#you realise what makes this funnier
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WAIT
GUYS
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
THERE'S A NEWSPAPER CLIPPING!
ABSOLOUTE GEMS INCLUDE BUT ARENT LIMITED TO:
"The decadents of the French capital have "touched bottom"..."
They had their female "friends" with them
This party was hosted by "the new aesthetes" of society
Artists, doctors, students, lawyers the fucking works rocked up to this shit
THE CONCERT WAS HOW THEY WOUND UP THE NIGHT!
IN ADDITION TO 100 GUESTS THERE WERE 50 MUSICIANS
(kinda gross) THEY HELD SKULLS AND RECITED HAMLET
"a few cracked jokes on the ribs of death" - my guy this correspondent was L I V I N G
A DISTINGUISHED DOCTOR GAVE A LECTURE ON ANATOMY
THE CONDUCTOR USED A HUMAN FEMUR - P R E S U M A B L Y
A poet was like "yo, I know what this party needs" and proceeded to give an unprompted rendition of his own fucking work as only a poet would
THIS PARTY STARTED AT MIDNIGHT
THEY DIDNT FINISH UNTIL 3AM
SOME WERE LIKE "that shit was awesome, I fucking loved Tom's addition of that femur, was great. 10/10. Would love to do again"
OTHER WERE LIKE "I mean yeah, it was whatever, my circle is a bit too cool for this. Tom was great though. 4/10. Might consider again"
ALL WERE LIKE "we fucking did it boys, and nobody did it like us"
NOR WOULD THEY EVER!
And to top it off the reporter is mostly mad that nobody thought to scare the rest of the party with a prank of some sort but like
Like
Guys
What in the ACTUAL Fu-
I'm so mad I wasn't there
"you should've been at the club" YOU should've been at the club. in the catacombs. on april 2nd 1897.
#everyone needs to see my post#pls#idk how to get this out to the girlies#boost#fucking 1897 was lit#somebody please#fuck christmas#you realise what makes this funnier#THIS HAPPENED ON APRIL 2ND#THE LITERAL DAY AFTER APRIL FOOLS#i have a kind of brainrot#also#i may or may not have made a playlist#because of said brainrot#pls anyone reading this reblog because i need everyone to know this was fucking R E P O R T E D
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"Alright and then my last question on the celebration because we are huge fans of this—maybe the greatest establishment of all time—how was the party at E11even?" "From what we remember? Yeah. You know, that whole week was crazy."
Empty Netters | 8.26.24 (x)
"The next day—" "Still haven't slept?" "Still have not slept. That night I probably got an hour of sleep. Maybe 2 hours. The next night was the boys night in Miami. So we have dinner at Catch—which is... what a great spot down in Miami Beach! And then we go to E11even. And E11even put on one of the greatest parties I'll ever go! I don't know if I'll ever go to a better party!" "Big Dog's there? Pitbull?" "I can't remember! But it was—I remember. It was incredible! Like it wasn't even like guys were going crazy. We've been drinking for 3 days straight so you're already in the pocket! You're just enjoying all the fans and like the night that they put on for us was like—it was incredible! We own the place basically! It was so fun! A night I'll remember forever!"
Cam & Strick Podcast | 8.27.24 (x)
and just for prosperity sakes monty and swaggy had public signings at hollywood collectibles on the 29th and even 2 days after the event™ they could not remember jack shit about it (x)(x)
so in conclusion: "so about e11even-" "i dont remember anything about it but it sure was fun ill remember that i dont remember 😃"
#brandon montour#matthew tkachuk#carter verhaeghe#florida panthers#everything about the e11even adventures makes me giggle#you know the shinji “i will enjoy my weekend to the fullest” (unspeakable horrors) “what a good weekend!” meme#that but cats with e11even#the way montys eye shift left to right as he tries to recall anything about that night and very quickly realises he absolutely cannot#the way he blew out of his mouth oh i felt that in my soul#very obsessed with maffhews storytelling voice#“i cant remember :D” he says and immediately retracts that to go no “I remember” obviously like obviously guyssss of course i do#girl who lies to make the story funnier#in which way did she lie welp thats a tossup!#chatty kathy loves gossip! and boy does she love retelling the messy parts of her life!#schrodingers can maffhew actually retell specific details of that night who knows thats the beauty of it#once again im not surprised swaggy remembers nothing as well because wow yeah#would love to see if any of the other cats can even remember anything lmaoooo#very important to archive this guys i promise you
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nandor begging guillermo stab him... with a stake.... twice.... he wants guillermo to top him sooo bad
#wwdits#nandermo#wwdits spoilers#it would be a terrible idea for both of them but god. i cant decide what would be funnier#that one post i already made (they fuck guillermo freaks out and nandor decides they are in Love. basically married.#he does not understand why guillermo keeps avoiding him while he is trying to enjoy being in Love. is he not satisfied?)#or nandor realising he wants to be topped so fucking bad and realising he cant look at guillermo or even be in the same room as guillermo#without getting uncomfortably turned on. entire episode of nandor freaking out until the last scene where he meets laszlo in his workshop an#goes 'if he fucks me do you think his van helsing blood will make his penis act like a stake and vaporise me?'
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rewatching go1 and aziracrow are really living in their own 50 chapter 200k forbidden romance quasi-enemies-to-quasi-lovers playing damsel and knight going on ‘not’-dates like they do not get anything done
#why did they go to eat cake (aziraphale ate cake. crowley was just fucking stare at him what a simp) after going to the ex convent#WHY#WHAT WAS RHE REASON#watching s1 with the context of s2 is a trip#red cant fucking shut up#good omens#ineffable husbands#ineffable divorcees#aziracrow#aziraphale#crowley#as an aromantic i need to study them#insane behaviour#quite literally invented the tropes#its esp funnier when you realised crowley went from literally ignoring aziraphale as an angel to following him around like a disaster puppy#sometimes you saunter vaguely downwards so hard it makes you realise that that one guy was flirting with you#and aziraphale was always whipped like idk about yall but he gives him the same looks in eden as he did before th beginning#theyre so stupid living in a jane austen novel before jane austen was but a distant thought#🐍🥂🪽
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@katkastrofa: *forgets a few OCs when making a list because it’s been a long day, she’s tired and brain farts happen to everyone occasionally*
#I’m sorry. I can excuse liu and afarin bc one only exists in flashbacks and the other has only been drawn twice#but LIEN-HUA?#our precious baby child??#the catalyst behind literally the entire story being the way it is?#fucking criminal#jail. I’m a prison abolitionist but–#lucky for you the judge can very easily be bribed 😁#you may atone for your sins at the altar of delicious smut#I realise this is nonsense for 99.999% of people. however#this is my blog and I can do what I want#I have a personal blog for a reason but if I wanna use this one I’m gonna use this one#sue me#but for the record lien-hua is p’li’s little sister and whether she lives or dies sends the story in two completely opposite directions#and by story I mean entire avatar world since her survival leads up to red lotus korra#okay enough rambling. it’s 7 a.m I should probably try to sleep a little#I sobbed for half the night because I suddenly felt really lonely and unwanted. so now I’m shitposting to cope#:’)#and yes I know that image quality is horrendous but there’s nothing I can do about it#that’s how procreate exported it. what do you want me to do#sure I could just make the whole thing a text post but the picture makes it funnier#okay that’s it I’m done. going to bed now byeeeeee#(who am I kidding I’m not going to bed I’m too emotionally unstable for that)
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I realised that the 10k words that I currently have is likely a much smaller fraction of the hypothetical completed work than I thought it was going to be and I told myself I shouldn't take anything out because it all seems to be fitting together fairly neatly BUT I am def starting to have my doubts about the value of "the scene where the two male characters discuss whether the female character (who is not in this scene) should be breastfeeding the baby that she just had with one of those men (but she's been passing it off as the other one's)" because WTF that sounds AWFUL and I think I only put it in there because I was all YAY I'M JUST GONNA WRITE ABOUT MEDIEVAL QUEENS (KIND OF!!!) and there was that whole Thing in monarchies where you have to get a wetnurse in because breastfeeding reduces fertility and your shitty husband needs AT LEAST another couple of boys what with infant mortality being what it was in them days. And for some reason (probably sleep-deprivation TBQH) I at some point thought that it wouid be a good thing to put into an MCU fic???
