#you probably shouldn't be asking strangers on the internet to be your friend

[truewizardfacts]

would you be my friend?

friendship is not so easily earned! you must go on a quest to the highest, most dangerous mountain top and obtain the sacred RUBY from deep within the chasm of the core!! fight the dragon that possesses it and pick up a box of marshmallow supremes on your way out!!!!

[queen-anarchy-666]

Okay so apparently kids these days don't know how to be safe online because their parents are fucking stupid and don't know anything about the internet!!!

So I'm gonna tell you teenagers how to be safe and not get abused because there is no shortage of predators on the internet. I'm gonna go from super basic things you can do to keep yourself safe to more specific instances where a predator may be trying to groom you that you can recognize. Remember though; if you are abused or have been abused it is not your fault. You deserve protection and you deserve respect as a minor, regardless of how you spend your time on the internet. Victim blaming helps nobody but predators, but there are ways you can protect yourself, even though you shouldn't always have to.

Basic tips:

DO NOT SHARE YOUR REAL NAME

DO NOT SHARE YOUR AGE

DO NOT SHARE WHERE YOU LIVE

DO NOT SHARE PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF

DO NOT SHARE PHOTOS OF YOUR HOUSE

IT IS OKAY TO BLOCK WHOEVER YOU WANT, WHENEVER YOU WANT, REGARDLESS OF THE REASON.

Don't sacrifice your safety, comfort, or peace of mind just for someone else's feelings! Especially a stranger! Also, if you think something is off, it probably is. You need to trust your gut. SPEAK UP! Tell a trusted friend, sibling, or adult! I'm sure you've heard the phrase "silence is violence" -- this phrase goes for abuse as well! Unsafe people want you to stay quiet so they can continue to harm you or others. It is not inherently problematic to have friends who are adults, in fact it is healthy and helpful to have friends who are older than you, however we live in a world where you cannot trust many adults, so you need to be cautious of adults you encounter at all times, including ones you know well or are well known by others. It is also not inherently problematic to be asked many of the questions above, but it is important to ask yourself whether or not you want to give that information to the person asking. If not, simply tell them that you do not give out that information and redirect the conversation, or block if you feel uncomfortable.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, DO NOT INSERT YOURSELF INTO ADULT SPACES.

I know it is tempting, especially with the way hormones effect judgement and your emotions, and we all want to be included, but inserting yourself into spaces you know you should not be by lying about your age is incredibly unsafe and leads to horrible situations that aren't always easy to get out of. This includes adult fandom spaces, websites, searching adult topics, NSFW blogs or accounts, and even group chats. Even if your friends invite you to these spaces, it does not mean you should neglect your safety to be accepted. It's okay and encouraged to say no. You will thank yourself when you get older!

More Specific Tips:

YOU SHOULDN'T PUT YOUR MENTAL ILLNESSES OR DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES IN YOUR BIOS ON YOUR ACCOUNTS.

Awareness and solidarity for mental illness and disabilities is very important, however predators are more likely to go after people who may have a more difficult time discerning what is normal and what is not in social situations, especially when speaking to an authority figure like an adult. Do not make yourself a target by listing the ways you struggle with social cues, understanding rules and safety, or communication. It is okay to seek solidarity, but there are predators seeking out disabled and mentally ill youths to abuse.

DO NOT OFFER INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR SCHOOL ON THE INTERNET.

It is dangerous to release information about your whereabouts in any capacity on the internet, especially your school where you are doubly putting your peers and classmates in danger as well. If you come into contact or into the orbit of a predator that is bent on finding you or meeting you, your school is a public place where one may feel brazen enough to pretend they know you. Even if other kids are doing it by posting fight videos or even innocent videos, doesn't mean you should.

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE INSISTS THEY'RE A SAFE PERSON DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE.

People lie on the internet all the time, including in some really bizarre and meaningless ways, but there will always be people who lie to get closer to someone to make them a victim. Just because someone tells you they are against abuse or even if they advocate against it does not mean that they themselves are a safe person. Predators will do anything they can to get you to trust them, and while predators are usually very pushy and want things to go quickly, some will take their time to groom you.

!!!!BIG RED FLAGS!!!!

IF YOU SEE ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOR, RUN! BLOCK AND REPORT PEOPLE WHO DO THESE THINGS FOR YOUR SAFETY! IT'S NEVER WORTH STICKING AROUND THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE!

THEY CONTINUALLY SEND YOU SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL, INCLUDING FANART, FANFIC, AND VIDEOS.

THEY TELL YOU AGE IS JUST A NUMBER, OR LOVE HAS NO AGE.

THEY EXPRESS THE OPINION THAT MINORS CAN CONSENT TO SEXUAL ACTIVITY.

THEY CONSTANTLY MAKE "JOKES" ABOUT MINORS IN A SEXUAL WAY OR ABOUT BEING ATTRACTED TO MINORS.

THEY EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING "LEGAL" AT THE AGE OF 18 OR FIXATE ON AGE OF CONSENT LAWS.

THEY GET ANGRY AT YOU FOR SETTING A BOUNDARY OR IF YOU MENTION TELLING YOUR PARENTS.

THEY ENJOY "LOLI" OR "SHOTA" MATERIAL OR ENTHUSE ABOUT THOSE TYPES OF CHARACTERS.

THEY CALL YOU PET NAMES THAT YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH, EVEN WHEN YOU TELL THEM NOT TO.

THEY ASK YOU HIGHLY PERSONAL QUESTIONS ABOUT SEXUAL ACTIVITY, YOUR PERIODS, OR MASTURBATION.

THEY TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE MATURE FOR YOUR AGE, OR THAT YOU'RE NOT LIKE OTHER KIDS BECAUSE YOU'RE MORE ADULT THAN THEY ARE.

THEY ASK YOU TO SEND PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF DOING SEXUALLY CHARGED THINGS, WHICH INCLUDES DANCING OR STRIPPING, OR SPECIFIC PARTS OF YOUR BODY.

THEY KEEP STEERING THE CONVERSATION IN A SEXUAL DIRECTION. THIS INCLUDES ROLEPLAY!

NONE OF THIS BEHAVIOR IS NORMAL. IT IS NOT NORMAL FOR AN ADULT TO ASK HIGHLY PERVASIVE QUESTIONS OR TO BECOME PUSHY OR ANGRY IF YOU EXPRESS DISCOMFORT. BLOCK AND REPORT THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE, THEY EXHIBIT BEHAVIOR CONSISTENT WITH SEXUAL ABUSE PATTERNS.

Adults and Minors alike please feel free to reblog. It is imperative that young people who don't know these things learn them, because the only thing a predator hates more than a jail cell is a minor who cannot be abused.

[diamondcitydarlin]

I understand it's not even the fifth-most important point in your post, but I really think that going forward, making sure all creators (at least those of Gaiman's calibre) have as little direct access to fans as possible should be industry standard. We've all heard the horror stories about Vic whatshisface at cons and whatnot, but even the folks who aren't certified creeps detract more than they add to the fan experience (witness the five-alarm Drama that breaks out whenever creators make the tiniest ship-adjacent commentary in interviews).

Couldn't agree more. The Neil Gaiman allegations are not a new phenomenon by any means; we know from countless prior exposures that predators use fame and fortune to ensnare victims, especially those that have been predisposed from maybe even an early age to revere and idolize them. And like you say, even if someone in such a position of power/influence has no ulterior, sinister motives for reveling directly in their fan base, there are so many other things that can go awry from crossing those boundaries. (Gaiman himself warned of the legal complications that could arise from people sending him fanfic directly- you'd think that'd be reason enough for him to, yknow, not be constantly on tumblr interacting with the fanbase and tags, but ofc we know why now)

I think there's something to be said about the quick rise of the internet/social media and the consequences of that in fandom spaces, that we're kind of having to catch up and learn from difficult experience how best to set those boundaries between fandom and creators. It's easy to think we should have known better already, but Gaiman had been carefully crafting his persona for decades at that point and always seeming like one of the 'good ones' as so many others were exposed throughout the years. I think in fact that probably strengthened the parasocial bonds as people clung even harder to him as the precious exception to the rule.

And yet, still I'm somewhat left at a loss of what the hard and fast rules should be, and if they should be the same across the board or if there's any room for nuance. I know that crafting a social media presence, even a persona can be important for accruing a marketed interest (and just unavoidable in the world we live in now, for people in related careers) and I don't think creators/famous people showing appreciation and recognition of their fanbases has to be an inherently bad thing. I know that people enjoy having Q&A panels with creators and interviews asking divisive questions about pairings/plot decisions etc in a show has been a thing since TV digest- but of course, getting in a friendly debate with your IRL friend over whether the last interview from the head writer of Friends meant Ross would end up with Rachel or not is very different from online discourse with thousands of angry, opinionated strangers, and maybe that needs to be taken into consideration in future- that is, if the creators in question actually care about their fans and aren't stirring the pot on purpose, which could also be the case. Anyway.

What's also true and I think should be taken into consideration going forward is that people of Neil's wealth and level of fame don't really need to be constantly interacting with fans on social media. I feel the smarter, safer route there for everyone involved is to have an assistant or PR person to handle social media accounts and in Gaiman's case specifically I feel that this is the least his team could do in the way of restorative justice/keeping his fans safe. This time, he really shouldn't have any public social media he runs himself. I'm literally imploring his lawyers, people, whomever has the ability if you happen to be reading this, to just cut him the fuck off from now on. I don't think that's asking too much of anyone involved. (They have for the time being ofc, but I'm calling for a lifetime ban). As that relates to other famous people, I would say we need to just bear it in mind. A little healthy suspicion for someone famous that's just trying to 'hang out with the gang' on a routine, intimate basis because, like, why? To what end, exactly?

And maybe we need to also have some discussions about predator behaviors from celebrities/creators during in-person meetups, how to recognize them and what to do on an individual and fandom-wide level if it happens. Like, I don't personally think it's appropriate or advisable for a famous person to proposition a fan (regardless of age or gender identity) romantically/sexually at their first meeting with this person at a fan meetup (it's a fan meetup not speed dating), I don't think they should be giving fans their number or contact info (even if it's purely intended, it's not appropriate or safe for either party). I don't think creators/famous people should be commenting on their fans' appearances at these meetups even if it's 'positive' ('wow you're so beautiful'- though there's nuance here, like if someone's wearing a cosplay and it's only about that etc, it can be nebulous but I think yall know what I'm talking about). I think all of those things should be regarded by fans as possible red flags and I think creators should have enough of a sense of responsibility over the power dynamic to know better than to cross those boundaries. I also think fans should feel safe and supported when coming forward with stories of behavior like this and I think we have to always be prepared to learn and 'accept' things we wish weren't true about famous people we like but don't know (accept as in accept as true and then get to work on what restorative justice can be realistically achieved for the victims).

But yeah, I'm interested in knowing what others think about this. Has this revelation made you view the famous people you like differently? Do you think there are better, further methods that should be taken to put boundaries between creators and fans? What can we as fandom communities do better to keep each other safe going forward? I'd love if it we could discuss these issues further.

[annab-nana]

For your sleepover!!

You tell Joseph (quinn) that you want to do a stranger things themed Christmas tree in your shared apartment 🥺 I think that would be so cute and he would think it was super corny but he knows how much you love the show so he does it one day you are out with friends or family or whatever🥺

stop it!! this is so cute!!

warnings: not proofread, use of pet names (angel)

note: italics are text messages

❀ masterlist ❀

when will you be home? i miss you

"is that him?" amy asked. she knew the answer as soon as she saw the smile on your lips.

"yeah." you didn't mean for your voice to sound so lovesick, but you couldn't help it. you were in love and you were in it deep for the brown-eyed brit.

your eyes found your phone again as you typed out a reply.

we're driving that way now. shouldn't be more than five minutes

and you told the truth because in three minutes, you were telling amy goodbye and slipping your key into the doorknob.

"joe?" you called out into the dimly lit apartment. "i'm back."

"in here," he returned from what sounded like the living room. as soon as you ditched your coat and slipped out of your shoes, you made your way over.

"so, i got everyone except my dad who i still have to make those brownies for, but other than that, all christmas gifts are done," you shared while placing down the bags that were in your hands. "i'll probably make those tonight if you wan-"

a gasp from your lips cut off the rest of your sentence when you finally looked up. your focus was so set on putting the shopping bags down and mentally mapping out the rest of your night that you didn't even register joseph standing patiently beside a decorated tree that was bare when you left.

"you did not," you stated in disbelief while wandering over to the tree, eyes filled with wonder.

"i did," he responded excitedly, a smile on his face as he watched you take it all in. your eyes bounced from multi-colored lights to the waffle and nail bat ornaments to the open star-shaped demogorgon face tree topper.

"how did you find all this stuff?" you were in awe, complete and utter awe of the stranger things tree before you. you adored the show and to see what he did for you, you'd never felt more loved.

joseph stepped forward to stand beside you and look at the tree as well. "you would be surprised how much stranger things stuff you can find on the internet. most of it came from etsy and other small online shops. the hard part was doing it all without your knowledge." his eyes fell back to you and he swore your eyes looked more wet than they did a second ago. "do you like it?"

he watched you turn to him before your arms wrapped around him tightly. "joe, i love it.”

“well, baby, i’m glad. i was a little worried you’d be mad i did it without you but i wanted it to be a surprise.”

you pulled back to look at him. “i’m not mad at all. i love it. i love you.”

he visibly softened before bringing his hand to the back of your head and pulling you to him to press his lips to your forehead.

“i love you too angel.”

remember to support writers & reblog :)

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tag list: @fiction-is-life

[sorensolsikke]

this thought has been lingering in my mind for a while, but. identity (in this context: identity=who is a person for real!!) is just such a wild thing that one shouldn't care about anyone else's than their own and their close loved ones'. it's just far too complex for you to try to understand everyone's. if you see someone on the streets or on the internet, or even if a stranger shows or explains it to you, and you ask questions and make an attempt to get some insight, you still don't have to understand.

and i know it well that this may be a hard lesson for many. it's not easy to let go of something that doesn't make sense to you, especially in a topic you care about. i am sure that everyone who doesn't "agree to a certain identity" have their reasons for feeling this way, and they are not just barely a bad person (that might happen too, but it's nearly always a lot more complicated than that.)

i know that other people can be really confusing. i got to know my very best friend in my whole life as a masc trans boy, but soon after they admitted that they are probably genderfluid, and now they are mostly feminine representing. my girlfriend says that they are "very gay", but they would definitely date me and would be attracted to me regardless of what's in my pants, and they also feel very happy when people assume they are a guy.

it makes sense to me, because i know them deeply and we discuss stuff over time, but it's almost too confusing for you to even read it through, i suggest.

and that's completely okay.

you have nothing to do with who i am, and who are my friends and loved ones.

people often identify with contradictory terms, because we have to admit, humans are complex and paradoxical. it's nice of you if you listen, make some research and learn terms and facts, but people cannot be fit in boxes, only if you cut off pretty big parts of who they really are.

nobody owns you their identity. if they are talking about it to you, choose either to listen to them or to not, and then move on with your life, bothering with noone but yourself and the people who you are responsible for.

btw i wrote this down while keeping physical alterhumans in mind. guys, if you read this: even after researching a lot, i have no idea about what ya'll feeling, but hey. you are all so cool. i hope you will have a nice day. i hope everyone has a nice day.

[cagenewman]

MERROCK TASK #20 SOCIAL MEDIA

at what age did your character start using social media? Growing up, Cage wasn't super into social media. If anything, he got it to stay in touch with family and friends after high school when he hit the road.

did their parents monitor their use, if they were young? No. He doubts that his dad even checked his social media, unless one of his siblings ratted him out.

has your character ever had fake identities or accounts online? Nope, thought never crossed his mind.

no shame: do they remember myspace? did they use it? He remembers MySpace, but he didn't really use it. He had an account and set it up and sometimes he'd check in, but... to use it? Not regularly, no.

who would be in their top eight today? Cordelia, Colton, Kellan, Elliot, Ashley, Lucie, Elise, Chase.

what social media platforms do they use today? Instagram and Facebook.

do they have public profiles, or go private? Private. Cage shares a lot of photos of his kids and doesn't want to put their faces out there a lot to strangers, especially Rosalyn, and wanting to be careful with her having a scumbag bio dad out there somewhere.

how about their following? are they pretty lowkey, or do they have a decent following? Despite the private accounts, he has a decent amount of followers, just because he's the kind of guy who knows everyone, and everyone knows him.

do they tend to pick obvious usernames, ones with sentimental value, funny things? how do they decide? It's literally always just 'cagenewman' across all the platforms that he uses. One, it's easy to find him, and two, it's easy for him to remember.

profile pictures: the same across all platforms? Yes, and it very rarely ends up getting changed.

and just what profile pictures do they use? Sometimes a selfie, sometimes a photo with his wife and kids. Right now, it's a shot of Cage and Cordelia in Kennebunkport after they got married.

what kind of bio writer are they? silly, cute, sweet, or just basic? Dumb, normally, something like. "Wood-worker, dad, part-time moose." He always sounds like a father would sound writing a bio on social media.

how much time per day would you say that your character spends on social media? Not a whole lot of time, he'll browse casually in the morning, during a lunch break, probably at night on and off.

is there one platform that they visit more than others? Instagram.

if they have kids, do they use social media? how do they feel about that? if not, and they want kids, will they let them use it someday? It terrifies the hell out of him, but Colton has an Instagram and Facebook account. There are very strict rules, though -- Cage has to be able to follow him on all accounts, and he is allowed to ask him to look at his messages at any point in time to make sure that he isn't doing something he shouldn't be. (He's never had to.)

be honest: have they ever created an account for something else, like a hobby, or… to try to make their cat internet famous? No, he can barely keep up with the ones he has.

do they run any professional or business accounts? Technically. Creekside has an Instagram and Facebook page for business. Cage and one of his workers has access to it, so he helps run it when he remembers to.

have they ever left a social media platform (or more than one) for any specific reason? He's left a lot of social media platforms, since normally he has FOMO and tries them and then remembers that he's not big on social media... and leaves. He did delete X recently, though, when he felt Elon tanked it.

do they plan on using social media into their older ages? Probably, someone has to make sure the kids are behaving.

have they ever made any long-lasting friendships through social media? He wouldn't necessarily say that he has made long-lasting friendships, but he has sustained friendships through social media. He's still friends with guys that he worked with years and years ago, when he first started out in construction.

or on the flip side, gotten into any big social media beef? This is primarily the reason why Cage doesn't get involved, he doesn't want there to be beef. He's argued with people about politics on Facebook, though.

have they ever felt negatively impacted by social media as a user? Not really, no.

who is their favorite person / account to follow on social media? Willie Nelson.

would they say that social media has had an overall more positive or negative impact on the world? Somewhere in the middle. It's hard to deny that social media has done some really great things for the world, but he wonders if they would have found a way to do those things without it, too, and does miss when things were simpler.

and finally: a/s/l? (and do they know what that means?) 38/M/ME. He knows what it is, embarrassingly enough. Not necessarily from social media, but it was still a thing when dating and hook-up apps started to become a big thing.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Updates?

CPA exams for spouse are over, for now. He'll get the results in August and if he failed any part, he needs to pay to take that part again. Fingers crossed we're done with school.

And I feel like the internet is over too. I am seeing the wheels turning and I don't like how it works now or where it's going. I have 50 people who seem to enjoy reading a stream of other people's content that I curate for this soulless corporation that will be doing increasingly stupid things trying to turn a profit on what shouldn't be a for-profit enterprise, human connection. Only the people who were interested in my work before this are interested in it now. I don't want to be an unpaid meme editor.

I'm looking into another desperate reformat of my work, groping around for an audience and a community for the few people who read. And the corporate advice for getting started includes a reminder not to bug people who are more established than me for interaction. Why not start something with your friends and interact with each other?

Yes. What I need to do is show up with a ready-made network of creators, dump a bunch of free content on the platform, and maybe the algorithm will reward us if we're good. And please, do not get ideas above your station and ask your betters for a boost. They hate that.

I know they do, and I guess I know why. Saying, "I like what you made, I also make things" just isn't done anymore. That's something a robot, plagiarist scam artist says. Free content? That's just bait. And it's probably garbage. DMs and direct interaction are for porn bots or people you already know IRL. Connecting with strangers on a human level is not on offer anymore. You need to interact with the whole room, keeping as many profitable attention spans on the platform for as long as possible with your "content." Free stuff on my own website that I pay for isn't profitable enough for anyone else. Short takes that get likes and AI-generated garbage are much better.

I didn't want money, I just wanted to break even and get seen. I've had to accept that if I don't look profitable, I won't get seen. But I don't know how to make myself look profitable when the corporate interests running this place have no interest in human beings who want to say something. Endless regurgitation of the latest popular thing is much better for everyone.

Maybe it is, but it won't keep me here. I'll see about the brave new format, but it'll take a lot of effort on my end. And as for Tumblr... I'm not all that invested in yelling "I like this!" into the void when something interesting goes by. I'll still do it sometimes, I guess. I don't mind putting up an occasional essay, either, but let's get real. I'm basically talking to myself when I do that.

If you're one of a few following because you read, I'm sorry, I'm about to get even quieter. If you were walking by and liked the latest popular thing I reblogged... There are a lot of people here who have way more fun doing that. Go follow them.

[soccerpunching]

Bestieeeeee 😻,

What is your worst IE headcannons?

I'll tell mine back 💅💅💅

I may be too out-of-touch from the fandom to know what people would consider bad and worst but I do have some that others may have an issue with! AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK YOU ABOUT HEADCANONS TOO, BUT YOU GOT ME FIRST! AND I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW YOURS VERY MUCH!! (although I haven't watched most of ares and orion so i may not understand some for now, I would love to hear them still!!)

This ended up a long post, I'm making this cut...

I'll start with a tame one (may also be really boring), but this one needs my other hcs for anyone to understand the actual one I want to share. Here's a "brief" list of the others (happened between og series and inago):

Gouenji has unparallel knowledge of ALL Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks, and Ghibli movies and will defend the female characters with his life. (This is why I thought he probably knows MLP as I said on the last ask)

He's not a fan of social media and does not use anything outside of inalink and private messaging. Not because he's cool, he just doesn't understand them. Much like in honosuto with the laptop, initially with inatube, and how he always forgets his useless phone.

Yuuka convinced him to make an inatter (twitter) and inagram account because she does not want anyone to steal the @ and that she also wants to be able to tag him on her posts (and of his teammates/friends) so they can keep the memories. He saves all the pictures he gets tagged in and sometimes prints them out to keep in an album he designed (he's very good with crafts). I still can't believe honosuto came up with those social media names (except for inagram)

He only cared about the bare minimum use of social media so he only ever retweets in inatter (never made his own tweet ever; but he does reply on some that addresses him) and only posts his creations on inagram with no caption or a few words about what he made (made takoyaki, felted a bunny, crocheted a penguin, made cupcakes, etc.).

He only has three kinds of inatter rts: about soccer, about making art, and tweets of his friends and family. Yuuka made his bio in both of them. He also became good at taking pictures of his creations thanks to Yuuka.

However, he is mildly updated with internet language because that's all he hears from his sister and her friends and from his own friends in the group chat that he only talks in when he's mentioned. He assimilated most of the phrases they use in chats.

Having said all this, he almost has no social media presence. You're lucky to see his page updated after two weeks. He doesn't reply with strangers either unless it's a kid who loves or interested in soccer.

He also doesn't share much in interviews. Very bare minimum of answering questions and always answers in short sentences and just poses for the camera shortly before he bounces. His favorite answer to questions is "oh that's private" not because it's private but because he doesn't want to talk that long in public unless it's something that needs to be said. Example is a question of his opinion on human rights-- something that his agent and/or soccer club prevented the press from ever asking him again (an hc drop another time). He always had strong opinions and doesnt hold back in expressing them (og series and inago) and that's trouble for the club sponsors so they make a lot of effort of stopping anyone from having the opportunity of asking him anything outside of his personal and athlete life.

And the last context here is that Gouenji is autistic, but we already know that.

