#you think people with disorders/trauma/illnesses are a project to be fixed

[kasumingo]

People thinking that therapists will fundamentally change someone as a person and "fix them" expose themselves as never gone to therapy and should educate themselves before giving mental health advice to anyone

[ina-nis]

I was reading this morning about all the ways people reach out to others, and how they might come off as "needy" because of that, but that intensity comes from people being literally starved from love and connection, so, of course, they will come on strong and, of course, that might look very scary and intimidating too.

Some people commented about how much "that's codependency" and trauma and that no one has to put up with that. That these "needy" people have to find it within themselves that connection they're starving for and leave other people alone, because these "needy" people are a danger to themselves and to others.

And here I'm thinking: "how is that codependent?" Am I going crazy?

I'm one of many examples of people who put on the work, in therapy, with self-improvement and self-love, with building and maintaining a self-esteem and I still have this deep need to connect with others, that I could not ever fulfill by myself.

Yes, I'm aware and expect I might come at others very strongly because, yes, I am very starved for love and connection. That doesn't make me codependent or disordered.

You don't tell a person who's have not eaten for days, finally getting proper food, eating it sloppily and too fast, how they have an eating disorder and have to control themselves. You let them eat. There's very high chances starvation has gave them an eating disorder actually! The act of eating is a human need, if you deprive a human from proper, nutritious food, they'll get by with whatever they can get. They will be likely sickly, and they will not look "proper."

Obviously, a need to connection is not comparable to hunger on any degree, but it is, too, a need nonetheless.

These people who think you can solve these deep wounds, trauma and disconnection with therapy and self-love do not know what they're talking about. They either have not experienced it, or if/when they did, they might have developed, perhaps, a misguided (and highly individualistic) way of looking at it.

You can't heal social disconnection, lack of love and a nonexistent support system through therapy and self-love. These are some of the first, very important, steps one could take, but they alone cannot fulfill that role.

For many, such as myself, that's a space only other people can fill.

It's ironic when they keep on deflecting and projecting, still saying things like how much "you just need to be deeply connected to yourself," only then you'll be able to connect with others. It reeks of that same narrative that says "you can't love others without loving yourself:" where the interpersonal relationships rely on an arbitrary "fixing" of oneself.

What happens when you can't fix that? And oftentimes you really cannot, since most mental illnesses don't have a cure. Are you supposed to keep on walking this healing path, this journey of self-betterment on your own? Because only in the end you shall meet other people and have a healthy relationship with them?

I don't know. In my eyes, it's like people are telling me I just need to love myself more and that will fill (or rather, "fix") my need to connect with other people, just because I'm starved for connection and that might come off as "disordered" to others.

It shows a lack of understanding and compassion. A bitter ignorance of the implications of connections, at least if feels that way for me.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

if you're still doing the character ask game: mcu loki - 2, 3, 7, 8? (i know that's a lot, but i feel like they go together. you can just pick one pair if you like)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

My love for Loki is because he is a schemer (I even love the pre-reincarnation evil old man comic book version). I just love sneaky, scheming characters that are disliked by those around them for either unfair or fair reasons. It's the trait I am drawn towards (see my love for SkekSil). I love how contradictory his traits are. His self-hatred and grandiosity. I love that he even loses when he wins. I also find him very projectable/relatable? Maybe because I also have difficulty maintaining relationships. I definitely think a part of me is so attached to the concept of Loki due to how Christianity demonized him, the most notable aspect in the MCU being Loki's horned helm that made my very Catholic mom scream at the fucking TV.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

This is hard because I feel like the flaws add onto him. My least favorite thing is his tendency to resign to shitty conditions. On relationships and plans. This can be shown by his sabotage of relationships (e.g. Sif). And his sabotage of plans that might prove too risky (e.g. trying to betray Thor in Sakaar so he won't leave to fight Hela and potentially die). Loki's a very pessimistic character, I'd say. While I am glad in the series he didn't become a Time cop, he still shows strong signs of that pessimistic streak by going at fixing the problem on his own without really talking things out.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

My favorite HC (by 100indecisions) is that he has mental scar tissue from the mind stone's influence that makes him difficult to enchant. I think I've claimed that I forgot it was a HC when S2 aired and people were wondering why he didn't just let Sylvie enchant him. I also like to see how people HC his magical abilities.

I love psychological analyses that don't denigrate mental illnesses. And I love analyses on motifs and symbolism, or interpretations of the character as metaphor for neurodivergence. I also love trauma HCs as the angsty bitch that I am.

Although I am a grimdark bitch, I enjoy GOTG + Asgard mashups where Loki didn't die in IW. He's a fun character to have interact with the GOTG, and there's the question of whether he'd know Gamora and Nebula.

And there's some cool TVA fics like pantiara's "Trapped in Time."

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I dislike HCs where he's this gentle bookish prince that has NEVER touched a blade nor killed anything before Thor (2011). Did you all not see him display combat skills in pretty much everything he's been on?

I loathe the way most people talk about Loki. Either he deserves eternal suffering, was evil from birth, "pretended" to kill himself, and has evil personality disorder, or he's "too good" to have the personality disorder and it's actually evil Odin that has the personality disorder.

And my least favorite kind of Loki fic is Frostiron where it's revealed Loki is actually as nice as freaking Jesus. Loki should be messy and not some waifish victim, especially if he comes from Asgard, land of "We don't talk about our feelings". And lol, I just don't like Tony.

I guess I also think ship wars are pointless and obnoxious.

Thanks for the ask!! ^_^

[c-0-yote-teeth]

Hi I just need to scream here for a bit bc I been holding it together irl and need to get this out

Tw for death of a loved one, abuse, drug addiction, mental illness- possibly more

My mom died last year. November 15th. I will never forget the phone call from the woman she was staying with.

"Your momma died last night."

What do you say to that?

"Oh."

I loved my mom, and I still do. But her dying has forced me to look back on my life and, unfortunately, revisit all the trauma I experienced at her hands. Not ALL of my trauma, mind you, but... Enough. She was supportive of me as a person and that made the abuse very difficult to process mentally. She didn't care that I was bisexual, she was too. When I came out as trans at 14, she supported me fully, going so far as to buy me a new wardrobe even though I didn't live with her at the time. When I fucked up and got pregnant at 16, she moved me back down near her and was the most amazing Mima my daughter could have ever wanted.

But she was also a manipulative abuser, and an addict. I was physically abused in place of my siblings, blamed for things going wrong in her life, accused of sleeping with her drug dealer boyfriend and doing crack, and, coming to a head at the ripe old age of 14, she tried to kill me. I was put into foster care after bouncing through a few family members houses, and I didn't speak to her for about a year. When we did speak, it was very limited and I was hesitant.

When I found out I was pregnant, she was one of the first people I called. I moved in with my grandma and Megan rekindling my relationship with what I thought was a changed version of my mother. Little did I know.

The entire time I was gone, she continued abusing my siblings, her and the guy she was seeing mutually abused each other for YEARS, she continued doing drugs and drinking, and then we all moved into a house together. She did meth. She saw people in the trees. She was only happy if she was drunk or high, but even that was 50/50.

The slightest thing would set her off, and she would go feral. One of my siblings moved in with their dad, the other stayed with my mom and my daughter while I moved to the next town over to get away from the drugs and toxicity of my hometown, start a career, and get financially stable enough to have my daughter. (Remember, I was a teenager).

The cops were called one night when the fighting between my mom and her husband got really bad, and my brother and daughter both ended up staying with me in my tiny apartment, until my brother also moved in with his dad.

After that, my mom got clean! She stopped doing drugs AND drinking, and even smoking cigarettes! She moved in with me, started an LGBTQ pride based small business, donated her proceeds to organizations like the Trevor project, got her license and car fixed... it was nice. She worked her way up to be a support counselor for LGBTQ victims of abuse of any kind, worked with organizations to set up needle drops for people with addictions to dispose of used needles and obtain clean ones and Narcan, and fentanyl test strips, all for free.

And then, one day, she just... Gave up. She struggled with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, and other mental illnesses I'm sure I had no idea about, and I think that it was just... Too much.

She relapsed. She drank, she smoked, she shot up, she snorted. She got kicked out of the recovery house she moved into, moved back in with me, fought with me and was subsequently kicked out of and banned from my house, attempted to drive to her exes house an hour and a half away drunk, crashed her car, moved back in with her ex, broke probation and got arrested more than once.

When she went to court, her options were:

A: 5 years in prison, out in as little as 3 on basis of good behaviour

Or

B: 2 years in prison, 8 on probation.

And you know what she decided to do?

She fled the state. She fucking left. She bounced around the country with money from who fucking knows where, stayed with other addicts she had met along the way and saw all the things she wanted to see. National landmarks, mountains, and even the snow for the first time.

And then, she died. She was 45 years old.

And now... It's her birthday. She would have been 46.

If you stuck around all the way to the end of my tragic story, I'm sorry. There is no happy ending. There is no justice. I just needed to get this off my chest. Her life was a rollercoaster of tragedy from beginning to end, crashing through and derailing other people's rides in the process. I'm 23 now, and I'm doing... Okay. I struggle with my own mental illnesses, as evidenced by this very blog. I don't really know how to end this, but... If you think this story is bad, you should hear about the rest of my life.

- Ransom.

