#you should watch it for Drew Barrymore
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cobra kai, but make it a Wedding Singer!AUz but like, the 1998 Adam Sandler rom-com.
i donât have a full thought for this, but i just think Wedding Singer!AU, but itâs Johnny falling in love with Carmen while heâs supposed to be helping her prepare for her wedding with a fiancĂŠ that sheâs not sure is right for her anymore.
Johnny is a wedding singer. he takes small gigs of any kind, really â mostly bc heâs got *awful* reviews. he shows up late, gets drunk, and his singing is⌠yeah. that being said, heâs pretty beloved by some people. old ladies think heâs a riot and if heâs on his best behavior, kids and teens think heâs the coolest guy (mostly bc he encourages them to say cuss words).
if he were reliable (or maybe stopped getting into fights with the catering), heâd be pretty successful!!
Carmenâs fiancĂŠ is proving to be a useless asshole, so Johnny is there for every cake tasting, every meeting with the wedding planner, picking up the dress, etc. everything bc Carmen asked for his support bc he seemed like a nice friend to have. all the while, Johnnyâs just some deadbeat guy that isnât sure about this âheart of goldâ aspect that Carmenâs family thinks he has.
he gets along well with her son, Miguel, and her mother. Miguelâs probably the one that convinces Johnny to confess since itâs becoming more and more obvious to everyone that Carmenâs fiancĂŠ is terrible.
as a note, i want to believe that Johnny lives in his shitty apartment from the show. his relationship with Robby is rocky, but decent enough that Robby comes to stay every other weekend. heâs another factor in Johnny chasing after Carmen in the end.
bonus trope: Miguel and Robby scheming as a team to get their parents together. it benefits both of them. Carmen brings out the best in Johnny and Carmen is happy with someone that actually respects her and her family. itâs a win-win.
bonus points!!! Billy Idol still shows up and Johnny gets to have the sickest confession ever.
#cobra kai au#johnny lawrence#carmen diaz#spoilers for the 1998 movie wedding singer#thereâs no karate#just johnny getting the romcom romance that he deserves#bruh i love carmen#just as a note i love miguelâs mom and yaya so dearly#a rare moment of me loving canon heterosexual ships#this is my favorite movie#you should watch it for Drew Barrymore#cobra kai#cobra kai johnny#cobra kai carmen
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I was wondering if you could write Astarion having to tend to a very cuddly drunk female Tav. Possibly having to defend her from other people trying to take advantage of her.
This took me on a very sad adventure
TW - blood and gore, attempted sexual assault, drinking
Recommended Song: Drew Barrymore - SZA
The nice thing about no longer being on wild adventures full of tadpoles and cultists is that you and Astarion can go out drinking like normal people. While your vampiric lover thoroughly enjoys a good glass of wine, he usually stops himself at one. Perhaps he's a little paranoid about you, your safety, but he insists not to have more than one when the two of you are out together. At the house? Sure, he'll finish two bottles with you, the two of you drunkenly laughing by the fireplace, but not when danger could be afoot. You try to tell him he's just anxious, tense, that you'll be alright.
"I'd rather just make sure my love. You indulge all you want darling, I'll be fine."
In one of the more rowdy taverns, you and Astarion sit at a table off to the side, watching people get drunk and dance, bumping into strangers, sometimes fights ensue. As per usual, he nurses his singular glass. You look at him, a gleam of sadness in your eyes.
"Are you sure you don't mind? I can just skip out tonight, maybe we can just drink later, when we get back."
"Nonsense, have your fun my sweet. I insist."
You squeeze his hand.
"Alright then, I'm off to get my second... you can tell me to stop anytime!"
You tease as you slowly walk away, almost backing up into a nearby half-orc. He simply smiles at you, one of those smiles that says everything he's thinking, how he thinks you're precious, how he'd gladly never get drunk again if it meant keeping you. Years ago, he would've never given up a vice for some person. But you, you make this feeling well up in his chest, like he has to hold you close at all times, worried someone will snatch you when he's not looking. You may make fun of him for simply being a paranoid person, but you made it a million times worse.
"I'm back!"
Your voice draws out, and you return with two mugs of beer instead of just the one.
"Already going for three darling? You do remember you're a lightweight, right?"
"I'll be fine. Besides, Mr. Knight in Shining Armor is here to take me home if I throw up on someone."
You lie against his arm, starting on your second drink.
"You did eat before we left the house, right my sweet?"
You look up at him silently. He just sighs, running his hand through your hair.
"Then why did you need to go to the kitchen before we left?"
You giggle a little.
"To... pre-game!"
The laughter rings out of your throat as Astarion sighs, again, more annoyed this time.
"So you're telling me-"
"Already gettin' drunk Aster, it's a great time."
The more and more you talk, the more he realizes your words are becoming more slurred. Perhaps he should've asked before you left, made sure you at least grabbed a bite.
"Alright, you stay right here, I'm going to get you some water and a little snack."
He gets up, swiftly grabbing the two mugs off the table while you protest.
"Hey, I wasn't done with those!"
