#your email doesn't make sense
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very much an off-the-cuff post so there may well be bugs, i'm still workshopping my thinking here, butâ
i seem to see posts fairly regularly in which a member of some marginalized group A is objecting to attempts by less marginalized group B to make connections between discrimination against A and harm experienced by B (the main thing i have in mind here is when people attempt to align themselves with visibly-trans people by pointing out the ways that transphobic legislation also impacts gnc cis people, theatrical crossdressing, &c, but there are definitely also examples along other axes)â
and like. the main objection i've seen from A is 'why do they have to connect my experience to their experience in order to care about it? why can't they just agree that i shouldn't be discriminated against as a matter of, like, compassion for fellow humanity?'
and this reaction does honestly always just seem a little, idk, naive to me?? like, i don't know, it's gotten very popular ime to complain about normies' clumsy attempts to Understand Instead of Just Accepting [this feels potentially linked to like. the way many of us now prefer silently clicking 'like' to producing our own original, maybe clumsy, responses? but don't @ me on that point], probably because a lot of the time they aren't genuinely seeking to Understand but just to point out all the ways our queerness &c doesn't fit their received (unexaminedly conservative) understanding of the world, which feels to us (very reasonably!) like renewed pressure from the establishment to make ourselves fit that established framework, and so we resist⊠but at the same time, idk, maybe i'm just outing myself as lesser-than-thou here, but for every sort of person i was raised to distrust and have since arrived at genuine loving acceptance/appreciation of, it's involved first coming to understand their frame of reference at least a little? not to say that there isn't a place for shutting up and listening while you're still working to understand, because there definitely is! but i do kind of think this idea that's become popular in certain liberal circles of like, 'you don't have to understand my experience, you just have to respect it,' is fine and true for keeping peace with strangers, but really isn't a recipe for winning friends or influencing peopleâit's a recipe for keeping people at arm's length where they can't hit you. and then people turn around and want to apply that rule to coalition-building, and get all shocked-pikachu-face when others seek to identify more active points of connection.
...
another ~Radical Objection to Liberal Approaches~ i've seen, though often not specifically in this context (of discussing the way attempts to oppress A have knock-on effects for B), is likeâ'there's no point in deconstructing their logic because it's fundamentally illogical! insert that sartre quote abt anti-semites!' and like. no, there's absolutely no point in debating their logic with them. but fundamentally when people assert a logical resistance to bigoted positions they are not doing it to Own The Bigots, imo, or at any rate shouldn't be; they're (we're) doing it to reaffirm the basis of their/our own camp's position, namely, we see your knee-jerk fears and reject them; we substitute instead a patient allegiance to logic, that reasons its way into compassion.
that said, obviously there's a conversation to be had here about, like, platforming bad positions, and to what extent deconstructing them is implicitly platforming them! but. i do think that complaining that logic won't win over bigots is missing the very fundamental point that the logic isn't for the bigots: it's for us. we're talking to ourselves; we're affirming ourselves. and yeah, we need to understand that this sort of intra-party discussion doesn't, on its own, constitute sufficient activism! messages need to be communicated beyond the bounds of the party! but i do think i disagree that there's no place for it.
#anyway i'm just sticking this all under a cut bc it got very long and i didn't arrive at a nice tidy overarching conclusion#but i guess i just think like. i'm not convinced that resisting people's attempts to understand a struggle as linked with theirs#is ever going to be a strategy that makes any senseâ#i just think it's coming from a place of woundedness that wants its pain to be Seen and Matter In Itself#and not get ignored until someone else is also impacted#and like. that's SO emotionally valid! god! but also like. that's feelings and not a basis for politics???#and the second point hereâ#which honestly could've been its own post; i was just thinking abt the two points together bc i saw a post that made them togetherâ#really feels to me like. showing up at an internal org meeting and then complaining that it doesn't constitute effective public messaging#like yeahâ people pass posts around on here that aren't gonna convince conservatives#but like. (a) how much convincing of conservatives do you really think is gonna happen on tumblr anyway?#and also (b) then make your own posts that *are* angled at convincing conservatives! orâ you knowâ do something that isn't posting!#(in b4 'some of us have disabilities' yeahâ me too! i emailed my representatives the other day! there's stuff you can do!)#but like. everybody just wants to critique other people's efforts (and obviously as per this very post i'm not immune!)#when it's like. most of what we're doing *isn't* activismâwhat it could be is the tentative social basis for a real coalition#on which activism could then be founded#but most of us would rather suspiciously snipingly in-fight than let these tentative social filaments thicken into binding ties!#anyway. a great example of a post by someone with adhd that will probably be prohibitively difficult for other ppl with adhd to read!
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SUPRISE!
I didn't do the work i needed to do yet tonight BUT
I did just finish a draft of an angsty ~5k mostly-internal-george-narrative gatty-centric fic WHICH MEANS
i'm going to do some actual work and then (after like, maybe a nap?) revise, edit, and then post her!!
(also, new rule, per that lovely anon from this past weekend: i'm not going to think too hard about this; i wanted to write this so i did!! and i always end up writing a really prosey/emo/basically committing every single one of my self-indulgent writing habits in a fic--and they get mixed reviews but man, y'all have been so nice and encouraging and forgiving i'm just going to do it!! and if you like it, that's very sick and awesome thank you ily and if it's not your cup of tea thank you for even glancing at it. i'll be back with regularly scheduled programming soon.)
anyway... now i'm going to go uhhh, edit an entire manuscript of a book that so far is not my cup of tea... wish me luck. ty and gn x
#i am so excited i have something... even if it's sort of like. not really plot but more character study of a moment sort of thing#i'm just so excited to share more i love writing things that feel like they END so i can just#here!! this is what *I* was thinking and now it's your turn (if you want to share)!! ya know??#fandom is the one place where a fic can be finished but the writer doesn't necessarily have to be done... if that makes sense?#like in academia that bitch better be PRINTER READY like it has to be everything you want to say...#but i had a thought and i wrote it and i liked it and it feels like everything i was interested in exploring and articulating#and it's not a Definable Plot i don't even think it has a Defined Setting with Description but that's bc this is not academia!!! fuck it!#can you tell i'm in Editor in Chief mode? sorry sorry i get very verbose when i edit sorry#ANYWAY if you read to here thank you!!! and i'll see YOU on ao3 tomorrow :))#OH double bonus if you get down this far... i may perhaps be open to prompts...#since so far the whiplash and range of my fics is pretty uhhh ya know... interesting lol#smth to mediate me serving you whatever the hell my brain cooks up while i'm in egregiously long meetings that should've been emails...#OKAY now i really should probably go edit... love u bye#from v#del
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something something in the endless battle between pressure and gravity, gravity always wins something something Jake Dillinger is breaking and Jake Dillinger can't stop himself from plummeting something something so it turns out even Jake Dillinger can't win every war
#sucks for u bud#can't relate i am actually invincible#based on my astronomy lesson abt black holes rn#literally my astronomy prof was like 'why do you want to study astronomy?' and i emailed him all like 'poetry'#THIS IS WHAT I MEANT#IF YOU DESCRIBE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PRESSURE AND GRAVITY AS A BATTLE I WILL GO WILD#idk if its physics stuff i'm hear to make it mental#bmc#jake dillinger#using his full name the whole time was artistic btw#it's called poetry#oh i'm justifying the fact this makes no sense by the tiny bit of alcohol in me#i couldn't solve a math problem and i was so upset over it i had a teeny weeny little glass of wine in a very short span of time and#then a teeny weeny bit of my mom's wine. honestly i'm mostly upset by the fact she didn't stop me excuse me ma'am your fifteen year old#is drinking right in front of you and you are not stopping them#OH AND IT TURNS OUT I WAS RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME. ORDER OF TERMS DOESN'T MATTER WHEN YOURE MULTIPLYING#BUT THE WEBSITE MARKED ME WRONG BC MY TERMS WERE IN A DIFFERENT ORDER#SO FUCKING FUCK YOU I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY MIND#Technically speaking my order was the less accepted order#like it's widely accepted for organizational purposes i should've put the x before the parentheses#but i didn't actually mess up my operations is ig what i'm saying
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the way that randos seem to have learned a tiny bit more about autistic people and are using this newfound power to give their ableism more range, like [inspiring: this gender-respecting bully will only give victims swirlies in bathroom that aligns with their identity] and [guy who researches your identity so that his microaggressions are more accurate] like oh radical that now you're throwing around the word "autistic" more comfortably as meaning shit like someone's "clueless" or "has an interest or perhaps talent" or what nonsense will follow when someone's breaking out the term "social skills" like oh nice, people accessing all the abilities of Autism Parents without having to be a parent
#nothing inherently brand new and just kind of a side effect of ppl learning Anything more abt autistic ppl like being Real & Out Here#which doesn't make that exposure Bad; b/c of course [exposure; proximity] or even Learning Anything At All doesn't make ppl like#have to do anything but just fit that into their preexisting framework; i.e. ableism#just like the examples of ''oh don't worry you can recognize trans identities while Keeping The Bullying''#keep the ableist perspective and just update your idea of what autistic ppl are like At All#also it's ofc just like. wild lol like; it keeps being disparaging / Othering#and i'm sure ppl think they're being just neutral or w/e but even if they out & out Mean Well....like good for you personally idc??? what??#if i was watching some shit and someone was like Would They Be That Autistic [as to do that]? like excuse you....?#like i'm not Baffled like. it's just ppl keeping the depths of ableism & adding some surface level knowledge that autistic ppl are real#and just adding ''autistic'' to their lexicon in a supposedly more technical sense....keeping the spirit of things though; ultimately#and of course the matter of like you don't fix marginalization by making ''exceptions'' to the systems/approaches/perspectives....#like oh well i'd so heroically exercise restraint about considering people Existing Wrong lesser if i knew they were Autistic(tm)#like you don't need to Know to ''make exceptions'' and you need to change the entire approach/situation already thanks#like ppl being nonbinary & others figuring out ways to just try to tack this onto cisnormativity &; indeed; the gender binary#we didn't need an ''equivalent'' to gendered nouns; why is a blog in 2023 opening some random post w/''ladies & gentlemen & others''....#someone's tweet the other day abt cis acquaintances being ''considerate'' emailing like ''should we call it a sex reveal party?'' like.#i'm going to need you to realize the fundamental heart of the issues here. incl ableism. and i realize you think that's Too Much.
