#& you know. you KNOW. that izzy is going to commit to stede as his captain now.

[wolfpoets]

just. the vulnerability of it all. izzy post-amputation is vulnerable: he's so weak he can barely stand, even with someone else holding him up. it would be impossible for him to care for himself in this state, let alone pull his weight on a working ship, and you know the enormity of the situation is not lost on izzy. i'm sure he strongly believes the crew should have killed him.

but they don't. they keep him alive. they find him a crutch (as undignified as a mop for a crutch may be). they make him a wooden leg. i'm sure they insist on cleaning his wound, changing his bandages. fang or frenchie or both are glued to his side constantly, supporting him, allowing him to walk. he is so utterly dependent on them now.

which is why it makes sense for him to be so fiercely protective of them when stede shows up. he snarls and growls and provokes, desperately hoping stede will take whatever anger he may have out on izzy, and not on the crew. he pleads for them, defends them. nothing was their fault. we did this to ed, not them. leave them be.

because izzy owes the crew a life debt, now, and he intends to pay it in full.

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

How ‘Our Flag Means Death’ Became the Funniest Show on TV

Creator and showrunner David Jenkins breaks down the new season of TV’s most adorable star-crossed pirates.

Our Flag Means Death debuted in March 2022 to respectable viewership numbers that grew. And grew. And grew some more. With each week of its 10-episode run, viewership increased, eventually tripling its original audience. The little gay pirate workplace and romantic comedy-cum-historical fantasy that could is back for a second season on Max, and fans will be glad to know that piracy power couple Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) and Ed Teach, aka Blackbeard (Academy Award winner Taika Waititi) won’t be parted for long.

The first season of Our Flag Means Death introduced viewers to fictional versions of the real historical figures Stede Bonnet (aka The Gentleman Pirate) and Blackbeard, as well as their respective crews. The two captains instantly forged an unlikely connection. Stede, who decided to exorcize his midlife crisis by abandoning his family and taking to the seas, despite being at best a piracy novice, hero-worships Blackbeard and is thrilled to make his acquaintance. The fearsome Blackbeard, who among friends goes by his real first name, Ed, is taken with Stede’s commitment to enjoying the finer and frillier things in life, marveling at his new friend’s on-ship library and massive, beautiful wardrobe.

While the two captains are an odd couple, each of their crews regards the other as an entirely different species. Aboard the Revenge, Stede reads bedtime stories to his crew and encourages them to use their words when conflicts emerge, while on Blackbeard’s ship, Ed’s first mate Izzy Hands (a deliciously scowling, jealous Con O’Neill) rants that his captain is now a shell of the terrifying legend he used to be. Over time, Blackbeard’s crew begin to appreciate the healthier work-life culture on the Revenge, where there’s room for romantic and collegial dyads to form and pair off.

Of course, the path of true love never runs smooth even for a couple as invested in each other as Stede and Ed. At the end of the first season, the crews are split between ships and land, and Ed believes Stede has permanently abandoned their relationship for his original family, causing a heartbroken Ed to revert to his fearsome Kraken persona. As the second season opens, Stede is frantically trying to get back to Ed and explain that he’s all in on their relationship. Ed’s behavior has been swinging erratically from depressed to murderous, even toward Izzy, and when the two captains and crews meet again, there’s an extra twist: Stede and company have been co-opted by the far more capable and successful Chinese Pirate Queen, Zheng Yi Sao (Ruibo Qian).

On the eve of the second season’s three-episode premiere, creator and showrunner David Jenkins reflected on the series’ approach to workplace dynamics, male friendships and romance, and the character arcs he’s most excited for fans to see.

The first three episodes of the season premiere feature a bunch of breakups and reshuffling of romantic and work relationships—not just Stede and Ed. Were you chasing anything in particular, narratively, by splitting up so many dyads?

Definitely. To watch the effects of Stede and Blackbeard’s relationship reverberate through everybody's lives is so interesting. Their separation doesn’t just happen to the two of them, it’s happening to all of them, because they’re a family. Just as the breakup reverberated throughout both crews, getting back together is going to do the same thing.

That makes sense.

The goal was just being true to the character beats and finding ways to make them ring true. Oluwande (Samson Kayo) and Jim (Vico Ortiz, they/them) are friends who got romantic. It rang true to me that they’d watch each others’ lives move forward, and then come back together to find that they still care about each other, and each of them is also happy for the other person. I've seen that happen in real life a bunch of times, but I don't see that dramatized a lot. I think there should be a lot of different flavors of relationships in this show. And there's so many different pairings that you get a lot of chances to be like, “Oh, how are these two different from Stede and Ed?”

How does that relate to your interest in exploring tenderness and vulnerability in male characters? In previous interviews, you’ve referred to Our Flag Means Death as examining the burlesque of masculinity. What does it bring to your work to be exploring it over the course of many hours of storytelling?

That’s an area where Taika’s and my interests overlap a lot. There’s something so understated about his sensibility—I think some of it derives from his New Zealand accent, actually—that suits asking questions about masculinity. And it's fun to look at pirate stories, to play against that genre’s whitewashed, heteronormative conventions. Growing up as a guy, you get a lot of pressure to be just one type of a guy, the guy who refuses to feel things. Men are in terrible trouble in that way. We’re getting better about talking about feelings, but there’s so much more to cover—body dysmorphia, vulnerability, not just talking about feelings, but understanding them and having this whole range of emotions—those are always the things I want to watch.

Do you have favorites among on-screen stories that make room for a broader emotional palette?

Heat and Midnight Run are two really lovely Robert De Niro movies where characters have these very big emotional lives. It’s a similar thing with Robert Redford and Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I like extending that. We can push it further, because there's so many different ways to be a man! Not everything has to be a shoot ’em up action thing where people don’t have feelings. A lot of men feel like they need permission to just be their weird selves, to be funny, to dress differently. Try some different things! Maybe wear a color! Put some product in your hair! Don't worry about it, it's gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine.

Our Flag Means Death is not a casual show. It’s very funny and playful! But there is not one single frame of the show that plays it cool. As an artist, what’s the significance of qualities like sincerity and earnestness?

I hate coolness, it’s so ungenerous. And I like that you said that it’s not casual. I’m not a casual guy. This is a deeply uncool show. There’s something so special about seeing comedic actors like Rhys or Taika, who are so used to coming into a scene, being incredibly funny and destroying, and then leaving, having to use their earnestness, and not using their weapon of immediately diffusing it by going for a laugh. When I see that, it makes my heart leap. There’s something particularly special about seeing a comedic actor do it.

It’s really fun to watch comedic actors dispel the notion that dramatic acting is 180 degrees away from comedic acting.

Characters that call for that type of performance are a lot of what I love about Robert Altman, Christopher Guest, and Harold Ashby movies. They’re comedies, but those characters really grow and they experience pain, and the pain they feel is real. And then the funny shit that they do is even funnier because of it. Those are the things that bring me the most joy.

Tell me about Zheng Yi Sao, the Pirate Queen. She’s such a good foil for Ed and Stede—her ambition, competence, and leadership style are all so distinct from theirs.

Zheng Yi Sao is the most competent pirate captain on our show, and was the most successful pirate captain in history. She lived about 100 years apart from these fellas, and she was so successful that China had to cut her in and do a treaty with her so she would move on to some other field. She wound up making another fortune in gambling!

One thing that jumped out at me in these first three episodes of the season is how much therapy-literate dialogue is used—where did that come from?

I just think it's funny. The thing about a workplace is that they all see everything that’s going on with others, because they're all on top of each other all the time. I don't want to go l too far with it, but it’s fun that some of these characters can see that one of their friends is in a weird relationship with his boss, and then say “hey, you might want to look at that.”

Where do you think that comes from for the characters themselves?

There’s a level of care on that ship that Stede almost infected them with in the first season, and now those ideas are more alive because of how Stede built the Revenge’s culture. You can see that that spirit is still kind of alive when Jim tells the story of the wooden boy to Bang to calm him down. That’s a little bit of Stede’s kindness being alive in the world still, and of Jim needing and being able to call on it now that everything’s so dark. For them to go from an “every person for themselves” ethos to thinking “there was a time when life meant something on this ship, it doesn’t have to be this way” is interesting growth for the character, and is true to Vico as a person. There's a real kindness to how they carry themselves—they’re one of those people that just makes everybody feel safe. It’s nice to see some of those character traits bleed through to Jim.

Without getting too spoilery, what’s coming up over the rest of this season that you can’t wait for viewers to see?

I’m really excited for Izzy’s journey. Con O’Neill did such beautiful work, and getting to see where that character goes and how he grows, I think is one of the most exciting things of the season. To see where Ed and Stede’s relationship goes is gratifying—to see how they navigate each other and find, hopefully, a more mature way of being together.

Jim's relationships with Archie (Madeleine Sami) and Olu develop, too, and more broadly, the crew coming together as a new kind of family, now that Mom and Dad are getting back together. I also like that Lucius (Nathan Foad) is back, and has an angry young man thing going on that he has to process. For Lucius to go through something really harrowing and have to grow up with it is so interesting, because he had all the answers in the first season.

We can’t not talk about the mermaid sequence at the end of the second episode. How did that come about?

We really have to pick our shots on the show, so that was very storyboarded out. I knew I wanted Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work” for the scene, so that was incorporated in it. Unfortunately, Rhys had had a really bad near-drowning experience shooting in a tank before, but I didn’t know that until we were working on the stunts! But when Rhys saw the gorgeous tail, and it looked so cool and beautiful, he decided to go for it. He knew the scene was going to look awesome. So he navigated that costume, which is basically a big flipper that he needed to move his entire core to make it work, and Taika’s there with all this glue to keep his wig on underwater all day. When it’s humming and all the departments are working, everyone feels safe. It gives everyone a feeling of “let’s do it—let’s jump in!”

Speaking of jumping in, what degree of pressure did you all feel coming into the second season, knowing how high the expectations were from the show’s incredibly passionate fan base?

I don’t feel pressure from the fans, I just feel unconditional love and acceptance, and I think that the writers room feels that too. We all want it to be good, and we want the storylines to be cool. But it’s less pressure, and more just the level of freedom that it gave us, knowing somebody’s watching. It makes doing all the hard work a joy, because you know it’s going to be appreciated. Some people will have critiques, and that’s fine.

I just know that this—the fan reaction to this show—will be the honor of my career. The fan community is so kind and nice and talented—it's just a good vibe, and it’s been safe and affirming for everyone.

We’re all basking in the glow of the adoration of the show from our fanbase. It’s infectious—when we all get together, it saturates every element of the show, and it's a very special thing for all of us.

Source: The Daily Beast

[melvisik]

OFMD S2 SPOILERS

This is complete self indulgence (but then, this is Tumblr, and there is an analysis towards the bottom). Just reiterating how notable the merman scene is, both from the practical way it was done and the metaphorical significance. But first to preface with a confession: I seek out spoilers, so with the prior expectation of seeing a merman!Stede, it was fairly obvious he was going to show up at this particular moment. Honestly not sure how this could be handled without disclosure. That knowledge or lack thereof is absolutely a contributing factor on the 'cringe' element. It can seem a little cringe, mostly from the fact we got something so outlandishly unexpected at a beautifully critical moment. But Stede is a cringe person:

And besides, as far as unusual things happening at emotional scenes, last season we had this:

Here is poor Edward Teach spilling his heart out, and Stede is presenting a much different air than the situation might call for. It didn't feel inauthentic per se (that is legit moment of confusion), but the atmosphere for a scene in an emotionally charged, key-point moment of a character's story arc just felt a little off (in my opinion anyway).

But you know what? This is a comedy. And as far as the performance goes, from what we've seen so far, Rhys Darby charges into any situation with stalwart commitment and full steam ahead, no matter how cringeworthy the risk.

And that includes donning a shimmering fish tail, grabbing a trident, and swimming in a large water tank to smile at the camera.

Major props to him for that, it takes guts.

(Also, it's just frickin cool to try out a gorgeously decked out merperson tail. Lucky sunuvabitch...)

Plus, as so many others have pointed out, the metaphor is just breathtaking. It's not just about the show being a comedy and playing off the strangeness of a merman showing up, but it's about what the scene represents. Hold on now, this is gonna be a long one... During that kiss on the beach, Stede Bonnet was so much of what Edward Teach has been yearning for in his life. Yes Stede is a representation of the 'finer' things (which Ed's own mother told him he could never have), but he's also kindness, understanding, support, love... things that Edward has more than likely been denied over and over again. For instance- in this tiny moment in his dream sequence, when Ed tries out being Jeff the Innkeeper, the figure of his old captain Hornigold is all for taking it way too seriously, bringing Ed down to face the cruelties of reality.

But in these kinds of scenes, Stede plays with Ed. He is all for Blackbeard's Bar and Grill, and if someone is being a dick and not wanting to go visit the gift shop, he'll be there to give Ed encouragement.

And then there's this:

And this:

Ed vaguely reminds me of Aldonza from Man of la Mancha, which is a whole other analysis, but it's basically a character so beaten down by life that the very concepts of feeling worthy and being treated with kindness are devastating: Blows and abuse, I can take and give back again. Tenderness, I cannot bear. -"Aldonza" from Man of la Mancha. But Ed's vision of Stede seems to represent all the gentleness and sweetness Ed so desperately craves, and when Stede shows up here, he is so happy to see him. First mate 'we've-known-each-other-a-long-time' Izzy Hands flat out tells Ed that he loves him, and this is Ed's reaction:

Because, lest we forget, Izzy told him that he wanted Blackbeard, not Edward, and that Edward better watch his fucking step.

From Ed's point of view, who the hell is the harsh pirate Izzy to tell Edward that he loves him, when all he really seems to love is the persona of Blackbeard? But this is his reaction to the warm, gentle Stede Bonnet, who is supportive of the man Edward Teach and all his vulnerabilities:

Also, within the scene itself, it is so important that Stede doesn't untie the rope from around Ed's waist. Here, this lays it out beautifully:

Edited based on a post I cannot find: This is also a rebirth for Ed - surrounded by wet and darkness, going towards the light, and taking his first new breath (while This Woman's Work plays in the background, a song literally about a problematic birth as the partner feels practically helpless to do anything)...

So it's something Stede can't physically assist with. He can only give Ed support and a little guidance. In summation, as Edward plunges into the depths of despair, literally weighted down by his trauma, here comes this sweet, loving sea creature that is so different from anything he has ever known but has always wanted. Now, this could be problematic, as this season is probably going to delve more into how Ed and Stede see their roles fairly differently, with one ready to move on from the pirate life and the other ready to jump right in. Stede certainly doesn't seem to view himself as a sweet, goldfish merman, as currently he is all about being a swashbuckler.

But for now, Ed's vision met with Stede's heart-wrenching desperation...

...brilliantly highlights how much Ed and Stede mean to each other. And for this sequence, Rhys Darby learned a new skill and was fully present with Taika Waititi (MAJOR props to him also for shooting this underwater moment so frickin beautifully) in one of the most memorable scenes thus far.

Maybe his motivation for doing it was just because merpersoning is a neat thing to do, but the result really meant a lot. To see him there with Taika's Edward in an actual tail, and not just Taika reacting to a body double with a masked over face or a CGI tail that will always be fake no matter how real it looks... Mad respect, man. And thank you. P.S. Also this:

Absolutely. Personally could not be more thrilled that they used practical effects rather than CGI. It shows, OFMD team. It really shows ❤️

[tillychmo]

Holy sh*t, guys I just had a massive brainwave concerning Izzy’s ring on his necktie and what Con told us/let slip about it the other day … !

A timely TRIGGER-WARNING for violence, gore, heartbreak, dubious consent, and torture, before you move on from here.

In episode 109, when Stede is about to be killed by the firing squad, Izzy has his smaller tirade about it being “quick and humane” – on which I have seen multiple takes, usually responding to the fact that it sounds like he is still calling Stede a pet, and referring to him by this animal-coded language. (This was my original take as well. That he was literally comparing 'Stede getting shot by the british' to the humanity of 'putting down your dog, so it doesn't have to suffer'.)

But the brainwave that just hit me is this:

I think – in fact, in spite of this only hitting me like 38 seconds ago, I feel convinced – that these words are not referring to the ‘pet’-thing at all.

Izzy is talking about the love that HE lost.

Think about these lines:

“This is a humane way of ending it. It’s quick. It’s clean. Edward you know that!”

The man/person Izzy loved was killed – in an inhumane, slow, non-clean way. It basically sounds like he was tortured to death.

And I think Ed and Izzy both bore witness to this — that’s why Izzy is saying “Edward you know that!”. He is trying to remind him of the horrors they witnessed when HE lost his one great love. He is trying to protect Ed from going through the agony of what he went through.

(Note: This excuses literally none of Izzy’s actions in s1. I am only talking about how Izzy himself might’ve seen his actions – and what approach Con O’Neill might have had to this specific scene.)

