#your fave has borderline personality disorder

[your-fave-is-crippled]

link from LOZ! bpd, crippled, chronic pain, and cripplepunk pls <3333

yes!!!!

image one: [id: a dark grey flag with a dusty rainbow going from the bottom left corner up to the right, dark grey circles on top one in the middle of the other and link from legend of zelda in the middle of the image freeze frame ushing with a sword in his left hand, a shield in his right and a determined look on his face. :end id]

image two: [id: a flag with 8 horizontal stripes ranging from top to bottom as red, light pink, light red, white, dark red, light pink, dusty red and medium red. on top of the flag is link from legend of zelda in the middle of the image freeze frame ushing with a sword in his left hand, a shield in his right and a determined look on his face. :end id]

image three: [id: a flag with 6 horizontal stripes ranging from top to bottom as grey, light grey, light purple, purple, dark muted purple and dark grey. on top of the flag is link from legend of zelda in the middle of the image freeze frame ushing with a sword in his left hand, a shield in his right and a determined look on his face. :end id]

Link from The Legend Of Zelda is a cripple/crippled, supports cripplepunk, has chronic pain and BPD!

[yourfavehasapersonalitydisorder]

Ena Shinonome from Project Sekai has Histrionic and Borderline Personality Disorder.

(@wishfulfeline headcanon)

[a-sip-of-milo]

BPD Resources Masterlist

[NPD]

Creating this has made me realise just how much people underestimate/downplay the stigma surrounding BPD. It’s infuriating.

Anyway, here is the official resource masterlist for BPD. I will be adding to it as time goes on:)

BPD stigma

BPD stigma among clinicians

I have BPD and here’s 6 things I wish people understood

Mental health advocacy is pointless if you’ll support people with anxiety and depression but won’t support those with personality disorders

No I don’t need helping learning how to deal with a “borderline girlfriend”, I need help dealing with myself

Emotional abuse tag and BPD

The results when searching up how to manage BPD

BPD and suicide

Educating yourself on BPD

Basic info on BPD

NPD + BPD comorbidity

Why is it referred to as ‘borderline personality disorder’?

Facts vs. fiction about BPD

Living with BPD

BPD things that people don’t talk about enough

Loving with BPD is hard

Living, breathing, BPD

What it’s like living with BPD: a lived experience perspective

Managing BPD

Coping With BPD: DBT & CBT skills to soothe the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

The dialectal therapy skills workbook

A quick exercise: challenging self-hate

Different forms of therapy

Deep breathing gifs

Splitting with BPD

Chloe’s splitting checklist and reminders

What is splitting?

How I cope with splitting (written by someone with BPD)

BPD positivity so you don’t have to go looking

People with low/no empathy still have feelings

Several positive affirmations for people with cluster b disorders

If you have BPD, I love you

Some of the best people in my life are borderlines

You’re not a monster for having a personality disorder

So much love to my BPD bi boys out there

Positivity for systems with BPD

Positive traits of people with BPD

People with BPD deserve as much slack as neurotypicals

BPD safe blogs (also safe for cluster b disorders in general!)

@borderline-culture-is

@bpd00m

@citrine-rabbit

@cluster-b-culture-is

@gentle-positivity

@hellbrainspeaks

@your-fave-is-crippled

@mirroringshards

[edwinspaynes]

do you reckon matthew has adhd?

(i've seen some people really endorse it but also I feel like we're terrible at telling hyperactivity from hypomania, myself included, and it's possible that the old adhd stereotype isn't the best indicator)

this may or may not be me researching cyclothymia for myself too btw ;) and as a fellow adhder I also wish for all of the siderants in this post to be unapologetic <3 <3

Thank you for this. I do consider myself to have a PhD in Matthew Fairchild, so I'm excited to have a go here. Siderants incoming.

I don't want to get too deep into my own mental health issues on here, LOL. But I feel like it's almost impossible for me to talk about Matthew without being open about my own lens and viewpoint.

I need to preface this by stating that I relate VERY STRONGLY to Matthew in a ton of different ways, but one of the main ones is through a lens of mental health. We have similar symptoms and I definitely believe him to have a similar issue to myself. I am bipolar, have ADHD, and have PTSD. So this is where I am coming from; this is my background.

Matthew and PTSD

Let's just all agree right off the bat that Matthew has PTSD after the events of CLS. I don't think the word's used solely because it's 1903 and it doesn't exist. I'm pretty sure Cassie has said he has PTSD before directly. But also it's referred to in the books as "a shadow hanging over him" and a "hard edge." Everyone notes that his behavior changes after his mother's miscarriage. I'm not going to delve too much into this because it's literally canon and anyone with media literacy knows it.

Bipolar Matthew

I have very little doubt that Matthew is bipolar. He exhibits regular symptoms of depression and anxiety even as early as NBS and CLS. He also was completely out of control in several cases, and we see it most starkly when he blows up a wing of the Academy. If you read CLS, he seems completely unable to control his temper and detaches himself from the action as well, stating that in the interval between Alastair @ing him and his leaving school "a wing of the school blew up" rather than "he blew up a wing of the school". He also seemed incredibly giddy as talked with Will and then with Alastair as he told him he put all his things in the South Wing.

