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spookyxsprinkles · 2 months ago

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if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, then i’ll follow you into the dark [chapter 1/?]

hayakawa aki × shy fiend f!reader

-> safe for work (for now) // 4.9k words // AO3. -> warnings: smoking, blood, cheesy, friendship, romance, discrimination, fluff, angst, pining that may or may not be mutual, soft aki, protective aki, eventual smut, eventual romance, canon divergent, fic will get into darker topics as the story progresses but i'll update the warnings as i go, chainsaw man part 1 spoilers.

Devil hunters use devils to kill devils.

The irony was never lost on you. This was a use or get used world, after all.

In the distance, your ears picked up the sounds of a fight. Explosions, rubble falling, metal crunching. It sounded far enough away for you not to worry about closing the convenience store early (not that your boss would’ve let you), but it was still close enough for you to stay alert as you stood on a flipped milk crate, stocking the fridge. The situation seemed to have settled by the time you finished and you allowed yourself to relax.

You were behind the counter reading a romance novel when the smell of dust and blood assaulted your nose, making you look up at the source. The sliding doors let out a melodic chime as a tall man with a top knot dressed in a black suit entered the store, walking straight for the freezers in the back. Your eyes stayed glued to the sword strapped to his back until he was no longer visible from where you stood.

You took a sip from your water bottle before returning your attention back to the book in front of you. Two pages later, you realize you weren’t actually processing the words on the page and, with a sigh, you flip back to try again. You struggled reading the same paragraph over and over until the sound of aluminum cans clanking against the counter top startled you. The man with a top knot (with a sword strapped to his back) had placed canned coffees and an apple in front of you.

“Cigarettes, too.”

Before he could finish pulling out his wallet, you set a white box down on the counter between the two of you. He stared down at the box of Mevius One KS cigarettes with a furrow in his brow and his eyes moved to meet your own.

“I-I have a good nose.” You anxiously look away from him and quickly scan his items, placing them neatly in a plastic bag. “That’ll be ¥4,570.74.”

The man eyed you for a moment, as if studying you, then pulled out his card to insert it into the machine until he noticed a sign with messy handwriting stating that the card machine was out of order. He returned his card back into it’s place in his wallet before pulling out cash and placing it into your outreached hand, his cold fingers brushing against yours as he did so.

“You’re good,” he says quietly.

You suck in a breath at his comment and nod, feeling unsure of how else to respond so you simply thank him for shopping at the convenience store and to have a nice day. You watch his dark form disappear down the street before letting out a sigh of relief as you adjusted the crochet beanie on your head.

Two or three times a week, he would come in to buy canned coffee and cigarettes. The two of you never spoke much beyond pleasantries. (“hello,” “good afternoon,” “have a nice day,” “you too.”)

Currently, he was in the back of the store by the freezers. You tried to keep your attention on your book as you absent-mindedly fidgeted with the sleeve of your over-sized cardigan.

It had been a few short months since you started working here, since you first noticed him. The convenience store wasn’t the closest one to the Public Safety office in Tokyo, but it was still frequented daily by people who worked there, including other devil hunters.

Every now and then you’d stop seeing a face come by the shop and determined that they must have been killed on the job. It wasn’t a secret that devil hunters didn’t have very long lifespans, it was the nature of the job. However, you recently found yourself feeling relieved whenever he stepped over the threshold of the sliding glass doors and greeted you in return.

You weren’t entirely sure why you felt that way. He was obviously attractive, though you doubted that was reason for your feelings.

Still, relieved as you may be, you found it difficult to focus whenever the two of you shared the same four walls.

To you, devils had an acrid smell. The stronger the devil, the more offensive the smell was. You were sure the devil hunter was human, but the scents that lingered on him were the strongest you had smelled in quite a while. The smell was stronger on him than it was on most of the devil hunters you encountered.

He must have worked closely with strong devils and the thought of that frightened you. You once heard a group of devil hunters mention a special division in Public Safety that made devils work for them without free will.

You cautiously cast glance his way as he flipped through a magazine, and you wondered if this devil hunter (your devil hunter) was involved with something as awful as that.

By now, he must have noticed the way you always avoided eye contact with him. You're sure of it.

You try to read but you simply could not focus and you found yourself looking in his direction every few minutes. He walked around the shop, aimlessly browsing, rather than going straight for what he came for like he usually did. You’re tempted by the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him, to get to know him a little (for better or worse), but you bite your tongue.

You wouldn’t know what to say. The majority of your social skills were learnt through reading books.

You notice that sometimes, when the store gets empty, he stares at you for a few moments, as if he wants to say something, before thinking better of it and exiting the store, leaving you to watch him from behind.

You felt your hands shaking more than they usually did whenever he was around. You hoped he didn't notice, though when you looked up at him, you could see him watching you. Your eyes briefly look over at the sword on his back before returning your attention back to the monitor and reading him his total.

You took his money and shakily hand him the receipt, which he takes. You quickly look away and feel his lingering gaze, followed by the small intake of breath. You get the impression that he's about to say something.

You do your best to look busy organizing your space behind the counter. Your hands were trembling, causing you to knock over a candy display. Rolls of mints clattered around your boots and you bend over to pick them up.

You hear the chiming of the sliding doors as they opened and closed and you peeked over the counter to see that he was gone.

A few days later, you’re stocking the freezer with drinks. Despite wearing your cardigan and beanie, you shivered as you struggled to reach the top shelves. You forgot to grab the milk crate from behind the counter to help you reach higher, but with the devil hunter in the store earlier than usual, you decided to quickly wrap up stocking so that you could get back to the counter.

Large, pale hands grasp the can from your hand, making you flinch in surprise. You look over your shoulder and see the devil hunter helping you place the remaining drinks on the top shelf. You swallow hard and avert your eyes from him.

