#if a comedian fails to get a laugh- then they are in a kind of double jeopardy. risk is risk.

[shitpostroundhouse]

[xoxochb]

Ok, could I PLEASE get a Leo x fem!reader fan fic where they're best friends but both want to be more (maybe they kiss...idk) ??? Pls, I'm desperate. There's not enough Leo fanfics and you're such a good writer.

— astronomy nerd

warnings: leo has W rizz 💯 (do people still say this?) pairing: leo valdez x fem! reader

“well anyways, there is no sound in space because there’s no atmosphere to carry the sound vibrations. It’s really cool if you think about it. are you thinking about it? whatever, did you know the sunsets on mars are blue? how cool is that?! and one million earths could fit in the sun, isn’t that awesome! just imagine that, the sun is huge, I mean seriously-”

your voice trails off forever, you had been talking non stop about miscellaneous outer space facts since leo had walked into your cabin and caught you reading a planet book. it’s not that he hated listening to you talk, gods no, he would listen to you talk for hours on end without a stop but in this particular moment he found himself distracted by the bright smile adorning your lips, he can’t seem to tear his eyes away. and with you being too busy caught up in your space talk you fail to realize leo hadn’t been listening

but you did, however, finally take notice when you ask him a question and he doesn’t respond, stuck in some kind of daze. you call out his name three times before snapping your fingers in front of his eyes, making them widen and his cheeks flush red

“you weren’t listening” you point out

“I’m sorry I- uhm, I’ll listen now. sorry”

you sigh. “what do you think about creating life on mars?”

creating…life? it doesn’t even take a second for leo’s brain to go from concentrating on your words to imagining creating life within you, forget fucking mars, when you’re older and leave camp preferably married with kids. with your good looks and his humor that’d be one hell of a child! he can’t suppress the widening grin, which you additionally notice

“you’re not listening again! what are you thinking about?”

“I think you should!”

your brows furrow at the late reply to your question. “okay… well I surely can’t. but the scientists at nasa know that mars has water so really if you think about it we need to bring seeds from earth to mars and we can build trees, y’know? then that will create oxygen— mars has a very thin atmosphere meaning you can’t breathe on it, but if you just put this huge tent around it the oxygen would start flowing and you’d be able to breathe. does that make sense?”

“what would the tent do if there’s no atmosphere on mars though?”

“I watched a movie about it once… but… you make a good point” you frown, realizing your information had gotten mixed. leo mirrors your expression when he realizes he had upset you. the aura of the room suddenly becomes very awkward

don’t say something stupid don’t say something stupid don’t say something stupid-

leo’s mouth fails him. “what does a star win in a competition?”

your lips twitching upwards was worth the idiotic joke he’s about to respond to

“a constellation prize”

“I have another! what type of music do planets sing?”

“what type?”

“nep-tunes!”

your laugh progresses. “where did you find these jokes?”

(the second he found out you liked astronomy and outer space he had researched like crazy so he could come up with the best jokes possible to impress you). he shrugs. “I made them myself”

“really?”

oh gods he hopes the blush on his face isn’t visible. “yeah…”

“you should be, like, a stand up comedian or something. you’re really good”

okay, yeah, he’s gonna put a ring on it the first chance he can get (your wedding has been elaborately planned already, he keeps the plans hidden underneath his mattress). with your smile as bright as the stars, eyes reflections of the moon, your hair cascading over your shoulders like the sunset over the evening sky, extremely captivating to the eyes of the silly son of hepheastus. he hoped he didn’t look like a lovesick puppy right now, staring at you like this, yet he’s surprised to find your gaze mirrors his. oh no

no no no. leo prays to ever god and goddess he’s aware of that you can’t visible see his cherry red cheeks or his smile of contentment

“do you think there’s more than one universe?” he blurts out

“of course. why?”

“because I think I’d love you all the same in every one regardless of our forms”

good gods of olympus your heart skips a beat or two. act casual

“even if I was a worm?”

“I’d build you a terrarium”

“If I was a star?”

“I’d place myself next to you”

you shouldn’t be tearing up at the thought of this but you can’t help the drops of salty water that fall from your eyes. “In every universe would you be staring at my lips instead of listening to what I’m saying?”

“if your lips always look this kissable, then yes”

oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods so this is really happening? this is real life? surely, truly?

“leo, can I-”

“please”

you suck in a breath and whisper, “I’ve never done this before”

“I haven’t either”

very slowly, almost like neither of you had moved at all, you lean in until your lips finally meet in the middle at last. not just the first kiss, because this surely was not going to be the last

[melancholymetropolis]

Exchange pt. II

plot: In which Gojo makes a late night phone call to his wife.

pairings: Clan Leader!Gojo Saturo x Lawyer!Reader

genre(s): Second Chance; Hurt with Comfort

warnings: unedited (mostly). This is the fluffiest fluff I have written in the while. TEASING. Gojo is a comedian. SWEARING. use of AAVE (y/n is black as hell. wears a bonnet and everything). longing. Argument (no name calling). RAISED VOICES. sad boi gojo. guilty reader. get ready for the feels.

song association: Don't by Bryson Tiller

a/n: ya girl has some good news!

w.c: 3.0k

part(s): Part I

Upon shutting off the apartment’s showerhead, I could hear my phone buzzing in the distance. I wrapped my towel around my body and took swift strides back to the bedroom. Lifting my glasses off my nightstand, I placed them on my face before picking up the device. Instead of it being a friend from overseas, not understanding the time difference, it was an idiot who understood it very well. 

Gojo: pssss

Gojo: wifey. . .

Gojo: are you up??????

Y/N: It’s almost midnight. What could you possibly want?

Several moments after the message was sent, the phone started to ring. 

Gojo was calling.

I rolled my eyes at the sentiment. Ever since our lunch several days before, the taller gentleman was borderline clingy. He texted me at any free moment of the day, asking me what I was doing and when I was free for our next hangout session. I’d always blow him off. Telling him I had a prior engagement with someone else. I would say that the bride needed me to help her with Honeymoon stuff or the Maid of Honor misplaced her work and I needed to help her look for it. I would use any and every excuse in order to avoid speaking to him for longer than I needed to. It was clear that Gojo intended to make up for lost time while I was in Japan. He took his proposal to hang out very seriously and wanted me to fulfill my end of the bargain. Part of me almost felt bad from blowing him. Gojo was mostly harmless in his delivery and didn’t pose any real threat to my lifestyle. He seemed to be very forgiving with my excuses and never pressed me for blowing him off. The only thing he ever did was send almost a dozen crying emojis and claim I was abandoning our child. Apparently we were having a little girl, which he named her Naomi. 

Even though the white haired man was beyond ridiculous, he never failed to make me laugh.

I reached toward the nightstand for my wireless earbuds and connected them to the device. I placed one in my right ear and accepted the call. 

“Sweetheart!!!” Gojo whined on the other line. “What took you so long to answer the phone? I could’ve died on the other line!”

“But are you dead?” I replied, rising from my seat on the bed.

“That’s not the point!” He exclaimed. “And besides, what are you doing right now anyway?”

I walked over to the vanity mirror and lifted my leg on the low bench. I twisted the lid from the cocoa butter and scooped some in my hands. “Well, I just got out of the shower and have started my skincare routine. Why?” I warmed the cream between my palms and started to glide it down my leg.

“How do you feel about going on a food run?”

“Right now?” I scooped more product into my palm.

“Yup!”

I switched legs and massaged the butter into my skin. The guilt of blowing him off was eating away at my being. Gojo seemed to be making a genuine effort to get to know me and I was shutting him off. I was never usually the person to deny someone’s efforts and often cheered for a job done well. As much as I wanted to treat him like everyone else, I realized I couldn’t; because he wasn’t like anyone else. He was my husband, at least on paper. From what I could tell, he was pretty kind and patient with me, despite his idiotic tendencies. Those feelings from Vegas started to reappear once again. They always came back harder the longer I shoved them down. 

I started to rub the butter on my arms. “Let me guess, you’re having pregnancy cravings? Want me to buy you some pickles and ice cream?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of katsu sandos,” he admitted with a chuckle. “But ice cream sounds nice. Hold the pickles.”

I shook my head with a smile. “Okay, pregnant lady. If I do this, you better not expect anything from me to get dressed up for you. It’s too late for that.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“You are getting yoga pants and a goddamned sweatshirt. Better be lucky I am not wearing my bonnet outside.”

“Damn, you aren’t?” He pretended to sound shocked. “Now I gotta take mine off and fix my baby hairs.”

Explosive laughter erupted from my being and I felt myself hold onto the vanity to steady myself. “Gojo, what the hell do you know about baby hairs?”

“I know enough,” he conceded. “I am trying to do all my research now, so Naomi can have all the flyest hairstyles on the playground.”

“Gojo, get the hell off my phone with this mess,” I giggled. “You are too much.”