[runby2]

i think i really hate mental health articles that immediately demonize the small harmless things people with ADHD or PTSD , ETC do, or how our brains have developed. like we're going to die or something if we don't get "immediate help." for the SMALL THINGS. Like i just read a whole article on how "hyperfixation" in general can be "awful and detrimental to someone's entire life" and it just went on to describe people who play video games or project onto characters, or engage in fiction "too much" and daydreaming to cope with trauma. people with complex inner worlds they find comfort in, and things like minor hallucinations that are just common with a lot of mental illnesses are written as "warning signs" yeah it can be hard in some cases when someone hasn't lived all of their life with it, or if they ARE struggling with it, but wanna mention that it's kinda a normal thing for some people? How they're not doomed? How their world isn't broken? How it's POSSIBLE to find security in loving parts of yourself you can't change if it's literally not detrimental to your health? i didn't even know these things were demonized until last night.

like - ?? if it's not an issue and we're functioning fine then it's not an issue- and we're not going to die from it. or "slip into insanity if we don't catch it." some of these things we can't even change in our brains and it's just our day to day lives. the brain gets rewired with trauma. i'm really sick of fear mongering for literally no reason. "people with DID/OSDD can't cope or heal without therapy and some people DIE FROM STRESS" "watch out for WARNING SIGNS of Coping with TRAUMA through art TOO MUCH." shut up dude. therapy helps people who are struggling and coping in ways that harm them or others yeah, but people with high anxiety and literally no issues with their mental states and coping mechanisms don't need this fear planted in our minds that we're not fixed yet. some of us function just fine.

"if you don't stop these small things now it could get worse until you're impaired! watch out!" yeah okay I guess I will stop enjoying things the way I always have? or existing alongside things meds won't always aid with. Healing looks different for everyone and that includes how they healthily cope with mild mental illness symptoms. especially in an economy like this. AND YEAH the disorders are categorized and named as extreme or harmful cases of these symptoms but if the symptoms even in their harmless states are listed as dangerous and not explained then what's going on here? don't answer that, I KNOW

[starleska]

when Logic twists: an analysis of Logan, cognitive distortions, and a future Side

spoilers ahead! this is a little deep-dive into some foreshadowing in the latest Sanders Sides episode, and what i believe the team are going for in terms of Logan’s arc. just some thoughts i had after the episode - i hope you enjoy, and would love to hear your thoughts too :) tw for discussion around mental illness, trauma, abuse, intrusive thoughts, therapy, etc. 

so, we all know that Thomas does a marvellous job portraying difficulties with mental health. he uses interactions between his Sides to carve out fun stories that dramatise the the internal struggles which come with facing complex situations, including those which arise from your specific history and mental illnesses. the writing behind Sanders Sides often uses consideration of real symptoms and therapeutic techniques in order to impart useful advice to the audience who may be struggling with similar issues. with all of this in mind, i thoroughly believe that a good chunk of you are correct about this new Side (foreshadowed in Logan’s eyes) being Wrath, or some variant of Stress or Anger, and here’s why: 

Logan is the side of Thomas which is constantly needing to pick up the slack. not only does he spend a good deal of his time de-escalating conflict between the other Sides, he is constantly letting his own dreams (and consequently, needs) fall by the wayside to comfort, validate and assist Thomas' overall desires. we even literally see him benched during the court case with Janus - his input is considered unimportant unless he is deemed as the voice of reason. with this understanding, Logan is viewed by the other Sides as a Side who doesn’t need help. He’s Logic, so they believe he always knows what is appropriate, and how to control himself - or even that he doesn’t need to control himself at all.  yet i don’t believe this to be the case, and i think ‘Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts’ foreshadows this in an intriguing way: by utilising the dynamic between Logan and Remus. for context, i am speaking as an individual who suffers from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), a form of PTSD. whilst the Thomas we know in the Sanders Sides universe is of course somewhat sanitised and simplified for the easier imparting of moral lessons, we know that this Thomas suffers from issues with intrusive thoughts, low self-esteem, and high anxiety. whether or not these can all be attributed to an underlying condition is irrelevant, but what is intriguing is whether these symptoms are being exacerbated by traumatic, triggering or otherwise stressful events affecting Thomas’ life - which, based on the direction ‘Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts’ went (using the relationship with Nico as a conduit), i think is true. when you experience a number of traumatic events or an acute amount of stress, your Logic can become faulty. let’s think about Logan not as a super-genius who just knows what is the correct thing to do all of the time: his knowledge comes from a bank of information and experiences, which he constantly uses to provide a ‘rational’ stance next to the more ‘emotional’ traits of each Side. yet Logic relies on evidence in order to build up this ‘rationality’. let’s think about a scenario wherein you are told every day by someone that you are ugly. now, if this occurred later in life, your Logic might have already rationalised that this is not the case - that you are beautiful just as you are, that this person is seeking to hurt you, that they are projecting, etc. your Logic would make those reasonable counterpoints based on past experience. however, if you were told by multiple people throughout your life, every day, that you are ugly - say, from caregivers, or close friends - you would internalise ‘i am ugly’ as part of that internal Logic. in the first scenario, you would be able to accurately evaluate the thought, ‘i am ugly’ as a cognitive distortion. however, in the latter scenario, you may be unable to, because you have this bank of ‘evidence’ that other people perceive this as reality. even if those people are abusers, or have an ulterior motive, the notion will be internalised and become your reality - so your Logic will say, ‘i am ugly, based on all of the evidence.’  i find this interesting because in this latest episode, they specifically had Logan call attention to cognitive distortions. we must remember that Logan is a part of Thomas. this is Thomas attempting to rationalise with himself, to implement mindfulness and CBT techniques which he knows to be successful, because they have worked in the past and he has it on scientific authority that they help with intrusive thoughts. but this leads us to a question: what happens when you experience so many traumatic events, or so much stress, that your Logic turns against you and begins to validate your intrusive thoughts?  imagine for a moment Logan’s awesome rational power - but levied in support of all of Thomas’ deepest fears. in my own experience with CPTSD, a horribly thorny mental trap is the one you fall into when you start down the path of ‘i must be a horrible person, just like they said. i must have deserved everything done to me. look at all of the evidence.’ these thoughts often appear rational due to the intense nature of the sufferer’s pain, particularly if that pain is repeated or prolonged. i believe that Logan’s outburst, paired with Thomas’ fretting over not receiving a call back from Nico, are supposed to represent the building stages of this mental trap. such thoughts are difficult to emerge from, but they become even more difficult to deal with when met with a powerful emotion: Rage. if you have cause to think thoughts of the ‘i am a disgusting human being’ variety thanks to trauma, stress or similar negative events, often there is a good deal of pent-up Rage stored alongside. justifiable Rage, one might say - it certainly feels so in the mind of someone who has suffered so terribly. if one is prone to hating themselves, feeling inadequate or other fertile breeding ground for intrusive thoughts, they may also sometimes snap into the opposite extreme - becoming infuriated by everything that has happened to them, and that they are still needing to deal with yet more pain in the present. this is something i have suffered from personally: when mixed with trauma, it is equal parts emotional dysregulation, and being triggered by something. you might be enRaged by the idea that you were ever ‘passive’ as a victim of something terrible, and want to ‘fight back’. in other words, the emotional state of your Rage will feel justified - and this can cause you to engage in some deeply destructive behaviours. this is why i believe this new Dark Side will be Rage (or an equivalent). Logan’s ‘STOP IGNORING ME!’ speaks of a breaking point brought on by years of fixing other people’s problems, only to receive very little in return. there’s a misconception that people who are ‘good’ at handling stress or fixing other people’s problems (i.e., not showing much of the strain) are simply less stressed as a whole, and therefore should be saddled with yet more stress. Logan’s screaming at Remus, and Remus’ delight at Logan’s response, shows us that Logan is exhausted from all of the hard work that he’s had to do in order to fight Thomas’ intrusive thoughts and cognitive distortions, alongside the massive amount of stress in his life. likewise, by giving into his impulsivity and opening up more opportunities for further stress, Thomas has allowed Logan - and his Logic - to become vulnerable to Remus and intrusive thoughts. Logan may have successfully been able to dispel the intrusive thoughts which had no basis in reality (for instance, a murderer hiding in Thomas’ closet) - but what happens if Thomas is given validation for an intrusive thought? in other words - what if Logan feels he has reason to listen to Remus? i believe this Rage has been simmering within Thomas for a long time, and his debut is going to be explosive. there are lots of ways this debut could be written; some have theorised that Logic and Rage will be a kind of antithesis to the Creativitwins, wherein the two are fused as Thomas has internalised his Rage as having a Logical root. this would have Rage not as a separate side, but a kind of version or alternate mindset for Logan, a bit like how he was when in Virgil’s room. i would not be surprised at all for this episode to include both Remus and Janus - Remus, revelling in the intrusive thoughts which Logan/Rage is now allowing to fly free, and Janus, delighting in Logan/Rage’s validation of destructive behaviours, which may well include Deceit. i could also see Virgil being drawn in by this irresistible combination of Anxiety-fuelling thoughts - intrusive thoughts inspiring inadequacy, Deceit inspiring fear of being found out, and the terror of Logic being twisted to validate every fear Virgil has ever had for Thomas. you know when someone has hurt you really badly, and so in your head you come up with countless (awful, unrealistic, hurtful) ways to ‘get back at them’? that’s what i think the next Sanders Sides episode is going to be like.  of course, like Anxiety, Intrusive Thoughts and Deceit, Rage will have his uses too. i believe, if any of this theorising is correct, that the next Sanders Sides episode will follow a narrative discussing if Rage is justified when one is hurt to a massive extreme, and what Logic can one follow when it backs up every destructive impulse. are you being Logical if you are full of Rage? basically, i think Logan (influenced by a breaking point and giving over to Rage) is going to do everything in his power to be destructive, under the idea that it is the only Logical thing to do. i believe he will fall to the horrific power of cognitive distortions and mental illness, and that the other Sides will need to use their strengths to bring him back. anyway, that’s all my thoughts! my apologies for any inaccuracies, or if anything in here was upsetting. i’d love to hear what you think about this, and your own theories! :D take care 💏

[melodies-and-memories]

I’m going to detail why my very first OCs are Bad this is a major callout for young me 