“Thank you...” He nodded then went on his way to continued his shopping. You walk back to the register to wait for him. You felt his gaze on you but you didn’t dare look up away from the register you were pretending to clean. Your head hurt from overthinking.

You checked out his items when he brought them over to you, faster than you usually did. You were eager for him to leave so that you could focus on anything other than him right now.

"A box of Mevius One KS, please."

You were too distracted with your own thoughts that you forgot to give him his cigarettes. You apologize and turn in a hurry to reach for them on the shelf, stepping onto the milk crate, but in your haste you lost your balance. You yelped as you fell onto the cold tile, boxes of cigarettes raining down on your head.

The next thing you knew, he’s behind the counter kneeling beside you, scanning you for any injuries before returning his gaze to yours.

“Are you okay?”

You couldn’t help but notice the concern in his voice. It was a stark contrast to the stoicism he usually exuded whenever he was in the store.

You nod, feeling your cheeks heat up with embarrassment as you looked up at him. You look away again, sitting up despite your butt aching from the fall. You ran a nervous hand through your hair and realized your beanie had fallen off and the devil hunter was staring—right at the pair of fluffy ears on your head.

“You’re…” he pauses, looking at you in a way that was hard to read.

You panicked. You grabbed your beanie from the floor, clumsily hopped over the counter, knocking over the candy display in the process as you ran out of the store.

“Wait! Come back!”

He continued to call out after you, his voice growing more and more distant until you could no longer make out the individual words. Your feet feel like they’re going to give out from underneath you as you sprint along the sidewalk hoping to never see him away.

The following day was your day off, but your boss called you in. He fired you for leaving the store unattended and withheld your final paycheck. When you timidly tried to stand up for yourself, telling him that he couldn’t do that, he said he could because you had no human rights as a fiend.

There was nothing you could do about it.

You managed to find another job in a grocery store on the other side of town. It was farther away from your home, but safer since it lessened the risk of running into the same devil hunter again.

A few weeks later, you were working the register when you recognized his scent. Your eyes widened in horror when you realized he had found you. The two of you stared at each other.

His expression was stern and focused. There’s no trace of the gentleness he’d shown last time. A depressing reminder that this man wasn’t just a man and you weren’t just a woman.

He was here to kill you, or worse.

You were frozen in place. It’s only when he begins to approach you that you remember to breathe. You trembled fearfully as he stood in front of you.

“Hey—”

“P-Please don’t hurt me,” you sputtered out from behind the register.

His expression softens, but his eyes are steady, resolute. You can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s trying to convey some sort of message to you.

“I’m not going to kill you, don’t worry,” he replies calmly. “I’m not here to harm you in any way.”

"But you're a devil hunter... are you here to capture me and force me to work for Public Safety?"

"No."

You don’t believe him and flinch away when he pulls something from his inner suit pocket.

An envelope.

"I realized you were probably scared of being hunted, so I didn’t chase you. I went looking for you back at the convenience store the next day. Your boss said you were fired. I found out he illegally withheld your final paycheck, so I've been searching for you to return it."

Your brows furrow as he places the envelope on the counter. You weren't sure if you could trust him or not. His eyes never left your face as you looked down at the envelope then back up at him. You're not sure what to say or do, but his quiet, patient composure is a stark contrast to his intimidating presence earlier.

He gestures towards the envelope. “You can open it. I’m not trying to force you to join Public Safety. I’m simply making sure you get what’s rightfully yours. You can’t exactly sue him.”

The fact that he seemed so confident that this was going to change everything, that you're going to trust him, sends your brain into overdrive. You don't know what to do.

“Open it," he says quietly. Gently.

You hesitantly reach for the envelope and open it, finding the money your former boss denied you of. You expect him to demand something from you in return, but he quietly walked out of the store.

A couple of weeks later, you pick up his scent again as you’re stacking a table with cans on sale. You noticed he was accompanied by two others with inhuman scents. Both strong and familiar smells that you’ve smelled on him in the past. Devils. In the grocery store? Their casual-wear made it seem like they weren’t on official business and based on the way they were acting, the three of them seemed close.

You were nearly finished with stacking the can display, when the devils accidentally ran their cart into the table, knocking over the cans. The devil hunter turned at the sound and came over.

You’re on your knees, picking up cans and placing them back on the table to get them off the floor. The devils snickered, until the devil hunter scolded them.

"Can you two knock it off and help pick those up?"

For some reason that makes you feel embarrassed and you tell him that it’s okay. “It was an accident. Don’t worry, it’s my job to do this...”

His gaze meets yours.

“Hey," he says quietly as he approaches the knocked over cans. After taking a quick glance at you, he begins to clean up the mess while the devils continued to bicker and argue as they stacked, making a competition out of it. The way they carried themselves, like bickering siblings. Not that you would know personally, but it reminded you of siblings in the stories you’ve read. You were wondering how old they were when you realized just how tall the devil hunter actually is; he seems to dwarf the other two.

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking at the fallen cans lying on the floor. You could feel his eyes on you, looking over you as though checking to see any sign of injuries. You sneak a peek at him, noticing his eyes glancing at the beanie on your head. The beanie that covered your devil ears.

You nod, your timid and nervous nature getting in the way of the moment. He scolds the others and eventually gives them the task of doing the rest of the shopping and offering them a snack reward. They run off excitedly with the cart as he helped you stack the cans. The two of you worked quietly.

He continued helping you for a bit longer, his presence soothing rather than intimidating like before. Then, once you finish stacking the cans on the shelf, he steps back for a moment as though hesitating.

You glance at him nervously, nodding as you chewed on your bottom lip. You wondered if it’d be rude to walk away right now. Probably.

"Are you busy after work?"

Your eyes widen, and you can feel your heart beginning to beat faster. You can hear the others laughing in the distance, clearly not paying attention to the conversation taking place.

"Yes," you lied.