We see bipolar-esque impulsive behaviors in TLH, though TLH Matthew is definitely somewhat muted because of his alcoholism.

There is no arguing that Matthew suffers from depression in TLH, which manifests as addiction and also as what seems to be exhaustion. He falls asleep anywhere. Cassie herself has said that Matthew is depressed as well.

But, I also note that he has manic tendencies. He runs off to Paris with Cordelia extremely impulsively with almost 0 thought to the consequences. He jumps through the portal to Hell after James in a completely split-second decision. Thomas notes that Matthew has, for the longest time, believed that consequences were something that happened to other people rather than to himself and his friends. All of these things are consistent with bipolar disorder.

He also does something common to those both with BPD* and bipolar disorder called "splitting." Splitting happens when the person views others as either all good (Cordelia, James) or the literal scum of the earth with 0 gray area (Alastair, Grace). When shown gray area, he is jarred.

*I have also seen BPD peeps headcanon Matthew as borderline. When they talk about it, I can see an argument for it, but I do not personally think that Matthew has the shaky relationship insecurities that partly define BPD. He hates himself, but seems secure in the fact that others currently love him (even if he worries that they will not if they know of his Great Sin). I do not think he meets the BPD diagnostic criteria. But I am not a psychologist and am also biased as I am bipolar and want my fave character to be my Bipolar Buddy, lol.

ADHD Matthew

Getting to your question, does Matthew have ADHD?

This is actually the one that I'm least certain of.

He certainly does exhibit several ADHD-like traits. He's very externally boisterous and jubilant. He clearly hyperfixates on aesthetics and Oscar Wilde, talking about them in nearly every situation even when it's unrelated. (I find this funny because his Oscar Wilde obsession mirrors my TSC obsession. He's got a green carnation; I've got a clockwork angel pendant. It's amazing).

He also definitely shows difficulty focusing on tasks. However, it's impossible to say that this is a result of ADHD because of his addiction. Alcohol also causes people to have short attention spans and a bad memory, so this isn't saying much. The same goes for his poor physical coordination.

We would need to go solely from his time at school to figure this out. The only issue here is that it's challenging to separate Matthew's NBS behaviours from the fact that he was actively trying to get expelled. Did he really struggle to focus or did he just pretend to so he could piss off his teachers? Was he performing poorly because his needs were unmet or because he was purposely trying to be terrible? There's no telling, and I honestly suspect the latter.

So, I have no idea!

I personally think that Matthew may have ADHD solely because bipolar and PTSD exascerbate ADHD symptoms. All three of them exascerbate each other, actually. But I'm not too committed to this.

[livingfictionsystem]

So, my adhd/autistic freind has a grandmother with NPD who was extremely abusive towards her family, but i’m worried about my friends ableism towards other people with npd. she’s not met very many but she’s under the very common impression that everyone with npd is an abuser and an asshole, and idk if should get involved because her family was so hurt by someone with npd, but at the same time i’m worried about the way she’d behave if she met another person with npd in the future. do you have any advice?

Oooof.

Sparrow here. I'm sorry about your friend's family, sounds like some real generational trauma going on there.

Anecdotal storytime, sorry if this is rambly.

I did, a couple years ago, have a pretty big grudge against Borderline folks. My most recent abuser, Rowan, had borderline. We were on a pedestal, yknow, until we weren't. Same with my cohost's ex, AJ. A shitty ex-metamor of mine has BPD. I was straight up sick of pwBPD.

I know a lot about psychology but even I had this unfair anecdotal stereotype of someone locking themselves in the bathroom and hating you/needing you until you were stressed enough to give them what they wanted.

I knew *I* had some kinda serious disorder and was looking into bipolar when the highly ironic suggestion of Borderline hit me right in the face. And I mean I was TEXTBOOK, still am. I was in denial for a WHILE. The last thing I wanted was to see any reflection of my abuser in me. And people around me didn't really disparage NPD because they already had Xanthe's glittery, spotlight-hogging, self-aggrandizing self and thought they were p cool, but even people I was close with would take jabs at Bordies and I'd laugh along with them. I kept doing intense research just to prove it wrong in me and ended up proving it more and more right.

Then finally, I saw some positive examples. One of my besties in the outerworld has Borderline. Bojack Horseman, of all things, really helped me accept it in myself. I joined some online support groups. I see how loving we are, how creative, how most of us make fun of our own mood swings and our sui-ideation. How protective we are, how our impulsivity ends up with some really cool experiences and connections.

Now I've accepted it. But it would've been a lot harder of a road if I didn't have positive examples. And yknow Borderline is p much a half sibling to Narcissism.

Xanthe and Jasper were my great examples of NPD. Their hyper-independence, how that manipulative side can be used to talk friends out of spirals or abusive relationships, how they make sure everyone who benefits them has some sort of give-and-take even if they have to pull strings to do it, the intense insecurity and self-loathing under the arrogant facade. And omg are they masters at social chess, which is awesome when my tactless ass is floundering in turmoil and people wanna cancel me by proxy.

It's really only gonna be positive rep that does it for some people. Maybe your friend has a fave character that actually fits the NPD profile. (Alastor from Hazbin gives me NPD vibes p hard tbh.) Tons of creatives have it, like literally being self-absorbed is part of being famous lol. If you've got good examples to work with, it becomes a Lot easier.

