chasing-ukiyo

[chasing-ukiyo]

[chasing-ukiyo]

I ask God to remove all bitterness and envy from within me. I ask God to allow my happiness for people to be pure and genuine. I ask God to cleanse me from all feelings that are in even the slightest tainted with pride and jealousy because it is these feelings that make the heart rotten and a rotten heart is too heavy for me to carry. Dear God, purify me.

[chasing-ukiyo]

[chasing-ukiyo]

as i get older,

 i kind of just take a step back and look at what has become of this world and its people. i also take a look at myself and realize how much i've changed since a decade ago.

i've still got ways to go but i know the importance of self-development as a muslim and how Allah always wants us to be better and strive for better. i actually think i've been an introvert all my life bc when i think about it, looking back at all the situations i was in, i always preferred smaller group things rather than large groups and i would always feel more at peace when i was alone or with just one or two people.

well, since i became muslim, things haven't changed in that regard. i love being in small groups preferably one to two people MAX. but it doesnt really work that way here, lol.

it's all about big groups and gatherings. the more the merrier. i can't really deal with that and it's so overwhelming, to say the least. i often wonder how anyone from here can ever have alone time to reflect upon themselves. like the word introspects doesn't exist here even though in Islam, the prophet pbuh did a lot of self-reflection and encouraged Muslims do the same...

well, all i can say is Alhamdulillah Allah has allowed me to be an introvert who values quiet time and being alone. people don't make lots of noise but that they ARE noise. noise in every way possible. honestly, the people of the cave were really blessed to live far far far away from the people for that long period of time..

while socializing is natural for a human's wellbeing, i think too much of it definitely brings more harm than good. especially now that the world is only full of quantity and no quality humans.

i mean, it's nice, though. to sometimes experience the culture of the place you are visiting or living in. it opens your eyes to many things and also makes you grateful for a LOT of things.. especially makes you grateful for the things you are given from Allah ... sometimes we take things for granted and until we are in another country or it's taken away from us, we then realize the true value of something...how cliche..but such is the human being... hasty, ungrateful and feeling entitled.

i need some tea.

[chasing-ukiyo]

Sabr.

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا غُنْدَرٌ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَنَسًا ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏

‏ الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الأُولَى ‏"

‏‏‏

Narrated Anas:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 1302 In-book : Book 23, Hadith 61 USC-MSA web (English) : Vol. 2, Book 23, Hadith 389  (deprecated) Sahih Bukhari

[chasing-ukiyo]

Al-Baqarah 2:17

مَثَلُهُمْ كَمَثَلِ ٱلَّذِى ٱسْتَوْقَدَ نَارًا فَلَمَّآ أَضَآءَتْ مَا حَوْلَهُۥ ذَهَبَ ٱللَّهُ بِنُورِهِمْ وَتَرَكَهُمْ فِى ظُلُمَٰتٍ لَّا يُبْصِرُونَ

Their example is that of one who kindled a fire, but when it illuminated what was around him, Allah took away their light and left them in darkness [so] they could not see.

[chasing-ukiyo]

Waves of eman.

[chasing-ukiyo]

[chasing-ukiyo]

one main star of my show..

 has always been the infamous, expectations.

since moving here, i think i had low expectations. i knew what to expect.

i expected very little and at the same time i really didn't know what to expect.

i think one thing i didn't expect was how isolating it is to be living here as a foreigner and as a convert. i never really expected that i wouldn't be able to meet practicing sisters who were like-minded and 'normal'. I haven't been able to find 'normal' people since i came here.

i didn't know a land such as here wouldn't be particularly accommodating to people like me.

it's kinda weird.

we always expect a place to be a certain way because of how x,y,z has painted that picture for us.

well, let me paint a clear picture for you all.

i'm in a country where many think that it's some complete fairytale land. some of you think it's in the middle east, some of you think it's in the lands of the islands and humidity. some think it's east asia...well wherever you think i am, you are either correct or wrong. but i guess you'll never know because I don't think it matters. because we are talking about expectations right now.

i feel like i've taken 10 steps or more back in time. i didn't know that water could run out. i didn't know there would be so much racism and prejudice! i didn't know that it was so hard to find practicing people in a Muslim country. people aren't really friendly. things seem really backwards and i'm not used to the lack of diversity. the expats are also really weird, to me anyway. expats have a sense of entitlement, im not sure if it's because they are usually all white? well, everybody here has a sense of entitlement, how absurd, lol.

to be fair, i didn't expect much from muslim countries and its people bc at the end of the day, people are people and we are all human beings. nothing really surprises me anymore. anywhere you live there will always be strange cultural practices and culture shock. it's just weird, though, to see people who think backwards want to live like amerikenz and act like them...!

so funny. well, i think the moral of the story here is, don't go through life having these high expectations from people or places. they will always let you down because expectations are generally something that is not considered to be realistic. when we expect things, we put something in high regard or low regard that's why when the opposite happens we are shocked or surprised...it's best to remain neutral, though hard. i often have high expectations from people and think they will act or do certain things, and when they don't, i get disappointed. i've learned to just stop expecting things from people and places.

people disappoint, places disappoint. just gotta have all these expectations and enjoy what comes, the good and the bad. everything is a learning experience/process anyway...

anyway, i want a turtleneck. i need some hoodies.

it's so cold. i think i'll make some butternut squash soup.

i love cold weather and woolly socks.

snow is so beautiful.

[chasing-ukiyo]

Sunshine .

[chasing-ukiyo]

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said,

“The believer is a mirror to his faithful brother. He protects him against loss and defends him behind his back.”

Abu Huraira said, “The believer is a mirror to his brother. If he sees something wrong in him, he should correct it.”

Source: al-Adab al-Mufrad 239

Grade: Hasan (fair) according to Al-Albani

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏ الْمُؤْمِنُ مَرْآةُ أَخِيهِ وَالْمُؤْمِنُ أَخُو الْمُؤْمِنِ يَكُفُّ عَلَيْهِ ضَيْعَتَهُ وَيَحُوطُهُ مِنْ وَرَائِهِ

وقال أبو هريرة الْمُؤْمِنُ مَرْآةُ أَخِيهِ إِذَا رَأَى فِيهَا عَيْبًا أَصْلَحَهُ

239 الأدب المفرد للبخاري باب المسلم مرآة أخيه

178 المحدث الألباني خلاصة حكم المحدث حسن في صحيح الأدب المفرد

[chasing-ukiyo]

Sure,why not.

[chasing-ukiyo]

Allah is the Greatest. All praise is for Allah alone. Glory be to Allah.

[chasing-ukiyo]

[chasing-ukiyo]

Truth.

What's the worst thing that could happen to you?

turning into the people who I hate.

[chasing-ukiyo]

Cravings.

[chasing-ukiyo]

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, narrated from his Lord Almighty that He said,

 “By my might, I will assemble my servant either in fear or security. If he feared me in the world, I will make him safe on the Day of Resurrection. If he felt secure from me in the world, I will make him fearful on the Day of Resurrection.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 646

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani