#you might need some time to dig up those old bones your younger self left behind you said your offer is nice but here should suffice.

[planet4546b]

i miss hale.

[rhetoricalrogue]

Jogging the Memory

Fiction Type: Fanfiction Fandom: Dragon Age Prompt: "I need you."

Diving into @fictober-event by putting a spin on some old reliable characters and putting them into the AU @alittlestarling and I have been throwing ideas back and forth to the other for forever.

“I need you to –”

Ravena met Blackwall’s earnest plea with an arched eyebrow. “To keep quiet that I know you from a few years ago?” She tilted her head. “Under a different name than the one you’re using now?”

“You don’t understand, it’s…” he sighed. “That old name is dead now, as is the past that went with it.”

She shrugged and went back to packing her bag. Before he had knocked on the door of the cottage she was sharing with her cousins, Ravena had been preparing to go out into the field and accompany the Herald into the Hinterlands to hopefully acquire horses for the Inquisition. Personal curiosity in the astrariums littering the landscape Roz had mentioned had been the main reason she had requested the to join the outgoing party, but she sincerely hoped that unlocking their secrets would lead to something that would benefit the Inquisition, fledgling organization as it was.

Oh Henri, she thought wistfully, a pang of grief sharp at her chest. If only you were here to see this with me.

“Some pasts we can’t run from, Rainier,” she told him, not looking up as she carefully put a well-worn notebook in with her belongings. She may not have her mentor here with her any longer, but she could still find comfort in the knowledge that his personal effects had been safely stowed away in the inn that he had been staying at before heading to the Conclave. She may never find a body to mourn amid the ashes of the temple she and her dear cousin had once helped restore, but at least she had his familiar book of notes to keep his memory alive. “Especially pasts like yours.”

“My name is Blackwall,” he hissed, tone suddenly sharp, dangerous. Ravena started when his hand shot out and gripped her wrist, her mind flashing to the dagger she kept inside her right boot. It was a gift from her other cousin Rolfe, one that had come with countless lessons on self-defense and how to properly use it. The crushing pressure of the fingers that ground around the slim bones of her wrist was a dangerously silent reminder that those very same fingers could easily wrap around her throat and made her sincerely think that she might have use for all those lessons Rolfe had taken pains to teach her. “And it would benefit us both if you would remember to use it.”

Not breaking eye contact, Ravena wrenched her wrist out of his grasp, eyes narrowing and mouth twisting into a frown. “Is that a threat?”

“That is entirely up to you, my lady.”

Weighing pros and cons had always been one of her stronger suits. It had been years since she had last seen Thom Rainier and the man she had encountered in the woods defending people from bandits was different than the man she had spent a night of passion with while in Orlais supporting her findings from a dig she and Henri had just gotten back from. At the time, she had thought Thom Rainier a handsome, if not arrogant man and the fact that he had thought she was similarly attractive and was willing to partake in a bit of mindless fun that didn’t have any strings attached. They’d spent a mutually pleasant evening together and he was gone before she woke up the next morning. To his credit, he hadn’t robbed her any of her belongings while she had been asleep.

It may be her ego talking, but she would have liked to have made enough of an impression on him that he would have actually remembered her name the next time he saw her. The only thing that soothed that initial sting was the fact that he had recognized her, even if he didn’t remember exactly where he knew her face from.

She licked her suddenly dry lips. The man defending the defenseless and teaching them to fight back was also worlds different than the rumors of murder and betrayal that had circulated after his seemingly mysterious disappearance from Orlais. “Mutually beneficial relationships seem to be a thing for us,” she said, tone careful. Almost instantly, the line of his shoulders relaxed and the flinty edge to his eyes seemed to warm. There was still a cautious way he carried himself, but then again, she had that same manner, her body ready to bolt should he make any sudden moves.

“That would appear so.”

“Even if some of us don’t remember that being the case.”

The laugh that she was met with sounded rusty from disuse, but genuine, nonetheless. “If it makes you feel any better, Ravena, I was a bastard back then. I rarely took the time to process names and commit the faces they belonged with to memory.”

“And that’s different now?” Are you a different person was the silent question that burned at the tip of her tongue, but it wasn’t a question she had any right to ask of him. Not yet anyway.

“It is.” She was not a short woman, but he still had to tilt his head and slightly hunch his shoulders to ensure they were at an equal line of sight. “I…I am trying, at least.”

Ah. So her silent question wasn’t quite as silent as she had thought. “That’s all any of us can do,” Ravena replied. “If it makes you feel any better, I guess I can forgive your lapse in memory. Our past encounter was brief.” She gave him a wicked smile. “Almost disappointingly so. Premature, even.”

He made a face, posture relaxing even further at her teasing. “You wound me.”

“A fitting injury to match the blow to my own ego.”

“You know, I could be persuaded to soothe that injury, should you be so inclined.”

Oh. Well this was an entirely different direction for their conversation to take from where it began. “Is that so?” She went back to packing her bag. “And if I was uninterested?”

“Then this would be the last time I brought it up.” He took a step towards her, his voice pitched lower in a way that sent a pleasant shiver down her back. “I may be an asshole when it comes to remembering names, but I can distinctly remember that night.”

Ravena closed her eyes and swayed towards him, so close that the warmth of his body all but sank into her skin. “Once I jogged your memory, you mean.”

“This is going to be a thing with you, isn’t it?”

“I haven’t decided.” She grinned. “Perhaps.”

“Perhaps on always bringing up my past fuck them and forget them tendencies or perhaps on picking up a…mutually beneficial relationship from where we left it?”

Bag packed, she slung it over her shoulder before pressing close to Blackwall’s side. Not giving him any warning, she reached out and grabbed the collar of his gambeson, rising on the tips of her toes to close the short distance between them. It had been some time since she had kissed anyone, let alone this man, but oh. The initial surprise had been sweet, but the answering kiss was even better. Blackwall didn’t wait for any prompting before wrapping his arms around her and hauling her up return her kiss, the press of his mouth against hers almost intoxicating and bringing back several incredibly detailed moments of that night they’d shared so long ago.

She broke the kiss before they got too carried away. While it was tempting to entertain the thought of Blackwall having his way with her there on the nearby table, she was sharing the cabin with Ada and Rolfe, either of the two well within their rights to innocently walk in without thinking to announce their presence.

Ada would have been mortified and run out of the cabin. Rolfe, on the other hand…Ravena was absolutely positive her dearest cousin would have given them a round of applause and some sort of smartassed remark. Ravena loved him dearly and considered Rolfe to be more of a younger brother than a cousin, but she would have had no other choice but to chase him down and kill him for interrupting, so really, stopping before things got too out of hand was for his own safety.

“I’ll let you figure that one out,” she told Blackwall, winking cheekily as she moved past him and towards the door. She gasped when he reached for her wrist again, pulling her back for another quick yet searing kiss.

“I’m a quick study,” he murmured, breath warm against her lips. He moved back only far enough to bring her wrist that was still in his loose grasp to his lips, his mouth moving over the skin there, a silent apology for his earlier mishandling. “Ravena.”

“So I see.” She exited the cabin and held the door open for him. “Shall we? I wouldn’t want to keep Roz waiting.”

“No, we wouldn’t want that.” He held out his arm for her to take as they walked towards the makeshift stables, but she squared her shoulders and walked past him.

“You’re staring at my ass,” she said, not looking behind to confirm.

“It would be rude not to appreciate the view,” he shot back.

She shook her head and kept walking. “Ass.”

The smile on her face remained as they came up to the stables, Roz checking her saddlebags for gear and Rolfe making small talk beside her. Ravena made note of Roz’s worried expression, and she knew that the Herald had good reason to be worried; reports from the Hinterlands were still coming in of pockets of mage and templar skirmishes. While the Inquisition’s agents had made some headway in stabilizing the area, there were still violent flare ups that hopefully would become less and less as fade rifts were sealed and areas secured.

“Everything all right?” Ravena asked, hoping to break the tense silence that Rolfe’s lighthearted yet one-sided conversation hadn’t been able to.

“I guess we’ll find out once we get there,” Roz answered, chewing on her lip. “Are we ready?”

“Ready whenever you are.” Again, Blackwall offered his arm to her as she stood beside her own horse, and this time, Ravena took it. Her branch of the Trevelyan family tree were excellent equestrians, she herself learned how to ride at a very early age, but when an attractive man offered to help her onto a horse, she would have been a fool to let the opportunity pass without taking advantage of it.

Ravena was many things, but a fool wasn’t one of them. It was something that definitely didn’t escape her cousin’s notice either. He didn’t say anything, but the raised eyebrow and smirk he gave her was enough to know that they would be having a conversation once they had a chance for privacy. She sighed and rolled her eyes at Rolfe. It would be easier to tell him the truth; he was a spy by profession and even before his twenty-year tenure with the Chantry, had an uncanny knack for pulling information out of anyone before they even realized they were telling him everything.

Well, almost everything. Ravena glanced at Blackwall, who had elected to ride ahead of them and match his horse’s pace with Roz’s.

Some secrets weren’t hers to tell.

[oldhailvictoria]

Well we called off your guard as we entered the yard

To convince you to redirect some of that rage

Because who fed you rocks while they ate their thanksgiving

And who left you out all alone in their cage

And when you were a pup, well I watched you so close

You ran straight to the distance allowed by his post

You got kicked, you got choked, phrases crept up your spine

When he said "we must keep our bitches in line"

And on his poker nights he says the same of his wife

He's the top dog, pack leader, a true alpha-male

So make no sudden moves, keep your nose from the border

You move fast, you eat last this side of pecking-order

So why don't you come with me?

We've got acres with streams, we won't keep you in cages, make you beg for your treats

We won't tell you to heel, though you might need some time to

Dig up those old bones your young self left behind

You said

"Your offer is nice but here should suffice

Yeah, my younger years were something but that isn't my life

Master is all that I've got

He keeps me having a purpose

Gives me bed, keeps me fed

And I'm just slightly nervous of what I might do

If I were let loose

If I caught that mail car

Or ate garbage for food

So, as I bare all my teeth

I will ask of you please to just leave."

Well your heart has spoken

I feel you're already house broken

Well your heart has spoken

I feel you're already house-

Well I made you a hood ornament for an oncoming car

Because your bark might seem bad but I'll show you the scars

From when the state sent you over to deliver your teeth

To the heels of your kindred breaking chains from their feet

And then you wipe your hands clean, splash of water, paper napkin

While the parrots sing headlines, we wear the leash like a fashion

Try to take out my claws expect a visceral reaction

Try to muzzle me up, I'll lash out, I'll bite back and

Keep my options open

For fear of becoming house-

[petri808]

Sanjou no Ai

click to read from beginning

Bakudeku Au fic, final chapter

For the first few months of their new arrangement, the mated pair settled into a routine of sorts. Almost every night, the okami would return to the Shrine after nightfall and spend it with Izuku, but always left before the sun peaked over the horizon the following morning. It was okay for the time being since now Katsuki could take his time in re-educating the kitsune on the ways of a yokai. And there was so much that Izuku had no clue about. Until now, he only had the scant information left by the previous shrine keeper and the instinctual sides he couldn’t avoid. But even those had not gone without question because he didn’t always understand why he felt the way he felt or did the things he did. For instance, he thought he was ‘born’ to live a life in the shrine, but that wasn’t true at all. The god created them for purposes, such as the okami to protect the wolves and forest, the kitsune too had a similar role. Then at some point when the current shrine was built upon the mountain, the kitsune yokai pledged to help the humans. Generations later left the likes of Izuku in a role he didn’t even know why it existed but performed faithfully… until now.

The information left him semi-torn about his life. Should he continue to honor that treaty and stay at the shrine, or give into his instincts and become a free protector of the forest? It shouldn’t be such a difficult choice, but what brought on the anxiety fell more into could he do it? Could he learn to fend for himself? It was an internal battle that’s been raging from before he and Katsuki mated, but now took center stage. Of course, the okami assured his mate that he wouldn’t be alone. As the alpha it was his responsibility to provide for and protect his omega, especially if the kitsune became pregnant. And besides, Izuku needed to give himself more credit for his strength. Katsuki pointed out how the man had risked his life to save an injured wolf, did that not show how strong or brave he could be when needed? Izuku had no argument against such a statement.

Still, that didn’t calm his mind, if anything, new thoughts would come for Izuku to mill over. Okay fine, maybe he would be okay for himself, but what about with the pups Katsuki mentioned. He’d have to worry about protecting their lives. A family was just another topic he was trying to wrap his brain around. Like first off, they were both canines but not the same species. Again, it was the okami who reminded the kitsune of magic, that they don’t operate under the same laws of nature. Which didn’t really explain much at all, so he simply put it aside instead of continuing the conversation. Next, if they were to desire a family, Izuku definitely would need to leave the shrine. Katsuki wasn’t pressing him over the topic, but maybe it was those omegan features kicking in that made the kitsune think about it. Like some hormonal drive to reproduce because he certainly never felt such instincts before!

One night after another mellow round of love making, they lay there cuddled in Izuku’s bed.

“Kacchan,” the kitsune whispered with hesitation in his tone. “Why haven’t I become pregnant considering how often we do this?”

“Where the hell did this question come from?”

“I know it’s random… but, oh, I don’t know, it’s just something I been wondering about for a few weeks now.”

Katsuki’s turned Izuku around to face him. “If you really must know. I’ve been using magic to sterilize my seed because I know you’re not ready.”

That answer made the kitsune a little irritated. Shouldn’t such a decision be made by both of them, together?! Regardless of if he was ready or not. “That’s not fair.” Izuku pouted.

“Oh, and you saying you are? You know full well you cannot be working here and get pregnant. Look, you should be happy that I’m not pressuring you to leave this place immediately and take your place in my nest where you belong.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Izuku whimpered in toil.

Katsuki was digging down deep not to lose his patience right now, but after months of waiting could anyone blame him? He took a deep breath to control himself from growling. “I know you’re scared of being away from here, but I don’t know how many more ways I can say it, you don’t have to be. I’ll take care of you and our family when we have one. You just need to decide between the shrine and me.”

“Decide right now?”

“No. Now you sleep,” Katsuki bundled the kitsune against his body preferring to end the night for now and deal with it later. “But you will need to do it soon.”

But Izuku was no fool and could sense the irritation in his mate. He could tell Katsuki was just holding back from lashing out. “You’re not mad at me… are you?”

“I’m trying not to be. So, go to sleep.”

Izuku’s voice lowered, quivering in tone. “I know you just picked me because I’m the only yokai around, and I’m okay with that. I’m just sorry I’m so weak.”

That was the last straw. Izuku’s self-defeating aura and sadness was oozing out and pissing him off! Even though the alpha within him felt pained, it wasn’t enough to change Katsuki’s mind. He sat up with teeth partially bared and speaking through a gritted tone. “That’s bullshit! I could’ve left the area and found someone else if I’d wanted to! I told you, I picked you because I liked what I saw. Yeah, you ain’t physically strong like me, but you have your own strength, a kind of strength I’d never possess, and if you can’t recognize that, then… Argh! You need to figure shit out! The okami leapt to his feet. “I’m going home! When you’re ready to make a damn decision. You know where to find me!”

“Kacchan!” Izuku cried out as his mate transformed and bounded out of the dwelling, but it was too late. He’d screwed up big time all because he was such a weak fool! How did Katsuki ever see a strength in him? Where was it? Just look at him, he was small, skinny, and always nervous of making a mistake. His mate was right. He couldn’t see whatever it was that Katsuki saw in him.

Izuku curled up into a ball and pulled the blanket over his body as he wept openly. The omegan part of him was in so much pain… it called out for its mate, cried at the loss… oh, it hurt so much! Kami, it felt like someone had ripped his heart right out of his chest and stomped it into the ground. He’d never felt so much pain before and even though physically there was nothing wrong, his entire body was suffering. It ached, every bone, every fiber of his being a wave of numbness and throbbing all mixed together. This must be the bond, Izuku realized. Until now their bond had given nothing but pleasure and now it burned like the hottest fire from the sun.

“Kacchan…” he whimpered into the silent night air. The darkness consumed him inside and out. What to do… what to do… he needed Katsuki to breathe, to live or a broken bond would surely kill him.

He didn’t know at what point he’d fallen asleep, maybe from pure exhaustion, but the next thing Izuku knew he could see light filtering though the blanket. Morning had arrived and with it an absolutely shocking pain, twice the level of anguish as the night before. His mind was reeling, so fogged over from all the turmoil that he could barely move, barely function. “Kacchan!” He screamed out! Ready or not, it couldn’t go on like this. For all his fears and anxieties, the only thing he knew for certain, bond or not, was he needed Katsuki. He loved Katsuki. And so right then and there Izuku knew what he needed to do. It physically hurt to get up, but Izuku did his best to dress himself and stumble into the shrine. All these months he’d hidden any sign of changes. Now it was time to come clean. He couldn’t stay.

The priests were already up and about doing their daily chores like usual. So, while remaining cordial despite his slow, pained movements, Izuku searched for the elder to speak with. Elder priest Toshinori was a kind and caring man, over 80 years old by Izuku’s estimation and had been at this shrine for close to 60 years. Izuku cared a lot about the elder, like a surrogate grandfather figure who was always ready with wise words and guidance for any seeking it out. But he could tell this man’s younger years were hard and laborious. Though thin and aged now, his sinewy tanned skin and worn hands were a testament to a hard upbringing. Izuku often wondered if this is why Toshinori was wiser than many of the others that had passed through these grounds over the centuries. Many priests came from relatively stable but lower-ranking homes who wouldn’t see such a poor upbringing. This man lived and came with experiences to guide his beliefs in a wiser way.

He found the elder in the sanctum reading.

“Mr. Toshinori.”

“Ah, Izuku,” the man looked up from his book. “I was wondering when you might come to me.”

Izuku sat down in front of the man bowing low. “Mr. Toshinori, I don’t know how to say this properly, but I must leave the shrine.”

“I know, and I understand.”

“Wait, how did you know?!” Izuku sat up straight in confusion. “I-I was sure I’d hidden the okami well.”

Toshinori smiled. “For a time, you did, but I sensed changes in you, positive changes. You hid them well, but a sparkle in your eye as you looked at the forest, at times just a pause in your routine as you were deep in thought, smiling to yourself. I knew something was happening to you and I must say it was nice to see you so happy.”

Tears were gathering in Izuku’s eyes at how understanding the priest was being. The internal struggle slowly lessened inside. “I am,” the smile broke free. “He makes me feel so alive, but I’m torn to leave the shrine and everyone here.”

“Young Izuku, it is natural to leave the nest when it is time. This shrine is all you know, and the world can be a very scary place, but it is also part of life to go out into and find your true meaning.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

“In a way,” the man chuckled. “Your kind has served and protected this shrine well for a long time but at the expense of losing your very nature.”

“But I want to continue protecting this shrine! I love this place! I love this forest!”

The man leaned forward with a serious expression. “Izuku, would it be too impossible to achieve from outside of the shrine?”

Izuku quieted in thought for a moment before responding. “No, I suppose not.”

“Then the answer is you can still protect what you love and be with whom you love at the same time.”

“I… I never thought of it that way…” ‘Like how Katsuki had protected the offerings…’ “I can do that!” Izuku bowed again to the priest. “Thank you, Mr. Toshinori! I promise, I’ll still help at the shrine, but I will live in the forest from now on.”

Toshinori placed a hand on Izuku’s bowed head. “I trust you will, young Izuku. And do bring your family around someday, I’d like to meet them before I die.”

Izuku looked up with a blush. “O-Okay, I will!”

The air rushing past his face felt exhilarating in his kitsune form. It had been a while since he’d used the full fox body, but ever since he’d consciously made the decision to go to Katsuki, all the pain relaxed, and he wanted to find his mate as quickly as possible. Izuku couldn’t explain what this newly realized sense of freedom felt like, all he knew is he felt lighter. It might take some time to get used to it after being on such a regimented schedule all his life, but it was simply amazing.

He rushed straight for Katsuki’s den hoping his mate would be there, sending out his scent ahead as a calling card. Oh, how he wanted to just snuggle into the Okami’s thick beautiful fur! ‘Please be there!’ Izuku crooned and whined as the pull of their bond grew stronger and stronger. Katsuki must be close! His body could sense it, feel it as he arrived at the entrance to the cave. “Kacchan!” Izuku called out. Movement up ahead was picked up quickly by the kitsunes sensitivity’s hearing.

Finally, the large form of a wolf stood at the apex of the cavern and tunnel, and the happy tears Izuku had been holding back broke free. It was his mate. Soothing energy flowed out from the okami and wrapped the kitsune in a welcoming embrace.

Izuku whined and pressed forward into the okami’s welcoming embrace. “Kacchan, I’m home!”

[hidekikitsune]

Coffekinoid | Nell & Hideki

tw: blood, brief mention of self-harm

Location: Coffee Plus

Characters: Nell (@https://nelllraiser.tumblr.com/) & Hideki (@https://hidekikitsune.tumblr.com/)

Summary: What was meant to be a brief battle of the wits morphed into a karkinoid cook-off, the likes of which Coffee Plus shall never witness again. ft. an interesting jacket, an overpriced cardigan, soft boi Hideki, and spicy girl Nell. Oh, and glass. Lots of glass. 

It had been a moment since Penelope has come to a Coffee Plus since it was fairly close to campus, and she didn’t really have a reason to be near the campus in the first place. But sometimes she just really wanted the chocolate muffins they had here in particular, even if their desserts weren’t as popular as their beverages. Nevertheless, she was hunkered down over her muffin and mocha, all too eager to dig in when she saw a familiar face pop into the shop. Damn it, she really should have left her Amphisbaena jacket at home today, especially after it had struck Hideki’s interest the last time he saw it. But with all these karkinoids roaming around and...raining fish- she’d figured it was best to be protected. 

The cold had never bothered Hideki much. What did bother him was the slush that just loved appearing to ruin his favorite shoes after the snow melted a little. He knew he should have just worn his snow boots to work today. He sighed as he tugged the door open to Coffee Plus a little stronger than he needed to. The baristas took one look at him and immediately started making his usual drink - proof that he came far too often. He went through the motions of paying for his drink and making small talk, but didn’t bother to address the feeling that someone was watching him until his americano was solidly in-hand. When he realized it was Penelope staring at him, though, he suddenly felt a surge of energy that could only come from the need to antagonize the poor soul in front of him. “Afternoon, Penelope.” He said her name with an unnecessary amount of entertainment as he slid into the seat across from her without permission. He raised a meticulously groomed eyebrow at the spread in front of her. “I never imagined you’d be one for sweets.” Hideki reached across and plucked the muffin from in front of her, though he took care to keep his fingers on the muffin liner so as not to dirty his fingers with the sweet. “Tell me… how does a girl like you get a jacket like that?”

Nell nearly groaned as Hideki slid into the chair across from her, her eyes narrowing in his direction. Though...it was mostly all in good fun. After all, it was amusing to try and ruffle his feathers in return whenever he decided to make his attempts to prey on her. “Old man, Hideki,” she commented back in as neutral a tone as possible, as if greeting an age old, but respected adversary. “Why not?” she asked, figuring there was no other choice but to take that bait if it was indeed bait. But the moment he took her muffin her eyes bugged out. Normally- she managed to pretend like she wasn’t as bothered by him, but this was crossing a line. Messing with Penelope was one thing, but messing with her food? Unacceptable. “Get your own muffin. That’s a great way to lose a finger,” she said gruffly as she reached across the table to make her attempt to snatch her muffin back. “A girl like me?” she replied indignantly. “What’s that supposed to mean? How’s an old man like you get out of bed every morning to terrorize the youth of this coffee shop? Don’t your bones creak? Nearly break when you force their tired selves out into the world?”

The girl’s ceaseless teasing had always been a bit of a treat for Hideki. He looked to be in his early thirties at the latest, but only he knew he had lived long enough for the average human lifespan already. He chuckled and let her snatch the muffin from his clutch. He rubbed the pads of his fingers with his thumb, trying to remove any remaining crumbs before crossing his arms and resting them on the table, leaning into her onslaught of questions with a perfectly amicable smile. “With such a fiery personality, I always assumed you wouldn’t have much of a sweet tooth,” he admitted with a slight shrug. “But you are absolutely correct, Penelope. My bones nearly break with every step I take in this harsh, cold world. The only warmth and joy I can ever find in my boring old man life is to steal nourishment from youths such as yourselves in this very coffee shop. It’s your own fault, really. You should have known better than to come to my hunting grounds.” 

Obviously Nell knew Hideki couldn’t be much older than Bea at most, but still— it was amusing to make fun of the way he acted like he was an old man in a younger one’s body, saying the strangest things and proving himself time and time again to only have more traits she’d expect of someone much older. But as she regained her muffin she hummed pleasantly, easily placated by the re-acquirement of the little pastry. But her lips pursed in the slightest at the mention of fiery. It seemed her personality was the only part of her family’s legacy she’d inherited. Though she’d made a name for herself without the connecting link to their fire elemental tendencies, it still wasn’t exactly fun to be the odd one out. “Yeah well- human beings are very complex creatures, Hideki,” she said with the element of a tease back in her tone. Despite her attempts to always seem unamused by him, her lips still tilted up at the corners in a small grin. “I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. Maybe you should just spare us all, and stop hunting for the sake of your rapidly decaying body.” But she snickered at the mention of hunting grounds. “Not a very good hunter when you return the food.”

Hideki snorted and leaned back in the seat of the booth, finally letting himself take the first sip of his americano. It had been far too long since he’d last had an adequate amount of caffeine coursing through his veins so it took a shameful amount of self-restraint to keep himself from downing the entire thing in front of… present company. “You have no idea how complex…” he muttered around the rim of his cup, eyes glittering with entertainment. He would always wonder at how rash young humans could be despite how delicate they were. Although, he still questioned what the woman sitting in front of him was. His eyes shamelessly scanned the details of her jacket, his recent obsession. “Well, that’s quite a good proposition to make. Perhaps, since you like bantering so much, you might be inclined to study political science at the local college. Our debate team is quite good from what I hear. I’m sure you’d have a great deal of fun as a lawyer.”

A little frown crossed over Nell’s lips, never sure what Hideki meant when he said such cryptid things. Maybe he was just being weird. Who knew? Nevertheless, she fixed him with a disapproving look as she noticed him focus in on her jacket, and she subconsciously gripped the edges of it, pulling it closer to her body in a somewhat defensive maneuver. How could he know what it was made of? He’d have to be supernatural himself. Or perhaps a Scribe? A Scribe seemed more likely, and much more Hideki’s speed. “Mmm you know it’s funny you mention that. I have considered applying recently.” She dangled the carrot for a moment, wondering if he would bite. “Would you like to know why?”

Hideki couldn’t help but lean forward on his elbows a bit, eager to hear whatever tale the young lady had decided to weave up for him this time. “Oh, please do enlighten me.” He had to resist being sarcastic, just in case she was genuine, even for a single second. That second’s pause was interrupted by the sound of shattering glass. Hideki cursed in Japanese under his breath and dove under the booth table to shield himself. He tugged not-so-gently on Nell’s arm to try and drag her under the makeshift barrier with him. “What in God’s name…?” he hissed, eyes going wide as the tiled restaurant floor echoed with the sound of strange clicks that could be heard around the other patrons’ panicked whispers.

For a moment, Nell felt the smallest bit guilty about possibly teasing Hideki. It really did seem that he was at least partially genuinely excited at the prospect of her going to college. And she didn’t need to disappoint more people in her life. So she hesitated, that pause made longer by the sudden outburst of the broken windows, and a clicking sound she thought was vaguely familiar, but couldn’t quite place. “Hey!” she exclaimed as Hideki tugged her downwards, hiding certainly never being her first instinct when it came to danger. Though...she supposed it was nice of Hideki to think of her. Still, she wasted no time in straightening herself to sneak a peek over the top of the table, a rather passionate curse of, “Fuck, god dammit,” falling from her lips as she recognized the karkinoids. “It’s the kar- the giant lobsters.” Fiddling with her clothes, she pulled out a dagger from who knew where, readying herself to fight. “Uh- just- stay here,” she told Hideki, not wanting him to get hurt.

Hideki felt his hands starting to shake despite his best attempts to keep calm. He was not ready for this. The thought that there were other people - that Nell was there - was a good reminder that he needed to figure out how to handle the situation. At least, that was what he had been telling himself until he realized that Nell had pulled out a dagger. “Woah!” He grabbed her shoulder to stop her, only just then realizing she had almost said the word ‘karkinoid’. “What the hell are you doing?” He hissed, cautiously leaning his head around the booth. “There’s… at least six of those…” He paused, scanning her expression and only found reassurance that she knew exactly what she was doing, so he resigned himself to slipping out of his guise. “There’s six karkinoids. Whatever experience you may have, you’ll need some back up.” 

Nell frowned at being pulled back by Hideki, though she should be very used to people holding her back when she was constantly attempting to dive head first into situations. “I’m gonna kick their ass!” she said restlessly, annoyance coloring her words that she was having to wait to make sure these little shits didn’t hurt anyone in the shop. But then he uttered the word karkinoid, the very one she’d done her best not to say, and she the small suspicions she’d had were at least somewhat confirmed. Unless...Hideki was simply very into the mythology he was responsible for teaching. But he didn’t seem unfazed that apparent mythology could come to life. Her pride made her say, “You don’t know how capable I am or not.” But now wasn’t the time for pride. “The longer I wait, the more likely people are going to get hurt! So unless you have a bazooka hiding under that cardigan-” She let her words cut off, her impatient look cutting into him.

The kitsune sighed as she argued with him. Though, she was right; he had no idea what she was. For all he knew, she was a 600 year-old-vampire who just liked acting like an absolute child at the most inopportune moments… He doubted it. Hideki grumbled under his breath as he pulled off the aforementioned cardigan to protect it; it was $300 dollars. And really soft. “Alright, kid. Let’s see what you can do.” He tossed a smile her way and slid out from beneath the table, just in time to see a karkinoid descending on one of the baristas who’d been brave enough to try to fight them off with a broom. With a flick of his wrist, a carefully aimed burst of fire engulfed the creature. Thank God the windows were broken, though. The stench...

Nell’s impatience turned momentarily to confusion as she watched him take the cardigan off. What the fuck was he doing? But her confusion quickly turned to intrigue as he seemingly put out a challenge. He was...encouraging her now? The surprise one her face only grew as she watched him throw himself into the battle, and fire sprouted from his hand in a similar fashion to the methods her family of fire elementals had used all their lives. But...she didn’t feel any magic in the air as he did it. Nevertheless, she let out a delighted bark of a laugh as he torched the karkinoid, her hands flying straight into the air in triumphant fists. “Haha! Yes, old man! Yes!!” And then she wasted no more time in launching herself into the fray, grabbing the brave barista by the arm, tossing her towards the door, and telling her to “Get the hell out of here!” And then relaying it to anyone else who was in the shop by yelling it over the mess of a shop. In another moment, she was jumping onto the counter, overlooking the field as the karkinoids went in search of whatever food they were trying to find. Picking the first overgrown lobster she saw, she dove from the top of the counter onto it’s back, quickly pinning it’s fatal claws to the floor as she grabbed one of it’s legs nearest it’s middle and yanked it off. “Hideki, I got us dinner!” she yelled after tossing the leg aside. Then she promptly drove her knife into the weak spot she’d created, and the thing’s struggles began to wan. 

Hideki rolled his eyes at her encouragement, but was unable to deny the genuine smile that was creeping onto his face. It had been a long time since he’d felt so excited. Hideki was quick to spring to action though as patrons began flooding out of their hiding spaces to run. “Go through the backdoor! Quick!” He shouted, holding open the kitchen door as he ushered everyone to safety. When he turned around to see Nell practically tackle a Karkinoid, it was all he could do to keep from laughing. “Dinner, you say?” He caught the leg and set it ablaze. “Seems as though we’ll be having fire roasted lobster tonight.” He chuckled, but only then realized his mistake in getting distracted. A Karkinoid was coming to the aid of its friend and was dangerously close to Nell. Fearing he might burn her if he were to use his fire, he quickly unbuttoned his pants and shifted. With a vicious snarl, the kitsune tackled the bottom feeder, fangs ripping deep into its exoskeleton.

Another bright laugh fell from her as he ‘prepared’ their dinner, and she finished off her first karkinoid, driving the knife into the weak bit of flesh she’d created again and again. “I’ll have to pick up some butter on the way home.” The hair on the back of her neck suddenly stood on end, battle instinct kicking in as she whipped her head around and saw another karkinoid coming her way. Magic gathered at her fingertips as she got ready to blast it into oblivion, but instead out of the corner of her eye she saw Hideki...taking off his pants? What the fuck. But it all became clear as he shifted, and she barely even blinked as he took out the karkinoid. “Are you shitting me?! A fucking kitsune?!” It was a mix of shock and excitement. She’d met a few of them when she’d been travelling in Japan during her five-year-long attempt to see the world and all it had to hold. “You’ve been holding out on me, jerk!” Then she joked once more in the midst of battle. “Also rude of you to take the one I wanted.” Speaking of ones she wanted it seemed that the rest of the karkinoids were quickly pegging Nell and Hideki as the threats to be most worried about at the moment, and were gathering their forces as the advanced on the pair. In a flash, she’d run her knife down the side of her arm, letting that glorious river of red blood run free as she felt its power flow through her veins, and she dropped it onto a bit of glass on the floor. In another moment, the glass that had shattered in perfectly sharpened bits began to hover in place. Normally, they wouldn’t be enough to make a karkinoid flinch, but if she summoned them to her all in conjunction, and with a lot of muscle behind them. Well...they’d see whether it worked or not. The only problem was at the center of this circle was Nell and Hideki. “When I say jump- jump. After three.” Then she began the countdown. “1...2…3...Jump!” The glass shot inwards as her feet left the ground, doing its best to imaple anything that was in its path.

Hideki only rolled his eyes as the woman cursed at him. Well, at the very least she seemed to know her stuff. At this point he’d believe she was a hunter with the way that she handled that dagger… which was a terrifying thought he didn’t dare to think that much harder on; the massive lobster in his mouth did not want to die. He was forced to let go of the creature as a massive claw clamped down where he had been standing on it just a second ago. Instead, he took a few paces back as the side of it that was the furthest from Nell burst into flames. Just in time for him to see her rip into her own arm. He let out at alarmed yip and ran towards her. Had the girl lost her mind? Things were dire, but not that dire! He was about to try and pull the dagger from her when he realized the glass was floating. Magic? Well… he had asked to see what she could do. Still, his ears pressed nervously to the back of his head as he circled anxiously, waiting on her count. On her command, he leaped, delicately tucking his tail to avoid any injury as the glass rushed forward. All he knew was that he did not want to be those karkinoids at the moment. 

Generally, Nell wouldn’t have resorted to magic if she could help it when in public, and in front of a man she didn’t know all that well— but he’d shown his so it didn’t seem all that bad to show her’s. Besides, she knew he wasn’t a witch hunter...right? She’d never heard of a shifter being a witch-hunter. Well- it was too late now. This was much faster than dispatching them individually, anyway. She jumped on her own command along with Hideki, and the glass pieces impaled anything in their path, driving deep into the karkinoids. Her feet touched ground once more as the pieces of glass came to settle, the ones that hadn’t come into contact with anything crunching under her shoes. The karkinoids had been considerably slowed, some of them dead in their tracks, though a couple still managed to crawl towards her and Hideki. “One last one for you, and one for me?” she asked, a blood-thirsty grin on her face as she looked at the carnage of the overgrown lobsters they’d wrought, and delicious adrenaline pumped through her veins. 

Hideki landed delicately on his feet, doing his best to ignore the small shards of glass piercing his paws. The small pads on his feet had grown rough from long summer adventures in the mountains where he’d grown up in, but glass was a new sensation that he didn’t ever want to experience again. Still, there were karkinoids to be grilled. He let out a tiny huff in response to her proposition. He took a step forward as though to launch himself at the remaining karkinoid he’d chosen, but let out a small whine as more glass stood in his way. He growled in indignation and set the whole damn creature on fire - perhaps a bit hotter than he’d intended. Still, the sound of sizzling karkinoid was confirmation enough that his part of the job was accomplished.

It took a moment for Nell to realize what was desparinging Hideki, but a little flash of guilt ran through her as she realized the problem. His paws. Sure, she had shoes to protect her feet, but he was working with just the skin of his feet. But it had occurred to her too late, and he was already dispatching his karkinoid, glass be damned. Meanwhile, she approached her own opponent. It had a couple shards of glass sticking out of its shell, but still seemed determined to fight until its last breath. Or at least...get to whatever food it had come here for to begin with. It was easy enough to dispatch the thing, and she did so by magicking one of the heavy looking trash cans over to it, before unceremoniously dropping it on top of the overgrown lobster with a loud crunch. “Well...I guess we can’t eat that one.” Finally- there was silence in the shop, and she remembered Hideki’s dilemma. “Are your um- feet alright? Sorry.”

Hideki jumped a little as the sound of the trash can landing on the karkinoid echoed around the once packed coffee shop. He sighed as he picked his way through the glass and back towards his discarded pants. He dragged them behind the counter, where he could shift without ‘injuring her delicate nature’. He slid his pants on with a quiet grunt, ignoring his bare chest for the time being as he pulled himself onto the coffee counter to examine his feet. “It’s alright. Considering how dangerous karkinoids can be, a little glass means nothing.” He tried to give her a reassuring smile but was keenly aware of the blood dripping from his hands and feet. “Do you ah… Would you please get me some paper towels? And a first aid kit? They must have one here somewhere.”

Nell was going to tell him to stay put, and to just let her clear the glass before he went wading through it, but it seemed she was too late as he disappeared behind the counter, and for a moment there was confusion on her face. Was he....hiding? But his emergence along with the pants made it easy enough to put two and two together. Still- perhaps it would have been better if she hadn’t been staring when he came out from where he’d gone. She might call him old man but...lack of shirt considered— Hideki was decidedly...not old. In a moment she looked away, a bit embarrassed simply because she felt intrusive when he obviously hadn’t meant to end up shirtless in a coffee shop. But her frown came back once more when he answered her, and she didn’t hesitate to step closer, holding out an open and upturned palm that was demanding his hand. “Let me see. I’m not the best healer, but I can get by usually. At least make it stop bleeding and keep you from dying of infection.”

The Kitsune blinked at her outstretched hand. He supposed after what they’d just been through, a little truce was more than due. He placed his hand in hers, allowing her to examine at will with a soft smile on his face. “That is… a relief. Most of my family were healers. It had become a bit of a tradition, so everyone was rather surprised when I was useless when it came to injuries. The fire comes in handy though.” He chuckled a little and nodded towards the burnt husks of the karkinoids. He was silent a moment as he deliberated. “Penelope… What was that back there?”

Nell knew that this was a bit...out of the ordinary for them, and it was rather strange to think that not fifteen minutes ago she’d just thought of Hideki as some stuffy, college professor who lived to shame her about college and steal her muffins. But her brow furrowed as she worked, not in the nature of letting people suffer around her unless they deserved it as her small hands traced the air above his injuries. It was true what she’d said about healing, and her work was slow as she did her best to patch up his hands. Though at the same time...blood injuries had always behaved well for her, it being easier for her to will the red droplets to cease, and bring those platelets together to scab over. The part that consisted of turning those scabs into new flesh was where she often ran into trouble. She couldn’t help but pick up on his phrasing, and asked before she could think not to. “Were healers?” Nevertheless, the corner of her mouth turned upwards, certainly being able to relate to not holding up family traditions. “My family’s just the opposite. A bunch of fire elementals and I can’t even make a puff of smoke.” She looked up from her paused work when she heard her name, even if she was still a little thrown that he tended to use her full one. “What was...what? The karkinoids? You said their name?” He’d known what they were, hadn’t he?

