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thusatlas · 4 years ago

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Ask for what you want, not what you think you should have

I have a theory. Well, I have many, but this particular theory is a doozy. The theory is… (wait for it) …

Everything is connected. I know, I am a genius. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I’ll collect my Nobel Award whilst I pick a up cucumber canapé on my way out.

But seriously, as obvious as it is, the more I reflected inward on my stream of conscious and started asking why, the more I have begun to connect the dots. I have become more aware that my actions, feelings and emotions that can be explained through cause and effect.

Here I want you all to take one mental step to the left to avoid falling down the free will and determinism rabbit hole before you. That is not today's topic. It might be next weeks, but not today. So just shimmy on over to this mental path that I’m laying for you here. On this path, we are accepting that we as individuals are moral agents, accountable for our actions and behaviours. Therefore, you have free will in a world that has been pre-determined by other free moral agents. Or if that’s too deep for you, just move right on past this philosophical premise and carry on enjoying the allegory I’m about to weave for you.

This all began some time ago, way back in high school, when I had to write my CV for the first time. I know that feeling of discomfort one feels when you fill out a job form, write a personal statement or cover letter is not individual to myself. This is a widespread phenomenon and yet the only way that you can progress professionally or academically is to sell yourself. Hence there is an entire profession in which you can be paid for writing somebody else’s CV. Furthermore, hence the reason why the widely understood, highly inaccurate statistic accepted as truth is that all CEO’s and higher business people are psychopaths; one of the defining features of psychopathy being arrogance and narcissism (that part is true but again, not the point of today’s topic…moving on). We, the neuro-typical, non-psychopathic, really struggle to write about our best selves when it comes to applications of any kind. We do it because we have to, not because we want to.

Now think about it. I write and talk about many things throughout my days, from objective truths to subjective feelings. I process categorical facts and infer meaning that is hidden within the subtext. I imagine stories, characters, worlds, conversations and ensuing emotions. All without effort.

And yet.

I cannot write about myself. I cannot write about my good qualities with ease, without that feeling of discomfort. I cannot do it as easily as I am writing this now.

Sound familiar? If it doesn’t, then firstly what’s your secret? If that does resonate with you, keep following me down the yellow brick road of this allegory. I’m going to turn it into something less deep, far easier to swallow and then bring it back to filling in application forms.

It’s going to be cool.

Hopefully…

The list of top 10 most loved/dreaded questions. Somewhere on this list is: what do you want for Christmas/your birthday because I find answering it be an egoistic minefield to navigate. Apparently, it’s considered impolite to ask for all one’s problems to be solved or a million pounds or a new car/house/holiday. What I used to say, was what I actually wanted in an exaggerated way that would generally garner a chuckle. Both myself and the other participant in the conversation knew that I was being 100 per cent serious and if the person asking was happy to buy me my dream house then I would shamelessly have accepted (whilst also repeatedly enquiring if they were sure because I couldn’t possibly, hoping beyond hope that they would not come to their senses). However, this rarely (never) happened. Thus, the usual rapport was:

Person A - “What do you want for your birthday?”

Person B - “I would love a 50-foot yacht and a butler named Steve to attend my every whim”

A and B participate in the prescribed requisite chuckle.

Person B – “But seriously, I haven’t really thought about it.”

Person A – “let me know if you think of anything”

Person B – “Of course, though you don’t have to get me anything”

Person A – “nonsense, it’s your birthday”

End scene. I will pick up the Oscar for lead performance whilst I sample these delectable mini-hamburgers. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I had this conversation for years until I questioned what’s the point of it if nobody gets anything out of it. Having been both Person A and B, it’s uncomfortable for both parties because Person B doesn’t want to be perceived as selfish while Person A is asking to avoid the stress of having to guess what Person B wants. Now, while I love a good humble moment, this is not the time to be humble. Similar to job interviews, CV writing or personal statements. Why is it that we are not comfortable with celebrating our wants, our needs even when we are being directly asked to sell ourselves or literally tell someone what we want.

So I had a revelation a couple of years ago. I am aware that this is not going to be groundbreaking for other people but stay with me here. As of now, my life in regards to birthdays and Christmas’ consists of throwing the humble pie out of the window. My birthday is fast approaching and my family have begun to ask what I want.

AND HERE IS THE POINT OF THE ALLEGORY!

Bedsocks.

(Groundbreaking isn’t it.)

But seriously, my feet get cold because my house is old and the end of the bed is right by a window. You see the issue. Might as well sleep with my tootsies exposed to the winter’s chill.

However, (plot twist) I also want the new Jean Paul Gaultier Classique perfume which retails from £44 - £88 depending on the outlet.

I’m going to pause here because this is a Q.E.D moment. While the point of this post is not about asking the internet to get me what I want for my birthday, I feel the need to point out that I would, of course, be happy with just a card or a hug or a text for my birthday. I am merely using this as an example for the said allegory which has not yet been fully actualised. I am not some entitled princess who’s going to throw a tantrum reminiscent of Dudley Dursley if I don’t get what I want.

(If you’re not getting that reference then shame on you).

Now that I am 80 per cent sure that you don’t think I’m Veruca Salt (you better get that one), I shall continue with my point. I chose to embrace and show that yes, I want bedsocks and yes I also want magnificent perfume. Two drastically different items for the same person but these are items that I objectively want. I was asked so I answered. I am a bougie queen with cold feet.

What was interesting was the reaction of person A. There was an acceptance of my bedsock suggestion, though they did amend with, “Is that all? It’s not much”. The response to the Jean Paul Gaultier suggestion was “you don’t want much do you?” said with a scoff. We shall gloss over the mixed signals and possible shadiness and explore the duality of these responses to the embracing of my wants.

If you ever need to ground yourself or remind yourself that you are a product of all that came before you and all that will come after you, look to the Ancient Greeks. For a society that existed over 4000 years ago, we are still practising and preaching the philosophies of Thales, Aristotle, Socrates and Plato. You can find watermarks of the Greek thinkers hidden in the folds of much of modern societies ideologies, legalities, politics and psychology.

Does that mean they were ahead of their time or with all that society has evolved over that time, the human condition remains the same, regardless of how wise and savvy we think we have evolved to be?

Now it was widely accepted amongst theologians, philosophers, sociologists and psychologists that if you wish to look at the skeletal structure of a society in a snapshot, then look to their religious beliefs.

I’m going to need you to take a mental step to the right to avoid falling down the ‘is God real’ rabbit hole. We are not here to discuss the objective existence of the divine. So, I’m going to need you to hope back on our yellow brick road where we are accepting the truth that all pantheons have objectively exist in the narrative of human history within their respective societies.

To the point, the Ancient Greeks believed in a pantheon full of diverse Gods (big G, we don’t theologically discriminate here). When I first thought of the Greek pantheon, my thoughts immediately go to Zeus and his ilk. However, I’ve been on the Google and am now more informed than I was 5 minutes ago (look at me and my fact-checking… if only Fox News were the same).Anyway, briefly for your understanding, the Greek pantheon is split into 8 parts.

Parts one through to four covers the Gods who are the essential ingredients for the fabric of reality. So, Gaia who is the Earth, Pontos the Sea, and Ouranos the Dome of Heaven. The Daimones (spirits) and Nymphai who nurture the life of the four elements and so on. The Daimones that affect the body and mind: Eros the spirit of love (not to be confused with lust or attraction), Phobos the spirit of fear, Thanatos the spirit of Death. The Gods who control the forces of nature and who interacted and taught mankind. Helios the sun and Anemoi the wind; the agricultural earth Gods Ploutos, not to be confused with the pastoral Gods Pan, nor the city Gods Hestia. The Titan Gods Themis, Kronos, Prometheseus etc, are not to be confused with the defied mortals who are considered to be part of this section of the pantheon: Herakles, Asklepios etc. Nor should they be confused with the Olympian Gods Hebe and Mousai. This condensed list is actually very long.

Now we have the fifth part that everyone knows. The 12 Olympians who preside and govern over the aforementioned and the ones who have yet to be mentioned. They are Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Demeter, Artemis, Apollo, Ares, Athene, Aphrodite, Hephaistos, Hermes, Dionysos and Hestia. Part six through to eight covers the constellations and the horoscopes, the monsters and the semi-divine love children of the Olympians who defeated them

That is a majorly condensed list however its extensiveness is the point I am trying to make here so I appreciate you if you have stuck with me thus far. If you wish for a full list of the Greek Pantheon here are links to further your own reading: (1, 2, 3).

So, the Greeks had this diverse belief system. These beings who governed their every action. Literally everything, physical and metaphysical alike.

Now tell me what they missed.

Tell me what’s missing from this very extensive list.

Evil.

Ah, but there is Hades the God of the underworld you say! There are monsters!

Hades was made evil by Disney I’m sorry to say (though he was fabulous).

Hades in the Greek pantheon is the God of the dead and Zeus fucked up and much as he did. Odysseus is a soap opera, I swear. Anyway, the monsters? They’re as neutral as death. They are creatures doing exactly what is within their nature to do. Thus the underlying ethos of the pantheon. Every one of those deities commits actions that can be perceived to be ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ by the humans they lived alongside. The Greeks did not revere them to be absolute good, nor absolute evil. What they did, was perceive them to portray unavoidable facets of our day-to-day lives that should be celebrated, acknowledged and respected. For example, take Dionysus, the God of wine, pleasure, festivity, madness and wild frenzy. Basically, this bitch was the life of the party. As such, large banquets and hedonistic orgies were often held in his name, celebrating pleasure, life and the loss of control within the madness of relinquishing stress.

But we aren’t the Ancient Greeks are we (though I know I look fetching in a toga if I do say so myself).

Western civilisation, take the United Kingdom, for example, founded its legal system upon the 10 commandments of the monotheist pantheon of Christianity. Furthermore, The Act of Supremacy in 1534 appointed King Henry VIII the first Supreme Governor of the Church of England. A largely ceremonial title that has been passed on to reigning monarchs ever since. Within the United Kingdom, Church and State have been very much intertwined since the days of the court governance. As such, themes of Christian teachings and concepts became entwined within our culture, and over the years have become so embedded that accepted behaviour and social nuances are not intrinsically associated with its religious teaching. The obvious examples to point out are the recent milestone law amendments to same-sex marriages and abortion. Going deeper into social norms: the concepts of purity and promiscuity, humbleness and arrogance, greed, sin and punishment. I have been brought up in a time where I have heard the rhetoric about my own body change from ‘do not sleep around, don’t be easy’ to ‘it’s your body, equality, if men can do it, you can to’. Aside from my own personal views on this topic, this social rhetoric is a symptom of the culture in which we live. They also echo some (not all) Christian teachings. Triandis and Triandis (1988-2004) have produced many works on the development of culture, the bare bones of the explanation being that culture of a society is a product of history, language and stories. Prior to written print, all information was passed on from generation to generation through stories. These stories contained information about countries' histories, experiences, and beliefs. The languages and gestures telling the stories are a creole of invading forces and immigrating travellers. These are the bare ingredients for culture. All that is left to perfect this recipe is time. Leave to mature of a few centuries and you’ve got a fine wine and a handful of convoluted social norms. Hence, the aforementioned rhetoric and the continued acceptance within British culture that the Monarch is the head of the Church.

The Ancient Greeks didn’t have time. Their teachings and stories are still hailed today, but their civilisation did not survive long enough for their culture to become a social norm.

Now, the reason why we’ve gone through this is to point out that the Christian pantheon is heavily reliant upon the idea of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. Absolute good. Absolute evil. I could do an entire blog on the different theological branches of Christianity and how they have affected Western culture. In this instance, we shall focus on the concept of sin. Though it is obvious, it must be pointed out:

Sin is bad.

Bad is punished.

Ergo - Must avoid sin.

What is sin? Well, sinning is many things if we go by the Bible and the wholesome Leviticus, but here we are focusing on the widely known and accepted concept of the Seven deadly sins. Though these little devils didn’t specifically make a named appearance in the Bible, their themes were present throughout. Thereafter they were popularised and named via Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and Dante’s Purgatory.

Hopefully, you’re beginning to see all the threads of this post coming together now.

The Seven deadly sins are as such:

Greed

Envy

Lust

Gluttony

Wrath

Sloth

Pride

It is accepted within Western culture that behaviour must avoid ‘evil’ to avoid punishment. Ergo, we must avoid behaving in any way that can be associated with the aforementioned fiendish sins.

And so. The point.

I want bougie perfume and bedsocks for my birthday. Bedsocks is an acceptable humble and utilitarian item. It is not frivolous.

Bougie perfume? It is frivolous. It is a luxury. It is Greed. The fact that I boldly stated as such? Maybe a hint of Pride in my request? Either way, it is a social norm to at least raise an eyebrow at somebody stating frankly that they want an expensive item for their birthday.

To stress this point: if I had asked for driving lessons which are double the price of the perfume, no comment would have been made because of its utility. And so I bring you right back to the beginning. I am applying for jobs and finding the whole process unbearably uncomfortable because I am wondering if me toting all my achievements in one go and really selling myself will come across as arrogant (pride).

I should be humble, shouldn’t I? Humble me in the face of power…Isn’t that the social norm here? Which leads me to my final conclusion. Here are two different worldviews and neither are false and neither are true. If everything is connected (and that is what we call a callback) and if I were an Ancient Greek, how would I apply for jobs? How would I tote my credentials when there is no punishment for being proud of my accomplishments? When there is no concept of sin within the narrative of my worldview and just differing aspects of my nature, surely applying for jobs, asking for presents, networking etc, etc, etc, would be a far less painful experience?

#blog #greek gods #mental health #theory #religion #politics #everything is connected #psychology #philosophy #theology #all human constructs #created by humans #to understand the human condition #diaries of a snowflake #experimental life of a snowflake #short essay

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readyplayerhobi · 7 years ago

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A Constellation Of Fires | 01

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Angst, fluff, future smut

; Word Count: 12k

; Warnings: Mentions of scarring

; Synopsis: Vulcan Industries, a titan in the world of technological inventions that have helped humanity progress. Despite its influence though, their CEO remains a mystery to the world, content to simply invent in the shadows. That is, until a journalist uncovers the mystery that connects a simple car mechanic to the technology giant.

; Greek Gods Series

Hades; Poseidon; Zeus; Hephaestus; Artemis; Athena; Ares;

01 | 02

“Excitement today as Vulcan Industries revealed its newest product, a revolutionary mobile phone that incorporates ful 3D holograms. The surprising reveal far exceeds what industry experts had been predicting and represents a huge leap in technological advancements, with Vulcan Industries highlighting that a subsection unit has been developed directly for the health industry, allowing for completely sterile interactions with patient files and more.

“Industry analysts are reporting that Vulcan Industries stocks have risen by 5% at the news that has sent shockwaves through the technology industry.” Sitting back in your uncomfortable office chair, the back long since broken on it meaning it was at an odd angle which often caused back ache, you eyed your laptop as the perfectly coiffed woman read out the hottest news story in a while.

Accompanied with the news anchors voice was footage of the reveal, taken at a news conference at the Vulcan Industries headquarters in Northern California. It was justifiably awe inspiring, watching the assistant bring out a mobile phone and with a few button presses, everything on the screen leapt up into the air and was projected perfectly, from documents to a few basic games Vulcan had created.

After this, those attending were invited to play around with the holograms, moving things around and flipping through screens by simply flicking their fingers in the air. It boggled your mind how they’d done it, and you had no doubt that it was boggling every other industry as well. This was truly science fiction technology that was only ever seen in film or on shows, but what did anyone expect from Vulcan Industries?

They’d always been decades ahead of everyone else, all thanks to their mysterious CEO who was credited with the biggest inventions they created. While they had plenty of inventors who had produced hundreds of smaller technological advancements, such as the latest in television screens and so forth, it was the reclusive CEO who created the biggest news worthy inventions.

Every piece of technology created had an original purpose for a certain industry, such as this 3D hologram technology being created to allow medical staff in hospitals and laboratories across the world to use screens without having to touch anything, allowing for 100% sterile technology.

The medical holograms were also being used in conjunction with current Vulcan technology found in hospitals that allowed for completely 3D scans of bodies, allowing doctors and surgeons to view breaks or tumours and so forth. With the addition of holograms, surgeons could now overlay the scan above a person during a surgery and provide real time imaging of what was happening.

Modifying the technology for mobile phones was simply a way to bring it to the general population, allowing this to fund the larger scale productions. The sheer genius and skills of the Vulcan CEO made him, or her, a very wanted person and yet they shunned the limelight, allowing others in the company to take over.

Even in depth searches into the history of the company, or rooting through legal documents about the companies ownership, simply resulted in pseudonyms such as Hope Justice or Heff Jackson, making the hermit-like CEO one of the biggest mysteries in the world.

It’s only when you register your boss calling your name that your attention is diverted, leading you to poking your head up over the top of the section divider and looking into his glass fronted office. He gestures towards you, signalling that he wants to talk with you.