Post-writing edit: The following almost became a very gory one-shot. So please only read on if you’re okay with that. (Same TW as at the beginning — gore, violence, torture, dubious consent, and massive heartbreak.) I wanna be quite clear – this is not entirely what I think happened; this is just what jumped into my head, as I had this brainwave. I am going to be writing a second version of this at some point, where I move A LOT closer to the points already made in canon (especially regarding a named character and a named animal, which does not appear in the one shot underneath here).

ONE SHOT:

I have this vivid image of Ed and Izzy standing in a crowd of pirates – with their captain front and centre, along with this young man who has done something that displeased the captain. The young man is a friend of Ed & Izzy – and he is also Izzy’s great love (though Izzy hasn’t dared to commit to him). It’s a sort of ‘trial’ but there’s nothing fair about it. The young man is being whipped, tortured and beaten – the crowd is excitedly yelling, egged on by a ruthless captain. Izzy keeps wanting to help the young man, but Ed is restraining him, knowing full well that if Izzy does anything that could let the captain know how he feels for the young man, Izzy will be killed too. Both of them feel like their insides are on fire, being forced to watch this. It escalates and the poor young man is turning unrecognisable – misshapen from the violence enforced on his body.

When the captain finally decides it’s time to disperse, the young man is still breathing, though barely. Other pirates are being warned not to go near him, or they’ll “feel the captain’s wrath”. Ed and Izzy are some of the last to leave – their faces dissolved in silent tears and agony for their friend. Ed is holding on to Izzy, to keep him upright on his feet. Izzy has lost all feeling in his body. The deck is covered in blood and water. The air is salty and smells distinctly of iron.

A few hours pass. The captain and the rest of the crew seem merry. Like it’s any other day. A couple of them only half-heartedly so, but they’re still joining in – not wanting to pull attention towards themselves. Ed and Izzy are there too. They’re not joining in, but they’re not sticking out either. Ed made sure they sat down at the corner end of the table – furthest away from their captain, and mostly in shadows. Close to the door, so they can sneak out when they dare to do so. Izzy’s not speaking. Neither is Ed – though he gives a cursory nod here and there to people handing them food and drink. Ed pours a glass of rum and hands it to Izzy, but Izzy grabs the bottle instead, not looking at Ed – not looking at anybody, in fact, but the captain. Ed drinks the rum in the glass himself, as Izzy takes a swig from the bottle.

At some point the captain – full of food and drunk on rum and spirits – starts nodding asleep at the end of the table. The other pirates are rowdy and don’t pay attention to anything other than rum, cards, and drunken singing anymore.

Ed and Izzy take the opportunity to sneak off and see their friend.

It’s after nightfall. As they move outside, they’re met by someone claiming to be standing guard (for sh*ts and giggles let’s hc that it’s Calico Jack – and he’s not actually standing guard over anything, he just went outside to take a leak over the side of the boat and now that he’s seen Ed and Izzy, he wants to see if he can convince either of them to ‘celebrate the night’ (barf, sorry guys, I really hate him 🤢) with a bit’o’buggery …) – neither of them is in the mood for CJ’s sh*t, but they also know that if anyone on this ship would be able to wake the captain from his slumber now, it’d be Calico Jack.

“Nah, man, we just wanted some air —” Ed says, putting a hand on CJ’s shoulder in the hopes of steering him back inside. Calico takes the opportunity to slide underneath Ed’s arm and press himself up against him, grinding his groin against Ed’s hip. Ed sends Calico a ‘flirty’ grin that Jack is too drunk and careless to realise is anything but that. Jack grabs a hold of Ed’s arse, and continues to grind up against him. Ed manages to motion to Izzy that he’ll distract Jack, so Izzy can go to the young man still lying on the deck. Izzy sends Ed a pained expression – but Ed waves him off, annoyed that he’s wasting the precious time Ed is buying him right now.

Izzy managed to sneaks off undetected, as Calico drunkenly leads Ed below deck.

The moon is showering the deck in misty blue-tinted light. As Izzy reaches the furthest end of the deck, he nearly slides on something, looks down and is stopped in his tracks. He has stepped in a trail of thick blood. He follows the trail with his eyes, and is met by the sight of the young man (I’m headcanoning here) – Izzy’s great love – lying before him, motionless and covered in blood, his limbs in horribly awkward positions.

Izzy’s legs give out and he falls to his knees. It’s like the air has been forcibly removed from his lungs.

He tries to take it all in, but everything is clouding his mind. His breath is ragged and the tears are running down his cheeks.

Without thinking about consequences or what would happen if anybody found him, he reaches out, grabbing the nearest part of the young man – his leg. The young man lets out the tiniest whimper of a moan of agony. Izzy’s mind goes into overdrive –

“Felix?? Can you hear me?” he whispers loudly.

The young man stirs and makes a noise in return.

Izzy scrambles – crawling as fast as he can – to reach the part where the young man’s head is lying.

“Felix – I’m here. I’m here. Can you hear me??” Izzy strokes the young man’s head – trying to be gentle, but so out of sorts, hyperventilating and shaking all over, that it’s still a little too rough.

“Ough, I - Iz … is … that you?” the young man somehow manages to get the words out, though it’s clear that it’s costing him everything he has.

“Yeah – yes. It’s – I’m, I’m here,” Izzy smiles through his tears, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere –”. Moving to cradle him in his arms, Izzy’s hanging onto every bit of the young man’s mangled body that he can.

The young man opens one eye as much as possible – the other is too swollen and bruised. He meets Izzy’s eyes and even through the pain there’s a clear moment of recognition between them.

“Hi –” he says softly to Izzy, nearly managing a smile.

“Hi –” an exasperated laugh, through uncountable tears, escapes Izzy, before his hyperventilated breath turns the laughter to sobs, “I’m so sorry – I’m so sorry. I should have done something. I should have been braver. I sh- I should have stood up for you – I-I —”.

“N-no,” the young man’s voice was coming in ragged breaths, “there was n-nothing you cou-could’ve done n-now … n-not when it came t-this f-far …”

The young man rested his head against Izzy’s chest.

“We have to do something, I gotta get you to shore – I gotta —” Izzy was floundering, trying to force reality to make up a way of saving his love.

“I-I’m d-dying, Iz –”

It felt like Izzy’s heart was slowly sliding out of his chest – it only made him act more frantic.

“No. No, you’re not. I won’t allow it – I-I’ll get someone – I’ll …”

“Iz. It’s over.” Felix said in the softest voice, and Izzy stopped in his tracks. The unwavering finality of those words made the hairs on the back of Izzy’s neck stand on end.

He took a breath, before looking up at Felix again.

“Please don’t leave me.” Izzy pleaded.

“I’ll s-see you again …” Felix eyes was starting to slide shut. Izzy was crying in earnest now.

“L-look at me, Israel …” Izzy met Felix’ eye, “I l-love you –”

Izzy’s eyebrows narrowed and for a brief second he closed his eyes in agony at the words. Those words he had never dared utter. Everyone he loved left him. His dad, his mum – and now Felix … But this was the end. He had to say them now, or Felix would never hear it.

Meeting Felix’ eye again, Izzy gathered all his courage and took in a breath, “I lo—”.

But the sentence got quenched on the way out of his mouth, as Felix’ whole body became limp.

“I - Felix?”

Izzy’s brain couldn’t compute. It was like someone had just ripped reality away from under him, and he was floating into the limbo of infinite space.

The he realised what had happened.

Izzy’s eyes widened, staring panicky at the young man in his arms, “Felix?”.

He tried shaking him gently, but no response. He shook him again, a little more desperately, but no response.

He shook him again – and again – and again — every time a little more vigorously, calling out his name, his panicked desperation rising with every shake. But no response.

“Felix? — F-Felix … ?”

The realisation flushed over Izzy and the overwhelming grief hit him like a tidal wave. Crying, his whole body shaking, and his breath a mess of hyperventilated sobs, he grabbed Felix’ limp body and squeezed him as close to him as he would.

“I’m - I’m sorry”, he heaved in a big breath, “I-I’m s-so sorry, F-Felix”, he wailed, crying so hard he could hardly get the words out.

“I l- … I lo- …” Izzy swallowed and kissed Felix’ forehead, “I love y-you.”

Finally saying it, but knowing that Felix couldn’t hear him, made the words feel hollow, even though Izzy knew it was the truth.

“I l-love you.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry sorry, Felix –”

He cradled him closer. He could have sat like this, just holding him, till sunrise if it wouldn’t have been too dangerous for him. But he couldn’t leave him. Not yet. How was he supposed to get up? How was he supposed to leave him here, lying in a pool of blood, knowing full well what would happen when morning came and everyone else, including the captain, woke up. He needed to get up and out of the way. But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t —

“Iz?” a soft voice spoke rang out clearly behind him.

In a panic, Izzy lifted his head and stared in the direction of the sound.

It was Ed. He looked slightly disheveled, and had a concerned look on his face.

“How long were you standing there?” Izzy asked, trying to hold in his crying.

“A little bit …” Ed answered gently and knelt down next to Izzy and looked at Felix with deep sorrow in his eyes.

But the gentleness scared Izzy more than anything. Felix had been gentle. Gentle would get you killed on a pirate ship.

Izzy let Felix slip slowly out of his arms and immediately got to his feet. Without a second glance he just said, “I’m gonna go clean up” and left Ed sitting on the floor next to Felix.

“Iz –” Ed called after him in a whisper. But no response. He turned his head back to Felix.

“I wish this wasn’t the end, my friend. Thank you for everything.” He stroked his left hand over Felix’ hair and placed his right hand on Felix’ chest. Ed sat like this for a moment, before deciding that Felix’s hands should be folded on top of each other.

As Ed placed Felix’ right hand on top of his left, Ed noticed something on Felix’s finger – he stopped for a moment, looking back and glancing after Izzy.

“I recon you’d still want him to have it, wouldn’t you?” Ed asked the body that used to belong to Felix, “yeah, I thought so.”

—

There was a knock on the door.

“Fuck off.” Izzy said annoyed, trying pulling a pair of trousers on his damp legs.

Another knock – and another, slightly more insistent one.

“Fuck OFF!” Izzy shouted incensed, “Can’t a man get a second of peace to take a bath on this fucking ship??”

“I’m not leaving till you open the door.” Ed said calmly from the other side of the door.

Izzy stopped and looked at the door. For a moment incapable of moving.

Then the door unlocked. And Ed looked at Izzy, no more blood on him, and dressed only in his trousers.

“What do you want?” Izzy asked.

“To give you this.”

Ed held out his hand and uncurled his fingers. Resting in the palm of his hand was a ring with a small, green stone. A ring Izzy knew well, because he had held the hand on which it had resided. Izzy’s eyes shot up to meet Ed’s, his expression unreadable.

“What the hell is this?”

“You know what it is.” Ed answered calmly. He knew that this whole situation was too much for Izzy to handle.

“Why the fuck are you giving it to me?” Izzy couldn’t believe that Ed of all people would have dared stealing from Felix like that.

“Because he wanted you to have it.” Ed answered plainly.

Izzy’s mind went blank.

“I’m sorry, what?” Izzy asked breathlessly.

“He wanted you to have it. He told me. A while ago.”, Ed was trying to relay the information as non-emotionally as possible, because he knew Izzy didn’t want it any other way, but Ed’s voice was slightly wobbly, “It was his mum’s ring, and he wanted you to have it.”

Izzy looked at the ring. Swallowed. Took a breath. Swallowed again. Then looked up at Ed.

“What a fucking arsehole.” He said affectionately, quelling the grief that was about to rise to the surface again. He and Ed both chuckled briefly.

Izzy looked back down at the ring in Ed’s hand, holding his gaze on it for a moment. Then swallowed. Ran a hand over the bridge of his nose and over his face, before reaching out and quickly grabbing the ring, as though he didn’t want Ed to see that he took it. He couldn’t even look at Ed.

Izzy reached out his other hand to shut the door again, but stopped it —

“Thank you, Eddie.”

Izzy met Ed’s eyes for the briefest second. The a sob threatened to escape his mouth, and he let the door swing closed.

When Ed saw Izzy the next day, neither of them said a word about the events of the night before.

But Ed saw that Izzy had placed the ring around the knot of his necktie.

The End.

(Literally sharing this within an hour after writing it. And a second version will follow at some point!)

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember 2023 Day 2: Brain Drain

I have committed Our Flag Means Death fanfiction! I am so sorry. Stede/Ed, Ed/Izzy, somehow happy poly and happy metamours making a lovely vee. Takes place in some AU season 2 where the last arc of the season never happened. Izzy is living his best happy masochist life.

Author knows fuck all about ships.

Izzy had gotten much more comfortable spending time with his shipmates since the Calypso's birthday incident.

There was nothing like a round of torture to bring a crew together, he thought.

Tonight the whole group had gathered in the galley under the ship, laughing and chatting long past when they usually went into their quarters for the evening. The sea had been calm that day and the mood was social. Everyone seemed quite relaxed.

Only two members were missing.

Oluwande looked up from his cuddle pile with Jim and Archie. He seemed to have read Izzy's mind. "Hey," he called out to the gathered group, "Has anyone seen the captains this evening?"

"No!" a few people responded.

"Thank God," snarked Black Pete. "Blackbeard...well Ed has been freaking me out. Yelled at me earlier about trimming the sails and you KNOW I keep them the trimmest, babe," he said to his partner Lucius.

"Yeah, he snarled at me when I told him 'hello' earlier," said Archie. "Like this!" She contorted her face into a frankly over-the-top grimace. "Made me nearly jump out of my skin. I may have heard him yell at some seagulls too? Or dolphins?"

Roach looked worried. "Neither captain has come down for dinner, yet," he said.

"Perhaps they are...occupied in the captain's quarters," speculated Izzy.

"Oh? Feeling left out, are you?" joked Frenchie, the little shit. Izzy tactfully ignored him.

Roach replied, still concerned. "Captain Stede will usually come down and request provisions in advance if they're having a long night alone," said Roach. "Thinks he's being sneaky, says they need extra energy 'for planning raids.'"

"My room is below theirs. Trust me, they've not been buggering today," piped up Wee John. "Unless they've learned to be much more quiet about it."

"Maybe they've gotten into a spat and someone's gotten pushed off the ship," spat Lucius. "That'll happen with him, you know."

"OK, that's enough," said Izzy, trying to regain control over the situation as everyone began to talk at once. "You're like gossipy fishwives, all of you. I'll go check on the captains. Make sure Bonnet's not running the ship into a cliff or something."

Izzy climbed up the stairs and started to look around the ship. Ed and Stede weren't in the captain's quarters (being quiet for once). There was no sign of them on the deck. He even craned his neck up to the bird's nest and checked. No captains there.

He finally spotted them at the back of the ship- on a little bit of the stern mostly hidden from view. They were both sitting facing out at the ocean. From a distance, Izzy could see Stede's arm was bent around Ed's shoulder, his hand occasionally reaching up to rock Ed's drooped head into slow, almost imperceptible little circles. Aside from the rocking, Ed's body was remarkably still. It was a huge change from the tense, coiled menace that Ed's frame had carried earlier in the day. Now, he looked almost like a puppet with his strings cut, only responding to Stede's guidance. His arms rested gently besides his legs, lax and pliant.

Izzy could hear Bonnett speaking in a low, soothing voice near Ed's ear but he was too far to make out any words.

Ed had mentioned mesmerism to Izzy before. It was one of the many upperclass daliances that Bonnet had introduced him to- one of those many trifling hobbies that Izzy would never begin to understand the appeal of. Izzy even knew that Bonnet had used his skills on Ed previously. His captain confided that Bonnett's fancy mesmerism routine had helped him find quiet during his not-infrequent emotional storms, that it evened out his seemingly uncontrollable highs and lows. In Izzy's mind, he had pictured the whole thing looking quite comical- Bonnett with wiggly fingers staring daggers into Ed's eyes (maybe with rays), Edward swooning and fainting away in response like a lady whose corset was too tight.

This was quieter than what he had pictured. Gentle. Intimate, even. As he looked over at the scene, he had the sudden feeling that perhaps he shouldn't intrude.

He began to walk away when Stede turned his head and look directly at him. Izzy froze for a moment, unsure what to do. Stede quietly waved him over to where the couple was sitting.

As Izzy approached, he began to get a closer look at Ed's face. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed. His chest slowly rose and fell with each breath. As he come closer, he noticed Ed's eyes were making little flickers underneath his eyelids like he was dreaming.

Izzy wondered what dreams were happening below those lids.

Ed's brows furrowed a bit as Izzy came closer, picking up the noise.

Stede stroked a reassuring hand through his hair. He spoke in his ear, this time loud enough so Izzy could hear: "Shhhhhhh sweetness. It's OK. Relax. You're not in charge right now, remember? Just rest."

Ed's expression immediately cleared. He let held breath with a sigh.

