madhogthymaster

[madhogthymaster]

Nostalgia Numemon Has a Meltdown Live on Stream

Watch the full video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOT1YhSj0fY

Watch Melody’s streams here: twitch.tv/melodydickens

[madhogthymaster]

Devil May Rage Against The Machine

"DmC, the spectacularly failed reboot attempt of Devil May Cry, the gloriously try-hard Edgelord disasterpiece that was universally panned upon release for the crime of tainting the "sanctity" of the original... I believe it's time for a long overdue reevaluation."

Read the entire thread here.

[madhogthymaster]

We Can (Not) Survive This - Surviving Digimon, Feat. Melody Dickens and Sushi_Witch [Ep. 1]

Buy eSims for Gaza: https://gazaesims.com/ Find out how you can help Palestine: https://arab.org/ --- Madhog joined his friend Melody and her girlfriend Jessica (aka Sushi_Witch) in the adventure of a life time where nothing bad ever happens to anyone! Hurray! --- Watch Melody's streams live: https://www.twitch.tv/melodydickens

[madhogthymaster]

Monster Hunter: I Can't Remember The Story

"I would describe it as thus: what if you played Pokémon but most of the monsters were dragons and dinosaurs? And you fought alongside them? And you could ride them? And why aren't there more games like these?"

This will be the last thread from Twitter I post here for a while.

[madhogthymaster]

This is an Art Attack?

This is the most sick, depraved post I have ever made, and if there's such a thing as Hell then I am certainly going to it... but it was worth it!

Content warning: extreme violence, gore, your childhood ruined.

I have thoughts about the Terrifier franchise and if you would like to read them, here you go!

[madhogthymaster]

Be Confidently Wrong! | Horror Gaming Spooktacular!!!

It's Spooky Season, and you know what that means! --- Buy eSims for Gaza: https://gazaesims.com/ Find out how you can help Palestine: https://arab.org/

[madhogthymaster]

Mouth Gliding

In which I shower in praise a couple of indie titles. Read the full threads here and here.

[madhogthymaster]

I've come to make an announcement!

Melody Dickens and I will attempt to survive Digimon Survive tomorrow evening, 8pm (UK time) at: www.twitch.tv/melodydickens!

Be Theremon or be Squaremon!

[madhogthymaster]

Master Recs: Horror Cinema!

Do you like Horror films? Yes, you do. Here is a modest selection of 13 cinematic offerings to quench your thirst for seasonal spooks, from lesser-known gems to entertaining schlock and everything in-between. I have good taste and you are welcome.

Renfield (2023), dir. Chris McKay

Renfield rules so hard it hurts, let me tell you. Nicolas Cage as Dracula is already the best selling point imaginable but if you look past the premise, you'll find a heartwarming story about overcoming abuse and codependency, with loads of great action and gore to boot. Good old Nic hams it up to eleven as the Prince of Darkness, channeling the verve of Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee and Lon Cheney all rolled into a deliciously evil sandwich. He's legitimately monstrous and intimidating in a way the character has not been in decades.

It's very effective when he's presented as the abusive "partner" from which Renfield (as in, classic Movie Renfield) is trying to escape. I'm surprised by the lengths the film goes into depicting the emotional trappings of such a relationship - amidst all the funny jokes, that is. It pulls off the unenviable task of being a tonally cohesive Horror comedy, one that leaves no room for doubt as to which moments deserve to be treated seriously or not. Its homage to Golden Age Hollywood cinema and unapologetic queerness are also appreciated.

The House (2022), dir. Emma De Swaef, Niki Lindroth von Bahr, Paloma Baeza, Marc James Roels

The House is a stunning work of stop-motion animation and a solid anthology that explores the existential hang-ups and anxieties of the "Middle Class", crafting solid Horror (and not-so Horror) stories in the process. It has dancing bugs too! I recommend it.

