#you were home the whole day
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I am observing a freshwoman in her natural habitat, a shared flat with one currently absent roommate and one effectively absent one (me).
Being young, the female has not yet developed a sense of causation. It is therefore not yet evident to her that the clean dishes do not magically manifest themselves out of the dishwasher. She has spent the whole past day in observation. Meanwhile, the dirty dishes are piling up next to the so called "sink" area, a relict of an earlier stage of the cultural development of this group.
We will check in on the female at the end of the day again. We are keen to see if a sense of understanding develops.
It so happens we can only observe her in this habitat until Friday. After that, it is time for us - to move on.
#personal#frustrated#yes I am being mean#but honestly#you were home the whole day#I was gone the whole day#The dishwasher is a shared responsibility
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Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met
#Homer!Odysseus: you sacrificed your men to save yourself? Detestable coward! How I wish I was never born if it would ensure you had not the#Epic!Odysseus: you’d understand if you *loved your wife.* But I guess a guy who stayed with Circe for a year wouldn’t know that!#H!Odysseus: do not speak of things you know nothing about! I long for my return to sweet Penelope but I have a duty to my men#E!Odysseus: A YEAR. A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD KILL ANYTHING AND ANYONE TO GET A HOME A YEAR FASTER#H!Odysseus: that was clear when you served Scylla six men like they were cattle!#E!Odysseus: it was them or me! And don’t keep talking about my friends like you did any better. you’ll go home alone too#H!Odysseus: they doomed themselves when they ate Hyperion’s golden cattle. I am not responsible for their suffering. But you could have ens#H!Odysseus: Now Eurylochus’s body lies at the bottom of the sea where there can be no burial and no honour#E!Odysseus: AND I’LL GO HOME TO MY WIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT LOVELY LOYAL WIFE WHO’S BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR TWENTY YEARS.#E!Odysseus: and when I go home and she asks if I came back as fast as I could I’ll be able to answer honestly#H!Odysseus: WE HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THE MEN NEEDED TO REST#E!Odysseus: FOR A YEAR???? DID THEY NEED TO REST FOR A YEAR??? AND DID THEY NEED THAT REST RIGHT AFTER A MONTH’S LONG REST WITH AEOLUS??? S#H!Odysseus: IF YOU WISHED FOR ITHACA SO DESPERATELY WHY DIDN’T YOU OBEY PALLAS ATHENA AND KILL THE CYCLOPS#E!Odysseus: *drawing sword* I WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY#Epic the musical#Epic odysseus#The odyssey#odysseus#Homer#Greek mythology#Jorge rivera-herrans#nuclear war speaks
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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I'm in other places too:]
#never heard of blusky before but since the whole twitter thing is happening why not make an account on another app#you can tell how long o haven't posted on tiktok (my b day was in August 28 AND TODAY IS OCTOBER 17😭) wow school hits horribly sadly#but yeah if you want to i exist on other apps! yay yippie#my welcome home oc serein as my tiktok pfp#waaah i love him#you might see my wh ocs on blusky toos#cant believe welcome home and my little pony were the only things i wrote as my biggest interests😭 I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE I LIKE WAAAH#welcome home
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IEYTD As things I heard/said on my vacation (Part 2)
Reginald: why is the water so cold near the shore? Isn't usually the further out you go the colder it is?
Roxana: it's probably the wind that's cooling it-
Agent Phoenix: the ocean broke.
Reginald: you shouldn't have three drinks in 15 minutes!
Agent Phoenix: they kept handing me free drinks! What was I supposed to do?!
Stranger: so what's your name?
Agent Phoenix: his full legal government name is John Juniper, but everyone just calls him Piggly wiggly.
John Juniper: THEY FUCKING DO NOT!
Roxana: so how did you like seeing the dolphins?
Agent Phoenix: they had a bird sanctuary there.
Roxana: oh how nice, but you went there to see dolphins. Were they cute? Perform any tricks?
Agent Phoenix: I got to feed so many birds.
Roxana: again, that's nice but-
John Juniper: *covered in bird poop* Prism, they saw birds and so birds is all we did. At least the birds liked Phoenix. One bit me!
Agent Phoenix: they could sense my undying love and your bad vibes.
Agent Phoenix: I think it would be fun to yell 'DOLPHIN' and watch everyone run to the windows to look.
