#yqy is bad at sex

[chaos0pikachu]

I spent the last week deep diving Shen Jiu fic on ao3 and what I’ve learned is y’all really be bullying (affectionate??) yue qinqyuan lmaoooo that man can’t catch a break in fics 

[princessshikky]

Okay, this post has been a long time coming.

Basically, there is a huge amount of misconceptions about liujiu and their history, and it's very frustrating to see in arguments about canon, so. I'm here to clear Liu-shidi's reputation and browbeat SJ with a newspaper (affectionate).

There is a whooping total of 4 liujiu interaction scenes in SVSSS. In chronological order:

The first meeting occurs at an inter-peak competition, where SJ hates LQG at first glance. LQG wins a sparring and has an air of "matter-of-fact arrogance" about him, which only strengthens SJ's dislike. What's interesting is that next SJ ambushes LQG after the sparring and "uses every means" to attack him, as recounted by Yue Qingyuan. Which does nothing to endear SJ to LQG and makes LQG very understandaby wary of SJ.

The second meeting occurs in a brothel. Backstory: SJ stumbles upon a Baizhan disciple named Ji Jue on the street, they have a quarrel, SJ beats and seriously injures Ji Jue, then goes to a brothel. LQG hears about it and rushes to "teach SJ a lesson". Interestingly, nowhere in the text is it mentioned that SJ is injured in any way after his scuffle with LQG, even though the fight has apparently taken quite a while and LQG is a way better fighter than SJ.

The well mission. SJ, LQG and SQH are assigned to deal with some evil spirits in a remote village. Spirits fly out of an old well, one of them attempts to attack LQG from behind, SJ sees it and attacks the spirit, but accidentally brushes over LQG's shoulder, which LQG mistakes for an attempt to kill him. SQH tries to clear the misunderstanding, but SJ threatens him into silence. Again, LQG and SJ come to blows, but no injuries are mentioned.

The disciple acceptance ceremony. SJ and YQY are watching the potential recruits, LQG arrives, has a brief but civil conversation with YQY, SJ intervenes, LQG insults him and leaves.

That's it, folks! That's literally every liujiu interaction in canon! Now with this out of the way, let me disprove some of those fanons I see in liujiu fics every damn time I dare to open one.

LQG did not mistakenly believe SJ to be a son of a wealthy family. Nowhere in the book does LQG ever comment on SJ's origin. This is a fanon from "The Grand Unified Theory of Shen Qingqiu", which is a great fic, don't get me wrong, but god did it mess with people's perception!

In the same vein, LQG never accused SJ of being lazy. Ever. That was QQQ.

LQG wasn't unreasonable to immediately assume SJ was trying to kill him during the well assignment. Think of what LQG knows about SJ at this point: SJ is willing to ambush someone because of entirely stupid and petty reasons like a lost sparring; SJ is perfectly willing to seriously injure his fellow disciple (see: Ji Jue); SJ is constantly threatening to kill LQG (mentioned in the brothel scene); SJ is not above using dirty tricks to achieve his ends. Yes, the suspicion made SJ feel bad, which is perfectly understandable (poor SJ was just trying to help!), but it wasn't entirely baseless. LQG's conclusion was based on SJ's prior behavior.

Speaking of SJ's dirty tricks: no, when people mentioned SJ's penchant for dishonest means, they weren't talking about harmless tricks like qiankun buttons. SQH insinuates in canon that SJ wouldn't be above shanking LQG with a poisoned knife in the middle of a sparring (Airplane extra, when he watches LQG spar with SY!SQQ), and Ji Jue, someone who's fought SJ personally, seems to agree.

LQG did not condemn SJ's womanizing and/or his visits to the brothel. The only times when LQG comments on SQQ's private life in canon have to do with LBH and bingqiu. To put it simply: LQG did not give a damn about SJ allegedly spending time with sex workers. Nor did LQG constantly stalk SJ to try and catch him in a brothel. Nor did LQG ever lecture SJ about sex being bad for his cultivation (that was YQY, but no one ever remembers this bit).

Actually, it can be inferred that most of the time liujiu tried to ignore each other when forced to be in each other's presence. They only interact when they cannot avoid it/when SJ does (or seems to do) something so shitty LQG cannot ignore it. Or when SJ deliberately attracts LQG's attention.

Conversely, LQG did not constantly pursue SJ demanding a sparring with him. Not ever. I have no idea where this particular fanon stems from.

LQG did not gossip about SJ's private life. It is never mentioned in the book; however, it is said that several Baizhan disciples knew of SJ visiting a pleasure house. Any of them could've spread the rumour; or hell, it could've been someone else who saw SJ entering the place at a later date. Or the brothel workers may have shared the story with their other clients. It's never clearly stated, but there's no reason to believe LQG specifically was the one responsible for spreading this rumour. For one, YQY promises SJ that LQG would keep quiet about their skirmish. Also, it just isn't in character for LQG to gossip.

Just... every time people write liujiu, they go out of their way to completely erase SJ's shitty behavior, blaming all of the bad blood between them on LQG "misunderstanding" the poor innocent SJ. Oh, if only LQG knew the truth, he'd immediately recognise the error of his ways!.. Except no, actually, it's not how it is at all. And I'm so tired of the people constantly mistaking fanons for canon.

[gaywarcriminals]

Who is the best and worst scum villain character to cuck/ntr?

Oh no, are the cuck asks spreading… have I caught the plague from Danny's ask box...... Always, as usual I thought way too much about this!

Best: Since you mentioned both, I'm separating cucking kink and NTR here: As a rule, I think it’s always funniest and therefore best to NTR the ML. He had his shot in canon, now in fic it’s time to bully him! For Binghe specially, I think it’s exceptionally funny to cuck Bunhe. It’s not even really NTR because bunhe has no claim on his shizunmommywife, but he’s SO sure they’re destined and he’s thawed SQQ’s heart and that they’ll have a summer wedding. I just think it’s fun to shatter that 🥰. In canon, LBH’s hopes and dreams are destroyed when shizun pushes him into the abyss, but similar turmoil can be achieved by having one or more peaklords fuck SQQ.  My top pick for the cucking fetish is LQG, because he’s fun to bully and he’s look sooo cute sitting there horny gripping, forbidden from attending to his own desire. LQG is more obedient than Binghe, which makes him more suited to sit quietly in the corner, relegated to furiously blushing piece of furniture ❤️

Worst: YQY for both. This is partially because he’s a popular NTR victim in fics about both SY/SQQ and SJ, but it’s also because of I don’t think he would react in particularly fun or interesting ways. He’d just quietly accept it and draw away from his ex lover who clearly doesn’t want him anymore and have a YQY-brand depressive episode where he just sits and works without eating or sleeping because if he stops he’ll have to Think and he can’t stand to be alone with his thoughts anymore.  For the fetish side, I do have a few scenarios in my head or YQY not being allowed to join his established partners in bed because he broke a 24/7 D/s rule (overworked himself or something, neglecting himself and his partners), and he’s forced to just yearn and admire how beautiful his partners are together and bow back he wants to touch and reflect on his mistakes, and then he gets aftercare and cuddles. However, that is, shall we say, not typically how YQY cucking kink goes in fic, and since I only want to read people making fun of YQY’s sexual prowess when they (correctly) think it’s cute for him to be bad at sex or impotent, I’ve also come to dislike cucking fetish for YQY.

[bytedykes]

Nie mingjue and liu qingge for the character ask game?

Sexuality Headcanon: im a nieyao/3zun truther so like he likes men... lqg is my beautiful aroace swordguy <333

Gender Headcanon: I LOVE BUTCH WOMEN!!!! ok both of them are men to me as canon, but like. take my hand. butch nmj and he/him butch lqg okay?

A ship I have with said character: i guess i already said but Big fan of nieyao i like it when weird assholes tear each other into pieces ^-^ 3zun is also good. for lqg i like him in bingliushen but only the way i personally like it and not the way people usually do it. hes a part of their marriage in the sense that he's their nonsexual nonromantic chew toy that they like sooo much. also lqg/tlj can be really good sometimes (thinking of raitala's 'the reluctant suitor' series - very nice tianliu series but also one of my fave lqg characterizations i've seen lol he's such a weirdo in this one)

A BROTP I have with said character: nmj and nhs!!! i love you nie siblings you rock. also i like nielan childhood friends i think its very fun especially when they start falling apart in the later years <3 an interesting take ive seen before also is nmj&wq which is pretty fun. LQG&SQQ THE BESTIES <3 theyre everything !!! i really like them i like how much they genuinely enjoy each others company and how fucking Bad they are at like. being in a friendship its awesome. also as a treat for myself lqg&yqy is sooo tasty i love it when lqg genuinely likes and looks up to him and yqy is fond of him in turn. could a sect leader and his coworker-subordinate really be... friends?