Cocaine Bear (2023), dir. Elizabeth Banks

The last film appearance by the late Ray Liotta. Cocaine Bear is a gruesomely delightful time: a spunky schlock with a killer premise that hooks you up from the start, taking a self-indulgent, humorous sniff at its own status of being "Based on a True Story." This film had the audacity to feature a Wikipedia quote. It's great!

Sweet Home (1989), dir. Kiyoshi Kurosawa

Delightedly, I beheld 1989's Sweet Home, as expertly remastered by Kineko Video. It's a cheesy good time with glorious practical effects and a few, effective low-budget trickeries. I personally give it props for an unexpected Laurel & Hardy's Fra Diavolo reference! This classic is mostly renowned for its videogame adaptation which became a major influence for decades to come.

At the time of writing, the film can be watched on YouTube, making it the most easily accessible entry in this entire column.

Jennifer's Body (2009), dir. Karyn Kusama

It took me this long to finally watch Jennifer's Body, an underrated Horror comedy starring Megan Fox that was unjustly dismissed back in the day. She plays as a literal man-eater, by the way.

There is definitely a lot to enjoy from a modern take on Carmilla whereas the delectably gory blood-feasting works as a backdrop for a toxic high school friendship as well as a commentary on the consequences of sexist exploitation, misogyny and trauma. Save for the occasional slur, it holds up very well.

The Color Out of Space (2019), dir. Richard Stanley

A proper skin-crawler based off the eponymous story by H.P. Lovecraft. Its psychedelic and Stuart Gordon-esque visceral interpretation of the source material is a clever way to circumvent the issue of portraying an "indescribable" alien entity. The Colour, being an unfathomable force outside our science and rationale, serves as a reminder of how insignificant we are in the face of a larger universe we can never hope to comprehend. It works as a metaphor for our atavistic fears.

The film is very much about powerlessness, losing control, losing oneself to the madness or, alternatively, to the realization that nothing was ever "under control." It's Cosmic Horror done right - and also without the racist subtext. Oh, and Nicolas Cage is also in it. I might have buried the lead there.

Gretel and Hansel (2020), dir. Oz Perkins

Here's a scary fairy tale that might have escaped everyone's radar, Gretel and Hansel: a beautifully crafted, meticulously composed film that drenches itself in a disquieting, surreal atmosphere subtly empowered by an alienating soundtrack. It's gripping, to say the least.

The Ritual (2017), dir. David Bruckner

Reviewing and discussing Horror cinema is hard as the truly notable films are best experienced without the burden of knowledge: the viewer should be blindsided by the unknowable terror as much as the characters. That is to say, I can't openly talk about why The Ritual (2017) is great. You should watch it for yourself and get absolutely smack-jawed by the experience.

Society: The Horror (1989), dir. Brian Yuzna

This is unpleasant on an existential level and that, in turn, makes it a really effective Horror. It builds itself as a Kafkian nightmare about the dread of Conformism, feeling out of place in a Society ruled by the white and wealthy, a classic Suburban nightmare scenario. It morphs into an indictment of Capitalism and Classism when the grotesque and revolting third act slimes its way into balls-to-the-wall satire. Bill Warlock (Eddie from Baywatch) puts on the performance of a lifetime as the justifiably paranoid teen protagonist. Shout out to the credited "surreal make-up artist", a man named Screaming Mad George. He did too much of a good job, let me tell you. Needless to say, I recommend this perturbing visual madness with all the content warnings imaginable.

Society waits for you.

Overlord (2018), dir. Julius Avery

I watched Overlord and you should too! It begins as a slickly directed World War II drama before it organically develops into a spectacularly gruesome, intense Action Horror punctuated by a Chef's Kiss of a climax. It gets a special recommendation for the cathartic abuse of nazies! This is the Wolfenstein adaptation you have always wanted.

