your-so-vain

[your-so-vain]

F all of u for not telling me Paul dano is in a band, and he actually sounds really good

[your-so-vain]

💋🔪his pretty woman🔪💋

Warnings: cursing, prostitution, implied violence, female reader, y/n reader, the name Evelyn is a place holder cause Patrick isn’t over her 🙄, Patrick being high key insane, pet names, eventual smut

Word count: 1,587

Authors note: I was gonna write more for chapter one to the point I had to stop so after this I’m gonna try to finish my other unfinished stuff but between that I’ll do one shots, so if any of you have ideas of the one shots please let me know I’d love to do them👍👍

The night was dark and cold, as it had always been on nights like these.

The pale moonlight shone on your face, making you squint just a bit, you leaned against a familiar light post you had seen nearly every night; considering you had worked on the same corner for a month now

Your best friend, Kip. Had seemed like a mentor to you during this line of business.

She told you what kind of men you should trust and who to avoid, in her words “if their too nice, like shaking your hand and smiling, get the hell away from him unless you wanna be minced meat!”

You had to admit, she was right. You had heard of many girls in your predicament who walked these streets for money who had either sustained injuries or died.

---

As a prostitute money was hard to come by. A guy could snap his fingers and you’d have to start crawling to him just to keep a roof over your head.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair “kip, how much longer do we have to be out tonight, my blisters are getting blisters!”

Kip turned to you with an almost comical expression on her face “just a few more hours doll!” Her hand grabs your chin in a joking manner.

“Ugh” you groan “fine but once that clock hits three we’re leaving” “I’m fine with that…. How much you made tonight y/n?” You check your bra for the money you had made too night “uhh about a hundred.” “Pfft I’ve made two hundred” you rolled your eye’s at her.

---

As the clock struck two thirty seven, a dark and expensive looking car slowly pulls up, the car’s brand seemed to be roll’s Royce. You and kip exchanged an expression that said holy shit!

You both make your best struts over to the car, you both lean down infront of the drivers side window, only for a whistle noise to come from the seat behind it?

The window was rolled down, a very attractive man looked back at you and Kip, with a slight smile creeping onto his lip’s; so again both you and kip make your ways over to the man.

Before either of you could make it to him, he clicked his tongue “ah ah, not you” he pointed his finger at kip before she looks at you with a grin

“Ooh it’s your time to shine girl!” Kip whispered to you before patting your back and going back to the street corner you both were on.

You leaned down to see this mysterious man, instead of being face to face with him you were boobs to face with him. It was a trick kip had taught you. Apparently it gets the man’s attention.

“Whatcha needing baby.?” You said with a tone of seduction in your voice “what are you giving?” The man had a fancy tone to his voice, a real stuck up prick kind of voice.

“Anything your wanting, I’m willing”

“Hm” the man chuckled slightly before pulling out his wallet, he subtly flashed how much money he had.

---

“What’s your name, beautiful?”

“What do you want it to be?”

“…Evelyn”

“Pretty name baby, you’ve got good taste.”

That comment certainly went towards his ego, making it bigger than it already was. Without a second to lose, he opened the door for you to come into the vehicle.

As soon as you did you noticed how wonderful it smelled inside, a drastic change from the smell of the dirty streets you had walked all night long.

As you sat down the man draped an arm across your waist. You turned your head to face him, he had his head turned straight looking at you from the side slightly.

“Sooo handsome, what’s your name?”

“Paul al-“ he caught himself before coughing to try and cover what he had said “it’s Patrick, Patrick bateman”.

“Patrick huh? I like that name y’know that’s my favorite name in the whole wide world!” You gave a cheerful, almost childlike grin

That brought a genuine laugh out of him, and as it did your smile grew intensely

---

“So Evelyn, how much for the entire night”.

You thought slightly for a second before answering him with a smug expression “it’s a hundred per hour, so that’s what eight hundred?”

Patrick perched up an eye brow.

“Really? We can’t do seven hundred?” “It’s deal or no deal baby.” You said, smugly.

Patrick lets out a “hmph” before coming to an agreement “fine, but I’ll pay you after your ‘services’ how does that sound?”.

“That’s fine with me, Mr Bateman” you calling him Mr Bateman made him hard, sure many other people in his life had called him that, but the way you said it, was completely different. You said it with love, sure he knew it was fake as play money but it still hit a nerve with him.

---

Patrick obviously hadn’t brought you back to his apartment, that didn’t go too well last time he brought some prostitutes back to his apartment.

The driver of his car had pulled you both at an expensive looking hotel. As you opened the door to get out, Patrick grabbed your hand, you turned your head towards him with a confused expression on your face.

“When we get in here, act normal none of your regular whore shit you’d do with other men, do you hear me?!”

“Of course, patrick”

He ran a hand through his slicked back hair to calm himself down.

---

As you walked inside the hotel, Patrick’s hand was practically glued onto your hip with how he didn’t loosen his grip once, and his eyes seemed to be glued onto you as well.

He was more focused on what you were wearing and what people would think.

You couldn’t blame him, what you had on wasn’t modest to say the least.

Patrick and you walked up to the front desk, as he handled getting you both a room, you noticed a few eyes on you.

So you threw your hands up in a gesture that says ‘WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!’ as much as you’d wanted to say that, you held back.

You wouldn’t want to upset the man who was paying you eight hundred dollars, just to sleep with him.

---

As you put your hand’s on your hips, biting the left corner of your bottom lip slightly, before Patrick took your hand, gently.

“I’ve got our room, Evelyn”

As you two walked further away from the desk, Patrick bent down to your ear,whispering something to you

“They wouldn’t let me have the pent house for the night” he groans “so I had to rent it for the whole damn week”

You thought to your self “the pent house, how much does that cost?!” But you hadn’t said anything

“And this affects me how?” You said in a mixture of a condescending and joking tone

“… I was thinking you could stay with me for that time, so the money wouldn’t go to waste”

“Well, if you really want me to stay; we’ll have to renegotiate our price”

Patrick chuckles at you slightly. His eyes roaming over your figure.

““Fine with me, gorgeous”

---

As you approached the elevator, you got a colorful look on your face. Stifling off a grin.