"Izzy's here," Stede continued. "He and I are going to have a chat for a bit. But you don't have to pay attention to that right now, ok? Just drift. Why don't you see how deep you can count yourself down for me while we talk? I'll be right here. I'll touch your leg when it's time for you to listen to me again, ok?"

Ed gave a slight, dreamy nod. His lips barely moved as he began to count silently.

Seemingly satisfied, Stede gestured for Izzy to sit and moved over closer to him.

Izzy sat down, still staring at Ed's lax face. Somehow that by itself was just fascinating. Ed seemed so vulnerable and bare right now. Izzy wasn't sure if he should feel honored or spooked.

"He had a bad day," Stede said gently, nodding over to their entranced boyfriend. "You know how he gets. He needed out of his head for a bit."

Izzy DID understand how Ed got- probably more than his dandyish captain ever would. Hopefully more that Stede ever would, he corrected himself. Ed had certainly told his other boyfriend at least a bit about the hurricane that had been his and Izzy's relationship in the past. When times were bad, they had only known how to take their energy out on each other. They bit and snarled and scratched at one another just to drown out all the noise inside. Izzy had always assumed Ed had NEEDED all of that- needed to hurt and make Izzy suffer the same way that Izzy needed to hurt and suffer for him. That's how they worked. That's who they were together.

Since arriving on the Revenge, though, Izzy had seen more and more of the hidden soft side of Blackbeard. The side that enjoyed fancy clothes and fine foods. The side that kissed Stede's cheek sweetly when he didn't think anyone else was looking. The side that, even now, sat loose and drifting and unguarded while his two boyfriends stayed by him and had a chat.

"Can he hear us?" Izzy asked Stede, curiously.

Stede smiled. "He can hear us, he's just..focused elsewhere right now. Mesmerism's not a magic spell, it's more like- a nice version of where Ed's brain goes when he's navigating. Or how he is when he's trying to sniff out a storm."

Izzy was familiar with his captain's tendency to tune everything out while trying to read the sea. He pictured the absolute, unshakeable concentration of his focused gaze. "Only with nice, clear skies?"

Stede nodded. "Only with nice clear skies." He looked fondly at Ed's dreaming face. "No rain. Nothing to worry about right now." He had dropped into a lighter, dreamy tone- and for a moment, Izzy wasn't sure if he was still speaking to Ed or Izzy or even somehow mesmerizing himself.

Izzy had seen many things in his travels. He once heard a street charlatan talk about mesmerism- saying mesmerism somehow balanced out a person's magnetic forces (y'know- whatever magnetic forces were). He wasn't one for all of Stede's little tricks but- he did understand about needing balance.

Izzy had initially misunderstood Ed's relationship to Stede. He worried that the gentleman pirate would make Ed weak. That he would seduce him away. That he would try to turn the great Blackbeard into one of Stede's fancy little gentleman friends. Izzy had been terrified there would be nothing left of the Ed that he loved after Stede was through.

But Ed was still Izzy's Ed, even now. He could still fight and outwit and outmaneuver anyone else on the sea. He would still protect his crew with all the fierceness of his notorious reputation. He and Izzy could still lose themselves in each other- in their old married couple bickering, in their fighting and fucking, in their indulgences of Ed's sadism and Izzy's corresponding masochism. It just- felt more controlled now. Izzy no longer wondered if Ed actually hated him or if he was just looking for someone convenient to break. He no longer worried that Blackbeard would maim him so badly that he couldn't look after the crew. Even when Ed hurt him now- and he WOULD still hurt him, Stede didn't magic that part away- Izzy was always rewarded with a kiss and some praise afterwards. "That's so good, Izzy. You did so well for me," he would say. Edward seemed so much stronger in these moments now- able to control his own fierceness and use it as a weapon- but also to hold Izzy as he fell apart for him.

Izzy looked over at Ed's quiet countenance- so different than before. It was otherworldy seeing him this serene and distant. He had a sudden desire to protect this version of Ed- Stede's gentle Ed. To keep him safe. A mad, possessive impulse made it to Izzy's mouth before he could stop it.

"Can I touch him?" he asked. "Like this?"

Stede looked surprised. "By touch, do you mean....?"

"His face, Bonnet" Izzy replied, snarkily. "Or his hand or something. His hair. Not going to wank him off on the deck, now am I?"

Stede bit back a laugh. He leaned over to gently touch Ed's leg.

Ed reacted with an almost imperceptible startle before gently settling- serene like the moon going back behind a cloud.

"Shhh- that's OK, love, you can stay relaxed. Good," Stede soothed. "Izzy was wondering if he could touch you while you're in trance. Would that be OK?"

Ed took a moment to respond, as though the words were reaching him from a great distance. Then he nodded his assent.

Stede smiled back at Izzy, reassuringly. Izzy took a breath- then reached over to slowly stroke Ed's hair.

His fearsome Blackbeard smiled in return to the gesture- giving a happy little murmur. He slightly leaned his head in. Just like an affectionate kitten, Izzy thought.

"Good," soothed Bonnet at Ed. "I bet that feels nice."

Izzy grinned too, feeling oddly proud to be trusted with this quiet moment. He and Ed had never been conventional. Maybe it was OK that Ed and Stede weren't either. Maybe it was ok that their relationships were so different- that they saw such different aspects of the same person.

Maybe it was all ok.

Maybe it all balanced.

They sat quietly for a long moment on the deck, letting the peace of the atmosphere soothe them.

Gradually Stede stirred. "Izzy- I forgot to ask: Did the men send you? Were they looking for us?"

"There's no emergency, they were just curious where you were," replied Izzy.

Stede nodded. "We should probably get back, then. Or at least get off deck. Love," he said, moving his voice back into that hypnotic tone. He touched Ed's leg to refocus him. "Are you ready to come up out of trance for me?"

Ed took a deep breath and nodded.

"Good, I'll count to 5 then. It's just to guide you- I know you know how to come up at your own pace. Bring back any of this peace and calm that you want with you, ok?"

Stede started counting- his voice slowly gaining energy as he reminded Ed to connect back with his body and helped him reorient to the ship. It all didn't seem particularly magical to Izzy- but then again he rarely tried to understand Bonnet's ways anyway. Ed finally blinked his eyes open when Stede reached 5.

He blinked a few more times, adjusting. Then, his gaze lost it's bleariness as he looked adoringly up at Stede.

"Hi, there," said Stede, smiling gently. "Back with us, love?"

"Mmmmph mostly," said Ed, scritching his beard and stretching to rouse himself. He looked over at Izzy as though reminding himself he was there and smiled. "Heya, Izz!" Ed leaned up to kiss him.

Izzy grinned into their kiss. "Heya, Captain. Didn't want to interrupt your little daydream session. Crew was just looking for you."

"Ah, we missed dinner!" exclaimed Stede. "I should have asked Roach for..."

"Provisions for planning raids, I heard," smirked Izzy. "Yes, we're all very snowed by your clever euphemisms."

"Fuck provisions, I could eat a horse," said Ed. He practically bounced up and put an arm around both of his boyfriends. "C'mon, let's get some grub!"

Helpless to his whims as always, both of his partners joyfully followed him to dinner.

Fanfic is new to me so would love some thoughts! Also this is unbeta'd so will love you forever if you would point out spelling/grammar mistakes or if there's unclear writing. I'm considering posting this to AO3 but- don't want to embarrass myself in front of the REAL fanfic writers, you know? Feedback welcomed!

Tagging @mentat101posts and @thekinkycocktailclub .If you want to be tagged in these, just lmk!

Tagging @darthkyra @linnybeenaughty @pearlqueensposts @thiskenisftm @deeperforme because they wanted OFMD hypnokink and I blame/thank you for the inspiration to actually get this down!

[decent0distraction]

*sigh* ok

So-

Listen-

I-

….

I didn’t want to do this. In fact, I have avoided this particular alternate universe as much as I could. But I got bored in Bio and started writing this dumb little thing instead of making flash cards.

I may fail Biology but I’ll never fail making strangely angsty and intriguingly amusing Our Flag Means Death AU’s.

(Update: I got a C)

This AU is, drum roll please….

HIGH SCHOOL/CHEERLEADING AU!

Yeah, not my best pitch. But hear me out. Or don’t. I won’t know either way. [as]

Sorry, I’ll get to the point now.

Stede Bonnet is a rich kid at a rich private school, King George Academy, until he decides he’s going to the nearest public school, Queen Anne High School. His girlfriend, Mary, only finds out he’s breaking up with her and leaving when her friends message her asking if Stede has a brain tumor or something (sparking the flames of “Stede Bonnet died” rumor)

But Stede isn’t dead! No, no, he just committed social-suicide to…captain the Queen Anne cheer squad??

There’s two problems with this. One, there isn’t really a squad for Stede to captain. I mean, there’s a few students who need the extra credit, a couple that have nothing better to do, and some who need it for their college applications. So yeah, if you count a bunch of weirdos and misfits who have no cheerleading experience whatsoever as a squad, then yeah, Stede’s good to go.

The other problem is that while the school itself doesn’t have a cheer squad, a group of talented students travel to the only top schools and their best games to cheer the teams on. This squad-for-hire is captained by Edward Teach and his head cheerleader, Izzy Hands.

Stede likes to think he and Edward are the same, but let’s get one clear. Edward is a captain because his team is so good that no one sees the need to strap a teacher or coach to the squad. Stede doesn’t need an adult chaperone because no really gives a shit. That lot is a team?? Since when? Ah, who cares?

Got it? Cool.

But by the time Edward and his squad return to Queen Anne, the word has gotten out that a fancy private school twink has built a team that’s attractive in the way that ugly purse dogs are cute. Or something like that. You know, the circulation of the rumor mill at this school is very concerning.

Edward sends the best of his team, Izzy Hands, to check out this new squad.

Total mean girls moment when Izzy approaches Stede with Ivan and Fang, the two of them getting into it and the principal getting involved.

And the principal, who I haven’t put a character to yet but the idea of Spanish Jackie breaking up this fight like the principal in Mean Girls, yk

“Hell no, I did not leave East High for this” or was it north east high? Northeastern high? Someone fact check this quote, please? Thank you.

Anyway, whoever the principal is, they pause bc

Stede Bonnet?? As in father’s the inventor of the toaster strudel, that Stede Bonnet?

Or was it something else?

Who cares; the point is, why is this kid in this principal’s school and why are they just now finding out about it?

That’s not important right now tho because it’s become apparent that this school doesn’t have room for two squads so they make Stede and Edward co-captain one large squad. And since it’s clear this is gonna be a problem, they assign the weird old history teacher, Mr. Buttons, to chaperone.

(If I find the flash card I wrote on, I’ll update with any extra details I wrote that isn’t already on this post)

[mandiemon3]

The Best Revenge is Living Well- Chapter 7

Mo stirred as someone moved against them. They felt around, feeling warm skin against their hands, before blinking their eyes open.

“Good morning,” Izzy said, voice still thick with sleep. He shifted, freeing an arm to brush their hair out of their face, letting his hand linger, his thumb caressing their cheek.

Mo grinned, propping themselves up to lean over him, holding his head gently as they leaned down to kiss him.

“Morning,” they mumbled when they broke apart, hovering over him. “Were you getting up to start the day?” They trailed their fingers through his hair absentmindedly.

Izzy nodded, leaning into their touch.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, it’s alright,” Mo said quietly, smiling down at him. “I’m glad to be up with you. Now I can make sure you get a good start to the day.” They turned, squinting at the window, just seeing the very beginning of the sunrise. “Do you always get up this early?”

Izzy nodded. “Yeah. Someone has to run this ship.”

“Well, now I get why you’re so grumpy all the time.” He scowled as Mo chuckled. “Relax, Iz, I’m just teasing.”

Izzy let his fingers trail along their face, gently tracing every curve and contour as if he wanted to commit it to memory. After a moment, he nudged them to the side, waiting for them to move before pushing himself up into a sitting position, groaning at the movement. He stretched slowly, allowing Mo to enjoy watching the muscles ripple along his arms, back, and shoulders. They were amazed at how strong he was, seeing a dozen different muscles flex at once.

Izzy glanced over his shoulder, smirking when he saw the look on Mo’s face. “Like what you see?” he drawled.

Mo grinned. “Yeah, very much,” they replied cheekily. They sat up, wrapping their arms around Izzy’s torse from behind, leaning their cheek on his shoulder. They sighed. “It’s going to be hard, acting like I used to out there. Like nothing’s changed.”

Izzy hummed. “I know,” he said. “But we don’t have a choice.” He turned to face Mo, cupping their face with his hand. He pressed a kiss to their forehead. “It’s worth it if we can pull this off.”

Mo smiled. “C’mon, let’s get you out there before Stede capsizes the ship,” they joked.

Izzy rolled his eyes, standing up from the bed and picking up his folded shirt. “Don’t even joke about that,” he grumbled, slipping his arms into the sleeves. “Your captain is an incompetent ponce. The smartest thing he ever did was hire you.”

Mo blushed as he began to button up his shirt. That was the nicest thing Izzy had said about their skills as a pirate. They pushed themselves off the bed, picking up the tie from the desk and slipping it over their lover’s head. They pressed a quick kiss to Izzy’s exposed neck, enjoying the slight shiver that ran through him, before tucking the tie under the collar of his shirt and carefully tightened it. As a final touch, they adjusted the ring secured to the knot, facing it forward.

“There you go,” Mo said, smiling up at Izzy. “Properly handsome.”

Izzy smiled softly, blush creeping up to his cheeks. He picked up his leather vest, slipping it on and buttoning it up in a fluid motion. Next was the belt he wore across his chest, holding his sword secure. When Izzy reached for his single leather glove, Mo stopped him, gently grabbing his hand. They brought it up to their face, eyebrows knit in concern as they examined the dark bruising from where they had bit him in their panic the night before. They gently kissed his knuckles before placing his glove in his palm and releasing him.

“I’m sorry for biting you,” they said, embarrassed that they had overacted and hurt him.

“It’s alright, love, you know that.” Izzy slipped his glove on, grimacing slightly from the pain it caused. “I will say though, I’m glad you’re not always that violent when you wake up.”

Mo frowned. “To be fair, you snuck up on me in the dead of night and covered my mouth. For all I knew, you were some stranger trying to kill me. Or worse,” they said with a grimace, “someone I knew trying to kill me.”

Izzy paused, straightening small details of his outfit. “Would you have bitten Frenchie?” he asked. “If he had woken you up the same way,” he added.

Mo shifted on their feet. “Well, Frenchie knows not to wake me up that way.”

Izzy grinned, beginning to comb through his hair, slicking it back like he must have done every morning since they met. “Ooh, does he have a matching scar?” he teased.

Mo shrugged, not able to muster up the energy to joke. “No. He just knows a bit more about my past. Enough to know that I don’t do well when someone sneaks up on me.” Izzy’s smile fell off his face, his eyes clouding over with worry. “I-I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t know. Did something happen to you? Something before we met?” They sighed, not really wanting to get into it. “Yeah,” they said flatly, avoiding making eye contact. “But let’s not talk about that now.” They gave a small smile, forcing themselves to look up at him. “Today is supposed to be a happy day for us. Let’s focus on the good.” Izzy hesitated before giving a small nod. He held out his hand to them, and they immediately accepted it. He rubbed small circles into the back of their hand, and Mo let themselves relax, focusing on the feel of his callouses, becoming more familiar by the moment.

“I’ll do whatever I can to protect you,” Izzy said simply. “Nothing’s going to hurt you, not while I’m here.”

Mo smiled weakly, doing their best not to let their emotions well up. Their voice was quiet when they replied, barely able to avoid the tremble that fought its way to be heard. “Thank you, Iz. Really, I mean it.”

Things went smoothly for most of the morning, at least as smoothly as could be expected when most of the crew consisted of people on a ship for the first time in their life. Despite a few stolen glances and small smiles, no one had seemed to pick up on a change in the chemistry between Izzy and Mo. To be on the safe side, the two had given each other a wide birth, not wanting to push their luck. To his credit, Frenchie was doing a good job of playing it cool as well. He gave a few knowing glances to Mo when he caught them looking Izzy’s way, and a light jab to their ribs when they had a light blush on their face after their fingers brushed Izzy’s while passing him a scope to examine a nearby island.

When it was time for the crew to take their lunch break, Mo suggested that they eat on deck to enjoy the pleasant weather. Wee John took to the idea immediately, hoping to use the brighter light to his advantage while adding small beads to a skirt he had been working on. Frenchie had hidden his smirk with his hand, pretending to scratch his nose, but had agreed to go with his friends, while Roach whisked his apron off over his head and tossed it onto the counter, eager to get out of the stuffy kitchen. Black Pete and Lucius had decided that they didn’t want to be left out of the fun, and quickly scrambled to catch up to their friends as they headed up to the deck. As a last thought, Mo dashed back, grabbing two mugs of grog to bring up the two first mates who couldn’t join them for lunch. They handed their plate to Roach to carry up for them, rolling their eyes as he picked a piece of crust off their sandwich and stuck it in his mouth. They grumbling something about the great betrayal under their breath, loud enough for Roach to hear and make him laugh.