Grabbing your notebook and a pen, you lock your screen before shuffling into his office. Hopefully this isn’t getting your ass reamed out for failing to land the big scoop about Vulcan Industries, he’d put you on the job months ago when the rumblings that they had something big incoming began.

But really, this wasn’t your fault. Literally no one saw this coming, not even the other tech companies. Vulcan hadn’t even been rumoured to be experimenting with holograms, the last you’d heard was some rumours about satellites that would generate solar power and somehow feed it back to Earth. It made your brain hurt and from the sounds of it, made the experts brains hurt too.

Nodding your head to Donghae, you quickly sit yourself in the chair opposite him and open your notebook ready to jot down any notes that are important. He’s quiet for a moment, his eyes focused on the large flat screen situated on some drawers to your right. It’s on the same news channel you’d been watching, the sound silenced while subtitles pop up a few seconds after the anchor speaks.

It’s still showing the new Vulcan announcement and your stomach sinks slightly. Your ass is going to be chapped by the time you leave here; you just know it. Donghae hates being late on the news.

“Donghae, I’m really sorry that I didn’t catch this. I’ll try harder next time I swear, I think I have an in with the company now-“ Your pre-emptive apology gets stopped though when he lifts up a hand, a contemplative look on his face.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s already done now. And quite clearly Vulcan had this shit on lockdown; I doubt anyone got wind of this happening,” he rubs his chin slowly before leaning back, the cushy executive chair cushioning his back as it squeaks slightly from his weight. “But I think we need to change gears. Instead of focusing on the company, maybe we should try and focus on the person behind the scenes.”

Your eyes widen as you look back up at him, shock clearly evident on every inch of your face. “Are you kidding? Go after the CEO? Literally no one has ever gotten close, what makes you think I could get anywhere near?” He was deluded if he thought you could get this answer.

“You’re my best investigative journalist, you already said that you have an inside mole in the company right? Work it, find out who it is. I have faith in you.” You’re not entirely sure why he has faith in you. If you couldn’t find out that Vulcan was developing hologram technology, how on earth where you going to find out whom the elusive CEO was?

“If you do it, this will be the expose of the century. Everyone across the world would want this scoop. Even better, I’ll give you a 7k pay rise and a 10k bonus if you get this. Your job would be more than secure forever.” He leans forward and rests his chin on his entwined fingers, mouth turning up in a smile that you’re positive he thinks is persuasive, but instead is coming off slightly sinister.

You freeze for a moment before answering, hesitant and unsure suddenly. Unveiling the CEO of Vulcan Industries was as juicy a news story as any journalist could ever hope for and it would propel your career skyward, but at the same time your morals were arguing with each other fervently.

The devil on your right shoulder was pointing out that you were a journalist, it was your job to uncover news and the stories that people wanted to keep hidden. The CEO’s identity was news that the world was desperate to know.

But the angel on your left was vehemently pointing out that people had a right to privacy, and the CEO had quite clearly asked for that by making it so hard to find out who they were. It’s with more than a little shame that the journalist in you won out, deciding silently to yourself that it was unfair for this crazy rich and talented individual to stay unheralded when there were likely thousands, if not millions, of people worldwide who would love to thank the mystery inventor for improving or saving their lives.

Besides, it’s not like they’ve done a crime or anything right?

“Okay, I’ll work on it. No time frame though; this might take a long time. And I might never find out so don’t get annoyed if I produce nothing.” Donghae nods and a sly grin spreads on his face, letting you know that he’s already thinking of the fame and dollars that will come his way if you succeed.

On the other hand, you leave his office feeling slightly sick from a guilt you can’t push away. Taking one last glance at the television screen playing the news, you swallow thickly as you pray that you’ve made the right choice.

It was a good job that you’d made it clear to Donghae that it might take a while, as seven months later you’ve still found almost nothing. Your mole in the company is proving to be distinctly unhelpful, telling you that the CEO doesn’t even visit the headquarters and instead has video conferences with the Board of Directors and any communication is sent through his assistant, who serves as his proxy in the building.

You have found out however, that it would seem like the abstract boss is apparently completely uninterested in how the company is run except that it’s run in the interest of the people. The employees have ridiculous benefits, even by Californian company standards. Even the cleaners are given top-of-the-line premium healthcare and dental and each person is given at least 10 stocks of the company that can be sold once they leave.

Employees with children are given a college fund with $20,000 in it for each child and if an employee dies, their family is paid their salary plus 50% for ten years. Honestly, it makes you think that you’re in the wrong job.

Not only that, but the company was obligated to give 10% of all profits to charity, with 10 charities chosen each year by their employees across the world. It had been a leader in adopting full scale recycling and trying to turn completely green, all at the behest of the CEO.

If you weren’t trying to uncover their identity, you’d be in awe of them in all honesty. But it’s after these long months that you finally make a break through when your mole informs you that all company owned vehicles have to be serviced at a specific car shop.

The shop is in some little throwaway town about two hours away from the headquarters near the mountains, which confused you initially. Surely the company had a whole host of mechanics that could work on them? But apparently not, which immediately made you wonder what made this little shop so special, particularly as it didn’t even have a website or anything.

After informing Donghae of your discovery, he allows you to leave to do some further investigation into the car shop, which is how you find yourself standing outside an old looking, but incredibly clean and well-maintained garage. It’s quiet outside, with no cars passing by and from your position in the car park, standing next to your piece of crap car; you can see that there’s a respectable looking house hidden down a road behind the garage.

The mechanic must live there as well, indicating that this place must be his, or her, pride and joy. Fingers tightening on the strap of your bag, you move towards the door that enters into a little waiting area, blue plastic chairs looking well used but more than serviceable.

Plain white walls surround you, decorated with diagrams of cars and a couple of posters of some supercars. There’s a few magazines piled haphazardly on a low table in the centre, the contents ranging from cars to beauty to nature, ensuring that they cater for a wide audience.

There’s a counter to your left with a bookcase piled high with files behind it. A dark green door next to this no doubt leads through to the garage, through which you can hear a radio playing music loudly, the beats loud and pounding to the extent that you can feel the vibrations from here.

On the counter is an old school bell, which causes your eyebrow to rise in disbelief as you look from it to the door. How the hell is anyone supposed to hear that tiny ass thing when it sounds like Glastonbury is playing next door?

Still, you walk over and bring your hand down on the little bell with amusement, the little chime sounding loud to you but unless the mechanic has the ears of a bat then it’s useless.

You’re immediately proven a fool though when the music cuts out in the garage behind the door and a female voice that sounds ever so slightly robotic calls out clearly over the speakers.

“Customer waiting.”

Looking down at the bell with surprise, you look it over for any wires that may be connecting it to some system. For a moment you think this is all just a little big high tech for a tiny mechanics shop in the middle of nowhere, but then you remember that this is the chosen place to repair all the cars of Vulcan Industries.

And from what you’ve learnt, their cars are the crème de la crème of the car world, just like every other industry they enter. They’d succeeded with the first self-driving, eco-friendly cars to be approved for sale. Given the amount of tech that goes into their cars, it should only make sense that they likely pay this mechanic by the bucket loads.

He or she’s probably got more than a few things that are probably at the cutting edge of technology back in there, all courtesy of Vulcan Industries.

The door opens finally, giving you a glimpse of what looks to be a standard car garage, with a black Vulcan Fuego sedan currently up in the air on a stand to allow a mechanic underneath without worry of injury. Industrial sized brackets are held up against the wall, with tubs of car parts stashed in each one and even from here you can see that they are all carefully labelled.

What little you can see soon vanishes though as a man walks through the door, head down as he focuses on cleaning his hands with a grease soaked rag. Clad in a t-shirt that you’re sure was white once but is instead now a grimy grey that is streaked with lubricant and black jeans that you’re sure are used to hide the stains he gains constantly.

His feet are firmly placed into a pair of grubby and scuffed brown work boots, no doubt with a steel toe in each to try and prevent, or at least offset, any injuries that could potentially happen. Throwing the towel over his shoulder back into the garage, the mystery mechanic finally looks up and you find yourself feeling rather like the towel, thrown for a loop.

Black hair that is subtly highlighted with red shines in the artificial lighting that has been designed to simulate sunlight, messy and wild as if he’s been running his fingers through it constantly in frustration. Some of the strands are stuck together, partially from the car oil and grease that patterns his arms like a mechanics camouflage and partially from the sweat that is currently running down his face and neck.

This region of California is currently experiencing a heat wave, and a physically intensive job like a car mechanic is bound to be even worse in these kinds of conditions, no matter how fancy your garage is.

It’s as he wipes away the wet strands, simultaneously streaking grime across his forehead with the back of his hand as he does so, that you get a good look at his face. A strong and sharp jawline led up to prominent cheekbones that make you think of some of the most famous statues in history, only they pale when compared to this ethereal beauty found in a car garage of all places.

As he turns his head to close the door behind him, you get a glimpse of an arresting side profile that is dominated by a sloping nose, turned up slightly towards the tip. It’s as he turns back around that you see it sits firmly in the centre of two warm eyes, their shade so unusual that you find yourself staring without meaning to.

Around the outer iris is a rich brown, reminding you of mahogany almost with the reddish tint, which then bleeds into a vibrant hazel in the centre that makes you think of a wolf.

You’ve never been able to see someone’s eye colour so clearly before, particularly with dark coloured eyes but here he is with eyes that demand attention. He has gentle eyes, you decide, gentle and soft but more than a little wary despite the bright smile that takes over his face at the sight of a potential customer.

Reaching out towards you, he offers his hand in greeting. “Hello, sorry about that, music makes it easier to work. I’m Jung Hoseok, I own this place and I’m also the head mechanic. Do you need some work doing on your car?”

Taking his hand, your gaze is brought down to his arms and you can see immediately why he’s so wary despite his welcoming grin and effervescent personality.

His arms are currently bare, the skin almost glimmering with a thin sheen of sweat and veins prominent amongst muscles that speak of hard work and effort. But along his right arm is a prominent scar, pale against the darkened gold of his tanned skin, the shape of which indicates to you it was caused by fire or at the very least something very hot.

His hands and various points of his left arm also feature various scarring, and along the left side of his face from his cheekbone down to his throat is rough tissue that has long since healed. While he gives no indication of acknowledgement about the scars except for the hand he’s not holding out fisting slightly, it’s the hesitance in his kind eyes that gives away that he’s likely been treated badly because of this before.

Pulling your eyes quickly from his arms, you flush lightly with embarrassment and can’t help but wince in shame at being caught staring by him as you turn your attention to the counter between the two of you. You haven’t even said hello to the guy and you’re being unbelievably rude and insensitive.

“Oh er, yeah I think…maybe yeah. It’s been making this…rattling noise lately and I was just passing by and saw the sign and thought…maybe I should get it checked.” He’s let go of your hand now, crossing his arms over his chest in what you feel is protection but accidentally drags your eyes to the bulge of his biceps.

Christ, you’re here on the hunt for a story not to eye-fuck the, admittedly insanely attractive, mechanic.

Biting his lip between his teeth as his eyes run over the ceiling in concentration, he releases it slowly with a sigh that leaves you staring at the now wet, soft skin. You’re pulled away from the sheer distraction that was the pure visuals of this guy when he pulls out a phone from his pocket and lays it on the desk just below the counter.

Any sight to his phone is lost as he does so and you don’t give it much more thought, figuring he’s probably checking out some information. That is until you hear a soft chime and suddenly the air in between the two of you is displaying what looks to be a calendar for the day with various time slots filled in.

For him, the image is perfect but you’re seeing a mirrored version, meaning all the text is backwards. With a casual confidence that lets you know he’s more than well versed in this, totally brand new not even out on the market yet as Vulcan was still hyping it up, technology, he uses two fingers to move around some of the times as he re-organises his schedule.

“Okay, I can take a look now for you if you’d like? I don’t know if I’ll find anything but it can’t hurt to look.” With his entire hand flat, he swipes downwards in a fluid motion and the holograms disappear with another gentle chime.

He’s looking at you expectantly, his mesmeric face of perfect proportions open and honest, while you’re stuck staring at where his phone is. Leaning forward, you catch a glimpse of the sleek, black device and to you, it looks exactly like the newest phone Vulcan has released, the VU8.

“Oh my god, isn’t that the new hologram tech from Vulcan? How have you…how did you? Holy shit that was so fucking cool!” You blurt out, internally cringing immediately at how you just sound like a fangirl of 12 instead of a journalist of 29.

Hoseok flushes lightly, his tanned skin being brushed with soft pink before he ducks his head and pockets the phone quickly. “Ah, yeah. It is. I fix a lot of the cars for their stock fleet and they asked me to test one out ages ago. It’s pretty useful.”

His voice trails off and it’s patently clear that he’s uncomfortable about the conversation. You tamper down your excitement when you figure that it’s because he’s currently holding tech that no one else in the world has commercially yet.

As you hand him your car keys and watch him leave, totally not admiring the flex of his thighs as he crouches next to your car, that was old 20 years ago, to give it a quick look over and most definitely not letting out a little groan when he bends over the engine which allows his jeans to mould perfectly to his ass, you wonder what makes this mechanics garage so important.

Not only do they have the exclusive contract to fixing all of the cars that Vulcan own on the West Coast, but also the owner is deemed important enough that he gets access to one of the most impressive feats of technology realised in the last few years? No, there’s something going on here and you’re going to figure it out. The eye candy outside is just a bonus.

Tugging your eyes from his physique, you run them along the waiting room one more time. It looks perfectly normal, perhaps a little too clean for a car garage but there’s nothing that screams why he’s so important.

In fact, after wandering around a little and giving everything a much more closer perusal, including the files that you can see from your position, you realise that there is zero reference to anything from Vulcan Industries here.

The glass door opening causes you to jump away from the counter, hands flying behind your back in what you’re 100% positive is not a suspicious manoeuvre, as Hoseok makes his way inside. Thankfully he wasn’t paying attention as he was more focused on wiping away some sweat off his brow; the sun was brutal today.

Pointing behind him, his face twists in apology. “I’m really sorry, I could only do a quick visual scan and see what the engine sounds like. I couldn’t hear anything but I don’t have time to take a closer look at the moment as I have a car up in the garage that’s going to be collected in an hour.”

Your hands are immediately gesturing out towards him in a placating manner while your own expression mirrors his apologetic one.

“No, no it’s totally fine. It might just be something in the back rattling around, it hasn’t killed me yet right?” Giving a nervous giggle, you wonder desperately how you’re supposed to find out more information about this place if you don’t have an excuse to hang around more.

“No way, I can’t let you drive that if you’re hearing noises from it. If something happened to you now because of it then I’d feel like it was my fault for being lazy. If it’s okay with you, you can leave it here overnight and I’ll give it a closer look at the end of the day? Should be ready tomorrow morning for you?” Well, it looks like Hoseok has given you the excuse you needed. Maybe there’s a god of journalism looking out for you or something.

“Really? You’d do that? I mean I can pay extra if you want if it’s out of your normal work time.” Reaching into your bag, you rummage around for your wayward purse, ready to pull out the credit card. Immediately Hoseok is rushing over, a gentle hand pushing the purse back into your bag and you’re swallowing thickly at how close he is.

If he was beautiful from afar, then he’s a vision sent from the heavens up close. He stands a whole head taller than you, which leaves you staring at his broad, toned chest until you’re shyly lifting your head to look into his unique eyes. If he wanted to, he could rest his chin neatly on your head.

There’s a moment of silence between the two of you, the distance so minimal that you can feel his breathe on your skin with every exhale and smell the mint of the gum he’d been chewing, until he suddenly seems to realise your positions when he catches your eyes flickering over his face.

He moves a few steps back quickly, turning his face from you. You think he was embarrassed because of how close you were, but it’s only as he brings up a hand to cover his cheek that you realise he’s mistaken your appreciation for his exquisite face for ogling of his scars.

It makes you want to reach out in turn and gently pull his hand down, but you make no move. He’s obviously not comfortable with it and you don’t want to bring attention to something when his body is literally radiating tension right now.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to pay anything extra. Just knowing you’re not going to potentially die is more than enough.” His words, slightly mumbled through his hand, bring a warmth to your stomach that takes a moment to fight with the guilt of knowing you’re going to investigate and potentially use this sweet and helpful guy.

“Okay, if you’re sure about this? I saw a motel a little up the road so I’ll go check if they have vacancies. Do you need my number to contact me?” While you’re fully aware that he would need your number for work purposes, there’s an embarrassingly large part of you that is hoping he might use it for other purposes too.

Scolding yourself internally, you try to shake yourself out of it. You can’t be hoping that this incredibly attractive yet sweet guy might get bored and want a booty call or something. Particularly not while you’re also intending to look closer into him. Ethics, remember the ethics.

It’s much easier to remember ethics when they don’t look like a god come to life.

Still, it’s hard to follow that line of thought when a look of such worry crosses over his face. “A motel? You’re not from round here? Oh I feel terrible, send me the bill and I’ll pay it. It’s my fault that I’m making you stay a night.”