Well, Hideki had always admired Nell for her quick wit, though this was one of the few times he wished she hadn’t caught on so easily to his slipping up. He continued to stare at her hands as she worked - it was a good distraction from the memories and emotions bubbling up. “Were healers,” was his simple response. He hoped that was enough to satisfy her and, thankfully, her slight joke was quick to bring his smile back, even if it was only a small one. “No, not the karkinoids. Your abilities. I hate to assume things, but you are quite skilled and most certainly not a regular human. Call it… an old man’s curiosity.”

For the moment, it seemed that Nell had forgotten her own arm that she’d cut open during the fight for her magical purposes, rather intent on fixing Hideki. Besides, she was used to parts of her bleeding, and as far as injuries went it wasn’t that bad. But Nell knew a dismissal when she heard one, or rather— the shutting of a book Hideki didn’t necessarily want her reading when it came to his family. She was curious, but she wouldn't pry at the moment. It was probably easier, anyway. Nell didn’t think she was particularly good at helping people sort through emotions. “Oh-” Despite herself, her pride granted her a bit of a smile as he called her skilled, and that grin widened as he took it upon himself to claim his ‘old man’ title. “I’m a witch,” she shrugged, as if it was everyday news. “A spellcaster, if that’s easier for an old man to grasp. And you’re...a kitsune?”

“A witch?” Hideki echoed, gears turning in his mind. That made the most sense, but he was admittedly still wary of her. What kind of witch had knife skills like that? And blood magic? Clearly, its healing abilities had done him some good, but, as far as he understood it, blood magic was generally… disapproved of. He’d need to do more research on the subject to be sure. Most concerning of all, was that he wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t a hunter. He did his best to keep his face calm as he weighed his options but mainly kept his gaze downcast. “A+, little witch,” the subtle insult made him chuckle as he finally met her eyes, his own glittering mischievously. “I am what is known as a Kasai - or Fire - Kitsune.” His Japanese accent slipped a little as the words from his native tongue rolled past his lips. 

Nell wasn’t sure what to make of his tone, feeling like something was shifting back into the territory they normally inhabited of tit for tat, and sizing one another up. Perhaps their momentary little truce was over? “Yep,” she simply said, confused what other answer he might be looking for. “Black cat and all. Pointy little hat for sure.” Well...the black cat comment wasn’t entirely wrong. And then she was back to her impassioned outbursts as he hit just the right button. “Well we can’t all be freakish giants!” But then she was coming down a little once more. “And your A+ isn’t going to get me to enroll.” Kasai, she knew she’d heard the word before when she’d been talking with her kitsune friends she’d met in Japan, but she hadn’t stayed long enough to know all the types of kitsune and their names. “Funnily enough- I might have guessed the fire bit from the whole barbecue shrimp act. At least we’ll eat well tonight, right?” She’d finished with his hands, and pointed to a nearby counter, indicating he should sit on it. “Alright, feet.”

Getting the desired rise out of her made him laugh. It wasn’t his fault he was over a foot taller than her. Hideki shrugged his shoulders as she refused to enroll yet again. “Perhaps one day you will change your mind and prove to the rest of the professors that you could be a fantastic student.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, knowing full well how ‘cringey’ it may be. His students taught him that word the other day. He nodded, in agreement and slowly shifted a long leg up on the counter so she could have better access. “We might as well open up a seafood restaurant. A one night, lobster-only buffet. It could be quite profitable if we play our cards right.”

Nell’s nose scrunched in her disapproval as she pushed out a hand to shove him lightly in the shoulder. “Stop laughing! Short is normal!” But her face quickly shifted to entirely nonplussed, looking mildly concerned and perhaps disturbed at such movement of his eyebrows. “What was that?” But then her next reaction was to laugh a bit. “That was terrifying. You should have done that at the karkinoids!” Her amusement was kindled by talk of a restaurant as she bent a bit to begin work on his feet. “One-night while supplies last. We could be rich. We’ve already got the place and the health code...grade thingy,” she finished while pointing towards the window where the paper was posted. 

“Oh yes, I’m quite certain my eyebrows would have stopped the karkinoids in their tracks,” Hideki mused, as he leaned back a bit, examining their surroundings. “I suppose… we really should donate any profits to the owners, though,” he said with a soft sigh. “I do hope the repairs to this building don’t take too terribly long.” Hideki’s apartment was only two blocks away and he stopped into Coffee Plus on his walks to school each morning. He knew he was fully capable of making his own coffee, but the mere thought of such inconvenience. Which reminded him… “Whatever happened to your muffin?”

“You never know. Have you tried it?” As he leaned back her gaze shifted upwards for a moment to make sure he wasn’t falling or something, and she was once again reminded of his lack of shirt. In a moment, she was floating his discarded cardigan towards them, it landing just beside him on the counter. “Yeah...probably. This kind of thing isn’t exactly uncommon here, though- you know?” Now that she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t the faintest idea how long Hideki had lived in White Crest. “Are you upset for the owner, or your loss of coffee?” she teased. But at the very mention of her muffin, her eyes widened in the slightest, her lips uttering a mournful cry of, “My muffin.” She didn’t spare a second to summon that too, though her pout only strengthened as it came into view. It was in miserable shape, and was there a....bit of karkinoid shell sticking out of it? “My muffin,” she repeated again, this time it being more of an acceptance of the poor thing’s fate. “I guess...would you like a bit of it now? I might be able to share.”

Any kind of response was lost on him as his precious cardigan came floating into view. Sure, he was rather accustomed to magic considering his upbringing, but making things float was not something his family members were generally capable of. He watched like a fascinated child until it finally came to land beside him. “Thank you,” he muttered as he pulled his sweater back on. Hideki purposefully refused to answer her question, though; he was definitely only upset about the coffee, but he wasn’t about to genuinely admit that. The muffin floating still surprised him and he watched as she examined it. “Share?” Bewildered, he stared at her for a moment before laughing. “No, I think we should leave it as inspiration for our dessert menu instead.” With his hands and feet nearly cared for, he finally stopped joking around and leaned forward. “However, I think we should focus our priorities on your arm instead of our faux restaurant. Are you… able to heal yourself? Would you like me to fetch you some bandages?”

Nell watched with some amusement as he seemed to be all too eager to have his cardigan back, though she did not more than shrug in response to his thanks. A small, non-verbal motion that simply meant ‘don’t mention it’. But she also wasn’t going to let him get away that easy with avoiding her teasing question. “Hmm, your silence is awfully telling. Don’t you think?” She wouldn’t judge though. At least not right now. Her own chuckle peppered through the air as he seemed mystified by the muffin. “Oh- come on. I’m being so generous, and this is the thanks I get?” As he shifted his posture, again she looked up, surprised to find that he was closer than before. “I- what?” Oh her arm. “Oh, don’t worry about it. It kinda comes with the territory.” Nevertheless, this time a small pile of bandages appeared from seemingly thin air on the counter, Nell having magicked them here from home. Suddenly, she was hit with a small wave of fatigue. Perhaps she’d done one too many spells in quick succession after the glass stunt, but she brushed it off. After all, healing generally took more out of her than other magics. “I’ll just put them on in a bit. Magical healing isn’t always as prudent for me.” She’d healed her sacrificial wounds before, the ones she made in exchange for power, but sometimes doing so had...unexpected consequences. It seemed that something in magic didn’t always approve of healing something that was meant to be freely given in exchange for power so quickly. Perhaps it felt cheated. “Thank you, though,” she said, remembering her manners at the last moment. After all, it was nice of him to ask.

“When you get to be my age, you learn quickly where your loyalties lie. Mine just so happen to belong to a caffeine addiction,” Hideki finally admitted with a quiet but knowing laugh. Nell was right in that things like this just… happened in White Crest. He’d been there about a year and a half and had learned that lesson quite quickly. The sudden appearance of the bandages on the counter startled him, making him jump. He scrutinized them as though they might come alive, and then he scrutinized her calm demeanor. She wasn’t acting as though anything were out of place… so it must’ve been her doing. He relaxed and turned his gaze to his palms, where he experimentally made a fist. The scabbing would restrict a bit of his movements, but he figured his fine motor skills weren’t too impaired. “Come now, little witch. No need to be stubborn over a simple fix.” He leaned forward - proving himself to be quite flexible - as he gently took her by the elbow of the injured arm and led her towards him for better access. He examined the gash and plucked the bandages off the counter. “I may not have the magical ability to heal, but I’ve cleaned my fair share of wounds.”

Nell’s head tilted to the side, realizing that along with him being a kitsune, she really didn’t know how old he was. “Are you admitting to being an old man, in the same breath as being willing to do anything for coffee?” She was teasing, but also genuinely curious about an answer to her first question. Trying to remember back to the rush of the fight...she couldn’t recall staring at any tails he may or may not have, but she didn’t think there’d been a plethora. Nell shouldn’t have been amused by startling him with the bandages, but another small grin slipped over her lips nonetheless. She’d have to warn him next time. “How’s it feel?” she asked, craning her head a bit to try and get a look at his hands. Be careful though, I don’t want you to open up the scabs.” She grumbled a bit over her apparent new nickname that he’d settled on. Apparently he was determined to make it stick. But her barbs were lowered for a moment when she realized what he was doing, and let herself be brought closer. Still, she was uncertain, mind still decently confused about how they’d gotten from swiping muffins to this. “I- um- alright.” Perhaps the first time she hadn’t fought him on something. “Thanks.”

Hideki made a soft humming sound as he contemplated his answer. “By human standards, I am very much an ‘old man’, but, in the eyes of the ancient ones, I am still a baby.” He winked knowingly and set about the task of cleaning and bandaging up her arm. His touch was gentle, but a bit clumsy with how he couldn’t fully bend his fingers. It didn’t help that his hands were shaking again. He frowned as he realized he hadn’t eaten anything… again. When was his last meal? He’d had… a bowl of rice for dinner two nights ago? No wonder. His brow furrowed as he concentrated, willing his muscles to comply until he could scavenge something up. “They’re a little stiff, but I should be just fine, thank you.” Despite his shaking fingers, he tied off the bandages with a practiced ease. With his immediate concern appropriately addressed, he finally noticed the scarring that undoubtedly came from her magic. He made a mental note but decided it would be best if he simply… didn’t ask. “Now then… I vote we find my shoes and get out of here,” he muttered as he wiggled his feet, testing their new flexibility too.

Nell let out a hum of amusement before she simply said, “Baby, old man,” still having no qualms with poking some fun at him. “That explains a decent amount, though.” Like why he literally sounded like he’d come out of a different century at times. But she stilled as he went about his work, watching curiously as he did what he promised. She couldn’t...entirely remember the last time she’d let someone help this way. It seemed different than letting the healers at the Ring heal her, and she didn’t even always let them do their work. Her frown joined his as she watched his hands tremor, and she didn’t waste time to ask, “You’re sure you’re alright?” Yes, shoes would be a good idea. Despite her wave of fatigue earlier, she didn’t hesitate to call the shoes to them, as she was fairly certain she could at least handle this one other thing for the moment. “Should we see if it fits, Cinderella?” she asked, presenting them to him. 

The Kitsune only nodded in response to her question, not wanting to have her worry over him. While he undoubtedly enjoyed her presence, there were some things he still needed to work out about her - such as whether or not she might be a genuine threat. He was slowly getting accustomed to things just floating towards him, but it didn’t stop his eyes from going wide as he watched. “Ah yes, my good prince. Let us see,” he laughed and held up his foot, but the laughter died in his throat as the sound of distant sirens started getting closer. Hideki paled as he looked around the destroyed coffee shop. Of course, the police would be on their way. His eyes met Nell’s for a beat and he opened his mouth, but the words refused to come out. All he could communicate was panic. He snatched the shoes and slid across the counter, bolting through the kitchen door and out of the emergency exit as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn’t even bother to pull his hair from his face as he sprinted down the block, completely bypassing his apartment and heading for the woods. For familiar territory. For safety. 

Hm. Nell wasn’t sure how satisfied she was with his nod, but she’d have to take it for now. They needed to get out of this mess. She laughed before leaning over to help him get his shoes on, but it seemed she wouldn’t get the chance to see if the slipper fit. In another moment, she’d heard the sirens as well, and cursed lightly. “Shit.” She doubted the police would blame them for this, but you never knew who might become the scapegoat in a town such as White Crest. But Hideki’s panic held her captive for a moment, making her want to reach out and take the reins when it came to getting out of this. No sooner had she thought such a thing was he bolting for the door in a way that only raised more questions for her. Nell ran after him for a moment, but didn’t get all that far from the shop before she stumbled onto the pavement her shaky legs giving out for a moment as the cost of her magic left her less coordinated than usual. And by the time she looked up he was long gone, nothing but a single shoe left in his wake.

[nelllraiser]

coffeekinoid | hideki + nell

LOCATION: coffee plus. PARTIES INVOLVED: @hidekikitsune and @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: hideki and nell decide to go in on a seafood restaurant together that serves fresh-killed karkinoids.

It had been a moment since Penelope had come to a Coffee Plus. Since it was fairly close to campus, she didn’t really have a reason to be near the campus in the first place. But sometimes she just really wanted the chocolate muffins they had here in particular, even if their desserts weren’t as popular as their beverages. Nevertheless, she was hunkered down over her muffin and mocha, all too eager to dig in when she saw a familiar face pop into the shop. Damn it, she really should have left her Amphisbaena jacket at home today, especially after it had struck Hideki’s interest the last time he saw it. But with all these karkinoids roaming around and...raining fish- she’d figured it was best to be protected. 

The cold had never bothered Hideki much. What did bother him was the slush that just loved appearing to ruin his favorite shoes after the snow melted a little. He knew he should have just worn his snow boots to work today. He sighed as he tugged the door open to Coffee Plus a little stronger than he needed to. The baristas took one look at him and immediately started making his usual drink - proof that he came far too often. He went through the motions of paying for his drink and making small talk, but didn’t bother to address the feeling that someone was watching him until his americano was solidly in-hand. When he realized it was Penelope staring at him, though, he suddenly felt a surge of energy that could only come from the need to antagonize the poor soul in front of him. “Afternoon, Penelope.” He said her name with an unnecessary amount of entertainment as he slid into the seat across from her without permission. He raised a meticulously groomed eyebrow at the spread in front of her. “I never imagined you’d be one for sweets.” Hideki reached across and plucked the muffin from in front of her, though he took care to keep his fingers on the muffin liner so as not to dirty his fingers with the sweet. “Tell me… how does a girl like you get a jacket like that?”

Nell nearly groaned as Hideki slid into the chair across from her, her eyes narrowing in his direction. Though...it was mostly all in good fun. After all, it was amusing to try and ruffle his feathers in return whenever he decided to make his attempts to prey on her. “Old man, Hideki,” she commented back in as neutral a tone as possible, as if greeting an age old, but respected adversary. “Why not?” she asked, figuring there was no other choice but to take that bait if it was indeed bait. But the moment he took her muffin her eyes bugged out. Normally- she managed to pretend like she wasn’t as bothered by him, but this was crossing a line. Messing with Penelope was one thing, but messing with her food? Unacceptable. “Get your own muffin. That’s a great way to lose a finger,” she said gruffly as she reached across the table to make her attempt to snatch her muffin back. “A girl like me?” she replied indignantly. “What’s that supposed to mean? How’s an old man like you get out of bed every morning to terrorize the youth of this coffee shop? Don’t your bones creak? Nearly break when you force their tired selves out into the world?”

The girl’s ceaseless teasing had always been a bit of a treat for Hideki. He looked to be in his early thirties at the latest, but only he knew he had lived long enough for the average human lifespan already. He chuckled and let her snatch the muffin from his clutch. He rubbed the pads of his fingers with his thumb, trying to remove any remaining crumbs before crossing his arms and resting them on the table, leaning into her onslaught of questions with a perfectly amicable smile. “With such a fiery personality, I always assumed you wouldn’t have much of a sweet tooth,” he admitted with a slight shrug. “But you are absolutely correct, Penelope. My bones nearly break with every step I take in this harsh, cold world. The only warmth and joy I can ever find in my boring old man life is to steal nourishment from youths such as yourselves in this very coffee shop. It’s your own fault, really. You should have known better than to come to my hunting grounds.” 

Obviously Nell knew Hideki couldn’t be much older than Bea at most, but still— it was amusing to make fun of the way he acted like he was an old man in a younger one’s body, saying the strangest things and proving himself time and time again to only have more traits she’d expect of someone much older. But as she regained her muffin she hummed pleasantly, easily placated by the re-acquirement of the little pastry. But her lips pursed in the slightest at the mention of fiery. It seemed her personality was the only part of her family’s legacy she’d inherited. Though she’d made a name for herself without the connecting link to their fire elemental tendencies, it still wasn’t exactly fun to be the odd one out. “Yeah well- human beings are very complex creatures, Hideki,” she said with the element of a tease back in her tone. Despite her attempts to always seem unamused by him, her lips still tilted up at the corners in a small grin. “I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. Maybe you should just spare us all, and stop hunting for the sake of your rapidly decaying body.” But she snickered at the mention of hunting grounds. “Not a very good hunter when you return the food.”

Hideki snorted and leaned back in the seat of the booth, finally letting himself take the first sip of his americano. It had been far too long since he’d last had an adequate amount of caffeine coursing through his veins so it took a shameful amount of self restraint to keep himself from downing the entire thing in front of… present company. “You have no idea how complex…” he muttered around the rim of his cup, eyes glittering with entertainment. He would always wonder at how rash young humans could be despite how delicate they were. Although, he still questioned what the woman sitting in front of him was. His eyes shamelessly scanned the details of her jacket, his recent obsession. “Well, that’s quite a good proposition to make. Perhaps, since you like bantering so much, you might be inclined to study political science at the local college. Our debate team is quite good from what I hear. I’m sure you’d have a great deal of fun as a lawyer.”

A little frown crossed over Nell’s lips, never sure what Hideki meant when he said such cryptid things. Maybe he was just being weird. Who knew? Nevertheless, she fixed him with a disapproving look as she noticed him focus in on her jacket, and she subconsciously gripped the edges of it, pulling it closer to her body in a somewhat defensive maneuver. How could he know what it was made of? He’d have to be supernatural himself. Or perhaps a Scribe? A Scribe seemed more likely, and much more Hideki’s speed. “Mmm you know it’s funny you mention that. I have considered applying recently.” She dangled the carrot for a moment, wondering if he would bite. “Would you like to know why?”

Hideki couldn’t help but lean forward on his elbows a bit, eager to hear whatever tale the young lady had decided to weave up for him this time. “Oh, please do enlighten me.” He had to resist being sarcastic, just in case she was genuine, even for a single second. That second’s pause was interrupted by the sound of shattering glass. Hideki cursed in Japanese under his breath and dove under the booth table to shield himself. He tugged not-so-gently on Nell’s arm to try and drag her under the makeshift barrier with him. “What in God’s name…?” he hissed, eyes going wide as the tiled restaurant floor echoed with the sound of strange clicks that could be heard around the other patrons’ panicked whispers.

For a moment, Nell felt the smallest bit guilty about possibly teasing Hideki. It really did seem that he was at least partially genuinely excited at the prospect of her going to college. And she didn’t need to disappoint more people in her life. So she hesitated, that pause made longer by the sudden outburst of the broken windows, and a clicking sound she thought was vaguely familiar, but couldn’t quite place. “Hey!” she exclaimed as Hideki tugged her downwards, hiding certainly never being her first instinct when it came to danger. Though...she supposed it was nice of Hideki to think of her. Still, she wasted no time in straightening herself to sneak a peek over the top of the table, a rather passionate curse of, “Fuck, god dammit,” falling from her lips as she recognized the karkinoids. “It’s the kar- the giant lobsters.” Fiddling with her clothes, she pulled out a dagger from who knew where, readying herself to fight. “Uh- just- stay here,” she told Hideki, not wanting him to get hurt.

Hideki felt his hands starting to shake despite his best attempts to keep calm. He was not ready for this. The thought that there were other people - that Nell was there - was a good reminder that he needed to figure out how to handle the situation. At least, that was what he had been telling himself until he realized that Nell had pulled out a dagger. “Woah!” He grabbed her shoulder to stop her, only just then realizing she had almost said the word ‘karkinoid’. “What the hell are you doing?” He hissed, cautiously leaning his head around the booth. “There’s… at least six of those…” He paused, scanning her expression and only found reassurance that she knew exactly what she was doing, so he resigned himself to slipping out of his guise. “There’s six karkinoids. Whatever experience you may have, you’ll need some back up.” 

Nell frowned at being pulled back by Hideki, though she should be very used to people holding her back when she was constantly attempting to dive head first into situations. “I’m gonna kick their ass!” she said restlessly, annoyance coloring her words that she was having to wait to make sure these little shits didn’t hurt anyone in the shop. But then he uttered the word karkinoid, the very one she’d done her best not to say, and the small suspicions she’d had were at least somewhat confirmed. Unless...Hideki was simply very into the mythology he was responsible for teaching. But he didn’t seem unfazed that apparent mythology could come to life. Her pride made her say, “You don’t know how capable I am or not.” But now wasn’t the time for pride. “The longer I wait, the more likely people are going to get hurt! So unless you have a bazooka hiding under that cardigan-” She let her words cut off, her impatient look cutting into him.

The kitsune sighed as she argued with him. Though, she was right; he had no idea what she was. For all he knew, she was a 600 year-old-vampire who just liked acting like an absolute child at the most inopportune moments… He doubted it. Hideki grumbled under his breath as he pulled off the aforementioned cardigan to protect it; it was $300 dollars. And really soft. “Alright, kid. Let’s see what you can do.” He tossed a smile her way and slid out from beneath the table, just in time to see a karkinoid descending on one of the baristas who’d been brave enough to try to fight them off with a broom. With a flick of his wrist, a carefully aimed burst of fire engulfed the creature. Thank God the windows were broken, though. The stench...

Nell’s impatience turned momentarily to confusion as she watched him take the cardigan off. What the fuck was he doing? But her confusion quickly turned to intrigue as he seemingly put out a challenge. He was...encouraging her now? The surprise on her face only grew as she watched him throw himself into the battle, and fire sprouted from his hand in a similar fashion to the methods her family of fire elementals had used all their lives. But...she didn’t feel any magic in the air as he did it. Nevertheless, she let out a delighted bark of a laugh as he torched the karkinoid, her hands flying straight into the air in triumphant fists. “Haha! Yes, old man! Yes!!” And then she wasted no more time in launching herself into the fray, grabbing the brave barista by the arm, tossing her towards the door, and telling her to “Get the hell out of here!” And then relaying it to anyone else who was in the shop by yelling it over the mess of a shop. In another moment, she was jumping onto the counter, overlooking the field as the karkinoids went in search of whatever food they were trying to find. Picking the first overgrown lobster she saw, she dove from the top of the counter onto it’s back, quickly pinning it’s fatal claws to the floor as she grabbed one of it’s legs nearest it’s middle and yanked it off. “Hideki, I got us dinner!” she yelled after tossing the leg aside. Then she promptly drove her knife into the weak spot she’d created, and the thing’s struggles began to wan. 

Hideki rolled his eyes at her encouragement, but was unable to deny the genuine smile that was creeping onto his face. It had been a long time since he’d felt so excited. Hideki was quick to spring to action though as patrons began flooding out of their hiding spaces to run. “Go through the backdoor! Quick!” He shouted, holding open the kitchen door as he ushered everyone to safety. When he turned around to see Nell practically tackle a Karkinoid, it was all he could do to keep from laughing. “Dinner, you say?” He caught the leg and set it ablaze. “Seems as though we’ll be having fire roasted lobster tonight.” He chuckled, but only then realized his mistake in getting distracted. A Karkinoid was coming to the aid of its friend and was dangerously close to Nell. Fearing he might burn her if he were to use his fire, he quickly unbuttoned his pants and shifted. With a vicious snarl, the kitsune tackled the bottom feeder, fangs ripping deep into its exoskeleton.

Another bright laugh fell from her as he ‘prepared’ their dinner, and she finished off her first karkinoid, driving the knife into the weak bit of flesh she’d created again and again. “I’ll have to pick up some butter on the way home.” The hair on the back of her neck suddenly stood on end, battle instinct kicking in as Nell whipped her head around and saw another karkinoid coming her way. Magic gathered at her fingertips as she got ready to blast it into oblivion, but instead out of the corner of her eye she saw Hideki...taking off his pants? What the fuck. But it all became clear as he shifted, and she barely even blinked as he took out the karkinoid. “Are you shitting me?! A fucking kitsune?!” It was a mix of shock and excitement. She’d met a few of them when she’d been travelling in Japan during her five-year-long attempt to see the world and all it had to hold. “You’ve been holding out on me, jerk!” Then she joked once more in the midst of battle. “Also rude of you to take the one I wanted.” Speaking of ones she wanted, it seemed that the rest of the karkinoids were quickly pegging Nell and Hideki as the threats to be most worried about at the moment, and were gathering their forces as they advanced on the pair. In a flash, she’d run her knife down the side of her arm, letting that glorious river of red blood run free as she felt its power flow through her veins, and she dropped it onto a bit of glass on the floor. In another moment, the glass that had shattered in perfectly sharpened bits began to hover in place. Normally, they wouldn’t be enough to make a karkinoid flinch, but if she summoned them to her in conjunction, and with a lot of muscle behind them. Well...they’d see whether it worked or not. The only problem was at the center of this circle was Nell and Hideki. “When I say jump- jump. After three.” Then she began the countdown. “1...2…3...Jump!” The glass shot inwards as her feet left the ground, doing its best to imaple anything that was in its path.

Hideki only rolled his eyes as the woman cursed at him. Well, at the very least she seemed to know her stuff. At this point he’d believe she was a hunter with the way that she handled that dagger… which was a terrifying thought he didn’t dare to think that much harder on; the massive lobster in his mouth did not want to die. He was forced to let go of the creature as a massive claw clamped down where he had been standing on it just a second ago. Instead, he took a few paces back as the side of it that was the furthest from Nell burst into flames. Just in time for him to see her rip into her own arm. He let out at alarmed yip and ran towards her. Had the girl lost her mind? Things were dire, but not that dire! He was about to try and pull the dagger from her when he realized the glass was floating. Magic? Well… he had asked to see what she could do. Still, his ears pressed nervously to the back of his head as he circled anxiously, waiting on her count. On her command, he leapt, delicately tucking his tail to avoid any injury as the glass rushed forward. All he knew was that he did not want to be those karkinoids at the moment. 

Generally, Nell wouldn’t have resorted to magic if she could help it when in public, and in front of a man she didn’t know all that well— but he’d shown his so it didn’t seem all that bad to show her’s. Besides, she knew he wasn’t a witch hunter...right? She’d never heard of a shifter being a witch-hunter. Well- it was too late now. This was much faster than dispatching them individually, anyway. She jumped on her own command along with Hideki, and the glass pieces impaled anything in their path, driving deep into the karkinoids. Her feet touched ground once more as the pieces of glass came to settle, the ones that hadn’t come into contact with anything crunching under her shoes. The karkinoids had been considerably slowed, some of them dead in their tracks, though a couple still managed to crawl towards her and Hideki. “One last one for you, and one for me?” she asked, a blood-thirsty grin on her face as she looked at the carnage of the overgrown lobsters they’d wrought, and delicious adrenaline pumped through her veins. 

Hideki landed delicately on his feet, doing his best to ignore the small shards of glass piercing his paws. The small pads on his feet had grown rough from long summer adventures in the mountains where he’d grown up in, but glass was a new sensation that he didn’t ever want to experience again. Still, there were karkinoids to be grilled. He let out a tiny huff in response to her proposition. He took a step forward as though to launch himself at the remaining karkinoid he’d chosen, but let out a small whine as more glass stood in his way. He growled in indignation and set the whole damn creature on fire - perhaps a bit hotter than he’d intended. Still, the sound of sizzling karkinoid was confirmation enough that his part of the job was accomplished.

It took a moment for Nell to realize what was troubling Hideki, but a little flash of guilt ran through her as she realized the problem. His paws. Sure, she had shoes to protect her feet, but he was working with just the skin of his feet. But it had occurred to her too late, and he was already dispatching his karkinoid, glass be damned. Meanwhile, she approached her own opponent. It had a couple shards of glass sticking out of its shell, but still seemed determined to fight until its last breath. Or at least...get to whatever food it had come here for to begin with. It was easy enough to dispatch the thing, and she did so by magicking one of the heavy looking trash cans over to it, before unceremoniously dropping it on top of the overgrown lobster with a loud crunch. “Well...I guess we can’t eat that one.” Finally- there was silence in the shop, and she remembered Hideki’s dilemma. “Are your um- feet alright? Sorry.”

Hideki jumped a little as the sound of the trash can landing on the karkinoid echoed around the once packed coffee shop. He sighed as he picked his way through the glass and back towards his discarded pants. He dragged them behind the counter, where he could shift without ‘injuring her delicate nature’. He slid his pants on with a quiet grunt, ignoring his bare chest for the time being as he pulled himself onto the coffee counter to examine his feet. “It’s alright. Considering how dangerous karkinoids can be, a little glass means nothing.” He tried to give her a reassuring smile but was keenly aware of the blood dripping from his hands and feet. “Do you ah… Would you please get me some paper towels? And a first aid kit? They must have one here somewhere.”

Nell was going to tell him to stay put, and to just let her clear the glass before he went wading through it, but it seemed she was too late as he disappeared behind the counter, and for a moment there was confusion on her face. Was he....hiding? But his emergence along with the pants made it easy enough to put two and two together. Still- perhaps it would have been better if she hadn’t been staring when he came out from where he’d gone. She might call him old man but...lack of shirt considered— Hideki was decidedly...not old. In a moment she looked away, a bit embarrassed simply because she felt intrusive when he obviously hadn’t meant to end up shirtless in a coffee shop. But her frown came back once more when he answered her, and she didn’t hesitate to step closer, holding out an open and upturned palm that was demanding his hand. “Let me see. I’m not the best healer, but I can get by usually. At least make it stop bleeding and keep you from dying of infection.”

The Kitsune blinked at her outstretched hand. He supposed after what they’d just been through, a little truce was more than due. He placed his hand in hers, allowing her to examine at will with a soft smile on his face. “That is… a relief. Most of my family were healers. It had become a bit of a tradition, so everyone was rather surprised when I was useless when it came to injuries. The fire comes in handy though.” He chuckled a little and nodded towards the burnt husks of the karkinoids. He was silent a moment as he deliberated. “Penelope… What was that back there?”

Nell knew that this was a bit...out of the ordinary for them, and it was rather strange to think that not fifteen minutes ago she’d just thought of Hideki as some stuffy, college professor who lived to shame her about college and steal her muffins. But her brow furrowed as she worked, not in the nature of letting people suffer around her unless they deserved it as her small hands traced the air above his injuries. It was true what she’d said about healing, and her work was slow as she did her best to patch up his hands. Though at the same time...blood injuries had always behaved well for her, it being easier for her to will the red droplets to cease, and bring those platelets together to scab over. The part that consisted of turning those scabs into new flesh was where she often ran into trouble. She couldn’t help but pick up on his phrasing, and asked before she could think not to. “Were healers?” Nevertheless, the corner of her mouth turned upwards, certainly being able to relate to not holding up family traditions. “My family’s just the opposite. A bunch of fire elementals and I can’t even make a puff of smoke.” She looked up from her paused work when she heard her name, even if she was still a little thrown that he tended to use her full one. “What was...what? The karkinoids? You said their name?” He’d known what they were, hadn’t he?

Well, Hideki had always admired Nell for her quick wit, though this was one of the few times he wished she hadn’t caught on so easily to his slipping up. He continued to stare at her hands as she worked - it was a good distraction from the memories and emotions bubbling up. “Were healers,” was his simple response. He hoped that was enough to satisfy her and, thankfully, her slight joke was quick to bring his smile back, even if it was only a small one. “No, not the karkinoids. Your abilities. I hate to assume things, but you are quite skilled and most certainly not a regular human. Call it… an old man’s curiosity.”

For the moment, it seemed that Nell had forgotten her own arm that she’d cut open during the fight for her magical purposes, rather intent on fixing Hideki. Besides, she was used to parts of her bleeding, and as far as injuries went it wasn’t that bad. But Nell knew a dismissal when she heard one, or rather— the shutting of a book Hideki didn’t necessarily want her reading when it came to his family. She was curious, but she wouldn't pry at the moment. It was probably easier, anyway. Nell didn’t think she was particularly good at helping people sort through emotions. “Oh-” Despite herself, her pride granted her a bit of a smile as he called her skilled, and that grin widened as he took it upon himself to claim his ‘old man’ title. “I’m a witch,” she shrugged, as if it was everyday news. “A spellcaster, if that’s easier for an old man to grasp. And you’re...a kitsune?”

“A witch?” Hideki echoed, gears turning in his mind. That made the most sense, but he was admittedly still wary of her. What kind of witch had knife skills like that? And blood magic? Clearly its healing abilities had done him some good, but, as far as he understood it, blood magic was generally… disapproved of. He’d need to do more research on the subject to be sure. Most concerning of all, was that he wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t a hunter. He did his best to keep his face calm as he weighed his options, but mainly kept his gaze downcast. “A+, little witch,” the subtle insult made him chuckle as he finally met her eyes, his own glittering mischievously. “I am what is known as a Kasai - or Fire - Kitsune.” His Japanese accent slipped a little as the words from his native tongue rolled past his lips. 

Nell wasn’t sure what to make of his tone, feeling like something was shifting back into the territory they normally inhabited of tit for tat, and sizing one another up. Perhaps their momentary little truce was over? “Yep,” she simply said, confused what other answer he might be looking for. “Black cat and all. Pointy little hat for sure.” Well...the black cat comment wasn’t entirely wrong. And then she was back to her impassioned outbursts as he hit just the right button. “Well we can’t all be freakish giants!” Then she was coming down a little once more. “And your A+ isn’t going to get me to enroll.” Kasai. She knew she’d heard the word before when she’d been talking with her kitsune friends she’d met in Japan, but she hadn’t stayed long enough to know all the types of kitsune and their names. “Funnily enough- I might have guessed the fire bit from the whole barbecue shrimp act. At least we’ll eat well tonight, right?” She’d finished with his hands, and pointed to a nearby counter, indicating he should sit on it. “Alright, feet.”

Getting the desired rise out of her made him laugh. It wasn’t his fault he was over a foot taller than her. Hideki shrugged his shoulders as she refused to enroll yet again. “Perhaps one day you will change your mind and prove to the rest of the professors that you could be a fantastic student.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, knowing full well how ‘cringey’ it may be. His students taught him that word the other day. He nodded, in agreement and slowly shifted a long leg up on the counter so she could have better access. “We might as well open up a seafood restaurant. A one night, lobster-only buffet. It could be quite profitable if we play our cards right.”

Nell’s nose scrunched in her disapproval as she pushed out a hand to shove him lightly in the shoulder. “Stop laughing! Short is normal!” But her face quickly shifted to entirely nonplussed, looking mildly concerned and perhaps disturbed at such movement of his eyebrows. “What was that?” Her next reaction was to laugh a bit. “That was terrifying. You should have done that at the karkinoids!” Her amusement was kindled by talk of a restaurant as she bent a bit to begin work on his feet. “One-night while supplies last. We could be rich. We’ve already got the place and the health code...grade thingy,” she finished while pointing towards the window where the paper was posted. 

“Oh yes, I’m quite certain my eyebrows would have stopped the karkinoids in their tracks,” Hideki mused, as he leaned back a bit, examining their surroundings. “I suppose… we really should donate any profits to the owners, though,” he said with a soft sigh. “I do hope the repairs to this building don’t take too terribly long.” Hideki’s apartment was only two blocks away and he stopped into Coffee Plus on his walks to school each morning. He knew he was fully capable of making his own coffee, but the mere thought of such inconvenience. Which reminded him… “Whatever happened to your muffin?”

“You never know. Have you tried it?” As he leaned back her gaze shifted upwards for a moment to make sure he wasn’t falling or something, and she was once again reminded of his lack of shirt. In a moment, she was floating his discarded cardigan towards them, it landing just beside him on the counter. “Yeah...probably. This kind of thing isn’t exactly uncommon here, though- you know?” Now that she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t the faintest idea how long Hideki had lived in White Crest. “Are you upset for the owner, or your loss of coffee?” she teased. But at the very mention of her muffin, her eyes widened in the slightest, her lips uttering a mournful cry of, “My muffin.” She didn’t spare a second to summon that too, though her pout only strengthened as it came into view. It was in miserable shape, and was there a....bit of karkinoid shell sticking out of it? “My muffin,” she repeated again, this time it being more of an acceptance of the poor thing’s fate. “I guess...would you like a bit of it now? I might be able to share.”

Any kind of response was lost on him as his precious cardigan came floating into view. Sure, he was rather accustomed to magic considering his upbringing, but making things float was not something his family members were generally capable of. He watched like a fascinated child until it finally came to land beside him. “Thank you,” he muttered as he pulled his sweater back on. Hideki purposefully refused to answer her question, though; he was definitely only upset about the coffee, but he wasn’t about to genuinely admit that. The muffin floating still surprised him and he watched as she examined it. “Share?” Bewildered, he stared at her for a moment before laughing. “No, I think we should leave it as inspiration for our dessert menu instead.” With his hands and feet nearly cared for, he finally stopped joking around and leaned forward. “However, I think we should focus our priorities on your arm instead of our faux restaurant. Are you… able to heal yourself? Would you like me to fetch you some bandages?”

Nell watched with some amusement as he seemed to be all too eager to have his cardigan back, though she did not do more than shrug in response to his thanks. A small, non-verbal motion that simply meant ‘don’t mention it’. But she also wasn’t going to let him get away that easily with avoiding her teasing question. “Hmm, your silence is awfully telling. Don’t you think?” She wouldn’t judge though. At least not right now. Her own chuckle peppered through the air as he seemed mystified by the muffin. “Oh- come on. I’m being so generous, and this is the thanks I get?” As he shifted his posture, again she looked up, surprised to find that he was closer than before. “I- what?” Oh her arm. “Oh, don’t worry about it. It kinda comes with the territory.” Nevertheless, this time a small pile of bandages appeared from seemingly thin air on the counter, Nell having magicked them here from home. Suddenly, she was hit with a small wave of fatigue. Perhaps she’d done one too many spells in quick succession after the glass stunt, but she brushed it off. After all, healing generally took more out of her than other magics. “I’ll just put them on in a bit. Magical healing isn’t always as prudent for me.” She’d healed her sacrificial wounds before, the ones she made in exchange for power, but sometimes doing so had...unexpected consequences. It seemed that something in magic didn’t always approve of healing something that was meant to be freely given in exchange for power so quickly. Perhaps it felt cheated. “Thank you, though,” she said, remembering her manners at the last moment. After all, it was nice of him to ask.

“When you get to be my age, you learn quickly where your loyalties lie. Mine just so happen to belong to a caffeine addiction,” Hideki finally admitted with a quiet but knowing laugh. Nell was right in that things like this just… happened in White Crest. He’d been there about a year and a half and had learned that lesson quite quickly. The sudden appearance of the bandages on the counter startled him, making him jump. He scrutinized them as though they might come alive, and then he scrutinized her calm demeanor. She wasn’t acting as though anything were out of place… so it must’ve been her doing. He relaxed and turned his gaze to his palms, where he experimentally made a fist. The scabbing would restrict a bit of his movements, but he figured his fine motor skills weren’t too impaired. “Come now, little witch. No need to be stubborn over a simple fix.” He leaned forward - proving himself to be quite flexible - as he gently took her by the elbow of the injured arm and led her towards him for better access. He examined the gash and plucked the bandages off the counter. “I may not have the magical ability to heal, but I’ve cleaned my fair share of wounds.”

Nell’s head tilted to the side, realizing that along with him being a kitsune, she really didn’t know how old he was. “Are you admitting to being an old man, in the same breath as being willing to do anything for coffee?” She was teasing, but also genuinely curious about an answer to her first question. Trying to remember back to the rush of the fight...she couldn’t recall staring at any tails he may or may not have, but she didn’t think there’d been a plethora. Nell shouldn’t have been amused by startling him with the bandages, but another small grin slipped over her lips nonetheless. She’d have to warn him next time. “How’s it feel?” she asked, craning her head a bit to try and get a look at his hands. “Be careful though, I don’t want you to open up the scabs.” She grumbled a bit over her apparent new nickname that he’d settled on. Apparently he was determined to make it stick. But her barbs were lowered for a moment when she realized what he was doing, and let herself be brought closer. Still, she was uncertain, mind still decently confused about how they’d gotten from swiping muffins to this. “I- um- alright.” Perhaps the first time she hadn’t fought him on something. “Thanks.”

Hideki made a soft humming sound as he contemplated his answer. “By human standards, I am very much an ‘old man’, but, in the eyes of the ancient ones, I am still a baby.” He winked knowingly and set about the task of cleaning and bandaging up her arm. His touch was gentle, but a bit clumsy with how he couldn’t fully bend his fingers. It didn’t help that his hands were shaking again. He frowned as he realized he hadn’t eaten anything… again. When was his last meal? He’d had… a bowl of rice for dinner two nights ago? No wonder. His brow furrowed as he concentrated, willing his muscles to comply until he could scavenge something up. “They’re a little stiff, but I should be just fine, thank you.” Despite his shaking fingers, he tied off the bandages with a practiced ease. With his immediate concern appropriately addressed, he finally noticed the scarring that undoubtedly came from her magic. He made a mental note but decided it would be best if he simply… didn’t ask. “Now then… I vote we find my shoes and get out of here,” he muttered as he wiggled his feet, testing their new flexibility too.

Nell let out a hum of amusement before she simply said, “Baby, old man,” still having no qualms with poking some fun at him. “That explains a decent amount, though.” Like why he literally sounded like he’d come out of a different century at times. But she stilled as he went about his work, watching curiously as he did what he promised. She couldn’t...entirely remember the last time she’d let someone help this way. It seemed different than letting the healers at the Ring heal her, and she didn’t even always let them do their work. Her frown joined his as she watched his hands tremor, and she didn’t waste time to ask, “You’re sure you’re alright?” Yes, shoes would be a good idea. Despite her wave of fatigue earlier, she didn’t waste time to call the shoes to them, as she was fairly certain she could at least handle this one other thing for the moment. “Should we see if it fits, Cinderella?” she asked, presenting them to him. 

The Kitsune only nodded in response to her question, not wanting to have her worry over him. While he undoubtedly enjoyed her presence, there were some things he still needed to work out about her - such as whether or not she might be a genuine threat. He was slowly getting accustomed to things just floating towards him, but it didn’t stop his eyes from going wide as he watched. “Ah yes, my good prince. Let us see,” he laughed and held up his foot, but the laughter died in his throat as the sound of distant sirens started getting closer. Hideki paled as he looked around the destroyed coffee shop. Of course the police would be on their way. His eyes met Nell’s for a beat and he opened his mouth, but the words refused to come out. All he could communicate was panic. He snatched the shoes and slid across the counter, bolting through the kitchen door and out of the emergency exit as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn’t even bother to pull his hair from his face as he sprinted down the block, completely bypassing his apartment and heading for the woods. For familiar territory. For safety.

Hm. Nell wasn’t sure how satisfied she was with his nod, but she’d have to take it for now. They needed to get out of this mess. She laughed before leaning over to help him get his shoes on, but it seemed she wouldn’t get the chance to see if the slipper fit. In another moment, she’d heard the sirens as well, and cursed lightly. “Shit.” She doubted the police would blame them for this, but you never knew who might become the scapegoat in a town such as White Crest. But Hideki’s panic held her captive for a moment, making her want to reach out and take the reins when it came to getting out of this. No sooner had she thought such a thing was he bolting for the door in a way that only raised more questions for her. Nell ran after him for a moment, but didn’t get all that far from the shop before she stumbled onto the pavement her shaky legs giving out for a moment as the cost of her magic left her less coordinated than usual. And by the time she looked up he was long gone, nothing but a single shoe left in his wake.

[g-viirus]

~Bad memory~

Through half-open eyes, Leon glanced at the clock again. 3:14. Only ten minutes since he’d last checked. With a grunt, he flipped to the other side, closing his eyes again.

Maybe it was the fact that he was on a couch. Or, of course, maybe he was making excuses. Maybe he really couldn’t sleep, no matter if he was in his own apartment, or Sherry’s. Through a drowsy mind, he vaguely recalled her concern. Words were harder to remember, but the care in her voice had been apparent. She always seemed to worry - even when he felt he didn’t deserve it.

His tired thoughts couldn’t stay connected for long, dragged apart by the dark room and his need for sleep. At an agonizingly slow pace, he could feel night falling upon him, finally pulling him away from reality.

Cold washed over him like a shower of ice. Leon shot up from his position, eyes wide with shock. This wasn’t Sherry’s apartment, but he knew damn well what it was.

A cold, dark hallway was laid out before him, walls and floor spattered with blood and gore. A window was smashed open, shreds of police tape hanging off of the sill and blowing in the wind and rain. He was in the RPD.

So. This was going to be one those dreams. Mentally, he began to prepare himself for the worst, pulling himself to his feet and beginning down the hall. It only took a few seconds for him to realize that there was someone else in the distance, someone very small, watching him intently. Someone he recognized, as he moved closer.

 "Sherry?“ he whispered, peering into the shadows.

It was Sherry, alright. Blonde hair pulled into a now-messy bun, clothes stained with dirt, her face  into an expression of fear. She didn’t recognize him. The girl took a step backwards, as Leon stepped towards her.

 "It’s alright, Sherry, it’s okay, I won’t-”

It was now that Leon realized she was not looking at him, but rather, past him. He checked behind himself, finding a rotting, walking body stumbling down the hall. He turned around fully, reaching for a gun ( it only took a second for him to realize that he didn’t have a weapon ) and readying himself to fight.

 "Sherry, I need you to-“

Once again, he was interrupted, as Sherry seemed to realize that the zombie in front of her was dangerous. The high-pitched scream of a terrified child hit the air, followed by several loud thumps. Leon swerved around again, to find that Sherry had fled. The agent took chase, calling for the girl as he followed her down the hallway. The infected behind him squealed, and began to stumble after the duo.

Like some kind of ungraceful Spiderman, Sherry clambered onto a desk and into a vent. Leon got the sense that the cover had been pulled off by her, perhaps for this very reason. He stopped in front of the opening, only just in time to watch her disappear into another room.

‘Okay. Okay, she’s smart, she’ll be fine,’ his thoughts ended abruptly, as a cold set of hands landed on the nape of his neck, pulling him face to face with–

The scene changed. Leon stood silent in shock, trying to decide where he was. It was a house, a living room of some kind, perhaps. Expensive-looking furnishings adorned the room, although Leon couldn’t help but feel like it looked too much like a museum. He knew this place, too. Simmons’ house.

Instantly, he noticed himself - or, more appropriately, his younger self - knelt down in the center of the room. His hands held the arms of a now-clean-looking Sherry, who’s expression was twisted with  what Leon could only describe as pain. Behind her, leaned against a door-frame, was the bastard man himself. Derek C. Simmons. Leon’s gut sank - he knew exactly what was happening.

 "You said that you’d stay,” Sherry’s voice was choked with sadness, a sort of loss that no child’s tone should ever have to carry.

 "I know, I know, Sherry. But, look- I’ll visit, I promise,“ he watched himself attempt to comfort the girl, who was growing more hysterical by the minute.

 "I don’t want you to visit, I want to stay with you! You said,” Sherry stopped to suppress a sob, crocodile tears flowing down her cheeks, “You said we’d be a family!”

Even now, in a dream, the words cut like a knife. They stabbed at his chest, digging up the feelings of loss that he’d worked so hard to ignore. His former self, still young, was experiencing them for the first time. He watched, moment by moment, as the former cop’s expression went from seriousness, to remorse, to misery in a single second.

 "I’m sorry, Sherry. There isn’t- This is how it has to be.“

His tone was hushed, just barely loud enough for his older self to hear. Sherry buried her head in dream-Leon’s shoulder, howling as she wept. His younger self wrapped his arms around her, mumbling words of comfort as he slowly rocked her back and forth. His eyes closed ( he couldn’t cry in front of Sherry - he remembered thinking that ). Simmons checked his watch, and clapped his hands, causing both older and younger Leon to flinch.

 "Alright, Mr. Kennedy, that’s five minutes. Your time is up.”

Younger Leon sighed, “Look, sir, just let me-”

 "We agreed on five minutes. It’s time you go.“

Sherry managed to quiet herself long enough for Leon to mumble a goodbye, before he stood up and headed for the door. The young girl watched, sniveling and shaking, only allowing herself to begin crying again as the door clicked shut.

 "Now, Ms. Birkin,” Simmons turned Sherry around to face him, “You’ll be living under my roof, which means you abide by my rules. You go to bed at 7:00 PM, sharp. You’ll be punished if you’re caught up after that…”

As much as his voice pissed Leon off, it slowly faded. As did everything else. And, without truly knowing how it happened, Leon found himself elsewhere. A deathly-white room, with a young girl sat atop a hospital bed. He was able to recognize her as Sherry, although older, now. She looked about fifteen, hair cut to just above her shoulders, blue eyes sullen as she stared at the wall. They were alone, it seemed- Just maybe-

 "Sherry, can you hear me?“ he was still reeling from the pain of the last memory, and his voice mirrored that. To his surprise, Sherry reacted, turning to look at him.

 "Leon?”

The door opened, and much to Leon’s confusion, a small team entered the room. All clad in white, with sick masks across their faces and their hair pulled under hair nets. The only one he could place was Simmons, who asked ( quite rudely, in Leon’s opinion ), “Ms. Birkin, who are you talking to?”

 "I, uh-“ Sherry looked back at where Leon stood, but she didn’t seem to notice him this time, "Nothing, Mr. Simmons. Just my head.”

Simmons scoffed, as though to say that he should’ve known. The team dispersed themselves about the room, each fiddling with their own instruments. The headlamp above Sherry was flicked on, and one of the doctors took Sherry’s chin. She began to inspect her eyes, skin, ears - normal doctor’s appointment things, Leon figured.

Simmons had placed himself by the door, scribbling away at a notepad. It was only as the doctor held out Sherry’s arm, that Leon realized something was very wrong.

 "Alright. Ms. Birkin, has the anesthetic set in?“

 "I think so. I can’t feel my arm.”

 "Of course. Genkins, get me the saw. Ms. Birkin, I recommend you close your eyes.“

The metal was pressed firmly against Sherry’s skin, slowly piercing through her flesh, and while she didn’t react, Leon felt every second of it. His good hand wrapped around his wrist, putting pressure on a nonexistent, yet pulsating wound. Quickly, but not cleanly, Sherry’s hand was severed from it’s arm.

Despite the throbbing in his own arm, Leon tried to move towards Sherry, intentions set on pulling her away. Waves of confusion and anger washed over him, only furthering when he found himself unable to move. Sherry made no noise, but her tightly-closed eyes and gritted teeth told Leon everything he didn’t want to know.

The blonde let out a scream, as her hand began to regrow from it’s stump. Bone extended outwards, muscles slowly climbing their way after it. The skin began to grow over it, leaving the hand blue and, in some places, black. At the same time, the pain in his arm disappeared. The old hand had been picked up now, and put in a bag on the counter. The new one had flopped at the base, useless, nerves spasming as it tried to revive itself.

 "Healing time, 53 seconds. Mutations apparent,” the doctor looked away, and at Simmons, “If it’s anything like the last time, her hand should be back to it’s regular appearance and usable by next week.”

There was a nod from Simmons, who continued to write away. God, Leon wanted to punch the bastard. He didn’t know if what he was watching unfold held any semblance of truth, or if it was purely a conjuration of his own thoughts. But that didn’t change how livid he was, or how badly he wanted to go to Sherry, and take her away from the doctors and help her - to protect her.

But he couldn’t.

The agent was held to his spot, forced to watch as a barrage of scenes passed by him. All in the same room, with the same theme. And with every slice of the skin, every amputation, even a gunshot or two, Leon felt the same pain as Sherry did.

He could only catch glimpses, snippets of words and and flashes of pain. He heard Sherry crying; Simmons explaining that she was a mutant, undeserving of the treatment a human might receive; voices belonging to himself and Claire, offering heartfelt goodbyes.

By the end, Leon was left aching and lost.

——-

He woke to Sherry’s face.

 "Leon! Leon, are you okay? You were-“

The blonde was cut off, as Leon pushed himself to a seated position and pulled Sherry into a tight hug. His breath was ragged, eyes unwilling to close, should she be taken from him again. After a moment, the hug was reciprocated, as Sherry wrapped her own arms around him.

 "It’s alright. It was just a dream. You’re safe here, I promise.”

His forehead pressed against her shoulder, finally willing his eyelids to close. He needed to calm down - they were safe - she was safe. Slowly, he pulled away, to look her in the eyes, hands holding her arms once again. The question stuck in his throat - “What happened to you?” - but he couldn’t ask. Either she wouldn’t understand, or he’d only end up scratching at old wounds. Both things that he didn’t want to happen.

 "Are you okay?“ her tone was feathery soft, filled with worry. It took a second, but he nodded.

 "Yeah, I’m- I’m fine, kiddo. Thank you,” he paused for a brief moment, ending with a, “Listen, you, uh… If you ever need to tell me anything, I’m here. I hope you know that.”

A smile broke out on the woman’s face. “I’m not sure why you’re telling me that, but yeah. I know. And you do too, okay?”

 "I know. You’re a good kid, Sherry.“

 "And you’re a good dad, Leon.”

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

Lost in Translation - Ch 8

Title: Lost in Translation

Fandom: Star Trek

Pairing: Mckirk

Rating: Lemon

Tags: minor character death, hurt, little bit of self destruction, stranded, possible smut down the line

Summary:

    “Attention citizens. This is the crew of the Enterprise asking for your aid. On Stardate 2264.78 a shuttle manned by our captain and fourteen cadets was ambushed by an unknown source and chased out of sight of our ship and into open space. Those cadets as well as our captain, James Tiberius Kirk, are still missing. We are asking anyone with any information on their whereabouts, or regarding the attack, to please contact the Enterprise immediately. Our family would appreciate any assistance you can give.” 

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Special Thanks: wanted to give a huge shout out to my girl Katie, AKA @goingknowherewastaken for being a huge inspiration for this fic as well as for being a huge help (especially when it comes to putting up with my frantic ramblings lol) you're awesome boo <3

A/N: So this is a work in progress but it’s basically finished and I’ve been making great headway with this recently, so this will be the first fic I’ve ever finished! Woohoo!! And I'm thinking that I’ll probably stick to a Sunday post schedule.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 8

    Len let go a hard sigh. It had been nearly two days since Jim had been found, two days of sitting in his room waiting for him to wake up, waiting to see those blue eyes again. He had spent the majority of it going through the logs that Spock had gave him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to listen to anymore, at least not right now. For the first time since Jim went missing Len was able to take his mind to a happier place, a place where it was him and Jim and nothing else mattered.

    He ran a hand through his hair while his mind was still stuck on their time back in Georgia with Gran, and as his hand travelled into the back of his shirt it caught on something. He knew what it was, and all he could do was smile and close his eyes as the memories of their second day in Georgia flooded his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

    Jim woke to the sun on his face on their second day in Georgia. He stretched out in the bed, letting the warmth of the sun coming through the window wrap around him for a moment before pulling himself out of bed.

    He grabbed a shirt from the closet and shuffled across the hall into Len's room, but he wasn’t there. The room was empty and the bed already made… no Bones.

    With a pout and a furrowed brow he continued to shuffle down the stairs and towards the kitchen where he knew Gran was. He could hear the music playing and smell the food cooking, smiling when he walked in and Gran was dancing around the kitchen while she cooked.

    “Good morning, Jimmy!” she sang as he took a seat at the island across from where she was standing.

    “Mornin’,” he slurred as he rubbed his eyes, “where's Bones?”

    Gran grabbed a plate from one of the cupboards behind her and placed it in front of Jim, who was more then happy to oblige. “I had him make a run into town for me this morning. It’s Lenny’s birthday today, though I don’t think he's even realized it yet. Poor kids always so wrapped up in worryin’ about me, he neglects himself.”

    Jim laughed around a mouthful of scrambled eggs, “That’s right! The old mans twenty-nine.”     “Yes he is,” she chuckled, “I had him go into town and get me some groceries that included the supplies I’d need to bake him a cake, I also sent him for some home improvement items, and a few other things that should keep him occupied for most of the day. I invited a few friends over tonight to help us celebrate. So, the list I gave him should keep him away long enough for us to get things ready for tonight, and I should still have enough time to finish the cake before guests arrive. It’ll be a nice surprise for Lenny.”

    Jim gave her a devious smirk, “Gran, you are sneaky!” she threw him a wink before he continued, “He should have brought me with him, and if I had known about the plan I could have kept him out longer.”

    “He was going to wake you up this morning but he said you were sound asleep and looked like you could use the rest, he didn’t want to wake you,” she smiled at Jim, seeing the little bit of disappointment he was trying to hide in his eyes, then gave his hand a pat on the counter, “But I could use your help anyways. I’ve got some decorations in the garage I wanted to dig out before he gets back, and after that you can keep him occupied with some barn chores while I get everything else ready.”

    “I’d love to!” He stood and placed his dishes in the sink before thinking about the small package he had hidden upstairs in his bag, “I hope he likes the gift I got him.”

    “Oh, Jimmy,” she swooned slightly, “I know for a fact that Lenny would love anything you got for him, especially because it’s coming from you. What did you get him?”

    Jim gave her a smirk, “Can’t tell, you'll just have to wait and see.”

    Gran gave an overdramatic gasp, “You won’t even tell your old Gran what you got him?” Jim just shook his head, giving nothing away, “You devil!” she laughed and swat him towards the back door, “Come on now, out to the garage with you!”

~~~~~~~~~~~

    Gran opened the double doors to the oversized garage behind the house. Inside there were boxes upon boxes piled on top of each other, down both sides and in the centre of the garage, even up in the rafters. Jim stood in the doorway for a moment in awe before following Gran inside.

    He picked up a few boxes looking inside and not finding anything remotely close to party decorations, “What exactly are we looking for here, Gran? Is there something that can help us find the decoration box a little faster?”

    “I'm pretty sure I left it around this back corner over here,” she said pointing towards a very messy pile of boxes in the back, “haven’t used em’ in years, so I just hope they’re in good condition after all this time.”

    Jim followed her back towards the pile she had pointed to but before he made it there, his eye caught something, and if he was right in what he thought it was, he was very excited.

    He walked over and grabbed the cherry red tarp he had spotted and pulled. Jim was so excited over his findings that he nearly vibrated right out of his own skin. Before him stood the most beautiful bike he had ever laid eyes on. A deep cherry red with black edgings, double seat and road ready, he nearly fainted.

    “You have a motorcycle?!” He spun around to Gran who was watching him with a fond smile.

    “Yes,” she hummed as she walked closer, “this belonged to Lenny’s father. He loved this contraption, took it everywhere.”

    “I had one back before I joined the academy, but nothing nearly as nice as this,” he ran his finger tips gently across the bike, entranced, “the keys are in the ignition.”

    “Go ahead, Jimmy, see if it’ll start up.”

    She stood back and watched as he tried a few times and it wouldn’t start, but after a little bit of tinkering from Jim, another few tries, and the bike roared to life under him. He whooped as the engine hummed and echoed through the garage, smiling wide as he revved it a few times, then turned it off and stood next to Gran.

    “Well done, son!” she clapped his shoulder.

    “That,” he pointed back to it, “is an awesome bike!”

    “If you wanna take it out for a spin while you're here, feel free. It hasn’t been used since we lost Lenny’s father.”

    “Bones never rode it?”

    She laughed, “I think he was too afraid to. Wouldn’t even get on with his daddy to ride around the driveway when he was younger.”

    Jim hummed with a smirk… that could be fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~

    Around one that afternoon Gran was just putting the last of the food she was preparing for the party in the fridge when the back door opened.

    She turned to see Len walking in, bags in hand, and rounding the counter to place a kiss on her cheek, “It took a while, but I got everything on your list.”

    “Thanks, Lenny,” she gave his arm a squeeze, “go ahead and drop those bags on the counter and head on out to the barn. Jimmy’s out there looking like a true Georgian.”

    “Oh yeah?” Len raised a brow.

    “Said he wanted to help out with some chores, so I gave him some of your old working clothes and sent him out,” and now to get rid of Len so she could finish up the preparations, “he's been waiting on ya all day so you better hurry on up and get out there. And might I say, you're boy sure does look mighty fine in overalls and cowboy boots.”

    She threw him a wink and a smirk, watching his face go all shades of red before he laughed and said, “I’ll bet he does,” and practically ran out the door and to the barn.

