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kidstemplatte · 1 year ago

Text

the greatest

summary: cardinal copia becomes a father.

warnings: brief mention of suicide || wc: 8.3k

notes: reader is terzo's wife. i recommend checking out my other works to learn more about the (now expanding) family! message at the end as per usual, enjoy <3

“You’d be a good Papa.”

His niece’s kind words still echoed in his mind, even after nearly five years.

The Cardinal had wanted to become a father for quite some time now but wasn’t sure if he was fit for the job. He was a bit of a child, which could be considered a pro or a con; the upside being he was fun and pure-hearted, the downside that he could be a tad chaotic.

When Copia was summoned to Sister Imperator’s office, he assumed it was because he had forgotten to turn off the stove again or left the sink running, habits from his youth he was yet to abandon even as a middle-aged man. Bracing himself for another lecture, the Cardinal took a deep breath in and out before knocking three times on the sturdy oak door.

“Come in.” A hoarse voice rang from within the room.

Copia gently pushed the door open and entered the lavish office. Sister Imperator’s office couldn’t differ anymore from the Cardinal’s, sporting a classy yet minimalistic aesthetic decked in shades of brown and black. Meanwhile, Copia’s office had “Copia” written all over it in big cartoonish block letters, thanks to the dozens of figurines and comic books lining the shelves, as well as other dorky memorabilia. Sister Imperator sat behind her meticulously organized desk, her clasped hands resting on the polished wood.

“Hello, Sister.” Copia greeted the woman formally, bowing his head as he took a seat in the plush chair across from hers.

“Cardinal.” She returned the greeting with a brief nod, before instantly diving into her reason for his summoning. “Do you recall, a few years back, when a Sister of the Austrian chapter took her own life?” she inquired.

Of course he did, how could he not? It was a tragic day, each chapter holding its own memorial ceremony for the young woman.

“Oh. Sì, I do.” Copia answered, saddened at the remembrance of the event.

“Well, she had a son additionally, who had an absent father.”

Been there.

“They have done their best to take care of the boy since he was just a newborn- he’s resided in the church his whole life- but as he’s gotten older, they’ve decided it’s simply not fit for him to grow up without a permanent system of support.” She explained.

Copia suddenly became much more alert, his eyes widening and posture straightening. “You mean… a family?”

“C, if you’re interested…”

Sister Imperator noticed a longing in her son’s eyes that she had not seen in a long time- not since he was but a child brimming with curiosity, a subtle glow that surfaced only when he wanted something deeply, most of the time, an answer- but this time- it was more than curiosity, it was yearning. “Now would be the time.”

“Yes.” The Cardinal blurted out. “Yes.”

“The adoption process is not easy- let alone raising a child. This is a massive responsibility. Are you sure you can handle this on top of a Cardinal’s duties?” She cautioned him.

“Yes, Mother.” He reiterated.

She froze.

“I want this more than anything.” He pleaded.

“I will notify them of your consideration.” She nodded.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. Grazie. Grazie.” The Cardinal repeated like a mantra, placing his hands together as he bowed his head in gratitude.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Gently shutting the door to your son’s room, you walked down the hall and into the living space, pleasantly surprised to see your brother-in-law sitting in a lounge chair across from the couch. “Hi, Copia! What a nice surprise.” You greeted him with a smile. “Sorry, I just put Vinnie to bed. Am I allowed to join, or is this a brother talk?”

“Please, join us.” Copia gestured. “Is Violetta here?” he asked.

“Oh, she’s in her room. She’s not feeling very well tonight.”

“Oh, I am sorry to hear that, let her know I said hello.” Copia responded.

“Will do. So, what is going on?” Terzo asked, reaching to the coffee table in front of him and pouring his brother a glass of wine.

Copia took a deep breath in and began. “Sister Imperator called me into her office today and gave me some news.”

“News that..?”

You elbowed Terzo in response to his impatience. “Let the man speak!”

“Eh, do you remember when a woman of the Austrian chapter, um… She took her own life?”

“Johanna?” You asked.

“You knew her?”

“Not too personally, but yes. I met her years back when I studied briefly in Innsbruck. She was a lovely woman.” You recalled, sadness beginning to tug at your heart. “Sorry, continue.” You dismissed yourself, knowing if you continued, there would surely be a few tears.

“Oh, no, do not apologize. Please, continue, if you are comfortable.”

“Okay.” you sniffled, laughing nervously. “There’s not much else, it’s just- it was sad. My bad, go on.”

Your husband placed a loving hand over yours, a subtle way he reminded you that you were safe with him.

Copia nodded. “Well, she had a son, who has lived in the church his whole life. But, um, they are considering finding him a more traditional… family.” He explained.

“Here?” Terzo inquired.

“Si, ah… with me.”

“You are adopting him?”

“If everything goes according to plan, yes.” He replied slightly hesitantly.

“You’re gonna be a dad, Copia!” You nearly cried, your face lighting up with joy.

He laughed, a smile grazing his face at the idea. “Ah, well, we don’t know for sure yet. The process is a bit difficult. I fear it won’t work out.”

“Copia, you can’t mourn the loss of something that’s just beginning!” You encouraged him.

“Do you think Sister Imperator would ever propose such a thing to someone she didn’t trust could do it?” pointed out Terzo.

“That is a good point,” Copia replied. “I just… even if it works out… what if I am not… good?” He rambled anxiously.

“Not good? Our kids can’t get enough of you.” Terzo reassured his brother.

The Cardinal smiled at the thought of his niece and nephew.

“So what do you know about him?” You asked eagerly.

“Well, ah, that’s actually all I know… And that he’s four years old.”

“Oh my gosh! He’s the same age as Vinnie! It was meant to be!” You gushed, excitedly waving your hands. “Copia. I think it’s gonna happen. I really, really do.”

“Thank you, Y/N.” He expressed his gratitude with a heartfelt smile.

“Mommy?” You heard a voice squeak in the distance.

Turning around in your spot on the couch, a small figure stood down the hallway.

“Hi, Vinnie. What’s wrong?” You asked, a gentle tone adorning your voice. “Excuse me, I’ll be back.” You told your brother-in-law and husband as you rose to your son’s aid.

“Copia.” Terzo addressed his brother, his voice suddenly earnest.

“Yes?”

“When have I ever lied to you?”

Pondering the question and recalling no particular incident, he shrugged.

“Exactly. You can do this,” stated Terzo, his words few yet meaningful, clearly touching the heart of his beloved half-brother.

“Thank you, Terzo.”

Terzo smiled, his eyes conveying a depth of sincerity. “I mean it, fratello.”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

The Cardinal closed the door to his small abode and let out a hefty sigh. His expression softened a little as he caught sight of the large cage sitting on a table against the wall, inside containing two furry friends. Inside the enclosure stood a gray rat, once brown, perched on his hind feet and clutching onto the metal bars, eagerly waiting for his Papa’s return.

“Ciao, Bean.” Copia cooed, opening the drawer below his cage and opening their bag of food. “I’m guessing your brother is…” Copia scanned his eyes around the cage, his suspicions confirmed once he noticed Pesto’s nose peeking out from a small wooden hideout. “Ah, did I wake you up, my Bestie Pestie? I apologize. Buon appetito, little ones.” He said, opening their cage and pouring their food as the little rodents scurried to their bowls.

That night, the Cardinal felt inclined to do something he hadn’t done in a long time.

Overwhelmed with an immense sense of desperation, Copia prayed on his own in the solitude of his room. He knelt beside his bed, knees on the hardwood floor as he placed his hands together and shut his eyes tight, a soft sigh escaping his lips before he began his prayer.

“Tua empietà, so che è passato un po' di tempo. perdonami, ti prego, ma devo chiederti una cosa. per favore, satana, concedimi il dono della paternità, per favore. Farò qualsiasi cosa, viaggerò all'inferno e ritorno, per trasformare questo sogno in realtà. Prego che il ragazzo stia bene e al sicuro e trovi la sua nuova casa tra le mura del clero.”

And just as Copia was lying in bed, about to doze off, he opened his heavy eyes; and through the darkness of the room caught sight of a poster featuring a cat, reading “Hang in there, baby!”, a silly yet needed reminder for Copia to persevere.

He needed this. More than he had ever needed anything in his entire life.

Little did he know, the boy needed him just as much.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Throughout the next few months, the adoption process was proven to be just as lengthy and overwhelming as it was described as, the heightened levels of anxiety meaning Copia frequently had trouble sleeping, finding himself spending late nights in the Clergy’s grand library. Basking in the comfort of a large plush chair a few feet from the crackling fireplace, Copia was nose-deep in a book entitled “Raising Your Children With Satan.”

“Can’t sleep?” A voice said just a few feet from where the Cardinal sat in the plush armchair. Looking up, Copia was faced with his eldest brother, Primo.

“Primo! What are you-”

“I had a feeling you might be here.” The man reckoned. “I understand these are stressful times, but you need to get some rest, for Satan’s sake! You look exhausted!”

“Ay, but that’s why I can’t sleep! I just toss and turn in bed for hours and hours until I give up.” He complained, punctuating his sentence with a sigh.

“You know I have all sorts of remedies for that. Why did you not ask me?”

“I… I don’t know. I guess I felt like I was already asking too much of people.” The Cardinal admitted, sighing and setting his book down on the table beside him.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think you’ve asked a single thing of me throughout this whole process.”

Copia opened his mouth to respond, but no retaliations were heard as he realized that Primo was, in fact, correct. As usual. “I suppose… that is true.”

“Indeed it is. But I want to let you know you can always ask anything of me, Copia. I am not a father, but you could say I’ve done my fair share of parenting.” He chuckled. “And beyond that, I’m your brother, I’m here for you no matter what the issue is. Even if I cannot relate fully.” He comforted Copia, reaching across and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you. I’m just… very scared.” The Cardinal admitted.

“Why is that?” questioned Primo.

“I have no idea what I’m doing. Parenting. I just… I have- no idea.”

Parenting?

Just outside the walls of the library, Violetta, unable to fall asleep, stood with her ear pressed against the door, her mouth agape as she began to piece together the fragments of the conversation. Her uncle, Copia, had been notably distant lately, and now, standing on the precipice of this revelation, she couldn't help but wonder if this- parenting- was the reason. Primo's laughter, warm and familiar, seeped through the walls, filling the air with a sense of camaraderie.