He’s scurrying behind the counter and you hear the sounds of stuff being moved around, before he’s suddenly lifting up a business card with a grin that tells you he’s currently yelling ‘A-HA!’ in his head. Turning to you, he holds it out and once you’ve got hold of it, he’s tapping the surface.

Looking down at the card, you see that it’s pure white with the black and red logo of a volcano taking centre stage. Below that is the name of the garage, Vesuvius Mechanics, in elegant script. Underneath all this is his name, Jung Hoseok, along with a mobile number.

“Tell Manny at the desk at the motel to bill it to me, show him this and he’ll understand. Oh err, can you write your number down for me? I’ll contact you tomorrow once it’s done. I swear I’ll try and do it fast.” Placing his card slowly into the card section in your purse, you can’t help but give him a smile.

You’re half expecting him to offer his spare room with how much he’s going out of his way, and it makes the mystery of why one of the richest and most influential companies in the world goes to this affable mechanic who you feel would give the shirt of his back if you asked.

Or at least find you a clean shirt that wasn’t covered in sweat and stains.

“It’s okay Hoseok, honestly. I’m going to be in town for a few weeks anyway for my job. I’m a writer and I’m looking for some inspiration to break my block so, I’d be paying for the motel anyway.” He pauses at that, hand reaching behind his neck to rub it awkwardly.

“Oh, well maybe you should try renting somewhere instead? The motel is great for one night but it gets pretty expensive you know. I can give you a list of people who would be willing to rent if you want. It’s a small community here but everyone’s happy to help if they can.” If they’re all like Jung Hoseok then you fully believe him.

“Okay, I’ll look tonight. Thanks for your help, and I’m sorry if it turns out there is nothing wrong it and I’ve wasted your time.” You start heading back to the door, strangely unwilling to leave the magnetic pull of him but fully aware you need to otherwise it’s going to start getting weird.

Leaning a hip against the counter, Hoseok gives another heart stopping grin to you as he lifts a hand in goodbye. “It’s fine, honest. I’m a mechanic; it’s kind of my job right?”

Laughing, you nod your head in agreement and wave goodbye to him as well. Outside of the air-conditioned glory of the waiting room, the sun immediately begins to make you sweat from the oppressive heat that beats down and you let out a deep breath slowly, rolling your neck and shaking your shoulders.

It’s only when you’re dragging your suitcase down the road to the motel, mentally cursing the fact that today had decided to feel like the inside of a volcano, when you suddenly realise you’re still smiling. Glancing back at the unobtrusive garage, the white walls gleaming in the sunlight, you tell yourself that it’s because you’re managed to finally get a break in your investigation and that the feeling in your stomach is because you’re onto something.

It has nothing to do with the incredibly sweet man with the body physique of an Adonis, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he’d spent the entire conversation with oil streaked over his cheek like a kid. No, it didn’t.

The motel had been adequate, quite possibly everything one might expect a motel to be. Unsurprisingly, it had been mostly empty and you’d even been able to pick your room. Given the choice of car park or car park, you weren’t sure why they bothered.

It had taken exactly ten minutes for you to realise you would be taking Hoseok up on his offer of helping you to rent a room somewhere.

You’d been half convinced that sleeping on the floor would have been more forgiving on your back than the rock that was masquerading as a bed. Not to mention the Wi-Fi that had been so poor it had taken 5 minutes to load up one page. No, this simply wouldn’t work, and for a small motel in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere California, the price of a room was extortionate.

Which was why you found yourself walking back over to the garage in the morning, after taking a quick detour at the little family run café, which had the best bacon and perfectly seasoned eggs you’d ever eaten in your life. The early morning sun was still warm, but there was a cool breeze that was flowing down from the far off mountain range.

Lifting your head up to the gentle rays of sun, you paused for a moment before inhaling deeply. As someone who had lived in a city your entire life, the crisp and clean smell of the countryside felt both refreshing and revitalising. You loved the city, but the hustle and bustle could be too much sometimes and you fully understood why people would give that up to come somewhere like this.

This was the kind of place that you could imagine people raising families in on those homey television shows, sending their kids to sports games and just living the suburban dream or something. Part of that made you shrink in horror at the sameness of everything but then another part of you wondered whether it would be nice to grow up here.

The relative normalness of this tiny town, with its two main streets and family run stores made it even stranger as to why one of the biggest and most influential companies in the world chose to send their cars here. In towns like this, you could almost forget that cities exist at all.

Opening your eyes, you let a little smile at the bright blue sky before taking in the garage in front of you. The big door that led into the actual garage itself was up and open as you walked closer, allowing you to see inside the workshop.

It was incredibly clean; with the stone floors swept and only old oil stains that are likely impossible to remove marring it. White walls could be seen on all three sides with metal shelving everywhere, each shelf neatly segmented into boxes that contained certain parts and labelled clearly.

There was no car up on the mechanism today, instead there was a Vulcan car parked in the centre of the garage with its hood up, revealing the complex engine interior that kept the car going. What surprised you though, was the group of teenagers standing in front of the car, peering inside as Hoseok points at something.

“This is where you check the oil okay? Why is it important to check the oil in a car?” He asked, his voice kind but stern. It was only then that you noticed that there was an older woman sat off to the side, her face buried in a magazine and you realised that this must be a class from the local school.

A gangly teenager with dark skin lifted his hand up and Hoseok nodded towards him encouragingly. “If you’re out of oil then it can damage the engine right?” The mechanic grinned and nodded, lifting up the oil stick for them to look at.

“Yes that’s right. Consider the oil in your car like the blood in your veins. If you don’t have enough of it, your body can’t work properly. It’s exactly the same with the oil in a car. So, when you’re checking the oil you want to make sure that your car is turned off and the engine is cold, that’s purely for safety as you could burn yourself otherwise.” He went on to show them the entire inner workings of the engine and how to check for themselves before getting them to check.

You simply watched from just outside the door, feeling slightly creepy and stalker-ish but maintaining to yourself that you were just waiting for him to finish so you could talk to him. He was nice to watch anyway, with a very calming aura that was patient with the teenager’s questions, even when they started making dumb jokes like kids their age do. He just took them with a gentle smile.

Once they were finished, he said goodbye to each one by name before shaking the hand of the older woman who’d finally deigned to involve herself in the situation. “Thank you Mr Jung, we appreciate these visits and it gets the kids out of the classroom which they love you know?” He nodded his head in acknowledgement before coming over to the door to watch them off.

You’d slid to the side as he’d started to come over, part of you hoping that he hadn’t seen you. That hope vanished pretty soon as he stood there, arms crossed and gaze on the group as they made their way to where you assume the high school was. A quick sideways glance told you that the corner of his mouth with lifted in an amused smile. He let the moment carry on a little longer before finally inhaling.

“Did you enjoy the lesson then?” He asked, tone light and innocent with just a hint of mischief involved. Shoulders slumping, you turn to him and shrug slightly, the movement causing the strap of your top to fall over. Pulling it back up, you eye him for a moment.

Hoseok looks almost exactly like yesterday, only not nearly as warm as he’d been. He seems to exude waves of contentment in the early morning sun before he finally turns his intense gaze to you, unique eyes causing a subtle shudder to run through your body.

“I came over to see if my car was done and you were busy, so I just waited. Happened to catch the lesson too.” Watching you for a few moments, he licks his lips before shrugging himself, turning back into the garage and heading over to where your car is parked up.

“Okay, I hope you learnt something then. In case you’re wondering, every year I give the kids who are learning to drive a lesson on the engine of a car to make sure they’re educated and going to be aware of how to take care of a car. A lot of people don’t know anything about their cars except to press the gas and the brake, but cars require far more care than that.” He runs a hand along the hood of your own black car, fingers trailing gentle over the dent that’s been there since you’ve owned it.

“That’s nice of you. You were good with them, for a bunch of teenagers there was surprisingly little push back.” A grin spreads along his face slowly, white teeth becoming visible as his face begins to light up. His tongue pushes into the side of his cheek for a moment before he’s biting his lip.

“They’re good kids and I try to make it interesting. Plus they’re pretty happy at not being in a classroom right?” Silence falls between the two of you, surprisingly not awkward before he’s clearing his throat.

“So, I put your car up last night and checked it over. Do you find when you’re braking that it feels like it’s vibrating more? Or the brakes squeal?” He asks almost casually and for a moment you’re trying to remember what excuse you’d given him yesterday.

“Err yeah they squeal occasionally but, don’t all brakes do that? Mine’s always done that.” You’re not entirely sure why he’s asking this, but you’d be the first person to admit that you know nothing about cars. You just get in yours and start driving, and given that you live in a city you don’t drive very often.

Hoseok is quiet for a moment before looking at you incredulously, his eyebrow raised high. “No, brakes most definitely do not squeal all the time. Your brake pads are almost worn through, that’s very dangerous. They could wear through completely and then you’re at risk of not braking, which can lead to accidents obviously. Your car is too old to have warning sensors so it’s no surprise you didn’t know though.”

For a moment you’re standing there in confusion. You’d made up the issue on your car but it turns out that there actually is one? This is like that time that you pretended to have an illness in high school only it turns out when your mom took you to the doctors, you actually had a chest infection.

“Wait there’s something actually wrong with it? Like genuinely wrong?” Your shocked tone causes him to raise his other eyebrow before squinting at you suspiciously.

“Yeah there is, and it needs to get fixed. Unfortunately, I don’t have any free slots until two days from now. I’m getting a bunch of cars in that have priority. I’m really sorry.” He holds his hands up in apology, expression open and remorseful.

“Oh, okay well, that’s fine. I mean I need to be in town anyway right so I guess I don’t need my car? I was coming over to ask about those rooms you know are for rent as well. The motel is okay for a few nights but I don’t think I want to stay longer you know?” You’re smiling at him shyly suddenly, pushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear before realising you’re acting like the teenagers he was teaching.

He doesn’t seem to notice though as he immediately springs into action, heading over to a worktable pushed up against the side of the garage that is piled high with papers, binders and more. If the waiting room is clean and tidy, then his desk is just a concentrated pile of mess.

Hoseok grabs his phone from under a stack of papers and walks back over, his stride long and loping with the confidence of a man who is comfortable in his own skin. At odds with how he reacts sometimes. Fingers flying across the screen, your own phone soon starts to ping in your bag causing you to pull it out.

A message from an unknown number pop up on your screen and it doesn’t take a genius to work out its Hoseok. Opening the message up, you see a bunch of names and numbers pop up.

It’s only a few seconds later that you register surprise at the fact he’s apparently saved your number, but maybe he saves all his clients numbers for quick communication in the future. Or maybe it’s some fancy Vulcan tech.

“Give these a call and tell them that I’ve recommended you. Someone should have a room available, maybe even an apartment, as the rent is pretty cheap here. If you need a ride then let me know as some of them are on the other side of town and I can take you after I close the garage tonight if you’d like?” He gives an encouraging smile and you find yourself smiling back, saving his number in your phone just under his name.

You’ve never seen someone so selfless and giving to someone he doesn’t even know, making you wonder if maybe Vulcan Industries is perhaps taking this guy for a ride. Maybe they’re going with him because he’s too kind to up the price for a big organisation like them. It kind of makes you annoyed to think that.

“I’ll work on your car as soon as I can, I feel really bad that I don’t have one to give you to use in the meantime.” He looks a little distressed at the thought of you having to walk everywhere or something and it’s unbelievably endearing.

“It’s fine Hoseok, honestly. I’m used to walking places, I’m from the city remember?” You tease him, hand reaching out to push at his arm without even realising. It’s only one you’ve done it that you register what you’ve done and immediately pull your arm back, hoping he didn’t take it the wrong way.

He hasn’t noticed the oddly intimate gesture from you though as he’s too busy chewing his lip and frowning in thought. Glancing back up, his hazel-brown eyes focus on you intently, causing your stomach to flutter.

“Yeah, okay. Just be safe okay? Let me know if you find something quick and need to move your stuff, I’ll help you as it’s my fault.” Biting your own lip to prevent the grin and the argument that you’re going to be here anyway, you nod in acquiescence before moving backwards out of the garage. You have a feeling he’d just argue with you anyway.

“I will do, I swear. Thank you for working on my car, let me know when it’s done and I’ll be back to pay okay?” He watches you quietly before nodding. Any communication between you two is suddenly stopped the loud screeching of a truck coming to a stop outside and you look out to see a car carrier, loaded up with Vulcan cars in various states of disrepair.

“Looks like your next two days of work is here so, I’ll leave you to it. Thank you for your help Hoseok, I appreciate it.” Waving at him, he gives a wave in response before his attention turns to the cars, eyes already scanning over them to assess what’s wrong. You can’t help but smile at him, though when your own eyes track over to the Vulcan carrier your forehead falls into a frown.

What was it about this endearing mechanic that had roped him into the world of Vulcan?

The first three numbers on Hoseok’s list had been a bust with all of them reporting that their rooms were either not available for short term leasing or had already been rented out. It was on the fourth number that you finally hit gold, leading to you walking around the tiny apartment that was situated in a squat building smack in the middle of town.

It was small and plain, but clean, with white washed walls throughout. Honestly, it was probably slightly larger than your own place back in the city, and the rent was a third of your city apartment.

A little kitchenette, there wasn’t enough of it to warrant a real kitchen, took up the area to the left with a section of counters reaching out from the wall to provide a little separation.

Facing away from this was a small, cosy grey couch with a large flat screen television in front of this, on top of a glass table. To the back of the room was a window that looked out onto the main street, not the most exciting views but you could see snow topped mountains rising in the far distance which made it better.

The bedroom was in the room directly to your left as you entered, the door open to reveal just enough space to fit a double bed. To your right was the small bathroom, complete with shower but no bath. It was perfect for your needs at the moment and June, the older woman Hoseok had recommended, seemed sweet enough.

“This is really nice June, I’d like to rent it but are you okay with me not being sure how long I’d be here?” You’d been upfront about this beforehand, which had immediately got you rejections. And those were only for rooms, not an entire apartment.

“Oh yes that’s fine, this has been sat here for a few months now anyway. This town is nice and all, but it’s not prime location for youngsters. Too far away from the city to be close for most of them, so a lot leave to go to the big colleges around the state or across the country and see the bright lights. Most of them don’t really come back.” She gives a small smile and you get the impression that she has personal experience with this.

“Well, I’m more than happy to take this off your hands for however long I need it. I can transfer you the first rent right now if you’d like as a key deposit?” June gives you a gentle smile, reaching forward to lay a hand on your arm and causing your words to still.

“It’s fine, I don’t need a key deposit. We keep things low key around here. You’ve got the recommendation from Jung Hoseok and that’s good enough for me.” At those words, you’re left flushing slightly before shaking your head.

“Well, he doesn’t know me you know? We’ve met exactly twice for a total of like, twenty minutes. So please, it would make me feel better.” She gives a broad grin, eyeing you from top to bottom.

“You’re very similar to him you know? Very giving and not happy to take charity.” Chewing on your lip thoughtfully, you consider arguing with her but decide it’s better not to annoy your landlady so soon. Plus, she seems to like Hoseok and maybe she might know something about him.

“I noticed that too, he’s very nice and helpful. I appreciate it. Has he lived here long?” If he’d been here a while then perhaps he just had a good reputation that had led to his contract with Vulcan.

“Oh he is, he’d give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it. And yes, he’s been here for…oh 15 years now? Yes I think it’s been 15. He turned up when he was 21 and set up shop right there and he’s been there ever since. I don’t know how the town would cope without him.” She has a fond smile on her as she reminisces.

For a moment you’re quiet, contemplating this. He’s been here for a while then, but when you think on it, it makes even less sense. From June’s words, he’s a beloved member of the town which likely means he could get plenty of business just from this. So why take up the contract from a company like Vulcan?

“21 is a young age to set up a garage right? I mean, it looks like a nice place in town and the house behind it is so big, so it can’t have been cheap?” The questions are innocent but they leave an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Hoseok is such a nice guy and you feel guilty intruding into his life like this.

“He was young yes, but he didn’t go to college either as far as I’m aware. He has no family and I believe that he’s independently wealthy I think? You’re better off asking some folk in town for more details on him if you’re interested, I think he invented something as he’s got plenty. Lends out money to people who are in need and never seems to need any himself.” You pause at that, fingers pulling at a thread that’s loose on your shirt.

You want to query further but figure it would start to seem suspicious if you keep asking her about him, though she seems more than happy to spill the beans on the striking, big-hearted mechanic.

After that, you sign the contract with June and head back to the motel, ready to pull your suitcase into town to your new apartment. It’s a good job that you’d had a lot of savings, as you doubted Donghae would be happy paying for an apartment for you. Despite it being the story he wanted.

The time you spend going back and forth allows you to consider the enigma of Jung Hoseok some more. He’s independently wealthy, very wealthy if he’s going around giving loans out to people if they need it and owning both the garage and that huge house. So then why take on the lucrative contract for exclusive rights to Vulcan Industries? He obviously doesn’t need it.