Willy's Wonderland (2021), dir. Kevin Lewis

Since you can never have enough of Nicolas Cage, here's Willy's Wonderland: a self-aware, genre-flipping, D-grade schlock with the presence of our favourite actor silently and menacingly staring at things - which he does, in spades. The fact that he kills off a bunch of Not-FNAF animatronics is just the icing on the cake! Let me be clear: he does not speak a single word throughout the flick. He's effectively playing "Silent Videogame Protagonist" and his sheer magnetism carries this diegesis to the finish line. A lesser actor would have not been able to pull this off. In all seriousness, Willy's Wonderland works squarely because The Cage was onboard with it. The direction is otherwise unremarkable, the production is even cheaper that one might expect and the rest of the cast is mere fodder. The Cage was its only ace and it played the right hand! That's a whole lot more entertainment value than a film seemingly designed to anger Freddy Fazbear's gooners would realistically deserve. You should watch it if you really want to see Nicolas Cage make sweet love to a pinball machine. Apropos of nothing, did you know that pretentious hack/real life human piss stain Scott Cawthon is a top Republican donor and a pro-lifer? I thought that would be cool information to remember.

The Endless (2017), dir. Justin Benson e Aaron Moorhead

Here's another cosmically disconcerting recommendation for the Lovecraft crowd in the back: if you're looking for a uniquely scary film that deals with the Fear of the Unknown, drowns itself in breath-taking atmosphere and exquisite Uncertainty, I recommend you to watch The Endless. It might knock your existential socks off!

Calamity of a Zombie Girl (2018), dir. Hideaki Iwami

I have kept the "best" for last! Calamity of a Zombie Girl is the weirdest Slasher I have ever seen, mostly due to its inability to keep track of its own genre. It's a B-movie with guts, blood and nudity, a supernatural lesbian romance, a martial arts film and a screwy, goofy comedy all rolled into one cheap-looking animated feature.

The editing is atrocious, constantly abusing the fade-to-black transition without rhyme or reason, the dialogues are inane and contrived, the animation is abysmal (it's a low-budget production by Gonzo, you see) and tonal consistency is downright mythical. In spite of all that, or because of it, the aforementioned bizarre nature of its premise and execution makes it incredibly fun (and funny) to behold, especially when genres collide with each other in relentless, brutal fashion. From the victims' point-of-view (the especially idiotic and ultimately useless extras, I should say) this film plays out like a traditional Slasher flick but from the perspective of the killer, the re-animated zombie girl herself, this is her own action packed Ecchi comedy.

Her first kill occurs as a goof on her part: she shoves a man off like a "dainty dame" and accidentally cracks his skull wide open on a column. Soon after, she rips a guy's arm because he was getting "too friendly" with her and scolds him for his inappropriate behaviour. She then proceeds to have a fight scene with one of the expendable extras because her opponent just happened to be a self-taught Kung Fu master. Also, her undead maid (because of course there's an undead maid) gets kidnapped and she must rescue her! This string of barely held-together nonsense leads to a spectacularly convoluted third act that somehow involves an old abandoned church, a school gym, a game of Anime Sports Ball and a literal Saved by the Bell moment. Did I mention this is all supposed to take place in a non-specific university campus in Japan? Because otherwise you might think the film is happening in two completely different continents! Aside from the immensely idiotic fading transitions, Calamity of a Zombie Girl is hilarious and enjoyable. It's pure, untainted, excellently awful schlock carried to the finish line by the sheer strength of its befuddling ideas. Watch it and tell your friends about it!

Merry Spookmas, you little freaks! --- Follow Madhog on:

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Also, here’s a helpful website: https://arab.org/

[madhogthymaster]

Be Confidently Wrong! | Icipall's Selection 3: Hell Taken!!!

Icipall's selection: third impact!

[madhogthymaster]

I Must Protect That Smile

"I shall start by mildly praising this game for dispensing with empty preambles: you will most likely already know what it's going to be about and it doesn't try to insult your intelligence by pretending to be something else."

Read it here.

[madhogthymaster]

I found some of my old drawings. There was a time when I was passionate about putting the gnarly underworld of my mind to paper but, as years passed, I lost it all. I struggle to be passionate about anything, these days. I'm overcome by a deep sadness whenever I realize it.