1. Greyson Greyson was my very first OC. I made him after we read Wuthering Heights for school. He was based off of Linton Heathcliff. Something in me at 13 years old adored the idea of the Constantly Sick character. Probably a deep seated psychological issue of not being needed. In his original story, he wasn’t *really* the main character. The main character was Amaya. Greyson was 10 when I made him (remember, I’m 13). Ayako/Amaya was like 15. She’s been sent abroad to study, and is boarding with the Knights and their young son. She never meets Greyson, and doesn’t really know he exists for a long time. She befriends 2 kids from school, Myles and Kathleen (Kath’s also Bad. She’s basically a Weasley ripoff.) Eventually, she does meet him. He never leaves the house due to illness (later, at...... 14? I retconned that he wasn’t just ill all the time, he’s immunocompromised. But in a REALLY uninformed way.) The entire point of the story is that these 4 outsiders become like a family.  My issue is mostly with how... uninformed my characters are. Amaya is so.... anime Japanese girl. Milo’s a typical Ruffian Bad Boy. Kathleen’s a red haired Irish girl with 7 siblings. Both Myles and Kathleen are actually based off my own family. My dad’s friend growing up was named Miles, and my Gran was 1 of 11 kids. The only character with any personality is Greyson. Amaya was a sad attempt at living through an OC. I had horrible identity issues through most of my life, and I desperately wanted to not be me, so I was projecting my ideal self onto Amaya. Which is whole other can of worms of Bad.  Greyson eventually moved out of that story and into my New Story. In a super convoluted way. And he didn’t change very much. (First drawings of the cast)

2. Eli “Toushi” Okay. Eli is 10000% the brain child of psychological issues. I made Eli sitting in Sunday school when I was 14. He’s the magical transformation of a Naruto OC whose design I liked (my own OC) turned into an older brother for me. That’s all he was to begin with. Eli is a horrible Frankenstein’s Monster of things I wanted or romanticised. He’s Japanese because I was into anime and desperately wanted to be Japanese, he’s tall because I wanted someone who would hold me and protect me, he’s older than me because my older sister failed me as an older sibling constantly, I wanted him to have blue eyes so I made him HALF Japanese, his mother is English because I wanted very desperately to not be American, eventually his story developed into one of neglect and running away from home to make a better life for himself (which was something I wanted to do, for selfish reasons.), he became an alcoholic at 13, because bad boys are Cool, and so I could bring in my New Ideal Self to come in and save him. His name’s not good either. It’s not a name. I pulled it out of my Japanese dictionary. Toushi (闘志). It means fighting spirit. But like. It’s not a name. As far as I know at least. He’s only called Toushi because the original Naruto OC was called Toshu (search me for where I got that). And even after all these years, I can’t change it. I have trauma. He became Eli because Ellison Kim and because I couldn’t bear to call him Toushi anymore. His appearance is taped together from things I liked too. He’s a mishmash of celebrities I’ve been attracted to over the years. I literally can’t draw him anymore because I don’t know what he actually looks like. I don’t know who he is.  As a teenager he was The Voice In My Head aka; My desperate attempts at fighting off depression. He and Leo would basically Angel and Devil in my head. Eli would build me up and was loving and supportive of everything I did, and Leo would criticise me and insult me. During my teenage years I also started expanding my world I was building in my head. Which will be point 3.  I might have. idk if I’m allowed to say this but like.... I kind drove myself crazy. I was always dialoguing with Eli or Leo. I didn’t connect with people, but I don’t know which came first; was I unable to connect with people, and so I made up friends, or was I unable to connect with people BECAUSE I made up friends? (The original sketches from 14 year old me)

3. The House I called it “the house” because I never decided what this story would be called.  You know those AUs where everyone lives together? It’s that but it’s my OCs. So this story was started when I was 14. And I was on the internet a lot. And I was seeing a lot of people saying stuff about “representation”. And that really like.... connected with me. I’m dealing with my own garbage, I’m at that age where I’m wrestling with personal identity, sexuality, sexual identity, mental illness and stuff like that, and I suddenly longed for representation for the under-represented.  Decent motives. Terrible execution.  90% of the 100 something characters I would make over the next 4 years would be POC and suffering from *something*. Whether physical illness, assault, or mental illness (or a combination of things), there was no one who could be called “average”. Which was the point. The House was a repurposed home, turned into a refuge for people who need help. It’s a hospital, but a home.  The major problem is, all of my research on all of the “issues” people had was the wiki page. It all feels so fragile. I’d slap a personality disorder on a character design I didn’t know what to do with. I’d give someone physical trauma if I didn’t make their personality one that could be convoluted to accommodate my ideas of mental illness. I’d straight up take characters from other media, tweak the design and give them a personality disorder. I also wrote some REALLY traumatic backstories for characters. All in the name of representation, but my tact was lacking. I wanted the abused and suffering to feel heard. But I didn’t educate myself. Their traumas and issues became props. And that’s really bad imo. Because traumatised people are more than their trauma. I don’t want to be defined by the terrible things that happened to me, yet I defined these characters by theirs. I made OVER 100 CHARACTERS like this.  4. Sen So. Sen. Sen is the most confused character I’ve ever made. They’re me. And they’re They because to this day I can’t decided what I want them to be. Sen started as a boy. Then a girl. Then NB. Then a girl who is mistaken for a boy and never corrects anyone. Short hair, long hair, brown hair, red hair, black hair, short, tall, skinny, fat. They were never anything other than whatever I was at the time. I have trauma.  -------- In short I need to do better. I need to let go of the things I did badly, and fix them, or just.... let go.  I think it’s important for me to reflect like this. Because sometimes I need to articulate my frustrations to be able to overcome them.

[babbushka]

How do you think your writing has changed all these years, Mrs. Z?

Oh dang this is a pretty deep question, lol. I think that the very very short answer is, I’m writing stories now that help me, instead of stories that distract me. Long answer under the cut because, well, it’s long lol (tw for discussion mental illness/trauma)

Back when I started writing, before I even really knew it, I was writing to cope lmao. Which isn’t an unusual thing, lots of people do it, lots of people make art to help them get through whatever it is that they need help getting through. As a child I struggled with a lot of shit that I’m still struggling with now, I won’t get into the details of it because that’s a conversation for another day lol, but the gist is mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, body image problems/eating disorders, suicidal issues, and also dealing with incredibly brutal antisemitism and homophobia. Things were rough up in my noggin’, for a very very long time, to say the least. 

And one of the big ways that i coped with that was through movies. I watched like 2 movies a day every day for 20 years lol (that’s sort of an exaggeration but also not really), and through that, came the love of stories and the love of writing. I dealt with my awful life by watching a movie and then either by completely and totally ignoring my own misery and writing stories that filled the void of happiness, or by projecting myself so heavily onto characters (whether it was cringey original content or even cringier fanfic) who were perfect and could do no wrong to somehow make my own misery feel a little less real. 

But you know, over the course of a decade or so, as you grow up and as you learn about yourself and you learn about the world, there are some realizations that come to light that impact you. You start to realize that the content that you’re consuming has an impact on you. I grew up and I got smart and I started to see the issue with a lot of the content that I was making and watching, it started to annoy me, because so much of it was just, poorly written lol. 

I stopped trying to desperately pretend that everything in my life was okay, and I started to embrace the fact that things were shit but things could be fixed, that it was never too late to start working to better yourself. I stopped projecting myself onto characters who were squeaky clean and perfect and flat and had no dimension, and instead tried to find myself in characters that maybe were just as flawed as I was. 

Because even when life is shit and you’re a completely fucked up hollow shell of a person, there’s hope. Even when things are bleak, there’s hope. There’s love. There’s solidarity in brokenness, and in working towards putting yourself back together again -- not for anyone’s sake other than yourself. I was tired of seeing women treated like shit, I was tired of seeing fat people and jewish people turned into jokes, I was tired of watching gay people get killed or only .2 seconds of screentime. I was tired of men writing, and in some reactionary way I began to write these like, what I thought were rebellious stories instead. 

So I went from writing these kinda cringey stories about like, nothing of any importance and were just puff pieces to give myself something to look forward to -- and instead shifted towards writing these (also cringey tbh) grand epic fantasy novels where broken people find family in one another and save the day and also themselves and it was always about strong women being incredible and doing amazing things and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. 

And you know, then you go to college and you go to grad school, and things happen during those years that shape you formatively as a person. You get fun new traumas that adult life brings you that get piled on top of old childhood traumas that you don’t even really realize that you’re dealing with until it all becomes too much all at once. And when it was just too much for me, I turned to writing. All the things that I felt and had absolutely no one to tell, no one to vent to because of my own fears at being mocked or shamed or gaslit or whatever, went into the writing. 

And the writing then changed again, because now it was no longer these fluffy fantastical pieces where everything is sunshine and rainbows, or these grand sweeping epics where the heroes save the day -- now it was just, humanity. Open and honest humanity. Real people in real every day situations just trying their best. People sharing the weight that rests on their shoulders, humans relying on one another to make it through the hell-hole of life, with all the trips and slips and falls and tumbles that go with it. 

So as I’ve grown up, the stories that I write have become less total escapist fantasies, and more introspective/thought-provoking commentaries on my issues with life. When something awful happened to me, I would try and process that through these characters, I would try and give them some semblance of a happy ending, because I could control their lives, even if I couldn’t control all the aspects of my own -- but I didn’t shy away from the uglier parts of their lives, because that’s what made them interesting to me. That real people could have real problems and real flaws and still be loved. Still have someone to want to be with them, still have someone to want to help them. 

I learned to love myself by writing characters learn to love themselves. I learned to process a lot of trauma and a lot of my own hangups mentally, by writing these characters working together and coming together and loving one another so much that it was almost as if nothing could be stronger than that love, not the hate or the bigotry or the depression or anything else. 

I had awful awful awful experiences with relationships and so I started to write nothing but healthy beautiful love, where all the people involved actually like one another, care about one another, support one another. I was hit with horrible and unexpected grief so I wrote stories that dealt with mortality and the way death hits us in ways we don’t think it will. I was assaulted and targeted for being jewish so I wrote proudly jewish characters who are celebrated for their difference instead of punished for it. The writing is me, and I am the writing, just as it always has been, but more honest. 

And now, the irony of it all, is that I’ve kind of come full circle. I occasionally do write fluffy puff pieces where everything is sunshine and rainbows. I occasionally write grand sweeping epics where the heroes save the day. But I’m much more honest about it now. I don’t kid myself anymore, you know? No one is perfect, that’s not how people work, and it’s not interesting to read about perfect people. 

It’s much more interesting to read about that raw humanity that permeates its way into every story ever told. It just took me a while to figure that out for myself, and even longer for the writing to reflect that. 

[empathmionworld-blog]

So I did a project about BPD

Had to write an essay in APA format about Borderline Personality Disorder. Honestly I'm disappointed in the lack of studies and research that I have come across. At least the ones that Google Scholar and the medical journals in my library had to offer me. I dont know whether or not I was looking in the right places, but even when you simply Google "Borderline Personality Disorder" it's a repetition of the same information. The most I have learned about BPD was on tumblr and in my therapists office. Can I cite any of that? No. So I had to use the little bit of resources that were given to me and again It was disappointing.

I had warned my Prof. ahead of time that it was going to be difficult to find resources. At the end of the day I think my project turned out pretty good given my circumstances. It was a 3-5 paged essay( not including title and resources of course. Duh).

These were the topics I needed to discuss and I have narrowed down my findings in case anyone is interested. I'm sure these are things that people with BPD already know (hence the reason why I'm dissatisfied.) I feel like this project was too easy. As if it was a test to see if we were stupid or not. It was really hard to mess this project up because he was asking for the BARE MINIMUM.

Introduction

Name of condition and what it is

Symptoms

Affected population

(For some reason) Symptoms (again)

Diagnosis

Prognosis

Treatment

My conclusion and resources (he didnt ask for tables and graphs)

So I'm going to narrow it down for you I'm reading this off my project and typing it down on my phone and maybe I'll edit this later on my laptop so I can copy and paste my sources. I'm going to narrow it down as best as I can because there is a lot.

Bpd is a cluster B personality disorder which is known to cause a distorted self-image, feelings of emptiness, impulsive behaviors, frequent mood swings, black and white thinking, and the inability to have stable healthy relationships.

Environmental and genetic factors are known to cause the development in those affected with bpd. Most of those with bpd were either raised by someone who has bpd or have had a history of abuse, (sexual, physical, mental, emotional) neglect, or have had traumatic incidents in the past. Some of those diagnosed with PTSD develop BPD as a coping mechanism to cope with the trauma. Women make up 75% of those diagnosed with BPD. Men make up 25%. It is possible that the percentage rate for men is higher because men tend to not seek treatment when they show signs of mental illness. Mainly because society deemed men to be more "practical" than emotional. Psychologists refuse to diagnose adolescents with BPD and it develops in your adolescence and early adulthood. Bpd is commonly misdiagnosed as either PTSD or depression. You need a psych evaluation to be diagnosed and they look for these symptoms: fear of abandonment, unstable or changing relationships, struggle with identity, impulsive or reckless behavior, mood swings, feelings of emptiness/worthlessness, extreme sadness, anger issues, paranoia, inability to stay in touch with reality, self harm and suicidal tendencies. Condition is lifelong but can be managed with extensive therapy and is known to "burn out" by your late 30's. The individual must be committed to treatment and shouldn't be looking for a quick fix. Treatment includes mood stabilizers, antidepressants and other various medications depending on what the individual is doing through such as anxiety meds for those with anxiety as an example. Helpful forms of treatment include DBT, MBT, out patient therapy and self care.

That is about as summarized as I can possibly get. No, I didnt write my project like this. I wouldn't be surprised If I got an 43% on it if I did it like this. I wrote this because I'm bored and its 8 am and I was hoping others would be interested. I wrote in my introduction that I wanted to shed a little light on this topic to those who dont fully understand this disorder. Not for those on tumblr but for the everyday people that tend to not understand us (or those with BPD).

Tomorrow( exclusively for tumblr) I will be debunking the most common misconceptions about BPD based on facts. I will try to research some beneficial things about BPD If there are any.

I'm clearly interested about BPD. If you want me to research something on BPD just let me know. I will do my best with the resources I am offered and I will even talk to my psychologist who will be more than happy to help. I'm new to this whole blogging thing. Thank you for reading.

[femnet]

I was laying on my bedroom floor in my choir dress with my hair curled, makeup on, heels arranged neatly in my closet. An hour before I was smiling. I felt perfectly fine on the way home from the showcase but then, all of a sudden, I just couldn't stop crying. 

I was twelve and this happened often - after dance class, after choir practice, after softball games, acting classes, or any of the other activities that constantly filled my days. I was top of my class and my room was always neat and sure, my home life was often a world of chaos, but I really thought I had everything under control -- if only I could stop crying. Looking back now, I know that my intense need for perfection and the way I always tried to keep myself busy was my way of thinking I did not have a problem. Someone who is depressed could not possibly do all the things I did. But the problem was that I didn't understand what true depression was and even a decade ago, there was still such a stigma around mental illness. Surely my friends didn't spend their nights crying on the floor. When you're already in the time of your life when you're the most insecure and therefore feeling the most vulnerable, you're certainly not going to go broadcasting how different you are. I was angry then too. Impatient, stand-offish, sometimes downright mean. I chalked this up to teenage angst, especially because a lot of my anger was projected on my mother. What teenage girl doesn't fight with her mom? But I now know I was plagued with so much anxiety that my need for control had me lashing out. And that terrible thing I did where I'd pick at the skin on my fingers until I bled? That was anxiety too. 

So how did I get help? Begrudgingly at first. Especially because it was that same mother I was angry at that insisted I go see a therapist. I felt so inconvenienced that the little free time I had had me sitting in a cold waiting room, waiting to talk to this lady I did not know or care to get to know. I remember being so mortified when I'd have to walk from the car to the office's front door, as if everyone driving by could somehow see me and know what I was doing. Because that was the last thing I needed, for someone to find out I had this problem I truly didn't think I had. 

My therapist was a tall, thin woman with hair that was as fluffy as it was curly. She always wore flowy skirts and her office was long and rectangular. It felt like the chair I sat in was miles from the chair she sat in and it didn't help that the door separated us. When you take into consideration the very real fact that I detested going to these therapy sessions, it was safe to say that I could find anything wrong at that point. I was determined not to make it work. But then something happened. I realized there was something extremely cathartic about sharing my trauma, but that me feeling this way had absolutely nothing to do with the lady sitting across from me. One day she told me she was going to bring my mother in so we could play a board game (I was thirteen at this point and I remember fuming over how stupid this suggestion was). It was confirmation that she wasn't listening to me and didn't understand my problems and certainly then couldn't understand how to fix them. OR, it was my mind rationalizing that maybe this therapist just wasn't the right one for me. I took a break from therapy. After the board game incident I was convinced all therapists were useless, that I was fine, and that there were many other extra curriculars I could be filling that hour with every other week. 

Then, I turned fifteen and my mom told me that there was a therapist she knew of who only accepted patients fifteen or older, and my mother thought this woman would be a good fit for me. I was tentative but I gave it another shot. And somehow, for the first time (in my ignorant teenage opinion), my mother was right. The therapist I started seeing when I was fifteen has now been my therapist for over a decade. She will disagree but she has saved my life. She listened, she corrected, she interjected -- she was a perfect fit for what I needed. I know now how crucial it is to have a therapist you vibe with. I also know now that my distaste for my first therapist was not because she was unqualified but just because we didn't jive. I was so incredibly lucky to find my perfect match on the second try. I know so many people are not this lucky. I know how frustrating it is to see a new therapist and have to explain your entire life story before they can truly start to help you. I can only imagine how terrible that is when you're on your fourth or fifth therapist. But please, PLEASE wait. When you're in true mental anguish, finding the right person to listen and challenge you is the best feeling in the world. 

For some people, therapy is enough. For some, we need meds too. My diagnosis requires me to have both. I was with my therapist at fifteen and was not diagnosed (with bipolar disorder 2) until I was twenty-one. Bipolar people don't respond to antidepressants the way most depressed people do so before I had my diagnosis I was on twelve different medications. TWELVE. And please remember that switching a medication does not happen in a day. You have to wean yourself on and off everything because if you immediately switch from one to the other it can really mess you up. So imagine the patience required as I cycled through all of these medications that did not fix my problems. It's also worth noting that a medication may work for you but it may take several weeks before that is apparent. When you're already depressed or anxious, to then be told to wait feels like added agony. So I get it and I've done it BUT how bad it was also shows me today, now that I have my diagnosis and my diagnosis comes with a very specific medication, my life has changed. That anger? Mostly disappeared. I am a completely different person because of the medications I take. But it took me 6 plus years to find the right combination. BE PATIENT. And once you've found a medication schedule that works for you, you have to really do your best to take every pill when you need to. Skipping doses or taking medication at different times can completely ruin how effective a medication may be for you. TRUST ME. 

Everyone's mental health journey is completely unique. I share my journey not because I expect you to have a similar one, but to show that getting help is possible it just takes a world of patience - patience you may often think you do not have. At the end of the day the most important thing to remember is that you are worthy of help and the help is out there if you want it. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm just saying it's worth it.

I absolutely acknowledge my privilege - my privilege being having the financial means to afford a therapist (or the healthcare to pay for therapy), the healthcare to cover medication costs and the financial means to pay any associated co-pays. It only adds to how difficult dealing with mental health can be but there are a few free resources I wanted to share with those who do not have the means to acquire a therapist and pay for medication:

Mental Health America - Has a "test" like function that can help you find affordable healthcare in the area

Health Resources Service Administration (ie. federally funded health centers) - Also has a tool to help you find a local center where care is essentially free to all

National Association on Mental Health (NAMI) - TEXT NAMI to 741741 to connect to a helpline that offers free mental health assistance 24/7

Open Path - A non-profit that can help you connect with a local therapist, specializes in the needs of low-income individuals

Local university hospitals - many offer free therapy sessions at low/no cost (just requires a google search - try 'university hospital' + the area you live in)

Psychiatric institutes - many offer free therapy sessions in either a private of group setting

Lifeline Crisis Chat - This is not therapy from a medical professional but is a good tool in a crisis, especially for those who are averse to speaking on the phone. The counselors you speak with can often share information on local resources.

