#your average tribulations | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pombeom · 3 months ago

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Hello pombeom hope ur having a good day/night !!! Idk if ur requests are open i forgot to check BUT if its alr... may i request a domtutor!taehyun x bratsub!reader ? 🙊

Having an intense terry brainrot its so crazy RGHHH so scenario is, reader is really behind her like classes and almost failing everything and the teacher said she needs to catch up and take a tutor blh blah blah.. so, the teacher assigned tyun to be his tutor. Then, Everytime they have a study session, reader wont take it srs so tyun snapped out of it and just fucked the shit out of her 🫨

Feel free to ignore this if u get uncomfortable with this request !! Sorry if its not the best description, but the rest is up to you !! 🤧

Also, do you have a taglist? If yes, i would love to be tagged in every txt fics, thoughts OR ANYTHING ABT TXT😶‍🌫️

tutoring trouble | taehyun fic (nsfw)

nsfw, mdni!

pairings: meandomtutor!taehyun x brattysub!reader

warnings: spanking, namecalling (slut, brat), dirty talk, blowjob, doggy, manhandling, creampie, unprotected sex, hair pulling, choking, mean mean taehyun, nippleplay, marking, hickeys, zero aftercare, dacryphilia (reader cries), lmk if i forgot anything

a/n: thank you so much for being my first request!! this was so much fun to write and i hope this cures your brain rot 😭 don’t have a taglist atm but when i do (hopefully soon 🤞(just need to figure out how it works)) i’ll definitely add you :)

requests open

“Can I have a word please?”

At the end of the seminar, your professor calls upon you as you and your friends begin to leave.

“I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

“Right. I just wanted to talk to you about your recent grades. For someone who used to perform well in every assignment, your performance has been slipping to well below average. Even on a test where everyone managed to score above 60% you were the only one with a mark of 48% which tells me that you might need some additional support. A senior student has volunteered to help you out so from now on you shall receive tutoring session from him every week. His name is Kang Taehyun and he’s a very capable student who I believe can give you all the support you need,” your professor waffled on as you simply stare into her face absorbing all the information she’s blurting at you.

“Is that all?”

“Yes that’s all. I’ve scheduled your first meeting for tomorrow afternoon. I checked both your timetables to make sure you were both available. You’ll be meeting in the library at 1pm. And remember, if I hear that you haven’t showed up, then I’ll have to deal out more severe consequences.”

With even more information being darted in your direction, your mind wanders to the plans you made with your friends for lunch tomorrow. Guess that’ll have to be cancelled then.

You let out a sigh of frustration as you thank your professor and walk out the room with a grimacing look. How dare she ruin your plans like that. Just imagining the thought of a tutor sounded like hell. This Kang Taehyun also seemed like a right old nerd. It’ll be surprising if he lasts more than a day with you.

You were wrong. He lasted more than a day. In fact he lasted nearly 3 weeks of your bratty attitude which just refused to listen to anything he says, interrupting him mid-sentence to ask irritating questions or dozing off as he’s explaining a key concept. Even through the trials and tribulations, he still put up with you but you could tell that he each week he was getting closer to breaking point. He just needed one last push.

Instead of the library, you asked if you could meet up at your house instead, using the fact that you were recovering from being sick last week as an excuse. Phase 1, complete.

Taehyun arrives promptly at 1pm, tapping a rhythmic knock on your door. As if you were waiting for him, you opened the door within seconds revealing to you his casual outfit of a baggy t-shirt that he paired with dark wash straight leg jeans and a silver chain that hung comfortably around his neck. You may not have liked him much, but you appreciated his sense of style. Laid back but put together.

Inviting him in, you direct him towards your room, telling him that that was where you worked best. You bought over an extra chair and placed it beside your own desk chair and you both pulled out your work materials.

Without further ado, Taehyun begins the session, paying no attention to the change of setting that you hoped would throw him off. You were ready to move into phase 2 of your plan.

Taehyun, being seated at your right proved to be advantageous as it allowed you the opportunity to make physical contact as you both move your hands at the same time, “accidentally” bumping your hand into his.

You were also wearing your oversized pyjama shirt with a pair of black shorts underneath, your shirt unbuttoned quite low. Without drawing too much attention to yourself, you slowly push one side of the shirt down your shoulder, hinting at your black lace bra. You try and meet his gaze but his eyes were avoidant, only paying attention to his notes and whether or not you were writing them down too, which of course you weren’t.

“Can you please focus. We’ve got a lot to cover,” his eyes finally look up to meet yours giving you a stern glare.

“I am focusing, aren’t I?” Your puppy eyes never worked on him but you were hoping that them playing with your bra strap might distract him.

“Stop fiddling with your bra strap and pay attention,” his voice was commanding in a way that even you felt threatened into obedience. You also weren’t expecting him to be so direct.

You pick up you pen and start copying down the notes as he explains them suddenly getting another idea.

“Taehyun, I’m thirsty. I’m gonna get some water, do you want some too?”

“Yeah, sure, get me a glass.”

You filled up two glasses of water in the kitchen, holding one in each hand and as you walk past him, you accidentally spill water on his shirt, leaving him soaking wet.

“Fuck! What the hell?!” he yells, standing up in shock.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! It was an accident. Let me get you a towel.”

You giggled as you walk away towards the storage cabinet grabbing a new towel. But when you return, you see a sight you weren’t prepared for.

Taehyun had removed his shirt leaving him flashing his hard abs and built muscles. Instead of turning around or covering your eyes, you stand there gawking at his physique. So this is what he’d been hiding under his baggy T-shirt the entire time. You move closer to him, handing him the towel to dry off.

He wipes his body dry and passes you the towel back glaring into your eyes.

“This is what you wanted to happen right? When you invited me to your house, I knew something was up. Fucking brat can’t just sit quiet and focus on her lesson.” He inches closer to your body, pushing you against the desk as he corners you. His face was now mere millimetres away, leaving you gasping.

“Go on. Tell me what you want,” he instructs, his voice a little raspy, “What? Now you suddenly can’t speak? Guess I’ll just have to punish you then.”

His hands grab onto your waist pushing you up to sit on your desk, moving away any pens and paper in the way. His fingers tuck your hair behind your ear as he continues to move them along your cheeks and jawline leaving lingering touches on your skin, sparking like jolts of electricity. As his hands reach your neck, his fingers wrap themselves around it, his grip slowly tightening.

Your lips part as you pant for air when his other hand swipes a touch across your bottom lip before he inserts his thumb into your mouth, pushing it in and out. He removes his finger from your mouth letting out a pop sound.

Before long, his hands move down your shirt, undoing any remaining buttons, stripping you of your shorts as you’re left almost naked, feeling bare in front of his gaze.

He’s skilful in removing your bra, cupping both breasts as he squeezes them into his face, breathing in your scent.

“Such perfect tits. You were desperate to show them to me, weren’t you?”

“Taehyun, suck on them. Please,” your voice trembled as you begged him.

“Such a desperate slut aren’t you. Unlucky for you, brats don’t get what they want.”

He’s strips you of your underwear and his own, leaving you both naked when suddenly he picks you up, flinging you over his shoulder, spanking your ass as he moves towards your bed.

“Such,” spank,” A,” spank,” Brat,” spank.

He drops you onto the mattress, and climbs over you. He moves up to your neck, sucking your sensitive skin rabidly, reddish purple marks appearing instantly. He moves along you collarbone sucking harshly while pinching your nipples, earning him a sharp moan.

“Get on your knees.” He pulls you up by your hair and pushes you onto the floor as you become on eye level with his veiny cock. Your reactions to his hardness were instinctive: hands wrapping around the base of his shaft as your tongue swirls around the pink tip.

“You don’t get to tease me ok, brat? Now suck my dick.”

You feel your hair being pulled into a makeshift ponytail as he rams your throat up and down his cock, almost gagging you.

You feel him twitch on your mouth and before he could cum he pulls out, taking away his own orgasm.

Pulling you back up onto the bed, he places you on all fours as he grabs your waist firmly as his cock teases your entrance. Sliding in between the lips of your pussy, your wetness leaks out onto his dick, lubing it even more than your saliva.

“Taehyun please just fuck me!” you whine, almost crying at the pain of his teasing. You needed him in you.

Without warning he slams his cock into your core, hitting your cervix in one go. He continues to pound into you as he pushes your face into a pillow, muffling your moans as your tears leak onto the cotton. His dick is ruts against your gummy walls as he grunts with each swift push. You clench around his cock, feeling the veins as your wetness oozes out, dripping down your leg.

“God your pussy is so good. Look at you, taking my cock so well, aren’t you? Only brats get fucked like this. Brats who don’t listen or pay attention. Brats who are so desperate. Brats who like to tease their tutor.”

He’s now slamming into you at an unimaginable rate, your cries being heard even through the fabric of your pillow. The familiar sensation builds in your stomach.

“Taehyun I’m gonna cum!”

“Hold it. Only cum when I tell you to.”

He’s ruthless with his speed, punishing your pussy over and over. His actions took over your entire body as your vision goes blurry even with your eyes closed and your legs shaking despite his support in holding you up.

“You can cum now.”

You didn’t wait a second longer before your orgasmic wave comes crashing down sending ripples across your entire body when you collapse completely. At the same time, Taehyun cums inside your throbbing pussy, which remains pulsing even after he’s removed himself, pushing out the mixture of both your cum down your already wet leg.

You’re left gasping for air once again, trying to catch tour breath after the intense sex. Taehyun leaves you alone on your bed to go put on his boxers and jeans, sweat dripping down his sculpted abs.