#wip tag#now that i type this out it has become both worse AND funnier to me so who knows what i will decide to do with it in the end#i also remembered that this entire adventure into whatever the heck i am actually making now is because i realised that two famous queens#i forget which ones OBVIOUSLY#were famous for pulling off the same feat#which is 1) pop out at least one boy#2) outlive your shitty husband#and 3) your child-king son is now basically your talking puppet and you run a country now you go girl yas queen slay etc etc etc#i think one might have been catherine di medici? and... possibly margaret beaufort? (i know henry wasn't a kid at the time but yk)#POSSIBLY one was Empress Cixi? aka the one non-European more-or-less-queen that I know anything about#but anyway yes the trick here is to have a royal son and then refuse to ever die#elizabeth woodville has to be an Honourary Mention because she COULD have done it as well#had her brother-in-law not realised she was about to do that and kidnapped usurped and then probably-murdered the boy in question#Henry VIII's famous gang of queens all failed to meet at least one of the requirements :(#anyway hello some years ago i started reading books about famous dead queens and now what have i become???#BTW monarchies are a terrible idea#just scrolled up to see wtf i am typing this stuff under oh yeah it's the post about the lactation debate scene oh noooo#gonna... gonna hit post now while i still can#the Sylki AU that got longer and wronger
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I do think it's a little silly when someone says they miss a piece of media... Like,the media is right there(probably) ! Go watch that show again or play that game again, it's (probably) not gone! But then also like. I get it. I suppose the first watch or experience of something is special and like, fandom hype around stuff if it was a popular piece of media is something you wouldn't experience within the show again, but also like,,,, you're mourning something that's not dead (usually) Create fan content! Watch that thing again! Engage with old fanworks! Cause someone will appreciate it, it will also make you happy!
#Having to put the stuff in brackets literally _just_ to account for Unnus Annus#Ugh#Sorry I didn't like that thing when it was still coming out and still don't like it now :thumbsup:#I was gonna make a funny meme post but I think it wouldn't be funny because I can't explain it using simple language#Impermenant media enjoyers be like#“Wow that trip to the beach was good. Shame I can never do that again because that's how the world works”#Or smth like that#It's not even funny I need to think of a funnier situation#My quelms with Unnus Annus are weird and complicated and no ones ever agreed with me about it so it's probabaly just a me thing#And not an actual legit critism of the thing sjsjsjsj#I write about more in a draft I have of a mini essay I was writing about DDLitG's ending that's like. A year old by now#I will finish it! Just permanently busy and when not permanently busy I'm permanently tired#It's like. It's mean! Which is a silly complaint but it ties into like. A trope I hate that I love how DDLitG does!#This kind of critism of attachment to a piece of media often insists on making the viewer feel dumb for liking a thing and I don't like it!#Unnus Annus kind of plays this kind of moral where it's like 'Oh#Unnus Annus plays this kind of trope like 'Oh-all of this is impermanent so don't get attached because you'll only have memories after uwu'#And like. I guess I get what they were going for. But that's just. People were getting sooo upset over being attached to the thing#Like they felt bad about it and just don't think that's a great thing to be perpetrating. I promise you can get attached to media guys.#I promise you you're allowed to like things:3#Also I realised I've been spelling Unus Annus wrong this whole time I apologise#Also not a huge fan of people acting like their in this super secret club for watching an extremely popular piece of media thats deleted#But that's definitely a me thing sjdndnsjs#Okay jeez I started ranting about this on a completely unrelated post sorry#Look forward to the mini essay whenever I finish it lol#Android.txt
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Here's what you missed from the ScreenRant+ interviews with the Fantasy High: Junior Year cast
The reason Gorgug and Zelda broke up was a natural drifting apart. There were no animosity or harsh feelings, but Zac felt it unnatural for them to stay together for such a long time and still be true to the characters
The reason Cassandra's name is found in ancient stones and writings even though Ally was asked to make it up in Sophomore Year is because it wasn't Kristen choosing a name, it was Ally choosing the name that came to Kristen in a holy revelation of remembering a forgotten name
Ayda Aguefort wasn't removed from the season because she was too powerful to have around, but rather that Brennan genuinely felt a natural follow to her arc was to spend time creating a family bond with Arthur
All of the cast are clear with the fact that Senior Year is not being discussed at the current moment and is something that would be far in the future, but all of the cast are also excited to return to Senior Year and Brennan has plans for what he wants to expand on and plot threads in Senior Year. Additionally, Brennan said he left Sandra Lynn and her relationship to Bobby Dawn unresolved because he rather wanted to leave that storyline for a Senior Year.
Ally considers Gertie's action of immediately declaring Kristen as her nemesis after realising Kristen didn't want to be with her forever after kissing her once was Kristen "getting a taste of her own medicine" and finally being on the end of the insane chaos she's been dealing out to NPCs for years.
Emily was the one who came up with Fig taking on Gilear's bad luck/curse and she was inspired to do it by Fabian's delevelling in Sophomore Year.
After being pitched the headcanon that the adventuring party Goldenhoard was talking to in the first freshman year episodes was The Rat Grinders Brennan liked it so much he, on the spot, retconned it into canon
The cast thinks the four dogs joke is even funnier because they know Ally's mom is a dog breeder
#i think these are like the stuff people would know. they also talked about some other things but not like answers like this list#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fhjy#screen rant#brennan lee mulligan#ally beardsley#zac oyama
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no nut november with minho 🍮
you realise eating pudding is his way of controlling himself...
-contains suggestive themes (plz he's pudding boy)
you think minho is great at holding out.
its november and from the very first day of the month, he grumbled about how stupid the whole idea was.
accepting the challenge when you tell him you made a bet with jisung for fun.
both of you being full of pride could not possibly lose to jisung, who you were sure would end up jerking off on the 2nd day of november.
to your surprise, he had faithfully vowed to practice no such actions.
minho, on the other hand seemed to get through his days fine. a little too fine, because even you found it difficult to not drool over your boyfriend.
you know him to the extent that you know how he sticks to challenges.
there is no way he would ever let y'all lose against jisung. just so he could rub it in his friend's face about being the winner.
he does the normal things he does. washing up, sitting with his head on your lap after a long day, eating pudding with you.
lots and lots of pudding.
dozens of them stacked in the lower shelf of the fridge.
its the 26th of november and you have to admit its getting harder and harder. for you atleast.