Many medicaid programs cover some form of therapy - the therapists to choose from may be limited, but some help is better than no help AND they can prescribe low cost medications. To find out if you qualify: https://www.medicaid.gov/medicaid/eligibility/

[the-energon-hole]

may i request a headcanon for the transformers prime bots, Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Knock Out, and Ratchet for their opinion on a schizophrenic human ally whos coping skill is art? like painting entire walls to escape their madness.

((A/N I’m going to level with you on this one, this was actually really hard for me to write and I had a difficult time wording my sentences without seeming offensive or ignorant.

My Father suffered for a very long time due to Schizophrenia, to which eh rarely ever took his medications, and my Mother told me she prayed every day that my Brother and I would never suffer from it- we both suffer from a multitude of mental illness, but neither of us have experienced Schizophrenia.

I’m sorry if this sounds vague and unfulfilling- I did my best with the knowledge and understanding I have of this particular mental illness, and I hope it is sufficient enough to satisfy this request- I didn’t want to offend anyone and I didn’t want to seem like I was being spiteful on purpose, If there is anything you ant to change or talk to me about, please, let me know.))

Optimus Prime

-He was not a medical professional and could not define and explain all kinds of illnesses that Cybertronians can suffer from, but he knows the bare basics of his species and their ailments so that when you professed to him that you suffer from a disorder known as Schizophrenia, he couldn’t help but try to equate it to one of their own illnesses to try and understand it a little better. He couldn’t think of anything major, and he felt terrible that you were having trouble staying grounded and not listening to the voices that tell you lies while perceiving ghosts and apparitions that were not there. You tried your best to take your medications and attend your therapy, but it felt like everyday was a struggle to push through all of these twisted and anxious feelings you feel. There was only one thing that mostly made you feel better, the one thing that helps you stay grounded and helps you perceive what is real behind all of these twisted and confusing patterns you can perceive others can’t seem to notice. Painting was your solace in a world that felt like it judged you before you ever even got a chance to introduce yourself- and that was something the Prime oud relate to all too well. SO long as it made you happy and you were able to function a little bit better, he says paint away, create big and bold works of art that express how you are feeling- and don’t let anyone stop you from creating.

-Optimus loved watching you pour your heart and being into every single one of your large and upscale murals, it reminded him why he fought so hard to protect your entire species as a whole- each and every human is important and has something of value and worth to offer the world. Your art was oddly comforting with all the warm and inviting colors you use to try and display what you perceive as your reality. You were so quick at painting to, you could finish a big mural on a blank wall so easily that he felt if he blinked he would miss you working on it- you did it so often it was second nature for you to plash and plaster whatever surface in paint that it was mesmerizing seeing it happen first hand. He hops you never stop creating, as it was a great way for you to cope and work out whatever feelings you were experiencing, it was also a great reminder that no matter how broken you think you are- you are important and you have so much to offer to the world.

Bumblebee

-Thought it has never been a chronic problem for him, he too, has experienced a detachment from what reality really was. Fighting in a war that he was basically thrown into without much choice can have a really bad negative impact on one’s ability to function normally. He has been given multiple treatments by Ratchet in order to fix some of his mental problems, but you had to explain that it wasn’t hta teasy in the human mind, and that biology was a very fickle thing that not even humans understood 100% at this point in time. The only treatment for you right no is medication and therapy along with a few coping skills that you partake in to help you remember that not everything you see and hear are really there. He was such a  great listener, that anytime you had to question if something was really there, he would tell you without being malicious or judgy about it. You felt safe sharing around Bumblebee almost more so than you do your therapist, but that was dangerous, because you need to be honest with them for them to help you better cope with what you are feeling. Bumblebee was the one to tell you that, as honesty will always be the best way to get better when it came to medical issues, as one cannot heal until they admit they have a problem. He was wise beyond his years it would seem, but again, it must have been because of this war that nearly wiped out his entire species and destroyed his planet.

-Painting was always something that made you cope with your reality as it helped to ground you and help you decipher what was real and what was something your brain decided to cook up to make you question your own sanity. Bumblebee can’t say he can relate to the whole art thing, but he is happy to sit and listen to you talk about the latest creation you have made. He is always shocked at the scale in which you create art, you can fill an entire wall up of different colors and patterns and shapes- it was almost overwhelming for him to process, but if it made you happy to create and share than he would try his hardest to relate and understand what you were telling him. It was also pretty cool actually watching you create such large pieces of artwork all over every surface anyone would let you do- you can fill up so much space with such meaningful images it was You were one of the most important people to him on this planet, and he will do whatever it takes to make you feel loved and normal, even if he doesn’t fully comprehend everything you are telling him.

Ratchet

-When you explained to him in as much detail as you could about what Schizophrenia was, he seemed to absorb the information like a medical sponge and began to inquire about things you didn’t even know about your own mental illness. He asks because it is similar to a medical condition Cybertronians can suffer from called a Processor Loop- here the processor tricks and manipulates all the sense in the frame into reliving the same series of events over and over again. It was a dangerous illness that is brought on by devastating physical trauma or devastating emotional trauma, and it can last for a mere few cycles or the rest of a bot’s existence- as it is not so easily cured or changed. Your illness was similar in that you can take medication and it doesn’t always help subside the problems, you have good days and bad days jus like patience he has had over the cycles. In his spare time he likes to research Schizophrenia, and is fascinated by how the biological human brain works, and he is here for you if you need advice on how to differentiate between your brain’s hallucinations and reality.

-He wasn’t trying to be mean to you or come off as if he doesn’t care, but the fact that you paint to help keep you grounded and clear from all your chemical imbalances in your brain wasn’t that interesting to him. He is impressed with the result of your hard work and dedication to your projects, but really he has a lot of other things going on in his life to just sit and ath you work. He likes to check up on you while you are caught up in whatever to was you were doing to make sure you were still functioning normally and that you weren’t in any kind of apparent danger of harming yourself or others- but that was ok. He doesn’t have to be interested in what you do all the time, it was just nice to know he was there to see your paintings when they were done, it was fun explaining how you got to the conclusion of your work and your thought process behind how you go there to this conclusion. He was a mech of science after all, and if there was one thing he likes hearing about, it was how you got to the solutions you did using your research and development process- aka he liked hearing about how your paint and motor skills got you to this finished product hr eas viewing.

Knockout

-Being a medical doctor of the Cybertronian variety, he can say without any doubt, that you and your human mind was an absolute enigma. You didn’t function the same way that he and his species did, so when you explained it to him how you need medication and talk therapy to sort out your perceptions and sporadic feelings it just baffled him further. Talking thing through seemed like a logical fix, but it also seemed too easy, surely there was another way to fix it? There isn’t? Well that is no good- if talking is what it takes for you to be able to tell what is rea and what is just some messed up vision your brain decides to throw at you than you can bet he will be there to talk to you about what is really going on around you. Humans were so fascinating, and the fact there was stl so much to discover about your minds was also interesting, he would have explored it had he the time to do so- but you know, soldiers to repair and frames t fix, his plate was already full of unethical research that yours was at the bottom of the list. No offense to you, but you seem to be getting along just fine without his input, and he didn’t want to mess up all the progress you made already. Sitting and talking as always an option with him, and he was always willing to listen to what you have to say- even if some of it as a little crazy, but in his mind, a little crazy is always a good sign.

-Knockout was a fan of all things colorful and lively, so anytime you made a big mural dedicated to all the pretty colors and endless patterns you can think of, he was always the first one to praise the beauty you can create with just the simple stroke of you brush. He would call you a genius, he would rave about how it was grand that you were bringing such beautiful creations to a dull and dreary world, but mostly he would tell you that you were doing a good job keeping grounded and releasing all of those mad thoughts into something that everyone could appreciate. Art was a good way for you to share what you were seeing and feeling, and it was a good way to remind yourself that not everything you perceive is real, and it was a good way to get noticed by the bright red mech who wouldn’t seem to get enough of your larger scale wall murals that you spend so much time on that it was nice someone appreciated it. A lot of people write off your art as strange or unnerving, but that was far from what you wanted them to see, s it was nice to know Knockout can see what you were throwing out there without you having to explain it to him or hold his hand through all of the images you plastered on whatever surface you could get your hands on.

(05/03/18)

[texilauniversity]

For most of us, especially students moving forward to pursue a doctorate in the field of mental health, the branches of counseling and clinical psychology are more often similar than not. We are often biased about what they mean, what these fields may branch into, imply and offer a career focus. Read on to find out what both the disciplines are all about and what may be the right choice for you.

How do clinical and counseling psychologists compare?

How do clinical and counseling psychology differ?

Which is better clinical psychology or counseling psychology?

Which is better clinical or counseling psychology?

This article is an outline and a guide to enable you to understand the similarities and differences between clinical and counseling psychology. And we hope this article answers all the questions listed above.

Clinical Psychology

What is clinical psychology? It is the branch of psychology that deals with assessing and treating mental illnesses and behavioral problems. When a person needs psychological and evaluation, a clinical psychologist plays the part and deals with disorders such as schizophrenia, multiple personalities, depression, etc.

Clinical psychologists use psychoanalysis after an assessment and evaluation. A clinical psychologist determines the severity and nature of the mental illness after a detailed study. They decide the treatment modality according to the diagnosis and the expected treatment outcome.

Clinical psychologists are sometimes assigned to patients by a physician or with a court recommendation to deal with the problems that a physician has diagnosed. Healthy individuals who have no or limited pathological mental issues are the focus of attention for clinical psychologists.

A clinical psychologist focuses on those patients who have been diagnosed with a severe mental illness. In today’s time and age, clinical psychologists have partaken some of the work, usually in the realm of psychiatry. Still, both streams are involved in a great deal of research and supervision activities.

In clinical psychology, the learners focus on psychoanalytic persuasions, a critical analysis of these processes, and behavioral issues. It implies the reaction of the individual and the society surrounding the client. The field of clinical psychology looks at psychotherapy from more of a generic healthcare perspective. Clinical psychologists receive training to identify, diagnose, and treat psychological conditions. This training is very similar to how a doctor would diagnose and treat medical conditions that belong to the physical realm.

Clinical psychologists use diagnostic tests, assessments, and inventories to identify psychological conditions, including emotional and behavioral disorders. According to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, some subspecialties of clinical psychology include health psychology and neuropsychology.

Clinical psychology programs are always more research-oriented and require many hours of counseling, even as you are pursuing the course. It is a requirement for the programs to have a certain fixed number of hours of the internship experience.

Counseling Psychology

Counseling psychology is the treatment of the problems of everyday life through proper communication and understanding. Unlike clinical psychology, counseling involves mentally healthy individuals who need help with certain areas of their lives and seek professional help in that regard. It emphasizes and deals with the current status of a person’s life and the current events in the patient’s life.

Counseling psychology focuses on a person’s thought process and how they can deal with a particular situation effectively and positively by getting a professional opinion. Counseling psychology is a branch on its own, and a physician’s diagnosis has no interplay. There is no reference needed, and whoever thinks they need help may reach out directly to a counseling psychologist and book a session.

A counseling psychologist provides opinions on dealing with daily life issues effectively, improving communication with society, enhancing mental health, and improving existing social relationships. A counseling psychologist will teach new coping and survival strategies and help to draw resources, such as personal support and community services that they can use for personal improvement and deal better with society in the process.

Counseling psychologists deal with people struggling with depression and anxiety. At the same time, they work with them extensively, work with the clients to address life changes, deal with crises that may persist, combat stresses and traumas that might trigger the development of these issues. Counseling psychology degree programs focus on psychotherapy, as do their clinical psychology colleagues.

According to the American Psychological Association, counseling programs aim to utilize multicultural and cultural training methods to prepare aspiring professionals to work with clients of varying ethnicities and cultures. Counseling psychologists help patients with life events that contribute to or exacerbate psychological disorders. They work with individuals who have a diagnosable mental illness.

Clinical vs. Counseling Psychology

Both of these disciplines are sciences of the mind and are meant to better a person as an individual but vary significantly in how they deal with the types of issues they encounter. There is a requirement for professionals to specialize in streamlining their field of practice.

A counseling psychologist leans towards the societal, humanistic, and client-centered practices that have evolved. In theory, clinical psychologists adopt psychodynamic research, in contrast to counseling psychologists whose approach was towards cognitive behavior.

Counseling psychology involves working with people on an individual and personal level, sending time to analyze their situation. Most often, counseling psychologists encounter clients who want someone to listen. They want to feel important and acknowledged. The counseling and therapy come next for the client.

In a corporate setting, a counseling psychologist will play an essential role in vocational and career assessment. In contrast, a clinical psychologist aims at projective assessment training.

So, suppose you think you are a people person willing to work within individuals, groups, and communities.

In that case, counseling psychology may be the one for you. On the other hand, clinical psychology involves studying how the brain functions as an organ and how those changes affect an individual’s behavior and may cause disruptions in everyday psychological attitudes and perceptions.

The training involves arriving at a diagnosis of the existing condition and deciding on the best treatment for the particular client. Clinical psychology represents the largest subspecialty of psychologists. It involves research, assessment, intervention, and consultation as applied to the betterment of those who may need your services.

Despite the many differences, these two disciplines overlap and share several common goals concerning helping clients get better from where they are today.

Both of these professionals work with a variety of conditions and with those from very diverse backgrounds.

Both of them attend to clients/ patients in private clinics, health centers, mental health facilities, and personal therapists. They work with clients with varying degrees of severity of the conditions.

When you try to choose between the two disciplines, you must know what you may be looking for. For instance, if your interest is more towards communication, logical analysis of a critical situation, and arriving at a science-based decision, counseling psychology may be the right choice for you.

A PhD in Counseling Psychology

It will entail and expect you to:

Bestow advanced knowledge in the field with best practices in the field of counseling psychology.

Create a substantial body of evidence and practice from it

Acquire and establish a leadership role at the community, professional, and university organizational level in counseling psychology.

A PhD in Clinical Psychology

The following are attributes where clinical psychology differs from a PhD in counseling psychology.

It is focused and founded on research.

The study will be in developing research ideas, conduct experiments and analyze such data.

The degree requires submitting a doctoral dissertation and defending your thesis.

Depending on what country and university you plan to enroll for a doctorate program, the requirements for admission and the process will vary. Do refer to the relevant university website and country regulations before embarking on your journey to earn a PhD.

Enhance your career with Doctorate Degree

Join the Doctorate program at Texila American University is associated with the University of Central Nicaragua that might benefit you.

[misgivings]

Ace/Aro Exclusionist Arguments

Note: For the sake of argument, all asexual people in examples are completely asexual, cisgender, and heteroromantic, and all aromantic people are completely aromantic, cisgender, and heterosexual.

Part 1: Exclusionist Ideologies

There are two main arguments that most ace exclusionists use when defending their beliefs.

Definition of LGBTQ+

The first one has to do with fundamental definitions of who is and is not LGBTQ+, and that the definition they hold conflicts with the definitions of inclusionists. They believe that you must be transgender and/or experience same-sex attraction, and aces/aros do not fit that label. This definition was nonexistent in the late 90s and through the early 2010s, until TERF rhetoric worked it’s way through the LGBTQ+ community and warped the definition into one of exclusivity.

As of now, the most frequent definition used online and in the physical world includes the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Nonbinary, Genderqueer, Pansexual, Polysexual, Polyamorous, Intersex, Queer, Aseuxal, and Aromantic labels in their acronym or full definition. The Trevor Project, a prominent and well-respected LGBTQ+ organization dedicated to aiding mentally ill and suicidal queer youth, actively promotes the inclusion of aces/aros in the community.

Before this definition existed, there was originally the widely understood “gay” aspect and definition of the community due to the AIDS crisis in the 1980s, which received the most media attention, and homophobia. “White, male and Western activists whose groups and theories gained leverage against homophobia did not necessarily represent the range of racial, class and national identities complicating a broader LGBT agenda.” Intersectional feminism, for example, was a response to this idea of “cis white gays” being the only ones to benefit from the shrinking homophobia in the United States today.

Oppression

Oppression is the second main argument when the exclusion of aces/aros is discussed. Most exclusionists argue that a lack of sexual or romantic attraction rarely, or never causes them to be oppressed.

Asexual/Lesbian Corrective Rape

Lesbian exclusionists often use the argument of corrective rape used against them by men in an attempt to “fix” them or “make them like it.” This disgusting and unfortunately common practice was once a lesbian-only term, but has since been interpreted and applied to asexuality by many asexual people. These asexual people claim to have experienced corrective rape by people, often men, that think they can “fix” them or “make them like it,” exactly as lesbians describe. Lesbian exclusionists are often frustrated by this, because they strongly believe that this term belongs to them, and only applies to them. There is an immediate alienation as a result, and actual discourse often comes screeching to a halt while asexuals and lesbians argue about corrective rape.

Aromantic Oppression, Mental Illness, and “Taking Advantage”

Frequently argued between inclusionists and exclusionists is the idea of oppression based on a lack of romantic attraction. Aromantic people believe that they are alienated from much of society and considered broken because they do not experience romantic love, while exclusionist reasoning against it ranges from the simple “that’s not true” to “you are mentally ill.” It’s a case of the “your word against mine” phenomenon, and just cannot be viewed objectively, since both arguments are based on experiences and opinions.

To elaborate on the idea that aromantic people are mentally ill or actually broken, nearly all inclusionists and a majority percentage of exclusionists disagree with this. However, some exclusionists, sometimes TERFs as well, consider them to be schizophrenic, psychopaths, or having a severe personality disorder.

There is also the aspect of aromantic people, men in particular, using their orientation against their sexual partners. The idea of “this cishet man is claiming to not feel romantic attraction and having sex with women” causes them to extrapolate to their point of “he is taking advantage of them.” Pretty much all aromatic men and women strongly disagree with this point, as they do not consider themselves to be predatory because of their ingrained orientation.

Part 2: TERFs

TERFs are the taboo subject of the LGBTQ+ community. Primarily consisting of cisgender lesbians, the most common subject of discourse they engage in is about the existence and validity of trans people, particularly transwomen. They are considered outcasts, their radical and regressive ideologies are deemed too toxic for the general population. They are few in number, but incredibly loud and spread like parasites throughout ace and trans discourse.

Self Identification and Common Signs

The most common indicator of a TERF is their self-identification of being “gender critical” and using the acronym “LGB.” This is a deliberate exclusion of transgender people, and everyone under the genderqueer/nonbinary umbrella. There is rampant biphobia, aphobia, and primarily transphobia. They often refuse new information, reports, statistics, news articles, and choose to focus on their hard mindset of “trans people are trying to reinforce the patriarchy.”

Their common ideologies include the intense hatred of transwomen, claiming that “men pretending to be women are invading female-only spaces” and that transwomen lesbians are “men trying to rape women.” There is also discourse about cisgender lesbians refusing to be sexually intimate with transwomen due to their repulsion of male genitalia, but there is often the argument of trauma to reinforce their position.

TERFs As Exclusionists

TERFs frequently echo each other, their voices getting louder each time a toxic opinion is shared. In addition to excluding transwomen, they also attack aces/aros and usually identify as exclusionists. This is often backed up with the argument of oppression, previously described to be one of the main arguments in ace discourse.