"Nobody does, fratello. Do you know how scared Terzo was? He was at my door practically every other night, rambling to me because he was too concerned he would further stress (Y/N) with all his worries."

Violetta's heart fluttered with a mix of emotions. Thrilled by the news that her beloved uncle was going to be a father, she couldn't shake the twinge of hurt that accompanied the realization that she hadn't been enlightened of this information. Her young mind grappled with conflicting sentiments—elation for the impending addition to the family, yet a pang of longing for the connection she wished she had shared with Copia. As the weight of the revelation settled, tears began to well up in her eyes, her heart aching while she turned around and silently made her way back to her room.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

6 months had passed since Sister Imperator gave her son the news: There was a little boy in Innsbruck, Austria, who needed a permanent system of support. Or, in normal people terms, a family. And there Copia sat in the very same chair he did on that first day, anxiously leaning forward while Sister Imperator gave him an even better piece of news: he had found one.

“It’s official.”

It was like time froze; the months of meetings and paperwork, and beyond that, years of longing, had all led up to this pivotal moment.

“I- we- it’s been finalized?” Copia exclaimed. “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.”

Sister Imperator suddenly felt a surge in her heart, upon witnessing her son’s ecstatic reaction.

“Congratulations, Copia. You’re a father.”

Thank Satan Copia always kept a handkerchief in his pocket.

“…C?”

“I know I was not a perfect mother. And, I…” She hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “I want to do better this time around as a grandmother. And a mother. You are my family, and I’ve been quiet about that. It is the biggest regret I’ve ever had. But you, Copia, are not a secret. You are my son.” She confessed, reaching across the desk to place her hand over Copia’s. “And I am proud of you.”

“Thank you, Mother.”

“I love you, Copia.”

“I love you too.”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Copia spent the next few weeks frantically preparing for the arrival of the new family member. His Cardinal’s suite he had resided in for years was now empty, as he was moving into a larger suite with an extra bedroom and bathroom. The man was beyond stressed- He didn’t know how to properly decorate a room for a child, let alone assemble the furniture. Copia was quite satisfied with the simple layout of his old room, with strikingly lavish decor consisting of a pull-out bed, lava lamp, and a cat poster that read, “Hang in there, Baby!” Yeah, he was definitely taking that. Unsure at first who to ask for help, the Cardinal realized the person best suited for the job was his dear sister-in-law.

“This is such a nice space!” You gawked, following him into the room that would soon belong to the young boy. “And it has such a nice view!” Walking to the window, you were astonished to see the room was just in view of the Clergy’s beautiful garden and somber forest behind it. “Okay, so I think since it’s a twin bed, it should go against this wall,” you suggested. "There’s gonna still be some space after assembling this stuff,” you gestured to the boxes lying against the wall, “but maybe we should leave some space so he can pick what he wants.”

“Okie dokie. Sounds good. Shall we get to work?” Copia prompted.

Your attempt to build the bed was short-lived, you and your brother-in-law soon cackling loudly at your evident lack of skills.

“Damn you, IKEA,” Copia chuckled, squinting at the fine print on the instruction manual.

“What’s going on in here?” You heard a familiar voice echo through the bare room, your husband walking inside and noticing you two were having some trouble with the task at hand.

“We’re just, ah... struggling a bit with this furniture.” Copia laughed, gesturing to the various pieces in front of him.

“I know just the ghoul who can assist,” Terzo replied.

“Oh, it’s fine, we can figure it out-”

“Nonsense! Omega!” Terzo clapped his hands, to which the ghoul quite literally appeared out of thin air. “Hello, Omega!” chimed Terzo, who loved nothing more than to torment the poor man.

“Hello, Papa. Copia. Y/N.” Omega greeted you.

“Would you be a dear and assemble this furniture for my dear brother?”

“It- it has instruc-“

“Yes, and so do you, silly ghoul!” Terzo said, reaching to pat the tall man on the back and holding his hand out towards the unassembled bedframe.

Omega sighed and chuckled, “Yes, Papa.”

“Thank you, Omega.”

Suddenly, Terzo crept behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, your eyes widening in fear of his next words, though your face heated up at his contact. Your husband, though you loved him dearly, often had little-to-no filter regarding intimate matters, and his sudden affection warned you he was about to let something slip. “It feels like just yesterday we were making Omega set up the nursery…” He reminisced.

“Terzo, ‘we’ is you. I didn’t make him do anything.” You laughed.

“You know, maybe we’ll do the next one ourselves.” he suggested wickedly, completely ignoring the innocent bystanders in the room.

“The next one? No, sir.” You swatted his wandering hand.

“I’m going to put this drill through my ears.” You heard Omega mumble in the corner.

“So, Copia! Three weeks! That’s so soon!” You exclaimed. "We're gonna tell the kids tomorrow." You announced, grinning at the thought of their reactions.

"Oh boy. I wonder how they will react."

"They will be beyond thrilled." Terzo reassured Copia.

Through the window, the sky was fading into a hazy orange. “Papa, don’t you have a meeting soon?” Omega asked his boss, who was known for being just a tad forgetful.

“I appreciate your help, dear Omega, but the meeting is on Thursday.” He said assuredly, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Today is Thursday.”

“What- it is?” Terzo exclaimed, checking his watch, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he realized he had a mere minute to make it to his office. “Shit!” Terzo began dashing out of the room, then spun around on his heels as he realized he had forgotten something very important. Leaning towards you, your husband gave you your ritual-esque goodbye kiss, pecking you on the cheek before turning around once again and bolting off.

“If he can do it, so can you.” You laughed with your brother-in-law, beginning to assist Omega with his newly-assigned task.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Violetta couldn’t sleep. She figured there might be someone else who couldn’t either, someone she hadn’t spoken to in a while. Carefully tiptoeing through the dark hall and down the stairs, she made her way to the library with deliberate caution. Entering the library, she caught sight of Copia sitting in a cozy armchair, nose deep in a book, completely oblivious of her presence, as he had seemingly been for the past few months. His eyes darted up as he caught sight of his 10-year-old niece in her pajamas, standing by the entrance with her arms crossed.

“Violetta!” He exclaimed, frantically shutting the book and setting it aside. “What are you doing up so late?”

“I dunno. Sometimes I walk around at night when I can’t sleep. But, uh, I also thought you might be here.” His niece answered anxiously.

“Eh- Why do you think that?”

She shrugged, an awkward silence plaguing the room before Violetta broke the ice. “Is that a parenting book?” She asked, pointing to the book Copia had tossed aside.

“Uh…” Clearly, it was a parenting book. It had the word “PARENTING” engraved on the spine in shiny gold lettering- there was no way for him to play it off. “Yes.”

“Why are you reading a parenting book?” Before her uncle could respond, she immediately regretted asking, feeling uneasy about the question. It wasn't a lie, per se, but it felt dishonest considering she was well aware of the reason. “Actually… I’m sorry. I know why.” She confessed, looking at the ground, a sense of guilt flooding her heart.

Copia was dumbfounded. How did she find out? It’s not that he was upset she knew, he just didn’t understand how that came to be- he was positive Terzo didn’t tell her, nor the other brothers. Had he let something slip?

“How did you find out?” Copia asked.

“I… I heard a conversation you and Primo had in here. I’m sorry I listened. I didn’t tell anyone. I promise.” she confessed, her voice becoming shaky as her eyes remained glued to the ground.

“Oh, Violetta, it’s okay.”

“…Okay.” She said, still feeling guilty.

“I'm sorry Violetta, you do not have to cry, it’s okay. I promise, it is. I didn’t want to keep anything secret from you, I was just scared that if things did not go as planned, it would disappoint you.” He reassured her, his voice gentle and caring.

“I didn’t disappoint you, right?” Violetta sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes as she looked him in the eyes once again.

“No, no, no- I would have done the same thing. In fact, I’m very impressed and honored that you kept it a secret. That is not easy.” He lovingly comforted her.

Violetta smiled. “Thanks.”

“I'm sorry I have not spent much time with you recently... I have been so busy. But he is almost here, after all this time.”

“He?”

“Ay, I really can’t keep my mouth shut, can I?” he laughed. “Well, I might as well tell you more since I’ve already begun…” he figured, patting the arm of the seat next to him.

Violetta smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes as she took a seat beside him. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, my dear Violetta.”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Though Violetta unconventionally discovered her uncle’s secret, her brother’s reaction was a drastically different experience. You and Terzo called your son into the living room, to which he bolted in and looked up at you with his sparkling mismatched eyes.

“Vinnie, do you want to hear something very exciting?” Terzo cheerfully asked his son, picking him up and placing him into his lap as he bounced his leg up and down, often one of the few ways to keep him from moving around on his own.

“Yes! Please! Please!” Vinnie begged, giggling.

“You have a cousin that’s going to be here very soon!” Terzo informed him.

“What?!” Vinnie gawked.

“Yes! Your Uncle Copi is going to adopt a boy who’s exactly your age!” You exclaimed, sitting beside them on the couch.

“Yay!!! What’s adopt?” Vinnie tilted his head.

“You know Violetta’s good friend Carmen?” You asked him.

“Yeah!”

“Do you remember her two mommies?”

“Yeah!”

“They adopted Carmen. She was born somewhere else but then she became their baby!” You continued.

“Oh, okay,” Vinnie responded.

“And Uncle Copi is adopting a son from Austria!” You explained enthusiastically.

“With the koalas?”

Terzo chuckled. “You’re very close, Vinnie. That’s Australia.” He said, ruffling his son's hair.

“Oh, I get it. He’s in…”

“Austria.” You assisted him.

“He’s in Austria now and he’s gonna be here! And now Uncle Copia is going to be his Papa.” Vinnie processed.

“Sì!”

“Okay. Yay! When do I get to meet my new cousin?” Your son asked eagerly.

“Two weeks.” You replied.

“Two whole weeks?” Vinnie repeated as you had just informed him he would have to wait a millennium. “I thought you said soon!”

“I know, we’re all very excited.” Terzo added, amused by his son’s enthusiasm.