And the fact that he had the money to buy his garage, get it all fully kitted out and start up at only 21? Even in a small town like this that would have to take some serious capital.

June’s comment about him inventing something stuck in your mind, making you wonder if perhaps he had worked at Vulcan beforehand or interned there. Maybe he made something that Vulcan paid him for, allowing him to live happily in this little town.

There’s something connected here and you feel frustrated that you can’t see it, leading to what must be an attractive scowl on your forehead. In fact, you’re so deep in thought that you fail to notice that you’re passing his garage or the deep voice calling out your name until suddenly you see two scuffed, black boots in your vision.

Looking up, you’re surprised to see Hoseok standing there with raised eyebrows and his tanned face a picture of pleasure. One corner of his lips is lifted in a tiny smirk before he straightens it out.

“Oh Hoseok, I’m so sorry I didn’t see you.” You apologise profusely, hand coming up to your throat in an unconscious manner. Hoseok’s pearly teeth peek through as he laughs lightly, bringing up a hand streaked in black from working in engines to run through his dark hair, shining red in the sun. What doesn’t stick together falls back forward; framing his elegant face slightly while the oil gives it some unintended volume.

“Yeah, I figured after you didn’t respond to my fourth call. Did you find somewhere?” He asks, pointing down towards your suitcase. Glancing down, you look at the black fabric blankly for a moment before nodding.

“Yeah I did, with June Settler. It’s a nice little apartment in the middle of town. I think it’ll work out.” Hoseok grins broadly, happiness practically radiating out of him and the bright midday sun gives his golden skin a glow, as if a fire you can’t see lights him from within.

“That’s great! I can take you if you want? Save you walking in the hot sun?” Hands playing with the towel that was on his shoulder before he gives a nervous smile and it emboldens you a little.

“I’d really appreciate that. Would you like to grab lunch too? I’m assuming you’re ready for something to eat right?” He pauses for a second, mouth opening slowly as his eyes widen. His movements are slow, the rigid column of his throat working as he swallows before his eyes are flickering back at you before skittering away.

“Really? You want to go to lunch?” His voice, normally bright and enthusiastic is suddenly shy and quiet, causing you to frown. Surely the guy is aware of how attractive he is, even if you’re not actually asking him on a date? It’s only when he brushes a hand against his scarred cheek that you realise once again.

“Yes I would like to. I know exactly two people in this town and one of them is a middle-aged woman who’s my landlady. She’s sweet but I don’t feel we run in the same circles if you get me?” Hoseok eyes you for a moment, brow creasing in confusion before gesturing for you to follow him.

His attire for today is similar to yesterday’s, with denim jeans that are splashed with spots of oil hugging his legs only today he’s got an old black band t-shirt with a Metallica print on it. It suits him, with the cut making his shoulder seems larger and his waist narrower.

“I’m not too sure we run in the same circles either if I’m being honest? I mean, I’m a 36-year-old mechanic and you’re a writer who’s what? 23?” He queries, eyebrow raised as he opens the door to a Vulcan Hammer, a huge black pick-up truck that’s as pristine on the outside as it is on the inside. You’d expect nothing less from him though, given what his garage looks like.

“Writer? Yes. 23? I wish. I’m 29 and feeling older every day I swear.” For a moment you forget yourself, groaning loudly as your head falls back against the seat, suitcase in the back. Hoseok looks over at you, face lit up with a pretty smile and you can feel his eyes drag over you.

“Wow, you do not look 29. And I get what you mean about feeling older, I swear more of my joints crack every day.” As if to prove his point, he reaches out and shifts the car into gear, his elbow cracking as he does so. You giggle softly at it as he shakes his arm, the muscles in his bicep flexing enticingly each time.

The short drive to your new apartment is filled with small talk, both of you feeling out the other conversation wise and trying to establish what is okay and isn’t okay to talk about. While he’s always willing to give a hand and help, you discover that he also knows when to step back and let you do things on your own as he waits in the car for you to finish moving your stuff.

Once done, he drives to the other side of town to a small Italian restaurant that he swears has the best food outside of Italy. You’re not entirely sure whether to believe him, given that this is the only Italian restaurant in town so there’s not much choice.

Still, it’s a charming little place with soft lighting and irresistible aromas. It’s not even 1pm but the place is already half full, though it doesn’t surprise you given how tiny the restaurant is. Even Hoseok has to bashfully admit that there aren’t many restaurants here, so they tend to fill quickly.

An older woman with dark hair pulled tight into a ponytail comes across and gives you both plastic covered menus, but you’re too amused with the obvious flirting she’s doing with the handsome man opposite you to take a look at the food. He engages with it graciously, taking her flirtatious comments with an ease he’s lacked with you before turning his gaze back to your own and smiling amiably once she goes.

“That’s Mariella, she’s the daughter of the owner of this place,” He leans forward suddenly, picture perfect face suddenly inches from your own and his unbelievably beautiful eyes so close you can swear you can see individual strands of colour. “I think she has a thing for me.”

You laugh loudly, hand moving to cover your mouth as you nod your head slowly. “Hoseok, my newest friend, she most definitely has a thing for you. But I don’t think she��s interested in actually pursuing.”

Lifting up his menu, he grins broadly before sending over a wink. “Oh I know, she’s been doing it for 13 years now. We’re just not fated to be unfortunately.”

He buries his head into his menu after that, soft noises of contemplation coming from him unbidden and for a moment you watch him as he concentrates. Tiny lines bisect between his eyebrows and his mouth moves silently as he reads, causing a little smile to spread over your face. He’s cute.

The waitress comes back with a jug of iced lemon water, filling both your glasses and taking your menus once she’s taken your order. Hoseok picks the spaghetti carbonara while you opt for the tagliatelle with bacon and mushrooms with a side dish of garlic bread for the both of you.

There’s an awkward silence that falls between the two of you once the waitress leaves again and you’re no longer preoccupied with menus. Within even realising it, you both take a sip of water to try and hide the awkwardness at the same time. Eyes darting around the restaurant, they eventually come to rest on Hoseok, who is sat staring determinedly at his hands, which are twisting nervously.

This close, you can see the grime that has absorbed into his skin so deeply he’ll likely never get rid of it unless he stops working on cars for years. The outline of his nails is surrounded in black with the palm of his hand looking tough and as you watch, he rubs them together self-consciously.

“It’s hard to keep them clean in my job, if my hands are clean then I’m doing something wrong.” He gives a little apologetic laugh, causing you to smile at his shy demeanour. You barely know the man, yet you’ve never met anyone as confusing as him. One moment he’s timid and apologising for himself over the smallest thing and withdrawing from contact whereas the next he’s bold and flirting with a middle aged waitress.

You get the feeling that he has moments of confidence that soon whither away around people, as even with Mariella or the teenagers he’d looked to be holding part of himself away. As if he was afraid to fully let someone see the true side of him. But you didn’t know him nearly enough to know if this was true and you didn’t particularly want to psychoanalyse him when you’d barely talked to him.

“So…why’d you come here? It’s not exactly the most happening place in California, as beautiful as it is.” Hoseok asks, eyes flickering up to meet yours before skittering away at the direct contact. The amused, confident man of this morning has vanished and you find it kind of charming.

“I’m…researching something for what I’m writing and my queries led me to here. It seems nice though so far; the people are unbelievably friendly. All two I’ve met.” Hoseok grins at that. “But it seems pretty relaxing and the air is so much fresher here. Maybe I’ll get to finish what I write and feel better when I go back?” You muse, almost to yourself as you look out the window.

You’ve told him the truth, with just a little extra truth omitted from him. This place really was beautiful and soothing, and maybe you would complete your article and go back to the city and your job feeling better than ever. Hoseok humming to himself quietly brings your attention back to him, watching as his black hair falls forward into his face again.

“It is nice. Peaceful.” Looking at you, his lips break out into an innocent smile that lights his whole face up. In the dimness that makes up the inside of the restaurant, his bold, unique eyes seem to look even brighter than usual which you know is unusual. You feel slightly ridiculous, as you never normally obsess over people’s eyes like you are his.

But you’ve never seen anyone with eyes as captivating or as exceptional as his either.

“What about you? Err, June told me that you moved here when you were 21 right? Seems pretty young.” Tongue running over his teeth; he lets out a breathy laugh before shaking his head.

“Ah June, she does like to talk. Why are you implying I’m too old now?” The grin on his face lets you know that he’s teasing you. “Yeah I moved here young. Yosemite is close by and I just love volcanoes you know?” At that you’re staring at him with a frown before he’s suddenly laughing loudly, hands clapping at the sight of your face.

“I’m kidding! I just like my solitude and this place seemed calm, when I first visited it was like it pacified my soul as ridiculous and silly as that sounds. I like it here, everyone knows everyone but at the same time they’re all respectful of my privacy and my personal life. No one asks questions here.” His tone turns slightly bitter at the end and his words cause your stomach to roil with guilt.

The poor guy moved all the way out here to get away from questions and people, yet here you were, intending to pick his life apart to find out that connection to Vulcan and hopefully find the trail of the elusive CEO.

“You say that, but June was pretty eager to tell me things about you.” Another sip of your water reveals that the glass is already half empty, with the ice melting rapidly due to the warmth that is strong even inside. Hoseok snorts lightly.

“June just wants to set me up with someone. She’s never seen me dating and I think she feels sorry for me and like I can’t get my own dates. Though in fairness it’s normally her sending pretty boys and girls to me, not the other way around.” Your cheeks flush rose at being called pretty by this handsome man and you start tearing your napkin apart to distract yourself.

“So no girlfriend then?” Your question is innocent but immediately you can’t help but cringe, causing him to laugh at the brazen line. Of course you’d say something stupid like that and make this even more awkward, but Hoseok is a gentlemen and doesn’t make it worse.

“No, no girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Or wife. Or husband. Not even a dog. I am married to my job. I don’t know if you can’t tell but, I don’t really get along with people all that well.” Now it’s his turn to start tearing at his napkin, causing you to frown.

“You’re kidding right? You were amazing with those kids and June obviously loves you. Along with that, you have a whole contacts list of people willing to help you out, the motel guy gushed about how nice you are which makes me think he has a crush, and you’ve been nothing but helpful and sweet to me.” His cheeks are burning bright red at this point, a shy smile causing his lips to twitch as he cocks his head slightly.

“No, no. I mean, well. No. Helping people is easy, like I don’t have to think about it. But like, friend wise? Or romance wise? I don’t really know what to do; I’ve always been a loner so I don’t have very good people skills. Or maybe that should be intimacy skills? Either way, I don’t get how people work up close.” He sounds embarrassed, causing you to instantly feel sympathy for him.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. There’s lots of people out there that can’t do intimacy, you just have to try I guess? If it’s really not for you, then you find someone who is okay with that. If that doesn’t interest you, then you stay alone if you feel happier.” You’re not entirely sure if Hoseok expected to have a lesson in inter-personal relationships when he agreed to lunch but here he is, getting one anyway.

As if he read your mind, he gives a soft laugh before looking up at you with an adorable smile. “This is not what I expected our first proper conversation to consist of you know? I feel like I’m on Dr Phil or something.” Nodding, you give an apologetic smile of your own.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go all weird and philosophical there. I’m sorry. Let’s talk about something way more normal yeah?” There’s a moment of silence from Hoseok before he nods his head, biting his lip as he watches you.

The conversation changes pace to something much more neutral, which turns out to be a lot about your life and going to college. He tells you that he never went and had no interest in going, instead preferring to work with his hands from the get go.

It’s only while eating your lunch, which you have to agree with Hoseok is truly delicious, that you find out that he not only fixes cars for a living, but apparently also enjoys metalworking. He only says this when you ask what he does in his free time, to which he chuckles and notes he doesn’t like free time as he doesn’t like being idle.

“I think I’ve re-done my house about 3 times in 5 years because I just hate having nothing to do. But I also do metalworking which is fun, let’s me unleash my creativity and it’s something I’ve always done.” At your little confused frown, he smiles before pushing a forkful of pasta into his mouth and chewing quickly.

“It covers a lot of things, like you could build a ship or instead you could make jewellery. I like to make anything from things that could be used as household decorations to large sculptures. It helps keep my skills fresh and occupies my mind when I’m making something beautiful come to life.” He gets a wistful look on his face for a moment, overtaking the passion that had filled those striking eyes with a gleam.

Taking a moment to eat some more of your lunch before eventually placing your cutlery down, the food was delicious but far too much, you watch him for a moment as he goes on to eagerly explain some of the metalworking he does.

“It sounds interesting, I mean I don’t really understand half of what you’re saying but you seem to enjoy it. I’d like to see your stuff at some point if I could, I don’t think I’ve ever paid attention to metal sculptures.” At that, Hoseok flushes and his head drops shyly, fingers scratching at his nose.

“Ah, well, yeah…I guess. Maybe.” His self-consciousness causes you to bite your lip in an attempt to stop the smile, lifting a hand to bring the waitresses attention and save him from discomfiture. For a moment you both fight over the bill, Hoseok wanting to pay for the both of you to be a gentleman before you point out that you’re the one who invited him to lunch.

He relents pretty quickly though, evidently not wanting to kick up too much of a fuss. The short drive to your new apartment ends just as quickly, with classic rock playing through the Bluetooth connection from his super high-tech phone.

After convincing him that you’re fine walking to your place without him, you start to head towards what is possibly the smallest apartment block you’ve ever seen in your life. A loud call of your name causes you to turn around though.

The sight of Hoseok with his window down, strong and lean arm resting on the edge while a set of black Ray-Ban style glasses perch on his nose and his hair parted on his forehead causes you to feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach.

He gives a quick grin, lips lifting up to brighten what little of his face you can see and causing your abused stomach to turn over on itself. Did he really not realise how beautiful he was?

“Feel free to call if you want, or text or something. I know you don’t really know anyone here but I can introduce you to some people. Or we could hang out, I guess. If you want. Work on those people skills I guess? Which I really need as I just ‘I guess’ twice.” His boldness dissipates quickly, resulting in him almost mumbling the words out by the end and causing you to smile at him.

“I’d like that Hoseok, I’ll let you know okay?” He’s dumbfounded for a moment, as if he’d expected you to reject his awkward proposition before an excited smile of his own spreads over his face, looking more like it belongs on the face of a teenager asking out his first crush.

“That’s great! Yeah, totally, I mean…message whenever. Well, I’m not free till 8pm but I’ll answer if I have time you know? You can text whenever but if you wanted to call then after 8 works best okay? That works best for me. Wait I just said that. But…I guess…if that’s not good for you then call anyway and I might be able to answer?” A giggle from you causes him to stop and rub his forehead with a grimace.

“Sorry. Bad people skills remember? Just…do what you want. And please, call me Hobi.” He gives another heart stopping smile, tinged with embarrassment before giving a little wave and moving off before you can respond.

You watch his huge car drive off before leaning back against the wall and shaking your head. He was truly a mystery that you desperately wanted to dig into and unwrap; only you weren’t entirely sure anymore if it was for the investigation or for yourself.

A/N: Okay this was supposed to be a one shot but it’s 12k and it’s not even halfway done. I didn’t want it to end up like 30k or something and people not be able to read so...there will be a second part! Hopefully this wasn’t boring ;-;

Hephaestus Hobi is a genuine sweetheart and I love him so I hope you all love him too! I’d love to hear your thoughts on what’s going to happen!

#armiesnet #btssunshinenet #btscreatorsnet #kkreationsnet #j hope angst #hoseok angst #bts angst #hoseok fanfic #hoseok one shot #j hope fanfic #j hope one shot #bts fanfic #bts one shot #j hope fluff #hoseok fluff #bts fluff

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kashuan · 7 years ago

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Slightly random question: any thoughts on redemption in the Atreides? Basically everyone (besides Iphigenia?) does something at least somewhat morally reprehensible and has to deal with consequences, but I think this is the first story I've read where no one gets magical redemption? Even Orestes' acquittal is more of a "you did bad but your mom did worse" judgment. Fiction has a habit of trying to redeem bad-ish characters through death or shrugging. Any thoughts on how the Atreides fare? Thanks

Hey! Sorry my answer is a little late…I’ve been thinking about this one a lot! Can’t say my answer is at all the right one, since it kind of involves looking at cultural tendencies and that isn’t my specialty, but here’s at least some of my thoughts:IMO, you don’t really see redemption plots in general in greek mythology (though if anyone knows some good examples please leave a comment! I’m interested to hear.). A possible reason for this is that redemption typically entails a ‘bad’ character becoming a ‘good’ character. The way we as a modern audience categorize characters– hero, villain, etc– doesn’t apply the same way to ancient fiction. A hero in greek mythology is someone who is still allowed to have considerable moral gray area, as the classification is based more on their physical traits than their personality. So in general, this makes me wonder if an ancient audience just wouldn’t see the need for their characters to be ‘redeemed’ if they weren’t examining them through the same moral lens as we are. Take a character like Odysseus… he does tons of horrible things during the war, but doesn’t need go through any redemption arc to get his eventual good ending (I mean, he has to face several trials in the Odyssey, but that’s not really a transformation of his core character which I associate with redemption.)