A NOTP I have with said character: obviously ew incest ships but aside from that i cant really think of anything? lqg x romance my notp i think he's so aro. also okay. okay honestly. liushen sometimes NOT all the time but sometimes the way ppl act about it irks me and i automatically look away. like the blatantly ooc fandomized liushen. bye </3

A random headcanon: lqg forest puddle water drinkerrrr dkjaskdss no im kidding im kidding. my random headcanon ("random headcanon" lol) is that he has good dad energy. he could pull thru. give that man a baby :] can i plug spring in bloom here again does anyone want to read spring in bloom by kay my friend kay <3 also i think he's immune to sex pollen bc he's an aroace jock who just exercises it out of his system. no basis for this one other than it's hilarious

for nmj... i think he secretly has a very annoying sense of humor that many people don't know about but he terrorizes nhs with. dad jokes type of beat... da-ge jokes <3

General Opinion over said character: I FUCKING LOVE THESE GUYS!!!!! i love it when there is a guy with a big fucking sword who has sooo many problems. lol! anyway ok more specifically:

i thought nmj was very interesting while reading the novel and definitely had a "hey wtf dude" initial reaction to him, but he's reallyyy grown on me <3 partially bc he's been on my mind a lot and partially bc of his presence in cql! (cql nmj is my type also so that definitely did smth to me as well lol) i think he's a really interesting character to explore both bc of his general backstory and bc of his relationships w other characters, as well as the fact that (in the novel) we never really see him of completely sound mind, so there's lots of room to play w how you portray him. he's fun!

lqg i love soooo much i loved him from day ONE i loved him as soon as he showed up. he's so good. i think his appearance was a very funny surprise (?), esp the way sqq narrated it lmao, and i really like him in general. i loveee the loyal sword character trope and i like how lqg does it (so well <3). his general awkwardness and extreme talent to put his foot in his mouth is also really charming ("its ok you can just get a new disciple" what is wrong with him). i also think there's room to explore w him, especially his family + relationships w other sect members, i love you liu siblings... lqg is a character who goes through a lot of growth imo and it's very satisfying to see that + how his rs with sqq changes through the novel. lqg is also a character that is so fun to put into situations and also make fun of. bc he's so sucks <3 ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVE LQG if there is no lqg lovers on this earth i am dead etc

TYSM FOR THE ASK KAY <333 sorry it took me so long to answer LMAO it was really fun though

[rainbowpui]

There is many bad SJ takes but nothing comes close to "SJ SA-ed NYY"

omg yes that one bothers me so much... esp with how heavily implied it is that SJ was SAed its so dumb to think that with everything else about sj being disproved (lqg, the circumstances with the qiu murders, sj being responsible for yqy's death, etc.) that of all things THAT would be true..... esp knowing that he wasnt even actually having sex with the brothel women and just went to them bc he couldnt feel safe around men i cant say that its 100% canon that sj is gay.... but considering he literally never showed in any sexual interest in the brothel women or qht and gave all of his loyalty to another man and waited around patiently like a maiden to be rescued by him...... bruh... i think he might be a bit fruity lolll (it doesnt help the translation randomly adds a reference to SA that wasnt in the raws when sqh was talking to sy =_= in the raws it cuts off and is left vague but in the translation they try to specify an implied assault. unfortunately i feel like a lot of translator bias ended up in the english translation with some weird term choices but like bro in that part they straight up just added something that wasnt in the raws)

[saunters-vaguely-downwards]

Set to the tune of Good on me by Vanic, Olivia

Og!Shen Qingqiu is attracted to Liu Qingge. Liu Qingge is attracted to SQQ. In a moment of weakness, they sleep together

SQQ does it to get the attraction out of his system. He thinks LQG will act like many other men, especially since he's a thick headed brute, either during or afterwards. Either he'll be used and thrown away without any consideration for himself, or LQG will act like SQQ owes him something now. Thus killing the attraction. He doesn't.

On LQG's side of things, he hates that he's attracted to SQQ. He's realized that SQQ isn't as bad as he thought at this point (has noticed his loyalty to YQY for example) but still believes certain other things. Such as his sexual appetite. Which is one of the reasons he ends up sleeping with SQQ as bad as that sounds. Because he believes SQQ sleeps around so that sex doesn't mean as much to SQQ. PiDW exists in a weird state where there are definitely some different values around physical touch, appearance, etc that's heavily connected to one's honor. But it's also a stallion harem novel where everything is solved by sex. So sex strangely isn't as tied to honor as it is in many other cultivation settings, but it's still not considered particularly honorable to sleep around with many partners. But sex outside of marriage or partnership is not a make or break deal, which is why LQG allows this to happen. It's a bit of a blemish on both of their honors since they are not long term partners nor is it a medical necessity, but nothing outrageous.