Even better if you've got someone willing to poke fun at their disorder and educate. I can also always drop more NPD stories/memes/resources for you to have in your arsenal. And even just educating about other traumagenic disorders like BPD and DID and stuff may help other disorders by proxy, the same logic does apply.

But your friend may never accept it. And that would suck. But people want to blame a set of stereotypes rather than the casual cruelty of the universe. It's up to you whether that becomes a topic that you two just can't talk about or if it ends a friendship tbh.

But yeah sorry for the ramble, I hoped the more raw experience might help the perspective. Lmk if you have any specific scenarios or anything!

-Sparrow 🧷

[aropride]

YTA.

Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc.

first of all. seeing tiktoks abt bpd is not "knowing all about" it. googling it is not "knowing all about it". especially with something as stigmatized as bpd where a lot of articles are ableist about it. also saying people with a disorder are "clingy and manipulative" is ableist and also just mean.

she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag

how is that a red flag 😭?

One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her.

INFO: are you in love with mike?

I asked him on a date

ah.

Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns.

okay? good for him. it's weird that you've been using only she/her this whole time and it's weird to say "she says" and "according to her" about her identity bc it kind of implies a disbelief .

Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc.

you don't need to do any of that to be trans or nb and you don't need to do any of that to deserve respect. also do you know how hard it is to "start medical stuff" (which some people don't even want for a variety of completely valid reasons), how expensive binders are and how they can be hard to size and painful, etc etc etc. why should your friend change her presentation for you? why do you need him to do that to believe that he's trans? would you be judgemental of her if she had immediately started to take hormones or get surgery? respectfully, i think you would. i don't think this is about him at all, i think this is a you problem

We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it.

are you sure he doesn't have a problem with it or is her whole friend group misgendering him and he doesn't want to start drama. correcting someone who is misgendering u is terrifying ESPECIALLY when it's a friend u value and ESPECIALLY when it's a lot of people

Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc.

and? why does this matter? why should he perform masculinity for you to believe he's bigender? why can't she exist the way she feels comfortable?

Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK SOMEONE FOR THE BASIC DECENCY OF USING THE PROPER PRONOUNS. oh my god. there is so much transphobia and ableism to unpack in this post i barely even know where to start.

First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible.

INFO: How is this your business?

It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.

you literally just made this up and believed it. you have no proof for any of this it's all speculation because you don't like this person and are ableist against pwBPD.

It sounds terrible I know,

it does

the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.)

these people seem like assholes

So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike.

so SIX of you WENT TO HER HOUSE and ACCUSED HER OF "CATFISHING" (??? INFO: do you know what catfishing is) because she... has bpd and is trans in a way you dont like?

She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.

yeah no fucking shit. this is probably because you went to his house to talk shit about him, misgender him and tell him you think he's not really trans, said it was because of his BPD with, again, absolutely no proof. i would have flipped out on you too! what the hell is wrong with you! imagine if someone came to YOUR house, accused you of being a manipulative stalker because of a mental health issue you can't control, told you they thought you were faking your identity... frankly i think she responded very well.

Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone

THESE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW MIKE?????

and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further.

INFO: did you learn these words from tiktok too?

a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house

WHAT THE FUCK

they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic.

YOU ARE

Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but

there is no but. you don't get to decide who's really trans and who's not! nobody gets to decide that but the trans person in question! it is transphobic no matter what!

I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know,

based off of what? what has she ever done to make you think mike is in danger? i have not heard a single thing in this long ass post that implies she is hurting him or could hurt him and that's a super fucked up thing to baselessly accuse someone of.

as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.

that is not what's happening. you talked shit him behind his back, baselessly accusing him of faking his gender and being controlling/clingy/manipulative/abusive/etc, and now he has to try and repair the damage you have caused to his friendships. they have heard your side of the story and they have heard his and they chose him. he has done nothing messed up or abusive and you showed up at his house to verbally attack him and tried to convince his boyfriend to leave him off of, once again, entirely baseless claims. you were an asshole and now people don't like you. suck it up.

TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?

literally where the fuck did the stalking come from. this isn't what the situation was at all. a better TLDR is "am I the asshole for slandering my friend behind his back, misgendering her, saying cruel things about him because of his BPD, turning her friends against her, showing up at his house, trying to destroy her relationship, and calling him an abuser?"

the answer is yes, YTA.

INFO: What the fuck is wrong with you

aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.

I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.

However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.

Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.

Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.

First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.

It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.

I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.

TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?

What are these acronyms?