“Oi, where’s my tshirt?”

“It’s there.” You point vaguely behind you as you were unable to lift your head or body to help him out.

He eventually finds it on the the radiator and at this point it had finished drying so he slips it back on and begins packing up his notes and stationery.

“Same time next week. And maybe next time you’ll actually pay attention.”

He waltz out, hearing the main door slam whilst you still lay in bed worn out.

You don’t think you could ever focus in his tutoring classes again. Not when you knew how his cock felt inside you. His punishment failed. It only made you crave more.

#txt #txt smut #txt ff #txt hard hours #taehyun ff #kang taehyun #taehyun smut #taehyun hard hours #taehyun x reader #txt taehyun

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silhouetteonpaper · 2 months ago

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One Shots

✧ - Platonic | ☽ - Angst | ♡ - Fluff

Vengeance | ☽♡ You decide to take matters into your own hands and get revenge on the person you despise most. But what happens when you keep it a secret from the entire team?

Disconnected | ☽♡ When a seemingly simple mission takes a turn for the worse, you’re left to your own devices to figure out how to survive.

Worth It | ✧♡ As you find yourself at yet another one of Tony’s parties, dread fills you at the idea of having to socialize. But what happens if you decide to cause some mischief and bend the rules a little?

Missing | ✧☽♡ When another average day of work leaves you with piles and piles of casework, you’re surprised to see the missing persons report amidst the stack of papers. Jumping headfirst into solving the case, who could have ever predicted where it would leave you?

Mind and Matter | ☽♡ When your plan to save New York goes awry, Natasha decides there’s only one person to blame.

Who’s To Blame? | ✧☽ When you show up at the compound with severe injuries, there’s no guarantee if you’re going to pull through. Even worse than that, there’s no one to explain how you ended up in this situation in the first place.

Saving Lives | ☽♡ It was supposed to be your one day off, working tirelessly as an EMT earning you a well deserved rest day. But what happens when a last minute emergency leaves you worried about the person you love the most?

Public Figure | ✧☽♡ The world wants to know all about you as the newest addition to the Avengers. But what happens when a normal interview session digs up something you’ve never told a soul… not even Natasha?

You’ve Changed | ✧☽♡ You’ve been hiding out for ages, living your own life now that you’ve chosen to be a solo-act agent. When someone from your past happens to appear at your door--this time with something on her mind--how will you react?

The Cycle of Grief | ✧☽♡ When your brother passed away, the only person you could blame was yourself. Now that the grief has consumed you, there’s only one thing left to do. But what happens when a certain someone threatens to spoil your plans?

Goodbye | ☽ It’s time for you to move out of the compound now that you’re ready to move onto bigger things in life—things you’re more passionate about. But what happens when that means leaving the person you love the most?

Hopeless | ☽♡ After an injury leaves you benched for nearly six months, you’re left questioning what your future will hold—including if it involves the person who’s stayed at your side through it all.

On The Run | ☽♡ You were used to the usual routine; completing a mission for some quick cash, running to the next hide-out in order to stay off the grid. But you weren't off the grid, not to Natasha. She still kept tabs on you, just in case. And now, she needed to find you—fast, before you both end up on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s kill list.

Red Remains | ☽♡ The Red Room will always haunt you, just as much as it haunts your girlfriend. The two of you can only hope to take down the Red Room once and for all, but something stands in your way. That’s when you’re forced to choose between the love of your life, and your biggest enemy: your father.

Playing With Time | ☽♡ Traveling through time is something you’re used to. Hopping from one century to another, causing some chaos, then moving onto the next year--only to repeat the same routine all over again. You’ve been to New York numerous times, but never in the 21st century. And what’s waiting for you on the streets of NYC have the chance to change your entire future…no, past…wait--present?

Tricks, Treats, and Tribulations | ☽♡ Of course you were going to dress up for Tony’s Halloween party; but if you knew what your choices were going to provoke… maybe you would've picked a different costume. With Natasha by your side, who could've expected were would land by the end of the night.

Opportunity | ☽♡ Your first mission as an Avenger was just around the corner with Fury eager to have you on the team. As glad as your girlfriend was to have you around at work, she had her own opinion about you avenging. Would her conflicting hopes get in the way of the biggest opportunity you’d ever had?

In Celebration Pt 1. Pt 2. | ☽♡ You and Natasha have been questioning the boundaries between co-workers, friends, and maybe even something more. After a perfect day spent with her, she has a suprise second date that leaves you guessing. Unfortunately for you, it’s more than just a suprise.

Benched | ☽♡ You’re cut from participating in missons for the foreseeable future; the news was delivered by none other than your girlfriend, Natasha. The torturous break from Avenging seems to be unfair... until you hear the other perspective.

Thanksgiving | ☽♡ It was your first Thanksgiving with Natasha. Actually, it was your first Thanksgiving ever. And to make matters worse, you were meeting her parents for the first time. Would this be the best or the worst first Thanksgiving ever?

Requests

Stressed Stiches | ♡ When Natasha returns from her mission, she realizes just how stressed her absence made you feel. In an attempt to soothe your impending anxiety, a certain craft keeps you busy while waiting for your girlfriend’s return.

#marvel fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader

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scitties · 2 years ago

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objectively the funniest way to experience qsmp is through osmosis purely. so far what i understand is that:

it's a server that's the equivalent of the bachelor but with a cast of Quackity and his exes that, probably, all wanted to kill him at some point. plus Jaiden.

Charlie is doing his average thing of murder (which i always support him for) in revenge for his dragon hybrid child who wielded a gun that was a gift from satan. also that he's holding a joint divorce-murder-child event.

Jaiden is getting initiated into the mafia just so Charlie can hire her to assist in said murder. i think Charlie's daughter also technically falls under "bury your gays" trope since she's the (so far) only canonically queer character.

Phil is learning the trials and tribulations of Parenthood now that he's forced to be responsible and not enable those close to him into committing war crimes. and that he and his designated partner are somehow the most functional out of all couples.

i have no idea what Wilbur is doing but he's probably slutwhoring to his wildest dreams somewhere out there. i think he's partner to Quackity too. world's sluttiest absent father, as usual.

tldr. godbless gay people.

#qsmp #calscittiespost

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supernaturalscribe67 · 6 months ago

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Unwarranted

Words: 4,983

POV: 3rd Person

Pairing: Team Free Will x Male!ExAngel!Reader [Platonic]

Warning(s): Mention of past sexual harassment, sexual harassment, angst, hurt/comfort

Summary: Humans are interesting and complex creatures, and ever since the reader lost his grace, he had to learn to become one. Luckily, he had his friends by his side to help him through his trials and tribulations. What happens when he's face-to-face with a human experience he never anticipated, and how will Team Free Will help him resolve his issue?

Request:

Hi! I hope you're having a good day/night. This request is very specific. I would write it myself, but im awful at it. I hope you don't mind, lol.

May you do (ex?)Angel!Male!reader x TFW (platonic obv). You can make it where Reader joined after the angels fell and was castiels past battle partner and was good friends with him, or something else if you'd like.

Reader lost his grace after a rogue angel took it from him. He has no idea how to be human and struggles a lot, even with the help of Dean, Sam, and Castiel. Anyways, to get to the point- Reader picked a pretty attractive vessel, so both men and women hit on him a lot when the group goes to diners or bars and most of the time Reader wanders off to explore since hes never really gone to earth before so the boys never notice, and he doesn't know how to react or what to do when they start to get touchy, only that he doesn't feel comfortable with it at all, but he thinks if he tells them to stop its a form of being rude, so he never says so. the person usually stops when they realize Reader isn't having the type of reaction they were looking for.

When Reader mentioned this to the boys randomly, they realized that Reader didn't know that it was bad that they were touching him and explained what it was, what to say, and do when that happens and comforts him when he finally cries as a human.

Anonymous

A/N: I am so sorry for going off the grid for a while! Honestly, keeping track of dates and time frames has not been my strong point, especially with everything going on with work. Luckily I'm almost done with another request as well and will have that up by this weekend! I hope this gives the request justice. As always, feedback is very much appreciated!

~ Much Love!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Humans are interesting and complex creatures, each with their own thoughts, wants, needs, and interests. When (Y/N) first joined Castiel on Earth two years prior, he was amazed by the array of personalities and emotions. No two people are alike, but, due to the vast differences, many of them can be categorized under three distinct titles; good, neutral, and evil.

The good people are the ones who are selfless. They take the first step when it comes to helping others. They aren’t perfect but they are as close as anyone can be. Only a small amount of people fit into the category of ‘good’, most of which find themselves canonized into sainthood years after death. Many strive to be classified under such a prestige title, but few make the cut. However, just because someone isn’t worthy of the title, doesn’t make them a bad person automatically.

Neutral individuals are what most would describe as your ‘average Joe’. It is the category in which most people lie. They are neither good nor bad. The choices they make in life come with a mix of positive and negative intentions. An example of a neutral person could be someone’s English teacher, who partakes in volunteer work after hours, or your boss, who had just been caught cheating on his wife with Jim from the mailroom. Just because people do bad things, doesn’t make them inherently evil.

True evil is much darker. An individual who would put a demon to shame with their actions, thoughts, and desires. One with little regard for the well-being of others. Ones that hurt others purely for self-gratification. To gain an advantage. Those are the ones that end up in prison or a seat in Congress. They’re usually manipulative, have a silver tongue placed in their mouth at birth, and can easily coerce those who are weak and gullible.

