fqirycollective

[fqirycollective]

Maladaptive Daydreaming and DID: A Theory

Introduction

Similar to my theory about the link between DID and ADHD, this comes purely from research and personal connections I've made from it. It also comes from some personal experiences, but I don't want to put as much emphasis on that. I have other posts about maladaptive daydreaming, but a quick definition is a psychiatric condition that causes long periods of vivid, intense daydreams that interfere with your life. This theory applies to other system types as well, but DID is a disorder caused by severe, repetitive childhood trauma that causes a child to dissociate to the extent their ego states can't integrate. I have other posts going over this more in detail, so I'll just go onto the theory! As always, this is just a theory and it's impossible to make it fit every single system's experience.

The Known Connection

There is already a known connection between daydreaming and DID. Daydreaming is a form of dissociation, though on the very very low, normal end of the dissociation spectrum. Maladaptive daydreaming is higher on the spectrum because it involves losing time to your daydreams and removing yourself from reality to immerse yourself within your daydream. Maladaptive daydreaming being a form of dissociation is a connection. Another one is how dissociative children (in creation of the system) are known to wish their trauma was happening to someone else, pretend it was happening to someone else, and eventually dissociate away from it so much that they have no idea it happened at all and/or believe it really did happen to someone else.

Innerworlds

The first part of the theory goes over innerworlds. Some of this is already regarded as fact, but other parts are a bit more controversal on how 100% it is. The theory is that a maladaptive daydreamer child who is also a system will likely have an innerworld. This is because their brain is able to create such complex worlds already in their daydreams, that an internal world wouldn't be as hard to create than if they didn't have the ability to create those complex worlds. I also believe so many systems' innerworlds are so vivid because of maladaptive daydreaming making it easier for them to visualize, not because of the roleplaying thing many fakeclaimers tend to think.

This is actually gone over in did-research.org where it says how highly dissociative and imaginative children may create complex innerworlds. The imaginative part, when paired with the known connection mentioned previously, makes me believe it has a strong connection to maladaptive daydreaming. Furthermore, I read a study about why polyfragmented systems tended to have larger and more complex innerworlds. Unfortunately, I didn't save the study, but the gist of it was that the brain sees the trauma as completely unescapable and therefore turns to itself as a way to cope through daydreaming and imaging themself away from it.

Polyfragmented systems often have continuous trauma and so the theory is they used daydreaming as a distraction while it was happening so the brain seeked a safe place inside the daydream. (Reminder: Daydreaming is a form of dissociation so as a coping mechanism for trauma, it can still lead to a system.) I think the brain uses daydreaming as a child to help create a place that will help them cope with current and future issues. This includes re-traumatization (unsafe innerworlds) because I believe the brain may re-traumatize itself to be able to prepare itself.

Roles

I want to start this out by saying this part of the theory is unlike the one before and is me expanding with my own theory instead of just explaining. When people ask why a specific role formed, they're met with the answer "because your brain needed it." While this is true, there's a reason *why* your brain knows what it needs. Thus, I researched why roles formed. The main theory I want to talk about doesn't have a name that I'm aware of. It essentially says that the roles alters take on are to handle the thoughts and affirmations the child usually poses on themself.

For example, a child thinking "I deserve this" may form a persecutor who seeks out similar behavior as the abuse, or a child thinking "I could protect myself if I were older" may form a protector that is older than the body. As a child, these thoughts may be more noticeable to themself but as you grow older, the dissociation and splitting become a subconcious thing. (Not that it's consciously being done as a child, but the known connection of daydreaming of it being someone else is and it's one of the examples given in the theory I read so the disconnect from the trauma may be partially intentional.) These subconscious thoughts while splitting are what are theorized to decide the role of the parts being formed, at least to some degree. Since learning of this theory, I've noticed this in my own system as well as a couple others I'm close to. These thoughts may be apart of a daydream, especially if it's the primary coping mechanism.

Now for the part where I add on. Again, this comes from research and are my personal connections. There are common themes associated with maladaptive daydreamers' daydreams that seem to match alter roles quite well, leading to me believing maladaptive daydreaming may play a larger part in roles than originally believed. For example, the companionship theme would match quite well with soothers, caretakers, and other roles where being there for someone is the main job. Another would be syskids that formed with the purpose of having the childhood the system never got and the theme of an idealized self. The thing about this part of the theory is that both DID (always) and maladaptive daydreaming (often but not proven always) stem from trauma and these are recurrent ideas among trauma survivors, so they may have nothing to do with one another. I found it an interesting thought to share anyways.

The other part of the theory is something I mentioned previously but didn't elaborate on: daydreaming as a primary coping mechanism. Not only could the thoughts while daydreaming have something to do with the roles, but I believe the daydreams themselves could too. For example, I often daydream of being powerful. Sometimes, powerful with the intent to protect and sometimes powerful with the intent to hurt (within the daydream). A system going directly to their coping mechanism of daydreaming while splitting and assuming a role of (in the example I gave) someone protective may make the subconcious and the brain feel they need a protector to survive because it's helping survive in the moment. I'm happy to answer any questions on any theories I talked about in this post, but just know the actual connection of maladaptive daydreaming to roles of alters was entirely mine and so I won't have sources on it.

[fqirycollective]

Autism vs ADHD: A Collab

Introduction

It's commonly known that Autism and ADHD are frequently comorbid with one another. There are many overlapping symptoms. However, there are some that deny these symptoms can exist in the other disorder because it's not in the diagnostic criteria. This doesn't mean the person can't experience them, nor does it mean they have the other disorder. (Think how systems have been known to have psychosis, but not all systems have another disorder known to cause them.) This led to me feeling invalidated because I have thouroughly considered being autistic but I don't meet the criteria, but still had the symptoms often considered "autistic-only" as a diagnosed ADHDer. I brought this up with Alex (@theaxolotlcollective) and we realized we both experience the same symptoms, but for different reasons. That led to this collab of how symptoms present in both disorders present differently based on experiences!

RS/RSD

These stand for "rejection sensitivity" and "rejection sensitivity dysphoria." RSD is only found in ADHD due to the differences I'm about to describe and how the person who coined it intending it for ADHD, but many other disorders may experience rejection sensitivity. ("RSD appears to be the one emotional condition found *only* with ADHD." - Dr. Dodson, chadd.org.) When my RSD is triggered, there's not always something that triggers it. In autism and other disorders, there's typically an external trigger. For me, it can be external but also no trigger at all. An external example is my old choir teacher telling me to sing notes that were too low to be comfortable in my range because I could hit them in general. This triggered my RSD. Something with no trigger would be when I saw a bug on the floor. I automatically broke down because of RSD, and there was nothing that caused it. This is a big difference in the way both RSD and ADHD are different from other disorders.