Okay so now time for the actual bad HC I want to share... which is how Gouenji came out as bisexual to the public

This started with an inatter thread of a person criticizing Anna (Frozen) for her actions in the first movie that reached Gouenji's timeline. Gouenji answers with 7 tweets worth of respectful paragraph of why Anna shouldn't be criticized because of how she was brought up, because of her isolation, and because of her grief, etc. So, everybody lost their mind, etc etc. AND NOW, at the midst of all this, a soccer fan asked him the question below that he answered without thinking much about:

This blew up and his notifications gets flooded with questions about his sexuality and questionable taste that he really didn't mind answering if it wasn't blowing up his phone.

He was out with everyone in his circle that he forgot the world didn't know he's bi. So, he fixed that by tweeting "yes, im bisexual" on his timeline. He logs out and then decided to wait a few months before logging in again.

This didn't sound as fun as I amped it up to be but I think it's a terribly bland HC that I find kind of funny

BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT ASK!! I VERY MUCH WANT TO HEAR YOURS!!!

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Regulus couldn't believe it. Arranged marriage shouldn't be a thing anymore. He had to meet Pandora Lovegood. Probably an annoying rich girl that was as superficial as the rest of these people. Walburga hadn't said precisely he was going to marry her. Regulus just had to be nice with her because they were around the same age. And her Uncle was the American  Ambassador. But most of all, Grandpa Pollux and the rest of the bloody family, wanted to make sure he wasn't gay like Sirius. Not that anyone knew exactly if it was true.

That picture of Sirius kissing Lupin had been circulating throughout the Internet. Remus' face could be recognized but Sirius was on his back and it was blurry. Regulus knew it was him. But no one was hundred percent sure. Orion was still refusing to believe it.

Now Regulus had to pretend of course. Not that Regulus knew if he was straight. He hadn't fancied or dated anyone to know. All he knew was that he didn't want to be "forced" to like someone. But Regulus didn't know how to say no. Another burden that Sirius left.

Pandora Lovegood wasn't what he expected. She wasn't dressed with a classic dress. But with a colorful suit that appeared to have Unicorn vomit on it. She had short platinum hair and cool makeup. Surely what concerned Regulus more was the wide smile he was giving him as they were introduced. Regulus didn't know where to look.

Barty certainly would have many comments and jokes about her and her color choices.

"Regulus...." Walburga said, putting an arm around his shoulder and making him flinch "Why don't you show Pandora around?"

Walburga didn't like Pandora. Regulus could tell. But the fact that she was rich and important (and female) would content the rest of the Family. Which was the purpose after all.

"That sounds wicked!" Pandora bounced.

How did this girl have so much energy?

"Pandora, please take it easy. Will you?" Her Uncle implied rather irritated.

Pandora looked down embarrassed by the scolding.

"I would rather die" Regulus whispered.

"Sorry?" Walburga asked.

"I said it would be my pleasure" Regulus faked a smile.

"Care for a drink, Mr. Lovegood?"

As the adults left them alone, Regulus started panicking. There was a reason why he didn't have more friends than Barty. It was because he wasn't very eloquent with words. Barty did all the talking. Regulus hated speaking. And worse, he hated speaking with strangers.

Pandora was still smiling and looking around.

"Do you think we will live here when we get married?"

Regulus blinked. They hadn't talked about it. No one had said anything. They were introducing them that was all.

"What?" he asked "No, we are not... Who told you that?"

Pandora still didn’t seem bothered. She was still smiling.

"Isn't the whole point of this introduction?" she asked "And why I am going to Hogwarts now. To be close to you"

Regulus shook his head as if he could change things like that.

"Didn't your parents tell you? My Uncle keeps saying you are good suitor for me"

"Your Uncle is delusional. I am not going to marry you. I don't know you at all"

Pandora laughed.

"Let's see my future home"

"This is not your..."

And just like that she started walking through the house. Regulus considered leaving her alone and running away. Maybe hiding in the loo, calling Barty while smoking the joint he had hidden in his pocket. This was the most bizarre girl he had met. Who said such things while meeting someone for the first time?

But there was that feeling of guilt. Something that made him follow the rules and stay put. Something Sirius didn't have. But fuck Sirius. Regulus didn't want to think about him. He was angry. All of this was his fault.

Regulus sighed and rolled his eyes before going after Pandora.

Pandora, Regulus reckoned after spending five minutes with her, was like an energetic kid. She asked questions about everything around the house. And when Regulus was about to answer, she asked another one. Regulus found himself taking vases and reliques out of her hands before she broke them.

"No no no no... You're going to break this"

Or forbid her to touch stuff she wasn’t supposed to touch.

"Leave that alone, will you?"

Seriously it was like babysitting. Regulus hated kids. So he rolled his eyes every five seconds. Pandora introduced herself to all the servitude around as if they were Regulus' family or friends. The worst part was that she said: "Hi, I'm Pandora! Regulus' friend" to anyone who listened. Including some guests at the party.

"I want to see your room" Pandora said when they got to the second floor.

'When girls say that.. ' a voice inside his head that sounded too much like Barty said '.. Is because they want to have sex with you'

"No! Why?"

Regulus never understood his own cousins. Worst of all, another girls. He hadn't spoken to one for more than five minutes.

The idea of shagging Pandora made him panic. Even snogging her. Even coming closer.

"The way someone keeps their room says a lot about them" Pandora shrugged "Is it here?"

Pandora was pointing to Sirius' room, which hadn't been touched or opened since he left. Except when Regulus got extremely high and he missed his brother like hell, and he sneaked in.

"No!" Regulus took her arm and pushed her away rather harshly "Don't go in there!"

Pandora looked at him in confusion. Rubbing her arm. And Regulus realized perhaps he had been a bit too harsh. So his expression softened.

"My room is over there" he said pointing down the hall "But you have to promise not to touch anything"

Pandora smiled and nodded.

"Promise"

Pandora kept her promise. She didn't touch anything but she eyed everything with great curiousity. Regulus' room was very tidy in comparison to Sirius'. He didn't use much decorations or posters. Just a My Chemical Romance poster that had skeletons on it and Regulus found cool.

Pandora started singing the lyrics of The Black Parade which was kind of surprising. Regulus didn't know a pinky princess like her would like this type of music.

She eyed the well made bed, and the pile of clothes very well folded on a corner. And the stash of books Regulus owned. And the music sheets stuck by his desk.

"You are a musician?"

"I used to play the piano. Not anymore"

He used to practice daily. It was one of the things he loved doing when he was younger. But he didn't find inspiration anymore. He found all of it silly. Maybe because he was tired and sad all the time.

Pandora didn't answer. She seemed to be occupied with something on Regulus' night table.

"What is this?"

Pandora was holding the box that contained his stash of weed. No one from his family knew he actually smoked. He had forgotten to hide it. Pandora looked like the snitch that would tell her Uncle and the man would tell Regulus' parents. And he didn't want to have that conversation.

"Nothing!" Regulus took the box for himself.

He put the box inside a drawer rather aggressively. He could feel the joint inside his pocket burning.

Regulus might've needed it right now.

Pandora shrugged and moved to grab a picture frame. It was a picture of Sirius and him when they were kids. It was a happy one. Not like the the ones The Black's used for press or put around the house to pretend they were a happy family. Their smiles were genuine. That day their parents had a business trip or something. And Mrs. Syre had been miraculously sick. So they were sent to spend the day with their Uncle Alphard. Regulus remembered it as one of the best days of his life. Their Uncle let them eat all the sugar they wanted and play as much as they wished. Alphard had been into photography at that time. He was always into something new. And he took the picture. Sirius kept it of course. He kept everything cool or nice. And Regulus had found it in his room when he sneaked there to smoke the other day. That picture was before Lupin, before Potter, before everything.

"Is this you brother?" Pandora asked, getting Regulus out of the memory "I heard so much about him. That he is gay now and all... Which is fine. There's nothing wrong about being gay. I am actually thinking perhaps... "

"He is not gay" Regulus found himself spiting , Interrupting Pandora "He is just a bloody douchebag"

Thinking about Sirius made him extremely angry and sad lately. So much that he felt like punching something or breaking down crying. Regulus hated that he had left. Just like that. And suddenly forgot he had a family. That he had a brother. And Regulus had to take care of a lot of things since he left.

He hated that Pandora had an opinion about Sirius, that everyone had an opinion. That everyone was judging him.

Regulus took his stash out of the drawer, grabbed the frame from Pandora's hands and put it down. Hiding the picture.