(Y/N) had met his fair share of individuals from all three categories throughout his time on Earth, supernatural entities excluded. At first, with his angelic powers, he was able to make an assumption of others based solely on their thoughts. Ever since the fall, however, his judgments on people had become rather askew. He was able to get the full experience of being human - not able to truly tell what one was thinking during various interactions - and he would be lying if he said he enjoyed it. Rather, the lack of understanding when it came to others caused him to develop a sense of paranoia. The last thing he wanted was for others to assume the worst of him. Even as an angel, he would treat the worst of the worst with as much kindness as he could muster.

Little did he know that the paranoia would lead to his downfall and a deep realization of how evil some people could be.

The first couple of weeks after his grace was stolen, (Y/N) was lost. He knew next to nothing about maintaining the necessary needs to keep his body alive. It was all tedious in his eyes. Why did humans need to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom so much throughout the day? Who possibly had the time to do so? Do they have to thread their needs into their schedules for work and school? On top of that, why did humans need to pay for food and water? Were they not necessities? Why would someone need to pay to survive? (Y/N) held a plethora of questions in his mind that still go unanswered.

Thankfully, Castiel, Sam, and Dean were all there for him, guiding him through the processes necessary to provide for his new form. It took a while for him to get the hang of it - the most overwhelming thing was when he was introduced to a large variety of foods. All the new flavors and textures send his tongue into sensory overdrive. Dean was more than happy to realize, though, that the two of them were rather fond of the same flavor of pie.

With the loss of his grace came the depletion of his strength. He was no longer invincible to man-made weaponry. Because of this, and since Sam and Dean’s jobs were so physically demanding, they spent weeks in training. Blades, firearms, and hand-to-hand all had their challenges, but (Y/N) was a quick learner, something the brothers respected him highly for. Within a month and a half, he was on the road with them, hopping from case to case.

Saving people, hunting things, the family business.

And true it was. The time he had spent with Castiel and the Winchesters was extensive, and there was never a dull moment. Away from the darkness and the monsters that crept in the night, Sam and Dean were playful jokesters. Childish, yet mature when they needed to be. It was noticeable that Castiel had also developed certain aspects of their personalities, as he was more lighthearted than when (Y/N) first met him. As time passed, (Y/N), too, started to display those characteristics. He felt like a member of the team. A real Winchester. For the first time since the fall, he felt at home.

*~*

(Y/N) had been to a handful of bars since he turned human, before becoming an honorary member of the Winchester family, and there was one fact he could confidently state; he didn’t like them.

Sure, he met some rather nice people while at said bars, mainly the middle-aged female bartenders who gave off a motherly aura, but with every kind individual he saw, he encountered twice as many assholes. Those were the ones that drunkenly called him slurs even though they knew nothing about him, the ones that shoved him out of the way when they wanted to get to the bar, or the ones that continuously pushed their limits on his personal boundaries.

Unfortunately, he had experienced the latter more than he would have liked.

He couldn’t quite describe how he felt when he had those interactions. When a bar patron would press themselves against his back or chest, touch his ass or thighs, or even leave kisses on his neck, shoulders, cheeks, and lips. It was decided, though, that he was extremely uncomfortable. Why would he possibly feel that way? He assumed that touches and kisses were how humans expressed affection towards one another. So, why didn’t he like it? He chalked it up to not being used to that form of affection or affection in general. Surely, he was bound to get comfortable with it eventually.

After-hunt celebrations were common with the Winchesters. Either the day of or the night after, they would all gather at the nearest watering hole, grab a drink or two, and then head back to the motel. Sometimes, Sam or Dean would abandon the group to retreat with a romantic partner, but (Y/N) would always stick with Castiel and the remaining brother. He never had any interest in human relations. It was a new, complex situation outside of learning to be human. He was just getting used to that concept, and he had no desire to learn about other aspects of humanity yet.

Classy Cline’s sat on the edge of a small town in Washington state. While its name suggested an upscale establishment, the place was, in all actuality, a shit hole. The booths and barstools were ripped at every corner of the seam, the tables were chipped and scuffed, and it appeared as if the employees hadn’t swept or mopped the floor in well over a decade. They had all been to nasty bars in the past, but Classy Cline’s took the cake.

“I don’t even wanna drink from this glass,” Sam mumbled as he eyed the pint glass Dean had placed in front of him.

While aesthetics weren’t on Cline’s side, the beer looked more than appetizing. An amber/gold liquid, topped with a beautiful, white head. Any beer enthusiast would foam at the mouth at the sight. The glasses, contrary to the floors, looked spotless. If they had put as much effort into cleaning the building as they did disinfecting the glassware, lines would be out the door, and Cline would be a millionaire.

“Oh, don’t be a baby, Sammy,” Dean rolled his eyes and gave a beer to (Y/N) and Castiel. “It may not live up to its name, but the beer sure looks good.”

“Thank you, Dean,” (Y/N) and Castiel spoke in unison.

“I’ll never get used to that,” Dean shook his head and sat down next to his brother. “It’s as if you two are constantly in sync.”

(Y/N) furrowed his brows as he cupped the glass with one hand, condensation coating his palm. “We’re an American boy band from the 90’s?” He cocked his head to the side.

Dean froze, the glass inches from his lips as he shot him a questioning glance. “While I’m proud of you for remembering what I taught you about music, that’s not what I meant. ‘In sync’. Two separate words.”

“Oh…”

“(Y/N) and I have worked together for well over a century. We’re bound to have some similarities.” Castiel explained.

Dean shrugged. “I guess you’re right,” he took a sip of his beer.

(Y/N) noted Sam’s hesitancy to drink, so he took a moment to examine the liquid himself. It looked clean, safe, and better than many other beers he had drank before. He took a swig and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was still very cold. A layer of foam coated his upper lip. Sam picked up his glass and examined the bottom.

“Will you stop that?” Dean scolded. “The beer is fine, Sam, you’re not going to die. You look like an idiot.”

“Well, excuse me for being skeptical, Dean! Have you seen the state of this place? I believe I have a right to be concerned.” Sam hissed.

“The beer is very pleasant, Sam,” (Y/N) smiled as he took another long swig, downing half the pint.

Sam slowly nodded. “I can tell,” he mumbled and glanced down at his glass. He hesitated for a moment before he took a careful sip, letting the liquid rest against his tastebuds before he swallowed. He hummed and raised his brows. “Wow, that’s pretty good.”

“See? Your big brother knows a thing or two about beer,” Dean smiled.

A bartender waltzed into view - an overworked twenty-something with her dirty blonde hair tossed back into a bun that she should have fixed hours ago. She sat a rocks glass in front of (Y/N), the ice emanating a clink inside as it shifted. He stared and intensely studied the dark liquid.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I didn’t order this,” he looked up at her.

The bartender sighed and gestured towards the bar. “The man over there sent it,” she grumbled, her voice unenthusiastic and laced with exhaustion. She didn’t give him any time to further investigate before she swiveled through the booths and tables, vanishing into the crowd of regulars.

The group looked at the drink with curiosity before their attention shifted to the bar. Only one of the patrons had their gaze glued to the hunters. He looked to be in his mid-forties, with short, salt-and-pepper hair decorating the top of his head and a beard to match. Age lines crinkled the corners of his mouth and eyes. A leather jacket covered his broad shoulders and the jeans he wore left little to the imagination. When (Y/N)’s eyes connected with the stranger’s, the man smirked and winked. (Y/N) continued to stare at him, lips slightly parted, until he felt an elbow in his side. His gaze shot over to the eldest Winchester.

“Give him a smile and a wave. That shows him you appreciate it.” Dean said through a smile.

“Oh,” (Y/N) raised his brows and looked back at the man, whose eyes were still on him. He gave a small smile, followed by a timid wave.

The stranger grinned before he turned his head away. (Y/N) looked down and studied the glass once more. The liquid was a slightly darker shade than the beer, but more transparent. When he picked it up, the liquid sloshed inside. The smell was strong but slightly sweet. Whiskey. A sip of it caused him to cringe. It was Fireball. Not the best choice to send a stranger across the bar, but to each their own.

Dean leaned in close to him, his cheeky grin still prominent. “You should go over and talk to him.”

“Why?”

“He just gave you a drink. He wants to talk to you.”

(Y/N) gave Dean a confused stare. “How does that-”

“It doesn’t matter.” Dean waved him off. “He’s flirting with you by sending over the drink! You should go flirt back.”

(Y/N) looked from the drink to Dean, from Dean to the stranger. He was a very attractive man, but (Y/N) was far from interested in flirtation. However, if Dean thought he should, what could go wrong? He trusted Dean’s advice.

Hesitantly, (Y/N) stood, the glass of Fireball in hand, and made his way over to the bar where the gentleman sat. He took the empty barstool next to him. The man looked at him out of the corner of his eye and smirked.

“Good to see you up close,” he said and turned his body to face (Y/N). “You’re even cuter than I thought. Chris,” he held out his hand.

This is a handshake. This is how strangers greet each other.

(Y/n) grasped Chris’ hand and shook it gently. He noticed how firm his grip was. “My name is (Y/N),” he said.

Chris smirked. “A beautiful name for a beautiful man,” he pulled his hand away and casually placed it on (Y/N)’s knee. “I’ve been coming here for, close to, fifteen years, and I have never seen anyone as good-looking as yourself. You new around here?”

(Y/N)’s eyes shifted to Chris’ hand before they returned to his face. “My friends and I are on a trip.” He replied. It’s a classic lie most hunters use and one that was taught to him early on in his training.

“Ah, and how long will you be staying?”

“I believe this is the last night we’re here.”

“You’re not sure?”

“My friend, Dean, drives us. He knows more about our itinerary than I do.”

“A ‘go with the flow’ kind of man. I like it.”

As they continued to talk, Chris’ hand ventured further up (Y/N)’s thigh, squeezing the flesh on his leg from time to time. Simple conversation switched to flirting rather quickly, the majority of it one-sided. What started as cheesy ‘first date’ type questions turned risque in the blink of an eye. At first, they were easy questions that (Y/N) could answer without an issue, but once they started to get dirty, his mind turned blank. Half the vocabulary Chris used was new to him. While he knew all of them revolved around sex, he couldn’t quite pinpoint the definition, regardless of the context clues provided.

He could feel the familiar pit in his stomach as the questions droned on. The sensation that he couldn’t quite give a title to yet. At least, not an accurate one. ‘Uncomfortable’ seemed as if it fit too loosely for the circumstance. It felt as if there were a swarm of bees buzzing around in his stomach, moving from his gut to his chest periodically.

Chris leaned in close to (Y/N)’s ear, his warm, whiskey-filled breath caressing his cheek. (Y/N)’s eyes were cast down. He had lost the ability to maintain constant eye contact when the mood shifted, and the bees began their attack.

“What do you say we get out of here?” Chris asked. “I could show you a thing or two.”

When Chris’s hand landed on (Y/N)’s crotch, every muscle in his body was on fire as they clenched tightly. (Y/N)’s eyes went wide and his body froze. The bees didn’t just fly, they infiltrated his entire nervous system. He felt an overwhelming need to retreat like one would in a battle they knew they couldn’t win. But he wasn’t in a battle. It was a simple conversation. Why did he feel like that?

Chris pressed small kisses on the back of (Y/N)’s ear. (Y/N) inhaled and turned his head slightly, the need to get away from Chris strong. Chris immediately stopped and opened his eyes. He paused for a moment before he pulled away and sighed.

“I see you’re not as interested as I thought you were,” he gave a tight smile, pulled out his wallet, and slammed a twenty on the bar. “Thanks for nothing.” He grumbled before he got up and stormed away.

With his presence gone, (Y/N) felt a sense of peace and ease wash over him. The beating of his heart inside his chest began to lessen and return to a normal pace. With a glance down at his hand, he noticed the way his fingertips trembled. That hadn’t been the first time someone else had gotten so bold with touching him, and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last. When was that feeling going to go away?

After a minute or so passed, he was able to compose himself enough to stand from the barstool and wander back to the table where Sam, Dean, and Castiel sat. He joined them without a word, not wanting to interrupt their conversation, and grabbed his lukewarm beer. There was no chance he was going to drink anymore that night. Not with his stomach as uneasy as it was.

“Hey, you okay?” Sam asked.

“I’m fine,” (Y/N) spoke.

“You sure?” Dean chimed in. “Guy looked like he had a stick up his ass when he left.

(Y/N) shrugged. “I believe he just wanted to leave.” He tried to keep his voice as straight as possible. He could tell his nerves hadn’t fully recovered.

Dean shook his head. “Well, his loss.”

*~*

One thing (Y/N) adored about being human was the way showers made him feel after a hunt. He never quite realized how tense his muscles could get until the hot water caressed his limbs. It was as if all the adrenaline was washed from his body. It made him feel refreshed. Renewed.

That night, he got the last shower. The water wasn’t as hot as other showers he had taken, but he would accept warm any day. By the time he left the bathroom, clad in a pair of night pants and a loose t-shirt courtesy of the youngest Winchester, Sam, Dean, and Castiel were dressed to leave. Another post-hunt celebration. Dean glanced at (Y/N).

“You’re not coming?” He asked.

(Y/N) shook his head and walked over to his bed. “Not tonight, no.”

“Why not? You never miss out on a bar.”

(Y/N) settled into the bed, and sat up with his legs crossed. “I notice that humans get very physical when they are at bars. I’m not quite used to it yet, so I think I’m going to wait until I’m ready.”

“Ready for what, (Y/N)?” Castiel asked.

“The touching.”

The three of them shared a concerned look before Sam waved his hand dramatically, eyes closed tightly.

“Wait,” he reached a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What do you mean ‘get used to’?”

“Well, I’m not accustomed to the way humans express attraction. I surely wasn’t aware that there was as much physical contact involved. So, I figured it was something I would be more comfortable with as time went on. I mean, I never knew strangers were so interested in touching each other’s genitalia.”

They all furrowed their brows, confusion etched perfectly on their faces, and slowly made their way over to the bed. Sam sat at the edge next to (Y/N), Dean stood next to him, and Castiel sat on the opposite side of the bed from Sam.

“(Y/N),” Sam started, his voice soft and steady, the same voice he used when talking to the families of victims. “Have you…given these people permission to touch you?”

(Y/N) cocked his head to the side, slightly taken aback by the question, as it was something he had never even considered before. Had he permitted them to touch him? He could not recall. Then again, he didn’t remember them asking. He took a moment to think back on the times he had been in bars since he became human.

“No,” he answered. “The first couple of times it happened, I pulled away from the touch, as it made me rather uncomfortable, but they would just get upset. One man told me it was wrong to ‘lead him on’ and then deny his touch. After that, I let people touch me. I would like a break from it for tonight.”

“(Y/N), other humans need permission to touch you,” Castiel said.

“But they get upset-”

“To Hell with them being upset,” Dean interjected. “No one has a right to touch you, especially if you don’t want them to.”

“Is that why that one guy left the last bar we went to left? You wouldn’t let him touch you?” Sam asked.

(Y/N) could feel his cheeks and neck heat up. He suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to hide his face. Was it because of the answer to the question? Was it because of the question itself? He couldn’t quite pinpoint the origin of the sense of dread, but he knew it wasn’t going to vanish anytime soon.

He shook his head, eyes cast down to his hands. “I let him touch me. I assume it was because I didn’t respond when he asked me to leave with him.”

Dean’s jaw clenched as he ran a hand down his face. “Son of a bitch,” he growled and began to lightly pace between the motel beds.

Sam slowly shook his head. “(Y/N), those people are horrible. You should never touch someone without consent, and you should never let anyone touch you if you are uncomfortable with it. Do you understand?” His eyes were laced with sympathy.

(Y/N) went to say something, but he felt a lump in his throat prevent him from doing so. Instead, he just gave a short, brief nod.

“I can only imagine how tough it was to become human. To lose all that power. You may not have the power to heal us anymore or read others’ minds, but you are still your own person, (Y/N). You have the power to tell people to keep their hands off of you. You have the power to let yourself have a good time at these places. It doesn’t matter what other people think about your choices. In the end, all that matters is you, okay?”

“Okay,” he replied, his voice shaky and barely above a whisper.

(Y/N) sniffled, and he felt as if his head was pulsing. Tears sprung to the corner of his eyes and cascaded down his cheeks. For the first time since he lost his grace, he cried. It wasn’t loud and dramatic, but, rather, soft.

It explained so much. How he hated the way bar patrons touched him, the sinking feeling when they got too close, the panic that coursed through his veins. That was no flaw on his part, but a flaw on the strangers. What they did was wrong, not him.

And that validation broke him.

(Y/N) immediately knew he hated crying. His chest ached as the silent sobs racked his body. In a way, it was relieving, though. It felt as if all of the pent-up discomfort was being released. As if he was reborn. Still, it hurt worse than it did comfort him.

Castiel was the first to respond as he placed a gentle hand against (Y/N)’s back, Sam, being the closest, engulfed him in a near bone-shattering embrace, and Dean halted his paces to kneel beside the bed, one of his hands landing on the small of his back. (Y/N) closed his eyes tight and leaned his head against Sam’s chest. Their touch made him feel safe. This was a good touch. This was how touch should make him feel. He shouldn’t be forced to feel uncomfortable to please others, because, in reality, some people aren’t going to like him, even if the reasons are far from valid. It was a harsh reality, but as long as he had his family by his side, he didn’t mind if the whole world hated him.

After a few quiet minutes, filled with silent cries, the tears stopped. (Y/N)’s eyes were bright red and puffy, and he occasionally sniffled.

“Hey,” Dean said, his voice soothing.

(Y/N) lifted his head from Sam’s chest and glanced over at him. Sam pulled back a bit so the embrace wasn’t nearly as intense.

“If you’re ever in a situation like that, where some douchebag won’t keep his hands off of you, all you have to do is say the word and we’ll kick his ass for you.”

“What if it’s a woman?” He asked quietly.

Dean opened his mouth to give a quick answer but shut it as he thought about it. “Then we will have Cas bring Jody or Charlie in to kick her ass. The point is; fuck everyone else.”

(Y/N) furrowed his brows. “Does that not mean to have intercourse with them?”

Dean sighed. “Sam, Cas, a little help?”

“What Dean is trying to say,” Castiel chimed in. “Is that you should not prioritize other peoples’ desires over your comfort. You are more important than a stranger. They are not important, you are, and what other people think doesn’t matter. If someone does not listen to you when you deny them, we will do everything in our power to protect you. We still care about you, and want what’s best for you.”

Dean pressed his lips together and nodded. “Couldn’t have said it better myself. That’s exactly what I meant.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back his smirk. “Look, we know how tough it is to be human. Dean and I have been dealing with this our whole lives. We know that there are setbacks that come with the package, but there are also a ton of fun experiences. We don’t want some jackass to ruin it for you. Cas said it better than Dean or I could. We care about you and want to do everything we can to look out for you. You deserve it.”