As Astarion makes his way to the bar, asking for the classic drunkard's care package, he's suddenly nervous. Had you ever been this drunk in public before? Maybe the two of you should just go home, before you somehow get your hands on any more alcohol. After thanking the barkeep for the water and some bread, he comes back through the crowd, and sure enough you have left the table.
"Gods damn it Tav."
After setting down what was supposed to be your little pick-me-up, Astarion quickly moves through the groups of people, knowing you probably just got up to dance. The bard playing tonight was quite excellent after all. However, after looking through most of the common space, you're nowhere to be found. That feeling of panic starts to well up inside of him, where he's only driven by fear. He knows you can't be far, but he also knows most of the tavern-goers here are slimy, horrific people looking for their next bag of gold. Walking through the crowd again, Astarion comes near the back entrance, and hears a conversation down one of the abandoned hallways.
"A gal like you, surprised you're here alone."
He rounds the corner, seeing you and a bulky half-elf, your arms pinned above your head. You seem nervous, but not conscious enough to realize anything is truly wrong. Astarion stalks up behind the wretched man, wrapping his dagger around the half-elf's throat.
"No so alone anymore, are we?"
Your captor surprisingly doesn't stand down.
"You won't do shit. People know me around here, important people, they'd surely have your head if something happened to me."
"Not if I hide your body well enough. And trust me, I have experience."
The two of them are un-moving for a moment as your wrists start to go numb from the pressure. You groan in pain, only causing the half-elf to grab you tighter. As Astarion goes to press his blade into the man's neck, he whips around, pushing Astarion back. Gods, he's tall. You fall back against the wall, trying to nurse the pain in your hands. As Astarion and the stranger fight, you hear the sounds of blades colliding, but your head is spinning. Perhaps he was right about the whole 'eat before you drink' thing.
You're interrupted from your thoughts when you hear a loud thump on the floor. The half-elf almost knocked Astarion out. leaving him on the ground. The stranger then turns back to you, lifting you back up from the floor, going to open the back door.
"What a find. Can't wait to enjoy you."
In that moment, while trying to get his bearings, Astarion realizes this wasn't just someone threatening you, and that disgusting feeling fills his stomach. He remembers how many times he shared his body against his will, and the adrenaline of that anger is enough to get him back on his feet. As you and the half-elf make it out the door, Astarion rushes him, tripping one foot out from under him. And then he drives his blade into the stranger's back, again, and again, and again, and again, and again. He's covered in the sinner's blood, shaking with both rage and misery. The violent display helped sober you up just a little, enough to make you realize that Astarion has killed someone behind the bar, and that it was clearly deserved. He looks up, locking eyes with you, still holding his blade down, as if the dead man needs yet another plunging strike in his back.
"Astarion?"
You ask, your voice full of uncertainty, the past few minutes still a blur. He begins to cry, putting his dagger in the ground, slowly crawling over to where you've ended up on the ground. He holds you tight, almost to the point of pain. He doesn't say anything, and you simply watch the blood pour out of the man's corpse as he grips you tight. Flooding memories cover every space of his mind, seduction, imprisonment, and most of all, Cazador's death.
"Astarion... you're hurting my arm."
You say softly, not fully aware of just how distraught he is, still far too inebriated. You're sad though, because he's sad, and you can't quite put together why. He lets go, wrapping his arms under his legs, crying into his knees. You try to comfort him, despite your state.
"It's okay, it's over now."
You don't even know what's over, but if someone is dead and Astarion is still alive, he must've ended it.
"I know."
He chokes out those two pathetic words, looking back up at you.
"We need to leave."
The survival instinct kicks in, knowing he can't explain why this man has at least five stab wounds in his back. The second one of the bartenders finds this, it'll be over.
"Come, this way, we're going to take the back alley."
Snatching up your arm, Astarion leads you through the darkness, mumbling things to himself that you can't quite hear. The two of you move quickly through the night as you stumble around behind him. When the two of you get home, he gets you some water, leading you upstairs so you can lie down.
"Are you okay?"
Such an innocent question. He knows you'll remember tomorrow, that it's not like you're blacked out or anything, just confused.
"I'll be fine my dove. Get some rest now, it's alright."
It's as if he's trying to convince himself, but it's enough for you in your drunken stupor. You curl up into the heavy blanket cast across the bed, and he leaves a kiss on your head. Not long after, you're drifting off to sleep, exhausted.
As Astarion makes his way to the bathroom, he thinks of the horrific things that could've happened, of how cruel humanity is. He thinks about how you have to be the only truly good person in all of FaerĂťn. He'll never get all the blood off his face, not while you're asleep. His mirror, his sun, his everything, and you were almost tainted the very same way he was.
When you wake up the next morning, Astarion isn't in bed. You try to reach out groggily, looking for that embrace, only to be left with cold sheets. Thinking back on the night before, the memories start to filter in. The drinks, the half-elf, the stabbing, and Astarion sobbing. The full picture isn't entirely there, but there's enough pieces for you to realize. That man, he found you drunk in the tavern, and tried to take advantage of you.