This isn't to say that LQG only has sex with SQQ because he thought it meant less to SQQ or that SQQ's honor was already too stained for it to matter. It's because SQQ is very very very pretty and LQG is weak. And he doesn't believe SQQ will ever return his regard so part of him wants to accept whatever SQQ is willing to offer him. He goes in to this 100% believing it to be a one night stand that will matter way more to him than to SQQ. But it will still be worth it to have that closeness with him even once. And he really is very very pretty.

That changes once he realizes that SQQ is not as experienced as LQG believed. In fact, he doesn't seem like he has had any more practice than LQG has. Sure he clearly knows what he's doing (which is more than LQG can say), but its also clear to LQG that his knowledge is theoretical. He is known as the martial god for a reason and he can tell when someone is faking confidence and experience in anything physical, which apparently includes sex. It's in the slightest of hesitations, the pauses, the searching. The varying pressure, everything. SQQ hides it very well. Not a hint shows on his face but not even he can hide all the tension in his muscles and posture. Not without the many layers of clothing to obscure him. Nor can he hide the faintest of trembles of his fingertips where they press against and trail along LQG's skin.

Partway through LQG realizes that he has done a great disservice to SQQ. SQQ does not frequent a brothel for sex. There is no stain on his honor, only the false accusations thrown at him. And this clearly means a lot more to SQQ than LQG thought it did. He would have called an end to things then and there, except SQQ clearly wants this. He wants to be doing this. He wants LQG. While there is hesitancy to his movements, it is not because he is doubting his desire. He /wants/. LQG is weak. He wants too and never thought he could have. He doesn't stop SQQ.

Sex doesn't go as planned on SQQ's part either. While he didn't think LQG had much if any experience, he thought LQG would treat this like any other problem he encounters and charge it head on. He thought LQG would treat sex like a fight and take what he wanted without taking SQQ into consideration. Not so much as to actually hurt him and certainly not purposefully, but SQQ expects to have to do his best to make it pleasurable for himself despite LQG instead of because of LQG. He certainly didn't think LQG would listen to him if he told LQG what to do. NOT CONSENT WISE. He does not trust LQG. Not fully, not yet. But he does know him. And he trusts him enough that if he told LQG to stop, LQG would. No matter what. Otherwise he would never have slept with him.

But LQG is nothing like that. While he is by no means a passive participant, he follows SQQ's lead. He listens both to words and physical reactions. He doesn't demand. He doesn't take. He only allows himself what is offered while offering himself freely. The power is very clearly in SQQ's hands the entire encounter.

This works out much better than SQQ ever dreamed of. Which is terrible because this was supposed to get LQG out of his system, only now LQG is on his mind more than ever. He never considered that he could have a sexual encounter like this and certainly not with LQG. It never occurred to him that he would be the one in control. He liked it.

SQQ's theoretical knowledge did mostly come from the brothel. And from his time on the streets. He knows that sex can be a weapon. He knows just how it can be used to hurt and belittle a person. He knows the dangers, both physical and emotional because he learned from watching and listening to prostitutes at the Pavilion. He helped and cared for them when few others would and certainly none in his position. He treated them like they were people and worthwhile ones at that. There was not much they could offer in return besides shelter and a safe place for him to relax (as much as he would ever allow himself) and whatever knowledge they had of sex, whether or not he would ever use it.

So SQQ treats LQG /very/ well. They both have a good, exhausting time. SQQ takes care of LQG afterwards (because SQQ learned about sex etiquette from the prostitutes) and they fall asleep together.

Now the next morning could go with LQG waking up first. But he would either run for it to give SQQ space after realizing the disservice he did to his character so he could give SQQ space before attempting to make it up to him or he would stay and blunder his way through a conversation that neither of them are equipped to handle. Both end badly.

So instead, SQQ wakes up first. He wakes suddenly aware that there is someone next to him. It is not Qi-Ge. The breathing is wrong and there is skin pressed against his own. But, somehow, this doesn't set his skin crawling? He feels warm? Not safe exactly. He never feels safe, but the closest he's gotten to that for a very long time. He opens his eyes to LQG's peaceful (beautiful) face. He remembers.