“I’m so excited! Yay, cousin!” The little boy started kicking his feet, a telltale sign that he needed to let some energy out. Vinnie was a little fireball, constantly moving. While Violetta grew up satisfied with playing in the comfort of her room, her brother was like a windup toy, exhibiting bursts of energy before inevitably crashing and needing to rest. “Can I go outside?” He asked, pointing at the door.

You and Terzo were familiar with Vinnie’s harmless need to release his energy and sought to embrace it rather than suppress it. Terzo chuckled, gently placing his son on the ground, walking over to the door and opening it. Vinnie wasted no time, darting through the doorway at lightning speed while you and Terzo laughed.

“He’s so adorable.” You observed your son, zooming around in circles around the grass like a little Tasmanian devil.

“I hope he never grows out of his spark.” Terzo chuckled.

“He won’t. Not as long as you’re his Papa.”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Soon, the long-awaited day arrived. Copia and Sister Imperator stood in anticipation by the doors of the entrance. Though he was incredibly fearful, he had been waiting for this day his entire life, he put on a brave face. He couldn’t let his nerves show. Not now. Who was he to be afraid when the poor boy was certainly terrified and confused beyond measure? It was Copia’s responsibility to ensure the boy felt safe and welcome in the Clergy; he couldn’t do that if he himself was displaying unease. The solemn moment was interrupted by a knock on the door, making Copia jolt in shock. His mother, noticing his panic, placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft yet reassuring smile.

“In,” she gently instructed, the two breathing in, a ritual they often did when Copia was younger and feeling anxious, “And out.”

Copia exhaled his worries, letting them disappear into the air, smiling at his mother before opening the door and being faced with a social worker and a little boy. He had blonde hair, dusty freckles, and a pair of glimmering blue eyes, wearing a pair of blue headphones of sorts around his neck. His eyes spastically darted around, to the ground, to the door, to the sky, to the walls of the church, and for a brief moment, Copia. The poor boy was visibly petrified, having been through a lot of travel and confusion that was surely enough to rattle his young mind, gripping the straps of his backpack tightly.

“Hello, Augustus.” Copia greeted the boy. We’re very happy to have you here.”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

The walk to the suite was silent, minus the sound of echoing footsteps in the grand hallway. “How are you, Augustus?” He broke the silence.

The little boy held out a thumbs up. Copia decided to continue speaking, not necessarily looking for a response, but to lighten the air.

“I know you are from Austria. I myself have never been, but I want to go. Maybe one day you can take me. But first you'll have to get your pilot's license. That was a dream I once had: to be a pilot. But, alas, I am afraid of heights. And look! We are here!” he announced, gesturing to the door of their suite.

After a small tour of the new space, Copia finally led Augustus to his bedroom. “I apologize, it’s a little boring right now, but we will fix it up in no time. However you like.” He said, opening the door for Augustus. The room was fairly empty minus the essentials: a bed, dresser, nightstand, rug. Despite the room’s humble appearance, Augustus’s eyes lit up enlivened at the idea of having his own space. “You can either stay here, or we can look around more. Up to you.”

Augustus paused to think for a moment, then pointed to the door.

“Okie dokie, we can explore. Do you want to see the library?” Copia inquired.

His eyes lit up.

“Library?”

Yes! A word! Thank you, Satan! A choir of angels sang in Copia’s head as he celebrated this small yet mighty victory.

“Yes, we have a rather nice library! Would you like to go?” He questioned.

“Yes!” Augustus chirped.

Copia and Augustus exited the bedroom, walking through the living space and to the front door.

“Are you ready to go?” Copia asked.

Augustus seemed conflicted, his gaze drifting off to somewhere else in the room. “Is… is something-“ Copia, lost on what to do, awkwardly looked aside, until a bright blue object caught his eye- something he must have set aside during their tour. “Eh… Oh. You want your headphones?” He asked.

Augustus nodded, a small smile forming on his face. Copia walked to the counter and picked up the headphones, approaching Augustus once again. Crouching down to be at eye level with the little boy, he extended the headphones toward him. “Here you go, good sir!”

Augustus smiled appreciatively and took them into his hands.

“Where we are about to go is very quiet. But, of course, you can still wear them if you’d like.” the Cardinal consoled gently.

“Okay. Just in case.” Augustus replied, placing them around his neck.

“Just in case.” Copia reiterated. “Ready?”

“Okie dokie.” Augustus said, holding out a thumbs up.

Copia and Augustus walked through the halls of the abbey as the boy eyed his surroundings curiously, counting each brick on the wall as they passed through.

"This is our library," Copia declared as they entered the large doors, a sense of pride evident in his voice. Though the library was nearly ancient, he had played a large part in its organization. Augustus’s eyes twinkled with wonder as he stared in awe at the utopia surrounding him, lined wall-to-wall with books of all kinds.

“Very cool, right?”

Augusted smiled wide and nodded, looking up to meet eyes with Copia, which made his heart warm.

“Do you have a favorite book?” Copia asked Augustus.

“The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.” he answered, nearly instantly.

Copia’s jaw dropped. One, because clearly this kid was a genius, two, because that was a book he held dear to his heart, and three, because that was the longest phrase he had uttered the whole day.

“Wow, that’s a big kid book. You must be a very smart boy. I happen to love that book, though I certainly wasn’t reading it at your age. Have you read the others?” he asked.

He tilted his head, not fully understanding Copia’s question.

“The story continues in other books.” He explained.

“Really?” He asked, his eyes widening in excitement.

“Yes, it’s a series. And whaddya know…” Copia trailed his finger across the vast collection of books as he strolled along the shelves, until-

“They’re all right here!” exclaimed Copia, who had led them both to the fiction section of the library.

Augustus’s head nearly exploded at this newly found information, a large smile spreading across his face.

“And there are movies.” Copia informed him.

The boy’s jaw dropped. “Movies?”

Oh, this was gonna be great.

In the middle of their lighthearted conversation appeared Secondo, in the mood for some refined literature. His facial expression molded into a soft smile as he observed Copia and the young boy discussing the classic novel.

Copia caught sight of his older brother in the corner of his eye. "Oh! Hello there!" He greeted his brother as he made his way towards them. "Augustus, this is your Uncle Secondo."

"Hello to you, Augustus. I'm Secondo. It is very nice to meet you.” Secondo said warmly, reaching out his much larger hand and shaking the boy's. “Nice, strong handshake. Good for you.” Secondo praised the boy with a smile. “And what is that book you are holding?”

Augustus, feeling shy, held up the book and pointed at the title engraved on the spine.

“Wow, that’s a grown up book! It looks like we have a distinguished gentleman on our hands. Have you met your other zios yet?”

“Not quite yet. But I was planning on taking him to meet his cousins after he sees the garden.” Copia answered for Augustus, still a tad nervous.

“How fun! Well, I won’t bother you two any longer. Very nice to meet you, Augustus. I look forward to seeing you again soon.” He said with a warm smile, waving and exiting the room.

“I like him.” Augustus commented.

“Secondo is great. Looks like this was a successful trip!” Copia exclaimed.

“Are we going to the garden?” Augustus asked, placing the book in his backpack.

“Only if you want to.” Copia replied.

Augustus nodded.

“Okie dokie, off we go!”

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Copia and Augustus paced outside in the grass, Augustus’s smile growing wider and wider as the two approached the Clergy's lavish garden.

“Do you like the outdoors?” Copia asked Augustus.

“Yes.” Augustus answered. “This is so cool!” He exclaimed, in awe of the wonderland in front of him, longing to get lost in its winding path.

Among the vibrant colors of the flowers, an older man quietly tended to the garden, crouching in front of a bed of hydrangeas, an aura of wisdom and insight radiating from him. Hearing footsteps nearing on the gravel, he turned his head towards Copia and Augustus, giving them a soft wave.

“Why hello, there. Very nice to meet you, you must be Augustus.” He spoke softly but warmly.

The boy nodded sheepishly, staring at the flowers in Primo’s hands.

“Augustus. That’s a good name. Better than good. Do you know what it means?”

Augustus looked up to meet Primo’s gaze, and shook his head.

“Great.” Primo revealed.

“Oh. Really?” Augustus asked.

“Indeed.” He nodded. “Do you have a favorite flower?” Primo stood up, Copia and Augustus beginning to follow him along the edge of the the flowing stream.

Augustus looked around the garden for a moment, contemplating which of the many flowers he preferred. “I like the sunflowers.” answered Augustus, pointing to the yellow flowers just a few feet away.

“So do I. They are a classic choice.” Primo agreed. “Sometimes I find myself in here not just to expand the garden, but to find peace in its stillness. It is very quiet out here, but there are many noises to be noticed. The sounds of the stream, birds chirping, sometimes pesky animals that want a snack.” He conversed.

Augustus gasped, his love of animals evident in his jovial reaction. “What kind of animals?”

“Squirrels most often, but rabbits as well. You know who also likes animals?” Primo asked.

“Who?”

Primo pointed at Copia, who smiled fondly.

“I do, that is true.”

“Maybe one day you two will have a little pet.” Primo winked as Augustus looked up at Copia, his hands fidgeting with excitement.

The three continued their wholesome exchange as Primo taught Augustus all about the flowers and plants, curiosity brimming in his eyes. Copia observed Augustus’s interactions with his uncle, admiring the boy’s gentle and inquisitive nature that ignited a sense of youthfulness in his heart.

“Lovely to meet you, Augustus. You are what some would call an old soul. Maybe even wiser than me, even at my age.” Primo chuckled.

“Nice to meet you.” Augustus responded, finding comfort in Primo’s serenity and knowledge.

“Ay, the sun is already setting…” Primo remarked, the garden’s vibrant colors beginning to dull down as the sun prepared itself to rest.

“Ready to go inside and, if you’re ready, meet your cousins?” Copia asked Augustus, to which he nodded, holding out a thumbs up.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

As the Cardinal raised his hand to knock at the door of the suite you and Terzo shared, Augustus suddenly felt a surge of uncertainty, and without thinking, grabbed Copia’s hand.

Copia, shocked by the sudden contact, looked down at Augustus with concern in his eyes.

“You okay?” He checked in on the boy.

Augustus nodded. “Nervous.”

“We don’t have to go inside if you don’t want to.”