You stumble out of bed, walking down the stairs, rubbing your eyes.
Astarion is in the kitchen, drinking some tea, his eyes bloodshot. You don't say anything, slowly walking up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, holding him tight. He puts his tea down and rests his head on yours.
"Are you alright my love?"
"I'm fine. Are you alright?"
You make some space again, looking up at him, holding his hands in yours. They start to shake again, rage and misery. You move a piece of hair out of his face.
"He didn't do anything to me love, I'm okay."
"Just- the thought of- I-"
He tries to hold back the tears again.
"It's okay, you can cry. It's going to be okay."
With that allowance, the permission to let go, he cries again.
"I don't ever want you to feel like that Tav, the way I felt. It's so, disgusting."
"I know, but it's over Aster. It's over now. You're okay, we're okay."
You wrap around him again, and he continues to weep.
"I love you, so much, and they didn't ruin you, I promise."
That worry, that he'll never be the same, that he's forever fractured now, that a piece of him is gone. Innocence, what a loaded word. Those who are guilty make the innocent feel guilty, and those who are guilty feel powerful, and the cycle continues, always continuing. You stand in the kitchen for a long time, letting him get all of the pain out, your shirt sleeve wet with his tears.
"I just wish I didn't have to be scared anymore."
You frown, thinking on his statement, knowing that no one is ever truly safe. You'll both live in fear forever, of those that think cruelty is accomplishment.
"I know."
It's all you can say, because you can't lie and tell him there's a day he won't have to be scared, that one day all the monsters of the world will be gone. There's nothing to learn, no moral, no mistake to fix, just pain. Pain caused by those who greed after anguish.
"Do you think I've changed? Or am I just as I was, a scared, beaten slave?"
"Gods Astarion, of course you've changed. It's the world that hasn't. We're better than them though, even if that's all we have."
Neither of you reach any resolution, nothing that makes you feel better. Instead, you sit on the sofa by the fire, watching the wood go up in flames, softly speaking about the suffering. You lie in each other's arms, sad. Misery loves company, and the two of you sit in that aura of grieving for a long time, grieving his past, grieving what could have been a kinder world. But here, in this sacred space, where feelings are free to run wild, where you can cry as much as you need, that's the only place you're truly safe. And that's alright, as long as it's together.
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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus
Oh hello again everyone! Apologies to the three people who are probably interested in this syllabus journey for falling off the face of the earth for the last few months. Had a lot of life changes and travel going on and have not been falling desperately behind in all of the things I have been watching. Now that I am back home for more than two days at a time, I figured I should get back into the swing of things with @bengiyoâs queer cinema syllabus.. With this post I am officially wrapping up Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley and will get to reap my reward with Lesbians and Gems for Units 5 and 6. As a reminder the films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Donât Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the Side (1995)
Today I will be talking about:
Boys on the Side (1995) dir. Herbert Ross
[Run Time: 1:55, I watched it through Plex, Language: English]
Summary: Robin shares a ride in her car with Jane from New York to Los Angeles. They stop at Jane's friend Holly's place in Pittsburgh and take her with them west, making a long stop in Tucson. The three very different women become close friends.
Cast:Â - Whoopi Goldberg as Jane - Mary-Louise Parker as Robin - Drew Barrymore as Holly
___
OKAY. Shout out to me for getting through the final film in Heartbreak Alley without crying!Â
A trend I have noticed throughout the sad films in this section is that the vast majority of them hold the sadness until the end, which is super fair, but also something I would consider to be rather kind. Maybe itâs just me, but seeing Mysterious Skin so early on in this syllabus really altered my perception of what a difficult movie looked and felt like. The movie that compromised me the most in this unit was far and away Strange Fruit, which sits in the Mysterious Skin camp of being great and also something I will struggle to ever watch again. By comparison, a lot of the Heartbreak Alley films were fine.Â
I liked how much Boys on the Side was about the bonds between women and the importance of found family. I love a movie where the premise is: girls do crime and then hit the road together. I like how expertly this film was able to pull back the layers on Robin, until you hit the reveal of her HIV diagnosis. When we first meet her, sheâs just a kind of put together, somewhat annoying and anal white woman that wants to hit the road for god knows what reason, and you (and Jane) roll your eyes a little at how often she is sanitizing things.Â
And then she vomits, and you can kind of just dismiss it as the allergies she says it is.Â
And then Jane leaves the car to go see Holly and Robin uses that moment alone to take some medication, and things start to unravel. She goes to bed really early, she looks haggard the longer they are endurance testing their driving on the road. Something is definitely wrong with her, and BOOM, sheâs collapsed and is hospitalized, and you find out sheâs HIV positive.Â
I liked how distinct all three of the main characters felt, and I liked their friendship with one another. The full blown, silent conversations that can pass between them. I like the little moments in a slice of life, the birthday parties, the dancing, Jane making Robin shout âCuntâ because she feels uncomfortable referring to her vagina. I liked that having HIV was just a detail in her life, and that the movie itself didnât feel like An AIDS Movie.Â
Even though Robin is surrounded by red the whole time, something which I usually associate with AIDS itself because of blood and red ribbons. Robinâs car is red, the lighting in her first hospital room is read, the list of plumbers and landlords she leaves on the fridge at her old apartment in New York is red, they settle in Tuscon, they live in a house made of red clay. But she is never the one that is painted in it. She never wears red, she is not the one painted by it. Jane is the one that bleeds in this film, Jane is the one washed in the red lights of the hospital. But the bigger instances of red: the car, the house contains an entire life inside it. A friendship. Happiness, sadness, anger, joy. You barely even notice that itâs there.Â
When Robinâs initial case of pneumonia was resolved, the doctor wasnât worried about it, and even though Robin did pass by the end of the film, the movie itself wasnât about her dying of AIDS. It was about the friendship between Jane, Robin, and Holly. At least thatâs how it felt for me.Â
Definitely my favorite part of this film was that Robin was allowed to be absolutely pissed and to kick Jane out of the house when Jane revealed her status to the man Robin liked. Jane was just trying to be helpful, and the man himself was very chill and totally fine with her status. But Jane didnât have a right to disclose that information.Â
I want to know more about the writers of this film, because I liked that the person in the movie who had AIDS was not the former drug user, or the queer person, but the heterosexual, cisgender, white real estate agent. That it seems to have been a little bit of time since she got her diagnosis, and sheâs got a handle on how she is dealing with her grief. She doesnât pity herself, once Jane and Holly know about it, sheâs very casual with her references to the blood tests she needs, etc.Â
Even if AIDS is a death sentence still in a movie like this one, I still think the film itself is kind about how they portray it. Robin can still be there for the people she cares about. She can get a very violent situation under control, she can fly across the country and testify to try to help Holly, she brings Jane happiness, music, fun. She doesnât want a funeral, she wants a big party in the house they shared. She makes it long enough to tell Jane she was loved, to go home and meet Hollyâs baby.Â
We donât have to watch her die, and even though the last scene of the film itself is an empty house, the understanding that Robin is dead, we donât have to see her mother, who already lost her husband and her son, mourn her, we donât have to watch her die. And we are immediately handed the end credit title cards that are just a compilation of the happy moments between Jane, Holly, and Robin. They donât make you sit in the emotions there for very long. You get the sad scene of Robin seeing the visage of her dead brother, telling Jane what she wants to happen after sheâs passed. And then it is immediately followed with a birth, with happiness and humor. You get the happiness of the baby shower when Holly gets out of prison and then the sadness of a shared song and an empty house, and Jane painting her nails in the car as she continues on her journey. And then you get Robinâs face, smiling away, laughter, chaos, joy at all these little moments in the film.Â
A good movie to end this section on, both as a wind down piece and as an appetizer for Unit 5: Lesbians.Â
Favorite Moment
I think my favorite moment of the film was when Jane and Robin meet Abe for the first time. Mostly because it is absolutely fucking hilarious to watch the paragraphs of silent, judgemental conversation they are having with each other while simultaneously trying to process that Holly who accidentally murdered a guy is dating a cop. It was truly such an expert portrayal of the psychic connections you forge between close friends.Â
Favorite QuoteÂ
âEveryone go potty, we donât want to have to stop,â
I know what you are thinking. âWen, why the fuck is that your favorite quote of the film?â Itâs because of the context. Picture this, you have entered an apartment that is not your own after seeing through the window that the person who responded to your newspaper ad looking for a road trip buddy is in a fight with a random guy. The apartment you enter is a mess and your road trip buddy and her friend are bleeding at the hands of an abusive, drug dealing, asshole. You have managed to get the situation under control once already through sheer force of reasonable suggestion, only to have it ruined when this woman you do not know hits the abusive fucker over the head with a baseball bat.Â
THEN because you donât want to murder him, but you also donât want him to catch up to you, you and these two women you barely know, tie this man to a chair with rope and duct tape. You have thought through the timing of how long it will take him to break through the binds and have thought about the noise and found a music disc that will last long enough to give you one hell of a head start. You are standing next to this guy who just beat up two people you barely know, who you have hog tied, and who is bleeding from his temple, and in the flattest, most mother telling her child to do a simple task way, you suggest that everyone uses the potty before they essentially enter a getaway car and escape from the scene of this assault. It was just so fucking funny to me.Â
ScoreÂ
8/10Â
I enjoyed the movie, but I think I wanted a little bit more attention and depth on Jane and less on Holly. I think there were a few too many threads going on, and that some of the set up was unnecessary. But I had a good time.Â
And thatâs it! I have finished Unit 4, I have so many more films to watch, but I inch ever closer to getting to rewatch Big Eden so onward I charge!
#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus#queer cinema syllabus#queer cinema#boys on the side#boys on the side (1995)#unit 4: heartbreak alley#bent#strange fruit#boys dont cry#brokeback mountain#parting glances#philadelphia#the living end#holding the man#jeffrey
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The Bald & The Beautiful Halloween Special â 10/27/2024
Trixieâs face watching Katya describe a show lmao
Katyaâs wheeze laugh đ
I really like this hair, the kind of spirals, on you
But do try to kiss me
Youâve seen the photos
Katya calling Trixie out for tucking non-existing hair behind her ear
I started decorating for Halloween I know, you showed me
Do you think we should do this like Drew Barrymore?
I love this jacket
And this morning I thought of you Why?
Iâm good friends with you
Look at me now, I look beautiful, itâs a fact
If you had a boyfriend â which, you know, we have to imagine
Imagine fucking me â imagine it
I told you about it the other day
I donât love the sound effects during this tbh
Katya forcing Trixie to watch The Substance for the longevity of their friendship lol
The canât fight the moonlight mention though
How would you stab me?
Please them wanting to stand up & act things out
Pouty Katya telling Trixie sheâs gotta give Game Of Thrones another shot
The fuck marry kill segment đ
That shouldnât be my first girl on girl experience
Shut uppp
Not the whole Katya thinking her eyes are green thing again đ
đđđ the Boulet Brothers impression
I like classic, & so do you
The same way the barn owl got in lmfao
Trixie saying cunty after Katyaâs said it like 50 times & then Katya dropping the knife
#kimmy watches#dostoyevsky in the sheets#oh honeyyyyy#trixya#trixie & katya#katya#katya zamo#katya zamolodchikova#trixie mattel
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Get to Know Me
name: Victoria
height: 5'2" and some change
nickname /s: Vic, Tori
nationality: American (I'm sorry)
favourite fruit: I'm a pineapple girlie when it comes down to it, I think.
favourite season: Autumn. I love the spooky vibes and mild temperatures. (Spring brings pollen and sneezing, I'm heat intolerant so summer renders me useless, and I hate the cold)
favourite scents: Anything tropical, fruity, some florals, cut grass. Honestly, anything that smells like I'm on some island down in the Caribbean strikes my fancy.
favourite animals: Pandas, narwhals, wallabies, axolotls, fruit bats, cheetahs
tea, coffee, hot cocoa: I'm an iced coffee girlie when it comes to coffee. Green tea when it comes to tea. General hot cocoa fiend.
average hours of sleep: I need AT LEAST 8 to function like a semi-person.
when my blog was created: July 2022
# of followers: At least 1
random fact: I have a balisong and can do tricks with it.
favourite food: I feel like it changes all the time, but I love Shepherd's Pie always
favourite t.v. shows: (Disclaimer I do watch more YouTube than tv, so bare with me). Haunting of Hill House, Looking for Alaska, Expedition Unknown, Ghost Adventures, History's Greatest Mysteries, Jersey Shore
favourite movie/s: Pride & Prejudice (2005), Mad Max: Fury Road are both easily my favorites but some others are; Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Across the Universe, Ever After (The Cinderella movie with Drew Barrymore I need to clarify that), A Cinderella Story, The Cat Returns
sexuality: Bi.
pronouns: She / Her
favourite book series: SERIES? Okay, uh, The Raven Cycle
favourite video game/s: BIOSHOCK (I don't acknowledge or include Infinite in it. It's good as a standalone game). BioShock 2 I've played more, but BioShock is great as a classic.
favourite subject: Astronomy / Astrophysics
guys or girls: For what?
last time I cried: Yesterday! I'm a big crybaby!
what I should be doing: Getting ready for a CT scan. But, alas, Sam's account and Ordinary Adventures have my attention.
favourite fandoms: I'm going to get crucified but Star Wars. It's the only one I really consider myself a part of and actively immersed in. Yes, it's as bad as you've heard stories of, yes I love my dramatic space guys and gals.
Tagged by: @honeyedxhearts
Tagging: You!
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"Hi girl! Here's some "Satan" Claus stationery. I like your's. The blue one with a photocopy picture of you. You look delicious. Finger licking good. Toe too. Under the mistletoe. Iâd have a real female toe there. Yesterday was your birthday. Happy Birthday Synn. :) Hope you had a good one. One of my nieces was born the 24. The sexy lingerie pictures of you would be great. maybe you could work up to some naked ones. Don't be shy. Only I see them. Please take those lingerie ones for me ok? make sure (?) bare foot ok. You should check out (?) What does your mom look like? How old is she? She's married right? I think you told me but I have a bad memory. I'm sweet because I said I didn't want you having sex with anyone? It wasn't meant to be be sweet. I'm serious :) Your mine ha Enclosed is a form. Sighn it. Your soul is de masters. Make copies + send me some and send me your sighned form ha you belive in magic? Send me some prayers to satan. Alot of people think that because one worships Satan they're crazy huh? Well they were burned at the stake a long time ago. Heard those stories of Satan's dick being cold + witches having to lick his butt? Ever seen that movie about Satan worship with Ernest Borgnine and William Shatner? Ever seen that movie Poison Ivy with Drew Barrymore.? I watch TV and sleep all day. Read sometimes. I try not to think. Very boring. What do I wish I was doing? I think you know the answer to that! Write soon. <3 Richard"
 "When you at it please (?) a few(like 30) copies of this questionary for me. Fill one out for me. Thankx"
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It's not like children can ever be fully shielded from swearing, nor should they be. This obsession with sanitizing kids lives 100000% is a legitimate mental illness at this point, they SHOULD be exposed to all sorts of different things. And yes that does involve upsetting, confusing or inappropriate things sometimes, which swearing isn't btw, because that's how you GROW, that's how kids brains get to learn and train and be stimulated. Children are gremlins, they're always gonna be gremlins, no amount of bubble wrap can change that
If people treated children less like pets who cannot be expected to behave like human beings and more like small people, people would hate kids less.
You can see who people are when theyâre always hating on Kelly for taking her daughter places with adults as if children always need to be stuck at a soft play centre doing âkid stuffâ. Treating children like full grown humans is never a bad thing.
Iâm not saying leave kids in a nightclub like Drew Barrymore but if all you ever do is stick them in front of an iPad watching cartoons and playing with blocks they will develop slower.
The world is full of other people. People who donât care and donât have to care about what you think is comfortable or appropriate. The sooner you realise that and learn how to handle exposure to things that arenât for or about you the better
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Even though I have been stepping out of the box for Christmas movies this year, there is one I can never skip and I must always share it with you, though I fear no one else appreciates it the way I do. This is a film I watched so often, off season, that my babysitter actually banned it from the house, a film so fascinating and studded with talent and complex themes that critics have not even attempted to analyze it. Iâm talking about the stupefying, the emotional, the powerful, Babes In Toyland.
Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore star in this 90s musical. Itâs Christmas in Mother Goose land where the entire economy is cookie based. The villain lives in a giant bowling ball with two Nosferatus and an army of garbage monsters. Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi) is Santa Claus. There is a song about Cincinnati that magically stops our heroes from turning into trolls. Yes, it is available on youtube and yes, you should watch it immediately. Youâre welcome, happy holidays.
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I have been obsessing over Yellowjackets and the brilliant cast and watching their previous projects and I know you don't like zombie series but I think you should really give Santa Clarita Diet a chance. It's one Liv Hewson (Van) previous projects and it's just brilliant. I think you might really love it
I don't like the scary zombies that chase after people. The stress of 'will they get 'em, will they get away' is too much for me.
But Drew Barrymore tryna juggle motherhood, her realty business, and being a new zombie craving human flesh was like, suuuuper entertaining. I loved it. Can't recommend that show enough.
#Anonymous#it should've gotten at least five seasons#the fact it got canceled so quick is my villain origin story
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*Don Bluth had no involvement with this but it was theatrically released direct sequels to his movies and I wanted to include it ** Don Bluth had no involvement with these and they were not released in theaters but I decided to include them anyway Thoughts/Propaganda below the cut
The Secret of NIMH- I can only recall like 2 seconds of this movie, but I have full faith that it's good (unless all the hype is for the book...)
An American Tail- A I don't remember this one well either but I do remember liking it and the giant steampunk mouse they built and also the absolutely iconic Somewhere Out There
The Land Before Time- We all know this one is good right?
All Dogs Go to Heaven- This movie is my go to example of INSANE 80s/early 90s kids movies. The hero runs an illegal casino until he's murdered by his business partner (who is named after Scarface), and then he spends most of the movie trying to cheat death because he'll be sent to Hell and he's exploiting a child to gamble the entire time. Also the Alligator???? Anyway this movie is wild and I watched it a LOT as a kid.
Rock-A-Doodle- Never seen it. Rooster?
Thumbelina- Do not remember it but I remember the vibes and they are good.
A Troll in Central Park- I have never seen this movie BUT I could probably recite the trailer verbatim because it was on my VHS of Black Beauty and I watched that movie all the time (also featured the trailer for Little Giants and a Chuck E. Cheese commercial where a child turns into an old man)
The Pebble and the Penguin- Too much talk about Don Bluth only knowing how to draw one man (or two) and not enough about the insane character design for Drake
(that's a PENGUIN). Also it stars Martin Short, Jim Belushi and Tim Curry. Anastasia- You don't need me to hype Anastasia. you know. Also I KNOW that I left off Bartok the Magnificent but I ran out of room. You can vote for it on this one if you want.
Titan A.E.- You should absolutely go watch Titan A.E. because it's just really really solid sci fi. Cool alien designs, nice use of a mixed cgi and traditional animation elements. Matt Damon, Drew Barrymore, Nathan Lane (But evil), Bill Pullman, John Leguizamo. incomprehensible grunge movie. And random lines that are forever burned into my brain like "fight the good fight, Precious". Fievel Goes West- This has John Cleese as the villain, and is the Hollywood Icon Jimmy Stewart's last movie. A fun western! Fun fact; the VHS copy that we got when I was a kid (and gave away like... last week) we got from our Dentist's office. I do not know how that came to be. but I want you to be aware of it. Also for further lines forever in my mind: "your darling baby bubby bunka boo"
All 13 Land Before Time Sequels- My research says there are 13 but I suspect there's more they just don't want to admit to. But on the other hand, Chomper.