The tears reappeared, but they weren’t tears of sadness. They were tears of joy. Of relief. As if his heart would burst with all the love and care his friends will it with. (Y/N) took a moment to wrap his arms around each of them in an individual hug to show his appreciation.

“Thank you. I am very grateful to have friends like you.” He smiled warmly.

Dean smiled before he cleared his throat and waved him off. “Alright, enough of the chick-flick crap,” he said as he stood from his spot on the floor, a groan escaping his throat that he tried not to make too noticeable. “What do you say we skip the bar tonight, order some takeout, and watch a movie? I hear Roadhouse is on at seven.”

(Y/N) cocked his head to the side. “What’s Roadhouse?”

Dean froze, wide-eyed. His jaw dropped in shock. “‘What’s Roadhouse’?” He repeated in disbelief. “Action movie? Patrick Swayze? Sam Elliott? Kelly Lumch? Julie Michaels? Keith David!?” With each name, his voice got louder.

“Are those actors?”

“I-” Dean threw his hands up as he turned his back on him and began to pace around the room once more.

(Y/N) flashed a worried look at Castiel, then Sam. Sam shook his head and chuckled.

“Dean’s just being dramatic,” he whispered, which caused (Y/N) to let out a sigh of relief.

“I am not being dramatic!” Dean retorted before he stopped, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. “This is all my fault. I was so focused on teaching him about good music that movies never crossed my mind. Have you at least seen Indiana Jones?”

“Indiana…as in the state?”

“If it makes you feel any better, (Y/N), I, too, have yet to see Roadhouse or Indiana Jones,” Castiel said.

Dean deadpanned. “I have some work to do. Sam, go get us some food. I need to make a list of movies for them to watch.”

Sam snorted as he stood from his spot on the bed. “Yeah, yeah. Just text me what you guys want.” He mumbled and retrieved his jacket from the back of one of the chairs.

As Sam left to get them food, Dean began to ramble on about movies he determined (Y/N) and Castiel had to watch, most of which were either action or old westerns. He talked with such passion regarding the films that (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile. Dean was right, the opinions of others didn’t matter, especially those whose only goal was to satisfy their selfish desires, disregarding others’ wellbeing. They were foolish, scum, true lions in sheep’s clothing. Those hidden evil beings could make themselves look innocent. (Y/N) didn’t need to please them. Didn’t need to make them happy. He only wanted to make his family happy, just as they did him. For how much they’ve helped him on his treacherous journey into manhood, they deserve it, for they have taught him the most valuable lesson of all;

His worth was priceless.

…

“Hey, are you even listening?”

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sacredthethreadgvf · 10 months ago

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Limelight |Jake Kiszka x Reader | Prologue

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back at it..you know me, ideas pop into my head out of the blue and occasionally we go on a journey together. Please note that while this follows the band and Jake closely this is a fictional story. I currently do not have a posting schedule or a plan on how many parts this will be so bare with me !! As always, I appreciate alllll the feedback and love chatting about stories with you all ! I cannot wait to see where yet another enemies to lovers trope takes us! A very special shout out to @joshym for hyping me up over this story and being a beta reader for this upcoming series (I appreciate you so so much!!). This is just a little prologue to start us off on our journey. MINORS DNI this series !!! This will contain smut at one point!

Summary: Jake Kiszka is a pain in the ass to put it in simple terms. But you loved your job, you actually needed this job more than anything. However, shining shoes, refilling water, folding towels, applying eyeliner, etc. was not exactly on your agenda. Neither was falling in love with the type of man you usually steered far, far away from but yet here we are. Being Jake Kiszka's personal assistant has brought trials and tribulations beyond belief but maybe, just maybe, they were worth it all in the end.

Prologue Warnings: None. Unless you want to count swearing?

Limelight.

Between both aspiring artists and fans alike, the chase and the thrill of the limelight could not be beat.

You craved the limelight personally, more than the average fan of music. You wanted a taste of it for yourself ever since you were young but being the center of public attention? Well, scared the hell out of you. So you settled for a different type of “Limelight”. The type of limelight that brought along all of the green rooms, the thrills, the music so loud and close you wouldn’t be able to hear for days following the concert. You craved to just be close to your favorite musicians without having to pay a pretty penny. You craved the backstage limelight.

You had applied at ReverbPR for a simple assistant job to navigate your way through the music industry to make a name for yourself. You went to college to be a producer of music but found it hard as a young girl fresh out of college with little to no experience to have anyone take you seriously in Nashville. So you settled to be an executive assistant for frontmen, guitar and bass players and drummers alike in hopes to market yourself to these artists to then eventually work with them one on one with their new albums.

You were working away at your profile on LinkedIn in a little coffee shop early on a Monday morning when you got the call from your boss Brian.

“Pack your bags, I found a new client for you.”

Your heart raced from excitement. Things with your previous client did not work out well for you. You had been paired up with an up and coming rock band who’s misogynistic ways both on stage and off made it a very uncomfortable work situation for yourself that was taking a toll on you mentally. You had called Brian after a month and begged him to pair you with someone else. To your surprise he agreed and sent your replacement to the band and thankfully, that was the last you heard of them.

So when you heard from Brian you were now paired yet again with an up and coming rock band of young men, your heart sank and your blood pulsed in your ears. But Brian had assured you that this band was different and you wouldn’t be working with all of the band members, just one this time.

Higher following on social media and a good reputation.

So you agreed but had a mind to keep your guard up just in case.

That night, following a few glasses of wine, you lifted your roommate's cat off of your lap. You ignored the soft protests that sweet little Isabel made and reached out for your laptop sitting on the coffee table. You typed ‘GRETA VAN FLEET’ into your browser and fell into a deep dive on the quartet from Michigan and their rise to fame.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away from you, a young guitarist was preparing for a night of revelry.

“Why do you always have to be such a dick dude?!” Jake exasperated, shooting a glare across the room to his better half. Actually, lesser half in the eyes of Jake at this given moment.

Jake's arms were crossed against his chest and he was leaning against a table. His hands were preoccupied with a cup of wine and a little black eyeliner pencil that was about to go to waste.

“Because brother Jake,” Josh paused and closed his eyes as his assistant, Rose, spread silver glitter across his eyelids. “Beauty like mine takes time! My rhinestones aren’t even done yet.”

He closed his eyes again, avoiding the sharp glare from Jake.

“It's not going to take long to do two little black lines under my eyelids.” Jake threw a hand in the air.

He could tell Josh was getting irritated quickly as Jake was interfering with his “Quiet Time” pre stage ritual bullshit. “Exactly. You can do it yourself.”

“Josh,'' Rose protested softly. “It really won’t take me that long.” Josh’s eyes popped open in a warning his sweet assistant Rose then back to Jake as if to say ‘Get the fuck out of my dressing room’.

Jake rolled his eyes. “What fucking ever. I’ll get my own damn assistant then and you won’t be able to steal them.”

As he walked back to his own dressing room clad in his silver stage suit, the faint sounds of fans chanting “GRETA! GRETA! GRETA!” filled his ears. His senses were heightened. No matter how many times he’s been on stage. No matter how many pep talks he has given himself before, he will never shake the butterflies.

Now to add to the butterflies was pure rage. A sense of frustration with his twin and he didn’t even have time to do his goddamn eyeliner.

He made a plan in his head to talk to his manager about it tomorrow. It was time he had his own damn help around here.

#jake kiszka #jake kiszka enemies to lovers #jake gvf #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka smut #limelight

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marvelousmop · 23 days ago

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The King in Yellow and the War Over the Mind

I think one of the most powerful aspects of Robert W. Chambers's The King in Yellow, and one which sets it apart from a lot of later Weird Fiction about academics who become too invested in the world of the arcane, is the idea that there just isn't anything explainably wrong with the play. People know there's something wrong with it, especially once you get to the second act... but if you just looked at the text itself, you wouldn't find anything.

'No definite principles had been violated in those wicked pages, no doctrine promulgated, no convictions outraged. It could not be judged by any known standard, yet, although it was acknowledged that the supreme note of art had been struck in The King in Yellow, all felt that human nature could not bear the strain, nor thrive on words in which the essence of purest poison lurked.' ~ The Repairer of Reputations

Despite how central it is, I completely missed it on my first reading (mainly because I was young and grappling with a particularly bad printing of it which made the text really small). I only started to grasp it when I listened to the concept album The King in Yellow by experimental post-rock band "Ah Pook, the Destroyer".

This album is largely inspired by Chamber's work, using that premise - an idea that you can't see but can still cause genuine harm - to talk about the current political climate. Songs touch on a wide array of cults and conspiracies - from the modern-day antisemitic ramblings of Qanon and Lizard People conspiracies to the strong figureheads and interpersonal conflicts of cults like Heaven's Gate. They even find time to touch on the Time Cube somehow, all under the framework of the King in Yellow propagating harmful ideas and bringing about the New Age of Madness.

But it's not as simple as just looking at these people and calling them mad. Okay, sometimes it is that (best exemplified in the gospel stylings of "The Tribulation of Alex Jones"), but there are cases where the characters are presented with genuine empathy, such as in "The Road to Carcosa" where we hear about the life of a man who, through exposure to the Yellow Sign (which here is attached to Right-Wing conspiracy theories) ends up destroying his relationship with his family. The singer gets a moment of lucidity in the refrain "The fall of my life came after; And all of my mind was scattered", though this fades away as we hear the end of this story: Him living alone in a gun-filled squalor.