"min, whatcha doing in the fridge?"
you walk into the kitchen, finding him crouched down. he had been there for longer than five minutes.
"mmhmm" is all you make out with what he's saying.
"huh?" walking over to him in confusion.
"m' eating pudding" he tries to say more clearly. and you peek over the fridge door to see three empty glasses of pudding.
"didn't you just eat pudding like two hours ago?"
and he blinks at you extremely slowly.
still seated on the floor with a glass of pudding in his hand. keeping his eyes locked on yours as he feeds himself another spoonful.
in defiance. like a cat doing something its not supposed to do but would do it anyway to prove that its not listening to you.
"you're an addict. i swear, you're addicted to pudding!"
you laugh. patting his head even though you know the risks of doing that.
"a man needs his pudding to keep going"
minho mumbles while going as far as to tipping his head back to lick the inside of the container clean. it does something to you and you mentally slap yourself.
if he was so good at keeping himself sane, you were sure you could do it too.
"theres caramel on your nose pfft"
the thick sugary substance painting the tip of his nose. theres some more on his chin and...
"minho, you have it on your cheek too!"
it was getting funnier. and he glared at you, clearing his throat.
"i was hungry." he mutters, packing up the other puddings. you notice his eyebrows furrowing in discomfort when he stands up.
typical old man behaviour.
"give me a hug" you whisper, wanting to actually hug him.
maybe being close to him would make your unforgiving sex deprived mind shut off for a while.
"no" closing the fridge and placing his hands on his hips.
"minhooo give me a hug, please?"
standing on your tip toes to peck the tip of his nose. he turns his head away, trying to control his expressions.
you take the chance to catch him off guard, jumping onto him to tackle him into hugging you. he playfully matches your energy until he freezes in your hold.
"ah-"
a small moan escaping his lips. his eyes widening while he bites down onto his bottom lip. stopping any other noise from leaving him.
your mouth dropping open in shock when you feel his hard-on pressing against your thigh.
"did you get a boner-"
"no."
he whispers, masking his surprised expression with faux annoyance. you squint at him with a glimmer of mischief in your eyes.
"were you eating pudding to distract yourself?"
"...no."
placing his hands on your shoulders to lightly push you away. creating some distance between your bodies.
"im not that deprived, trust me" minho mumbles quietly. your lips pursed together.
"what if i say its getting harder for me..." you mutter, moving closer to him. he doesn't stop you.
"really, baby? can't live without my dick for a month?"
you stay silent. looking away from him sadly. you're not embarassed anymore.
because now you know how he copes when he gets horny. pudding!
"...can't live without you either" and you smile. happy that he admits it.
he groans, throwing his head back dramatically. squeezing his eyes closed.
"god, i can't stop imagining you crying my name when i push into you. its haunting me. for fuck's sake"
minho grumbles, groaning when you hug him again. his arms wrapping around you.
"and i can't stop thinking of you pushing my head down into the bed while you fuck me from behind"
you pull your phone out of your pocket hastily when it buzzes nonstop.
"its jisung..."
"what'd he say?"
"he...LOST!"
you shriek. practically jumping onto minho. trusting him entirely. he picks you up with no struggle.
"does that mean..."
"yes. im fucking you. right now."
"but november isn't over!"
"jisung lost. our opponent lost. that means this stupid no nut shit doesn't apply to us anymore" he grumbles. you catch onto him tight when he practically darts to your shared bedroom.
"admit it...you missed it, didn't you"
a huge smile on his face. a glimmer of pure happiness in his eyes. like how he'd look at his favourite pudding.
"have you ever seen me this excited before-"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
pudding boy lino. i watched his whole live and then ate pudding🍮
#minho and his pudding#pls he's just trying#TO FIGHT HIS THOUGHTS#minho no nut november#stray kids no nut november#stray kids smut#skz smut#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#skz drabbles#lee know smut#lee minho smut#lee know imagines#lee minho imagines#lee know pudding#lee know x reader#minho smut#bang chan smut#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids hard hours#skz × reader
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would you do a james fainting fic 🙏🙏
—James doesn’t like you, but he’ll come to your rescue. fem, 1.5k The office is hot.
James dabs at his neck. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Remus rubbing his eye.
“You okay?” he asks.
You look up from the paper on your desk. When you realise he isn’t asking you, you look away, your lips pressing into a tight line. James tries not to show he’s noticed.
“Fine,” Remus mutters. “Fucked off ‘cos of the portal changing again. I hate these long passwords.”
“Are you hot or is it just me?”
You clear your throat. Usually, unless it’s Remus who’s spoken first or James has said something you find ridiculous, you won’t interrupt. “I’m really warm,” you say, “do you think I can open the window?”
“Like you can reach it, shorts. I’ll do it.” James jumps up from his seat. Whether you’re short or not has nothing to do with it. James is taller, and he holds it against you diligently.
He rounds your desks. The sun is worse on his skin than the heat alone. He can’t imagine how awful you must feel to have it on the side of your neck all day; in the half minute he stands there opening the window, the heat makes him queasy.
He tugs the blinds down enough to shield you. It’ll help the entire office, he thinks. Not just you. If you thought he was doing something nice you’d only interrogate his motives until you both turned irate, and that’s the last thing anyone needs today.
James isn’t sure how you and he ended up not liking one another. He’s never met anybody he didn’t like that wasn’t a massive wanker, and you are but you’re not, not really. When you first started he’d actually thought you were cute, and funny, if a little quiet. It didn’t matter because James is used to quiet people. But one thing turned to another, he’d used your mug without washing it, you’d left him off of the department emails for the quarter, then the snipping started. Constant nitpicking and bickering. You make it too easy, and so what if he likes how you look when you’re mad? It doesn’t hurt anybody to put your mug in the stockroom and your lunch on a different shelf. If anything, he’s keeping you vigilant.
You don’t look vigilant. You don’t say anything as James sits back down, even though he hits his knee for the hundredth time on his desk. You usually love it. Sometimes when you’re tired he does it on purpose to give you a reason to keep going till 4:30.
“Are you okay?” James asks finally, eyeing your face. “You look funnier than usual.”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” He should stop being mean. You look like you’re gonna pass out.
Remus peeks over his computer screen. “You don’t look well,” he says.
“I’m fine.” You roll your seat back.
James pushes back at the same time. “Wait a second–”
You’re standing before James can stop you, but he stands up anyways, and he takes your elbow into his hand though he shouldn’t. You give him the most peculiar look, almost like you’re enjoying his touch, just for those two seconds, before your chin dips down and your eyes squeeze closed, and all of you goes slack.
James grabs you at the precipice of a bad fall.
You’re still as a doll in his hands. He leans back with a quick sigh, his arm curling over the small of your back and upward. Your legs aren’t holding your weight, and you begin to slip.
James could keep you up, he doesn’t go to the gym for nothing, but Remus rushes to his aid and pushes your chair back, helping him set you down on the floor. “What do we do?” Remus asks urgently.
James puts his hand behind your head. You’re slack. When he touches your face, your skin is as hot as the heart of a furnace.
“Can you get some water?” he asks Remus.
