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Tesla's Dieselgate
Elon Musk lies a lot. He lies about being a âutopian socialist.â He lies about being a âfree speech absolutist.â He lies about which companies he founded:
https://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-cofounder-martin-eberhard-interview-history-elon-musk-ev-market-2023-2 He lies about being the âchief engineerâ of those companies:
https://www.quora.com/Was-Elon-Musk-the-actual-engineer-behind-SpaceX-and-Tesla
He lies about really stupid stuff, like claiming that comsats that share the same spectrum will deliver steady broadband speeds as they add more users who each get a narrower slice of that spectrum:
https://www.eff.org/wp/case-fiber-home-today-why-fiber-superior-medium-21st-century-broadband
The fundamental laws of physics donât care about this bullshit, but people do. The comsat lie convinced a bunch of people that pulling fiber to all our homes is literally impossibleâââas though the electrical and phone lines that come to our homes now were installed by an ancient, lost civilization. Pulling new cabling isnât a mysterious art, like embalming pharaohs. We do it all the time. One of the poorest places in America installed universal fiber with a mule named âOle Bubâ:
https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-one-traffic-light-town-with-some-of-the-fastest-internet-in-the-us
Previous tech barons had âreality distortion fields,â but Musk just blithely contradicts himself and pretends he isnât doing so, like a budget Steve Jobs. Thereâs an entire site devoted to cataloging Muskâs public lies:
https://elonmusk.today/
But while Musk lacks the charm of earlier Silicon Valley grifters, heâs much better than they ever were at running a long con. For years, heâs been promising âfull self drivingâŠnext year.â
https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money
Heâs hasnât delivered, but he keeps claiming he has, making Teslas some of the deadliest cars on the road:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/
Tesla is a giant shell-game masquerading as a car company. The important thing about Tesla isnât its cars, itâs Teslaâs business arrangement, the Tesla-Financial Complex:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/24/no-puedo-pagar-no-pagara/#Rat
Once you start unpacking Teslaâs balance sheets, you start to realize how much the company depends on government subsidies and tax-breaks, combined with selling carbon credits that make huge, planet-destroying SUVs possible, under the pretense that this is somehow good for the environment:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/14/for-sale-green-indulgences/#killer-analogy
But even with all those financial shenanigans, Teslaâs got an absurdly high valuation, soaring at times to 1600x its profitability:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/15/hoover-calling/#intangibles
That valuation represents a bet on Teslaâs ability to extract ever-higher rents from its customers. Take Teslaâs batteries: you pay for the battery when you buy your car, but you donât own that battery. You have to rent the right to use its full capacity, with Tesla reserving the right to reduce how far you go on a charge based on your willingness to pay:
https://memex.craphound.com/2017/09/10/teslas-demon-haunted-cars-in-irmas-path-get-a-temporary-battery-life-boost/
Thatâs just one of the many rent-a-features that Tesla drivers have to shell out for. You donât own your car at all: when you sell it as a used vehicle, Tesla strips out these features you paid for and makes the next driver pay again, reducing the value of your used car and transfering it to Teslaâs shareholders:
https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/6/21127243/tesla-model-s-autopilot-disabled-remotely-used-car-update
To maintain this rent-extraction racket, Tesla uses DRM that makes it a felony to alter your own carâs software without Teslaâs permission. This is the root of all autoenshittification:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
This is technofeudalism. Whereas capitalists seek profits (income from selling things), feudalists seek rents (income from owning the things other people use). If Telsa were a capitalist enterprise, then entrepreneurs could enter the market and sell mods that let you unlock the functionality in your own car:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/11/1-in-3/#boost-50
But because Tesla is a feudal enterprise, capitalists must first secure permission from the fief, Elon Musk, who decides which companies are allowed to compete with him, and how.
Once a company owns the right to decide which software you can run, thereâs no limit to the ways it can extract rent from you. Blocking you from changing your deviceâs software lets a company run overt scams on you. For example, they can block you from getting your car independently repaired with third-party parts.
But they can also screw you in sneaky ways. Once a device has DRM on it, Section 1201 of the DMCA makes it a felony to bypass that DRM, even for legitimate purposes. That means that your DRM-locked device can spy on you, and because no one is allowed to explore how that surveillance works, the manufacturer can be incredibly sloppy with all the personal info they gather:
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/29/tesla-model-3-keeps-data-like-crash-videos-location-phone-contacts.html
All kinds of hidden anti-features can lurk in your DRM-locked car, protected from discovery, analysis and criticism by the illegality of bypassing the DRM. For example, Teslas have a hidden feature that lets them lock out their owners and summon a repo man to drive them away if you have a dispute about a late payment:
https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/
DRM is a gun on the mantlepiece in Act I, and by Act III, it goes off, revealing some kind of ugly and often dangerous scam. Remember Dieselgate? Volkswagen created a line of demon-haunted cars: if they thought they were being scrutinized (by regulators measuring their emissions), they switched into a mode that traded performance for low emissions. But when they believed themselves to be unobserved, they reversed this, emitting deadly levels of NOX but delivering superior mileage.
The conversion of the VW diesel fleet into mobile gas-chambers wouldnât have been possible without DRM. DRM adds a layer of serious criminal jeopardy to anyone attempting to reverse-engineer and study any device, from a phone to a car. DRM let Apple claim to be a champion of its usersâ privacy even as it spied on them from asshole to appetite:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
Now, Tesla is having its own Dieselgate scandal. A stunning investigation by Steve Stecklow and Norihiko Shirouzu for Reuters reveals how Tesla was able to create its own demon-haunted car, which systematically deceived drivers about its driving range, and the increasingly desperate measures the company turned to as customers discovered the ruse:
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/tesla-batteries-range/
The root of the deception is very simple: Tesla mis-sells its cars by falsely claiming ranges that those cars canât attain. Every person who ever bought a Tesla was defrauded.
But this fraud would be easy to detect. If you bought a Tesla rated for 353 miles on a charge, but the dashboard range predictor told you that your fully charged car could only go 150 miles, youâd immediately figure something was up. So your Telsa tells another lie: the range predictor tells you that you can go 353 miles.
But again, if the car continued to tell you it has 203 miles of range when it was about to run out of charge, youâd figure something was up pretty quickâââlike, the first time your car ran out of battery while the dashboard cheerily informed you that you had 203 miles of range left.
So Teslas tell a third lie: when the battery charge reached about 50%, the fake range is replaced with the real one. That way, drivers arenât getting mass-stranded by the roadside, and the scam can continue.
But thereâs a new problem: drivers whose cars are rated for 353 miles but canât go anything like that far on a full charge naturally assume that something is wrong with their cars, so they start calling Tesla service and asking to have the car checked over.
This creates a problem for Tesla: those service calls can cost the company $1,000, and of course, thereâs nothing wrong with the car. Itâs performing exactly as designed. So Tesla created its boldest fraud yet: a boiler-room full of anti-salespeople charged with convincing people that their cars werenât broken.
This new unitâââthe âdiversion teamââââwas headquartered in a Nevada satellite office, which was equipped with a metal xylophone that would be rung in triumph every time a Tesla owner was successfully conned into thinking that their car wasnât defrauding them.
When a Tesla owner called this boiler room, the diverter would run remote diagnostics on their car, then pronounce it fine, and chide the driver for having energy-hungry driving habits (shades of Steve Jobsâs âYouâre holding it wrongâ):
https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/
The drivers who called the Diversion Team werenât just lied to, they were also punished. The Tesla app was silently altered so that anyone who filed a complaint about their carâs range was no longer able to book a service appointment for any reason. If their car malfunctioned, theyâd have to request a callback, which could take several days.
Meanwhile, the diverters on the diversion team were instructed not to inform drivers if the remote diagnostics they performed detected any other defects in the cars.
The diversion team had a 750 complaint/week quota: to juke this stat, diverters would close the case for any driver who failed to answer the phone when they were eventually called back. The center received 2,000+ calls every week. Diverters were ordered to keep calls to five minutes or less.
Eventually, diverters were ordered to cease performing any remote diagnostics on driversâ cars: a source told Reuters that âThousands of customers were told there is nothing wrong with their carâ without any diagnostics being performed.
Predicting EV range is an inexact science as many factors can affect battery life, notably whether a journey is uphill or downhill. Every EV automaker has to come up with a figure that represents some kind of best guess under a mix of conditions. But while other manufacturers err on the side of caution, Tesla has the most inaccurate mileage estimates in the industry, double the industry average.
Other countriesâ regulators have taken note. In Korea, Tesla was fined millions and Elon Musk was personally required to state that he had deceived Tesla buyers. The Korean regulator found that the true range of Teslas under normal winter conditions was less than half of the claimed range.
Now, many companies have been run by malignant narcissists who lied compulsivelyâââthink of Thomas Edison, archnemesis of Nikola Tesla himself. The difference here isnât merely that Musk is a deeply unfit monster of a human beingâââbut rather, that DRM allows him to defraud his customers behind a state-enforced opaque veil. The digital computers at the heart of a Tesla arenât just demons haunting the car, changing its performance based on whether it believes it is being observedâââthey also allow Musk to invoke the power of the US government to felonize anyone who tries to peer into the black box where he commits his frauds.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world
This Sunday (July 30) at 1530h, Iâm appearing on a panel at Midsummer Scream in Long Beach, CA, to discuss the wonderful, award-winning âGhost Postâ Haunted Mansion project I worked on for Disney Imagineering.
Image ID [A scene out of an 11th century tome on demon-summoning called 'Compendium rarissimum totius Artis Magicae sistematisatae per celeberrimos Artis hujus Magistros. Anno 1057. Noli me tangere.' It depicts a demon tormenting two unlucky would-be demon-summoners who have dug up a grave in a graveyard. One summoner is held aloft by his hair, screaming; the other screams from inside the grave he is digging up. The scene has been altered to remove the demon's prominent, urinating penis, to add in a Tesla supercharger, and a red Tesla Model S nosing into the scene.]
Image: Steve Jurvetson (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tesla_Model_S_Indoors.jpg
CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#steve stecklow#autoenshittification#norihiko shirouzu#reuters#you're holding it wrong#r2r#right to repair#range rage#range anxiety#grifters#demon-haunted world#drm#tpms#1201#dmca 1201#tesla#evs#electric vehicles#ftc act section 5#unfair and deceptive practices#automotive#enshittification#elon musk
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lee from the tea shop boutta get it (wip) [id in alt]
edit: completed illustration here
#zuko#zukka#i wanted this to be a guiding hand#encouraging or like he's surprised it's happening but holding sokka's hand comfortingly#but something about the expression and the mouth makes it seem like he doesn't want it or he's afraid#i don't know i'll workshop this#mywips#i also havent read any ba sing se zukka fics but i do wonder how they'd work#like i totally buy that zuko was SO tunnel visioned to the avatar that he literally wouldn't know what sokka looks like#but i don't know how Sokka couldn't Not know who he is#unless maybe they met as blue spirit vigilante and sokka falls for him and this is the unveiling moment and zuko's afraid of his past#but sokka's like it's okay you're changing you've helped people as the blue spirit and i care about you. those feelings are real#even now#and zuko almost decides to change for the better right then but he gets scared and turns back and canon happens idk#mistaking his father's approval for love and his love for sokka as wrong#whatever. idc. something something i just wanted to draw short haired zuko
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M*A*S*H is a really good show. It's a shame all the men have blue eyes but what are you gonna do
#after Trapper leaves almost the entire main cast has either grey or blue eyes :( sad#the fanwiki says bj has hazel eyes but that is. patently wrong#god bless you Klinger and your big beautiful brown eyes. you're holding down the fort.#mash#m*a*s*h#mashblr#misc tag#text#mine
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it's iliad with one L and odyssey with one D btw. this is difficult to remember because multiple Ls were taken in the iliad and there's definitely more than one D present in the odyssey so i do understand the confusion
#look i remembered to crosspost from twitter for once#instead of just i trip over while holding a bucket of posts and they fall where they fall#rookposting#iliad#odyssey#tagamemnon#this doesnt matter btw. like it matters to me. in my head#but if you spell it wrong everyone still knows what you're talking about. so like whatever#but also every time i see illiad im like (sighs)
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kacchan there is actually a way you and izuku can be together forever i have this crazy inventive solution for you it's called a marriage license
#trust me look it up it's real#it's easy it's not free but it's worth it trust me nothing can go wrong this plan is flawless#bakudeku#bkdk#manga spoilers#mha leaks#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#listen to me i know what you're thinking gabstar this is a shonen the only way two males can be inexplicably linked forever is a rivalry#how are we supposed to be together forever without constructing intricate rituals in order to be closer to each other than anyone else#i hear you i understand you i get you#JUST MARRY HIM ITS 2024 YOU DONT HAVE TO PLAY CHICKEN WITH YOUR FEELINGS I PROMISE ITS OKAY#hori listen to me the next chapters can just be a bkdk shoujou BL we are all seated we are here we are ready#no one is gonna complain if we're just in bakudeku making heart eyes at each other land and slowly repairing their friendship#while kacchan tries his best to convince izuku that he loves him through his actions but inevitably has to use his words to be like#LISTEN NERD I LOVE YOU CAPITAL L CAPITAL O CAPITAL V AND FUCKING E LOVE YOU GOT IT#and izuku s like did i die did shiggy kill me am i in heaven#and kacchans like FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND
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since i already drew little ghost a while back but no other characters from hk as little guys you can use as signature/blog/page decoration, i made 3 others and a new ghost as well
bonus under cut
wadiance!
#hollow knight#the hollow knight#hornet#little ghost#the radiance#if you put ghost and the radiance next to each other they're fighting each other#the radi beneath the cut was the first one i did when i started this#you guys know that i don't really stop myself from posting already finished things even if i'm not completely satisfied with them#there's nothing objectively wrong with her my standards i hold myself to are just high#she's still just a little cute guy#anyway i hope you're doing good#fr resources
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A werewolf knight promised a bride in return for his unflinching loyalty and unmatched battle prowess.
His Jarl thinks the most beautiful, talented, and wellbred Lady of the island will suit nicely as his gift.
But the wolf has already made his choice -- he'd made it long before he ever went to war. Everything he did, every terrible, horrible, deadly thing, he did it for her.
And since he was promised a bride, well. Who can stop him? It's his due, after all.
#who holds his leash? certainly not the laird and certainly not this wench they're trying to foist upon him#he's GOING to kick up a fuss and start biting people if he doesn't get his way#Viking style etiquette but it takes place in the same universe as Dr. Pragma and Kelsi and Ettienne and Mason#which is gaslamp Victorian and modern cityscape prospectively#anything is possible <3#jk they're all modern but with elements of their respective romance timescapes for spice <3#anyway. this poor little bakers daughter.#she doesn't even know. she's like 'oh I'm so SORRY you have to be married to a peniless nobody like me. i promise I'll fix it and you can#be married to someone you actually like đ„ș' and he just lets her keep thinking that because it makes her easier to manipulate and less liable#to flinch when he gets a bit. handsy. with her. becuase obv he wouldn't come on to someone he doesn't even like!#but then she brings up the concept of annulment ('well have to sleep in seperate beds of course. we can't let them get the wrong idea') and#the gig is up. he's like no we WILL be fucking. you're mine.#and then she tries to run (doesn't know about chase-instinct)
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HE HAS CLOSED EYES!đ
#good omens#gos2#season 2#photos#promo photos#show promo photos#hq photos#crowley#crowley's eyes#david tennant#aww#crowley you're holding the box wrong#2ep6#2i6i6
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I finally watched the Togachako episode and just-
"I want to touch you. I want to touch the sadness inside of you."
That fucking line. That whole episode. I sobbed. "The cutest in the whole world." And the floating. Togachako floating together and holding each other in the air. The FOREHEAD TOUCH? Ochako's quirk awakening! The voice acting! Jesus Christ. I don't know what the general consensus is, but I loved this episode.