Stimming and Fidgiting

Stimming is a repetitive moment that's often done to help regulate and soothe emotions. I stim when overwhelmed to help do so, but I also stim as a fidgit. By this, I mean I put my hyperactve and fidgiting energy into stimming. Whenever I can't use the preferred way of fidgiting, I get more distressed and I couldn't figure out why until I realized it's also a stim that I use to regulate my emotions. I do it when bored, as well as when trying to remain focused (and it helps). For me, they're combined and often difficult to distinguish from one another.

Difficulty Focusing

I often have difficulty focusing. I can't focus when there are too many people talking because there's too much going on, but I also can't when it's quiet. I tend to have to multitask to focus, which many people don't understand. I also have struggle focusing with executive dysfunction, since I can't focus on a task that executive dysfunction is keeping me from doing because I'm still trying to focus on the previous task. I also have the opposite, where I hyperfocus. This often occurs when I have adrenaline rushes, and I struggle to focus on anything else and even forget basic life necessities. A common occurance for me is with school work, and I don't remember the important life things until it's done.

Social Troubles

I struggle socially, but not in the way the diagnostic criteria for autism describes. I struggle to keep focus on a conversation, to "stay in line" and wait my turn, not interupt people. I also connect things randomly, which make sense to me through quick connections my brain makes but not to others. My body also often moves faster than brain and I do things without thinking. This led to a lot of people labeling me as "the smart dumb kid" because I get good grades, but appear without common sense. Another struggle I have socially is with the "out of sight, out of mind" thing. I don't think of things without being prompted, which often frustrates other people. An example of this is my mom asking me why I didn't know what I want for dinner. I told her I didn't think about it so she said "Well you need to eat, don't you?" It was difficult to explain that it wasn't dinnertime and I wasn't hungry, so it didn't occur to me to think about it. It's also important to mention that there was a study that found 80% of children with ADHD are part of the "rejected" group and so it makes sense for us to struggle socially.

Sensory Issues

I have a lot of comorbid disorders that impact my senses, so this will be a combination because it's hard to differentiate what causes the issue. Hearing wise, ADHD makes me pay more attention to all sounds around me. This also combines with PTSD and anxiety, and combines with my tinnitus symptoms from VSS. I struggle with most lighting conditions because of VSS and migraines. Touch-wise, my attention is often diverted to things like clothing tags and feels. I'm also hypersensitive to touch and it has to be certain fabric or I can't wear it. There's also a weird thing I do, where I can't smell much but when I do smell stronger smells, I also taste it. It's fine with food, but is a huge struggle with things like cleaners. I don't know why this is, but I know people have thought I was weird for it.

[fqirycollective]

Low-Energy Self Care

Introduction/Disclaimer

Self care can be difficult for those with mental illness, especially when only things that are high energy (going to a spa, taking a walk, etc.) are often seen as self care. However, self care can be anything that can help rejuvinate emotions and calm you down. This being said, these are things that I've talked with my counselor as being low-energy for me compared to other things, even though some are a bit more high-energy. Energy levels differ person to person and so these may be high-energy for others.

Things you enjoy

1. Rewatch a comfort show

2. Rewatch a favorite show

3. Listen to music

4. Sing or hum

5. Read a fanfiction or short story (I find these less daunting than novels)

6. Drag a pencil across paper in whatever shape your feelings take you

7. Scribble on something

Socializing

1. Text/Call a close friend/partner (they take me less energy than other people)

2. Play with or pet/cuddle with a pet

3. Daydream (my daydreams often involve daydreaming of socializing)

Others

1. Cry (it has some benefits)

2. Do mind games

3. Sleep

4. Fold paper over and over

5. Listen to relaxation things (such as water, birds, etc.)

[fqirycollective]

Room-Temperature with Boiling Water in the Corner Takes

Introduction

These are some of my opinions about the system community that I think others will disagree with, even if it’s just slightly. In order to keep my account a safe place, I do ask that if you disagree, you can comment but do so in a respectful manner. I keep the same respect, so it’s only fair. I typically keep my opinion out of my posts, which is why I want to start off the year with this post because I know a lot of my followers would like to see them. I’ve put them in order based on how many people I think will disagree so the “cool” takes are more towards the beginning of the post. 

1st Take: The healing box shouldn’t exist.

The healing box created by the community is that you should work towards functional multiplicity without any fusion, hate your abusers, source separate as soon as possible, etc. This shouldn’t exist. Starting with source separation, yes it’s important and I will always advocate for people to do it. However, introjects split for a reason and forcing them to separate from source before they’re ready is dangerous. I am very against source calls, even if this is the case, but source separation will often happen naturally by discovering hobbies outside of the source’s hobbies, making friends, discovering more about yourself as a person, etc. These are all steps in source separation and it shouldn’t be forced. On to the abusers aspect, you don’t have to hate your abusers. I forgive a lot of mine because they were children and didn’t recognize what they did as wrong. Some people do change, and it’s up to the person if they want to forgive their abusers. Forgiving also doesn’t mean you allow them back into your life, or that you trust them and are friends. It doesn’t even mean talking to them or letting them know you forgive them. Sometimes, it just means you’re no longer holding past actions against them. Finally, the functional multiplicity. Fusion is not a bad thing. It is a sign of healing. If a system wants to final fuse, it’s up to them. If a system wants to fuse some parts but remain a system, it’s up to them. Why does it matter if someone you don’t even know wants to fuse their parts? 

2nd Take: Fusion and integration don’t need trigger warnings and shouldn’t be censored.

Integration is healing. That’s all there is to it. You shouldn’t trigger warn or censor healing. As for fusion, I understand what it’s like to lose someone I was close to to fusion. I understand the grief of them not existing as themselves anymore and how they’re different. However, it comes down to how fusion happens. They can only happen after integration, which only happens from healing. By trigger warning and censoring fusion, we’re creating the idea that it’s bad to everyone we come across. That would eventually lead back to the idea of how fusion is healing. We have natural negative connotations for trigger warnings and censored words, so people begin to see healing as bad. (Of course fusion isn’t the only way to heal, but it’s still a way and shouldn’t be spread as bad.)

3rd Take: The community doesn’t have to be so hostile.

From callout posts, to fakeclaiming, to both aggressive and passive-aggressive responses to people who are wrong, there is so much hostility. It’s unnecessary, even in a community of trauma survivors. I know it can be difficult to control trauma responses and the fight response is an absolutely valid one, especially if someone says something that may feel like they’re fakeclaiming you (even if they aren’t). Sometimes, it’s important to bring up people to be wary about because they have a history of harming others. But there are callouts about small things, things that others don’t need to be warned against. There are many different ways to be a system (meaning how a system presents, childhood trauma is the only way to become a system), and while some experiences are universal, there are many that aren’t. Fakeclaiming does more harm than it does good. As for the aggressive and passive-aggressive responses, why? Unless they start it first, there’s no reason to not try to politely correct them or offer support. Overall, the hostility divides the community further and further when we’re supposed to be a community and support one another.

4th Take: Trauma work should be the goal.