~~~~~~~~~~~

    Len wandered through the halls of the barn but could not find Jim anywhere. He finally found himself by the back of the barn near the tack room when he was jumped from behind. Jim had wrapped himself around Len like a koala, clinging to his back with his arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

    “Happy birthday, old man!” Jim shouted and squeezed him tighter.

    Len groaned, “Oh lord, I forgot about that. But thanks, kid.”

    “Well, I would never forget your special day, and here’s your first present.”

    “You didn’t have to get me anything, kid-”

    Before he could finish he was cut off by Jim's lips pressed into his cheek in a long kiss. He felt the heat instantly rise up his neck and hit his cheeks, and before he was ready for it to be over Jim had pulled away and was now standing in front of him, bright smile spread across his face.

    “Well, if that’s what you got me, I’ll definitely accept more of those!”

    Jim laughed, perhaps even blushing a little himself, “That’s not all I got you, but you'll have to wait for the good stuff.”

    “You mean it gets better then that?” he smirked touching his cheek gently.

    “Sure does, Bones, and present number two…” he takes Len's hand and starts pulling him through the barn, “I volunteered us for a bunch of chores today, Gran shouldn’t be doing them all herself after all.”

    Len groaned at the thought of chores, especially on his birthday, but willingly followed after Jim anyways. He only needed to keep Len occupied for a few more hours before Jim could move him to the house just before the party.

~~~~~~~~~~~

    Jim was quite proud of himself. He had managed to keep Len in the barn and away from the Gran for an entire four hours. Not only that but they had managed to get a tone of chores done for Gran. They mucked out all the stalls, cleaned some of the tack, tidied the indoor riding ring, and even managed to have enough time to help the barn hands with the evening feeding. Looking at the time and seeing that it was after five, Jim thought it was a good time to head for the house.

    “Hey, Bones!” he called down the hall, and Len peeked his head out of one of the stalls, “Let’s head inside now. I'm sure Gran will have dinner ready soon and I am in desperate need of a shower.”

    “Yeah, me too,” he agreed, and they made their way to the house together.

    When they walked inside Gran was sitting at the kitchen table with a lady, who smiled at them as they walked inside.

    “Boys,” Gran greeted them sipping at her tea, “Lenny, you remember Anita from down the street.” Len nodded and smiled at the lady, “Anita, this is Jim.”

    “Howdy, ma’am,” Jim pretended to tip a hat, getting himself a chuckle out of Anita and an eye roll from Len.

    “We’re gunna head up for showers, Gran,” Len said, taking Jim's arm, “we’ll be down for dinner soon. Nice to see you again, Anita.”

    “You too, Len,” she smiled.

    “I’ll be up in a sec, Bones,” Jim took his arm from him, “you go first and I’ll shower after you, just gunna grab a water.”

    Len nodded and quickly padded up the stairs. When Jim heard the bathroom door close he turned to Gran, “Do you need me to do anything?! When are the people coming?! Is there enough time?!”

    Gran laughed, running a hand down his arm, “Don’t worry, Jimmy, everything’s going according to plan. While you boys were out in the barn I got all the food ready and the cake, it’s all in the fridge. And Anita’s going to help me set every thing up outside, along with some of the barn hands who offered to help. Everything will be set up and finished before you boys are ready.”

    “Ok,” he sighed in relief, “I’ll make sure he waits for me upstairs before coming down, and I’ll turn the porch light on before I bring him outside.”

    “Sounds like a plan, Jimmy my boy! Now head on up and shower, you smell like a zoo.”

    He laughed and waved to Anita before heading upstairs after Len.

~~~~~~~~~~~

    After Jim was finished in the shower and dressed in some decent clothes, he met Len in his room who was waiting for him while lounging on the bed.

    “Ready for dinner, Bones? I know I'm starving after all that work.”

    “I'm actually pretty comfortable right here,” Len said, shuffling back into the pillows more, “I forgot how tiring barn work is.”

    “No kidding,” Jim did the last button on his shirt before walking to the edge of the bed, “I don’t know how you did that everyday when you were a kid.”

    “Neither do I,” he turned his head to look at Jim and held out an arm, “you can join me for a few minutes before dinner, if you want.”

    Jim didn’t hesitate in taking the offer and climbed in beside him, curling into his side and laying his head on his chest.

    “This vacation was the best idea ever, Bones,” Jim mumbled lazily into Len's chest.

    Len sighed, “Yeah, too bad we have to back to classes and work after it.”

    “It’ll be worth it in the end, when I have my own ship and you're my chief medical officer.”

    “Who says I want to be stuck on the same ship as you for god knows how long?”

    Jim playfully smacked his stomach and laughed when his head bounced on Len's chest with his laugh, “You wouldn’t want to be on anyone else's ship, and you can’t even try to convince me other wise.”

    Len shook his head and smiled, “Got that right, kid.”

    They laid there for a little while longer in a comfortable silence until Jim felt the change in Len's breathing and could tell he was falling asleep. He quickly got out of the bed, jostling Len awake, and took his hand, “Come on, I'm hungry and you need to eat before sleeping. Not to mention I don’t think Gran would appreciate it much if we slept through dinner after all the cooking she did.”

    Without argument Len allowed Jim to guide him down the stairs and stopped in the doorway to the kitchen confused. The entire house was in darkness. He didn’t remember hearing Gran come up the stairs to head to her room down the hall, and surely she would have popped her head in to say good night like she always did.

    “Where is she?” Len asked, clutching Jim's hand a little tighter, worry taking over.

    “I'm sure she's fine, Bones,” Jim made his best attempt at feigning innocence as he brought Len over to the back door and turned on the porch light, “Maybe she's sitting outside?”

    They walked outside and Len looked around not seeing Gran, “She's not out here… where the hell could she have possibly gone?”

    “Maybe around the side of the house?”

    Jim started dragging Len down the porch steps and this time he fought back a little, “Jim, I don’t think she would have gone all the way around there, especially not alone at night. She must be inside somewhere, or maybe we should call Anita-”

    “Let’s just check, Bones,” he continued pulling Len around the house, despite him trying to hold back this time.

    “Jim, honestly, she wouldn’t come all the way around-”

    Len stopped in his tracks as they finally rounded the house. There were several large white tents popped up in the grass, one with tables and chairs and a buffet of food, and another with a small stage and a laid out dance floor. Both tents were connected and open, and lit up with beautifully coloured lights. A small band adorned the stage, and the tent was filled to the brim with people, neighbours and friends Len had grown up with, and at the front of the crowd was Gran with a huge smile on her face as Len stood there in awe.

    A loud, “Surprise!” was shouted from the crowd and that’s what Len needed to break himself out of his trance and soak it all in. The smile on his face at the gesture was ear to ear as Gran walked over to kiss his cheek with a loud smack.

    “Happy birthday, my sweet Lenny!” she kissed his cheek again before taking a step back as the band began to play behind her.

    “You didn’t have to do all this for me, Gran.” He leaned in and kissed her back.

    “Oh, it wasn’t just me,” she turned to Jim, “Jimmy had a hand in this too.”

    He brushed her off with a wave of his hand, “Naw, I just kept you occupied while Gran organized everything.”

    “Nonsense,” she gave his chest a pat, “I wouldn’t have been able to do it all in secret without you. Now, you boys go have some food and dance and have fun!”

    Len took the hand he was still holding of Jim's and walked him inside. They ate together and then Len took his hand once more and walked him around, introducing Jim to his childhood friends and neighbours. Jim didn’t miss a beat in any conversation and Len watched as Jim had all of them eating out of the palm of his hands. Everyone at the party loved Jim, and how could they not. He was funny and charming, and Len didn’t know how he had made it all those years before the academy, before he met Jim Kirk, the best thing that had ever happened to him.

    After Jim had been introduced to nearly everyone, Len was being led by Jim to the front row of tables by the dance floor and told to sit. Len watched as he walked over to Gran, whispered in her ear, and then made his way back to sit with Len, quickly lacing their hands together on top of the table.

    Before Len could ask what they were up to, the band stopped and Gran walked up onto the stage and took the mic. “Hello everyone, and thanks for coming to my grandsons birthday celebration,” everyone clapped before she continued, “Lenny, it means the world to me to be able to have you here again for your birthday. I know you’ve been working hard on your exams at the academy, and I am very proud of you, both of you, but it is so wonderful to finally have you home. I know life’s thrown some pretty heavy curve balls at you but you’ve over come every obstacle and, well, look at you now. You’ve got a great career ahead of you, wonderful friends and family around you to celebrate your birthday, and a gorgeous young man on your arm,” the two boys smiled, and Len removed his hand from Jim's so he could wrap his arm around his shoulder and pull him closer, “you’ve made your old Gran very proud, Lenny, and Jimmy I would like to hereby officially welcome you to the family! I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you two boys! Happy birthday, Lenny.”

    Cheers erupted through the tent and Gran left the stage open for anyone else who wanted to say a few words. Anita spoke next, recanting a few sweet memories of Len running around the neighbourhood scant only in a diaper, reeking havoc in the local shops, and never failing to make everyone in town smile and laugh. An old teacher of Len's went next, remembering what a wonderful student Len was, one of his favourites he had said. A few other neighbours followed, everyone having only wonderful things to say about Len, and each one of them bringing up the fact that they were happy Len had finally found happiness in Jim, that Len's “boyfriend” was a wonderful man, that Len was lucky to have him. And despite that fact that both boys were not in fact in a relationship, neither of them denied it, and honestly neither of them wanted to. Every time someone mentioned Jim in their speech it only made Len pull him closer, tucking Jim right into his side with Jim's head on his shoulder and his hand resting on Len's thigh. Until everyone had their say and it was Jim's turn to take the stage.

  He hopped up on stage and took the mic from the last person to speak, turning to face the crowd, looking at Len as he leaned across the table to listen to Jim. “Hello new family!” everyone answered in kind, “it makes me very happy to see that Bones has so many amazing people to share his life with here and who love him as much as you all do, because if anyone deserves all that, it’s definitely Bones.” He smiles directly at him, and his eyes never leave Len's for the rest of his speech, “I remember the first day I met you on the shuttle in Riverside. I took one look at your drunk ass coming out of the shuttle bathroom, arguing with the attendant and yelling about infectious diseases and solar flares, and I thought, yep he's the one. And I think you’ve definitely figured this out on your own already, but the “housing snafu” that landed you in a suite with me instead of your own bachelor suite… yeah, that was totally me. I hacked the system so we could room together.” Jim winked at Len and everyone chuckled, “After that you… you seemed to turn my world upside down, Bones. In a life as crazy as mine had been up until that point, no ones ever wormed their way into my heart as quickly as you did. Almost instantly I knew I would give you my life, my trust, and I had never given anyone that privilege before you. After just a short amount of time with you, the thought of being away from you scared the hell out of me, and… I know I said that you going to Georgia for two weeks and me staying at the academy would be a breeze but I totally lied. I was so relieved when Gran invited me to come with you, because I don’t think I would have made it two minutes, let alone two weeks without you, Bones. And I don’t know what our futures hold after graduation but I hope that fate lands us together. But I mean, if it doesn’t then that’s ok, cuz I'm sure I can find a way to hack that too,” everyone laughs again and Len continues watching him with tears in his eyes, “but no matter what happens I know you'll be the amazing person you already are, and I’ll be standing right next to you the entire time, because I don’t want to be anywhere else. So, happy birthday, Bones.”

    Everyone in the tent clapped and cheered for Jim's speech, and Len found himself wiping away a few stray tears, and he definitely wasn’t the only one doing so. After a moment Jim waved at Len to join him on stage and said, “Ok, old man, time to blow out the candles!” and Len stood centre stage as a huge cake was brought up by two of their barn hands who had stayed to join the party.

    While the tent erupted into a choir of happy birthday, Len turned and reached out to Jim. At first Jim tried to wave him off saying it was his day, but Len wouldn’t have it and took a step towards him, and Jim finally gave in and allowed Len to pull him into his arms. Len held Jim in front of him, head resting on Jim's shoulder as his friends came to the end of the song, and with the last words he whispered into Jim’s ear, “together,” and after counting to three, the two of them blew out the candles together.

    Everyone clapped and when Len let him go, Jim placed the mic in his hand and took a step back for him to speak. “Well, I must say this is a mighty fine surprise,” Len gestured to everyone gathered in front of him, “thank-you all for coming out and helping me celebrate my birthday, and thanks to Jim and Gran who put this whole thing together. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve been back to Georgia, back home, but I promise that I will make more time to visit after this. I hadn’t realized how much I really missed it here and everyone in it. I won’t make the mistake of staying away that long again. But, I’ll keep this short and sweet so we can all have some of Gran’s amazing cake,” a few hoots were heard from the back and Len laughed, “I honestly can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, not just tonight but in all my years. After hearing some of those stories I realize now that when Gran said raising me took a village, she was not kidding. Now, everyone enjoy the rest of the night, eat more food, have some cake, and let’s get the band back up here so we can dance the night away!”

    Len passed the mic off to someone as the band crowded the stage again, reaching for Jim's hand and walking them off stage. As their feet hit the dance floor the band started up with a slow song and without Len even having to speak a word Jim was already in front of him, waiting for Len to take the lead like he had the night before. Len pulled him in with his hand on his back, taking his other hand in his and started gently swaying them to the music, pulling Jim as close to his body as he could get him.

    As they danced, Jim rested his face in the crook of Len's neck breathing in his scent as Len whispered to him, “Thank-you for this, Jim.”

    “Don’t thank me, Bones, it was mostly Gran’s doing.”

    Len chuckled, “I'm sure the two of you are of equal blame, but regardless, this means a lot to me and I'm really glad you're here to spend it with me.”

    Jim smiled into his neck, “I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.”

    They continued to sway until the song was just about over when Jim lifted his head to look at Len with a smirk, “Do you think we could sneak away for a bit?”

    Len looked around at their guests, then back to Jim, “I'm sure we could, everyone seems pretty occupied right now with cake and dancing. Everything ok?”

    “Fine,” Jim stopped dancing and took Len's hand, “I just wanted to give you your next present.”

    Len perked up at that, giving Jim a smirk of his own, “Oh? In that case, follow me.”

    After quickly making sure they weren’t being watched, Len guided Jim to the back corner of the tent by the stage, and the two of them parted the material and snuck out the back. Jim then took the lead and ran with Len across the grass and to the garage by the barn. Once inside Jim flicked on the lights and turned to Len.

    “Ready for your present, Bones?”

    Len nodded enthusiastically and closed his eyes, leaning his face towards Jim and offering his cheek. Jim chuckled and pushed Len away, Len laughing with him.

    “Not that, Bones,” Jim turned and grabbed the cherry red tarp behind him and revealed the bike he had found earlier with Gran, “we’re going for a ride!”

    Len eyed the bike behind him. He remembered it, it was his fathers old bike from when he was younger. “Oh no, kid. I'm not getting on that. I wouldn’t as a kid and I sure as hell don’t want to now.”

    “Come on, Bones. It’s perfectly safe.”

    “The hell it is! It’s a death trap.”

    Jim couldn’t help but laugh, crossing his arms and giving Len a pointed look, “We are just a few years away from spending our lives in space, and you're afraid of a motorcycle?”

    Len didn’t quite know what to say to that because the kid did have a point… of course.

    Jim shook his head in amusement and turned to the bike. When he turned back he had a helmet in his hand and took a step towards Len. He stepped away with his hands out but Jim persisted and got in his space.

  “Remember when I said I trusted you, Bones, that I willingly gave you my life no matter what?” Len nodded, “I would never let anything happen to you, Bones.”

    “I know you wouldn’t Jim.”

    Jim shuffled the helmet between his hands before looking Len in the eyes, “Do you trust me?”

    Len looked at the helmet and smiled, “Of course I do, Jim.”

    Jim returned his smile and placed the helmet on Len's head, helping him to fasten it. A few minutes later Jim was in front with Len behind him, clutching desperately to Jim as they slowly pulled out of the garage and down the long driveway. Little did they know Gran stood watching them from the porch with a smile as Jim turned out of the driveway and disappeared down the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~

    Jim didn’t take them too far, knowing that Len was already sceptical about being on the bike in the first place. So he found a softly lit hiking trail a few minutes down the road and pulled into the small lot and parked the bike. Jim helped Len with his helmet again before taking his hand and leading him down the path. It was short, coming to a cliff at the end over looking a small city below, and the light from the almost full moon shone brightly over top of them.

    Len lead Jim to the edge and they sat with their legs over the side for a while in a comfortable silence before Jim turned to face Len, Len following suit.

    “So,” Jim began, fiddling with the small wrapped package in his jacket pocket, “I… I do have one last gift for you.”

    Len smiled, shaking his head, “Kid, really, you didn’t have to get me anything at all. Everything you’ve already done has been more then enough.”

    “But everything so far has been things you'll just remember, where as this is something you can keep forever. Something you can see and touch everyday, or as long as you want it, that is.” Jim hesitates a moment before pulling the box out and handing it to Len, “I… I hope you like it.”

    Len took the small package and slowly unwrapped it to reveal a small box. He popped the lid off and pulled out the item inside. A simple silver chain held a round medallion, also silver but with Starfleet's medical insignia on the front. Len brought the medallion down to rest in the palm of his hand, running his thumb gently over the insignia. It was perfect.

    “Jim I… this is-”

    “Turn it over.”

    Len did as he said and on the back he found two lines of engravings, both numbers. He suddenly found himself speechless, not to mention nearly breathless as his hands began to shake.

    Jim shuffled forwards slightly, brushing their legs together before asking, “Do you know what they mean?”

    Len let out a breathy chuckle, “How could I not?” he finally met eyes with Jim and the tears he had been trying to hold in since Jim's speech at the party flowed freely now, “It’s the star date and coordinates of when we first met. Jim…”

    Jim nodded and suddenly found himself shy, looking away from Len, “Do you like it? I know its not much but-”

    Jim's face was suddenly lifted to face Len, “It’s everything.” Jim reached a hand out to thumb away the tears streaming down Len's face, “This is the best, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. Jim… you don’t know how much this means to me.”

    “Of course I do, Bones, because those engravings mean the same thing to me as I think they do to you.” Len tilted his head in question and waited for Jim to continue, “That stardate and those coordinates were a new beginning, the start of the most amazing years of my life so far. The day I met you everything changed. I was a wash out before then, but you… you make me want to be a better person, the best man I can be. If I hadn’t met you then, Bones, I don’t know where I would be right now. You changed my life, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.”