[your-fave-has-bpd]

Donnie Darko from Donnie Darko has BPD

[gigantomachy1916]

Hi! I'm sending this to all my fave L/Misa authors because I trust your taste: what are you favourite Lawmane fics posted outside of Ao3? Alternatively, is there some old stories you remember reading but can't find again? 👀

I'm actually currently working on a pretty exhaustive list of L/Misa fics that I like on AO3 and FFN (don't know any from any other sites), so I'm gonna wait until the list is done to post all my recommendations. But to name a few, some stories I like on FFN are:

Dynamism by keem (~51k words, smutty, one of the bigger influences on me when I was writing Liability)

Serious by Zerbinetta (~68k words, no smut, never finished but most of the plot is wrapped up so it's not as frustrating as Rewrite, basically a mashup of Death Note and Legally Blonde, with Misa as Elle Woods)

Breathless by thinking of england (~15k words, smutty, they write L a bit OOC and honestly kind of like a fuckboy, but it's still pretty decent stuff)

Before the Storm by Tokebi211 (~3k words, no actual smut but still kinda risque, Misa is released from custody and returns to her apartment to find L waiting for her, and they have a bit of a confrontation)

Arbitrium by MissDementia (~5k words, focuses on Misa's character and her thoughts about L and Light)

The Case He Could Only Watch by Sorentense (~5k words, mostly platonic with some interest from L, the most serious exploration I've found of the possibility that Misa has borderline personality disorder)

Believe by MiyakoHasegawa (~16k words, left unfinished, the setup isn't very clear or believable (for some reason, Light isn't there anymore, it's never explained, but Misa is still spending time with L and they start a relationship), but I like it because it gives a lot of cute/funny moments about what L and Misa trying to date would actually be like)

I know some people also like End Games. I enjoyed the first 15 chapters but had to stop reading because it hit a major trigger for me, but if you don't share my particular trigger, you'll probably enjoy it.

[mahhchedire]

"Gossip/anonymous radfem blogs" are the stupidest, most anti-feminist thing ever existed on this godforsaken website.

Feminist theory has been clear about a socially conditioned "impulse" (could be said better, but I'm at a loss for words rn) in women to put other women down and instead of healing yourself from this side effect of the patriarchy you're just going to fuel it? You're seriously going to make the radblr equivalent of Mean Girls' "burn book"? Do you think you're Regina George and your mutuals/followers are Cady, Gretchen and Karen?

(In that case, I would like to claim my spot as a Gretchen-fem because she's a fave of mine, thank you very much.)

No, I'm genuinely curious.

Radical feminist spaces are made for discussion and, aside from some basic beliefs that are necessary to claim you believe in a certain ideology, some issues don't have a clear cut radical feminist answer ; there are a lot of different opinions about women's relationship to mental health, mental illness diagnosis and therapy, for example.

Instead of sending a catty anon to some blog who leeches off "drama" and what mysoginists would call "catfights", why don't you try to have a productive conversation over differing points of view?

Agreeing to disagreeing is a thing and you're not forced to be all buddy buddy with everyone on radblr, but making a conscious choice to ignore someone you dislike sounds way healthier than what some of you are doing.

I cited the therapy example because I'm doing my research on Borderline Personality Disorder and developing my own opinion about it, which - surprise surprise - might be different from some other radfem's.

And does that bother me? No, because it's not enough to claim all women aren't a hivemind, you also have to practice what you preach.

There are radfems claiming it's not a real diagnosis and it's solely based in mysoginy, but I'm free to think otherwise: I agree that often the diagnosis process is mysoginistic, it's the "just go on birth control" of mental health, but I also think there are women who are genuinely described by the diagnosis criteria and sometimes there are no other conditions that describe their struggles as well as bdp does (or maybe there are, such as other conditions in co-morbidity, but a bpd diagnosis would still be a great help because it still identifies the core symptoms and patterns of someone's mental health struggle).

Something that comes off as fishy is the fact that there is no equivalent of a male bpd -- wait, actually, there is.

But the page that explains it is so laughable that is basically describes basic male behaviour, seriously take a look because I was laughing my ass off just reading it:

But aside from that, I don't think it's impossible for a female specific mental illness to have developed, despite the fact that it's not linked to women's biology (such as post-partum depression, which is certainly female specific, but more believable since it relies on a woman's biological functions).

Women have unique lived experiences and traumas ; it's not hard for me to believe in a female-specific ramification of ptsd.

See? I expressed an unsollicited, maybe controversial opinion ; I did it politely and I'm open to different points of view, it's called basic maturity.

Fuck's sake.

[wastrelwoods]

nureyev for the character asks? or your fave bad kid so far if he's alreadt been asked

oh god i got so many more asks than i was expecting...smh post-2017 tumblr conditioning me to forget sometimes people Interact With Posts

no anon u got in under the wire....u get the nureyev answer

why i like them: 

AH i just. have a soft spot in my heart for con men and you KNOW he provides. also fox imagery? you’re kidding me. i love his whole jaded revolutionary schtick i love the name symbolism i love when he’s a smug asshole and a repressed nerd...his theme music slaps so HARD

why i don’t:

idk i mean i guess there’s some stuff that comes with the territory of the character being a fan fave in terms of. sometimes stuff gets projected onto him that i think would be much more compelling to see a different character deal with instead? but tbh i’ll take two cakes 

favorite episode:

ohhhhh train from nowhere...i just fuck with it so hard....the arc about trust is just so interesting and i love to see him play bond and be kind of a competent badass

favorite season:

i GUESS season 1, since he wasn’t really in season 2 except for constant references to reassure the audience he was still around and i don’t feel like i have the measure of season 3 yet. i think interesting things are coming! but i also feel like maybe season 3 traded really strong individual episodes for a slightly less clear overall arc. or maybe i’m calling it too early! 

favorite line:

i’m not over the classic “every time nureyev says juno” bit but i like. very much. the point of final resting place where he’s shouting through the airlock...love to see a very composed character go a little ham

favorite outfit:

