#&qued up /.

[punk-o-ween]

USA, LA specifically, you r gonna have to have the most earth shattering, jaw dropping, toe curling, head banging, queerest, amazing-ist, opening and closing ceremony ever. bc paris ATE THIS SHIT UP 100%

[pastelshroomsbasement]

Goofy svsss au where qqq is also a transmigrator!!!

[xinyuehui]

But I'm injured 🥺

长乐曲 · Melody of Golden Age · 2024

[crazydaymycrazyway]

Xie Lian, accidentally getting drunk: Fuck, I wanna die!

Mei Nianqing: Your Highness, watch your language!

Xie Lian: Hickity Heck! I crave death!

[antianakin]

It's really interesting to go back and look at the Jedi Apprentice series and see just how well that series actually did at showcasing how Qui-Gon's trauma from Xanatos impacts him in a negative way. There's SO MUCH fear on Qui-Gon's end about causing another apprentice to go dark because he missed it the first time. He loved Xanatos so much and can't quite come to grips with how he MISSED all of the possible signs of Xanatos going dark which means it MUST have been his fault, he must have been the one who failed, because nothing else makes sense. And so he rejects all other apprentices, even one who desperately needs him, because he genuinely believes these children are better off without him as their guide.

And even when he chooses to take Obi-Wan on out of a sense of obligation and maybe a little bit of himself starting to return and listen to the will of the Force, he's distant. He doesn't know EXACTLY what went wrong with Xanatos, but he still blames himself, so he's just doing everything differently this time around. Instead of being warm and affectionate, he's more cold and aloof, withholding a lot of his praise and validation even when we can see that he's thinking it. And of course this has the effect of deeply hurting Obi-Wan who is already suffering from the insecurity over not having been chosen at all and a lack of understanding where Qui-Gon's behavior actually comes from. Obi-Wan, like Qui-Gon, can do nothing but blame himself in order to make sense of what's happening. This obviously isn't Qui-Gon's intention at all and he doesn't even realize he's doing it, but it is an undeniable effect of his behavior on Obi-Wan.

And then Melida/Daan happens and Obi-Wan leaves, but he also ultimately chose to STAND DOWN rather than actually fight Qui-Gon. He comes close, and then makes a DIFFERENT choice to Xanatos. And in the wake of leaving Obi-Wan behind, Qui-Gon is left to just think back over their brief relationship and see things differently. Because he DOES care about Obi-Wan, of course he does, his behavior was literally done specifically out of an effort to try to KEEP Obi-Wan from turning Dark the way he'd done to Xanatos. It was a massively misguided effort, obviously, but he did believe that this was the only way to avoid that particular outcome for Obi-Wan if he was stuck with Qui-Gon as a teacher.

And then Obi-Wan calls for aid. And Qui-Gon has to start to let go of that fear in order to answer that call. Xanatos would never call for help. Xanatos would never admit weakness or failure. With Xanatos, this would be a trap. But Qui-Gon never seems to even question whether Obi-Wan is being genuine, because he does recognize by this point that Obi-Wan is NOT Xanatos. Obi-Wan's reasons for leaving Qui-Gon on Melida/Daan are borne out of compassion for a people he connected to, not anger or hatred at Qui-Gon himself. So Qui-Gon sets everything aside and goes to help Obi-Wan and the people of Melida/Daan. He does his job. And even here, in the wreckage of their relationship, there seems to be a marked difference in how they interact. Qui-Gon is professional, but kind towards Obi-Wan in a way we haven't seen before. It seems like Qui-Gon might be seeing Obi-Wan for who he is for the first time.

And when it's done, Obi-Wan asks to rejoin the Jedi at Qui-Gon's side. Qui-Gon at this point recognizes the harm he's done to Obi-Wan and still believes Obi-Wan is better off without him, though perhaps for new reasons, but he also firmly believes Obi-Wan deserves to be a Jedi and agrees to bring him back to the Temple so he can make his case to the Council. He's not scared of Obi-Wan anymore, he's not scared that he'll turn Obi-Wan dark, he just isn't certain they're particularly well-matched or that the relationship can survive the damage he's already done to it. It's the beginning of mindfulness on Qui-Gon's end.