James is peculiarly calm. He knows you’re just hot, it’s not uncommon for people to faint in high temperatures, and he’s honestly confident in his ability to look after you. It’s very sad to see you unwell, of course, and his heart is beating fast as he takes in your slack mouth.
“Hey, Y/N,” he says, cupping your cheek gently. He gives your face a little shake, reluctant to be rough with you while you’re vulnerable, even if some force would help. “Hey, can you hear me? You’re okay, can you open your eyes?”
Nothing. He leans down a touch to listen for your breath, and it’s fine, if a tad fast.
Remus comes back with a cup of water and Sirius, which is predictable but not super helpful. “Jesus,” Sirius says. “I’ll call an ambulance.”
“She’ll die of embarrassment,” Remus says.
“She’s coming around,” James says, patting your cheek, thrilled when your eyelashes twitch. “I think we should go into the break room, is it empty? We can sit her on the sofa.”
“You don’t think we should do something a bit more drastic?” Sirius asks.
James feels rather defensive of you. Remus is right, you would die of embarrassment if they called an ambulance, and he’s sure you’re fine. You have to be fine. “She just fainted, it’s so hot in here. Go open a window in the break room and we’ll wait for her to come around.”
Sirius glares playfully at being told what to do, but he goes, and Remus kneels down beside James with a cup of water. Someone from the front of the office asks if you’re alright, but James misses what they’re saying as you let out a whine.
All of a sudden, his attention is fully yours.
“Hey,” he murmurs.
Your eyes open slowly, lashes heavy like they’re thick with honey. You take in a deep, deep breath through your nose, and you blink, and you turn into his hand where it’s holding your cheek with all the familiarity of a lover. “James,” you mumble.
His stomach aches. He ignores it. “You okay? Can you look at me properly? I need to make sure you’re fine.”
“I’m fine,” you say, face pressed to his hand.
“Just look at me. Just for a second.”
You pull yourself with clear annoyance from his hand and open your eyes properly. He can pinpoint the moment you realise who he is, how you're touching, and he can’t explain the pang he gets when you rush up and away from his touch. “Oh, fuck,” you mumble, dropping your head, your fingers to your forehead and your thumb covering your eyes.
“Hey, don’t move around so much.” He continues to be soft. You might have realised who it is that’s trying to look after you, and you might not want him to, but he’ll be damned if he lets your bickering stop him from making sure you’re as okay as he’d claimed to everyone else. “Are you okay?”
“Did I…”
“You fainted. Don’t worry, I caught you. Take it easy, okay? Have this.”
He presses the cup of water into your hand.
Somewhere behind him, Remus has moved away, and is seemingly fending off the masses of people coming to offer assistance.
You see them looking at you behind him and cover your face.
James shuffles forward quickly. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not gonna let anyone see you. I’m saving this embarrassment all for myself. Please drink your water.”
“Did everybody see me fall?”
“They saw us engaged in a loving cwtch. It was very romantic.”
You sip your water. In truth, you don’t look much better for passing out, and James can’t get the feeling of your face out of his hand. He wants to touch you again, his fingers hesitating an inch from your knee.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he says. “You don’t control the weather. Do you?”
“Of course I don’t.”
“Then why are you sorry? It was alright. You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? We just want to make sure you’re okay. Sirius wanted to call an ambulance,” —you visibly baulk— “and I told him no, don’t worry. Then all the attention would be on you, and not me for my valiant rescue.”
“Was I heavy?” you ask, your mumbling nearly friendly.
“I can bench press two twenty.”
“That… doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“You’re nothing I couldn’t handle, shortcake. Do you think you can stand up? I’ll take you into the break room. You can lay down on the sofa.”
You make a soft sound James won’t soon forget and put your hand out for his help. He doesn’t have to force you. You don’t have to ask. He helps you stand and keeps an arm behind your back, shielding you from the worried and curious gazes of your coworkers.
You press your cheek to his chest.
Remus looks at you both like you’ve been body-snatched, but it’s too late to wuss out now.
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter blurb#james potter drabble#james potter imagine#james potter fanfic#james potter fanfiction#james potter scenario#james potter oneshot#the marauders#marauders era#marauders
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calling them your boyfriend when you’re married | ot13
[ ☁️] when you call them your husband version
warnings: generally gn!reader, but mention of "wife" and "girlfriend" with minghao
𝜗𝜚 choi seungcheol
just… don’t do this. he would get offended as hell, probably would give you a whole ass silent treatment, being extra pissy and mean, like - HE’S YOUR HUSBAND, HE DIDN’T MARRY YOU FOR YOU TO GO AROUND AND CALL HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND!!! i mean, he kind of gets it that you said it as a joke to tease him, but it doesn’t make it any funnier for cheol, he’s like a lil puppy anytime you call him your husband, so don’t use the b-word around him, please. you’d really have to give him lots and lots of kisses and pouts for him to forgive you.
𝜗𝜚 yoon jeonghan
for some reason turns into a mum, and scolds you? “yah, i’m not your boyfriend anymore, why are you calling me that?” like, jeonghan would give you a whole ass lecture on why he does not want to be called “boyfriend”, and why you should only use the term “husband". he’d be extra petty too, if you asked him to help you with something he’d be like: “oh, so now you need your boyfriend’s help, hm?” and he would not let this go quickly, he’d make your life extra harder that day because he. is. not. your. boyfriend.
𝜗𝜚 joshua hong
takes this very personally because he's the epitome of husband material, and he didn’t marry you to be called “boyfriend” again??? he’d turn his sassy shua mode on, and become a whole ass drama queen because he does not want to be called the b-word - he’s literally right there, in his husband glory, ring on his ring finger with your wedding date engraved underneath, so why is he being called “boyfriend”, hm? so don’t expect shua to be all lovey dovey for the day, he’ll need some pampering to forgive you for the outrageous act of calling him your boyfriend.
𝜗𝜚 wen junhui
pookie is sad, don’t calm him “boyfriend”, please? jun wouldn’t be overly emotional over not being called “husband” a few times, it’s not like it would be the end of the world, but at the same time whenever you call him your boyfriend he feels a weak pang in his chest, almost as if his body physically reacts to the lack of “husband”. he would stare at you trying to convey his dear request of: “baby, i’m your husband, remember??? please call me husband???” the word husband coming form you is just very reassuring, and it makes him feel very loved.
𝜗𝜚 kwon soonyoung
so so offended, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BOYFRIEND??? OH YEAH, SO THE RING ON YOUR FINGER IS WHAT??? JUST AN ACCESSORY??? AND THE WEDDING WAS JUST FOR FUN??? does not take the whole “boyfriend” calling lightly, being a husband is very serious for soonyoung AND HE WILL NOT TOLERATE THE B-WORD. Why would you even think of calling him your boyfriend, like we went from “boyfriend” to “fiance” to “husband” for a reason, SO LET’S NOT FORGET HOSHI’S YOUR HUBBY NOW!!!
𝜗𝜚 jeon wonwoo
at first he’s really taken aback because what do you mean “boyfriend”, you always refer to him as your husband ever since you got married (because duh - you’re married). would just kind of stare at you in confusion with question marks above his head, trying to figure out if you were actually talking about him, and why the hell you just called him your boyfriend. didn’t realise until a bit later how hurt ? he felt when he figured you were seriously talking about him, which was so weird because he used to love when you called him your boyfriend in the past, so what changed? (marriage happened you simp, he just adores it when you call him your husband).