I don’t say this as a way to tell people how to heal. However, trauma work and learning new coping mechanisms beyond dissociation is the only way to heal. Trauma work leads to integration, because you’re learning to work through the traumatic memories and emotions from them. Even if you don’t want to be diagnosed or medically recognized for whatever reason, you should at least attempt trauma work. (Unless you have and trying to work through it was more harmful to you than being as a system.) Part of being a system is the distress it causes (in the diagnostic criteria and you wouldn’t have realized to look into it without symptoms somehow disturbing your life) and it’s absolutely possible to no longer have that distress, but that only happens through integration because of how integration lowers the dissociative and amnesic barriers. It’s important, and I know a lot of people will disagree with that. 

5th Take: There is way too big of a focus on dating.

It can be nice to have a partner, to feel like you’re apart of something bigger, and to have someone who understands. However, it shouldn’t be your main focus in the community. When I first joined the community, there were a lot of matchmaker accounts. While there aren’t nearly as many now, I still see a lot of systems posting partner applications and it often seems they don’t consider the risks. It’s easy to find someone who knows you’re looking and get into a relationship quickly, before you get to know them. I’ve seen this turn into manipulation and overall further abuse way too many times, unfortunately. Overall, I think partner applications of any type are dangerous because they allow people to know your age, sometimes see your face, know your likes/dislikes, etc. all without needing to have a conversation. Another thing is the aspect of communication between alters, amnesia, trauma responses, etc. There’s also a big issue with dating only for introjects, because you have romantic memories with them, asking about sources before getting together with someone, etc. This romanticizes being an introject in a way, as well as possibly leading to stunting source separation. Finally, and this isn’t nearly as big as the other reason’s I’ve mentioned, some singlets learn to believe this is “dating disorder” when they only see partner applications. I know a lot of people don’t think this is true, but I’ve gotten a couple of Tells that ask me why I have “dating disorder” and I just felt like it wasn’t important enough to answer at the time. This can lead to romanticization and singlets wanting a system.

6th Take: There’s too much emphasis on introjects.

Kind of related to the last one, but it stands true. I know it can feel validating to have the same experiences as another system (such as splitting introjects), but the emphasis on them has gone too far. Source calls are dangerous, I’ve already said how and why (manipulation, easy to be catfished, just wanting a relationship with introjects, etc.) but that’s not the only way. I’ve seen people try to intentionally split specific things because they want an introject of them. I’ve seen people trying to split introjects in general because they want to be introject heavy. I’ve seen people shame systems without introjects and even fakeclaim them. You can see the problem with this, right? Furthermore, I say this as someone who has luckily gotten out of a similar mindset. I used to intentionally try to split introjects while splitting because of how many of us are fragments and if they’re an introject, that’s something they can latch on to for identity. I was scared of having alters I didn’t know about so I tried to use that as a way to increase their identity and know about them. This was extremely unhealthy (especially since it stressed me out more), and I’m proud of myself from moving past that mindset. I know it’s different for everyone, but the fact of the emphasis on introjects for every reason I mentioned above remains.

[fqirycollective]

The Link Between ADHD and DID - A Theory!

Disclaimer

This is a personal theory that I created. This is based off my personal research and thoughts, and shouldn’t be treated as 100% fact. I’m not a professional, and these are just my own conclusions being drawn to make an overall observation. This being said, I have the theory that it’s a similar principle with autism as it is with ADHD and why so many systems are/have one or both, but I don’t have enough proper research on autism to say for sure. Please keep all of this in mind while reading!

First, how do systems form?

The current theory is the Theory of Structural Dissociation. In a simplified version, this theory says that all children are born with multiple ego states. As we grow up, these ego states integrate into one identity and personality. However, if severe and repetitive trauma occurs before they integrate (it happens all throughout childhood but “finishes” at around 7-9), the brain may start to rely on dissociation and dissociative barriers between ego states. This happens so one of the ego states can continue life as normal, despite the trauma and another can hold the traumatic memories and responses to keep the other from needing to deal with them. Those ego states then develop into their own personalities and identities. Disorganized attachment also plays a role, where the child has conflicting feelings about their caregiver where they both love and are afraid of them due to inconsistent patterns. Not all systems form from abuse, but 90% of systems do because of the disorganized attachment and how a lot of forms of abuse are normalized to where the caregiver may not respond adequately to the child’s needs. It’s important to remember that dissociation is a last resort and traumatic experiences once or twice won’t cause a system.

Does this mean there was nothing else to cope with?

This is a debated topic, from what I’ve seen? Not 100% sure about that, but there seem to be two iffy sides. However, you can have friends, teachers you trust, hobbies, etc. and still be a system. Just because you have things that are able to be used as a coping mechanism, doesn’t necessarily mean that the child knew to use it as such, especially if trauma happened early enough that you picked them up after dissociation became the primary coping mechanism. As for the friends and adults the child trusts? That would almost always require telling them about the trauma, which would mean the child would have to accept that the trauma was happening on some level which goes against what the disorder is about. 

How does this relate to ADHD?

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is the first thing that came to mind. Other disorders can experience rejection sensitivity, but the dysphoria part comes from there not really being a trigger to the intense emotions (which is why the term RSD is ADHD-specific and others should use rejection sensitivity or RS for short!) and it’s instead from the learned behavior of rejection from peers, even without interaction whereas in other disorders, there is usually some type of interaction. With RSD, it’s extremely difficult to identify and regulate the intense reactions to perceived rejection. Abuse and disorganized attachment is based on rejection by others, especially since systems are often taught that abuse can co-exist with love. Struggling to cope with those emotions can lead to an increased chance of dissociation. One study found that 80% of children with ADHD are in the bullied and rejected classifications.

My Conclusions

Essentially, I have the theory that such intense emotions may lead it to be more likely for a child to dissociate due to the inability to regulate and therefore are overwhelmed by emotions easier. Beyond this, the high levels of rejection among children with ADHD makes it harder for them to make friends. I have personally even been rejected by teachers and other adults without them causing any type of trauma. This, paired with the fact that the child would have to accept the trauma to tell anyone, and that it’s frequent that the trauma starts before the possibility to gain hobbies to cope with, could make it likelier that the child dissociates instead of using other coping mechanisms. My theory is that so many systems have ADHD because of the likelihood they probably have to rely on dissociation more than other coping mechanisms that may help in the face of trauma.

[fqirycollective]

Roles We've Coined

Dissociation Aid

As a polyfragmented system, we are constantly dissociated to some degree. However, we aren't always in danger anymore. So whenever we get too dissociated without a trauma trigger, we've noticed we have an alter that switches in and it significantly lowers our dissociation levels. We call this a dissociation aid, and our dissociation aid is Toni. Because we figure this isn't specific to polyfragmented systems, any traumagenic system.

Preventive Protector - tw for mentions of programming!

Okay! This is a rename of a role we found on pluralpedia. Debugger was the original term and it referred to a type of protector who prevented the system from falling back into patterns of abuse. However, our system felt as though debugger itself might imply programming as like. Someone debugging a computer programming? Because of the similarities in terminology, we approched Alex and asked for his help coming up with a new term because obviously all systems can experience that. It really doesn't matter what you use, but we prefer this term so I thought I'd share it!