But when they return, things are a mess and it's not a good time for Obi-Wan to make that case of his to the Council. He tries, but the Council are understandably a little wary about Obi-Wan's motivations and commitment to the Order. Qui-Gon is preoccupied with Xanatos's attack on the Temple and cannot help Obi-Wan through this, but Obi-Wan sets his own issues aside to insist on helping Qui-Gon. He has nothing to lose, so he may as well do what he can. By the time Xanatos finally falls into that acid pit, Qui-Gon has let go. He's accepted Xanatos made his own choices and that nothing Qui-Gon could've said or done would have changed that. Xanatos is not Qui-Gon's failure. Xanatos struggled for reasons Qui-Gon never could've done anything about. He couldn't help Xanatos. But he CAN help Obi-Wan. He WILL fail Obi-Wan if he can't let go of his own fears and be the master Obi-Wan needs him to be.

And there's just such CLEAR changes in Qui-Gon over the course of just the first 7 books. From someone who just suffers under that weight of guilt to someone who cares really desperately about this child he's taken on and fears showing it to someone who is actually READY to take care of this child. He's not perfectly healed by any means, nor is their relationship, but the first steps have been taken. And the drastic changes in their relationship are there, they are clear. Qui-Gon is genuinely cold towards Obi-Wan more than once early on, so it's really easy to believe why Obi-Wan gets so caught up in the conflict on Melida/Daan and would choose to stay with them rather than go back to someone he believes doesn't truly want him. But because we can see through Qui-Gon's eyes, as well, we can see that Qui-Gon DOES care, he absolutely does, he's just TERRIFIED and covering it up with this distance he's put between himself and Obi-Wan. So when he starts coming around to Obi-Wan after Melida/Daan, it doesn't come out of nowhere. We KNOW why he's able to start changing his mind, we KNOW he cared before even if Obi-Wan does not. And he finally allows himself to begin to show it to Obi-Wan, in little ways at first, and then more as the relationship keeps developing into further books.

And it's just REALLY compelling as an arc because the series goes to great pains to show both sides of the conflict, the before and the after, and really emphasize what's going on inside these characters' heads so that the complexities of what's happening actually make sense and have a sense of direction. Qui-Gon is not a monster, but the hurt he causes Obi-Wan is still very real. Obi-Wan is not selfish, but his fears do cause him to make mistakes himself. They BOTH have to learn to let go of their fears and attachments before they can connect to each other in a meaningful way.

[missinglaterals]

Get QUbed you idiot...

[zel-zo]

Reaching out again

---------------------

My partner said i should post this hsfkljd 💛

[minteetho-art-archive]

how do we feel about this possibility 8:11 fandom

[acourtofquestions]

Elide: Don’t let Aelin fool you she used to do ballet.

Lorcan: No way.

Aelin: Which gave me the physical skills I need to strangle you with my feet.

[struggle-bugg]

lissa and lon’qu family for lon’qu’s birthday 💚

[therottenkingsreckoning]

Ok yea, All Tomorrows is pretty fucking cool. Feels like Kosemen looked at the sci fi trope of "all the aliens are just Humans but Weird" and went "wait but what if we do that unironically"

[twcfaces]

@qu-tipie

"Sometimes I don't know if my meds are getting screwy or if I'm just... feeling how normal people feel, I guess.

I don't know what it's like to not be crazy - I just know it gets worse and sooner rather than later, Two-Face is demanding blood in the street."

[nostalgia-tblr]

british people problems: after spending your entire life referring to "the queen" in discussions of politcs and government and so on you now have to refer to "the monarch" because you don't want to misgender them but you also don't want to accept that we're probably stuck with male ones until we finally get rid of the cunts for a few generations.

[tytangfei]

all these years, mgtv still providing terrible subs 🥴 it's like I never left 2021

[iquirms]

all i'm saying is that Keith sat on the couch one time while Lance watched something like Bridgerton or Say Yes To The Dress and was like 'this shit sucks Lance, why're you watching this?' and then like five minutes later he'd be raging cause the Duke didn't want to marry Daphne or because the bride went like 30k over the budget. He's the classic boyfriend who says he doesn't like his partners tv shows, and then stands behind the couch for like thirty minutes to make sure he doesn't miss anything.

[sharkgirldick]

It's my birthday today (woo!) but I'm gonna be busy most of the day today.

I'll do my best to respond to birthday wishes at least by tonight, though.