𝜗𝜚 lee jihoon
would just roll his eyes, because he’s not the one to fall for your jokes. he knows that there is no way you’d call him anything but your husband if it wasn’t for a prank, so you wouldn’t get a big reaction out of jihoon. would just give you head pats and nod his head saying “whatever you want baby”. BUT, deep inside he’s crying. being your husband is one of woozi's biggest blessings, so hearing the word “boyfriend” when you are in fact married is a bit of a no no.
𝜗𝜚 lee seokmin
don’t call him boyfriend??? don’t break his heart??? why would you do this??? would immediately assume you’re unhappy in your marriage because why is he suddenly reduced to “boyfriend”? seokmin would stare at you with big (and sad) puppy eyes until you wouldn’t have explained why you used the forbidden b-word, because there is no way he would move on from that without hearing a proper explanation (and a proper apology). he just really really loves being your husband and being called “husband” - there’s just something magical about it, he loves hearing that word from you.
𝜗𝜚 kim mingyu
at first he wouldn’t pay much attention, because he’s not “boyfriend” anymore - he’s “husband” *cue in a proud mingoo smile*, so he thinks you’re talking about someone else? but then… WHO ARE YOU CALLING BOYFRIEND??? turns into a sulky and whiny mess, because “babyyyy, i’m your husband remember?” would follow you around and just whine, oh my god, it’d be so annoying you’d immediately regret calling him anything except “my dearest, loveliest, most precious husband” because how can a grown man sulk like that? over something you said as a joke. he would go on a whole ass rant about your engagement and the wedding to make a point i guess? as if he was trying to remind you that you’re in fact married.
𝜗𝜚 xu minghao
okay, then no more “wife” for you. would make sure to go around and tell everyone about his “girlfriend”, loud enough for you to hear. hao treasures his “husband” status very dearly, so when you suddenly start calling him your boyfriend he’s having none of that, thus will tease you right back, because he knows how you always go low-key crazy over him calling you his wife. your hubby is just so so petty he won’t forget this one quickly, and he’d want you to beg for him to stop, because as much as he wants to tease you back it truly breaks his hear hearing the b-word from you.
𝜗𝜚 boo seungkwan
would throw a tantrum because he’s dramatic like that. he takes his role as your husband very seriously, so you calling him “boyfriend”? not happening. the second seungkwan hears the b-word that he used to love so much (now he hates it because HE’S YOUR HUSBAND) he gives you the silent treatment in the pettiest way possible, which is funny because his clingy nature doesn not allow for him to ignore people, especially not you. and when he sees you struggling with unscrewing the cap from the water bottle he literally has to walk out of the room and lock himself in the bathroom so he wouldn’t walk up to you and help you.
𝜗𝜚 vernon chwe
it’s not that he doesn’t care, because he does, but at the same time he’s fairly fine with anything you call him as long as you put “mine (insert name)” before it. of course he loves it when you refer to him as your husband, but he wouldn’t throw a tantrum just because you called him “boyfriend” once or twice. as i said, as long as you call him “yours” it’s all good (it makes him shy as hell, and him blushing is guaranteed, but it’s such a nice, silent way of saying how much you love him).
𝜗𝜚 lee chan
sad, sad, sad. don’t break his heart like that - “what do you mean boyfriend?” he wouldn’t outwardly mention how sad he got over you calling him your boyfriend instead of husband, but ohmygod it’d be so visible, chan would look like a puppy who was just denied a treat, it’d be so so adorable if not for the heartbreaking pout. there’s just something about you calling him your husband, and hearing those words coming from your mouth that always make him so happy that suddenly hearing “boyfriend” would be so upsetting.
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom @sourkimchi @bbysnw @hoichi02 @aaa-sia @haneulparadx @minvrsev @zozojella @wonootnoot @kimingyuslover @wntrei @honglynights @jihoonsbbygirl @uhdrienne @bloodcanbehot
#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen kpop#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen carat#seventeen reaction#seventeen requests#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#woozi#wen junhui#wonwoo#vernon#svt#seungkwan#dino#svt woozi#mingyu#minghao#hoshi#chwe vernon
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lundy talking about being the youngest on the cats for the past 3 years like hes been a prisoner of war despite being treated like a vet by the new guys coming into camp is certainly some whiplash for him huh?
"i know youre almost—youre not 23" "almost yeah" "happy early birthday then..." "😄"
"so youre ready to pass that younger guy torch to somebody?" "im ready! im ready if somebody wants it!" OH HES SO READY TO NOT BE THE YOUNGEST ANYMORE FREE MY MAN
Training Camp 24 | 9.24.24 (x)
#anton lundell#florida panthers#2425#preseason#i think it gets funnier when you remember he actually has a younger brother#so hes not particularly used to be viewed and treated as the youngest#(as someone who is the youngest i get a little ⁉️ when people younger view me as a mentor im like im... not used to this... what do i do)#being the little rookie for 3 years oh thats rough bud#“youngest player jobs” oh you mean go on fetch quests for everyone? yeah#“oh i guess im not the youngest anymore...” he says that with such mixed feelings#like oh youre going through something huh#the bittersweetness thats realising time is passing you by and everything is changing#our beat is so cute making him smile by going “happy early birthday then” PLEASE
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i have so many thoughts about the tommy song/video and theyre a jumbled mess. i wouldnt call this an analysis this is just. most of my thoughts surrounding the video and what it shows about tommy
one of the things that stuck out to me (outside of how depressing and just like. is this guy okay) is something that ive always respected tommy for because he's always stuck with it and its his like. fervent conviction in people doing things theyre passionate about. thats always been one of the things he talks about all the time!!!
when AI started appearing he was talking about death of creativity, with the internet he's always talking about how the real tragedy is the algorithm killing people's passion by driving them with views and money, and even when he talks about youtube itself, and nowadays standup, its so full of passion.
and i think thats really important because it would be extremely easy for someone like tommy, who's in the process of maturing his online image from a very loud, immature and PASSIONATE persona, to make fun of it. it would be so easy to do like so many other creators and laugh at how "cringe" it was and make a quick cash/attention grab with a funny clip of him laughing at himself. but he never has. well don't get me wrong he's laughed at himself or old videos but it's always just. good natured taking the piss out of himself, it's never this like. mocking your younger self who was so excited to do what they did only because now its "cringe".
not only is he constantly giving that advice to other people (its been years of him replying, to any kid in his chat or donations asking advice on how to be a creator etc, "just go and do it if you love it!!"), he's coherent with how he applies it to himself. he realised he was making cash grab tiktok react vids and hated it so much he just stopped uploading for a while.
i dont know i just think there's something admirable about being able to still be sincere in a time where everything especially online has to be processed through a layer of irony. and its even funnier because he's more sincere THROUGH the irony i mean he's literally going into standup.
letting yourself create something that "means" something is fucking hard especially when half the internet still sees you as a kid who screams around. except the thing is that kid DID make stuff that mattered and that meant something because he was, in his own words, having fun.