Getting back to Atreides specifically… I think modern audiences are more inclined to look at Agamemnon as a ‘bad’ or even villainous character than an ancient one would have been. You have to remember he already has a sort of plot arc of learning his lesson within the Iliad itself, going from the man who makes a great mistake in book 1 which leads to a lot of unnecessary deaths, but then later is also given scenes like his aristeia, which is by definition is something shown in a heroic light, and he makes amends with Achilles by the end of the Iliad. If you look at the Iliad by itself, you could even say call that a sort of mini redemption arc I suppose since it does involve some character development from ‘bad’ to ‘good’ (initial bad impression, doubles down on the bad decisions, but eventually admits he was wrong, changes his actions, proves himself a better commander, etc). On a broader scale, also remember that Agamemnon was considered a hero by ancient standards to the point he had a cultic epithet associated with Zeus. So all in all, a redemption arc I don’t think would be seen as necessary for them to still take away good from his character.I suppose you could say Menelaus’ character gets the closest to what we might consider redemption, going from the warlord of the Iliad to the helpful father figure of the Odyssey, but again that isn’t really so much that anything transformative happened to his character as that the context we’re seeing him in changes.Another thought: does a character like Orestes’ actually qualify for something like redemption (ie: is he ever a ‘bad’-ish character to begin with)? Maybe if he had murdered his mother by his own decision, but we see from the beginning that he is considerably reluctant to go through with it, yet is compelled both through the unquestionable order of Apollo as well as his sister Electra. I’m not really sure what the ultimate ancient opinion would have been on him; some characters are shown talking about him negatively, but then for example, Nestor in the Odyssey, while speaking with Telemachus, calls Orestes a good example of courage and strength. and I feel like Orestes himself is typically shown in a sympathetic light? On a broader scale, the house of Atreus is known for being Inescapably Cursed and is typically used as an example for What Not To Do, so of course they’re going to be dealt a worse hand and not be given ‘satisfying’ endings. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯I guess in the end my final take is that a modern audience wants a redemption arc because we are left feeling that the character’s potential for better was wasted. But if an ancient audience didn’t consider the same things to be flaws that we did, this would be a moot point to them. Anyway, these are just some thoughts and guesses of mine. I’d love to hear other people’s input too!

#the iliad #house of atreus

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lelou-quotes · 4 years ago

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In Defense of Being Average

There’s this guy. World-renowned billionaire. Tech genius. Inventor and entrepreneur. Athletic and talented and handsome with a jaw so chiseled it looks like Zeus came down from Olympus and carved the fucker himself.

This guy’s got a small fleet of sports cars, a few yachts, and when he’s not giving millions of dollars to charities, he’s changing out supermodel girlfriends like other people change their socks.

This guy’s smile can melt the damn room. His charm is so thick you can swim in it. Half of his friends were TIME’s “Man of the Year.” And the ones who weren’t don’t care because they could buy the magazine if they wanted to. When this guy isn’t jetsetting around the world or coming up with the latest technological innovation to save the planet, he spends his time helping the weak and helpless and downtrodden.

This man is, you guessed it, Bruce Wayne. Also known as the Batman. And (spoiler alert) he doesn’t actually exist. He is fiction.

It’s an interesting facet of human nature that we seem to have a need to come up with these sort of fictional heroes that embody perfection and everything we wish we could be. Medieval Europe had its tales about gallant knights slaying dragons and saving princesses. Ancient Rome and Greece had their myths about heroes who won wars single-handedly and in some cases confronted the Gods themselves. Every other human culture is replete with such fantastical stories as well.

And today, we have comic book superheroes. Take Superman. I mean, the guy is basically a God with a human body wearing a blue jumpsuit and red underpants on inside-out. He is indestructible and unbeatable. And the only thing as sturdy as his physical fortitude is his moral fortitude. In Superman’s world, justice is always black/white, and Superman never wavers from doing what’s right. No matter what.

I don’t think I’m exactly shaking up the field of psychology by suggesting that, as humans, we have a need to conjure up these heroes to help us cope with our own feelings of powerlessness. There are over 7.2 billion people on this planet, and really only about 1,000 of those have major worldwide influence at any given time. That leaves the other 7,199,999,000 +/- of us to come to terms with the limited scope of our lives and the fact that the vast majority of what we do will likely not matter long after we’ve died. This is not a fun thing to think about or accept.

Today, I want to take a detour from our “make more, buy more, fuck more” culture and argue for the merits of mediocrity, of being blasé boring and average.

Not the merits of pursuing mediocrity, mind you — because we all should try to do the best we possibly can — but rather, the merits of accepting mediocrity when we end up there despite our best efforts.

BEHIND THE CURVE

Everything in life is a trade-off. Some of us are born with high aptitudes for academic learning. Others are born with great physical skills. Others are athletic. Others are artistic. Others can fuck like rabbits and never break a sweat. In terms of skills and talents, humans are a wildly diverse group of smelly creatures. Sure, what we end up accomplishing in life ultimately depends on our practice and effort, but we are all born with different aptitudes and potentials.

This here is called a bell curve. Any of you who have taken a statistics class and survived will recognize it.

A bell curve is quite simple. Take a population of people, like, let’s say people who play golf at least once a year. The horizontal axis represents how good they are at golf. Further to the right means they’re really good, further to the left means they’re really bad.

Now, notice that it gets really thin at the far ends of the curve. That means there are a few people who are really, really good at golf. And a few people who are really, really bad. The majority fall into the mediocre middle.

We can apply a “curve” in this way to tons of things in a population. Height. Weight. Emotional maturity. Wages. How often people like to fuck. And so on.1

For example, this is Michael Jordan dunking a basketball:

It’s well-known that he’s one of the best to ever do it. Therefore, he’s way on the right side of the bell curve, better than 99.99% of anyone else who has ever dunked a basketball. Few can compare.

Then you have this guy:

Obviously, he’s no Michael Jordan. In fact, chances are many people reading this right now could do much better than this guy. That means he’s probably towards the bottom end of the bell curve, an extreme on the other side.

We stand in awe of MJ because he’s more athletic than all of us.2 We laugh at the trampoline guy because he’s less athletic than most of us. Both are at different extremes of the bell curve. And most of us are the majority in the middle.

WE’RE ALL PRETTY AVERAGE AT MOST THINGS

We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. But the fact is, most of us are pretty average at most things we do. Even if you’re truly exceptional at one thing — say math, or jump rope, or making money off the black gun market — chances are you’re pretty average or below average at most other things. That’s just the nature of life. To become truly great at something, you have to dedicate time and energy to it. And because we all have limited time and energy, few of us ever become truly exceptional at more than one thing, if anything at all.

We can then say that it is a complete statistical improbability that any single person can be an extraordinary performer in all areas of their life, or even many areas of their life. Bruce Wayne does not exist. It just doesn’t happen. Brilliant businessmen are often fuck ups in their personal lives. Extraordinary athletes are often shallow and as dumb as a lobotomized rock. Most celebrities are probably just as clueless about life as the people who gawk at them and follow their every move.

We’re all, for the most part, pretty average people. It’s the extremes that get all of the publicity. We all kind of intuitively know this, but we rarely think and/or talk about it. The vast majority of us will never be truly exceptional at, well, anything. And that’s OK.

Which leads to an important point: that mediocrity, as a goal, sucks. But mediocrity, as a result, is OK.

Few of us get this. And fewer of us accept it. Because problems arise — serious, “My God, what’s the point of living” type problems — when we expect to be extraordinary. Or worse, we feel entitled to be extraordinary. When in reality, it’s just not viable or likely. For every Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant, there are 10 million scrubs stumbling around parks playing pickup games… and losing. For every Picasso or DaVinci there have been about a billion drooling idiots eating Play-Doh and slapping around fingerpaints. And for every Leo Motherfucking Tolstoy, there’s a lot of, well, me, scribbling and playing at writer.

THE TYRANNY OF A CULTURE OF EXCEPTIONALISM

So here’s the problem. I would argue that we have this expectation (or this entitlement) more today than any other time in history. And the reason is because of the nature of our technology and economic privilege.

Having the internet, Google, Facebook, YouTube and access to 500+ channels of television is amazing. We have access to more information than any other time in history.

But our attention is limited. There’s no way we can process the tidal waves of information flowing through the internet at any given time. Therefore the only ones that break through and catch our attention are the truly exceptional pieces of information. The 99.999th percentile.

All day, every day, we are flooded with the truly extraordinary. The best of the best. The worst of the worst. The greatest physical feats. The funniest jokes. The most upsetting news. The scariest threats. Non-stop.

Our lives today are filled with information coming from the extremes of the bell curve, because in the media that’s what gets eyeballs and the eyeballs bring dollars. That’s it. Yet the vast majority of life continues to reside in the middle.3

It’s my belief that this flood of extreme information has conditioned us to believe that “exceptional” is the new normal. And since all of us are rarely exceptional, we all feel pretty damn insecure and desperate to feel “exceptional” all the time. So we must compensate. Some of us do this by cooking up get-rich-quick schemes. Others do it by taking off across the world to save starving babies in Africa. Others do it by excelling in school and winning every award. Others do it by shooting up a school. Others do it by trying to have sex with anything that talks and breathes.

There’s this kind of psychological tyranny in our culture today, a sense that we must always be proving that we’re special, unique, exceptional all the time, no matter what, only to have that moment of exceptionalism swept away in the current of all the other human greatness that’s constantly happening.

For instance, here’s a five-minute video of nothing but some of the most amazing feats you can imagine:

The crazy thing is that every single person in this video, for their five seconds of incredible footage, likely spent years and years and years practicing their craft as well as dozens of hours of recording to just get that perfect five-second spot.

Yet we are not exposed to those years of practice. Or those hours of drab and failed footage. We’re merely exposed to each person’s absolute finest moment — possibly in their entire lives.

And then we watch this and forget about it within minutes. Because we’re onto the next thing. And then the next.

B-B-B-BUT, IF I’M NOT GOING TO BE SPECIAL OR EXTRAORDINARY, WHAT’S THE POINT?

It’s an accepted part of our culture today to believe that we are all destined to do something truly extraordinary. Celebrities say it. Business tycoons say it. Politicians say it. Even Oprah says it. Each and every one of us can be extraordinary. We all deserve greatness.

The fact that this statement is inherently contradictory — after all, if everyone was extraordinary, then by definition, no one would be extraordinary — is missed by most people, and instead we eat the message up and ask for more. (More tacos, that is.)

Being “average” has become the new standard of failure. The worst thing you can be is in the middle of the pack, the middle of the bell curve.

The problem is that, statistically speaking, pretty much all of us are in the middle of that bell curve almost all of the time, in almost everything we do. Sure, you might be a world-class putt-putt golfer. But then you have to go home and be a lousy father and get drunk on cheap beer faster than 90% of the population and piss the bed at night. Or worse, you could be Tiger Woods. No one stays exceptional for very long.

A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept being mediocre, then they’ll never achieve anything, never improve, and that their life doesn’t matter.

I find this sort of thinking to be dangerous. Once you accept the premise that a life is only worthwhile if it is truly notable and great, then you basically accept the fact that most of the human population sucks and is worthless. And ethically speaking, that is a really dark place to put yourself.

But most people’s problem with accepting being average is more practical. They worry that, “If I accept that I’m average, then I’ll never achieve anything great. I’ll have no motivation to improve myself or do something great. What if I am one of the rare few?”

This, too, is a misguided belief. The people who become truly exceptional at something do so not because they believe they’re exceptional. On the contrary, they become amazing because they are obsessed with improvement. And that obsession with improvement stems from an unerring belief that they are, in fact, not that great at all. That they are mediocre. That they are average. And that they can be so much better.

This is the great irony about ambition. If you wish to be smarter and more successful than everybody else, you will always feel like a failure. If you wish to be the most loved and most popular, then you will always feel alone. If you wish to be the most powerful and admired, then you will always feel weak and impotent.

All of this “every person can be extraordinary and achieve greatness” stuff is basically just jerking off your ego. It’s shit sold to you to make you feel good for a few minutes and to get you through the week without hanging yourself in your cubicle. It’s a message that tastes good going down, but in reality, is nothing more than empty calories that make you emotionally fat and bloated, the proverbial Big Mac for your heart and your brain.

The ticket to emotional health, like physical health, comes from eating your veggies — that is, through accepting the bland and mundane truths of life: a light salad of “you’re actually pretty average in the grand scheme of things” and some steamed broccoli of “the vast majority of your life will be mediocre.” This will taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid eating it.

But once ingested, your body will wake up feeling more potent and more alive. After all, that constant pressure to always be something amazing, to be the next big thing, will be lifted off your back. The stress and anxiety of feeling inadequate will dissipate. And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish with no judgments and no lofty expectations.

You will have a growing appreciation for life’s basic experiences. You will learn to measure yourself through a new, healthier means: the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about.

Sounds boring, doesn’t it? That’s because these things are average. But maybe they’re average for a reason. Because they are what actually matter.

https://markmanson.net/being-average

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ank-fan · 7 years ago

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The name Iason means Healer do you think there is a meaning behind it or was just a random pick from Rieko Yoshihara?

Thank you so much for the question Anon. I love ranting speculatively about this kind of questions!

I do think there are several reasons why Yoshihara-sensei chose the name “Iason”, still I’m pretty sure that they have little to do with literal, physical healing. Iason is definitely more apt at, and keen on, breaking people rather than healing them. It should also be noted that the name Ιάσων, if derived from the verb ἰάομαι, could also mean (figuratively): to remedy, repair, make whole (or redeem if we take into account Biblical usage). Which is, in my opinion, much more significant to the role Iason ends up playing in the novels.There also is another meaning of ἰάομαι that is: strong, powerful. Thus Iason could be named so because he is objectively very powerful, but this is a very immediate interpretation, that leaves very little room for speculation.

Truth to be told the mythical Ιάσων (whom I will refer to as Jason for clarity) has not much to do with the medical act of healing either, his main “healing power” is about bringing the golden fleece back to Greece and thus grant a proper “burial” to Phrixus and break the curse plaguing Pelias and the city of Iolcus rather than any medical healing. Of course: the golden fleece has incredible healing abilities, but in my opinion, that is not the crux of the myth. The myth is about a purification rite, thus Jason can be perceived as a shaman of sorts leading the rite and, in that optic, his figure was used as a symbol by alchemists, but I will say more about that later in this rant.

A good way to begin this analysis is by listing the more immediate parallels between the mythical Jason and Iason.

Both Iason and Jason are blond, beautiful and the leader of a group of exceptional individuals at the top of their society which they manage to control and lead up to a certain point

Both are exceptional individuals destined for greatness, and both want power for themselves.

Both can be incredibly charming (Iason is deviously so, and Jason, seduction of Medea aside, manages to talk Aeëtes down from his paroxysm of ire and convince the king to grant him the possibility to try and earn the golden fleece, albeit through impossible feats only thanks to his polite conersation)

Both spend some time in disguise (Jason is recognised by Pelias only because he is “the man with one sandal”, and in the novels we see that Iason, when outside of Eos or Riki’s apartment in Apatia, almost always changes the colour of his hair and wears a visor not to be recognised).

Depending on the version of the myth you take into consideration both can be seen as deeply emotionally immature and struggling to form and handle interpersonal relationship because they never were part of a familial unit (Jason is smuggled away as an infant by his mother to be saved from death and raised by Chiron, while Iason is an artificial being who was taught to look down on humanity).

Both manipulate people, and both can be ruthless (Jason, among other things, leaves Heracles behind despite his companions’ protests and abandons Medea, while Iason is pretty much the definition of ruthless).

The might and value of both characters is symbolised by a golden fleece (Iason’s hair and Chrysomallus’ skin).

Both die ignored by their society (Tanagura in the novels is very careful about not saying a single word about the destruction of Dana Bahn and Raoul makes sure to keep Iason’s name out of the whole mess) and in a way that is as pathetic as it is dramatic (Jason is crushed as an old man by the mast of his rotting ship Argo as he is trying to relieve old lost glories, and Iason looses his legs and dies in a rotting old ruin by the action of someone who he saw as infinitely below himself).

Both have the favour of a god-like being that they later loose through their actions (Jupiter for Iason and Hera for Jason, here we start to see an interesting pattern).

And, most importantly, the fate of both is defined by one act of kindness and several horrific ones (even though Jason is usually framed by the narrative as an accomplice in them rather than the main perpetrator).