"If you want to see what this is, I will show you" Regulus said "Follow me"

Pandora followed him very pleased, with a big smile on her face, and even bouncing a little.

"Your room shows you are actually not that though as you look like" Pandora said as she followed "You care too much about things and you are very disciplined with yourself. But you keep everything in layers afraid of showing others"

Regulus stopped walking just to say:

"Don't physicoanalize me based on my room"

Pandora simply laughed.

But she talked a lot on their way to the study where Regulus usually liked to smoke because of its large window so the smell would go away. Pandora talked about a lot of random facts about herself, her Uncle, and a lad named Ralf which apparently was her body guard. Regulus pretended he didn't care. But he listened closely.

By the time they got to the study, Regulus regretted even bringing Pandora here. She seemed like an innocent girl. Regulus didn't want to show her how to smoke weed.

But God, he was so stressed with everything. And Pandora talking and talking. He needed something to ease his mind.

"You can return to the party now"

"But I am having a blast with you!"

Pandora smiled as she began to curiously wonder around the room. Like she had done with all of the others.

"I thought we were smoking weed"

Damn. Perhaps this girl wasn't that innocent.

"I am not stupid" Pandora laughed, watching his face "I know how it smells and looks. Tons of kids used to do it at my school"

"And you?"

Pandora shook her head.

"I had never"

"Well then... I am not going to be the one to corrupt you"

"Is this a thing you would like to do right now?"

He would love to. But preferably alone. Or with Barty.

"Well..."

"Then let's do it!" Pandora exclaimed "I want to like the things you like. Because we are friends..."

They weren't friends.

"Or future spouses"

Pandora smiled as she tried to reach the joint in Regulus' hand but he pulled away.

"No!" he snapped "And we are not going to be spouses ever"

"Come on, Regulus" Pandora begged trying to reach it "Let me try"

"No!"

"I want to be cool like you!"

Regulus had never considered himself cool but okay...

"I said no!"

"Regulus Henry Black!" Pandora put her hands on her hips.

"My second name is not Henry"

"Whatever, it is the first name that came into my mind" Pandora shrugged. Then she frowned "Give it to me!"

"No!"

Pandora was now trying to tickle him. Just like Sirius used to do when they were kids. Regulus did his best not to giggle. And kept putting the joint away. Above his head because he was taller.

The next thing that happened was that Pandora had climbed on his waist, trying to grab it.

"Give it here!"

"Get off me!"

"Come on, Regulus!"

"What is wrong with you?!"

Pandora was laughing and Regulus hadn't had a clue of what to do. He was trying to cover himself and avoid the tickles. And Pandora was way heavier than she seems.

"Jesus Christ! Get off me!"

"I won't give up, Regulus"

It got to the point where they dropped to the floor on the carpet.

Regulus was on his back and Pandora was sitting on his waist. She finally grabbed the joint from his hand because Regulus was suddenly too uncomfortable to fight.

"Ha! Got it!" Pandora laughed.

"Honestly, what is wrong with you? You are literally insane!"

Pandora's expression changed. She looked sad and embarassed now which made Regulus feel guilty. But then Pandora added with a smile.

"How do I use this?"

In that second they heard a voice approaching.

"I told you I cannot talk right now, Ulrich!... Yes I am with her... What's the problem?... It's Narcissa, my girlfriend...."

Regulus didn't have time to react before Lucius Malfoy had crossed the door speaking on the phone. He was surprised to see Regulus there. Like he had been caught doing something bad. But then he saw Pandora on his waist and Lucius raised an eyebrow smiling.

"I have to go" he said to the phone. Then he stood by the door, crossing his arms and looking amused between the two.

"Sorry... Am I interrupting something?"

Regulus then realized in the compromised position they were immersed into.

"No! No no no..." he pushed Pandora away and she dropped to the floor letting out a soft shriek.

"No there is nothing going on..." Regulus stood up nervously "Me and her? No... Not at all"

This night had been crazy so far. He didn't want Lucius Malfoy, the bloody king of gossip, to tell Narcissa or worse Bellatrix about this. They would never leave him alone.

Or perhaps this was what the family wanted....

But Regulus would rather die than actually date a girl like this. She was too much.

But Lucius was laughing.

"I didn't know you were a little Casanova, eh Reggie?"

Sirius hated this asshole for a reason. He was a twat. Worth pranking on. Narcissa deserved better.

"Who would have thought?"

"Regulus, you pushed me!" And Pandora was now on his side. Until she noticed Lucius.

"Hi, I am Pandora" she shook his hand "Regulus' friend"

"We are not friends" Regulus said under his breath but there was no use.

"Lucius Malfoy..." he answered "Nice to meet you, sweetheart"

"Regulus and I were about to smoke a joint, Lucius"

Regulus' eyes opened up like plates. This girl was so thick.

"Pandora..." he grunted.

"A joint, you said?" Lucius asked.

Regulus wanted to deny it but Pandora had it in her hands and Regulus wanted to die.

Lucius smiled and closed the door behind him.

"Do you mind sharing that, Reggie?"

"It's Regulus. And no! We are just leaving"

He grabbed Pandora's hand for some reason but Lucius added:.

"If you share I won't tell anyone you smoke"

Regulus stopped.

"Does Cissy know you smoke?"

"Does Cissy know YOU smoke?"

This fucking wanker.

"Who is Ulrich?"

Lucius was surprised by that question.

"A friend from Oslo" he answered nervously "Is she your girlfriend?" Lucius pointed at Pandora.

"No! She is my... friend"

Was she? Pandora smiled at that statement.

"And future wife" she added.

Regulus dropped her hand because he was still holding it.

"No we are not!"

"Yes we are?"

"Says who?"

"Our families"

"Bullshit"

"Damn..." Lucius added looking between the two "The chemistry"

Regulus wanted to vomit.

They ended up sharing the split. Regulus and Lucius had agreed to not tell what they apparently knew about each other and keep quiet. Somehow Pandora agreed too. Though she wasn't involved but whatever.

Regulus found himself very pendant of Pandora because it was her first time smoking. She coughed a little but then she learned quickly not to. Regulus didn't know if he should be surprised or concerned.

All he knew was that he was starting to relax as he got high. Best feeling in the world lately.

"Is it true you are marrying Narcissa?"

Regulus asked, trying not to be bothered by Pandora's hands running through his hair.

Lucius coughed after he took a drag.

"Who told you that?"

"Everyone is expeculating about it" Regulus shrugged "It is the next move, isn't it? Now that Sirius is not the heir. Probably your father thinks I am not capable. You have to marry Narcissa to be part of the family and therefore be considered an Heir"

Lucius seemed pale and uncomfortable. But perhaps he was also high because he grinned.

"Damn, Reggie. You are too fucking intelligent"

"It's Regulus"

"Who is Narcissa?"

Pandora seemed to be the most high of them all. And Regulus was worried because it was his responsabilty.

"My cousin..." he said "His girlfriend"

Lucius nodded at that.

"Oh that's cool!" Pandora bounced on the couch "I think I actually have cousins but none of them speak to me. No one from my father's side speak to me. Apparently he ran off to marry my mother who was a hippie woman that new about magic... They said she was a witch..."

Regulus and Lucius looked between each other. This girl was insane.

"But I think maybe she was on drugs all the time, you know? Because I feel like magic right now" she touched Regulus' hair again and he flinched "Regulus' hair is magic... So soft and fluffy like a bunny"

Regulus pulled away "Let go"

"Anyway my parents died in a car accident when I was nine..." Pandora continued "I was there. And I like to believe she put a spell on me to keep me protected and save me from death"

Regulus didn't know what to say. Luckily Lucius spoke.

"Hell! You're a miracle then!"

"I am a miracle!" Pandora screamed and then giggled dropping her head on Regulus' shoulder. If he wasn't this high and relaxed he would've probably pushed her away.

"I have the ring, Reggie..." Lucius was saying now.

"It's Regulus"

Lucius ignored him taking a tiny shinny little ring from his pocket. Oh! An engagement ring. Cissy...

"I don't know what to do" Lucius sighed "I love her but I don't know if I want to marry her, you know?"

"Oh! Shinny!" Pandora luckily got off Regulus' shoulder and leaned in to look at that ring up close.