KFGHFGH he’s a podcast man! you can’t prove he’s ever worn clothes in his life! but anyone who draws him with a shirt that has definitely too many buttons left undone wins a medal

otp:

honestly like. juno’s got some flirty dynamics with other characters i can get into but nureyev is rly too gone on juno to consider anything else. in terms of platonic family dynamics tho i am REALLY wild for peter&mag

brotp:

i want him and vespa to have a standoff because i KNOW vespa can wipe the floor with him and i want to see it. i don’t even mean physical knife fight i just FEEL that she’s a better strategist than he is and he wouldn’t see it coming. but then they can be friends after. hey can he have like, one friend? any friends who know him? 

headcanon:

i see him oscillate wildly between thinking he’s the greatest motherfucker who has ever lived and an incompetent old fool...i see him do the anxious attachment and the vying for approval and the identity issues and i say borderline. disorder that man’s personality at once

unpopular opinion:

sdkljfdgh yeah whack that hornet’s nest! hit it like a pinata! smack smack motherfucker!!! 

nah i don’t really feel like i have an unpopular opinion about the guy as much as i wish i would just never have to have a take again about whether he’s Problematic or Villainous bc i think that misses the point. he’s literally both a conman and a send-up of the femme fatale archetype his whole THING is being hard to get a bead on in terms of what he’s planning and whether he can be trusted. all we can really be sure about is that he’s Going Through Some Shit Right Now and that this isn’t rly a show that celebrates punishing characters for their mistakes as much as it celebrates growth and life and recovery so. don’t be grimdark i guess

also i rly don’t care whether he has an ass or not. it matters not a whit to me. i think it would be nice if he was fat tho

a wish:

give him! a home!! perhaps a friend, even!! 

oh-god-please-don’t-ever-happen:

ah idk i feel like anything that feels within the realm of possibility in terms of tone and theme is something i wouldn’t mind seeing. fuckin...go ahead kabert. get his ass

5 words to describe them:

UHHHHHHHH can i be real i’ve spent like half an hour on this response and i don’t want to spend an hour digging through a thesaurus now i think he’s kind of arrogant but also very competent but also full of a lot of hope and tenderness and a stalwart moral core he does not listen to a lot of the time, so. some guilt  

my nickname for them:

do i have a nickname for nureyev? sneaky pete sometimes. or “thceif”

[shes-fast-like-me]

i know how much it matters to you

i know how much it matters to you

AO3 Link

Pairing(s): Established Lifetane, Gibby x his boyfriend

Word Count: 1,791

Warnings: Mentions of childhood neglect and bad parents, discussion of mental illness and trauma, alcohol. (Tell me if you feel anything else should be tagged!)

may was borderline personality disorder awareness month (alongside being adhd awareness and mental health awareness month in general) so i decided to project onto my fave. the symptoms of it aren’t 100% being portrayed here but this is something i feel like a lot of us relate to so?? idk man emotional impermanence be like that

=+=+=+=

"Here comes the big man himself!" Elliott called, twisting around in his seat to wave Makoa over to sit with them in the living space.

"Show us the ring!" Ajay beamed as the tall man made his way over to the other Legends gathered around their small makeshift coffee table. He held out his hand, a rather dainty bejeweled silver ring on his ring finger. Everyone cooed over it.

"You're so lucky, man," Elliott said, handing Makoa a beer as he sat down on the couch next to him, "congrats."

"Aye, thanks bruddahs," Makoa grinned from ear to ear. The man was always bright and full of smiles but Octavio swore he has never seen him this happy. He was almost radiant.

"When's the weddin'?" Ajay asked, sitting back against Octavio's side and sipping on her mocktail. She always hated alcohol so the drink was as fruity and non-alcoholic as Elliott could possibly mix up.

"Spring of next year," Makoa said, "We want some time on our honeymoon before the next season, so,"

Everyone nodded in agreement. The season breaks between spring and summer were a little longer than the autumn to winter breaks and since Makoa was proposed to this spring it gave them extra time to plan everything. Makoa and his fiancé had relatives all over the Frontier and would probably want to plan the wedding at a time when the most family members could attend. And the other Legends, of course.

"So," Octavio set his empty cocktail glass down and picked up a can of beer off the table. He could get a little drunk, it was only their first night back onto the dropship, the new season kicking off in two days. "Any idea for wedding gifts?"

He was loaded. He could afford pretty much anything they wanted.

"Ah, no, it's no problem, bruddah-"

"No, no, I insist," He decided to pour the beer into his empty glass anyway, not wanting to waste the ice cubes still sitting at the bottom, "anything you like, I got it."

Makoa laughed. "Just you showing up is enough for me."

"Alright," Octavio sat down into the headrest but still decided he was going to buy Makoa and his fiancé something anyway. After all, that's what you do at weddings, right? Octavio has been to many weddings before, many of them being his own father's, and the couple was always gifted a fancy car or yacht or something of the sort.

He mostly just tuned out the rest of the conversation. Talk of weddings always reminded him of his dad and how weddings were a near weekly occurance for him. He wanted to go for Makoa's sake, of course, and he would force himself to even if Ajay told him it was okay to stay home if it got too overwhelming. He'd just get blackout drunk at the party and probably just dissociate the whole evening, but he was willing to do that for his friend.