Reginald: *chuckles* then do it.
Agent Phoenix: LOOK A DOLPHIN!
*a dolphin actually jumps out of the water as everyone turns to look*
Agent Phoenix: ... No fucking way.
*meeting a large group of people who clearly all know each other personally*
Person one: oh we vacation here every year and meet up to chit-chat about our lives. Is this your first members only event?
Agent Phoenix: yes actually. I just became a platinum member.
Person two: and how are you liking it?
Agent Phoenix: good. I like the free drinks.
Person three: so where are you from, friend?
Agent Phoenix: Canada.
Person one: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUR POLITICS RIGHT NOW?!
Agent Phoenix: *startled* Y'ALL ARE FUCKING CRAZY! WHAT THE FUCK?!
*Everyone chuckles*
Person one: oh yeah, we're fucked, big time.
#with the american election happening the day after we got home#most people were talking about it the whole trip. there were some fights#i expect you to die#ieytd#agent phoenix#john juniper#dr. prism#reginald crane
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Part two of the thing and uuh also final one
Of this interaction. Because this is far from all I can give, my brain almost imploded from all the ideas
#after some very heated talks between the two brothers Vash said he would leave the house for a good time#suggesting they both needed time apart and Vash needed to learn how to live without Kni#very reluctantly Kni agreed (even if he didn’t V would have done it anyways) with the single condition of letting him know the general#details about his livings. the adress. who he was living with if he decided to room with someone and at least their phone number in case#of an emergency. Vash agreed to this and put the limit there bc Kni wanted to know more but he said no I won’t tell you about their life tf#WW who is comfortable living at the orphanage doesn’t find convenient commuting for over 2 hours everyday to get there#so he is looking for a place to stay. Vash mentioned wanting to share a rental home w someone to split the spendings#and so the stars aligned and they were already planning their moving four days after meeting each other#because that’s Vashwood for you#imagine the delight of being either WW or Kni and finding out about each other thanks to Vash again#neither of them want to tell Vash about what they think of each ither. Kni to keep some sort of face and ‘peace’ with his brother#and WW doesn’t want to leave a bad impression saying he was the cause that the brother of the guy he was planning to live with couldn’t see#with his right eye for a whole week. so they hate their guts and Vash doesn’t know the why though he can grasp a general idea.#but he always hits bullseye making both WW and Kni glance at each other silently with their eyes saying#“DID YOU TELL HIM?’’ ‘’DID-YOU-TELL HIM??’’#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#nai saverem#millions knives#Trigun Uni! AU#lenssi draws
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Dude I had two weird multifandom dreams one where I met fintan and him and Bronte were like hella suspicious about their past which is weird bcz I don't ship them but they were sooo gay and the other one gwen servant era and some other chic from like our time were having a political debate and were both running for us president???
#damn paf you really make me have interesting dreams apparently#i mean yeah id vote gwen for president any day#the other one was average passive agressive politician and she was just respectful#ans the whole council was watching fintante or whatever you call them#and we were in my old childhood home??#weird as shit#tiwtr-vc#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#councillor bronte#fintan pyren#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#the adventures of merlin#gwen pendragon
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Thinking abt Kae’s Fatui verse,,,,
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Him having a sort of fatal attraction vibe goin with Traveler like Came||ya’s whole thing almost hdbfb#//The whole ‘you’re interesting; I really like you; I can’t WAIT to see what makes you tick’#//Except he might actually be more of a danger to them; considering his endgame for those he ‘loves’#v; l’innamorato (fatui!kaeya)#//The love idea of him v attached to Signora; deffo got along with the kiddos of the HotH better fjhdh#//Prolly loved presenting her W|ll Sm|th style; even if the attention it drew to him too did make his skin crawl more often than not#//Love the idea of him stalking Traveler thru their journeyw lil heart eyes; interfering at key moments to hinder or help them progress#//Depends on how he’s feeling at the moment jcbcb#//In this verse would deffo butt heads with Taru in Fontaine specifically—he wants Traveler’s attention too jfbfb#//Prolly met them in Mond as part of Signora’s lil entourage—IMMEDIATELY got intrigued at first glance#//Background wise; I like to think he was a Fatuus meant to infiltrate the knights like many of Eroch’s ppl#//And in the progress of going through the knight thing got acquainted w Luc & began to have doubts abt