"It was my mother's" Lucius said miserably "Now I have to give it to her, to Cissy"

Regulus thought of Narcissa and the amount of time she talked about Lucius. How she talked about him like he was the best bloke alive, a real prince. How Cissy got so happy when Lucius arrived at Family Gatherings showering him with kisses. Did Lucius feel the same?

Sometimes Regulus didn't understand love. It sounded like a lot compromise. Like something that made people act stupid. Regulus thought of Andromeda and how she left everything for Tonks. He thought about Sirius and how he always preferred Lupin. Was it all worth it?

And now Pandora was speaking.

"If you love her, Lucius. If you truly love her then you should propose and marry her"

Lucius' eyes were watery.

"Sounds easy, eh?"

"It is"

"Have you ever been in love, Pandora?"

"No" Pandora answered immediately "But love is easy. People are the ones who made it complicated"

Perhaps that was true.

Lucius pocketed the ring and leaned back.

"I thought you were going to marry, Reggie"

Regulus blushed for some reason. Mainly because they were talking about him. In front of him.

"Nah..." Pandora gave Regulus a smile than made him blush even more "I don't want to marry, Regulus. I just think he is really cool and I want to be his friend"

Lucius chuckled.

"Friendzoning  him already, eh? Poor Reggie"

Regulus rolled his eyes. Pandora laughed.

"Shut up, Malfoy" he said "And it's Regulus!"

Although he was glad that Pandora didn't have a crush or something. That would be weird.

The door was bursted open. And Regulus almost had a heart attack. But it was only Bellatrix and Narcissa.

"Lucius! There you are!" the latter said.

Regulus hid the joint behind his back but he hadn't realized they were surrounded by smoke until his cousins coughed and cleared it away.

"What the hell is that smell?" Bella asked but her wicked smile and expression showed she already knew everything.

"Cissy!" Lucius tried to grab her waist

"Are you smoking weed?" she asked indignated "And with my little cousin?"

"Reggie is cool"

"Yeah, Reggie is cool" Pandora added.

"It's Regulus..."

"Who is she?" Bellatrix was staring at Pandora with disgust.

"Pandora Lovegood!" she extended her hand "Regulus' friend"

Regulus rolled his eyes.

Bellatrix pursed her lips.

"Oh! The American Ambassador's niece" she told with amusement to her sister. But Narcissa was busy trying to wake Lucius who had apparently fallen asleep.

Regulus didn't know what that meant. He didn't want to ask.

Bellatrix turned to them again.

"Give it to me!" Bellatrix demanded.

"What are you talking ab.... Ah ah ah!" he protested when Bellatrix pulled his ear "Bella!"

"Give it now!"

"Jesus fucking Christ!"

Regulus was embarrassed to be scolded by his older cousin in front of Pandora. Practically a stranger, was she?

Regulus showed Bellatrix the joint. It was almost finished. Bellatrix raised an eyebrow.

"Please don't tell my parents!"

Bella came closer and Regulus flinched.

"The next time, don't invite that wanker" she pointed to Lucius who was on Narcissa's lap "Invite your dear cousin, will you?"

Regulus didn't expect that. So Bella smoked too, ha? He was relieved.

At least this night didn't turn as boring as he had expected. The first New Years Party without Sirius to make mischief. And it didn't turn to be that bad. All thanks to the strange girl next to him.

[aliensareactuallycows]

To my pen pal, Leipä

I know that I knew you just for a few letters, for a month. Still, I miss you. I wish you would said your farewells.

I started to use that app. You were one of the first people I wrote. It was automatch system and your pre-written letter was sent to me. Your wild writing style, your emoji using and your seemingly great sense of humour got my attention, and I wrote back. I told about myself, asked questions and wrote reference to a series that almost no one knows, in hope you would get it, and lied that it was traditional greeting.

Of course you didn't get it, so I told you I lied. You didn't trust me since (okay, I believe you were just joking. Maybe.).

To my delight, you answered. You told something about yourself (not your real name, because not like me, you are a reasonable person and don't tell those things to a complete stranger on internet), answered my questions, and asked some.

Then we started to speak and I told you about my preferences, role models and dreams. It was nice. I always waited impatiently when I saw your letter was coming.

Then it came: lack of motivation. It's always when I download an app. For a while, I'm super into it. And then the lack of motivation just comes. I can't really influence it. Anyway, I tried to keep it up even if I sometimes forgot that the app existed. Still, I appreciated your letters, even if it took long time to write back.

We wrote few letters. You even told me your real name. But then... You send that one letter, normal letter. And I tried to answer, but like usual, it took long time. But about 3 days after that letter, your account was deactivated. I don't know what changed or why did you do it. Maybe something happened, or you just got bored to app.

But still, I would have wanted farewells. It's okay, we didn't really know each other. But I considered you as my friend. I know. I sent you like 3-5 letters maybe. Maybe it's weird. But you were, (oops I shouldn't write this in past tense) and still are, amazing as far as I can tell.

I even tried to find you from internet, but nothing. Well, if you would have wanted me to reach you, you would have warned me, but still I wanted at least hear it from you. Probably this will never reach you, but I just wanted to send this to somewhere, partly because I have this futile hope that you would read this.

(The app was Slowly if someone wants to know)

From

Your weirdo pen pal 🌼

[ilikekidsshows]

Basically, the issue that's causing the anti-Dadrius folks is the same thing that caused so many issues in the Miraculous fandom, the Gravity Falls fandom, etc.: past generations thought "everyone who disagrees with me is wrong". Today's generation thinks, "everyone Secretly Agrees with Me Already, but some psychological dysfunction is preventing them from seeing things properly". So, today's fans are obnoxious because they don't think the rest of us are wrong, they think we're Brainwashed (TM).

I have seen the argument that some people online think that they're so correct that everyone does agree with them, but is just hiding it for whatever reason. That they're using the argument that: "you have no reason to trust anything a stranger online tells you," to justify completely making up everybody else's personality. But I've mostly seen that attitude in people who think: "Maybe we shouldn't act like asses 24/7 when online," should always be answered with: "This is the internet! Everybody's an ass!" while the fact that someone just politely asking them to be less of an ass should already be evidence to the contrary. "Everybody else is an ass, so I am justified." Basically, they feel they're so correct, they don't actually write any proper counterarguments despite being the one to start the argument.

There is more to the tendency to try to pick fights in fandom spaces, though. I feel stuff like tag-bombers and post-hijackers are a result of more people online disregarding the concept of personal space, even in a digital space. Like, how often does someone defend hopping onto someone else's post with something combatative with: "You posted this publically online, so I'm justified in arguing with you," completely forgetting the possibility that the post might be trying to reach like-minded individuals? They definitely show the Everyone Secretly Agrees With Me attitude in viewing this behavior as okay when they're called out on it.

These people also actively stalk the tags used by people who disagree with them to find posts to argue with, or just post their opposing takes but tag them with the tags used by the people who are guaranteed to disagree with their posts. They often play coy ("I used the ship tag because I'm talking about the ship no other reason I swear!"), but tag-bombing is about picking fights. Basically, everything is treated as an invitation to debate, every topic as something suitable to debate over and every other fan as a willing debate partner.

I've seen people lamenting how we no longer use phrases like: "Don't like, don't read." Basically, fandoms can no longer just accept that one group of people thinks this way and another group of people thinks that way and if you feel too strongly about mutually exclusive takes, you probably should avoid each other for the sake of having a lighter fandom space. Shipping wars have always been a thing, and could get pretty ugly, but these days people seem to feel so strongly about everything and feel the need to prove that they're correct more often than before.

For many, it used to be enough to privately think you are right and chuckle with your like-minded friends over how everyone else is wrong, but now you have to prove that your way of thinking is actually the most logical one. Like you said, these people think that the only reason anyone thinks differently from them is that they don't know any better and they just need to be educated, because, surely, if they knew all the facts, they'd agree with the "obvious correct take".

Some fandom behaviors have gotten more exhausting, is what I say.

[sheprzia]

Ive learned that you really gotta sit there and try to comfort yourself and learn to deal with things on your own- not because you aren't deserving of help or because someone shouldn't help you through hard times but because people suck.

Theyll pull this tough love bs not realizing what a complete and utter cunt they look like when you are clearly going through a lot and have probably explained that many times.