You saw an elderly couple and a seemingly young elevator operator standing next you, the both of them had their eyes locked into you.

You knew why, with your job it’s normal for people to stare.

Patrick snarls at everyone looking at you but you were about to make their staring a whole lot worse

---

You kicked you leg up onto a nearby wall, making your thigh very exposed to the very confused on lookers, and Patrick

“Aw there a rip in my pantyhose!” You laughed, snorting slightly as you did “I’m not wearing pantyhose!”

Patrick gripped your leg and pulled it down and looked at you with an expression so angry it can’t be put into words.

Soon the elevator came and you decided to cause more trouble.

After the elevator doors opened you noticed a very small but very fancy and elegant looking seat in the back, you immediately sat on it

“Well color me happy there’s a sofa in here to share!” Patrick slyly slid the elevator operator a twenty, while saying “it’s her first time in an elevator” as he pats his shoulder, getting into the elevator with you.

---

Patrick waited for the door’s to close, his back turned towards you before it inevitably closed

“What the fuck was that back there?!”

Patrick said his voice a few decimals below shouting

“I’m sorry! I had too alright.”

The rage was fuming off of him as he panted angrily, his chest rising and falling with each breath.

“Just don’t let it happen again, or else.” He said with his voice being stern and rage filled, his hands clutched into fists by his side.

---

Patrick soon walked you into the room, and it was impeccable.

The lights shined off everything perfectly, making it seem as you had walked into a millionaires wet dream of a hotel.

All that seemed to be missing was a bottle of champagne.

Patrick waited for you to take your first few steps into the room, before he looked at you with curiosity

“What’s your real name?”

His eyes squinted slightly

You turned to him, smiling slightly before giving him an answer “y/n”

“Hm…. Well y/n get comfortable”

Patrick begins unbuttoning his suit as he looks at you with a hungry grin

- - -

Y/n when Patrick wanted her and not Kip

[your-so-vain]

these childish ass hcs bro lmaaaoooo does this fandom even watch their own show?? only the stormfront one was funny

Bro I just thought they were funny which is why I said head cannons / FUNNY stuff

[your-so-vain]

THE 2022 RIDDLER IS THE SAME AGE AS MY MOM😨😨😨

[your-so-vain]

Random head cannons/ funny stuff of the seven

Homelander: when he made his first appearance as homelander in his like late teens or early twenties vought made him apart of a boy band but it failed really bad so vought swept it under the rug and erased it so bad even homelander doesn’t remember it. When homelander was a kid he’d throw the little bit of furniture he had in his lab room as an act of defiance and the doctors would walk in afterwards to see him curled up in the corner and they’d say “you done?” And he’d say “…yeah” in an embarrassed tone

The deep: he’s the type of dude to set his alarm at 11:11 am and pm just to wake up and make a wish, when he was a kid and his parents would take him to sea world he’d go into the bathrooms and cry because all the dolphins were depressed and they’d tell him they wanted to die

Starlight: as a kid when her school would have a school book fair if she saw a kid that didn’t have enough money to buy anything she’d buy it for them. I feel like starlight was one of those girls that had a room filled with Justin Bieber merch when she was a tween

A-train: when a-train was in elementary school he would race other kids to impress girls and he’d say he was “super fast because i have magic shoes”. A train is the type of dude to let his nieces do makeup on him and not wash it off the whole day

Queen Maeve: Maeve more then likely has Irish heritage and vought had found that out and made her name “queen maeve” and they thought it meant she who rules" and they’d be right but it also means “intoxicate” so they really named her “queen intoxicated”. She had arm wrestles with all of the boys in high school and broke their ego when she’d win

Sister sage: Back when she was in school she was years above the classes she was supposed to be in such as she should’ve been in fifth grade but was in high school because of how smart she was. She was bullied but it didn’t phase her because she knew the same bullies would be asking her to help with homework or studying

Black noir: noir was a great artist in school he always won awards for his art but he parents thought it was “girly” and threw out all his markers/crayons and he gradually lost his artistic skills. He has a little sister and would always fight with her but whenever it got physical he’d always let her win making her think she’s really strong

Firecracker: after she started taking those drugs for homelander she would get really sad and maternal over Jesus she cried once thinking about baby Jesus and Mary. Firecracker acts like she’s a great cook but she isn’t allowed into a kitchen because she would burn water

Storm front: is a nazi (this isn’t a head canon this is canon!)

[your-so-vain]

💌licked envelopes💌

Word count: 1,496

Warnings: smut, phone sex’s, edging, biting, slapping, hair pulling, female reader, y/n reader, p in v sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), slight non con (idk if the scene I’m thinking about is but I’m saying it anyway) cursing, fingering, jerking off, dom homelander, daddy kink, age difference

💌licked envelopes part one💌 💌licked envelopes part two💌

Authors note: I wrote most of this while watching girl interrupted so if u feel a mood switch/ change in writing don’t mind it lmao

You had went home to your, still shared apartment with Schuyler, not telling her anything about what happened at work.

Although she kept trying to knock chat out of you

“Soo, did homelander like.. do anything to you?”

Your heart stopped “huh?” You turned around to face her, a shocked expression on your face “n-no, he walked by me but didn’t say anything. I don’t even work on his floor.”

---

You quickly went into your room, closing the door behind you.

A sigh escaping your tired body, you knew you would have to wake up at nine o’clock and do this all over again.

You fall face first onto your bed, you lift you head up and see a huge pile of dirty laundry that you had yet to wash, another sigh left your mouth.

Ding! … Ding!

Your phone beeped

You sluggishly brought your head off your pillow, your hand reaching for your phone then, your stomach dropped.

You had a bad feeling but you brushed it off as your Nerves playing tricks on you, so you picked up your phone and saw a no caller id

A suspicious look over came your face. Your thumb pressed the green button to answer.

---

“Hello?” You said, your voice sheepish with a hint of curiosity.

You were met with the sound of heavy breathing and what sounded like, moaning? No that couldn’t be right

“Um who is this?” “Yeah y/n, keep talking for your big strong homelander.”