“I do.” Augustus decided.

“Okay. We can take a deep breath and go inside. Okie dokie?” He comforted Augustus.

“Okie dokie.” Augustus repeated.

“In,”

The two of them inhaled in unison.

“And out.”

Phew.

“Ready?” Copia asked Augustus.

“Mhm.”

Copia stood up and knocked three times on the door of the large Papal suite, which nearly instantly swung open. In front of them stood a man with jet black hair in a black suit, face covered in white and black paint.

Augustus tapped Copia on the shoulder, waving his hand for him to lean in. He abided, leaning down to hear whatever it was he had to say. Augustus cupped his hand over his mouth and stage whispered, “Is that Dracula?”

Copia nearly cackled.

“No, that’s your Uncle Terzo.” The Cardinal chuckled.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Dracula?!” Terzo exclaimed. “You flatter me! I’m Terzo, it’s very nice to meet you.” Terzo greeted, holding out his gloved hand for the boy to shake.

“Hi. I’m Augustus.” the boy said, taking his hand and shaking it.

“Augustus! So nice to have you in our family. There are a few other people here who are excited to meet you.”

“Feeling up to it?” Copia asked.

Augustus nodded.

“Okie dokie. Your Aunt (Y/N) and cousin Vinnie are here as well. Your cousin Violetta will be back from school soon.” Copia told Augustus.

Just around the corner, you were eagerly listening; after hearing of Augustus’s agreement, you walked down the hall to your son’s room, where you found him pacing in circles.

“Is he here yet?” He asked before you even got the chance to inform him he had arrived.

“He’s here! Come say hi! But remember, he’s nervous, so be very sweet.” You reminded him.

“Okay!” Vinnie agreed as you took his hand and walked him to the living room. As you entered the room and caught sight of your nephew the for the first time, your heart nearly melted. He was utterly adorable, golden hair, rosy cheeks, and freckles dappling his face; he looked like a little cherub. You turned to look down at your son and were elated to see his face lit up.

You gently crouched to the ground to meet your nephew at eye-level, noticing his eyes darting away from your gaze.

“Hi, Augustus. I’m (Y/N). It’s so nice to meet you!” You said, softening your voice. “This is Vinnie, your cousin, who is so excited to meet you.”

“If you couldn’t tell.” Terzo joked, gesturing to his son, filled to the brim with energy.

“Hi! I’m Vinnie!” The boy excitedly introduced himself.

“Alright, Augustus. I’ll be back very soon.” Copia said to Augustus. “Have fun, and if you need anything, just let your Uncle Terzo or Aunt (Y/N) know. And if you need me, you can also let them know, okie dokie?”

Augustus nodded. “Okie dokie.”

“Do you want to play?” Vinnie asked, to which Augustus nodded once again.

“Okay, let’s go!” Vinnie announced, leaving no room for a verbal response as he grabbed Augustus’s hand, fingers intertwining, and eagerly took off to his room.

Though Copia kept a smile on his face, it was evident he was overwhelmed, understandably.

“You’re doing great.” You consoled Copia, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you, (Y/N). I greatly appreciate your help.” He expressed his gratitude.

“Of course, you don’t have to thank me.”

“He likes you, Copia,” Terzo observed.

“I hope so.”

“No, seriously, he likes you. It’s his first day here and he’s already holding your hand and clinging to your side. It’s precious.” You added in agreement.

“Sì, Copia, you have nothing to worry about,” Terzo reassured him.

“Thank you. And, uh, Terzo, can I borrow one of your ghouls? I have a little last-minute project for his room I’d love to get done.”

Meanwhile, just down the hall, Vinnie had dragged Augustus to his bedroom, animatedly explaining its contents, from his favorite toys scattered across the floor to the pictures on the wall.

“This is my room.” He announced. “And this is my bed and this is my rug. And this is my bookshelf and these are my books that my Mama and Papa read to me. Sometimes my sister. And these are my toys.”

Augustus listened patiently as Vinnie kept talking, admiring the contents of his room.

“Do you like it?” Vinnie asked once he was finished with his grand tour.

“I love it.”

“Yay, thanks! I like your headphones.” Vinnie complimented him. “Sometimes my Papa wears them when he listens to death music. Once he let me hear. Don’t tell my mom. Cause there’s bad words.”

Augustus giggled. “Can I draw?” he asked, unzipping his backpack.

“Sure,” Vinnie said as Augustus pulled out a box of crayons and a stack of paper, laying them on the ground for them to share.

“Do you like to draw?” Augustus inquired, pulling a beige crayon out of the box

“I’m no good,” Vinnie answered.

“That’s okay.” Augustus pushed the crayons towards his cousin.

Hesitating at first, Vinnie reached into the box and pulled out a green crayon, beginning to scribble on a blank sheet of paper. The boys sat in silence, enjoying each other’s company until Vinnie caught sight of Augustus’s paper and noticed his artistry.

“That’s really good!” Vinnie complimented him.

“Thank you.” Augustus looked up, making eye contact with the raven-haired boy.

“I don’t even know what I have.” Vinnie laughed, looking at the chaos on his paper.

“Grass,” Augustus said, pointing at the drawing, covered in green scribbles. “You can make a house or animals or flowers or trees on top.”

“Oh. Good idea. House.”

"And then you can add people and make it a home," Augustus suggested.

The two went back to drawing in silence until a knock was heard, a girl standing in the doorway.

“Hi, Augustus!” she said. “I’m Violetta. How are you?”

Augustus held out a thumbs up, still concentrating on his paper.

“That’s good. Are you drawing? That’s cool.”

“Duh. He’s really good.” Vinnie told his sister, pointing at his cousin’s paper.

Violetta took a seat beside Augustus on the carpet, peering over at his drawing.

“Wow, that looks really good!” Violetta remarked, impressed by Augustus’ skills; on his paper was a drawing that appeared to be a self-portrait. “There’s a lot of space left. Any other ideas on what to add next?”

Augustus nodded.

“Well, I can’t wait to see!” Violetta said enthusiastically.

The boy smiled and looked up at Violetta, appreciative of her welcoming nature. As his eyes met her gaze, he noticed her black hair similar to her brother’s, as well as a dark red marking adorning the left side of her face. Anxious regarding Augustus’s staring, Violetta suddenly became self-conscious, looking away from the boy and fidgeting with her hands. She mentally prepared herself for a blunt comment, as she had faced many times before, especially from young children.

“I like it,” Augustus said sweetly, pointing to her face.

“Oh.” Violetta said, lost as to how she should respond, not expecting such a kind comment. “Thank you. I like your freckles.”

“Thank you,” Augustus replied with a smile, then went back to perfecting his masterpiece.

Violetta’s heart felt full. The kindness Augustus displayed towards her was unexpected, and caught her off-guard.

“I have homework to do, but it was nice meeting you, Augustus. I’m so excited that you’re my cousin.” She said farewell to Augustus, waving and exiting the room.

“Bye-bye, Violetta.” He said, waving his hand at the girl.

“My sister is cool,” Vinnie said. “She can also draw good.”

“Really?” Augustus said.

“Yeah. She’s awesome. Let’s play spies!” Vinnie declared, a sudden shift in topic, one that didn’t bother Augustus. “But we need something first.”

“What?” Augustus tilted his head.

“We need IDs,” Vinnie stated.

“You’re right! Spy IDs.” Augustus agreed.

“Can you draw them, though?” Vinnie asked, unsure of his abilities.

“Yeah!”

“Alright, let’s do it!”

Augustus’s time spent with his cousin had clearly lightened his mood. By the time Copia had come to pick up Augustus, he was non-stop giggling with Vinnie, his expression soon resting in an adorable smile, dimples on display.

“Hi, Augustus. It looks like you had fun.” The Cardinal smiled, walking into Vinnie’s room.

“Yeah, I did.” Augustus cheerfully responded, looking Copia in the eyes.

“Ready to head back home and have something to eat?”

“Yeah!”

After a fulfilling meal of spaghetti and meatballs- which Copia would have to make more often, the plate was empty in what seemed like a millisecond- Augustus was exhausted, but still enthusiastic upon discovering the surprise waiting for him.

“Wow!” Augustus said, standing in his room in front of the newly added bookshelf. “How did that happen so fast?”

“Magic,” Copia responded.

“Woah.” He said in awe, mouth agape as his ocean eyes glimmered.

“And now you can put your first book on it!”

“Oh!” Augustus exclaimed, taking off his backpack, unzipping it, and taking out the book. He walked over to the bookshelf, standing on his tallest tippy-toes and placing it on the shelf.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

“Goodnight, Augustus. If you need anything, I am just down the hallway, okie dokie?” He said, holding out a thumbs up.

Augustus, tucked snugly under the covers, held out a thumbs up in return. “Okie dokie.”

Copia, leaving the door just slightly ajar, made his way back to his room. Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he sighed deeply, picking apart the man staring back at him with tears in his eyes, who still didn’t seem much like a father. The day went well, he thought, but there was no doubt it was all incredibly overwhelming. Did he overwhelm Augustus? What could he do to help him come out of his shell?

“Day one of fatherhood and I’m already a wreck,”Copia mentally belittled himself. In the middle of his spiral, he heard a quiet knock on the door.

Like magic, Copia nearly teleported to the door and sucked back his tears; a superpower that supposedly came with becoming a parent. There Augustus stood in the doorway, tears running down his rosy cheeks.

“Augustus! What’s wrong?” He fretted, crouching in front of him, concern etched on his face.

“I can’t-” Augustus sniffled, Copia’s heart instantly shattering. “I can’t sleep.” the boy softly cried.

“Oh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Copia consoled him. “Can I give you a hug?”

Augusted answered by holding out his arms, to which Copia immediately wrapped his arms around him.

“It’s very hard. I know. I know.” Copia comforted him, though he wanted to cry just as much. Through the sniffles and hiccups, Copia soon heard a giggle escape Augustus’s mouth. Copia gently pulled away from the hug, as Augustus smiled and pointed to the wall behind Copia. Turning around, he noticed his iconic poster hanging proudly - ‘Hang in there baby!’

“Oh, the poster? It is funny, isn’t it?”

Augustus nodded. “I like the cat.”

“So do I. Do you want it?”