As the crew settled down on the desk, each marking out their own spot to spread out with their plates and personal artifacts, Mo went up to the quarterdeck to give Buttons his grog.

“Aye,” he exclaimed, eyes widening in appreciation at the mug being held out to him. “Thank you, wean. You’re a kind spirit.” He took the mug from their hand, holding it up with absolute reverence.

Mo grinned. “My pleasure, Buttons. Make sure to take breaks in the shade,” they advised, walking back towards the steps. “You don’t want to get heat exhaustion.” “Aye, ye don’t need to worry about me. The sea shall rejuvenate me.”

They hopped down the steps, careful not to slosh any of the liquid out of the second mug they still held. They made their way towards Izzy where he stood at the bow of the ship with his back towards them.

“Hello, Mr. Hands,” Mo said, coming to a stop a few feet from the first mate. Izzy turned around, giving a small smile before collecting himself. He cleared his throat, frowning slightly.

“I thought I told you to call me Izzy,” he said, a tinge of humor in his voice.

Mo grinned, giving a small chuckle. “You’re right. Well, Izzy, I brought you this.” They held the mug out to him. “Figured you could use some refreshment after standing in the sun all day.” Izzy accepted the mug, but his small frown returned to his face. He looked up, opening his mouth to speak, but Mo cut him off. “Don’t worry, I brought some for Buttons too. There’s no proof of special treatment.” They grinned. “Besides, it’s not out of character for me to care about my first mates. No reason for the crew to get suspicious.”

“Well,” Izzy said, “thank you for thinking of Mr. Buttons and myself.” He raised his mug, as if giving a toast, before taking a swig. “Any comments from the boy yet?” he asked, tilting his head to where Lucius sat across the deck, propped up to lean next to Black Pete.

Mo sighed, following his gaze. “Not yet, but it’s only a matter of time. I don’t know how he does it, but he’s never been wrong, not once. It’s like he can smell pheromones or something to tell when there’s drama afoot.” They chuckled dryly, smirking. “What do you want to bet that it’s this little talk we’re having now that tips him off?” Izzy scowled. “If he says anything-“ “I know, darling,” they interrupted. “You’ll hurt him, or make him wish he was never born. Might just toss him overboard.” Izzy grunted, clearly enjoying the thought. “Don’t worry so much,” they continued, “at least not about this. I know Lucius. He’s a bit delicate, and a shit sailor, but he’s loyal, and a good friend. I trust him. He wouldn’t sell us out.”

Izzy’s scowl remained, and it took everything in Mo not to reach out to comfort him. They knew that he would relax if they were able to take his hand or give him a kiss, but they also knew there was no way to do that without drawing unwanted attention from the rest of the crew.

Mo sighed. Izzy’s eyes flicked over to them, examining their face, his scowl replaced by worry. “I miss you,” they explained meekly. “I miss how we were last night, and this morning. I wish we didn’t have to hide.”

His eyes softened. “I know, love. We’ll figure this out, some way to make it work.”

“Yeah.” Mo hung their head, wrapping their arms around themselves. “It’s all just so unfair. Pete and Lucius get to be in a relationship, Olu and Jim get to have their thing, whatever’s going on there. We’re the only ones who can’t just be together.” They looked up, giving a gentle sigh. “You’re right though. We’ll figure it out.” They laughed weakly. “I know you didn’t survive this long at sea without getting crafty.” They gave Izzy’s shoulder a light punch, the only physical contact they could have without raising suspicions. “Well, I should get back to the others before they start putting things together.”

Izzy nodded, giving them a small smile. “Probably should. I’ll see you later.”

Mo gave a small smile. “You bet your ass you will.” They gave him one last fond look before turning to walk back to where Roach and Frenchie sat.

They settled down with their friends, taking their plate back from Roach and leaning on Frenchie’s shoulder as they took a bite from their sandwich. They couldn’t help but notice that more of the crust was missing, and glared at Roach, giving him a light kick with their boot. Roach smiled sweetly at them in response, his head lolled to the side, knowing they weren’t actually upset.

Frenchie kissed the top of Mo’s head, pulling them away from their farcical feud with the cook.

“You alright, love?” the tall pirate whispered, his breath tickling their ear.

Mo didn’t bother to lower their voice. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just thinking about stuff.” “What kind of stuff?” Roach asked, picking another piece of crust off Mo’s sandwich as they halfheartedly swatted him away.

They took a deep breath, blowing out the air slowly, deciding to split the difference between the full truth and an outright lie. “Y’know, just feeling a bit homesick today. You never really realize how much you miss certain things, or people, until you can’t have them anymore.” They glanced towards Izzy, hoping Roach wouldn’t be able to see how much they wanted to be with him, or the small pools of water gathering in their eyes. They tore their gaze away, giving their head a light shake, hoping to dislodge any thoughts of the man they couldn’t be around.

“I get it,” Roach said, his voice uncharacteristically level. “Sometimes I miss my home. But I carry the people from there that I love with me everyday.” He held up the loose fabric of the sash tied around his waist. “This was made for me by my mother. I wear it everyday, so that even when I miss her, she is with me.”

Mo reached out to put a hand on his knee. “Your mom would be proud of you,” they said, giving him a small smile. “You’re a good cook, and a better friend. You’re never afraid to speak your mind and stand up for what you believe in. Any decent person would be proud to call you family.” Roach laid his own hand on top of Mo’s, giving it a light squeeze.

“You know what?” Mo asked, their usual pep starting to come back to them. “We’re kind of like a family here. A big, rowdy, rambunctious family.” They grinned. “And I’m proud of you all,” they added. “There’s no other band of misfits I’d rather sail with.”

 Roach smiled, his eyes getting a little misty.

“You’re right, too,” they continued, “about carrying your loved ones with you. That’s why I wear my ring, to never forget the family I came from.”

Mo glanced up to Frenchie. They knew he also had a memento from home, his green scarf, but they didn’t want to make him feel any pressure to share something he wasn’t ready to share. They reached out to hold his hand, their other hand still resting on Roach’s knee.

“We sure are an odd bunch,” Mo said, chuckling to themselves.

“Not your traditional family, that’s for sure,” Roach added.

Frenchie shrugged. “Best family I’ve ever had.” He squeezed Mo’s hand, giving them a warm smile.

Floorboards creaked as Lucius flopped down next to the trio.

“What are you guys talking about?” he asked.

“Just family. How we are one,” Mo said, releasing their friends’ hands to bite into their apple.

Lucius laughed. “God, what kind of fucked up gene pool would end up with us lot as relatives?”

Mo snorted. He was right, they certainly had a much more diverse family than the average group you’d find on land.

“I guess you’re right though,” he continued, looking down as he rocked his boot from side to side. “This is the most accepting group I’ve ever been around. Most people back home were weirded out by me.” He brushed a lock of hair behind his ear. “They just hated to see a pretty boy winning,” he joked.

Mo grinned, bumping their shoulder to his. “Well, we’re glad to have you, pretty boy.”

Lucius smirked. “Don’t let your moody man hear you say that, he might get jealous,” he joked, eyes darting to where Izzy stood away from the group.

Mo’s grin faltered before they caught themselves, willing themselves to act normal. They rolled their eyes. “Will you let that up?” They took another bite of their apple, hoping the repetitive motion of chewing would help to relieve some of their nerves and make them seem more relaxed.

“Only when you open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you.”

Frenchie butt in, hoping to diffuse the situation before anything was let slip. “I should have brought my project out here with me,” he blurted, not quite pulling off the casual tone he was going for. “Wee John has the right idea, this sunlight is perfect for stitching.” Mo rubbed his knee as he wheezed an awkward laugh, wanting him to know they saw and appreciated his efforts.

Mo pushed themselves up to stand, handing their half-eaten apple to Roach for him to finish. “Here you go, since you’re apparently hungry enough to eat half my goddamn sandwich.” They ruffled his hair for good measure as he accepted the apple, taking a big bite and almost choking as he laughed.

They began walking around the crew, gathering the used dishes to take back to the kitchen.

“Lucius, would you mind giving me a hand with these?” Mo gave him a sweet smile, ignoring Frenchie’s confused expression as he cocked his head to the side.

Lucius threw his head back dramatically and he gave an overexaggerated groan, before heaving himself up and lending a hand.

Once the two had stacked all the plates and gathered all the mugs, they began to make their way towards the door leading down into the ship, Mo glancing back to where Izzy had been standing. In a stroke of good luck, he had turned around, no longer facing out towards the sea, and Mo was able to give him an urgent look, nodding towards Lucius. They saw a confused expression flash across his face before Lucius asked if they were coming, forcing them to go back to their task. They just had to hope that Izzy would figure out what they were trying to tell him before they finished with the dishes.

They ducked down into the hallway, following Lucius as he made his way to the kitchen.

“Hey, Lucius?” they asked. Lucius hummed, looking over his shoulder to see what Mo wanted. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” “Oh yeah?” he asked. “What’s that, babe?”

Mo did the best to push down their nerves. “Well…you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone.” Lucius glanced over his shoulder again, a suspicious expression on his face, but he didn’t stop walking. “I can’t say much until you do, but I can promise that no one is in any danger or anything like that. It’s just a personal thing that I need to keep out of the gossip mill.” They stopped walking, grabbing Lucius’ arm to stop him too. “Please?” They gave him a pleading look.

Lucius rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, whatever. I promise. Now, what’s going on?”

The door leading up to the deck opened at the end of the hallway, and Mo froze to look back. The sunlight streaming in through the open door blinded them, making them squint. Familiar footsteps fell as the figure standing in the doorway walked down the steps, closing the door behind them. They smiled as they recognized Izzy’s form.

Beside them, Lucius groaned. “Ugh, here comes Izzy. Sorry, love, looks like whatever this secret is will have to wait.” Izzy strode towards them, and Mo had to grab Lucius’ arm again to prevent him from walking away. He frowned, looking over them in confusion. “Wait, what are you doing?”

“Hey, Izzy,” Mo greeted, grinning.

He came to a stop next to them, a level expression on his face. “Hello.” He nodded towards the two. “Need help with those dishes?”

Lucius scoffed, but Mo smirked, handing Izzy a few mugs before continuing on their journey to the kitchen. “You coming, Lucius?” they called as they passed him.

Once everyone had made it to the kitchen and unloaded the dishes they were carrying, they idled, not sure how to proceed.

“Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll just be leaving-“ Lucius attempted to slip past the others to make a dash for the door, wanting to avoid the awkward situation he found himself in. He found himself cut off when Izzy grabbed his arm, holding him captive. “W-what is this?” the young man asked, looking to Mo for help.

“Izzy, let him go,” Mo said gently, placing a calming hand on his arm. “He’s not going anywhere, there’s no need to manhandle him like that.” They turned their attention to Lucius as Izzy reluctantly released him, glaring daggers. “Lucius, remember how you promised to not tell the crew what I was about to tell you?”

Lucius nodded, stammering lightly as he tried to piece together what was happening.

“Well, what I was going to tell you is that…you were right.” Lucius’ brow furrowed. “About me and Izzy,” they clarified. “You’ve been teasing me about our relationship, saying that Izzy had feelings for me, and me for him, and…well, you were right.”

Lucius gasped, hands clasping over his mouth. He slowly released his hands as the news sunk in. “Wait, why are you telling me?” he asked.

Mo and Izzy exchanged a glance. “Well, we wanted to ask you to not tell anyone,” Mo said, “and to maybe lighten up on your teasing, so you don’t draw attention to us. You see, we might be breaking some rules by being together. We’re honestly not really sure if Izzy is allowed to be in a relationship with a crewmate. He was afraid you would want to tell our captains, to get him in trouble, but I convinced him to let me talk to you before taking any drastic actions.” Lucius frowned. “Drastic actions meaning?” “Meaning I’d throw you off the ship, boy,” Izzy said, smiling casually. Lucius paled.

Mo elbowed Izzy. “Lucius, I wouldn’t let him do that. As tough as he may act, he wouldn’t do that knowing how much I like you. Would you, darling?” they asked Izzy, giving him a sweet smile. Izzy growled, shuffling his weight. “I might,” he grumbled.

Lucius raised his eyebrows, blowing out a breath of air emphatically. “Alright, so you just want me to not tell anyone about this messy business,” he said, gesturing between the two in front of him, “and to not joke about you guys as much? That’s it?”

Mo grinned, nodding. “Exactly! I know that this is something you’d normally want to gossip about, but it could really put Izzy in danger. I know you don’t like him.” Lucius raised his eyebrows, looking away, as if to say “duh”. Izzy hissed. “If you could please just keep this to yourself and maybe stop pointing it out to everyone, that’s all we’d need. No one else can know about this.”

Lucius nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, alright, I think I can do that.” Izzy bristled. “Don’t think, just do,” he hissed, taking a step closer to the young man.

Lucius swallowed thickly, but found the confidence to speak. “Threaten me all you’d like, little man.” Izzy bared his teeth, making Mo step forward to hold onto his arm. “I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for them,” he continued, pointing to Mo. “So, if you even think about hurting them, you can consider yourself dead.” He paused, cocking his head to the side. “You’re not the only one who can make threats,” he added, clearly satisfied with himself, even if he was trembling from nerves.

Mo could feel the heat creeping up their neck, and couldn’t help but giggle a little at the shocked expression on Izzy’s face, his face red and his jaw tight.

“Thank you, Lucius.” Mo gave their friend’s shoulder an appreciative squeeze. “I appreciate it.” They turned to Izzy. “Anything you’d like to say, love?”

Izzy shuffled, readjusting his weight. He couldn’t meet Lucius’ gaze, choosing to look down instead, wishing the red of his face to fade away. “Piss off,” he said to Lucius. “I’m not going to hurt them,” he continued, barely loud enough for the others to hear. “And as long as you don’t go blabbing to the others…” he cleared his throat, clearly struggling to get the words out, “I won’t hurt you either.” He ran a hand through his hair anxiously, his boot tapping on the floorboards.

Mo smiled. It meant a lot to them that Izzy was willing to set aside his dislike of Lucius for them, to trust their judgment with something so big, that had the potential to ruin Izzy’s career and possibly put his life in danger. They grazed his hand with their own, silently asking him for permission to hold it, not wanting to embarrass him further in front of Lucius. To their relief, Izzy took their hand, letting them rub the back of his hand soothingly with their thumb.

“Okay, this is so weird,” Lucius blurted out, making Izzy clench his hand. “Sorry! I mean, you guys are cute, it’s just weird to see basically the nicest person I know with…” he trailed off, not wanting to risk getting himself stabbed by the hostile man in front of him.

Izzy’s face darkened. “A pirate?” he suggested gruffly.

Lucius nodded, taking the out offered to him. “Yeah, sure, let’s go with that.”

Izzy cleared his throat, straightening his posture. “Well, now that this is settled, I should get back to work.” He turned, faltering for a moment before pressing a soft kiss to Mo’s cheek, ignoring the burning of his face under Lucius’ gaze. He gave their hand a final squeeze before dropping it and walking back out into the hallway, heading for the steps up to the deck.

Once the first mate had closed the door behind him, Lucius turned his gaze to Mo, his mouth hanging open.

“Honey, how in the hell did that happen?” he asked, pointing towards the door.

Mo laughed. “I don’t know, it just did!” they said, grinning widely. They sighed heavily. “Oh gods, I’m so glad that went well.” They gave their friend a smile. “Thank you, by the way, for agreeing to keep our secret. And sorry about Izzy. His first idea when dealing with a problem is always to just kill whatever is upsetting him. But he promised not to hurt you, and he wouldn’t break a promise like that.”

Lucius smirked. “Maybe not to you, his precious little angel,” he teased, nudging them affectionately. Mo rolled their eyes, scoffing. “Yeah, I’m such a saint.” They laughed, thinking of something they could tell their friend without embarrassing Izzy with their personal details. “Okay, there is one funny thing I can tell you about how Izzy and I got together.” His eyebrows raised, eagerly wrapping his arms around himself.

“I don’t know if you heard, but I was pretty upset when I came in for bed last night. I tried to be quiet, but you might have heard me crying. It was pretty rough, if I’m being honest. Anyway, Izzy came to find me so we could talk, but I had fallen asleep by the time he came into our room. He had to wake me up, but didn’t want to make much sound, so he put his hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t say anything and wake everyone else up.”

Lucius gasped, clasping a hand to the side of his face. He knew that Mo was not someone who took to unexpected things well, especially when it involved being restrained in some way.

Mo laughed, able to tell that he was hooked on their story. “So, yeah, that went as well as you would imagine. I bit him really hard, and now his poor hand is all bruised. Thankfully, it was the hand that he wears his glove on, so I didn’t break any fingers. Still, I’m not sure if he really sees me as a precious little angel,” they finished in a mocking tone.