He extracts himself. He dresses. His defenses slowly get build back up with each layer of clothing he puts on until his fan is in his hand, his hair bound, and he is himself again. But he hesitates. He faces LQG who sleeps on in his bed. In SQQ's space, his territory, his sanctuary. He looks like a work of art spread across his sheets. He feels like he is having an out of body experience. Like he is watching someone else's fingers gently, so very gently, whisper across LQG's cheek like they can scarcely believe he is truly there. He leaves.

LQG's eyes open.

He felt the moment SQQ got up. He kept his eyes closed not quite ready to face reality. Not until SQQ forced him to. He waited for the moment SQQ would wake him. Would demand he leave. Would verbally claw gaping wounds into the chinks in LQG's armor. Waited for things to return to normal as he heard SQQ pick up his fan. Waited for something that never came.

Instead of cold words meant to drive him away. To replace the invisible barriers between SQQ and the world. To jolt LQG back to reality where SQQ is beyond his reach. Instead, he feels the softest brush of trembling fingers against his cheek. And he is gutted.

LQG will never recover. SQQ touched him like he couldn't believe LQH was there anymore than LQG could believe SQQ was there. He touched LQG like he cared.

[zykamiliah]

I feel a little bad that one of your major impressions of me is my in depth feelings about YQY’s dong. But at the same time you did ask. Mostly I’ve read a few fics that have YQY as impotent and I feel like he wouldn’t have been a threat to LBH by the PIDW porn logic had he been impotent both sexually and emotionally. I love him so much, I just want him to be bullied the right way.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 i definitely don't have a complete impression of you, that would be rude xD but i do enjoy your insights!

i haven't read a lot of yqy fics but both headcanons are fun to play with. at least everyone agrees that he's Big, probably as big or bigger than Binghe.

mixing up all this ideas I think I like the thought of him simply repressing himself because 1)he'd need to have his sword close when he's having sex, specially if he's dual cultivating 2) if he extrapolate his relationship with his sword to how his dick behaves then yeah, he probably faints, or pass outs for hours after an orgasm.

i too want to bully him gently. it's good for him. someone needs to take care of that man

[purgatoryandme]

Ignoring the fact that this would 100% end in fire and brimstone, the idea just compels me, y'know? Especially because BingQiu have canonically terrible sex and SQQ is physically incapable of admitting that Binghe is bad at anything or communicating his feelings. At first he thinks it's better with LQG because of the aphrodisiacs. Then he thinks it's better because he's been on top - being on the bottom must hurt, naturally! But LQG seems to really enjoy it... He gets a little braver and more explorational, bottoms, and has his mind blown. Why is it good??? Is it because LQG is more familiar with swords? So he's also good with his "sword"???? He's stuck ruminating about it for days, which hilariously convince LQG that he didn't do a good job as a top and that he needs to improve. So when SQQ decides to test out bottoming again (for science!), he's even more horrified because it's BETTER? Liu juju this is unfair!!!!!!!!!! To his eternal embarrassment, he has no one to turn to but SQH. When he asks him if bottoming for MBJ is good, SQH says it is and goes on a tangent about the pain and the domination and the general demon-vibes of it all. SQQ is like "ah. we are. not into the same things. hm. never accounted for the idea that i may have preferences. this is something i will immediately suppress."

He bottoms for LBH. It hurts and Binghe cries about it. He's into (1) of those things. He may have always been into only (1) of those things. He is, to his horror, making an internal list of stuff he LIKES...sexually. SQQ has such a NEED to be normal (when he is objectively not) that he's like: there is no other option, I must ask the other peak lords what they think about having their chrysanthemum totaled.

MQF is an easy ask. He can totally pose this question in the context of dual cultivation and how demonic energy might effect it. He can be so smooth about it nobody will ever guess that his ass hurts.

He is not smooth. When MQF starts talking about the importance of communication, especially in """scenes"""", he starts sweating so much that he has to leave or be forcibly institutionalized.

YQY is an...interesting ask. He won't deny SQQ anything, but the question clearly physically pains him. Still, mouth twitching between a smile and grimace, he tells SQQ that dual cultivation is best practiced the way the person likes best, and that there is no 'right' and 'wrong' way beyond the Qi sharing. When SQQ, teeth gritted, asks him if most people prefer pain, YQY's eye twitches subtly. He's all: "Most people...do not." in a way that so clearly screams that he DOES that SQQ needs to flee immediately and also never look him in the eye again. The Peak Lords are all trembling Ms???????????? Is this what high cultivation does to you???????????????????????????

He's halfway through asking QQQ before it finally dawns on him that she's a woman. He tried to flee, but Liu Mingyan of all people starts ENTHUSIASTICALLY answering. He replies sound a little non-con and terrifyingly specific. He's scared.