“Really?” He asked, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Sì. We can put it up in your room.”

“Sì is yes?”

“Oh! Sì- Yes. Sì means ‘yes’ in Italian.”

“Okay. Yay!”

“I always seem to catch sight of that silly cat when I need it most…” He remarked. “Speaking of a cat… I know a very good story involving a lion, a witch, and a specific piece of furniture if you’d like to read it together.”

Augustus grinned wide, his joy completely replacing the tears he had shed just moments ago.

Copia followed Augustus into his room, carrying the framed poster, and setting it beside a stack of paper on top of the dresser.

“He will sleep here tonight, but we will put him on the wall tomorrow.” Copia said as Augustus crawled into bed and under the covers. “All snug?”

Augustus nodded.

“Okie dokie. Here we go. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.” He began. “Once there were…” Copia began, and soon noticed Augustus holding up four fingers.

“Ah, you are correct! Four children. And their names were…”

“Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy,” he repeated.

“And you remember them in the right order, too! Wow. Very good memory you have!”

“Thank you,�� Augustus replied, smiling.

“This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air raids. They were sent to the house of an old Professor who lived in the heart of the country, ten miles from the nearest railway station and two miles from the nearest post office…”

Copia continued reading the story as Augustus found his eyes growing heavy under the soothing cadence of Copia’s voice.

“This is the land of Narnia, said the Faun, where we are now; all that lies between the lamp post and the-”

Copia peered above the book and caught sight of Augustus, eyes shut and mouth agape, his breathing establishing a steady rhythm . Augustus had made it to sleep before they even made it to Narnia. Copia smiled, closing the book softly, careful not to disturb the now-sleeping Augustus. The Cardinal remained seated on the side of the bed for a moment, basking in heights of graciousness he didn't even know were humanly possible; he felt blessed that this precious little boy, whos life clearly had not been easy, was safe with the Clergy, was safe with him.

Placing the book on top of the nightstand and turning off the lamp, Copia carefully stood up and began to tiptoe out of the room, stopping when he noticed a sheet of paper sitting atop the dresser. He knew drawings were an important and often personal form of self expression, especially for children, but he couldn’t help but be curious as to what Augustus had come up with; he seemed like a creative spirit. Through the darkness of the room, squinting at the paper, Copia was able to make out two figures with writing on top.

Yeah, he was gonna be be a good Papa. Better than good, great. Some may even say the greatest.

OMG YALL😭😭😭😭

first things first,

i can’t apologize enough for my absence!!! this story became way longer than i thought it would but i hope it was worth it!!! now that this is done i have other WIP stories i can finally continue working on that include augustus!!!

i love dad copia so much y’all omg i can't even, vinnie and augustus are twin flames omg im so excited to show yall more <3

thank you SO MUCH for reading i can’t thank you enough, i love y’all so much!!!! thank you for your love and patience!!! more stuff coming up SOON <3

<3, alice

95 notes · View notes

cheesy09 · 1 year ago

Text

[CN] Kiro's Absolute Match Mind's Quest (Part 2)

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

Note: This date explores some very suggestive themes, so if you do not meet the game's required 16+ age rating, I'd suggest to avoid reading this date.

Part 1: HERE

[CHAPTER 5]

After successfully communicating with the organizer of the charity match, I shared the news with Kiro that I was going to join the cheerleading team.

Of course, he was surprised and delighted. We agreed to supervise each other and continue our "hellish training".

There were more fulfilling things to do in the long summer. While the exercises were obviously boring, they made my mood warm up every day.

In the blink of an eye, it was the day the baseball game started.

MC: Savin, have you seen Kiro?

Savin: He seems to have been called to the other side. Do you want me to find him?

MC: No, I'll go find him myself!

Savin nodded and gave me a thumbs up.

Savin: With the way you look today, I guarantee that Kiro will be looking straight at you!

I laughed twice, pulled on my cheerleading skirt with slight embarrassment, turned around and walked quickly in the direction he pointed.

Though this charity competition wasn't such a high-key event, many influential figures were invited, and the backstage area was bustling with people.

MC: Sorry, excuse me, thank you... Kiro! I'm here!

I waved my hand energetically. Kiro looked around after hearing the sound. His eyes lit up instantly when he saw me.

He walked quickly through the crowd and came to me, his eyes full of amazement.

Kiro: Today you, you....

MC: How is it? Youthful, right?

I smiled, raised my pompom and struck a pose.

Kiro: Very youthful!

Kiro: I can't believe you actually hid such a cute appearance and are only showing it to me now. No wonder you refused to let me come watch you rehearse yesterday.

MC: Hehe, of course the surprise must be discovered on the same day the surprise is happening!

MC: Originally, I wanted to wait a little longer and let you see it during the performance, but I was afraid that it would be too late to perform the ritual for you.

Kiro: Ritual?

MC: Did you forget?

I took out the prepared marker, took his hand, and wrote my name one stroke at a time on the inside of his wrist.

MC: You said during the game, that writing the names of important people on your wrist will bring good luck to the game. I remember that.

This is another reference to Kiro's Heatwave Date :>

Kiro opened his mouth and then smiled.

Kiro: Mm, I'll definitely live up to this mark.

He gently held my hand, folded our palms together and covered the handwriting.

Kiro: Then, we agree that we'll be each other's witnesses later on, and that we'll both stand in the most dazzling place.

After the lively opening ceremony, the music sounded again.

MC: Three, two, one, GO!

The girls on the cheerleading team jumped briskly onto the sports field with neat steps.

Almost instantly, I locked onto those pair of eyes I wanted to see most in the sea of spectators.

Blue, bright, and only mine.

Whether I was jumping, catching a throw, or even turning my back, I could clearly feel that line of sight firmly locked on me.

My heart felt as full, as if it was filled with air, but my body was lighter than the clouds.

Did Kiro feel the same way on stage every time I looked at him from off stage?

Accompanied by the rapid drum beat, the once extremely difficult movements during practice no longer seemed to be difficult at this moment. I supported my teammate's hand, stepped hard, turned around, flipped, and froze in the final step.

Woah--

I knew that the applause on the field at that moment may not have been because of the cheerleading performance, but a warm up for the next game.

But I also firmly believed that the handsome young man with blond hair and blue eyes in a baseball uniform who stood up to applaud - all of his cheers were only for me.

I took a breath to calm down and watched the players from the two teams appear one after another.

The captain on the left was Carol. He was standing next to Kiro while watching the cheerleading performance. When our eyes met, he smiled and winked at me;

And the captain on the right was of course, Kiro. He tried his best acting like a big star, but the moment he saw Carol making a face, he couldn't hold back from giving him a smack in the face;

MC: Pfft...

I suppressed my laughter and watched the two teams shake hands with each other.

The other members of the cheerleading team all left the field, leaving me the only one still standing on the field. Kiro looked at me with slight confusion.

At that moment, the referee handed the baseball to me.

Referee: Please kick-off the game, miss.

MC: Okay.

Kiro: .....!!

Hmph, how unexpected!!

If there were a comic-like dialog box above my head at this moment, it might have been an extremely big and extremely gorgeous dialog box that I could show off to everyone.

This was the second surprise I had prepared for him.

Kiro: MC...

For the first time, Kiro's eyes were extremely wide. If the referee hadn't order the athletes to get into position, he might have rushed in front of me by now.

In the end, Kiro walked to home plate and raised his bat.

I held the ball in both hands and took a deep breath.

MC: I hope...

I hope the next word didn't need to be said. All of my hopes were in my hands.

I raised my hand, twisted my body as much as possible, and swung the ball hard.

Boom!

Referee: Strike out!

Referee: After the end of the first half, there'll be a ten-minute intermission.

Unknowingly, the seventh game had concluded, leaving the score between the two sides very tight. Although this was just a friendly charity match, the competition's intensity was not low. While Kiro's baseball abilities were good enough, he hadn't reached a level where he could crush his opponents.

What's more was that he was facing against Carol.

I clenched my hands and looked at Kiro not far away.

The halftime break was very important, and he was discussing follow-up tactical arrangements with his teammates, a serious look on his face.

When Kiro entered working mode, his eyebrows seemed to be three points sharper than usual, and his blue eyes were astonishingly bright.

Even though his teammates were all leaders in various fields, at this moment, they all listened to his explanation with conviction and admiration.

Six or seven minutes passed, and since the tactics were almost planned, everyone dispersed to take a final break. Kiro also smoothed his sweaty hair and hurried to the bathroom.

MC: Huh?

When he raised his hand, I realized that the name I wrote before going on the field had been smudged by sweat, leaving only a few strokes remaining on his wrist.

[CHAPTER 5: Interweaving Emotions]

The sun shone brightly and the lawn on the court was coated with a fuzzy halo. The cheerleaders were in uniform and exuded youthful vitality under the dynamic music.

Obviously they were all wearing the same uniform, and their formations changed at an almost dizzying extent, but Kiro's eyes never strayed from the girl's body for even a second.

Carol: Hey...

She smiled brightly, and the dangling pompom in her hand was the finishing touch, making her entire body sparkle.

Kiro couldn't help laughing along, turned on his camera, and zoomed in a little bit to try and capture his Miss Chips in the fast-paced dance.

Carol: Kiro, it's all so blurry and you still want to take pictures? Where can I see your partner here?

Carol: .....

Carol: Hey, Bro!

Kiro felt a heavy tap on his shoulder. He subconsciously turned his head and saw Carol, who was seated with him in the stand-by area, raising his eyebrows in depression.

Carol: I've been talking to you. Why are you just looking at your sweetheart?

Kiro: She's performing, so of course I've gotta watch her at all times.

Kiro said, his eyes falling on the girl again, the smile in his eyes never disappearing.

Carol: Then the two of you really match each other.

Carol: When you were practicing, she was in the same state as you, with almost the same expression. Looking without blinking - yes, just like that - and smiling from time to time!

While Carol was describing in shock, there was a bit of envy in his eyes.

Carol: Tsk, no wonder you didn't admit that I was your "soulmate" before. The compatibility between your souls is rare in this world~

When Kiro wanted to respond to his opponent, he found the girl on the court looking at him for a moment, and he quickly straightened up and waved.