Oh God! You nearly gagged at the thought, he called you just to jerk off to your voice?!

Your chest rose and fell as your breathing got heavier, and a certain feeling appeared between your leg’s

“Goddd.” He moaned out between clenched teeth

“say you love me baby, say it.”

You bit your lip slightly, holding back a soft moan.

“I-I… love you.”

---

You spread your legs as your set your phone in between your knees, your hand trailed it’s way down the waist band of your panties.

The sound of homelanders moans getting you more wet then any ordinary man could.

You inserted your middle finger into your warm cunt, a soft whimper escaping your mouth.

Homelanders ears picked it up immediately, considering his super hearing.

It made him even more hard then he already was “that’s right y/n, think of me while you fuck your self. Because I own you, do you hear me?”

“m-mhm” you breath out

“Ah-ah, use your words like a good girl. Or else I’ll have to come down there and punish you my self.”

“and you wouldn’t want that, would you?”

“no d-daddy”

---

“Put another finger in, I wanna hear it.”

Without another word you stuck your ring finger in, next to your middle finger.

A moan escaping your mouth “mmh~! h-homelander i want you so bad.”

“…do you mean that?” He said between panted breaths

“yeah” you curled your fingers around that sweet spot that made you moan like a mad woman

“Stay just how you are, don’t move a fucking inch. Nothing except for me can pleasure you and that includes your fingers. Do you hear me?”

You nod your head although he can’t see you “mhm, I-i hear you.”

---

You wanted to rock your hips against your fingers, but you were scared that homelander would know you did and get mad that you disobeyed him.

Soon you heard a knock at your window.

You turned your head to see homelander, with a lustful expression on his face.

Immediately you hopped of your bed and ran to the window, you opened it to be greeted by a rough and forceful kiss.

“God, your mouth feels so fucking good.”

He goes inside your apartment, quickly pinning you down onto your bed. Biting onto the thin flesh on your neck.

Homelander tugged at the thick material of his pants, pulling his boxers down with them.

---

Your eyes were drawn to his thick vainy cock, your mouth watering at the thought of it inside you.

“Like what you see?” Homelanders hand moves to the bottom of his shaft and he starts stroking it slowly

“Mhm, I do. I really like what I see.”

He deep chuckle escaped his throat.

“Open your legs for me, baby.”

Without a second of hesitation, your legs opened wide for him as his breathing began to heavy, as he imagined all he’d do to you tonight.

---

homelander ran his tongue against your inner thigh, a shiver ran down your spine as he did so.

He soon found his mouth on your pussy, his tongue swirling around your clit. Each movement he made had your back arching in pleasure.

Loud moans escaping your mouth, your hands found themselves in homelanders golden locks as you tugged on them lightly.

Homelander rocked his hips against the mattress, desperately trying to gain any type friction

“O-Oh God! I’m gonna cum!” You threw your head back in pleasure, as homelander ate you out like he was a starving man in desperate need for a filling meal, to substantiate his hunger for a while longer

---

You felt the coil in your stomach tighten, and it was about to snap!

Homelander took his middle finger and rubbed it across your clit, trying his best to speed up your climax.

As he did so, you rubbed your cunt against his mouth, you were close to your release then he pulled away.

You groaned at the loss of pleasure, but soon you felt the tip of his cock pressed against your entrance

“h-homelander I don’t think I’m ready.”

“And why the fuck would you think that?”

His hand tugged at your hair, pulling your head back slightly to look him in the eyes.

“If I’m ready, then we’re ready. Do you understand?!” he growled out in a dominant tone

You nodded your head quickly.

“Of course, baby. Whatever you say.”

---

In one swift motion homelander stuck his manhood inside of you.

He moaned your name out as he started thrusting into you at a slow smooth pace

“Mmh~! S-so big.” “Yeah, take it all. You’re such a slut for my cock, aren’t you?”

His hands find there place on your throat, choking you and fucking you senseless.

Soon his thrusts become fast, rough and animalistic. Too much to handle

“H-homelander, I’m gonna cu-“ he cut you off with a rough dominant kiss, his tongue firmly pressing past your lips without an invitation.

Your tongue intertwined with his as your release came closer.

---

You brought your hand down to your clit, and you began to rub it. Homelander slapped your hand away and looked at you with a scowl.

Homelander pulled away from the kiss. He soon slapped you in the face, as he clicked his tongue

“Bad girl, I told you nothing else besides me can satisfy you, i thought you understood that.”

He brings his own hand down to your clit and begins rubbing it hard and aggressively as he rams his cock in and out of you at super human speed.

Homelander leans down, taking your nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue on it, taking in the flavor and sucking on it. Trying to leech off any semblance of flavor from your breast

---

You reached your climax with a loud moan, so loud that it woke Schuyler up. She immediately came running to your room to the find the door locked?

That was weird you never lock you door, before she could knock another moan escaped your lips.

“Oh okay girl, I did not know you were flicking the bean, #women for gooning” she chuckled before turning around and going to her room.

Homelander turned his head towards you. “Now where were we?”

---

As you were riding out your orgasm, homelander leaned down and bit your bottom lip till it bled

His release followed soon after as he heard your gasp of surprise and pain.

“Take it baby, take all of my cum. I know you love it don’t you? My little cum slut.”

His eyes glowed a soft red color as he finished inside of you

---

After homelander made sure he emptied out every one of is sperm in you he pulled out his now soft cock.

He looked down at you with loving eyes, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear before leaning down and giving you a soft kiss on your cheek.

---

As homelander finished getting dressed he turned back to face you

“Tell no one about this, do you understand.”

You had your knees pressed to your chest as you looked at him with big doe eyes that yearned for him not to leave.

“I understand, as long as we can keep doing… this?”

He smirked “of course, y/n”

---

And with that he was out your window, flying back to vought tower you assumed.

You licked your lips before getting up and closing your bedroom window.

