#you should have seen me run like a mad woman to go get it and THANK FCK IT WAS STILL THERE

[actuallysara]

can you believe I forgot my suitcase at a metro ticket machine one hour after landing, who the heck allowed me to travel by myself exactly ???

[aakeysmash]

christmas shopping, matching pajamas and family discounts

college!sukuna masterlist

"Why are we here again?" college!sukuna huffs from next to you for the umpteenth time.

"Stop acting like a little bitch. You asked me that 20 seconds ago, Yuuji is acting better than you," you hiss out, glaring at him. It's true though: the kid is trotting right in front of you two, not a care in the world, while his caretaker is currently dragging his feet on the pavement you're walking on.

"And you still didn't answer, fucker," he barks back, grimacing, kicking a little rock.

"Yes, I fucking did! I told you this morning we were going Christmas shopping! You never listen to me," you start, jutting your lip out and trying to play the victim. You know he hates it when you do it. "Maybe I should tell Yuuji how his big brother hates the idea of going shopping with him," you provoke, whispering so that only you and him know what you're talking about. He scoffs, offended.

"Liar. Don't you fucking dare-"

"Are you two fighting again?" whines Yuuji, turning around and pouting. You and Sukuna glance at each other before shaking your head at the same moment.

"No, we're getting along so well," you force yourself to smile.

"Yeah, she said she's so glad I'm accompanying her. Matter of fact, she said she's going to offer us lunch," Sukuna continues, an evil glint in his eyes when he hears you gasp.

"I did not-"

"Really?! Yippie!" screams Yuuji, coming to hug you violently. You stumble back, gritting your teeth, and reciprocate the hug while narrowing your eyes at the grinning tattooed man in front of you. He knows you're not able to say no to his brother.

When Yuuji runs inside the mall, you push Sukuna's shoulder, mumbling "bitch". He just chuckles, then boldly gets you close by placing one open hand on your lower back. You know he's just going to tease you, so you put both hands on his chest to fight back, trying to put some distance between you two, but the place is crowded and everyone is looking at you. A woman passes by you and looks at you weirdly, so you stop wriggling in his grasp, and he delicately pushes you even closer. You're chest to chest, his breath fanning over your features, grin ever present on his face, enjoying how you look pissed out of your mind. From the outside, it looks like you're hugging each other, when in reality he just puts his mouth on your ear to utter "Never play with me, baby. I know how to drive you mad," then frees you and walks behind Yuuji with his hands in his pockets, not turning back to see if you're following him or not. You're seething.

"Oh my God, Yuuji, look at these!" you swoon over a pair of pajama pants. They're a soft brown, decorated with little green Christmas' trees and little reindeers, a bright red Merry Christmas! on both knees.

"It's a set!" squeals the kid next to you, grabbing the sweater right on top of the piece of cloth you have in your hands. You both notice at the same time that the set comes both in adults' and kids' sizes. "Can we take it?" he asks you looking up, puppy eyes activated. Your heartstrings are pulled so tight you feel like you could implode if you look at his face for a second longer.

"Of course we can, I thought it was obvious," you say excitedly, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down with him in a circle while he laughs, smile on full display and brown eyes squeezed shut happily.

Sukuna, who has kept watching his phone for the majority of the time you've been inside the mall, raises his gaze when he hears your laugh mingled with his brother's. If you had been looking at him in that instant, you would've seen the brief soft glimpse that passed on his whole face when he took in how happy you both looked together. When you turn around, though, he's already schooled his features to appear bored.

"Are we done?" he yawns.

"Would you like to match with us?" you ask him, at the same time. You scowl and he scoffs.

"Hell no, girl. I'm not with whatever stupid shit y'all are doing," he says, trying to act tougher than what he actually feels like. Seeing you being kind to the only person in the world who shares 100% of his genes makes him feel things he doesn't want to acknowledge right now.

"You're a party pooper, 'Kuna," Yuuji mumbles, frowning. "Can we still match? I really want us to match," he adds, shily, looking at you. You're shocked. His cheeks are getting redder the more you gawk at him. "Sorry, you can say no-"

Your kiss on his cheek resonates all around the ally you're currently staying in. "Of course I want to match with you. We don't need your evil brother, Yuuji. Let's go try them on," you sweetly say, taking his hand and walking away from Sukuna, not before flipping him off. Yuuji is so giddy that he follows you like he's walking on clouds, his face slightly hurting from how hard he's cheesing.

Sukuna just stands there, baffled and even a little offended. He stiffens, noticing he still has his phone in his hands. He's so fast with it he's the first to remain shocked by his own actions: he hears the click of his camera and looks at the pic he's just taken, feeling his chest heavier than it's ever been. It's a beautifully taken pic, where you and Yuuji are squinting at each other, hand in hand, laughing. He turns off his screen, shakes his head and catches up to you. You're going to give him a headache if you continue being like this. Or a heart attack. Or both.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" the nice old lady at the checkout says.

"Hi, we'd like to take these two pieces," you kindly respond, handing her the pajamas you and Yuuji just tried on.

"Let me see... oh, we actually have a family discount on this! Is the daddy not going to take anything?" she innocently asks, looking over at your older roommate.

"Yo, I'm not his-"

Your eyes almost fall out of your sockets. "Ah ah ah! Silly us! We forgot his one! Just give me a second," you interrupt a scowling Sukuna, covering his mouth with your hand before he can finish his sentence, dragging him away. Yuuji gives the old lady a confused look, to which she responds with "Young parents these days," shaking her head.

"You're going to take the fucking matching set, Sukuna, and you're going to like it," you seethe, still dragging him away (well, it's more like he's letting you drag him away). You hear how he's trying to talk behind your hand. "Don't piss me off. I'm going to pay less to get more, and you're going to listen to me. Go." You ignore him and he raises one eyebrow, looking you up and down, before biting your fingers. You yelp and let him go, scowling. "I said go! And act like you care about me when we get there, we're a family until the discount tells us so!"

"Okay, ma'am," he grins down to you, wiping his saliva from the corner of his mouth with a slow movement, his gaze lingering a bit too much on the way you're panting.

"Move! Take your size and let's go! Yuuji is waiting for us!" you push him, rushing back to the cashier.

"Oh, you were really fast. I thought you were going to argue with the way you rushed away," she says when she sees you come back, surprised. You nervously chuckle, telling her how you were already planning on buying one for Sukuna, you just forgot. "That would be 20.99$."

While you're swiping your card, you suddenly feel engulfed by heat. Sukuna positions his hands on your waist, giving you a half hug from behind while simultaneously giving his best confident grin to the old lady in front of him.

"Yeah. I just like when she bosses me around a bit, if you know what I mean," he says, sultry, winking at the cashier who is chuckling behind her hand, embarrassed, waving him away.

What the fuck? You initially try not to stiffen, then relax and give her a shy smile, and he squeezes you a bit closer. You melt on his chest, feeling hotter than you've felt all day. He's so comfortable. He brushes his lips near your ear and makes sure you hear the way his raspy voice is all around you. "And I do, baby. I really do."

[fillinforlater]

On her jeans (Part 1 of 3)

Male Reader x Kim Minji

Length: 3128 words

Tags: backstory, sex as payment, degradation, all things blowjob: face fuck, deep throat, gagging, chocking, throat bulging, rough face sex, training, passive hand job, master/daddy kink, desperate_trainee!Minji

TW: Minji is selling herself here kinda (oh no)

Credit: @sooyadelicacies for co-writing this crazy series with me. Mad lad!

-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3-

(A/N: Hey you! I know you're reading this. Get ready for your favorite girls to get defiled one-by-one. Goon or go (or something like that, sounded cooler in my head). For everyone else, have fun!)

"Huh? Minji? What are you doing here?" 

Kazuha asks, surprised to see the still-trainee on this floor of the HYBE building, knocking on an unoccupied training room that she has nothing to do with usually.

"I-I came here to ask you about something,” the younger stutters. “I heard you were personally selected for LE SSERAFIM—and that there is some backer for your success. Even th-the group's scandal went away without a hitch. 

“Who is helping you, who is he?"

"What are you talking about?" Kazuha responds, face in scrunches. 

"I know that you know, Unnie," Minji says and catches the door before Kazuha can close it again. "I need answers, please. I-I've seen their plans, this is going to blow up, we'll be a failure, HYBE's loving stock.

"I can't fail this."

Kazuha looks at the determined young girl, her face loosening up a bit, turning from trying to defend her future spot at your side from a new rival to worrying for Minji. She curls her finger and Minji enters the otherwise empty training room.

"You have some dangerous knowledge," the Japanese woman then says. "Asking for this—I think you have no idea what you might get into."

"Doesn’t everyone say this about the industry?" Minji responds with wit and looks at Kazuha's sweaty body in the mirror. "Everyone always shares their doubts, from the moment you start. And now we are here, ready to debut. I know I have talent, but will it be enough?"

"You really want this, Minji?"

"Yes, Unnie, more than anything."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen. Why do you—"

"I'll give you his number." Kazuha sighs deeply, but nonetheless, her words have Minji in a delighted dance. "I'll tell him that you are good, so be good, be honest to him. I'm doing you a favor here."

"Thank you so much, Unnie!"

"But be careful: he is greedy, he wants more than you can imagine, so be ready to give him everything. And also—" 

Kazuha pinches Minji's chin, tilts it towards her piercing eyes and whispers in the most kind yet threatening voice: 

"Never try to get between him and me."

# 

"Oh my—your concept, these plans. They are fucking terrible. It's going to take a lot to salvage this, even you seem to know that, Minji." There is no need for you to hold back. If you think a plan is bad, you better tell someone before they fail. You’ve seen your fair share of bad plans, but not by HYBE and not to this extreme.

"I-I know. I tried to tell them, but the managers just shut me down.” Minji puts her arms back on her thighs. They were just dramatically cast into the air to get her point across, but the young girl saw your unimpressed gaze and quickly got professional again. “They are running us straight into a brick wall."

"I've seen many examples like this. A lot of companies think they can do no wrong, especially when a lot of time has passed since their latest failure." 

You give Minji her tablet back and rest your chin on one hand, the other tapping the giant desk before you. You are deep in thought, at least Minji should believe that. Instead you are looking into her eyes, mariana trenches of passion, hopefulness, determination. Minji has a pretty face, leadership qualities, all the skills of a superstar but most importantly, she has some thick lips that will be perfect for cock sucking. 

Okay, you are getting ahead of yourselves. The other big thing she has is the willingness to trade everything for her dream, for hope, maybe for fame too. She will give her dignity for glory—and you will make her do it right fucking now.

"This is a difficult case," you say slowly, watching her expression shift a bit, not yet gloomy but getting there. "Luckily, I and HYBE still have the time and resources to make your debut a success. People will talk about it for a long time. I can even guarantee you a music show win from the get go."

"Really? Oh my God, thank you so much, sir. You are way too kind." Minji jumps from her seat and takes a deep, formal bow. "I hope I can lay all of this in your hand?"

"You sure can, Minji, but you know this comes with a price, a hefty one at that. This cannot be solved with two phone calls and some convincing. Hell, I barely have any time." You stand up from your chair and look at the young woman, upper body still tilted but her huge eyes fixed on you, now you’re in front of her. You still dwarf her and she only now knows that she is completely outmatched and will pay up.

"I-I will give you everything, as soon as I can," she stutters. "I only need some time and, and—"

"But I need it now, Minji. Right fucking now.

"Get on your knees."

"Sir?" Minji asks, shocked. "On my knees? Do-do you want me to beg?" 

You snort. “I thought you were smarter. What did Zuha tell you exactly?” 

“H-how did you know—?”

“Minji, what you're asking for requires a complete 180. Your entire concept will have to be changed. From what I’ve heard, you need some new songs too. I have someone in mind who can spearhead your group but she's a wildcard, batshit insane really, but the right kind of crazy needed for something like this. But all of this will take a lot of fucking effort, time and money. And I need you to prove your worth, now."

Push down on Minji's shoulders until she winces and sinks to the floor. Black tiles, hard, cold and somewhat reflective. You know that for a moment all of them hesitate when seeing the rough outline of their head mirrored back to them. Are they really going to do it? Is this what they have to sell? Is it worth it? 

Those that stayed are now superstars and because Minji somehow knew about it and had the guts to look for you, there is not a single doubt in you that she will devote herself to you.

"I can make your dreams come true," you proclaim calmly, yet your words put Minji under unbearable pressure. "Fame, money, success are all guaranteed, out of question, beyond that everything is possible. When you just stay there, on your knees and open your pretty mouth—"

A zip and your semi-hard cock is released, to the absolute shock of Minji, whose mental image of her face is replaced by the first phallus she has ever seen before her eyes. 

"—I'll fulfill your desires."

Minji looks up at you and gulps. She thought the auditions and training evaluations were the final tests respectively, but now her entire career comes down to this one huge cock right in front of her. She curses the producers, the managers, those idiots at Ador—their mistakes have to be redeemed by her sucking dick and lowering to the level of a desperate whore.

Minji has no option. Idols are born from hardship and this is just another step, she believes. So her lips part a little, and when she locks eyes with you, they part a lot more. With a satisfied groan, you shove your cock deep into her throat.

"From now on, you'll call me Master. Later will be Daddy, but not until you've proven worthy. Your next few weeks will be rough, new people, new songs, new choreos." The first tears form in Minji's gorgeous eyes as gags bounce through your office. "I don't care how tired or sweaty you are, when I call you, you come to me right after practice, no excuses. You will obey every fucking wish, especially because I have so much work with you."

You drag your balls over her chin, let your cock rest at the top of her mouth and open it wide. Minji is clumsy with her teeth and with the way she tries to dodge your thrust, be it intentionally or out of fear. This is of course vastly inferior compared to a blowjob from all those second and third gen stars you've made big after giving them your big cock.

The only redeeming, already great quality, are her lips. Natural, not a talent or skill. She'd be a lot better just not moving, not thinking, a fleshlight, but how should such a young woman know?

"I assume you're smart enough to understand all this," you tell her expectantly and pull out. Minji leans forward and coughs up her saliva on your floor. You grab her hair and pull it back, get ready to spit at her, but she has wit.

"Ye-yes, Master. Excuse my incompetence, I—you're so big."

"No crying? No regrets? Well, that's more impressive than your blowjob skills. How about you clean up your incompetence?"

You take a step back and pull her face down, down by the hair, onto the tiles where her spurts of saliva lay. Minji hisses out in pain, you know she stares down angrily, shocked at how rude you are to her. She grits her teeth—

"Yes, Master, sorry, Master."

—and begins to lick the floor, slowly and only with the tip of her small tongue.

You are mildly impressed that she adjusted to her situation rather quickly. It is the sign of a prodigy in bloom. 

"I am curious, baby girl. I was informed you didn't really set out to become an idol. So why put yourself through all of this?" You muse and question her. Minji's eyes widened a little, finally shifting from their bristling anger. "Oh, I know everything about you, Kim Minji. It is my job to know and then some. So tell me: what is your ambition? What is your desire?"

"Who doesn't dream of being famous?" Minji says, determination in her eyes which she has pointed at you like sharp, pointy arrows. "I want to be a star, the idol that all my classmates, parents, grown-ups have never seen in me. I want to show them how wrong they were."

"Too bad that even after joining the great and successful HYBE, you are about to be their first blunder," you taunt her and slap her forehead with your cock. "Good thing you're ready to suck cock for some adjustments of their mistakes."

Minji puckers her lips and a bit carelessly gets your cock back onto them, spreading small licks on your cockhead. "This is nothing, I know hardship."

"Oh, 

"You call this nothing?"

You tsk and slap her face with your cock.

"You know hardship? Do tell, Minji..." You grip her head and begin to plunge into her mouth. "Hardship? We haven't even started yet. I'm not even at full size, stupid girl!" 

You see her eyes widening as tears begin to form with your rough treatment. Thinking back to Minji's words, you read her well. People doubted her—you could too. She wasn't so different from the others you've trained. All they needed was education to rely on you, devotion to you and love for you and only you.

"Make sure to keep your fucking teeth off of it," you growl while your fingers search for new ways to pull at her hair, to push her away and then slam her back down on your cock which is finally hardening at the arousal her fearful face brings. The inside of Minji's mouth grows wetter, sloppier, warmer, until suddenly—

The annoyance of her teeth returns and it stings. To start with blowjobs has both been a disaster for your pleasure but intense fuel to introduce Minji to the harsh reality that is you; you and the success that you bring. Everything she has ever wanted, you can bring her, and so she fights trough the tears and accepts that you press her flat on the floor and fuck down into her mouth like it's a pussy.

"Open wide, open wide," you repeatedly command, a hand on Minji's jaw to help her make this command come true. "You useless slut, don't waste your lips on such pathetic blowjobs. Fucking hell, when I'm done with you, you better deepthroat like a mid porn star.

"Fucking waste of my time, you stupid stupid girl. This is the standard HYBE is accepting now? Fuck, maybe we can't even blame the company for your group's future failure—it will all just be on you. If you don't fucking step it up, this is the last time you will ever contact me." 

Gaze still intensely focused on her, you pull out your cell phone and unlock it. You don’t really use it for much, except for phone calls, but this alone makes this device insanely valuable. You however don’t need to make a phone call now. You only need to show Minji one thing: your contact list.

She can see you scrolling past the names of tons of people, all in the industry. Well known producers, managers, executives, staff members, but most importantly, all highlighted by a colorful array of yellow, orange, red and pink: 

The full names of hundreds of female idols. Minji scans through the list, recognizing one Unnie after the other, from nugu second gen groups to absolute super stars.

You pull out of Minji's mouth, give her time to cough up all leftover spit and wipe her tears away. Ultimately, you help her up from the cold hard floor, the only thing still laying on the floor is her pride.

"Do you get it now?" you ask and look at her, eyebrows raised with the highest of expectations.

"Yes, Master."

"Then you know what you have to do."

"De-deepthroat like a p-porn star."

"Can you do that?"

Minji hesitates, something you cannot stand for the love of everything. You grab her hips and throw her on your desk, spin her until her head is hanging off of the table. With no further warning, because she does not deserve those anymore, you press your cock on her lips and fill more than her mouth. Minji's throat starts to visibly bulge from the massive width of your cock. 