After a while, he turned back to look at Carol, who looked even more "haunted", with a hint of apology on his face.

Kiro: Uh... what did you just say? Soulmate?

Kiro quickly went through every detail of his and the girl's daily life in his mind, and unconsciously felt sweetness in his heart.

Kiro: Almost, but the word soulmate isn't good enough.

Kiro: In my heart, she is MC. She is my favorite person.

Kiro: As long as I look at her, I know what's in her heart. Whether she is happy or sad.

Kiro: That's why I'm eager to bring her the best things in the world!

Kiro: But you won't understand, even after I've told you all of this.

Kiro: This is a unique connection between me and her. Go ahead and envy it~

The more Kiro said it, the prouder he felt. Because no matter how good the pronouns were, he couldn't explain the girl in his heart. She was so unique that even the most beautiful words used to describe her would feel a bit inferior.

But as he talked, Kiro noticed that the person beside him remained silent and he turned to look back--

Carol was very dramatically covering his ears.

Carol: Wow, I'd love to see you show off your affection, but isn't this "dog food" a little bit much?!

Kiro: You even know the term "dog food". It's very local~

T/n: The term "狗粮" (dog food) is Chinese slang used to refer to PDA, i.e. public display of affection :>

Kiro smiled and bent his eyes, the little pride in his heart swelling like a balloon. Just as he was about to continue being arrogant--

The music on the field stopped and the performance ended.

Kiro immediately stood up and moved his wrists and ankles, his eyes filled with determination. Then, he turned to Carol and raised his eyebrows provocatively.

Kiro: Chat's over, old classmate. Now, you have to be careful.

Kiro: Because I won't let her down.

Kiro: Today's victory will belong only to "us".

[CHAPTER 6]

Two minutes to go.

I clenched the marker in my hand and looked at the bathroom door anxiously.

The moment Kiro appeared, I immediately rushed over and pulled him into a corner of the stairwell.

Kiro: ...?!

MC: The wording is blurry. Let me make up for it.

I couldn't help but uncap the pen and write more seriously and vigorously than last time. Kiro laughed and carefully wiped off the wet water stains on my wrist.

Kiro: You seem to be extra superstitious today.

MC: I can be as superstitious as I want.

MC: And I have even more superstitious tricks.

I stood up on tiptoes and fiercely kissed Kiro's lips, almost knocking his teeth in my haste. He smiled and gently accepted the tip of my tongue again.

One minute left.

Please, please, pass all my luck today to him through this kiss.

I didn't know if there was such a god in the sky that could grant my wishes, but I would still stubbornly pray for it.

As long as Kiro was fighting everything in this world, I would make this wish.

Thirty seconds to go. An announcement was made outside reminding the players to enter.

I pressed against the tip of his nose, and said word by word.

MC: Because I've see how hard you've worked this month, I really want you to win.

MC: It doesn't matter if he's an MLB super rookie. You're still my superhero.

I kissed those most beautiful eyes in the world again, and then pushed Kiro towards the arena.

MC: So, you can definitely win.

MC: Although Carol's "Fire Team" was about to strike out with a beautiful outfield ball to send the game into overtime...

MC: Kiro, the ace player of the "Sunshine Team", hit a perfect homerun, base, and hit in the tiebreaker!

I deliberately emphasized the word "homerun", leaned on the sofa, took a sip of beer, and continued reading.

MC: "Then, in the defensive round, Kiro made another critical hit, completely ending the game and winning the final victory."

MC: "All income and prize money from this competition will be donated to the Youth Sports Development Foundation..."

Kiro: Why are you still reading the report? The game ended long ago.

Kiro's voice sounded from above my head.

After the game, Kiro and I were really tired, so we simply declined most of the subsequent interviews and activities and went home to lie down.

MC: It hasn't been that long. It's only been half an hour since we got home, of course I'm still very excited. Here, look.

I showed Kiro the screen of my phone with a smile. There was a photo of the victors, hugging and celebrating.

--And this time, I was also among the victorious group, firmly captured by the image.

MC: I emphasized to Xiao Zheng and the others that this photo was very important and had to be taken!

MC: This way, we can make up for the regret of not having a celebratory photo at Hitachi High School last time!

Kiro: ! Quick, send me a copy!

MC: Sent, check~

I not only sent him this photo, but also some other photos of the game, as well as bits and pieces of training over the past month.

Kiro: So many...

He slowly looked through them one by one in amazement, and I leaned on his shoulder, smiling contently.

MC: Is it a lot? I still think it's little.

MC: If I were a photographer, I'd take a thousand time-lapse pictures during your competition and pick them slowly!

Kiro: Hahaha!

While we were looking through the photos, we casually drank a bunch of beers. Suddenly, Kiro's cell phone rang and he clicked on the screen.

MC: What's up?

Kiro: It's Carol. He said he's going back to the United States tomorrow morning and wanted to treat us to dinner tonight.

Kiro: Do you want to go?

MC: Hm... after all, he is your friend, so I do need to be there.

MC: But I'm still so tired now...

I pointed at Kiro's baseball uniform and then at my cheerleading uniform.

MC: See, we haven't changed our clothes since we laid down here.

Kiro: Shall we take a shower then?

MC: Let's rest for ten more minutes, shall we?

Kiro: Hmm... No, I'll get sleepy if I lie down any longer.

MC: But right now I'm too lazy to move even a finger--

Before I could even finish speaking, my body suddenly rose into the air, and Kiro picked me up.

Kiro: It's okay, you don't have to move.

MC: Wait a minute, Kiro. I seemed to have missed something.

Perhaps it was dopamine, controller of excitement, or perhaps it was the gradually brewing drunkenness. While Kiro was helping me unscrew the liquor, I suddenly pulled him back.

Kiro: Eh? Is it a bath towel, or a change of clothes? Should I go get it for you?

MC: It isn't...

I hesitated and couldn't answer, so I just took two more steps towards him.

MC: It's... something about you.

Kiro: [still clueless] About me? What is it?

I still couldn't answer, but my instincts drove me to seek out for him.

Not on his sleeves, not on his fingers, not on his chest...

The hormones caused by teen sports mixed with alcohol filled my nasal passages, making my head dizzier.

MC: It seems like... It seems like it's here.

Finally remembering, I gently licked the corner of Kiro's mouth.

MC: Yes, I remembered, you missed the praise.

As I spoke, I rubbed his neck again and again, and his center of gravity grew unstable for a moment. I tipped Kiro slightly and we sat on the ground together.

The showerhead slipped from his hand and fell to the ground. The inverted water rolled twice, and fine water droplets began to scatter unscrupulously.

Kiro blinked, and his breathing became a little faster.

Kiro: ...MC, are you drunk?

MC: ...Am I? Maybe so.

MC: Anyway, don't change the subject! You anyways missed it. You didn't say it.

I reluctantly pried open Kiro's lips, as if wanting to get the treasure that a brave man deserved after going on an adventure.

MC: I've praised you for being so amazing on the field, but you haven't praised my performance yet.

MC: Hurry up, or else the peacock who spread their tail and got no response will be angry...

Kiro suddenly raised his hand and lifted up his team uniform.

My hand that had initially been loosely clinging to his arm failed to grasp it, and my entire body suddenly fell into his arms.

Kiro: Don't be angry.

His breath touched my lips, and his voice mixed with the gurgling water.

Kiro: It was an oversight on my part. I should've really praised MC.

Kiro: How about using my entire body as your prize?

MC: Really? It's all mine?

I blinked in surprise and confusion, and my hands suddenly fumbled away indiscriminately.

From his eyes, to his nose, to his cheeks, to his Adam's apple...

Kiro's body continued to heat up under my touch and caress, and the heat captured in my palms spread to my body along my fingertips.

He kept maintaining a posture that allowed me to ask for anything. Only his rapid breathing and tight muscles guided the smoothest path.

Guiding me into opening this gift that was mine.

I couldn't help but confirm it again.

MC: Is it all mine?

Kiro: It was yours from the very beginning.

MC: Huh, if it was always mine, it can't be considered a prize for my hard work today, right?

Kiro: .....

Kiro: I found that Miss Chips is very logical when drunk.

His Adam's apple rolled, and the corners of his mouth curled up helplessly.

Kiro: Then should I tell you some hidden rewards?

He grabbed my hand. But this time, the rhythm of the body was completely dominated by him.

It was like an unimagined arrangement of a familiar piece of music, and the unaccustomed rhythm made it impossible for me to resist.

I could only be passively guided by him, and go with him to open doors that I'd never touched before.

The salty sweat mixed with alcohol filled my mouth with the taste of summer.

Kiro: Particularly dazzling...

I seemed to hear Kiro's dazed murmur, and I opened my eyes in a daze.

MC: ...what did you say?

Kiro: I'm talking about you on the court today.

His eyes were hidden behind his wet bangs, like the most bewildering ocean.

I was immersed in this ocean, but I knew it was about to set off a giant tsunami.

Kiro: And you now.

Unknowingly, the water had flowed along the floor tiles.

Translation Masterlist: here

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc kiro #i have... no words #i just feel so bad for carol 🤣#poor guy was just third wheeling the entire date while those two couldn't keep their eyes or their hands of each other asdfghjkl

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suomeen · 6 months ago

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Kirppis

Kirppis is a flea market or a thrift shop, though Finns also include consignment shops. There are many of them in Finland and they are very popular. Kirppis shopping is a sort of national sport. It’s partly about sustainability. But of course, many people come for a chance to get cheap treasures. You can find all sorts of people here. There are a lot of mothers looking to buy clothes for their rapidly growing infants. There are elderly people looking at porcelain that is beautiful but wildly impractical. There are middle-aged men looking at old records and CDs. There are green-haired piercing-covered youths looking for something weird and edgy. And of course, a lot of immigrants, looking for cheap basic things and clothing. It truly makes you feel the saying “one man's trash is another man's treasure”. The town isn’t very big so it feels like over the years half the stuffs in town have changed hands.

I go to one kirppis a lot. Of course, more than anything, it’s a way to find cheap good things. But to me, it’s also an adventure. You never know what you may come across. Everyone has a weak spot for a certain type of things that they find hard to pass by. For me it’s stuffed toys, beautiful ceramics and children’s books. I also acquired a few too many boxes and containers. I think it’s a middle-aged thing to try to organize your mess of a life.