You didn’t lock it incase he decided to come back

[your-so-vain]

My aunt saw Superman the other day (without me btw and also spoiled it for me wtf) and she said how bad the movie was, then she took of her mask and revealed to me she was always a ragebaiter computer monkey

[your-so-vain]

I made an inside job oc but she kinda cringe 😔😔

She’s like head of music manipulation n stuff like that

[your-so-vain]

I HATE LACRYBOY THEY RUINED HOW PEOPLE PERCEIVE RIDDLERBAT AND EDWARD NASHTON2022 IN GENERAL RAHHHHHH

The art style is cute and cool don’t get me wrong but I hate how they changed how people see the 2022 riddler and the riddlerbat ship 😔😔

[your-so-vain]

💌licked envelopes 💌

Word count: 2,262

Warnings: age gap, female reader, sexual tension, slight smut, homelander being a freak, y/n reader, slight swearing, sexual themes, mentions of sexual acts, teasing

💌licked envelopes part one💌 💌licked envelopes part three💌

Graduation came and went like a blur. You didn’t even remember walking across the stage. All you could think about was your internship at vought

Vought. The Tower. The shining beacon in the city skyline that made your heart skip every time you passed it.

When you got the email saying you’d been selected as a summer intern at Vought International, you screamed so loud Schuyler almost called 911.

“Maybe that Polaroid got you the job.” Schuyler joked.

---

You brushed it off. Sure, it’d been awhile since your “obsessive” phase. Sure, you might still keep that photo of him in your wallet for nostalgia. But you were a professional now.

A grown woman. Interning at a billion dollar corporation.

You definitely weren’t going to fangirl.

You definitely weren’t going to embarrass yourself.

You definitely weren’t going to let him know what you’d done that night.

---

Day One.

Your heels clicked nervously across the marble floors of Vought Tower, the sound echoing like gunshots in your ears. You’d barely made it through orientation when your assigned supervisor took a call and waved you off.

“Take these files up to Homelander’s room. He’s expecting them.”

Homelander.

Like a slap to the face.

Your hand trembled as you tapped the elevator button. You tried to keep your breathing steady, telling yourself you were fine. You were normal. Totally normal.

The doors opened and there he was.

Homelander.

---

Tall. Golden. Smirking like he already knew something.

“Ah… so you’re the new intern.” His voice dripped with something you couldn’t place. Arrogance? Curiosity? Amusement?

You swallowed. “Y-Yes, sir. I have the files you asked for.”

His eyes dropped down your body, slow and deliberate. You pretended not to notice.

“Pretty young for an intern.” he murmured, taking the folders from your hand but never breaking eye contact. “What’s your name?”

“…Y/n.”

There was a long pause.

Then he grinned. That crooked, devastating smirk that sent heat crawling down your spine.

“Of course it is.”

---

After that, things got weird.

You weren’t doing intern things. No spreadsheets. No coffee runs. No email clean-ups.

Instead?

“Y/n, be a doll and go get me some milk.” he’d say.

You’d bring it back. Regular milk.

He’d take a sip. “Too cold. Go warm it up.”

You’d microwave it. Bring it back.

He’d sip it again. “Now it’s too hot.”

You forced a tight smile. “Sorry, sir.”

He leaned forward, voice just above a whisper. “You’re forgiven… this time.”

Every day was like this.

---

He dropped his pen on the floor just to ask you to bend over and get it.

He made you lean across a desk to “check something on his screen.” just so your chest was right in his face.

He stared when you walked away. He stared when you talked. He stared like he was starving.

Sometimes when you passed by, he’d murmur “Y/n…” under his breath like he was tasting your name again.

---

One afternoon, you brought his lunch up steak, rare and as you set it down, you noticed him staring out the window with that damn smirk.

“You ever think about that night?” he asked, not looking at you.

You blinked. “What night, sir?”

He turned slowly, his bright blue eyes catching the light just right. “The one where you got drunk at some frat house and sent me a little love note.”

Your heart stopped.

You dropped the knife you were setting beside his plate.

“Oh don’t play dumb” he chuckled. “You wrote your name, your whole little fantasy. That was quite the picture, by the way. Cute dress. Cute ass.”

You wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“I was drunk, sir. I didn’t think—”

“No, no. You did think. You just thought I wouldn’t notice. But I always notice things I like.”

He leaned closer. His voice drop

Your breath caught.

“Like bending you over this desk. Right here. Right where you set my lunch. Or having you kneel under it, where no one could see.”

You should leave. You should report him. You should say something. But your legs wouldn’t move. Your mouth wouldn’t open.

All you could do was stare. And burn.

He leaned back and sighed, picking up his fork like nothing happened.

“Go ahead and pick up that knife, sweetheart.” he said, nodding toward the one you dropped. “Unless you like being on your knees.”

You dropped to the floor, fingers curling around the handle. You couldn’t look up at him. You knew what you’d see.

You knew the exact look on his face because you had imagined it a thousand times.

He said nothing as you rose. Just smiled. Just watched.

Just waited.

And you knew deep in your stomach that this wasn’t over.

Not even close

[your-so-vain]

YES MORE DICK GREYSON CONTENT FROM U

Out Of Bounds, Chapter Sixteen.

(A/N!! i know this chapter is short but i want the next chapter to kinda jump into the next event. hope yall enjoy!! xoxo angel <3)

(taglist: @your-so-vain @aejabba @glennussy @eradication-is-enternal-bliss if u want to be added pls tell me!)

Morning light crept through the slats in the curtains, casting golden streaks across the bed and illuminating the tangle of limbs wrapped in soft sheets. Jason’s arm was draped over your waist, his face buried in the crook of your neck, warm breath tickling your skin as he slowly began to stir.

Neither of you had said much since waking, content to just lay there—bodies molded together like they were carved that way. You let your fingers play with the ends of his hair, your mind blissfully blank for the first time in weeks.

But of course, the quiet couldn’t last forever.

Jason shifted, just enough to glance up at you, eyes heavy with sleep and something else—something soft. “Hey.”

You hummed in response, eyes closed.

“So… my father wants you to come over for dinner next weekend,” he said casually, like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb.

Your eyes flew open.

“What?”

Jason grinned against your shoulder. “Dinner. At the manor. Nothing fancy—well, not too fancy. Just Bruce, Alfred, maybe Damian if he’s around. Dick’ll be there, obviously.”