He made a face, as if he could easily tell that you had just lied from your tone and nervous body language, but nodded anyways. He offered to buy you something to eat as an apology for the cans and for being the reason you lost your previous job at the convenience store.

"Will I... owe you?"

"No."

You weren’t sure whether or not you should trust him. So far, he seemed to have your best interests in mind, though you knew that could also be a trick. You decided to take a leap of faith.

"Apples. I like apples."

His expression remained stoic and you felt vulnerable under his watchful gaze. People who knew you were not human treated you differently, saw you differently. To them, you felt invisible and disposable. Like something to be used and tossed away when it became too much trouble. The way this devil hunter looked at you now was different than how he used to look at you when he thought you were a human like him, but it also didn’t feel like he thought of you as something less than him. The way he was looking at you right now made you feel like your heart was in your throat. You try to swallow it back down.

“Apples?” He gives a small nod. "Then I'll buy you some.”

He buys you a bag of apples.

It becomes routine.

Whenever he stops by the grocery store, he would leave you with a bag of apples.

It was the kindest thing a human had ever done for you.

You craved speaking with him, not really getting much positive attention from others. You felt lonely and wondered if he could tell. You didn't trust humans but you wanted to trust him. You really wanted to trust him.

So, you tried talking to him a little bit. It was awkward and you were as clumsy with your words as you were with your body but in a few months, the two of you were able to have casual small talk. You were so happy to be able to joke with him, even just a little bit.

Your relationship with him grew over time with these simple interactions, these little moments of kindness that he showed you.

This is a stark contrast to the way devil hunters and civilians had treated you in the past. Their disdain for devils would get in the way of your interactions, but you didn’t have that problem with your devil hunter. Seeing him with his devil friends gave you hope.

You looked forward to his visits. His presence is a quiet one. He doesn't expect anything from you, nor does he ask much about you yet here you are, talking almost like... friends.

"Th-Thank you, Mr. Hayakawa." You speak his name for the first time, a bit timidly. You learned it a couple of months ago when he asked to be signed up for the grocery store’s rewards program, but you never said it out loud until now. He had just bought you apples again and you wanted to thank him.

His expression was as gentle as his voice. "Just Aki is fine."

The way he holds himself seems to have loosened up considerably. His shoulders, once stiff and tense, now hang loosely by his sides. He no longer seems quite as intimidating. And you're not sure how exactly, but it almost seems as if his presence becomes... softer.

You nod, feeling your face heat up. "Sorry, th-thank you, Mr. A-Aki..!"

You can't tell if there's a small hint of amusement in his eyes, but then again, he's hard to read.

"Why 'Mr. Aki'?" He asks you curiously.

"Did I say something wrong? Would you prefer a different title?" You nervously fiddle with your fingers.

His eyebrows knit together slightly, as though thinking. “It’s not really needed, I guess. You don't need to call me by any title or honorific. Aki's enough..." He trails off.

"O-Okay... A-Aki..."

You felt your face heat even more from being allowed to refer to him so informally. You have never spoken someone's name so casually before. You distract yourself by stiffly scanning the rest of his items.

He eyes the bag of apples sitting at the end of the register’s moving belt. "Did you want anything else?" He asks, his eyes looking back to you. Your eyes widen and you shake your head furiously, knocking your beanie off balance, slightly revealing the bottom of one of your fluffy ears. Aki eyes it, wondering if you’d notice it in time to fix it before anyone else saw it.

"No, no I'm okay! Really! The apples are good. I love apples. I-I... Thank you, Aki."

"Are you sure?" He asks and from the way his eyes were staring at your cheeks you knew he was aware you were feeling very flustered right now.

Aki’s eyes return to your visible ear. You were beginning to feel self-conscious when he leaned over the counter of the register and adjusted your beanie. “Your ear was showing. Sorry.”

You flinched at the sudden contact and as he pulled away, you grabbed his wrists without thinking. You hold onto him for a moment.

The air around you seems to heat up slightly, the intensity of your gaze rather palpable. You feel a shiver run down your spine at the closeness of the situation and notice his eyebrow raising in confusion. He seemed a little surprised by how close you are to him, but he doesn't back away. The sound of someone sneezing snapped you out of your daze and you released him.

You back away from the register, avoiding his eyes and mumbling a series of apologies before making up some excuse about needing to unclog a toilet.

(Aki watched you run off towards the back. He could still feel the warmth of your hands around his wrists as he left the store).

The next few times Aki went to the store, you weren’t around. He asks the manager about you and she said that you took a few weeks off.

Aki wondered why and if it had anything to do with what happened.

As the days passed, his curiosity over why you weren’t around grew. He doesn’t know if your last encounter with him had anything to do with that, but he hoped that it didn’t.

Your absence brought about a certain sense of loneliness, and though he’s never admitted it to himself, he starts to miss you and the moments that you’d shared with one another.

You return a month later, avoiding Aki's eyes as you scanned his items. You were quiet today.

As you return to your old routine, you feel Aki’s eyes trailing you. He keeps to himself and gives you space, but he’s still observant as you worked. Something had changed in your demeanor. You're being polite but distant, keeping your distance from him and not speaking unless absolutely necessary. You’re not like yourself at all. He doesn’t know why and it makes his curiosity grow even more.

"Is something wrong?" He leans forward a bit, wondering if he'd done something wrong.

"No..." You say quietly as you handed him his change, careful not to touch him.

The way that you speak makes him certain that there is something wrong; he's known you long enough to tell. Your avoidance is what catches his attention however.

You bag his items and another customer sets their items down on the belt for you to scan. There are plenty of people lining up behind Aki, so you turn your attention to the next customer as you bag his items.

“Is this about me?” He asks, once the customers have cleared the line-up. He’d been watching you interact with the other customers and noticed that you weren't behaving this way with them. Only with him.

"Yes," you say hesitantly, "But you didn't do anything wrong. It's me that's the problem..." Your face burns red. "Please don't worry about it."