#I cried like a little baby#I love these two so much#I fell in love with togachako reading the manga#but seeing it animated?#these two are absorbed into my soul now#no words for how much I love them#to find love and kindness and understanding#to have that one beautiful moment in the sky#to hold each other and love each other#after all the suffering#despite the world telling you it's wrong and you're wrong and this is wrong#one beautiful moment in the sky#I'm crying again#togachako#mha season 7#mha s7 ep20#mha#bnha#ochako uraraka#himiko toga
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#dbtag#silly hours#god#I feel like that's a really clear and consistent thing throughout the entirety of the manga but OTL leave it to Toei!!!!#lays on the floor I wish people were less afraid of letting âgood guysâ be flawed and selfish and reckless without having to like.#idk vilify them?#like Goku does and always has had a ton of negative qualities about him but what keeps him a protag and what keeps those negatives charming#is that 1) he never promises to be anything Else. If you're upset by his behavior that's a you problem Goku's just doing Goku#He's only upset when Other People get hurt because 2) almost none of those negative qualities contain any malice whatsoever#even as a kid when he was 'i killed that guy' it was like 'i solved a problem why are you mad (gen)' not 'good fucking riddance lol'#and he kept that as an adult too even when he learned more about compassion he's still 'well if you're not gonna stop i have to kill you'#it's never 'fuck off and die' it's always 'listen buddy either you knock it off or i knock you out there is no option c '#and god i love that Goku. I spent so long thinking I hated Goku growing up but I only hated Toei's Goku. Toriyama's Goku is GREAT.#like look if an antagonist is just a hero with the wrong perspective a hero is just a villain with the right one#and the fact that Goku has all of the qualities of a villain with none of the malice or intention makes him SO POWERFUL as a character#Goku doesn't like bystanders getting hurt. That doesn't make him less chaotic and self-centered and simplistic in his worldview.#A hero sacrifices his loved ones to save the world -- a villain sacrifices the world to save his loved ones --#Goku sacrifices himself because you cannot kill him in any way that matters#idskahds anyway here's another essay in the tags for your wednesday evening scroll#the justification the interviewer gave was that the anime was for kids but my beef with that is that Hero Tropes strip chaotic characters#of their emotions. Goku's conflicts are emotional. Goku's power is emotional. Goku's childlikeness keep him authentically emotional.#MORE kids -- ESPECIALLY little boys -- deserve a male protagonist who leans into his emotions to persevere and win.#Super deciding his âangelic stateâ would kill him makes me want to tear my hair out lmao Goku's EMOTIONS are too strong to hold it.#you could've just asked toriyama about it why'd you decide on the most basic high-stakes shorthand possible OTL#aNYWAY#media analysis#in the tags at least lol
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Me: BRO. Can you imagine if Luffy activated Gear 5 2 years earlier at Marineford
AO3: Hey boo I gotchu
Me: AY-YO????
#One Piece#SO GLAD I'm not the only one who got this idea holy shit#Apparently Gear 5 Marineford is a Thing that is actually relatively popular#LOVE that for him tbh. And Ace. Bc he saves Ace with it lmao#Extra angst with Luffy actually dying first before his devil fruit slaps him back to life is also quite brilliant#Luffy's devil fruit squeezing his heart like a squeaky toy: NOT TODAY BITCH#His entire crew suddenly gets a sixth sense and they KNOW#They KNOW something is wrong and that Luffy. Something happened to their captain#But before they can mourn for too long they hear it. The DRUMS BABYYYYYYY#Normally they'd all be too far to hear them but they can :) And everyone around them is like. Uhh#The Strawhats: I can hear them. The drums#Everyone else: ??? What are you talking about are you losing it. You're probably losing it#I need to hold myself back from reading all these fics bc I actually. Gotta finish Marineford first LOL#Don't wanna spoil myself TOO much#Shima speaks
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You know what's interesting to me? For all people keep claiming at every juncture that perhaps Bells Hells will come around on the gods and see the harm they do (which, as discussed extensively, is, half the time, simply not intervening) not only have they never done so, but also they never quite cross the line into saying the party should join the Ruby Vanguard or aid them - and indeed, they defend against it - so what does this achieve? It feels like they're asking for a story in which the party stands idly by, which isn't much of a story nor, if I may connect this briefly to the real world, a political stance anyone should be proud of.