You sat up slightly, the sheet slipping down your chest, eyes wide. “You want me to come to Wayne Manor for dinner?”

Jason propped himself up on his elbow, watching your expression with a mixture of amusement and tenderness. “Don’t look so horrified. You’ve met them before.”

“Barely,” you mumbled, pulling the covers up around you like some kind of armor. “I mean—I know Dick, obviously. And Alfred’s sweet. But your dad? Jason, he’s the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. He terrifies me. I think I’ve said, like, two whole words to him.”

Jason snorted. “Well, that’s two more than most people get. And he likes you.”

You gave him a skeptical look.

“No, really,” he insisted, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “After everything that happened, he told me you were smart. Said it was my fault for screwing up something good.”

Your eyes widened. “He said that?”

Jason nodded. “Word for word.”

You stared at him, heartbeat skipping. You remembered that brief conversation in the infirmary, Bruce’s voice steady and firm, telling you not to throw away your future for heartbreak. He hadn’t seemed cruel then. Just honest.

Still, dinner with the Bruce Wayne was an entirely different beast.

“I’m going to embarrass myself,” you groaned, flopping back into the pillows.

Jason leaned over you, smirking. “I wouldn’t let that happen. Besides…” he paused, brushing a kiss to your cheek, “you already survived my wrath. Bruce is practically a kitten in comparison.”

You snorted. “Somehow I doubt that.”

“You’ll be fine,” he murmured, nuzzling into your neck again. “He’ll love you. They all will. You’re impossible not to love.”

Your chest tightened at his words. It was still new—this openness, this warmth between you—but it felt real. And for once, you were willing to trust that feeling.

“Okay,” you whispered, heart pounding. “I’ll come.”

Jason grinned into your skin, already planning how he’d tease you over dinner nerves the rest of the week.

————

“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Stephanie said, her spoon pausing midair as she raised an eyebrow. “Jason Todd—broody, brooding, broods-for-fun Jason Todd—asked you to dinner. With. His. Family.”

You sighed, cheeks already hot as you stirred your tea with unnecessary focus. “Yes. Merlin, Steph, don’t make it a thing—”

“It is a thing,” she grinned, setting her spoon down to fully turn toward you. “Do you know what this means? This isn’t just ‘sneaking around under the bleachers’ anymore. This is ‘come meet the people who raised me because I’m thinking about keeping you.’”

You groaned, covering your face with one hand. “Please stop talking.”

“I will not!” she declared dramatically. “Do you even know what you’re going to wear? You can’t just waltz into Wayne Manor in your school robes—this is Bruce Wayne. Capital B, Capital W.”

“I know,” you muttered into your cup, the weight of that name alone enough to twist your stomach. “I’ve barely spoken to him outside of class. And the time I fainted in front of him. Great first impression, right?”

Stephanie waved you off. “He’s basically a walking statue. If anyone can crack him, it’s you. Besides, he didn’t expel Jason after the Yule Ball fallout. That has to count for something.”

“I just… I want them to like me,” you admitted quietly. “I mean, I know Dick does. But Alfred? Bruce? Even Damian—”

“Oh please,” Steph said, grinning over the rim of her cup. “They’re going to love you. Especially if you don’t faint this time.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Absolutely,” she beamed. “Now, do you want help picking an outfit or should I just pick something for you and pretend you asked?”

You sighed again, but the nerves were easier to carry with her beside you.

————

Jason waited until the last student shuffled out of the classroom, dragging their feet and muttering about homework. He was halfway out the door himself when he heard it—

“Jason.”

He froze.

Professor Wayne—Bruce—didn’t even glance up from the stack of papers on his desk. “Close the door.”

Jason complied, stepping back into the room and letting the heavy oak door shut behind him. He stood awkwardly near the front row of desks, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Bruce finally looked up. “Did she accept the invitation?” Jason blinked. “Uh—yeah. She did.”

Bruce nodded once, thoughtful. “Good.”

There was a pause—just long enough for Jason to feel uncomfortable.

“She’s a bright girl,” Bruce added, folding his hands in front of him. “Focused. Resilient.”

Jason shifted on his feet, his shoulders tensing. “She is.”

Another pause. “How are things going?”

Jason scratched the back of his neck. “They’re… fine. Better. We’re taking things slow. Mostly.”

Bruce’s brow twitched ever so slightly, but he said nothing.

“She’s… good for me,” Jason said after a beat, and that was the most honest thing he’d said in days. “I don’t want to mess it up again.”

Bruce studied him for a long moment, unreadable as ever. Then he simply nodded. “Then don’t.”

Jason opened his mouth to say something else, but thought better of it. He turned, heading for the door, but not before Bruce added quietly—

“She makes you better. I can see that. Make sure she knows it too.”

Jason left the room with his heart thudding hard in his chest.

————

Clothes were everywhere.

Your bed looked like a battleground. Blouses tossed across pillows, skirts flung over your trunk, a pile of rejected options slowly building on your bed. You stood in the middle of it all, holding up a black dress for the third time and frowning.

“Too fancy?” you asked.

Stephanie, who had made herself quite comfortable sitting crisscrossed in your desk chair while eating a chocolate frog, didn’t even look up. “You’re going to dinner with the Waynes, not applying for a Ministry job. Put it down.”

You sighed, throwing it onto the pile. “You’re not being helpful.”

“I am being helpful,” she argued, licking chocolate off her finger. “I told you not to wear that one.”

“That’s not—ugh. What am I supposed to wear?”

She finally stood, brushing off her skirt and walking over to inspect the damage. “Okay, so. Something nice, obviously. Polished. Respectable.”

You perked up.

“But also something that screams: Hi, yes, I’m the girl your son’s been sneaking around with for the last three weekends.”

“Stephanie!”

She grinned. “What? I’m just saying—subtle sexy is still sexy.”

Your face burned. “I am not dressing sexy for his dad.”

“Not for him! For Jason. And for your own confidence. I mean, c’mon, you’ve got to walk into that house looking like a goddess. Let that man see what he nearly lost and now has to work his ass off to keep.”

You paused, considering that.