"Well, now you've got me worried," he replies, his usual stoic expression giving way to genuine concern. "You've been acting a bit strange. Like something happened."

"It-It doesn't feel appropriate to say, so I'd really rather we didn't get into it." You say as you fiddled with your fingers. "It's nothing worth worrying about. Nothing bad happened and I don't think ill of you, Mr- I mean, Aki."

If he wasn’t so worried, he would've quietly laughed at your little slip up. Aki watches you as you fiddle with your fingers, a bit more concerned now. He doesn’t like not being able to figure out what’s been on your mind this entire time.

You’re keeping things vague, and it’s driving him crazy.

"So, this has nothing to do with our last interaction?" he asks you, genuinely curious.

Your face reddens even more, "It... it may have something to do with that..." You look at the clock on the wall before timidly looking at Aki. "If it's okay with you, can we talk about it after my shift ends in 20 minutes..?"

He nods, still trying not to let any emotion appear on his face.

"That’s fine. I'll be waiting for you outside if that’s okay.”

Fifty minutes later, you run outside, panting heavily.

"S-Sorry for taking so long. You didn't have to wait." Your hands squeezed at the strap of your cross body bag.

"I don't mind," he tells you. You notice the way his eyes scan your face, as if he's looking for something in particular. Like he's trying to figure something out. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay. Thank you, Aki." You chew on your bottom lip as you look at him. It all suddenly feels too real and you look down at the ground again. "I-I'm not being weird because you did something wrong. I've been acting strangely because I've recently realized my... my feelings. I'm sorry." You say quietly.

"Ah..." Aki replies softly, his attention glued to you as you nervously chew on your lip. "Can I ask you something?"

You nod. (In your head, you were mentally preparing for him to tell you to work at a different store so that he never has to see your devil face ever again.)

"You said that you've recently realized your feelings, but..." he pauses. "How long have you actually liked me?" There's a teasing smile playing on his lips.

Your ears perk up on your head, shifting your beanie slightly. "Not long! I swear, I promise it's only recent. It wasn't until I went home after the last time I saw you, when you were fixing my hat, that I realized there might be some feelings from my end. I promise I had no ulterior motives during the last ten months."

"Just how recent are we talking?"

"...Actually, maybe I did have an ulterior motive. No, not maybe. I did have one."

Your ears moved under the beanie, knocking it off of your head. Your ears lay flat against your head, like if you did something wrong.

“Really?” Aki raises an eyebrow, "What was your ulterior motive?"

"I…” You spoke quietly while staring down at his shoes. “I wanted to be your friend."

There’s a long moment of silence.

“...That’s an ulterior motive?” he asks, a hint of amusement returning to his voice. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

"Of course it is..! It was something I wanted that you didn't know I wanted. That's the definition, right?" Your face is red and your ears twitch but remain flat. "You were always so kind to me and whenever I saw you and Power and Denji behaving so familiar with each other I-I wanted that too." Your voice cracked and your eyes welled with tears.

Aki’s kindness meant the world to you and you wanted to be a part of his world, too.

He picked your beanie up off of the ground and dusted it off before placing it back on your head, carefully covering your ears for you.

“It is technically an ulterior motive,” Aki admits. He looks away from your eyes, to the ground between the two of you. “Is that really the main reason you kept talking to me?”

You nodded while trying to make yourself look at his face,

"I like you, in both senses of the word, but the platonic meaning is what I value the most. You've treated me with kindness and patience, even when I pretended to act like I was bad at my job just so I could have a few extra seconds of time with you."

Aki's expression softens.

“Do you want to come over my place for dinner?”

“Huh!?” Your eyes nearly pop out of your head at his sudden question, “Where did that come from?”

“Denji and Power will be there, too...” He trailed off.

“No, it’s okay. Thank you for the offer, though. I appreciate it but I don’t want to impose.”

“You won’t be imposing.”

He walks you to his car and when he unlocks it, you open the door to the backseat. He says you could sit up front if you wanted to. So you do. He helps secure your seat belt since you weren’t doing it quite right.

“Sorry. I’ve never used a seat belt before.”

“Never?” He asks as he maneuvers the car around the parking lot.

“Never.”

He stops, waiting for a chance to safely enter the street and takes that moment to glance at you from the corner of his eye. “You can open the window, if you want.”

Your ears perk up, pushing the beanie off of your head and onto your lap. Aki tells you which button to press and soon enough, your window was all the way down.

“Thank you, Aki.”

He nods, making a noise of acknowledgment as he turned the car onto the street. You stuck your head out the window to feel the wind whipping at your grinning face. And as Aki drove the two of you to his home, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t mind getting used to this.

#aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x reader #aki x reader #chainsaw man #aki hayakawa #hayakawa x reader #csm #fiend reader #reader insert #reader-insert #aki hayakawa x y/n #aki hayakawa x you #aki x you #aki x y/n #i hope i tagged it well enough sorry if you see this w/o wanting to #lots of mistakes but that's okay it's almost 6am i did my 11/11 post #will not be posting colour theory pt. 3 sonata chapter 1 today sowwyyy #trust me i'm trying to work on it and i have had the general story noted down but i'm having issues #i need to redo my notes bc i've made a lot of changes over the past year and a half and i need to be sure i have all the details and dates #correct or else i will explode #this was supposed to be one of my halloween posts but my tummy pains ended up being a kidney stone :(#still in pain but at least i have meds and i'm not getting nausea just from reading #csm x reader #csm x you #csm x y/n #chainsaw man x reader #if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks then i’ll follow you into the dark #this may be my only csm/aki fic idk i don't really have plans for any more and it's been a year since i wrote the og version of this #it will be at least 20 chapters i think #i hope

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chiropteracupola · 9 months ago