Later that evening, Octavio lay on Ajay's bed as they watched anime together on the small holo-TV provided in their temporary rooms. Octavio buried his face into Ajay's pink hair as they spooned, his arm around her waist. He would've fallen asleep if his anxiety wasn't keeping him up. If he had his legs on right now they'd be tapping away furiously, probably disturbing Ajay from watching the show altogether. Octavio kinda missed tapping his feet, he couldn't sleep without moving them and now that he didn't have them he'd imagine the sensation, like a ghost, and get sad whenever he realized it wasn't real. But that's such a small thing to get upset about.

His fingers grazed against the skin showing between Ajay's t-shirt and her sweatpants, tapping on the waistband as he worked up the courage to ask a question that has been itching at his brain all evening.

"Baby?" he said, uncertain of how to begin. She looked at him over her shoulder. "Have you ever thought.... about marriage?"

Instantly he cringed at the phrasing and tried to fix it. "I mean, not to me, necessarily. I'm just wondering- If you ever want to get married?"

She looked back towards the TV with a smile. "Depends who's askin'," she replied simply, "not at the moment though, I'm too busy. But it would be nice in the future."

Octavio bit his lip and really had the urge to tap his missing feet. The fear ached in his chest and he could feel his hands sweating. "I don't think I wanna get married," he said it quickly, almost afraid to hear her reaction. Verbally retracting as if he expected her to hit him or something. Why was that his instinctual reaction? No one ever hit him for speaking out.

She looked down at his hand and lightly brushed her fingers over his knuckles. "That's fine," she said but he couldn't pick up the tone. It made it feel worse. Was she upset? Was she hoping for a different answer?

"It's not," it took all his strength not to let his voice crack, assuming that she wasn’t satisfied with his answer. She turned to look at him properly. He tried to blink away the tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Babe, it's all fine. We don't have to get married. You don't have to get married, ever, if that's what makes you comfortable."

"But I want to," he said, voice trembling. "I want to make you happy if that’s what you want."

"I don't need marriage to be happy in life." She held his hand comfortingly and traced circles into it. "Besides, who says I'm gon' marry you?" She joked and he loved the way her nose scrunched up when she smiled at him. It lifted some of the weight off his chest and he smiled at the joke despite the tears.

"Okay," he swallowed and wiped the tears from his eyes, his fingers shaking.

"It's alright," she pushed the hair out of his eyes. He admired all the freckles dotting her skin. If Ajay let him stare at her for a while he could count them and maybe calm down a little bit, but that'd be weird of him to ask.

He let out a breath, "it's just," the tears were back but the tension of holding them in and bottling everything up was gone, "I don't want to be like my father."

"You're not." She whispered and studied his face as he continued.

"I don't wanna have kids and have them go through the same shit I did." Tears spilled from his eyes and down the sides of his cheeks. It hurt to think about treating his kids the way he was treated. He didn't even think his childhood had affected him that much until now. But it did, it hurt, it hurt to be ignored your whole life and live with no constants. He was constantly scared of everyone abandoning him, of things being taken away from him. Everything was so temporary to him, even Ajay. What if they got married and one day she decided she didn't love him anymore? How would he even handle something like that? He'd be crushed.

"You're not ya father," Ajay said calmly, bringing his hand up to her lips and kissing his knuckles, "and I've seen ya with my li'l cousins. You'd be a great dad. You said yaself you'd never want to hurt them the way your dad did, so you won't. Not intentionally."

"Do you think my father intended to hurt me?" He asked, his tone a little more passionate than he had intended it to be. "Obviously it was out of his control how I would react to-"

"Tavi, he did awful things to ya. You're allowed to be upset about it."

"But if I don't make excuses for him, how can I excuse my own shitty actions?" He covered his face and dug his palms into his eye sockets, blocking her out from his blurry view. "I'm even worse." His voice broke.

"You're not. You're ill. Ya just need some time and help to get things right. You're taking those steps. Your father never even considered that. That's what makes ya better than him."

It's true, he did have a therapist now, trying to help him manage the many disorders and issues he got stuck with. And he was trying so hard to be better, but it all felt so useless sometimes when he kept acting like this, being like this. Whenever he relapsed, whenever he split on someone, whenever he acted out or isolated or dissociated or cried. He always felt like he was taking steps backwards, not forwards.

"Listen, I know recovery's not easy for ya," she tapped her fingers on his chest and he moved his hands from his face to look at her as she spoke. "But you're pushin’ through it regardless. And I'm gon' be here for ya all the way through it, ya hear me? I'm not goin’ anywhere."

"Everyone says that." He sniffled.

"Yeah, well, I mean it," she said, "and I'll promise this to ya, that I won't leave ya alone no matter how hard it gets." She looked directly into his eyes, her soft voice calming his thoughts.

"Here," she said and took a beaded bracelet off her wrist. It was one of those kandi bracelets she sometimes wore, this one pink and purple with the word "LOVE" spelled out on it. "It's a promise." She held it out to him.

He looked at her hand, puzzled.

"It's like a promise ring. It should make ya feel better to have a physical representation of my promise to ya. I read that it helps with BPD to-"

He sat up and hugged her. "Thank you," he murmured into her shoulder. She pat his back and when they released each other he took the bracelet and put it on his wrist. "Thank you, " he breathed out again.