Of course she is gagging, kicking her feet but that isn't even a flight response. There is no need for you to pin her down. She wants to stay, wants to become a good slut, a stupid girl that can suck your entire cock. Sadly, her newfound eagerness isn't rewarded with success. She needs training and stretching and so you stretch Minji's throat with lazy thrust and train her nose to accept your balls on them.

"You're so silly, but finally, we have some effort, Minji," you growl and reach into the top of her shirt. "We can work from here."

You fondle her breasts, run your hands down her soft stomach. 

"Good, I can definitely work with this. You remind me of—" 

But you pause, not wanting to divulge any advantages for her to pick up on. She looks like an absolute fuck doll as her head continues hang off the table. Even upside down, it was pretty when stuffed with your cock, your balls now touching her lips with each plunge. 

"Minji, it's not enough to deepthroat like a porn star. You'll learn to deepthroat like one of my perfect sluts, whores. Porn star is a start, but it will soon be an insult to you.”

She had no idea that her consideration as a future perfect whore meant you already took a liking to her. As of now, all she knew—no, all she could think of—was your cock and that she needed to keep her teeth off of it. It needed to fuck her throat if she wanted any chance at a great career. 

And so Minji takes it, acts like a whore who willingly gets gag induced drool over her face, then fat, filled balls on her nose and accepts the greedy hands all over her midriff. Minji always thought that she needs this tight, perfect form for the approvement of the public—now it's you who decides if her body is acceptable and ripe for a fucking. 

Your seal of approval is the frantic way you tear open her shirt, then her bra and start to knead her breasts, while her tongue movements become actually enjoyable. You thrust harder, making Minji's face pale as she struggles to get air. She looks gorgeous like that, so you slap her tummy and before the choking is too hard, you back off and pull your pants up.

"That's it for today," you say as Minji still gasps for air. "From now on, you'll be here everyday after practice."

Short silence, disbelief in her eyes. "H-huh—yes, Master."

"The door will be open. Walk in and lay down on the table, just like this. You will wait until I return or have time for you. It doesn't matter what happens, you will lay there until I am finished with you."

"Yes, Master."

"A lot will change." You rub sweat and spit off her temple with a gentle hand and look at her glassy eyes. "You might not get any sleep at all. Now you will learn true adversity.

"Okay, fuck it. You don't deserve this, but I don't care."

Pull your pants back down and lower your balls onto Minji's mouth. This time, there is no hesitation, and she opens her fuckable lips wide. Her tongue starts to twirl around your sac while you begin to jerk yourself off. When Minji finally starts to suck, you feel a satisfying conclusion to this messy meeting arriving. But—

"Why would I do it myself? Get your hand here!"

You find one of Minji's hands and start to spit on each finger. Like a waterfall, it runs down until you deem it lubricated enough. Then you put them around your manhood and begin to thrust. It's a lot colder than a pussy, but Minji seems to instinctively know how to tighten the gap, the grip, her hand-pussy suddenly becomes worth cumming in.

Take a final breath and climax, each pump sending long streaks of pearly white on Minji's body. You cover her in seed until one long line, from her navel to her throat, forms and you admire how carefully she worships your balls. Wipe your cockhead clean on her hand and make a mental note to have this soft palm be a useful masturbation aid for another time.

"Who would've thought that you're already in love with my balls?" You almost crack a smile through your stone cold facade. "A good sign that you're already a whore."

"M-Master, I..."

"Shut the fuck up.

"Tomorrow, after practice. No underwear, no questions, no one is allowed to know."

[reiderwriter]

Unfair We're Not Somewhere

Chapter Eight of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: With a little bit of help from someone who could relate a little bit too closely to your situation, Y/N tries to come clean. Tries.

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy symptoms/ general pregnancy things, unsub mentions, plot.

A/N: Chapter Eight! I'm so excited for where the rest of this series is going to go, though I do feel like people are going to be a bit annoyed by this one lmao. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below or in an ask! Don't be too mad...

Masterlist || Add yourself to the tag list

You sat quietly in the clinic as you waited for the pharmacist to fill your prescription - a simple pregnancy multivitamin that was supposed to help your food go down, make your hair shinier, and fix all your problems.

You wondered if the bottle could tell Spencer you were pregnant. You wondered if it could make him magically okay with that and prepare him for fatherhood, too. 

Your phone buzzed, and you surfaced from the field of thoughts you'd been lost in as you checked it. 

“Outside,” an unknown number had sent. You took that as your queue, stood up, and left the clinic, trying your best to avoid looking back at the small boy Spencer had been playing with. 

You weren't sure if you were going to have a boy or a girl yet. You didn't mind either, though you'd always envisioned yourself with a big enough family that you assumed at least one of each was inevitable. Though even you had to admit how stereotypically nuclear that was, and how only 18% of the country was living that was lying anyway. 

You shoved psychology from your head for a few minutes and let yourself breathe.

“Y/N!” JJ signalled from the driver's side of her still running SUV. She waved slightly, and you smiled politely as you quickly paced around to the side of her vehicle and got in. 

“Hi,” you said, unsure if you should introduce yourself or not. She'd been in the office the day you'd been taken into custody (protection), but you still had yet to speak to her. She'd been exempt from protective duty so far due to her status as a senior field agent and the fact that she had two kids and a husband at home waiting for her. 

You were sad she was the anomaly in the BAU, the only one with someone waiting on her. 

“I'm Y/N,” you said, still unsure if you should hold out a hand or not. You hadn't made the best impression on most of Spencer's colleagues, and while you didn't think there was much point in trying, you still couldn't bring yourself to be intentionally blasé. 

“I know, you're all we've been talking about for weeks,” the woman laughed, pulling out of the clinic car park and smiling at you. 

“Oh, right. Case. Of course, I've heard you probably know more about me than I know about myself.” 

“We have a profile, sure, but that's not what I meant.” 

You nodded awkwardly and stared out the window for a second, the sky darkening slightly as it prepared to rain. 

You drove for a few minutes before JJ spoke up again. 

“I don't know if Emily told you, but it's actually my day off today,” she said, turning off into a cul-de-sac you'd never seen before. 

“Oh, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I could've just got a taxi or something or just… gotten over myself. You didn't have to-” 

“Yes, I did,” she looked at you for a second, cocking her head to the side in a gesture that said, ‘and you know why.’ It was a look only a friend would give, and you felt an instant connection with her. 

How had Spencer found so many wonderful, big-hearted women to surround himself with, and how could you get in on it? 

You supposed, by letting him get you pregnant, you'd probably found a cheat code for whatever the answer might have been. 

“Anyway, it's my day off, so I promised my boys a fun day at home with mommy. We're doing finger painting and macaroni art. I hope you don't mind getting messy.” 

“Wha-? Me? Oh. No, not at all,” you tried to seem nonchalant, but your heart suddenly beat faster now that you were faced with this unexpected opportunity. As a lecturer, you'd been surrounded by kids professionally for years now. 18 to 21 year old kids. The kind that already had defined morals, world views, and, secretly, alcohol tolerances. The last time you'd encountered any kind of child younger than 18 was when you yourself were under 18.

The joys of toiling away at a doctorate for the better half of your adult life. You knew how to talk to professors and scholars. You were absolutely scared shitless of interacting with a kid. 

“H-How old are they?” You asked, trying to sound polite but falling somewhere between anxious and terrified with a simple stutter. 

“Well, Henry is turning 8 in November, and Michael is just about 22 months. He's just about talking, which is as fun as you can expect.” 

Her voice was tired, but there was genuine affection there, love for her kids and pride. You wondered if your voice would change if you'd suddenly begin speaking like that, too, about something other than a paper submitted to a journal or a job opportunity. 

She pulled into a street parking space and turned off the engine as two bright haired little boys came bouncing up the path of their garden to greet her, stopping at the gate. 

“Mommy! Michael got glitter on the carpet, and Daddy said we shouldn't tell you.” 

“And you have no sense of loyalty when a pretty face comes around, do you?”

Hopping out of the car, you heard JJ's husband drawl as she greeted him with a kiss. She'd probably only taken half an hour to pick you up, but they were still greeting each other so warmly. For a second, you wondered what that would be like before you remembered throwing yourself into Spencer's arms the night before. Your face heated as you stood awkwardly at the side of the car, trying not to cradle your stomach as you watched the family interact. 

Would your baby ever get that tall? Would it have brown eyes like Spencer, or one's more similar to your own? His hair was curly. Maybe your baby would get hair that waved like his, too. 

After all, JJ's kids seemed like perfect compromises between her and her husband. Other people's kids didn't, though. You wondered a lot of things before JJ gestured you over again. 

“Henry, Michael, this is Aunt Y/N. She's going to do those crafts with us today - after we've locked away the glitter and thrown away the key.” 

You laughed as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pushed you forward into the chaos of two kids under ten. 

You were a little startled as the smaller one - Michael - grabbed your hand. He had a pacifier in his mouth, though he was probably outgrowing it, and he stared up at you with big, wide eyes, blinking and sizing you up as he toddled along beside you. 

Your heart grew three sizes, and you felt sorry for ever being afraid of interacting with the kids. 

JJ whispered to her husband quickly as you entered the LaMontagne household, and he greeted you quickly. 

“So you're Spencer's lady friend. It's nice to meet you. It's nice that you're real. Honestly, I was getting a little-” 

A look from JJ cut him off, though he did still seem a bit confused. 

“I'm sorry, am I under the wrong impression? JJ said you were pregnant with Spencer's baby, y'all aren't…” 

“Oh my god-” you whispered, suddenly panicking again but whispering just in case. You weren't sure if the pair was religious, and though you certainly weren't, it probably wasn't the best time to blaspheme. You needed as much god as existed in the world. 

“So, does everyone know?” You asked JJ, trying to keep your voice bright and calm, so Michael didn't take too much of an interest and grow frustrated by hushed tones. You knew enough about child development and psychology, it translated over, right? 

“Everyone who's observant. Luke noticed the pregnancy vitamins in your bag, Tara was talking about your mood swings in the office the other day. I guess you told Emily earlier, and I have two kids.” 

You nodded at the answer. 

“And Spencer?” 

“You haven't told him yet?” JJ asked, slightly surprised. 

“If I told him, you'd know.” 

“Well, you're right on that. He's not the most easy-going during pregnancy,” JJ laughed and steered you into the living space, where your de facto art studio had been set up for the day, along with the offending glitter bomb. 

“Really? You thought you could keep that a secret?” 

“Well, of anyone was going to find it, it was going to be my beautiful, smart, funny, profiler Wife,” Will said, giving her a small peck on the cheek as she rolled her eyes at him. “I'm clocking in now. Call me if you need anything.” 

You waved him off, and sat down with the kids. 

JJ started the craft and then planned your hasty escape as the two boys were enraptured by making the perfect macaroni necklace, dusting it in objectively too much glitter as they proudly created their art. 

In the kitchen, she handed you a mug, and you sipped it quietly as she began again. 

“So, you're not dating?” 

“Nope.”

“And he doesn't know you're pregnant?” 

“No.” You took another sip and shifted from one foot to the other. 

You knew what was coming next. It was what you'd gotten next from Emily, from Penelope, from yourself when you'd thought about it for longer than ten seconds. You needed to tell him. 

“Okay. What's your next move?” 

You were so shocked you almost splashed the hot tea over the mug you held, close to burning yourself as you turned to face her. 

“I… what?” 

“Well, what's your next move? You're what, five months along? You're not going to be able to hide it for much longer. And you have to think about maternity leave, your hospital stay, and names, and who's going to drive you to the hospital. And obviously, how you're going to pay the hospital fee, and then custody and child support.”

“Oh god…” 

“And you also have to sort your relationship out with Spencer. So where are you starting?” 

It wasn't a question that didn't have an answer. JJ was staring at you, waiting for one as you opened and closed your mouth, head suddenly so empty you almost forgot what you were talking about. 

“He doesn't like me,” you suddenly blurted and wished you hadn't, face crumpling as you physically cringed at your own words. 

“Y/N, he was telling us about your toothbrush yesterday. Part of the office has a theory that he made up this case as a reason to get closer to you.” 

Again, you felt the heat blossom on tour skin as you looked away, taking another sip. 

“We don't do anything but argue.” 

“You do at least one other thing,” JJ said, hands on her hips as she confronted you. 

“No, that doesn't count. We were still arguing while we were doing…that.” 

“TMI,” she groaned as you fanned yourself. “Y/N, I know for a fact that Spencer is at least half in love with you. If you're absolutely sure you don't feel the same way, you need to at least let him down easy.”

“I…. I don't know. He's infuriating sometimes, but then he's so smart and annoying. But he's pretty great at comforting me. And the, uh, the other stuff, that was good, too.” 

“Don't need to-” 

“Like really good. Like, I'm not surprised I ended up pregnant practically first time good-” 

“Back on topic, please!” JJ whisper shouted, throwing her hands up as you zipped your mouth shut.

“You like him,” she said. 

You sighed and finally gave in. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I like him.” 

“Great. What next?” 

“Next, I tell him I'm pregnant and make him hate me for a while.” 

She patted you on the back and poised you another mug of tea before leading you back over to the kids and sitting beside them at the table. 

“We can plan something later. For now, macaroni art is calling.”

You weren't sure if it was the stern, practical pep-talk from JJ or the little tiny grasp of your hand from Michael. Maybe it was even Henry's goodbye of ‘see you soon, Auntie Y/N’ that had you suddenly invigorated, but you suddenly kicked yourself into gear. 

The pregnancy wasn't going to put itself on pause while you worked up the courage to tell Spencer about it. You had to do it. 

JJ dropped you off at home at 6 p.m., knowing that Spencer would be back at the apartment shortly. 

“You're sure you don't need me to stay up there with you? The commute can get a bit long this time of night, Spencer could be anywhere between 15 and 45 minutes.”

“No, I think… I think I need some time to think about how I'm going to do this. I need some alone time.”

She nodded quietly and sent you off after calling Spencer and giving him an update on your whereabouts. 

You paced the apartment wondering what the best option was. 

You could go for the bookshelf again, though it was still organised into your first message. You'd not moved a book in that stack at all, and surprisingly, neither had Spencer. 

Running into your room, you grabbed the pair of baby shoes you'd thrown into your bag from your apartment. Maybe if you left them on the shelf next to the books…? 

You put them there and frowned, wondering if he'd be able to see them from the door when he walked in. He was so used to the surroundings of his house that he really didn't check for irregularities. 

You moved them to the coffee table. Then you wondered if you should just hand them to him when he walked in. 

“Spencer. I am..pregnant,” you practised, looking into the bathroom mirror as you tried to force a smile. 

“Spencer. We're pregnant. No, not a chance,” you sighed. 

“Spencer, I have a parasite growing in me. I've had it for five months now, and then I'll have it for another four and hopefully a long time after that as well.” 

That one was mostly a joke. Mostly. 

“Spencer, I… We're going to have a baby.” You looked down at your bump again and decided that was probably your best option. It wasn't a state. It wasn't a condition or a parasite. It was a baby. 

You rubbed your stomach again and looked up, wiping away tears from the corner of your eye as you composed yourself again. 

The doorbell rang, and your heart race picked up. It was time. Spencer was home, and you were going to tell him. 

Suddenly, you were filled with excitement, with happiness. You ran to the door, stepping on the sofa to get there quicker as you ran to pull it open. 

Maybe it was the pregnancy brain fog, but you forgot where you were. 

Spencer Reid lived in this apartment. He didn't need to knock on the door or ring the doorbell. He'd never done it before. But you'd already swung the door open quickly, and you were so relaxed and ready for it to be him that when a hand extended and covered your mouth with a cloth, thick with a scent that had your body protesting, you could do nothing but crumple to the floor with your hands cradling yourself, protecting the life growing within you. 

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[nightprompts]

&. 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬𝐚 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  furiosa: a mad max story  (2024),  directed  by  george  miller.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit.  ) 

❛ as the world falls around us, how must we brave its cruelties? ❜

❛ we should go back now. ❜

❛ i'll come with you. ❜

❛ the stars be with you. ❜

❛ who's coming for us? ❜

❛ who do we have here? ❜

❛ what do they call you? ❜

❛ now, you have had a hard day, haven't you? you must be exhausted. ❜

❛ there's only one thing i need you to do and that is rest. ❜

❛ you don't have to say a word, i promise. ❜

❛ tomorrow, i'll take you home. ❜

❛ keep an eye on her, keep her safe. ❜

❛ you're bleeding. ❜

❛ i'm not gonna leave you. ❜

❛ whatever you have to do, however long it takes, promise me you’ll find your way home. ❜

❛ no, no, no. don’t look away. we mustn’t look away. ❜

❛ why would you run from me? ❜

❛ you’re gonna have to show me who you are. ❜

❛ you don’t have to watch if you don’t want to. ❜

❛ you may wanna close your eyes. ❜

❛ you will rule with me in the splendor of a new wasteland. ❜

❛ i’m afraid for you, sweetheart. really afraid. ❜

❛ witness me! ❜

❛ you’re all fools for coming here. ❜

❛ when things go bonkers, you have to adapt. ❜

❛ she looks nothing like you. ❜

❛ she has her mother’s perfections, and none of my deficiencies. ❜

❛ she’s perfect. not like the genetic absurdities you have for sons. ❜

❛ would you like to stay here in the citadel? ❜

❛ if i let you stay and you grow to become a strong, healthy woman, you could become one of our wives. ❜

❛ no! she’s not for sale, she’s mine. ❜

❛ you behave, i’ll behave. ❜

❛ where have i seen you before? ❜

❛ we're going to build ourselves a war rig. ❜

❛ he done the most runs on the fury road. and brung back the booty every time. ❜

❛ eyes left. they’re flanking us. ❜

❛ you’re going to pull over and get out. ❜

❛ where did you think you were going? ❜

❛ there is nowhere else. this is the wasteland. wherever you thought you were going does not exist. ❜

❛ i lost my convoy. i lost my crew. i’m gonna have to start again. and i’m driving off thinking i ought to start with you. ❜

❛ you may be raw, but you have about you a purposeful savagery. ❜

❛ you give me time, i’ll teach you everything you need to know about road war. ❜

❛ if you survive everything we take on together, you’ll have all the skills you need to get wherever you wanna go. ❜

❛ keep it. you’ll need it. ❜

❛ for you. for your travels. you’re done here. you’re free to go. ❜

❛ food, water, wheels, whatever you need. i'll help you put it together. give me a couple of days. ❜

❛ i want what you want. a full belly... and a fistful of bullets for a tank of gas. ❜

❛ we’re not leaving without our tankers full of gas. ❜

❛ you wanna get out of here, follow me. ❜

❛ let’s kill him. right now. ❜

❛ this place at the end of your map of secrets... where is it? ❜

❛ i wanna help you find this place. wherever it may be. ❜

❛ come with me. ❜

❛ there is no hope! not for them, not for you! certainly not for me! ❜

❛ it’s the price we all pay to survive in the wasteland. we cannot be soft! ❜

❛ stay! you’ll find peace here. ❜

❛ if you find him, he’s mine. ❜

❛ gentlemans, it’s time. time to do war. ❜

❛ here, no time for long goodbyes. we’ve done some mighty things together. goodbye. ❜

❛ you’ve found me. ❜

❛ you could have necked me in the night, but you didn’t. ❜

❛ i have nothing. i am nothing. ❜

❛ remember me? ❜

❛ you crawled out of a pitiless grave, deeper than hell. and only one thing’s gonna do that for you. and not hope. hate. ❜

❛ no shame in hate. it's one of the great forces of nature. ❜

❛ so... this is the day i die. i’ve always wondered how. ❜

❛ my childhood. my mother. i want them back. ❜

❛ i'm right there, i’m right there with you. i too craved nothing but revenge. ❜

❛ if the shooter goes around the back, the shootee won’t know the precise moment of the execution. ❜

❛ what you want, dear, are my cries of anguish. anguish without end. and if i could give you that, i would. ❜

❛ if you can’t do me quick, you’ll have to do me slow. ❜

❛ i’ve been waiting for someone like you, someone worthy of me. ❜

❛ no honor, no rule of law to sort things out. just two evil bastards out here in the wasteland. ❜

❛ you do this, you do this right, you become me. ❜

❛ i am nothing like you. ❜

❛ you are me. already dead. ❜

❛ to feel alive, we seek sensation. any sensation to wash away the cranky black sorrow. ❜

❛ the question is... do you have it in you to make it epic? ❜

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Slipped Through The Cracks

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.6k

Warnings: angst, domestic violence, bruises and cuts, heartbreak

Summary: Three years ago, you married your fiance while staring into the eyes of the love of your life. Spencer watched you get married to his brother when he had the chance to stop it. He should have. Three years later, you go running into his arms because your husband isn’t who you thought he was. Spencer let you go once, he won’t do it again.