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once again focusing in on dragon-surgeons with laserlike aim. we have several thoughts on this passage, which are as follows:

one: how does one dissect a dragon. what are they doing it with. are there attendants here with those massive two-person saws for this purpose, with the doctors spectating and directing? are the surgeons the guys with the massive saws? the dragons are So big compared to the people, are they crawling around in there? do they have students in attendance as they might at a human dissection?

two: 'dissection' is such a particular choice of word here. if you are taking apart your Coworker after their death that is an Autopsy. if you are taking apart an animal for food after their death that is Butchering, and if you are taking it apart for science that is a Necropsy. it is, what, 1806? dissection is scientific and not really for people you are regarding as People right about now. this is such a Way of pointing out the Strange Social Position of dragons in temeraireverse.

three: again I ask. how does one Become a dragon-surgeon. keynes seems to be equally adept at human medicine, and on his various adventures up to this point laurence hasn't been provided with an additional surgeon for his crew as well as for his dragon. what kind of medical school operations are going on in england and scotland to allow this guy Training. are medical students from edinburgh being funneled out to the covert at (iirc fictional) loch laggan to study dragons? what is the Draconic opinion on post-mortem disassembly for scientific purposes?

#em is posting about temeraire #temeraire #<- long-ish post so I'll maintag. and I COULD GO FARTHER WITH THIS I TELL YOU.#if I was going to go farther it Would be that I need to have Thoughts on the interconnection of dragons and religion #are dragons considered sentient enough by the c of e to get resurrected at the end of days?#depending on the view of that is it christian-morally Okay to dissect a dragon? ARE DRAGONS CONSIDERED TO HAVE SOULS?#I MAY BE OVERTHINKING IT. HELP.#for maximum Recursive Overcomplication of Thoughts please imagine the wretched gamechanger song looping as you read this post.#it is Stuck in my Head and I am not helping the situation by Playing it on loop as well.

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recurring-polynya · 3 months ago

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Good morning, happy Thursday, who wants to read a fun idea I had about giants in Soul Society?

So! I was reading this @littleeyesofpallas post about wuxing symbolism and was particularly struck by this passage in a section about the gate guardians:

There is no central guard but conspicuously Kirinji's name comes from Qilin, but apparently according to official height he's actually not nearly as tall as Kubo's drawings always made him seem. Not that he was on the same scale as the gate guardians even then...

No, I said to myself, of course not. He's powerful enough to control his size, because I was thinking of the part where Grand Fisher claims Isshin is too small to defeat him and Isshin responds with a lecture on soul reaper lore:

Now, bodies are not swords, but maybe the same mechanic applies! It certainly applies to Hollows. Earlier in this same scene, Kon mistakes Grand Fisher for a Menos Grande, and Grand Fisher is insulted by the comparison, but it's the same thing. Menos are huge and scary, but when they become Arrancar, they shrink down and become scarier. [Aside: I think this is why the Yammy-is-secretly-Espada-0 reveal doesn't quite manage to hit. It goes against the lore Kubo has been laying down for ages]

On a meta level, this is just a shounen storytelling tactic where X is an indicator of strength, but then later on, it's like "Reverse Uno! Not-X is the real indicator of strength!!" That's exactly how this zanpakutou-size thing is used when it's first introduced.

Exhibit A: Renji, a court jester, being impressed by the size of Ichigo's sword:

Exhibit B: A handful of issues later, Urahara, an intellectual (lol), sets us straight:

Genre convention or not, I think it lends itself some interesting world-building. Among low-powered people, size is impressive, but as you scale the ranks of power, it's kind of pathetic. Weirdly large people are like the petty bourgeoisie of Soul Society power dynamics.

But that's actually the perfect niche for a gatekeeper! In general, your typical Joe Shinigami is going to be able to take on just about any rando from the Rukongai, but maybe not a particularly strong ryouka. Ganju was able to take on Yumichika, after all. A single shinigami wouldn't be able to take on a planned rebellion, like in the Bount arc, and they've got to, like, sleep and stuff. The Gotei could, in theory, have an entire gatehouse and a gate patrol, etc, but that they are perpetually short-staffed as-is. Instead, how about one medium-powerful gatekeeper whose size makes them well-suited for fighting groups of people (or siege weapons), and who is going to be intimidating overall?

Furthermore, it's implied that Jidanbou isn't actually a shinigami. He wears a shihakushou, but his axes don't seem to be a zanpakutou (he doesn't release them and is distressed when they are destroyed). His neighbors offer this comment on him:

It's not quite right, though: after all, many shinigami are from Rukongai, including Gin, who is the reason Jidanbou is being healed at the very moment this panel takes place. I think what this guy means is that Jidanbou is of Rukongai, which is to say not of the Seireitei.

So what is he, then? Here's my big idea: I think that the gigantism in Soul Society might actually be a reiatsu-developmental disability! It's always been my impression that growth, especially for powerful people, happens in fits and spurts, rather than linearly, and that furthermore, big changes in growth tend to coincide with developments in reiryouku. Somewhere, either in childhood or adolescence, someone's spiritual pressure grows more quickly than their control over it, which results in their body growing uncontrollably. They become very powerful "physically", but their strength is all in their mass/reishi, which takes most of their spiritual pressure to control. This may end up limiting the upper end of power they are able to achieve and some cases means they get cut off entirely from the other forms of power used by shinigami (connecting to a zanpakutou, kidou). I think this might be especially common in children from the Rukongai, who lack access to education and training. I can also imagine it leading itself to cautionary tales in the outer Rukon that if you feed your hungry children too much, you'll end up with a giant on your hands.