I will not care (too much) if you like them or not. I am an amateur, after all. It's just that, for reasons I cannot even begin to coherently formulate, I had the visceral desire to post these artworks. I have a lot more in my archive but these where the least "cringeworthy", in my estimation.

[madhogthymaster]

Master Recs: Webcomics (Vol. 3)

It is time, once again, for my top tier, top notch, other kinds of top, catalogue of highly curated webcomic recommendations! I can see you are already frothing at the mouth with feral hunger. As such, I shall cut my preamble short and lead you to today's five course meal which is located inside this entirely unsuspicious cage, right here. Yes, that's right, get inside... Okay! Now that I am safe from harm, let us begin.

The Little Trashmaid by s0s2

What started off as a parody of Disney's The Little Mermaid eventually grew to become its own funny and cute series with an ever expanding cast of characters. It vaunts a dire environmental message all throughout its run, oftentimes implemented as the setup and punchline to a joke or, otherwise, constantly present as the backdrop that informs the setting. If I had a major criticism to levy against The Little Trashmaid, it would be that its mostly lighthearted approach to humour can undermine the urgency of said environmental conscience. Nevertheless, the message about ocean pollution remains inescapably front and centre, no matter how "adorable" the comic gets, and its expressive art style drives the point home without the need for dialogue bubbles. Under the sea, garbage there be.

Merrivius' Comics

I am convinced that Merrivius is a comic genius, a superb talent in the art of the 4-panel gag formula (and beyond) that merrily gobsmacks the audience with the force of a blunt-induced trauma. Whether it's a darkly humorous, Absurdist deconstruction of well-known comic/manga tropes or a surprisingly wholesome character dynamic that uses the aforementioned trope-obliteration as its own foundational ground, their works are a guaranteed lark. On that note, I find extremely goofy facial expressions realized in a style that purposefully conflicts with the established aesthetic to be the apex of comedy - and I do not know what does that say about me. It is simply impossible to recommend one of their ongoing series over the other. As such, you should gorge yourself on this entire buffet table, with abandon and greed. Modest sampling be damned, read these comics!

Laika's Comet by Willow Woods

A soft, inviting trait and a colour palette right out of one's dreams of childhood welcome you to Laika's Comet, written and illustrated by "real life critter" Willow Woods. Alas, this invitation might beguile you with a certain dose of unresolved trauma when the dreams do, inevitably, turn into nightmares and refuse to simply vanish into the night... This is a tale of Family, found or otherwise, Identity and Self-Discovery. It's about the lies the nightmares will tell you and how receiving (accepting) the support from those who love you unconditionally can help you through it all. Furthermore, the characters are very cute.

Cassiopeia Quinn by Gunwild and Psudonym

Cassiopeia Quinn is Everything: beautiful, stylish, sexy, kind. A beacon of hope in people's life, a true philantropist, a staunch ally to marginalized communities, the most wanted outlaw in the galaxy and the bane of every authority figure in the known universe. Also, her boyfriend is a cowboy robot, which I think is neat! The comic draws a lot of its aesthetic sensibilities from pulpy, dirty, sensual Sci-Fi comics, novels and cinematic flicks from the 1960's but it's all juxtaposed to a surprising wholeheartedness that works in tandem with the premised sensuality. It is less of a genre subversion and more of a bold declaration of intent in the very way the protagonist is presented. She is, in fact, everything I just described her to be, a complete heroine that's promiscuous in her appearance and wholesome in her personality. A generous soul who helps her community, Robin Hood style, and looks good while doing it. Her adventures are tales of daring heists and many, many flirtatious tête-à-tête with her arch-nemesis/frenemy/future girlfriend(?) who's trying to catch her. In short, picture Barbarella rolled up with Lupìn III but 20% more bisexual and with an emotionally earnest message about empathy that is never not sorely needed in our lives. Laughs, love and many kinds of funny creatures await you in what I consider to be one of most entertaining entries in modern science fiction.