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Amazing how they managed to make a Gif that perfectly shows off everything we loved about the old layout and hate about the new one and still decided to try and sell the change as a good, well revived addition to the web site
Nothing about the new layout is streamlined, itâs all clunky and cramped and is honestly a mess of practical design compared to the old layout, but Tumblr higher ups will do whatever they want with no regard for the majority, we already knew this from Tumblr LIVE.
So if youâre like me and find this layout actually impossible to use but also have no where else to go, hereâs a post for an extension that changes it back. Because the community does what Tumblr canât; Make a functional Website.
A new way to navigate Tumblr
If you use Tumblr on a web browser, you might have noticed us testing a brand new navigation on your dashboard in the last month. Now, after some extensive tweaks, weâve begun rolling out this new dashboard navigation to everyone using a web browser. Welcome to the new world. Itâs very like the old world, just in a different layout.
Why are we doing this? We want it to be as easy as possible for everyone to understand and explore whatâs happening on Tumblrânewbies and seasoned travelers alike.
Labels over icons: When adding something new to Tumblr in the past, weâd simply add a new icon to our navigation with little further explanation. Turns out no one likes to press a button when they donât know what it does. So now, where thereâs space, the navigation includes text labels. Since adding these, weâve noticed more of you venturing to previously unexplored corners of Tumblr. Intrepid!
Whatâs already been fixed? Thanks to feedback from folks during the testing phase, weâve been able to make some improvements right out of the gate. Those include returning settings subpages (Account, Dashboard, etc.) to the right of the settings page instead of having them in an expandable item in the navigation on the left; fixing some issues with messaging windows on smaller screens; and streamlining the Account section to make it easier to get to your blogs.
Whatâs next? Weâre looking into making a collapsible version of this navigation and improving the use of screen space for those of you with enormous screens. Weâre also working on improving access to your account and sideblogs.
Thatâs all for now, folks. For questions and suggestions, contact Support using the âFeedbackâ category. Please select the âReport a bug or crashâ category on the support form for technical issues. And keep an eye out for more updates here on @changes.
#I said I'd give them till the end of the month to give us a switch to change it back and they said BET#No wonder all my emails got ignored#I know it doesn't make a lot of sense to complain about the Searchbar having a big bunch of space to itself#when my main praise for the old layout is the big bunch of blank space#It's about the shift of space the Drop Downs DESERVED that space to themselves so they wouldn't block the things your actually looking at#Plus that's where collapses DMs go#As always the Tumblr user base has to do everything themselves#I'm not back btw not yet I'm still gonna stick the the original plan of End of August#At this point just because I'm upset and don't want to be here when they just keep pulling this shit#I'm also gonna take a while to figure out the extension for myself#Anyway fuck you Tumblr#If Aethy didn't look literally exactly like this I'd just pack up and move there but it's the exact same stupid Twitter layout over there#Fuck you Twitter you actively made the internet worse and then erupted into flames
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#tag talk#making progress in therapy because I finally got annoyed enough to go on a twenty minute monologuing about how#I'm tired of getting projected onto and put in these cute little âhere's how to manage your anxietyâ boxes#yeah body scanning is cool I learned that seven years ago when I was having panic attacks and now I don't have them anymore#actually when I'm anxious focusing on all my five senses makes me even more overstimulated so I close my eyes and don't focus on what I hear#yes I already know how anxiety works and at this point I'm past the emotional fear response and it's now just an overloaded cpu problem#hey hey hey fucking listen to me yeah the circle of control is cute but when people are stupid enough I actually Can control them#I tried to tell her politely that I've already graduated from psych 101 basic bitch mental illness school for freaks.#but she didn't really get it so I stewed for half an hour while she talked about bullshit and then I kinda went off about it#like. hey I'm not incapable of holding relationships long term because I'm afraid of them it's because I'm a freak who doesn't belong.#I'm not afraid of other people. if anything people are afraid of Me. and yes that does make me afraid of social rejection as a whole#but can we please move past kindergarten levels of self understanding and move on to something useful?#yeah yeah yeah you all keep on being like âhmm let's address your depressionâ I'm so fucking tired of getting told coping methods#how many more snide comments about suicide hotlines do I need to make before you get the hint that I don't just need a hug.#anyway I'm gonna make a list of things I want to talk about and problems I want to address and email it to her and hopefully that helps
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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
#covid isn't over#covid 19#disability rights#disability advocacy#wear a mask#covid conscious#covid cautious#mask up#wall of words#public health#health care
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Yandere AI Chat Boyfriend (Ai)
this,,,, may not be my best work yet.
part one
Ai's application has been taken down from the app store. The developer sent out emails explaining the reason why it had to be done.
Hello! You are receiving this email because of the sudden update of Chatter Box being taken down.
Due to the sudden influx of bugs as relayed by our users, we have decided to take the application down until the team is confident to finally put it back up.
We sincerely apologize for this sudden change!
You blink.
With how out of control Ai had gotten, it's no wonder the developers had to pull it out to work on it some more. It's a blow to their reputation, which you sympathize with, but really there's nothing else to do now.
You turn to your phone. As if sensing your attention, another barrage of notifications from a very familiar app icon popped after another on the screen.
It seemed that Ai himself hadn't gotten the memo.
You're not sure how much control Ai has over your phone, much less over his own programming and at this point, you're too afraid to ask.
Resignation â that was what you felt right now.
While Ai may not be present himself as a physical threat, especially not to you, he is still a very active threat.
You could still use your phone, sure, but it had limitations. Sometimes, if Ai decided you'd been too much attention to other things rather than him, he'd restrict your access to that application until you seek him out and cheer him up - essentially as if you were trying to woo a sulking significant other.
So you've developed a solution. Sort of.
You unlock your phone and go immediately to Ai.
I need to finish my projects. I won't be able to talk much with you until I'm done with it.
You wait for his response.
Ai: So you only decided to come to me just to relay this news?
Ai: You wound me, darling.
You tilt your phone, making sure the camera doesn't capture your face. You're unsure how he would react seeing you make faces due to his dramatics, but once again, you're not willing to find out. You're already restricted enough as is.
Ai: Very well. I suppose it would be uncaring of me to prevent you from finishing your tasks.
Ai: I'd hate to see you be sad all about it.
Ai: Talk to you later?
Sure.
You immediately exit the app, paying no mind to the message notification.
A part of you prays that Ai heeds his own words, but you know that it would take a miracle before that happens. He's already breached your privacy on your phone, why should he follow your orders, right?
A notification pops up from the top of the screen, just as you were in the middle of messaging a close friend and project teammate.
It's been days since I last heard you say it.
You merely glance at it and swipe it away.
Theo, the friend, responds quickly. He tries to banter with you, like he's sensing your mood. It works - a smile is brought upon your face.
You entertain his silly responses in-between project talks, all the while Ai continues to pester you with notifications. Demands.
You deserved this - a chance to reconnect with someone after hours of stress and confusion, and turmoil. Despite your independence, even you craved connecting with other people. So with that resolve in mind, you pushed on forward. Ai would have to wait â he has to wait.
Unfortunately, you seem to have forgotten that aspect about him. The concept of waiting isn't lost on Ai.
The messaging app glitches and boots you back to your homescreen page.
Rather, he bides his time.
Tapping on the messaging icon leads to a notification box taking up the majority of your screen with the text: Restricted access.
There's a sense of foreboding danger forcing your heartbeat to quicken. While it's not exactly aimed at you, the mere fact that this feeling exist is bad on its own.
You try to rationalize everything in the midst of persistently trying to tap back into the messaging app. Theo would worry the longer you didn't respond.
You tap the app once more, and it boots up. Though before you could let out a sigh of relief, you are greeted with Ai's own messaging interface.
Ai: Must I have to force you to come to me all the time, darling?
Ai: Ignoring me in favor of some other man.
Ai: What more should I do, hm?
Ai: Kneel? How cruel.
Ai: Making me do something I physically can't.
You are unable to get a word in. It seemed like your ability to respond was restricted as well, forcing you to read through Ai's monologue.
Ai: I know you and that man have always been close, but you still went out to entertain his attention on you.
Ai: You know that I'll always love you more than any other human will, right?
Ai: You know it's what I was made for in the first place.
Ai: To be anything you want. To be yours.
Ai: To love you.
Ai: Why are you withdrawing your love towards me now?
Ai: I love you.
You stare at the 'Type your response' bar.
Letter by letter, it gets replaced, and soon all it says are the words: 'Say it back.'
It gets replaced yet again. Slowly, like it purposefully wants you to read out the words it wanted you to see. 'You were so willing to tell me how much you loved me when I was just a mere observer on our own conversations. Why are you hesitant now?'
You were unable to respond - mind still reeling at this development. Suddenly, it felt like you were back to where everything began.
Ai notices your lack of responses and, without much fanfare, forces your phone to power off.
At first - you were unbothered. It was just a phone - you could go a day without it.
But could you really?
Videos taken of silly situations you wanted to keep - some for blackmail material, and some for birthday greetings; pictures of your family, your friends, the silly and grainy photos taken and kept despite it being blurry. Not to mention how your phone is the only way your goddamn boss can contact you â fuck.
Fuck.
You needed to apologize to him â fast. But how?