    Len didn’t even know what to say, because Jim had said it all and said it perfectly. Not to mention he was crying so hard that he didn’t think he’d be able to form coherent words even if he tried, so he did the next best thing. He removed his hand from Jim's chin, running it down Jim's neck and to the back of his head. He pulled him closer and pressed a long kiss to his cheek, then whispered a quick, “thank-you Jim,” before pulling Jim flush against him and burying his face in his neck. Jim did the same and the two of them held each other there for a long time, both occasionally peppering feather light kisses into the others skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~

    Len rubbed his fingers over the medallion he was now holding. Since his birthday back in Georgia with Jim, he hadn’t taken it off, not for one second. He meant what he had said when he told Jim that this necklace was his everything. It held the exact time and location of his first meeting Jim, the exact moment his life turned around for the better, because Jim was his everything and always had been, right from that very first second in Riverside.

    He let the necklace hang out over his shirt, moving his hand to run his fingers through Jim's hair, bringing his forehead to rest on Jim's as he whispered a promise, “Jim, when you wake up and we dock on Earth, I’m taking you back to Georgia for a two week vacation, just you and me. Maybe I’ll mandate that you need a month off duty and we’ll spend all of it in Georgia together, hell maybe we’ll just stay forever like you wanted to when we were... I should have just said yes back then, I should have just stayed with you in Georgia, then none of this would have happened. And when we do go back, when we go home Jim, I’m gunna take you back to that pond and I’m gunna love you, I’m gunna love you so hard Jim. I’m going I make sure you know how much you’ve always meant to me, how much I need you, how much I’ve always loved you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A/N: Another long one for you guys... sorry! But I hope you enjoyed it! A little more fluff to come your way in the next few chapters before it gets worse... O-o And I wanted to give a super special thanks to my girl Katie for helping me figure out the gift that Jim would be giving to Len! I wouldn’t have figured it out if it wasn’t for you XXX Let me know what y’all think and if anyone wants to be tagged in future chapters or works let me know <3

Tags: @goingknowherewastaken @weresilver-in-space @resistance-is-futile81 @0dannyphantom0 @flaminglupine @bi-e-ne @medicatemedrmccoy @haveyouseenmymind @jimboy-mccoy @reading-in-moonlight

[radramblog]

Album Discussion: ANThology (or: A return to my roots)

Those who have been with this blog for the long haul, or who’ve scrolled down all the way to the first couple posts, may recall that there is exactly one “album discussion” that existed before the daily postings you now know and love. That was the original intent for Me Blogging Online: to do weekly reviews of albums I had on CD. Like, if I got one done a week, it’d only take….four years… to get through all of them. Of course, the only one that actually got uploaded was for Hard-Fi’s Stars of CCTV, which is still a pretty good album.

That is not the first one I wrote, however. The first I wrote is a post that never made it beyond my own eyes. Actually I think I sent it to like one person, but it wasn’t in a completed form. I don’t have convenient access to that review anymore- I’m certain I only saved it as a sticky note on a laptop that may or may not still work- but I sure do have access to the album.

The fact that I haven’t listened to it since might indicate how I feel about it. Because this week, we’re getting a blast from the past in more ways than one- it’s Alien Ant Farm’s ANThology.

God help us all.

I will give AAF credit for one thing- naming the first album Greatest Hits and second one Anthology is exactly the meta shit I like when it comes to album names. I’ve said for a while that if I was ever a musician, I’d name my first album “Self-titled Debut” and the second “Underwhelming Followup”. When I was younger and disliked electronic music as a whole (because I was an edgy teenager) I also thought having an electronic instrumental named “Oxymoron” would be quite funny.

I wouldn’t expect much more praise for them, I’m afraid. Because this album is painfully mediocre early 00s nu-metal, and this is coming from someone who likes that stuff. Our first track, Courage, feels like an offcut from a mid-level Limp Bizkit album- the instrumental is fine, but nothing outstanding, and…look, I don’t know if Dryden Mitchell is a nice guy in real life or not, but it’s kind of hard not to come for his ass here. Because he’s really not a great vocalist. A lot of nu-metal was kind of about being ugly and whiny, and my mans just doesn’t hit either angle. Too clean for the genre but not good enough to succeed despite that.

Our second track on the album is Movies, one of its three singles and by far AAF’s second most popular song. Don’t worry, we’ll get to the first one. This song feels much more like something you would hear on the radio back in the day- a cleaner version of the kind of sound these bands were known for, that’s acceptable enough for pop/hit stations to play. Because that was relevant in 2001, and I mean that without sarcasm. Honestly, I remember being kinda harsh on this song when I last listened to the album, but it’s mostly just…inoffensive. The lyrics are romantic in a painfully cheesy way, and the performance and instrumental are both functional at the level of a 00s rock track. It’s just…really forgettable. Its blandness is kind of its downfall, I’m afraid.

Speaking of blandness, I kinda have to skip the next few tracks. Because there is just so little to take from them. Flesh and Bone (Track 3) is at least trying to do something a bit more interesting in the instrumentation in the verses, with this staggered, staccato bit which isn’t bad, but lets it all go in the verse/bridge. Much like Courage felt like an unreleased LB track, Whisper (Track 4) has a bit of a Deftones vibe, but it just makes me want to listen to Around the Fur again Or just loop My Own Summer, because that song fucks, much unlike this album’s 5th track, Summer. And I have actual nothing to say about Sticks and Stones (Track 6). I always feel bad when I’m jumping through songs like this, but this is a genre I actively like, and yet these songs still manage to blend together into a generic sludge.

So we’re going to reach the second single, Attitude. I actually really like the guitar melody this song opens up on, and the way it cuts back into just drums to begin the first verse. Genuinely, the instrumentation on this song is simple, trying to suit the more low-mood of the track, and it actually works. Unfortunately, considering it’s trying to be a more lyrics-driven, emotional track, this is where Dryden’s delivery really lets the whole thing down. If you don’t mind me ruining this entire album: he does a thing where he ends a lot of lines with a little “-ah”, and it’s really noticeable in this track’s chorus. And it gets extremely grating when you notice it. I’d genuinely like to hear a cover of this song, because I do think the non-vocal aspects are solid (well maybe the lyrics are a bit shite), but as it is, I can’t say I give this one a pass.

My plan was to cut ahead to the third and final single on this album, but there’s another song on here that randomly has more listens than Attitude despite not being a single- Track 9, Wish. You weren’t missing much on Track 8. Wish is at least an excuse to say another nice thing about this album and band- they’re clearly trying to do a bunch of different things within the space of the album. The guitarwork on Wish’s verses has that chugging tone reminiscent of System of a Down, and the track as a whole is definitely one of the better ones. The…bridge? I think? Is kind of godawful, though, if I’m honest. This is a track that I think needed a couple extra passes, and could have been great if it got them, but as it is is just kind of eh.

So all of this begs the question. Why the fuck am I talking about this album? I mean, it’s because it’s the first album I really ever wrote about, but beyond that- why did I write about it all that time ago? I think it actually might have been two years ago, when I decided to do that, and since then I’ve learned a lot about how I like to write about music, what music I like to write about, et cetera. But when I first started, I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing, I was basically doing things on a whim. So why this album? Why Anthology?

Well, that’s because of Track 12, which I guarantee you’ve heard before. And if you haven’t, then I’m so, so fucking glad I get to introduce you to this.

That’s right, these guys are the ones who did the Smooth Criminal cover. And they own that shit. It’s the most popular song they’ve ever done by an order of magnitude, two orders more popular than the album as a whole, and the one-hit-wonder that brought them up and brought them low.

The difference between this cover and the rest of the album is utterly jarring. Smooth Criminal was always a very good, very funky song, but this translation has such an incredible bouncy energy that it’s hard not to get into it. And I can tell you right now that nothing else on the album sounds like this. It’s kind of surprising- like you’d think a band’s one cover would be roughly in the same style as the rest of their work, but while this is undoubtedly a Nu Metal Smooth Criminal, it just has a power and swagger about it that would have been lovely to see for the rest of it.

I guarantee if you’ve heard of this band it’s because of this cover. It’s how I knew about them. If you want a more big-brain analysis of the whole thing, probably check out Todd in the Shadows’s video about the track, because it’s better researched and more nuanced from someone with more music knowledge than I. But what I can tell you is that it’s clearly the best track on the album, and it’s not particularly close.

And that’s the album. Well, no it isn’t, there’s still Universe and the bonus track, one of the few I can remember where Spotify doesn’t just separate it out from the last song. Universe is actually pretty okay, surprisingly grim-sounding which I do like, and the hidden song (“Orange Appeal”) kinda sounds like a remix of something from the Left 4 Dead 2 soundtrack. But It might as well be the end of the album. Like, Smooth Criminal is why we’re all here, right? I suppose putting it so close to the end was a good move to make people actually listen to the album, but you do risk people zoning out through the album’s dregs.

Anthology is kind of the ur-example of a one hit wonder band’s album that…kind of deserved it. A lot of the time, you find a one hit wonder, and it’s like dang, they’ve actually got some really good stuff that deserves time in the spotlight (e.g. The Veronicas, The Raconteurs arguably Franz Ferdinand), but Alien Ant Farm…kind of aren’t one of them, based on this. I think it is extremely telling that the most recent output by the band- a 2020 single that’s the first new music from them since a 2015 album that isn’t even on Spotify- is another cover, of Wham!’s Everything She Wants. It’s decent? Like, better than most of Anthology easily.

The long and short is, you can probably miss this album completely with the exception of Smooth Criminal and be completely fine. Even if you are into this genre, you can probably miss it, unless you’re really hunting for new material. It’s a forgettable album, unfortunately, which isn’t great when it contains your one hit track.

And yet I think this is still less harsh than I was the last time I wrote about this record. I remember jumping around a lot more, and going in way harder on the vocals. I remember slagging off the actual album cover and lyrics booklet (it’s real bad!), because the idea was I was talking about the whole CD package as well as the music. But I also remember not having as much to compliment, so I suppose maybe I’ve matured a bit. I’d like to think that. Maybe at some point I’ll try and dig up the old original ramble, but for now, I’m happy for this to be my final word on Alien Ant Farm.

[musicforsurvivors]

Housebroken - The Hotelier 

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Parental Abuse

Genre: Rock

Lyrics:

We called off your guard as we entered the yard To convince you to redirect some of that rage Because who fed you rocks while they ate their thanksgiving And who left you out all alone in their cage And when you were a pup, I watched you so close You ran straight to the distance allowed by his rope You got kicked, you got choked, phrases crept up your spine When he said “we must keep our bitches in line” And on his poker nights he says the same of his wife He’s the top dog/pack leader/true alpha-male So make no sudden moves keep your nose from the border You move fast. You eat last this side of pecking-order So why don’t you come with me? We’ve got acres with streams. We won’t keep you in cages/make you beg for your treats. We won’t tell you to heel, though you might need some time to Dig up those old bones your young self left behind You said “Your offer is nice but here should suffice. Yeah, my younger years were something but that isn’t my life. Master is all that I’ve got. He keeps me having a purpose, gives me bed, keeps me fed. And I’m just slightly nervous of what I might do if I were let loose, if I caught that mail car, or ate garbage for food. So, as I bare all my teeth I will ask of you please to just leave.” Well your heart has spoken I feel you’re already house broken Well I made you a hood ornament for an oncoming car Because your bark might seem bad but I’ll show you the scars From when the state sent you over to deliver your teeth To the heels of your kindred breaking chains from their feet And then you wipe your hands clean. Splash of water/paper napkin While the parrots sing headlines, we wear the leash like a fashion Try to take out my claws expect a visceral reaction Try to muzzle me up, I’ll lash out, I’ll bite back and Keep my options open For fear of becoming housebroken

[penumbra-rp]

Congratulations Ricci, you have been accepted for the role of Marlene Mckinnon!

Thirty’s a dirty word for a young woman. Simultaneously, she’s failed to grow up yet succeeds in decaying. Grief doesn’t die, and nor does guilt, but kinder feelings perish slowly, driving Marlene to sigh through Order meetings, feeling hope’s rotting carrion reek a new stench of cynicism. She admits to nobody that she doesn’t believe in any of it. Still, she tries to cling to their ideals, praying that she might earn something for herself as a witness to the sincerity of their hope, waiting for a spark of life to reawaken amidst their earnestness of their idealism.

Admin Becky: Marlene has shaken off her past and shed the weight of perfectionism like a creature determined to find a new, more comfortable skin to grow into. Her stubborn cynicism will undoubtedly help keep the Order grounded, whilst those who dream of cutting corruption out of society may provide her with sparks of hope to alight the kindling of blind rebellion in her chest. I adore how she has formed a sense of maternal kinship towards all those looking to do the same, turning her into something of a figurehead, a beacon, for all those who are lost in the world as she had once been. It makes her so perfect for the Leaky Bucket, her sharpness enough to defend a place that is much a home to some people as it is a refuge.

Please check out our checklist for joining Penumbra.

01. Out of Character

NAME: Ricci

AGE: 20

YOUR BIRTHDAY: 01/25/99

PRONOUNS: she/her

TIMEZONE: GMT+8

02. In Character

CHARACTER: Marlene McKinnon

CHARACTER’S PRONOUNS: she/her

FACECLAIM: I’d like to play Sonoya Mizuno because having no titties is integral to Marlene as a person.

CHARACTER’S BIRTHDAY: 05/27/89

PERSONALITY:

[ + ] Diligent - Though most may assume such based on the careless with which she carries herself, Marlene isn’t lazy, just selective about what matters to her. When she finds something she cares about, she puts her all into making it work. Seeing the fruit of heartful labor is incredibly rewarding for her.

[ + ] Understanding - An unexpectedly sharp mind accompanies a secretly tender heart, and the combination allows Marlene to easily see situations through the eyes of others… when she wants to.

[ + ] Maternal - Deny it she may, but behind her mask of recklessness and flippancy is a woman that cares deeply about the people in her life. She notices that Order members are getting younger and younger and is overwhelmed with the desire to protect them, wanting to save them from suffering from the same cynicism she regards the world with.

[ + ] Bold - Whether it’s feigned or not is up to debate, but Marlene carries herself with a certain kind of confidence, unwilling to expose her vulnerabilities to anybody she isn’t close to. She isn’t afraid to take risks if it’s for something she cares about or believes in.

[ + ] Self-destructive - Her past history with family deaths and abandonment has left residues of self-loathing within her. Though not explicitly self-hating, Marlene occasionally regards her life with very little care, preferring thrill and adrenaline over her own welfare and safety.

[ + ] Hedonistic - When the working day is done: girls – they wanna have fun. Girls just wanna have fun. That’s all they really want.

[ + ] Irresponsible - It’s the first thing anybody notices. Laid-back and free-spirited as she is, Marlene prefers not to take herself, or life, seriously, preferring to face the tragedies of the world with a sharp wit and a strange, vulgar sense of humor. If life’s a joke, be the first to laugh, she says.

[ + ] Turbulent - Though never easily angered, Marlene is prone to bouts of mania and sadness, her emotions as ever-shifting as the earth’s climate ( thank you, Carrow energies ). She is driven less by ambitions and more by impulses, riding the next new wave of excitement whenever it comes.

BRIEF BULLET POINT BIO:

- Marlene McKinnon is twenty-six years old when her mother takes her own life. Midori, she says, nervous fingers flicking the corners of a page she has yet to read as her gaze lifts to meet the pairs of eyes stare, with scrutiny or with pity, at the newly-orphaned woman standing behind the funeral parlor podium. It should be easy to talk about a woman so many had loved (West End loses its angel to heaven, the obituary had said,) — but Marlene knows her mother has never been one for platitudes. So she tries harder. Midori was a great woman. A great mother. A pause. A breath. There was this time, when I was a kid, I remember —  she starts, and doesn’t finish, because in the precise moment Marlene scours her mind for a happy memory, she comes up empty.

- After half a lifetime of striving to crawl out of her mother’s shadow, it is ironic that death makes Midori’s already pervasive presence near inescapable. Tabloid writers and so-called journalists  hound Marlene with questions and interview requests in some futile attempt at digging up whatever was left of the story her mother failed to bury. Marlene denies them any answers. The facts they pry out of less trustworthy sources are somehow mostly correct:  Her husband’s death years ago had devastated her, but the marriage was tumultuous. She has not spoken to her daughter in more than five years. She left her with nothing.

- Nothing material. That much is true. The pain of abandonment stings but the blow hardly hurts her financially. In fact, she’s proud to say that in half a decade of estrangement, Marlene has built herself a place she could call her own. London isn’t the kindest to neophyte businesswomen, yet the Leaky Bucket has only blossomed under Marlene’s management, slowly growing into a home for scrappy university students and young adult delinquents, far rowdier than the upper class crowd her mother once surrounded herself with. It’s chaos, but it’s hers. Sometimes, her self-made success bears fruit to kinder daydreams. In the best of her imagination, she gets to greet Midori’s disgusted scowl with a grin and a sardonic, “Love me yet, ma?” In her worst, it’s Midori that smiles. The woman’s expression softens at the sight of her daughter’s work, her small lips forming words she would never have spoken outside of this contrived daydream: Marlene, I’m so proud of you.

- Midori leaves no will, no note. But all mothers, in some way or another, leave their daughters an inheritance of scars.

- What is hard to love is even harder to grieve. If the world remembers Midori for her voice, Marlene remembers her for her silence. Wide-eyed and love-starved, a child Marlene had begged for her mother’s affection in the only language the woman seemed to speak: achievements. Thus began a childhood of ballet and piano and voice lessons she hardly enjoyed but felt she needed to pursue, insatiate heart seizing whatever scraps of love she might find in her mother’s smallest of smiles. The harder she tried, the harder it got, because the more she strove to become her mother, the more she learned to accept the impossibility of growing into her mother’s insufferable perfection. The child will spend ballet recitals staring at two empty seats, silently praying for an audience she knows will not come. When Midori does come home, exhausted from hours upon hours of theatre rehearsals, Marlene will have her Clair de Lune rendition be dismissed with a cold frown and the words: You can do better. Outside her family, she will receive more appreciation, but her efforts will no doubt invite the disappointed gazes of her mother’s peers, matched with hushed remarks that the demons lurking within Marlene’s mind will later on replay: not as talented, not as charming, not as electric, not as beautiful, not as poised — she’s not her mother.

- Grief, complicated and disquieting, writhes within her bones. “My ma’ named me after Marlene Dietrich,” the present Marlene half laughs as she addresses the funeral visitors. “Guess she knew I was gonna grow up wanting to wear suits and fight Nazis.” This is the the truth, but not the one her gut feels it needs to spit out. Family, she thinks, is synonymous with fracture. Once, she was content with neglecting the word’s brokenness, but death shatters it past the point of repair. Stammering out a eulogy feels like choking on the shards of whatever it was she failed to fix. Inside, the fragments wound her. Later on, the tabloids will speculate the reason behind Midori McKinnon’s death and come to ill-founded conclusions that a self-loathing Marlene will find herself agreeing with: It was her daughter’s fault.

- The desire to become worse than the bad daughter her parents seemed to believe her to be exacerbated during her college years, ignited by the unexpected invitation to a selective extra-curricular club headed by a certain Albus Dumbledore. Eighteen years old and already far too jaded to fully believe in their fanciful ideals of change, Marlene accepted the invitation half-heartedly, less for their causes and more for the new warmth of knowing she belonged somewhere. Still, in their presence, she found herself braver. The long stirring spark of anger finally turned flame, triggering a new pattern of explosive dinner rows with her father, which pushes an already silent Midori deeper and deeper into her shell. The Order of the Phoenix brought about a new era of rebellions: against corporate giants, against her family, against expectations.

- Mostly, she rebelled against herself. Graffitied a body that failed to be perfect, needling ink stains over skin she always loathed wearing, singed her insides with liquor and passed-around party pills. Here is the revolution against the girl who got it all wrong. Staring at the mirror, she made peace with the woman behind the glass — an unwanted daughter who will make herself repulsive if the only alternative was accepting that she was unlovable. Michaelangelo said: I saw an angel in the marble in and carved until I set him free. With the new knowledge that she was not made of marble and possessed no inner angel, Marlene stopped carving herself in her mother’s shape.