#don bluth#animated movies#polls#animation#anastasia#the secret of nimh#all dogs go to heaven#thumbelina#an american tail#fievel goes west#the land before time#the pebble and the penguin#a troll in central park#rock a doodle
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For The Nightmare Factory asks:
Tree branches that tap and scratch on the window and make shadows on the wall that look like petrifying things, but when you look directly at them theyâre tree branch shadows again. And Eddie tries to communicate using the taps and shadows, but he just ends up being terrifying. Or is that too much like the Shadow Monster youâve got planned? đ¤
Also, the Nightmare Cat that sits on your chest and steals the breath from your lungs.
Also, Ball Lightning. Not nightmare related, it just freaks me TF out.
Iâd also love to see the guys from Monsters, Inc. make a cameo, even if they just wander past in the background, or are in the same lunch line or something đ
Please, I love all of these! I was working on the next installment of nightmare!eddie this morning and got excited, so I was looking through my asks again.
But you mentioned nightmare cat and I immediately thought of Stephen Kings "Cat's Eye" specifically the one where the cat saves Drew Barrymore from the malevolent troll that tries to steal her breath at night. That is some good Nightmare Factory stuff.
Shockingly enough, I have never watched Monsters Inc, and I really feel like I should because this is the third time someone has mentioned it in regards to this series. I'm familiar with the aesthetic though....isn't there a big blue monster? Thank you again for these thoughtful ideas babes xoxoxox
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I think when you reach a certain level of fame no matter how good and humble you are as a person itâs very difficult to put yourself in other peoples shoes. TZ are as grounded as they can be to be honest and I think they should be commended because the causes they support are not headline grabbing but small community based and they are not performative with it. I donât know their full motivations about being silent and I donât like it but I will extend a bit of grace because to me they have not displayed selfish behavior before . Claire tweet was dumb she just gives helicopter parent vibes to me on everything . On to 3 other celebrities I want to discuss
Oprah - I am so torn with this because she has become very problematic in the last few years but also I feel like now no matter what she does there is so much hate . I canât help but feel there is an element of people trying to bring a black women down. 10 million is not a dent for her but it is still 10 million.
Drew Barrymore I watched her apology video which she has deleted and for the life of me I still did not understand her why. The self importance of saying her show is needed in trying times is ridiculous to me cause I for one have never watched like who does she think she is .
Ashton and Mila itâs pretty obvious they apologized to apologize and did not actually mean it. They clearly still believe their friend is innocent which is pretty mind blowing.
I think Tom & Zendaya seem like decent humans and their charity work is commendable, although I probably wouldnât draw a clear line between altruism and pr branding. They both cultivate a specific image that TBT and stuff like the Hoop Bus evinces.
Anyhow.
I agree with you all the way on Oprah and Drew.
On Ashton & Mila: I hate defending these two because I find them so annoying. I didnât read their statement, but did they say that their friend is innocent? Or did they give character testimony in his sentencing trial? The latter, right? I think they did a thing which many family members and friends of convicts do, which is to take advantage of a rare and small opportunity that may have no impact on sentencing anyhow. Anyway, maybe they should have considered how itâd be blown out of proportion and misinterpreted given their fame. I do appreciate that people are just tired of seeing the privileged look out for one another.
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Me: *rambling on about a Santa Clarita Diet actor like the human IMDb I am*
Wife: you could have said any name except Drew Barrymore, and I would have believed you
Wife: Iâd have known it wasnât her, but otherwise?
Me: is. is that the only name you know? from the whole show?
Wife: âŚ.i know i should know the daughter
Me: *very aware that this is my current favorite actor, and that she has watched both SCD AND YJ with me* you sure fuckin should
Wife: âŚ.
Me: Liv Hewson
Wife: THATâS LIV HEWSON????
Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? How many nonbinary gingers have we seen on TV lately??
Wife: đđđ
#my wife#I like to call this game âone of us walking imdb (and the other has never seen a movie)â#I really. really canât stress enough that she has watched justified (I have not) and firefly and again: yellowjackets#and should know basically the whole cast by now#bless her. I canât believe this. Iâve been raving about Hewsonâs talent for like six months straight#I watched fucking Bombshell for them. WITH my wife. and sheâs out here like#âin no way is that the same human beingâ i am dying
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Tagged by @galvanizedfriend and @garglyswoof (thank you lovely friends!)
Top 10 Comfort Movies (no particular order)
Edited because @garglyswoof wanted to know my reasonings, the darling.
Ever After (1998): A kickass Cinderella, Drew Barrymore, Angelica Huston, and it's semi-historically accurate???
National Treasure: I love this movie so much, I can quote every line from it, I went to Philly partly because of this movie. The sequel is still good but it doesn't have the same charm as the OG.
Prince of Egypt: The music, the cast, the animation, need I say more?
Wizard of Oz: One of my first movies I ever watched, I think of it fondly every time I click my heels together.