Square Filled: go through me for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Then

A wedding day should be special. It should be the best day of a woman’s life. You’ve dreamed about the perfect wedding since you stumbled upon your mom’s dress when you were six. You even made a toilet paper veil to go with your short white dress you only wore for church on Sundays. You should be crying because you’re overwhelmed by the happiness, not because you’re terrified.

You’re standing at the altar with your fiance but all you’re thinking about is his brother. Spencer Reid is supposed to be the one you’re marrying. He’s supposed to be at your side, ready to promise you the world. Instead, it’s his older brother, Zack. Zack is… scary. He’s dominant. He’s possessive. He’s controlling. It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be but compared to Spencer, he’s the devil.

“Do you, Zachary Reid, take Y/N to be your lawfully wedded wife to cherish and to hold, to love until death do you part?”

He squeezes your hands and smiles.

“I do.”

“Do you, Y/N, take Zachary Reid to be your lawfully wedded husband to cherish and to hold, to love until death do you part?”

You open your mouth to respond but pause. Three seconds. That’s all you’re given to think about this decision. You look from Zack to Spencer who is standing right behind his brother. Spencer is the best man. There’s so much history between you three. You love Zack, don’t mistake that, but you’re in love with Spencer. When Zack was having one of his moments, you turned to Spencer for comfort.

Spencer was the one who stayed up with you when you couldn’t sleep. He’s the one you told all your secrets to. He supported you when you wanted to go back to school to get a bachelor’s degree. He came over when you were sick to take care of you when Zack was busy with work. He always gave you an extra present at Christmas time and on your birthday after everyone else had gone to bed.

He was your New Year’s kiss every year until Zack caught you two. He wasn’t mad but it wasn’t suspicious that Spencer sported a black eye the next day. He’s your best friend and soulmate yet you’re marrying someone else. If he feels the same as you, then this last second is his moment to say something.

He doesn’t.

“I do,” you say and pull your eyes from Spencer.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Zack pulls you close and kisses you in front of everyone. Cheers erupt and music plays as everyone celebrates this new chapter in both of your lives. The celebration moves to the reception area where everyone enjoys good food, good music, and each other’s company. The first dance begins and Zack pulls you onto the dance floor. He holds you close to him and sways softly to the music.

You look past his shoulder at Spencer who is watching you two with hooded eyes. He’s always been an easy book to read but at this moment, you can’t read a goddamn thing he’s feeling.

Now

You should have seen this coming. The warning signs were always there. Even before he laid a hand on you, something was telling you to run and never look back. It’s hard to say no to a man like Zack. He wants things done his way and if they aren’t, he turns into a whole other person. Someone darker. Someone with bad intentions.

He made it damn near impossible to leave.

The second an opportunity arose for you to leave, you took it. It’s why you’re running in a rainstorm toward the one person who can make this better. Even if he can make it better for a few hours, you’ll take it. You might have a few hours before Zack knows you’re missing if you do this right. You made sure none of his men or staff saw you on your way out.

Your tears blend in with the rain so the only indication that you’ve been sobbing is how puffy your eyes are. You’re in pain but the thought of going back to Zack brings you more pain than any of the physical wounds on your body.

When you get to his house, you lean on the door frame to catch your breath. It hurts to breathe since your ribs are poking your lungs but you manage. You knock frantically on the door until he opens the door. Spencer’s eyes widen when he sees the state you’re in. Torn dress, bruised skin, and soaking wet.

“Y/N… what…?”

You fall into Spencer and he wraps his arms around your body to keep you from crashing to the ground.

“Please help me.”

Spencer looks around to see if there is someone around to make you behave this way but sees nothing. He pulls you into his house, ignoring the pools of water on the floor. He brings you to the couch and sits next to you so he can examine your wounds.

“What happened? Does Zack know you’re here? Does he know you’re like this?”

It’s because you feel so safe with Spencer that you don’t think twice about telling him this. Once you say it, he’ll be the only person you have ever told about this part of your life. Zack has everyone on his side so no one will believe you.

“He’s the one who did this to me.”

Spencer turns on a lamp so he can see you better and gasps when he sees just how badly you’re bruised. You have a black eye, there is a yellow bruise under your chin that’s healing from the last time he hit you, your arms are both purple and a sickly yellow from the different stages of bruises, and he’s sure if he took off your dress, he’d see more bruises.

“Fuck.” Spencer doesn’t curse often so you know it’s a big deal when he does. “We need to get you to a hospital.”

“No!” Panic flurries in your chest at the thought. Zack has eyes and ears everywhere. “No hospital. You’re a doctor, right?”

“Not that kind of doctor,” he winces. He sees the desperation in your eyes and sighs. “Wait here. I’ll be back.”

Spencer leaves the room and comes back five minutes later with a hefty first aid kit. It hurts when he touches your bruises but you let him try and clean you up. You know he wants to ask because you can see it in his eyes but he respects you so he doesn’t.

“Zack and I went to a coffee house before going to his work. We were in line and he was on his phone. The guy behind us started a conversation with me. It was nothing. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. He was really nice but that pissed Zack off. When we got to his office, he accused me of cheating on him. I tried to tell him I never have but he wouldn’t hear it.”

“Is this the first time?”

“No,” you whisper. “It’s the fifth.” Spencer takes some gauze and dabs a cut on your face to clean some of the blood off. He’s shaking from how angry he is. “When it happened the first time, he kept saying how sorry he was and how much he loved me.” Tears spill over your eyes. “God, I’m an idiot.”

“He won’t hurt you ever again, okay?” You nod and he continues to clean you up as best as possible with his first aid kit. “Alright, the bleeding has stopped.” He gently caresses your face. “I shouldn’t have let you marry him three years ago.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you ask with a whimper.

“I thought you deserved better than me.”

You cry. “You’re the best there is, Spencer.”

Don’t do this, Spencer. This is wrong. She’s hurt and vulnerable. The little voice inside his head is telling him not to kiss you but he finds himself leaning toward you. You close your eyes expecting to feel his lips. Instead, your phone ringing is what interrupts you two. You don’t have to see it to know who it is. You take your phone out of your pocket and see Zack’s name on the screen. Spencer immediately snatches the phone from your hand and answers it.

“Zachary,” Spencer answers with venom.

“Where is my wife?”

“With me, but if you want her, then come get her. You’ll have to go through me to do it. Trust me, you don’t want to fuck with an FBI agent.” Zachary is flabbergasted and stutters as he tries to think of something to say. He could never stand up to Spencer despite being older. “Get a lawyer. You’re never seeing her again, you dick.”

Spencer hangs up on your husband, and you stare at him with parted lips and wide eyes. No one has ever stood up for you like this before. He looks like he is going to get up, and you grab at his arms to stop him.

“Please don’t leave me,” you beg.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He pulls you into his lap and kisses your head. “I’m not a doctor, Y/N. You need to go to the hospital.”

“As long as you come with me. Tomorrow. Tonight, just hold me.”

“You got it.”

With ease and comfort, he scoops you into his arms and brings you to his bedroom. You’ve been with him for nearly an hour but it’s the safest you’ve felt in a long time.

x

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[henry7931]

Freaky Friday Block Part I

In a quiet neighborhood, 40 individuals one Friday morning all woke up in the wrong body. Although, all of them know each other— none of them are sure how or what happened to cause it. So the mystery begins…

Friday 8:00AM

An alarm starts to sound abruptly.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Max:

“Ugh… what time is it?”

*Yawns*

“Wait, what the? Where am I?”

This isn’t my room… my feet they look huge….

Who’s bed am I in? And what’s wrong with my feet?

I climb out of bed and feel my weight hit the ground, my stomp sounds heavier.

I look at my arms, my legs, something isn’t right…

I walk to the door of the strange bedroom I’m in and open it. Looking out in the hallway, it starts to look familiar.

“This is Jacob’s house, what am I doing at Jacob’s?”

Wait my voice? It sounds deeper and has this rasp to it.

I walk into Jacob’s bathroom and turn on the light.

“AHHHHHHHHH!!!”

This can’t be possible. How is this possible? Looking at me in the mirror is… Jacob’s dad, Mr. Thomas.

I splash cold water in my face thinking this may all be a dream but I’m still Mr. Thomas.

I pinch his cheek and the feel slight stubble on his face.

My realization starts to stink in that this is in fact not a dream, I am actually my friend’s dad Daniel Thomas.

I stare into his face taking it all in, Mr. Thomas is a handsome man. At least, I’ve always thought he’s attractive. He’s single with two sons and I’ve never seen him with a woman.

I run his fingers down his arms, flexing his muscles a bit which causes me to giggle.

I repeat back into the mirror, “Hi, I’m Dan Thomas.”

It sounds funny hearing my self control such a deeper voice.

I look down at his chest and then my eyes focus in on his boxer briefs.

Curious, I pull down his boxers and Mr. Thomas’s 10 inch semi hard manhood and huge hairy balls is fully exposed.

“Not bad!” I say checking out his junk from every angle.

I turn around and get a glance of his cute hairy butt. I smack it and start laughing again.

Mr. Thomas is such a serious guy and I never see him act goofy. Making him do things so out of character is kind of a turn on.

I had a moment of fun before coming back to reality. I need to figure out what’s going on and why I’m Mr. Thomas.

But who do I even talk to about this? Should I say something to Jacob or is going to think his dad’s gone mad…

Screw it, I’ll knock on his door.

*Knock Knock*

“Hey Jacob, open up it’s uhh… it’s dad!”

Geez, I’m not good at this.

The door doesn’t open but then I hear a door across the hallway open. It’s Jacob’s little brother.

“Hey dad, what’s up?” he says to me.

“Hey Conner, I was trying to your brother up.”

“Conner? Dad did you just call me Conner?”

All of the sudden, Jacob’s door opens and Jacob is standing at the door.

“What’s going on?” he says with a big yawn.

It takes a second for everything to click but both Conner and Jacob scream on the top of their longs.

“Conner?!??”

“Jacob?!???”

“But… but how?”

“Well I have some news boys, I’m not your dad either. It’s me Max.”

“Max??!??”

Well I guess I’m glad I’m not the only one who woke up as someone else this morning.

Meanwhile Two Houses Down, a guy named Ashton is babysitting his nephew Davy.

Davy:

I woke up feeling weird and for some reason why I’m in Uncle Ash’s bed!

“Uncle Ash?”

Wow! My voice sounds funny!!!

I swing my legs out of bed but then I notice something very different….

My feet look like someone else’s!

I stand up and notice I’m so much closer to the ceiling.

I walk out to the hallway and head to the bathroom.

When I turn on the light, I COULD NOT BELIVE WHAT I SAW!!!

IM UNCLE ASH!!!

I looked in the mirror and couldn’t look away. I’m so much more tall! And hairier?

“Wow Uncle Ash had tattoos?? Cool!”

This is amazing!!! All of my friends are going to be so jealous!!

Wait… if I’m uncle Ash, then who’s me???

Across the street another house with college/ graduate students guys starts to wake up.

Kyle:

“Mhmmm… that feels so good….”

Wait…. My dick feels kinda funny….

“Wow what the fuck?”

My body look didn’t and why the hell am I in Skylar’s room?

I hope out of bed and head to the bathroom.

I know us guys partied last night but I didn’t drink that much to fall asleep in Skylar’s bed.

I get the bathroom and open up the door. Only to find Zeek on the floor with his tongue out.

“Zeek you okay?”

“Woof!”

“What the hell?”

I glance into the mirror only for eyes to get bigger. I see Skylar’s good looking face looking back at me.

Across the street from the Thomas’s house.

Daniel Thomas:

*Yawn*

“Boy that was one of the best sleeps I’ve had in awhile.”

“What a sec.. where am I?”

[aklaustaleteller]

Not For A Long Time

Klaus returns back to his lover omega's cottage after a long time, and he wants nothing more than to just mark her as his, all over again. But all Y/n seems to want, is to eat her dinner and get on his nerves, ...and to absentmindedly rub herself all over him.

Warnings - allusions of smut, and Alpha/Omega dynamic.

Word Count - 1.3k

Masterlist | Please reblog if you like the fic!

This is something I found in my drafts and well, let's just say I wanted to get it out of there. It's quite aimless and silly, and doesn't have my best writing skills used, but I still hope you enjoy reading hahah <3 (I lowkey enjoyed writing this type of fic though, so do let me know if I should write more stuff like this!!)

A candle flickered in the middle of the kitchen island, its crackling being the only sound other than one of the running water in the sink.

The fridge was, quite carelessly, left open ajar as Y/n kept herself busy on the other end, washing the rice before she could cook it. She hummed a very gentle tune, or it could be a rock song that her soft voice just happened to make sound similar to a lullaby.

It was as she was taking out a casserole from the fridge that she felt the night wind come in with a rather strong force, freeing some of her loose hair strands from where they were tucked behind her ear.

"Klaus, how lovely it is to see you," she smiled, closing the fridge and lifting her gaze from the stove to settle it onto the charming intruder.

"Hello, love," he pursed his lips before a smirk dug out one of his dimples. "It's been quite a long time," he continued, strolling closer to her.

Shaking her head, she turned away from him to focus on the task at hand. "A week is not a long time, Klaus," she said with a chuckle.

"Not even when it's your lover Alpha that's been gone?" He asked as a whisper in her ear, resting his chin on her shoulder while snaking his arms around his waist from behind.

"I'm afraid I cannot give you the answer to that in just words," she answered, her voice having gone quieter along with his, and turned her face to press a peck on the corner of his mouth, doing it again when a smile stretched out on his lips.

He sighed then, letting his eyes fall shut as he breathed in her scent. The smell of old books, soil after it's just rained along with some hint of a rose and finally, her blood, knocked his senses out for a couple seconds.

It reminded him of the first time he had caught the whiff of her scent from a couple miles away, the full moon shining down on him and making his night-sky fur look silkier than it was. Taking advantage of being in his wolf form, he’d chased down the scent and ended up coming to a halt in front of a front garden lit up with warm lights coming from inside the cottage.

He'd seen a couple fireflies near the ivy that crept all over the walls from outside, making the building look rather earthly and older than the time itself. The noise of plates and bowls clattering didn't go amiss by Klaus, making him near the noise with deliberate steps.

Saliva coated his tongue as he finally stood just below the window, keeping himself hidden as his eyes peered inside to see a woman stirring something in a pot, sputters of laughter falling from her soft mouth as an energized dog skittered around her feet, clawing at her skirt to reach the treat she held up high in her free hand.

His lips had pulled back in a smile then, eyes unable to move on from her.

He'd returned every night since then, catching her attention on a particular one when she'd been out by the lake, crying in her knees and that was when Klaus had realised that the woman, he'd secretly been going mad after, was an Omega, left all alone when she should've been in an Alpha's arms, being taken care of in all shape and form.

And so, very calmly he'd approached her and when she'd realised that he was an Alpha wolf, she lost even that slight control over her emotions and clutched his fur as she cried into his neck, stutters and hiccups escaping her mouth until she'd calmed down and passed out, tired, in his presence.

That was the day he'd swore to himself that he wasn't going to let her end up hurt ever again. And as he took her home in his arms, silently hoping that she wouldn't wake up to catch him naked, he'd laid her in her bed when she allowed him to enter his home in a sleepy haze.

"Stay, Alpha?" she'd asked, her eyes moistening all over again and Klaus had not the heart to leave her be, causing him to lie down beside her and hold her in his arms as she purred and slept the night away, his body merely covered by her sheets.

Since that night, he'd learned that she'd been crying that day because her puppy-dog had been adopted by someone in the town who had also adopted his siblings. He would be happier with them, she'd sobbed into his arms while telling him, trying to reassure herself over Klaus.

And also, the fact that she was, indeed, an Omega yet to be claimed by an Alpha. She'd yet to give herself to him completely, to surrender herself to be his to love and care for. But Klaus understood that, accepted her past traumas and allowed her time to open up to him day by day.

"I was just preparing dinner. Care to join this lonely Omega, Alpha?" She asked, giving him her full attention after finally placing the food on the stove.

Looking at him doe eyed as he cupped her cheeks and pressed a kiss on her mouth, she whimpered when a growl rumbled deep in his chest, meant to be heard just by her.