“Also,” she added, already rummaging through your closet. “You are staying over the weekend, right?”

“I don’t know—he invited me for dinner—”

“Yeah, and when have you two ever managed to spend time together without it ending in complete clothing loss?” she said, pulling out a deep green sweater dress and holding it up like a trophy. “This. This is it.”

You took it, inspecting the soft fabric. It was modest… but not too modest. The kind of thing you could pair with boots and a coat and still feel like yourself in.

“You think his family will like me?” you asked quietly, half-laughing but not really joking.

Stephanie’s voice softened too. “I think they already do. Dick adores you, Bruce literally carried you to the infirmary and gave you a pep talk, and Alfred? Please. That man probably already has your favorite tea ready.”

You smiled, nerves loosening just a little.

“Now,” she said, clapping her hands, “tell me—will there be some… extracurriculars after this dinner, or is this strictly polite, above-the-belt business?”

You rolled your eyes. “Stephanie.”

“I’m just trying to prepare you emotionally,” she smirked. “Because if I were dating Jason Todd and he looked at me the way he looks at you, I wouldn’t even make it through dessert.”

You snorted and threw a pillow at her, which she caught effortlessly.

“I’m serious!” she said, laughing. “You better text me everything.”

You bit your lip, cheeks warm, and looked down at the dress in your hands. “We’ll see how dinner goes.”

————

The sky was soft and gray, dusk settling in over the castle as students slowly trickled off the field. Jason stayed behind, tossing his broom over his shoulder, still buzzing from the win earlier in the week. He didn’t notice Dick until his brother stepped out from the bleachers, arms crossed and a knowing grin already plastered across his face.

“So,” Dick said casually, falling into step beside him, “Dad tells me you’re bringing her to dinner.”

Jason side-eyed him. “You spying on my calendar now?”

“Nope. Bruce just looked marginally less grumpy than usual and mentioned a guest was coming.” He nudged Jason’s arm. “Didn’t take a genius to figure out who.”

Jason grunted. “You got a problem with it?”

“No,” Dick said, stretching the word like he was trying it out. “Just surprised, is all. I thought you’d be terrified of bringing someone you actually like around Bruce.”

Jason didn’t answer. Mostly because yes, he was terrified. But he wasn’t about to give Dick the satisfaction of hearing that out loud.

“She’s nervous,” Jason muttered instead.

“She should be,” Dick said immediately. “Bruce can be a bit—”

“Intense?”

“I was going to say ‘existentially terrifying,’ but yeah. Intense works too.”

They walked in silence for a beat.

“You really like her,” Dick said eventually, and this time, the teasing tone was gone. He looked over at his brother, a little more serious now. “I mean, I knew you did before, but… this? A Wayne family dinner? That’s like, next-level commitment for you.”

Jason exhaled, not quite a laugh. “Yeah. I do. I screwed up bad and I’m lucky she even wants to see me at all, let alone meet the whole family.”

Dick gave him a look. “Hey. You’re doing better. I’ve seen it. She’s seen it. That’s what matters.”

Jason didn’t reply right away. He just stared straight ahead, fingers tightening around the handle of his broom.

“She deserves everything good,” he said eventually. “And I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be good enough for her. But I’m trying.”

Dick clapped a hand on his shoulder, firm and warm. “That’s all any of us can do. Just—don’t screw this up. Because if you do? You’re not just gonna have Bruce on your ass. You’ll have me too.”

Jason smirked, shoving his arm off. “Yeah, yeah. Protective big brother mode activated. I get it.”

“Damn right.” They reached the castle doors, the last of the golden light slipping behind the mountains.

Jason paused. “Thanks. For not being a dick about it.”

Dick raised a brow. “I am a Dick.”

Jason groaned. “You know what? I take it back.”

[your-so-vain]

💌licked envelopes💌

Word count: 1,469 (lmao 69)

Warnings: age gap, sexual themes, y/n reader, female reader, drunken parties, swearing, sexual mentions, homelander being mad over spilled milk.

💌licked envelopes part two💌 💌licked envelopes part three💌

Authors note: this is just a part one, soo if you guys have any suggestions I’d love to hear them <3

---

You always had a small crush on homelander. Okay well that might be a little lie.

say since high school you loved homelander, it started when you had rewatched some Vought movie and noticed how golden homelander's hair was and how his biceps glistened with sweat

Oh God had homelander always been this hot?!

---

ever since then you had been a total homelander fangirl talking about him most of the time and the other time talking about whatever members of the seven there currently was.

Yeah you knew what everyone was thinking, voughts wet dream. A teenage girl obsessed with their movie star of a hero.

---

It sorta died down when you became an “adult” by that I mean moving out and going to college.

But you didn’t feel like an adult, you still felt like the same girl curled up on your bed watching a vought blockbluster, by yourself.

Your roommate thankfully didn’t mind you having a poster of homelander in your apartment on your side of the room.

Schuyler was the first genuine person you met in this God forsaken city, and you were thankful for that. You needed somebody to help you wonder the busy streets and your own crowded mind

In return you didn’t say anything when she brought back some rando for the night, even if their noises kept you up all night

---

As you were huddled over your small desk in the corner of your room, Schuyler knocked on the door

“come in!”

She opened the door with a happy squeak “oh my God, girl guess what?!!!!”

You sigh before rubbing my temple “yeah?” You look over your shoulder, with a half smile.

“Soooo Josh is having a party and I want you to come!”

“I can’t, I’ve got a test tomorrow and I need to study.”

“C’mon! That’s all you do. Have fun for once, y/n! It’s the last week of the semester, do something!”

You weren’t in the mood to argue with her.

letting out a shaky sigh before agreeing “sure what’s the harm in one party.”

She squeals before immediately running to her closest to fine you something “sexy” to wear

---

You were shocked to say the least after she gave you a short black leather dress. It was a little on the tight side, but that didn’t matter.

After arriving at the party, you immediately had a drink shoved into your hand by an already drunk schuyler.

You reluctantly drank it, the bitter taste leaving a weird after taste in your mouth that later turned, sweet?