- Too many scandals. Too many arrests. They told her she couldn’t come home anymore. She wanted to tell them it never felt like a home anyway, but her anger was quieter than her grief. The stammering of her heart and her eyes’ threat of tears reminded her later that the daughter who craved their love hadn’t died in a revolution fire as she suspected. She just became quieter. The urge to beg for their acceptance was too loud to ignore, but she willed herself to forget it, and with a pocket full of too much borrowed money and her sights on a burnt wreckage, she set off to carve herself a place of her own.

-Only years into adulthood does Marlene learn to blame herself less. It happens sometimes. Some people are built with their atoms all wrong, their fuses too short, their gears too rusty. Brilliant as the public claimed her mind was, to those close to her, it seemed Midori’s brain was short of the ability to process happiness, to register hope. Perhaps it’s merely genetics, or the high stress of nightly West End performances, or perhaps her mother, and her mother’s mother, and every mother that preceded, had all starved their daughters of love — this is their heirloom, this absence — and none of them learned to give what they never received.

- The child Marlene’s dream of becoming her mother sees fruit later on, albeit in all the worst ways. Her eyes are her mother’s. The way they see the world in sepia tones. Her heart is her mother’s. The way it feels bone-hollow and restless in its hunger for colour. Her exhaustion. Her cynicism. Her loneliness. When she hears the news of her mother’s passing, all she can think of is that college summer spent driving a breaknecking Volvo down vacant roads if only to have that adrenaline-roused daydream of collision burst against all her empty.

- Thirty’s a dirty word for a young woman. Simultaneously, she’s failed to grow up yet succeeds in decaying. Grief doesn’t die, and nor does guilt, but kinder feelings perish slowly, driving Marlene to sigh through Order meetings, feeling hope’s rotting carrion reek a new stench of cynicism. She admits to nobody that she doesn’t believe in any of it. Still, she tries to cling to their ideals, praying that she might earn something for herself as a witness to the sincerity of their hope, waiting for a spark of life to reawaken amidst their earnestness of their idealism.

- The younger Order members, with willingness to throw their lives away for impossible ambitions, terrify her to no end. But they awaken something in her, a new protective instinct, a maternal spark. She wants to save them from her fate, defend their youthful optimism from whatever threatens it. Family, she has always believed, is synonymous with fracture. As the Leaky Bucket bustles with the liveliness of young rebels, they sweep up the shards of old and construct a new definition, one that allows hope to blossom, slowly and organically, within Marlene. If she cannot save the world, she will protect every bold soul that has the audacity to try.

INTERVIEW

i. How do you feel about your current occupation?

Marlene lays her back against the wall of the Leaky Bucket’s storefront, offering a wide grin to the video camera in front of her. Turning away, she crosses one leg, plucks a cigarette out of a pack tucked in the small pocket of ripped black jeans, and sets the tail end ablaze with a lighter, less because she feels like having a drag and more because it might look cool on video.

Perhaps it doesn’t, but the inhale of smoke feels good anyway. “I feel incredibly lucky. Enjoying what you do isn’t a privilege everyone is afforded.” Marlene folds her arms, letting her cigarette dangle between two fingers. “My Ma’ used to say that life in late capitalism is like a Japanese claw machine. All the opportunities are laid out in front of you, seemingly within reach, but the chances of getting anything are actually slim to fuckin’ none.” Her mother never actually said that, but the metaphor was too good to go to waste, and attributing her own words to somebody else makes her seem far less pretentious than she feels at the moment. A knife of a smile cuts through her face. “So let’s fuck up all the claw machines, yeah?”

ii. What song would you say describes yourself?

The drums come first. Then, a single chord. Then, the abrupt, unwanted stab of truth — MY GOD, I’M SO LONELY, SO I OPEN THE —

“Off the top of my head?” Marlene laughs a little, a flippant shrug rolling off her shoulders. “No Scrubs?”

Despite her words, a different song plays in her mind without her warranting, echoing from the memory of having it on repeat weeks earlier, a day before her monthly cycle was due. In her hormone-induced despair, Marlene had drowned herself in cheap wine and the honesty of an annoyingly catchy pop song, all at the expense of any perceived rationality. No, she forces her mind to sing, I don’t want your number, no— nobody, nobody, nobody — I ain’t gonna give you mine and no — NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY —

The Marlene of memory sang along as she stared at the bathroom mirror, dragging cotton pads over the streaks of mascara running down her cheeks. Through her tears, she laughed about the melodrama of it all — the runny makeup, the snot on her nose, her being alone, her naked reflection, her illogical emotions — angry and amused when the more practical side of her mind had made an unglamorous acknowledgment of Maybelline eyeliner’s waterproof quality and interrupted the movie-worthiness of her misery, all while she adjusted the seriousness of her expression to validate herself to a nonexistent voyeur that might have found something poetic in her PMS. “I’ve been big and small,” she blubbered through snot and laughs and half-breaths, “And big and small… and big and small… again and…” And still, nobody wants me. Still, nobody… wants… me… “Give me one good movie kiss… and I’ll be…”

NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY! NOBODY!

The Marlene of present tilts her head, leaning back to take a long drag of her cigarette. “Nothing comes to mind, really.”

iii. Does reputation matter to you?

The chorus of tiny Mitskis fall silent in her mind as a new thought interrupts their melody, prompting her fingers to click against her skin with one abrupt snap. “Bad Reputation!” she says, grin falling open in excitement. “Joan Jett. What a fuckin’ banger. Bit cliche,” she adds, dismissing the notion of her own predictability with an expression of mild disdain and a noncommittal wave of her free hand, “but succinct enough to answer both questions. You could say it’s two birds with one Joan.” Marlene punctuates her sentence with a laugh that rings hollower by the second, ever mortified by her own cheesiness, then raises her chin to greet the camera with a wide, self-loathing grin. “Edit that out or I’ll stab somebody.”

iii. …Does reputation matter to you?

The breath she inhales comes out through her nose as a quiet chuckle. “What a unique question. Genuinely.” Her palm strikes her chest, above her heart. “I don’t think I’ve ever been asked this before.”

Marlene’s smile fades as she presses the tip of her cigarette to her lips. After one long drag, she exhales, letting a now pensive gaze rest on the wisps of dissipating smoke.

It’s hard to be honest when it comes at the risk of being known. Past the smoke tendrils, Marlene’s brown eyes linger on the camerawoman in front of her. Small ashes rain from the tail end of her cigarette. An expression of uncharacteristic earnestness sweeps over her features. “It’s a bit…” she trails, biting her lip. “Complicated.”  

If thirty years of life taught Marlene anything, it’s that most women spent their existences doing less growing, and more outgrowing. It’s a hasty generalization that she draws from the narrow pool of her own experiences, but sometimes, she thinks it’s true. Sometimes she looks at women and tries to guess what they hate about themselves. What they like, too. The camera operator is pudgy and small and square-jawed, but she carries herself with confidence behind the lens, as if she knows she belongs  there. The girl is beautiful. Marlene wonders if she can tell it to herself without doubt.

She thinks of a younger Marlene, sixteen and tightening a belt around her waist as far as it could go to create proportions that would distract from the absence in her chest. This younger Marlene is overcritical of her reflection: narrow eyes, a flat nose, small lips.  Reputations, Marlene thinks, stem from appearances, and appearances are all any girl is ever taught to care about. I think all women grow up hating themselves, she doesn’t say.

“The world we live in carries far too much prejudice,” she says instead, though she wonders if serious words carry any weight if they are said by a person that seems to never take anything seriously. Marlene furrows her eyebrows. “I’m a woman of colour and a lesbian. You get things like catcalling, sexism, homophobia, microaggressions. Not all the time, obviously — people aren’t as bad as we make them out to be — but you have all these unpleasant experiences scattered throughout your existence.”

The younger Marlene doesn’t look anyone in the eye. She keeps her head down, afraid that if anyone looks close enough, they’ll discover the dirty secret lurking in her gaze. In the rare occasions where one does find it, it’s not bad, because they’re ecstatic to unearth a glimpse the same irreverence reflected in somebody else’s. The younger Marlene lets another girl slip a hand under her Catholic school uniform and finds that her touch makes her hate herself less, but the thought of being seen sucks the air out of her lungs harder than a belt tied too tightly around her waist.

“Women like me,” she says, drawing her words out slowly as not to let any useless emotions spill out, “all we have to do is exist, and people of more small-minded worlds automatically draw their own conclusions.” Feeling a new load weighing down her shoulders, Marlene shrugs. “We’re born with bad reputations.”

She doesn’t know what she can do for the world. She doesn’t know how to pry the hatred out of women. How to help them outgrow the unnecessary need to be beautiful. She thinks of other, younger, smaller Marlenes out there, wants to teach them to laugh at the absence of mass on their chests and point instead to the pulse heaving against it — there, she will tell them. That’s the most beautiful part of you.

And she thinks of the Marlenes who are afraid of this pulse and what it wants to love. Her heart swells with the urge to save them, but she doesn’t know how. If she could build a world where love was easier, she would. “Does it matter to me? I like to pretend it doesn’t. But I know —“ she pauses, nervous, afraid of being misconstrued, and wills every bit of sincerity to leak through her words. “I know I don’t want anybody else to suffer. So it matters.”

iv. What is your relationship with your parents like?

With a scoff of relief, Marlene decides that her quota for serious answers has been met. “My Da’s Catholic. My Ma’s Asian. I’m a clinically depressed raging homosexual with sixteen tattoos, five piercings, two terminated pregnancies, three previous arrests, zero university diplomas, an alcohol business, a nicotine problem, and a mild to mildly severe addiction to being a little bit of a cunt.” The corner of her mouth curls into a small smirk. Marlene turns to the camera, shooting a wink that brims with both impishness and affection. “Naturally, I’m their pride and joy.”

v. What languages can you speak?

A length of sleek black hair falls over her face as Marlene throws her head down, hand hovering above her mouth to conceal the quiet laugh of a scoff that escapes her throat. “Trickiest question that’s been asked thus far.” Leaning back, Marlene raises an eyebrow, mouth quirked into a flippant smile. “Because I’m getting this sinking feeling there’s a secretly correct answer, and if I don’t give it, the Duolingo Owl will find my address and set my house on fire.”

vi. If your home was on fire and you could only save one item, what would you choose?

Brown eyes widen in mild horror. “…Russian For Beginners.”

vii. Which Hogwarts University faculty did you study at? The Gryffindor School of Applied Science, the Ravenclaw School of Humanities, the Slytherin School of Social Science, or the Hufflepuff School of Art?

“When I was younger, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, just that I wanted to do something good. So Environmental Science.” The fact that Marlene McKinnon studied in Gryffindor surprises a lot of people. The fact that she never finished the course surprises less. “It’s funny, because I think I did a lot more harm than good. In my second year I ended up dating someone in the non-renewable energy industry. I cheated on her — not my best moment — and it pissed her off — understandably so — and long story short, I guess it’s half my fault that there’s now a hole in the ozone layer in the shape of my pussy.”

vix. What is your social media username?

“I don’t want strangers on my personal accounts but —“ Marlene pauses to snag a slip of paper from her pocket, reading off a spiel she had prepared moments ago. “‘Follow The Leaky Bucket on Instagram at Instagram-Dot-Com-Slash-Capital-T-The-Dot-Capital-L-Leaky-Capital-B-Bucket for a chance to access our secret menu.’” Throwing her hand to her forehead in one lazy salute, Marlene turns to the camera and offers a smile and one last farewell wink. “And review us on Yelp, while you’re at it.”

[40ozalctears]

"So why don't you come with me? We've got acres with streams, we won't keep you in cages, make you beg for you treat, we won't tell you to heel, though you might need some time to dig up those old bones your young self left behind", They said: "Your offer is nice, but here should suffice, you see my younger years were something but that isn't my life, master's all that I've got, keeps me having a purpose, gives me bed, keeps me fed, and I'm just slightly nervous of what I might do if I were let loose, if I caught that mail car or ate garbage for food. So as I bare all my teeth, I will ask of you please to just leave." Well your heart has spoken. I feel you're already housebroken. I made you a hood ornament for an oncoming car, because your bark might seem bad, but I'll show you the scars of when the state sent you over to deliver your teeth, to the heels of your kindred, breaking chains from their feet, and then you wipe your hands clean, splash of water, paper napkin, while the parrots sing headlines, we wear the leash like a fashion. Try to take out my claws, expect a visceral reaction, they tried to muzzle me up while I'd shout "I'll bite back!" Keep your options open, for fear of becoming housebroken.

[dorukhaber06]

pop's best new hope: Billie Eilish may only be 15 years old.

New Post has been published on http://www.dododailynews.com/billie-eilish-only-years/

pop's best new hope: Billie Eilish may only be 15 years old.

Billie Eilish may only be 15 years old but she’s already a formidable talent (and a real-life pirate but more on that later).

A member of the Los Angeles Children’s Chorus she wrote her first song – about falling into a black hole – when she was four. But it was her dance instructor who unlocked her talent for smart dark pop songs when he asked her to submit a song for class. Along with her older brother Finneas Billie came up with Ocean Eyes – an astonishingly assured ballad which compared falling in love to falling off a cliff under “napalm skies”. She posted it on Soundcloud so her teacher could hear it went to bed and woke up to a flurry of emails about her burgeoning music career.

Ocean Eyes has racked up nine million plays since Eilish uploaded it to Soundcould last summer

Since then she’s been on a steep upswing signed by Interscope Records and releasing one head-turning track after another. The highlight (so far) is Bellyache in which she sings from the point of view of a conflicted psychopath. “Where’s my mind?” she trills as an acoustic guitar trades blows with a gut-punch drum loop. “Maybe it’s in the gutter where I left my lover.” It’s the pop equivalent of a Tarantino movie – finding comic absurdity in the midst of eye-popping gore. The lyrics might keep it off the radio but Billie isn’t too worried. “I don’t need many people to care” says the singer. “Even if other people don’t like it I like it.” As she gears up to release her first EP Eilish sat down for a frank chat with the BBC about her lyrical fantasies getting to grips with the music industry and her very unusual middle name.

Hello Billie Eilish… Have I pronounced that right? Yes! It’s eye-lish like eyelash with a lish. Your family name is O’Connell though so is that a stage name? It is my middle name. So I’m Bille Eilish Pirate Baird O’Connell. Pirate! That’s an amazing name. Pretty weird right? Pirate was going to be my middle name but then my uncle had a problem with it because pirates are bad. Then Baird is my mother’s name.

The singer co-writes most of her material with her brother Finneas who you may recognise as Alistair from the TV show Glee

It’s been a year since Ocean Eyes went onto Soundcloud. It was written for a dance class right? Oh yeah! My dance teacher knew that I sing so he asked us to make a song and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. My brother had written Ocean Eyes and we recorded it basing all of the production around contemporary and lyrical dance. I think of most songs that way – if you can’t dance to a song it’s not a song. Anyway we put it on Soundcloud literally to send the link to my teacher and then it just grew from there. It’s been played more than nine million times now. When did you notice it was taking off? It was really confusing. I didn’t understand what was going on. I literally thought it was like my popular friend had reposted it. ‘Wow it’s getting so many listens!’

What happened next? A lot of meetings!

“I don’t like it when people know my age” says the singer.

What are those meetings like? Do you go in super-confident like “I’ve got the goods what are you going to offer me?” or is it totally nerve-wracking? I was 13 when this started so I didn’t know anything about anything. I’d go into meetings and they’d say “So Billie what do you think?” and I’d just be like “Am I supposed to know? Because I don’t”. But eventually I got the hang of it. And now the meetings I have are a bit more like “OK Billie what exactly do you want?’ and then I explain every single detail of every single thing that I’m thinking; and people do it! It’s insane. You have stuff floating around in your mind and you tell somebody and they go “Oh yeah we can make that happen”. It’s like “What? WHY?”. So it’s like Spider-Man. With great power comes great responsibility. I am exactly like Spider-Man. I promise. I get the impression from your lyrics especially that you have a very clear idea of the things you want to talk about. How do you approach writing? Lyrics are so important but they’re really underrated. So many lyrics right now are just the same thing – “Oh I love you but I’m sad because you don’t love me and… blah”. You can say that in a more interesting way. Me and my brother write a lot of fiction. Like in Bellyache obviously. I don’t kill people. That’s a relief. Right? But you can put yourself in a character or a situation you would not normally be in. You don’t have to be in love to write a love song. You don’t have to kill somebody to write a song about killing somebody. It’s like jumping into another world.

The singer says she’s been approached to write songs for other people after her own music got noticed

So do you consider it like acting? Or do you really want to murder someone but haven’t got round to it yet? Yikes! Maybe… But both of my parents are actors and I was in plays when I was younger. Then I went to an audition and I came back going “I hate this. I’m not doing this ever again.” What happened at that audition? Some lame stuff dude. But it’s just fun to get to tell a story [in a song]. If you just write about things you’ve been through you might get to a point where you go “I don’t feel like this any more so it’s not worth pursuing”. No. No. It’s especially worth it. What’s the lyric you’re proudest of? Well I wrote Bellyache with my brother and he wrote Ocean Eyes and we have a ton of other songs on the EP that I’m really excited about. Do you find you write better with him than anyone else? We’ve had sessions with artists and writers and producers and not that those sessions were bad but when we write just us together it’s so much more raw I guess. And straight from the heart. Tell me how Bellyache came to be… I wasn’t like “Let’s write a song about killing someone!”. We were sitting in my garage rehearsing for a show with my brother’s friends. Finneas started riffing on the guitar and one of them started playing on the piano and I sang the first line – “Sitting all alone with a mouthful of gum in the driveway”. Then my brother sang “My friends aren’t far in the back of the car” and I was like “Lay their bodies” like I had killed them. And he just said “Woah that’s so cool!”.

The video for Bellyache sees Billie on the run after her crime spree pulling a trolley full of cash

It just grew from there. He came into my room a couple of days later and he was like ‘dude I wrote the chorus for this’. And he sang it all and the last line was “And now I got a bellyache” and I was like “That is genius”. It’s such a childish line. No grown up says “I have a bellyache I gotta go”. But it’s kind of part of the song because it’s about someone whose really young and knows they’re a psychopath. They’re like “Maybe I shouldn’t steal this money and kill these people… but I’m going to anyway”. It’s a very cinematic lyric. You can see the film opening on you in the car then the camera cuts to the bodies in the boot. Some people don’t really realise what I’m saying until they’ve listened to it a couple of times. My friends would be like “Dude I was listening to Bellyache the other day actually listening to it and what the hell were you writing about?”. And then you say “I’m glad you’ve heard it. Now never cross me again”. Exactly. Don’t wrong me. Your new song is called Copycat. What’s that about? You’ll understand when you hear it but it’s about people who feel justified in copying everything you do. It’s not about someone particular I just wrote it. I had two sisters growing up – and that sort of thing seemed to happen quite frequently in their peer groups. Is it a girl thing? It probably is and it’s tortuous. Especially if it’s somebody close to you. It’s like “Be your own self – don’t try to be me!”.

The singer who turned 15 in December is accompanied on the road by her mother

You’ve just played your first headline show in the UK. Do you get nervous? Not really. I don’t get nerves I just get excited. Does your dance training help with confidence and stage presence? Yeah. I mean I was really a dancer. Then I got injured so I haven’t really danced since Ocean Eyes came out. Oh no what happened? I strained my growth plate. My bone separated from my muscle in my hip. It was really bad. It’s so weird because it can’t happen to you if you’re over 16 – but I was in a class with a bunch of seniors because I was at that level. We were doing hip-hop and it just popped. So I haven’t really danced since then which was like a year-and-a-half ago which has been horrible. There is a dance video for Ocean Eyes though so are you on the mend? I was injured for the dance video actually. I had sprained my ankle in Decemberand I had also strained my groin and I have shoulder problems. That’s a sign to concentrate on the music. I guess it is but I’m trying to get back into dance slowly. I love movement. I love moshing. I always heads right for the front and dig in there and mosh really hard with all the guys. None of the girls want to mosh so I’m like the only girl getting punched in the face.