Lucius scoffed, shaking his head, but dropped the subject.

“How are you going to drop this big of a bomb on me and then not let me talk about it with anyone?” he whined. “This is so not fair.” “Hey, at least you can be with your partner publicly,” Mo shot back. “And there is one person you can talk to it about, other than me, of course. Frenchie already knows.” Lucius nodded. “That makes sense. Should have guessed you’d have told your bestie.” Mo blushed. “Well, yeah. But I actually didn’t get the chance to tell him anything.” Lucius raised an eyebrow as they scratched their head. “He…kind of walked in on us.” He gasped. “Not doing anything!” they rushed to add. “We were just cuddling in Izzy’s room, sleeping, and Frenchie came looking for me. He had woken up and couldn’t find me, and he was worried because he knew I was upset when I came to bed. He knew Izzy was the last person to see me, so he went to ask him if he knew anything, and…I was there when he knocked on his door.”

Lucius grinned. “You dirty dog,” he fake chastised, slowly shaking his head.

Mo rolled their eyes, playing along. “Oh please, like you haven’t done worse.” “That’s fair, I do get my fair share.” He paused. “This is going to be hard for you, you know,” he said, his voice softer then before. “It would be hard enough being with him if you could be open about your relationship, but especially if you have to keep it a secret for that one to keep his job.” Mo nodded. “Yeah, I know. But it’s worth it.” They blushed, looking down at their boots. “I really do like him a lot,” they admitted.

Lucius slung an arm around their shoulders, leading them towards the door leading out to the hallway. “I know, babe. I’ve been telling you for a while.” Mo laughed, letting themselves be guided back up to the deck to be with the rest of the crew.

[funkwallace]

Move over, Izzy apologists -- I'm here to redeem Calico Jack!

You know that movie with Starlord guy and Hunger Games chick where it's in space and he wakes her up because he's in love with her, but people say if you imagine the movie from her perspective it's actually a horror film? (IMDB says it's called "Passengers")

We're doing that with my boy CJ today. And CJ is a saint, full stop.

Calico Jack only knows about Stede Bonnet whatever rumors might have floated to him on the wind, and what Izzy has told him. He and Izzy are both old friends of Blackbeard, and he has no reason to distrust Izzy. Now imagine what Izzy has told him about Stede.

CJ loves Blackbeard enough to have saved his life once already. In some traditions, that makes him responsible for Blackbeard's life thereafter. Now his friend is in danger once again - the English are bearing down on his location looking for Stede. Of course he's gonna go try and extract his boy -- shoot, if implications are to be believed, his *lover*! He needs to do everything in his power to get Blackbeard out of there.

He knows the "full force of the English Navy" is only after Stede, so he has no reason to win Stede over and get him to escape as well. Why would he even want to, after what he's heard about Stede from Izzy? If Stede is all they want, he has to make Stede dislike him and not follow along -- otherwise, the English Navy keeps coming.

In fact, to his credit, he actually tries to save the entire crew! He spends all his time trying to win them over, and invites them to come along with him when he has to bail -- because he knows Blackbeard will follow him, and that would be enough, but he tries to save all those innocent buffoons as well!

In my opinion, this can explain all of his behavior, excluding Karl. Maybe Karl was an accident, or maybe he didn't know how beloved Karl was, that it would make the others stay. Just being obnoxious wasn't getting him kicked off the boat, so maybe he thought that would be an appropriate step up to get himself booted by the captain, without realizing the crew would choose not to leave with him at that point.

What's more, without CJ, our boys might never have fully leaned into the fact that they're in love! They could have kept pussyfooting about, flirting but never committing. But after "You came back" -- "Never left" and the foot touch? Then being captured and sent off to Navy Camp and the kiss that followed? CJ was a necessary catalyst!

That's that! I've said it! Calico Jack did nothing wrong!

[areyoudoingthis]

i understand where the anger at izzy's still coming from, but I also think what's happening is that we built a lot of expectations around him, and in the end the way the show decided to deal with him was a lot simpler and, i think, a lot more meaningful and true to the overall themes of ofmd. on the one hand, this season has been chiefly about the effects stede's "kill them with kindness" people positive management style has had in the world even in his absence (i'm writing another meta about that because it's giving me the worst brain worms) and, on the other hand, the show also went "it's not that deep" (at least where the crew's concerned.)

yes izzy sold them out to the british, but the crew didn't really experience any negative consequences from that, they were allowed to stay on the ship and go back to life as usual. and they were fine for a bit after ed came back (until izzy committed his most recent hate crime, but that was between him and ed, and it'll have to be resolved between him and ed.) he was a shit captain and they mutinied, but that's over, he doesn't have that kind of power over them anymore, and he's now broken and pathetic instead. kraken ed was their captain for longer, and in their own experience they suffered more under him, and the consequences of that time are far more fresh in their memories (i'm not saying ed was worse, just that their time with him impacted them more, because ed's self destruction was much more raw and intense and harder to process than izzy's simple and absurd brand of despotism.)

so i get why the crew needed some time away from ed while they sorted themselves out, and I also get why they banded together to help izzy. this is a group of people that's been through hell but still remembers the days when things were better, and they associate those days with stede and his ways. of course they chose to be kind. izzy was frankly pathetic, drunk and crying and clearly still unwilling to live, finally experiencing the consequences of his own actions and suffering as others have suffered from them before. and the crew took pity on him and made him a new leg, which also served as a way of bonding among themselves and working through their own trauma. they chose to follow the stede bonnet way and kill them with kindness. and for the first time in the entire show, izzy accepted a gesture of kindness with genuine emotional openness. he cried when he read the note. he put on the leg and cleaned himself up and decided to accept the place he was offered among the crew. he whittled a shark and gifted it to lucius because he was having a hard time, and he used the wildest most fucked up logic to give what was actually good advice: deal with this and move on because if you stay stuck it will destroy you. he knows all about choosing to stay stuck in fucked up situations and being destroyed.

meanwhile ed went on his own journey of self discovery and healing with stede, who of course was always going to be the person to be there for him, but also, in what was an incredibly heartwarming moment, with fang, who other than izzy is his oldest crew member and the person who's known him the longest. and ed also got kindness and emotional honesty and forgiveness from the people that matter. I'm sure he'll keep bonding with the rest of the crew in the future, since most of them have forgiven him and he's so, so eager to heal and connect with others.

does izzy still have shit to apologize for? sure, and i feel like down the line he and ed are gonna talk and figure out whatever still can be figured out. but i think as far as the crew's concerned, he's a sad little gremlin they took pity on, and as long as he stays in line they're okay with having a pet onboard from now on

[catgirledteach]

okay ive reached the point where i need to get my season 2 theories out. i am going full red string cork board please feel free to lobotomize me at any time

i'm breaking these down by the batches of episodes as they will be released, as last season they said episodes were broken up very intentionally to convey certain story beats, and i think that's what they're doing this season as well

First three episodes:

we catch up with what each separate crew has been up to since season one left off i.e. a recap of how stede and the folks abandoned on the island managed to make their way back to society, how the now unhinged crew under ed has been running wild, how i suspect a lot of them are enjoying serving under a successful pirate captain but are confused and unsettled by how and why blackbeard has become so aggressive and unstable

i think the above will be the first episode for the most part. i think this will establish their goals/conflict - i predict some of stede's crew will be supportive of trying to go after ed and some won't. particularly i expect pete will get a storyline of him turning on the blackbeard persona he once idolized now that ed potentially did god-knows-what to lucius, and the only way he'll agree to go after blackbeard is if stede agrees to try and find lucius as his first priority and the rest of the crew backs him up

episode two follows stede's crew as they search for lucius and make new allies (lesbian pirates fuck yeah), meanwhile ed becomes more and more unstable and the crew starts to turn. ESPECIALLY izzy, but we'll come back to that. end of episode two they finally find lucius and they're ready to pursue the revenge

episode three ends with stede's crew finally catching up with the revenge, in no small part helped by frenchie, jim, and maybe even izzy quietly trying to sabotage ed so that stede can catch up and hopefully make things right again. izzy at this point is starting to realize that ed has gone off the deep end and not in a good way. he is seeing that underneath the violence and rage that ed is unhappy and he maybe even feels responsible - things have gone too far for even him and it's not what he wanted either. he maybe even confronts ed in a final attempt to set him right and after being unable to get through to ed, knows that stede is the only one who can fix this, much to his disappointment that he can't be that for ed

the reunion goes BAD, a standoff of sorts happens but ed refuses to forgive or listen to stede despite being heartbroken. however at this point his crew has turned on him so much that there's a blowout that separates them again, and stede maybe manages to take back the revenge or at least they manage to get jim and/or frenchie out of there. and MOST importantly i think this is where izzy defects, approaching stede with the deal that he will help him bring ed back, training him to fight and track down ed together

Episodes 4 and 5:

Episode 4 covers izzy and stede having a tenuous relationship, so starkly at odds yet understanding that they need each other to help ed. stede gets better at fighting/strategy, and despite some initial conflict they come to a place of peace and maybe even friendship?? this is also likely helped by lucius once again being the resident therapist onboard and talking izzy through his shit. izzy begins the tentative journey of realizing he was toxic, wanting to make up for that, and also finally acknowledging that his feelings for ed were more than what he originally thought they were.

also side note i think this may be the episode where one of the B plots are lucius and black pete getting married. sort of a "lucius almost died and there's nothing like being separated and potentially losing the love of your life to make you want to commit to each other for the rest of your life" and so they decide to throw the party we saw in the trailer. and also maybe this starts getting stede's mind going in the direction of marital thoughts

meanwhile the remains of ed's crew have had fucking enough, especially after the blowout that just happened, and throw him overboard. and with ed also being thrown into an emotional spiral after seeing stede again and not knowing how to deal with it, he kind of just lets it happen as he feels like giving up

This brings us to episode 5 which i think will be the "ed stranded on an island and slowly losing his mind" episode, which i think will be the main plot after a stede/izzy-centric episode prior. however, the B plot i do think is izzy and stede getting wind of ed being deposed, and going off just the two of them to find him, and again having some more honest conversations between the two of them about their histories and relationships to ed. (izzy maybe starts developing a crush on stede idk????????)

ed is going THROUGH it on the island, reckoning with his past and his shame, very similar to stede's fever dreams in season one. ed's imagining hornigold and maybe other memories that formed this discomfort with being seen as weak, vulnerable, not masculine enough, etc. and i think after going through some rough fucking soul searching and lowkey starving and dehydrating, he realizes he was just scared of stede bringing out this more vulnerable side of him, and that stede leaving was one of his worst fears coming true and that's why he lashed out. he knows he loves stede and deep down he knows stede loves him too but was just as scared as ed was, and that's why he left. episode ends with ed nearly fucking dying and stede and izzy finding and rescuing him

Episode 6:

An interesting choice to have one week with only one episode and im very intrigued. it's either meant to just be kind of a bridge episode that's a lot calmer after the previous intense episode with ed and a calm before the storm of the last two episodes, or it's maybe the most climactic episode yet.

i lean more the former, potentially a very quiet episode that is focusing less on the action and more on the emotional states of characters as ed is reintegrated into the crew, met with mixed reactions from different people. this could be the time for lucius to have his reckoning with ed about, y'know, lowkey trying to kill him after being nothing but supportive.

izzy is also very uncomfortable with his emerging new identity and having defied blackbeard once again being afraid of what ed might do to him now that they're back on the same ship. stede is likely the only one who has faith that ed will be okay and is the only person really defending him and protecting him. this is maybe the episode where stede and ed actually have a conversation about everything that's happened, how they feel about each other, and what this means going forward. things are still uncertain but they're recovering slowly

i also think a side plot that's been going on throughout the season is something related to jim's revenge quest, them maybe running into another one of the bandits who killed their family or maybe even their sibling we saw in the flashback (dear god i hope it's that one). so maybe that becomes the more action-heavy plot for this episode while every other plot is more subdued and emotional.

i think the end of this episode is a catalyst of conflict that will kick off the action for the last two episodes. this is so far out that i can't even begin to predict what that could be, but maybe something about being pursued by another country's navy again (i don't think so though, it would be a bit repetitive from last season's ending) or more likely being pursued by other pirates as word of blackbeard's wild behaviour and then subsequent disappearance after being mutinied got around. also he has a fucking price on his head

Episodes 7 and 8:

Just as the crew is starting to get on the same page again, they're thrown into a conflict of some kind. feelings have to take a backseat for a while, although they're still very much at the forefront of people's minds. more pirate conflict, more of jim's sidequest maybe, more seeking/returning of allies (returning lesbian pirates fuck yeah), very hero's journey-esque. i think this is where the clips with jackie maybe fit in, as the crew reaches out to other pirates and strike deals to get assistance with the brewing conflict? this is also what makes me think that the conflict is likely with other pirates, enemy of my enemy and all that.

episode 7 ends with the crew having put all their ducks in a row and prepare to enter the fray.

episode 8 is the climactic conflict, both in the battle-sense and also the emotional sense. stede and ed (and also maybe izzy?) can't hold back their feelings anymore, even in the midst of the current insanity, and maybe even BECAUSE of the insanity because they're worried what might happen to them going into danger. some sort of emotional confessions or proposals (?!!?!?!) occurs, everything coming to blows at once very dramatic and all that. this is perhaps the dramatic cliff scene that the vogue article mentioned??

and heartbreakingly, because there's still supposed to be one more season, i think it will end on another cliffhanger. my theory is that the revenge crew wins the day, but either stede or ed are captured in the process. the beaten pirates or officers or whatever know one of them is valuable to the other and takes them in hopes of maybe manipulating the other towards some goal or even just ransoming them off as they are both wanted fugitives. and by now stede and ed have had their emotional confession and know how the other feels, so we know that the final season will kick off with one of them forging an intense rescue mission to take them back and rain hell on whoever took the other.

BONUS PREDICTION: season three ends with ed and stede faking both their deaths in order to 'retire' peacefully, no longer wanting to live a life that puts either of them in danger of losing the other. maybe im reaching across the atlantic for this take, but i think the High on a Rocky Ledge song from episode one foreshadows all of this, implying they fake falling to their death together so that they can live out the rest of their lives in peace.

Full disclosure i wrote this all this morning before i even knew the trailer was releasing tomorrow so all of this will likely be completely irrelevant in like 12 hours. i have also intentionally avoided looking at any of the leaks (i liked some posts though to look at after i see its release) so if any of this is already contradicted ssshhhh you saw nothing

we still have three weeks to go gang and i'm literally on the verge of writing the whole fucking thing myself i am unwell please help me

[adickaboutspoons]

📓

Once upon a time, there lived a maid. Not a maiden, mind you. She was married, thank you very much. Maid was merely her job title... Fairytale au in the vein of Hans My Hedgehog/East of the Sun, West of the Moon/The True Bride/Cupid & Psyche. Snipping because brevity? I don't know her.

When Ed's mum wished for a baby, she didn't expect her child would be a strange creature with a beard of black tentacles. She loves and protects him as best she can, but the world, and his father, especially, is cruel to the strange boy, and as soon as he can, he runs away (shortly after the mysterious disappearance of his asshole father), to make his way in the world. The world of piracy is also cruel, but with his prodigious aspect, and rapier-sharp mind, he quickly builds a reputation as the dreaded Kraken - the most fearsome pirate ever to rove the seas. In his travels, he encounters a land East of the sun, West of the Moon, North-by-northwest of the Pole, and around the corner from the Southern Cross, and in it an enchantress who promises that she can take away his tentacles and give him the face he was always meant to have, but in exchange, he must agree to return to her in a year and become her 20th husband. The enchantress Jackie is a reasonable woman, though, and will not require Ed to marry her if he finds someone to love him, and she'll even make the tentacle-reversal permanent as a wedding gift, BUT! he may not reveal to them his un-tentacled face , for if he does, he must return to her straight away. Ed has always yearned for someone to love him and believed that his cursed face has been an impediment to that. Barring that, he's fucking had it with pirate life and all its cruelty, and for all he knows, he may be dead in a year, and doesn't much mind the idea. so he takes the deal. But what the canny enchantress neglected to mention is that the tentacles would only go away in the dark of the night. Sailing away from the enchantress' kingdom, Ed sacks a merchant ship, but agrees to spare the merchant's life if he will surrender to Ed the first thing of his he lays his eyes on upon returning home. Which is how Mr. Bonnet not-quite-reluctantly turns over his worthless son, who was waiting at the docks, searching the horizon for his father's ship, and wishes the Kraken the best of luck. Stede is a bit worthless, in that he has no practical life skills, but he has boundless enthusiasm, insatiable curiosity about every aspect of Ed's life (which, of course, means learning about piracy), charming conversation, the most fascinatingly bonkers way of looking at things Ed has ever encountered, and most importantly, is the first person ever not to recoil in disgust, or fear from Ed's tentacled face. <insert falling-in-love sequence that I certainly haven't spent ages imagining and never actually committing to paper that eventually involves sneaking into one another's beds at night for (of course totally platonic, what else could it be, Stede tells himself) cuddles>. After some little time, Stede becomes curious about why the captain doesn't allow any lamps to be lit after sundown. And Izzy, who knows about the deal and would rather see Ed chained to an enchantress for the rest of his life than whatever is happening here with this fop, tells him that the Captain is under a spell, and nighttime reveals his true face, but it can only be looked upon by the eyes of true love, and it won't be long now before he can return to her in the land East of the sun, West of the Moon, North-by-northwest of the Pole, and around the corner from the Southern Cross, when the spell is done. And Stede (who is absolutely dippy for Ed, but can't imagine the greatest legend of piracy could ever be interested in a worthless wharf-rat like him, so won't let himself even think about being in love), with a curious pain in his chest, wishes Ed the every happiness. To be continued in part II because apparently Tumblr doesn't like how long this is or something.

