessary communication to people who

do not talk or even those who do talk, towards the people they know an example would be

"Grabby Hands" that is often used to show a want or need for an object in sight without

touching, or taking it away from its spot or the person who has it in their possession, if you

saw two children playing together and one suddenly grabbed a toy out of the other childs

hand you would think to reprimand the child for "Stealing", Children pick up on the fact

that taking it is bad, so they have to instead find a way to get the other child to give it to them

by communicating that they want it, usually using "Grabby Hands", by teaching children that,

said behaviour is bad they might resort back to just grabbing it, but by reinforcing the child to

talk who is often mute, it stresses them and causes anxiety, by punishing them when they

don't talk it teaches them that being comfortable and feeling safe in situation is "bad" and

"against the rules", often leading to them growing up with Mental Health issues and difficulties

with rules and/or authority causing outbursts, anger, and dislike towards those things.

Forcing a child to practice scripts and sit still so they can look like a

"Normal Child" is abuse, its unfair and teaches them to mask their Autism

and Neurodivergent traits. Autistic children should not have their behaviour

changed simply beacause it is not how an Allistic/Neurotypical child

acts, masking is a destroying behaviour and it ruins the ability to create

a personal identity, because you are constantly acting as if you were a

different person, to teach a child how to do this ruins their life,

It is abuse.

Credits to Research:

For more information on Masking and its Consequences. Also quoted a "A life of Suicidality".

https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/autism-masking

Quote From Above Site :

People may mask their autism characteristics for many reasons —

to boost their careers, connect with others, or avoid being stigmatized by other people.

Masking may help at times, but regular masking can have serious effects on mental and physical

health. This may include anxiety, depression, exhaustion, a loss of identity, and suicidal thoughts.

https://psychcentral.com/autism/autism-masking-why

Quote From Above Site:

Standard practice in particular autism therapies such as applied behavior analysis (ABA) has

historically been to redirect autistic behaviors and traits to meet neurotypical expectations.

But some autism advocates and members of the autistic community disagree with this strategy.

Some research has suggested ABA may cause post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms in some

autistic people.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/costs-camouflaging-autism/

Quote From Above Site:

Lawrence says that if she’d been diagnosed as a child, her mother might have understood her

better. She might have also avoided a long history of depression and self-harm. “One of the main

reasons I went down that route was because I knew I was different but didn’t know why —

I was bullied quite badly at school,” she says.

Mandy and his colleagues interviewed 14 young women not diagnosed with autism until late

adolescence or adulthood. Many described experiences of sexual abuse.

https://walkietalkiespeechtherapy.com/why-teaching-autistic-people-to-mask-is-an-outdated-and-harmful-practice/

Quote From Above Site:

In addition, research has shown that autistic people are more likely to commit suicide.

Many autistic people report that they feel a direct correlation between this statistic and the

exhaustion and depression that accompanies constant masking. Many autistic people mask

because they are expected to do so by society. But even occasional, limited masking can be damaging,

exhausting, and lead to long-term burn-out.

Why Applied Behaviour Analysis "Therapy" is Harmful.

ABA is a Compliance-Based 'Therapy' this means it is considered successful when the

child does what the 'therapist' says, in majority of cases children have their personal

belongings withheld, or taken away from them until they meet, and comply with the

demands that have been made, whether the personal belongings taken away are simply

something they want like a favourite toy or something they need like a comfort item or

food they packed and brought along to eat within the very long appointment hours, alot

of times attention is withheld which means if the child asks for say a bathroom break, or

something to eat/drink, they won't get it. This 'treatment' style is incredibly problematic

because in any other situation, such as with a spouse, or friend this kind of treatment->(punishment)

is seen as toxic, and manipulative towards the person, as if they didn't matter, all that

mattered was compliance towards another person's orders.

Beyond that and more, focusing heavily on compliance for children, especially autistic

children, is extremely dangerous. When autistic children are pushed and forced into

hours upon hours of compliance-based 'therapy' and 'therapies' from such a young and

vulnerable age, they are taught that their body is solely at the mercy of someone else,

that their body is not theirs to make decisions with or express feelings with. That when

somebody tells them, to do something with their body, they must comply.