In the last two similarities, in my opinion, we see a beautiful subversion of the myth and the reason why Jason’s and Iason’s two “acts of healing” are so dramatically different and similar at the same time.Because I do think that both characters are linked to one “healing”, still the object of each healing, its methods, and the reasons behind it are very different. In my opinion is pretty apparent that Yoshihara-sensei took at least some inspiration from the Greco-Roman world while writing Ai no Kusabi. From the title of one novel (Petere, a Latin verb that means “to ask”) to the name of Lambda 300 (Jupiter, like the latin name of Zeus),Apatia, Eos, Kirie, and Tanagura itself (that might be inspired by the old Tanagra), to the whole issue with slavery, oligarchy, and the treatment of strangers. So it makes sense that she would choose the name of the deuteragonist from Greco-Roman tradition too, and with good reasons.

Jason’s one act of kindness, that wins him the favours of Hera, is to help an old lady cross one stream by carrying her. That is how he looses one sandal before entering the usurper’s court and is recognised. Still, unbeknownst to Jason, the old lady is not an old lady at all, but the goddess Hera in disguise who, impressed by the youth’s act of piety that reflects the values she embodies (respect for the family and traditions), decides to favour him from that moment onward, granting him a place in society through her influence.On the other hand Iason’s one act of kindness proves to be his undoing. By choosing to save Guy and sacrifice himself to save Riki Iason is abandoning everything that grants him power and life. He is knowingly leaving behind all the values and precepts he followed for his whole existence. By that action Iason is loosing the last dreg of Jupiter’s favour he still held by rejecting its dictated laws to follow his (new and still very shaky) “ethics”. In that moment he explicitly acknowledges not only Riki’s importance to him, but Riki’s dignity and pride, going as far as endangering himself to protect them. That action, though, is depriving the system and Jupiter of an important instrument, thus it becomes a senseless waste of resources for it, and (if we leave behind all of our ethics and judge that act of kindness purely from Jupiter’s point of view) Iason’s actions in Dana Bahn are actually detrimental for the order and stability of his society. Which could lead to another interesting addendum about how Amoi’s code of morals is twisted to the point that good becomes evil and evil becomes good, but that is a whole other issue that here I do not have space to explore properly.

Here lies the first subversion. Jason’s act of kindness starts his story, it is the first clue we are given of his value, in a way that act saves his life and allows him to pursue his destiny as a hero since it is Hera herself that puts in his mind the idea to suggest Pelias to send him on the quest for the golden fleece.Meanwhile Iason’s act of kindness is the one that closes his story, that leads him to his death and that would, if known, irreparably damage his reputation in the eyes of his society. Iason’s act of kindness makes him loose the “golden fleece”.Thus, while Jason’s act of kindness is what makes him, Iason’s act of kindness is the one that breaks him. Not just that, but while Jason helps the old lady without thinking too much about it, because that course of action is the one that he was raised to perceive as “right, Iason is quite clearly torn about what to do, his act of kindness would have costed him much even if he had not died as a consequence of it. I think the old anime is much better than the books in showing that. Iason sees Riki’s plea to save Guy as the ultimate proof that he has failed in the one thing that (for worse or worse, there isn’t much better in Amoi if we do not consider Norris’ love for his geezer XD) he truly cared for. There is nothing spontaneous in Iason’s actions there.

This is no serene evil cyborg acting spontaneously. He is hurting.Not to mention: this is the most emotional vulnerability we see Iason show in front of anyone ever, let alone Riki whom he purposefully tries to keep guessing about the “true value” he sees in him for fear of loosing control. So, while Jason is torn about his evil deeds and acts kindly without thinking, for Iason the opposite is true.

Jason ends up redeeming a kingdom that he shall never rule because of his evil deeds, he gains the fleece but immediately looses his rights to glory because of the way he escapes Pelias’plan to kill him. In contrast Iason rules a kingdom from the beginning (albeit under Jupiter) precisely because of his evil deeds while his redemption, his act of healing, is private, personal. That has also to do with the fact Amoi is an unescapable dystopia though.Both Iason’s and Jason’s stories are a diminuendo, two downward spirals, but, while Jason is able to redeem his people but not himself, Iason is only able to redeem himself in the end, damaging his society, and his one good action is a suffered one, something he has to force himself to do.

Which leads us directly to what Iason hasn’t to force himself to do, namely: being a horrible person (GlaDOS wasn’t even testing for that! XD).Iason, from the beginning of the novels almost all through them, has no qualms about using and abusing people, which is why Katze is so surprised by the way Riki has managed to change him into someone able to see the reason why Judd Kuger might still love his son despite the fact that Manon is only a nuisance. Here lies the second subversion. In all the versions of Jason’s myth I know of Jason is always shown to have several qualms about Medea’s ruthless plans. Jason is not vicious by nature, Iason, even at his best, is a sadist.

Both Jason and Iason are controlled by forces higher than them that they cannot escape or defy (it is very telling how Iason has to make a whole convoluted plan just to be able to leave for Dana Bahn without alerting his peers and Jupiter), but while Iason is the one moving the pieces on the chessboard, Jason is much more dependant on others. To use a chess metaphor: Jason is the king, Iason is the queen. Jason might be the semi-shamanic guide that leads his peers toward the golden fleece, still most of the heroic acts and plans along the way are made by others. Jason depends on Medea for getting the fleece, escaping Colchis, and surviving Pelias. Jason depends on Orpheus (hi there Orphe Zavi), on Heracles, on all his companions to be frank, for most of his adventures. The one moment Jason is truly alone and desperate is when he dies, having lost all those that might have loved him.On the other hand Iason is incredibly self reliant, he has pawns and a grand total of one friend, but he plays his cards close to the chest; he is very good at working with and in a group, still his plans are his own, he relies on his own strength even when he should not do so. Even when his fellow Blondies have lost respect for him and would gladly trod on his carcass he can still force them to grant him permission to move Riki to Apatia. During his life Iason is almost a monad, despite the wealth of people that would gladly offer him company, still, in the moment when he dies, he is not alone. Iason dies during a deep bonding moment, I think as happy as he ever was, and with the one person he, in his scary twisted and dangerously obsessive way, loved, by his side. Not just that, but Riki comes back of his own accord when he could have walked away free, proving that there was something more than hate and fear that he felt towards Iason.Jason dies desperate trying to relive old glories and leave in search of something, what he doesn’t know himself, while Iason dies happy after having left all of his glory behind (along with a couple of legs), but having gained the one thing he truly wanted. Which could be interpreted as creepy total control, but I do not think it was for several reasons, authorial intent first and foremost.

Another element worth mentioning, in my opinion, is the rite of purification that allows the hero back into society. Jason and Medea go through one right after having escaped the Colchis. In most version of the myth the Argonauts leave in secret since Aeëtes, the king that held the golden fleece and father to Medea, went back on his word once Jason overcame the impossible proves he had set (thanks to Medea) and threatened to kill all the Argonauts. So Jason and Medea stole the fleece and, in the most common version of the myth, Medea also kidnapped her young half-brother. This way, when Aeëtes pursued them, she cut the boy to pieces and threw the pieces overboard, forcing her father to stop and recover the remains of his son in order to give him a proper burial. This act saved the mission, yet was so horribly inconceivable for the Greek sensibilities to force both Jason and Medea to seek purification in Circe’s domain. Circe, Medea’s aunt, purified them allowing the couple to travel back in Greece and re-join the “civilised society”. Still, ultimately, despite Jason’s and Medea’s efforts, they were unable to do so. Partially because of the fact that they committed another awful crime to enter the city of Iolcus, convincing the daughters of Pelias to cut their father to pieces in the hope of rejuvenating him. Thus, what should have been Jason’s triumph turns into him relinquishing all rights on the crown or the fleece and escaping like a disgraced exile with his wife.

This, in my opinion, can be compared with Iason’s attempt at re-normalising the situation after Riki’s year and a half of freedom. Iason tries quite desperately to make Riki fit in his old life, in the Amoian system, going as far as submitting to almost all of Orphe’s rules , but there he ultimately fails, because not only Riki is not a person, or a pet, that can live in Eos, but also because Riki’s presence and influence has changed him to the point of making him unfit for his society. He cannot accept to show Riki, he fights against the house arrest Orphe decrees, he actually cares about Riki’s mental wellbeing (up to a certain point and in his twisted way that doesn’t stop him from abusing Riki, but he does). Besides, soon enough, Riki becomes involved in another crime in Eos, like Jason and Medea did in Corinth. So Iason’s attempt at “cleaning his name” in the eyes of his society fails as much as Jason’s and Medea’s does.

This leads us to two interesting observations.

The first is wether we can read the Jason/Iason parallelism in the light of Seneca’s interpretation of the mythical Jason.Seneca wrote a tragedy about Jason and Medea called “Medea” in which he explored the classical theme of “civilised hero is dragged down by a barbarian woman” under the light of Stoicism. The tragedy is set, like all of the tragedies by the same name, after the exile of Medea and Jason from Iolcus, when they are living in Corinth. There the king offers his daughter in marriage to Jason and the hero, for reasons that vary from tragedy to tragedy, accepts the offer, abandoning his wife Medea to yet another exile and planning to separate her from their two children. As a result Medea, chooses to make him pay and sends his soon to be new wife a dress that burns her alive before killing the children she had with Jason and fleeing Corinth. In Seneca’s tragedy Jason becomes the mouthpiece of stoicism and is a positive character (which is why I much prefer Eurypides’ Medea, where he is a fool). He is forced into the new marriage by political reasons and acts as he does because the wise man endures stoically the hardships that life throws in his path, choosing based on intellect rather than passions, while his wife is the villain, choosing to destroy everything when life denies her what she wants rather than trying to make the best out of it. So there is this dichotomy of passions and rationality.This theme of passions versus reason is present in the Ai no Kusabi novels too, still there the role of Iason is similar yet completely different. Like Seneca’s Jason Iason is a creature of cold rationality at first, faced with a being of irrational passions. Both this Jason and Iason’s attempt at controlling that irrationality ultimately fails, yet they fail in completely different ways. Seneca’s Jason is not conflicted as Iason is. He knows his path, but doesn’t allow himself to suffer too much because of its cruelty, while Iason’s development is exactly about starting to feel something. His path is the exact opposite of the stoic hero’s one, he must learn how to feel, how to let go of the odd, twisted, form of stoicism that his nature and environment imposes upon him. Both Seneca’s Jason and Iason must overcome their nature, but in opposite directions. Jason’s act of healing is to overcome passions and his suffering, while Iason’s act of healing is about accepting, acknowledging that he has a human side able to suffer.

This ties back into the elephant in the room that constitutes the second interesting observation.

Jason’s myth is heavily dpendant on Medea. Is there a Medea in Ank? and, if there is one, who is our dystopian Medea? The most immediate answer would be to say that Medea is Riki. After all both are strangers in a strange place, both are despised for what they are, considered barbarian, savages, both are ruthless and cruel, both are determined, both follow their feelings far more than any logic, both bring forth the demise of Jason/Iason. Still I think that is a false parallelism. Riki is not Medea. Medea is powerful, divine, far more ruthless than Riki ever was, her power is even superior to Jason’s and while she and Riki might fill somehow similar narrative roles, their characters are completely different. Medea is far more divine than Jason, Riki is incredibly human in his virtues and flaws. Riki is not stupid, not by a long shot, still his impulsiveness and ignorance end up thwarting his plans, even the best laid ones, while Medea’s might and knowledge is so great that even her suicidal plan ends with her leaving in triumph on the sun’s chariot. Her very name derives from μῆδος, that means “cunning”. Riki is smart, but he has no chance of being cunning, not faced with a “monster of cunning” like Iason.My pet theory is that Iason is both Jason and Medea. Let’s analyse the possibility: Jason, in his interpretation as the “civilised hero”, the stoic, the “guide”, is Iason’s at the beginning, the dominant side of his personality, what he was moulded into being. All of his actions are carefully planned, he is more than able to use and then throw people away to fit a “greater good”, his master plan. Jason can be, in some interpretations of the myth, seen as some kind of fool manipulated by greater forces and, in some ways Iason is too and, at the beginning, is actually clueless about it, since he is so “indoctrinated” by the system as he can be. To the point that he cannot see how the system could harm him too, since he never felt any desire to go against it in a significant way. Even as he does, to keep Katze alive, he is still operating inside of a strict amoian logic. Keeping Katze alive is a means to an end. Curiosity indeed plays a part, but Iason’s ultimate goal is to benefit his own, and thus Jupiter’s power.

Now let’s analyse Jason’s evil act, the one that looses him Hera’s favour. That act is abandoning Medea, breaking his family to save himself and his legacy in the “civilised” world. This is the complete opposite of what Iason does in the end of AnK. Iason there chooses his obsession for Riki over his own good, over what is socially acceptable. This way Iason makes Medea’s choice rather than Iason’s. To save Jason, to have him succeed, Medea betrays her family and country, so does Iason.Not just that, but Iason’s obsessive, possessive, twisted, brand of love for Riki very closely resembles what Medea feels for Jason. To have him she is willing to use all of her powers, to defy the most sacred laws and, when he wants to abandon her she is willing to destroy him, even if it hurts her in the deepest most intimate way (the killing of her own children). Still there we see a fundamental difference. By the end of book 6, after the one and only time Iason is forced to show Riki at a Bacchanalia, Iason has a very similar, horribly immature, reaction. He takes his frustration with the situation out on Riki, hurting him in quite an awful way. The abusive mechanism is the same “since I have sacrificed so much for you, if I cannot have you as I want, I’d rather destroy you”. Still Iason, unlike Medea, does not go through with it. Which doesn’t make his actions any less horrible, mind you, but shows a fundamental difference and highlights what, in my opinion, is Iason’s private “act of healing” that only comes as he dies: managing to make his Medea and his Jason coexist. Iason’s redemption is to accept his nature as part-human and act accordingly, granting the object of his twisted brand of “love” a choice, to recognise that a feeling, when not mutual, cannot be enforced and, through this, reconcile his rational and his instinctive side. And, this way, reconciling his rational and his irrational sides.

Now, as promised at the beginning, I will explore a bit the “alchemical” symbolic interpretations of Jason.In Rome there is a famous landmark, the “Porta Alchemica”, (alchemical door), which references Jason in two of its incisions and in both cases the meaning given to him and his name was not the one of “healer”, but the one of “the discoverer”. This is aligned with the theories and interpretations of the myth that see the Argonauts voyage as a mythical recounting of the first commercial travels of Greek merchants towards unknown riches and knowledges. The golden fleece there is a symbol of redemption and knowledge rather than healing per se. Its gold is the alchemic gold, the philosopher’s stone able to turn “vile metals” into gold, heal every ailment, and grant eternal life. What I like about Ai no Kusabi is how that search is turned on its head. Iason starts the story by having a high-tech version of the philosopher’s stone/golden fleece. He is immortal, eternally young, has incredible power, he knows more than any other being, yet precisely because of that he is blind to everything he does not understand, he is prejudiced to think that everything “below” himself is unworthy. He frequently refers to Riki as a “gem in the rough”, but ultimately, his path leads him to the conclusion that the “rough” is exactly what makes Riki so appealing to him. He never ceases to want to dominate Riki, that is his nature, still he doesn’t want to “break him” anymore. Only by loosing his “golden fleece” Iason is able to recognise what he ultimately is and wants, and thanks to this realisation, redeem himself and gain one thing of true value.Iason, at the beginning, doesn’t truly care for anything because his own golden fleece blinds him. Both Riki and Iason loose the people they were before meeting each other and, through the books, search for a new identity, a rebirth (another theme that appears again and again in Jason’s and Medea’s tale). Pelias being tricked into thinking he can be rejuvenated, reborn, and then killed by Medea could be accosted to Kirie’s fate. A false rebirth that only means death. In fact Kirie’s name itself means “Lord”, like Pelias is the lord of Iolcus.

The most meaningful inscription, in the optic of the reconciliation of Jason’s and Medea’s figures, is the one where it was written “Passing by opening the door of the villa, Iason obtained the rich fleece of Medea”. In that context one could argue that Iason’s travel “through the door” symbolises a form of acceptance of Medea’s rules and values, and that true knowledge and redemption from human limitations can only be achieved when rationality and passion are both taken into account and given their own space in a human’s life. In that inscription the treasure, the fleece is Medea’s.

In conclusion: yes, I do think the meaning of Ιάσων is important to the plot of Ai no Kusabi, and I also think that there are several interesting parallelisms that could be made between the characters of the myth in some of its interpretations and Iason.Still I also think that the meaning of “healer”, should not be taken literally, but interpreted in the context to signify a sort of “spiritual healing”, a conciliation between opposite positions and pulls. As I said in previous posts I think that Elites, Blondies in particular, can be seen as “failed projects” since they are supposed to serve as a bridge between men and machine, yet they are taught to look down on mankind rather than try to understand the humanity in them and “embrace it”. This way they are made ultimately ineffective at presenting the human position before Jupiter and Iason’s only “healing” act comes at the end of the novels and is about accepting his “human” side and acting upon it not for evil but, once in his life, for good. Thus “healing” that flaw of his whole specie. Besides, in such an optic, death, rather than the eternal life granted by the fleece, becomes the one way to freedom from Amoi’s society, the great equaliser.