"Of course," he accepted gently, backing her up until she was sat on the kitchen island.

She motioned for him to wait, and Klaus looked at her confusedly before he saw her blow out the candle behind her. A chuckle came from him, finding the action cute.

Y/n faced him again with a sloppy smile on her face, letting him press kisses on her mouth over and over again until he had her laughing and pulling away from him. He chased after her nonetheless -- pressing his mouth to her forehead, cheeks, nose, chin and continued to pepper kisses down her jaw.

And it was when he reached her collarbone that he truly began marking her. He left a trail of love bites behind as he scattered his kisses all over the exposed skin. Her little whimpers and moans only made him hungrier for her, making him pull her hair back, giving him more skin to mark up.

"Klaus --" she began but he cut her off with a hiss.

"Now, darling," he breathed warningly against her skin. "It’s Alpha," he corrected her.

"Pl-please, Alpha," Y/n purred, beginning to feel sensitive. "Need to turn off the stove, please," she begged him to let her get away, and Klaus did.

Lifting her off the counter, he let her wrap her legs around his waist as he walked over and turned off the stove and moved on to speed up the stairs.

He laid her on the fluffy bed that reeked of her scent but before he could lie down over her and rid her of the clothes that got in the way of his mouth and her skin, she was out of the bed and running away from him, spurts of laughter falling from her lips.

His eyes flashed golden just for a second before he was chasing after her, finding the situation rather amusing.

"I'm hungry, Alpha. Won't you eat with me?" She said out of breath when he caught up to her, snatching her from behind and into his chest.

And her giggles stopped altogether when she heard him growl, this time louder to warn her against disobeying him as she realised that she’d begun getting on his nerves now.

"Please Alpha?" She mewled for him, getting him with those eyes all over again as he accepted her pleas and took her over to the dining table, bringing her the dinner and feeding it to her whilst she sat in his lap, talking about all the happenings that she came across while he was gone, not for a long time, clearly, as she couldn’t stop absentmindedly rubbing herself all over him.

[gracefulserpent1207]

SONIC 3 MAJOR SPOILERS!!!

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE FILM

My Sonic 3 Review:

Opening the film with Shadow waking up to memories of Maria I am SICK

Maria... was playing... Live and Learn... on guitar... omg... my heart...

OZZY'S "You stole my hoomans!" LMAOOOOOO

The fact that when Sonic says to Tom "I don't know what I'd do without you, I'd probably be a completely different hedgehog", they cut to Shadow - that is PEAK cinematography!

SHADOW ON HIS MOTORBIKE!!!

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY AGENT STONE ON A MOTORBIKE HELLO???

Tails wanted to go the chao garden he is so adorable I love him so much 😭 and the look on his face when they start performing he's just a little guy 🥺

THE WAY THE CHAO WERE RUNNING ABOUT WHEN THE CHAO GARDEN WAS ATTACKED WAS SO FUNNY

Eggman watching telenovelas is so accurate actually

Agent Stone is just so in love isn't he? In fact the Stobotnik scenes in this film were some of my favourite scenes - Lee Majdoub you're amazing

Keanu Reeves was AMAZING as Shadow

Shadow looked so scared when he was put in the tank and it was filling with water poor baby 🥺

One thing that was NOT on my Sonic 3 bingo chart was COMMANDER WALTERS FUCKING DYING??? THEY KILLED THE OLIVE GARDEN GUY???

Maria drawing a bunny face over Shadow in the tank she is so precious I love them both so much 😭

The little montage of Shadow and Maria hanging out made me SICK (in a good way) especially that scene when he's running through the halls pulling her behind him on her rollerskates LOL

NOOOOO SHADOW YOU'RE NOT AN ALIEN FREAK DON'T LISTEN TO THAT STUPID MOVIE

"There's still light, even when the star's not there anymore" okay so I'm just gonna cry into my popcorn now thx

Stone calling Tails adorable he is so real for that

Eggman saying that he's "undesirable to all possible genders" 🤨🏳️‍🌈 'whoa he's bisexual I didn't know that!'

Speed reference!

"It's like we're in a movie and we're both being played by the same actor! *Slowly stare into camera*" That fourth wall break was BRILLIANT

I can't decide whether Tom's puppet of himself is absolutely hilarious or absolutely terrifying

The montage of Eggman and Gerald lol! (but poor Stone was left out ☹️)

The entire London break-in scene was great! Especially when Knuckles finally got to break the glass!

REVENGE GUAC

Can we take a minute to appreciate the complete contrast between Gerald saying "a WOMAN in the MILITARY 😒" and Shadow saying that the girl in the telenovela should kill both the guys fighting over her because she's "not a prize to be won"?

Also Shadow watching a telenovela and telling the girl to kill both guys is so accurate LMAO he really said 'YOU LEAVE THAT LATINA ALONE!'

Ngl for a hot second I GENUINELY thought Tom was dead that was SCARY

Are we gonna talk about the fact that Gerald and Shadow were ready to kill themselves if it meant getting revenge?

The way Shadow's face changes and he flashbacks to Maria when he sees Sonic knelt next to Tom begging him to wake up... The parallels between Sonic and Shadow in this film... Oh my goodness...

Sonic getting mad enough to steal the Master Emerald from Knuckles was also NOT on my Sonic 3 bingo chart - I thought we were gonna see them fight each other for a sec which was CRAZY

I'm not the biggest Wade fan but Sonic effortlessly taking the Master Emerald from him and him replying "well I tried" was comedy GOLD - all that training in the Knuckles series for nothing huh 😂

Sonic turning super for vengeance purposes oh my goodness...

Maria's death scene really gave me goosebumps - the way Commander Walters shouts "don't shoot they're children!" - the way Shadow's face changes when he sees Maria dead - the way Gerald was crying...

I think it really says a lot about G.U.N that in this version, they didn't even shoot Maria but they were still actively responsible for her death - that officer DID shoot and he DID try and aim at Maria and that explosion WAS caused by him

Obviously I hate G.U.N but I actually feel kinda bad for Walters now like he really did try to save her didn't he 🫤

Both Gerald and Walters refer to Maria AND Shadow as children which I appreciate cuz it shows how young Shadow really was when everything went to hell for him - he's just a baby your honour he didn't MEAN to blow up earth 🥺

Sonic attacking Shadow in super form was just... WOW! He was REALLY angry wasnt he?

SUPER SONIC VS SUPER SHADOW??? HOLY SHIT!!! THAT BATTLE WAS EPIC!!! 🤯

Sonic almost killing Shadow over him almost killing Tom was a really great way to relate Sonic and Shadow's stories - Sonic coming around when Shadow points to his heart, thinking about what Tom said at the start of the film parallelling Shadow then coming around after remembering what Maria said to him... This is one hell of a film!

Sonic and Shadow watching the sun come up together as Shadow repeats what Maria says about light and stars 😭

"Don't tell me you've got a catchphrase..." "Yep, and everyone loves it!" Another fourth wall break that did NOT disappoint.

LIVE AND LEARRRRRN!!! HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMMOROW— 🎶

THEY DID THE SA2 POSE!!! I REPEAT, THEY DID THE SA2 POSE!!! AND IN SUPER FORM TOO!!!

Did they just... fucking... incinerate Gerald... wtf.... RIP I guess...

Shadow attacked those robots with SUPER CHOAS SPEARS in one scene!!! Which is AWESOME!!!

Eggman switching sides cuz even he knows blowing up the world is a bad idea 👍

I could go on and on and on about the Super Sonic and Super Shadow scene IT WAS SO GOOD!!!

Sonic falling to earth gave me a heart attack. Tails then falling to earth whilst trying to save Sonic also gave me a heart attack. Knuckles going to save them both making me think he was also gonna fall to earth gave me a third heart attack.

The way I physically leaned forward in my seat when Shadow took off his inhibitor rings—

They pissed on the moon.

We've seen Shadow smile so much in this film and it is SO refreshing to see! That smile right before he and Sonic team up to attack those robots Gerald sends after them is my favourite smile we've ever seen on him.

Eggman dedicated his last speech before dying to Stone 😭😩🥹 AND STONE SAYING "I CAN'T LOSE YOU AGAIN" THEY BETTER KISS IN THE NEXT FILM I SWEAR—

Team Sonic hug 🥹

Ending on the race was perfect (bonus points for Ozzy barking with subtitles again because that was HILARIOUS)

WE GON RUN IT RUN IT RUN IT TILL WE RUNNING OUTTA ROAD 💃💃💃

OMG AMY! AMY AMY AMY OH MY GOODNESS AMY! HELLO AMY! I'VE MISSED YOU SWEET AMY! AMY AMY AMY AMY AMY AMY!!! I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW THAT HAMMER! AMY ROSE! HI!!! YOU LOOK SO GOOD!!! AMY AMY AMY!!!

Oh yeah and Metal Sonic.

AMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

So great to see that Shadow's NOT dead (although tbf I did kinda expect that - it would've been unlikely that they genuinely kill him off when he's such a popular character)

Honestly I think the END end credits scene was a perfect set up for a Shadow spinoff, like they HAVE to make one now

I also think the two end credits scenes together show that Eggman isn't really dead either - again it would be unlikely for them to kill him off PLUS if Shadow managed to chaos control himself out of there he could've easily gone back for Eggman too (and I mean who else is gonna be responsible for creating Metal Sonic?)

AMY, PEOPLE, AMY!!!

Overall, I think it's pretty clear that I LOVED this film! It was amazing and I'm already excited for the next one lol! ❤️

[sinful-lanterns]

Not me thinking about teacher Raven and reader getting caught.

Particularly imagining Raven being half way through whipping her poor little art teacher's butt nice and read, when Principal Chief and secretary Nightingale walk in on them. The pair both being stunned to silence for a moment before the door slams behind them, the sound of the lock that Raven forgot to latch closing as well.

Suddenly you're being held down more harshly, as they make Raven start over from the beginning and tell them ALL about how you've been coming to her between classes to have your overactive brain wiped clean by her whip. The two women watching with masked interest when Raven grabs your hair and makes you describe how you want to be treated like this, and all the ways it makes you feel good.

After the spanking is over, Nightingale "confiscates" your panties before they both leave and you have to spend the rest of the day commando. And then... nothing? Days, weeks, over a month goes by.

Then suddenly you're being called to the Principal's office. You're not sure whats happening, you haven't done anything wrong, that they aren't alrsady aware of. But you go, cause obviously you can't refuse.

Imagine you're surprise when you walk in to see Chief and Nightingale standing on either side of Superintendent Langley as she lounges back in the Chief's chair. Her desk covered in various shapes and sizes of paddles, floggers, restraints, vibrators, straps, and over course a lovely leather collar and matching leash that suspiciously looks like the thin delicate chokers both Chief and Nightingale wear as well.

~🐁

CW: Workplace sex and relations, spanking, orgy, exhibition, Reader is a bit of a masochist

My exhibitionist side is screaming at the idea of getting caught by Chief and Nightingale 😵‍💫

Just imagining Raven jolting in horror when her boss and assistant catch her in the act of spanking you. The sight is unmistakable as you’re bent over her desk with your skirt pulled down, your ass all exposed and tender while Raven is standing over you with a whip. Before Raven could even sputter an explanation, Nightingale locks the classroom door and Chief holds you down. Somehow, the situation de-escalated and escalated at the same time, because Chief and Nightingale weren’t just mad, they were mad you were doing this without them.

Cue Chief telling Raven to spank you again. Harder. Faster. Nightingale tilts your head up to look at Chief in the eye while thick, fat tears roll down your face. Your eyes look so pretty curtained by wet lashes, and the more you sniffle, the more turned on Raven, Chief and Nightingale get. After that little encounter however, nothing really happens between you and your boss. Raven hasn’t been punished either, so you wondered if they were gonna let your little escapade slide…

Nope. About a week later you are called into the Principal’s office and see Chief, Nightingale, and superintendent Langley standing around Chief’s desk. Raven is nowhere to be seen, so this appears to be a punishment only reserved for you, with various paddles, whips, flogs, and even gags scattered among the desk that seemed perfectly tailored for your little masochistic tendencies.

“So you’re the little one getting spanked and toyed with by the other teachers,” Langley hums, picking up a paddle and running her hand over the surface. She gives the paddle a rough smack against her palm, the sound echoing across Chief’s office and making both her and Nightingale flinch. “Such behavior is unacceptable. You should know better that you must submit yourself to your superiors first before engaging with your fellow teachers. Such behavior calls for appropriate punishment.”

Langley smirks while Chief and Nightingale beckon for you to come closer, the blonde woman making it clear that her version of punishment would be a lot rougher than Raven or Chameleon’s.

“Now bend over.”

[tales-of-wocdes]

Im thinking about a mc who climbed over the orphanage wall to get to see the city but in there they bump into some rich person who doesn't know that they are from the orphanage and is about to discipline the kid but their hand gets stopped by lexia or even the ancient grandpa being like I would not do that if I were you

There are reasons why climbing over the wall would be very unlikely to happen. I would also assume if MC can fly, measures will be taken to stop MC from leaving the premises like that :D

Still, let's assume that somehow it happened. And let's play up the "rich person" a bit.

Having the ancient grandpa is a bit problematic for story reasons... but it's not like these have to be cannon :D So why not?

------------------------

You were starring at all the stalls, and smelling all the smells. There is so much to see out here. So many things you have never seen before.

You were too lost looking at a woman frying meat on sticks, skewers you think they are called. It smelled so good. And the man that had some kind of juicy green thing with red insides... it looked tasty, he was chopping it into cubes with a big knife. Which is why you were staying back....

Which is why you ended up here. You are sitting on the street looking up at a very angry, very oddly dressed and very loud person. They are shouting something about "dirty street rats".

You bumped into this person while looking at the stalls... Now they are angry with you... What should you do? Lots of people are looking this way.

Should you run away? That seems like a good option. Run away before this person decides to start hurting you.

You scramble up, and try to flee.

An iron grip grabs you by the shoulder.

"Where do you think you are going?!" The person screams and drags you back roughly.

You try to struggle, try to slip away again. It just makes the person angrier.

"Stop squirming you little shit! Look at what you did to my clothes!"

Why are they so loud? Why are they so mad?

You try to wiggle out of their grasp again.

"Stop! Stop!" They scream at you. "Listen to me!"

You see the raised hand as it starts descending.

Oh. They are one of those. A bad person.

You squeeze your eyes shut. You doubt it will hurt that much, but instinct is instinct. You sort of regret sneaking out now.

You wait.

And wait.

Yet, the blow never comes.

You peek at the angry person...

---------------------LEXIA---------------------

A silver gauntlet is holding the hand that was about to strike you. Familiar red hair.

"You ok, kid?" Lexia asks and looks down at you.

She's here! Your Protector. She came for you, even when you snuck out.

You nod at her. The angry person is screaming something at Lexia now, but she just waits for your nod. Then smiles at you.

"Good. Just give me a moment."

Then she turns her face to the angry person and smiles.... Is that a smile? It is very different from her usual smiles. That is a lot of teeth... her eyes look different too.

"Calm down." she says. It sounds pleasant enough... It doesn't feel pleasant though. Something is off about the tone...

More people are gathering and all are staring. At Lexia.... Her armor. The silver armor is very distinctive.

The angry person is not calming down. Instead they are now ranting at Lexia.

"How dare you touch me! Let go you thug! Let go!" Their hand holding you comes off and they try to slap Lexia with it...

She catches the other hand in the air.

"Calm down." She says again.

The angry person does not calm down.

"Telling someone to calm down, never works." Lexia mutters. The person keeps trying to wiggle free... is this what people call irony? You tried to wiggle free earlier from this person's grasp, and now they are doing it too.

However, unlike they did for you, Lexia just lets go. All at once.

The person falls on their butt against the street. Much like you had when you had bumped into them.

They stare up at Lexia with such fury you wish to take a few steps backwards. Lexia just stares back.

"How dare you! Do you have any idea who I am!"

Lexia raised an eyebrow. "No clue. Do you have any idea what you were about to do?" She asked in turn. "You are rather lucky I got here in time."

"What are you on about?"

"You know, no Protector will stand by and let you beat little kids. Or if they do, then they are not worth their armor." For emphasis, she patted her silver armor.

Only then does the angry man take notice of who... or maybe what they were shouting at.

The angry person goes a bit pale, and reigns in most of their anger. "A Protector? And what exactly does that change?" Their gaze then lands on you.

The child, they were about to hit.

The Silver Protector standing between you and them.

"You were about to hit my charge." Lexia says. "Do you know what I am allowed to do to protect MC over there?" She asks, and then smiles a very scary smile. "Pretty much anything I deem necessary."

You feel she is exaggerating, but she is pretty mad... You think she is mad at least. Her shoulders are all stiff.

"But...." Lexia trails off and looks a bit to the side. "As I said, you are lucky I got here in time. Now you only get to spend a few nights in jail for attempted assault... abuse... whatever." She nods at a man in grey armor that people are making way for.

A Grey Protector. A counterpart to Lexia, who was to the city as a whole what Lexia was to the Orphanage.

Lexia leans in and whispers to the indignant person. You are the only one close enough to hear. "Had you actually managed to land a blow, you would be a smear on the street by now. "

Is she serious? She seems very serious.

Lexia spins around as the formerly angry person spluttered something indignant, now very pale.

"Come on kid. How about we get some snacks?" She offers you her hand, smiling just like usual.

You nod. Snacks sound nice right now.

---------------------GRANDPA SHEO---------------------

The hand that was about to strike you has been stopped in midair. The angry person's mouth is stuck open, but nothing is coming out.

Actually, the whole street seems to have just... stopped.

What? How? Why would reality break now, after all this time?

A little bit behind you, movement catches your attention. You twist your head to see.

A tall frame with wide shoulders. A black robe. Snow white hair with a matching beard. An unreadable face.

Something stares at you for a good while. Inspecting your well being.

Before you have the time to process, the world comes back to life.

The angry person starts screaming again, yet their hand about to strike you is not moving. They still have a hold on you.

"Remove the hand, or lose it." Something tells the angry person. It is odd, the words are quiet but somehow they cut right though the shouting and the noise of the street.

The person let's go as if burned. They stare at something with wide eyes.

"Begone trash." It is a silent voice. Something speaks with such a normal volume, and each word is so clear.

The formerly angry person does not need to be told twice, they flee.