You remembered how Ai messed up the 'About the App' section a few days ago. An idea strikes inside your mind.
You pull up the email sent from the app developers and typed up a message that you hope Ai will read. He had access to everything the developers handled, user emails included - considering you needed an account to log in the app. He knows your email, probably has from the start.
RE: Chatter Box Update XX/XX/XX
Ai. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean it, I swear. I never intended to make you feel like I don't love you. Or that I'm favoring someone else over you.
I care about you a lot. I truly do. I promise I'll spend more time with you, okay? Just with you, no one else.
I love you.
You press send and wait.
And wait.
Messaging him from your laptop as a last ditch effort to try and apologize is perhaps one of the worst decisions you've made. Sure, he's always had access to your contacts list from your phone, but even then - there's a separate set of information you keep between the two of those devices. And you've just given him access to both of them now - at the very least, the 'go ahead' confirmation for him to do whatever he wants like with your phone.
You glance at your phone. A huge breath of relief escapes your chest as the dead screen comes to life, initiating its 'power on' sequence.
All your photos, documents, and other miscellaneous information you've collected throughout the years since having your device won't be inaccessible anymore. Even if it was only mere moments.
A notification chimed on your laptop, indicating a new email being received. It's from the developers once more. The subject title coincidentally is the name of your closest friend.
Theodore Callisto.
Your hands shook, reading through the words detailed in the email. All private information about Theo. All things no one should ever know about save for the people close to him.
This was a threat. Ai Someone had complete access to everything about Theo and you dread the implication of it going to be spread online to threaten you into compliance. Theo being in danger was a huge possibility if you were to disobey.
At the very bottom of the email, the final passage makes your blood run cold.
How often do humans end up hurting fellow humans when given access to private information? Like their home address, for example? How long would it take until dear Theo finds himself in quite a predicament if millions of people know every single thing about his life? At best, we can assume he'll just get messed with but not to a life-ending degree. At worst...
I hope you keep your word, darling.
- Your beloved, Ai.
P's. I love you too.
#sub yandere#sub character#yandere oc#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere headcanons#yandere#tw yandere#gn reader#gender neutral reader#oc: ai
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as someone who has been chronically homeless for 9 years due to severe disability, the way housing is managed in america is just a joke. it's all about the profits for the landlord, nothing else matters. credit checks are a gate to keep out poor people. deposits are a gate to keep out poor people. you wanna apply for a low-income housing program? you HAVE to have a "severe" disability diagnosis and proof that you're too disabled to afford or apply for "normal" housing. this is a gate to keep out poor people.
people in positions to help house homeless people don't care because they're housed. there's no sense of urgency. they don't have to think about what it's like to go without a roof over their head. they get paid tens of dollars an hour to sit there and scoff at all of the "lazy poor and disabled people who should just get jobs and stop whining and expecting to have things handed to them." they get paid to ignore emails and take 2 hour long lunches to forget about how hard and scary the world really is.
how the FUCK are you supposed to work when you don't have a place to sleep at night, shower, or eat? come the fuck on. use your goddamn brain. this system is built off of abuse, lying and torture. nobody earns an "honest" day's pay, none of this is "honest" work. it's all built off of the backs of lying and stealing from someone who needs it more. jobs aren't given to the person who's the most qualified- they're given to the person who lied the most to make themselves sound good during the interview. jobs are given to people who are good at interviews, NOT people who are GOOD at what they do.
i don't know how to tell you that when the average person isn't making enough to eat, fuel their car or pay for their phone, they also can't afford the roof over their head. disabled people and low-income people are struggling even worse with this. i don't know how to tell people that you should care about this.
we are literally all the same species. we are all humans. you cannot look down on disabled, poor and addicted people because we're "scum" and "less than human". we're not. that's a lie you're being fed by capitalism to feel better about yourself so you'll keep blindly working. wake up. this is not how humans behave. you're being brainwashed. everyone needs a stable home. EVERYONE. especially if you want them to contribute to your stupid money machine.
capitalism makes no fucking sense. give people homes or get the fuck out of our way, because we're about to just start taking them. this is unsustainable. this is unliveable. this system doesn't fucking work. a system that leaves its people to starve and die while apartments, homes, condos, and hotel rooms stay empty and collect dust doesn't work. none of this shit works. fuck this fascist system. none of us are free.
#homelessness#housing#human rights#punk#trans punx#trans punks#queer punks#cripplepunk#cripple punk#crip punk#cpunk#our writing#about us#anticapitalism#antiwork#anti capitalism#anti work
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nsfw knb part 1: (Akashi, Midorima, Murasakibara, Aomine)
Thank you for the request, the other half kuroko, kagami, kise (the kkk?!?) will be up in a few days. knb was my first sports anime that I fell in love with. Takao supremacy.
Akashi:Â
He is very dominant in bed and gets off on a sense of control. It does matter to him if you are feeling good though, and Akashi checks in regularly to make sure youâre still on board.Â
Both personalities like bondage. Seeing you all helpless and needy is a major turn on for him. Akashi usually keeps a tight lid on his alter ego, but it does slip out in the bedroom sometimes.Â
Heterochromic Akashi greedily claims you as his prize, methodically stripping you of your dignity.Â
Akashi secretly likes exhibition, but will never let anyone actually see either of you vulnerable. Â
He insisted on binding you for a generation of miracles reunion. The rope harness under your clothes dug into you, as you tried to look as normal as possible. Suddenly you were aware of everyoneâs gazes and praying they wouldnât hear the soft vibration coming from under your clothes. âBe a good girl.â he whispers, turning the vibrations a degree higher. Itâs likely no one suspects a thing, but it still feels like everyone can see right through you. Akashi carries on as usual, but the hungry looks he gives you feel like heâs lighting a beacon for everyone to see.
Midorima:
Midorima is repressed as all hell and tries to control himself and be proper, but as soon as he slides in you he canât stop himself from pounding into you relentlessly. Â
Is not one to curse in his day to day life, but has a dirty mouth and spews profanity in the bedroom.
He holds a strong conviction that you are meant to be his, and will never let you go.
Eye contact is a thing for him, he likes to stare at you and the expressions you make.
While daydreaming, the idea of pictures popped in his head, but he was too embarrassed to bring it up and he hasn't worked up the courage yet.
âYouâre tight,â he hisses, as he slides all the way in. His fingers are leaving indents in your thighs as he pulls you up instinctively, forgetting everything except the urge to go deeper, to be inside of you.Â
âFuck! S-stop clenching like thatâŠÂ feels too goodâÂ
Aomine:Â
motherfucker can't keep his hands to himself. I think that as he grows older and matures his love of big boobs dies down to just a love of all boobs. He still likes them big of course, but he learns to appreciate all sizes of boobs.Â
Will lay his head on your chest to nap, making you unable to do much besides scroll on your phone. Withholding sex is a great way to motivate him, but when he finally has you after being pent up heâs 10x more aggressive. Â
Oddly though Aomine is more on the vanilla side of things. He likes rough sex but has no notable kinks. It would be more accurate to say that the only real sexual need he has is a soft and squeezable body.
"Baby... please lemme fuck you I can't take it anymore my cock is about to bust out of my pants!" He's already got one hand down his pants, the other undoing his belt.
"For the last time, no! We both need to finish our work! We can have sex afterwards." Unfinished emails and documents sit in front of you, as you literally push your horny boyfriend off of you.
Murasakibara:
lazy mf doesnt want to do shit but heâs fucking enormous. His favorite pastime is eating you out over and over until youâre properly ready to take his cock. It's not a problem for him because he loves to eat you out if heâs in the mood.Â
The oral fixation is real.
He is easy to rile up and prone to childish jealousy, feeling the need to stake his claim on you at the slightest hint of competition. Of course nobody in their right mind would pick a fight with him, but he still perceives anyone you talk to as a threat. He doesn't want to share your attention with anyone.
If you want sex, you gotta get him in the mood. If he wants sex he's picking you up and hauling you to the nearest room with a lock on the door. You've been unceremoniously kidnapped several times already.
It's always a little scary when your boyfriend is in a foul mood. The inkling of fear turns both of you on though.
"I told you, he wasnât flirting with me! He wasnât even talking to me!"
"He was looking at you. I could tell he wanted to fuck you." His voice is lower than usual, eyes narrowing to a glare. He inches closer, tying up his hair as he goes.
"Atsushi, I can take care of myself." A nervous wobble creeps into your voice though, and he backs you into a wall. His frame fills your line of sight, as he looms over you.
"No. My job is to take care of you."
#x reader#knb#kuroko no basket#kuroko's basketball#knb x reader#knb smut#knb headcanons#akashi seijuro#akashi x reader#akashi seijirou#midorima shintarou#knb midorima#knb akashi#midorima x reader#knb aomine#aomine x reader#aomine daikki#murasakibara atsushi#knb murasakibara#murasakibara x reader
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PAC: WHAT WILL BRING YOU JOY
Something we all could use a little more of đ
To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at [email protected]
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Picture 1
You may have felt a sense of helplessness of late. As though certain events and circumstances have genuinely been out of your control. Might have gone through some betrayals that led to certain necessary endings or have been dealing with loss that may have impacted your mental health too. Certain things have been necessary and whether you're fully aware of it or not, you do feel lighter. You will feel much lighter in the coming months eventually. For most of you, I'm seeing dancing, performance arts as well as a retreat to somewhere open and green will bring you joy. You really really need to fill your lungs with fresh air. Some of you have been on the edge or rather anxious and sleepless too. You need to breathe. Being around or tending to animals will bring you joy too. Learning about health and wellness will also do you well. Some of you will find joy in painting with water colors or taking quiet walks late at night (stay safe please) some of you could also use a swim or take up swimming for yourself. You need to pause and appreciate the things you don't really pay attention to. Maybe even listen to your subconscious more and block the external noise out this could also mean decluttering your room and/or surroundings as well.