This offers one explanation to why Jidanbou is a giant and his brother Jiroubou is large, but not remotely on the same scale (the Souls Data Book lists his height at 7'7" vs Jidanbou's 32'5"). There are a handful of other shinigami of larger-than-human height, which could be a milder form of this, or it could mean that some sort of special training or medical intervention helped keep their growth manageable. I think you can squeeze in a lot of interesting character insights into this headcanon, from Hachi (8'5"), who perhaps worked exceptionally hard in an effort to control his power and ended becoming incredibly skilled at kidou as a result (interesting that he, too, is not actually a shinigami). Or Oomaeda (6'11"), who gets by a lot on his family's wealth and clout, but is definitely on the weaker end of the lieutenant power scale. In his case, his large size kind of speaks to his entire "thinks he's classy, but is really just gaudy"/can't-even-tell-how-outclassed-he-is-by-his-peers deal.

Then, as a counterpoint, you've got Hitsugaya: immensely powerful from a young age, and one of the hallmarks of his character is how in-control of himself he is, down to having developed an actual visible power bar for his bankai. Whether this is some effect of his personality, or whether it's an intervention on Hyourinmaru's part, his growth has been choked off as a side effect. He's the direct opposite of Jidanbou, who additionally seems somewhat childlike in personality (crying over his axes, for example, or his attachment to his extremely dubious "rules of the city"). To me, it's very sweet that their friendship might have roots in opposite expressions of the same reiatsu-growth-fuckup.

Much in the way that the Shiba use some sort of magic that's distinctly different from shinigami-kidou, I guess I really like thinking about other ways power might manifest itself in Soul Society outside of the shinigami-industrial-complex. And also the way the Seireitei may or may not try to control those powers."Guard this gate!" they say. "We won't actually let you live in the city or give you city wages, but you can have a cool outfit and, uh...do it for the exposure?"

#soul society worldbuilding #gate guardians #jidanbou ikkanzaka #soul society inventing new forms of ableism that are only accessible at the highest level of power. incredibly on-brand for them #toshiro hitsugaya #hachigen ushoda #marechiyo omaeda #this may or may not be relevant to zaraki (6'8") but that guy is in his own category #werewolves are also their own thing but i wonder if their size firmly predisposes them towards the 'melee' side of things #not sure we ever saw komamura do a kidou and his hex chart rating was p low #ngl even tho it's a little silly later on i LOVE it when the characters in early bleach have no idea how the worldbuilding even works #rukia-doesn't-know-what-a-quincy-is i am looking at you #like it's not graceful or anything but learning how the world works is a thing that goes along with character and power growth #it underscores how 'young' characters like rukia and renji are even though they are old by human standards #and also how soul society is not. uh. committed to the ideals of the free spread of knowledge and education #i just think it's neat! my favorite lil dystopian afterlife!!#the reason i read that wuxing post is bc i woke up this morning and missed troius and went to go scroll thru his blog and it was there #troius i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuu i hope you're having a great day

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trickerys-domain · 2 months ago

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I was tagged by @contrivedcoincidences6 to make my OCs this picrew!! Thank you for tagging me, I finally got it done lol!!!

Iseya Tabris: A headstrong and compassionate duelist/assassin rogue. Blunt, and sometimes vengeful, to those who show corruption, incompetence, or cross her; but endlessly kind to those in need. Absolutely did not want to get married, but always wore Nelaros's ring to honor his sacrifice and as a reminder (yes, I did full ass sacrifice a whole item spot for this in game the whole game). Iseya thought she would always sacrifice anything for her family and people, including her found family and her lover Alistair. She was prepared to die to stop the blight, and would have if not for Morrigan's offer.

*Hilariously I named my Warden years prior to the release of The Last Flight novel, but it really added a great element to her character.

Marian Hawke: A two-handy Reaver Purple Hawke who loves her family especially her sister. Even Gamlen grows on her after the death of her monther as she finally is worn down enough to see him better. Marian starts off as a confident sassy jokster who tries her best to make a new life, but as the years go on and she loses and lose and loses, her jokes become a coping mechanism. A mean streak also appears. By the end she's so tired and depressed that she doesn't even notice Anders pulling away from her. She spares and stands by him anyway because she needs this one thing to stay in her life.

*I just really like the default Hawke Names, I think they fit Hawke really well.

Shiren'ne Lavellen: A compassionate, kind, yet firm and decisive person, Shiren'ne prepared her whole life to become a worthy Keeper for her clan. Yet after she ends up with a new calling she takes it with stride, understanding her role in the world is now beyond just her people, but she always rebuffs being sent by Andraste and stands by her gods. Shiren'ne's favourite thing about the Inquisition was getting to know everyone and learn so much about other cultures and customs, and was always happy to share and demonstrate her Dalish culture (within reason). And although she had been so ready to be Keeper and she is Dalish to her core, after everything she knew she could never return and instead found a new quiet life with Cullen. Shiren'ne prefers slower ritual and practical magics and leans towards old nature and healing (I wish spirit healer had been a subclass), but is eager to learn about the fade, spirits, and the journey of ones soul after death, showing this by choosing vallaslin for Falon'Din.

*Took some research, but her name essentially means Voice of the Journey. She chose the name herself for her Valleslin ceremony as part of accepting and stepping into her role as First.