Something turns to you, and seems to be considering something. You stare back, unsure of what to say.

"You done being dramatic?" Asks a woman's voice. Both you and something turn to look.

She is as tall as something is, with incredibly red eyes and high heels. Yet she is wearing a shirt and trousers... Who?

"I was not being dramatic. I was helping the child." Something says.

"By being dramatic." The woman rolls her eyes. "You could have helped without making a huge scene. Now because you wanted to show off for the cute kid, Nuaran will know where we are. Which means escaping a council meeting is a no go."

Nothing changes on something's face, but you get the distinct impression he is now rolling his eyes at her. "You wanted to escape the meeting. I just tagged along because you wanted me to." He says.

"Yes, yes, blame me, why don't you! Now you ruined my plans with your need to show off, and will buy me lots of food in recompense." Her gaze drifts to you.

"Hi, aren't you an adorable one." She says and kneels in front of you. Are you? Lexia always says so but you are not sure. "Are you hurt?" She asks.

You are not hurt. A little confused but that is your constant state of existence. So you shake your head.

"Good. Now, why don't you come with us, and tell him." She points at something. "To buy you all the snacks you want. You know he only shows off like that for kids anyway. Imagine that. He cares nothing for what adults think of him, but a child dislikes him and he sulks for days." She winks at you. "So you might as well take advantage of his idiotic tendencies."

Something is an idiot? That's not a very nice thing to say. He did save you!

The woman must read the indignation off your face and laughs.

"I say it with affection, little one." She says.

Does that make it ok? You are not sure...

"Elri, stop confusing the child. And I do not sulk... I brood. Sometimes I am even quite... jolly." Something says dryly. He ignored the raised eyebrow the woman gives him, and comes to kneel in front of you too. "Child, where are your caretakers? Havard or Lexia?"

Uh oh... You squirm before that gaze.

You think both of them know immediately why.

The woman, Elri, laughs. "Impressive. To escape from the orphanage at your age."

"Indeed." Something says. "Come along then. I shall inform your caretakers of your location. For now, we find somewhere to eat."

You think that's fine... You have a feeling neither Havard or Lexia can make these two stop doing whatever they want. And if what they want is feed you a ton of snacks... Well you have heard worse offers.

So you nodded and went with them.

You did not really pay attention to all the staring, too busy studying the two Ancients casually strolling down the street.

---------------------GRANDPA SHEO ALTERNATIVE------------------

When you open your eyes, all you see is a tall frame with wide shoulders. A black robe. Snow white hair with a matching beard. An unreadable face.

Something stares at you for a good while. Inspecting your well being.

"Are you well child?" He asks.

You nod slowly. Where did the angry person go? They are nowhere to be seen... Why are people looking towards the bay?

"Really?" A woman's voice asks. And you spin around to look at her. She is as tall as something is, with incredibly red eyes and high heels. Yet she is  wearing a shirt and trousers... Who?

"Are we now just throwing our citizens into the bay? Nuaran will complain. Again." She tells something, looking stern. "Especially if something eats that waste of life."

Something shrugs. "Nuaran can complain all he wants, the waste of life won't die... just have a very bad day. Don't pretend Elri. You are just upset you did not do it first."

The woman stares at something... Then smiles. "You know me too well."

"One would certainly hope so after all these millennia."

What are they talking about? Isn't millennia a really long time? Havard did call something an Ancient... Lord Sheo... Did he really throw the angry person into the bay? But.... that's... You are in the middle of a street. You can't even see the sea from here!

The woman's gaze drifts to you.

"Hi, aren't you an adorable one." She says and kneels in front of you. Are you? Lexia always says so but you are not sure. "Don't worry about the details." She says.

[Pretty much the same scene from now on]

--------------

Let's call this over 1.9k word snippet thanks for over 8k and 9k browser plays :D I am not sure I am happy with it, but it now exists so... :D

[bullet-prooflove]

The Good Book: Tim Gutterson x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @fallmoreinloveeveryday @elenavampire21 @floralfloyd @lamaudite

Companion piece to:

Lucky - Tim's assignment doesn't go to plan.

Stars - Tim's not like other men.

You make good on that gift basket. Tim finds it sitting on the welcome mat outside his apartment one day when he arrives home from the gym. There’s a couple of IPAs in there, classy chips and chocolate,  that special brand of coffee he’d become obsessed with when in Indonesia, one he knows costs a fortunate to import to the US. And then there’s the book, the one you were telling him about that night underneath the stars.

It’s a Brandon Sanderson novel, The Way of Kings. He’s not much into fantasy. Magic and shit ain’t really his thing. He much prefers the darker writings of Stephen King and James Herbert, he thinks those fellas get the human condition in a way most people don’t. However he’d promised you he’d give it a go, so he does.

He spends the night devouring it, poring over the pages until the sun comes up and even then he doesn’t stop. He reads it on the treadmill at the gym, in the line at the coffee shop, even on the john because he has to find out what happens next.

After he’s finished that one, he finds himself at Barnes and Noble buying the rest of the series, along with a few others.

“It’s like a gateway drug.” He tells you over on the phone that night as he lies on his couch, book open on his chest. “What have you gotten me into?”

“Something much healthier than killer clowns and men who try to murder their wives in hotel rooms.” You tell him over a crackly line because you’re still deployed out there in buttfuck, nowhere. Tim’s shipping out again in a few days’ time because there’s a shortage of snipers and his services are required.

“Admit it, you were worried about me.” He drawls as he recalls the conversation the two of you had that night. “You think I was starting to fade into the darkness.”

Truthfully you were a little concerned about Tim. His job isn’t like yours, it’s dedicated to killing and it’s something he’s exceptionally good at. His kill count is already well above what it should be for a man of his age and rank. Your country, they’ll just keep using him, utilising him like a tool until he breaks and the thing is Tim will never see it coming, because no one ever does.

That’s what the books are about, a method of escaping the madness, of immersing himself in a world that still has hope because you don’t see much of it out there in Afghanistan, not with a job that deals in death.

“Yea.” You say honestly because Tim is the one person you will never lie to. “You started to get a little quiet there towards the end. I’ve seen it before…”

You trail off then and Tim, he picks up on what you’re not saying. You’ve lost someone, someone in the service. Probably by their own hand. You don’t want to see that happen to him.

“Lucky…” He murmurs into the receiver. “I promise you, you’ll never have to worry about that with me. I’ll get out long before it happens.”

“I hope that’s true.” You say softly and he can tell you don’t believe him. He doesn’t blame you, he’s sure the man before him said the same thing too.

“What are you reading right now?” He asks you changing the subject because he hates the idea of you out there all alone in the desert, feeling sad because of him.

“Cowboy romance.” You reveal and he huffs out a laugh, his palm running over his weary features.

“Is this because I told you I spent summers working on my Uncle’s ranch back in Indiana?” He asks you and he can hear your smile over the phone as he cradles it under his chin.

“Tim, the idea of you walking around in flannel shirts and a tight fitting pair of jeans, it does a little something to a woman.” You tell him and he groans in response to your words because it gets him off knowing that you’re thinking of him when you’re almost half way across the globe.

“I wish you were here right now.” He tells you, his voice turning a little rough as he thinks about that night, his mouth ghosting over your skin, those pretty little sounds you made as he sunk inside of you. It was only once but once was enough to make a man fall in love.

“Me too.” You whisper as you stare up at a starry sky in Afghanistan. “Christ Tim. You have no fucking idea just how much I miss you.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[thebadboyfanclub]

Are You Mad? (Daemon x Reader)

You guys never fail at pumping ideas for this man, although I do ask you guys if you could also send anything for Aegon or Aemond if not you are more that welcome to send Daemon requests. Enjoy

(Y/n) had grown up in the kitchen of the red keep, her mother and father had been cooks for the royal family and with no one to watch her while they worked the only thing they could do was to take her with them.

(Y/n) was a rampageous child, always running and wanting to explore. She had managed to slip out of her mothers grasp and had ran to the gardens, it wasn’t unusual for her to be there however her mother told her countless times that she should be careful, it was a beautiful day and (y/n) decided to plop down on the grass to pick flowers, she was planning to make a flower crown for her mother.

“Who are you?”

(Y/n) turned to see who it was. A little silver hair boy that held a wooden sword stared at her with confusion, (y/n) smiled at him like a kid that got caught doing something naughty, she had never seen another child inside the castle so naturally she thought she could make a friend.

“I am (y/n), want to make flower crowns?”

“That is boring, want to see my dragon?”

“Sure”

The little boy took her by the hand and ran with her to the dragon pit, Daemon had just started taking lessons with his dragon Caraxes and was severely proud of the beast. When (y/n)s mother saw the girl return to the kitchen with the prince holding hands and covered in dirt she almost died, (y/n) did not understand at the time why her mother was so anxious over her new friend, how should she know the little boy was royalty?

(Y/n) and Daemon grew up side by side, as the years passed the two of them became inseparable, Daemon would often get scolded by his father for dismissing his duties to go “bother the servants” since (y/n) had started working as a servant and would spend all her free time with him as well

“(Y/n) is not just a servant, she is my friend”

He would often reply to his father. Truth be told (y/n) was more than a friend to him, she was his sunshine at a gloomy day, always smiling at him, his favourite though was that it did not matter what might have occurred prior one thing he would always look forward to is her sneaking a piece of his favourite cake from the kitchen before it is served, technically he could walk in the kitchen and take the whole cake with him, it was her gesture that made it special.

Her heart would still break when she looked back at the day Daemon announced his betrothal to her.

“So, this is it? You will leave me?”

“I would never leave you my love, this is not my decision”

“Then what? I stay here to watch you marry another woman? How could I have been so foolish, I should have known this would happen”

(Y/n) could not hold her sobs, it felt like Daemon had reached in and pulled her heart out with his bare hands, he was all she knew and now the world crumbled as duty came knocking at their door, the inevitable wedlock that every royal person must obey, a prince at that was even worst and more drastic.

Daemon tried to hug her but she denied him by moving away from his touch, to see her lean away from him was the most brutal thing, he had fought the strongest men and had suffered many injuries still her retreat was the most vile act he had suffered through, he had done everything in his power to keep her happy and now like a domino board it only took one sentence for everything to crumble down.

“I love you (y/n)”

“Love is not enough for us Daemon, someone like you is not supposed to be with someone like… me”

She whimpered with shame. She had noticed the stares they earned when Daemon had spoken to her, she had heard the whispers of shame of how (y/n) had turn to a common whore the prince was toying until he got bored, she had brushed it off with the idea that Daemon was different and he was but their circumstance wasn’t, now it was coming to fruition, it was time to face the music and (y/n) was to be cast aside for a honourable lady wife, she was no princess or had anything in her name, she was not worthy of a prince.

“I must be mad”

Daemon mumbled as he grabbed her by the wrist and made her walk with him, due to her fussing he was forced to grab her and throw her over the shoulder as she hit his back and demanded to be put down. Daemon only let her go when they had reached the dragon pit, (y/n) was confused to say the least as Caraxes approached them, (y/n) had ridden the dragon before with Daemon so she was a very familiar face.

“What are we doing here?”

“I will take you to Dragonstone, you will be safe there. I will wed and then I will come back to you”

“Are you mad?”

“Yes, now stop acting like a stubborn kid and trust me for once”

-

Daemon had kept his promise, it took him three days to come back to Dragonstone to her, (y/n) had ran outside as soon as she saw Caraxes approaching, she collapsed in his arm thanking the Gods that he was back to her. It was not the most ideal of situations but none of them cared, they were safe and together here, at dusk they had wed under the Old Valyrian tradition, it was the happiest day in their life.

(Y/n) and Daemon had something bigger than love, they respected one another, they had recognised their differences and allowed one another to be their true authentic self, they complimented one another and worked together for the sake of their union.

Daemon adored her authenticity, her delicate and sensitive nature was a rare thing to find, her beauty radiated from her bright smile, how could someone not treat a woman like that with the utmost love?

Their coupling was sweet, soft, passionate, they spoke the language of the bodies well as both of them strived to please and show their devotion through it, he admired her naked form as she came undone and (y/n) took care of him as she held him close to her.

It was not long until she was occupying the birth bed with Daemon by her side and the wet nurses working to help her, she had a difficult child birth that had almost costed her life.

“Praise the mother, a girl”

“Is she alright?”

“Healthy as a horse”

(Y/n) bursted in tears from the relief, immediately forgetting the torturous pain she had endured, all it mattered was that her child was healthy. Daemon kissed her forehead repeatedly as (y/n) held their first born daughter, it was only a minute but (y/n) fell in love with the child immediately.

“How about Aurora?”

“I believe it suits her, welcome little Aurora”

(Y/n) had been unfortunate with all her pregnancies, she had managed to birth 3 and had lost two, all three were extremely difficult and the last she was instructed on bed rest for two long months. Daemon had stayed by her side through everything, encouraging her and reminding her how much he loves her, Daemon would have been content with only one but (y/n) had insisted that she wanted to have more children, his children.

It was Aurora, Alyssa and Raemond, Aurora had been a difficult labour making her mother lay on the bed in excruciating pain for two morrows, Alyssa had come earlier than expected and had managed to wrap her umbilical cord around her neck, poor thing came out blue and Raemond was rather easy labour yet his mother had been abed with fever for a week.

(Y/n) did not mind, she took pride in surviving under pressure and slipped past the strangers, the only thing that mattered was their three bundles of joy that filled their lives with laughter and bliss as their little footsteps paddled against the stoned floor, causing chaos and messing with anything they could get their hands on.

Unfortunately life has not always been without difficulty, Viserys had exiled Daemon due to the rebellion and daemon refusing to go to runestone and they had to pack their family and leave as quickly as possible, (y/n) had taken the news with the stiff lip, she did not fret over anything except her children’s safety, she would often wake up at the hour of the owl to make sure her children are sleeping peacefully, she worried something or someone would harm them.

“(Y/n) you will worry yourself sick”

“Daemon you and I both know that your family is not above anything, in their minds we are the only thing that keep you away from your duties”

(Y/n) was right, of course he could not admit that, feeding to her suspicions would cause her to stay awake the whole night or sit outside their children’s room.

Pentos had been a blessing for the little children, to young to be worried over such things and Daemon with (y/n) had done their best to keep their lives as light and carefree as possible, the warm weather and acres of land including the vineyard meant they had space for them to ran along all day.

Unfortunately Daemon often had to leave her side to fight at the Stepstones, (y/n) and the children would pray every night for Daemons safe return, the idea of losing him made her chest ache like a sword had pierced through it, alas she put a smile on her face every morrow and acted like their father was invisible and nothing would ever go wrong.

“I have an idea”

“Oh Gods you and your ideas”

“We cannot keep living like we are criminals my love, I am your lord husband and their father, I must protect my family, I must do right by you”

“You have”

“What? living in exile? Putting your lives at risk? No, tomorrow we flight for Kings landing”

-

(Y/n) had remained a few steps back when they walked in the throne room, with Raemond in her arms and her two daughters tugging at her dress as their father walked towards his brother, a sword was pointed at him to prevent him from approaching further, silence fell within the room and the only thing (y/n) could hear was her heart pounding.

Daemon pointed another word to the king before throwing it to the ground making a massive thud, startling (y/n) from the sudden noise.

“Add it to the chair”

“You wear a crown, do you also call yourself king?”

“Once we smashed the triarchy they named me king of the narrow sea but I know there is one true king, your grace”

Daemon spoke as he went on one knee and took of the crown that was gifted to him, the entire room was filled with whispers from bystanders as (y/n) watched the scene play out. Her husband has always been a mad man still she could not believe she had agreed to this plan.

Viserys approached his brother before pulling him in for a hug and everyone clapped, foolish of them to think that the worst part is over, (y/n) felt like she might suffocate from the anxiety when Viserys fixated his gaze on the children.

“Yours?”

“Aurora, Alyssa and Raemond. I come to you with a request my dear brother. I won this battle for you, I risked my life and toyed with the possibility of leaving my children illegitimate and my true love match exposed to enemies. Annul my wedlock, if not for me then for them so they can be safe if anything were to happen to me”

Daemon knew his brother well, he called on his sensitivity and sense of family to hit where it hurts, to tug on his heart strings and weakened his pride just enough all while stroking his ego as he begged for help in front of everyone. Viserys took another look at the three children, all three had gotten their father silver looks but all three had also earned their mothers eyes, Daemon always joked that it was because they were the purest and kindest and since eyes are the windows of the soul it was only natural that the children inherited their mothers, he loved to look into his children’s eyes and get a glimpse of (y/n).

“Step forward Lady (y/n)”

(Y/n) felt all the eyes on her, although she kept her head high and held her children close only the Gods knew she wished to dig a hole and burry herself in it. As she stood next to Daemon Viserys took in the children, all of them Targaryen featured looking, Viserys heart soften when Alyssa clung to the leg of her father while Raemond buried his head in his mothers neck, Daemon was the only one to pick up the faint curve of his brothers lips, Viserys was always a sucker for family

“I king Viserys Targaryen, with the power invested in me I hereby declare Princess Aurora, princess Alyssa and prince Raemond Targaryen the true born children of prince Daemon Targaryen as he has wed the lady (y/n) with customs of old Valyria the wedlock of lady Rhea Royce is annulled, making her his true lawful wife and should be treated as such”

Requests are open!

@watercolorskyy

[moody-alcoholic]

Chapter 8 - The New Hire

Summary: Simon x Reader, 4.1k words. Johnny finds a new fitting role for you as you focus your time on becoming closer to Simon and opening up to him more. CW: MDNI +18 content, mentions of violence, mentions of fictional terrorist attack, mentions of past domestic abuse, 'intimate' touching, breast play very fluffy more like breast holding if anything, hurt/comfort, PTSD.

Previous - masterlist - next AO3

Simon’s not said anything and you’re just staring at him.

“What did you see?” He asks. You swallow, should you lie. You want to lie. Then its easier right? Then he can’t get mad at you. You prop yourself up on your arm. 

“You were in the pump room with Johnny, You were, telling him to leave Amelia alone. You were beating him.” You say looking down at your hands.

He lets out a long sigh, he doesn’t sound mad just disappointed, upset. You look up at him, his eyes still focused on your face, his expression hard like he’s waiting for you to deliver the worst news ever to him.

