#"Mental breakdown symptoms"

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

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[woodlaflababab]

Aang, Psychology, and the Concept of “Running Away” (A Breakdown Of Aang's Trauma Responses)

So, one thing that always kind of threw me off about atla was Aang's ignoration and dismissiveness of the things that have happened to him and continue to happen to him. He never seemed to have any kind of trauma response (besides nightmares).

Recently I've realized that the ignoration is Aang's trauma response, and it runs pretty fucking deep. Aang shows a lot of trauma responses but they are not as noticeable because Aang is also ridiculously good at emotional regulation, to a toxic point imo, and probably due to his upbringing by monks.

Aang, as is pretty well covered by the show, has a problem with trying to 'run away’ from his problems. This steadily stops happening as much throughout Book 2 (though he is learning in Book 1), but what's interesting is, while his tendency to physically run away from problems ends, his tendency to emotionally run away increases.

We go from Book 1 in which Aang confides in Katara about the separation from the monks, to Book 2 in which Aang literally actively rejects attempts at comfort in favor of an emotional shut down, to Book 3 where, after the failed invasion, Aang immediately tries just about anything he can to avoid talking about it.

He's not necessarily 'running away’. He still owns up to his duty and is right on the ball when Zuko shows up to teach firebending. It is not the work he shies from, it is specifically talking about the failure. This is Aang's main trauma response. Before I delve deeper into that though, I want to talk about Aang's other trauma responses that get bypassed thanks to his ability to ignore them.

Quoting ‘What is Child Traumatic Stress’, “Traumatic reactions can include a variety of responses, including intense and ongoing emotional upset, depressive symptoms, anxiety, behavioral changes, difficulties with attention, academic difficulties, nightmares, physical symptoms such as difficulty sleeping and eating, and aches and pains, among others.”

Aang shows almost all of these at one point or another, and typically they show themselves when he finds himself incapable of mentally 'running away.’

Intense and Ongoing Emotional Upset: 

I'm mostly eyeing the avatar state episodes. His immediate reaction to traumatic events he is helpless to is explosive anger, but it fails to be ongoing because it is immediately followed by a shut down. 

- Aang on Zuko's boat. In this episode, while fighting with Zuko, Aang shows some pretty intense fear and his first (technically second) experience with the Avatar state is for survival and driven by fear (also, notably, a repeat experience of the same thing that caused the actual first experience). Yet, as soon as Aang is off of Zuko's boat, he's melancholy for a hot second and then turns on a dime and starts talking about the adventures they can go on. Avatar State -> Shut Down/dismissing or ignoring the problem.

- Aang at the Southern Air Temple. He starts off in deep obvious denial, like this kid is so obviously blocking. Then he sees Gyatso's body, goes into a rage and grief induced Avatar state, gets pulled out, can no longer use denial as his mental defense, and so once again turns to shut down. He's expressionless as he comes down, and when he's fully out he's just kind of tired and speaks with a soft almost toneless quality. He's admitting to the trauma and yet there's a numb resignation to it. He's not emotionally connecting with it. We see him after with Momo and Appa smiling and just being like “we gotta stick together :)”. That's not the appropriate response to admitting there's only three survivors of your home. Avatar State -> Shut down/dismissal

- Aang and General Fong. Aang experiences an extremely distressing and helpless situation while he watches Katara, one of two whole people in his life, be buried. He goes into a rage induced Avatar state, again, and then literally 'nope's out of the situation with help from Roku. And when he comes back, he shuts down. He doesn't react emotionally, he once again speaks in that soft, even, almost dead tone, apologizes, and dismisses the event. I mean, the way he addresses General Fong, the person who just caused this whole thing, is extremely chill, almost uncharacteristic. Just a simple, “you're out of your mind” with a tone that could make you think he was having a casual conversation with someone who just suggested eating cereal out of a cup. And then he's good! Momo comes back and he smiles and everything is all good again. Avatar State -> Shut down/dismissal.

- Then we have the desert, one of the few times Aang does not shut down immediately, but then it culminates in the Avatar State and he stays like that for a bit but once he comes down, his faces changes again, to what is almost resignation, like he's given up on being mad, which really, he has as we see later. And then the next episode and he's playing in some water, but as soon as Sokka brings up Appa, we see the face and tone that's now kind of familiar: soft, dead, dismissive. He's once again refusing to emotionally connect and is downplaying it. Avatar State -> shut down/dismissal.

Depressive Symptoms/Anxiety:

He shows fits of both, though these aren't as evident because, again, most of the time he's in an emotional block and ignoring the problems. But when he cannot ignore the absence of his lifelong companion, he has a long period of anger followed by a numb depressive state, he literally talks about giving up hope. He is entirely hopeless at this point.

And then when he cannot ignore the Day of Black Sun coming in a few days, his anxiety goes through the fucking roof. 

However, these don't last long and that'll connect to me talking about emotional regulation later.

Behavioral Changes:

Aang changes A Lot over the course of the series. Book 1 Aang is very distinct from Book 3 Aang (though we still see the core traits of him throughout). He becomes more hyper focused on doing his duty, tends to fall to the background when he can, generally takes on a much more somber demeanor.

Difficulties With Attention:

This one's not really huge. He has about the same amount of attention focus in Book 3 as he does Book 1, if not improvement.

Nightmares:

I don't think I have to explain this. Aang goes through multiple fits of nightmares.

Difficulties Sleeping or Eating:

Once again, I look to Nightmares and Daydreams, one of the few times Aang is unable to shut down or block. He cannot sleep for the life of him. I have plans to go back and pay attention to eating habits in Book 3 in order to potentially add onto this joke meta, but I would not be surprised if there were signs of a lowered appetite, even if the writers did not intend it.

Aches and Pains:

He doesn't ever complain about this but also like, would he? Even if he was experiencing them? Kid tried to fight people and fly through a storm while newly recovering from a lightning injury. Aang gives no shits.

Then the article also covers childhood PTSD diagnoses which I'd also like to go over real quick. “the child continues to re-experience the event through nightmares, flashbacks, or other symptoms for more than a month after the original experience; the child has what we call avoidance or numbing symptoms—he or she won’t think about the event, has memory lapses, or maybe feels numb in connection with the events—and the child has feelings of arousal, such as increased irritability, difficulty sleeping, or others.”

Most of these I just covered, but I think it's notable that numbness is also mentioned here, the exact symptoms I've been talking about. Avoidant, won't think about it, numb in connection.

And just to be sure that everyone is on board let me go through some other examples of Aang shutting down:

Katara brings up the 100 years and Aang immediately blocks that shit. It's literally too big for him to conceptualize, so he dismisses it as okay because he has a new friend now and moves on and doesn't think about it.

The Northern Air Temple. I think most people agree that the lesson in that episode was wrong. Aang had every right to be angry. There's nothing okay about taking over and destroying 100 year old artifacts of a nearly extinct culture. We see Aang react to this with a numbness. There's even a moment where he's just frozen and uncomprehending. “This place is unbelievable.” “Yeah. It's great isn't it?” “No, just unbelievable.” He reacts with anger later (notably when he feels like he can do something instead of being helpless), and then when he can no longer do anything, he once again just rejects any negative emotional turmoil in favor of that “it's fine” attitude and accepts what the people have done.

Then the desert, one of the few places we don't see him shut down immediately. Except, literally the next episode is all about Aang's hardest shut down yet.

There are other examples but I think you get the point. He does this A Lot.

Okay cool, so we've covered the denial and trauma responses part, but how does emotional regulation play into this?

I'm glad you asked.

So, when I was first considering Aang and this whole thing, I thought Aang exhibited emotional dysregulation, especially in regards to the Avatar State, but then I actually did some learning on emotional dysregulation and realized, actually, no, he doesn't. Emotional dysregulation is mostly characterized by emotional responses being out of proportion with the event, but I think we can all agree, pm every time he goes into the Avatar State, that emotional response is uh, rather warranted. Now, Aang does, in these moments, show the lack of control that can come with emotional dysregulation, but also like, who wouldn't.

Considering Aang's behavior outside of the Avatar State Outbursts, he's actually very good at emotional regulation. Scary good, in fact. Number One in the reasons I say this is everything I said above. The ability to shut down is often an active choice. Aang does not like who he is when he is upset and, outside the initial outburst, has a pretty firm grip on his emotions. He shows anger at times, but they are in appropriate places with more or less appropriate responses. 

The Desert stands out so much because Aang loses the control he normally has. This is where we see him lose his grip on himself and he spirals.

He rarely shows grief. During his lessons with the Guru he passes all the chakras with amazing ease because he legitimately is that good at controlling and managing emotions which, like I said at the very beginning, I attribute a lot of that to him being raised by monks. I mean, he's a 12 yr old who is skilled in meditation. I don't think it's a stretch to think the monks taught him other such things.