[napneeders]

Ever since DJ said his original plan for the show was to have Ed/Stede be unrequited, I've wondered if it wasn't actually that Izzy 'needed' to die as the Blackbeard part of Ed to free Ed, but just that Blackbeard needed to die in DJ's intended story about the brevity of the Golden Age of Piracy. He could no longer kill off Ed now that he'd written a gay romance that people were heralding as non-cliched, and while Izzy was probably always doomed, his death now had to be Blackbeard's as well.

//sorry, anon, this is a bit of an Assorted Thoughts. I hope it doesn't seem too much like I'm shooting you down - I found myself disagreeing, but this was an interesting way to sort out some thoughts, and you might have different thoughts.

that's an interesting idea, though I'm not really convinced it was ever the plan. even with unrequited blackbonnet, I'd imagine the ed/izzy stuff was already in place at that point, and that whatever the plan was for Blackbeard it was always tied up in that (interpersonal, intimate, intense) dynamic. the rockstar of piracy dying as a representation of piracy seems a bit too straightforward; one half of a dysfunctional twosome dying as a representation of the worst parts of both of them, against the backdrop of whatever they're saying about piracy, has a bit more meat to me. again, as an idea that could have worked if it was done with any consistency.

on more of a sidenote, if this were the case I don't think it was/would have been the fan response that would have stopped DJ & co from killing off Ed; I think it's pretty clear from that interview that the commitment to the romance came from what happened on set. (which is still surprisingly late in the game, though the article seems to imply the bathtub scene was shot early on.)

it's an absolutely fascinating statement (partly for being so surprising) but when it comes to speculating on the implications I'm kind of floundering without more information. what was the follow-up to blackbonnet's falling out going to be if a reunion wasn't on the cards? were the characters going to develop in parallel, still exploring themes like masculinity and what being a pirate (captain) means? or was Ed just a stop on Stede's journey? were they going to be awkward-to-bitter exes? did the idea of a three-season arc exist before the romance solidified itself and in that case what was the driving force?

similarly, I feel like the stuff about the end of piracy in ep8 (which admittedly I've only watched the once. not exactly intentionally but my slow rewatch has been very slow.), and Izzy's (narrative, symbolic) role in it, consists of too few, too small, disjointed pieces for me to draw any conclusions from*. clearly they were going somewhere with it, and clearly there wasn't enough room in the season to actually do that. maybe season 3 would have answered some of my questions. (the hints that we would have found out more about Izzy in season 3 are interesting as well.) but I suspect even with a ten-episode season the storyline would have been compromised by trying to do two conflicting things with Izzy's character.

*the difference being that one of these is an epitextual tidbit about what could have been, and the other is, you know, part of the actual text.

imagining killing Ed as Blackbeard for a moment - obviously it could be very dramatic and tragic. maybe Ed in his kraken era without a genre-backed future does manage to kill himself by proxy. maybe Stede realizes too late what he had. or maybe they have to work together and Ed gets killed in the equivalent to the plotline that killed Izzy. the question then is what does it mean for the story? probably depends on my previous question of what Ed's role in that version of the story would have been.

I think it would also be pretty bleak for the indigenous, troubled soul, poet pirate captain Blackbeard to succumb to his own violent legacy while the touristy white guy that broke his heart gets to go on and maybe reap the lesson from both of their stories. unless he doesn't, obviously, maybe Stede gets hanged too. still pretty bleak. which is not to say bleak is categorically bad, but that would be a drastically different show.

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

Thinking about episode endings after a full series rewatch, and how well they are each crafted, and how they play into the character's arcs and trajectories. It's very consistent, too. OFMD's episode endings are meticulously designed and leave you with a very specific mood you are supposed to take away from each episode.

Episode 1? The plot is a mixed bag of moods, funny and heartbreaking both as we learn about Stede's past and his not so super successful pirate career. We see Stede begin to bond with his crew a bit towards the end, seeming to start finding his footing in piracy. He defeats an old bully. Nigel gets what he had coming for him, really. The Revenge crew ends the episode celebrating, the ship flying all of their flags as a sign for the community they will come to be. Stede through? Stede ends the episode crying. Alone. Isolated from his crew. Isolated and appearing like a strong manly man who killed a bully. But it isn't what is good for him. The music is sad. Stede's sad. He misses his family. He's alone and adrift. Not a happy ending. Not even a very hopeful ending.

Episode 2 is better. Stede didn't only go on an adventure and was successful at it, he is healing from his guilt over Badminton, not because he now became a bloodthirsty killer pirate, but because he found support and care and human connection from the tribal elder and from beginning to actually bond with his crew. The ending ia hopeful, with music that fits this vibe. Stede is getting better. He's finding his own way to do things now. Instead of trying to fit the mould of default pirate captains, he'll be a polite menace. That'll be his own brand. (We are told this early that characters will be happy and successful if they receive love and support and can lead lives that fit their personality. This theme continues throughout. This show is super consistent with its concepts.)

Episode 3 is funny because throughout it seems to be going well(ish) for Stede, but the ending is a disaster. He's nearly dead when the episode draws to a close. And yet, the ending feels super hopeful, with the music and Ed's appearance. It doesn't matter that Stede is the worst pirate captain in history; the love of his life just walked on stage!

The mood in episode 4 is influenced heavily by getting to actually know Ed and by Ed and Stede meeting and their immediate chemistry. With the fuckery and the marmalade breakfast, it feels like it's off to a happy ending, but then Ed feels like he has to wrap his wish to retire into a Blackbeard suitable coat for Izzy, and there goes the happy mood. Ed's face when he turns his back on Izzy kills me every time, because this is not the face of a man who wants to commit a spot of murder. This is the face of a man treading water, waiting to drown. And "The Empty Boat"? Fuck. (This ending is the Ed-version of us being told that a) traditional piracy is not a good way of life and b) that bending ourselves to fit an expectation is going to harm us.)

Episode 5 has a hopeful ending. Romantic moment under a full moon, even after a bad time at the fancy party. Because the fancy party is unimportant, what's important is that you have someone on your side who accepts and supports you.

And this goes on through the entire show. The ending of an episode tells us exactly if things are good or bad for our protagonists. Episodes have hopeful, happy endings when they individually work towards being true to themselves and doing what makes them happy, regardless of what others might think, and when they are together. This is a romance, the show is the relationship, and things end well when they are together and in tune. Co-captains! The Chain! They end this episode tied up by the Navy, but it's a hopeful, good ending because they are together. Ed came back (never left).

They are miserable when apart and when trying to live according to outsider ideals. Episode 9 and 10 have sad endings, 10 slightly less because Stede's part is hopeful, but it doesn't really save us from the misery of Ed sobbing in the window. I could cry over the ending credits to Impossible Birds every time, how do they make this song feel so fucking sad? Ed's little "dismissed"?😭 And the utter silence and storm sounds, no music, after Ed's broken "Finally"? Fuck. They want us to get out of these episodes feeling utterly destroyed, and they are successful. It doesn't even matter that even those dark episodes at the end of season one and beginning of season two have plenty of actually funny and hopeful moments, because this sad endingis the feeling that stays with you.

But the moment they are back together? They're holding hands so tightly. There's a little life still there. A lot of strength left. S2 Episode 3 is a very heavy episode throughout, but the ending? So light and hopeful.

Episodes 4, 5 and 6 are like the opposite to the beginning of S1. There is conflict, and healing, many different moods, they aren't all light and funny episodes throughout, but each of them ends on a beautiful song and with Ed and Stede having a moment that brings them closer together. They're on the right way, and you can feel it. (Compare Episode 6's ending to the ending of the pilot. Stede killed a man who deserved it. He was crying after. But this time, he isn't isolated and alone. Ed's there to comfort him. This episode doesn't end with a sad song and Stede crying. It ends with a love song and fireworks while Ed and Stede make love for the first time and find comfort in each other. It's a similar situation in the beginning, but then it really isn't.)

Episode 7 has them both fumbling and falling back into bad patterns, and the ending isn't light and happy again, because they aren't.

But Episode 8? It's such an exciting whirlwind. The fights with the navy, the lovely letter, the reunion kiss. "I love you." "I know." Izzy's death. Episode 8 is a rollercoaster. But its ending? So happy and hopeful. They're together. They're doing what's good for them. The Revenge sails into the sunset. Ed and Stede have no second thoughts. Good bones. They're gonna be fine and happy and together.

I don't even know if this is a sensible analysis, but I feel like the endings of each episode just flow so well with the character arcs and allover plot. It feels very coherent. Like it's a theme. Like it was done on purpose. I know they wanted a third season and I'll be forever mad we didn't get it, but the two seasons that we got fit really well on a classic dramatic structure. Things kinda suck for the protagonists in the beginning, then it gets better when they grow as people and grow closer, then oops, catastrophe, and then everyone heals and things fall into place. And you can tell by the mood of the episode endings which part of this allover narrative arc you're on. I just think it's neat. It's very tight story telling.

(Also, looking at it like this, I'm pretty convinced they knew how likely a cancellation was the entire time they were writing s2. They hoped, sure, but they wrote not just the season finale, but the second season's entire arc with that in mind. It's written like the second half of a full story. The catastrophe is smack in the middle. Season 2 's arc steadily moves towards the happy ending. Good Omens' second season -comparable because they were both planned to be three part stories with similar runtimes - ends like OFMD's first season. GO S2 feels, in its entirety, like the middle of a story. It is continuously rising action, moving steadily towards disaster. OFMD's S2 moves steadily away from it starting in its third episode. This is written to be a full story. Yes there would have been more story to tell. But they wrote it to be complete anyway. It's baked into its very structure.)

[redshiftsinger]

YES

also I wanna say something specifically in regards to:

“Ed has anger management issues"

...he absolutely the fuck does NOT have anger management issues. He's SURPRISINGLY GOOD at managing his very reasonable anger. When the French captain is racist to him his initial reaction is to offer a tonal warning along with a chance to retract the statement. His words say "what was that, mate?" and his tone says "I know what you said and it was incredibly rude, I'm gonna give you a chance to clarify if you didn't mean to be that rude but you're on thin ice". The captain doubles down on the racist shit and Ed's reaction is to first pause, and seem to come to a decision about how to respond, before he "flies into a rage" (a "rage" in which, notably, he does not actually physically harm the target of his anger. He screams, he uses threatening body language, but he does not commit direct physical violence at that point. It's all intimidation posturing).

He's not out of control. He's very IN control, he's just decided that showing his anger very explicitly is the best way to deal with the situation -- as also evidenced by the fact that he outwardly calms down instantly when Stede suggests doing so. A person out of control with rage can't switch back to a normal speaking voice and disengage from the conflict on a dime like that. A person truly out of control with rage would have turned some of that rage on the person who interrupted them.

Before he smashes the chair, he also pauses to politely wipe his mouth with his napkin. That's also not the action of a person out of control with rage. A person who's out of control wouldn't pause for a little polite gesture of table manners.

We also see his ability to perform "out of control anger" convincingly when not even actually angry at all, when he's teaching Stede how to interrogate a hostage effectively.

At the fancy party, his initial "violent" reaction is to being startled by Antoinette touching his beard unexpectedly, and he doesn't follow through with committing actual violence. Then, again, he pauses to assess and decide before going with an attempt at verbal intimidation and then fleeing.

And when he punched Izzy in s1e9, it was one single punch, after which he stopped displaying anger altogether -- also not the behavior of someone "out of control". Also, notably, Izzy's reaction to being punched was "ok that's fair", which indicates he accepted getting decked as being within the bounds of normal, proportional responses to his offense per the rules of the world they live in.

Every time Ed engages in a big showy display of anger, he pauses before doing it. He takes a moment to consider the situation and consciously choose how to respond, and his typical choices are either Intimidation Posturing or the fairly closely-related Break Inanimate Objects, either one followed quickly by Either Leave The Area Of Conflict Or Have The Offending Party Removed; the ONLY time he reacts with Commit Direct Physical Violence Against A Person is against Izzy, and it comes after failing to defuse the situation with a verbal deflection or with letting Izzy rant for a bit -- in s1e4 Izzy gets similarly ranty, and Ed similarly just lets him go off, and then Izzy calms down, so it makes sense to read this as a common dynamic for them, except that in s1e10 Izzy took his ranting further and not only called Ed a homophobic slur but actually issued a credible verbal threat of harm against him, which he did not do before (in s1e4 his only threat was to resign and the worst insult he used was "twat" which is pretty much just a generic go-to for him) and which also wasn't part of the equation in the other situations where Ed chose to respond with overt displays of anger. In that context, it makes a lot of sense for him to respond with an escalated form of Intimidation Posturing that involves an illustrative display of his ability and willingness to deal actual physical harm (without actually doing real harm yet -- Izzy doesn't seem particularly hurt or even afraid, but rather triumphant that he's gotten the reaction he wanted). And there, too, he pauses briefly before moving, to decide what to do. His choice of response when angry isn't always the most adaptive possible option, but that's the emotional immaturity and the lack of having had many chances to learn or practice healthier options to express the intensity of his feelings adequately and/or to enforce his boundaries without resorting to intimidation tactics or a brief physical outburst.

Alright, I’m gonna talk about Ed and abuse.

“Why, V? Why are you spending your precious time on Earth typing about some dumb fandom stuff when you could be doing literally anything else?”

In short, seeing all of these “Ed is an abuser who’s inevitably going to hurt Stede” takes have been driving me absolutely bonkers since I first noticed them. They’re not going away, so I’m going to bang out an essay. 

In less-short: it’s because abuse is a serious thing and, as someone who’s experienced it, I get a little feisty when it becomes a topic of discourse in my silly pirate fandom. It’s because it’s upsetting to read meta after meta accusing an indigenous man of being an abuser. It’s because a lot of the abuse discourse in the fandom fails to separate real-life abuse from violence in a show. It’s because the vast majority of the abuse talk only acknowledges physical abuse which, while terrible, is not the only kind that hurts people and utterly destroys their lives. 

It’s because calling Ed abusive or insisting that he’s a future abuser can harm people who are like him -- people who have suffered abuse or get angry sometimes or have hurt people when they were hurt. Victims of abuse, especially those who dealt with it in childhood, often fear becoming abusers themselves. They bottle up their anger for fear of hurting someone. They hurt themselves in a misguided attempt to protect others. They don’t need to see fandom meta that enforces their fears.

And it’s because, frankly, I am disabled and unemployed and I promise I’ll stop if you give me a transcription or copyediting job, please and thank you.

Before I get into it…

I may as well come clean and say that I’m on team Ed absolutely isn’t abusive and it’s weird that people are getting that from a show that’s full of violence. 

Plenty has been typed in Ed’s defense by POC in the fandom, so I’m not going to go into how deeply unfortunate it would be to make an indigenous main character an abuser. I’m just going to say that, when you consider OFMD’s genre and attitude towards violence, it seems clear to me that you can’t call Ed abusive without calling out other characters (unless you have some kind of bias against Ed). His actions are deplorable in the real world, a bit much in OFMD’s world, deeply unhealthy, not okay by any means, and shitty and traumatizing for his crew, but they aren’t abusive.

I’m going to try to keep things polite and respectful. I’m also going to try to stick close to what the text is trying to say instead of doing that thing I did in college where, when I hated whatever I was supposed to write about, I came up with a batshit thesis that entertained me and forced the text to support me. I truly do want to present an honest, earnest analysis of something that I love. 

(If you saw this before I cut for length, shut up, no you didn't.)

The arguments in favor of Ed as an abuser.

We can’t defend an idea without knowing what we’re arguing against (with brief counterpoints that I hope to expand on later). For this section (lol, sections, that feels pretentious and weird and I’m sorry), I’ll be lightly rephrasing things and omitting sources.

“Ed has anger management issues that disqualify him from being a romantic lead.”

Counterpoint: Ed does not have anger management issues. (Even if he did, I can think of a few very successful franchises with shitty and violent romantic leads. Ew.) He gets angry sometimes, as we all do.