Fledgling

As a polyfragmented system, we have an extremely high amount of fragments. But the line where fragment and fully formed alter blurs so we coined a term to determine between the fragments (what we call fledglings) and the fragmented fragments (fragments). Fledglings may have basis of a name, pronouns, sexuality, gender, etc. but not much more while fragments may only have one or so. We have a more in-depth post on this, so I'll leave it here!

Confidence Booster

This is a part who fronts to appear more confident, specifically when giving a presentation or while receiving criticism. This was coined with people with anxiety and ADHD in mind (specifically social anxiety and ADHDers who experience RSD as those are the experiences that cause are parts with this role to front in our system and thus caused a need for the role), but it can be used by anyone! Just keep in mind we coined it with those people in mind.

Dopamine Inducer

This is a role in which an alter has less severe ADHD symptoms than the rest of the system, even the non-symptom holders. For us, this meant he was able to keep focus easier, get more done, pay mpre attention to detail and hygiene, etc. This is specific to ADHD systems.

Health/Sleep Aid

Our health aid frequently visits co-con during the sick seasons to remind us of things to help keep us healthy, as well as to front if we are sick to help take care of whatever is making us sick. Our sleep aid helps us specifically when we have a harder time sleeping at night for whatever reason, but she's also been known to keep us in bed if she thinks we haven't gotten enough sleep.

[fqirycollective]

ADHD Informative Post Pt. 2

Causes

As stated in the first part (on @fqiryinfo Instagram), a heavily theorized cause of ADHD is a lack of dopamine to the pre-frontal cortex. Genetics obviously play a major role in that, however scientists are also researching the possibility of brain injuries, exposure to environmental risks (like lead) during pregnancy or early childhood, alcohol or tobacco use during pregnancy, premature delivery, and low birth weight as possible risk factors. Having these risk factors does not necessarily equal having ADHD. Another neurotransmitter besides dopamine that may contribute to ADHD symptoms is norepinephrine. Certain parts of the brain have been noted to be decreased in volume, as well as low iron and zinc levels causing a higher risk for ADHD symptoms and even a higher severity of symptoms. Despite common misconceptions, ADHD has *no* connection with sugar currently noted and has nothing to do with parental styles.

Treatment - Medication

Medicated treatment is typically broken down into three groups. These are long-lasting stimulants (like Adderall XR, Vyvanse, Biphentin, and Concerta), long-lasting non-stimulants (like Strattera), and short/immediate-acting stimulants (like Dexedrine, Dexedrine Spansule, Ritalin, and Ritalin SR). XR stands for extended release while SR stands for sustained release. This is not necessarily a medication, but iron supplements have been noted to help allivieate ADHD symptoms which makes sense with the noted iron deficiency being a risk. However, zinc supplements didn't have as much of a positive effect.

Treatment - Non-Medication

Psychoeducation: strategy instruction (sleep management, anger contron, etc.), self-talk development, organizational skills developments, information on ADHD, community resources, and support groups

Behavioral Intervention: rewards and consequences, environmental management, ADHD coaching, and lifestyle changes

Social Intervention: social skills training and parenting skills training

Psychotherapy: self-talk strategies, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), interpersonal therapy, family therapy, expressive arts therapy, and supportive counseling

Educational/Vocational Accomodations: academic remidation and specialized academic/workplace interventions

Comorbidities

"More often than not, ADHD is further complicated by comorbidity with one or more psychiatric disorders.... An adult with ADHD is six times more likely to have at least one other psychiatric disorder than an adult without ADHD." (Thomas E. Brown, PH.D.). A quote from a book to all those who would like to argue against those who believe comorbidities don't exist. Even a study found 70% of 579 children carefully diagnosed with ADHD fully met the diagnostic criteria for one or more psychiatric disorders. Cases of ADHD not complicated by another disorder are rare.

As for the disorders ADHD is often comorbid with, that would be learning disorders, anxiety disorders, mood disorders (especially Bipolar Disorder), OCD, ODD, conduct disorder, substance use disorders, and personality disorders. Bipolar disorder especially, but but mood disorders in general stem from similar neurobiology so it makes for them to be so comorbid. (Bipolar 1 is even more comorbid than Bipolar 2.) Personality disorders are reported to be present in more than 50% of adults with ADHD. Of that 50%, the most common are cluster B and C disorders with 25% of them having two or more personality disorders. Of the papers I've read, none of them mention Autism as an actual comorbidity of ADHD however that's probably because it falls under the other disorders of early childhood they frequently mentioned.

Our Own Experiences

We are professionally diagnosed with ADHD. We have genetic links on both sides of our family, as well as a lack of iron (not diagnosed with iron deficiency but we do experience symptoms at times). We were diagnosed at 13 with the inattentive type. Originally we tried Strattera as a medication, but it didn't work so we switched to another medicine and it's been working ever since (heavy dissociation messes with the effectiveness though). We have recently decided to ask to start taking iron supplements to help with symptoms. As for comorbidities, we have a comorbid mood disorder (depression however the disorder type was never specified), generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder diagnosed. We also experiences symptoms of BPD, but it's not been talked about with the mental health group we talk to so we avoid saying for sure we have it despite the genetic and trauma links. Obviously this is just in regards to this post, but yeah!

[fqirycollective]

Debunking FDC Claims Pt. 2

tw// mentions hospitals and hospitalization, implications of self harm

The Ability to Mask

Systems are caused by covert disorders, meaning most systems (about 94%) are covert and unable to be detected by others. A lot of systems present more overtly online due to the internet being a place to actually express yourself and the ability to do things like make different accounts on social media. Only about 6% of systems are overt enough to be able to be noticed by other people. So naturally, a heavy majority of systems will be able to mask well. Some systems put effort into masking because of safety reasons, being ashamed, or simply because it's no one else's business. Things like accents which people either expect or fakeclaim aren't as easy to mask (personal experience), but it's easy to play it off as something like watching that type of show recently. Overall, systems are meant to be covert but not all of them are, so the ability to mask will vary system to system and even alter to alter.

A large system isn't hospitalized.

Systems are made so we can function despite the trauma we've experienced. Typically, intervention to the point of hospitalization only occurs if the person is a danger to themself or someone else. (From what I've read, anyway. We have never been hospitalized.) Self-destructive parts exist, I'm not denying that. However, just because they exist doesn't mean that large systems (who have more alters to switch between and typically multiple of each role) have them front long enough to be able to harm to that point. Our protectors typically front with them to keep them from doing serious injury. Not to mention, a lot of systems have medical trauma of some type and the system itself may avoid all of that to prevent further traumatization and therefore avoid doing anything that may end up with them being hospitalized. This goes for all systems. For larger systems, the main difference in ways we act is increased dissociation, even less identity, and more amnesia. All of which aren't reasons to be hospitalized.

They have non-distinct alters.