“I am just enough for you, baby. Don’t you forget it.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “I’ll text you the address to my apartment. Hurry your ass up before I change my mind.”

“Okay. Love you, boo!”

“Imma beat your ass.”

My eyes flickered to Gojo’s right hand. It rested on the arm rest between us and started to flex repeatedly. The silence between us was comfortable. It cuddled against our awkward bodies and almost became a second skin. This was the first time we were truly alone together in the past six months. There were no waiters asking for our order or any wandering eyes gazing upon us from the wedding party. It was simply just him and I; in a car, driving to god knows where, in the middle of the night. There was so much that could be said in that moment. So much I wanted to say, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I wasn’t ready and I had the feeling he felt the same way. It was easy to mask emotions in a crowd. It was easy to tell a joke to break tension and get a laugh out of company. Yet, it was extremely hard to be open with anyone you deemed dear. His eyes flickered over to me with such longing it made my heart ache. Those feelings from Vegas were flickering up once again and I tried to ignore them. 

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” he said with a smirk. “You look like a completely different person.”

I nervously readjusted the thick frames on my face. “In a good way or a bad way?”

“In a sexy way,” he answered, earning a scuff out of me. “I feel like this would be a bad time to mention I have a glasses kink.”

Laughter bubbled out of me and I found myself shaking my head. “You are unbelievable.”

“I am being so serious right now. Those glasses are doing things to me,” his eyes flickered over to me. “You are seducing with those thick frames and I am trying my best to behave.”

“Oh god, please stop,” I giggled. “How can I be seducing you in some leggings and a sweatshirt?”

“Baby, you could be wearing a plastic bag and I would rip that thing off with my teeth,” he replied with a wide smile. “You are gorgeous, sweetheart, and I will remind you of that every chance I get.”

My eyes flickered down to his lone right hand on the arm rest. The palm was soft pink and wide. There were callouses across pads of the fingers, almost like he played some sort of stringed instrument. Before I could stop myself, I felt my hand fall into his grasp. Electric sparks pulsed through my body as we touched. His grip on my hand tightened and his thumb rubbed against my knuckles. He pulled my hand gently to his lips and gave my fingers a kiss. A sweet smile fell on my lips at the embrace. My mind easing to a calm that wasn't there before. 

Unlike any other union I had prior, Gojo didn't give me butterflies or bring a blush to my cheeks. He gave me a sense of ease that no one else had presented. In all my other relationships before him, platonic or romantic, someone had always wanted something from me. I had to fit a mold to solidify our relationship. I had to be the perfect daughter for my parents. The unpaid therapist for my friends. The forgiving partner to my ex lover. The cut throat divorce lawyer. I always had to fulfill a label and my personhood was seen as a performance to them. I was never simply Y/N. I could never truly exist amongst them. 

That had been before I met Gojo.

He seemed to like me as I am. Actually, he encouraged me to authentically express myself. He didn't take it personally when I snapped at him. He was offended when I was coarse with him at the wedding, he simply adjusted his approach. Instead of being so direct, he became playful. Non-threatening. He was slowly making me feel comfortable around him. Easing the thick tension between us. The fear that I originally felt in the beginning had clouded my judgment. I couldn’t think clearly. 

Sure, being married to a stranger is scary. There is a lot that could go wrong. However, if all had gone right in Vegas, and if we didn't live in two completely different countries, we'd probably be dating already. Gojo would have most likely met my friends. Spent a night at my condo. Made me breakfast the night after our sleepover. He probably would have invited me to his place the next weekend. 

We'd already been 6 months in a sickly sweet relationship. 

Would I have loved him by now?

“What's that look?” His husky voice cut through my thoughts like a knife. “I don't like that look. What's wrong, sweetheart?”

“Nothing, I just…” I trailed off, turning away from his gaze. “Just thinking is all.”

He hummed, unamused, and squeezed my hand again. “You don’t have to hide your thoughts from me, Y/N. I am a big boy, I can handle the heat.” Gojo kissed my fingers again. “And besides, in order to get through it, we have to talk about it.”

A shaky sigh slipped from my lips and I wiggled my hand from his grasp. I wrapped both arms around myself and turned my body away from him. My eyes quirked at the twinkling street lights and billboards of Osaka. My skin was bathed in a crimson light that directly reflected the internal wound that bled into my foul mood. There was a war happening within my head and I could barely present him with the cause of it. At least, not the true cause. There were so many things that I wanted to say, secrets that I wanted to tell him. However, I knew it was too soon. He was still a stranger. A man that I met a little more than a few times in the last couple of months. A friend of a friend— an acquaintance. It would be too easy for him to leave me if he knew the truth. The whole truth. It was the thing that made me leave my hometown and start over. The thing that made me cut my parents off and change my name. The thing that I shoved so far down that I ripped me apart when it reopened. 

The car came to an eased halt and pulled into an empty space in front of the restaurant. The open sign was flickering on and off, a marketing ploy. It wanted to draw people in to observe its beautiful open concept kitchen and glorious display of fresh ingredients. The tactic must’ve been a successful one, since the place was nearly packed at half past midnight. By the smile on their faces, I know the passengers were more than happy with their purchase. It made me want to try it.

A warm hand gripped my knee and gave it a firm squeeze. I felt my body tense from the pressure. I slowly turned to face the car’s driver. There was a noticeable frown situated on his face and a terrible look of worry situated between his brows. My silence had not made him happy. Not one bit.

His hand slipped into mine and he brought his knuckles to mouth for a kiss. 

“Whatever you need to say or ask, I am right here,” he said quietly. “I will remain here for as long as you need me to be. You’ll always have my support.”

His bright blue eyes were poured into me; like hot water in a teacup. He was moments away from drinking me in. 

A releasing a trembling sigh, I finally asked the question that had been on my mind since our lunch date.

“Why do you want me to remain your wife if our marriage was a mistake?”

At that moment, I watched his eyes dim. Their bright, exhilarating, electric blue faded to a gloomy navy that shook me to my core. Pain contorted his features into an expression I didn’t recognize. He had never expected those words to come out of mouth. Not after all the time we spent together. Not after the pact we made to at least “hang out”. Not after I made the first step to ignite an embrace just moments before. Reaching out for his hand had broken the stalemate between us. We were no longer adults navigating unknown territory, who were scared of the word “marriage”. It symbolized the potential for something else. It made room for something new to blossom between us. The beginnings of a new love story were on the horizon, at least before I called our union a “mistake”. 

The painful look was still on his face when he spoke moments later. 

“Our marriage is not a mistake,” he said just above a whisper. “Accidental, yes. It is no mistake.”

I waited a moment for him to explain.

“Mistake insinuates regret for said action; whereas an accident is an unlikely outcome. It has far less of a negative connotation than a goddamn “mistake”.”

He spat out the word like it was poison. His voice gradually rose with each word until it reached its normal volume. The pain on his face had shifted to a soft look of anger. He looked insulted that I would even use that word to describe our union. Utterly appalled that I would think he’d regret our marriage. 

“I just. . .” He cut himself off, ripping his gaze from my face. “Do you really think I would want to hang out with you if I thought this marriage was a mistake?”

“Well. . . no”

“Do you think I'm some conservative wannabe that frowns upon divorce?” His eyes fell back on me, anger causing his brows to lower. “That I am trying to trap you and keep you hidden away from prying eyes?”

“Of course not!” I conceded. 

“Then, what is it?” He snapped. “Because I’m really trying here. I get that this situation is not ideal for you, but I am trying my best to make it work, Y/N. It just seems like you don’t even care about me or what we had during that weekend in Vegas. You are so ready to give it up and leave everything behind. Leave me behind. Like everyone else.”

The last three words were quieter than a whisper. Somber and true. It made my heart ache and my mind buzz with worry. The little pieces that Gojo Saturo fed me about his life started to all make sense. He was the only child and the first in his whole generation to achieve a very specific goal. Power. What that power was— I had no idea. He didn’t go into detail, but I knew it was something he wore with pride. However, I knew that he wore it with regret as well. There was a weight on his shoulders that only he could carry. It seemed as though he was carrying the responsibilities of his whole family with him everywhere he went. He never had a break with his duties; they consumed his every waking moment. It made it hard for him to mingle, to date, to llsimply exist without a group of people breathing down his neck. The relationships he had made outside of his family never lasted, from what I could gather from his last sentiment. They stole too much of his attention for him to create anything meaningful with them. Just like a flower lacking water, the relationships would wither and eventually die; which left Saturo back at square one. Alone. Miserable. Unhappy.

A deep sigh erupted from his being as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. That was not okay and completely unlcalled for. Please forgive me, sweetheart.”