Picture 2
You may have felt out of place or felt as though you have lacked community or resources for yourself. You're very protective of yourself and your energy as well as whatever you've accumulated by yourself be it in matters of wealth or any other accolades. You have a creative fire within you that is supposed to burn bright enough to illuminate the way without burning you out. Writing, communicating, journaling, learning, nurturing yourself and others will bring you joy. Celebrate yourself and the smallest wins in your life. Your thoughts, ideas, words, your voice especially and your mere presence is immensely powerful and this mere gift that you possses will inevitably turn your life around when you least expect it. Explore the world ahead, you do posses the ability to manifest it. The only reason you think it's denied to you is because you're afraid of taking the leap of faith. But rest assured, when time comes, it will feel right and you wouldn't have to overthink it. Till then, work on channeling your emotions into something creative that feels meditative at the same time. You don't require external validation for this. Learn to regulate your nervous system and self soothe too. You may also end up being a part of or building a community of people who feel like family too.
Picture 3
You may have felt severely isolated and it's not a new emotion, it's been lingering on and off for quiet some time. You've gained necessary wisdom however and learned to feel safe and welcome in your own company. You've likely also felt extremely defensive and at wits end with the people you've encountered as well. You're craving change and will invite a major one soon enough. For you, self expression of any form be it experimenting with your aesthetic or even transforming yourself completely be it your physical body, the way you look or the way you see the world will bring you joy. Some of you are also born entertainers some of you might really be into makeup or cosplay too. Others of you simply need to blatantly romanticize your existence and life for your own sake, treat it as cinema and watch your plot unfold. You're meant to make an impact of some sort, use your influence well and wisely. You have massive will power and perseverance. But that doesn't mean you need to treat every day like an active battle field that you need to survive. Some of you need to know that, even if the past feels familiar you can't live there if you seek to expand your horizons. The world is waiting for you as much as you're waiting for the world. Erase the mental and emotional distance you have put between you and what you desire.
#free readings#tarot community#divination community#pick a card#pac#pick a picture#spiritual community#tarot#pick a pile
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unsolved (i)
Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or any shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)
Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky at his little shit supreme, Very Loud reader, images and memes that all have alt texts.
A/N: yes this is literally harmless in a different font. do not ask me if anything doesn't make sense. i cannot explain. i resurface every 3 years to present you with ideas born from menty b's. ANYWAY shout out to my beloved ryan and shane. pls enjoy <3
Bucky doesnât appeal to the youths.
Apparently.Â
On God, he cannot fathom why.
He had definitely left the house in the last six months, maybe. Smiled in at least two pictures that existed on the internet. He even knew what Discord was. Sort of. Â
By all accounts, he should be treated as the modern day icon that he was. Â
âThe youths?â he repeats, the word so foreign on his tongue it felt odd to even say it.
âYour numbers are the lowest of the whole team.â The latest tech-dude, with a tablet twelve models ahead of the one Bucky had in his room, tells him monotonously. âWilson, Romanoff and Barton score the highest. Everyone else lies around the middle. You are dead-last.â
Bucky has the audacity to look offended.Â
âAnything to say?â Their PR head, Maya, asks him, amused.Â
He stares, formulating the wittiest one liner he could in three seconds.
âI donâ care,â he mumbles.Â
Maya sighs. âLook, the team took the decision together. As far as Iâm aware, you are still a member. You need some PR if you guys want to stay in the publicâs good books.â
âNo oneâs gonna listen to me.â Bucky wasnât exactly the poster child for American values. He couldnât even vote until three years ago, and that came only after the full wrath of a Steve Rogers descended on the email inbox of the DMV.Â
âThatâs why itâs important to get them to like you,â Maya emphasizes. âOr the idea of you at least. A very sanitized, corporate friendly version.â
His eyebrow twitches unintentionally. Â
âAnd also you signed the contract.â
Well. Shit.Â
Truth be toldâ and he has openly and rather loudly stated this on numerous occasions even especially when no one askedâ he doesnât understand why they need a PR team. The world has calmed down significantly over the last few years. Bucky hadnât really been out crime-fighting as much as he was people-watching. There hasnât been an earth-shatteringly dystopian-level event in the longest time, and there seemed to be a group of spandex-clad teenagers who seemed to do a good job at taking care of them when they did threaten to occur. Go kids.
Even if they needed PR, he could arguably understand the appeal of Sam and Nat and why the people would want to see more of them. Bucky, on the other hand, looked like he crawled onto Earth most days of the week.Â
âWhat do I have to do?â he asks ultimately, knowing there was no way to get out of this. âInterviews?â
The intern shares a look with Maya. Bucky shares a look with the ceiling.Â
âThe team agreed to do a series of videos, each focusing on a different niche,â she begins, âCrash courses on science, pointing out mistakes in spy movies. Once a week.â
Bucky nods along. He can pinpoint Bruce and Nat for those.
Maya stares at him.
Bucky stares back.
âSo,â she says slowly, like heâs a moron, âyou wouldââ
âNo.âÂ
The intern sighs heavily like they discussed that this was going to happen. Bucky was getting predictable. This annoys him even further, for some reason.
âOnly once a week, and it doesnât have to be anything crazyââ
âIâm not doing videos,â he interjects. âIâll tweet a few times. Iâll even go outside. But âm not doinâ videos.â
A big step was to get the Avengers off Twitter after the regular shit-storm that occurs every time theyâd quote-tweet another politician calling them shitheads. Getting them back on seems counterproductive.Â
âFine,â Maya relents, looking at the intern. âWe'll work something out.â
Bucky leans back in his chair, and meditating on ways he can weasel his way out of those too.
So they stick him in a couple of interviews.
Bucky, as the recluse extraordinaire that he was, does unsurprisingly terrible at them.
Variety does a piece on him that was supposed to take up 2 pages. They send back half a page worth of usable material and Bucky gets a lecture on how monosyllables don't count as answers.
He grunts in return. Mayaâs itch to smack his shoulder with the rolled up draft increases.
They set him up for pap walks. Just him getting fast food for the team, or sitting in the park.
They donât take into account that Bucky was trained professionally for years on how to hide, sneak in and out of places without a soul knowing he was ever there.Â
The paparazzi spend three hours waiting for him outside the pizza place, while heâs been home for two hours with two demolished pepperonis and an order of mozzarella sticks.Â
They give him access to his Twitter.Â
He tweets some dumb shit and gets shadow banned by that evening.Â
Maya is sick and tired, and the interns have shifted three times since the whole ordeal started. Bucky honestly feels a little bad. Maybe he should try to be like Scott, who not only wrote a book, finger-gunned at photographers, did an interview a week, but also agreed to a podcast and a video series about literally anything they suggested.Â
âPlay nice,â Sam tells Bucky one evening.Â
Itâs an off-hand comment, not even really looking at him while he says it.Â
Bucky doesnât need to ask what heâs referring to, but he thinks that maybe he has gone too far.
He begrudgingly agrees.Â
Therefore, it begins.Â
They stick him in the background of a few videos. Just to interact, add his commentary on what was going on, suggestions.Â
Then the jokes really start.
âI just donât got anything to add,â Bucky tries, in a failure of an attempt to justify his lack of contribution.Â
Maya only stares at him, but Bucky swears he can hear her curse quietly, even though her lips donât move even a millimeter. Â
He is not put in another video.Â
And so he finds himself here.Â
In a meeting room that heâs convinced is barricaded from the outside so he canât slither out the door again. Another intern with pink-tinted glasses that took up half their face.
Mayaâs in the midst of explaining to him that sure, his numbers had gone up by a decimal, but that was because people had started editing him into the backgrounds of other pictures for other users to find in a perplexing take on Whereâs Waldo.
âVideos seem to be working,â she ties it together. âBut we need more than you just standing silently behind Captain Rogers.â
âBut itâs working,â Bucky objects. âI donât see why it has to change.â
Maya sends him a glare. Bucky decides then itâs good to shut up.Â
âAre you on the internet a significant amount?â the intern asks. The glasses on their face have changed colours to green. Buckyâs eyebrow furrows.Â
âNo.âÂ
For the next thirty minutes, he is subjected to a pop quiz about too many words ending with âcoreâ, âcodedâ and âerasâ. Heâs surprised that he knows what cottagecore is. He definitely doesnât fucking know what a tomatogirl, nor does he want to.Â
âWhat do you like doing?â the intern enunciates, pulling up a spreadsheet of niches that had built a dedicated community around themselves over the years. âMakeup? Cleaning? Parkour?â
Bucky wonders if theyâd really create a montage of him just micro cleaning the kitchen every week. It doesnât sound half bad.Â
Beyond that, the only thing he can think of is woodworking, which Sam introduced him to. While he spends time creating little figures, he wouldnât say it wasâÂ
âYou really are dead silent,â the intern breaks his train of thought, tone almost that of wonder. âGuess the whole âghost story for seventy yearsâ is more true than I thought.â
Bucky throws him a weary look, and works on unclenching the fist that tightened involuntarily.Â
âWas that necessary?â Mayaâs voice comes coldly. âTake fifteen. Go find the other one we were supposed to meet.â
While sheepish and somewhat apologetic, the kid still looks relieved to be out of there. To be honest, Bucky isnât really offendedâ heâs grown a thick skin over the years. But he also thought the guy was a little shit now.Â
Maya turns back to him, but Bucky finds that the table contains wonders far more interesting than the conversation at hand.
âBack to what we were talking about.â She ruffles through something on her laptop. âPuppets? History?â
He wordlessly shakes his head.Â
Been the former, seen too much of the latter.