He doesn't react to small things that would normally piss people off. Examples include The Headband when he gives absolutely zero shits about the bully, and The Southern Raiders where he accepts Katara trying to steal Appa and doesn't react to Zuko mocking him and his culture. 

Aang also, paradoxically, can be pretty good at expressing emotions when he needs to. He's typically very emotionally intelligent, with the exception being pretty much any trauma. He will react to basic things in the moment and is unafraid to show frustration or anger or uncertainty, as long as it's Not connected to a thing he is distinctly Not thinking about.

And one of the most damning examples of his emotional regulation skill, that is actually the scene that started me thinking about all of this, is the scene with Koh the Face Stealer. 

That scene threw me off so much because I felt like it was incredibly out of character for Aang, this incredibly expressive kid, to be able to show no emotional reaction. It didn't make sense and for a long time I dismissed it as just, the writers thought it'd be cool so he did it. But of course, I can't let things lay, so I never really stopped thinking about it until I realized, in context of everything I've talked about before, it actually makes perfect sense.

Aang is emotionally expressive by choice. He has the ability to control his emotions and responses to a ridiculous degree. He knows how to be emotionally intelligent with basic things, where to express emotion and how to do it. 

(Of course, he's not perfect. There are plenty of times he acts out, the Bato episode being the first thing to come to mind, but even there, after just a few hours, he has wrestled with his jealousy and responds appropriately to guilt, he owns up to it. He does try to explain himself but when Sokka makes it clear he's not going to listen, Aang does not continue to press the point. He accepts Sokka's decision, does not lash out, and for once doesn't shut down or exhibit happiness soon after. He is sad and expresses it without shoving his emotions onto others. For a 12 yr old, this is fucking impressive.)

Aang was taught well by the monks, but the one thing they couldn't teach him was response to trauma, and that's where he falters, but that emotional regulation means he's not going to respond in a typical way. Instead, he turns to denial as his coping mechanism of choice and uses those skills he learned to achieve a workable state of being but through unhealthy use.

Where am I going with this? Idk. Nowhere really, I just wanted to talk about Aang and psychology tbqh.

Anyway, I will finish this up by a fun delve into Things He's Probably Going To End Up Suffering From:

Denial can lead to memory blocking, where it's more than just not thinking about it, the brain actively suppresses and alters memory to cope. Adult Aang's recollection of the Ozai year is probably not going to be super accurate. Would not be surprised if someone was like “hey remember that time you were almost executed by a town for your past live’s mistakes?” and Aang just went “No???” and legit has no recollection of any such thing.

Selective numbing will eventually turn into collective numbing. You can selectively numb for a temporary period of time (which is how people fall into the trap) but eventually your brain will start to numb everything, not just the bad things. At the very least teenage Aang absolutely goes through a period of dissociative complete numbness.

Speaking of dissociation, if you're not going to react to trauma the normal way, dissociation happens. It starts as a coping mechanism but like with numbing, it cannot remain controlled and will develop into something. Aang will have a dissociative disorder, I'm telling you. Which one? Idk, but I assure you, it'll be there. I'm leaning toward some basic depersonalization/derealization and/or OSDD type four where trauma and meditation accidentally mix for the worse.

So yeah, there you go, a breakdown of Aang, his trauma responses, his emotional intelligence, and the consequences of those two things put together.

I'm gonna be a nerd here and add shitty citations but this is mostly in case you're also a psych geek and want to read things.

“What Are the Dissociative Disorders”. International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation.

“Developmental trauma: Conceptual framework, associated risks and comorbidities, and evaluation and treatment”. National Library of Medicine.

“What is Child Traumatic Stress”. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network.

[darkmasterofdragons]

For 5 months my fiancé endured a rapidly progressing case of gastroparesis with a seemingly unknown cause, 7 different doctors, including 2 specialists hardly did anything to help him, both specialists and all but 1 of the general practitioners were fully convinced after he mentioned he consumed cannabis that he had cannibanoid hyperemesis syndrome, despite none of his symptoms lining up with the disorder and despite them not investigating ANY other possibilities including investigating the medications he was taking. (Additionally for him to develop CHS with the concentration and amount of weed he consumed would have been extraordinarily odd because he only smokes low THC plain flower and in very small amounts, he doesn't ever consume concentrates). Visit after visit he became worse and worse quickly losing his ability to consume any food or liquids, he became severely malnourished and dehydrated, threw up every single time he would eat or drink, experienced severe abdominal pain and bloating, rapid weight loss without trying among many other obvious signs of gastroparesis.

On his final trip to the ER after going several times for his worsening symptoms he encountered one of the worst doctors in our local hospital who is well known for blatantly mistreating and hating queer, disabled and mentally ill folks. My fiancé went in, desperate for help, after he reached the point of not being able to consume a single bite of food without it coming right back up. When explaining his symptoms to the doctor he made the mistake of mentioning that his deteriorating physical health was causing him to experience passing suicidal ideation. This is NOT cause for involuntary admission to the psych ward in any scenario. The doctor turned to him, his face contorted and red with rage and said, and I quote,"Oh so you want to pull the suicide card with me huh? Well I'll just have to lock you up in psych for that." Despite my fiancé explaining that he had no active plans or intentions and was simply experiencing extreme levels of distress and hopelessness due to his inability to eat or drink. When my fiancé inquired about whether or not his stomach issues would be investigated while he was locked up against his will, the doctor expressly said NO, we will not. The doctor left the room briefly and when he returned my fiancé bravely asked if he would follow through with what was an obvious threat and abuse of power (not how he worded it in the moment). The doctor would go on to say,"No, not this time (because legally he had no right to admit him against his will according to Canadian law) but don't you EVER pull the suicide card with me EVER again". This is coming from a medical professional working in an emergency room.

My partner has endured severe mistreatment due to his mental illnesses in our local psych ward and being threatened this way was extremely distressing and left him feeling even more hopeless than he ever did before. The doctor let him go home but did 0 investigation into his issue and all he could do was go home and have a complete mental breakdown. Every single doctor acted like he couldn't possibly have anything but cannibanoid hyperemesis syndrome and forced him to take matters into his own hands.

After barely a week of research my fiancé discovered that 2 of the medications he was taking were WELL DOCUMENTED to cause gastroparesis and not a single doctor looked at his medications or considered that they might be the cause. One of the medications he had been on for over a year and had had no issues with it before this, and additionally he could not come off of it without monitoring from his psychiatrist. However, the second medication he realized he had started taking very close to the time that his symptoms began, it was a tricyclic antidepressant that was prescribed off-label (by a specialist) for migraine prevention and it hadn't been working to stop his migraines for a while, and so out of desperation he consulted with his pharmacist and got the go-ahead to stop taking it to see if it would relieve any of his symptoms.

Low and behold, only 2 DAYS LATER, his symptoms were COMPLETELY resolved. He was able to eat and drink again as if nothing happened. It was no coincidence and it was deadly clear that this medication was the direct cause of his symptoms.

While we felt relief that the fix was so simple in the end, we also found ourselves consumed with anger and grief at the fact that no doctor even suggested that this medication could be the cause, despite it coming up on every list on every website he visited regarding gastroparesis and what can cause it. The ER doctors especially treated him with no dignity or humanity and acted like he was just some insane mentally ill person who was trying to abuse the system.

This piece is obviously a vent regarding this situation and how it felt like we had to literally fight off doctors who saw a mentally ill, disabled and visibly queer addict and decided that he was not worth their time or effort when he came to them with a physical health issue that was slowly killing him.

The Canadian healthcare system is a joke especially for those with mental illnesses and disabilities and if anyone tries to say otherwise they're dead fucking wrong.

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

The rapper Kanye West, who has long since claimed to be called 'Ye', is currently the subject of multiple lawsuits. Now, I don't know what's true and what isn't, but I wanted to draw attention to multiple claims of antisemitism by the rapper, as these are corroborated by Mr. West's own remarks. Furthermore, these allegations reveal the utterly deranged mindset produced by antisemitism.

One former employee claims that Mr. West frequently made antisemitic remarks. Quoting from the lawsuit itself:

“Often, these outbursts involved how Jews controlled the Kardashians. Other times, Ye recounted how Jews were going after him and his money. Those very same days, Ye would incessantly yell at his staff, including Aficionado,” the suit reads. It also alleges that he said: “The Jews are out to get me. They froze my bank account. The Jews got Kim [Kardashian] and my kids.”

Of course, Mr. West was significantly to blame for the breakdown of his former marriage to Ms. Kim Kardashian. According to her divorce filing, Mr. West refused to accept the relationship was over. Mr. West later went on a public and shamefully unpunished rant against Ms. Kardashian's subsequent boyfriend, Pete Davidson. That rant absolutely qualified as incitement to crime and ought to have landed Mr. West in jail for a few days (Ms. Kardashian begged Mr. West in messages not to incite violence), but being a billionaire clearly saved him from any serious consequences.