That's honestly the frustration with the gods and the "what if the Vanguard has a point" conversations in-game. What do we do then? Do we allow the organization that will murder anyone for pretty much any reason that loosely ties into their goals run rampant? The group that (perhaps unwittingly, but then again, Otohan's blades had that poison) disrupted magic world-wide, and caused people who had the misfortune to live at nexus points to be teleported (most, as commoners, without means of return). While also fomenting worldwide unrest?
Those were the arguments before the trip to Ruidus; with the reveal of the Vanguard's goals to invade Exandria, the situation becomes even more dire. Do you let the Imperium take over the planet?
And do the arguments against the gods even hold up? If Ludinus is so angry at them for the Calamity, what does it say that he destroyed Western Wildemount's first post-Calamity society for entirely selfish means? (What does it say about the validity of vengeance as a motivator?) What does it say that Laudna told Imogen she could always just live in a cottage quietly without issue before the solstice even happened? (Would this still be true if the Imperium controls the world?) What does it say that when faced with a furious, grieving party and the daughter she keeps telling herself was her reason for all of this, Liliana can't provide an answer to the question of what the gods have done other than that their followers will retaliate...for, you know, the Vanguard's endless list of murders. (That is how the Vanguard and Imperium tend to think, huh? "How dare your face get in the way of my boot; how dare you hit me back when I strike you.") She can't even provide a positive answer - why is Predathos better - other than "I feel it", even though Imogen and Fearne know firsthand that Predathos can provide artificial feelings of elation. Given all the harm Ludinus has done in pursuit, why isn't the conclusion "the gods should have crashed Aeor in such a way that the tech was unrecoverable?"
Even as early as the first real discussion on what the party should do, the fandom always stopped short of saying "no, Imogen's right, they should join up with the people who killed half the party," it was always "no, she didn't really mean it, she just was trying to connect with her mother." Well, she's connected with her mother, and at this point the party doesn't even care about the gods particularly (their only divinely-connected party member having died to prevent the Vanguard from killing all of them). So they will stop the Vanguard; as Ashton says, the means are unforgiveable. As Laudna says, it's not safe to bet on Predathos's apathy. As Imogen says, she's done running; the voice that she used to think of as a lifeline belongs to someone she doesn't trust. So I guess my question is: if they're stopping the people who are trying to kill the gods (and defense of the gods isn't remotely their personal motivation)...do you think the next phase of the campaign is Bells Hells personally killing the gods? Reconstructing the Aeor tech and hoping none of their allies notice? How does this end? Does your ideology ever get enacted? Or is this entirely moot and pointless and the story ends with Bells Hells saying "well, I'm really glad we stopped the people who [insert list of Vanguard atrocities from above]; none of us follow the gods or plan to, but honestly, the status quo we return to is preferable to whatever nightmare Ludinus had concocted in his violent quest for power and revenge"?
#i've got a lot to do today so I think I'm done posting but#cr spoilers#i called that this particular cohort of fans had empathy only for those like them and were terrified of player agency like. 18 mos ago#and i have never been proven wrong. zero analysis just a constant demand that everyone coddle their feelings and confirm their biases#literally will straight up fabricate lore and cry you're disrespecting a pretend person for not including it in your considerations#absolutely SHIT understanding of actual lore. utter incapacity to follow a logical throughline to its conclusion#it's like. wow. wonder why you're so focused on hypocrisy and you overreact to the word selfish#the reason they hate or fear orym (they say they don't...but that just means they want him to go to a reeducation camp instead of die)#is bc i think they are truly terrified of the idea that people can not just hold opinions that are against theirs but stand fast by them#easier to stan the villain because then they die and you can feel wronged and betrayed and wallow in a sense of continual victimhood#than to like a character who might last long enough to call you the idiot and asshole that you are#but it's also funny bc literally if orym weren't there in the latest convo the conclusion is the same.#ashton's had the same opinion of the vanguard the whole time (and it's not positive) but that's not under scrutiny#probably bc it doesn't allow people to be ghoulish in the most cringeworthy way possible
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with most shakespeare plays i have the ability to logically recognize that other people have opinions and my opinion is not necessarily the ârightâ one because there is no ârightâ take because these plays are very very old and very very multifacted and performance adds an entirely different dimension of analysis. with romeo and juliet i turn into this guy
#HOLD ON. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. YOUâRE--***HOLD ON.*** THEIR FIRST CONVERSATION WAS A SONNET BRO#YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? SHE WAS FULLY FUCKING DEAD IN THAT TOMB HE COULDN'T HAVE CHECKED. GROW UP.#GROW UP!#max.txt#TO BE CLEAR. THIS IS A JOKE POST. THIS IS A JOKE POST. THIS IS A JOKE POST.