Anastasia: This movie always reminds me of the time I faked having PMS and my dad picked me up from school, took me to Blockbuster to rent it, as well as buying me Twizzlers.
Air Force One: This movie is never long enough, I always want more of this movie. Harrison Ford was hot in this, loved Gary Oldman as a villain!
Swan Princess: Two quotes I constantly say to @wethelostboygirls "You should write a book: How To Offend Women In Five Syllables or Less." And "Not you Wesley, you're a rrrabit!"
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian: My introduction to Ben Barnes, and shipping, I loved (and continue to love) Suspian. Plus the music!
The Devil Wears Prada: "How do you spell Gabbana?"
Tarzan: The first Disney movie that I loved, apparently there is a videotape with me singing You'll Be in My Heart to my baby brother, somewhere in the garage.
Tagging: @wethelostboygirls, @morningstargirl666, @stars-and-darkness, @kirythestitchwitch, @clonemaster-general, @hexenfleur, @princess-of-the-worlds, @helpless-in-sleep
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Why doesnât the AMPTP just give everybody what they want?
Thatâs a great question, and one that everyone is asking. The easiest way to understand this, still, is what I wrote back when SAG-AFTRA joined the WGA on the picket lines in July: âThe reality is that studios and production companies are increasingly embedded in larger corporations and tech companies that are beholden to shareholders, and the way they think and talk about profit and revenue is different from the way the people who take home a paycheck do.â
Since then, Iâve thought a lot about another factor that may be in play here. Itâs worth remembering that the AMPTP is not a union, the way the WGA and SAG-AFTRA are. In a union, members act in solidarity with one another. But the AMPTP is an association of directly competitive companies (like Disney, Warner Bros. Discovery, Netflix, Apple, and many more studios and production companies), formed for the purpose of negotiating contracts with the unions.
That is important to remember, largely because these companies have wildly different business models. If youâre in charge of movies and TV at Apple, your business is the teensiest slice of an enormous pie, and nobodyâs counting on you to keep the business afloat; thatâs what the AirPods are for. The stuff you make exists partly for prestige (Apple, for instance, was the first streamer to clinch a Best Picture win at the Oscars, and its TV shows like Ted Lasso have raked in the acclaim) and partly as a fun extra for people to watch on their new Apple gadgets.
If youâre at a more traditional studio, though â say, Disney â then while movies and TV arenât your only revenue source, they are the basis for everything else. You need to show profit to your investors to keep them interested, and the thing you make is what people most closely associate with your brand.
If the strike were to wear on for a very long time, it would hurt both the Silicon Valley companies and the more traditional studios. But itâs pretty clear who would hurt more. Iâve never been asked to run a giant media company, but if I was the head of, I donât know, Amazon Studios right now, I might be seeing an opportunity to hurt my competition.I cannot possibly claim that this is definitely happening, though the WGA certainly has made the case to the traditional studios that they should think about it, and observers have suggested it may be inevitable. In any case, itâs hardly out of the realm of possibility, and could be part of why thereâs so much weird messaging coming from the AMPTP: the interests within the organization are divided.
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Scream (1996)
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For heckâs sake, itâs time I watched a classic. Time to binge what cemented the genre until Iâm blue in the face. I LOVE how much this film referenced itself as a meta thing. It was probably done before being meta was even a thing.
I read things about the marketting on this movie and I believe it would have unsettled me if I saw it in â96. Having Drew Barrymore as the main face of advertising just to have her die within the first 15 minutes would have been traumatising. That is sort of the whole point of the franchise, to misdirect, shock and build suspense. I understand. But in 2023, it feels like camp (encouragingly).
AND YEAH. The whole cast is really hot. So what?
Screaming at the dialogue. Some stuff is out of pocket (but funny, sorry). Like âThereâs always some stupid reason to kill your girlfriend.â HUH??? đ¤¨
I canât help but think that in modern day context, this reads as a story of abuse. Wanting to believe the person you trust is not responsible for unspeakable things, and that you should be able to trust them. But that is not always the case. Not sure if this would be a similar reading from the noughties, but the fact it still carries is crazy. There is a double-barrelled plot about the poor justice system. Characters like Courtney Coxâs make me interested in journalism. Even if she is slightly shady at times.
I also love the fact this movie could have been called Scary Movie, thus inspiring the Scary Movie franchise. Also interesting the Red Right Hand (Peaky Blinders theme) is integrated into many important scenes. Hm. What does it mean? As Billy says: Itâs all one big movie, only you canât pick a genre. For fuckâs sake, it even references its own conservative ideology as a genre, and mirroring what happens in âreal life.â
You should watch this if:
Untrustworthy narratives and characters
THE horror formula!!! (it always comes back to mommy issues)
Men destroying each other (more specifically, film bros destroying each other)
Similar Titles:
Halloween (1978) (vintage horror, similar premise)
#david arquette#neve campbell#courtney cox#skeet ulrich#rose mcgowan#matthew lillard#jamie kennedy#w earl brown#drew barrymore#wes craven
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