Non-distinct alters doesn't mean no alters at all. They have been noted in a form of OSDD-1 (what the community calls OSDD-1a) and in polyfragmented systems specifically, but just because they're non-distinct doesn't mean they aren't there. In fact, it's common to have similarities with alters due to the fact that they're all apart of the same brain so they'd likely have similar hobbies and interests.

They use Plural Kit or Simply Plural.

Heaven forbid that a person with a serious, debilitating disorder uses an app or program to make life easier. Both allow a system to keep track of number of alters, information about them, add ways for you to communicate with one another, add important notes and reminders, keep track of fronting, etc. All of this can and does help with communication which is possibly the most important part of healing (as the bettering of communication between parts– integration– is necessary in all paths of healing). This can be done using some type of journal but for a lot of people, keeping an app on your phone is a lot easier. And since they're resources that were actually made for systems, it makes total sense for systems to use them.

They have a history of roleplaying or continue to roleplay after coming out.

Systems are heavily traumatized. Often, writing and roleplaying are ways for people to express themselves and to get away from their traumatizing lives. While yes, this would mean they have experience creating and acting as characters and I do know some roleplayers who have faked being a system, it doesn't mean every system who roleplays is faking. Sometimes they write and roleplay to escape current trauma or to express themselves in a community that is typically accepting of trauma survivors.

Introjects from new/popular source

Introjects form for a reason. In the case of fictives (which is what this claim is mostly about), it's because their brain finds something about that character that's worth internalizing. The more popular a source becomes, the more people who will consume it. When that happens, more and more introjects will be formed. That's common sense, honestly. As for new sources (even if it's come out within a week), it's not impossible for systems to form introjects from them. Why is it so hard to believe people are currently so stressed/being traumatized that they need to split and cope by consuming a newer media? It's not impossible, and so not a reason to fakeclaim.

They use outdated terms.

This is interesting, but I'll debunk it anyways. If they're a minor or they're self-diagnosed who uses it, I'd personally take it as a sign they probably haven't done nearly enough research to consider themself a system. However, specifically for those who are older and diagnosed, it's possible they were diagnosed with MPD or DDNOS and continue to use that term over the new terms. It's the same exact thing when it comes to ADD, which is now an outdated term. Would you tell someone who says they have ADD they're faking? No? Same exact thing.

They won't tell you their trauma.

First of all, it's none of your business. Secondly, systems are made so they don't remember the trauma. It's possible they don't know their trauma. Third, it's unlikely they want to tell someone they barely know or really anyone on the internet what their trauma is. It's unsafe and could lead them to further abuse and trauma. Why would they share that? And again, why do you need to know their trauma to determine if they're a real system? To see if they're physical/sexual abuse survivors? Friendly reminder that even the DSM-V recognizes systems formed from other types of severely stressful situations (ex: medical trauma).

They have alters different ages than the body.

Trauma happens during childhood, so that would explain the parts that appear as children like if they were stuck in the trauma mode or if they were meant to have the childhood the system never had. That explains syskids. As for parts older than the body, they may exist because their brain sees that age as more capable of doing their job. For example, a gatekeeper may be older due to their brain seeing someone who's older as more responsible and needed for the system. Or a persecutor being a teen because they're stereotypically rebellious. Or a caregiver being older due to seeing older people as more responsible and caring. There's a reason alters sometimes fit into stereotypes. It's because that's how children often see those types of people.

[fqirycollective]

Structural Dissociation in DID

Disclaimer

The title says DID and not systems in general because OSDD systems still fall under the secondary dissociation group, whereas DID systems fall under the tertiary group. The theory I'll be talking about specifically mentions DID, so I don't want to mess with that. However, I imagine it works the same way in all systems as it's with how systems form. This post also came from the abstract one source, but after a bit of research, I agreed it made sense.

How does DID form?

The current theory of why systems form is the theory of structural dissociation. This basically says that children are born with multiple ego states that deal with different aspects of life. From the ages of 7-9, these ego states will integrate and form into one personality and one identity. However, when severe and repetitive trauma occurs, the brain may put up dissociative barriers between these ego states. These barriers prevent them from integrating and forming one sense of self. As the child grows up, those non-integrated ego states then form their own, seperate senses of identity and personality, creating alters.

What is the orbitofrontal cortex?

If you remember back to our "Effects of Trauma Pt. 2," we mentioned the orbitofrontal cortex. This part of the brain is right above the eye sockets. The orbitofrontal cortex is responsible for the cognitive part of decision-making, but also temporal organization of behavior and experience-dependent reorganizing neocortical processes. However, it's also responsible for the development of emotional regulation and the development of the self which is important.

The orbitofrontal cortex's role in the development of DID

As mentioned previously, the orbitofrontal cortex involves the development of emotional regulation and sense of self. The orbitofrontal cortex is impacted by trauma in general, especially in childhood when children are still developing their sense of self, learning "proper" behaviors, etc. With an orbitiofrontal cortex that doesn't work properly due to trauma, children may not be able to develop the emotional regulation skills they need which is likely to lead to dissociation. Beyond that, it's theorized that the ego states will latch onto the different parts of the caregiver that the child sees (disorganized attachment is important) and create conflicting states of self which are normally integrated into one. But because of that dissociation from a lack of emotional regulation, the brain will raise those dissociative barriers between the conflicting parts to "keep peace" (my own interpretation) and so the part latched onto the positive side of the caregiver can go on with daily life without the trauma.

Other Parts of the Brain

Other parts of the brain are at play (amygdala - processing memory and emotional responses, hippoocampus - memory and emotion). However because the orbitofrontal cortex specifically deals with the regulation of emotions, behavior, and identity, that's the one the theory links the most to the theory of structural dissociation. I also think it makes sense as it deals with what would cause dissociation (emotional regulation) and impact the sense of self to the extent of DID.

[fqirycollective]

How DID Presented in our Childhood

Trigger Warnings

This post is jumping on the trend with how symptoms presented in childhood. As we were overt, there are a lot of things that are common triggers. This includes: talk of posession, religion, stabbing (with pencils), etc. Everything from this post comes from stories, things we've found, and information from Mist (the longest alter we know and primary gatekeeper).

Childhood (Ages 4-10)

Amnesia

Amnesia heavily covered up the amnesia. Whenever we had to think about the past, we couldn't ever remember anything and it distressed us to the point we couldn't remember we were trying to remember. We were often accused of lying as a child, due to not remembering meeting people or for not remembering "mood swings" of intense anger or sadness or not remembering full conversations with people. We played it down to everyday forgetfulness, but it never really made sense to us about why we forgot so much but then again, we never really paid attention because of how amnesia covered itself up.

Identity Changes

As a child, alters definitely weren't developed. However, we did have frequent changes in likes and dislikes, symptoms of ADHD, etc. We also have memories of "voices" comorting us at this age, but we always thought it was the wind or inanimate objects telepathically communicating with us. Our family always thought and made us think that it was because we were posessed or because of religious stuff. We held this ideaology for a long time, even into our mid-teens.