Are many of these speculations of mine pretty wild? Absolutely. After all the cultural context Yoshihara-sensei lives in is very different from the one I am speaking from, and there are issues of Japanese society explored in the books that I only tangentially know and which can be appreciated and spoken of far better by people who are part of, or know well, Japanese society.Still I think that Yoshihara-sensei did a kind of “syncretic effort”, to present a far-future culture that stemmed from many different roots (the Vila of slavic folklore are mentioned and subtly likened to the Elites, the reliefs on Midas’ gates are described as very similar to Indian reliefs, an angel is the symbol of the Guardians, one of Riki’s nicknames is Vajira and so on), thus I think that some of the observations I made might have indeed occurred to her while choosing the name for Iason.

Thank you so much for the question again, and sorry for this humongous rant. I hope it could interest you, Anon!

#ai no kusabi #Iason mink #riki the dark #meta #sorry for the rant #I LOVED this question so much!#Anonymous #sorry for the long and pointless game of parallelisms #I like it so much! XD #cw: mention of abuse

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jam2289 · 5 years ago

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Fighting Local Government Corruption - Part 4 of ?

Dalton Township has a need for change. We need a change in our policies and procedures. That change has to be slow, steady, consistent, and reasonable. It has to be done in a transparent way that the citizens can trust, and there has to be the opportunity for participation and contribution. But there is a change that needs to happen before all of that, and that's a personnel change.

I will be writing a list of grievances here. I will be presenting this list of grievances at the Dalton Township Board Meeting on June 10th. Let's see what this list might look like. (It might take a couple of tries.)

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We, the citizens of Dalton Township, have found a disparity between the legal and moral conduct that we expect from our representative government officials, and what has been delivered. These violations of trust include, but are not limited to:

Item 1 - Not pursuing just means of mediation between citizens of the community.

Item 2 - Using immoral and illegal means of intimidation, deception, and secrecy against local farms and businesses, such as Hidden Creek Farm.

Example one - Improperly providing notice of suit according to the Michigan Court Officers' Civil Process Handbook, and thus thwarting due process.

Example two - Repeatedly telling citizens that no litigation was initiated against Hidden Creek Farm when, in fact, litigation had been filed.

Example three - Not complying with the Michigan Open Meetings Act.

Item 3 - Not informing Board Trustees of Dalton Township that Dalton Township was involved with litigation, when such action could only have been approved at an open meeting if it were to be done legally.

Item 4 - Lying to the news, the public, and the citizens of Dalton Township about targeting Hidden Creek Farm and its owners with a legal suit.

For these ethical and legal breaches of conduct, we demand change. We demand that the Dalton Township officials begin following the law. We demand that changes in both policies and procedures be implemented in a slow, consistent, and reasonable manner that acknowledges the universal individual rights of the citizens of Dalton Township. We demand the transparency that is necessary to start restoring trust in our representative officials and encourages the participation and contribution of citizens. And, to begin this change, we demand the resignation of Dalton Township Supervisor Tony Barnes.

Signature,

____________

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I think that's okay. I also think it could be better. Maybe the examples should be their own items. Let's think about a couple of things, then I'll come back to that.

Here's a quote from Fox 17 News:

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"Dalton Township has not filed any litigation against Hidden Creek Farm seeking to shut them down... Dut to reports received of the heavy traffic created by a similar previous event held by the Farm on April 20, 2019, where no off street parking was provided, Dalton Township took steps to ensure the safety of all involved."

Tony Barnes, Dalton Township Supervisor

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(There are two lies in that statement by Tony. The obvious one about litigation, and that No off-street parking was provided.)

I also called the township and talked to the zoning administrator Lorraine Grabinski. I was told that the township had filed a restraining order against the farm to stop them from having any events. That's true. I was also told that neighbor Ken had filed a lawsuit against the farm. That's true. I was also told that the township did not have a lawsuit against the farm.

I read the court documents where Dalton Township is listed as the Plaintiff, and Crystal, Lee, and Hidden Creek Farm are listed as the Defendants in the Muskegon County Circuit Court. There are three attorneys listed for the plaintiff. There are zero attorneys listed for the defendants.

The basic idea is that the township says that Crystal and Lee can't have a farm on their land, or any type of commercial activity at all. This is exactly why the Michigan Right to Farm Act was passed, to protect community farms from this type of thing. It would appear that it isn't that effective.

It also appears that there has been deception within the Dalton Township Board itself. For instance, below Mark Baker's first video about the township suing the farm there was a comment that said:

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5/26/19

"I have only heard that the Township is not in any litigation to shut down the farming operation of Hidden Creek Farms."

Daniel Hess, Elected Dalton Township Trustee

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I don't know what to say about all of this.

The land of the free. The home of the brave. The land of opportunity. Rule of law. Universal individual rights. Really?

I'm going to sign this grievance list and present it at the meeting. If other citizens feel that it properly represents the violations that the township has committed then I would like them to sign it as well. Currently, I talk about deception twice. So, I need to work a few things out. Let's see if I can make it a bit better. I want it to be to the point. I want it to be something that I want to sign.

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Dalton Township Citizens' Resolution

We, the citizens of Dalton Township, find our representative officials in violation of the moral and legal conduct that we expect and deserve.

For, not pursuing just means of mediation between citizens.

For, not complying with the Michigan Right to Farm Act.

For, not complying with the Michigan Open Meetings Act.

For, not complying with the Michigan Court Officers' Civil Process Handbook.

For, lying to the news, the public, and the citizens of Dalton Township about targeting Hidden Creek Farm and its owners with a lawsuit.

For, these breaches of trust;

We Demand, the resignation of Dalton Township Supervisor Tony Barnes.

We Demand, transparency in the actions taken by the township.

And, We Demand, greater protection of universal individual rights in our policies and procedures.

Citizen Signatures,

_________

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The line about the Michigan Right to Farm Act points out that the township is violating individual property rights. The line about the Michigan Open Meetings Act points out that the township is violating transparency. The line about the Michigan Court Officers' Civil Process Handbook points out that the township is violating due process.

I feel good about that one. I want to sign it, and I will. If other citizens of Dalton Township wish to sign it, I will make it available to them. (I will make changes over the next week if necessary, but I like the way it looks right now.)

This does not force Tony to resign. It only shows that citizens support his resignation. If he does not Resign, we have the right as citizens to initiate a Recall. If the recall is not approved, we have the duty to Replace him in the 2020 election.

At this time I am not fully sure of the culpability of other members of the Dalton Township Board. I am sure that it will be revealed over time. That is why I believe it would help clarify the issue if the parties that were interested released resolutions of support, or affidavits, in support of Hidden Creek Farm.

"Prometheus Bound" by Aeschylus is one of the greatest written works in history. In that story, Prometheus is punished by Zeus for aiding humanity. While reading about that I wondered if I would be willing to stand against tyranny on my own. I am. There will be at least one signature. I wonder if others are willing to stand with me.

You can find the other articles here: http://www.jeffreyalexandermartin.com/search/label/Government

You can find the Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2275100969473041/?ref=bookmarks

You can join the mailing list here: https://www.fixdalton.com/

You can find the Facebook event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/802517473467484/

________________________________________________

You can find more of what I'm doing at http://www.JeffreyAlexanderMartin.com

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nebulawriter · 7 years ago

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Wonder Woman

I had such a roller coaster of expectations before seeing this movie. If you read my list of anticipated films on new years, you’ll know I was looking forward to this the most. I was ready to defend it from critics just because of my love of Wonder Woman and female superhero movies.

And then critics started coming in RAVING about it, and I was so happy!....until I realized it couldn’t possibly that perfect. Until I realized that maybe critics liked it because it was basically a marvel movie instead of a DC movie, or they liked it for some reason that I’d end up hating, and my expectations started getting worried.

But then I came out of that theater, and you know what, its not a perfect movie, what is? Sure there were some changes here and there I could make, some things that weren’t the best, but you know fucking what?

Wonder Woman’s heart was there. It was there, right there at the center. And because they nailed that, nothing else matters.

Lets talk about the flaws real quick, though.

The Bad Stuff

So, right off the bat the greek god legends they put into this were weird as heck. It was not a traditional greek god telling, and I only realized after I got home that its because they were doing christian greek gods. Okay, but really, Zeus as god, Ares as the fallen angel who hates humans and whispers in their ears to influence them (shush he kinda does a bit) and Diana as Jesus because.....well, it is still a DCEU movie, folks.

On the whole it didn’t bother me too much it was just weird and I think there were ways to have like....not made your hero jesus? but at least it was love jesus, so okay.

I felt like there was a scene missing of Diana going back to Themyscira before going into modern times. IDK. MAYBE they’ll want to pull another movie out of that, but i doubt it.

Am I the only one who kinda wishes after the reveal they replaced David Thewlis with a different actor? Like. Eh. This villain did not feel very Ares god of war. Honestly none of the villains were really that great, but its still a superhero movie, so *shrug*

Did Charlie ever actually snipe someone? we never really found out his story. Was the point he DIDN’T snipe someone?

This also shows its a DCEU movie because like....every action scene had about 10 times more than necessary slow mo. Some of them were needed. Not all of them. if you played all of those at regular speed you’d cut 10 minutes off the film.

aaaaaaaand thats it for Bad Stuff, lets talk about Good Stuff

The Good Stuff

The biggest thing here, and I mean the BIGGEST, was the message. It was clear, concise, but...also complicated? and Very very wonderwoman. About humanity not being perfect, but still should be protected, guided to be better. Its about believing in Love in all things.

And geez the way this played out? The dawning realization for Diana that not one single entity, even a god, caused the cruelty of mankind, but that its more complicated. Its in everyone, even those she loves, maybe even herself. That Good and Evil is not so straightforward. Holy shit. So good.

The ‘godkiller’ part was also thematically appropriate. I remember a post talking about being disappointed that Wonder Woman was often depicted with a sword these days, and I get that. I thought it was just going to be a truth of the films that we’d be stuck with violent Diana. But damn, when that sword SHATTERED! I mean, I wasn’t totally surprised, I kinda expected that the god killer would have actually been her, but still FUCK. The whole final battle sequence was with her lasso, and her final move to defeat Ares was one of protection.

Okay this is going to be something I’ll need to see the movie again for, but from what it looked like, while Wonder Woman was totally 100% on board with killing people, for MOST of her fight scenes, The killing blow was always her second. She’d first try to do some nonlethal damage like punching, or using the lasso to trap them. It was only when they continued pursuing she used a sword, and holy fuck if THAT isn’t thematically appropriate for Wonder Woman. The others, sure, Steve was ready to shoot to kill. But that was Diana’s 2nd move.

The dialogue pieces were nice. People keep saying the romance between Steve and Diana is on point, and it is. Its MAYBE a tad rushed when they get to the actual kissing part, but I’ll put that down as it was war and they had little time. I DID appreciate that even after the kissy stuff, they didn’t treat each other any different.

That’s actually another great point, Steve Trevor was marvelous. He was sorta the comedic relief (brilliant idea to combine that with the love interest) but he was heartfelt when he needed to be. I was so in love with the moment he wrapped the lasso around his own hand. After he had been imprisoned in that thing, it was like, the ultimate trust move on his part. And trust clearly doesn’t come easily for him. Plus he was such a good counterpoint to Diana’s ideals. I was sad he died, but did kinda expect it.

THIS FILM HAS DIVERSITY!!!! Its not perfect, and there’s still a LOT of white, but of the main crew, one was brown, another Native American (actually that was another great point in the thematically “things are more complicated than they appear”) Although...did they say his tribe? Hmm. That is disappointing now that I think about it.....BUT the BACKGROUND characters were also pretty diverse and that was...that was amazing for a ‘historical’ movie. Honestly, they could have made everyone white and there would have been complaints, but they’d be protected mostly. First off there was Nyobe with the Amazons (!!!!!). Then in the background you had even more, I saw multiple background actors with Turbans and everything and it was...it was glorious.

Also I think they tried to sneak in some lesbians. They never made it overt, but we all saw the scene where Antiope died and was crowded by her niece, her sister, and Other Amazon who came running. Also, she’s dead, what more proof do you need of lesbianship? (cries forever)

But yeah. Flawed? Maybe. But Holy SHIT this was a good movie. It had that good balance of humor and action and moral compass. But like I said, it had heart. And thats what makes a superhero film.

Also a boss soundtrack, holy SHIT

#Wonder Woman

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forthegothicheroine · 8 years ago

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Kamigami No Asobi recap, episode 1: Ticking Clock to Ragnarok

What’s more capital-R Romantic than a plucky maiden being romanced by otherworldly deities of questionable morality and common sense? That’s my logic for recapping this anime on my blog, anyway. We’re going to watch an extremely overworked Japanese high school girl deal with romantic entanglements involving gods from several different pantheons, but first let’s establish a few things.

I read a lot about Greek mythology as a teenager, but my friends who are actual classics students probably know these stories better than I do. I know a little about Norse mythology, mostly stories that show up in operas or children’s books. I know a smattering about Egyptian mythology, mostly about Isis (who does not appear in this show.) I know almost nothing about Japanese mythology, so episodes focusing on that pantheon will have me dashing to wikipedia.

Also, there will be a few regular features in these recaps.

Ragnarok Clock: How close, as of this episode, are we to ragnarok? This will be illustrated with that doomsday clock from Watchmen, altered appropriately.

(The snake is Jormungandr.)

Where is Odin? Odin and Ra are the big, glaring omissions in this cast. I don’t pretend to be able to fathom Ra’s actions, but I will take a guess each episode at what Odin is doing while his family is having high school anime drama.

Team ___: Look, it’s a reverse harem anime, I’m going to pick teams. These teams will change with my whims. Tough.

Does Thoth push Yui up against a wall? Trust me, it’s going to be a thing.

Now, on with the show!

Aaannndd...it’s ragnarok time! That was fast! Beautiful men in silly outfits are ripping apart the sky as the world ends around them and a girl begs them not to fight. We don’t yet know who any of these people are, but there’s a nubile blonde man flexing so hard his shirt and pants pop off! If that doesn’t say classical mythology to you, I don’t know what does. Our heroine is not particularly phased by this flexing, as she would really rather the world not end.

FLASHBACK! Or, since this is the rest of the series, maybe I should have labeled that opening scene FLASHFORWARD? I don’t know.

It’s time to formally meet Yui, a young purple-haired shrine maiden who will be our protagonist. If I can be serious for a moment, I really think the fact that she’s a shrine maiden is what holds this show together. The gods are important to her everyday life; sure, she’d be surprised to meet them in the flesh, but it wouldn’t existentially destroy everything she thought she knew about the world.

Yui is endearing in the way reverse harem protagonists often are: she’s a sweet girl who is nowhere NEAR prepared for the amount of bullshit that’s about to be dumped on her lap. We feel for her because really, no high school student should have to deal with this.

She’s busy practicing her swordsmanship for an upcoming ceremony, which makes her late for school. (Again, I empathize with her here- that sounds way better than school.) At school, everyone is talking about their futures, which is immaterial because RAGNAROK IS COMING! REPENT! Ahem. Yui cries without understanding why, though I believe it’s because she’s realized she’s the protagonist and shit is about to get wacky for the rest of her life.

Yui barely has time to get home and reflect on not knowing what she wants to do with her life when the plot attacks! Color turns negative, a mysterious voice calls her name, and the shed out back starts to glow! The source of the glow appears to be a magical sword, but there should be a caution label on it, since touching it may lead to you being struck by lightening and transported to Narnia.

Which is exactly what happens to poor Yui.

Okay, it isn’t actually Narnia. (Although maybe it is? Lion Jesus and the Greek gods seem to cohabitate there peacefully, so I guess it’s in the same spirit?) Anyway, it’s a big fancy mansion/university with tweeting birds and glorious architecture, and Yui awakens there on the floor. The magic sword has shrunk to a convenient pendent, there for when she finally awakens as a magical girl. Presumably.

Yui takes this all in stride, calmly wondering if she’s travelled in time. Hey, it could happen. The whole place is eerily empty except for one tall drink of goth...

Hades! He’s my personal pick for most attractive of the gods, although you can’t convince me that Hades, a man who lives underground and never comes out, would take such good care of his flowing locks. He laments that Yui is so unfortunate as to have been caught up in this cruel game, because kidnapping girls is only okay when he’s the one doing it.

Actually, I’m not sure if Persephone exists in the world of this show or not, but more on that later. The arrival of Hades is heralded by blooming poppies.

Yui is quite rightly stunned by his mopey good looks, but Hades warns her not to come near him for it will only bring her misery. She is admirably unimpressed by this statement, but gets distracted by a cute rabbit. (A girl after my own heart.) The rabbit leads her to a classroom with a lilac-haired pretty boy whose arrival is heralded by blooming irises. He is...

...Tsukito, god of the moon! The lilac ponytail may seem a bit much now, but trust me, once you’ve met the rest of the gods he will look positively conservative. He’s more reasonable and easier to talk to than Hades, but also doesn’t know what’s going on. But there’s no time to get acquainted, because our conversation is interrupted by...