Without much of second thought, I found myself unbuckling my seatbelt and leaning toward him in my seat. My long arms encased around his slumped form and held him tightly. I felt his body immediately tense underneath my embrace. His limbs were stiff and unmoving, while his breath remained caught in his throat. He was not breathing. I squeezed him even tighter, forcing him to take a deep breath from the constraint. His body melted in my arms moments later. He pivoted his body towards the passenger seat and wiggled his arms from his side. Gojo raised the muscular limbs and engulfed me in what I could only describe as a bear hung. He held me as though I were meant to disappear at any given moment. As if someone would steal me away from this. From him. At that moment, I felt like I meant everything to him. As if I were his entire world. It made my soul weep. 

A series of buzzing erupted from the glove compartment. A message flashed on the car's dashboard:

Order: 2333

Ready for pick up! Come to the takeout window with this text message.

"Your phone is buzzing," I said, lowering my head back to his shoulder.

He hummed in response.

"Our order is ready."

Gojo's arms wrapped around me tighter. "Can we. . . Can we stay like this? Just a little bit longer?"

I felt my body melt into his touch. "Of course."

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a/n: ya bitch got into grad school! which is why i haven't been posting!!! trying to figure out the financial aid situation, but it looks like we are going back to school in the fall! also, please please please tell me if you are feeling this series. i have another one in mind, but i am on the fence. also, let me know if you would like to be on the official taglist for this series!

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TAGLIST

@amajikisupremacy @sweetdreams-inumimi @reagan707 @wannabeotaku @hazzelle-kento @rav3nmuse

[tobiasdrake]

What are your thoughts on the Nostalgia Critic?

Complicated.

I was a big fan of the NC in my twenties. I discovered him later than a lot of other people did but that's kind of normal for me, and it meant I had a lot of videos to go back and laugh at. By the time I got onboard, the anniversary movie "To Boldly Flee" had already officially ended the NC's run, before he failed out of his attempts to move on and be a filmmaker, and wound up coming back.

At the time, I really liked the format of "Wacky skits and personal plotlines mixed with video essay". Writing a story with characters and storylines and also riffing on existing media at the same time. It was basically a modern MST3K, which I'd never really been able to find accessibly.

But the thing that really grabbed me was Channel Awesome itself. The community of creators who would cross over into each other's videos and do collaborative projects and mix up their storylines together and stuff.

And I loved the movies. I watched all of them like dozens of times. It was so cool seeing these creators that I had parasocial relationships with going on adventures and fighting villains and stuff.

...but then things fell apart for Channel Awesome, and we started learning more and more about how shitty everything was behind the scenes for those creators. And how the channel was never really invested in those creators to begin with, and only cared about propping up the Nostalgia Critic.

It soured me on the whole thing, and made me stop and really think about the series. How a lot of those other creators that the channel was exploiting are doing what Doug does better than he does.

I'm not going to say Doug is untalented. He has a Jim Carrey-esque comedic talent, which is to say that he has a remarkable aptitude for flailing his limbs and making sounds erupt from his throat.

Doug's bread and butter is wildly over-the-top reactions, frantic body movement, and the kind of shrieking that will absolutely murder your throat. Which sounds simple but is surprisingly hard to do yourself and, with good comedic timing, can be very funny. He got big for a reason.

But. At the end of the day, all he's bringing to these movies is CinemaSins- or Zero Punctuation-level critique mixed with physical comedy, while other creators in his space were offering thoughtful, serious analysis.

And I like CS and ZP, don't get me wrong. They can be very funny when you remember that this is not a proper review but basically a comedy roast. I've always found criticism of those videos to be akin to sitting down to an hour-length special that's literally just stand-up comedians talking shit about Tom Cruise and going, "Wow, they are being very mean to Tom Cruise. Do they have to be so mean to him?"

But it's a very different sort of thing from, say, listening to F.D. Signifier explain the complete history of the legendary Drake and Kendrick rap beef for three hours.

Comedy isn't easy. But it's easier than the kinds of thoughtful critique that other creators who walked away like Lindsay Ellis or Dan Olson were doing.

And at the same time they were walking away, the Nostalgia Critic's revival was... underwhelming.

While the other collaborators were leaving, the NC was becoming an island reliant on his own stable of paid actors and divorced from the collaborations that made him big to begin with. And the passion just... wasn't there anymore.

It was pretty clear that he'd fallen back on doing NC because his attempt at branching out, his new series Demo Reel, never took off with audiences. The NC revival was Doug passionlessly returning to what made him successful and paid his bills. And it never felt the same after that.

After Change the Channel, it all fell into place. I wasn't enjoying Doug's passionless new videos because he was just going through the motions. I couldn't go back and watch the old stuff I used to love knowing how miserable the other collaborators were behind the scenes and how much Channel Awesome as mistreating them to prop up Doug. My parasocial relationship with him fractured after finding out how he treated the other creators.

(It's worth noting that his paid employees who he pays to support him came out in support of him during all that. The NC isn't some guy's internet show that he films in his bedroom, it's a company. Doug himself is an employee. He doesn't even own the legal rights to the Nostalgia Critic; He signed it over to an executive to manage him.

Tamara and Malcolm are not his buddies; They're his hired staff, so take their opinions while on his payroll with a grain of salt. This is a professional operation, which makes how unprofessional it all is appalling rather than endearing.)

And there were other creators out there, including the ones he'd mistreated, making the same kind of stuff he was making but better. So I made a choice to leave and never looked back.

[bluewithpurplepolkadots]

Honestly I might (might) write a longer post about it at some stage but like… my current feelings on finishing MAWs second season is that the new characters (as in those introduced in this show and didn’t exist prior to it) were very solid.

Certain older characters (as in: those that existed prior to this show). Uhhhh.

Um.

In any case I feel a reason for this is because those in charge of season two did of course watch season one: or at least had it fresh in their minds.

Because of this, they were aware of some things which didn’t work in that first season in terms of its newer characters and that the ending wasn’t satisfactory (particularly for Tylor and Val) and decided to make something better out of it: all while still making it feel like something that could organically grow out of the events of season one.

Things like monsters thinking comedy wasn’t respectable feels realistic. Tylor failing hard at it is also inevitable. Val being well suited to it also. (Especially as being more like a cool babysitter rather than doing stand up). I thought the fact they made them into a comedy duo was a very clever idea I didn’t see coming: but also didn’t feel like it came out of nowhere. It’s really a way for Tylor to be realistically involved with comedy again which doesn’t feel as forced and off as season ones doughnut joke did.

This is good solid writing to me. With their own new characters that they themselves made, while they may have stumbled in season one: I feel the show really gets them now.

But… I honestly wonder if the writers watched either MU or MI upon first starting to write for this show. At least recently. Since they got the job in question I mean.

They’ve clearly seen it at some point in their life. They also perhaps fast forwarded and zeroed in on a specific scenes like Sulley in the laugh floor with Boos picture in season one. They’ve researched the sets that were available and expanded. That sort of thing.

But otherwise it feels like they based the older characters off vibes and half forgotten memories they had of what they thought they were like. Like it’s possibly been more then a decade anyway since they’ve given it a look. Even in season one something feels off with Sulley to me. I’m not sure how to describe it.

And: Randall is indeed violent in MI. There he’s the kind of guy to turn invisible, throw a scream canister at you, state he’s always wanted to do that, darkly chuckle and then choke you out while your friend blathers on at you without realising what’s happening. Randall in MI can be dark man. But: The MAW version… it isn’t really Randall at all. He’s way too… cackling and bouncing off the walls for some reason. He doesn’t know these mifters. With Sulley, Randall has been bitter as hell for a long time and he wasn’t like this. The only take away from the original movie would be a call back to Sulley unplugging the machine to save Mike: like Randall did to them to stop them from taking back the laugh power.

The only possible explanation I’ll take is that his head got scrambled by the shovel. Which would be… fairly dark and possibly interesting as an implication. For Sulley and Mike to be responsible for that happening. But rather like the fact that in season one they just have CEOs legally able to banish monsters if they have the right excuse, I kind of doubt we’ll ever get a look into it or we’re supposed to think on things like that in any real depth.

Also, as a major Sulley fan. I have to say the whole evidence in Tylors locker things and jumping to belief of guilt kind of pissed me off. Granted while better than only-fifteen-minutes-lunch Johnny, he ain’t the best boss at points. (He had his comedians work a double shift? Mike almost dying from a drug overdose on energy drinks Etc) But once again… I’m not sure we’re supposed to take it that way or as a potential thing he has to work on which is kind of… disappointing?

Like he could have an arc. Learn to be a better boss? Maybe Roz shouldn’t have done the random idea of throwing it on them immediately. (Where is the board of directors Waternoose complained about anyway? Yeah see: this is why I think it’s been a while since any major writer has seen the movie).

Johnny was actually pretty solid until the finale and until he chose to tell Tylor of his plans for…. Absolutely no reason. Like Tylor had been working there for a day. He was expressing doubt even. Before this, given vague spoilers I had, I thought Johnny was being handled well and they could make his secretly-evil!Johnny reveal be good even if Randall wasn’t exactly sounding too hot.

Like just have Tylor sneak around and be suspicious of something. Did you run out of time? I guess it’s possible. Season twos pacing before the final two is pretty solid. But if you only had ten episodes? Hrm. Idk. Hard to know what to cut honestly to make room if you don’t want a cliffhanger ending.

I guess this may be an odd example of competent original fiction writers failing to write convincing fanfic.

[vertical-sekai]

Sorry if my last ask wasn’t clear enough, it was an OC ask yes! I thought it would be fun to change things up for the VS asks

Speaking of VS asks next up!

For ForeverDream! members: What are your Virtual Singers like?

Formanon💫

Saki: "Hmm... everyone in SEKAI, huh...?"

Saki: "Well, Miku-chan is kinda like Toya-kun, isn't she?"

Airi: "You really think so?"

Touya: "I also fail to see the connection..."

Saki: "It's like— like when we were kids! You always took everything so literally, you know?"

Kanade: "Uhm, that... doesn't sound too different from how Aoyagi is now, does it...?"

Touya: "Yeah, I still do that sometimes..."

Touya: "Miku's very energetic, though, so I feel like she's similar to Saki."

Airi: "I agree, they have the same kind of charm as idols, too."

Airi: "That's why I was a bit surprised when Saki said Miku was like you, Touya."

Touya: "Since this SEKAI is made up of all our feelings, I guess there might be overlap with how they're portrayed, right?"

Kanade: "Yeah..."

Kanade: "Len also has knowledge of composing and music theory that only Aoyagi and I knew, apparently..."

Saki: "He's really soft-spoken and shy, but it's really fun watching his performances!"

Airi: "Yeah, when we first met him, I honestly didn't expect too much with how quiet he was..."

Touya: "He's a very talented musician and idol. I'm sure everyone in SEKAI is proud to have him as their manager."

Kanade: "MEIKO is also pretty skilled too, although she's a bit strict."

Airi: "That training menu she came up for us was brutal..."

Saki: "It really was... I had to take so many breaks in between exercises, ahaha..."

Kanade: "My legs were so weak after that I could barely walk..."

Touya: "MEIKO is really determined to do her best as an idol, after all."

Airi: "Yeah, we definitely can't lose to her. I'm really grateful for her help, though. She and everyone else in our SEKAI have been really invaluable to us as idols."

Saki: "Oh, that reminds me, Rin-chan is also really ambitious like MEIKO-chan, too! But instead of being strict, she's kind of silly and likes making us laugh!"

Touya: "The way Rin acts makes me feel a bit nostalgic."

Kanade: "Really?"

Touya: "Yeah. She's kind of like how Momoi was on TV, isn't she?"

Saki: "Right, right? Rin-chan is so fun, just like my favorite~ idol Airi-chan!"

Airi: "Stop it, you two... you're making me blush."

Saki: "Hehe!"

Kanade: "Back to what we were discussing... Luka is also a bit like Rin... she has a good sense of humor."

Touya: "And a good stage presence, as well. She could almost be a stand-up comedian, thinking about it..."

Touya: "A stand-up comedian idol, huh..."

Saki: "She's so cool and collected in how she presents her jokes... every time I try to tell one, I start laughing in the middle..."

Airi: "I remember that one time you were with a fan—"

Saki: "No, don't remind me!"

Kanade: "Oh, I remember that. It was a little funny..."

Saki: "Not you too, Kanade! Touya, help me!!"

Touya: "It's okay, Saki. I won't make fun of you. Anyways—"

Saki: "Why are you smiling—

Touya: "—KAITO also has a very cool image as well... there's lots of dramatic flair in how he performs."

Touya: "He reminds me of Tsukasa-senpai."

Saki: ".......Uuu..."

Saki: "....You're right, though. KAITO is totally like Onii-chan, now that I think about it..."

Airi: "The both of you saying that just makes me more curious about meeting him."

Kanade: "...Me too. The two of you do mention him every now and again, so it gets me curious..."

Saki: "Oh, I think I could ask him about..."

[finaleourconcert]

twenty four

you?

From her spot on the table beside the window of the restaurant, Sunok had witnessed the transition of the city with her very eyes, from families and couples walking down the street to younger bodies in fancy party dresses and also all kinds of costumes marching towards the bars, pubs or any other party place of their liking. The latter, the people in costumes, she had figured they were going to El señor de la noche. From what she had seen, there were all kinds of costumes, some cool and original, some others not so, which she found somehow comforting because that meant she hers was detailed enough to pass as good.

Now as she waited on the queue to enter El señor de la noche, Sunok noticed there were lots of people outside the pub as well, either taking pictures or recording videos for friends or the internet, but no one seemed to be paying attention to anyone else's dresses or whether they were going in company or alone. She scoffed, laughing to herself. Was everything in her head? The multiple eyes constantly creeping in the back of her neck, always ready to judge her every move and make fun of her mistakes no matter how small or insignificant they were?

Someone pushed her from behind, stopping her train of thought. Out of instinct, Sunok put her hands upfront and bumped into the person in front of her in the queue. She overheard a female voice apologizing behind her and she quickly smiled awkwardly before facing the man she had unintentionally pushed.

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't worr-"

"You?" Both said at unison.

Sunok tried to make sense of it all. A whole different version of the comedian/piano prodigy Jeong Jaehyun she had never seen before stood before her eyes. Jeong Jaehyun was wearing a black leather jacket on top of a black turtleneck sweater. Strains of hair hung gracefully down his forehead, making his eyes stand out more than they already did. If he was in a costume, she couldn't recognize who he was supposed to be. Damn, he was handsome.

He laughed, putting his phone away, dimples showing at full display. "If we didn't share workplace occasionally and you weren't dressed as a runaway bride in distress, I would have thought you were following me."

She scoffed. Weirdly, there was something about Jaehyun as a person that made Sunok not feel as vigilant as she usually was, maybe his body language, his manners or his overall aura. She wasn't sure and she couldn't explain it but whatever it was, she hoped it lasted. "I'm here to meet a friend's friend. Sorry to disappoint."

"Really? I'm meeting with some friends too. Well, I was supposed to do that like forty minutes ago so the price I have to pay for my tardiness is this long queue."

"You don't get the princess treatment? Famous people's privilege and all?" She tried to sound as casual as she managed.

"Uhm, kinda? But not exactly. I'm friends with the manager of the place but if we're late he takes it very personally and revokes our friends card's privileges temporarily." He stated with a funny smile.

"That explains why your segment at the open mic night was longer than other comedians'." Sunok accused, recalling her first night at the pub.

"Shit, you noticed? Was it too obvious?" He scrunched his nose.

She just shrugged, "Only if you paid enough attention, I guess."

He remained silent, collecting his thoughts. They were half way into the queue and just when she thought their conversation had hit a dead-end, he spoke, "You enjoyed the show?"

Sunok nodded, confused, "Was I supposed not to?"

"No, no, not at all," He gestured effusively, "It's just that... I'm not exactly what you would call popular in the comedy department, you know? Like if I don't do this for a living it's for a reason."

She tried to find the right words to ease the situation while keeping it funny, "Well, at least you get to do it for fun, right? Piano prodigy by day and stand-up comedian by night doesn't sound bad to me."

"Failed prodigy." He remarked.

She frowned, "I don't agree."

"What?"

"If you were considered a prodigy in the past, no matter how or why you're no longer addressed as such by the public, you will always be a prodigy, even more so to those who admire you, like you and love you. I mean, if you don't believe me just ask little Minhyuk."

He didn't say anything, he only laughed, a hint of tiredness in his tone. Try harder Sun, you're saddening him. "You should give your past self some credit."

Still nothing but deafening silence. God, how could people not feel the need to fill in the silence?

"I speak from experience. As you know I work as a gardener, but my actual major was botany. I wanted to make it big but odds weren't in my favor and i ended up managing gardens. Still, I always tell people I am a botanist because even if things didn't go as i expected, it doesn't mean I'm not. No one will take my knowledge and hard work away from me. So I guess my point is you should remove the word 'failed' from your dictionary."

He looked at her with those inquisitive eyes she hadn't been able to read the previous times they had met. Had she overstepped again? Maybe she was reading in too much, turning this into a big thing when it wasn't. "Uh, I'm so sorry, Jaehyun. I'm talking too much. I'm not usually like this except with my best friend."

Sensing her mood swing, he finally snapped. "No, no. I am sorry for freezing. You made me reflect on myself, got lost in my thoughts for a minute. I don't know, it feels like you're one of those people who always know what to say." 'I like the way your mind works' was what he wanted to say. "You have a way with words." Was what he said.

"Oh... thank you." It was all Sunok managed to say as she felt her cheeks burning. Hopefully, the make-up didn't let it show.

By the time their tickets got verified and were allowed to enter the venue, they were no longer walking one after another but side by side, at a prudent distant.

He held the door open, "Shall we?"

—♡—

previous – masterlist – next

author's note: idk what happened to my tumblr app but instead of saving the changes in the post i accidentally ended up deleting it so i guess this is me reuploading it 🥲 i'm so sorry lmao kabsj anyways as i said previously, i love writing parts for these two so buckle up guys because there are more (and many) written parts coming

tags: @nosungluv @nctjunie @yewshi @kodasity @impossiblesongshark @jakeshuneybby @apolloxxivmin —☸

[carmylasso]

out of the woods (jason sudeikis x reader)

summary: after your boss sets you up on a date with your longest celebrity crush, you were pretty sure that was as wild as your friday was gonna get...turns out you shouldn't be tempting fate.

warnings: anxious thoughts, smutty inclinations, olivia.

a/n: so....i wrote the nanny thing? this is mostly fluffy and a lot self indulgent. obviously the kids are mentioned and will be making appearances in later parts, so if you feel uncomfortable with that, skip this one. 

hope you like it! (you can totally curse me for that ending. i know)

tagging some friends without who this would never see the light of the day @calzone-d @thisismysecondrodeo @tedssweaters

statistically speaking, you shouldn't be nervous: it's not like that's the first time you step into the house – by now you could probably say where everything is stored in that kitchen, or slid a joke over the fact that he's obviously organized the living room a bit before you came over tonight – or as if the man at the stove is a stranger by any means.

however, statistically speaking, the chances of you being here tonight, just you and jason, in a date, were never that great to begin with, so...

no, scratch that. up to 6 months ago, there was simply no starting scenario that ended up here, even if alexi never missed a chance to tease you about him whenever the man was brought up. one downside of being friends your boss, you figure. as the years passed, you gave up "hiding" your stupid, incurable celebrity crush on jason sudeikis, even around her and seth. it was harmless, after all. made your face warm with embarrassment when you overheard plans that included him being made? without a fault, but it usually granted you a night off if the man was coming to the house.

til they sat you down one morning to ask if you'd be interested in meeting his kids, seth's eyes gleaming with mischief as he held his hands together in a plea for you to not forget you loved their boys, who would miss you terribly if you sacked them for a hot, newly single comedian.

the three of you were laughing when you told him to kindly fuck the hell off.

except now jason's here, close enough to touch. he's here, and this feels like a whole lot more than flirty jokes late at night, more than stolen glances after a big award ceremony, his hair a mess, clothes askew. certainly more than the almost kiss that got you here in the first place, the feeling of his hand on the side of your neck as he said if he was gonna kiss you he'd do it properly still burning your skin days later. this is real, it's deliberate.

so fuck statistics, you're a mess.

"i need to tell you something" the voice brings you back to the moment, watching as he sets down a plate full of gooey cookies right by the glass of wine he poured you earlier "i'm a fraude. i actually can't bake to save my life" his face is full of guilt as he drops down on the fluffy carpet, the fabric of his trousers raising goosebumps on the exposed skin of your thighs. "if you said you wanted dinner, that i could work with. dessert...brought out the worst in me, i'm afraid" you're trying not to laugh at the man's proneness to the dramatics when he breaks one of the warm sweets in half, practically moaning around the first bite "worth it. so fucking worth it, yn"

"what did you do? these look amazing" it's chocolate ones, big and melting, your favorite kind.

"asked otis to take a pic of the box last time you got 'em from your favorite place"

"really?"

"i'm a terrible father, i know. in my defense, i did try making a batch before i resorted to cheating with help from my child, i promise you"

"jason! you didn't need to do that. we could have gone for ice-cream or something, that'd be just fine" the thought of him trying and failing to make you your favorite food was all too endearing, sweet and amusing to the same degree.

"you're picturing it right now, aren't you? it wasn't pretty, yn. smoke detectors went off, yet the things were still raw on the inside? i mean, how?" his body turned to you, knees bumping while your eyes trailed the way his long fingers broke bits and pieces of chocolate to bring it to his mouth. "these on the other hand..." you felt caught by the grin spreading over the man's face, so you took a bite too.

"fuck me!" the words rang in your ears a second too late to be taken back. if this wasn't the only thing that made it better somedays– you foresaw a long trip to john's in the near future, always one to drown your sorrows in sweets rather than the often sour taste of alcohol – you'd be cursing the place with more fervor right now.

"see, i had a feeling ice-cream wasn't gonna get me that" you felt yourself warm up when the guy winked at you, voice dropping an octave.

"i hate you" from the way he was still staring, he didn't believe your words for a second: sometimes it was good being a terrible liar, after all. "i'll have you know that the right ice-cream could get you this"

"really? where can i find it? for future reference, i mean"

"you'll be the first to know when i have it locked in. jury's still out" you snook in a little taste from different shops every time you had his babies, but he didn't need the details. if anyone was aware of how hard some days could be, it was him. the media frenzy seemed to get worse every week, not that you were keeping track (you definitely were. it was hard not to, harder once you got to know them)

"i'll be waiting"

was it possible to go through the whole spectrum of emotions in just a few hours? it had always been a silly type of question for you. you felt everything so deeply that switching up was never that easy, but, with some comedy playing on the tv, the nerves cursing through you were far different from the ones earlier: now, sprawled out on his carpet, the knowledge that jase was pressed up close didn't freak you out, it made you relaxed, even if were painfully aware of every little touch, every accidental nudge when laughter made his body shake, head resting on a Frozen themed pillow. you were surrounded by the man: the heat from his body, his scent, the way he pulled you back every time you started to drift away a few inches

you were almost drowning in him, yet all it seemed to do was make matters worse. you should've guessed it: if not for anything else, for the way your stupid heart picked up it's pace whenever you managed to make him laugh over the time you'd known him, the way every weird little thing you learned by being around seemed important. it would never be enough, not when it came to this man, would it?

"i...think i should go" before you got sucked in any deeper.

"wha' happened?" he sat up when you did, back pressed to the couch, eyebrows scrunching together as his mind played back the last couple hours. what had he done wrong? "yn. hey, what's it? was it me? did i do something?"

"no! jason, no. it's fine. you were wonderful" this felt all too easy, was the thing. nothing happened, you hadn't even kissed yet, but here you were, all in your head, getting carried away to some point in the future where this was some sort of routine to your days. stupid. it might feel easy, but it wasn't. it wouldn't be, not out of your naive fantasies, anyway. your phone was on top of the centerpiece, your purse hanging from the coat hack down the hall. good.

"you're running off like the house's on fire, sweetheart. i can't be that good" his laugh was humorless, his eyes earnest as he moved slowly, intertwining your fingers. "i'm sorry"

that did it. the way he was so quick to apologize for something that he didn't even know what was broke you.

"is it okay if i kiss you?" it wasn't much more than a whisper, all the bravado you had melting away when he didn't look away, nodding his head.

"only if you want to" this whole exchange was just short of giving you both whiplash, yet it was better do something insane than it was to just leave. if you kissed him, you would have that. even when he inevitably decided not to see you again. you would know what it felt like. "do you?" it felt like deja vu but it wasn't, his fingers caressing your cheek, the hold steady but gentle, like he knew you needed that point of contact as you brought yourself closer.

he tasted sweet, warm, the kiss tentative, each drag of your mouths together making a shiver run down your spine. for a moment it didn't go any further, then his lips parted a bit and you pushed yourself more into his space, tongue darting out as strong hands rumpled the material of your dress while yours pulled at the hair on the back of his head

one second you were awkwardly kneeling on the floor, trying to breathe and kiss and commit every second of this to memory, the next he was pulling you into him. onto him. like he wanted this as much you did, the scruff from a couple days without shaving causing you to moan into his ear whenever jason drew back to let you breathe, his mouth never leaving you, just diving down to your neck, your collarbone, any patch of skin he could reach without having to let you go before he came back up for more.

"off!" you're sure there's an ebb to be made about all those freaking layers but the one word is all you manage as you pull on the green hoodie he chose for the night, grinning when its out of your way, his sly smile morphing into something darker as you grind yourself into the man's lap, just a bit, seeking friction. he's hard under you, tense, like's he's trying to figure out how far he can take this tonight, how far you want him to. "jas..." whatever was about to follow that whisper of his name gets cut off by the harsh sound of his doorbell.

"fuck's sake" it's a deep groan, head flexing back to look at the ceiling, nervous laugh bubbling in your throat when his hold goes stronger for a second "a fucker, whoever that is. can you please get that?"

"gotta let me up first, sir" seems like a conscious effort to ease his grip, your legs a bit wobbly when you stand up, trying to reorient yourself with arousal burning deep in your veins.

if your knees were unsteady as you walked to the door, he didn't need to know.

"is jason home?" that voice is a like a bucket of icy water over your head, eyes blinking fast at the porch light glow illuminating harsh green eyes raking through you.

olivia. olivia is here. shit.

"yeah, he's..." she pushes you out of the way then, carrying a sleeping daisy in her arms through the hall, otis holding onto the back of her coat til he spots you.

"YN!" his voice is loud and excited, body crashing into yours in a tight grasp "did you know we were coming home?"

if only it was that simple, little guy.

[4str0g1rl]

I WRITE FOR XAVIER NOT PERCY!!!

dni if your under 18!! I am not responsible for your media consumption!!!

I walk over to the shed in the forest nervous as I knock on the door of the shed. Xavier answers with a bright smile and paintbrush in hand. "Hey, where have you been?" He asks as I walk in and close the door. "Just hanging around… um how about you?" I ask sitting in the chair next to him. "Just trying to keep my clothes clean…and failing" he says smirking. I giggle at the joke. "You're funny Xavi" I said, smiling. He looks at me and smiles before speaking, "Thanks, I make a lot of jokes so I'm kind of a comedian now" He says jokingly. I smile as he begins to paint again. "So… how's your day been?" He asks. My eyes widened for a second before I spoke, "Oh um it's been good uh how about you?" I ask sheepishly. "It's been good, I went to the park today and saw this beautiful flower, it made me think of you" He said and I blushed at the compliment, "Really what flower was it? " I asked. "I think it was a red tulip but remembering flower names has never been my strong suit." he says dipping his paintbrush into the color yellow and then smearing the paint over the canvas. "That's nice!" I attempted to keep the conversation flowing. "I also saw a squirrel that tried to steal my lunch that was not so nice" I giggled as he told me about his day. "So cute," I said, getting up to look at the shed. "I had some good coffee and a sandwich. But I saw a big ass spider in here so watch out" He said, warning me about the spider which will probably haunt my dreams tonight. "Xavier?" I said and he turned around to speak, "Yea?" "Will-um-will you go on a date… . With me? " I asked awkwardly, fidgeting with my fingers. Xavier smiled before turning back around to his painting. "Yes Y/n I would love to go on a date with you" he said and my heart fluttered in my chest. "Okay cool" I said, spinning around the room trying to keep myself occupied. "When do you want to go? The weekends work best for me" He asked. "Oh um Saturday is good for me" I said and Xavier nodded in agreement. "What do you want to do on the date?" He asked, now using blue paint on the canvas. "Oh we could do a short walk and then have maybe a small picnic in the park and then um I dunno" I responded thinking hard about how to end the night. "We could go star gazing. I know a good spot?" Xavier chimed in. "That would be perfect!" I said my smile was gleaming. "Sounds great!"

The day of the date came around and I had to get help from Enid and Yoko to pick out an outfit for me. Eventually we all agreed on a cute yellow sundress with red tulips on the front. Enid and Yoko wished me good luck as I went to the park to walk with Xavier. The walk was mostly uneventful other than us getting chased by geese. We then had a small picnic with cheese and crackers and laughed and had fun the whole time. Eventually night rolled around and Xavier took me to his 'secret gazing spot'. "Are you sure you know where you're going?" I asked as we walked through woods near the park. "Yes I am so very sure" He responded as he kept walking. We finally found it. It was a small patch of grass where no trees had grown. "Here we are!" Xavier said enthusiastically. I smiled as we laid down and stared at the night time sky. There was a cool breeze that had me wishing I brought a jacket with me. I turn my head to look at him. "Xavier… " I say. He turns his head to look in my direction. "Yea?" He responds. "I really really like you" I say. Xavier smiles before responding, "I really really like you too" We both lean in for a kiss and it gets heated. Before I knew it he was sitting up and I was straddling his lap. I was grinding on him and his hands were roaming my body. He moves his hand on my thigh and begins to go up my dress. He pulls my dress up and starts touching me through my panties. "That feels good Xavi" I say and he smirks into the kiss. "I really love your body" he says and he moves my panties to the side and sticks a finger in. I jolt with surprise as his finger fucks me. He eventually sticks another one in and my body is rocking with pleasure as his fingers work their magic. "Xavier I'm gonna cum" I beg. His fingers go faster and faster until I cum all over his hand. "Wow that was good" I say as we share a tender kiss. He smiles at me then says, "I'm glad you enjoyed it." "What if someone catches us out here?" I question him. Xavier's eyebrows furrow. "I dunno. Maybe we should head back to the school" he says and I agree. We start heading back and he drops me off at me and Yoko's shared dorm. "I had a really good night tonight Y/n. Thank you." Xavier said, giving me a small kiss atop my head. I smile, "I had a good night too" I respond before unlocking the door. "Good night Xavier" I say before turning around and walking in the dorm. "Good night" Xavier replies, waving, before I close the door.

[its-just-hyper]

@nepeta-leijon-official ALRIGHT! SO! DRHF stars fuka toyoda as our ultimate lucky student and main character! (…till he’s… ahaha well-)

We’ve got a full cast (including a monokuma clone named monosune. Her banter with monokuma is that of a ‘wife’… it goes as well as you’d expect)

Rantaro Amami (ignore his hair thing I swear it doesn’t mean anything for Toyoda)

Fuka Toyoda — ultimate lucky student. He’s believed his luck has been nothing but exceptionally awful, always putting him in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe his luck is changing now that he’s been accepted to hopes peak, right?

Kei Keiouma— ultimate forensic scientist. She’s your kyoko, your sidekick ^^

Chinatsu Hara — ultimate pop sensation. She’s supposed to be a subversion of sayaka. She acts as your ‘antagonist’ and attempts murder at least once. (She fails)

Kohaku Bando — Ultimate Rockstar. What Leon should’ve been. Don’t think about the implications of a Makoto, Sayaka, and Leon homage, it doesn’t mean anything I promise (lying)

Toshiba Tone — Ultimate Basketball Player. We tried to fit into danganronpa tropes so here is your Sporty Big Tit Girl Who Miraculously Survived!

Shiori Shishido — Ultimate Veterinarian. Her size is intimidating until you’ve seen her holding a kitten. She’s a sweetheart and would totally wrestle an Aligator for anyone.

Geiichi Takata — Ultimate Playwrite. Short perv except he’s tall. His disrespect and bad behavior definitely won’t bite him in the ass (lying)

Umeko Mita — Ultimate Gardener. Umeko did nothing wrong. I promise. I promise. I promise. A they slash them (literally), umeko hates bullies and loves flowers.

Shinobu Akamine — Ultimate Blacksmith. Tragic lesbian. Strong and quiet and definitely a target of suspicion, with her weaponry and such.

Hikaru Ozawa — Ultimate Dungeon Master. Fast friends with Umeko, Hikaru is convinced that he’s the one controlling the game, getting more and more distressed and needlessly guilty as more people die. Hope no one hears him calling himself the Mastermind, since he quite genuinely isn’t.

Sayuri Kubota — Ultimate Ringleader. The small and cute one ™. Friends with Shiori over their love of animals (although everyone loves Shiori), totally not just himiko wearing blue ⸝⸝==‘⸝⸝

Hanzo Tsutsumi — Ultimate ‘Motorcyclist’ ashamed of his true talent (shsl janitor) he keeps his distance and tries to act cool. Whhhat, the hidden talent character ™ isn’t a protag? Who could’ve guessed. Huh.

Masuyo Hamamoto — Ultimate Chessmaster. Tragic lesbian part 2. She’s literally so cool and smart and selfless. Only good things happen to the smart and selfless ones, remember sakura? :)

Yuto Nakono— Ultimate Stand-up Comedian. His biting jokes usually get a laugh, even if they can be kind of mean. Of course, he doesn’t really know where to stop, even when lines are crossed. He gets along very well with umeko because of this. (Lying). Good thing umeko did nothing wrong (also lying).

Tatsuki Aoyama — Ultimate Lumberjack. Monokuma let him keep his axe to encourage murder, if not by him than of him for being a threat. He’s chill and would probably help you study for midterms, even though he wouldn’t understand any of it.

Oh yeah here’s some sprites in varying levels of completion, mostly done by @th3ratk1ng . We have all the chapters mostly planned out, also

(Pictured: Kohaku, Shinobu, Chinatsu (her hair is an edgeworth reference, yes) and Umeko)

Oh yeah and this lol

[cuddlyscribe]

Hiya again

Anon from the last 2 king requests, thank you again so much I really enjoyed the latest one so I thought of another one.

Could you please do another king headcanon where the reader is having a bad day and king does something funny to cheer them up to see them smile and laugh again

[welcome back! so happy to hear that you enjoyed the last 2, they were a blast to write! ❤️ I think King trying to be a comedian to make his friend laugh is the kind of heartwarming content I need right now LOL, hope you enjoy!!]

Immediately, King knows something's wrong. He doesn't need you to say a word or even look his way to know that. Being your friend for this long has graced him with the ability to read your body language really well.

Now King doesn't fancy himself the most eloquent speaker. Though he is a great listener and is incredibly empathetic, he often doesn't know how to express his feelings and such. It's something he's been working on though so he can be the best friend he can be for you.

That's why when he sees you're feeling down and having a tough day, King's instinct is to find any way possible to make you smile or laugh. Being a wrestler, if there's anything he knows it's how to entertain people.

He may not be a comic relief wrestler, but that doesn't mean King doesn't know how to be funny. The man is actually so hilarious, it's sort of this hidden talent of his!

King starts off by showing you some montages of his fails in the ring. There are a couple video montages that people have posted that make even him roar (pun very intended) with laughter!

They're from when he was a brand new wrestler and barely even had any recognition. He's tripped on the ropes, slipped on the mat, you name it. All in service of becoming a better wrestler, of course, but funny nonetheless!

Then he'll find some of your favorite funny movies and encourage you to join him in watching them. Whatever your cup of tea is, King knows exactly what it is and has them ready to go. Classic comedies, dark comedies, you name it!

Sometimes he'll force you to listen to his grand story about how you two became friends. He likes that it always makes you roll your eyes at him because he pretends to get teary eyed and while he's very dramatic, yes, he really does mean it!

You're quite literally the bestest friend he could ever ask for, and he will do anything in his power to get you to laugh and smile again!

[bluetomorrows]

The Top 10 of the '10s (Part 1)

Many moons ago I noticed something about my history of watched films on Letterboxd. There was a huge drop off in the amount of films I had seen pre-50s. I'd say it's normal to have seen more recent movies than older ones, but I didn't like just how sparse my viewing was of those earlier decades. So I set out on a mission to familiarize myself with every year I was missing. I decided to watch 5 of the most popular films from every year that ever had films. I finally finished the 10s today. The 1890s and 1900s are also very interesting, but the 10s are when the film industry really began to take off and movies took a form more recognizable to modern audiences. Maybe some other time I'll talk about my favourites from those more experimental decades, but today I wanna talk about my 10 favourite films from the decade where modern film was born.

10. The Rink (1916, dir. Charlie Chaplin)

The Rink is a comedy where Chaplin really gets to show his strength at creating gags that continue to build, and his surprisingly strong roller skating skills. By this point, the tramp character is really coming into his own and Chaplin continues to invent new and exciting ways for him to be stupid. The specificity in the action and choreography make this occasionally feel more like a Keaton short than a Chaplin one.

9. One A.M. (1916, dir. Charlie Chaplin)

One A.M. is an incredibly interesting short for Chaplin as it's just him performing by himself on one small set. He plays some guy who comes home piss drunk at One A.M. and struggles to navigate the foyer of his own home. It really speaks to Chaplin's talent as a performer that this is as consistently entertaining as it is. Maybe there's something just primordially funny about people failing at simple tasks, but he seems to squeeze every ounce of potential out of this setup. It feels like this guy is Sisyphus if he was crushed by the weight of his own stupidity. Great stuff.

8. Coney Island (1917, dir. Roscoe Arbuckle)

While he's now remembered as one of the "big three" silent comedians, Buster Keaton got his start acting in smaller roles in films by and starring Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, who was also funny in his own right. I would describe the plot here but it's pretty meandering and unfocused, all you need to know is Fatty is hiding around Coney Island. The plot being weak doesn't really matter in this kind of short, it's just a vehicle for gags which is all it needs to be. Adding a theme or moral to this through a more focused story would honestly bring the short down. There are some great gags here with Buster getting his girl stolen from him and Fatty crossdressing (something he apparently did a lot), as well as plenty of slapstick and humour derived from carnival games. It gets incredibly ridiculous and is not at all interested in being grounded or feeling real. This whole style is a nice change of pace compared to some other silent comedies that tried to be something they weren't. This is primarily interested in getting you to laugh, and it gets there in some quite impressive ways. Something I do want to note is that the original release of this movie has an extended ending which is super racist. Modern restorations use the later versions which cut this out, but it still exists and is pretty gross.

7. The Unchanging Sea (1910, dir. D.W. Griffith)

The Unchanging Sea is a much more emotional and subtle film than much of Griffith's later plot-focused work, however, the ways it stands out from the style he went on to refine in this decade is what makes it so interesting and memorable. It's really a film about longing and the quiet sadness and isolation women experienced in this time period. I've always maintained that despite him being behind on other groups (i.e. being a vile racist), Griffith's films were always much more feminist than his contemporaries. Perhaps his willingness to portray complex female characters with unique issues was a factor in his early success. For the women in The Unchanging Sea, the work of their husbands out on the open ocean transfers them to a liminal state, unable to tell if their lover and possibly only friend would return until the moment he did. The sea does not care for their sorrow and their concern, it's a force much greater and mysterious than any fight they could muster. The light plot here lets us sit in the anxiety of these women and understand the way that their experience of life is fundamentally limited by the circumstances they were born into. There isn't even any real way to protect each other, as the ways of love for a woman in this time and place are a force more powerful than their pleas for other women to stay alone and self-reliant. The Unchanging Sea is about how human connection is all we have yet for many it's a prison. It's a kind of story that was only possible by someone like D.W Griffith when he and film were in this more primordial state, more willing to experiment and craft experiences that differed from the stories pioneered by other mediums, and is a shining example of exactly why this period of film history is so worth returning to.

6. The Cook (1918, dir. Roscoe Arbuckle)

Don't worry, this post isn't all silent comedy shorts. But in said genre, The Cook stands above the rest. This one feels a bit more focused than Coney Island, I know I ranted about how a proper plot wasn't super important in that one, but it did still feel a bit too disconnected overall, where here there's a full funny throughline from beginning to end. Not a throughline that's really trying to say anything, just a method to build tension and add onto gags to make them the best they can be. There are a lot of setups that take quite a while to pay off, often with several gags in between them, as well as some gags that feel like Rube Goldberg machines. It's an impressive piece of work that clearly took a lot of planning and care to execute. It has workplace safety violations and a cute dog, what more do you want?

5. Dante's Inferno (1911, dir. Francesco Bertolini, Giuseppe de Liguoro, and Adolfo Padovan)

Dante's Inferno/L'Inferno is the oldest surviving feature film, and the first one ever produced in Italy. I hate to call a film "an experience" but it really applies here. The narrative simply consists of two guys wandering around hell for 70 minutes. It's just an excuse to look at some really gorgeous visuals. The sets and effects in this are gorgeous, and the film seems determined to keep outdoing itself in its scope and ambition. This is much more inspired by Meliés than the likes of Griffith. It's something you look at and take in like a painting. You really need to just appreciate the artistry and imagination. It doesn't work for everyone, I'd forgive you if you got bored, but for me, it's a wonderful and astounding piece of art, that exemplifies the facet of early film to portray sharp and impactful images.

I'm realizing now that I have much more to say about these films than I expected, even ones that didn't make it into the top 10. So I'll end this post here! Look forward to seeing the top 4 and a ton of honourable (and dishonourable) mentions.

[representshinjuku]

Let it Bleed

[All]

Go!

Let it Bleed

Bleed (Bleed) Battle (Battle)

[Rei]

Yo kids, what’s new with you?

Isn’t it time you call it quits on the struggle?

Water and oil don’t mix, got it kiddies?

Your ‘karma’ is just play-pretend

Your sweat-drenched bonds are inferior

Go sweat ‘em out in a sauna somewhere

Half-hearted rebellion in your eyes

What kinda parent would raise you like this? (lol)

[Ichiro]

Shitty old man don’t act like a father now

I’m living my way now

You’re just scum clinging to his vices

I’m bringing down judgment on you third-rate con (Aye)

The pre-reviews don’t lie in this tight race

I’m the unshakable ace

A half-retired guy’s off-topic phrase

Is so lame I can’t hide my disgust

[Rei]

Show me

[Ichiro]

Your tech

[Ichiro & Rei]

Let it Bleed

[Sasara]

Number one’s a gloomy big brother

That naive stuff won't work on me, y'know!

Makin’ a big fuss ‘bout this’n that

I’m real sicka you muscleheads

[Rosho]

You’re putting your education to waste

No age limit at ‘Bukuro kindergarten ([Sasara] Teacher~!)

Class bully Yamada Ichiro-kun ([Sasara] Present!)

You know nothing of the real world

[Sasara]

That’s some illegal collusion, brothers for life

Stuck riding the same boat eternally

[Rosho]

Aren’t you tired of seeing the same faces every day? ([Sasara] O~h!)

Let me advise you - those bonds are fraile ([Sasara]: Good!)

[Sasara]

Our Rosho’s got a knock-out line every once and a while ([Rosho] Quit it)

[Rosho]

That’s our idiot leader - but I trust him 

[Sasara & Rosho]

Now this’s Osaka’s solo live

‘Bukuro goes down to a poisoned banquet

[Sasara] We’ll show you [Rosho] Naniwa’s spirit

[Sasara]

Bloody-bleedy bleaty-bleepy

[Sasara & Rosho]

Let it Bleed

[Jiro]

Hey, teach, you got a real bias

Like a bad sauce drowning your rap (Eww)

Too much for you in those thick-ass comedy phrases

You call yourself Sasara but you seem real sus to me

[Saburo]

Even Jiro’s right once in a blue moon

Your old-fashioned style’s practically heritage

If you’re a teacher than show me a fresh definition 

Of course it’s beyond you mass-produced MCs

[Jiro]

That really sell? Where’d you buy that suit? 

Weird as hell how you build the brand

[Saburo]

With such a low-brow comedian calling the shots

The subordinates are certainly useless as well

[Jiro]

Three brothers standing together

[Saburo]

Never straying from the vow in our blood

[Jiro & Saburo]

Kings from ‘Bukuro with the strongest style

Tiny little Osaka’s got nothing on us

[Jiro] Easy, yeah? [Saburo] They can’t stand against us

[Jiro & Saburo]

Let it bleed

[All]

Raise a hymn to the rivals

You’re bleeding thicker than water for

No pain, no gain

Keep rising up to higher ground

Water and oil spiral

Our words snapping for survival

No pain no gain (Hey!)

To the limits here we go!

Crush them, my mic; going for the throat in a single phrase

Bleed (Bleed) Battle (Battle)

Come at us, this’s the edge of life and death

A lethal injury in 1verse

Sore losers who’ve lost their pride, step down

Bleed (Bleed)

Until we go down let it bleed

Bleed (Bleed) Battle (Battle)

[Rei]

Give the rebellious phase a rest

It’s just the drivel of kids who don’t know love

You’re nothing but a green three of a kind

Should I break down that pride of yours?

[Saburo]

I wish your constant tenacity would stop at your looks

You old man

The larger picture you’re fixated on calculating

Is plain to see, an antinomy

[Rosho]

Trying your best to act the part of a genius

Doing nothing but barking as your brothers’ dog

No matter how you cry out such sickening words

Nothing will change - enough is enough

[Jiro] 

Don’t start preaching, teach, you’re the butt of the joke

Your punchlines don’t get shit for laughs

You’re a trainee? Then I guess I forgive you

But get the hell off of the pro’s stage

[Sasara]

‘Kay ‘kay! Jiro-chan’s real big speech

Gets a little candy for his best effort

Dummies get tired when they try using their brain cell

Idiots need moderation or they’ll burnout and fail

[Ichiro]

Don’t play hero, you’re just the opening act

All you can do is crack jokes you walking ads

I’ll show you we’re superior in this 1verse

The clowns are about to get thrown off the stage

[Sasara]

Oi, for you, Ichiro, I’ll get a little serious

Stronger than brothers are our Osaka bonds

We can’t go show you off to heaven quite yet

‘Cuz then we couldn’t play around with you down here anymore!

[Ichiro]

Since you’re for real, Sasara, I’ll say the same

The strength of our bonds won’t lose to you

‘Bukuro’s not getting held up on our setbacks

Now accept that you’re dying here already!

[Dotsuitare Hompo]

You’re about to derail, everybody applaud

Hittin’ your weak points - Dotsuitare Hompo

[Buster Bros!!!]

Lame guys get gone before they make trouble

Charging in - Buster Bros!!!

[Sasara] Ready to go? [Dotsuitare Hompo] GO Osaka GO Osaka GO

Quit the complainin’ and put your hands up 

[Ichiro] Let’s go [Buster Bros!!!] GO ‘Bukuro GO ‘Bukuro GO

Shout out with everything you’ve got

[All]

Roar my Hypnosis Mic

Howl out for this fated battle

It’s a massive feud, 

We’re raising the curtain

On the second show so

Let it Bleed

Raise a hymn to the rivals

You’re bleeding thicker than water for

No pain, no gain

Keep rising up to higher ground

Water and oil spiral

Our words snapping for survival

No pain no gain (Hey!)

To the limits here we go!

Crush them, my mic; going for the throat in a single phrase

Bleed (Bleed) Battle (Battle)

Come at us, this’s the edge of life and death

A lethal injury in 1verse

Sore losers who’ve lost their pride, step down

Bleed (Bleed)

Until we go down this struggle won’t end

Let it Bleed

Everybody say

Bleed (Bleed) Battle (Battle)

[Dotsuitare Hompo] GO Osaka GO Osaka GO

Bleed (Bleed) Battle (Battle)

[Buster Bros!!!] GO ‘Bukuro GO ‘Bukuro GO

Bleed (Bleed) Battle (Battle)

Let it bleed

[tulip-wizard]

funny how, when asked the question "who knows you best?" i say my friends.

yes, they know my true name, and they know the things i like. with a heavy head, i vent about troubles, whether it be school or home or my self. and they listen. i get to play the role of the comedian, and sometimes they actually laugh.

with my brother, i can scream and curse the world without getting surprised looks from those words coming out of my mouth. he doesn't pry about my issues, and i don't speak. we love each other, but i would sob if he told me.

it could be my mom, who i can trust not just to listen but to converse with me about my interests. she's seen the movies i've seen, she listens to the music i play in the car. she calls me kind, and i let that simple word drive me to be the person she sees me as. she's known me longer than anyone. i try, most of all, to be a good daughter. i always fail, but she loves me nonetheless.

i feel myself tethered to these people, without any wishes of letting go. and yet, everyone knows me as a different person. a vessel for self-driven anger, a kind but dishonest daughter, a guy who, loud as he may be, has to hide himself.

is it possible to be all these things at once?

[ninithenarnian]

Got to see my neice last night and give her her Christmas presents. She loved them.

I baked some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for my aunt and grandma this morning. I'll deliver them later with these little Christmas magnets I painted.

Lately, I've been taking in a bit more stand-up comedy like specials on Netflix, and sets on YouTube. Been buying old comedian sets on cd at used media stores too.

I've been looking into some comedians that are well known as well as others that are more obscure. My current favorites are probably Lewis Black, John Malaney, and Bill Hicks.

Lewis Black tried to tell a joke in a special once and it kind of flopped. He said that he had told that joke several times and he didn't know why it didn't work. It wasn't the audience's fault. It was his he said.

I love that. I love it when people have that kind of mind set to always improve.

Like some teachers will blame their students for not knowing the material when everyone fails an exam. And they think it's not their fault at all. I find that teachers that demand more than they give usual have really bad attitudes and love to complain about their job every chance they get.

Meanwhile, I showed up to learn, not to hear again about your dissappointing life choices and how you wish you were some place else. I wish they were some place else too.

I love it when people try their hardest because they're passionate about their work. Trying to always be better and improve. That's inspiring to me.

Well that was a tangent!

Anyways, my family gets my sense of humor usually. Once we were parking next to a police car in a parking lot. I told my Mom to hide her crack pipe.

Another time I was at Target and they had maternity mannequins. I asked my Mom, who I knocked up the mannequins?

I made my Dad laugh yesterday when I told him, after we left the doctor's office that my podiatrist can go back to twiddling his mustache and tying women to the rail road tracks.

As for my husband, he's probably the person I can make laugh the hardest. Or my sister, Moonpie. Maybe they'd be tied for first.

Okay. Enough ramblings for now.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (568): Fri 6th Oct 2023

Since September 1st when I started my Jerry Seinfeld inspired task of writing jokes every day for a year I have almost half filled my notebook with jokes (most of them okay, some of them just stupid puns and a few of them good). My plan is to continue this challenge for an entire year and then go to London to take part in the King Gong competition at the comedy store or try to find an Open Mic night up here using the very best jokes I come up with between now and September 1st 2024. All I’m hoping for is to get a few laughs before getting booed off but even if I do get booed off it won’t matter because I can cross “Stand Up Comedy” off my bucket list and I will officially be a failed stand up comedian. I think that I’ve come up with quite a few decent one liners but of course ultimately the only judge of whether the jokes are any good or if I can cut it as a comedian will be an audience. However tonight before bed k watched a clip of Demetri Martin on Ellen doing a stand up routine and one of the jokes I’ve written is actually one that he did years earlier. The joke I wrote went “Treehouse’s are kind of fucked up because you’re killing a living thing and then decorating another living thing with its remains”. In this clip Martin says “A treehouse is quite insensitive. Its like saying ‘I kills your friend. Hold him’. Even though I’m disappointed I’m also quite stoked because even if the joke I thought of has been done before I still had the same thought that a professional comedian did so at least I’m starting to think like a comedian does. I don’t think I’ve heard Martin do this joke before but it’s possible I may have seen it and then forgotten it and rather than coming up with it myself it’s actually just seeped out of my subconscious. Although I’m choosing to interpret this development as proof that I’m making progress it does mean that when the time does come that I’ve written a years worth of jokes I’m also going to have to spend another full year Googling the jokes I’ve come up with to make sure I haven’t stolen any of them.