As far as Mr. West's money is concerned, he sank himself into at least $50 million of debt, as I recall. I believe the true figure was higher. These debts were cleared off by his former wife. His subsequent decline in income was the direct result of not one, but repeated antisemitic remarks, including an endorsement of Adolf Hitler's personal character, coupled with refusals to retract and repent of these remarks. As a result, companies associated with Mr. West cut ties with him in order to avoid damage to their public reputations.

Notice how, if Mr. Aficionado's lawsuit is upheld, Mr. West has taken all of his own faults, his own pathologies, and his clear symptoms of mental illness, and offloaded them onto the Jews. As a result, Mr. West doesn't have to take any personal responsibility whatsoever. He can't act, because 'the Jews' are preventing him from doing so. They have his money. They have his children. They've surrounded him. It's all their fault.

This is how antisemitism works. It is a form of deranged superstition. There's no other form of racism quite like it. There's no other group of people who are as maligned and denigrated as the Jews are. It is an utterly sick, repellent mentality that should be beneath the dignity of any civilised person.

Yes, a significant portion of Mr. West's antisemitic invective may be exacerbated by his mental illness, but even before his bipolar disorder diagnoses was revealed, Mr. West was already known for refusing to accept personal responsibility for his own behaviour and clinging to his irrational beliefs. And antisemitism is the apotheosis of irrationality: isolating the Jews as being the sole cause of all global problems, from financial downfall, to disease, to national humiliation, to even controlling natural events.

Whether Mr. West can be brought to reason is another matter. His so-called "marriage" to Mrs. Bianca Censori appears to be nothing more than a publicity stunt mingled with bloodcurdling sexual exploitation. I doubt Mrs. Censori is a victim here, either, but this entire "relationship" is a sham. I never believed for one minute that Mrs. Censori was a legitimate employee of Mr. West's company, and those suspicions may yet be confirmed by multiple allegations of sexual exploitation made by former employees. Again, I make no judgement on these claims, since I have yet to hear that they have been upheld in court. Mr. West is welcome to countersue and provide his side of the story. But he has not behaved in a way that would suggest any respect for women at all. Or men, for that matter, if Mr. Aficionado's claim that his own discomfort was repeatedly ignored is upheld in court.

What we can do is remain aware to the derangement of antisemitic belief, and not attempt to engage in debate with those espousing such drivel. Here's a marvellous quote from the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, which encapsulates the problem:

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is oblieged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

A perfect summary of Mr. West's collapse into narcissism and bigotry.

[lassieposting]

Literally.

op is american and i am english, but this applies here too. i live in the ass end of nowhere and i, with zero exaggeration, know ten times more about psychiatric conditions than my doctor. I've had to do 100% of the work of trying to figure out wtf is wrong with me, by myself, because the supposed professionals know jack shit about anything other than stereotypically-presenting depression and anxiety.

My county's mental health team, the people supposed to be responsible for ensuring mentally ill folks get the appropriate care and support:

- refused me a psych referral because "[they] don't think [i] need it", despite active suicidal intent, because "it's only depression"

- will not let me see a psych to change a misdiagnosis i got when i was 10 - they say the depression is the root problem, i say it's a symptom of something deeper and more insidious, like cptsd

- have forced me to stay on meds that don't work for me for over a decade, because they will not sign off on changing it. i consider this time "lost years" that i will never get back, because of their negligence and failure in their duty of care

- did not know complex ptsd was any different from normal ptsd, scoffed at the concept

- have allowed patient-clinician relations to deteriorate to the point that i have now had it noted on my file that i am not to be referred to them at any point in the future, for anything, no matter the circumstances. i would rather white-knuckle through panic attacks and suicidal thoughts unmedicated and alone than deal with these incompetent, ignorant people and their so-called "help" one more time. i still get referred back to them because there's nowhere else to send me, and i will no longer pick up their calls.

- discharged me from their shitty basic counselling service for "people who are a little sad, sometimes" while i was literally mid-breakdown because my life was falling apart, because "you've had your six sessions" and "you must be feeling better by now"

And my GP, the first point of call for any medical shit who should have a working knowledge of all kinds of conditions and illnesses:

- had no idea depression could be treatment-resistant, insisted i was lying about no medication having worked for me

- refused to diagnose me with pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder (pmdd) despite pages of evidence i brought in (that he refused to read) and my fitting every. single. symptom, because, and i quote, "all women are foul on their period"

- responded to being told that i was having intense suicidal intrusive thoughts with a shrug and a "you've been depressed for years, if you were going to do it you'd have done it already"

The medical system is fucked and does not deserve an iota of our trust. I won't even go to the doctor for a sprained ankle these days, let alone a mental health collapse. all they have ever given me is condescencion, dismissiveness, disrespect and gaslighting. If you have serious mental health problems or unusual conditions, your ass is On Your Own. the medical system is not there to help you.

one of craziest things about the mental health industry is that while getting their education, counselors and psychiatrists spend about two minutes learning about the "rarer" psychiatric conditions, such as schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. the justification behind not studying it is because so few people experience these conditions, and that mental health professionals who want to treat them have to specialize in them.

this is a problem because whether we like to believe it or not, mental health professionals are looking to make money, and there's not a lot of money in targeting a specific part of the population. additionally, people in rural or even a number of urban areas do not have access to specialist who need it. it's just like with any rare health diagnosis, unless you live in a a super densely populated area with a lot of resources, you're not going to get the help you need.

i can confirm this as someone who knows many mental health professionals, and they've been transparent for their lack of education (one even told me that they spent literally an hour in school learning about DID). i've never had the opportunity to meet with someone who specializes in my diagnosis (schizophrenia) due to where i live. and even if i did, i wouldn't have the money. specialists often do not cater to even the most basic insurance like medicaid or medicare, and the reality is that most people with rare mental diagnoses do not have the funds to pursue the help they need.

the point of this post is to bring awareness to some of the struggles that people with rarer psychiatric diagnoses face. we are quite frankly fucked over by the system, and moreover capitalism. please keep this in mind before judging us for "not seeking help" or telling us to "get therapy." we already have so much going against us, and face so much stigma.

[girldraki]

We Have A Canon URL Actually Masterpost

we are very annoying on here about the “alto clef multiple personalities” thing but we want you all to know we are discussing something that legitimately exists on mainsite, even if its presence consists of quite literally three tales and a bag of corn chips. details under the cut, including a bunch of direct pull quotes

preliminary notes:

if you don’t know what a system means in this context, it’s a word for “multiple people in one body“, best known in the context of dissociative identity disorder/did or formerly multiple personality disorder; a short explanation including most relevant terms we’ll be using can be found here

did specifically, since it’s relevant to clef’s plurality per the wiki and isn’t explained in detail in the last link, is a form of systemhood associated with trauma that involves maladaptive dissociative symptoms including amnesia (aka time loss) and depersonalization/derealization (dp/dr)

none of these are exactly unilaterally “good rep“, tbh, but they’re on the wiki and are therefore some degree of “official” canon

scp-4231

most popular of the tales to do this by far

portrayed with did: • francis is shown or described as experiencing dp/dr with increasing intensity throughout the skip (notably in the “december 2nd, 1998” and “document scp-4231-2-a” segments). • -b is verbally described in “the curious case of scp-4231-b” segment as having an unspecified dissociative condition. • their non-dpdr symptoms (switching, time loss as seen in the “greyhound” segment) imply a did diagnosis

The breakdown is fast and complete. He sits on the floor of the phone booth at a dingy greyhound station and sobs through a mixture of panic and grief, and then just like that the announcement for the next bus comes over the intercom and he switches back from one person to another. 

[...]

Francis stops crying so abruptly it hurts. Agent Ukulele stands. It's a moment that his brain blacks out of his memory. He walks out of the phone booth more bored than anything...

questionable/unclear intent regarding the delineation between clef and francis specifically in some places:

Certain traits about B become more solidified as time goes on, when he goes about adapting an entirely different personality to combat the trauma; the new B is eccentric, flamboyant, even bordering on inflammatory towards others. The deep mental distress and accompanying physical illness that keeps him bedridden in the two weeks immediately following his extraction from SCP-4231 disappear. The new B knows nothing, or, at least, appears to know very little about what has transpired to put him in this situation. He no longer inquiries about the child, or about A, or the town of North Access where he has lived all his life. The signs of body dysphoria stemming from the Montauk Procedure are either gone or deeply hidden.

vs (both from “the curious case of scp-4231-b”)

His radical transformation into a new personality appears to be less of a worsening of his dissociative condition and more of a transition into a being so blatantly disrespectful and infuriating that staff interaction results in only frustration.

classical revival

the earliest tale(s) to make clef a system and apparent inception of francis as a character in general, published in 2012

portrayed with apparent/functional did explained in-universe through the application of “outdated soviet combat conditioning memetics” to create constructed personas

• Francis Wojciechoski - b. 1967 - A graduate student who always seems to get the short end of the stick. A lover of music in all its forms: can play alto saxophone and ukulele. A reality-bender.