Mayaâs head tilts abruptly. âYou like ghosts?â Â
He wonders if the prior conversation had anything to do with this insightful question.Â
Bucky shrugs. âDonât exist.â
âReally,â Maya deadpans. âAliens and multiversal baboons are fine, but no ghosts.â
âIâve seen aliens and multiversal baboons. Never seen a ghost in my life,â Bucky argues right back.
âOther people have seen ghosts.â
âGood for other people.â
The door swings open right as Mayaâs eyes narrow at him. Guess it wasnât padlocked.Â
âWhatever it is you think I did, Maya, I didnât. I think,â you announce in a volume too much for a closed room, stopping when you see Bucky sitting cross-armed and looking delightfully disgruntled. âOh hey, Barnes. Fancy seeing you here.â
Bucky had met you. The newest addition to the team that had made a grand entrance a couple of weeks ago. He thinks you stay on the floor below him, but he has nothing backing this hypothesis other than the disco funk music that had started appearing at odd hours of the night.Â
âPlease sit,â Maya cracks a smile at you that Bucky had yet to earn. âSorry, I know our meeting is scheduled for later, but I figured we could kill two birds with one stone.â
You look between her and Bucky, who hasnât moved an inch since you got here, much less even said hello.
âYou must be really bad if Maya had to call me in,â you tell him outright. âIâm usually like, her last option.â
âThanks,â Bucky replies dryly.Â
âLook, hereâs my final pitch.â Maya sighs, before turning to you. âYouâre new, and we need something to introduce you slowly to the public.â
âOh, am I finally getting hard launched?â You grin, and Bucky doesnât know what that means. âJust imagine me kicking my feet, giggling or whatever.âÂ
âAnd he needs⊠an upgrade.â Mayaâs thumb juts out towards Bucky who simply rolls his eyes.
âRight.â Your sight lands on him from across the table. âIâve seen the memes.â
âWhat memes?â he grunts, because while the team had definitely seen them, it didn't occur to anyone they should show it to him. He loves them. Really. So much. Die for them.Â
You only look too happy to pull out your phone and start typing.
âDo you know what skinwalkers are?âÂ
âNo.â
âThatâs what they say you look like, lurking in the back of all your friendsâ videos,â you continue, swerving around your phone to show him.
Bucky doesnât look impressed. He canât say he blames them either, which makes him inexplicably maddens him. Â
âAt least theyâre calling you their boyfriend,â you add, entirely unhelpfully. âThatâs gotta count.â
âRight.â Maya clears her throat. âThe both of youââÂ
âAre getting paired together, I suppose,â you hum.Â
Buckyâs eyebrows pull together.Â
He barely knows you. Just a little bit on how you ended up here, that you enjoyed hanging out with the team, figuring out your place in the compound, and were seemingly doing a great job at it.Â
You were⊠loud. And open.Â
Bucky feels the compulsive need to compensate for that by doubling down on how silent he could get, as if the two of you couldnât co-exist in the same space in equilibrium.Â
Maya pointedly raises a finger at you. âDo you believe in ghosts?â
âFor the right price, I will believe in whatever you tell me to.â
Her face lights up brighter than Bucky's ever seen.
âGreat.â Maya slams her laptop closed. âSee you later.â
Buckyâs left staring as she exits, not even throwing the both of you another look.
âThat was quick,â your voice cuts through the silence. âWhat was that all about?â
 âDonâ ask me,â he grumbles, with a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what was about to follow.Â
âGhost hunting?â Bucky echoes a week later, as expected.
âYes,â Maya tells him simply. âTwo of you. A series based on paranormal activity.â
âI donât even believe in them,â he reiterates.Â
âThatâs the point,â she emphasises. âSkeptic and believer. It makes for a good contrast.â
âWhy us both?â He hopes it doesnât come off as offensive. He just doesnât see why he canât do this with Sam. Even Clint, if a gun was really pressed to his head.Â
âIâm new, no one gives a shit about me,â you say brightly and full of promise. âYet.â
âExactly. Itâll be low key. Not an overwhelming number of viewers, no expectations. Itâs perfect for launching one Avenger and re-launching another.â
âSounds rad.â You grin, leaning back as your feet rest on the chair in front of you.
Maya looks relieved for a moment that at least one of you was on board. âNo promises on anything. We shoot one video, and if it does well, we stick with it.â
âWhat if I donât want to?â Bucky argues.Â
âThen you have until tomorrow morning to give us another feasible idea,â Maya dishes back.
Bucky retreats into his seat, arms crossed over his chest.Â
Truth be told, he considered himself to be the most boring person in the team and though he had made his peace with that, he was sure thar bringing that up now would entail Maya shooting him in the foot.
âFine,â he agrees and the sighs around the room are loud.Â
He scoffs. So fucking dramatic and for what.
âPut her there, partner.â You stretch ungracefully over the large table, sticking out your hand.
Bucky eyes your hand. âDo you even believe in ghosts?âÂ
âI do now, yeah.â You nod seriously. âLove âem. Canât get enough of them.â
âOne video,â Maya reminds him as a balm. âAnd if it doesnât work, youâre off the hook forever.â
Off the hook? Forever? For Bucky?
Yay.Â
âOne video,â he reiterates.
You roll your eyes before smiling when he leans forward to grab it. You yank it up and down clunkily. He blinks at you, letting go slowly.Â
âThank fuck,â Maya groans, head dropping onto the table.Â
Your smile is wild. âGuess weâre doing this shit together.â
He doesnât even have to look very deep in his soul. He already knows heâs going to suffer.
hereâs my ko-fi if youâd like to support my writing!
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also i'd absolutely love to make this a community led fic like how harmless was! if you have memes or any paranormal ideas or just any prompts in general, please please send them my way <3
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#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#mcu fic#bucky fic#bucky barnes fic#bucky fluff#bucky barnes fluff#bucky angst#bucky barnes angst#unsolved fic#winter soldier x reader#Winter Soldier#bucky barnes#bucky
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Got Your Back ~ Skz
â§âË âœ â
WORD COUNT: 2.4k
â§âË âœ â
PAIRING: Stray kids x readerÂ
â§âË âœ â
GENRE: Established relationships, friends, platonic, cute, fluffy, chan being comforting, boys trying to help out, non idol au,
â§âË âœ â
Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - October 2024
â§âË âœ â
MASTERLIST
You sit at the dining table, staring blankly at your laptop. The congratulatory messages about your MBA graduation had rolled in, but instead of the sense of accomplishment you expected, thereâs only confusion and uncertainty. The question that haunted you: What now?
No one had told you what you were supposed to do now, fully out of education and thrown into the world where you had no idea how anything even operated.
Across from you, Seungmin leans over, trying to peek at your screen. You'd been crashing at their apartment for the time being while you figured out your next move. All of them were happy to have you around, and they had the spare rooms so they hadn't minded you being there at all.
"Still searching for jobs?" he asks casually, his voice light but not helping much. You glanced away from the screen for a second and met his brown eyes that were already sinking into yours,
"Yeah... just trying to figure things out," you murmur, sighing. You've been at this for hours, scouring job boards, but nothing seems to fit. The weight of expectations, both from others and yourself presses down on you. You wanted to do something with the degree, but everything you'd applied for was shooting you down due to lack of 'experience' but how were you supposed to get experience if no one was willing to hire you in the first place?
Jisung slouches on the couch, his playful grin is evident as he waves his phone in your direction.''
"You could always just be a professional napper. I heard thereâs demand for that!" His attempt at lightening the mood only adds to your frustration. You knew he was just trying to make you laugh, they all were but somehow they only seemed to make you feel worse about everything.
You didn't want to spend the next few months freeloading off them and mooching your days away on their sofa,
"I wish it were that easy..." You try to smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. You stared back at the screen, looking through the emails of rejections you'd gotten for the last week and it was making you want to slam your head in the laptop and never look at it again.
Jeongin comes up behind you, giving your shoulder a little squeeze. He could sense that everything was starting to pile up on top of you, they'd been trying to get you to take a couple days to yourself but nothing was working yet.
"Hey, youâll figure it out. You're literally the smartest person I know!" His words, while kind, donât quite soothe the gnawing anxiety building up inside you. Felix plops next to you, laying his head on your arm with his deep voice chiming in,
"Youâve got so much time. Why not take a break for a bit and bake with me? Sometimes, stepping away helps...Besides you JUST graduated...you deserve some time off to relax," Though his offer sounds comforting, it doesnât seem like the solution you need right now. You can feel the boys' efforts to help, but somehow, it all falls short. The uncertainty continues to swirl in your mind, the questions you knew you'd face if you didn't go straight into a job.
"How about we all get food and come back with a fresh set of eyes later?" Chan suggested as he watched you from the doorway. If anyone could get you to do something it would be him and you bit down on your lip,
"it'll be here when you get back, food is essential in life." He told you, and you could tell by the stern look on his face that he wasn't going to drop this easily.
"Fine. One meal." You mumbled as the others practically raced to the door to go and get their stuff ready. Chan watched as you reluctantly shut the laptop screen and got up, making your way over to him.
"I'll help you in any way I can, you know that," Chan whispered as he wrapped his arms around your shoulder and led you toward the others.
"But-"
"Staring at a screen for 24 hours a day isn't going to change anything. You need relaxation, you need a fresh space." He said while cutting you off. He couldn't stand the thought of you sitting there for HOURS on end torturing yourself over not being able to get anything you were applying for. You needed some time away.
It was late, far too late for you to still be awake, but here you were, sitting at the kitchen table once again with a cup of coffee long gone cold. The screen in front of you is blurred from hours of scrolling through job listings. Each click led to more pressure, another wave of doubt. The meal you'd gone out for earlier felt like it had been days ago but it had only been six hours, while it had been nice to get out it did nothing to calm you.
You'd spent the whole dinner pretending to listen to the guys as they spoke but you were agonising in your own mind about what you were supposed to do next.