"Ya welcome." She smiled softly and honestly, her smile momentarily lit up the room. He was so lucky to have her.

"Now, can we finish the show? This next episode's the best one." She gestured with the remote to the paused screen. He hadn't even noticed when she paused it to speak to him. He smiled and nodded, laying back down on his side, her snuggling into him as she pressed 'play'.

"I'm sorry if I ruined the evening." He apologized.

"Ya didn't. I still love ya." She said and took his hand in hers, their fingers intertwined.

And after watching that magical girl show and breathing in her flowery perfume, Octavio finally found himself able to peacefully drift off to sleep for the night.

=+=+=+=

Taglist: @herondaleatheart @brontophile @moontearchild @soulheartthewolf @hey-its-mika @xbeaxbeax (You may always ask to be added or taken off the list! Being on the taglist notifies you of whenever I post a fic so if you are interested, please message me!)

[your-fave-is-crippled]

LEGO JOKER....... IT IS HYPERMOBILE & HAS SCOLIOSIS & BORDERLINE PD!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !! Sometimes it uses forearm crutches :}

[Joker gets it/itsd because I like projecting]

i dont have a flag for hypermobile or scoliosis atm but i will gladly make them soon and post the edits on here after i do!

image one: [id: a dark grey flag with a dusty rainbow going from the bottom left corner up to the right, dark grey circles on top one in the middle of the other and the joker from the lego batman movie in the middle of the image looking at the viewer. :end id]

image two: [id: a flag with 6 horizontal stripes ranging from top to bottom as grey, light grey, light purple, purple, dark muted purple and dark grey. on top of the flag in the middle of the image is the joker from the lego batman movie looking at the viewer. :end id]

image three: [id: a flag with a grey border around 7 vertical stripes ranging from left to right as dusty pink, pink-orange, red-orange, dark orange, orange, light orange and yellow orange. in the middle of the image on top of the flag is the joker from the lego batman movie looking at the viewer. :end id]

The Lego Joker from The Lego Batman Movie is a cripple, has BPD and is a forearm crutch user!

[yourfavehasapersonalitydisorder]

Argenti from Honkai: Star Rail has Borderline Personality Disorder.

(anon headcanon)

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

So as most of you know, I have been trapped in Haikyuu hell thanks to my boyfriend for the last week and a half. I'm already midway through season two but I'm taking a bit of a break from binging to get my sixth episode in my cartoon script out by next weeks end. For those of you that talk to my religiously (my boyfriend, or my best friend Tara of @targaryens-blog) then this OC will already be familiar to you! If not I wanted to introduce her to all of you as well as some of my favorite HC ideas for her and her canon partner.

Aratani is a student at Nekoma who went there with a specific goal in mind. Before she won best female libero in her prefecture, she met a boy that occupied all her thoughts through her best friend Bokuto. That boy was, of course, my best boi Tetsurou Kuroo. Her first early morning practice she runs into the object of her affections and the rest was as they say history.

Aratani is a more... reckless libero and she often gets hurt trying to go after seemingly impossible balls and managing to get injured with cuts, bruises, and scars along the way. She has a scar on her right hand from a beach volleyball incident. She is naturally a bit more quiet then her best friend. She isn't as loud or chaotic without Bokuto. She's a lot more reserved and shy in fact when he isn't around her. But when he is around her hoo boy the chaos is real. Their one on ones could literally last for hours without either of them taking a break unless one or both of their significant others stop them.

Aratani also loves video games! This makes her really close with Kenma something that I wanted to do because if you date Kuroo automatically Kenma has to fit in there somewhere. I HC Kenma as on the spectrum mainly because of how quiet he is and how obsessed with video games he is. They are a remarkably common special interest of those that are on the autism spectrum.

She is also Bokuto's next door neighbor! They met when she was six and they've been besties ever since that day. He was the one who taught her everything that she knows about volleyball as a sport. They're those friends that tell each other literally everything because both of them are on the mental health spectrum (more on that later!)

For my HCs if you want to stay that long they will be behind the read more line!

HC time!

Her with Kuroo:

*Her and Kuroo have that relationship where nobody understands how it works except for them. To the outside world they're complete opposites but to each other, they're perfect.

*If there is anybody in the relationship that knows they are in charge it's Aratani. Kuroo would willingly follow her anywhere that she wanted to go (Kenma always jokingly tells him that he's such a whipped simp for his gf but he just loves her so much and that's the tea sis.)

*Kuroo absolutely, 1 billion percent, screams like a woman. If you want an example, Tara told me that he screams like Jonah Hill does in The Accepted. I died laughing.

*He is also terrified of bugs. Even the little ones have him quaking in terror and screaming for Aratani to get rid of them.

*Aratani is insanely strong. Like she's small but could totally kick your ass and everybody knows it. Most of the Nekoma volleyball team is terrified of her, especially Lev because damn does Tani have a mean glare. Most of the time though she loves her best friends.

*She starts off incredibly shy but once you get to know her you find out that she's stubborn, cocky, confident, boisterous. Kuroo loves all these different sides of her his favorite is definitely her confident side. He loves that she doesn't let anybody get to her. Whenever people talk down to her she'll just come at them ten times harder (he also finds this part of her massively sexy-somebody please help him LMAO)

*Not only does Kenma have autism, but it is of my general experience and consensus that Akaashi has aspergers. You can pry this HC from my cold dead fingers.