• Agent Ukulele – A constructed personality designed to both use and limit Francis’ powers. Essentially a cartoon character with limited characterization, used to destroy or subdue incredibly powerful entities.

• Alto Clef – A secondary constructed personality, designed to allow Francis to operate as a normal human being. Currently a field agent of the GOC.

despite the fantasy framing, this (kind of bizarrely) does seem to be an attempt to specifically portray did; clef is depicted having a severe dp/dr episode during upswing of disorder:

Clef sliced a man’s throat open with a razor, and subsequently came to the realization that he had no idea why he had a straight razor in the first place, or how he was still moving. Some part of him was dimly aware that there was significantly more lead and significantly less blood in his body than there normally was, and that this was a bad thing. His body was retreating, but this seemed to be a lot less important than observing all the pretty patterns on the floor and walls. The brief moment of realization faded away into the background. He was somewhere else, somewhere far away, watching the scene acted out around him from some mental Laz-E-Boy. Just faces on a screen. Like a movie. Like a cartoon.

“Holy shit! Did you see that guy? Just went and offed himself! I mean, my breath isn’t that bad!”

The commentary seemed just as natural as the violence on the screen. It passed in a blur, the voice taunting and cheering and jeering and laughing, the bodies dropping to the floor, the splashes of red. The world blurred together with runny watercolors.

the great site-87 bake sale (s&c plastics canon)

microaggression tbh

described as having “[reality bender status induced, secondary] psychosis”; practically speaking based on how they’re handled, seems to be mislabeled plurality?

Francis- or something very much like him- [...] Francis- or rather, the thing that looked like him- [...] Francis— no, Clef...

rep is kind of muddled because the author is visibly not doing this on purpose

Weiss, for her part, produced a syringe from her pocket, grabbed Clef by the shoulder, and jammed the needle into the largest vein she could find. The plunger went down, and a reality-restoring drug entered his bloodstream.

Francis Wojciechoski dropped his ukulele and hat, rubbing his shoulder and neck. "…couldn't you have done that earlier?"

[makerofmadness]

Told ya I'm back to making incorrect fnaf quotes

Tagging @umbrarkzoo 'cus I know they like these dndnndnd

Golden Freddy: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.  Golden Freddy: It's me.

-

Puppet: So... what’s goin’ on?  Golden Freddy: You want the long version or the short version?  Puppet, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?  Golden Freddy: Shit’s fucked.  Puppet: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

-

Freddy, about William Afton: He's covered in blood again. Why is it that he's always covered in blood?  Chica: Well, it looks like it's his own blood this time.

-

Toy Freddy: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.  Toy Chica: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

-

Freddy: What do we think of Foxy?  *pause*  Bonnie: *sighs* Nice pal.  Chica: I think he's gay. 

-

Daycare Attendant: Gregory, can I ask you a question?  Gregory: Sure, anything.  Daycare Attendant: Why don't you go back to your own house and leave us alone?

-

William Afton: I wish I had more enemies.  Henry Emily: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

-

Michael Afton: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!  Ennard: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!  -

Toy Bonnie: Look, Mr. Night Guard, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and it's Monday.

(Jeremy's had enough already-)

-

Michael Afton: And now for a gay update with Fritz and Jeremy.  Fritz Smith: Getting gayer.  Michael Afton: Thank you, Fritz.

-

(pre-Springlocking)

William Afton: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real.

-

Jeremy Fitzgerald (about Mangle): It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged. 

-

Roxy: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.  Monty: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

-

Henry Emily: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.  Michael Afton: Actually, Mr. Emily, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

-

William Afton: How was your day, Michael?  Michael Afton: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.  William Afton: Oh? And what does that mean?  Michael Afton: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.

-

Michael Afton: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

-

Toy Freddy: Hey, do you know the password to the night guard’s computer?  Toy Bonnie: Fuck you, Freddy. Toy Freddy: Hey!!  Toy Bonnie: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyoufreddy." Toy Freddy: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe. 

-

Balloon Boy: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.

-

Elizabeth Afton: Look, daddy! It's the good Kush!  William Afton: It's the dollar store, how good can it be?

-

Jeremy Fitzgerald: I know we’re not exactly friends, but-  Puppet: What do you want?  Jeremy Fitzgerald: I've been stuck with Fritz for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.  Jeremy Fitzgerald: Help.

-

Michael Afton: You can take away my rights, but can you take away my lefts?

-

Happy Frog, upon learning how Orville did a magic trick: So you’re not magic?  Orville: Well, not really.  Happy Frog: You’re just a liar.

-

Sun: You disgust me.  Gregory: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

[noodledragonsoop]

These are all so sad…sending hugs for everybody who’d like them.

Hi, I’m Argo and when I was 16 I had a complete mental breakdown after having dealt with major OCD symptoms without saying anything for about 5+ years. That’s not the story, though, no need to delve into that.

Anywho, started therapy and got diagnosed almost immediately, which was nice, and my therapist kindly pointed out that insurance could possibly help with the costs, all we’d need to do is a Zoom interview with some social worker at the company to ‘prove I needed it.’ No biggie.

On the Zoom call, I have to explain the deal to this social worker, how I have these awful thoughts that I don’t want or think of myself, that bring me great guilt, and that I would never even imagine doing.

She gets all horrified by what I’m saying, says (these are direct quotes, by the way) that I’m “clearly mentally unstable” and “a danger to [my]self and others.” I apparently needed to “turn [my]self in at the ER within an hour for intensive psychoanalysis and possibly brain scans.”

Like, ma’am. I just plain as day explained that this is OCD, I have a diagnosis.

Anywho, she ended by ever-so-kindly letting us know that if we didn’t, she’d have to call CPS/the police to my home.

So we immediately end the call, my mom and I, and wait until an hour later, the police show up. They’re very understanding and it helped that I’m comfortable around police because I know lots of people in the field. My mom explained the whole thing and they just had to ask me a few questions in private to ensure I was not, in fact, gonna hurt anybody or myself.

A month later, my mom convinced me to try again and I kept my explanations much more reserved. The new person tried telling me that there was nothing wrong for me and I was wasting her time.

But I went to therapy anyway, I’m managing and living life happily in that aspect now!

Oh, and I brought lemon drops. :D

Open tags

starting a candy salad because i’m bored

so for anyone who doesn’t know how this works, basically, say your name, trauma dump, and tell us what candy you brought!

i’m liggy and one time i accidentally came out as ace to my family at lunch when we were at our cabin, and everyone besides my closeted aroace brother looked at me like i was a psychopath and i explained slightly and was told by my mom it was “just normal teenage girl things.” and i don’t think my mom remembers it because no one’s brought it up and they refer to me defending queer people as “sticking up for my friends” instead of myself and i refuse to come out to my mom now.

anyway i brought the christmas nerds gummy clusters

@garden-of-runar @jamespotterbbg @eef--stars @wistfulenchantress @crowleys-mortalcounterpart +open tag

[fearofahumanplanet]

Hi I'm the anon from https://at.tumblr.com/askaborderline/hey-looking-for-supportadvice-i-am-terrified/tlz1qbnadpq0

Could you elaborate more on what you said about it sounding like NPD?

Oh, hey!

Okay, well first off, said before but I'm going to reiterate here: I CANNOT and will not diagnose you, I am not a doctor, please just use this as a sort of guideline and general observations and please look into it yourself if you think this is something you may suffer from. (Just be careful - most medical sources are incredibly ableist and hateful towards NPD, it is possibly the most stigmatized mental disorder I can think of).

(Second off, I'm going to use the actual NPD diagnostic criteria as much as I can, but it's incredibly ableist and only focuses on outward behaviors and none of the internal feelings, so a lot of this will have to be anecdotal from experiences from me and many other people I've met w/ NPD)

"I am terrified that I'm going to slip up and not be perfect when I'm around others" This was the first thing that really got me, this is not actually an inherent BPD symptom by any means, this is actually the crux of NPD - the diagnostic criteria doesn't mention it, just goes on and on about "arrogance" or whatever, but I really desperately think it needs official re-definition, bc every person w/ NPD I've met (including myself) is struck with a constant, debilitating, endless need to be perfect and never be seen failing to anyone around them - it's really hard to live with, but yeah, that's what first made me think. I also get a lot of general paranoia and anxiety about it even when I'm not around others.