No pressure tag to @wolfwhisperertf, @the-nameless-nerd, and anyone else who wants to ❤️

#this took so much longer to than it should have and I wrote so much more than expected #pls see more info and fun fact in tags if interested #also Contrivedcoincedences6 you and I made such similar hawkes and inquisitors #i had to rewrite them so many times to not feel like I just straight copied you #love that tho #Iseya Tabris being named after a city elf warden hero of the previous blight only to then become the hero of the 4th blight #also using dubious magic to win the day because they both knew they would do anything to end it is so delicious #that really fell into my favour huh lol #also if what i read is correct its even funnier because Tabris means 'person who embodies the soul/ideal/personality of a previous person'#its just too good #My Hawke also genuinely kinda respects the Arishok and is bummed to fight him but greatfull he's being honorable about it #also she ends up super disappointed in Aveline for becoming what she wanted to fix #Bethany is with the wardens and while Hawke is glad she's alive she also know its not where Bethany wants to be and feels so guilty #Shiren'ne's post Inquisition feeling are very much Frodo about the shire after his journey #Her purpose and experience and soul are just so changed she can never truly go back no matter how much she may want to #The first time I played Inquisition my lavellen had mythal vallaslin and it fits the story really well #but when i went to do my world state replay for veilguard I decided to go Falon'Din instead as the Vallaslin called to me #it changed how I played my lavellen so much but in all the best ways I love how she is now #also her being essentially Ameridan's shadow is so poetic #dragon age ocs #dragon age

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majorasnightmare · 1 year ago

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from one mineru lover to another ... can i pleek hear the headcanons you have for her

KICKS DOWN DOOR

YES ABSOLUTELY

some loose context for the headcanons i have for her

the zonai hail from the silent realm and formed 3 major settlements originating from the decaying trial gates, one in the sky islands, one in faron, and one below in the depths (using the eldin gate that had since been buried under hyrules changing landscape). by the time of totks ancient era, the zonai had been slowly and steadily migrating back to the silent realm with mineru and rauru being the last to stay

hailing from the silent realm, the zonai culturally place a massive emphasis on self betterment through trials, self inflicted or otherwise, as a way of marking time through growth, in service to the goddesses

im using the oot elements, so the gerudo get spirit (which manifests as lightning) and mineru gets shadow, linking her to the sheikah and the technology theyll create

rauru and ganondorf are exes who had an EXTREMELY messy breakup before rauru founded hyrule

i can elaborate on that more (and will later) but for NOW

MINERU

so i headcanon mineru as this character thats deeply atheistic and autistic. which doesnt make a lick of sense until i explain it further lmao

mineru, to me, is this person thats deeply materialist, whereas her brother rauru is deeply idealist, and sonia is a staunch spiritualist (which is why her and rauru make such a good match for each other). minerus primary concern is The Real. the golden goddesses are Concretely Real but their influence is negligible. mineru grows up in a culture that dedicates themselves to spiritual self growth through trials of self betterment for, ostensibly, the sake of three goddesses no one will ever see or talk to or be touched by. they exist, surely, because the triforce exists, because their power exists, but mineru will never see them, hear them, talk to them, touch them, or see their hands mold reality. in every aspect she would care about, They Are Not Real. and so ascribing to a cultural norm of "betterment through trial" (needless struggle and self doubt) just. doesnt click for her. why chase spiritual enlightenment when theres shit to do RIGHT here?

shes this kind of gruff, non social person who nonetheless cares deeply and intensely but wants to dedicate her effort and energy to things she considers important. her brothers important. her work is important. vague divine approval? unimportant. shes more concerned with how things tick than the Grand Plan of it all.

a lot of this makes itself manifest in her role (in my headcanons and aus) as the sage of shadow, if you understand shadow as Unseen (Concealed) Truth. why do the islands float? how does zoanite work? what can we do with this energy? what can we make? how can we build on it? shadow magic, imo, requires a strong thread of creativity. its what makes OoTs shadow temple so brutal and the history behind it so heinous. but it isnt inherently bad. its creativity, imagination, the Unreal. its the drawing of a curtain and the throwing it aside. this underlying current, the need to understand How and Why, is what makes minerus cutscenes with this understanding so much more enjoyable to me.

mineru is this character defined by her inventions, whos headpiece mirrors the goggles purah and robbie wear, whos role as shadow, the creator the inventer the counterculture, will be revisited when the sheikah create technological wonders that will spread throughout hyrule. she makes a mech to house her soul to survive the thousands of years into the future. whereas other sages choose a successor, mineru says "youll see me there in the temple my damn self." because if you want something done right you do it yourself!

i headcanon mineru and rauru as hailing from the sky island zonai civilization, and theyre the last hyrule dwelling generation. she grew up watching these senseless tests of courage that just risked major injury for no good reason, and then her baby brother goes off to better himself because he wants to make a meaningful impact in the world, and it just cascades into a dominos of bad decisions. she doesnt put any stock into divine intervention because the only people who can save anything are us. i picture her being endlessly fascinated by her home and the constructs and that curiosity being the foundation for a lot of what she does from there on out. becoming a fantasy mechanic, an inventor, getting down into the nitty gritty of a machine and getting covered in grime and oil but not caring because theres a problem that needs fixing and she has a wrench. voraciously tearing into any book she can find, any historical record, being this treasure trove of information and trivia and history because she cant help but come back to those questions, how?, why?, again and again.

itd be easy to hear her described as anti social and gruff, and see her interpreted as a little standoffish and blunt, and end up viewing her as kind of an ass, and you wouldnt be wrong per se but its really just that mineru only really puts effort into a relationship she cares about, and she really REALLY pro cons that shit. her first and foremost concern is rauru, her little brother, and as the zonai migrate back to the silent realm, her last remaining family. when rauru descends to the surface in search of problems to fix and Be Of Help, mineru correctly assesses his budding relationship with the gerudo royal is one fated for disaster, because nothing good comes from entering a relationship just to "fix them" regardless of how well intentioned and kind hearted you may be. because of this she doesnt invest much into getting to know ganondorf as he interacts with her brother, because shes expecting it to blow up and doesnt want any of that blowback. nevertheless when that comes to a head in the WORST possible way (a situation in the au that results in the creation of the gibdo queen, the first blood moon, the deaths of several gerudo guards and the eventual deaths of koume and kotake, a situation that will then contribute to The TotK situation) mineru beats herself up every day for not being more involved. her brother is sweet, and truly believes in the ideals of the zonai he was raised with, that to struggle is to overcome trial and better ones self, and such an effort is a spiritual responsibility of those hailing from the silent realms, created by divine hands, because of the power theyre capable of wielding. she cant fault him for that, because rauru IS capable of great good and he WANTS to help people so bad, but as mineru surmised years earlier, when your inundated with this concept that You Have Power and your Obligated To Use It, you never stop to think that maybe you arent the best person to solve this issue. you cant use a wrench for a screwdrivers issue. and knowing that, knowing rauru is driven to help but too inexperienced to know what he CAN help with, mineru feels responsible for not stopping him from biting off more than he can chew. (rauru, on his end, solely blames himself)