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a conversation that totally happened between Cassian and Devlon
*Cassian and Nesta walk into camp* Devlon: Hold on, hold on, hold on HOLD ON! Cassian: What? Nesta: *stares* Devlon: *points at Nesta* Devlon: her sister was a witch, right? Cassian: No, uh she is your High Lady-- Devlon: and what was HeR SisTeR? a PRINCESS? Cassian: not really, wait whose sister are we talking about here? Nesta: *still staring expressionlessly* Devlon: she's thewickedwitchoftheEASTbro *points at Nesta* Cassian: no? Devlon: *spreads wings and puffs up chest* Devlon: YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG!?? Cassian: AM I WRONG?!?!?! Cassian: *spreads his wings and puffs up his chest in return* Nesta: *slowly starts to smirk* Devlon: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE DAWG Cassian: WhaT aRe YoU ON rIGHT nOW? Nesta: *waves at Devlon* Devlon: GROW UP BRUH, GROW UP! *Devlon storms off* *Cassian stares after him, riddled with confusion* Cassian: What just happened? Nesta: I think he thinks I'm a witch?
#acotar#incorrect acotar quotes#incorrect quotes#hold on bro#nesta#nesta archeron#nesta acotar#cassian#cassian acotar#nessian#incorect quote#acotar memes#YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG#if you know you know#Lindsey's House of Chaos
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#David Tennant#Alec Hardy#Ellie Miller#Broadchurch#my gifs#Yes they're talking about something extremely serious.#But can you see soft way his eyes tenderly trace her eyes and just rest on her face like it's the best thing he could look at?#He spends so long just looking at her -- and she is so mindful of his comfort level and RARELY looks back when he's looking at her.#If he's looking at her she's always looking ahead or down or away.#Except if she needs to hold his gaze to get a message across. Like go make some tea. Or if they're both worried.#This reminds me -- she is so naturally instinctively understanding of him#We rarely hear her addressing him by name after the rant that falls out of him when he has dinner at her place in S1.#She gets that simply looking at someone while you're talking to them is enough. And you don't need to tack on their name on top of that.#Which astounded me actually! I wondered if Chris Chibnall had spent some time around an autistic person!#Because I feel EXACTLY like Alec does abt names! I hate names. I hate using them. It's so unnecessary.#I'm not as outspoken as him though so I use them when I can't get out of it. But I hate it and I hate ppl using my name.#That scene was ASTOUNDING I'm telling you -- it took my breath away to find my very specific struggle onscreen!#Anyway. Yeah. She doesn't bug him or insist even though to her it's second nature.#I bet you she's very good at coming up with pet names -- another thing my autistic brain shrieks at and sth I suspect Alec finds impossible#Oh Ellie -- beautiful beautiful adorable strong wronged Ellie!#Wronged by everyone except him <3#Well and a few others -- Mark was kind to her despite his pain. Brian never treated her badly that we know of.#I will always love them for that.#I wish Jack had survived -- I think he would've been kind too. Maybe she would've hidden in his store when it got too much.
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Ladies and gentlemen, I've had an EPIPHANY âš
If you cross Carl
with Dor-15
You get the aliens from Chicken Little
that is all.
#HOLD ON HOLD ON#HOLD ON#HER SISTER WAS A WITCH#RIGHT#AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER#A PRINCESS#THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO#YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG#AM I WRONG#SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE DOUG#meet the robinsons#mtr#disney#carl the robot#carl meet the robinsons#doris the robot#dor-15#doris meet the robinsons#chicken little#aliens#robots
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