"when I accidentally seem like I'm not perfect I enter this horrible cycle of self-hate and I keep splitting on people after like "oh they're doing good things/is really good straight" to "they're not worth my effort" especially when I'm the one who slips up even though I need to be the one to be perfect" and this to me sounds like what a lot of us call a "narc crash" - in which you essentially are forced to confront the reality that you aren't perfect and/or you're running low on "supply" (admiration), and as such you tend to go through a lot of cognitive dissonance that leads to breakdowns and (often) anger at others or a need to withdraw or engage in reckless behaviors.

"I just have a general apathy towards being friends with anyone," This is another common thing I experience in social relationships and a lot of people w/ NPD do, to quote the diagnostic criteria "lacking empathy". We also tend to see relationships as rather transactional, often have "chosen people" that tend to get close more because of them being good sources of supply rather than because there's an emotional connection. (This is not a condemnation. People w/ low empathy can actively choose to still be kind and maintain relationships. It just hardly comes innately, in my experience. It definitely feels like work to me, it's just work I choose to put in).

"It's like I keep getting a high especially when complimented or validated (and this has caused me to attach and I have a new fp now and it's happened a LOT)" To quote the diagnostic criteria again, "requires excess admiration". (That supply I talked about). This is exactly how I experience receiving supply, it feels like a drug to me and can essentially keep me living. Without it, I quite literally do want to die - it's pretty wretched. BPD & NPD are also pretty common co-morbidities, so that early admiration often causes one to develop a FP and... yeah. There's also this thing that NPD circles usually call "relationship burnout", and this is definitely something I also experience, in which you essentially find it very hard to maintain relationships, because after the initial beginning stage of knowing someone new, I pretty much usually get bored of them and the apathy comes back anew.

"then a crash when I get insulted or I fuck up etc. (This causes splitting as well) and it's such extreme emotions that it's hard to manage" I point up to the narc crash again, bc this is exactly how it happens to me a lot of the time and when you have a BPD comorbid involved the emotions are even more intense.

So like I said, do not take this as diagnosis, I'm not a doctor, but I really do think it might be good for you to look into it and get a clearer idea of what's going on in your head, bc reading your ask really just felt like reading about an NPD experience, I thought I somehow ended up on the wrong blog.

I hope that clears some things up and I wish the best for you :)

[life-rewritten]

TRUE BEAUTY; TRUE SCARS VS FALSE MASKS

I'm actually surprised I have a new Korean drama to fall for before the end of the year. After testing out what's available, True Beauty feels like the one for me. I was going to watch it regardless of if it made me analyse because it's directed by Extraordinary You PD. I love how he shows the plot of his shows, his romances are always soft yet angsty, and they make you feel so many emotions whilst laughing and smiling and perhaps swooning over certain second leads and protagonists. After Start-Up I swore of love triangles, and yet True Beauty comes with just that, yet I'm having so much fun watching this show for the past 3 weeks, and it's been a ride. It's precisely what the title says it's focused on True Beauty. The actual meaning of beauty and perspectives on what is truly beautiful and what's not, the psychological trauma of being someone perceived as not socially pleasing to the world, and being forced to hide to survive the harsh environment. It's an emotional look into another teenage drama, full of angst, romance, self-love, and self-acceptance. I'm enjoying it a lot, and my heart has been tugged at each episode, so I'm not saying True Beauty is my full focus, but I have spoken about it here, and from episode 5 and 6, I somehow have a lot to say.  So let's get into it

True Scars vs False Masks

True Beauty episode 5 and 6 focus on the effect of PTSD and trauma symptoms which each of our main characters have to go through. Apart from Seojun, who has his own frustrations and pains connected to the overarching plot, but not as pronounced as these three.

Kyung, Suho and Soojin are triggered by certain parts of their memories, making them afraid, broken down, and self-hating. The first thing to mention when focusing on Kyung's ideology of true beauty. Kyung may think that being seen as beautiful is the only way to make her self survive her own past traumas, but the two perceived beautiful people who are praised and known for having everything by their peers,  are just as scared, suffering and hurt by the world as she is. All by the cruelty and insensitiveness of different people in their lives.

Ju Kyung: The mask of Beauty

Kyung is forced to relieve yet again her trauma as a bully victim when she bumps into the girl. The very bully that caused her to finally break down and wear her mask for protection. One thing to notice in episode 5/6  as she takes care of Seojuns sister; she realised that wearing a mask isn't the right way to live comfortably and she questions why she can't have the same confidence and inspiration in her self to be brave.  Which is what people would quickly want to say about her situation, just love your self, only trust your self, just be your self. Still, as we've seen from the past episodes, the reason is that when her mask is uncovered, and she's her true self, her past comes to find her and the people who cruelly lowered her down to nothing before their eyes, who proceeded to hurt and abuse her because of how she looks. The girl who likes to emotionally have control over Kyung's self-esteem like a leash she can't escape from,  people like her that can't stand to see Kyung be happy with her skin,  is why it's even more painful when Suho tells her that he's doing all he does for her as pity it's heart-breaking. It makes her feel even more inferior because she's being a burden to the guy, she's come to have feelings for, and it's still because of her looks in a way. Because he's the first person who knows her real face under her mask of makeup.

It’s not just the bullies that do this to her, that make her feel so ashamed and guilty for wanting to just be her self. People who she’s close to, her ex best friend betrayed her because of this issue, (to avoid being bullied) and her mother is harsh and cruel beyond words, always breaking her self esteem, ignoring her child’s plight when she could actually be of help to her, and mocking her every time just cause she isn’t smart. Her mother proceeds to not understand the real trauma in her daughter’s life, not even knowing or taking it seriously that there was a time where Kyung almost gave up everything and took her life, just because of how exhausted she was by what society was making her think about her true self. 

When Suho said that I was so agitated and disappointed. When cruel and forced to wear his own mask of coldness, Suho can be harsh and ruthless. However, it still felt problematic to me because he knows how sensitive Kyung is about her looks, how much she suffered because of it, he's the one who saw her almost choose to take her own life because of it and he's also seen her try desperate attempts to avoid it. To cruelly say it's because of pity that he's been doing all he did by her side and she's being a bother; it's upsetting and just annoying. I'm annoyed that he still refuses to communicate with her properly about it, tell her it's not because of pity and she's not a problem.

To come to her house/ accept her mother's invitation and act like he's not told her she's a burden is just upsetting and it's exhausting because she doesn't want to keep on feeling like she owes him because he's hiding her secret about her looks. It's also sad because you realise that it must have broken her heart more because when she felt she had someone on her team who saw her without her mask and chose to be there for her, help her and understand her, this same person threw her away saying she was a weight to him. When she finally felt she was able to be herself and like her self without her mask, she deserved to be free without making up, especially his last words to her before he switched himself off, was that she was beautiful without makeup. That one quote, that one stance, and one act of support for her meant everything. Yet her one source of defence and her foundation to bounce back from her worries and fears rejected her and told her she wasn't important; her presence was upsetting him.

Again Kyung is forced to think that what she needs to do to survive is to be beautiful to wear her mask; it's the only way she will be accepted. That's what Suho harsh words did to her, and despite that, she still ran to him to be his defence and protection. They both do the same thing for each other; if you notice Suho protects her always when she's at her worst broken down and without her mask of beauty. Suho is protected by her finding him and literally shielding him with her warmth and comfort letting him know he's not alone and he's understood.

Suho: The mask of Coldness

Before I focus on their dynamic though back to masks and scars. The reason why Kyung runs to Suho is where the plot for his PTSD symptoms comes in. Suho without the act is also broken, guilty and tired of people refusing to listen to him. His issue is that whilst people see his richness and privileges as a positive for him, they're his source of guilt and pain. His mask is to push people off and not expect or trust things with people, because of this he's seen as the guy who's unreachable in a good way, attractive and has it all and everyone wants his attention and needs to beg for it. His mask works for him, so he doesn't seem vulnerable, and he doesn't let people easily break him.

But we know he's exceptionally vulnerable because of the guilt of Seyeon having symptoms of PTSD, panic attacks, broken and self-hating. The cruelness of the world isn't attacking him like Kyung, but it's using him as a tool to hurt others well that's what he believes anyway. His dad is powerful and intense and leads to people feeling broken as Seyeon, and they take drastic measures to end it. The school praises him and lets him get away with stuff if he gets in a scuffle but they hurt others more harshly just by looking at their background and status, they did this to Seojun when they got in a fight in episode 4.

No matter what happened, Suho has never been able to get away from the price that came with his reputation and status. It cost him so much at the end it made him lose his closest friend, and it made him lose himself to the guilt of not being able to be the person everyone wanted him to be for not being able to reach that 'divine'' Suho reputation people give him.

For him, being with him hurts people, and so he pushes Kyung away harshly and wears a mask of coldness and harshness to prevent people wanting or expecting things from him and to make sure he wallows in his guilt alone. Without his mask, Suho is just a boy lost, frightened and traumatised. He's broken by what's happened, and with Kyung not only does she help him, but she also does when they first meet.