...Takeru, god of the sea! It may not look that bad in this picture, but holy frick does this hair piss me off when it’s onscreen. He looks like green Naruto! I am automatically set against him, and it will take a good deal to win me over with this handicap. His special flower is...um...I don’t know, I’ve seen these flowers before but I have no idea of their name. They’re blue with white stripes. Anyway, he’s our token tsundere, so that’s another strike against him.

Thoroughly annoyed by this asshole, Yui continues exploring and discovers, once and for all, that she’s in a giant building on a magical world with floating islands and flying horses. All of this is a lot to take in at once, so she runs down the stairs and immediately bumps into...

...Loki. Let me get this out of the way, since it’s what I’ll be thinking the whole show long: WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS HAIR? The black nail polish is a respectable tradition (I’m wearing it right now), but that hair is inexcusable. That hair is a blight upon the concept of divinity. That hair is one of Loki’s monstrous children, right alongside Hel. In fact, Hel is probably glad she got the skull face instead of that hair.

That said, hair that bad is totally in-character. He gets pink and white chrysanthemums for his introductory flower.

Loki is interested in two things- invading Yui’s personal space and tracking down his blonde friend. These two things will continue to be his main interests throughout the show.

Loki doesn’t find said blonde yet, but Yui does. He’s a regular Disney prince, chilling out with friendly woodland animals attracted by his purity of heart. He is, of course...

...Balder! Balder is very cute, even though he looks exactly like Legolas. Looking like Legolas isn’t a bad thing, anyway. He gets a bunch of introductory lillies, and is the only person so far who is actually nice to Yui. Unfortunately, he has incurable clumsiness, the weakness usually given to female love interests. Fortunately, he cannot be hurt by any of his many trips and falls, because everything in the world made a vow not to hurt him.

Almost everything. Tick tock goes the ragnarok clock...

This clumsiness results in him falling on top of Yui and knocking them both into a bed of flowers. Unlike if this had happened with literally any of the other characters, I genuinely believe Balder did not do that on purpose. They tell each other that they have beautiful eyes and it’s all very romantic because Balder is actually capable of being attracted to a person without becoming correspondingly hostile. (Take note, half the rest of the cast.)

One of the people who should take note is Loki, who runs onto the scene to fly into a jealous rage over Balder touching anyone else. We’ll get into the Balder/Yui/Loki dynamic in future episodes- it’s more complicated than a simple love triangle- but here we see Loki having a snit, one of the show’s major themes. It’s hard to be very scared of his snits, though, since he has mostly short hair with two long bits on the side and a skinny braid in the back. Seriously, what is with his hair?

But we’ve got bigger gods to worry about! That voice and accompanying color-negative are back, and she has to track their source. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the man you’ve all been waiting to see. Possessor of the best hair on the show (in that it’s both flattering and character-appropriate), the king of heaven himself, it’s time to meet...

...Zeus! Now I know what you’re afraid of, because I was afraid of it too. Don’t worry- Zeus has no predatory intentions towards Yui aside from kidnapping her. He’s much more interested in using her presense to torment the other gods while he sits back and cackles.

While she comes to know and befriend most of the other gods and call them -san, Zeus stays -sama throughout the show. You’d BETTER call Zeus -sama. He is not a love interest, and so gets no flowers.

And he has a horrible terrifying child form he sometimes turns into for no reason. I will not inflict it upon you, because unlike Zeus, I am merciful. Seriously, it’s like a horrible creepy doll with reflective gold eyes. Brrrr.

Zeus’ ostensible purpose in kidnapping a bunch of gods and a teenage girl and forcing them all to go to high school for his amusement is that the gods are growing too remote from their worshippers, and need to personally experience and learn about humanity. This doesn’t sound like the kind of thing Zeus would give a shit about, so I assume the real purpose was something like “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if I forced Hades to go through puberty again?” Yui is there to help make the gods into better people. I guess it’s kind of like the plot of Small Gods, but with less turtles.

Yui is still not terribly pleased about having been kidnapped, and accuses Zeus of being tyrannical. Which...yes. Yes he is. Tyrant is a Greek word. If Zeus decides you’re going to be in a reverse-harem anime, there’s really not much you can do about it. As Yui storms out we get a quick glimpse of our other resident hot dad Thoth, but he’s still in shadows both literally and figuratively.

As she collapses on the ground outside in fear, Yui is approached by another blonde- a friendly, preppy, incessantly cheerful lad who is introduced with a burst of sunflowers. Surprise surprise, he’s...

...Apollo! (The show calls him Apollon, but I refuse.) Apollo is going to annoy me in future episodes by giving everyone irritating nicknames, but he doesn’t do anything annoying in this episode so I’ll go easy on him. Unlike all the other gods, he’s delighted to be here, trusting that his father knows best. (Whether he actually does or not remains to be seen.) Apollo goes into full gallant flirt mode, sparkling at Yui as he kisses her hand and pulling her in for a full-on kiss.

Zero to I’m-your-boyfriend-now, that’s our Apollo.

With the episode over, it’s time to check in!

Ragnarok Clock

Where is Odin? During this episode, Odin is wandering the halls and enjoying the peace and quiet that comes from Loki and Thor not being there.

Team ___: Team Balder. Birds flock around him to sing!

Does Thoth push Yui up against a wall? No. Takeru pushes her up against a desk, though.

#kamigami no asobi

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ciathyzareposts · 6 years ago

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Rome – The Political Machine

Written by TBD

Hector’s Journal #3: “I’ve been a Senator for 15 minutes and I’ve already been given the opportunity to become a Consul, a position of power second only to the Emperor himself. So how do I get the populace to vote for me? Sensible and affordable policies? Tax breaks for low income families? Screw all that. I figure the most effective way of getting this promotion is by bribing as many citizens as I can! It’s times like these I’m wondering if I should have spent more time earlier in the game stealing money…”

I hate Rome! Each chapter of the game has involved me restarting it over and over again until I get it right. And these sections have gotten progressively harder. To top it all off, while each section is a self-contained level, the amount of gold I have is carried over, so when I’ve only just passed an earlier section with minimal extra funds, I make each subsequent section harder. Can I make it too hard to finish? I certainly hope not. I actually enjoy the repetition the first few times I have to restart, as I see different things, but after a few goes I see nothing new and just have to plod through hoping the luck of the dice turn my way. I thought the reloading of saved games was tedious in the previous chapter, but this chapter leaves Britain for dead in the ‘you failed – start again’ stakes. Sigh. Oh well, Let’s continue playing and see how I go.

When last we looked in on Hector the slave owner, invader and pillager, he’d just been made a Senator by leading an army into killing a lot of Britons. Being a responsible slave owner, I enquire about Barbarus’ health.

Good, because I’ll probably be having you fight until you die at the arena later today.

Soon after my welcome parade disperses, the trumpeteer announces that the Emperor has something else to say.

The rules to the election are as follows:

Nominations for Consul need to be made at the Senate within the hour

Candidates will have to canvass the people for support

As soon as one of the candidates says he is ready, the election takes place

I go straight to the Senate to nominate myself for Consul.

No. I don’t support him. I support me!

It seems I can’t nominate myself so I talk to people about how to be nominated. I’m told that I just need to convince a citizen that I’m generous in order to get them to nominate me.

Before I get around to deciding how to proceed, a slave auction is announced. I have some cash, so decide to gather another slave in order to make more cash. I buy Ignominius, but then hear some bad news.

Damn.

I go back to the senate, and the Emperor confirms that I’m too late to be nominated. Ignoring the news, I go to the arena, where a new contest has just been announced. I pit Ignominius against the chamption and make 40 sesterces. I await my next challenger, knowing that Ignominius won all the fights last time I was in Rome.

But… Billius is MY slave. And he died before I left for Britain.

When the soldiers take away the dead losers do they cast a resurrection spell on them? It it just a different guy with the same name and skills? Oh well, it took me a lot of tries and reloading for Billius to beat Ignominius last time so I’m sure it won’t be a prob…

Zombie Billius is much more powerful than human Billius.

I put Barbarus up against Billius and he lost too – combining that with my failure to be nominated to Consul, I restarted the chapter.

This time when I went to the Senate, I gave 10 sesterces to the first citizen I found.

I’d say giving someone money with the expectation they’ll do you a favour is much closer to bribery than generosity.

Asking for a nomination while standing in the Senate has some unexpected results. I don’t think the game thought I’d do that here.

Um… why are you walking away. The Emperor was right next to you.

Claudia leaves the Senate and nominates me from the doorway, then comes straight to me and tells me that the Emperor has accepted my nomination.

Claudia’s already ahead of you, Emperor. She just told me you’d accepted. Maybe she sees the future!

While I’m there three more citizens nominate Laborius Domesticus (the slave trader). It seems he has a lot of support. Because I want to see how this plays out, I immediately call an election, hoping that my military success will be enough to get me a few votes.

The herald calls an election, and I wait for the people to arrive. I offer Laborius 5 sesterces to vote for me, but he unsurprisingly calls me out for being ridiculous.

I offer some money to a slave, but he tells me only citizens can vote.

With all the citizens gathering around, I try to do a quick bribery session. The first person I bribe takes my cash, but it doesn’t help.

Well, give me my 5 bucks back, then!

I have time to bribe two more people before the election begins.

So how does the voting go…

Laborius gets 6 votes

Unscrupulus (the money-lender) gets 0 votes

and I get…

I’d like to thank the two people I’d successfully bribed, for supporting me. I’d like to thank my mum and dad…

Having lost the election, I get a cutscene telling me that I’d taken a real blow to my self-esteem and therefore lost the game.

Retiring in the countryside sounds pretty bloody good to me. Did Hector forget that he was a slave in a city being consumed by lava not so long ago? Do you think zombie Billius would prefer retiring to the countryside to being brutally killed in the arena?

So the chapter restarts, and this time I notice that pressing the SYSTEM button gives me a SKIP INTRODUCTION option.

Nice fourth-wall break, Hector.

Much like I did when I had Claudia nominate me while already in the Senate, I confused the game’s logic by getting a citizen to nominate me before the Emperor had even showed up to announce the election.

Um… he’s just arrived right behind me, why are you wandering off towards the Senate?

The Emperor announces the election, then makes his way to the Senate. I follow him and find my new friend waiting here – she nominates me as soon as the Emperor arrives.

Now that I know a little about how elections work, I start bribing every citizen I find.

With luck, one of the men I find is a satirist. I give him 10 sesterces to say bad things about my opponent.

… and what’s the deal with airline food?

I also find a priest who for the right price is willing to put in a good word to the man upstairs on my behalf.

I thought Zeus was Greek. Shouldn’t you be praying to Jupiter?

And I find a poet who’s willing to perform a play in my honour for 15 sesterces.

I think I’m starting to see the fruits of my bribery of the satirist, priest and poet, as I may have people willing to vote for me without having to bribe them individually.

A gladiatorial game is announced, so I take my slaves to the arena. Ignominius makes me 80 sesterces, and just in time too.

I have problems paying him. Using the PAY button seems to have me wanting to bribe him with 5 sesterces to vote for me. Or perhaps I’m clicking in the wrong place because the stupid moneylender decided to talk to me from behind a large wall and perhaps behind another citizen.

But I tried to pay, I just couldn’t click on you correctly! Shut up and take my money!

I had saved the game after winning the fight, so had quite a few goes at trying to pay the moneylender. But I kept failing.

With Unscrupulus promising to spread word of my deadbeat qualities, I rush to the Senate to call an election before the word spreads. But the Emperor isn’t there so I can’t call an election now. Day quickly turns to evening and a play was announced. I went to watch the play and bribe the audience.

Unscrupulus was there, and once again whinged about me owing him money. Now, I had reloaded so much that I’m not sure what happened here. Perhaps last time I reloaded I just left the arena before Unscrupulus got to talk to me. Either way, this time I successfully paid him because he was only half hidden behind a statue.

When night falls, I go to the hostel and buy a bed for the night, hoping to start the election as soon as morning falls. I wake up and go straight to the Senate. Once again, I don’t find the Emperor there yet, so I explore, looking to bribe a few more people. Unfortunately I found that one of my previously bribed friends has been counter-bribed.

But… I bribed you yesterday to say bad things about MY competition…

The election is called, and this time Laborius gets 7 votes, Unscrupulus 0 votes again and I get 5 votes. I’m getting better, but still not good enough.

I had QUIT AND SAVEd at the theatre last evening, so I went back to that game, and bribed another person. If that person was going to vote for Laborius, that would make it even. And if I could get an election called before Laborius bribed anyone else, that could swing the vote.

I went to bed again. An assassin works just outside the hostel, but I ignored him last time and went to sleep. I did the same this time, but due to the pathfinding it took me slightly longer to enter the hostel door.

Aw man, that sucks.

But that made me think. Perhaps I could hire the assassin to kill Laborius. Unscrupulus is no contest to me as he always gets 0 votes…

I’ll give you 17 now, plus 183 when we reach Alderaan.

Gee. This guy kills me if I ignore him, kills me if I tell him I’m not interested and kills me if I tell him yes but can’t afford it. I’m starting to think this assassin is not a moral person!

This time I run, hoping he’s more of an assassin than an athlete. I actually make it a few blocks before he catches me.

Tag! You’re it!

But wait. I’m a victorious Roman Centurion and General. I’ll accept that he killed me in my sleep last time but shoudn’t I be able to easily beat an assassin in a straight up street fight when I know he’s coming?

I kept restarting and/or reloading, trying different things. Somewhere amongst the repetitive boredom, I found a few more things I didn’t find in my first few attempts.

I tried my luck at the dice game. I lose a lot more than I win, and as the payoff is not that great, didn’t bother with this more than once.

I could meet the satirist after he’s been bribed by someone else and instead of asking for 10 seseterces, he asks for 20 to change allegiances. If he keeps this up he could run for Consul himself!

I buy a slave girl at one point but I can’t put her in the arena

By the end of the game, I think I might be!

If I give coins to priests too many times I actually make the gods angry.

Greedy? By giving my money to HIS worshippers?

I actually end up getting worse at campaigning as I go on. At one point Laborius got 11 votes while I only got 2.

Having tried quite a bit, and been through the same day a LOT of times, I actually wrote down a plan on how to proceed.

Wait for the Emperor’s announcement.

Immediately bribe a citizen to nominate me.

Bribe every citizen I find that doesn’t already like me, but make sure I keep at least 65 sesterces in order to pay back the moneylender and purchase a fighting slave

Find and bribe the satirist

Be nice to Ned Ryerson

Find and bribe the poet to perform a play in my honour

Find a bribe a priest or priestess for Zeus’ favour

When the herald announces the slave auction, buy two male slaves if I can afford them both.

Pour a milkshake over my mean sorority sister

When the herald announces the gladiatorial fights, sacrifice my slaves in order to make money at the arena

Call an election.

Use my arena winnings to bribe everyone who’s near the election who doesn’t already love me.

Get upset that I still lost

Tell Dormammu I’ve come to bargain.

Wonder if I should restart the entire game in order to make more money in early chapters

Sigh, then restart the chapter, going back to step 1.

At this point, I stopped playing for a while. I’d really gotten sick of the game and didn’t play for over a week. I felt I needed at least an hour of free time, preferably more and even when I had free time I just didn’t feel up to spending it in this game doing the same thing over and over.

Eventually I got back into the game and won in 18 minutes. I didn’t even follow my plan. I’d made a mistake in saving the game and ended up reverting to a save game from over a week earlier, and which I’d failed at last time I played it. That save gave me little time before the election started so I decided to just lose that game and then let the game restar…

I won 6 votes to 5! Random number generators, ladies and gentlemen!

Rather than congratulate me or allow me to start my new job, the Emperor immediately sees me as a threat and does his best to get rid of me.

But you’re the one responsible for my rapid rise. You’ve just given me my third promotion in as many chapters!

The Emperor sends me to Egypt with a small group of soldiers, hoping I’ll die over there and not be his problem. I have to wonder why he let me get promoted to Senator and Consul if he wasn’t going to allow me to do the job of a politician in Rome and immediately send me off as a Centurion and General instead.

But, Cleopatra, I already helped you with this problem when I played an Assassin’s Creed game last year!

I can see by the interface on the left that I’m about to start another Real Time Strategy chapter. And I had so much fun with that last time! Well, we’ll see how I go with that in a week or so if I can keep my sanity. See you then.

Just a thought I had about the Final Rating. I’m not sure how much my dislike of the game will affect the rating. The game is barely an adventure game as it is. The best way I can describe its adventure qualities is that each Chapter is a single puzzle, and each puzzle must be solved by getting close to the optimum route, which is largely only doable by restarting multiple times until you get it right.

Session time: 2 hours 35 minutes (gee, I’m impatient. I could have sworn it’d be closer to 6 hours!)

Total time: 8 hours 10 minutes Amount of times I failed before finding the one scenario I won: 14,000,604

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/rome-the-political-machine/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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