“I defended Ed making Izzy eat his toe because that was a single instance and abuse is a pattern. Season two made it an explicit pattern.”

Counterpoint: First, feeding people their toes isn’t a biggie in this universe. Second, Ed fed Izzy that initial toe because he stepped out of line and demanded Blackbeard; it’s likely that additional toes were the victims of Izzy not being obedient. (I’m not saying this is right or that it’s cool to feed people body parts when they disobey, btw. I hope that doesn’t need to be said.)

“The first two episodes of season two set up the cycle of abuse so well, but the show never follows through. It doesn’t even acknowledge that it set up that storyline. If they’d wanted to end the season on a happy note without spending a lot of time fixing Ed’s relationship with the crew, they could have just made Ed’s behavior in the first two episodes less dark and abusive.”

Counterpoint: Ed’s behavior in the first two episodes isn’t abusive. It’s a bit over the top and it hurts people, yeah, but Ed’s definitely not following in his abusive father’s footsteps and systematically abusing his crew.

“Season two gives us straight up abuse. It gives us Stede, still soft around the edges, being deliberately headbutted during their reunion.”

Counterpoint: There is no abuse between Ed and Stede. The headbutt was not a case of a violent person intentionally hitting their passive partner; it was a confused, unwell, and nonverbal man reacting to the presence of someone who hurt him. Also? Stede has no problem setting boundaries or speaking out. Good for him!

“As bad as the season finale was, I’m glad the crew’s safe from Ed. Now that Izzy isn’t there to protect them, any little trigger could set Ed off and lead to him hurting them. Stede, though… Stede’s stuck with Ed and the corpse of Ed’s last victim, and it’s only a matter of time before Ed destroys him too.”

Counterpoint: This take is so far removed from the text of the show that I don’t know how to address it quickly, but here we go: Ed is not a threat to the crew after episode two, Izzy did not protect the crew from Ed’s moods, Ed does not have a hair-trigger temper, Izzy is not Ed’s victim, and -- vitally -- Stede is in absolutely no danger. Ed is not destined to be an abusive partner in season three.

And an overriding counterpoint to everything is this: Our Flag Means Death is a comedy with tons of over-the-top violence. If your theory is unrelentingly grim or looks at violence and its consequences in a real-world light, consider stepping back and remembering what genre the events of the show are happening in. If you think that only the violence committed by the indigenous lead is abuse, look at the actions of the other characters and ask yourself why Ed doesn’t get the same grace you’ve granted the others.

With that quick and dirty rundown of the arguments I’ve seen, let’s move on to the next important step in building an argument: definitions.

What is abuse in the real world?

In the real world, abuse is extremely serious and not something to be taken lightly. But what is abuse? We can’t say much about it in any world without knowing what it is in ours, so here’s a simple explanation:

Abuse “includes [a pattern of] behaviors that physically harm, intimidate, manipulate, or control a partner or otherwise force them to behave in ways they don’t want to. This can happen through physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, or financial control.” (1)

“Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten someone. These behaviors are often more subtle and hard to identify but are just as serious as other types of abuse.” (2)

It’s important to emphasize that not all purposeful harm to another person, physical or otherwise, is abuse. “What abuse really means is control. When a truly abusive situation exists, it’s because one party is seeking to control the other through abuse.” (2)

To summarize, abuse is a pattern of behavior that involves one person intentionally harming another. That harm is meant to control, and it can take on more forms than just physical. 

That said, I’m mostly concerned with physical abuse here, as that’s the only kind that I’ve ever seen discussed in relation to Ed. Going into mental and emotional abuse will involve talking more about a specific non-Ed character and I don’t want to go there. Possibly ever.

In our world, all abuse is terrible. Vitally, our world -- and this is very important, so underline it twice if you’re taking notes -- does not operate by the rules of a pirate rom-com.

Okay, so what is abuse in the silly pirate world of Our Flag Means Death?

First, we have to understand what the show is. @piratecaptainscaptainpirates lays it out nicely:

“1. This is a rom-com.The central romance between Ed and Stede and comedy are therefore the two most core parts of the show, with Ed and Stede's romance taking priority over everything else. That's not to say OFMD doesn't have dark themes, it absolutely does; it's to say that comedy is always important to how the show is written, acted, and filmed.

“2. This is not a subtle show. That's not to say it's a simple one [...]. It's amazingly layered and emotional responses by characters are often extremely complex. However, when the show is trying to tell you something, it's not subtle and it never tries to hide it.” (3)

Did you jot that down? Our Flag Means Death is a romantic comedy with one core romantic couple, Ed and Stede, whose story takes priority over everything else. It can be dark, it can be serious, but it is, at its core, a comedy, and not a subtle one at that.

Some things are just funny and that’s it.

As a rule, the most obvious reading is going to be the one to go with. The show’s meanings aren’t hidden under layers of red herrings and subtext; if you’re compelled to bring out the conspiracy corkboard, you’re probably in too deep.

But this isn’t just a rom-com: it’s a pirate rom-com, and that comes with gratuitous violence. Here’s a short, fun list of examples of things that we can consider canon-typical pirate violence:

Tying hostages to the mast and letting them cook a bit

Wanton murder during a raid (“Note the gusto!”)

Pirate A threatening his crush at gunpoint until Pirate B gutstabs him

Whippies and yardies

Cutting off toes and feeding them to people “for a laugh”

Pirates who are madly in love stabbing and poisoning each other

Literally any violence directed at a racist (this violence is, in fact, good and encouraged)

There’s also the pirate-typical killing of other pirates. Duels don’t seem entirely unusual, and Izzy outright tries to get Stede killed at several points in season one. When Chauncey Badminton and the English navy show up after being summoned by Izzy, Stede’s life isn’t the only one on the line; the rest of the crew is also put in potentially life-threatening danger. Izzy is forgiven, so I think it’s safe to say that attempted murder is the kind of thing that pirates typically move on from. Eventually. If the attempted murderer is pathetic enough.

In short, Our Flag Means Death has a lot of violence, and very few instances of violence (looking at you, Hornigold) are treated as anything other than socially acceptable. But do you know what’s really important in the show?

Feelings.

The way characters feel as a result of something is given an immense amount of weight. All of the show’s subtleties are in the realms of the mental and the emotional, and that’s where the real pain is too. 

Nigel Badminton’s death was bad because it was emotionally and mentally devastating for Stede. Ed’s father’s murder was bad because it hurt him and forced him to create a monstrous alter ego to cope. Both of those men -- Nigel and Father Teach -- are totally acceptable casualties; their deaths would be net positives if they hadn’t had such strong impacts on our leads.

Feelings are everything in Our Flag Means Death, and the feelings of our leads are the heart of the show. That’s where the story is; that’s where the complexity and ambiguity is. 

So what is abuse in this context? The casual treatment of physical violence and the seriousness of emotional distress tell us to adjust our own moral judgments accordingly. Physical violence is everyday, straightforward, and often comedic; emotional violence is devastating and complicated. Physical violence is cartoonish and, half the time, part of a punchline. Emotional violence is real and raw and not a joking matter. Attempted murder can be shrugged off; ditching your boyfriend after experiencing a traumatic event is more complicated.

When we ask ourselves if something in OFMD is abuse, we have to consider the act in the context of a rom-com that’s all about the feelings of two guys, set against the violent backdrop of piracy, and absolutely packed with people getting maimed and murdered in casual, comedic ways. 

Awesome! Now we’re a little clearer about definitions and genre and how we should adjust our expectations! Unfortunately, we haven’t jumped into the real meat of whatever the hell this essay is…

Is Ed abusive in the context of the show?

No.

Aaaand we’re done!

Joking, joking. Obviously I’m going to pick out the examples of “abuse” that people cite and discuss each one, but first: we need to talk about Ed, violence, and anger. 

Ed is not a violent person. He’s not full of rage that’s threatening to erupt at all times, and he’s not some kind of sadist that revels in hurting people. The violence of Blackbeard is a fuckery: the theater of fear, an illusion of cruelty calculated to terrify enemies into surrendering. 

Ed has his whole thing with murder that's rooted in childhood trauma. Killing his (canonically, decidedly) abusive father to protect his mother scars him so badly that he distances himself from the situation -- blames Father Teach’s death on the Kraken -- and can’t bring himself to directly kill anyone else after that. Blackbeard orders murders and causes deaths and maims and maintains his image as a bloodthirsty murderer, but Ed doesn’t do “the big job” himself until the end of season two. When Stede’s life is in the balance, Ed can kill to protect him. 

Edward Teach kills only to protect.

But that’s killing, and we’re talking about general violence. Ed is casual about the day-to-day violence of piracy. He participates in it, incites it, and doesn’t feel bad about it. No one does! It’s part of the job! 

That leaves us with the "anger problem." Ed is frequently characterized as an angry person who lashes out when enraged, and I don’t think that canon at all supports this interpretation. Ed gets mad, yes, but his anger is always at least understandable. It isn’t a constant, simmering thing that turns him into an abusive monster when he’s triggered. He doesn't always deal with his anger (or any of his other feelings) in a good and constructive way because both of our leads lack emotional maturity, but I think it's a mistake to characterize him as an angry person.

Hopefully I can elaborate on this idea -- the idea that Ed is only violent and angry in a normal and canon-appropriate way, and anger is by no means one of his defining characteristics -- by doing a run-down of all of the times Ed is accused of being abusive or showing signs of being an abuser.

Sooooo...

Ed loses his shit on a falling snake during his nature adventure with Stede (S1E7). In this scene, he’s embarrassed about the whole treasure hunt thing and annoyed by the very existence of nature. He is not relaxed. When nature takes him by surprise by falling on him, he stabs the crap out of it in a scene that is played for comedy. There’s the important part: this is comedy. Ed is grumpy and his childish tantrum is harmless and silly. It isn’t a red flag. Overreacting while irritated isn’t an indicator that someone will be abusive.

Ed punches Izzy after the English have taken the Revenge, captured Stede, and turned Ed over to Izzy (S1E9). Honestly, I think the fact that Ed lets Izzy talk before punching him demonstrates a great deal of restraint on his part! This is justified anger and fear for Stede’s life. This also isn’t some sign that Ed hits Izzy on the regular.

In his post-pillow fort era, Ed is cleaning up his cabin when that one highly contentious Izzy scene happens (S1E10). Izzy insults Ed, tells him that he’d be better off dead than as he currently is, and says that he serves only Blackbeard (Ed better watch his fucking step). Ed reacts by grabbing Izzy by the throat and telling him to choose his next words carefully. This, in my opinion, is a valid way for a pirate captain to react to insubordination. At the very least, it doesn't tell us that Ed is Izzy's abuser; there's no indication that this isn't a one-off provocation and reaction.

Which takes us to The Toe Scene.

In real life, it would be extremely fucked up for a boss to remove an employee’s toe and make him eat it. OFMD is not real life. One episode earlier, Ed was talking about the life he was glad to leave behind -- the life where The Toe Thing was done “for a laugh.” Not as punishment, but for fun. It’s set up as something that’s gross (“yuck”), not a grave punishment. When Ed feeds Izzy his toe, he gives Izzy what be asked for: he gives him a violent captain. He gives him Blackbeard. He gives him the guy who fed people toes for fun.

But what’s important here is that Ed is not having fun. He’s having a hell of a lot less fun than Izzy is, going by their expressions in the scene. This isn’t who he wants to be, but after having the possibility of a better life snatched away, Ed throws himself back into the sure thing. He becomes the Kraken -- the captain Izzy wants, the violent monster that Ed thinks he is and tries to distance himself from, and the only thing Ed thinks he can be. It’s sad. It’s desperation, not anger and abuse.

In the second season, Ed headbutts Stede after he’s revived from his coma/death (S2E4). In the next scene, Stede is holding a cold steak to his face and calling it an accident. Roach says “that’s what they all say” -- a line that alludes to domestic violence. The thing is? It’s not, and the crew has expectations of Ed that Stede doesn’t.

Ed is freshly out of a coma (or newly alive). He’s nonverbal. His brain is, medically speaking, couscous. He still has one foot in the gravy basket. When he sees the man who left him hovering over him -- the man he loves, the man who just appeared to him as a mermaid -- he tries to say something then, when that fails, resorts to a headbutt. This is a single violent action perpetrated by a confused and hurt man who doesn’t know what to do with all of his feelings. He can't talk. He can't push Stede away.

Stede understands all of this, even if the other characters don’t. He sees the headbutt for what it is: a bit of a bitchy move. He isn’t afraid of Ed. He never is. 

Stede also isn’t afraid of Ed when he acts out later that episode (S2E4). When Ed learns that Stede went back to Mary, he excuses himself from the dinner table, smashes a chair against the wall, and knocks a vase to the ground. In this entire episode (this entire season, tbh), Ed is having intense feelings that he doesn’t know how to express or work through; the reveal that Stede returned to his wife is the final straw. He takes his tangled feelings out on an acceptable target (a chair, a vase) instead of Stede because he doesn’t want to hurt Stede.

This looks a little like displacement -- when “an unacceptable feeling or thought about a person, place or thing is redirected towards a safer target.” Displacement is an “intermediate level coping mechanism.” That is, it’s more sophisticated than the ways children deal with intense issues, but it’s still not entirely mature. In an adult, it indicates a level of emotional immaturity. (4) Ed is emotionally immature, not inherently violent. He gets overwhelmed by his feelings and lashes out -- not at a person, but at something that can’t get hurt. 

Displacement is not an indicator that someone is an abuser. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s an attempt at emotional regulation. It’s not the best coping mechanism, but it’s definitely not a sign that someone is going to go into a rage and assault people.

Stede cringes when Ed smashes the chair and sends the vase crashing to the ground, but he’s not afraid of Ed. He is never afraid of Ed because he knows that Ed isn’t a real threat to him. He cringes because sometimes that's what a person does when a loud thing happens. That's what people do when chair shrapnel starts flying. Also? It's kind of embarrassing behavior on Ed's part. They're guests enjoying a mediocre dinner! That's no way to act!

And this leaves us with the first two episodes of season two, which are an absolute mess.

Ed is fully in his Kraken era. He has no hope that Stede will return, he no longer trusts the crew, and he feels trapped in a life he absolutely doesn’t want. He thinks that he has to perform Blackbeard until death sets him free. He sobs in his cabin when no one’s looking. Publicly, Ed fades into the role of remorseless and bloodthirsty pirate captain.

Needless to say, this makes for a shit work environment. Ed works the crew too hard. He drinks and does drugs and runs everyone ragged. He’s an absolutely terrible boss, but he isn’t abusive.

That isn’t to say that the crew left on the Revenge isn’t traumatized. They are! They’ve been thrown off balance by the sudden change for the worse in someone who was their friend, and they’re traumatized by the neverending violence that the constant raids -- raids that were bloody and deadly, not the fuckeries of the past -- demanded of them. They’re traumatized by that final night in the storm when Ed did everything in his power to goad them into killing him, almost murdering everyone in the process. They’re traumatized by their own attempt at murder.

In S2E4, Blackbeard’s crew has flashbacks to the violence they perpetrated under the Kraken: Jim fighting Archie, Fang breaking a man over his knee. They’re also haunted by guilt about what they did to Ed, as evidenced by their Lady Macbeth-style scrubbing. Their own violence is a significant part of their trauma in this episode.

No, that doesn’t absolve Ed. He drove the violence -- demanded it of both the crew and himself. He hurt other people because he was hurting, and that’s terrible. 

Ed’s behavior in the first two episodes of season two is horrible, but he’s not abusive. Not all bad or violent behavior is abuse.

(We also have to ask ourselves just how bad Ed’s behavior really is. Archie, someone from the pirate world who has no idea what the Revenge was like pre-Kraken, tells Jim “that’s how these things usually go” at the height of Ed’s violence. She doesn’t act like she experienced anything out of the ordinary which is, if I may be honest, kind of worrying. But ultimately, whether or not Ed’s actions when he was at his worst are normal for pirates doesn’t matter a ton here.) 

But what about Izzy, I’m sure you’re asking!

What about Izzy indeed. Ugh. Okay, let’s just… let’s walk through the first two episodes.

One of the first things we see Ed do in season two is shoot a man. At first this seems like the show telling us that Ed is embracing the kind of violence he couldn’t manage before, but if we pay attention, we can see that he’s still following his “not a murderer on a technicality” logic. The man he shoots has a sword through his chest; he's as good as dead. He also falls offscreen before Ed shoots, making the action less impactful.

OFMD is not subtle and this is a quick way to communicate what’s going on with Ed. He’s not doing well and he’s more violent than he was last season, but he’s still himself under the Kraken’s makeup. He hasn’t done a moral one-eighty. If the show wanted us to think that Ed's a monster, they would have made him a hell of a lot more violent.

So. Izzy.