i think thats what the format of the video was about too. i mean i think it was pretty clearly not a song thats meant to be streamed, its not purely music, its also a video because tommy is also first and foremost an editor who went to film college. its also not a "comedy" song like he's made some before, because those were all intentionally created to land as many jokes and make a big buzz— which doesnt mean they were bad! im philza is a contemporary lyrical masterpiece. but they had a specific purpose and it was to make people laugh and i think this video was completely like. opposite of what peoples expectations are of tommy. the "wow hes not a child anymore hes being mature🤓" reactions are the most obvious aspect of this (which, like, its been a while, get with the program).
i think the point of this was to make something that genuinely meant something but that was also like. as unpalatable to the algorithm and to the TommyInnit Viewer as possible. even now that he's gone into making quieter, more reflective videos, we've never had the flashing texts and the projector images and just all of that. hes always talking about how he hates the way the "youtube formula" has dictated the course of content and stolen all creativity for youtubers. its not meant to be a YouTube Video tm. its just meant to mean something to someone, and obviously process some sort of personal emotions, and i just think thats. yeah. yeah
i mean he even says so outright. "this needless, self indulgent spiral of self gratification" is pretty damn explicit. its not meant to be funny content its really a cry for help or for just. anything at all really
it was also a lot about perception, yknow the "entertainer" dilemma, "its all attention porn"... theres a layer of this point thats universal, everyone struggles with how they're perceived and i think any "artist" or "entertainer" figure can see themselves in it, but there's also a layer thats completely impermeable to most of us because it touches upon the sheer absurdity of a "youtuber". especially one of tommy's popularity. especially one who blew up so so fast so young. i honestly think its IMPOSSIBLE to process that. its about the ethics of having millions of people's time so readily available to you if you just press the right buttons to make the algorithm happy and then you've got them. im like 75% sure i remember him saying this on stream once, something like "your time is valuable" and if a fan didnt value him as an entertainer they should drop him.
and even here^ thats the saddest "lmao" ive seen in my life SORRY LOL but its really just. yeah im not gonna repeat myself it speaks for itself. perception and internet expectations and all that
one of the other images that stuck out to me was also this:
"yeah i know its too much like bo burnham but it wont be in a year though. in a year it will be like tom simons. just let me figure out what that means, ok?"
a lot of the video is about. influences and inspirations. the bo burnham references are so obvious he's poking at them, but i think he's raising a good point about the creativity that he's constantly praising. its never something that springs up on its own, its all about looking at others work and making it your own and feeding yourself with all those experiences and slowly, surely building your own way of doing things (tommyinnit "minecraft talent show" and "a tribute to dream smp" serial quackity + schlatt impersonator would know all about that) ->
and its daunting! its fucking scary to move away from that! which is also the main vibe i got from the video which, outside of his own issues with how he's perceived online, was the sort of existential dread that comes with actually creating. its one thing to preach you need to be passionate and create, its another to sit down and create something thats BY you. its a part of growing up! and we're literally seeing him do it live (well the bits that he chooses to show obviously)! thats also part of why i think tommy's so relatable to so many people is that he's so like. honest and real about what it's like to grow up, simple as that, and growing into yourself.
"this was everything to me" and using the picture of his younger self... man. theres obviously so much sadness underlying the whole thing but i think the nostalgia and melancholy in mourning being someone who was only inspired/excited by your interests and role models is universal. and obviously for tommy a lot of those influences turned out. well i think it was pretty damn clear who/what he was referring to here. ->
i don't think i need to go too in detail about that, especially cause a lot of the video was clearly a way to process his own personal emotions. especially with those next few images. i just hope he's okay and that god doubles his pain and gives it to mr beast to quote my friend bronzetomatoes. man.
of course he had to end with a funny clip about a hot anime girl and i think that kinda. sums it all up in a way. if that makes sense. at the end of the day its about the fact that he has to use humour to make the thing work when its out in the open, even when he tries not to and to be actually honest, but theres also the fact that hes literally a comedian and creating something "honest" IS through humor. its kindof a double edged sword
right well that was my jumbled mess of psychoanalysing tommyinnit i hope he is alright and all that because well that was. something
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Funny things they do
Title is self-explanatory <3
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
Characters: Aventurine, Robin, Sunday, Feixiao, Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng
CW: Just pure fluff (and attempts at humour) !!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
Aventurine
Treats you like a cat. Says shit like “ooo big yawn” when you yawn 😭😭
Calls you his “lucky charm” (he never loses more than he does when you’re around because you are a waking bad luck magnet)
The MOMENT you leave your phone unattended he starts taking pictures of himself (or of you with your back turned) with it. Often 0.5 selfies of himself from an unflattering angle, winking at the camera and sticking his tongue out. If you left the phone unlocked he’ll also change your lock screen to the selfie. Refuses to admit he took the pictures himself afterwards too, saying things like “must’ve been a ghost 😌”
Robin
Whenever something minor goes wrong, like she drops a coffee cup or something, she immediately responds by reassuring herself. Doesn’t even say “oh no!” or anything just goes straight to saying “it’s okay, it’s okay… 🥺” (she does it for you too but it’s way funnier when she does it for herself. Gopher Wood didn’t gentle parent her or Sunday so she had to do it herself 💀)
Sunday
Often kisses you with his eyes wide open. Like WIDE OPEN. You don’t realise at first because you’re normal and close your eyes when you kiss, but once you do realise, kissing him will never be the same
You very often have a conversation where you’ll be like “oh I like [xyz]” and Sunday will look off in the distance with the most sad haunted expression and go “Robin liked [xyz]…” and it’s not funny for YOU but it’s funny for ME as a viewer looking in bro cannot stop trauma dumping about losing his sister 😭😭😭 (Do NOT accuse me of flanderisation here he only does it to you and nobody else because he only feels comfortable opening up about it to you pleeease I’m a star)
Feixiao
Flexes in front of the mirror for like 5 minutes every day, admiring her own abs (I would too tbh)
Unironically loves minion memes
Millenial/boomercore in general tbh 💀💀💀
DRAGS people by their “scruff” and acts like it’s perfectly normal (mostly does it to Moze and Jiaoqiu, and they’ve gotten so used to it they barely even fight it anymore)
Jing Yuan
Tries giving you puppy dog eyes unironically. Bro you’re like 800 years old pls stop you just look weird and pathetic 😭😭😭
Tries to be cute with you in general an embarrassing amount it’s so funny sir what are you DOING
Blade
His eye actually starts twitching when he gets annoyed. You know it’s not forced because Blade isn’t the type to exaggerate annoyance that way but it just looks so cartoonish it’s funny on him
Dan Heng
Randomly whimpers ??? Mid-conversation ???? (Canon btw have you heard how that man will just go “mm.. ah 😩” and then go on with what he was saying as if he didn’t just whine in ultra 4K hd). You never call him out on it because he’d be soo embarrassed and make a conscious effort to stop
#[rawbin]#[rawbin headcanon]#[by me]#[aventurine]#[robin]#[sunday]#[feixiao]#[jing yuan]#[blade]#[dan heng]#cutie patooties#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine hsr#aventurine star rail#aventurine x reader#hsr aventurine#robin x reader#robin hsr#robin honkai star rail#robin hsr x reader#sunday#sunday hsr#sunday honkai star rail#sunday x reader#Feixiao#feixiao x reader#reader x Feixiao#honkai star rail x reader#hsr#Jing yuan x reader
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Cowboy hat rule, Part 4 (Tyler Owens, Twisters)
A/N: Let’s put it this way, I don’t remember writing this. But it certainly exists so you may have it, I want to rewatch this movie completely legally🏴☠️, but I’m not at home and I can’t. Physically weeping as I type this.