If he had to guess, SQQ is pretty sure the rest of the peak lords have never gotten laid a day in their life. They were serving up "eternal virgin, my cultivation path is based in purity" vibes. Which meant...there was only LQG left to ask.

So he just...puts it off. Until oops, wife-plotted again. And when he's on top, looking at the way the LQG's eyelashes tremble and his body arches, he winds up blurting: "What do you like, when we're like this?"

And listen. LQG is so in love with him and so entrapped by the idea that he'll only ever get to have SQQ's body when it's strictly necessary. He's also severely compromised at the moment. He can't help but be incredibly embarrassing.

He likes when SQQ praises him! He likes when SQQ presses down on him, slow and sweet, and he likes it when they kiss even though the poison doesn't require it! He's destroyed every time SQQ brushes his lips or fingers over his tear mole, through the baby hairs that curl onto his forehead, or over his trembling eyelashes! He likes the way SQQ opens him up, teasing and tender and mean, and he likes it when they do it somewhere safe and comfortable and thoughtful! Being laid out on SQQ's robes is the best, especially when it's because SQQ thinks the bedsheets aren't good enough quality to touch LQG's skin!!

It's the answer SQQ has been looking for, but he isn't prepared to face it head on, let alone when it tips them both over the edge. Especially when he can't help but start round two by kissing that adorable little mole, when it makes LQG's eyes go glassy and his toes curl-

Somehow his backwards and upside down logic comes around to an almost correct answer. Clearly, the reason it's better with LQG is because LQG is so sensual and MEANT for this.

Still surprised at how few LiuShen affair drama fics exist post BingQiu marriage without it being a 3p setup. Firstly, aphrodisiacs are everywhere in PIDW! The solution to 99% of problems in papapa! Second, SQQ has a long established history of being too curious for his own good and LQG has a history of travelling with him, despite LBH's jealousy. Third, SQQ's inner narration about LQG never shuts up about how pretty he is AND you know SQQ is perfectly capable of doing some truly wild mental gymnastics to justify not only starting an affair, but also keeping it a secret. Just imagine five years down the line, SQQ is casually just like "ah yes, me and Liu-shidi have an agreement whenever we are poisoned" because he's lied to himself so hard he not only believes that this is normal but also that everyone knows.

[tossawary]

(reading your idea abt a new svsss fic) oh yeah thats funny, haha ooh i like that, lol poor yqy- Wait shang qinghua hooks up with WHO

Shang Qinghua/Original Shen Qingqiu probably wouldn’t end up being the endgame ship because I’m still a Moshang fan and hey, maybe they’d fuck up actually having sex because they’re both idiots and also probably drunk. But, hey, I just think they’re a really fun potential friendship and fun potential friends-with-benefits-ship too! They’re both such bitter assholes. 

It’s funny to me to imagine Shen Jiu lounging on Shang Qinghua’s bed and going, “That was very bad wine. I’m going to throw up on you.” And Shang Qinghua being like, “Haha, sexy. Please don’t, though; here’s a bowl; I’ll hold your hair. Hey, want to hear some fucked up things about Yue Qingyuan?” 

My thinking is that Shang Qinghua, even letting loose, would still be a little too chickenshit to immediately ask Mobei-Jun if he wants to have sex. That’s getting a little too personal. 

[baoshan-sanren]

any yqy/lqg postcanon fics?

no 😞

there's a really good sex-pollen ficlet I know of - all i ask of you by p0rth0s but overall, there's a serious lack of yqy/lqg content

there are literally more lqg/mqf fics than yqy/lqg, and while I do love every single lqg-centric pairing (BC LIU QINGGE DESERVES TO BE LOVED) it makes no sense to me like

especially post-canon bc sqq and lbh are off being happily married, which essentially removes the thing both yqy and lqg's lives revolved around previously, leaving them at loose ends, I mean the potential

yue qingyuan has so many sqq related issues to resolve anyway, and a heap of secrets none of the others in the sect know, like this bad boy can fit so much angst in him (and don't get me started on liu-i'm-not-attracted-to-sqq-qingge and his issues)

but it also has so much potential for comedy like, imagine them both trying to woo each other while both are convinced the other person is in love with sqq

pls I would pay

[delicioussshame]

I had a dumb wife swap idea, and while I’m never writing it, I’m kind of invested in the setup now, so here you go.