“I don’t think any different, I don’t feel any different about you.” You say reaching out to touch his arm. It’s a reassuring touch, he looks down at your fingers brushing his arm. He sighs again looking back up at you reading your face like he needs to see if you’re lying or not. You keep your eyes on him not looking away.

“You’re not the monster you think you are. You’re kind, caring, going out of your way to protect strangers. That’s not something a monster would do. The people you talk to, grab whatever you call it. Those people are the monsters. You probably saved that woman’s life tonight.” You say, you’re almost pleading for him to listen, he moves up in the bed so you’re face to face and kisses you.

It’s not what you were expecting but you let it happen closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around his neck. He pulls you up against him as you sink back down into his arms. You let out a big sigh and breathe him in listening to his heartbeat as you lay there in silence. 

“I love you.” He says after a while. You smile feeling a wave of relief wash over you, he still loves you you haven’t ruined everything. 

“I love you too.” You reply running your hands up his chest. He lets out an audible sigh and kisses the top of your head. 

“Promise me you’ll never do that again, sneak around. I need to know you’re safe and I can’t do that when I don’t know where you are.” He says. 

“I promise.” You say. You mean it this time. You saw what you needed to see. You trust him, you’re not judging him. He’s still here that’s what’s important for a second you thought he was going to bolt or be mad at you. You feel him relax the tension on his grip vanishing as you press your body up against him.

   —————————— 

When you get to work the next morning Johnny is stood next to Kyle looking at something on the computer. Johnny winks at you when he sees Simon following just behind you. You roll your eyes going over to see what they’re looking at. 

“Did you hear about it?” Kyle asks as you see they’re watching a live news report. You read what the bumper is saying. It’s a terrorist attack, happened in France. 

“What happened?” You ask, Simon is behind you watching too. 

“Terrorists blew up one of the tube stations. Rush hour so a lot of people have been killed.” Kyle says, you see the number 50 confirmed dead, more injured. Thats a lot of people it makes your stomach do flips.

“Has Price seen it?” Simon asks. 

“He was on the phone with Laswell ‘bout it till the new fella showed up.” Johnny says. You and Simon both turn to Johnny.

“What new fella?” You ask frowning.

“The guy who’s replacing you now you’re part of the cool kids group.” Johnny says nudging you. You look at Simon but his expression is neutral, he seems more interested in the news cast.

You turn back to look at the news report, the correspondent in Paris is stood in front of the police cordon saying they suspect more bombs have been planted and the French military is working their hardest to find them. Until they do all public transport has been suspended. It makes you swallow hard, a lot of people have been killed more injured. 

“What are you all doing standing around?” Price’s voice comes from the doorway. Everyone turns and looks at Price and the man standing next to him. He looks young, maybe early 20’s, well groomed brown hair and round glasses. He’s handsome, fit, dressed nice.

Price goes round introducing everyone one by one, each time a name is called the person steps forward and raises their hands. Apart from Johnny who shakes the mans hand and wishes him luck which even makes you roll your eyes. You’re not really listening to what John is saying your mind too preoccupied with the terrorist attack news. 

“-You’ll show William around right?” Your head snaps up as you realise John is talking to you. You look round at everyone, feeling awkward. 

“Sure.” You agree smiling at William. 

“Rest of you my office.” John says turning to leave the room. You watch as they leave annoyed you haven’t been invited to join them. Johnny winks at you as he leaves of course he does. 

“Nice to meet you.” William says holding his hand out. You shake it turning round to the computer to close the news stream down. 

“It’s horrible. The attack.” He says looking over your shoulder. You nod moving the chair out for him so he can sit down. 

“Yeah, horrible.” You say as he sits down, you look over at the steps managing to see John’s door close. You show him the computer system the same way John showed you, he knows what he’s doing and after watching him a few times he’s figured it out.

When you’re happy you show him round the rest of the building explaining each room. This time you tell him the storeroom is for the drivers only. You take him up to the second floor trying to sneak a peak in John’s office. 

“We chill out here most of the time.” You say sitting on the sofa. 

“Seems like a good job, why’d you quit?” He asks.

“I didn’t quit, I help with the deliveries now.” You explain, he nods.

“Is it more fun?” He asks. You can’t help but smile.

“Yeah it has it’s moments.” You reply your mind going to Simon, spending time with him. You stand up when you hear the office door open, you’re not sure why and William follows your lead. Simon gets out first heading straight down the stairs while Johnny and Kyle come over to you. You sit back down. 

“She showed you the ropes?” Johnny asks William, who nods.

“You’re with me today lass, Si’s got some work to do for Price.” Johnny says. You hear the storeroom door close. You smile at Johnny getting back up and going to meet him. 

“Catch you later then?” William asks as you walk past him. You turn to see him.

“Sure, if you have any questions just let me know.” You smile, he smiles back and you make your way down the stairs with Johnny. 

“Christ.” Johnny whispers as he hops out the van, he sounds in pain.

“You okay?” You ask before he can close the door. 

“Just me knee lass, plays up now and then.” He closes the van door and you get out too meeting him round the front of the van.

“Right so we’re seeing Amelia, we’ve got to see if he’s been back and get the rest of the payment.” Johnny says as he locks the van. You can see he’s more unsteady on his feet then usual. 

“Amelia, Ryan right the guy you and Simon dealt with yesterday?” You say, you already know what the answer is going to be. 

“Aye, that’s the one.” He says you stop grabbing his arm. He turns looking at you. 

“Johnny I know you saw me in the pump room.” You say letting his arm drop. 

“Don't know what you’re talking about lass.” He huffs turning back to the block of flats.

“I talked to Simon about it.” That makes him stop in his tracks and hang his head you catch up to him and his spins to look at you.

“Look what happens between you and Simon is none of my business. I can see he likes you and you like him. Just don’t hurt him alright?” Johnny says looking in your eyes. It’s the first time you’ve seen him so serious, he’s sent a chill up your spine. 

“I would never.” You scoff, trying not to sound scared. 

“Good, ‘cause he’s a good man and ‘e deserves te be happy.” Johnny says before turning away. You nod follow him all of a sudden feeling guilty. You would never do anything to upset him.

Johnny leads you to the flat in silence. He knocks on the door as you stand behind him feeling like you’ve upset him somehow and you’ve never seen Johnny upset. The door opens and a nervous looking woman peaks her head round.

“Heya lass, I’m Johnny we’re from the delivery service you ordered.” He says, she looks at you in the eyes, she looks tired dark bags under her eyes, swollen cheeks. It’s an all too familiar sight. You smile at her softening your expression as much as you can after your spat with Johnny. 

“Come in.” She says opening the door. You walk in looking round her flat. You can see the tell tale signs. The double locks on the door, the knifes strategically placed in the kitchen. The coffee table with the bat hidden underneath. She’s not even trying to hide it. Johnny follows her as she goes to sit down on the couch. 

“When was the last time you heard from him?” Johnny asks. 

“Yesterday.” She says rubbing her hands together, her eyes find yours again, you smile at her. “He’s not been here today.”

“That’s good.” Johnny says. “We will be back in a week to make sure you’re definitely in the clear. If anything happens you know what to do you have our number right?” Johnny asks Amelia, she nods. You watch her rubbing her hands her hands together, you can tell she’s uncomfortable. 

“We just need to settle the rest of the payment then we’ll be out your hair.” Johnny says, he’s keeping his distance from her. That’s good, this is her space and she has to feel safe in it. She gets up off the sofa and you moves so she can go to her coat fishing out her purse. She stops turning to look at you her hands shaking.

“He would always sort out anything with money. This is the first time I’ve spent my money on something I wanted.” She says, you watch as she opens the purse flicking through the wad of cash. She starts pulling notes out. You don’t know how much she is supposed to be paying so you just watch her letting her count.

Suddenly the purse slips out her hands, coins fly around as it hits the floor. She jumps clutching the notes she already has in her hand. A yelp leaves her mouth. You instantly grab her hands in yours.

“It’s okay.” You rub her hand with your thumb. She looks up at you like she’s waiting for the shouting to come. You smile at her. 

“I’m clumsy too, just this morning I spilled my tea all over the counter.” You say as you watch her relax. You let go of her hands bending down to pick up her purse. You hand it to her letting her take it. You bend down picking up one of the pennies that fell out. 

“Here, see a penny pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck.” You say placing it on her palm. She lets out a little smile.

“I don’t think it works when it’s your own money.” She says, sniffing.

“Who cares, you make the rules now.” You rub her arm, looking at her in her eyes. She smiles and moves over to the sofa. You bend down to start picking the rest of her coins up as you hear her hand money to Johnny. He’s talking gently too her explaining that if he comes back in a week they’ll give her some money back, and deal with him.

You feel like you should be paying attention but you’re not, your heart is racing in your chest. You know what it’s like to be this on edge, scared any noise is him. You turn back to her putting the coins in her hand. 

“Sorry if I missed any.” You say, she nods and thanks you then you take your leave.  

“You did good in there.” Johnny says when you get back to the van.

“I know what it’s like, to feel like a prisoner in your own home.” You say letting out a sigh. You turn to look at Johnny. “Think he’ll ever come back?” 

“They never come back,” he smiles. “We make sure of that.”

Simon is still busy when you get back to work, he must be in the storeroom since you don’t see him any were but all the vans are here. Johnny takes you straight up to John’s office.

John seems on edge, papers spread all over his desk, his usually well kept hair sticking out in all directions. There are prominent bags under his eyes, the TV in the room is turned to 24 hour news and you can hear the caster talking about the attack. Even the way he asks you to sit down as he mutes the TV is odd, like he’s in a rush. 

“How did it go?” He asks as Johnny hands him the envelope with money. He looks inside it for a second before putting it in the safe behind him. 

“I think I’ve got an idea cap.” Johnny says. “I think our star recruit here would make a perfect customer liaison, we talked about it a few months back. Having someone go round and do all the face to face with clients.” John looks confused for a second, thinking hard then he nods like he’s suddenly remembered.

“Not a bad idea actually.” John says looking over at you. “What do you think?” You pause for a second, still processing what Johnny’s implying. 

“What would the job be, I would collect the money?” You ask. 

“It’s more then that, we’ve been thinking about it for a while someone who can liaise with clients, check up on them, gather information. Normally they guys do it after a job is complete but it’s time consuming and they’re not always the best at it.” John says.

“Hey!” Johnny protests, John just looks at him and shrugs. 

“Yeah, I mean it’s something I can do.” You say. John goes to open his mouth but his phone rings. He picks it up looking at the name before standing up.

“I’ll write a contract, we’ll talk more later.” He says as you and Johnny get up to leave. He’s almost pushing you out the room you barely get chance to say thank you. 

“Congrats on the promotion lass.” Johnny says, you nudge him. You’d have to make a list of questions to ask John when you had the chance to speak to him again. You follow Johnny back down to the van.

If the job was anything like what you just did you know you can do it. You know what it’s like to bee in the clients shoes, maybe Johnny was right this was a perfect role for you. It also means you’ll stay away from the ‘other’ side of the job the part Simon wanted you to stay away from, maybe this is a win for everyone.                                                         

 —————————- 

Simon comes back later then normal, it’s almost 8pm when he walks through the door kicking his shoes off. You get up off the sofa going over to him. Wrapping your arms around him and giving him a kiss, he smells of cigarettes. His arms wrap round your waist and you lead him into the kitchen. 

“I made pasta, I left a portion for you if you want me to heat it up?” You say opening the fridge. He kisses your head.

“I got it, you go sit down.” He says taking the bowl out the fridge. You smile going back to your cup of tea and the news. You’ve been obsessed with it since learning about the attack. You hear the microwave as Simon comes over to the sofa his hand squeezing your shoulder. 

“Can we watch something else?” He asks kissing your hair. 

“Yeah,” you say switching to another channel. The microwave beeps and Simon leaves after giving your shoulder a squeeze. You move over so he has room to sit. When he's comfy you cuddle up against him. The TV is showing some kind of game show Simon shouts at half the time, you don’t mind it makes you smile. It’s nice, you feel relaxed for the first time in ages.

When Simon is finished with his food he pulls you up against him as your arm strokes his stomach. You could spend the rest of the night like this then go to bed happy. Sleeping under the duvet with him, relaxing together. You look up at him and decide to bite the bullet. 

“Simon, can we try something?” You say sitting up on the sofa. He turns from the TV to look at you.

“‘Pends on what you’re thinking.” He says his eyes scrunching together. You suck in a lungful of air trying to calm your nerves. You’re rubbing your hands together as you think about how you want to make this work.

“Do you want to, touch me?” You ask. He pauses for a few seconds his lips pressed together while he think’s of a response. 

“What do you mean, like touch your arm? Or something else?” He says turning his body so you’re face to face. You close your eyes taking another big gulp in. 

“I was thinking more. My boobs or something.” You look away blushing, there’s a pit growing in your stomach. Maybe you’re not ready for this. Maybe you never will be but you want to try. You want to feel Simon’s hands on you, giving you pleasure. You can’t do any of that if you still flinch when he so much as brushes a part of your body you keep covered.   

“Do you want to lie down first see how you feel?” Simon asks his voice low, as he rests his hand on yours. You nod and get up to go to the bedroom. You don’t know if laying down will help but maybe it’ll feel more natural. You lay on top of the covers turning your body to the side as Simon lays beside you. You’re nervous your breath hitching in your throat. 

“How about we start slow, you don’t have to take your top off or anything. If you want to stop just say, okay? I won’t be upset or mad. It’s all about you.” Simon says, you can still feel the heat in your cheeks your body tense at the anticipation of being touched. You nod swallowing again to get rid of the lump. His hand comes up to your face, rubbing your cheek.

“You’re okay, you’re in control.” He says before dropping his hand to your chest. You move your body so you’re laying flat on your back so he has better access. He slips one arm under your head you can feel your head resting on his bicep, your body pressed up against him as he lays on his side watching you. Maybe if you were wearing a bra it would be easier, another layer of protection.

You trust Simon, you trust he would never hurt you. His hand works slow, he's gentle as it rests between your breasts, he’s watching your face for a reaction. You try to look calm, like you’re enjoying this. He moves his hand to one of them just resting his hand on top for a few seconds so you can get used to it. His hands are large he can easily squeeze your whole breast in his hand, which he does a second later.

His grip is firm but not rough, you can feel his palm pressing down on your nipple as he gently squeezes. His hands feel good, soft, warm and firm, it’s a feeling you’ve not experienced in a long time, someone being gentle.

Simon looks up at you leaning over to kiss you, it feels good, there’s a tingle between your legs as his tongue caresses yours. You welcome the distraction from Simon’s hand moving to the other side of your chest. His hands still as gentle and slow as he explores it your nipples getting hard with all the kissing. You feel yourself wanting to chase the feeling as he breaks away from the kiss his eyes looking into you.

“Feel good?” You ask, trying not to sound nervous, you don’t want to put him off. You push all your feelings away, the bad thoughts, the images of the last time you were touched. This is new and he’s not going to hurt you. You’re in control.  

“Yeah, perfect.” Simon says gently squeezing. You feel yourself blushing.

“Breathe, you're doing great.” Simon says his voice low as he looks in your eyes. You suck in a deep breath. Then Simon leans in and kisses you softly. It's slow and sensual his tongue playing with yours brushing over it as he moans almost like he’s drinking you up.

You’re barely paying attention as Simon’s hand moves to the hem of your shirt pulling it up just above your belly button. His warm hand rests on your skin. You pull away from the kiss. 

“It's okay, I'm just going to hold my hand here.” He says. You take in a deep breath. You're safe, Simon is not going to hurt you. You nod and let him kiss you again. You try to kiss him back but your mind starts to spiral, visions pop in your head before you can stop them making a lump form in your stomach.

You pull away from Simon turning your head to look away from him. His hand leave your body you feel cold like there’s a chill in the air. Simon pulls your shirt back down you turn to look at him. You feel disappointed, you should have done better. His hand comes to your cheek brushing away a tear you didn’t even know had fallen down your face.

“I’m sorry,” quietly leaves your lips as you look in his eyes. His head tilts to the side and he wraps his other arm around you to pull you over into his arms. You like that feeling his arms around you. He hugs you tight taking deep breaths, you follow him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m so proud of you.” He says into your ear. You close your eyes and lay there in silence in his arms for a few minutes as your heart rate slows.

“How about we find another one of those cheesy romantic films, lay out on the sofa and just relax?” You pull away looking up at him smiling.

“I like action films.” You say.

“Even better.” He says giving you one last quick kiss before getting off the bed. You wait till he’s out the room before you thrust your head in your hands. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why didn’t you just push through it. You turn over on the bed looking at the ceiling. You’re never going to have a normal relationship.

You try not to be mad at yourself instead forcing your body out of bed and into the living room. Simon is in the kitchen filling up the kettle with his back to you. You walk over to him throwing your arms round him. 

“Cuppa?” He asks you hum in response pressing your face up against his back. You can hear his heartbeat. 

“You smell good.” You say smiling. This is good, this is safe. You should be happy you made good progress today, it’s better then nothing. Simon’s phone starts ringing in his pocket and you remove your arms turning away to the sofa.

You turn the TV on and it’s the news still talking about the attack in Paris. The death toll has gone to 75 and they found another bomb a few stations away from where the initial one went off. It makes you feel sick knowing someone could do something so heinous. 

“‘Cause sir.” You hear Simon say looking round to see him, he’s gripping the kitchen table chair. 

“I can be there in 20, does Soap need a pickup?” Simon says. You watch him straighten up and hang up the phone. He walks over to the sofa his hand comes up to your face. 

“Ever been to Paris?”

Next

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[saintsenara]

You mentioned fanon turning barty crouch jr. into an uninteresting character. I don't know much about what the new fanon characterisation has really done with him, but I'm curious for your thoughts on why he's a canonically interesting character. I agree that he is, but it sounds like you might have some interesting thoughts on it that are already fleshed out.

thank you for the ask, @jamesunderwater, and i'm sorry for taking so long to drag myself around to answering this.

as you may have gathered if you’ve read my views on jegulus or wolfstar, the common fanon interpretation of marauders-era characters and i don’t really get on.

this is not a new development - me and goofy fanon sirius have been beefing for over a decade at this point, i fear - but our enmity has taken on a new form since [roughly] 2020, when the emergence of what we might call the modern marauders subfandom brought with it a whole series of expectations about characters, ships, personalities, and appearances in first war stories which - let me state my position immediately - have absolutely nothing to do with the characters as they are in canon.

i could talk about sirius or regulus or james or snape or lupin until the cows come home - as, i’m sure, could many of us - but i also dislike the expectations the marauders subfandom has around its supporting cast. these characters - who largely fall under the categories of women, slytherins, or both - have names that we might recognise from canon, but they are - to all intents and purposes - original characters.

to do some marauders fan defending, i do understand the rationale behind this. hogwarts is a school, and it needs to be filled with the sort of incidental characters that lightning-era writers can pull from the canon text [shoutout to ernie macmillan, the mvp]. if you’re writing about lily, then she needs friends - why not have them be alice, marlene, dorcas, emmeline, pandora etc.?