---

After at least i dunno three or four drinks, you started absolutely dropping more then enough information about homelander to last three lifetimes

“Did you uh k-know he grew up in Montana?!” You laugh drunkenly as your words slur together “like the worlds best super, is from Montana!”

Apparently you found it hilarious, as you had uncontrollable giggles thinking about it.

“Like c-can you imagine him, being raised in the most boring state?!”

Some boys in the frat house, the party was being held in laughed. You couldn’t tell if they genuinely found it funny or was just trying to get in your pants, well in this case in your dress.

---

you stretched your body out across the frat house couch, a sigh exiting your body.

Until schuyler leaned overtop of you with a drunken smile

“Ohmygoshhhh GIRL! you look soooooo good! Like I k-knew that dress would be good o-on you.”

She eyes you up in down, before an idea entered her mind

“Y’know what you should do!”

“Huh?”

“You should t-take a pic for homelander, cause like you’re so sexy right now!”

“… your so fucking smart” you immediately hopped off the couch like a rabbit, checking every cabinet and drawer in the frat, for a camera until

The holy grail!

---

You found a polaroid camera that had to be from the 90’s and it surprisingly had film in it.

“woah, y/n that has to be at least fifty years old. Right?”

“….Prolly not.”

You both drunkly and stupidly stare at the camera before grabbing it and running to a room with a full body mirror, schuyler hyping you up the whole time.

As you posed and took pictures. The camera light reflecting off of the mirror and momentarily making your eyes a bit sore

---

After taking at least ten pictures from different, what your drunken mind thought was sexy.

You and Schuyler picked out one of you from the back looking over your shoulder; and the bottom of your dress hitched up a bit showing off some of your ass.

---

After the party was over, you stopped at some random pizza diner that for some reason was still open at 1:38 am

With the polaroid sitting in the middle of the greasy table, between you and Schuyler.

As you finished eating two huge slices of pepperoni pizza you managed to get a sharpie from the man behind the counter, and somehow a envelope as well

“Is this a pizzeria or a fucking post office, why do they have all this?” Schuyler laughs into her palm as she leans back into her chair

As you finished writing on the back of the polaroid, you wrote your name, and the vought tower address with homelanders name signed with hearts around it.

You licked the sticky part of the envelope, before closing it and holding it in a tight grip in your hand.

---

you then pay for your food, and schuylers with her saying she’d “definitely pay you back!” you knew she wouldn’t but you didn’t care.

On your walk back to your apartment you slipped the envelope into a big blue mail box, smiling as you did so. with schuyler a little further down the side walk yelling for you, or else she’d leave you.

---

You woke up with a head splitting headache, you slowly sat up in bed, running a hand through your messy hair that you didn’t bother to brush last night, or even brush your teeth for that matter.

Your head turned to the clock on your counter 10:47 AM?!

Oh God you were late for your test!

At the speed of light you jumped out of bed and quickly began getting ready, the letter hadn’t even crossed your mind.

You were so drunk last night that it’d be impossible to remember.

Right as you grabbed your bag before leaving, you took a look at your self in the mirror “…I look like shit.”

And with that you closed the door behind you and ran to your class.

---

homelander had been mad all day, apparently he asked an intern for some milk and he gave him almond milk…

That was enough to set him off storming into Ashley’s office with his usual speech about him being the boss and in charge

Of course, Ashley just nodded in fear and agreed

---

“Where’s all the fan mail I’ve gotten?” Homelander asked Ashley

“It’s um on the sixty third floor, like it’s always been. Why?”

“I don’t need to give you a reason!” He snarled out at her, slamming her office door behind him, as he went to the sixty third floor

He usually didn’t check his own fan mail, sure it fed his ego to know all these people loved him but, he’s homelander! he wouldn’t touch that stuff with a ten foot pole.

Unless he’s in a mood like today.

---

By some luck, the first piece of fan mail he picks up happens to be yours?!

He looks at it for a moment, with a slight confused look on his face

“Y/n?”

He rolled the name off his tongue, he liked the way it sounded in his mouth

Homelander practically rips the envelope open, when he did the photo of you fell out.

His eyes caught it instantly and he grabbed it before it could hit the floor.

his mouth salivating as his blue eyes examined the photo, he soon flipped it over to see what you had wrote and he read it aloud to himself

“I heard your eyes glow when you cum” he rubbed the bridge of his nose while reading this. Not knowing how to feel

“I’m a visual learner, one day you could show me”

He looked at the smudged sharpie on the back of the photo before flipping it around to look at you

---

For a minute he didn’t do anything he just looked, and then he shoved the photo into his pocket

He was definitely going to save that to jerk off later.

“Y/n..” he muttered as he walked out, a smile forming onto his lip’s, as he imagined bending you over and showing you what you wanted to learn.

---

Homelander reading the back of the Polaroid

[your-so-vain]

This started off as a bird drawing and somehow went like this

[your-so-vain]

MY MAN MY MAN WHERE MY MANNN🫦🫦

Gryffindor Dick Grayson HCS

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Gryffindor Dick who still flirts like he’s trying to win you over even after the two of you began dating. Passing you notes with dumb pick-up lines in class, and showing up to your common room with flowers he definitely stole from the herbology greenhouse.

Gryffindor Dick who is very chivalrous when it comes to you— Holding the door open and dramatically offering you his cloak when you’re cold.

Gryffindor Dick who always wants you to sit with him even if you’re from a different house. “You could eat with your house…But that would break my heart.” He’s very clingy and just always wants to be around you.

Gryffindor Dick who definitely keeps a picture of you in his dorm, calls it his “daily motivation” and it’s just a picture of you smiling.

NSFW AHEAD !!

Gryffindor Dick who is one hundred percent a giver through and through. He’ll get hard just from going down on you— It’s his favorite thing to do, grinding against the bed and all. Will definitely drop to his knees in seconds if you look at him the right way. Loves to feel your hands in his hair, tugging and pulling.

Gryffindor Dick who loves to talk you through it, especially when you begin whining and whimpering just from his fingers in you. He finds it cute. “That’s it love, you’re doing so good. Look at you, so good for me.”