Another thing that elevates this album is how it turns it all back on the listener. There's obviously a specific audience of Left-leaning listeners a project like this would attract, and those people are very unlikely to also share the beliefs of the average Qanon-minded person, but (much like in the book) it constantly emphasises that the actual specific beliefs don't matter as much as the spread of ideas. This is most visible in the refrain heard throughout the album:

The fall you believe Is not far as it seems And the deep can not be so alive The blithe poison meme That you did not believe But you saw and it entered your mind

Belief doesn't matter. Sheer exposure to these toxic ideas means that, in a way, you've already been harmed no matter what you take away from it. This idea is also present in the book, most directly in the story "The Yellow Sign".

In it, Mr. Scott is fully aware of the King in Yellow, but has actively tried to avoid its influence, partially due to the unfortunate fate of Hildred Castaigne (who featured in the story "The Repairer of Reputations" and at the very least wanted to do a monarchist coup of America that would place him as King - all after reading The King in Yellow). By all means, he should be doing the right thing - he has no interest in The King in Yellow and is actively avoiding the play... and it's not like anyone's staging it anymore, so he should be fine... and yet, after strange dreams, an erie watchman, and other bizarre events, he and his model, Tessie, are driven to read it. This is also a story the album quotes right at the start:

'Then, as I fell, I heard Tessie’s soft cry and her spirit fled: and even while falling I longed to follow her, for I knew that the King in Yellow had opened his tattered mantle and there was only God to cry to now.' ~ The Yellow Sign & Beautitudes

It's an idea I think is also evoked in the structure of the anthology. While the first 4 stories directly feature the King in Yellow in one way or another, the rest are tragic, sometimes supernatural romances with seemingly no connection to the title character, to the point where some reprints just do the first 4 and ignore the rest... though I feel it's deliberate when keeping this idea in mind. While the King is absent, Yellow is a recurring motif throughout the book, often emphasising death or danger, and reminding the reader of that titular presence. You have been exposed to the King in Yellow, and now your mind is his domain.

#mop's inane ramblings #my writing #The King in Yellow #Ah Pook the Destroyer #Paul Shapera #Matthew Broyles

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lavendericedcoffee700 · 5 months ago

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The end

+ bonus scene

I went through so many trials and tribulations writing this fic. None of those trials were really related to actually writing this fic, that was the easy part. Wish for the best for AO3 authors, you never know what they're going through out there. I had it in my goals for this year to finish this story and I can say that I did finish a fic the length (nearly) of a romance novel. One of my dreams is to publish some romantic media (novel, comic, interactive fiction, visual novel, etc...) and have it really pop off. Maybe you'll see some of my stuff out there some day under this pen name :)

We made it to 46,327 words out of an average romance novel length of 50,000. I'm not sure what that means for me in context but it sure was fun writing it. Isn't Nanowrimo about that long?

BTS of my writing process:

no beta readers

I would write the story in my head first, and if I couldn't remember what happened, I'd reconsider it as being the right direction for the story until I could remember and replay a scene

written entirely in 1 messy Google Doc

I'm not sure how other authors write, but that's how I did it. Sometimes teachers and schools imply there's a right and wrong way to be creative. There are definitely more and less chaotic ways to do things, but my philosophy these days is finished is better than perfect. Don't let fear of doing things wrong stop you from being creative. If you want to write, do it! Feel free to send me your fics, I promise to read them. <3

I'll open up a long term AMA to celebrate :)c

suggested credit roll song:

#ao3 writer #tf2 #speeding bullet #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #ao3 #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3fic #fic #team fortress 2 #Spotify #sniperscout #speedingbullet

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flamingtunapictures · 2 months ago

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AA Spirit of Justice - Game Review

Tl:dr - A visual and symphonic triumph, this title delivers on striking visuals, a beautiful score, and a wacky, colorful cast innate to the AA DNA. Though there is absence of robust worldbuilding, the story is engaging, ending with an epic finale episode.

Spirit of Justice is one of the longest titles in mainline Ace Attorney games, clocking in at an average of 25-30 hours of gameplay. It features a cross oceanic adventure that takes up courtroom calls in the familiar “Japanafornia,” but also in the new Asianic/Tibetan-inspired Kingdom of Khura’in.

Visually and symphonically this game is an absolute triumph. The game falls in line with the latest generation of Ace Attorney games, defined by immaculate employ of 3D graphics and animations. State-side character designs and animations are some of the brightest, wackiest, and most memorable of the entire series. I have found over the years the AA witness designs I reminisce over the most tend to come from this game. The main eastern counterparts are equally visually striking, albeit not as compelling or memorable as they could have been (more on that later).

The music, per usual, metered and complimented the world and narrative beautifully. From sentimental originals like Reminiscence: Inherited Hopes, to new cultural sounds of Defendant’s Lobby and reorchestrations of classics Allegro, Pursuit, and Troupe Gramarye, there was never a reason to turn the volume down.

Gameplay wise, the game functions virtually the same as all the previous titles with the addition of “Seance Divinations.” This new mechanic allows you to behold the final memories of the deceased…in order to point out contradictions in classic AA fashion. A neat thought, however not entirely memorable or largely contributive to the gameplay as a whole. If anything, it just provides another venue for player frustration at “obscure logic” to manifest (I’m looking at you “man’s voice”).

Most importantly however, as it comes to AA games, how is the story? As I mentioned before, this game is an average of 7 hours longer than your typical AA game. It features 5 episodes instead of the usual 4, bouncing between East and West to give all protagonists equal facetime.

The first episode acts to establish the new Kingdom of Khura’in and the Divination Seance. It is quick, orientational, and full of excellent characters. My main criticism would be the generally insufferable characterization of Nick as the worst kind of tourist.*

The second case brings you back “home” and treats fans to classic Apollo/Trucy shenanigans and more Troupe Gramarye lore.

The (infamous) third episode returns you to the land of Khura’in to solve an unfortunately drawn-out and convoluted tale of death supported by a cast of uninspiring, vanilla characters. Its purpose was to establish plot points for the final episode. However, I’m not totally convinced they were necessary for the final episode to land as well as it did. For that reason, the main purpose of episode three was actually to celebrate the return of Maya Fey in the most Maya way possible: Maya getting accused of murder…again!

The fourth episode brings you back stateside for a quick one day cross-examination of kooky rakugo school students helmed by Athena and special guest Simon Blackquill. It’s a rather inconsequential episode in terms of overall plot, but I found it delightful nonetheless.

The game finally wraps up with its piece de resistance final act —Turnabout Revolution. This episode was a diligent convergence of East and West, giving both settings equal presence and relevance to the final arc. Not only did it lean into AA legacy locations/references like Kurain Village, but, much like Luke Atmey’s larceny case from Trials and Tribulations, the courtroom battle deviates from the typical murder-trial cadence. In the first act of Turnabout Revolution, Apollo and Phoenix go head to head in a civil dispute case. Gone are the too-oft’ drawn out rebuttals, ad-hominem attacks, and tangents on incompetency from the prosecution. In its place, a steady, well paced, respectful exchange is had between attorneys. The first case concludes on an ambiguously sinister note that forces the characters to deadhead east to Khura’in. It is in this new setting the final compelling plot twists, hard-hitting sentimentality, and absolutely stunning character designs are revealed.

MAIN CRITICISM

For as compelling and inspiring the final act was, there was much left wanting in this title as a whole. I think this is largely due to the Kingdom of Khura'in’s lamentable lack of depth and cultural development. Visually and musically it is executed beautifully, but nevertheless remains skin-deep. There is little for world-building fans to sink their teeth into. Consequently, characterization and story intrigue are sacrificed.

While I could comment on the gimmicky religion that is too often treated with the reverence of parody, I would prefer to focus on what I perceive to be the largest under-miner to what could have been a robust Khura’in.

There was a notable lack of consideration taken towards the use of the Khur’ainese language. Sure, there is a word or two, the suggestion of a written language, and Sahdmadhi had that one VA line (that didn’t even sound like a convincing language), but nothing sociologically compelling. The names are some of the laziest puns in the entire series, opting to just drop letters and add apostrophes to existing English words. They are entertaining, but forfeit opportunities for a believable culture in lieu of a quick laugh.

Imagine the intrigue that could be infused if two Khura’inese characters (Dhurke and Datz for example) converse in <Khura’inese> in front of Nick. It would enforce the feeling of Nick being a foreigner in a foreign land and that the Kingdom of Khura’in is its own legitimate ecosystem. *Having characters converse in their native language in front of Nick would also help abate the irritating characterization of him as the “self-righteous,” boisterous, and meddling foreigner. The lack of basic tourist etiquette killed me during this game. I understand Phoenix is the main character, but sometimes taking a third person perspective to a country sorting out their own problems makes for a much stronger narrative.

Now let’s take a look at Apollo as another example of how the use of a <foreign language> could add more character depth. The man grew up in a foreign country and doesn’t talk about it — that is fascinating. Now imagine if the use of foreign language was mixed into how that story was revealed. What if, instead of just his father showing up after 10+ years in the Wright Anything Agency office saying, “Hi Son! Long time no see,” he said, “<Hi Son! Long time no see>,” and then Apollo responds in (rusty) Khura’inese, “<What are you doing here?>” We would all become Trucy Wright in that moment, and the question wouldn’t just be, “How do you know this man?” It would bloom into, “How did you understand what this man said?”, “Wait, Apollo speaks a foreign language?” Then it would become “How do you know this man?” etc. The intrigue and layers this interaction alone could add to Apollo as a character are there for the taking…if only a second longer was taken to incorporate the use of <Khura'inese>.