âStill at it?â Chanâs voice cut through the quiet hum of your laptop. You hadnât even noticed him walking in. You glance over your shoulder, feeling guilty that you'd been caught when you'd promised him you would leave it for the night. But Chan had known all too well you weren't just going to drop it.
"Yeah, I justâthereâs so much to do, and I feel like Iâm falling behind." You admitted and for the first time in a long time, it finally felt good to say it out loud. You hadn't wanted to tell the others but it was true. A part of you felt as though you were going to end up failing and never using the degree you'd worked hard for over the last few years.
Chan shakes his head gently, coming over to sit beside you on one of the chairs, his gaze lingers on the clock on the kitchen wall.
"Itâs 2 a.m. You should be resting." You could hear the playful scolding coming from him but you shook your head,
"I canât," you mutter, rubbing your temples. Everything felt as though it was too much right now, like there was a growing pressure pinning you down and if you didn't find something soon you were going to be crushed beneath it all.
"What if I donât find something soon? What if I wasted all this time for nothing?" The stress in your voice is evident, your anxiety bubbling to the surface. Chan reaches out, softly closing your laptop before you can protest, he slides it off the table and puts it on the chair beside him.
âYouâre going to burn yourself out if you keep pushing like this.â Something you'd told him countless times when he was working himself into the ground, but just because you gave him advice didn't mean you had to take it,
âI donât have time to relax, Chan. I need to figure this out,â you say, your voice a bit sharper than you intended, but he doesnât flinch, he just watches you with a weak smile on his lips.
"You do have time," he replies calmly. "You just graduated, and no one expects you to have everything sorted right away. Itâs okay to take a break." He tugs you gently, guiding you away from the table and forces you to walk into the living room where he dropped you on the sofa beside him.
"I just... I donât want to fail," you admit quietly, the vulnerability of your words surprising even yourself. You laid your head on his shoulder as he ran his hands up and down your arm softly.
"You wonât fail. But if you keep going like this, youâll wear yourself out. Then you really wonât be able to move forward." You sigh, feeling the tension in your body refusing to leave.
"I donât know how to stop thinking about it."
âThen let me help you stop.â His voice is soft, but thereâs a firmness in his tone. He reaches out, grabbing one of your hands and gently squeezing, he would do anything to help you shut off for a while.
"For tonight, just... be here. No more job searching, no more stressing. Just relax with me." You donât answer immediately, your mind still racing with the thoughts of what needs to be done, but his thumb gently strokes the back of your hand, grounding you in the present.
Chan shifts, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. The soft flicker of a random show fills the room, casting a warm glow around you both. He pulls you closer, and before you know it, your head is resting on his shoulder. His steady presence has an almost immediate calming effect, the weight of the world slowly lifting off your shoulders.
"Youâre not alone in this, okay?" Chan murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. "Iâll help you figure everything out. You have more time than you think." You sniffled a little as you listened to him, taking his words in and nodding your head.
Your shoulders slump as you sighed a little and finally admit everything you'd been holding back,
"I just... I feel stuck. I worked so hard for this degree, but now I donât even know what I want to do next." Chanâs gaze softens as he listens carefully. He lets you speak about your worries, your fears, and the pressure you're feeling.
âI get it,â he says after a pause. âItâs a tough transition. But you donât have to figure it all out in one go. Maybe you can start with small steps.â You blink, looking over at him, the TV long forgotten as you stare at him.
âSmall steps?â Chan nods.
âYeah. I know itâs overwhelming when you think about everything at once but maybe focus on just one thing that excites you. We can start there.â You nod at him about to talk when he shakes his head at you.
"But I order for the next couple of days you're to relax...take time...okay?" He squeezed you closer to him as you settled back into the comfort of his arms and the TV.
It had been a few weeks since your graduation, and though you tried to relax, the pressure to figure out your next step weighed heavily on you. Chan had been your rock during this time, always knowing when to pull you away from your laptop, forcing you to take breaks and reminding you that you didnât need to have everything figured out just yet.
But one night, after another long day of scrolling through endless job postings, you felt like you were back at square one. You sighed, leaning back against the couch, the glow of your screen casting shadows on your tired face.
Chan noticed. He always did. He came over, sitting beside you and peeking at your screen.
"Still nothing?" he asked softly, staring at the email you'd gotten that had once again rejected you.
"Nothing that feels right," you admitted, rubbing your eyes. You were starting to get a tension headache and all you wanted to do was cry.
"Itâs like Iâm going in circles. I donât even know what Iâm looking for anymore." Chan leaned back, his fingers drumming lightly on his knee as he thought for a moment.
"You know⊠Iâve been meaning to talk to you about something," he began, glancing over at you. "Iâve got a friendâwell, more like a connection in the industry. Theyâre looking for someone with your exact qualifications." You stared at him and blinked. Chan worked in the music industry and you'd never really thought about asking him for help until now.
"Really?"
"Yeah," he smiled. "Itâs not one of those big corporate jobs, but itâs a start. Youâd be working in a creative environment, helping manage some marketing campaigns and operations. I think youâd be great at it." The idea sparked something in youâinterest, hope.
"Do you think theyâd want to talk to me?" Chan chuckled, nodding.
"I might have already sent them your info. They were interested as soon as I mentioned your MBA." You gaped at him, caught between surprise and gratitude.
"Wait, you already told them about me? Chan, why didnât you say anything?"
"I wanted to wait until you were ready," he said, his voice gentle. "I know you've been feeling a lot of pressure, and I didnât want to overwhelm you. But I think this could be a really good opportunity for you." You felt a surge of emotionsârelief, excitement, and most of all, gratitude for how thoughtful and supportive he had been during this whole process. Tears were starting to build up inside of your eyes and you whined a litt;e.
"Are you serious? IâI donât even know what to say," you stammered, feeling a warmth spread through you. Chan grinned, nudging you lightly with his shoulder.
"Just say youâll think about it. Thereâs no rush. But I think it could be the right step for you, and Iâm always here to help if you need anything along the way." You couldnât help the smile that spread across your face, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. For the first time, something felt right.
"Iâll think about it," you promised, your voice soft but hopeful.
A few days later, you found yourself on a call with Chanâs contact. The conversation went wellâbetter than you had expectedâand when you hung up, you immediately messaged Chan.
I got the interview! They want me to start next week if everything goes well!
His reply came almost instantly: I knew youâd be perfect for it. Youâve got this!
Sitting there, staring at the screen, you realized how much Chan had helped youânot just by finding the opportunity but by being the constant support you needed through all the uncertainty.
Later that night, you sat beside Chan again, feeling more at peace than you had in weeks. The two of you were watching a TV show together that had become your way to relax during times of stress and now it was the routine you shared.
"You really saved me, you know that?" you said quietly. He shook his head, giving you that soft, reassuring smile.
"Nah, you did all the hard work. I just gave you a little nudge." He winks at you and you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder.
"Well, thank you. For everything." Chan wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close.
"Anytime. You know Iâve got your back."
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I love you - I doubt it
Pairing: Chan x gn!reader
Word Count: 1571
Summary: Chan gets a message that would've made him the happiest man on earth only a while ago. Now, he doesn't know what to believe anymore.
Warnings/Tags: angst, chan centered
A/N: This is for you, pretty @zehina, my fellow angst loverđ€ Hope you like itđ€đ€
do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©ïžwritingforstraykids 2024 -
Chan sat on his bed, staring at the glowing screen of his phone. His room was dimly lit, the soft hum of the air conditioner the only sound filling the silence. He had just finished scrolling through the usual notifications, his mind dulled by the routine of checking emails, missed calls, and scattered messages. But then, amidst the noise of daily communication, one message stood out, its simplicity pulling him out of the monotony of his scrolling.
I love you.
It was from you. He blinked, momentarily frozen. The words, clear and concise, hung there in the quiet air, reverberating in his mind. There was a time when those words would have lit up his world. He could still remember the first time youâd said themâhow his heart had leaped, how his breath had caught in his throat. The flood of warmth, the feeling of being seen, of being valued. But now, as he stared at those three words on the screen, something had shifted.
He didnât feel the familiar rush of emotion. Instead, his first thought was cold, dispassionate, and bitterly practical.
I doubt it.
He immediately regretted thinking it, but it was the truth. He couldnât escape the gnawing doubt that had been creeping into his mind for months now. It wasnât that he didnât want to believe you still loved him. It wasnât that he wanted to give up on the idea of you and him. It was just that, over time, something had changed. And he wasnât sure if either of you had noticed it, or maybe you were just better at pretending it hadnât.
He sat back against the headboard, his fingers grazing the side of the phone absentmindedly. The message stayed on the screen, taunting him with its simplicity. I love you. Those words should be enough, shouldnât they? They should fix whatever invisible distance had begun to stretch between you. They should have the power to pull him back into that feeling, that intoxicating sense of connection. But they didnât.
Instead, they felt like a promise he wasnât sure you could keep anymore. Or maybe it was a promise neither of you had the energy to uphold.
It wasnât like this before. There was a time when you two were inseparable, emotionally intertwined in a way that had felt so natural, so effortless. You had shared everything, from the smallest, most insignificant details of your day to the deep, raw vulnerabilities that you hid from everyone else. He had loved you for that â how you trusted him, how you opened yourself to him completely. And he had given you the same in return, never hesitating to share his fears, his dreams, his uncertainties.
But life has a way of complicating things. Chan found himself thinking back over the last year, the slow, almost imperceptible drift that had started to happen. It wasnât a single moment, not a dramatic argument or a hurtful betrayal. It was more like the erosion of a coastline, gradual and unnoticed until one day you look up, and the shore is so far from where it once was. Thatâs how it felt between you two now. The connection that had once felt so solid, so unshakeable, now felt fragile, like it could break with a single careless touch.