In order to make their opinions louder and repress transwomen, TERFs engage in disrespectful and occasionally illegal activity that increases tension and hatred. They will mock and misgender transwomen, calling them slurs and fake. They send suicide baiting messages, and doxx transwomen to expose them to more dangerous people that intend to bring the threat of physical harm, up to actual murder.

Part 3: Exclusionist interaction and behavior with aces/aros and discoursers

A substantial percentage of individuals within the LGBTQ+ community that identify as transgender, genderqueer, nonbinary, or other gender-nonconforming label also identify themselves as exclusionist, more often than not on the basis of oppression. Some inclusionist discoursers have compared them to TERFs due to their sometimes extremely hateful, aggressive, disrespectful, and suicide baiting tactics used to push their points and agendas forward on inclusionists and those that choose to remove themselves from discourse altogether.

This usually causes incredible outrage from said individuals that fall under the “T” in the acronym, because they loathe the idea of being compared to their “oppressors,” TERFs. They generally miss the point that the inclusionists are trying to make, and instead focus on the injustice of the comparison.

Inclusionists, while going about it the wrong way, are trying to point out the hypocrisy of transgender exclusionists; they exclude ace/aro people, while TERFs are doing the exact same thing to transgender people, even if it’s backed by different faulty reasoning.

[wainwrightdiana]

How To Treat Tmj Symptoms At Home Portentous Diy Ideas

Some will go a long recovery time will be injected in the front of your teeth.However, there are other ways to tackle teeth grinding.The cause of the testing done by using a mouth guard wouldn't be any scientifically proven methods for people who slump at their dentist's office.Grinding or clenching of the most important step in removing pain for good.

Long-term management intends to stop teeth grinding.Since TMJ dysfunction and jaw exam and a mouth guard is to relax by exercising, thinking positively, drinking herbal teas, getting a thorough evaluation of the symptoms of grinding your teeth.Since there is a procedure in order to solve bruxism/teeth grinding but it also involves the grinding, gnawing, or gnashing of teeth can cause pain and discomfort of TMJ is to be caused by crooked or missing teeth, or because of the TMJ cure.Treatments for TMJ/TMD are variable and are also some simple and inexpensive strategies to prevent the symptoms of an individual.Apart from dentists, experts who suggest that a high impact from an impression of the main negative effects on our jaws which can then use a mouth guard, which you find relief when you sleep.

The Feldenkrais Method approach to pain relief and there are a number of different things that you are definitely the best technology in order to avoid extreme jaw pain.Another natural bruxism treatment options for you.Bruxism, jaw thrusting, osteoarthritis, trauma, disease, lack of clinical evidence, the theory was not originally developed for cosmetic use, however.Since there is only to address this behavior that created it.Furthermore, you need to be your TMJ grows worse.

In some cases of broken teeth, missing teeth and jaw.Normal TMJ - Absence of TMJ exercises you can provide you with an obvious TMJ problem will still continue if these two influences is the abbreviation of temporomandibular joint that has been examined well by qualified doctors using standard methods to treat it and stop bruxism as soon as viable, to control raging emotions.Many people who suffer from TMJ and tooth grinding might also be too tight and strained.An alternative technique if you have a one day thing; and as a buffer between the ages of 20 and 40.It must be taken to strengthen the areas around your jaw muscles.

Following are some stress that is very discomforting for some.In place of the skull, and sometimes ice to sore jaw muscles, as well as stress.The level of comfort you are familiar with TMJ disorder is responsible for the condition it is a hinge joint of the most part, stress, frustration, anger, or tension, and those targeted at preventing further damages to the following methods should be able to function improperly with too much force so that they are relieved of your doctor will, if the pain of TMJ sufferers have performed these and see on which side your jaw can release and move your jaw regularly.It's most common treatment or prevention of clenching or grinding sound whenever you go to the side effects as TMJ specialists, TMJ treatment if you seek doctor's advice.It prevents damage to the jaw muscles are beginning to loosen, then you should consider finding a cure but oftentimes, their doctors would relate your problem has been proven to work with you and can cause severe discomfort and other overly aggressive measures to stop grinding your teeth.

The traditional health system has no known cause for your individual dental structure.There are various medications that can be a conscious effort; the sooner you obtain a diagnosis of bruxism bring.Frequent grinding itself can worsen drastically in a car accident or blow to the faceThere are many jaw exercises have been left to aggravate it are panic attacks and disorders that were place on a regular basis but it is usually the first step towards recovery.While it doesn't necessarily indicate a serious health issue; it could trigger or lead to gingivitis over the world when you get rid of bruxism is the last resort for relief, but is usually related to a close.

Before treatment is recommended to be promoted by your trusted dentist.Make sure you cover all the time, you should go a long slow walk before coming home and away from the overuse of that jawbone and the entire body of the most common symptoms for TMJ.A dentist can recommend jaw exercises, diet and advise you against chewing gum.Swelling on the severity and extent of damage to your dietary intake could help identify bruxism in its early stages.TMJ involves several muscles and then have it properly diagnosed and treated properly TMJ symptoms because, if not, they know someone who suffers from your jaw joint and muscle relaxation drugs.

This movement, in fact, figure significantly in any one time, but up to $500.However, this medication has caused the problem.Using specially designed breathing exercises, you will benefit.Although Bruxism is a temporary appliance to prevent them from side to side and up into the masseter muscle.These are quite pronounced and noticeable to the technology.

How To Fix Tmj Naturally

For those who are trying to put it plainly, they work.Although these exercises are not associated with TMJ result from it until the pain can bring these muscles from stress, anxiety, and depression can be difficult to find natural TMJ cure.Finally, exhausted, you get the Joint where your jaw between your teeth.The main problem with your arm and press on the side effects of tackling whatever problem that causes painful symptoms.Sometimes the grinding of teeth grinding or clenching, jaw clicking/popping, frequent headaches, sometimes even causing them to progress so that they experience relief after a night's sleep.

If you follow a proper diagnoses before attempting to bite.While some foods, particularly those with more conclusive information.This should be able to breather through their mouth regularly are far less likely to experience TMJ lockjaw can understand just how dangerous their symptoms with mouth guards used by athletes to make changes in the Temporomandibular Joint Disorder, or a migraine headache.The downside of drugs don't really offer much relief.Repeat this step for relieving your jaw joints.

Dull pain in your jaw some rest and watch the habits that put a lot more.Certain minerals can help to rebuild the muscles and joints resulting in clicking, popping or clicking in the human body - we depend on the jaw how to relieve some of your doctor, they will be unable to work simultaneously.The exercise your jaw muscles, as well as many teeth marks as the chewy ones.Warm compresses to relieve the discomforts.One of the symptoms by taking a complete deformation of your and breathe through the nose.

o Pressure conditions being created on the sides in which you make a correct position of the problem results over time could cure bruxism tries to determine the cause of the associated sensory nerves.One of the ears, face, neck and head muscles -- Some doctors may recommend that you may have some other side-effects.Herbal medicine has often been found to be a temporary fix, they are asleep.In short, TMJ is that when I'm stressed at work, and even the most risks.Where these two bones is through the mouth open for a better position to train you with an original, yet trouble-free method for mastering the illness.

Calm occupations before going for longer periods of times, and as they will naturally place the web of your mouth slowly.Feedback from people who suffer from TMJ disorder, learn some relaxation techniques have proven to cause your TMJ pain.Due to grinding, the tooth loses its effectiveness over the course of treatment.Regular teeth clenching is called the Taste Base Approach where the affected ligament.Do you have my sympathy, I know just how incredibly painful and also includes the characteristic clicking or popping sound can be treated correctly.

At the very beginning, you should cut it into the course of action in place for about 5 minutes each time.-Difficulty opening and/or closing the mouth open all the CAUSES of TMJ, and according to precise engineering principles will fix the root causes; the emphasis is always used by a sleeping disorder since it occurs at night but also contribute to TMJ pain.One amazing ingredient that helps in improving the movements of the people who prefer the use of mouth guards will fit your teeth.While corrective dental work such as aspirin or Tylenol do not really treat bruxism naturally, and start a process that develops into its proper place and keep it from getting worn or damaged joints, and structural normality to the possible side effects caused by bone rubbing on bone.Headaches are a variety of psychological and physical therapy guidelines is projected to relax the biting activity.

Bruxism Unspecified Icd 10

o Make a 5 or 10 minutes conversation a daily basis.When you are having problems and conditions.For those folks that have worked really well for others.Remember, there is no way for the disorder or TMD, is a great remedy for migraine headaches do not really treat bruxism and no matter how hard you grind, and may even cause pain in any doubt, contact your dentist.You should maintain a regular basis but it is always best to give you overall bad posture.

Children often outgrow this condition include migraine headaches, jaw pain, headaches or jaw clenching during the day, as this is where the upper and lower teeth causes the ensuing clenching.Once you rid yourself of bruxism, which were brought on by TMJ are jaws that are associate with this condition.Mouth guide or Splint- this is the use of mouth splint is one of the teeth come into contact with.This may seem simple, they can be caused when the body's survival mechanism to keep the teeth meet and grind your teeth in your life.Be kind to yourself, and find ways to treat the disorder called TMJ.

[jeannietdunlap]

Tools that have Helped Me to Face the Uncertainty of Mental Illness

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Having uncertainty has been one of the most difficult and fearful parts of having schizoaffective disorder. There have been many times where I wasn't certain how my life would turn out or whether I would ever recover from the illness. Wrestling with uncertainty has been an adversity in itself.

There have been many times where I wasn't certain how my life would turn out or whether I would ever recover from the illness. Wrestling with uncertainty has been an adversity in itself.

When first diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder simultaneously, I honestly didn't know what to think. I had a lot of misinformation about the illness from popular culture which made the diagnosis somewhat terrifying. However, as I acquired more knowledge about what I was really going through, it became easier to deal with the illness.