 She unintentionally provides him with a way to speak out his feelings and save her the way he couldn't do to his friend, but also she's there for him even during times she shouldn't be; she runs and finds him, she lets him cry and breakdown, and she understands him with a few words. She knows what it's like to be afraid and broken, and she knows why it's like to feel like no one understands your pain.

Both she and Suho understand each other because they've been hurt and exhausted each time something from the past comes to remind them of the guilt of being who they are and wallowing in self-hate and disgust. It's so heartbreaking, but they both run to each other time and time again at their most needed moment.

Soo Jin: The mask of Strength

Someone else with the same issues that also proves to Kyung that the beauty she craves/ the reputation to be seen as having it all isn't great; is Soo Jin. Whilst on the surface she’s incredible, she’s powerful, fights for everyone, protects Kyung like a knight in shining armour, is protective of all her friends, uses her strengths to help others, and ensure people aren’t looked down on, or broken down. 

Soo-Jin is also put into the same situation as Kyung and Suho, she's also broken down mentally, physically and emotionally. She's had her self esteem be destroyed repeatedly; for never getting to the top except she is always on top. She's the girl who has everything, like Suho her mask is the girl who has everything sorted, she's kind but harsh to the right people, she's protective because she doesn't like bullies and cruelty. She's intelligent and also beautiful naturally as Kyung puts it.

Still, her mask of strength is unveiled when you realise she's forced to put up with a bigger bully her own father, he's cruel, abusive and degrades her by physical violence. It's heart-breaking. To have the control, she repeatedly tries to wash her hands clean to the point they're raw and dry when she stressed and terrified. When she's broken and scared, she tries to restart again, washes her hands clean and starts again making her self anew, making her mind anew, and becoming stronger. 

Her washing her hands mindlessly is the only time we see her without her mask, and no one can see her scars on the apparent parts they're hidden on her hands dry and cracked and easily misunderstood as dryness or mistake. Easily the part of the body that's not noticed at first.

Cruelty, Scars and Trauma

That's the thing with scars in this show and PTSD.  Kyung's mask covers up the acne scars that people have hurt her because of.  Yet now those scars are actively hidden under her makeup and guise of beauty, she has those external scars but also mental scars about how she looks she's been forced to a mindset where seeing her self in the mirror automatically gives her shivers, makes her terrified and go into self-hating phase. She's been forced to hide who she truly is because that was taken away from her by bullies because of her looks.' it just sucks and hurts.

Suho's mask covers his internal scars and burdens placed on him, you won't think he's broken or hurting from his past because his mask of coldness which makes everyone think he uses the status and reputation for his strength instead of loathing it. Suho's internal scars have made him become someone who's closed off, distrustful and harsh sometimes and no one understands it, they take it the wrong way, staying away from him. For example Seojun it's Suho's mask that made him think Suho was despicable and felt guiltless when in reality every single word SeoJun said to Suho about wanting him to never be happy until after he dies, about making sure he never has a good time because of Seoyeon just drives deeper with that self-hate. Disgust, Suho has for himself; it's like Seojun keeps repeatedly stabbing his wounds all over again. When he appears the issues increase even more if you've noticed, Suho's symptoms of PTSD increased because Seojun had started to actively make him go back to feeling guilty and remind him of the choice he made to push people away. Seojun playing a role in this is so upsetting, and it's made it hard for me to like his character as much as I did before.

The masks may cover up their scars in their minds and to others, but it won't make them free the way they want to be. These characters break my heart and have been through so much.

I'm loving this show. I think it gets better and more painful each episode, but it has the light moments, it touches your heart, and it makes you smile and cry so much. The romance between Suho and Kyung is also precious despite certain pauses in their growth because of their masks and miscommunications. However, the fact that they're each other's refuge to be free without their masks, to breath and to see each other the way others can't it's beautiful. Seojun's feelings for Kyung are also growing. I'm torn because I like his moments so much but thinking about emotional torment and pain he causes Suho, especially in these episodes isn't my cup of tea. Kyung sees him as a sibling right now, and I wonder if that's all she's ever goanna accept him as I actually want him and Soojin to be together at the end and Soojin is slowly getting into her role of second lead for Suho. I hope they don't use her hurt as a way to make her a villain. That's be sick if she breaks down because Suho likes Kyung not her like no let's avoid this storyline.

[onefite]

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown

10 Common Symptoms of a Mental Breakdown Introduction Feeling overwhelmed or having a tough time coping? You’re not alone. Many of us go through periods where it feels like the world is crashing down around us. This state often signals a mental breakdown, a term that describes a period of intense mental distress. During this time, managing day-to-day tasks can feel impossible. By understanding…

[stellar-lune]

She-Ra Incorrect Quotes (List)

Feel free to use these for anything!

-

Sea Hawk: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

-

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.

Frosta: I choose to waive that right!

Frosta: *screaming*

-

Mermista: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.

-

Adora: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

-

Adora: I would never say that my girlfriend is a bitch and I don’t like her. That’s not true… Catra is a bitch and I like her so much!

-

Bow: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

-

Entrapta: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

-

Catra: So you like cats?

Adora: Yeah.

Catra: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

-

Bow: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Adora: Mine just says "Adora no."

Bow: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

-

Entrapta: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?

Double Trouble: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.

-

Angella: Why are you like this??

Shadow Weaver: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

-

Kidnapper: We have your child

Mermista: I don’t have a child?

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

Mermista: Oh god, you have Sea Hawk.

-

Double Trouble: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.

Mermista: Being a fish.

Double Trouble: Well, shit.

-

Scorpia: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!

Catra: That doesn't exist.

Scorpia: Not with that attitude.

-

Shadow Weaver: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Adora: Those are wanted posters!

-

Spinnerella: Netossa annoyed me today, so I told her that I can’t wait to see what she has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Glimmer: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Spinnerella: But there is something special about watching the color leave her face as panic takes over.

-

Adora: Scorpia-

Scorpia: *sighs* Catra used to call me Scorpia...

Adora: ...Because it's your fucking name.

-

Sea Hawk: I need to dye my hair.

Mermista: ...

Sea Hawk: Or get another tattoo.

Mermista: ...

Sea Hawk: Or a new piercing.

Mermista: Why?

Sea Hawk: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

[asocial-inkblot]

"I don't understand why people think Azula has schizophrenia." Because it is the only way to explain the symptoms of comics!Azula's mental illness & her resulting behavior. For I personally thought she had a stress induced nervous breakdown before reading the comics, which are sadly canon no matter how much we complain about it until Bryke say otherwise.

You're completely right, Anon. There is no evidence in the original series that Azula's behavior near the end of the series was caused by a schizo-type illness (there are multiple). We saw, at most, one psychotic episode over a prolonged period of days to weeks. The pages of the comics don't even deserve to wipe someone's butt, and took the events from a few episodes during an intensely nerve-wracking period for Azula, to mean that she's cuckoo-loco Lady Macmeth. If these so-called fans really want to armchair diagnose her that badly, they should at least pay attention to the flaws we actually see her have throughout the series. In no particular order:

1. Perfectionism: This can be a symptom of OCD and low self-esteem.

2. Lack of directness with those closest to her when wanting something from them: This can be caused by a hidden anxiety around direct conflict or a desperate desire to acquire a necessity, but not wanting to come across as overly demanding because you were taught to never ask for or expect anything.

3. Going above and beyond for a family member you don't owe jack to, all things considered: This can be caused by a sense of unquestioning obligation to your family because you're hopelessly attached to them in some way, or think one of them in particular may eventually come to appreciate you if you give that person everything he/she has ever wanted on a golden plate and don't even ask for a coin back.

4. Admitting one of your deepest insecurities and agreeing with the idea that you may have been unworthy of love even from one of the few people who should have loved you unconditionally, in front of peers who aren't even trying to sympathize with each other or you: A sign of abandonment trauma and seriously wanting someone to converse with about your hardships but knowing at your core, or believing, that you have no one, or just not wanting to come across as weak because you've been conditioned to try and avoid feeling or letting your emotions control you, by your family, culture, society, etc.

5. Smiling when something terrible happens to a sibling or "mocking" them while warning that their life is in danger: Easily due to being young/mentally underdeveloped and not fully aware enough of your surroundings and circumstances yet to understand the severity of the situations. It could also be that the child has put on a front to defend itself from harm by proxy even when clearly alert and afraid, and maybe has convinced him/herself that this is how s/he truly feels or should feel. (Or two very biased people are imagining her doing some things she didn't quite do.)

6. Killing someone during battle as soon as the opportunity presented itself without a second thought: A sign that a child soldier has been so perfectly groomed for war, to the point that killing a (power-charging) enemy and watching their lifeless body fall to the ground, is seen as just another day in their life and not something to consider for long. (It should also be noted that she was defending herself and her brother and fulfilling her nation's most yearned for wish, and that the enemies (who just so happen to be mains) she (and Zuko) were fighting, were fighting hard. It was Aang or her.)