Pairing: Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader.
Summary: In between butting heads with Javi’s team and running a successful YouTube channel based entirely around tornadoes, Tyler Owens is introduced to the most interesting woman he’s seen in a good while - and her sister.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: kind of suggestive (honestly not sure, it’s pretty late and my brain doesn’t work), minor swearing, I’m beginning to forget the movie so forgive me, very limited knowledge of America (I’m English).
Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
I have redone the form for the taglist now that I’m apparently expanding from Criminal Minds
A rodeo, he brought her to a rodeo.
And not just any rodeo, but one in the middle of tornado valley. For the amount of tornadoes this place gets, there are a lot of people here. It makes her nervous.
Thankfully, there are idiots on horses to keep her entertained, and reminiscing about her childhood.
At some point, Tyler leaned over. Pressing his shoulder to hers and ducking his head so she could hear him. His breath just ghosting her ear.
“Not your first rodeo?”
“Not even close.”
Her eyes flicked to his, grinning up at him. He’s certain the sight of her smiling at him is going to be seared in his brain forever.
Especially when she shuffled closer, so that she could be heard. Their thighs pressed together nearly as close as their shoulders. He could smell the faint traces of her perfume, he wishes she’d put some on before they’d left.
“Daddy used to compete in rodeos, up until we were eleven. He had an accident, and mom told him that if he ever did it again it wouldn’t be the bulls he had to worry about.”
He loves her mom, right now she’s the greatest woman in the world. Besides the pretty woman that she created, sat pressed against him.
Her eyes went back to the rodeo, but his didn’t, watching her profile and wondering how he got so.. smitten.
Nudging her with his shoulder, he gave that bright grin - a real, happy grin that people are accustomed to.
“I’m learning all sorts about you Alpine.”
“That you are, and yet you remain an enigma.”
“Aww, you don’t have to go about using all kinds of fancy words, you can just call me pretty.”
They both laughed at that, hushed and slightly giggled. Like a pair of schoolchildren mucking about in assembly and didn’t want to get caught.
Leaning into each other, wondering why everything feels so much funnier when they’re together.
But then she nudged him, telling him to actually tell her something about himself.
“I used to compete too, got stomped in the head a little too much and figured college would do me a little better.” He fidgeted with his watch, fitting it properly to his wrist. “I don’t mean to pry, but since we’re in a sharing mood, what’s up with Kate and Javi?”
She gave a long suffering sigh, and he realised he might’ve just hit a sensitive subject. But before he can tell her not to worry about it, she’s smiling at him.
She’d leant away now, and he doesn’t like it, leaning with her arms on the back of the seats, her legs crossed and no longer against his.
Is it selfish? To want her close again? Because he can be selfish if that’s what it takes.
“He’s always had a thing for her. We used to work together, a group of us. Me and Javi were dating, Kate had her boyfriend, but I knew he loved her. I looked a lot more like her then.. I was a replacement but that was fine because at least I could pretend I was loved.”
Giving Tyler a soft smile, she realised that was probably a little more than he bargained for.
Not knowing that he was currently cycling through all the ways he could murder the guy and shove him into a tornado to make it look like an accident.
He could do it, it’s not hard to shove a dead body into a tornado when you drive into them for a living.
“Maybe he’ll finally get his head out his ass and ask her out. I doubt it though, he’s terrified of rejection.”
Tyler nodded, eyebrows furrowed, and then leant back with her. Arms going around the back of the chairs, fingers dusting her shoulder.
Somehow, even that small touch was enough for her body to become instantly aware of the lingering heat from when they’d been pressed together.
Then he gave her another one of those smiles, and she could’ve melted straight through the plastic.
“If you want, I could run him over and send him up into a tornado. Let God and the weather do their things.”
She laughed - thank God she laughed - and he’s certain that he’s found something more beautiful than any tornado he’d ever chased in his entire life.
And when she calmed down to look at him, smile still playing at those pretty kissable lips, her hands swatted out against his chest.
“Don’t make it sound like you murder people so often, I have to get back in the truck with you.”
“Ahh, don’t worry about that Alpine. You’re too pretty to murder, can’t have the world bereft of that face now can we?”
Before she can answer, a swirl of leaves assault the audience, including them. Leaves that, really, were too violent to have just been caught up in a gust of wind.
Picking one up, she crumpled the leaves and then opened her palm. The way they spread out left her nervous.
“Were you tracking out this way?”
Looking to him nervously, she didn’t like that look on his face. Because they had been, but from the data, even Kate said the one out this way shouldn’t form anything too bad.
Maybe the conditions for the tornado improved, because it definitely seems like something had touched down. By the way the bleachers are rattling.
He didn’t answer either, just looking around at all the people here, calculating the tragedies if something did set down.
But it hadn’t, or else they would’ve gotten—
All at the same time the tornado warnings sounded on their phones, and everyone began to panic, including her.
Snapped out of it by Tyler taking her hand and getting her up. Pulling her through the crowd.
“Come on, we need to find shelter!”
It’s hard to hear over the wind, and when she heard shit start flying off behind them, her blood felt sharp in her veins and she kept up the pace next to him.
Glad he’s got her hand in his or she’s not sure how fast she could run.
“I don’t- I don’t go into tornadoes, I do the data. I don’t go into the fucking things! I’m not you, I’m not used to this.”
He pulled her to a stop just inside a motel parking area, thankfully covered for now. Grabbing her shoulders and looking at her sincerely, realising that she really was scared.
He knew she stayed back, he didn’t know why, but the genuine terror on her face said enough.
“You’ll be alright, I promise. I won’t let you get hurt by this thing. But we need to get to shelter, okay?”
As he started pulling her along, all the noise rushed back to her and made her feel sick. Aware of the crashes and the screams, and the drag of metal on metal as the motel threatened to break apart.
A woman was trying to get her daughter into the car, and she dragged Tyler to a stop.
“No! No, don’t get in your car!! Get out, come here!”
They did, thank God, and joined them in the motel. Shoving past the idiot at the desk who clearly doesn’t know what’s going on.
Everyone talking all over each other about basements or shelters.
She was going a little haywire, and caught onto the crash of a metal gate swinging back and forth. The pool. It’s emptied and the wall would’ve been opened for maintenance.
There’d be an alcove for them to huddle in and hopefully things to hold onto.
Grabbing Tyler’s arm and shouting over everyone else.
“Come on! We haven’t got time to argue, follow me!”
Shouldering open the door, she knew the woman and her child were close behind. As well as the clerk, while Tyler was trying to convince the two idiots that there was actually a tornado.
Helping the woman into the pool, both her and her daughter were sobbing, not that she blamed them. It’s a miracle that she isn’t.
Once the little girl was safely in her mom’s arms, she motioned for them to get to the end of the pool.
Turning around to look for Tyler, she felt his hands on her waist from behind, easing her quickly towards the ladder to get into the pool. Allowing herself a moment to breathe.
Until she caught sight of that couple trying to drive away, getting caught up in the tornado that is way too close for comfort.