Finding something good and cheap gives you a rush. But these places always give a bit of a melancholy vibe as essentially, they’re a collection of unwanted things. I especially get that at consignment stores where people rent shelves to sell their things. There are a lot of clothes, dishes and glassware, toys and books, decorative items, even plants. Also a massive number of Moomin mugs, but that’s another story. And there are many reasons for people to sell things. Some clothes no longer fit and some are unwanted gifts. But sometimes a shelf tells a story. A hobby abandoned, a child grown up. And sometimes looking at someone’s things I wonder what event brought them here. Was the owner just bored with these things? Did they get them from an elderly relative who just died? Were those things unwanted reminders from a bad breakup? I sometimes come across books with lovely inscriptions inside, from friends or relatives. Those make me a bit sad. There’s one shelf that’s from a girl who went through an intense goth and anime stage and later apparently went on to study linguistics. I wonder how she’s doing… I guess I’m just weird like that.

[To Eveliina Christmas 2010, From Granny and Grandpa]

#Finland #Suomi #Kirppis #blog post

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eorzeashan · 9 months ago

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Commander Stew

Theron cooks something for the Commander.

Odessen - The Kitchens

A young man sporting a dollop of white hair and refined features entered the communal kitchen of the Alliance carrying a large crate, wearing a plain burlap apron, rubber gloves, and waders over what usually would qualify as a stealth suit–a bit of an odd sight, but one Theron had gotten used to over time.

“Hey! You’re back early. Put ‘em down over there,” Theron glanced over his shoulder, nodding briefly at the young man, then motioning with his head at the kitchen island. Eight squeezed past him as he ran his hands under the faucet, careful not to bump into the other spy. They set down the box on the counter and patiently folded their hands, awaiting instructions.

Theron turned off the sink and flung the remnant droplets off his hands, drying them with a slightly stained checkerboard dish towel.

Even with his fearsome past, Theron found the quiet operative to be pleasant company most days, with Eight acting as his assistant in daily matters ranging from mundane chores to deadly missions. All at the behest of Lana, of course. She was the one who insisted on (see: forced) a pair of helping hands for him after he'd incorrectly assumed she’d wanted him to take on all her burdens.

Not that he was complaining about the extra hands. Certainly not today of all days–he was planning something special, and that required all of the help he could get.

Theron opened the flaps of the crate. Fresh from their gardening plot in the Odessen fields, the box was practically bursting with colorful root vegetables and leafy greens native to the planet. Purple, orange, striped yellows and swirls of blue–all packed with vitamins and the healthy color of a successful crop. Plain proof that their efforts to cultivate more organic food for the personnel had finally given fruit, after several long winters of withered stalks and exhausting meals of food chips.

Theron smiled wryly. He’d have to make a toast to Dr. Oggurrobb’s fertilizer and the Force Enclave’s agricultural knowledge later.

“Will this be enough?” Eight asked, mellow as ever. He watched him coolly through deep umber eyes.

“It’s more than enough,” Theron answered, a bit of uncertainty leaking into his tone as he stared at the foodstuffs. The vegetables taunted him from their comfy spot atop the counter next to the impressive array of knives and cooking utensils laid out side-by-side like an interrogation toolkit. “...I think.” He wiped the tip of his nose.

Theron hated to admit it, but he was no culinarian. Master Zho had never taught him (really, what could you teach a kid to cook in the wilderness besides canned goods and pre-packaged rations), and his stint as a SIS agent since his youth had left him with little time to prepare nor care. The extent of his cooking repertoire could quickly be summed up to sticking a frozen Orobird leg in the flash oven and waiting for two minutes, sadly.

So why was he making an effort now?

The image of the Commander’s tired face weary from battle and sleepless nights, aging lines etched deep into their skin with the carvings of a destiny too large for one person, flashed in Theron’s mind. He’d seen the way they’d fought–skipped meals, denied themselves sleep, hid the way their gaze turned vacant when they thought no one was looking, left their cafeteria plate practically untouched, compounded blackened bottoms of endless cups of caf, the stims—the Commander was burning themselves at both ends.

Hypocritical as it was, he couldn’t stand watching them drive themselves into the ground. The galaxy’s fate was important, but…not as important as they were to Theron. Yet he found himself at a loss; what words he wanted to tell them to eat better, to sleep more, to stop hurting themselves fell short whenever the Commander gave him that one look. That look of resignation, deep as the dull ache that would settle in his chest afterwards.

“I’m okay,” They’d tell him, smiling wan, “Thank you, Theron.” It’s alright. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about me.

Like hell he couldn’t. He–

“Theron…?”

Theron snapped out of his reverie, realizing he’d been wringing the dishcloth far too tightly for too long. Eight stared at him, puzzled. He released it. His knuckles returned to their previous pink.

“...Sorry. Just. Tired,” Theron shook his head, massaging his temples. Tired. Yeah. He was sure someone else was too, and he hadn’t asked Eight to come here to watch him have a breakdown. Pushing off from the counter, he clapped his hands together, mustering up a second wind. “Let’s get to work. Shall we?”

Commander Stew

Ingredients:

Young Makrin Legs

Orobird Soup Stock

Rootleaf, 1 Head

Imperial-issued Instant Glowblue Noodles, 1 Package

Republic Synth-Ham and Grophet Sausages

Odessen Wild Onions

Mandalorian Spice Sauce

Zakuulan Swamp Glowshrooms

Slice of Ration Cheese

Directions:

Prepare the young makrin legs by soaking them in water and shaving the fibrous exterior with a peeler.

Theron stared at the unassuming pile of…legs that resembled roots more than they did the limbs of any creature, and secretly shuddered. Makrins weren’t particularly uncommon on terrestrial worlds, but their crabby, tree-like appearance and tendency to wallow in loam didn't make them his first choice to eat. He wasn't exactly opposed to adventurous cuisine, but he wondered how exactly the legs of a chitinous creature equaled something that would make the Commander more appetized.

As if sensing his cause for pause, Eight peered over his shoulder where he stood frozen with peeler in hand. “The Jedi recommended them for use in medicinal dishes. When eaten boiled, it lowers blood pressure, and contains many nutrients.” He said thoughtfully, as if reading an entry from an encyclopedia.

“Is that so.” Theron inwardly balked at the mention of the Jedi–a little known fact was that Master Zho had raised him on Jedi cuisine, most of it vegetarian, but even then he hadn’t sampled every bit of agriculture the galaxy had to offer. Makrin legs were a bit out there, but seeing as they were native to Odessen, recommended by the enclave and another piece of stress relief on a plate for the Commander? His survival training told him the harmless limbs could only benefit, despite their gnarly appearance.

Remove the tips and fibrous base. When cleaned and processed, set aside.

He buckled down and began shaving the legs. Lack of proper nutrition was always a deciding factor in conflict–Theron had seen his fair share of soldiers who contracted disease from improper eating and lack of supplies– and he would feed the Commander any bit of ugly vegetables if it meant seeing a little more life restored to their pallid cheeks. His fingers found their rhythm as he removed the tough outer skin from the legs exposing their soft white core beneath the blade of the peeler, their texture reminding him oddly of Dantooinian tubers with an extra coat of slime.

Slice and dice half of a medium-sized onion.

Theron had to pretend he wasn't looking particularly emotional as he chopped the onion. Or maybe he was simply brought to tears at the thought that their food could have flavor for once, all thanks to the Alliance’s team of scouts who procured such supplies for them from the unmapped regions of Odessen’s wilds. Eight was among that team, hence Theron's willingness to let an Imp spy of all people join him in cooking. There was only a small handful of people he could use to conceal his efforts from the Commander, and Theron would make use of both his ability to obtain food in secret and his espionage skills to see this through, opposing factions be damned.

And if others worried about poisoning, well. He didn't pride himself on being Chief of Security for nothing. The safety of the Commander was his priority, as were the characters of those he chose to fight alongside them. They were his responsibility. His to trust with their most important fight and everything in-between. Theron couldn't afford to keep the old grudges that the Republic and Empire maintained in these desperate times, and he would not fall victim to their need to blind themselves with their unending war. He had to fight for what was important, and that was…people. Not sides.

Theron would always be a son of the Republic at his heart. But now his heart belonged to another, and those lines had long blurred.

Slice the glowshrooms length-wise, removing the head from the stems. Set aside.

Clean and cut the rootleaf in half, then the following halves into quarters; chop into smaller squares until you have about 1 cup’s worth of rootleaf. Store the rest in a cool, refrigerated place.

Unpackage the Synth-Ham, Republic Ration #0625, and slice to desired thickness.

Theron opened the can of mystery meat and upended it onto the chopping board. The green ham-like substance plopped onto it with gelatinous grace. He poked it with his cooking knife. It jiggled away from the tip.

Eight placed an empty pot next to him along with a can of opened grophet sausages and an unwrapped package of Imperial ration Glowblue Noodles, their signature color shining through the foil. Theron quickly thanked him out of the corner of his mouth.

Arrange the rootleaf, onion, makrin legs, and glowshrooms at the bottom of the pot in even layers.

Add a helping of Mandalorian Spiced Sauce on top.

Theron couldn't forget Torian and his people. They were the ones who suggested using their own spices for the hotpot, as “no other spice in the galaxy compares to that of a Mando’s.” Though he’d initially expressed some reservations at setting the Commander’s tongue aflame, this special mix had been made with their preference in mind; Shae had been so impressed by their valor that she presented several crates worth as a gift after the battle of Darvannis. Spices were a luxury if not a grand gesture in wartime, and not one Theron intended to use lightly.

Add the Synth-Ham, grophet sausages, and top with a slice of ration cheese over the previous ingredients.

Finally, add the Glowblue Noodles and 3 liters of Orobird stock.

Theron blinked at the finished product. “Wait a minute. This is…”

“Revanite stew?” Eight once again helpfully supplied.

It was Theron’s turn to ask the questions as he raised a suspicious brow towards his sous-chef. “They ate this during the coalition, when the camps combined. How did you get the same recipe?”

Eight smiled quietly to himself, in his mysterious and elusive way. “Our Commander was there. It was their idea to share food across factions. I still haven't forgotten its taste. If you ask any of the soldiers from that time, they will say the same.”