It may seem as though this is not such a bad consequence but what happens

when it isn't a 'therapist' telling them to sit at a table and rearrange number magnets,

but instead a peer pressuring them into drugs or even sex.

Credits to Research:

This leads to issues with consent and decision making, when somebody doesn't know

how to make decisions for themselves or understand how consent works it leads to

vulnerability towards sexual assault, rape, domestic violence and abuse, among other

things it makes them a likely bully victim throughout Elementary School, Middle School,

Secondary->(HighSchool) and even College or University. Students with Autism are

already more likely to be bullied in a general standpoint of just simply existing with or

without a diagnosis, an interview study showed that if you asked a group of bullies if they

would bully a child for having a diagnosis of autism majority would say no, but if you asked

them whether or not they would bully a child with autistic traits such as strong insistence

on organization, difference in speech, difference in social interaction, adherence to routine,

ect… They would say "Yes, I would bully them." 33.9% of students with Autism face

high levels of bullying victimization in school(Reported) based on a 2016 Study, with an

increased risk due to ABA or any other type of compliance-based 'therapy' that number

would probably look something more like '45.5%' or possibly even higher.

https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/stats.asp

Quote From Above Site:

When assessing specific types of disabilities, prevalence rates differ: 35.3% of students with

behavioral and emotional disorders, 33.9% of students with autism, 24.3% of students with

intellectual disabilities, 20.8% of students with health impairments, and 19% of students with

specific learning disabilities face high levels of bullying victimization

Why Applied Behaviour Analysis "Therapy" is Harmful.

ABA focuses on positive reinforcement for target behaviour, though it may seem great it

doesn't work in the long term, as research has shown using extrinsic/external rewards

actually decreases the chance of the child doing said target behaviour in the future if a

reward isn't immediately present or available, instead intrinsic/personal rewards are more

effective as it teaches doing an action for personal need or want.

Rewarding extrinsically means that in later instances throughout life such as school work

or a business project, even just simply doing laundry will prove difficult to get done beacause

they have been taught that if they do something 'right' or 'successfully' they will get a

sticker or candy, so if there is no sticker the action is either 'wrong' or in the child's eyes

"Not worth doing." you don't get a sticker or candy for doing laundry or school work, so

the child will subconsciously lose any or all motivation towards doing the action and will

more than likely fail to even start the work, a example of this would be, reward a child for

sitting at a table and they will continue to sit at the table, but stop rewarding that behaviour

or expect the child to continue in a different setting than originally rewarded in they will

stop sitting at the table, this is especially true for autistic children who follow routines of

sameness and rules. In the child's mind if you give them a sticker for sitting at the table, they

should always get a sticker for sitting at the table. If you stop giving them stickers to sit at the

table why would they ever sit at the table?

Credits to research:

If the child ever wants to do anything in the future this will effect the decision making

behind its reasoning and rewards as they will begin to think that doing something

for personal reward isn't good enough, because there is no external reward, this causes

"Black and White" thinking, or as a more common term "All or Nothing", if they set a goal

and a 'good' extrinsic reward is there they will complete the goal they set even if it kills them,

another example would be if the task has an extremely important intrinsic reward that is

well needed they won't start it because it's simply not a 'good enough' reason to them, this

continues throughout adulthood and affects decision making behind reasoning, even if the

autistic person starts the task they either do their best and try so hard they mentally kill

themselves or they don't try at all, they are unable to see a middle ground in life thus unable

to make decisions surrounding it.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27084549/

Quote From Above Site:

Extrinsic Rewards Diminish Costly Sharing in 3-Year-Olds

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/black-and-white-thinking

Quote From Above Site:

An all-or-nothing mindset doesn’t allow us to find the middle ground. And let’s face it:

There’s a reason most people don’t live on Everest or in the Mariana Trench.