Hurrying down, she reached up for Tyler, half wanting him to just jump down, and get to safety as quickly as possible. Pressing a hand to his back to stable him as he dropped down.
Both of them rush over to alcove with the woman and her daughter.
Showing them where to hold, and that she should keep her daughter’s eyes covered from any debris. And not to let go or look around for any reason.
As she started to get a grip on the pipes, she heard a shriek from the motel clerk. He had tried to stand up while Tyler was helping him, and was sent to the shallow end.
Then the idiot tried again and was dragged off into the sky. Her heart was heavy in her throat as she watched Tyler turn and start to crawl back to them. Fighting against the wind.
Holding on tight to the pipes, but leaning out with her hand as far as she could go. Desperately reaching for him.
Especially when a bus or something landed in the pool and started to tip over them. He’d be crushed.
She’s too panicked to really think about anything other than making sure he grabbed her hand. Because she wasn’t losing anyone else - not him.
As soon as his palm connected to hers, she pulled hard, to give him that small bit of leverage he needed right as the bus fell.
He pressed up behind her, keeping both her, and the woman pinned to the pipes, holding on as best he could. They got a little more cover from the bus, thankfully, but the wind was still bad.
With one arm still curled around the pipes, her other reached back to get a handful of his shirt. He was not going anywhere.
Once it was over, all of them soaked and panting, and pretty injured from projectiles, they finally let go.
Of the pipes, anyway. She couldn’t let go of his shirt yet, even as his hands found her waist. Digging in, to help her stand and reassure himself they’re still alive.
Once they’d stood, and stumbled out from around the bus, they walked up to the shallow end to look around.
The town - the rodeo - had been decimated.
And with his hands still comfortably on her waist, she eased the grip on his shirt. Finally turning and wrapping her arms around him. Squeezing as tight as she could to try and now reassure herself.
They’re both alive; they’re both okay.
He hugged her back just as tightly, and she’s not sure if it’s the adrenaline from surviving, but she never wants to be anywhere but his arms ever again.
Want more?! Good!
#tyler owens#twisters#twisters movie#twisters 2024#twisters fanfic#twisters x reader#twisters spoilers#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens fanfiction#twisters fic#tyler owens fic
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may i request how the dps boys would react to realising they have a severe crush on a, preferably shy, reader! tysm <\3
Oh, I've been waiting for dps requests! Sorry for my late replies everybody, I got demotivated again because tumblr deleted a few of my x reader posts (and a few others). But I'll try to not let that happen again if I can even help it
I think Knox would have such a silly time trying to approach you. Because we all know he’s awkward, but determined at best and, well… pushy at worst. I'm trying to go with the version I saw in a play, because thankfully they cut out the party scene which means he’s still delightfully insufferable but not awful. Anyways, he would jump on every occasion to talk to you. And then just. Stand there. He’d try to give you flowers and poems, everything really. But he loses brain cells every time he’s around you. At least you’re both equally stressed about social interactions. He gets a little braver when you give him a smile or any other sign you like him. Not less awkward, but a bit more motivated to go for it. His main problem is that he can't read you well and despite being big on feelings and all, he still has a hard time actually talking to you. Clumsily, he showers you with over the top things, that most would find cringey but you think of as endearing. And if he thinks there's a chance he’ll lose you, he’ll confess right away. I think he is brave and pretty open about feelings. Just stressed out
With Neil, it's not an issue at all that you're shy. He’s more so taken aback by his own strong feelings. Because he wasn't expecting to fall this hard. But give him like five work days to process and he’ll be all in. I feel like he would take his time to confess but he’d make it known that he cares about you. He’d be checking up on you every time he can, bringing you coffee, asking to practice lines together, go to the movies in town. Even before you two start dating you just wake up and half of his sweatshirts are in your drawer (he likes to borrow you his clothes if you’re cold) and your desk is littered with poems he shared with you. He’s a gentle lover, but he knows what he wants and when the time is right Neil has no problem confessing
It's much funnier with Cameron because this boy is in panic mode 24/7. At first he legit thought he was sick because he always felt dizzy and distracted around you. And he’s a traditionalist. Everything has to be perfect when you’re around. Like he beats himself up about every little mistake he made around you. But also makes a point to treat you RIGHT. If you’re shy he might not know how to approach you at first, because he’s not sure if you’re even interested. And how to make you like him. After much teasing (mainly from Charlie, of course) he gets fed up with his friends and decides to make a move. It might not be the most romantic when he does, but it's sweet and genuine
Another one that would take time to confess is Meeks. He’s pretty quick to accept that he’s crushing on you. He’s like, yeah obviously they are amazing, now what do I do with that? He tries to give you things. Small things. Like maybe he could borrow you a book that you’ve wanted to read for a long time of buy you a coffee/tea if you’re out in the town. He doesn't explicitly say that he liked you but it's easy to tell and he’s not one to be shy about it either. So when you guys do get together, you already know his more… romantic side
On the contrary, Charlie takes time to process his feelings. He had crushes before, but real feelings (strong ones at that) aren't the norm for him. Sometimes he catches himself losing his cool around you and it messes with him so bad. He would probably ask Knox for advice. Which is a bad move. But he figures that at least his friend is more familiar with having those sorts of feelings. Nothing much comes of it because I can't imagine Knox giving him any good advice on the subject, but after he was able to talk about liking you, he decides to just go for it. Well, in small steps. Primarily because he’s just not an intense guy, but also because he’s surprisingly mature when it comes to respecting your levels of comfort. Doesn't mean it gets boring though, it's Charlie we’re talking about. Once you get together there's not a one dull moment with him by your side
With Todd, it might be difficult at first. He’s overwhelmed by fis feelings and has a tendency to talk himself out of making any sorts of moves. Why would you like somebody like him? He tells himself he doesn't have a chance, surely. It only confirms his suspicions when you don't take initiative. It's only after he’s been moping around for a few days that Neil approaches him about it and proceeds to give him shit for not doing anything to let you know his feelings. He’s like, bro, so you care about them so much that you’d rather not have them in your life because you want them in your life so much??? Make it make sense. So with Neil's encouragement, he tries to at least talk to you and see where it goes from there. Still shocked when you end up returning his feelings. You’re in his poems now, even if it's not very obvious (he's not as straightforward as Knox, so it's not ‘i love (yn) and I want them to be mine’ kind of deal). This is the only one where I'm sure you might have to make some sort of a move. Todd’s like a spider - he’s more scared than you are and if he could, he would just silently hang out in the corner of the room you’re in. But he gets a little braver after he starts feeling more secure
Lastly, Pitts is not as bad as Todd, but still takes his time. He’s comfortable with liking you and he knows what he likes, but he’s not in any rush to make things official. So any time he has any chance to talk to you, he does and just wants to see how things go from there. He jokes around with you, asks to come study together, tries to be close. He does care, just in a more chill way than some of the other poets would. If you two have been talking for some time, he would have no problem asking you to go out with him, doesn't make you feel pressured or anything. If the others are cool with it he will do his best to have you come to their meetings at night as well. So you do not only get an awesome boyfriend out of it, but also a great friend group
#dps#dps x reader#charlie dalton x reader#knox overstreet x reader#neil perry x reader#todd anderson x reader#gerard pitts x reader#steven meeks x reader#richard cameron x reader
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