CALAMARI KEBAB by Carles Dalmau

A short story about the competitive grind of the food delivery industry starring a vampire and a werewolf, two rivals on a race to determine who's the best at being overworked to the point of burnout by an exploitative, cutthroat system getting the order to the appointed address on time! It's a neat concept with a funny, appropriately violent execution, supported by the beautiful artistry of Carles Dalmau, whom also happens to be an official artist for Cult of the Lamb.

I shall freely admit I used the framework of this column as an excuse to bring a shiny spotlight atop an artist I like. On that note, here are a few more samples from their prolific body of work.

Dalmau's illustrations are a feast for the eyes: immaculate compositions with rich and savvily laid details, images bathed in ethereal colour hues acting as metaphorical windows to both cozy and chaotic worlds. Even the more subtle, grounded pictures are lavishly painted and I, for one, am enraptured by the talent on display. I am going to include here a snippet from the Cult of the Lamb: Pilgrim digital comic, because I can. You are welcome.

Alas, we must now depart. Live deliciously, kids.

---

[VOLUME 1] [VOLUME 2]

Follow Madhog on:

YouTube

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Bluesky

Blogger

Also, here’s a helpful website: https://arab.org/

[madhogthymaster]

The Most Upsetting Comic Book Panel

I call Shenanigans on that claim!

[madhogthymaster]

Be Confidently Wrong! | Best Videogame Music Tournament RETURNS!!!

32 new tracks and a million more opinions! --- Buy eSims for Gaza: https://gazaesims.com/ Find out how you can help Palestine: https://arab.org/

[madhogthymaster]

Brain Bubble: Kevin The Meat Puppet

I have had the best idea for a TV show and it's an adaptation of Viscera Cleanup Detail. The game already works as a brilliant Absurdist comedy whereas the mundanity of janitorial work meets the macabre nature of the grisliest, most over-the-top murder scenes. This is, as the title suggests, about cleaning viscera. Furthermore, it is also a comedy of errors as I've seen players fall into all sorts of workplace mishaps: from janky buckets that can't properly hold severed body parts, to leaving bloody footprints in places they had just cleaned, and everything in between.

All of that could be smoothly transliterated into a properly structured sitcom. One episode could be a Laurel and Hardy style sketch where our cleaning guys have to carry corpses up a staircase because the furnace is at the top floor and the elevator is out of service. In another episode, the guys can't retrieve a human head that's stuck on a ceiling fan and high jinks ensue. Maybe one of the boys decides to construct a puppet made of guts and starts a ventriloquist act. The meat golem should be named Kevin and become a recurring "character." There will be a recurring gag in which Kevin makes a sudden, unexpected appearance in various spots, giving the other janitors a fright. Oh, and how about an episode where the floor is so slippery with blood they turn it into a figure skating ring?

The funniest part about the show would be the comically gruesome settings themselves. In most cases, whatever might have happened to cause such massive amounts of death should be left to the viewer's interpretation... On that note, the original game already has a Christmas themed map. The comedy practically writes itself.

Of course, you've got to have guest stars in your weekly series, which would also inform the setup. Maybe Bryan Cranston is a corpse that gets the Weekend at Bernie's treatment or Charlie Day joins the workforce, and he has a pet raccoon... The raccoon kidnaps Kevin!

I would absolutely demand a crossover episode with What We Do in the Shadows where its entire cast shows up as the characters they play on screen and the crew has to clean up after one of their messes. Tell me you wouldn't want to see that! I'm going to stop giving away these genius ideas for free. If you want to know what happens to Kevin, you're going to have to pay me. Hit me up, Michael Schur!

[madhogthymaster]

It's Time to Yo-Yo-Yo-Kai Watch!!!

"Allow me to preface all the opinions by briefly addressing my relationship with Level-5, the studio responsible for this game and the subsequent franchise."

Read it here.