Pre-Teen/Teen Years (11+)

Amnesia

For the first few years of this age group, amnesia didn't change much as we were still in traumatic sitauations and amnesia was tenfold because of that. However around 13, amnesia lessened a bit due to no longer needing such protection constantly. We still couldn't remember anything from childhood, but we did our best to pretend like we did. We were still very often accused of lying because of not remembering promises, people, assignments, etc. About 14/15 our amnesia started increasing again due to age, but it wasn't the highest as it's still growing.

Identity Changes

At 11, we experienced our first switch noted by others. A persecutor fronted and introduced himself as a demon posessing us before starting to stab our friends with pencils, which was likely due to pent up aggression towards them. He also re-enacted abuse towards our hosts during dreams, making her believe they were recurring dreams despite the differences in them. On top of that, we've found written letters from two related alters in a subgroup we have about their relations with said persecutor with drastically different handwritins. At 12, we had or first host change where we started going by a new name online and typing style drastically changed. What once was described as "baby talk" by our friends, it changed into nothing but a high amount of typos. At 13, hosts changed again and the names changed at the same time, due to "bad memories." We started presenting ADHD more inattentively, on top of the continued frequent changes in likes/dislikes, especially in romantic aspects.

Now

I don't want to reveal our age for internet safety. We are still a minor, but our amnesia is still growing the more we age. We also have some alters that are splitting with names, whereas we usually choose them to go by. We go by "Fairy", because it's the name that typically makes us dissociate less even though my (host's) name is Sabrina. We have some alters with heavy southern accents, as we grew up in soutern US but then moved more north. Dissociation is very heavy, which makes me worry what it was like as a child and what it'll be like when we're older (because dissociation tends to lessen as a teen then level out as an adult). We can't remember everyday things a lot of the time when others switch, which often leads to me or one of the other frequent fronters trying to cling to front.

[fqirycollective]

Effects of Trauma Pt. 2

Trauma and the Brain

Trauma, especially childhood trauma, can impact both the physical and social development of the brain. As mentioned in the first part, it can impact the ability to regulate, identify, and express emotions. It can also affect the size and/or functioning of the amygdala (this is actually the part that processes emotions), hippocampus (the part that deals with focus and memory), orbitofrontal cortex (the part that deals with re-inforcement based decision making and emotion regulation), cerebellum (the part that deals with the coordinate motor behavior and executive function), and corpus callosum (the left brain/right brain communication, among other processes). As you can see, there are a lot of parts of the brain that gets affected by trauma.

Effect on the IQ

This was taken from a singular study, so this is by no means 100% fact. In this study, abandonment and personal identity traumas (like sexual abuse) produced a direct negative impact on IQ, while secondary traumas tended to have a positive impact. Collective identity traima (like oppression) didn't have a positive or negative impact. PTSD components (re-experiencing, arousal, avoidance, and dissociation) also impacted IQ. Re-experiencing and arousal indicated more negative impacts, while avoidance and dissociation had more positive effects. However, trauma had a significant negative impact overall in all the of the IQ components.

Physical Effects

Some of these are common in all types of trauma, while some are more common in certain types. (Ex: Neglect increases probability for diabetes, poor lung functioning, and vision/oral problems.) Just because you experienced trauma doesn't mean you'll experience these. These effects have just been noted to be more common in trauma survivors.

- Diabetes

- Lung disease

- Malnutrition

- Vision problems

- Functional limitations

- Heart Attack

- Arthritis

- Back problems

- High blood pressure

- Brain damage

- Migraine headaches

- Chronic bronchitis, emphysema, and/or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease

- Cancer

- Stroke

- Bowel disease

- Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Psychological/Behavorial Effects

- Diminished executive function and cognitive skills

- Poor mental and emotional health

- Attachment and social difficulties

- Unhealthy sexual practices

- Juvenile deliquency leading to adult criminality

- Alcohol and other drug use

- Future perpetration of abuse

Responses from Instagram

Agoraphobia, feeling isolated even with good relationships, joint pain, paranoia, comorbid disorders, frequent nightmares, flashbacks, emotional numbness, hypervigilance, feeling heavy and trapped within yourself, fatigue, obscure triggers not being taken seriously, body aches, mood swings, fear of places the trauma happened, keeping others' emotions in check and feeling guilty for them, bedwetting, thinking everything is your fault and that you should be punished for it, emotional and developmental stunting, night terrors, self harm, catatonia-like states, acting ages you aren't, not knowing if something is normal or if it's related to trauma, feeling like you should have had it worse/it's not enough to be considered trauma/others had it worse, dissociation and feeling like you're living in a cloud, even smaller triggers causing a domino-like effect to causing bigger problems, rerouting your life around trauma/triggers etc.

To Non-Trauma Survivors

Hi! This is a glimpse of what people who have experienced trauma often go through on a daily basis. I highly suggest reading the first part of this mini-series as it goes over what trauma is and the responses of it that often carry over into a person's everyday life.

[fqirycollective]

Effects of Trauma Pt. 1

What is trauma?

Trauma is any experience that poses a threat to someone's physical or emotional safety. We often have certain things we think about when we think of what trauma is (eg: physical/sexual abuse, war), but it can also be other types of abuse, high-crime environments, oppression, bullying, etc. Anything that can make a person feel unsafe can be trauma, although not all those experiences will make someone develop PTSD. Two people who go through the same thing may have different reactions, such as one develops PTSD whereas one doesn't.

Fight, Flight, Fawn, or Freeze?

These are the four trauma responses that are noted in people. Fight and flight are the most commonly known, as they present in other circumstances as well (like in anxiety). They come from the brain's natural desire to survive, causing chemicals in the brain to release (adrenaline is one of them) and pushing you into survival mode. In the fight version of survival mode, you'll try to fight back against the situation (think if you're confronted by a lion, in the fight response, you would try to fight it). Flight is the response where you try to run away from the situation (think running from the lion). Fawn is kind of like trying to appease to the situation, like appeasing to abusers to avoid further abuse. Freeze is when your body/mind freezes, not doing anything to try and prevent it but instead protecting yourself more internally. You can experience multiple of these, and it's likely it'll change based on the situation.

Response Examples

Fight response examples would include: anger outbursts, insulting/mocking/taunting/shaming, becoming aggressive, easily reactive, always feels as though you're threatened, feeling shameful after outbursts, and/or "talking back" to authority figures

Flight response examples would include: chronic rushing or "always going", feeling uncomfortable even when still, energy spent managing things around you, fear of commitment/abruptly ending relationships, easily feeling trapped, making plans to avoid downtime, throwing yourself into work/achievement, being distracted, and/or often presenting as anxiety/panic attacks

Fawn response examples would include: avoiding conflict, going along with others' beliefs (even if not your own), dissociation, letting others make decisions, fearing saying "no", overly polite/agreeable, hyperawareness of others' needs and emotions while betraying your own, and/or relying on others to solve problems

Freeze response examples would include: feeling completely numb, shutdown, complete avoidance, hiding out from the world, procrastination, inability to make even small decisions, endless social media scrolling/binge watching, and/or confusion over what's real and imagined

Disorders caused by trauma

Trauma itself isn't a disorder, but it leads to many. The most commonly known one is PTSD, but there are many more. Depression, anxiety, C-PTSD, substance abuse disorders, somatoform and somatization disorders, eating disorders, psychosis, Acute Stress Disorder, adjustment disorders, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder, personality disorders, dissociative disorders, etc. are all linked to trauma, although not all are only caused by trauma.