Btw I didn't make that original comment/quote, but I did agree with it and the rest of that post.

[theflannelwizard]

Miss Simian teaches the Special Accommodations class

First off, I would like to say that I am neurodivergent, and most of these headcanons are based off my own experiences. If I do accidentally phrase something in a way that offends you, please let me know so I can fix it! Thanks to @onceuponymous to chatting with me about this before I posted it! I will also say that TAWOG is my current hyper fixation, so this might end up being a rather long post! I’ll try to use bold and italics so my fellow neurodivergent fans have an easier time reading it if they want to :)

I think Miss Simian’s class is full of the neurodivergent kids in Elmore Jr. High. This would explain why Darwin and Gumball are in the same class, despite being two years apart in age, and why they are so blind to the rest of the school. They have their routine and their class, and they are purposefully on a separate schedule than the other students. This would also explain why Gumball and Darwin are so frequently sent to the guidance counselor for their outbursts instead of to the principal.

Almost all if not all of the students in her class exhibit common symptoms of neurodivergence, including (but not limited to) having trouble communicating, hyper fixating or having special interests, masking or feeling like the world won't like, understand, or accept them if they don’t put on a persona, fidgeting or stimming, having trouble with focus, expressing emotion intensely or in unique ways, and either adhering to a strict schedule or behaving impulsively.

Let’s start with trouble communicating. This is an obvious and easy one- almost none of Gumball’s classmates communicate in a neurotypical fashion. Juke and William have extreme trouble communicating verbally, and although Juke realizes this, he keeps trying but is unable to “switch” himself to an easily understood language. William doesn’t even realize he is unheard until Gumball declares he is silent.  Banana Joe, Bobert, Sussie, and Jamie all speak in special dialects or patterns that are understandable but set them apart from what would be considered “normal.” Jamie’s is the least obvious, but I would argue that her reliance on threats, often delivered using the same formula, is a unique speech pattern that could have developed in part due to her parentage/home life and in part due to trouble communicating. Gumball has no problem with speaking in an understandable way, but he does have trouble expressing his emotions- he either locks them down or goes over the top with grand declarations and gestures. Likewise, Darwin is able to express himself rather clearly, but he canonically has trouble “learning facial expressions” and is often blind to sarcasm and manipulation, as are many of his classmates. Some students are on the end of the spectrum where they may not have trouble speaking, but they do have trouble reading social cues. For example, Molly is eager to talk to her friends, but can’t always tell whether they are engaged with her stories and doesn’t know when to stop talking. Sarah doesn’t have a clear understanding of boundaries, and neither do Tobias, Sussie, Banana Joe, Teri, Tina, Clayton, Ocho, Gumball, or Alan (despite having good intentions, he often fails to set boundaries for himself, and that’s just as important to notice as those who intrude or don’t understand boundaries for others). In fact, I would argue the entire class has, at some point, shown that they have trouble setting or anticipating healthy boundaries. Once boundaries have been clearly set, they usually are able and willing to respect them, but they can’t always tell on their own what another person is okay with.

Now for hyper fixations and special interests. I would say Teri is one of the most obvious here, with her extensive knowledge of germs and cleanliness. She’s more than just a germaphobe, she has studied hygiene and is obsessive to a point of rarely talking about anything else. Alan could likely be fixated on activism or the general concept of goodness, working overtime to make himself into the most helpful and positive person he can be. Sarah’s fangirl persona goes hand in hand with a fixation on comics, anime, and/or manga. I would even say Carrie’s intense dedication to goth/emo culture could be considered a special interest, and Leslie has a similar relationship to fashion, beauty, and the (heavily coded) LGBT community. Tobias’ obsession with video games has canonically gotten so intense that he neglected basic needs such as sleep- a classic example of hyper fixation. 

As far as masking and persona goes, many of the points I’m about to make could be seen as simple stereotyping to make the characters distinct. I choose to interpret it differently. Gumball, Penny, Tobias, Carrie, Masami, Tina, Clayton, and Ocho have all had arcs or significant moments where they were either revealed to have interests or personality traits that were in direct contrast with their outward persona or revealed to think people wouldn’t like “the real them” as much as the act they put on. For example, Penny was terrified to come out of her shell, Tina doesn’t intend to be a bully but comes off as one due to her menacing mask (for self protection, perhaps, so she doesn’t get bullied herself?), and Ocho admits he has trust issues due to being used for his uncles and not respected unless he puts on an intense and aggressive front. Other students build their identities around a single aspect of themself, either something that they find important or something that they expect will be liked or respected. Tobias, Leslie, Carrie, Alan, Jamie, Tina, Idaho, Sarah, Bobert, Banana Joe, and Masami fall easily into stereotypes and seem to be glad to do so. Clayton goes so far as to commit identity theft simply so no one will see his true self and dislike him. Clayton’s compulsive lying is also a symptom of ADHD.

I’m not going to write a whole paragraph on fidgeting/stimming and focus, because I don’t think there’s too much to analyze or dissect there, but if you go back and watch any episode, you’ll likely notice that many of the characters are easily distracted and/or have unique body movements, postures, or phrases that they tend to repeat. I also think impulsivity and routine is so important to the plot that it doesn’t need to be discussed, but was worth a brief mention.

Let’s talk about emotions! Gumball has the classic neurodivergent experience of either bottling up his emotions with no idea how to express them or going over the top with grand declarations and gestures. He feels things very intensely, as shown by his often dramatic reactions, but isn’t always sure how to process or express them. Darwin is always on one extreme of that scale, with no filter as to how he expresses and feels things. He is unafraid to cry in public, declare that something makes him feel good or bad, or say very bluntly what needs to be done to make him feel better (eg declaring he responds well to positive reinforcement- that sounds like therapist or guidance counselor language to me! Good job, Darwin! I wish I was as clear as you!). Likewise, Penny is prone to meltdowns after she breaks out of her shell, and she is so intensely emotional that she messes up her (likely well-rehearsed) cheer tryout due to being rejected by Gumball, and her physical form changes based on emotion. Banana Joe, Carrie, Masami, Sarah, arguably Anton, Carmen, Teri, Tina, Hector, and Sussie also express their intense emotions in big and obvious ways. Some examples include Masami’s meltdown in The Storm, Teri’s tendency to faint or cry, Carmen’s outburst (possibly a meltdown or breakdown) at her old school, and Tina’s tendency to use violence and anger as a first response when upset, even in “small” ways. (Note- I put small in quotes because something like being told it’s a waste of time to get piano lessons might not feel small to her, and could indeed warrant chasing and attacking Gumball.) On the other side of the scale, we have characters like Alan, Idaho, Bobert, Molly, Leslie, and Hector (again, as he behaves differently with or without his music box), who are capable of being dramatic or expressing emotion, but won’t acknowledge their feelings directly and might even be perceived as not having (many) emotions. For instance, Bobert is often referred to as not having emotions or not being a real person, a harmful stereotype against autistic folks, which is increased by the fact that he is a robot, which autistic folks are sometimes unfairly compared to. Alan is seemingly incapable of feeling negative emotions, to the point where his loss of hope wrecks Elmore, implying that he has a mental or emotional block from feeling and expressing these emotions. Molly references her “special dark place,” implying that she does get emotionally or sensorially overwhelmed, but has no way to express her needs (or lacks the confidence to do so) and would rather remove herself from a situation. Leslie is the most dramatic of the characters with emotional blocks or low emotional expression, but I would argue that since he never openly owns or discusses his emotions, (verbally or otherwise,) and instead turns to petty drama or denial, he also belongs in this category.

TL;DR: Most if not all of Miss Simian’s students exhibit classic symptoms of neurodivergence, be it autism, adhd, or both. Hopefully the many (x character) has (x diagnosis) posts I’ve seen floating around can supplement this theory! And of course, if you don’t buy this interpretation or just don’t like it, you don’t have to agree with me! But I think the idea of TAWOG having a majority neurodivergent cast is comforting, fun, and canon-compliant. :)

[quismetarc]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞   𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧:   𝐚   𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥   𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬

before reading this,  please keep in mind that by no means am i a medical professional trained in any sort of mental diagnoses.   these are all extrapolations and just because i personally love doing deep dives in a character’s psyche.   while i do have a science background,  it is not in psychology,  so this is based off very minimal psychology courses,  research and personal hypothesis.   below you will find a breakdown of what i perceive to be the psychological profile of love quinn,  both as per my portrayal of her and what i reference from the show.   for the sake of this not being many many pages long,  this has been narrowed down to what i think are some of the most important disorders to note and have been simplified drastically.

ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER

love has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD).   this is what is commonly referred to as psychopathy or sociopathy.   in order to be diagnosed with ASPD,  three or more of the criteria must be met past the age of 15.   below is the list of traits taken from the DSM-5, highlighted are the five love meets:

deceitfulness is one that can be argued,  because love tends to lie in order to cover any crimes or mistakes she’s made.   it doesn’t necessarily fall into the purpose of conning or personal profit or pleasure.   but i’ve highlighted it to make note that love can be incredibly deceitful and is a tactical liar.   it’s been said time and time again,  especially in season 3 that love quinn is impulsive.   every act of aggression she has shown has resulted in death because of how impulsive she can be.   this ties hand in hand with reckless disregard for safety of self or others.   while we see a brief moment where love seems to show remorse when it comes to gil’s death,  i think that primarily stems from the fact that her plans hadn’t panned out how she had expected them too.   i view every moment where love seems emotional about a death (i.e natalie and gil) to be a direct result of fear for herself and safety rather than remorse for her victim.   below is an excerpt from the DSM outlining the lack of remorse with examples that i think are appropriate for love:

they may be indifferent to, or provide a superficial rationalization for, having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from someone (e.g., 'Tife's unfair," "losers deserve to lose"). These individuals may blame the victims for being foolish, helpless, or deserving their fate (e.g., "he had it coming anyway"); they may minimize the harmful consequences of their actions; or they may simply indicate complete indifference.

a key note that the DSM makes is that “the occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.”   i will touch on love’s bipolar disorder,  but i don’t think any of her acts of aggression and violence were during any manic episodes.   they instead stemmed from impulsiveness and irritability.

to avoid rambling too much there are a few quotes in the DSM i’d like to highlight:

Biological relatives of individuals with this disorder are also at increased risk for somatic symptom disorder and substance use disorders:   in relation to forty’s substance abuse

There has been some concern that antisocial personality disorder may be underdiagnosed in females:   i think love was diagnosed with BP but never ASPD because of this

Child abuse or neglect, unstable or erratic parenting, or inconsistent parental discipline may increase the likelihood that conduct disorder will evolve into antisocial personality disorder:   see the treatment of love by dottie and ray quinn,  primarily dottie

while we know that love is a psychopath,  psychopathy isn’t explicitly defined in the DSM and instead has been proposed as a specifier under ASPD,  so that should be kept in mind.   i will separately post how i think love fares on the PCL-R (Psychopathy Checklist Revised) separately.

to note,  antisocial personality disorder cannot be diagnosed without a diagnosis of conduct disorder before age fifteen.

CONDUCT DISORDER

conduct disorder is broken into four categories:   aggression to people and animals,  destruction of property,  deceitfulness or theft,  serious violations of rules.   at the age of thirteen was when love had killed forty’s au pair,  which points to aggression to people and animals.   at least three of fifteen criteria must be met to be diagnosed with conduct disorder,  and i will only be highlighting the ones i believe she meets:

Has used a weapon that can cause serious physical harm to others (e.g., a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife, gun):   love had used a knife to kill sofia

Often lies to obtain goods or favors or to avoid obligations (i.e., “cons” others):   as a child,  i think this was more prominent with love.   she would call them her white lies,  twisting the truth in order to get what she wanted.   i.e manipulating / gaslighting other people

i don’t think love would entirely meet the criteria for conduct disorder at first,  especially because it requires repetitive behaviour and only one major event would fall into the conduct disorder category.   but i do think this would be something noted in her profile and later re-examined when diagnosing ASPD.  in this examination,  the last criteria would be brought into play,  bringing her to a total of three out of fifteen:

Has run away from home overnight at least twice while living in the parental or parental surrogate home, or once without returning for a lengthy period:   i do think love has run away from home,  likely with forty when home got a little too much to handle.   however,  i do think this is something that would be disregarded as typical prepubescent teen behaviour and not noted until further examination of her profile

once again,  i don’t think conduct disorder entirely fits for love,  but there is evidence of conduct disorder which is what leads to the diagnosis of ASPD.

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

there is a slight reference by dottie to the fact that love has borderline personality disorder in season 3,  and for this reason i think that love does already take medications to treat her BPD.   that also means we don’t entirely have a full picture of the extent of love’s BPD.

similarly to ASPD,  BPD also has a set number of criteria that must be met in order to be diagnosed.   highlighted below are the following that i believe love exhibits:

going through this one at at a time below:

love clearly has a problem with abandonment,  and i think this stems from her attachment to forty.   she’s had multiple scares where she’s thought that she would lose her brother,  and a part of her fears come from that.   we see her frantic effort to avoid abandonment with how desperately she keeps joe around.   even more so,  when she had told joe about her paralyzing james,  it wasn’t to kill him.   it was to convince him to stay with her despite it all.

i think both love and joe do this.   it’s very clear that all of love’s personal relationships are incredibly intense,  seen with joe and forty primarily.   the idealization of these relationships is what leads to her intense connections.   and i think,  if time had permit,  she would have ended up devaluing her relationship with joe when he turned more and more into a man she didn’t want. 

i’ve touched on love’s impulsivity more than once,  so i think it’s self explanatory at this point.

i think that love lacks a sense of self.   she has grown so used to molding herself to become what everyone would like that she doesn’t have a real version of herself to fall back to and this results in this unstable sense of self.  as per the DSM:  There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values, and types of friends.   i think this is very clearly seen with the shift in love’s friend groups,  and her going from an independent woman to a very motherly,  homely figure in season three.

both her reactivity of mood and her inappropriate,  intense bursts of anger are seen time and time again in season 3 when she suddenly snaps.   like a boiling kettle,  she seems to blow in a second’s time.  “the anger is often elicited when a caregiver or lover is seen as neglectful, withholding, uncaring, or abandoning”   which is often the case when love snaps due to joe.

note this excerpt from the DSM that adequately explains love and how she develops her intense interpersonal relationships (point two):

They may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship.

a common co-occuring disorder is bipolar disorder,  which i believe love has shown signs of as well but will not be touched on in this post.

lastly,  to note:   “borderline personality disorder is diagnosed predominantly (about 75%) in females.”

to wrap this up,   once again,   i am not a professional and this is not an actual diagnosis.   all my information is taken from the DSM-5 and a few quick searches online,  very basic very bare bones.   i will reiterate time and time again,  that mental illness doesn’t make a murderer.   at the very least,  not the mental illness we talk about in terms of everyday society and mental health.   but a murderer’s psyche is not of the norm so this is an exploration as to how she would possibly be diagnosed if given the chance.

[liskantope]

In the internet era, likeminded people will find each other, including those that are suffering from ailments the conventional medical system can’t treat or even define. It’s therefore no surprise that since the whole world went online the number of people claiming to suffer from disputed diseases with shifting symptoms and complex etiologies has risen dramatically. All of those people, I have no doubt, are in some kind of pain, and we are compelled by decency and shared humanity to confront that pain. But it’s also true that the internet creates conspiracists, it heightens distrust of institutions, it magnifies paranoia. On the internet, no matter how fanciful your sneaking suspicions might be, no matter how disordered and unhealthy, someone will emerge from the digital fog and whisper to you that all of it is real. From this stems gangstalking, stems QAnon, stems people who think they’re getting sick from 5G. It’s a problem from hell and one I don’t know how to fix.

. . .

When one group of people in society feels unheard for so long, in time they form a crusade, and the object of that crusade is the most human of all demands: feel our pain. It is natural to want the world to understand our suffering as something different, something deeper, something special. The cacophony of our political lives stems in no small part from the ceaselessly multiplying number of groups that ask that their suffering be seen as something transcendent and unique. The trouble, of course, is that we’re all suffering, and in fact to suffer is the least special, most ordinary thing any person can do.

Thank you Freddie DeBoer for articulating these things, and so beautifully.

Actually, I find the entire article excellent and beautifully written (modulo my not having any other exposure to the Ross Douthat book myself, and after reading this article not caring to try reading it because I don't know if I could emotionally handle it!). The review expresses a lot of profound points besides the ones shown in the two paragraphs I quoted above. I quoted the particular things I did because they reflect particular points of view that I've held and not known quite how to express and not seen directly discussed enough.

Overall, DeBoer has grown on me a great deal over the years. I first knew him shortly after I was introduced to the rationalism community, so sometime not long after mid-2014. I found his writing okay then but often dense; I found the sides he took on lots of issues a bit hard to relate to (in the sense of not being able to grok a full worldview that certain stances naturally flowed from, I guess?) and vehemently disagreed with one of his articles strongly enough to write this post back in 2015 (not sure whether I'd endorse my post today). But, a lot of time (by internet standards) has passed between then and now -- in DeBoer's case, that included a mental breakdown and related hiatus from blogging -- and now he's right around the top of my list of favorite blogs that frequently update. In particular, at this point I honestly consider him to write better anti-SJ stuff than Scott Alexander ever did, although I'm not sure how much of that reflects an evolution in my own tastes and inclinations.