*Aratani loves Disney. She's that Disney fan that prefers the older films and she could watch Brother Bear a million times more than she already has and still not be tired of it. Her other favorite is one of my underrated faves The Happiest Millionaire. Her and Kuroo's first official date was to Tokyo Disneyland when her aunt had a showcase.

*She could spend hours playing with Kuroo's hair. It doesn't matter what they're doing but she just loves when he rests his head in her lap and plays with his hair.

*Going along with the hair HC Kuroo is obsessed with hers. He's always preferred girls with longer hair but the second she took her hair out of her bun that she uses for volleyball when he first met her he was stricken with her.

*Aratani radiates little spoon energy. Even if she was taller she still would because as strong as she is she loves being comforted.

*When I write for them I see them as Annabeth and Percy in the Percy Jackson books. I feel like that gives them a sold mood in general.

Her with Bokuto:

*Bokuto has borderline personality disorder. He also has ADD. His lows get super low so she has to be there for him. She loves being there to support and love her best friend. *They are absolutely the two people who sing to Disney songs while on the ride. Especially if the song is catchy. The only one where they don't is Small World because usually Aratani cries on that ride. She loves the song and it makes her really emotional. *Bokuto actually writes his own songs. It's how he expresses himself when he's at a low point. Aratani sings the songs that he writes for his Instagram.

*Platonic. Cuddle. Besties. That's all. They are super clingy with each other during their movie nights because they've been friends for so long.

*No matter what she can always count on Bo to be there before anybody else even Kuroo. He'll just run to her no matter how far he is.

*They could literally spend days together just hanging out and most of their summers are spent at Aratani's backyard swimming in her backyard.

*Bo is Aratani's go to taste tester for sweets. She loves to bake for him mostly because it's something that makes him happy.

*(His favorite of her sweets is her mint chip brownies)*He us also the king of braiding her hair. He loves to just play with her curls especially since it's calming to him.

*Bo loves to watch her play video games. He could just rest against her as she plays Kenma in Mario Kart. Video games are something that he's never been the best at but he could just rest next to her.

[teaveetamer]

Edelgard really reminds me of my father. He has suspected but undiagnosed narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorder (he always stops going to therapy when it is brought up). Everything was always about him and everyone should just adjust themselves to him and he always blames others for everything while never taking responsibility himself. This is way Edelgard really puts me off because I know how toxic and destructive this kind of behavior can be. (1/2)

What is especially jarring to me is that people almost always portray Edelgard and Byleth in a wholesome relationship, but Edelgard should first have to work very hard on herself in order for that to happen. The argument that it's all okay because she was abused also doesn't fly with me. My father was also emotionally abused by his mother, while that may explain his behavior it does absolutely not excuse it. (2/2)

You know I have to agree with you on the narcissism. Though honestly we’re at the point where I can’t tell if she really is that narcissistic in the game, or if her stans constant defense of her is making her feel more and more narcissistic to me.

I can’t remember if I ever posted this, but the whole “Narcissist’s Prayer” thing is spot on when it comes to tracking the path Edeldiscourse has followed over the past year. Obviously I’m not saying everyone who likes Edelgard is a narcissist, it’s just really, really hard to not see the pattern in their behavior as they defend their fave.

Narcissist's Prayer That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. <-(When I first noticed this progression) And if it is, it is not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did. You deserved it. <-(We are currently here.)

And really I think “I was abused so it’s okay for me to inflict pain on others” only works if you have some degree of self-centeredness, because you have refuse to acknowledge that other people are not just extras in your grand story. They have thoughts, hopes, dreams, and feelings, and more often than not they have done nothing to warrant your abuse.

[bravomckenzie]

List 10 facts about yourself, then put this in the ask box of 10 of your mutuals. Learn to know your mutuals ✨✨

bold of you to assume i even know ten things about myself. but let’s give it a go laid ease

i mentioned it forever ago but i’m a ride or die, die hard demi lovato stan. she’s my favorite person in the whole world. i’ve stanned since i was nine years old and i’m 22 now.

i’m a big football fan! the new orleans saints are my team.

my friends are the most important ppl in the universe to me and i put them above everyone. they’re my chosen family and i love them n i’ll always take care of them

most ppl been knew but i’m a disney person lmao i go to disney world twice a year and my dream is to be a cast member one day!!

my taste in music is very chaotic. i listen to almost everything. country music included. 🤠

i’ve got 21 tattoos and like half of them are ugly but i love them anyways

i’ve mentioned it a couple times but it’s important to me so i have borderline personality disorder! i make a point to tell people because it’s a frequently villainized disorder and i want to show ppl that borderlines aren’t automatically bad.

my fave show of all time is lie to me! it’s on hulu and if you like criminal minds you’d LOVE it. also my second fave is teen wolf as literally anyone who has ever met me knows.

1d af. to this day. TO THIS DAY.

i’ve mentioned being a regular makeup artist but i don’t think i’ve ever posted that i do special effects makeup too! the bloodier and gorier, the better. 🔪🩸

thank you for caring enough to send me this!!!! 🖤🖤🖤