Trauma's Effect Years Later

Trauma impacts the ability to identify, regulate, and express emotions and can have a significant impact on the individual's core identity. This is because during those events, the brain doesn't know how to feel. Obviously it feels scared and in need for survival, but there's also hope to survive, anger that it happens, sadness, etc. With all those conflicting emotions at once, the brain gets overwhelmed. This is why dissociation is so common in trauma survivors. We and many other people have noticed that we tend to dissociate more when we're safe, which didn't make sense for the longest time. However, we finally put it together. During trauma, the brain becomes used to being in the high-stress state, so used to it in fact that it sometimes finds the non-stressful things even more stressful. Your brain wants to stick with what it knows, so it feels the peace and safety is a threat.

[fqirycollective]

Hello. I accidentally started fronting and I did not know I was even apart of a system. To make matters worse I am a robot and I do not know what going on. I believe I am ‘front stuck’ and I am very much confused

Hi! I think you should probably ask a friend of the system's. I don't know your or the best way to help, whereas someone who knows you better probably would. You could also try to make a system journal that helps explain what's going on for anyone else who may front and not know.

[fqirycollective]

Dear Younger Systems...

The label "System"

Don't be so quick to call yourself a system. OSDDID is a heavily stigmatized disorder and is far from fun. Don't be so quick to give yourself such a stigmatized label. There are many, many disorders to consider before OSDDID, such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, etc. A lot of you are younger than 16, meaning the disorder likely hasn't presented itself very much. However for the other disorders I mentioned, it's much more likely. Not only are they not as stigmatized, but they're much more common and present younger much more often. Being a younger teen specifically leaves you impressionable to being wrong, especially with the identity issues being a younger teen brings. The only disorders often confused with OSDDID that I don't suggest looking at before is personality disorders.

Track your symptoms

For everything good, please track your symptoms!! If you don't experience dissociation and slight identity changes, you aren't a system. Those two things are required, but so many people will assume they're a system because their personality changes around different people. That's called an alter ego!! But you can't know if you experience these things without tracking. Even if you believe you're a system, you shouldn't stop tracking symptoms because you may learn of a disorder that explains your symptoms better.

Don't cling to the diagnosis

This applies to every person who has self diagnosed with something. After diagnosis, you shouldn't cling too much either as there's always possibility to be wrong, but it's even more important with self diagnosis. As I said, as you're younger, you're mlre impressionable and you'll likely give into some type of internal bias easier. Especially if OSDDID is the first disorder you look into. When someone suggests other disorders to look into, research them! I'm not saying you aren't a system, or that you should listen to fakeclaimers. I'm saying you can't be so sure you're a system whenever I try to help you. I've actually had conversations with younger systems that have told me I was downright wrong for suggesting the possibility they weren't systems but maybe instead had another disorder. Please stop being so sure of yourself that you refuse to continue researching, tracking symptoms, and continue to argue with people for saying the facts because you're so attached to a diagnosis that it becomes apart of you. It's not healthy.

Statistics

This is the part that's really going to piss people off. In order to know about your system before the age of about mid to late 16, you would have to be overt as a child, although it doesn't necessarily mean other people have to recognize the overtness as it can be more inwards. Only 6% of *adults* (as most research is in adults) are overt, so the probablity of you being overt as a younger teen is highly improbable. There are some instances where overtness is more likely, such as in C-DID systems as everything is "higher" in them (from observation, I've noticed they've tended to be more overt in childhood but that's obviously not the case for every complex system). If you believe you're a system as a younger teen but aren't overt in the slightest or know everything about your system, especially without professional help, I highly suggest you take a break from the system community. Obviously symptoms won't just get worse on your 16th birthday, they gradually worsen, but as a younger system, it's very unlikely that you will know for sure until you're an adult (as symptoms will have had time to "develop").

Safety

Another part that will piss people off. Source calls aren't safe, even for adult systems. Partner application accounts shouldn't even exist. It's a breeding ground for pedophilia, grooming, and overall abusive behavior because guess what? People can lie. It's also easier to be catfished by a system, in my opinion, as any inconsistancies can be played off as other alters. Not to mention, it's hella romanticizing to use these types of accounts or even make partner applications in general as it lowkey (or highkey) gives off the vibe that "it's a 'disorder' people use to date many other people," which is far from the truth. Sharing any triggers, positive or negative, with people you aren't super close with is dangerous. Sharing your legal name is dangerous, especially if they connect you with being a system with how traumatized you already are. Putting things such as dick/bra sizes, sub/dom, etc. is highly sexualizing and can make it more likely for the things mentioned above. Just practice normal online safety.

Final Thoughts

This post was aimed at systems 15 or younger. This is not a post to fakeclaim, only to educate and help. Do not cling to a self diagnosis of a highly stigmatized disorder at such a young age (or in general). It's very important to keep yourself from doing that. I was that young when I discovered my system, and even with confirmation from everyone close to me except the professionals I work with, I'm still very open to the idea. You have to be some type of overt, to yourself or others, to know at such a young age. Otherwise the symptoms wouldn't be "strong" enough to present properly enough for you to track and line them up. And for the love of god, be safe. I know a couple systems are planning posts on that so I'll leave it to them to elaborate on what I've already said. But remember basic internet safety. As much as we want this to be a safe community, it's not. It's so easy for people to justify bad behavior and blame it on alters.

[fqirycollective]

Reformed Persecutors Informative Post

tw// mentions self harm

What is a persecutor?

A persecutor is an alter role in a system. This role is for a part who harms the system in some way, whether this be by re-enacting trauma (in an intentional way), intentionally harming relationships, etc. A part self harming for whatever reason doesn't necessarily mean they're a persecutor though, as we've had ANPs self harm due to trauma emotions causing them to get depressed, or in order to ground, or by trauma holders following internalized ideas from persecutors. I suppose a more accurate definition for how we define a persecutor is a part who intentionally tries to harm the system in some way.

What is a reformed persecutor?

A reformed persecutor is a persecutor who has reformed from their previous behaviors. Instead of say coping negatively, they've found more positive coping mechanisms. (Only one example, there are plenty other ways this can manifest.) There is a big stigma around persecutors who aren't currently reforming or aren't reformed, but there shouldn't be. Persecutors often exist to hold the angry emotions of being traumatized (an observation, not by any means set fact), even if they don't remember it or think specifically it's why. For the systems that have them, their systems needs them. It's as simple as that. Forcing them to recover before they're ready can lead to a lot more harm than good. In general, it's a healing step persecutors can make.