Theron stared at him, speechless. To think the same recipe he’d been making this entire time was a result of their union on Rishi…he recalled seeing Imperial and Republic soldiers bonding over a cookpot, but hadn't joined in, content to watch the proceedings from a distance. So much had happened during Revan’s rise that he’d failed to pay enough attention to something so innocuous as a moment of camaraderie between unlikely allies.

It had been their idea to eat something both Imperial and Republic that fateful night. To form the basis of their Alliance over a simple, warm bowl of soup.

Theron felt his heart swell.

He…he had to remind them of what they had built. What they meant to him. With this.

Set on top of a burner and deliver to recipients with bowls to share.

Theron held his breath as he wheeled the cart of foodstuffs to the Commander’s quarters, careful to avoid jostling the stew that balanced atop it as he reached his destination. He rapped on the door with the back of his knuckles.

A puff of pnematic air revealed the Commander, yawning wearily from yet another sleepless night of work and burdens. “Yes–” They stopped. “Theron? What are you doing here?” They eyed his cart. “And what's with all the food?”

Theron cracked a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thought you could use some dinner, so…I brought you some. If you don't mind, that is.” He quickly added, feeling out of place in the deserted hallway.

The Commander smiled, a genuine one that reached their eyes, crinkling at the edges. “I’d love to try whatever you made. Come in, we can eat it together.” They stepped aside to allow Theron room to maneuver.

Enjoy with your intended party.

As expected, it was delicious.

Not as filling as seeing the Commander laugh to the point of tears at his explanations as to why he'd been so secretive all week trying to hide the fruits of his cooking from them, but filling nonetheless. He'd give it a 5/5, personally, as a true soup for the soul. (And a note to make it again with less sneaking around).

If the Commander was satisfied and satiated... so was he.

#swtor #swtor fanfiction #theron shan #theron shan x alliance commander #oc: orradiz #knights of the meshi.#admin writes #unnamed commander btw you can self insert. or not #eight cameo in there for. uh. reasons.#i spent way too long procrastinating on this but i think it turned out alright #writing a cooking style fic is way harder than it looks also the ending was kind of botched but im tired #a bit of alliance worldbuilding a bit of speculative cuisine of alien species and plants a bit of #CHARACTER STUDY??#what the hell whatever

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justinspoliticalcorner · 6 months ago

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Madison Pauly and Henry Carnell at Mother Jones:

The conversion therapists met last November at the south end of the Las Vegas Strip. Behind the closed doors and drawn blinds of a Hampton Inn conference room, a middle-aged woman wearing white stockings and a Virgin Mary blue dress issued a call to arms to the 20-some people in attendance. “In our current culture, in which children are being indoctrinated with transgender belief from the moment they’re out of the womb, if we are confronted with a gender-confused child, you must help,” declared Michelle Cretella, a board member of the Alliance for Therapeutic Choice and Scientific Integrity. “We must do something.” Cretella was delivering a keynote speech at the first in-person conference in four years of the Alliance, which describes itself as a “professional and scientific organization” with “Judeo-Christian values.” Its purpose: to defend and promote the practice of conversion therapy by licensed counselors.

Not that they’d call what they do “conversion therapy.” That term lacks a precise definition, but it is used colloquially to describe attempts to shift a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. In the 1960s, some psychologists tried to make gay men straight by pairing aversive stimuli, like electric shocks or chemically induced nausea, with images of gay porn—techniques that ran the risk of causing serious psychological damage even as they failed to change participants’ sexual orientation, researchers eventually concluded. Today, “conversion therapy” generally takes the form of verbal counseling. Participants are typically conservative Christians who engage voluntarily—motivated by internalized stigma, family pressure, and the belief that their feelings are incompatible with their faith. Others are children, brought into therapy by their parents.

The American Psychological Association (APA) has concluded that conversion therapy lacks “sufficient bases in scientific principles” and that people who have undergone it are “significantly more likely to experience suicidality and depression.” Similarly, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), part of the Department of Health and Human Services, published a report concluding that “none of the existing research supports the premise that mental or behavioral health interventions can alter gender identity or sexual orientation. Interventions aimed at a fixed outcome, such as gender conformity or heterosexual orientation…are coercive, can be harmful, and should not be part of behavioral health treatment.”

Accordingly, the Alliance and the ideas it promotes have been relegated to the scientific and political fringes. In the 2010s, as acceptance of gay rights grew rapidly, 18 states and dozens of local governments passed laws forbidding mental health professionals from attempting conversion therapy on minors. Yet by 2020, a new front had opened in the war against LGBTQ people. Republican state legislatures started passing laws targeting transgender and nonbinary children at school—restricting their access to bathrooms, barring them from participating in sports, and stopping educators from teaching about sexual orientation or gender identity. The most intense attacks have banned doctors from providing the treatments for gender dysphoria backed by all major US medical associations. Nearly 114,000 trans youth live in states where access to puberty blockers and hormone therapy has been wiped out.

Last year, I received leaked emails illustrating how these laws are crafted and pushed by a network of anti-trans activists and powerful Christian-right organizations. The Alliance is deeply enmeshed in this constellation of actors. Although small, with an annual budget of under $200,000, it provides both unsubstantiated arguments suggesting LGBTQ identities are changeable and a network of licensed counselors to lend their credibility to these efforts. Among the collaborators were David Pickup, the Alliance’s president-elect; Laura Haynes, an Alliance advocate; and Cretella, the former executive director of an anti-trans pediatrics group who described gender-affirming medical care at the Las Vegas conference as “evil” and part of a “New World Order.” (“I’m not a conspiracy theorist,” she assured attendees. “I’m just someone who has been in the battle of the culture of life versus the culture of death long enough to see the big picture.”) All three have testified before state legislatures against gender-affirming care. When a US senator introduced a pair of bills to restrict trans youth health care in 2021, his press release quoted Cretella calling gender-affirming treatments “eugenics.”

[...]

If the Las Vegas conference made one thing clear, it’s that conversion therapy is alive and well, even in places where it’s been banned. One counselor told me he makes it a habit not to document his treatment plans in writing to avoid getting in trouble and simply treats “family dynamics” in states with conversion therapy bans. In a 2015 survey of more than 27,000 trans adults, nearly 1 in 7 said that a professional, such as a therapist, doctor, or religious adviser, had tried to make them not transgender; about half of respondents said they were minors at the time. By applying this rate to population estimates, the Williams Institute at UCLA projects that more than 135,000 trans adults nationwide have experienced some form of conversion therapy.

Despite the data, lawmakers frequently don’t believe that conversion therapy is still happening in their community, says Casey Pick, director of law and policy at the Trevor Project, the LGBTQ suicide prevention group. “We’re constantly running up against this misconception that this is an artifact of the past,” she says. So, five years ago, the Trevor Project began scouring psychologists’ websites and books, records of public testimony, and known conversion therapy referral services, looking for counselors who said they could alter someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation. As the research stretched on, Pick noticed webpages being revised to reflect changing times. “We saw many folks who seemed to leave the industry entirely,” she says. “But others changed their website, changed their keywords, [from] talking about creating ex-gays to talking about ex-trans.” Last December, Pick’s team published their report documenting active conversion therapists. They found more than 600 were licensed health care professionals and an additional 716 were clergy, lay ministers, or other unlicensed religious counselors.

According to Pick, some conversion therapists have embraced a new label for what they do: “gender exploratory therapy.” It’s a term that Cretella used to describe the approach she recommended, and unlike the other euphemisms thrown around at the conference, this has gained traction. In 2021, a group of therapists, who ranged from conflicted about medical interventions for kids with gender dysphoria to skeptical of the very concept of transgender identity, formed the Gender Exploratory Therapy Association (GETA) to promote an approach they characterize as neither conversion nor affirmation.

Some current and former leaders of the group, which claims a membership of 300 mental health providers, have been involved in influential organizations lobbying against gender-affirming care across the world, such as the Ireland-based Genspect and the Society for Evidence-Based Gender Medicine, a nonprofit registered in Idaho. They’ve notched some big wins: In November 2023, the UK Council for Psychotherapy—the nation’s top professional association—declared that it was fine for counselors to take GETA’s “exploratory” approach to gender. This April, a long-awaited review of gender-related care for youth in England’s National Health Service endorsed exploratory therapy, according to Alex Keuroghlian, an associate psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School. And in the United States, in cases in which families of trans children have sued states for banning gender-affirming care, the state often calls expert witnesses who endorse “exploratory” psychotherapy as their preferred alternative treatment.

After all, the idea of “exploring” one’s gender identity sounds benign. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health, which issues guidelines on gender-affirming treatment, recommends that clinicians working with teens “facilitate the exploration and expression of gender openly and respectfully so that no one particular identity is favored.” Yet, as with mindfulness, “that term has now been hijacked by folks on the other side,” says Judith Glassgold, a clinical psychologist who chaired the APA task force that in 2009 documented the lack of science behind conversion therapy.

GETA’s guidelines instruct therapists to dig deep into “the entire landscape of the young person’s life and subjective experience,” probing all possible reasons they might identify as transgender. The catch, says Glassgold, is that “exploration” means “trying to find negative reasons why someone’s diverse.” Last year, SAMHSA issued a report saying that “approaches that discourage youth from identifying as transgender or gender-diverse, and/or from expressing their gender identity” are sometimes “misleadingly referred to as ‘exploratory therapy.’” These approaches are “harmful and never appropriate,” the report concluded.

Mother Jones has a detailed report on a new form of the medically discredited practice known as conversion therapy called gender exploratory therapy. Gender exploratory therapy is the practice of making a person revert to their gender assigned at birth, which is essentially forced detransition by another name.

Read the full story at Mother Jones.

#Gender Exploratory Therapy #Conversion Therapy #LGBTQ+#Transgender #Detransitioners #Transphobia #Alliance for Therapeutic Choice and Scientific Integrity #Michelle Cretella #David Pickup #Laura Haynes #Gender Affirming Healthcare #WPATH #Cass Review #Gender Exploratory Therapy Association #Gender Identity #Social Contagion Myth #Gender Dysphoria #Forced Detransition

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