Immediately after Ed tells Izzy that he’s replaceable in S2E1, we reach the scene that people point to and say, “That’s domestic violence!” This is where Izzy breaks down because he has just been told in no uncertain terms that he’s not Blackbeard’s special little guy. That’s devastating to him, and he cries when the crew shows him kindness. 

Jim tells Izzy he’s in an unhealthy relationship with Blackbeard; Frenchie describes their relationship as “toxic.” 

A toxic relationship is “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness." (5) And you know what? Yeah, Ed and Izzy definitely have a toxic relationship. Well-sussed, Frenchie! And is their relationship unhealthy? It sure is -- for both of them! But the crew is, understandably, more sympathetic towards Izzy because they’ve never been present when Izzy was hurting Ed. 

(Only tangentially related, but the crew must have really liked Ed pre-Kraken. As far as they know, the man went dark with no warning or cause. They deal with his bullshit for approximately three months (assuming one raid a day), and he has to go so far before they put an end to him. Remember when they were ready to toss Izzy overboard after, like, twelve hours under his command?)

Even though they only have one side of the Izzy and Ed story, the crew isn’t accusing Ed of domestic abuse. The term doesn’t apply to the mutually fucked-up thing that Izzy and Ed have and, beyond that, the scene is played for laughs. Jim and Frenchie use comically modern language; the whole thing feels like an intervention for a stressed-out middle manager with a shitty boss. It's funny. It's a comical thing in a comedy show.

Moving on.

Izzy returns to Ed and tells him that the crew won’t throw treasure overboard to make room for more treasure. Ed says, “And that’s another toe.” Losing a toe is the penalty for failing the captain.

Which is more likely: that Ed cut off Izzy’s other toes on a cruel whim, or that Ed cut off Izzy’s toes after other perceived failures? I’m going for option two. It’s obviously not okay to punish an underling by taking toes, but we’ve already established that toe-removal isn’t a cruel and unusual pirate punishment. It’s done “for a laugh.” 

(Specifically, toe-chopping is the cost of Izzy’s failure. Frenchie disobeys and lies to Ed in his short time as first mate and he doesn’t lose a single toe. Izzy bears the brunt of Ed’s cruelty because he’s the one who demanded it.) 

This is not who Ed wants to be, but it’s who he thinks he has to be. It’s who Izzy told him to be.

Izzy makes the mistake of invoking Stede and Ed storms above deck. He holds the crew at gunpoint, one by one, and asks them if they think that the vibes on the ship are poisonous. No one gives him a positive answer and Ed turns the gun on himself. He works himself up until Izzy interrupts and the following exchange happens:

IZZY: “The atmosphere on this ship is fucked. Everyone knows why.” ED: “Well, I don’t. Enlighten me.” IZZY: “Your feelings for Stede fucking Bo--”

 [Ed shoots Izzy in the leg. Ed steps over him on his way back to his cabin.]

ED: “Throw this shit overboard and get suited up.”

I don’t want to go into speculation about the true cause of the fucked up vibe on the Revenge (it’s clearly not just Ed’s feelings for Stede) or why, exactly, Ed shot Izzy. What’s important for this post is this: Ed's actions are not unusually cruel for a pirate captain who considers his first mate out of line. This is the kind of thing that the idea of Blackbeard that Izzy worships does to maintain his reputation.

Fang cries when Ed shoots Izzy because he knows Blackbeard. He has been with Blackbeard longer than anyone else, and this isn’t Blackbeard. Blackbeard doesn’t work his crew this hard. Blackbeard doesn’t disregard the deaths of long-time crewmates like Ivan. Blackbeard doesn’t shoot his own crew. Fang is off-balance and distraught because his captain of twenty years is acting far, far more cruel than the Blackbeard he knew.

This is not Ed as he usually is. Ed at his worst is breaking all of his past patterns. He’s behaving like a different person. His actions at this point in time are not typical of his past actions or predicative of his future actions.

When we reach S2E2, Ed is chipper. He’s cleaning up, he’s tying up loose ends, and he has decided that, no matter what, this is the day that he dies. He’s determined. First, he’ll give Izzy a crack at killing him; next is the storm, the destruction of the steering wheel, and taking increasingly desperate actions to get the crew to stop him. He tells Jim and Archie to fight to the death. He goes to blow the mast away with a cannon and doesn’t react as nameless crew members are being washed overboard. 

Ed is stopped only by Izzy’s reappearance and the violent mutiny that follows.

None of what Ed does here is abuse. This is desperate violence. This is an unwell man begging everyone around him to send him to doggy heaven.

And finally, we have the big murder party in the season finale. A surprising number of fans interpret Ed’s willingness to cut down naval officers as a sure sign that he’s gotten worse and he’s more violent than ever. This is, in my opinion, a take that completely ignores everything we know about Ed and his relationship to violence.

I said it before, but it bears repeating: Edward Teach kills only to protect. He murdered his father to protect his mother. He mows down colonists for Stede. He kills for love, and by the end of season two, he has made some kind of peace with the Kraken and his own capacity for violence.

It’s sweet. Like, it wouldn’t be sweet in the real world, but in this world? In a world where physical violence is funny more often than it’s serious? In a world full of pirate characters who all have hefty body counts? It’s growth. It’s Ed healing.

Ed is doing better. He’s not a threat to the man he loves, and now he’s not a threat to himself either.

Anyway!

No, Ed is not abusive. No, there’s no indication that Ed will become abusive in the future.

“Okay, but many abuse survivors take issue with the irresponsible message that Jenkins is subtextually sending with Ed’s story!”

That’s fine. Take issue with things. Feel whatever you want to feel, but remember that abuse survivors are not a monolith. Consider, just for a moment, that the abuse you think you see in the show is not textual. Ask yourself if Ed is truly worse than all of the other characters or if you have some bias warping your view of him. 

Finally: please keep in mind that I’m not trying to present The One True Interpretation. I’m just rolling all of my arguments and thoughts into one big ol' ball and throwing it out into the wild. You don’t have to agree with me but, if you don’t, I hope you’ll at least have a bit of a think.

If you read this and liked it, please consider validating me with a like! If you read it and didn’t like it, I’m sorry for wasting your time. If you skimmed the first part and decided to dismiss me as soon as I said I don’t think that Ed is abusive… idk, peace and love and goodbye.

[chuplayswithfire]

this thought just hit me but it's got me in my chest, its really got me here, but i don't think edward is actually a violent person at all. violence is a tool of the trade and a means to an end and he's absolutely aggressive as a front, but we don't really actually see ed being physically violent when its not for a job until the very end of the season, and i don't think that's a mistake.

ed's primary response to feeling humiliated or threatened is to threaten others, but he doesn't actually attack them. think about the french captain - when that man uses a slur against him, he gets up, he yells, he raises his voice, but the man is on the ground in front of him in a heap, perfectly vulnerable, and ed never once touches him when he's screaming and yelling, even when it might be easy and expected for him to kick him around.

he orders fang to kill the man, and in an exceedingly horrible fashion, absolutely, and its an expression of his anger, but its also about setting an example and reputation. you use racial slurs against blackbeard? you insult blackbeard? you die screaming horribly.

and ed doesn't watch. ed doesn't have it happen in front of him. ed doesn't even seem to enjoy it so much as he's fucking furious and setting an example, but he never gets his own hands dirty with it.

in the same way, when he threatens someone for the loot - its the clearest example of him turning aggression on like a switch, stabbing a knife, threatening violence, but never actually USING violence.

on the party boat, in that horrible moment at the party? his response is to get up and make himself bigger and louder and threaten but again, he doesn't try to hurt anyone. we see that he HAD his weapon, and there were plenty of knives at that table, and blackbeard could absolutely take down a bunch of snobby, snotty, rich punks. but he DOESN'T. he flees, and only thinks about actually engaging in violence when he's too far away to do it. and he lets himself be talked down in seconds.

when we actually see ed commit some physical violence for the first time, its against his abusive father, in what appears to be at least a slightly premeditated kill to remove his father from his and his mother's life. we see that ed's father smacked his mother around, that he threw plates, that he was a drunk and expressed his frustrations with violence - and killing him would appear to be the last time ed struck out at a PERSON in violence that wasn't about the job

(person because he did kill that snake viciously and with prejudice, though i think thats reasonable tbh. reminds me of myself with the broom every time i see a bug in my house -)

even with calico jack, ed's violence is all games and fun - shooting bottles, shooting drawers, getting whipped, staging a turtle vs crab fight, throwing coconuts at each other - and the only time he gets physical otherwise is when he snaps jack's oar over his leg and dives off the boat. even though finding out your friends have been sold out by one of your oldest buddies is absolutely the time most people would throw a punch, ed doesn't.

the first time we see him be violent towards a person in the present is with izzy when he punches him in the face directly after being released into his care and being told stede's going to die now, because of izzy. stede, who ed loves and who izzy KNOWS ed loves and who ed knows izzy knows ed loves, just to make that sentence more confusing. it's the first time we see ed react with violence and its equal parts to get away and defend stede as it is because of the emotional upheaval.

the next time we see ed lash out with violence is after he endures a truly terrible amount of homophobic aggression from izzy. it's emotional and verbal abuse, but its also just, such utter homophobic aggression, and this might be controversial but i think its perfectly RIGHT that ed strike izzy in that moment. when someone tells a queer person that their affection, their love, their mourning, their grief and loss for their partner makes them a THING that should have been killed, that doesn't deserve to live, that they would be better off dead than being openly affectionately mourningly queer? that person actually does deserve to face some physical violence!

fuck that shit!

izzy absolutely deserved to get the shit KICKED out of him in that moment, but its not about what izzy deserves, its about what ed needs, and what ed did not need was to be kicked at his lowest with every sore spot to goad him into violence (reasonable, understandable, VALID violence) that absolutely seemed to take him right back to his father, to that abuse. there's a reason ed didn't just become blackbeard again, but the kraken, who was born in ed's survival instinct but also his need to escape an abusive situation. ed becomes the kraken again because he is horrified at himself and terrified of himself and what he's become, if he can be like his father and lash out with violence when he's angry, and because izzy *validates* that and tells him that this thing he hates is all he can be.

but ed isn't naturally inclined to violence, its not his natural state, its a defense mechanism that kicks in when all else is lost. we KNOW its not just because of disrespect because izzy?

izzy is utterly disrespectful to edward at various points in the show. izzy calls him a twat to his face. izzy questions him. izzy insults him and yells at him and edward laughs it off and shrugs it away and changes the conversation and leaves the conversation. izzy initiates violence at every turn with so many characters, and ed doesn't step up to the plate to dish any out until the very end, when he's hurt and vulnerable and doesn't think he can get away from this. i DON'T think that ed has been violent with izzy this whole time, in their history. it doesn't fit with ed's behavior. it doesn't fit with izzys - izzy would have called ed out on it, if ed normally punched or slapped or choked izzy for insubordination, because its clearly part of their regular routine.

this is why it means so much that ed shoves lucius over, barely seeming to be present, fully emotionally distanced, that he cuts izzy's toe off in the dark and makes him eat it in a show of calculated violence without much emotion at all, has the crew marooned with utter calm, and then has a sobbing breakdown the second he's behind closed doors. violence has been part of his life as part of the job, not as an emotional outlet, and its killing him to make it one.

[itachi-with-a-chicken]

So we all heard of mateolate or however is written

And i agree it would be lovely to have stede and ed to have it officiated by Olu with wee John flower girl

BUT

I believe that the first who will actually seal the deal will be Lucius and Black Pete

Just. Think about it. Lucius in distress after the whole situation with Ed. Pete marooned on the island with the others.

Both very much in love with the other

Of course as soon as they'll reunited they'll want to tie the notch, as to speak

"but what about the Edward situation" it's already dealt with they're all back on the revenge and things between Ed and Stede are tense but that irrelevant

They have a wedding to prepare

Also Edward is just creeping in the shadows because the crew is quite divided about him like he's been a bitch but also it was kinda their captain fault so who's to say who did really the wrong here

"i am to say" says Lucius "I'm the one he tried to murder"

"now now, murder is such an harsh word.. why don't you focus on what you want for cake and you let me handle Edward?"

So yeah Stede is vouching for him and nobody really care what Izzy is thinking

Hence matelotage will be!

Takes them really few days to set everything up. The lights, the food, the drinks, mostly

By the actual day to come they even manage to involve Edward in part of the planning, given his ability with special effects and so

And it's fine for him, until he has to interact with Stede

Then he gets all impatient and nervous and always seems on the verge of throwing himself out in the sea

It would be adorable if the whole marooning and lucius-icide didn't happen

But it did so it's just weird

Not that it matters. Every time Stede tried to interact with him it's like watching a baby bird learning how to fly

Most of the time his face in on the floor covered in dirt

Not literally. Except for once, but then it was mostly Frenchie's fault anyway

Finally the actual day of the wedding arrives

Black Pete and Lucius were even wearing good clothes, stolen from a merchant vessel just the day before

The sun was going to dip into the ocean when Stede started the ceremony

Which wasn't long at all. There's just so many words you can say about committing oneself to another person in their line of living before getting repetitive

Besides, nobody was truly listening to him

Well. Not true. Someone was. A bit in the back, in the shadows, but eyes shiny and piercing as always

Edward was listening to every single word Stede uttered and hated himself for it

Because no matter how hurt he felt, he never managed to cut Stede out of his brain entirely

And now he was talking about how nice is to be free to let someone sees you as you are, love you as you are and be accepted in all your mistakes

In all your wrongdoings

In all your flaws

And he was looking at him and how dare he? Really? How dare he come back and then and then--

Well. The newlyweds are kissing now. The ceremony was over

Thank god he can go back to drink and maybe drown Stede voice

He was up the main mast conducting exactly this mission when night fell completely, Lucius and Pete were left on land to save everyone else from assisting to the consumption of their union and most of the crew was either drunk or asleep. Maybe both. Probably both.

The only sounds were the calm washing of the waves and Buttons moon ovation to the moon

And of course. Steps that were climbing the exact mast he was sitting on

Edward doesn't need to open his eyes to know who it was, but he did it anyway

Stede, with the scruff getting longer and his clothes way simpler that what he used to know him for, sat beside him and wordlessly stole his brandy

"There you are" he says later.

"Here I am" and silence falls once more.

"Lucius and Pete arrived safe and sound on land they... Gave us the signal so everyone else went to sleep or whatever"

Ed nods.

"most of them were anyway too drunk to function anymore so.. it was just for the best"

Ed nods once more. They keep trading the bootle and once more is Stede who breaks the silence

"lovely ceremony, wasn't it? They seemed very happy"

Ed felt a bitter laugh escape from his throat "fuck should I know mate"

"what, you've never witnessed a matelotage before? In all your years at the sea?"

Edward could just shut up and keep up with the silent treatment, but it's Stede, and for how much he's pissed off and mad and hurt he can never just stop speaking to Stede. Explaining him things.

Not when he's looking at him expectantly, ready to listen to anything he has to say

"fuck, mate, I don't know, in our... Line of business.. people rarely wants to parade a weak point like that, you know? It's like putting a target on them, and viceversa. Also" he chugs another bit of liquore

"makes little sense to talk about 'death do us apart' when it can happen literally a moment later"

Stede seemed to absorb his words with a little nod of the head

"As someone who's technically been married I would agree but I don't know. You say it makes little sense but..au contraire, my dear, i believe that when you find the absolute perfect person it's imperative that you commit yourself fully to them. Most importantly if your time together is short"

He says all of this with the same audacity he had earlier, when he spoke about love and acceptance for Lucius and Black Pete

He is looking at him, eyes set and strong, and for a moment it's a completely different night and everything is much easier and complicated at the same time

Edward wasn't a coward, so he looked back.

Another moon, another Stede, another Edward, but the same damn little to none space between them

As that night, Edward wasn't really ready. As that night, he wishes he was a little braver. Just enough to kiss Stede again.

Then Stede does something even crazier, by all standard

He takes on of his hands, set the brandy bottle aside, and takes into his for a moment, before raising it to his lips and kiss it softly

The touch is so gentle that nearly break him into million pieces again

Edward is transfixed. His fight or fly response is doing shit since the only good alternative is throwing himself down the damn mast and swim until he reaches China

But that would mean release Stede hold and. No. He wasn't gonna do that.

So he does nothing and just wait for the moment to pass, for the feeling to settle

Stede keeps quiet and rejoice that Edward is actually allowing him to do that

There's hope for him. For them.

He squeeze the hand one last time before releasing it and getting up

"oh, well, time to bed" he says, not really expecting an answer

He starts going down the steps, but then he stops, only his face visible now

"you know, you can join me" he says, his voice impossibility soft

Edward sit a little more straight, the hand Stede forsake now cold, and swallows

"maybe later" he lies, and both know it

"whenever you wish" is the goodnight Stede gives him

So Edward can pretend to go down later

Join Stede in his warm bed

Help him prepare for the night

And maybe one day it will be more than just words