Advice to recovering persecutors

We asked the only persecutor we've had recover what advice she had for recovering persecutors. She said the best advice she had was to treat it like you would treat recovering from anything else. This means trying to find a reason to recover, not expecting it to happen over night, expecting relapses, etc. She also said that having a friend or someone to rely on can help a lot, although she wasn't sure if it was specific to her case or not. She also says not to push reformation, as it may cause persecutors to cling to the harmful habits they have. Add any other advice in the comments!

Our Experience

We've had one fully reformed persecutor. Her name is Bria, she's a teenager, and she's a trauma holder. In a nutshell, she was a persecutor who would intentionally try to sabotage our relationships without other people out of fear. Because of such differing opinions of people (specifically friends), she was one of the alters we first were able to identify. Her mindset was basically "I'll make them leave before they leave me." She was able to do that, except to the ones who suspected our system. They stayed, but avoided interaction with her if they knew she was in front. She realized how lonely it made us, and even her moreso, and slowly started coming to terms that she wasn't protecting us the way she thought she was. The next time she fronted, we found a drafted apology in our notes that we think she sent to all the people she harmed. Not that we hadn't apologized, but she wanted to as well. We've even been able to rebuild some of those relationships.

That had a lot of backstory, but she's given us permission to share it. She says it gives an example of a way/reason persecutors may want to reform. We're currently in the process of helping a different persecutor reform, and she's decided to follow a similar process to Bria with the making friends thing and making apologies. One final note: Don't force a reformation. For example, a trauma re-enacting persecutor being stopped without reformation may cause more that are "more capable" of re-enacting that trauma to split. Demonization may also push them away from reformation.

[fqirycollective]

Self Care During Splitting

As a complex system currently in stressful environments, we split rather frequently. We also know that a lot of systems in the community still live in traumatizing environments, so splits are also common-ish there. As such, I decided to make a post self care while splitting because it's usually when systems are at their most vulnerable (at least we are).

What is self care?

Self care is simply doing something nice for yourself. A lot of people tend to think that in order to do self care, you have to have some type of face mask, get a massage, etc. to be doing self care, but that's not the case. Pretty much anything can be self care, assuming you're doing it for yourself. This includes a bath, taking a nap, drawing something, playing games, etc.

What is splitting?

Splitting is the process of a new alter being formed. There isn't a set idea of how it happens, because of different interpretations of studies and such, but the general idea is that it's when the brain puts up another dissociative barrier to create a new alter. Splits never happen for no reason. Sometimes splits don't have a known reason to the fronter (ex: maybe an ANP seeing a trigger and not being emotionally connected to it, or internal trauma re-enactment causing a split), but there's always a reason. Splits occur when new emotions and information can't be processed and contained properly by pre-existing alters.

1. Comfort Shows

We tend to watch comfort shows while splitting. Because a lot of our comfort shows are shows typically made for younger children, they're rarely (if ever) triggering so they prevent us from getting more triggered and provide a sense of comfort at the same time. Because of watching while splitting, we have a lot of introjects from them because it's absolutely a way we cope with trauma and stressful situations. Oftentimes, we'll pair this with eating a comfort food.

2. Daydreaming

This sometimes does more harm than good, as we sometimes think about the thing causing us to split and causing more distress. However, sometimes we're able to make it into something more positive (ex: focus more on relationships than plot thay may be triggering). Basically, try this with caution as it may end up more harmful than helpful.

3. Music

Music helps us get our mind off things and focus on something else. It also aids in calming us down and changing our mood, so this is one we also use often. I think this might be one of the ones we use most often due to the almost constant availability. This lowkey ties into the one about comfort shows, as a lot of the music we listen to comes from them.

4. Taking a nap

Overall, the dissociation it takes to split and the cause of the split (for whatever reason) can cause a hell of a lot of exhaustion so it can be helped by taking a nap. It allows our mind a chance to take a break and rest, allowing for a reset of some kind. Half the time, we're done splitting by the time we wake up. Obviously we aren't always done, but at that point we'd go and make a comfort food before watching a comfort show.

[fqirycollective]

ADHD and Systems

What is ADHD?

ADHD stands for Attention Deficient Hyperactive Disorder. It is a neurological disorder caused by lack of dopamine to the prefrontal cortex, although some brain scans have found that some parts of pwADHD's brains are larger than other parts, contributing to the brain structure. Due to this, you must be born with ADHD. ADHD is *not* caused by trauma, although some trauma symptoms may present similarly (ex: difficulty focusing, hypervigilence being confused for hyperactivity).

What is a system?

A system is a person with OSDDID or P-DID, although not all people with these disorders may want to be called systems. You can only have one of these disorders, although may have subsystems that present with the other disorders if you have DID. These disorders are caused by repetitive childhood trauma causing compartmenalization of ego states and dissociative barriers raising between them. There has been no real study proving otherwise, beyond self reports.

Does ADHD mean more likely to be a system?

I'd say it's more correlation and not causation that so many systems are, although I can link certain aspects to ADHD that may make it "more likely." For example, RSD in ADHD and emotional dysregulation in autism may make it harder for a child to cope with the negative emotions beyond the typical self soothing activities children often use. This, as well as the fact that neurodivergents are often bullied for showing their symtpoms so if school isn't a safe place and out of school isn't safe, this may lead to the need for dissociation.

On top of this, maladaptive daydreaming is extremely common in both pwADHD and trauma survivors and more likely to be a pwADHD's coping mechanism for trauma than a neurotypical who possibly has other outlets. Maladaptive daydreaming is a form of dissociation, however without the trauma, the level of dissociation needed isn't enough to create a system. This is purely oberservation and theory, as I don't have sources to back this up. This is taken from the idea of being more likely to have a harder time coping and the likeliness to rely on maladaptive daydreaming (dissociation) to help do so.

Presentation

There are three different presentations of ADHD: the hyperactive type, the inattentive type, and the combined type. It's a common misconception that a system can only experience one type, but that's not the case. Because the types are all caused by the same thing, the symptoms are just different combinations of how you can experience the disorder (think of this like you would with different symptoms of say BPD or something). So some alters may present more inattentively, some may present more hyperactively, regardless of which type a system may be diagnosed with. For example, we're diagnosed with ADD (outdated term for inattentive), but Sabrina is a lot more hyperactive. Since presentations can change even in singlets, there's no reason why they can't vary between alters.

Does ADHD = more introjects?

This is another misconception. Again, this is more correlation than causation. The only reason I've ever been able to think of as to why this is true is if a system is hyperfixated on something. Not because of the hyperfixation itself, but since it takes up so much of their time, it's likely they'll consume it while splitting and because the brain sees it as a way for them to cope with whatever caused the split, they may introject from it. This is also the case with autism, by the way. And this also just a hypothetical observation, as it's definitely more correlation than causation. It's the only reason I can think of thay systems with ADHD seem to have more introjects than systems without ADHD.