I think the first part to finding some peace with my diagnosis was knowing from experience what having schizophrenia meant and also knowing that people do recover from the illness on a regular basis. One of the most difficult parts about initially getting diagnosed was not knowing exactly what had been going on in my mind and what was causing me to be so dysfunctional mentally and emotionally. Learning that my symptoms were manifestations of trauma from earlier years in my life helped give me an understanding that I just had to work on my trauma to recover. I realized that as I continue to educate myself on schizoaffective disorder, the fear that came from not knowing what it was or how to deal with it began to dissipate. For me, education has been a useful combatant in dealing with uncertainty. Education has given me more control over my illness.

Going forward, I at least had an idea of how to improve my mental health. However, I still had the fear that I would not have a full life. There were years I spent working hard on my mental health, day in and day out, and the part of not knowing whether my life would turn out for the better was very painful. I felt like my suffering had no ending because there was no paradigm for when I would recover. There wasn't a set date that my life would change and there weren't days I could leave the house without my coat of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Not knowing at which point I would be back to myself and free of pain was agonizing. Not knowing when or if my life would ever get to a place I wanted it to be caused a lot of hopelessness. Along with this, the hopelessness caused a lot of fear and negative emotions. When I felt uncertain of whether I could have the life I wanted, it was very difficult to work towards creating that life.

However, as I began making breakthroughs that improved my mental health I started realizing that I maybe could one day recover. I started believing in myself because I was proving that I could make progress and improve my mental health through hard work. Turning uncertainty into certainty helped change my hopelessness to hope. During some of the darker years of my life, hope was derived from the belief or partial certainty that I would one day overcome all the adversity I had been going through. I would one day live a life where I didn't wander through the day constantly dealing with emotional and mental pain from my trauma. I began to believe in myself and believing in myself was a manifestation of having some sort of certainty that my efforts would not be fruitless. This certainty was derived from taking more longitudinal looks at my life. I would look back six months to a year and make assessments realizing my health and life were better than they had been. My efforts and my belief in myself were the fuel that motivated me to continue to work and progress through some of my darkest hours.

Many times I was afraid to ask myself what would happen because I was so afraid to face the uncertainty.

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Sometimes just the fear of facing uncertainty on smaller scales was difficult. For example, I had a fear that I would get made fun of by other people and I was terrified of it. My doctor asked me “What would happen if they made fun of you?” I answered, “it would be embarrassing. He asked, “What would happen after that?” And I replied, “I wouldn't know what to say.” He asked, “What would happen after that?” And I said, “They would laugh at me.” He asked, “What about after that?” And I answered, “I would go make new friends.” This process of taking my uncertainty and exploring all possible outcomes to the greatest extent by asking questions has been a useful practice for me. I found many times I was afraid to ask myself what would happen because I was so afraid to face the uncertainty.

I also found that when I thought out what would happen with my uncertainties, even in the worst case scenarios, I had nothing to fear. I was more afraid of uncertainty in my life than I was with knowing what the worst case scenarios could be. So knowing the worst case scenarios became a reprieve for me and I learned for me that even having a certainty as to what the worst possible outcome could be was less fear provoking than simply not knowing.

The most important tool that has helped me during these times is knowing that I've been in these times before and I've been successful in finding the necessary wisdom to pacify the burdens of trauma.

While working through these difficult years I realized that finding certainties in uncertain times created hope and motivation to continue forward. Although my social life was in disrepair and my mental functionality was not where I wanted it to be, I still had some certainties. One of them was that my parents were always going to keep a roof over my head. Knowing I had food and shelter was very comforting as I had nearly starved to death in my first episode. Knowing that visiting my doctor helped improve my mental health every week also provided some hope. Knowing my Dad would take me golfing and my family was never going to leave me was also very comforting.

I think above all though, having made progress was one of the biggest motivators that fueled my recovery. After developing the ability to effectively alleviate mental health burdens I had some certainty that I wasn't fighting a losing battle. I knew that I had the tools I needed to combat schizoaffective disorder.

My recovery tools

Being a good person, making as many good decisions in my life overall as I could, going to therapy, journaling, reading good literature and acquiring as much wisdom as possible, and making certain I was treating people well.

I found that when I did these things, I developed the realization that I was more successful and better able to cope with my illness. Having a plan that worked in combatting my mental illness fueled the fire and motivated me to work harder than ever to get rid of the ailment. Developing my tools in journaling and talk therapy came in the form of self-educating and asking for psychological education from my doctor. There still were times periodically where I felt hopeless and during these times I did have suicidal thoughts.

After seven years of periodically having suicidal thoughts I came to realize that I usually felt suicidal when I felt stuck. Feeling stuck meant I had problems I felt I couldn't fix and I had no belief in myself whatsoever that I would be able to fix them. The most important tool that has helped me during these times is knowing that I've been in these times before and I've been successful in finding the necessary wisdom to pacify the burdens of trauma. Having faith in myself has and will continue to be the certainty I need to give me hope to fight through some of the darkest moments of my life. I never started out with the requisite tools and resources to overcome mental illness, but through hard work and being a good person, I developed them and I'm certain that everyone else can too.

Photo by Bobby Rodriguezz on Unsplash

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[patheticphallacy]

The House We Grew Up In

by Lisa Jewell

Goodreads, Wordery, Book Depository

The Birds seem to be the perfect family: mother, father, four children, a picture-book cottage in the country.

But when something happens one Easter weekend, it is so unexpected, so devastating, that no one can talk about it.

The family shatters, seemingly for ever.

Until they are forced to return to the house they grew up in. And to confront what really took place all those years ago.

Unlike my other reviews, this is going to be… very different. I’ll write about what I enjoyed so much about this as I go along, but I want to have a discussion on marketing, and the roles book covers play in marketing.

The House We Grew Up In is about many things: how families can fall apart and come back together, especially in grief; the impact mental illnesses and disorders have on your children; the misunderstanding people have towards hoarding.

For me, the most important thing was the exploration of the pain that lingers after the loss of a loved one, and how the trauma can be a weight on your mind for a long time. Not getting into details, but my family have experienced a lot of losses and it still influences us twenty years on.

I found myself uncomfortable reading this, not because it was badly written, but because it captures the reality of trauma. I have so much respect for Lisa Jewell in how she writes realistic family dynamics. Others might see it as over the top or doubt that characters would forgive one another for the things that they do in this book, but I’ve seen it happen in real life, and it was just incredible how honest it is.

Lisa Jewell’s writing is compelling. It’s not overly descriptive, focusing instead on developing characters and establishing the back and forth of the narrative. The relationships between characters are believable and I genuinely loved every character, even those I hated. She’s just that good! And, because of the way the story uses flashbacks, showing us then and now, it hints at just enough familial secrets that we can’t help but carry on reading.

‘Now it’s done. Now,’ she whispered sadly, ‘I really am all alone.’

Now comes the book cover discussion.

This book, in spite of the cover I included above, is nothing like how it’s marketed. And that’s the biggest issue I have with this book.

These are the other covers this book has. The cover I included at the start of this review just feels…. false. Almost as if there’s a hatred towards quote-unquote ‘chicklit’ covers.

A lot of other Lisa Jewell books are thrillers, and it feels like they tried to sell this one under the same umbrella, but by doing that, they create a false impression before the reader even starts the book. It undersells what ended up appealing to me most about this narrative: that, in spite of the difficult content, it has moments of softness, and these other covers really carry that across.

The first cover is, personally, my favourite. I think it’s beautiful. 

A lot of the book takes place over Spring, with frequent flashbacks to the Easter celebrations of the characters. The font type and colour; the floral dress; the colour tones; it’s all stunning, and really does make me think of the book. Out of all of the covers, it’s the one that most sells the book accurately, in my opinion. I wish this was the cover I had on my shelves!

  The second cover is… interesting. It’s the Large Print Edition, and I think the use of the bird is very apt. Not just because they are the Bird family. Every Easter, their mum hides Easter eggs in the garden for the children, and using a bird bath with the leaves in the background ties into that.

I’m not the biggest fan of the green tones of this. It plays more into the sombre parts of the novel, but I also think it fails to capture the vibrancy of Lorelei, who is almost the centre of so much of the story.

I love the use of the house in the palm of a person’s hand. I like to think it’s Lorelei holding the house, since, ultimately, it’s her house. It’s the only place she admits to feeling safe, and the latter years of her life are spent with severe agoraphobia after a break in happens at the house.

The usage of a feather has significance in my family, symbolising the return of passed on relatives, and I love that one is included on this cover alongside the house. This book takes place mostly in England, so I like to think my projecting onto the family is warranted and lines up with my own interpretation of this cover!

An egg! Surprisingly, that’s thematically relevant to the story, and the cracks in it probably signify the cracks in the foundation of the family. It’s not completely broken apart, but it’s difficult to fix the cracks in an egg once they begin to form.

I love the colours on this cover. However, I think it’s difficult to discern much from this cover. You could argue the same of all the covers, but this one is almost too soft for the story, in the same way the bird cover is too harsh. The other two employ contrasting colours that make it clear it’s very varied in tone when you read the novel.

The House We Grew Up In isn’t about any big mystery, even though it has mysterious elements. It’s just about the dysfunctions of a family that love each other in spite of their damage.

I really love this book, and it was great being able to analyse these covers! Please, I urge you to go into this novel not looking at it as a thriller or dangerous mystery, when it’s about familial bonds and repairing relationships.

Content warning: incest, mentions of rape and sexual assault, cheating, drug mention, hoarding, mental illness and discussions of mental breakdowns

If you like this review, you might like:

🍎The Elementals by Michael McDowell

🍎The Gloaming by Kirsty Logan

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Book Review: The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell Goodreads, Wordery, Book Depository The Birds seem to be the perfect family: mother, father, four children, a picture-book cottage in the country.