the Fatui cause#//After visiting his home; hearing abt and meeting his father; then the day of the Heckening happens & they fight#//Bc Kae already planned to come clean & renounce the Fatui & Khaenri’ah; but the mess Crepus’s death made of him#//Tried far too hastily; far too bluntly to tell Luc the truth of his origins; swearing he knew nothing abt the Delusion#//Only to get claymore’d; which absolutely helped cemented him into the Fatui’s ranks more#//A part of him knows it wasn’t the time to say it; that he is at fault for trying to take advantage of Luc’s vulnerable state to tell him#//Only for the lad to have been far too volatile & so it turned out badly; but he still blames Luc for the break of their bond#//Anywho; I like to think as of Inazuma; he does have a certain grudge against traveler bc of Signora#//Before; encounters were more of puppy love bordering on dangerous obsession—after that; the dangerous bit became Personal#//Ohhh I’m writing a yandere here; okay<-should have realized that from the FIRST slew of Fatuiverse hcs lmao#//He genuinely does love Traveler; would like to see them breaking down in despair in his arms#//The two of them together would make a most beautiful ice sculpture indeed#//Even with his grudge; Traveler does stand a chance at swaying him to actually be helpful#//Sumeru quest wise; Co||ei is the magic word—i like to think he came along with there bc he wanted to see abt the Eleazar#//And maybe find clues to her family or even her herself; Traveler or Paimon dropping the name would make him cooperate SO fast#//Klee in Mond is basically his Teucer jffb. She is as good as fam in his eyes—I like to think he keeps up his habit of collecting pyro ppl#//Bc he never got over his broken bond with SOMEONE. Even if this verse has him more bitter abt it#//But ye jdbdbd. Is it rlly a Allie posting if it not short lol blurb and then heckin TAG SPAM lololol
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!
#today was touch and go but overall much better than yesterday where i was watching a musical (not my thing) and it was legally blonde (cool)#but everyone's voices were so shrill (ouch) and the audience was clapping (ouch) and talking a lot (ouch)#and i was three rows back from the stage so the lights were bright (ouch) and there were strobe lights (ouch) and the person seated next to#me kept touching me when she turned to talk to the person next to her..... AND my joints were killing me but we had to walk everywhere from#the theatre to the restaurant we ate at for dinner. which was a byob. and i didn't know we were going to a byob or i would've b'd my own b#but my bf's family doesn't drink so it would've been awkward anyway. and no one talks to me and i don't talk to anyone but yet i'm expected#to be there for some reason (??) i'd rather stay home honestly. horrible time. i couldn't even vape because of said family#so i had zero pain or anxiety relief that whole time. and i had the longest meltdown in the theatre. and i couldn't finish bc intermission#so i had to just like. force it down so i could sit there in silence for 15 minutes while everyone else talked to each other.#and then after all that we still had a 40 minute car ride back home. with my bf's mom.#and then today she invited us to the park with her and my bf was like 'do you wanna?' and i couldn't say no in front of her so i said yes#and then felt SO anxious because god. i just needed A Day. so then i shut down. but then i communicated what i was needing to my bf#and we had a nice walk at a different park on our own. phew#i do Not mean to complain but goodness. pre-autism i would've blamed myself for everything that happened#but now i can properly commiserate with people who understand me LOL anyway. look at some of the crazy shit i went through yesterday
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#my desserts#this person wanted a D&D cake for tomorrow but I had to be like#'sorry I can't take unusual orders on behalf of the other decorators and I'm off tomorrow'#so we worked out this whole thing like the cake would be grey with green and purple balloons#boring but they were like 'well whatever you can do'#and then at the end of my shift today I had 45 minutes left and I was like fuck it I'm making them a cake with a dragon like they asked#too bad with like most of these cakes I post I don't get to see their reactions#bc they're usually for pickup the next day when I'm off or in the evening after I've gone home
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the miserable angry person I become when I haven't eaten is, in a word, atrocious. it is 9pm I have not had my dinner murder is about to be on the menu if I don't fix this soon
#i spent. SO LONG (5min) trying to iron a shirt that would NOT be ironed#and then SO LONG (60 seconds) futilely trying to shove the ironing board closed (gave up and left)#and now i want to CRY because i CANT STAND INDECISIVE YOUNG MEN#what is going ON in your BRAIN if you would COMMUNICATE i might UNDERSTAND!!!!! WHAT is the struggle WHAT is going on#if you were INTERESTED as so many people have CLAIMED YOU WERE why didn't you SAY anything why didn't you DO anything!!!!!!!!!!#LIFE IS LITERALLY SO SHORT WHAT IS GOING ONNNN I CANNOT SIT HERE WAITING FOR YOU FOREVER I CANNOT !!!!!#they said it might be because you had qualms about long distance. BOY I WOULD'VE GIVEN LONG DISTANCE AN ENTHUSIASTIC SHOT#not to be like. once again i am the one more interested i am the one so ready to open my heart i am the one more invested#but like. dude. we live in an age of technology. if you want to get to know me. TEXT ME I'M LITERALLY IN THE SAME COUNTRY!!!!!!!#also what a day this has been. i agreed to teach sunday school (i am burned out and felt dread the whole time and then after i said yes)#and then socialized with too many people and then spent about 2 hours commuting and then came home and watched a romcom#that was happy that made me sad because it was happy. i too would like to be treated tenderly and pursued intentionally for once. anyways#in the same day one friend got engaged to her best friend and one friend got involved with a horrible boy and the whiplash was Horrendous#also if you cant tell i am indeed on my period and feel like too much and not enough lol i need to be alone for a little while
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Cats
What's not to love about these lovely creatures? Honestly, growing up I was always a dog person (even despite the fact that I was attacked by one when I was young). But then I realized I wouldn't be able to take care of a dog for, well, a buncha reasons, thought about how it would be to have a cat, and thought, yeah, it would be nice to have one. For so many reasons. The eternally lethargic me could never take care of a dog properly. A cat, though? I probably could.
#the void asks back#I physically still can't bring myself not to freeze up or get away when a dog is nearby#despite the fact that I still love them#my first thought when one is nearby is always “what if it decides to attack me?”#obviously the answer is that it won't but childhood trauma does shit to you lol#that's the first time I've ever called it trauma but now that I mention it it really is huh#still remember sobbing afterwards about the wounds on my back#shame I never got any scars#the least I could get for going through that#fun fact: The next house we moved to after that incident had a dog that was chained that I played with#one of my strongest memories with the dog was of accidentally hurting it because of how sad and guilty it made me#like damn I really liked that dog#despite the fact that I still couldn't get too close given the whole recently formed trauma thing#I do also remember getting chased by a crocodile with my aunt back in the same home the dog attack took place in#or was it an alligator#but honestly I have trouble believing that memory wasn't a dream#even though that's the only memory of that time I'm unsure is a dream or not#one day I should ask my aunt if it was a dream#also we were in the house's compound so we were able to run inside and be fine#but somehow I doubt that that really happened#oops there I go rambling in the tags again
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Thinking about the INSANE moral grey area of the thg victors at the minute,, these scared, small children killed 23 (or 47) other equally scared, small children in order to make it out alive. Every year afterwards the wound that is the games gets ripped open and they have to go about closing it up all over again. They can never escape the blood of the other scared little kids on their hands. They are being punished by the Capitol, made to watch other kids do what they did, for something the Capitol made them do in the first place. If they want the kids to die because they don't want them suffering the way a victor does for the rest of their lives, then they're uncaring & complicit in the tributes death. If they get the kids out, they're signing the tribute up for a life of misery. No winning. No moral high ground. Just a train ride that never stops.
#actually shocking that only 16 victors were dead/missing by the 3rd quarter quell. thats an insane amount of trauma to cope with#parcel day is probably the best example of how the games play on victors morals even when its over#because the entire district gets fed. for a whole year. of COURSE you'd want to give that to the people back home#but it means putting this kid up for literally anything Snow wants. You are complicit in their trauma from then on. you let them live#but if you dont mentor them then your district suffers and you're two more kids deep into this grave you keep digging for yourself#and NONE of it is the mentors fault btw im not saying that because there's no way to mantain a moral highground in this situation#but. jesus christ. its an impossible game because no matter what parents loose their children and someone looses their freedom#sickening. suzanne collins you have a brillant mind#thg#the hunger games#cw: death mention#<- multiple times#this isn't even starting on beetee/wiress and their inventions or the careers that live but if i talk abt them I'll never stop. alas
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