so shes a bit More Present when he meets sonia and when his idealism leads him to found hyrule, she stays close, but she really can NOT be assed to be dragged into politics because jesus christ. no. but she continues to be like. Peak Older Sister. every time rauru has a problem, shes the one he turns to. every time rauru wants advise, he asks mineru. he loves her a lot and relies on her guidance because he considers her one of the smartest people he knows (she is, along with sonia) and even though most of the time its rauru once again trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, theyve basically been abandoned by the rest of their people (who have written hyrule off as this kind of Fun Ordeal but Not Worth It as they go on being fucking. philosopher kings in a realm of Eternal Silent Trial where you can freely perfect whatever magic bullshit you want without worry of a body count or, ya know, consequences because very little is physically tangible there). mineru isnt going to like. continue that trend, and just leave rauru to it. hes a grown adult for sure, but that just means its his responsibility to grow and change as a person, not that he cant ask for help. especially because she doesnt want him to handle everything alone

so shes hands off with the hyrule business, and plus sonias got a good head on her shoulders, shes a nice balance to raurus Impulsive Do Gooding and helps him move from individual action to Systemic Good (tho that in itself is another one of Raurus Bad Impulsive Ideas because founding a Divine Kingdom of Good is a fools errand). and for the most part mineru is fairly assured that it wont blow up too horribly (*loud incorrect buzzer*) but man. when they show up with zelda.

so raurus very much a "im divinely obligated to help people" and sonias v much a "fate ordained our meeting" type and mineru is very very much Not That. but zelda? zelda is so much closer in personality to mineru, so when rauru and sonia show up with this girl from the future that theyve basically adopted, minerus like "alright you are once again Back On Your Bullshit so im NOT getting Into It" AND YETTT. zelda ALSO cant stop asking how? and why? (because light and shadow are closer than most people think), and zeldas so invested in what makes this tech work, how it functions, what makes it go, and while rauru and sonia try to give zelda the best they can, zeldas also similarly thrilled to get her fancy white dress all gunked up with oil cuz theres a plug that needs reconnecting and mineru cant get her hand thru the gap. they get on like a house on fire and despite herself mineru loves zelda. absolutely adores her. which was NOT on todays to do list, for sure. and so despite herself mineru is now including zelda in her (very small) circle of family and similarly mineru is this gruff no nonsense figure zelda can earnestly talk to whos similarly concerned with the Real and the Practical and how it can be applied to solve our problems instead of omens chasing and prophecy fulfilling. which is why mineru goes out of her way to help zelda in a way she generally doesnt for sonia because well. zeldas basically her niece. and sonia can handle herself. and also zelda loves hearing about weird programming quirks in the constructs. so its really just kind of inevitable

but minerus pursuit of knowledge is why she knows about draconification (and rauru doesnt), and why rauru comes to her for help because thats kind of his habit. its a lot like asking big sis to beat bowser for you cuz you cant get it, and like she clowns on you for it but still takes the controller.

and when rauru and sonia are like "the ganondorf situation is Our Problem and we arent involving zelda" mineru is 100% behind that because uhh YEAH rauru it IS ur problem this is YOUR ex and your series of Questionable Decisions, but also why she throws herself into it because she does still carry that responsibility. she still feels that guilt for not protecting rauru from himself as his older sister, and that so many people suffered, and that now more people she cares about ARE suffering and WILL suffer. a feeling thats compounded by raurus sacrifice sealing ganondorf

understanding how the sky islands float was a childhood dream of minerus, to understand the hand of the divine and make it tangible and real, and while she achieves that, with the help of someone who really truly gets her and her work, the context surrounding it is so grief stricken and heart rending it thoroughly spoils the joy of scientific pursuit, which is probably why it isnt something mineru records in a lot of detail. in a lot of ways mineru loses all the people she considers family to that same Hand of Divinity, which imo makes mineru being atheist more richly thematic and adds to her character. its this combination of "am i being punished for my lack of faith?" alongside this determination to assert your individual power in SPITE of divine influence, taking herself to the present by her own craft and the sheer power of ingenuity and creativity and the aid of an equally learned peer. also her spirit bond is on the middle finger. i love that for her

this is long as fuck so im throwing bonus thoughts in the tags

#totk headcanons #mineru #mineru totk #mineru headcanons #totk zonai #zonai #totk spoilers #throwing my random commentary in the tags #literally i see shit like ''mineru comforting rauru after a nightmare'' thats like all soft and cutesy #and im just there like She Would Not Fucking Say That #MY mineru says fuck. and calls ganondorf a dipshit. my mineru hears zelda talk about rhoam and calls him a dense motherfucker #she isnt someone that shows kindness easily. but she IS still kind #she doesnt talk to people easily and doesnt play etiquette or politics.#shes a very I Follow Rules That Make Sense both socially and otherwise #it has to have a function a purpose a reason #including religion! why worship the gold trio if they leave you on read? make it make sense says mineru #yeah god may be real but god wont fire mega demon flamethrower at a molduga. i do that. me.#and until god DOES that then all three of em are CHUMPS #in the au i have with laura sonia becomes the light dragon and carries zeldas soul to the present along with the master sword #and her and mineru have a very emotional reunion #which. is EVERYTHING to me #ALSO I CAN AND WILL ANSWER FOLLOWUPS. I LOVE CONVERSATION #BUT LIKE A VAMPIRE. I MUST BE INVITED

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