Okay, so we’ve got OLBH, only son of rich as fuck couple SXY and TLJ. Who got him a tutor, SJ, to raise him well. But SJ being SJ, he did not like LBH. When LBH grew up, he ended up accepting it and using his phenomenal playboy skills to hatesex his way into SJ’s bed. I’m thinking they got fucked up somewhere they shouldn’t have and got publicly found out in compromising positions. It’s a scandal, and SJ’s career is ruined. TLJ pushes for a marriage of convenience to weather the storm. SJ figures he’s got nothing to lose, in fact he could think of worse things than being LBH’s trophy wife, since they both agree monogamy with each other isn’t something they’re interested in. They’re fine with the other doing whatever they want to do as long as they keep it on the down-low.

Meanwhile, you’ve got SY and YQY. I’m thinking they went to the same school and ended up friends when SY was kind of nice to him after he moved away from SJ. YQY probably is a scholarship kid to SY’s fancy school. YQY is more than fine with SY’s sometimes abrasive side, since he’s nothing compared to SJ. It’s YQY who makes the first move, because SY looks kind of like SJ and while they’re not that alike, it’s good enough, not that YQY is aware that’s why he did it. SY goes along with it because YQY is nice and good looking and SY can be a go with the flow kind of person. YQY works himself up to a really prestigious job and asks SY to marry him. SY ends up staying at home and doing nothing, cause of course they’ve got maids and all that shit, and that suits him just fine. All of it just kind of happened. They’re both convinced they’re in love with each other, even though they’re not, because why wouldn’t they be? They get along fine, they’re not repulsed by each other, they’ve been together forever. They just separately think they’re in a rough pass, and it’ll, well, pass. Except it’s been like that for years.

How the fuck do they end up swaping partners via reality tv? SQH entered SY, and had his boyfriend sign up his dysfunctional boss. SQH was also a scholarship kid, and so he knows both SY and YQY from way back. He probably kind of tried to keep them apart when he realised it would never work out, but when does anyone listen to SQH?

Everyone is downright appalled at the idea of appearing in reality tv. Until SJ learns who he’s matched with, and then... He’s not sure what he’s going to do, but he has to know. YQY, when he finds out, is similarly astonished and terrified/exalted at the idea of welcoming SJ as his spouse. They both push for this to happen, with SJ assuring LBH that there is exactly zero chance of this making it to tv. Bribes will be paid, people will be threatened, whatever necessary. SJ just wants to make YQY’s life hell for a little while. YQY assures SY the same thing, just less visibly threatening. SY ends up agreeing because maybe it could help their pretty boring relationship? LBH is an ass, so he agrees because he doesn’t mind letting SJ ruining other people’s lives for once, and SY is hot. Who cares if he ruins someone else’s marriage? He wouldn’t mind hitting that.

So SY moves into LBH’s place. LBH is instantly 100% charm, cause he’s getting that in his bed, thanks. His resolve only grows as the days pass and he realises he actually likes SY. SY, meanwhile, kind of hate himself for how attracted he is to LBH. He hasn’t reacted like that to YQY in... he never reacted like that to YQY. But he won’t cheat on him. YQY deserves better from him. So it’s hell.

SJ arrives and pretty quickly has very similar goals to LBH. YQY grew up fine, and it’s obvious he’s not immune to SJ. This is a modern AU, so there isn’t a dramatic betrayal in their shared past. YQY just moved on to better things while SJ struggled in their original, shitty neighborhood/school. YQY probably had much nicer parents than SJ’s, maybe some lowkey abuse, but not like, rape or heavy physical abuse. SJ probably stayed over a couple times when they fought too badly. That’s why YQY feels guilty for having left SJ behind and why SJ kind of feel like YQY owes him. I think YQY ends up folding like a wet blanket and they fuck like, everywhere for three days straight.

So when this thing ends and SY returns home, he’s welcome to an horribly guilty YQY that tells him he cheated on him and they’re getting a divorce, because he realised what he was missing and he can’t continue like this. He tells SY that he’ll get all the alimony he wants and then some, that YQY will set him up for life, not to worry.

SY is flabbergasted, obviously. He was Not expecting this. But it is evident that YQY won’t change his mind, and anyway SY has too much pride to try to get back someone who cheated on him while SY himself respected his vows.