It would probably be fine, maybe even meaningful out of a stranger but coming from someone you love and trust? It just feels like an attack.

It is a breach of understanding. It shows that they don't know you, they don't understand you. They will not give you what you ask for because they think they know better than you.

Don't waste your time. Don't sit there and try to explain that their advice won't help your situation because xyz- otherwise they'll just get mad and tell you you're ungrateful.

Just comfort yourself. Be there for yourself. Be your own friend because you can't truly know anyone on this earth.

(more ⬇️ )

Come to grips with the fact that at the end of the day you may only be left with your self and that has to be enough.

I've hated myself since day one of my life but I had no reason to. It was because of the way I was treated. The way I was shamed and looked down upon. Gum on the buttom of their shoe.

I even got beat up on the bus as a kid. A girl came up out of nowhere while kids were throwing 🧀 in my hair and starting punching me in the face and just- beating the shit out of me.

I screamed for help but none came.

She beat my ass to my bus stop.

And what for? To this day I have no idea.

People have always been abusive towards me.

But that is no reason why I should look inwards when I know I have spent every waking moment trying to be kind and good because I believe that's the way people should be and I have been through TOO MUCH to consciously inflict pain on others.

I could talk for hours. I used to be quite the writer as a kid. And when my mom got mad I would write her letters soaked in tears- and when I stopped being able to cry because of the stress and truama I started dabbing it with spit.

She ripped up the letters. The apologies. All of it and I lost my ability to write my feelings on paper. I can't even keep a journal. I just feel dread when I try.

Though maybe that's for the best given how mentally ill I am. Don't need a paper trail...

I'm sure you get if you're still reading that I'm going through it. I've been jerked around too much. I spent my entire life doing my best while many times actively trying to 🛑 living.

If you're going through it too I want you to know no matter how small you think your problems are or how big, it's okay. You don't need to keep asking yourself if the way you feel is valid. You are.

You're not alone either. I've been through almost everything under the sun. If you ever need to reach out I'll reply. I promise I will. If it takes some time it's because my app and Internet is stupid but I will listen.

Anyways. Thanks for listening to me go on.

Therapy doesn't do shit for me but I feel sharing my story does some how.

[lennygray]

"Oh god no I hope it wasn't-- that would have been extreme and very disturbing-- though it's kinda funny to think about that person wanting to playfully bite their friend and ending up biting a complete stranger." he chuckled, "Though I shouldn't judge too much my dumbass would do it too." he added with a laugh. "Oh no, I'm definitely a kicker but I also got the coordination of a new born deer, I tried playing soccer when I was younger but I usually fell over the ball or kicked like right next to it. Eventually my team mates just stopped passing the ball to me because it would usually lead to us losing." he sighed, with a smile, god did he hate sports. "Oh well favorite color is black-- though red is a very honorable mention. Favorite movie-- god that one changes so much but I'd definitely just say most classic horror movies-- though if I really thought long and hard about it-- hmm-- ehm... probably the blair witch project, that movie was just-- terrifying." he said, smiling over at the other, he knew Alexander hadn't actually meant to learn those things, but by god could Killian not stop his mouth once it started talking.

"Ah not trusting the internet-- I get it, it's absolutely crazy what some people can do on it. So I completely get not wanting to put your entire life on there." he nodded. "Oh-- I have tried scrapbooking, well I kind of do scrapbooking whenever I remember I have one laying around. Which isn't very often. Most things end up in this journal, a random journal or in a drawer that is full of stuff I want to keep but can't place yet." he chuckled.

"God no, I'm easy as hell you can literally just ask me and my dumbass will spill it all. It's quiet literally my character flaw. But good to know-- so three hang out sessions or alcohol. Interesting." he joked, playfully winking at the other. "Grasshoppers? Really?" Killian questioned, chuckling lightly to himself. "Well-- first off I'd love to hear about grasshoppers, second off-- did you end up getting the job?"

"It wasn't like, tearing-flesh type of bite. I don't know how to explain it without it sounding weird. It was just strange, I think they thought I was someone else when they came to their senses" he tried to explain the circumstances in more detail to try and give some grace to the stranger. Blue eyes fall to the other's restless feet nodding along with the information given to him. "Not a biter but a kicker— you'd be a hit in a soccer team, got it. The more time passes the more I learn about you it's kind of cool. I'm expecting to learn your favorite color and favorite movie by the time this bag of pistachios is empty" the chef hinted with a smirk, eyebrow arched in a teasing manner. He then relaxed the muscles on his face again, breathing in nodding along to the man's words. "It sounds exhausting and hazardous, don't people's accounts can get leaked and stuff? I sound paranoid and maybe I am but I've seen what rapscallions can do online, I'm not putting my whole life up there. I may forget stuff for never writing it down but I know damn well no one will try to steal vital information via... bots or whatever." Alex then listens to the man, humming in response. "That does sounds nice, keeping memorabilia of important dates I mean. You should try scrapbooking" he suggested.

He considered his answer for a brief second. "I'd say you need like, 3 more times hanging out before I unpack all baggage but trust me when I say that's for your own well being. Either that or like, a sinful amount alcohol. What about you? Need to unlock some special code to get the whole backstory?" he provided with half a smirk to match his own playfulness. He then took his hand to the back of his neck to scratch it anxiously. "I know a lot random useless facts no one really cares about. You learn stuff growing up that somehow just stays in your brain throughout your life and sometimes you just spill it when you shouldn't, y'know? There was this one time I talked about grasshoppers for five minutes in the middle of a job interview."

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

man "ship and let ship" kinda stops working when ppl are actively shipping minor and adult characters together like hello?? same with the "dont like dont read" mentality, some shit shouldn't be fetishised maybe??

You've got a lot going on in this ask, anon, and it's obviously not asked in good faith. If I were a smarter human being, I'd delete it and move on with my life, but it's 9am on a Saturday morning and I'm still on my first cup of coffee so I'm just dumb enough to take the bait and respond.

Ship and let ship doesn't mean you need to approve of what other people are shipping. It doesn't mean you need to like what other people are shipping. It means that what other people ship is their business and what I ship is my business.

If I don't like a ship, I don't read it. I don't search out the tag. I don't try to find creators for it. I don't watch youtube compilations or stare at gifs or read meta analysis about how the ship is supported by canon.

If I don't like a ship, I just... don't think about it. It really is that easy. And when I do think about it, I might be annoyed for a moment, but then I move on with my life because guess what? Shipping is a meaningless hobby that I engage in during my free time and I don't want to waste my free time feeling pissed off.

I've seen a lot of bizarre definitions of "minor/adult" shipping, but even if we use the definition of an adult sexually abusing a child, it's still very easy for me not to read that story on AO3. I'm assuming this is all about AO3? It always seems to be in this kind of ask.

AO3 requires people to use one of two warnings in those cases. Either Underage or Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings - or both. I use the filter system to remove works with those warnings from my search results and guess what? Those works might as well not exist for me because I've never seen one. And I've been on AO3 since about 2013.

The thing about these kinds of opinions is that they only ever come up in relation to shipping. I never see these opinions related to violence or drugs or swearing or whatever else you might find morally repugnant. But the handy thing about "don't like, don't read" is that it applies across the board.

I don't think I'm going to like the new Jurassic Park movie, so I'm not going to go to a movie theatre, spend $15, and sit in a dark room with strangers for two hours to watch it. I'm not going to read reviews of it. I'm not going to watch the trailer. If a friend of mine invites me to go see it, I'll pass. I won't stop my friend from going to see it, though. If they're going to enjoy it then they should - and they're not going to fetishize dinosaurs or paleontologists or the tourism industry when they do.

If you're not able to control your own reading habits, then you should probably be more careful on the internet. Use Net Nanny or other content filtering tools to make sure that you can avoid the content that you're unable to resist through willpower alone. But don't make your inability to stay away from things you don't like my problem. That's all on you.

[c-is-for-circinate]

Like, is the gist "Real life pedophilia/incest/rape is bad, and stories saying these things are good are bad, but including these topics in a story isn't inherently bad, so the people being like 'hey, maybe Ao3 shouldn't have so much kiddie porn there's an entire category called "Underage"' are just overreacting and making things worse?" Because it feels like you're saying, "your negative reaction to this stuff is valid, but also you're annoying and prudish and bad and really you aren't valid."