[well, because dumbledore isn’t running a child army. it makes no sense for the entire order of the phoenix to be in the same school year - and the idea that alice is probably around ten years older than lily, that pandora is around the same age as narcissa malfoy and isn’t a pureblood, and that marlene, dorcas, and emmeline are hard-nosed ministry bitches in their fifties who can have mad-eye moody quaking with just a look is something which can be prised from my cold, dead hands.]

and if you’re writing about the epic highs and lows of high-school football going to school during a sectarian conflict, then you need some antagonists. which is to say, you need some slytherins.

the issue i have is that the three key slytherins who seem to have been elevated to principal cast in the marauders pantheon - regulus black, barty crouch jr., and evan rosier - get what can only be called the smol bean treatment. that is, that three teenagers who all canonically join a terror organisation are turned into soft and tiny babies who thought lord voldemort was just feeling silly when he said, "my aim is the eradication of the muggleborn population through violent means."

and even fics which do acknowledge that the three willingly become terrorists often go out of their way to provide justifications for this which don’t contextualise their decision [something which is important - you can’t write about snape becoming a death eater without acknowledging the way that poverty, loneliness, and a sense of hopelessness make someone an easy target of radicalisation] but which minimise it. sometimes, their violence is turned into romantic vengeance - i’ve seen a fair amount of suggestions that barty goes to torture the longbottoms because frank was the auror who killed evan. sometimes, authors imply - or even outright state - that there’s no need to see these boys as aspiring villains: voldemort is right; the class system is good and should be maintained; and purebloods [usually james, sirius, regulus, barty, evan and maybe a token woman or two] should stick together while the half-breeds and the mudbloods go hang.

this - like all aristocracy wank in this fandom - annoys me enough with regulus and evan. but it’s particularly grating when it comes to barty crouch jr. because - unlike evan, who is literally just a name in the text, and regulus, who isn’t much more - he actually has a canon personality.

and it’s fascinating. indeed, i would even go so far as to say that barty crouch jr. is the greatest villain in the harry potter series.

[my apologies to lord voldemort.]

after all, even though he’s been imprisoned under the imperius curse for over a decade, barty is still so lucid and powerful that he is able to:

produce magic capable of tricking the goblet of fire, which is treated by all the adult characters involved as unprecedented.

pull off a year-long impersonation of a man whom dumbledore evidently knows extremely well without being clocked until his mission has been successful, even though his opportunities to observe the real moody can have been virtually non-existent. he is in character within seconds of his ambush on moody’s home - after the intruder-alert dustbins are set off - and is able to persuade ministry personnel who can be presumed to have met moody personally [including both amos diggory and arthur weasley, who appear to know him not only personally, but well] that he is the real deal. he maintains his performance even under close scrutiny from the teaching colleagues he has to interact with daily at hogwarts, despite the fact that he presumably can’t get a great deal out of the real moody, since he’s having to be kept deliberately weak and docile under the imperius curse.

manipulate multiple people into become accessories to his crimes, without ever being suspected of doing so. with the hindsight of knowing who he is, the first defence against the dark arts lesson in goblet of fire, in which "moody" deliberately distresses neville by using the cruciatus curse directly in front of him, before swooping in to be the person to cheer him up so that he can plant information which will help harry win the triwizard tournament and deliver him to voldemort, is chilling. he just gets unlucky that harry has the biggest martyr complex in human history.

commit murder on hogwarts’ grounds without ever being suspected of wrongdoing.

execute lord voldemort’s plan to kidnap harry and use him in his resurrection ritual flawlessly. the plan itself may be convoluted - but dark lords are allowed to have a flair for the dramatic, as a treat - but, crucially, it works, and barty succeeds in every respect.

but, i concede, we’re talking about the adult barty here. perhaps he was once a sweetheart who went unfortunately off the rails after his father sent him to prison and then - in effect - drugged him for years. that wouldn’t be a ridiculous suggestion.

except for the fact that - canonically - the teen barty was just as clever, sly, manipulative, and - above all - ardent in his support for voldemort as his adult self.

at his trial in the early 1980s, young barty gives the performance of a lifetime. he screams, he shakes, he looks terrified of the dementors, he is pale and weak and harmless-looking, he begs his mother to help him, he pleads with his father for mercy, he maintains his innocence as he's dragged off to his cell. he gives off the impression of simply having been in the wrong place at the wrong time so well that harry is almost certain that his conviction is illegitimate. so too, it is implied, is dumbledore.

indeed, barty plays the part of the wrongfully imprisoned so well that - as canon tells us - he not only influences public opinion to be broadly in favour of his probable innocence [or, at least, his diminished culpability - sirius suggests that the widespread view was that he was probably there, but that he only ended up involved in what was clearly bellatrix’s idea because of his father’s failure to relate to him properly], but also changes public opinion against the government’s anti-death-eater strategy entirely.

following his imprisonment, his father - a man who never met an extrajudicial punishment he didn’t like, and whose ruthless approach to dealing with the death eaters in the first war [such as his use of internment for suspected terrorists and his order to aurors to shoot to kill] was, we are told, enormously popular with the wizarding public - is forced to resign in disgrace from his role as head of the department of magical law enforcement. crouch sr. is quietly shuffled off into a boring bureaucratic position, his ambitions to be minister in tatters, and his only way forward to free his son from the prison cell where he is languishing for the crime he very literally did.

[as an aside, i do think that we are supposed to read bellatrix as the ringleader of the torture of the longbottoms. but, all too often, that gets reduced to her doing everything while rodolphus, rabastan, and barty just stand there gormlessly. they were clearly performing the curses too!]

now, barty’s unusual cunning can - of course - be explained by narrative reasons. the text needs to conceal that he’s the villain [since, as with philosopher’s stone, it wants to imply that the dark lord’s faithful servant at hogwarts is snape] until the very end - and this naturally requires dumbledore to not think too hard about whether his good judy alastor is behaving even more strangely than usual.

the text also needs to suggest that he's innocent in order to properly stick the landing on the narrative role of his father - barty crouch sr. as with dolores umbridge in order of the phoenix, crouch sr. exists to show harry [and the reader] that the rot in the wizarding world was not caused by - and will not stop with the defeat of - voldemort. his ruthlessness and inflexibility, his lack of respect for due process, his astonishingly cruel treatment of winky [brutal beyond even the standard way in which wizards abuse their enslaved elves] all serve to teach harry that the anti-voldemort cause can become just as easily corrupted as the disillusioned young men in voldemort’s orbit. the suggestion that crouch sent his own son to azkaban without good reason, simply because he would not deviate from his beliefs, is an important lesson to harry about what "justice" actually means.

but, despite this, barty is also able to pull off his deception because he’s spectacularly talented. it’s not all just narrative.

and his talents are caused by characteristics which aren’t good or bad in and of themselves. he’s clearly very intelligent [he got twelve owls, the series’ benchmark for genius]. he’s hyper-observant, creative, adaptable, good under pressure, and possessed of nerves of steel. he shares these traits with other villains in the series - voldemort above all - but he also shares them with plenty of the heroes. harry, for one.

which is to say that all of his personality traits could be put to non-criminal uses. but - as with harry, who is capable of being quite sinister when he wants to be [for example, when he manipulates slughorn into giving up the horcrux memory] - they would give a non-criminal barty an edge. and this doesn’t seem to be present in his standard fanon persona - as sweet and goofy as all marauders-era men - to any great extent.

finally, there is another aspect of barty’s character which is absent from his fanon version - that he clearly has some sort of childhood trauma, but that this does not excuse any of what he does.

even though crouch sr. is right to send him to azkaban, he was clearly also a cold and distant father, who had absolutely no idea how to relate to his son.

[as another aside, this emotional negligence is bad enough without it needing to be written as having been accompanied by extreme physical and/or sexual abuse. there seems to be a real tendency in fanfiction - not only in marauders-era stuff, although the exaggeration of orion and walburga black into despotic villains is one example of this - to make childhood misery "worse", in order to justify a character’s later actions.]

voldemort demonstrably uses barty’s terrible relationship with crouch sr. [and his absolutely flagrant daddy kink] to groom him into taking the dark mark [not least because there’s otherwise no explanation for why he cheerfully informs him that he too is named after his dad], which he may very well end up taking when he’s still at school. my reading is that he’s recruited to inform on his father - since voldemort would undoubtedly wish to keep the head of the department of magical law enforcement under constant surveillance - and that this is why the dark lord pays him the attention he is so obviously lacking.

but, as with snape and regulus and draco malfoy and all the other young death eaters, barty also colludes in his own radicalisation. voldemort is a master at ensnaring recruits, sure, but he’s also a busy man. he only bothers to make the effort because the clever, creative, cunning, manipulative young man - who wishes to avenge himself on the father who never paid him attention [sound familiar?] - he finds before him is very much determined to become a spectacular part of his terrorist organisation. and stories which feature him owe it to him to give him that dark complexity of character

show the series’ best villain some respect.

[mooseyspooky]

Songs Moz says he wrote about Johnny:

-Angel, Angel Down We Go Together

Meanwhile, all the songs that I think are actually about Johnny, or in some way referring to him:

-Hand In Glove (1983)

-No, it's not like any other love. This one is different, because it's us.

-So, hand in glove I stake my claim. I'll fight to the last breath. If they dare touch a hair on your head, I'll fight to the last breath. For the good life is out there somewhere. So stay on my arm, you little charmer, but I know my luck too well. Yes, I know my luck too well. And I'll probably never see you again.

-Reel Around The Fountain (1983)

-Fifteen minutes with you. Well, I wouldn't say no. Oh, people said that you were virtually dead, and they were so wrong.

-I dreamt about you last night, and I fell out of bed twice. You can pin and mount me like a butterfly, but, "Take me to the haven of your bed" was something that you never said. Two lumps, please. You're the bee's knees but so am I.

-What Difference Does It Make? (1982)

-All men have secrets and here is mine. So let it be known. For we have been through hell and high tide. I think I can rely on you, and yet you start to recoil. Heavy words are so lightly thrown, but still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you.

-But now you know the truth about me. You won't see me anymore. Well, I'm still fond of you.

-But I'm still fond of you. Oh, my sacred one.

-Miserable Lie (Linder/Johnny) (1982)

-I know I need hardly say how much I love your casual way. Oh, but please put your tongue away. A little higher and we're well away. The dark nights are drawing in, and your humor is as black as them. I look at yours, you laugh at mine, and "love" is just a miserable lie. You have destroyed my flower-like life. Not once - twice. You have corrupt my innocent mind. Not once - twice.

-This Charming Man (1983)

-When in this charming car. This charming man.

-Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

-This man said, "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care."

-These Things Take Time (1982)

-Mine eyes have seen the glory of the sacred wunderkind.

-But I can't believe that you'd ever care, and this is why you will never care.

-I'm spellbound, but a woman divides, and the hills are alive with celibate cries. But you know where you came from, you know where you're going, and you know where you belong. You said I was ill and you were not wrong.

-The alcoholic afternoons when we sat in your room - they meant more to me than any than any living thing on earth. It had more worth than any living thing on earth. Vivid and in your prime. You will leave me behind.

-Handsome Devil (1982)

-You ask me the time, but I sense something more. And I would like to give what I think you're asking for.

-You handsome devil. Oh, you handsome devil. Let me get my hands on your mammary glands, and let me get your head on the conjugal bed.

-I crack the whip, and you skip, but you deserve it. And when we're in your scholarly room, who will swallow whom?

-Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (1984)

-So for once in my life let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the last time.

-I Want The One I Can't Have (1984)

-On the day that your mentality decides to try to catch up with your biology - come 'round. 'Cause I want the one I can't have, and it's driving me mad. It's all over, all over, all over my face.

-And if you ever need self-validation just meet me in the alley by the railway-station. It's all over my face.

-That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore (1984)

-Park the car at the side of the road. You should know time's tide will smother you - and I will too. When you laugh about people who feel so very lonely their only desire is to die - well, I'm afraid it doesn't make me smile.

-It was dark as I drove the point home, and on cold leather seats - well, it suddenly struck me. I just might die with a smile on my face after all.

-Well I Wonder (1983/1984)

-Do you hear me when you sleep? I hoarsely cry.

-Do you see me when we pass? I half-die.

-Please keep me in mind.

-I Know It's Over (1985)

-I know it's over - still I cling. I don't know where else I can go.

-Sad veiled bride, please be happy. Handsome groom, give her room. Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly. Though she needs you more than she loves you.

-I know it's over, and it never really began, but in my heart it was so real. And you even spoke to me, and said: "If you're so funny then why are you on your own tonight? And if you're so clever then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very entertaining then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very good-looking why do you sleep alone tonight?"

-Love is natural and real, but not for you, my love. Not tonight, my love. Love is natural and real, but not for such as you and I, my love.

-Never Had No One Ever (1985)

-Now I'm outside your house - I'm alone. And I'm outside your house. I hate to intrude.

-The Boy with the Thorn in His Side (1985)

-How can they look into my eyes, and still they don't believe me? How can they hear me say those words - still they don't believe me? And if they don't believe me now will they ever believe me?

-How can they see the love in our eyes, and still they don't believe us? And after all this time they don't want to believe us. And if they don't believe us now will they ever believe us?

-There Is a Light That Never Goes Out (1985)

-Driving in your car. I never, never want to go home. Because I haven't got one anymore.

-Driving in your car. Please don't drop me home.

-And if a double-decker bus crashes into us - to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us - to die by your side...well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.

-Take me out tonight. Take me anywhere, I don't care. And in the darkened underpass I thought, "Oh God, my chance has come at last." But then a strange fear gripped me, and I just couldn't ask.

-Stretch Out and Wait (1985)

-All the lies that you make up...what's at the back of your mind? Your face I can see, and it's desperately kind - but what's at the back of your mind?

-Amid concrete and clay, and general decay, nature must still find a way. So ignore all the codes of the day. Let your juvenile impulses sway...God, how sex implores you to let yourself lose yourself.

-Stretch out and wait. Let your puny body lie down. As we lie, you say...stretch out and...

-Shakespeare's Sister (1985)

-But I'm going to meet the one I love. So, please don't stand in my way, because I'm going to meet the one I love.

-I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible.

-Sweet and Tender Hooligan (1986)

-He said that he'd never, never do it again, and of course he won't - not until the next time.

-Would you look into those motherly eyes? I love you for you, my love, you, my love.

-Is It Really So Strange? (1986)

-And I can't help the way I feel. You can kick me, and you can punch me, and you can break my face, but you won't change the way I feel. 'Cause I love you.

-Is it really so strange? I say no, you say yes - and you will change your mind.

-London (1986)

-Smoke lingers 'round your fingers. Train a-heave on to Euston. Do you think you've made the right decision this time?

-You left your girlfriend on the platform with this really ragged notion that you'll return, but she knows that when he goes, he really goes. And do you think you've made the right decision this time?

-Ask (1986)

-So if there's something you'd like to try...Ask me, I won't say no, how could I?

-Because if it's not love then it's the bomb...that will bring us together.

-Nature is a language, can't you read?

-I Started Something I Couldn't Finish (1987)

-The lanes were silent. There was nothing, no one, nothing around for miles. I doused our friendly venture with a hard-faced, three-word gesture.

-I started something, I forced you to a zone - and you were clearly never meant to go. Hair brushed and parted, typical me...I started something, and now I'm not too sure.

-I grabbed you by guilded beams. That's what tradition means. And I doused another venture with a gesture that was absolutely vile.

-Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before (1987)

-Nothing's changed. I still love you, oh, I still love you...only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love.

-Who said I'd lied to her? Who said I'd lied, because I never...

-Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me (1987)

-Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm.

-Last night I felt real arms around me. No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm.

-I Won't Share You (1987)

-I won't share you, no. I won't share you. With the drive and ambition. The zeal I feel, this is my time.

-Life tends to come and go. That's okay...as long as you know.

-I'll see you somewhere. I'll see you sometime, darling.

-I Keep Mine Hidden (1987)

-Hate, love and war force emotions to the fore, but not for me of course, of course. I keep mine hidden.

-But it's so easy for you...because you let yours flail into public view.

-The lies are so easy for you, because you let yours slide into public view.

-Alsatian Cousin (1987)

-Were you and he lovers? And would you say so if you were?

-A note upon his desk. "P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!" Leather elbows on a tweed coat -is that the best you can do? So came his reply: "But on the desk is where I want you."

-Angel, Angel Down We Go Together (1987)

-Note: I personally believe that this song is Johnny speaking to Morrissey shortly after the breakup.

-Angel, angel. Don't take your life tonight. I know they take, and that they take in turn. And they give you nothing real for yourself in return, but when they've used you and they've broken you, and wasted all your money, and cast your shell aside - and when they've bought you and they've sold you, and they've billed you for the pleasure, and they've made your parents cry. I will be here, oh, believe me. I will be here, believe me. Angel, don't take your life. Some people have got no pride. They do not understand the urgency of life. But I love you more than life.

-Late Night, Maudlin Street (1987)

-Note: In a similar vein, I think this is Morrissey's side of the conversation from Angel, Angel Down We Go Together. It is the very next song on the album (Viva Hate). This song is a mix of movie quotes, description of movie scenes, and (more or less) spoken word pieces. Those spoken word pieces I think are Moz' response to Johnny in Angel, Angel. 'Don't take your life, tonight.' 'I took strange pills, but I never meant to hurt you,' ect.

-Love at first sight. May sound trite, but it's true, you know. I could list the details of everything you ever wore, or said, or how you stood that day.

-Truly I do love you. Oh, truly I do love you.

-When I sleep with that picture of you framed beside my bed...Oh, it's childish and it's silly, but I think it's you in my room by the bed. Yes, I told you it was silly, and I know I took strange pills, but I never meant to hurt you. Oh, truly I love you.