It’s hard to sustain life at those extremes.

https://www.talkspace.com/blog/black-white-thinking-ways-poisons-your-perspective/

Quote From Above Site:

Of course, the world is not an either/or place: Our lives are full of shades of gray.

By seeing the world in black and white — rather than the complex rainbow it actually is —

we may initially make it easier for ourselves to separate out good from bad, right from wrong,

and beautiful from ugly. But this kind of thinking can be exhausting, sending us through

constant ups and downs. And on a deep level, simplifying things into easy, binary terms robs us

of much of the complexity that makes life and relationships so rich.

https://www.soberish.co/black-and-white-thinking/

Quote From Above Site:

Everything is all or nothing.

Either you’re 100% committed to this diet or you’re stuffing your face with whatever you

can get your hands on. If you mess up and have a cookie?

The entire diet is destroyed! Throw it all away. You’ll never be healthy. You can’t do it!

Why Applied Behaviour Analysis "Therapy" is Harmful.

Most ABA 'therapists' say that an autistic child should have 20-40 hours in 'therapy', that is

essentially a part time to full time job that is expected of autistic children as early as toddlerhood.

Why should we expect that out of such young autistics, or even any older child.

On top of that big pile of misfortune parent are also told to continue the 'treatment' outside of

'therapy' hours, It is teaching children to constantly mask and hide themselves, even with people

they are supposed to feel comfortable and/or safe with, such as their own parents or friends, and

possibly even when they are alone.

That they must hide who they are constantly to act like somebody else because others don't like it

and prefer that they would act neurotypical, but when are the children aloud to play in their own way

and with their own autistic behaviours, while nowadays children are being encouraged to spend more

time with unstructured play, autistic children aren't given that luxury.

Why do autistic children have to be 'on' for so long, when do they get to rest and have downtime.

No child should have to work 20-40+ hours changing who they are because of others opinions.

No person should have to work to change who they are because of others opinions.

Credits to research:

The effects of masking are terrible. Being told to do that all the time even when with someone you

trust or when you're alone is just torturous and escalates the effects of it.

www.acceltherapies.com/how-long-are-aba-therapy-sessions

Quote From Above Site:

This implies they might require up to 40 hours of ABA therapy every week.

Why Applied Behaviour Analysis "Therapy" is Harmful.

ABA 'therapy' promotes the idea that autistic people and children must change to fit in, that their

behaviours and personalities are unwanted, that they as a whole are broken, a toy, an object to be

fixed so others will be comfortable and want to play and even just interact with them, and as long

as we subject and force autistics into these intensive 'therapies' we are continuously telling them

and society that autistic behaviours must be changed, that they are wrong and not welcome.

A world where stimming and meltdowns were understood and accommodated instead of openly

shamed and trained away as if they were 'bad' behaviours in a dog.

That will never happen when autistic children are spending multiple hours every day being taught

and told they have to change by doctors, family, 'friends', peers, teachers, and every other person

you could think of or imagine walking into their life.

Do not dismiss the concerns, cries, and pleas of autistic people who are speaking out against ABA 'therapy'

because even if your experience with it wasn't the torturous punishment-beased 'therapy' that was used

from 1968 and only started dropping in usage during the early 2010's but is still used in some settings today.

Autistic people are tired of being spoken over by neurotypicals, especially when they ignore the issues with

something and only point out false positives.

Main points:

By: E. Kerr.

7:57 PM 2022-11-08

Word Count: 2415

1 Changing Behavior as the Primary Goal

2 Compliance-Based Therapies & Issues of Consent

3 Focusing on Positive Rewards Instead of Intrinsic Motivation

4 Extreme Hours of Therapy Limits Autistic Children’s Free Time

5 Promoting the Idea That Autistic Children Must Change to Fit In

I have done external research on these topics as well as on child and early

adolescence psychology focusing on how situations affect adulthood and

the childhood brain, I truly hope that this personal writing project will help

bring awareness on the affects of ABA 'therapy' and other 'therapies' or

situations like these.