Finally, the choice to not employ accents in the voice acting of the Khura'inese characters (Dhurke, Rayfa, Datz, Ahlbi, Guards etc) feels nothing short of lazy. The use of accents would have added a nice touch of texture to the already visually striking characters. If a game like Dragon Quest VIII can cast a variety of generically “foreign” accents to even its minor characters, there’s no legitimate reason the citizens of Khura’in should be depicted with the flattest American accents imaginable.

In conclusion, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice is a solid title to the main series. Though it suffers from weak world-building, its story is still largely compelling and enjoyable to play!

#ace attorney #spirit of justice #review #game review #phoenix wright #video game review #opinion #khura'in #maya fey #flamingtunapictures

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aclickbaittitle · 7 months ago

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Underated Audio-Dramas

Asking for it

A queer contemporary take of the Goldilocks tale: about love, music and breaking the cycle of abuse. Goldie escapes a chaotic childhood only to go from a partner who starves her of love to a partner who nearly drowns her in it, before learning to be just right on her own.

My two-cents: This audio-drama I believe is a most listen for any queer person, but especially for us sapphics that want and/or have been in a relationship. I think not much is said about how women are able to harm you, I remember that AN in "Nothing Burns as Bright as You" as how as a bisexual woman the author was taught to be wary of men, but never of woman and in her experience woman often hurt her the most. I remember being in a school conference talking about domestic abuse but never did it once touch on same-gender couples.

All of this is to say that as a society we often neglect to take a real look at how abuse in queer relationships look like, how they look especially in sapphic and lesbian relationships. So I am entirely greatfull "Asking For It Does".

I am lucky enough to have never been in any situation that Goldie finds herself in and still I feel that I know her story not in short thanks to the amazing writer.

Also the MUSIC, the music in this podcast is amazing, and it is from a real band, that also exists within the podcast. How awesome is that!

Fanwars: The Empire Claps Back

Two passionate Star Wars fans on opposite sides of the Last Jedi debate argue via Skype after their favorite forum closes down. If you love Star Wars (or call yourself a proud member of any fandom), you’ll love this romantic comedy told via conversations.

My two cents: The trials and tribulations of being a POC in fandom, more importantly in starwars fandom and realizing that, "oh damm right, poc can spill the same dung as yt fans". And amazing if straight rom-com. I'll recommend it to anyone who wants to spend an afternoon laughing. It also futures the ever growing in popularity pair of a black woman with an asian man, whom is just slightly of an asshole.

Average Folks

Join your friendly neighborhood Prophetess Terra, and the dysfunctional Chieftain's family as they navigate life, love and creatures of an unusual sort.

My two-cents: I've binge-listened to the 1st season of this podcast. It has surprisingly great worldbuilding even though the story develops in a relatively small town. Terra is a great protagonist to follow around bu the characters that really stand out for me are the kids of the Chief and their own aspirations/conflicts about the place their family has on society. It is a bit politician/rich/monarch apologist though.

Deep Blue Stars

Dr. Indigo Hale treads upon a mysterious island, inhabited by nothing more than crabs and cranes, where they must find a way to make it past impostor syndrome, the strange and wonderful loneliness, and the secret nature of their life's work: the Star Shell.

My two-cents: This podcast came at the precise moment of my life so I always hold it dear to my heart. I was discovering my gender in my own terms, and as always struggling with my never ending loneliness, so Dr. Indigo Hale's rambles were a soothing salve. I'll never forget that excerpt about how they felt no-human growing up, 'cause yeah, maybe is the queernes, or the neuro-divergency but it hit spot on. If you like stories of people getting stranded on a desert-island and then creating a relationship with a non-human thing/animal to survive, you'll really love this.

#audiodrama sunday #podcast recommendations #audio drama #fiction podcast #average folks #deep sea stars #fanwars: the empire claps back #asking for it

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cyborgstargod · 10 months ago

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In the Evangelical Christian mind, Israel HAS to exist. Israel's existence is essential to their idea of the Rapture. If Israel doesnt exist, the Rapture and Tribulation cant occur as they think its going to—Israel and the conversion of the Jews living there is how its supposed to go down. How can the Jews in Israel convert to Christianity if there is no Israel?

For American politicians, they have to back Israel for control over the middle east. But for your average American civilian? Im willing to bet the people who support the occupation and genocide are the same people convinced the end is near and fear that if Israel is gone, they'll have to wait longer

#I havent seen anyone point this out and a professor of mine mentioned the evangelicalism thing #palestine #free palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #free gaza #israel #israel occupation #evangelicals #evangelical christianity #apostate

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theresattrpgforthat · 1 year ago

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I saw your recent recommendations for psychic vigilantes games, but do you have recommendations for anything with a more inception or psychonauts feel (aka exploring/influencing dreamspaces or representations of a person's mind)?

THEME: Exploring Dreamscapes

Hello friend! When I first saw this ask, I thought I might have one or two games off the top of my head, but there’s actually many more game options than I thought already stored away in my folders! Without further ado…

Praedormitium, by Joie Martin.

Named for the transition of wakefulness to sleep, Praedormitium is a tabletop roleplaying game inspired by the experience of lucid dreaming. Players portray Hypnopomps, characters with the innate ability to manipulate the Realms of Dream as they travel through it on strange and wonderful adventures.

Praedormitium uses a deck of tarot cards as the basis of its resolution system, cooperative play, and the unlimited power of players' imaginations to build a cohesive narrative experience. Anything is possible in dreams, and the game can be as wild or whimsical, as dark or surreal as the players choose to make it.

This game has some really intriguing lore that creates some backstory as to why your characters are Hypnopomps, and what that means in the game. It’s not extensive though, so there are plenty of gaps and spaces for your play group to fill in. Your main role is to keep the balance of dreams: nightmares and phantasma all have a role to play. The game uses tarot cards, and incorporates tarot card suits into the lore, so if you like games that tie the mechanics to the setting, you might be interested in Praedormitium.

Lucid Sea of Dreams, by The Games Gardener.

A roleplaying game about Lucid Dreamers and their adventures, tribulations, and mysteries in the Waking World and the Sea of Dreams. Inspired by dreams, nightmares, and Jewish folklore (and much much more). Has been described as 'inside-out meets pan's labyrinth’.

Lucid Sea of Dreams makes lucidity something that your character can lose. Your character has Lucidity points, which kind of doubles as Hit Points - lose all of your Lucidity points, and you wake up. In the waking world, losing Lucidity points could lead to becoming unconscious, or even death. This means that there’s much higher stakes in this kind of game - in fact, it’s tagged as horror, so be prepared to enter dangerous scenarios and meet difficult foes. The dice resolution system uses d10 dice pools, which I personally find very satisfying! This game was Kickstarted back in 2022, so I’m not sure if it’s in its final stage, or if there’s more to come.

Nyx, by Doctor Glasgow.

When the Day of the Comet came, much of what was sank into the world below. Into the murky ebon twilight of a most ancient realm, Nyx. Since the very first sparks of light danced behind the eyelids of our ancestors, this realm began to swirl with Dreams. And yet, in sleep, there too, are Nightmares…

Nyx is a role-playing game, set in a darkened realm of sleep and dreams. It is an interpretive game, wherein the strange setting is only just barely glimpsed, like a dream half-remembered when one wakes from slumber. It is up to the players and the Dream Master (DM), to interpret the vague setting details as they see fit, and form a vision of Nyx wholly their own.

Nyx combines dice and cards in an average play session, with plenty of set-up questions to encourage a collaborative world-building and a point-buy system that fuels character creation. Your character is pretty customizable, allowing you to increase specific stats, improve character skills, or focus on special abilities and spells. There’s also different character forms, which I really like - as dream-entities, race or species don’t really make sense. It’s totally possible that your character has been different things over different iterations. The art in this book is lovely and does a really good job of conveying the magical and surreal theme. The full game is only $5, but if you want to see what you’re getting into first, you can always get the Free Beta version at the bottom of the shop page.

18XX Dreams, by Deep Light Games.

THE DREAM REALM WELCOMES YOU: This land has always been here, visited by some, forgotten by many. Something changed. An increasing number of people have been waking with fantastical ideas and feelings. Now, dreams are becoming more solid: books, paintings, scores…

The barrier is thinner. Some are trapped here, some search for what they can’t reach elsewhere, some just roam, exploring and helping others. What meaning is hidden in your dreams?

18XX Dreams is only 4 pages long, which is pretty standard for 24XX games. This game relies on a handful of polyhedral dice, a small inventory, and special abilities that align with your character archetype - a minimalist set-up that focuses on creativity to overcome obstacles, with elements of OSR play. There’s a page of d12 roll tables for the GM to roll on when they want to introduce something new to the dream, and the game even comes with rules on how to create a DreamCrawl, a simple map that helps the players navigate different parts of a dream-scape.

Dreampunk, by Xavid.

At night, you dream. Your dreams are not idle imaginings, but visits to a persistent world of wonders and dangers both personal and alien. Will you find power there? Will you find freedom? Or will you slowly slip into Entanglement, and be trapped there forever? Play to find out!

Your character is a Dreamer, someone from a waking world who is drawn to the Dream when they sleep. As a Dreamer, you have powerful abilities to shape the world around you. To do so, you must play a card and incorporate into your action an element of your choice from the card.

To play Dreampunk, you’ll need to either buy the Dreampunk Deck of Cards, or a deck of cards with similarly surreal art. Dixit cards, for example, would be an excellent tool for this game. The game uses a series of Moves, but rather than rolling dice, like you would in PbtA games, you play cards from your hand. The game designer cites Belonging outside Belonging and Jenna Moran’s work as inspiration, so I’d expect this game to be well suited for players who are willing to work in the grey areas of interpretation, and who are looking to embrace themes and motifs rather than damage and gear lists in their style of play.