-The last bus I missed to Maudlin Street. So, he drove me home in the van, complaining, "Women only like me for my mind..."

-And so we crept through the park. No, I cannot steal a pair of jeans off a clothesline for you...but you without clothes. Oh, I could not keep a straight face. Me, without clothes? Well, a nation turns its back and gags.

-Oh, truly I do love you...wherever you are.

-Suedehead (1987)

-Why do you come here? And why, why do you hang around? I'm so sorry...Why do you come here when you know it makes things hard for me? ...Why do you telephone? And why send me silly notes? I'm so sorry.

-You had to sneak into my room just to read my diary. "It was just to see, just to see." All the things you knew I'd written about you. Oh, so many illustrations. But I'm so very sickened. I am so sickened now...Oh, it was a good lay, good lay.

-Break Up the Family (1987)

-The strange logic in your clumsiest line - it stayed emblazoned on my mind. You say, break up the family, and let's begin to live our lives.

-Yes, you found love, but you weren't at peace with your life. Home late, full of hate. Despise the ties that bind.

-I Don't Mind If You Forget Me (1987)

-I don't mind - I don't mind if you forget me.

-So now you send me your hardened 'regards' when once you'd send me 'Love.' Sincerely I must tell you your mild 'best wishes' - they make me suspicious.

-The pressure to change, to move on was strange, and very strong. So this is why I tell you - I really do understand. Bye bye.

-Rejection is one thing, but rejection from a fool is cruel.

-I Know Very Well How I Got My Name (1987)

-A child in a curious phase. A man with sullen ways. I know very well how I got my name. You think you were my first love. You think you were my first love, but you're wrong. You were the only one. Who's come and gone.

-Treat Me Like a Human Being (1987)

-It's hard, but try...for once, just for once...Leave all your hate behind you. It's still all so strange and obscene for you to look and see one who is real and who feels life.

-Three words could change my life. So once, just for once...let the night pass with ease, son. Treat me like a human being. I'd like to know how this feels.

-Three words could change my life, yet you treat me like you never care.

-Happy Lovers at Last United (1988)

-Happy lovers, back together, and I do feel proud. Happy lovers, reunited, and I do feel proud now. I'm not the type to boast as you know, though it was me who brought them back together. He is so kind, and she is so clever, but they don't want me now, hanging around.

-I rang to her to explain of how he really wants to see you again. I said more or less the same thing to him too, which wasn't true. And now they walk, hand in hand, all is planned, by the silent glance I believe, that only lovers share. And I'm proud to have done something good for once. And she is so kind, and he's so clever, but they don't need me now, hanging around.

-Will Never Marry (1988)

-For whether you stay, or you stray, an inbuilt guilt that catches up with you - and as it comes around to your place at 5 a.m., wakes you up, and it laughs in your face.

-He Knows I'd Love to See Him (1989)

-He knows, he knows, or...I think he does. 'Cause when I lived in the arse of the world...he knows, he knows. He knows I'd love to see him happy, or as close as is allowed.

-Oh, my name still conjures up deadly deeds, and a bad taste in the mouth.

-He doesn't know...

-Yes, I Am Blind (1989)

-Love's young dream. I'm the one who shocked you. I'm the one who stopped you, 'cause in my sorry way I love you.

-Love's young dream...aren't you sorry for what you've done? Well, you're not the only one, and in my sorry way I love you.

-Yes, I am blind, but I do see evil people prosper over the likes of you and me always.

-Oh Phoney (1989)

-May this lovely letter reach its destination...if only. Question one is why do you pretend that you like me? Oh Phoney. See how the outside contradicts what's inside.

-Who can make Hitler seem like a bus conductor? You do, oh Phoney you do. You sing a lovely song to a scale, and the words spell out my name. Oh Phoney. But then you kick me down below, 'cause you know it won't show. How could you?

-King Leer (Linder?/Johnny) (1990)

-Your boyfriend, he went down on one knee...Well, could it be he's only got one knee?

-Your boyfriend, he has the gift of the gab, or, could it be...the gift of the grab?

-Your boyfriend, he has displayed to me more than just a real hint of cruelty.

-Found Found Found (Peter Hogg?/Johnny) (1990)

-Found, found, found...someone who's worth it in this murkiness. Someone who's never seeming to be scheming...(Oh, but if I'd never found)...I do believe that the more you give your love, and I do believe that the more you give your trust...the more you're bound to lose. (Oh, but if I'd never found)...Somebody who wants to be who wants to be with me...all the time.

-The Loop (1990)

-I just want to say I haven't been away. I'm still right here, where I always was. So one day, if you're bored by all means call. Because you can do...but only if you want to. I just want to say I haven't been away. I am still right here, where I always was. So one day, when you're bored by all means call. Because you can do...but you might not get through.

-My Love Life (1991)

-Come on to my house. Come on and do something new. I know you love one person so why can't you love two? (Note: Moz once changed this line to "I know you love one person, but why don't you love two?")

-Give a little something...give a little something to my love life.

-I know you love one person so why don't you love two, love? Love two (Note: Moz once changed this line to "I know you love one person, but why can't you love two?")

-Seasick, Yet Still Docked (1992)

-Wish I knew the way to reach the one I love. There is no way. Wish I had the charm to attract the one I love, but you see, I've got no charm.

-Tonight I've consumed much more than I can hold. Oh, this is very clear to you. And you can tell I have never really loved. You can tell by the way I sleep all day, and all of my life no one gave me anything...My love is as sharp as a needle in your eye. You must be such a fool to pass me by.

-I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday (1992)

-My love, wherever you are, whatever you are - don't lose faith. I know it's gonna happen someday to you. Please wait...

-You say that the day just never arrives, and it's never seemed so far away. Still, I know it's gonna happen someday to you.

-Tomorrow (1992)

-All I ask of you is one thing that you never do - would you put your arms around me? I won't tell anyone. Tomorrow...does it have to come?

-And what must come before. Oh, the pain in my arms. Oh, the pain in my legs. Oh, my shiftless body. Tomorrow. It's surely nearer now. You don't think I'll make it. I never said I wanted to - well, did I?

-All I ask of you is would you tell me that you love me. Tell me, tell me that you love me. Ah, I know you don't mean it.

-I'd Love To (1993)

-Again I lay awake, and I cried because of waste. I'd love to, but only with you...Oh, time is gonna wipe us out. There, I've said it loud and clear so that you will hear. There's no one in view. Just you...and time will never wipe you out. Now I've had enough. I've had more than could be my rightful share of nights I can't bear. How can it be fair? Time must wipe them out. So, again, I lay awake in a trance. Oh, I just want my chance, but only with you...that's all...

-Spring-Heeled Jim (1993)

-Spring-heeled Jim lives to love. Now kissing with his mouth full, and his eyes on some other fool. So many women - his head should be spinning. Ah, but no!

-Spring-heeled Jim slurs the words: "There's no need to be so knowing. Take life at five times your average speed, like I do."

-Billy Budd (1993)

-Say, Billy Budd. So you think that you should? Everyone's laughing! Since I took up with you. Things have been bad. Yeah, but now it's twelve years on. Now it's twelve years on. Yes, and I took up with you.

-Yes, and it's all because of us. Oh, and what was in our eyes...I said, Billy Budd I would happily lose both of my legs...I would lose both of my legs if it meant you could be free.

-Hold On to Your Friends (1993)

-A bond of trust has been abused. Something of value may be lost. Give up your job. Squander your cash - be rash. Just hold on to your friends. There are more than enough to fight and oppose. Why waste good time fighting the people you like? Who will fall defending your name?

-But now you only call me when you're feeling depressed. When you feel happy I'm so far from your mind. My patience is stretched. My loyalty vexed.

-Be mad, be rash. Smoke and explode. Sell all of your clothes. Just bear in mind: Oh, there just might come a time when you need some friends.

-Speedway (1993) (Johnny/Issues with the NME)

-And when you slam down the hammer can you see it in your heart? All of the rumors...keeping me grounded. I never said, I never said that they were completely unfounded.

-So when you slam down the hammer can you see it in your heart? Can you delve so low? And when you're standing on my fingers can you see it in your heart? And when you try to break my spirit it won't work, because there's nothing left to break...anymore.

-You won't sleep until the earth that wants me finally has me. Oh you've done it now. You won't rest. Until the hearse that becomes me finally takes me...And you won't smile until my loving mouth is shut good and proper. Forever.

-And all those lies, written lies, twisted lies. Well, they weren't lies. They weren't lies...I never said...I could have mentioned your name. I could have dragged you in. Guilt by implication. By association. I've always been true to you in my own strange way. I've always been true to you in my own sick way. I'll always stay true to you.

-You Must Please Remember (1994)

-A small boy, big ideas. You must please remember. A long road, with no turn-off. Oh, you must remember. Caught in your headlights like a frightened animal. You must remember. Someone cries twice nightly. Of course, I do remember. Someone cries, and you think quite rightly so, but you refuse to remember.

-Low-lights and long nights. I try hard to not remember. And you - too beautiful. I can't look. I've done so very many stupid things. It's too late.

-Honey, You Know Where To Find Me (1994)

-Honey, I'm not gonna cry for the things that never occurred. So do not remind me. Happy to be as I was in the first place. Honey you know where to find me...Kicking away from the mundane everyday. The envy is beyond me. I'm not gonna pine for the things that can never be mine. Do not expect me to. I'm happy to be who I was in the first place.

-Whatever Happens I Love You (1994)

-Names, secret names, but never in my favour. But when all is said and done - it's you I love. Cold loving prose. We stole each other's clothes, but when all is said and done - it's you I love. Yes, yes, yes, oh, yes. (Note: Moz often sings this as 'we wore each other's clothes')

-Fights for rights. Everyone's oh so quick with advice, and when they've all said their piece - it's still you I love. Now just like then...yes, yes. No, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

-You Should Have Been Nice to Me (Jake?/Johnny) (1994/1995)

-You could have told me at the right time. You could have introduced me proudly. Never need to have to kiss me. Never need to ever touch me, but you should have been nice to me. It would have been so easy. And on the moments when I was down you could have been there. You could have once just spoke in favor. You'd never need to ever touch me. But you should have been nice to me...It wouldn't cost you money. And on the moments when I fell down - not for you to say, oh, I told you so. You could have waited...

-Trouble Loves Me (1996/1997)

-Trouble loves me. Trouble needs me. Two things more than you do, or would attempt to. So, console me. Otherwise, hold me. Just when it seems like everything's evened out, and the balance seems serene...

-Trouble loves me. Walks beside me. To chide me. Not to guide me. It's still much more than you'll do.

-Go to waste in the wrong arms. Still running 'round. Trouble loves me. Seeks and finds me. To charlatanize me, which is only as it should be. Oh, please fulfill me. Otherwise, kill me.

-Then at midnight I can't get you out of my head. A disenchanted taste...still running 'round.

-Heir Apparent (1996/1997)

-It's all changed. You were there. Departing, starting a trek I had once took. With that "no-one's gonna stop me when I feel this way" look.

-You think it's so easy, I tell you - it isn't. But you may change minds with your winning smile.

-So I tried to make my way back to the station. You were still there, gleaming and leaving. Wide-eyed and awestruck, saying "How can anybody hate me if I love them first off?"

-Heir apparent. You say that you want it, I'm sure that you'll get it. They'll seduce your heart, and then they'll slap your arse.

-The Edges Are No Longer Parallel (1997)

-All of the things you said...so meaningful. They are all so suddenly meaningless. And the looks you gave...so meaningful. They are all so suddenly meaningless.

-My only mistake is I keep hoping...

-I Like You (Jake/Johnny) (2000-2002)

-Something in you caused me to take a new tact with you. You were going through something I had just about scraped through. Why do you think I let you get away with the things you say to me? Could it be I like you? It's so shameful of me - I like you. No one I ever knew or have spoken to resembles you. This is good or bad all depending on my general mood.

-Magistrates who spend their lives hiding their mistakes - they look at you and I, and envy makes them cry. Envy makes them cry. Forces of containment. They shove their fat faces into mine. You and I just smile, because we're thinking the same line.

-You're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why...you're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why...this is why I like you.

-Let Me Kiss You (Jake?/Johnny?) (2000-2002)

-There's a place in the sun for anyone who has the will to chase one. And I think I've found mine...so close your eyes. And think of someone you physically admire, and let me kiss you.

-Say, would you let me cry, on your shoulder. I've heard that you'll will try anything twice. (Note: Moz often sings this as 'you'll try anyone twice')

-But then you open your eyes, and you see someone that you physically despise. But my heart is open. My heart is open to you.

-Friday Mourning (2004)

-For years, I warned you. Through tears, I told you.

-This dawn raid soon put paid to all the things I'd whispered to you at night time. And I will never stand naked in front of you, or if I do, it won't be for a long time. Look once to me, look once to me - then look away. Look once to me, then look away.

-The Never-Played Symphonies (2004)

-I can't see those who tried to love me, or those who felt they understood me. And I can't see those who very patiently put up with me. All I can see are the never-laid, or the never played symphonies.

-You were one, you meant to be one. And you jumped into my face and laughed and kissed me on the cheek. And then were gone forever. Not quite.

-You were one, you knew you were one. And you slid right through my fingers. No, not literally, but metaphorically. And now you're all I see as the light fades.

-I Am Two People (2004)

-I love you. It's murder. I am two people. One you know, but don't like. The other one you don't know, but you don't want to.

-I love you. It's pointless. In my soul if I live or die this life.

-I have two faces. One of which you know. The other one, for your sake, I never would show. It's just because I love you. I cannot bear to be around you, and if only one or the other of us would drop down dead.

-You Have Killed Me (2005)

-Pasolini is me. 'Accattone' you'll be. I entered nothing and nothing entered me 'til you came with the key. And you did your best, but as I live and breathe - you have killed me.

-And there is no point saying this again - there is no point saying this again, but I forgive you, I forgive you. Always I do forgive you.

-Life is a Pigsty (2005)

-And once again I turn to you. Once again, I do. I turn to you.

-Life is a pigsty. And if you don't know this then what do you know? Every second of my life I only live for you. And you can shoot me, and you can throw me off a train. I still maintain...

-I can't reach you. I can't reach you. I can't reach you anymore. Can you please stop time? Can you stop the pain? I feel too cold. And now I feel too warm again. Can you stop this pain? Can you stop this pain? Even now in the final hour of my life I'm falling in love again...again.

-I Just Want to See the Boy Happy (2005)

-I want to see the boy happy with some hope in his pale eyes. Is that too much to ask?

-I want to see the boy happy with his arms around his first love. Is that too much to ask? Before I die I have one final dream. For my own life I don't care anything. And I just want to...I want to see this boy happy. Why is this such a bad thing?

-To Me You Are A Work of Art (Jake?/Johnny?) (2005)

-I see the world. It makes me puke. But then I look at you and know that somewhere there's a someone who can soothe me.

-To me you are a work of art. And I would give you my heart - that's if I had one.

-Black Cloud (2007)

-The one I love is standing near. The one I love is everywhere. I can woo you. I can amuse you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. Black cloud, black cloud. The one I love roosts in the mind. Can snap this spell, or increase hell. I can chase you, and I can catch you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine.

-I play the game of favorites now. I can, I must. I will, I do. I can please you, or I can freeze you out, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. Black cloud, black cloud, black cloud...I can choke myself to please you, and I can sink much lower than usual. But there's nothing I can do to make you mine.

-Sorry Doesn't Help (2007)

-Sorries pour out of you. All wide-eyed simple smiles. Certain to see you through like a QC full of fake humility. You say: "Oh, please forgive..." You say: "Oh, live and let live..." But sorry doesn't help us, and sorry will not save us, and sorry will not bring my teen years back to me any time soon. Forced back, it springs right out. Seasoned, you have no doubts. You lied about the lies that you told - which is the full extent of what being you is all about.

-Sorry will not bring my love into my arms as far as I know...

-Sorry is just a word you find so easy to say...So you say it anyway. Sorry doesn't help us. Sorry won't protect us. Sorry won't undo all the good gone wrong, my love.

-I'm Ok By Myself (2007)

-Now this might surprise you, but I find I'm ok by myself. And I don't need you, or your morality to save me.

-Now this might disturb you, but I find I'm ok by myself, and I don't need you or your benevolence to make sense.

-After all these years I find I'm ok by myself. And I don't need you, or your homespun philosophy. No, no, no, no...This might make you throw up in your bed: I'm ok by myself! And I don't need you, and I never have, I never have.

-Forgive Someone (2010-2014)

-Use a weapon of words, or a fight with your fists. But can you forgive someone? Stand your ground and persist, and be the last one to blink - but can you forgive someone? And if you do...I'll run to you. Betray you? With a word? I would slit my own throat first of all, I will. The black peat of the hills...when I was still ill. See this mess and forgive someone, and then recall if you can...how all this even began.

-Our truth will die with me. Our truth will die with me...Shorts and supports and faulty shower heads. At track and field we dreamt of our beds. In the bleachers you sit with your legs spread, smiling: "Here's one thing you'll never have." Our truth will die with me.

-Home is a Question Mark (written 2003, released 2017)

-I hug the land but nothing more, because I haven't met you. I've wined and I've dined with every bogus music mogul. No sign of you.

-I have been brave. Deep in every shaven cave. None were you.

-If I ever find home...if I get there, would you meet me? Wrap your legs around my face just to greet me.

-My Love, I'd Do Anything for You (possibly?) (2017)

-My love, I'd do anything for you. Society's hell. You need me just like I need you.

-You know me well. My love, I'd do anything for you.

-We all go our own ways, separately in the same direction, and here am I every night of my life always missing someone. I'd like to be rotted out just before I become aware of the pain. The more I wish in my heart for someone less likely they come.

-Never Again Will I Be A Twin (2017) (Possibly?)

-Never again will I be a twin. The operation went well, but the patient died. Never again will there be a smile to wipe off my face once it's too much. In a twin-like realm, in the plastic arts of falling in love, what a joke that was. What a joke that was.

-Darling, I Hug A Pillow (2020)

-Darling, I hug a pillow in absence of you. Darling, I hug a pillow to replace your face. Loving you is a trauma no one else should face, or sit still for. Why can't you give me some physical love?

-Darling, you will cry for me in the years to come. In the hope of a moment that cannot return...thankfully. Why can't you bring figs all pulpy and moist? Roasted in passion and salty in voice? No longer keeping a secret of your secret place.

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