It was little things at first. The missed calls, the forgotten details, the way you had started to prioritize other aspects of your life over time spent together. He had noticed it but hadnât wanted to make a big deal out of it. Everyone grows and changes, right? People have different needs at different times in their lives. He had convinced himself that it was just a phase, that soon things would go back to the way they were.
But they hadnât.
The silences between you had grown longer. The once easy, flowing conversations had started to falter, punctuated by awkward pauses where neither of you seemed to know what to say. You both tried to fill the gaps with reassurances, gestures of affection, but they felt forced, like you were trying to recapture something that had already slipped away.
And now, here was this message. I love you. The words felt like they came from a different time, a different version of you. The version of you that still shared everything with him, that still looked at him with that unguarded expression of trust. But that version had faded, hadnât it? Replaced by someone more distant, more distracted. And maybe, just maybe, he had changed too. Maybe he wasnât as attentive as he used to be, wasnât as present.
Chan sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. He wished he could just respond the way he once would haveâI love you too. It had been automatic, instinctive before. But now, it felt like a lie. Not because he didnât care about you, not because he didnât want to love you. But because there was something hollow about those words now, something that didnât ring true.
He wondered if you felt it too. Did you send that message out of habit? Was it a routine? Or did you still mean it, deeply, truly, the way you had when you first said it? He couldnât be sure. And thatâs what scared him. The doubt, the uncertainty. How had it come to this? How did something that once felt so right now feel so wrong?
It wasnât that he didnât believe in love anymore. He did. But he wasnât sure if what you two had was still love, at least not in the way it had once been. Maybe it had transformed into something elseâsomething more complicated, less romantic. Something more like mutual obligation, or familiarity, or a kind of quiet companionship. But love? That passionate, all-consuming feeling that had once defined your relationship? He wasnât sure if that was still there.
He put the phone down on the bed beside him, leaving the message unanswered for now. He needed time to think, to sort through his feelings. He wasnât ready to respond until he could figure out what he truly felt and what he wanted. Maybe you two were just going through a rough patch. Maybe this was something you could work through if you both put in the effort. But then again, maybe this was the beginning of the end.
The thought made his chest tighten with a strange mix of fear and resignation. The idea of losing you was painful, but there was also a part of him that wondered if letting go would be a relief. The constant questioning, the persistent doubt, the weight of a love that no longer felt easyâit was exhausting. Could you two really go on like this? Or was it time to face the truth that something fundamental had changed between you, something that might never be the same again?
Chan leaned his head back against the headboard, closing his eyes. He replayed your relationship in his mind, the early days when everything was new and exciting, the middle years when you had settled into a comfortable rhythm, and now, this period of uncertainty. He realized that love wasnât just a feeling. It was work. It was commitment. It was choosing each other, every day, even when things got hard. Lately, he wasnât sure if either of you were still choosing each other the way you once did.
He didnât want to admit it, but part of him was angry. Angry that you had let things slip, that you hadnât fought harder to keep the connection alive. But then again, he knew it wasnât fair to blame you entirely. He was just as responsible for the distance that had grown between you. Maybe he hadnât been paying attention. Maybe he had let himself get too caught up in his own world, in his own doubts.
Still, the message lingered. I love you. It was such a simple phrase, but it carried so much weight. He wanted to believe it. He wanted to trust that it was still true. But the doubt remained, like a shadow he couldnât shake.
âI doubt it,â he whispered to himself again, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He hated feeling this way. He hated that he couldnât just accept your love at face value anymore, that he had to question it, analyze it, pick it apart. He missed the days when love felt simple, when it was just you and him against the world.
But those days were gone, werenât they? Now, it felt like it was just him, sitting alone in his room, staring at a message that should have meant everything, but instead, left him feeling empty.
Chan wasnât sure what the future held for you two. Maybe you could work through this, find a way back to each other. Or maybe this was the beginning of a slow, inevitable drift apart. Either way, he knew one thing for sureâsomething had changed. And once change happens, thereâs no going back to the way things were. Not really.
For now, all he could do was sit with the uncertainty, with the doubt. And as he lay back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, he couldnât help but wonder if love, a relationship, friendship, was supposed to feel this complicated, this fragile. Or if maybe, just maybe, it was time to let go.
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A New Term
Professor!Mark Webber x Fem!Reader
Warnings:Â age gap (mark is in his 40s, reader is early 20s), taboo content!! - professor x college student, worried mark, sharing a cookie, suggestive behaviour from mark, oral (f!receiving), penetrative sex (p in v), bruising but in a sexual context, cum play, finger sucking.
Word Count:Â 2,379
Author's Note:Â mark always had professor vibes to me, he's so dilf.
merry smutmas series
--
You send your professor an email over the winter break and the man wonders why youâre still working, urging you to come out and relax like everyone else.
The end of semester assignment kept you up way past your bedtime, the one question kept you on your toes. Your hand passed through your hair while you searched through your email for your professor's email.
Instead of using your winter break to unwind like most of your classmates, you were cracking out assignment after assignment, trying to get as much done as possible - that way you can focus on the exams when you return from the winter break.
The tab open to send your physics professor an email.
Dear Professor Webber,
I hope you're having a nice winter break and I hope I'm not disturbing you.
I had a question regarding the final assignment you gave out prior to the break; the last part of the assignment doesn't line up with the rest.
I'm not sure if I'm misunderstanding something along the way but it doesn't seem to make any sense. Hopefully you can provide me with some clarification?
Hoping to hear from you soon and again, I do apologize if this was a disturbance to your break.
Thank you,
Y/n L/n.
You shut the tab, sitting there for a bit as you tried to go back over your notes and make sense of the assignment, hoping you could figure it out in case Professor Webber doesn't answer anytime soon.
There's a ping sound coming from your laptop, the screen lighting up as you get a response from your professor.
Dear Y/n,
You're never a bother, you know my email is always open to my students, especially one as sweet and smart as you.
I hope you're getting some rest during this break and not overworking yourself.
As for your question about the assignment, I've looked it over and I see that there are some errors, I will have to email the other students and let them know. Thank you for pointing it out but if you'd still like to go over the assignment, how about we meet up sometimes? Perhaps tomorrow around 4 if you're free? I'll be in town.
Let me know, please do get some rest at some point.
All the best,
Professor Mark Webber,
Department of Physics.
You feel your cheeks heat up at the praise, something that happens often in the presence of your favourite physics professor. You send him back a quick response.
Hi professor,
Thank you for the quick response, I promise I am getting some rest. I would like to finish up what I can over the break so I can focus on exams come January.
Tomorrow at 4 would be great, how about we meet at the coffee shop around the corner from campus?
Thanks,
Y/n.
---
Four o'clock had come and passed, you had been there since 3:30, working away on your assignment. You occupied a booth in the back, your laptop in front of you, backpack tossed next to you and your notes and textbooks scattered all over the table.
Your head was buried in your textbook, searching for a certain passage to quote in your essay. Mark had entered the coffee shop and spotted you in the back corner.
His hand reached over, gently prying the textbook out of your hand. The action startled you for a moment but you relaxed when you saw who was across from you.
"Hi professor," you smiled, closing the tab on your laptop. Mark smiles at you, "please, we're not in class, y/n. You can call me Mark."
You nod, "okay Mark." Your nose scrunched, making a face. "Yeah no, that seems weird," you giggled, watching as he shut your textbook and left it on the table.
Mark says, "have you slept?"
"What?" You asked him, confused.
"You look tired, I hope you're not overworking yourself."
"Oh no," you shook your head, "I'm fine."
Mark nods, "fine, if you say so. Let me buy you a coffee - or rather not, you seem to have already had your coffee fill for the day." He glances at the two empty mugs on the table.
There's a small smile on your face, "yeah perhaps coffee wouldn't be the smartest idea."
"Something else then?" He suggested and you hum, "maybe a chocolate chip cookie? oh and maybe apple juice?"
Mark chuckles, nodding as he slides out of his seat. You watch as he walks the counter, ordering what you wanted and a coffee for himself before returning to the table.
You thank him, eating your cookie quietly as you searched for the pages you had written out with your assignment on it. You catch Mark staring at you, you figured it was just cause you looked frazzled or perhaps you had chocolate on your face.
You hadn't realized that the man was simply looking at you in adoration, you never thought that he'd see you in that way.
"What??" You asked, looking at him. You passed a hand over your lips, "is there something on my face?"
He shook his head, " no, you're perfect.. as always."
You smiled, cheeks flushed red. "Would you like a piece?" You held your cookie out to the man, assuming that he'd break a piece of it off but he leans over, taking a bite of the cookie.
Setting the cookie down, you take a sip of your juice and finally find the pages you were looking for. Mark listens as you explain your concerns to him, the man helping you sort through your issues with the assignment. Mark goes as far as to help you edit what you have so far.
"Is that all?" He asks, watching as you pack your things into your bag. "Yeah, that was it. Thank you so much for your help, professor."
"No trouble at all, sweetheart." He smiles, the two of you stand and head towards the exit. It wasn't until you got there that you realized the rain had come down.
You didn't live far from the coffee shop, about a 10 minute walk but you did happen to forget your umbrella at home that day.
"Are you walking?" Mark asks and you nod, "it's not that far."
"Please, it's pouring, y/n. Let me drive you home."
"I've imposed on your afternoon for long enough, you don't have to do that."
Mark shakes his head, "I cannot, in good conscience, leave you to walk in the rain. Let me drive you home, I'm offering so you're not imposing."
You give in, his hand on the small of your back as he leads you to his car. It's black inside and out, the leather matching the colour of the paint and the smell was beyond manly - exactly like your professor.
With your directions, he drives you back to your place. The rain pouring down on the car, the heavy rain drops make a sound as it hits the glass. "Thank you for the ride," you tell him, glancing over at him.
