#you're failing so badly.
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rjalker · 1 year ago
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might just start calling things "unfashionably pentagonal". to express what emotion? IDK. failing to understand the deepest premise of a story maybe.
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who-is-page · 1 month ago
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I'm in the hamburger mines of capitalism and found out that my job is planning to try and outsource my position to remote randos across the country and I'm like. CEO-boy do you have any idea how many regulations I have to take into account not just on a state-level but also on a county and municipality level. None of which is information included in the training.
This isn't even a case where someone would fuck it up just cuz it's complex to get right, this is a case where someone wouldn't even know what they don't know. And it's a lot of information to not know they don't know, because these poor remote guys are going to be covering a bunch of states with finicky and ultra-specific building codes, not even just my own!
Anyways wish my store a very Rest in Piss when this comes back to extremely bite them in the ass, because it's gonna be funny as fuck.
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addicted2coke-theothercoke · 4 months ago
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I can't sleep so I'm talking about umbrella academy again
It's occurred to me what the worst part thing about season three is. And it's not Allison, or the fact that she raped Luther, the worst part is what happens after
NOTHING
Nothing freaking happens. They never address it
LUTHER INVITES HER TO HIS FREAKING WEDDING
DAYS. LATER.
I can live with characters doing horrible things for plot reasons if I must, but the fact that it never comes up again and never even gets mentioned, Luther never even tells anyone and Allison gets away with that, IT'S JUST DUMB
This actually gives me the chance to talk about a much better show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Late in btvs, I can't remember the exact season, Spike attempts to rape Buffy
And it's a big deal, holding semi-large repercussions, changing the way some characters see each other, and the way they behave, and resulting in massive character growth eventually
So yeah, tldr, the most annoying part about s3 of The Umbrella Academy is that it fails to address anything important, and btvs is a good show
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el3ctraaa · 8 months ago
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My roommate and I just had this two hour long convo about how everyone else makes it look easy and how we just keep falling behind and are killing ourselves just to catch up and now I feel so much better because I thought I was the only one. I have nothing to say about it I just thought y'all should know.
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babsbabbles · 1 month ago
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sometimes I wanna talk about big theological things here. then I remember where I am and close the post we
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evilkitten3 · 8 months ago
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i have a lot of thoughts on fandoms and treatment of female characters but i do not seem to have the words to put said thoughts into. frustrating.
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aeide-thea · 1 year ago
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sometimes it really is just like. is this all there is. feeling oversensitive & undersocialized—too sensitive to socialize—forever, bc you never got enough ~affirmation~ growing up (poor, pathetic baby; how long will you persist in singing the same self-pitying song…), & so never developed the proper emotional cushioning against the heartache & the thousand natural shocks, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c…
#like—you can't get close to people if you're too raw to bear the inevitable grit of misunderstandings and small incompatibilities#we all fail one another. sometimes in a myriad of small ways‚ sometimes in big ones—#sometimes you and people you care about are simultaneously failing each other on separate but parallel tracks#and ultimately you have to be able to bear that and keep reaching out to people anyway‚ as you hope they will to you#and i just. i need so badly for something—someone—to be new and good and an easy fit‚ because i haven't got trying in me#but also frankly i wouldn't trust anything like that if it appeared to me‚ at this point#molly grue voice how dare you come to me now &c#i'm a fussy person whose capacity for delight has drained away#and i think it's SO important to be kind and yet still so often i don't manage it#despite biting my tongue SO often that it hurts‚ which has taught me to feel there's nothing acceptable abt my own reactions#and i never MEAN to be pompous or dickish or whatever but caring about precision and conscientiousness and whatnot isn't in fashion#so i'm pretty sure that's how i come off to most people#and there's no prospect of anything changing and it's just like. sometimes in the night i think. well. i'm basically already dead then.#like. the last‚ i don't know‚ almost-decade at this point has been a slow painful process of sinking ever deeper into exile#stripping away various social positionalities and connections in trade for—nothing.#alien nation.#all the norms are shit but outside them—what is there.#anyway.#feelingsblogging
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hajihiko · 2 years ago
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you read homestuck?? u seem like the type to have Opinions on dirk and/or dave /lh
Dirk was done fucking dirty by the narrative post-epilogue and I'm never gonna stop being angry about it
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trentcrimminallybeautiful · 2 years ago
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sometimes when im bored i imagine various ted lasso characters on taskmaster and that cheers me up
#i imagine for one of the new years specials or a charity thing or something#so many golden opportunities. trent would be so fucking funny#whatever cool steady reputation he had is gone thoroughly imploded#[mulan meme] now all of england knows you're a dork#hard to seem cool and collected when everyone's seen you do a team task with ted lasso and utterly fail#but (covered in mud and hair a mess) ridiculously crumble into giggles at the end#(depending on the team task they'd either do extremely well or extremely badly lmao)#and tedependent brain aside also just like. literally any of the characters#except beard he'd be too good at it he'd inexplicably do it all and face the taskmaster down with no facial expression change at all /j#but like. roy. GOLDEN#dani? BEAUTIFUL. completely immune to cutting commentary. even greg daivies is charmed.#JAMIE? FUCKING JAMIE? CAN YOU IMAGINE?#jan maas. beautiful.#BUMBERCATCH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#THERE'S SO MANY GOOD FUCKING OPTIONS#and i need the 'everyone tied their dicks together' thing to come up. please#hang on wait also now i had the cursed thought of someone comparing led tasso to The Taskmaster but that makes beard alex horne which is#the worst thought i've ever had#or would that be boach ceard?#oh my god fucking. rebecca. can you imagine rebecca on taskmaster. i think someone would die#there are just endless good options here#ted in general outside of the ted/trent context too my god it'd be so good#it's all so funny i love this thought exercise#ted lasso#ted lasso tv
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mossflower · 5 months ago
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who up ignoring the crazy visions of them in la
#chappell roan save me. save meeeeee#i fear i forgot just how badly i wanted to get out of this house a year ago!!#like it's nothing big. it's just ten million little things and i don't fucking fit here. i love it so much but i don't fit#arguably i don't fit at uni either but that's different. i don't fit at uni because i'm socially anxious. i'll fit eventually#not fitting at home feels pervasive and bone deep. but it's fine#alot of it's the lesbianism. at uni i'm just a fail lesbian and it's normal#at home i'm a semi closeted fail lesbian and every time that's Percieved i want to die#like people don't care in the ways that matter. i'm not about to be hatecrimed kicked out etc#but ten million little things!! all the time!! i'm going to scream!!#i shouldn't let it get to me i did this for like four years. this is four months and i've done one already#but fucking christ jesus fuck i hate this!! i have to drive forty minutes to see my friends!! no wonder i never developed social skills!!#i have to hide my phone screen with ninety percent of the stuff i watch bc i can't be arsed having the piss taken out of me!!#whenever someone comes into my room my laptop is on it's homescreen!!#i don't feel comfortable listening to a lot of music out loud because it's embarrassing!!#i'm so scared of being judged all the time and i lived like this since i was eleven really!!#i love my parents but sometimes they say stuff and it's like holy shit!! you kind of suck!! and you're still my friends!!#sorry. normal again. who up feeling the void where their soul should be amirite
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thornshadowwolf · 1 year ago
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I love horror premises but as sitcom premises.
"I found out my reflection is sentient when I smiled at the mirror and it didn't smile back" -> guy who is TRYING to turn his life around but his reflection is just a CONSTANT DOWNER and can you PLEASE work with me here for once can you at least PRETEND to be happy.
Alternatively, "my reflection is sentient and takes pleasure in tormenting me" -> the exact same thing but it's played as humorous. Like instead of being dark and menacing the reflection is just a piece of shit asshole. Begrudgingly saves the protag but ONLY cuz if you die I die because really it was so funny watching you get chased by The Monster.
"My eye surgery didn't make me able to see visible light, but I can see heat signatures. Now I wonder why my best friend is room temperature" -> infrared vision guy and his roommate/friend who he just found out is a ghost/vampire/whatever and they get into shenanigans
"My parents threw me into the basement to try and appease The Creature with a food offering" -> but the creature doesn't eat people so we've just been chillin (maybe follow up with a "gotta pretend the offering worked so the parents are still scared and don't kill my new friend, and also they clearly didn't care abt me that much, so I just live here now")
"'Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,' I whispered into the mirror darkened by the lightless room. I knew it was just a legend, but, after 10 years of being locked down here alone, I was desperate to see another face." -> literally just have that work. Me and the bestie (Bloody Mary). Maybe she even helps you get out.
And we've all seen that post that turns the "I'm tucking my son into bed when he tells me, 'Daddy, check for monsters under my bed!' I look underneath for his amusement, and I see him — another him, under the bed — staring back at me, quivering and whispering, 'Daddy, there’s somebody on my bed.'' into "Well, I guess I have 2 kids now. *time skip* omg doppelganger children numbers 4 and 7 stop itttttt you KNOW I love both of you"
Also horror setting but the protag is anywhere between "unimpressed and over it" and "chipper with a sense of humor about it." Wholly unbothered. Maybe mildly annoyed.
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cozypups · 1 year ago
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i forgot to say this but i made an appointment with another therapist, hopefully one that'll hold me down like I'm a rabid animal and tell me I'm valid
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geekate · 2 months ago
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I'm so dumb hell yeah
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tomato-puppy · 8 months ago
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one of the weird aspects of my loneliness and attempts to date is that a VERY high percentage of people i find attractive on dating apps have "t4t" in their bio. idk what this says about me or where my attraction lies. but that's not the point.
I'm used to that feeling of not being "an option" to certain people, like knowing that a woman i find interesting/attractive wouldn't even consider dating me because she wants a man who has a higher education or someone who works out at the gym. I'm used to not being attractive enough, wealthy enough, smart enough... to have a chance. but since i realized i was queer, a new factor of exclusion now applies to me, something I have never even thought about before.
being cis makes me unwanted to certain people. it's not even a "not ... enough". it's something else entirely.
strange feeling.
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adriagan · 7 months ago
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i NEED you to remember this: you are allowed to be angry at your doctors. you are allowed to be furious. you are allowed to be mad at your nurses and technicians and neurologists and psychiatrists and medical assistants. they are not god. they are human beings and they work in a system that wears them raw, and that is unfair, but it isn't an excuse to treat you badly. i'm not necessarily saying you should throw a brick through the window of their car, but you can, should, must be angry with them for ignoring you, demeaning you, dehumanizing you, dismissing you, acting like you're lying, talking only about your weight, failing to acknowledge you past your symptoms, etc etc etc. you are an equal to your doctor. you are a human being and so are they. do not treat them as beyond reproach. you are allowed to be angry at your doctors.
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gojosprettyprincess · 2 months ago
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STUCK IN THE WASHING MACHINE TROPE WITH STEPBROTHER BAKUGOU!!!
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SMUT, Stepcest, dubcon in the beginning, Creampie, dumbification, anal play, he's aged up to 19, dirty talk, heavy degradation and Bakugou is really really mean cause he's Bakugou duh, slight daddy kink, some bad grammar bc it's not proofread. MINORS DNI!!!!
Word count - 2350
A/n - I have no idea how someone can possibly get stuck in a washing machine but just pretend you can😔🙏
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"Katsuki Katsuki! Holy fuck are you deaf or something?! I'm stuck!" you yelled at the top of your lungs as you tried your very best to wiggle yourself out from the washing machine opening. You can't even remember how you got yourself into this fucking mess, you were just trying to look and see if there were any more clothing pieces left behind because you've been noticing a few of your panties have gone missing the past few days and it kept getting worse and worse to the point where you barely have any left to wear, you assumed it's because you accidentally kept leaving them in the washing machine and now somehow your fucking stuck.
Heavy substantial footsteps were heard loudly outside the room before the wooden door went flying open, causing the doorknob to hit against the wall, causing a loud bang, "The fuck do you want, can't you see I'm tryna fucking play?" the annoyed blond growled at you.
"Shut up and get me the fuck out" You yelled annoyed, while kicking your legs back to get his attention.
"Woah some mess you got yourself into, sweetheart" he smirks slyly while analyzing the situation, staring down at your pretty ass poking out of the washing machine, barely even covered by those tight slutty shorts you always wore around the house that never failed to make his cock rock hard.
"Oh please, just shut up and get me out already", you kicked your feet back hoping that he was behind you so it would hit him. "I don't think that's how you speak to someone you're trying to get help from, princess".
You rolled your eyes at the annoying pet names he always calls you every fucking time but you've grown used to it by now but the constant teasing was so fucking annoying. "Listen are you going to help me or not?".
"That depends princess, are you gonna beg me to or not?" you wanted to punch him in the face so fucking badly, imagining the shit-eating grin he definitely has plastered on his face right now. "Your so fucking annoying! No way go to hell!" you yelled.
"Oh yeah? Is that so"
He chuckled as he bent down behind you, eyes fixated on the way the thin material hugged your ass cheeks so tightly and delicious, you're so vulnerable in this position, he could keep you there and pound your slutty little holes for hours and hours if he wants to—which is probably what he's gonna do anyways.
He pressed the pad of his thumb against your damped crotch, rubbing it slowly back and forth as he watched the way your body jolted unexpectedly.
"Wha-what are you doing! You sick fuck??" you screamed as you tried to wiggle your ass away from his hold. "Oh, come on princess, let's have some fun yeah? You might even like it" he teases before tugging down your tiny shorts, just to be greeted with your glistening dripping cunt. A string of your slick connects to the crotch of the shorts before snapping away as he pulls it down to your knee. He groaned as his eyes took in the delicious sight in front of him, "No panties? And your fucking dripping, you probably planned this out and did this purposely just so I can come and see you like this, dirty fucking slut" he lands a harsh slap on your right ass cheek as you closed your eyes in embarrassment when you realized you're basically fucking exposed to him.
"Go to fucking hell you perv" You snapped back at him, "Oh yeah? I'm the perv?, I'm not the one fucking soaked and dripping onto the floor sweetheart". He laughs mockingly.
His dick was painfully hard and eager, straining to be released from his sweatpants, what can a man do? It's not his fault his dumb little stepsister always runs around the house with those tight little booty shorts, ass almost fully exposed, basically begging to be pounded and now he has his chance so why not take it?
He pulls his sweatpants and underwear down, thick perfectly curved dick slaps against his abdomen as pre cum oozes out of the angry red tip, he grips his fist around it before pumping himself a few times while circling your clit with his thumb, "Pretty little cunt you got here princess, been hiding this from me this whole time?"
"S-stop it Katsuki, this is wrong! You're my stepbrother, we can't do this!" you whined, it's so fucking wrong and fucked up and you sure as hell knew that, you just can't help but feel your needy cunt throbbing and yearning for more, it's only natural right?
Before you could even process anything else you felt his angry tip lining up at your entrance, his thick cock head bullying and prying it's way into your weeping tight hole before he shoves it all the way in unexpectedly, knocking the wind out of you as you hissed at the sudden pain.
"Hahh fuckk- Katsuki slow down!" you moaned as he starts thrusting his hard cock in and out of you like it was his mission to bruise and mark up your silky walls with his tip, strong hands gripping onto your waist as he stretches out your poor cunt with his fat girth, splitting that pretty little cunny in half as it drips all over him. "Holy fuckk you're so fucking tight hah- shitt" he hisses as your pussy clenches around him snugly, tightest cunt he ever fucked for sure.
He started pounding you harder, gripping the oversized T-shirt you wore as he rammed himself in the tight warm space between your thighs.
"Stupid little slut, is this what you need to shut that annoying little mouth of yours, my dick pounding this little pussy?" he took a mental note to give you exactly what you wanted when you're acting up and being a little bitchy brat to him. "Sh-ut up katsu-" shit you couldn't even form proper words to even say his fucking name, "You're the fucking worse fuh-ckk" you moaned out of pleasure. You can't even lie his cock was the best you've ever had and it's only been minutes since he started fucking you so that surely says a lot, his tip was grazing against the right spots in your hole, it's like his dick knew all the parts in cunt that would make your eyes roll to the back of your head and he was stretching your stuffy cunt with his cock soo good, it turnt you into a moaning mess.
"Oh yeah I know my cock is good you little slut, Gonna fuck you so stupid with it, you won't ever think about another guy's dick other than your stepbrother's" he smirks as he lands a hard slap on your ripped ass, watching the way the thick flesh jiggles against him, bouncing back against his pelvis as he drills himself so fucking deep inside of you. You're his little glory hole, he can stuff you full and deep of his seed and use your tight pussy for hours and fuck you so dumb that you can't even think for the rest of the week if he wants to.
He circles his thumb over your neglected butthole, the puckered hole fluttering against the pad of his thumb as he notices the way your moans got sweeter and louder at the gesture. He won't be surprised if you're a slut for anal he snooped through your room a shit ton of times looking for your dirty cum-stained panties he uses to jerk off to, to know that you have several jeweled anal plugs hidden away in your drawer.
"Mmm want me to put it in baby?" he teases, adoring the way the pink ring flutters on his thumb, soo eager and hungry to be stuffed and played with, "Ye-yes pleasee!" you hiccupped, purposely winking your hole for him desperately as a form of inviting him. "Heh, how cute" he mumbled before gathering your slick from your clit to rub it on the tiny rim before slowly sinking it in little by little. He groaned as he felt your cunt throbbing around his cock as your hungry asshole swallows his thumb into the hilt.
Heavy balls slapping against your clit as your eyes roll back to the back of your head as if you were possessed or something- or maybe you were, possessed by his fucking cock hitting your favorite spots in your hole that had you seeing stars. His cock was so fucking good, mushroom tip kissing your cervix with every single one of his mean thrusts. "Fuck wish I could play with those pretty tits" he groans, head falling back as he moans, your cunt felt like fucking heaven, so warm and tight just for him.
"Kat-Katsuki m' so close" you moaned as you felt the familiar feeling in your stomach building up, "Yeah? That fast? My cock is that good huh?".
You let out a porn star-worthy moan when you felt his thick thumb sliding in and out of your tight bullied walls, matching the rough brutal pace of the pounding he was giving your poor pussy. He lifts up one of his legs and plants his feet flat on the floor so he can drill deeper into your cunt, "Fuckk yes daddy- don't stop fuck! Please don't stop" you cried out as you felt yourself approaching your release.
He chuckled mockingly, "Daddy huh? You're such a fucking dirty whore ya know that?" he slapped your ass so fucking hard that his handprint was definitely branded on your ass cheek, "Didn't know my dear little stepsis was such a cock-hungry slut, what'd ya think mom would say if she found out her innocent daughter was milking her stepbrother's cock and calling him daddy hm? Always knew you were a whore" he smirks as you whimpered and dripped to his mean words.
He pulled his thumb out of your butthole slowly and then groaned when he saw the delicious little gape he created. He brought his thumb up to his mouth before sucking it, gathering spit onto the finger then circling it around the gaped hole.
"Fuckk would you look at that, she's all prepped and ready for my cock, maybe after I'm done stuffing your cunt, I'll fill this one up too, bet you'll fucking like that", you felt his cock throbbing like crazy in your pussy as he imagined stuffing both of holes with his bitter cum and having you all plugged up n pretty with his seed deep in your asshole and the only thing keeping it in is the princess plug you have hidden away in your drawer- buried deep inside your ass.
You almost screamed when you felt him stabbing his cock into your cunt even harder, strong hands gripping your waist tightly to keep you still as he rams his hips against yours. The friction of his heavy balls slapping your clit made it feel even better as your cunt clenches around his cock, threatening to milk his balls into your pussy. You're not surprised that Bakugou was this good at fucking, after all, he was really fucking sexy and built, of course he had a lot of experience. You cried out when you felt his fingers rubbing harsh harsh circles on your clit, "Come on slut, need ya to cum on my cock, don't make me repeat myself" he grunts, head falling back when he feels your cunny squeezing around his cock soo much fucking tighter. You closed your eyes as you felt your orgasm approaching. His thrust was so fucking brutal, it's like he has some fucking personal problem and is taking it out on your poor cunt.
Before you could process anything else, you were gushing all over his pretty cock, warm liquid squirting all over his abs and pelvis and he continues pounding you through it, he lets out a slurpy moan while laughing, "Fuckk yeah that's it baby that's it, Gooddd girl" he thrusts got sloppier and sloppier when he felt his balls tightening. He didn't expect you to fucking squirt and make a mess all over him so it drove him fucking crazy.
You felt his cock twisting against your tight walls, assuming he was about to cum. Fuck, you felt so lifeless. The only thing holding you up was Katsuki's strong grip on your waist and the washing machine because you can't even think right now, your mind fully fucking clouded with his cock bullying your poor insides, splitting your sweet cunny apart. Fuck he's so mean, you shivered when you felt his fingers digging deep into your waist.
"Fuck m'gonna cum, gonna stuff this slutty cunt so full of my seed, it'll come right out your mouth bitch" he hisses before emptying his balls in your pussy, thick ropes of cum filling up your cumdump of a hole as you cried out when you felt his angry tip pushing the cum further and further into your cunny, making sure to stuff you full and not let any of it leak out or you'd have to lick it up.
He chuckles darkly when he hears you're out of breath whimpers. "Is this what you needed? A good little filling to shut that pretty mouth of yours? Because if it's dick you need to function properly you know where to find me baby" he chuckles, slowly pulling out his still-hard cock, being sooo careful that none of the cum drips out. He lines his tip up at the entrance of your butthole, smearing the cum onto the hole as it winks at him.
"Ready for the other filling?"
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