marvelsincorrectquotes

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Mobius: What am I supposed to do while you’re gone?

Loki: I don’t know. What do you usually do when I’m gone?

Mobius: Wait for you to get back 🥺

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Mobius: I might have made a little mistake with the Loki variants.

Mobius: I wanted to get them on my side, so I bribed them with chocolate fondue and a dessert plate.

*crashing inside theater room, followed by loud voices and hysterical laughter*

Ravonna: You gave two unstable, unpredictable, and dangerous variants who have only eaten grape nuts and figs their whole lives as a treat chocolate??

Mobius: Yeah, maybe not my greatest plan…

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Loki, to Mobius: How's the sexiest person here?

Mobius, flipping casually through a magazine: I don't know. How are they?

Loki, flustered: I-

Sylvie, legs kicked up on a desk across the room and grinning smugly: I'm doing great, thanks!

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Loki, sarcastically: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Mobius, softly: You and me.

Loki, tearing up: *voice cracking* Okay...

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Peter: Whoever murders me best not be caught because I'm aiming to be featured on Buzzfeed: Unsolved.

Carol: I love how this implies your murder is inevitable. So much chaotic energy.

Peter: If you know me, you know it's inevitable.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Loki: So, here's an idea. We hang up mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever is under it

Mobius: Loki, no.

Sylvie: Mistlefoe...

Mobius: Sylvie, please stop encouraging them!

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Mobius, tending to Loki's wounds after a battle: How would you rate your pain?

Loki, grimacing: 0 stars. Definitely would not recommend.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Bucky: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen now!

Sam: Really? Name one law.

Bucky: ...

Bucky: Don't kill people?

Sam: That one's on me. I set the bar too low.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Steve: Bucky, how did you drop this plate?

Bucky: I was carrying too much and dropped it.

Steve: Your problem is you've got no common sense.

Bucky: I'VE GOT PLENTY OF COMMON SENSE

Bucky: I just choose to ignore it.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Peter: Um, Stephen, can I ask you for a favor?

Stephen: I would literally bring a multiversal war upon us for you...but continue.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Bucky: Who ate my piece of cake??? I was waiting to enjoy while watching The Hobbit.

Bucky: When I find out who did, I'm going to kil-

Sam: Oh, sorry Buck. It was me.

Bucky: And did you like it?? ☺️💖

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Bruce, reading a note sent for Tony: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Tony: :)

Bruce, reading the rest of the note: No, a summer's day is not a bitch."

Tony: :\

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Sam: Bucky and I were crossing the street when some guy drove by and honked at us.

Sarah: *sighing* What did Bucky do?

Sam: He chased the guy to the next red light, then reached in the car and-

Bucky, walking into the room: Anyone want a steering wheel?

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Mobius: Is...something burning?

Loki: Just my love for you!

Mobius, glancing around the kitchen: Loki, the toaster is on fire.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Tony: I'm sorry. I'm not very good with emotion.

Therapist: What emotion?

Tony: All of them.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Loki, after faking his death yet again but no one is grieving him like the fifteen bazillion times before: I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted.

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Loki, about Mobius: He never officially asked me to be his wife, but he never asked me to not be his wife either.

Loki: So, things are going pretty good!

Sylvie: ...