So he calls LBH and is like “How shitty can your marriage be for both you to hit on me and your husband to sleep with mine?” And LBH is like “Very, but also arranged and open, so I give no fuck.” And SY is like “Oh. Okay then why don’t I come by and you can make me forget this whole thing via sex?” LBH is very into this, so that’s what they do. LBH fucks SY until he’s mindless, and he looks at SY, whom he likes, remember? and tells himself it might be nice to be with someone who would be upset at the idea of losing him, because even if SY and YQY’s relationship was obviously not the stuff of fairy tales, anyone can see that SY cared. So when SY wakes up, LBH tells him that this was nice, but also probably a super bad idea, and SY should milk every cent he can out of YQY, set himself up somewhere nice, take a couple months of vacation, and call him when he’s ready so they can date.

SY blinks. He hasn’t dated in... Forever. YQY was his one and only. He realised it is indeed way too soon to do anything but cry and sue YQY, so he acquiesces and leaves.

Life returns to normal for LBH, except not really. SJ is gone all the time. After a while, LBH catches him and asks him when they’re getting a divorce. SJ blinks and is like, never, our marriage is for appearances, I don’t care. LBH tells him it was fine when they were both keeping to anonymous hookup and meaningless flings, but SJ has pretty much moved out. He’ll get caught, and LBH will 100% throw him under the bus as the cheating scumbag he is. So they’d better get a divorce before that happens. He gleefully reminds him of the prenup/contract/whatever he signed before the marriage that means that he gets nada, btw. Not that it’s going to be an issue, since YQY is doing well enough for himself.

SJ is kind of pissed, because he was fully planning to leach off LBH for as long as he could. He thought LBH wouldn’t care. But nah. So off to get divorce lawyers they go.

And that’s pretty much it. LBH and SY starts dating. SJ and YQY get married pretty much as soon as the divorce is finalised, as everyone looks on in horror at that shitshow. They can’t believe YQY did that to SY. SQH spends the rest of his life apologising, except not really because things did turn out better.

[reallygrosssvsssthoughts]

There's nothing YQY loves more than spoiling SJ. He buys him pretty jewelry and beautiful robes and fuck him silly while he wears them. He especially likes it when SJ let's him draped delicate golden chain jewelry all over his body.

The ringing of the rustling chains during thrusts is like music to both their ears, and soon YQY buys tiny bells to decorate SJ’s body and make a proper symphony. Usually some part of SJ is withdrawn during sex, just a bit removed from the situation to hide away his shame or pride or bad memories. But YQY loves to watch SJ come out of his shell when he’s dripping with jewels, loves to watch him stretch out and arch towards him, showing himself off to seduce his QI-ge.

[savetopnow]

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[zykamiliah]

#i really love this take and i agree with tou#but i also think that this is because LQG takes the role that his sister and the rest of the original harem have shed#he's a wife ���� for Shen Yuan rather than Luo Binghe but his character is so seperate from the rest because of this#you're absolutely right he has no PIDW characterisation and that lets him be free to fully imbody the new genre of SVSSS#and that's to be a love interest LQG has a wife halo (i.e. Shizun likes him halo) and that's why Binghe didn't murk him (@a-queer-in-spaceland)

ok so if we're leaning into this interpretation, then

yqy is the childhood shixiong from the past, but disconnected from the sqq of today (nyy's role, the protector who failed, who will lose his mind with grief for 5 years)

lqg is the peerless beauty, righteous and virtuous, with whom sqq will never have sex despite how much fans like peerless cucumber cry for it (lmy's role, the partner that helps them achieve his goals. there's a lot of mutual respect and honor involved)

gyx is the hhp's prince who comes to his rescue in a bad time (qin sister's role, his ally in hhp that allows him to get out of the prison [while in bingge's case it was about infiltrating it])

zzl is the demon that's madly in love with sqq (shl's role)

and sqh is sqq's mbj

EDIT: FUCK i forgot about binghe!!!!

I don't know what he is honestly. probably all of the above???? is he in the lpm's role???? he's a demon he's royal he has History with sqq, he's a peerless beauty. he also got mad with grief.

is he the ultimate wife!?!?

eternally fascinated by liu qingge being the one character that seems to be out of airplane's authorial subconscious projection for the simple reason that he was dead in canon. you can tell he's just different from yue qingyuan, original shen qingqiu, luo binghe, zhuzhi-lang. he doesn't have any of the landmarks of being a pidw character: he's neither simple canon fodder to be slapped aside by bingge, nor is he self-deprecating and self-hating to the point it ruins his own life. he's not suffering for being unloved. he knows his place in the world. in many ways, this makes him stronger than a lot of other characters. the only thing he has in common with the characters mentioned above is the loyalty thing. (and the gayness, though i'd argue he's more queer and leaning towards asexual, but this is just a headcanon). he's an unstoppable force and an immovable object.

he's just. really damn cool, it's all.