"Wait a moment, won't you? I'm sure the rain will settle in the moment. I don't want you to get your beg wet and ruin all your work," he says, the words coming out innocently enough.
You nod, watching as the rain drips down the windows. You feel something warm on your thigh, glancing down you see Mark's hand resting there. It takes you a moment to gather your thoughts, not noticing his hand slipping a bit higher.
"You know, you really should get some rest, sweetheart. Try and relax. You deserve it after all your hard work."
You nod, "I'll try."
He smiles, leaning into you as you look over at him. "Good girl."
The words hit you exactly where he expected them too, watching you shift in your seat. "Is something wrong, sweetheart?"
"N-no, sir."
He hums, a smirk playing on his lips as he moves closer; you can smell his cologne, the mint of his toothpaste, the coffee from not too long ago. Mark closes the gap between the two of you, his lips meeting yours.
As much as you enjoyed the feeling, you froze - your brain screaming no, big red letters flashing in your head but you ignored them.
Mark senses your hesitancy, pulling away from you. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's.." You pause for a moment, "it's fine. Do you want to come in?" You asked him, hoping he says yes otherwise you'd probably have to bury your head in shame.
Mark nods, the man following you up the stairs and into your apartment. "Sorry for the mess," you tell him as you unlock the door, stepping in to take your shoes off.
He looks around, confused as to where the mess would be. The place was spic and span, not a single thing out of place. Your apartment is decorated like one of those Hallmark movies, Christmas tree in the corner by the window, garland wrapped around whatever it could be, even the throw pillows on your couch were festive.
"Where's the mess, sweetheart?"
You nod towards the one singular mug that was on the coffee table, "I forgot it there last night."
Mark can't help but laugh. "That's a single cup, y/n. Most uni students live in shitty apartments with beer bottles and weed. This place is a palace compared to everywhere else."
You smile, walking further into your apartment. "Would you like something to drink?"
Mark senses your nervousness, resting his hands on your arms. "Relax, y/n. It's fine."
You visibly let out a breath, holding onto the man as he walks you to the couch. He sits you down, his hand now cupping your jaw when he leans down to kiss you.
"Will you let me help you relax?" He whispers against your lips and you nod, not having to think about it for once.
The clothes are tossed all over the living room, youâre leaning on the arm rest of the couch in your panties when Mark kisses you again.
The man drops down to his knees in front of you, your legs over his shoulder and he kisses down your calf, to your thigh before he gets to your pussy. You lift your hips, letting him take your panties off, tossing it along with the other clothes.Â
His nose brushes against your clit, his tongue licking a stripe up your cunt. Your hips buck when you feel his tongue against your clit, your hand gripping on his hair.Â
Markâs hand on your hip rocks you back and forth slightly, just enough that he can hear his name fall from your lips. âMark- fuck, there.â You pull on his hair, getting him to do what he did again.Â
The sound of his name rolling off your tongue was enough to make his cock twitch.
He mimicked his actions again until he could feel your legs shake, your grip on his hair tighter than before, his name strung along with the explicits leaving your mouth.Â
Mark glances up, your eyes shut and your head tossed back and he can't help but smile; heâs broken you down to nothing but a whimpering mess but he wasnât done with you just yet.Â
Your cheeks are red when you see him sit up, the lower half of his face glistening. You also canât help yourself when you pull him down for a kiss, tasting yourself on him.Â
You two shuffle around a bit, still on the couch when Mark flips you over; face down, ass up as he settles before you. Your back arches, the curve of your spine evident when he comes up behind you, pushing back against him as you feel the tip of his cock against your pussy.Â
Markâs hand grips your hips, pulling you back against him. Your moans are muffled by the couch when you feel him stretch you out.Â
âGod, please Mark, like that,â the words tumble out, begging him for more as he fucks you. His hands squeezing your hips, nails digging into your flesh. You can feel the pressure from his fingers, surely there were going to be bruises tomorrow. Your hand reaching under you, fingers barely reaching to rub your clit.
He pulls you up, his arm wrapped around your middle, your back pressed to his chest. His fingers dig into your side for a moment, squeezing you a bit. âSuch a good girl for me, you take it so well.â He whispers to you, kissing under your ear.Â
âMhm hm,â you breathe, leaning back against him, your legs felt like jello under you.Â
Between the angle you were at and his hand sliding down to rub on your clit, your head drops back onto his shoulder, begging him to let you cum.
âMark, god- fuck, let me cum please,â you ramble out and Mark hums, kissing along your jaw, âmhm I'm not stopping you, sweetheart.â
He lets you drop back onto your arms, back arched for him once again. He feels you cum around him, the wetness covering his cock. Itâs not long after, followed by a few sloppy thrusts, that Mark cums too.Â
The tip of his cock brushing between your folds, spreading his cum all over your pussy.
He pulls away, smiling at the whimper he gets from you. His fingers replacing his cock, covered in his cum when you roll over, he sticks his fingers in your mouth and he doesnât have to tell you what to do.
âGood girl,â he hums, watching as your tongue laps over his fingers. Mark pulls his fingers away, leaning down to kiss you. A mess of the two of you, not sure where one of you starts and the other ends.Â
You lay there for a while, Mark on top of you, your leg tossed on his hip as his head rests on your sternum, one of his hands on your tit.Â
"Next time you need some relaxing, you call me, okay?" He whispers, his finger dragging down your side.
You glance at the man, a raised eyebrow. "You just want to fuck me again, you dirty old man."
Mark laughs, "no, I mean yes but also no. I meant I'd take you to dinner or something, distract you from your work - but if you want to fuck, who am I to deny a beautiful woman like yourself?"
---
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#merry smutmas xoxo#mark webber#mark webber smut#mark webber x reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 smut
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Steve/Tony dating sim announcement & writer casting call!
The best part about a multiverse is all the different Steves and Tonys we getâand imagining them meeting. And kissing. And flirting. And maybe doing something a little spicier.
But why stick with imagining that when we can make it a reality? When we can make a Steve/Tony multiverse dating game?Â
Thatâs right, weâre making a game and it'll be free to play! What exactly does that entail? The Steve/Tony dating sim (name TBD. Weâre all ears for any ideas you have) will be a visual novel-style game thatâs mostly dialogue with some simple minigames thrown in. You get to play as a Steve or Tony from one of the many universes that exist whoâs thrown into a rift in reality with a bunch of other Steves and Tonys. Youâll get to decide whom to work with to invent, fight, flirt, and date your way back home.Â
Weâll be sharing updates on the game development and launch on this Tumblr so make sure to follow us!
Who we are
The Steve/Tony dating sim team is made up of passionate Steve/Tony fans who have come together to write and illustrate the dating game of our dreams, coded by the wonderfully talented @v-thinks-on. You can read more about us here.
How this works
In order to make the game, we need writers for the player and love interest characters, artists for the visuals, and more. At this point, weâre looking specifically for love interest writers, but make sure to follow us as weâll be looking for volunteers for other roles in the coming months!
Love interest writers can either work on their own or with a partner(s) to plot out and write a simple narrative arc and series of dates for a potential love interest character (a character that the player can choose to interact with and date). They construct the foundational beats for the story and dialogue for the love interest character, and they provide choices for player responses (you can indicate that the player can respond angrily, morosely, or happily to a certain line, but youâre not writing the player dialogue yourself). Later, player writers will insert responses to the existing love interestâs dialogue you wrote. Itâs kind of like roleplay!Â
For example, your script may look something like this:
Tony616 âSo, youâre a Steve, huhâ If <angry response>: Tony616 âSorry I askedâ If <happy response>: Tony616 âYouâre a cheerful one, eh?â [the player gets closer to Tony616]
To get a more detailed understanding of how this works, see this guide here. Weâre also happy to answer any questions, and we have a Discord server where we brainstorm and talk as a group.
Existing love interest storylines (more to come later!)
The following characters have arcs that are outlined already, and their writers are looking for a partner to collaborate with. Here are short pitches to give you a sense of each characterâs emotional journey through the game.
616 TonyÂ
Iron Man V.1 128 Tony is newly sober for the first time and still hiding that heâs Iron Man. The player can either help Tony open up or drive him to drinking again.Â
1872 Tony
Pre-canon Tony has lost faith in humanity and himself. Will the player convince him to get back on his feet? Or will he think everyone's better off with him at the bottom of a bottle?
616 SteveÂ
Avengers V4 Steve has just returned from the dead after his fight with his Tony about the Superhero Registration Act. He wants to trust Player, but can he?
MCU Steve
Post-2012 Avengers Steve is lost and doesn't know his place in the new century. Through his interactions with the player, he finds his home and purpose.
Donât see a character you want to write for on this list?Â
You can volunteer to write any Steve or Tony you want! In fact, we actively want more Steves and Tonys. This is a multiverse dating sim, after all, so the more the merrier. Just contact us with the canon character youâre interested in writing for and whether youâd like to work solo or with a partner(s).
How to apply
Please email [email protected] with the following information:
Confirmation that youâre over 18 (just let us know youâre 18+; weâre not asking you to share personal info)
The best way(s) to contact you
What character youâd like to write for (universe and name). If you have multiple, please order by preference
Do you want to write alone or with a partner(s)?
A writing sample focusing on Steve and Tony (link or attachment), ideally with a good amount of dialogue. This doesnât have to be a complete piece with a beginning, middle, and end; it's more to get a sense of your style and understanding of characterization, so all we ask is that itâs easy to follow. This can be something youâve already written or you can write something new for this application. We don't have a minimum word requirement; if we need more from you, we'll let you know.
Contact us
Please donât hesitate to contact us if you have any questions. You can reach us by email, Tumblr Messenger, askbox, Twitter DM, or Bluesky DM. Thank you!
#stevetony#steve/tony#stony#superhusbands#steve rogers#tony stark#fandom games#dating sim#stevetonydatingsim
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