Onira’s Slumber, by FantasticJean.

Welcome to Oniria - a place where Dreams and Nightmares come to life and make the city their own. In this game you play as a member of the Quixotic Society and are tasked with investigating and containing the Reveries when they start becoming too messy.

This is a game that is compatible with TROIKA, which, while originally is meant to be a kind of multi-verse science fantasy, easy translates to a surreal dream-scape. You don’t need Troika to play though - the rules are included to make this a standalone game. Onira is meant to be a place that can be explored, and the game comes with a number of place descriptions, special events that might affect the characters, and an introductory adventure for a first-time group.

If you want more dream-related supplements for Troika, I’d recommend Oneironauts and Oneironauts 2, by Thriftomancer.

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #dnd #game recommendations #dreamscapes

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set-phasers-to-whump · 2 years ago

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skymed whump list

description: “Follows intense character journeys and high-stakes medical rescues, heartbreaks and tribulations of budding nurses and pilots flying air ambulances.” whump refers to various recurring male characters (unfortunately not all of them are in the pic, but from left to right are Tristan, Chopper, Nowak, and Bodie)

overall notes: apparently you can find the show on paramount plus but I pirated it so I can’t say anything for captions or availability. it’s a little silly sometimes but it’s way more interesting than a lot of your average medical dramas imo.

Pilots And Nurses And Bears, Oh My! (1x01) - Jeremy: stabbed, stitches Wheezer: plane crash, unconscious, bloody face, carried, broken back Bodie: upset

Line Indoc (1x02) - Bodie: at gunpoint, hit in the head with a gun

The Kids Are Alright (1x03) - Wheezer: in the hospital

Where There’s Smoke (1x04) - Wheezer: on crutches

Bushwhacked (1x05) - Wheezer: walking with a cane Jeremy: hit by a car, in the hospital Bodie: leg caught in a bear trap, carried, in the hospital Tristan: upset, crying

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (1x06) - none

Daj Mi Buzi (1x07) - Nowak: overworked, tired, crashes his car, cut forehead, in pain and struggling to get out, relocates dislocated shoulder by himself, two panic attacks Jeremy: in medical transport, upset Trevor: upset Bodie: upset

Frozen (1x08) - Nowak: panic attack while flying, upset, fight with Bodie Chopper: panicked Bodie: fight with Nowak Jeremy: cold

Leave It All On The Ice (1x09) - Wheezer: gagging Jeremy: stumbling, shot, upset at himself Pierce: trapped under a shelf, reveals he’s going deaf, internal bleeding, in the hospital, upset at himself Bodie: crying

NEW!! Season 2:

Return to Base (2x01) - Jeremy: argument with Crystal Tristan: mildly electrocuted, argument with Nowak Nowak: argument with Tristan Wheezer: scared Chopper: in an explosion, unconscious, impaled with shrapnel, cardiac arrest, field medicine

Spun Out (2x02) - Jeremy: upset, argument with Crystal Wheezer: slip and fall, emotional conversation Chopper: unconscious in hospital, waking up, groggy, arm pain, upset, collapse Bodie: upset Nowak: upset

Things That Matter Most (2x03) - Chopper: upset, can’t use his hand much, hand bandaged Nowak: upset Bodie: plane crash, emotional conversation, crying Tristan: plane crash, broken rib Jeremy: plane crash

Turbulence (2x04) - Chopper: in pain from his injuries, limping, upset, crying

Code Silver (2x05) - none

Little Lies (2x06) - Jeremy: upset, doubting himself Wheezer: stressed Nowak: upset, angry

Old Wounds (2x07) - Tristan: upset, crying Nowak: guilty, panicking, vomits Wheezer: upset, worried about Haley, argument with Haley, angry Bodie: in trouble for breaking rules Chopper: in trouble for breaking rules

Before Sunrise, After Sunset (2x08) - Bodie: upset

Out With a Bang (2x09) - Nowak: upset, trapped by a broken elevator, revelation of past trauma, crying, unconscious, carried, in hospital with ruptured diaphragm and broken ribs Wheezer: sick, delirious Tristan: upset, crying, worried Bodie: in hospital after kidney donation

#i say things #skymed #whump list #it’s not the highest quality out there but it’s interesting and pretty cool #also for those interested wheezer is played by aaron ashmore so…..#also the show is set in the canadian north which is a much more interesting setting than like. the city or whatever #and there’s a strong focus on indigenous communities which I really liked #I doubt it’ll get another season tho but I’d recommend it if you’ve got free time and don’t mind something a little soapy a little silly #the fandom for this show appears to be like ten people and a bag of chips so like. please.#(btw I’ll be writing my last bthb fic for this)#(sorry to disappoint by not doing one of my usual fandoms but I have an Idea)#oh there’s a gifset of nowak in 1x07 somewhere around btw #that’s the top whump ep imo. physical and emotional with lasting talked about consequences #cannot believe we got a second season

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dragongirldeity · 9 months ago

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there's currently a very rare thunderstorm in San Francisco. i am sitting on my couch and generally enjoying this moment in life, because the past several years have been full of trials and tribulations. life is exhausting as a transfem, since my existence is first and foremost Political, and Up For Debate, while i largely just want to exist with my friends and loved ones and not be bothered.

of course, civilization being what it is right now, i am largely not afforded the luxury of getting to simply not be bothered about my existence. i can tune out some amount of it, for sure, but there's just such a volume of transmisogyny across society that it's always a status debuff i have to work against or put out of mind.

the past few years have been difficult, between graduating shortly before covid-19 (most of my 20s have been a weird haze of quarantining), amicably parting with my partner of 7 years (we have grown and simply have different wants now). i've never actually had many long-term support vectors in my life: i was sent to a religious high school, and wasn't allowed or able to keep in contact with any of my friends from growing up. i am estranged from my parents since they e-stalked me and have generally never respected my boundaries or autonomy as a person, and that's without getting into the mess of them Not Liking Me Being Queer. a lot of my friends have been moving away from the bay area, because building queer-trans community is Fucking Difficult when basically everyone in the bay area is only here transiently (and when a lot of queer stuff in the bay is cis-queer and not trans-queer, too). and that's why i myself am moving away later this year: much of my social graph has moved, and my attempts to regrow things here for the past year-and-change..... haven't been unsuccessful, but i think have helped me realize that even if i have a Fulfilling Social Graph here again, i would still be happier elsewhere, away from all the tech companies and nimbys and generally-constant sunny days (i am a vampire who enjoys the rain).

suffice it to say that life is generally difficult for a lot of trans people right now. life is difficult for your average people in general right now with the general socioeconomic situation we're in. life is more difficult for trans people, since we face nearly constant discrimination and harassment and hate and legislation. and then life can be even more difficult in typical life ways on top of that.

i still have things better than a lot of my peers: my computer autism means i have a reasonably stable job & career path. my best friend, whom i dearly love and cherish, was just in town visiting me last week. a few of my long-time internet friends live a few blocks away, and my two cats unconditionally love me. i do have people in my life who love me and care about my well-being. i am, blessedly, not alone in all this. and on top of all that i am fortunate enough to have found a pretty good therapist who can help me navigate and compartmentalize and process all of the struggles i face, since it's frankly a lot for a disabled autistic transfemme to navigate on my own.

the main thing that has been so hugely positive here is The Internet. the community i have would not really exist if not for The Internet. the social hubs that i cultivate and operate for my friends are, of course, on the internet. i meet friends-of-friends on discord and tumblr and telegram and whatnot, and it's truly great being able to be and feel so connected because of it.

and yet......... even on the internet, we are not free of anything. if anything, we're more vulnerable on the internet; our online identities and presences are intertwined, connected, and visible; it's easy for hateful motherfuckers to find the most vulnerable people online and go after them. if one part of your presence is found, it's a thread a stranger can try and unravel to expose you, to wield against you. at least in person, you can always put up a façade, walling off strangers and giving them nothing else to go off of; online, we just project an entity to be perceived, and often times aren't really aware of everything.

there's. a point here i wanted to make, somewhere. i wanted to say something with all this. i think it's that for a lot of us, we are just tired of all the fucking transmisogyny around every corner. it's already so much struggling to exist as a person In General at this moment in time. It's even harder having to face hate and struggle to exist even online just because you're a transfemme who wants to drop the façade around those like you. we're not allowed to have our own digital communities without outsiders wanting to look in and police us there, too.

for a lot of us, we are simply too tired and overwhelmed from everything else to also deal with this a lot of the time. and yet, deal with it we must, because we will be harassed. we will have headass CEOs saying headass CEO stuff. we will have politicians trying to legislate our right to exist away.

this is a lot to say that i don't regret anything about transitioning or whatever. i love being trans. it's a beautiful experience and i am much better for it, and am wholeheartedly glad to be trans, glad to know the trans people i know, and glad to love as i love. it is, truly, the neverending transmisogyny that is the problem, and it is truly exhausting having to deal with the transphobia and transmisogyny. nowhere is free from it except for the small insular exclusive spaces we carve out for ourselves.

take care of each other. love the transfemmes and transmascs in your life unabashedly, because there's functionally infinite amounts of hate we have to deal with at every corner, and aside from absolutely bodying the hate out of existence, the next best thing you can do to help is to support and love the trans people you know and treat them with compassion.

#transgender #t4t #transmisogyny discourse tag #i guess #hecate.txt #i should get back to writing poetry or weird memoir stuff again

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