So here’s the thing: it really does not sound like you're asking this question because you want my answer, it sounds like you want to be angry with me and have a fight. And fair enough! I'm not terribly interested in a fight, but apparently this is my day to dive into this topic as thoughtfully and honestly as I can be. Maybe I'll say something you haven't already heard from other people before. Maybe not! Only you, anonymous asker, know that.

To begin with, you got part of the gist right. Real life rape (including child abuse/child sexual abuse as well as incest) is bad. Stories about rape, about underage sex, and about incest, are stories.

They're stories. They're pixels on a screen. They're not real. Whether they claim that rape is good, or bad, or sexy, or melodramatic, or life-destroying, or a normal Tuesday afternoon. They're stories.

And having a negative reaction to them is valid. Stories can stir up powerful emotions in people. It is absolutely, 100%, fair and valid and even normal for there to be certain tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that make you upset and that you never want to see in a story you read, ever. You don't have to want to read about sex. You don't have to want to read any of it. That doesn't make you bad.

There are tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that upset me. There are stories I won't read. The same is true of literally everyone else I know. Even though I know the stories aren't real. Even though I know the things happening in them are happening to fictional characters, who do not exist, who I cannot protect and who also cannot be harmed because they're not real. Even then, I can be made sad and scared and upset and hurt by reading those stories. And that is okay and that is valid and I am not bad or wrong for being upset about the story I've read, and neither are you.

But that doesn't mean the story doesn't have value to somebody else. That doesn't mean the story isn't important to somebody else.

What I see most often coming from antis, possibly even including yourself, is an overwhelming desire to protect. They want to keep themselves and others--possibly people they know, possibly hypothetical people they may never meet--safe from being hurt by these stories. And that desire to protect, also, is normal. It's even admirable! The problem, though, the thing that does more harm than good, is when that desire to protect drives people to lash out against things that matter to other people.

There is a difference between actual rape and stories about rape. There is a difference between a story that could theoretically hurt somebody, someday (which is all stories, always), and a story that hurts you personally. And there is a difference between a story that hurts you personally, and a story that is inherently poisonous to everyone who touches it.

We know--absolutely, scientifically, incontrovertibly--that stories about rape do not make people rapists. Yes, even the stories where the rape is there to be sexy. Even stories where the person being raped is a child. Even then. Fiction is not the same thing as normalization; again, there are far smarter people who have written far more extensively on that topic than I, and next time I come across something that goes more into detail on this point I promise I will reblog it. If this really is the thing you're afraid of, I may not be the right person to convince you that this is an unfounded fear, but I know someone out there can elaborate on it.

(Unfounded, which is not the same thing as invalid. My mother's claustrophobia is unfounded; it flares up in many situations where there's no physical threat whatsoever, where she has plenty of space to move and air to breathe. It's still real. It still chokes her. It's still valid, she is not bad or broken to feel that way, and she still can't drive through certain tunnels. The fear is real. But the thing she's afraid of can't physically hurt her, and that is worth knowing in terms of how she deals with it.)

We know, absolutely, scientifically, and incontrovertibly, that stories about rape and many, many, many other things can hurt and even traumatize their readers. Even though the situation you're reacting to is not real and you receive no physical injury, you can still be hurt by it. The key word there, though, is readers. The fact that the horror genre is out there terrifying people who enjoy being terrified for fun does not damage me unless I do something stupid and try listening to the Magnus Archives again and end up tense and miserable and paranoid for the rest of the week. The fact that guacamole is apparently delicious to everybody else in the world does not hurt me unless I do something stupid and order the wrong thing at a restaurant, and end up itchy and miserable with a little trouble breathing for the rest of the night.

The fact that there are, yes, tens of thousands of fics on AO3 in which characters under the age of 18 have sex? It can't hurt you. Those fics do not hurt you by existing. They can only hurt you if you read them. They can only hurt anyone who reads them. That's why there is an 'Underage' tag--and it's worth noting, 'Underage' is a warning, not a category. Nobody wants you to get hurt reading the wrong fic, any more than the sushi chef wants my throat to swell up because I ordered something with avocado. Literally nobody wants that.

The flip side, of course, is that you hating each and every one of those fics individually and as a group doesn't actually hurt me, or anyone else who writes, reads, or enjoys them. By itself. You can hate anything you like, and fic writers can write anything they like, and it all comes out in the end, more or less. Except.

Except that reading fic is always, entirely, 100% opt-in, and online harassment isn't even opt-out. Some antis have a nasty habit of going after writers whose content they don't like; climbing into inboxes and comments sections, calling those writers nasty names, throwing around cruelties and aggression and insults. I know that's not the same thing as simply disliking a genre, or even passively disagreeing with its existence (although disliking a genre and disagreeing with its right to exist are also very different things). I know not all antis do that. I don't know you, anon, but based on the speed and aggressiveness of this response to my last post, I can't help but wonder if you would do that.

And that does hurt people. Just like it might hurt you if someone threw a bunch of content that makes you uncomfortable into your inbox. Including the harasser, actually--because getting into fights with strangers on the internet about things that make you angry, sad, defensive, and upset isn't good for anybody. Including both you and me.

Anyway, after yet another lengthy ramble, let's get the tl;dr response to your ask here: nobody is ever bad or wrong for disliking certain content in their stories, no matter what that content is. You and your emotions are valid. The "overreacting and making things worse" part isn't about what you feel, but what you do with it. Constantly engaging with places where the thing that upsets you will probably show up, even to argue and try to fight it, will make things worse in the sense that now you're spending way more time thinking about this thing that makes you upset and angry, thereby leaving you more upset and angry. Getting together with a bunch of your upset, angry friends to make your feelings everybody else's problem? Makes fandom a more toxic place for everyone else involved.

Don't read stuff that's going to hurt you. Don't make other people read stuff that's going to hurt them. That's the whole thing, really.

[olderthannetfic]

Here's my hot take for the day, produced mostly by frustration—so it's a little venty, probably. As a reader and a writer (and a lit graduate, I guess, if that matters), I really wish we'd gotten over the kinds of absolutist and prescriptive writing advice that was popular on LJ in the 00s and is still, somehow, unfathomably, common now on fannish social media.

I don't think most of it is actually helpful to even inexperienced writers, who could instead ask a supportive friend (or ask around for a supportive stranger, honestly; pretty sure there's still places where you can match with a beta reader) to look at their work. They shouldn't feel the pressure to internalising bizarre "rules" from the internet that they will have to unlearn with some anxiety later. Things like "epithets are bad, excise them from your draft," or "using an adverb means you should have used a stronger verb instead, so go through your writing and cut them all out". Like, okay, adverb example: sometimes, perhaps, but sometimes the adverb actually means what you want to say, and there's no stronger verb for it. Or maybe you like the alliteration or the assonance you have now. Maybe it changes where the emphasis falls in the sentence. Perhaps it has significance to something earlier in the text! Maybe someone said, 'don't be rude,' one line ago and you want to immediately go on to write 'he said, rudely,' because you're making a reference to that.

Sometimes the people who still post with so much authority about the evils of adverbs, tired aphorisms, cliches and so on don't really seem to be able to define what these even are, so it seems odd for them to presume to tell other people how to write. And it's kind of frustrating to think people, especially younger inexperienced fans writing for fun, might still alter their works on the basis of advice from complete strangers (which is what happened in my LJ friends list a lot when I was younger), and not instead edit on the basis of what they actually want to write and what they find fun.

--

Misunderstanding basic writing advice as "Don't use adverbs" is age old. It long predates LJ.

Look, I love discussing writing craft, and I agree that some posts are too draconian, but the majority of the time, what I see is good advice that is correct and even disclaimered appropriately... and then flagrantly misinterpreted because a lot of people reading writing advice are simply too inexperienced and insecure to internalize a murky rule that requires them to apply judgment.

Even when the post is nuanced, that's not what they remember.

If there are two writers giving tips, one with real, nuanced advice and one who screams loudly on youtube and gives a black and white checklist, the latter is getting the clicks.

Would-be writers with no confidence will always misosmose advice and internalize the wrong parts. That's just part of lacking confidence and experience.