Gryffindor Dick who loves quickies. Between classes, after practice or matches, or even just a meetup in the hallway. He always pulling you into some bathroom or hidden room, can’t seem to keep his hands off you— Even if it’s just to pleasure you.

Gryffindor Dick who loves when you ride him, it’s his favorite position because he likes the way your boobs jiggle every time he thrusts up in you. He’s also big on eye contact, wants to see everything you’re feeling, especially when you cum.

(A/N: dick grayson is definitely a “where my hug at” guy)

[your-so-vain]

<?> For Your Eyes Only<?>

Word count: 1046

Warnings: sexual themes, slight aggression, prob bad spelling lmao, Edward nashton being himself, angst, smut

Part one <?> For Your Eyes Only<?> part two <?> For Your Eyes only <?> part three <?> For Your Eyes Only<?>

(Edward’s pov)

I didn’t mean to get this close to them, i was just supposed to leave a few pictures outside their door is all!

But I screwed it up like I do everything, if only I didn’t wait under that fucking light to finally meet y/n, oh God I couldn’t resist them though.

Just their smile and way they talk is enough to make me crack, I hate them and how perfect they are but I love them for it

---

“The reason I met y/n wasn’t even my fault!” Edward muttered to himself, as he bit his thumb nail in a fit of nervousness and frustration

He kicked a pile of dirty clothes out of him way while he walked impatient circles in his rather dirty apartment.

“I-If they didn’t look at me that way, on the damn train!” He kicked a nearby chair out of anger, hurting his foot as did so, cursing under his breath.

Edward’s head turned over to peek at his closet door from inside his room, he saw that dark green worn out costume just staring back at him. He knew what he had to do.

---

After Edward had finished lacing up his boots he picked up a sharpie and his camera, immediately making his way over to your apartment.

He knew this was bad

He shouldn’t do this

He needs to snap out of this as quick as possible

But he’s only a man and occasionally a man gets need’s that a hand just can’t satisfy. Once he stood in front of your door he contemplated over his actions

What the hell was he doing?! He should be home catching up on some work but instead he was outside your door, with a boner hardening by the second, making it feel as if his boxers were suffocating his lower half

Eventually he gained the courage to knock on your door with a shaky breath.

---

(reader pov)

You had been laying in bed contemplating over what had been happening over the past few days before you heard knock!

Obviously you knew who it was, your gut never lied to you, you shot up and ran to the door to open it but right when your hand reached the handle you paused?

God this isn’t right, you thought to you self

This isn’t Edward, you had muttered under your breath, little did you know you would be right

It wasn’t the Edward you knew and still didn’t know if you loved, it was riddler the big bad terrorizer of Gotham. The man who everybody and their mother fears and that didn’t exclude you.

---

Soon enough you opened the door, your hands shaking slightly as you did so you had been met with a pair of eccentric green eyes.

your body shuffled a bit to the side, making room for Edward to walk in.

As soon are you had moved he practically ran inside your apartment, as soon as he thru his dark green mask off, throwing it on some nearby furniture

his hand flew to your waist as his lips met yours, the two flavors blending into one as his tongue explored your mouth

he moaned your name into your own mouth, turning you on.

But you knew this wasn’t right, he wasn’t supposed to be here, he wasn’t supposed to be here making you feel as horny as you do.

---

“I missed you.” You let out in a breathy tone

“i couldn’t get you out of my mind, everyday i thought of you.” he bit his bottom lip while looking you up and down, his eyes gazing a lot longer on any piece of skin that shown.

“Oh Goddd” he slurred out, his voice drunken with lust

Just as you let yourself go, and melt into his arms your conscious takes control of your body

“This isn’t right!”

“I didn’t stay for a reason.”

You thought to yourself before pushing Edward of off you

---

he let out a confused “huh?” Not understanding why you’d do that. Was is it fault did he do something wrong?

“We can’t do this.” You let out in a mix of disgust and disappointment with yourself for letting him back in your life

“B-But y/n i’ll change I-if that’s what you want?”

“No Edward!” You wiped a tear falling from your eye

“I don’t need this, even if you did change you would still have the riddler I-in you and I can’t handle that!”

“Why?! Y/n tell me!”

“Because you scare me!”

You huffed out, your chest rising and falling with your breathing as Edward stared at you blankly, his lip twitching slightly

Suddenly he stepped towards you, he looked down at you his eyes yearning with desire

“I would never hurt you, do you know that?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I can’t be with you if I’m not certain.”

Edward clutched his hands into fists by his side

“God! What more could you want?! I-i’ve tried everything for you but it’s never enough! I was willing to change who I am just for you but that still wasn’t good enough for you y/n!?!”

He yelled out as he anxiously ran a hand through his hair, you were convinced your neighbors heard him.

You flinched in response

It startled him a bit “please y/n” his hand caresses your cheek softly

“i need you, i can’t live without you, what will I do without you?!”

You turned your head to not look at him, you couldn’t bring yourself to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry over him

“Figure it out, it’s not my problem.” You said through silent tears

---

Edward stood in place for a moment, he would be lying if he didn’t say that he didn’t expect this to happen but he also expected you to welcome him with open arms

As you both stood in silence, Edward grabbed your face and kissed you passionately; his tongue exploring the inside of your mouth.

Soon after the kiss Edward gave you rough kisses across your entire face, you let him do it for a moment before pushing him back

You wiped your face with your sleeve as edward watched with eyes that yearned for your touch

“get out.” You said with a whisper, hoping he wouldn’t hear you and stay a moment longer

But Edward heard more then he needed to hear, he nodded his head in a feeling of anger mixed with disappointment.

---

he then turned toward your front door, he looked over his shoulder at you for a brief moment

“i love you, y/n”

He opened the door before shutting it softly as he walked out

leaving you alone with your thoughts and emotions, which is very dangerous for any persons mental state.

---

<?> The end <?>

(Sorry for how long this took I had writers block for like a week😔😔)

[your-so-vain]

I was watching a movie (the guilty btw) and I IMMEDIATELY knew Paul dano just by his voice and now I wish to hear more of his beautiful voice 😔 @wrappedinpinklace was there when it happened

[your-so-vain]

Crazy how a process can be like that